presentation about self love

Increase Clients’ Self-Love: 26 Exercises & Worksheets

As Nestell Bovee said:

“Both our first and last love is self-love.”

Self-love is empathetic and understanding of flaws, and appreciative of the good within each of us.

Self-love is not only important, but necessary for positive emotional health and various facets of success.

This article will guide readers in nurturing and boosting self-love by providing more than 40 useful activities, worksheets, and resources. By taking advantage of this treasure trove of tools and information, individuals will find themselves on a pathway toward a more fulfilled and joyful life.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you increase the compassion and kindness you show yourself and will give you tools to help your clients, students, or employees show more compassion to themselves.

This Article Contains:

Our 5 favorite self-love exercises, 2 exercises for your group sessions, 4 helpful worksheets, daily self-love: 3 activities and sheets, self-love and self-compassion: 12 useful techniques, a look at radical self-love exercises, science of self-acceptance resources, a take-home message.

While you may want to practice greater self-love, the question of how to get there may feel a bit overwhelming – but it doesn’t have to be. There are many self-love tools available, and we’ve compiled a generous list of them right here.

To begin with, here are five of our favorite exercises:

1. The Self-Esteem Check-up

This worksheet provides readers with greater insight into how they feel about themselves. The exercise contains a list of 10 statements referring to various aspects of self-esteem , which are then rated on a 1–4 scale in terms of agreement.

This instrument is useful to see where a person falls in terms of key indicators of self-love – an essential quality for the enhancement of positive wellbeing.

2. My Love Letter to Myself

This exercise promotes self-love by having individuals write love letters to themselves that emphasize their most valued attributes. The first step is to identify the top eight qualities they love most about themselves.

The reader then lists eight ways in which these attributes have benefited them in life.

The final step is for readers to note several ways to honor the above qualities.

This exercise is a loving way for individuals to practice self-love and self-kindness that will benefit them throughout their lives.

3. Emotional Wellness Quiz

The Emotional Wellness Quiz helps individuals identify the degree to which they recognize, accept, and manage feelings. Readers respond to 16 feelings, indicating how often they have experienced each one over the past month.

Scores are created for positive feelings, negative feelings, and all feelings combined.

This quiz helps readers to recognize their emotional IQ , which is an essential step toward enhancing it.

4. Who Am I?

The Who Am I worksheet enables individuals to enhance self-awareness by responding to six open-ended questions followed by several debriefing prompts. Readers first examine the fundamental question: “ Who Am I? ” In doing so, they can examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors by responding to three questions, for example:

• Other people frequently view us differently from the way we see ourselves. How do you think your closest friend or family member would describe you in one paragraph?

Three additional questions are included to identify external self-awareness, for example:

• Now, try to forget others’ perspectives. If you were writing to your past self, what would you choose to include about who you are now?

Finally, readers debrief by considering several aspects of their responses, for example:

• What stands out from your answers?
• What steps can you take to keep building your self-awareness ?

This tool provides a simple way for individuals to practice introspection into both internal and external self-awareness, crucial for enhanced self-love.

5. Self-validation and Self-respect

The goal of this exercise is to help clients improve their self-confidence and self-esteem. The first step is to list three self-validating statements they have used in the past week.

The second step involves answering some questions that can help the client implement the process of validation on themselves.

A few questions include:

• What was the situation?
• What did you say?
• What was the outcome?

This exercise can help the user become familiar with using self-validation as a positive method for improving self-confidence and self-esteem.

Such exercises, which may be utilized by counselors and teachers, are both fun and beneficial to everyone involved.

Here are two examples:

1. Things I Love

This worksheet involves having individuals share and discuss the things they love. Group members are instructed to work through a list of 10 categories and examples, which are provided in the worksheet.

By going through each category and sharing responses out loud, this exercise supports group cohesiveness and meaningful connections.

2. What I See in YOU

This group exercise is designed to enhance positive self-regard by providing each group member with insight into how others perceive them. This activity is based on the premise that individuals often hold negative self-appraisals that are inconsistent with how others seem them.

Group members are instructed to sit in a circle and, following a moment of reflection, say something positive about each person one at a time. After each compliment, the recipient is then asked to repeat the phrase with an “I” statement, for example:

Download 3 Free Self-Compassion Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you to help others create a kinder and more nurturing relationship with themselves.

Download 3 Free Self-Compassion Tools Pack (PDF)

By filling out your name and email address below.

Here are four more helpful worksheets designed to promote self-love:

1. My Personal Beliefs

This worksheet helps individuals identify the beliefs and judgments they hold about themselves. The first step is to explore self-appraisals by responding to 10 open-ended questions.

The second step involves debriefing on those responses, which is aided by several prompts.

This exercise adds value by enabling people to first recognize their self-appraisals and then to replace them with those that are more self-loving.

2. I Will Survive

This worksheet helps readers appraise their coping skills and support systems used to deal with stress and adversity. Readers first identify a personal challenge they dealt with in the past. This involves writing freely about the event, as well as any feelings associated with it. They then consider how they survived the challenge and the personal resources they used to get through it.

For the second part of the worksheet, readers reflect on their external social support system. They first consider a meaningful goal or wish and write about it. Lastly, readers then consider a compliment they received that is related to the above goal or wish.

This instrument is a valuable way for people to recognize the strengths they have used in the past to overcome difficulties. In doing so, they will be in a better position to draw upon such strengths when encountering future challenges.

3. Exploring Character Strengths

The goal of this exercise is to help people recognize personal character strengths, which are described in terms of six virtue categories.

After reflecting on how they effectively dealt with past experiences, readers answer 10 open-ended questions designed to reveal character strengths .

Peterson and Seligman (2004, p. 4) noted that “ character strengths are the bedrock of the human condition and that strength-congruent activity represents an important route to the psychological good life. ”

This exercise provides an easy way for individuals to identify and nurture these powerful qualities.

4. Setting Valued Goals

This worksheet supports individuals in identifying personal values and creating goals toward achieving them. Readers first respond to open-ended questions assessing core personal values.

Next, from a list of 10 value domains, readers identify the top three they feel are important.

Readers then provide examples of how each of the values functions in daily life, as well as goals for achieving each of them. This worksheet offers a straightforward and meaningful way for people to reflect upon the values they hold dear and to create actionable ways to bring them to life.

By adding them to your daily routine, you will find that self-love comes naturally and is ultimately internalized.

Here are four ways to make self-love a daily habit:

1. Self-Love Journal

This worksheet guides individuals in engaging in daily journaling that promotes self-love and self-compassion, as well as healthy emotional self-expression . Readers are directed on how to journal and are provided with 10 prompts, for example:

• List three things – or people – that you’re grateful for today.
• What is one personality trait that you feel proud of?

Self-love journaling is a terrific way for individuals to remind themselves of their unique and wonderful attributes, which often go unnoticed as people go about their lives.

2. Self-Compassion Pause

This simple meditation provides an excellent way for individuals to uncover a more self-compassionate way of relating to themselves. Readers are instructed to follow 15 steps that can be spread out across numerous sessions. A few examples of statements that they can repeat include the following:

• May I be filled with love and kindness.
• May I be happy and at ease.
• May I be safe.”

Several guided meditation instructions are also provided, for example:

• Bring awareness to your breath for a few moments, paying attention to each inhalation You may place one hand on top of your chest and feel the warm sensation this may bring.

By regularly practicing this meditation, individuals are more likely to experience self-compassion during difficult times.

3. Catch Yourself Being GREAT

This fun worksheet uses positive reinforcement to boost positive self-regard. Readers are first asked to design a reward jar, using pens, stickers, or other art supplies. In doing so, a simple jar is transformed into a lovely object in which important messages will be stored.

The second step is to print the “ Monthly Good Deeds ” calendar and fill it in for the corresponding month. Then, each time they do a good deed for themselves or someone else, individuals add a gold star for that particular day. Examples of good deeds are also provided.

For the next step, each time a good deed is added to the calendar, a specified amount of money is inserted into the jar. By the end of the month, the money is used toward a special reward.

This exercise is guided by classic behavioral research by B. F. Skinner (1948), who demonstrated that desirable responses are increased when associated with meaningful rewards.

Subsequent studies have found an abundance of evidence supporting the power of positive reinforcement in increasing prosocial behaviors in both children (e.g., Lucyshyn, Dunlap, & Albin, 2002; Ramaswamy & Bergin, 2009) and adults (e.g., Martin, 2005; Robison, 2006).

How to practice self love – Psych2Go

There are many ways to bring more self-love and self-compassion into your life. Many of these practices are easy and even free, with invaluable benefits.

Here are 12 ideas:

• Avoid labeling yourself : We often go through life with self-defeating labels that we may have connected with ourselves long ago (e.g., I’m not lovable, I am unsociable, etc.). Think about any labels you may be carrying and work toward substituting them with positive ones.
• Don’t deprive yourself : If you are trying to diet or do something else difficult, be careful not to cut out too much pleasure from your life. This often leads to feelings of self-deprivation, which may sabotage your goal.
• Listen to your gut/establish boundaries : If something doesn’t feel right deep in your gut, LISTEN!!
• Make your needs clear : Few of us are mind readers. If someone in your life is letting you down, make sure they are fully aware of what you need.
• Nurture yourself : This may be done a thousand ways. Think of what brings you peace and do more of it.
• Prioritize your health and happiness : It is often the case that people are so busy caring for others that they place their own needs on the back burner. Don’t do this. You are of no value to anyone else if you are sick or miserable.
• Remind yourself of your positive qualities each day : By using positive affirmations , you will feel better about yourself and your ability to take on the day.
• Make peace with your past : By letting go of old hurts, you aren’t letting those who caused you pain off the hook. Instead, you are allowing yourself to move forward in a way that enables you to embrace the present.
• Reward yourself : This is psych 101, as we are all guided by positive reinforcement. If you want to do more of something, reward yourself. The reward doesn’t need to be significant, just meaningful.
• Don’t sabotage your health and happiness : Watch for destructive thoughts or behaviors that you may use unconsciously (e.g., causing chaos in a relationship out of fear of abandonment ).
• Watch out for black-and-white thinking : Do not fall into the black-and-white trap. For example, if you’re trying to eat better and have a piece of cake, that’s okay. You are not a failure. Enjoy your cake, and continue to nurture yourself with healthier food next time.
• Take care of your body through healthy eating : Remember that everything you put in your body is either fighting disease or feeding it. Do the necessary meal planning to ensure that you have plenty of healthy food on hand that will nurture your body and soul.

Taylor (2018, p. 6) described it as “ deeper, wider, and more expansive than anything we would call self-confidence or self-esteem… Including the word ‘radical’ offers us a self-love that is the root or origin of our relationship to ourselves. ”

Here are four ways to enhance radical self-love:

1. Self-Love Sentence Stems

This exercise may be used as a way to either inspire self-love journaling or as a standalone practice for those who prefer not to journal. Instructions are simple; the reader simply fills in the blank in a series of 20 statements.

By responding to these statements, individuals are better able to nurture and practice greater self-love, self-kindness, and self-compassion.

2. Spotting Self-Love

This worksheet helps readers to recognize self-deprecating beliefs and then to replace them with self-kindness. Readers are instructed to read two vignettes, followed by two differing responses.

Each of the responses is then rated on a scale. Once they assess the responses, readers note their preferred responses and rates, and then write down the steps they might take to respond more consistently with their favorite answer in the future.

The vignettes provide readers with challenging situations.

For the final step in the exercise, the readers consider their reactions to the vignettes by responding to several questions.

By including vignettes, this worksheet provides readers with realistic, relatable examples of ways to enhance self-love.

3. Stacking the Deck – Radical Self-love Cards to Brighten Each Day

With this fun exercise , individuals create self-affirmation cards as a way to inspire, motivate, and enhance self-love. Readers are instructed to collect a stack of blank cards, art supplies (e.g., pens, stickers, photos, cut-outs, etc.), and positive affirmations, for example:

• “ You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” (Buddha)
• “You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” (Brené Brown)

Readers then decorate each card using a positive affirmation on each, along with artwork. The beauty of this exercise is that it results in creative and unique positive affirmation cards that individuals may take with them to promote self-love wherever they go.

17 Exercises To Foster Self-Acceptance and Compassion

Help your clients develop a kinder, more accepting relationship with themselves using these 17 Self-Compassion Exercises [PDF] that promote self-care and self-compassion.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

Helpful resources to improves self-acceptance.

The Science of Self-Acceptance Masterclass©

To support clients in enhancing self-acceptance, PositivePsychology.com offers the Science of Self-Acceptance Masterclass© . This innovative program provides practitioners with a research-based approach that will help clients divert their unhealthy attempts to increase self-esteem (an often unachievable goal) toward the much more useful construct of self-acceptance.

Taught by a highly experienced psychologist and researcher, Dr. Hugo Alberts, this course promotes healthy relationships with the self by acknowledging that low self-acceptance is the basis for many psychological and emotional issues. Dr. Alberts notes that despite high self-esteem , achieving a meaningful and contented life is an unrealistic objective in the absence of self-acceptance.

The masterclass contains eight modules of live recordings; a comprehensive science-based handbook; and numerous audio files, worksheets, exercises, illustrations, PowerPoint slides, and other useful resources. Overall, by guiding individuals in how to change approval-seeking narratives, the masterclass promotes a deep and long-lasting sense of worthiness.

Along with the masterclass, several self-awareness books substantiate the importance of self-love.

Here are five examples:

1. The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook

This science-based workbook provides readers with numerous resources and activities aimed at enhancing greater self-kindness and self-compassion.

It contains an eight-week mindful self-compassion program, which includes guided meditations and practical exercises, and various vignettes focused on common issues.

The goal of the book is to provide readers with valuable tools aimed at promoting self-compassion and the numerous positive outcomes associated with it.

Available from Amazon .

2. The Strength of Self-Acceptance

This book acknowledges the link between self-acceptance and positive mental health outcomes. It includes a comprehensive collection of research supporting the benefits of self-acceptance.

Insight from numerous leaders in the area of self-acceptance is included (e.g., Maslow, Rogers, Ellis, etc.), as well as knowledge drawn from Buddhist philosophy and Christian scripture.

The book provides a valuable research-based tool for practitioners intending to enhance positive fulfillment and self-acceptance in their clients.

3. The Happiness Trap

This book describes the research-grounded psychotherapeutic approach of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy  (ACT).

Rather than trying to change oneself, the technique outlined in the book guides readers in how to develop mindfulness that will allow them to live in the moment. In doing so, ACT helps individuals to minimize self-doubt and stress, thereby enhancing life satisfaction and meaning.

4. How to Be an Imperfectionist

This book contains simple science-backed techniques and is based on the premise that continuously striving to be perfect is a damaging mindset fueled by self-doubt and the need for approval.

The author describes the freedom that comes with being an imperfectionist. In doing so, individuals can remove the limits of perfectionism, enabling them to achieve positive wellbeing by accepting their flaws and mistakes.

5. The Self-Acceptance Project

This book contains a powerful collection of essays aimed at helping readers avoid the endless self-judgment and lack of satisfaction associated with low self-acceptance.

Numerous experts and spiritual guides contributed to the book, providing insights into such areas as removing the trance of unworthiness (Tara Brach), reconnecting with a sense of aliveness (Mark Nepo), moving from self-criticism to self-compassion (Dr. Kelly McGonigal), and practicing compassion for the self-critic (Dr. Kristin Neff).

With its 19 essays, the book provides readers with the inspiration and practices needed to establish meaningful, loving, and compassionate relationships with themselves.

Rockwell (2019) speaks of the necessity of creating a radical self-love movement with the power of mindfulness and love as the healing balm .

Unfortunately, without this healing balm, many of us grapple with feelings of low self-worth, guilt, and inadequacy that do nothing but enhance misery. Yet, we can turn these thoughts around in a way that is both kind and loving to the self. Doing so is worth the effort, as the benefits of practicing self-love are well supported by scientific literature.

This article has provided numerous worksheets, activities, resources, and ideas to get you started on your journey to greater self-love. Remember, not only is there is no selfishness in self-love, but as the Dalai Lama said:

we can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Self-Compassion Exercises for free .

• Bernard, M. (2013). The strength of self-acceptance: Theory, practice and research. Springer.
• Gaskell, A. (2017). New study finds that collaboration drives workplace performance. Forbes . Retrieved on July 9, 2020 from https://www.forbes.com/sites/adigaskell/2017/06/22/new-study-finds-that-collaboration-drives-workplace-performance/#693118213d02
• Guise, S. (2015). How to be an imperfectionist: The new way to self-acceptance, fearless living, and freedom from perfectionism. Selective Entertainment.
• Harris, R., & Hayes, S. (2011). The happiness trap: How to stop struggling and start living: A guide to ACT. Trumpeter.
• Linley, P. A. (2008). Average to A. Realising strengths in yourself and others. CAPP Press.
• Lucyshyn, J., Dunlap, G., & Albin, R. (2002). Families and positive behavior support: Addressing problem behavior in family contexts. Paul H. Brookes Publishing.
• Martin, A. (2005). The role of positive psychology in enhancing satisfaction, motivation, and productivity in the workplace. Journal of Organizational Behavior Management , 24 , 113–133.
• Neff, K., & Germer, C. (2018). The mindful self-compassion workbook: A proven way to accept yourself, build inner strength, and thrive.  Guilford Press.
• Peterson, C., & Seligman, M. (2004). Character strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. Oxford University Press.
• Ramaswamy, V., & Bergin, C. (2009). Do reinforcement and induction increase prosocial behavior? Results of a teacher-based intervention in preschools. Journal of Research in Childhood Education , 23 , 527–538.
• Robison, J. (2006). In praise of praising your employees: Frequent recognition is a surefire — and affordable — way to boost employee engagement. Gallup . Retrieved on July 9, 2020, from https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236951/praise-praising-employees.aspx
• Rockwell, D. (2019). Mindfulness in psychotherapy and love as the healing balm. The Humanistic Psychologist , 47 , 339–343.
• Simon, T. (Ed.). (2016). The self-acceptance project: How to be kind and compassionate toward yourself in any situation. Sounds True.
• Skinner, B. F. (1948). ‘Superstition’ in the pigeon. Journal of Experimental Psychology , 38 , 168–172.
• Taylor, S. (2018). The body is not an apology: The power of radical self-love. Berrett-Koehler Publishers.

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What our readers think.

Great Resources, very useful. Thank you so much for sharing them.

These worksheets don’t help me at all. It’s literally impossible for me to think positively about myself because I know I’m just lying to myself. Almost everyone I meet actively dislikes me too, so it’s not like it’s all in my head. Just gonna off myself I think. Been trying to years to not hate myself and I haven’t made any progress at all. Wish I was aborted

If you are struggling with severe symptoms of depression or suicidal thoughts, please call the following number in your respective country:

USA: National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988; UK: Samaritans hotline at 116 123; The Netherlands: Netherlands Suicide Hotline at 09000767; France: Suicide écoute at 01 45 39 40 00; Australia: Lifeline at 13 11 14 Germany: Telefonseelsorge at 0800 111 0 111 for Protestants, 0800 111 0 222 for Catholics, and 0800 111 0 333 for children and youth.

For a list of other suicide prevention websites, phone numbers, and resources, see this website: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

Please know that there are people out there who care and that there are treatments that can help.

– Nicole | Community Manager

Hope that you found the Mental Health support that you need Bb.

excellent resources available here! thank you

Really a great article , it’s a thought provoking article .Everyone should go through this.

This is an amazing article and extremely helpful. Thank you so much for sharing this.

I felt to share the gratitude with the author.

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Self-Love and What It Means

What is self-love? 

Before a person is able to practice it, first we need to understand what it means.

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve.

Self-love can mean something different for each person because we all have many different ways to take care of ourselves. Figuring out what self-love looks like for you as an individual is an important part of your mental health.

What does self-love mean to you?

For starters, it can mean:

• Talking to and about yourself with love
• Prioritizing yourself
• Giving yourself a break from self-judgement
• Trusting yourself
• Being true to yourself
• Being nice to yourself
• Setting healthy boundaries
• Forgiving yourself when you aren’t being true or nice to yourself

For many people, self-love is another way to say self-care. To practice self-care, we often need to go back to the basics and

• Listen to our bodies
• Take breaks from work and move/stretch.
• Put the phone down and connect to yourself or others, or do something creative.
• Eating healthily, but sometimes indulge in your favorite foods.

Self-love means accepting yourself as you are in this very moment for everything that you are. It means accepting your emotions for what they are and putting your physical, emotional and mental well-being first.

How and Why to Practice Self Love

So now we know that self-love motivates you to make healthy choices in life. When you hold yourself in high esteem, you're more likely to choose things that nurture your well-being and serve you well. These things may be in the form of eating healthy , exercising or having healthy relationships .

Ways to practice self-love include:

• Becoming mindful. People who have more self-love tend to know what they think, feel, and want.
• Taking actions based on need rather than want. By staying focused on what you need, you turn away from automatic behavior patterns that get you into trouble, keep you stuck in the past, and lessen self-love.
• Practicing good self-care. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. People high in self-love nourish themselves daily through healthy activities, like sound nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions.
• Making room for healthy habits. Start truly caring for yourself by mirroring that in what you eat, how you exercise, and what you spend time doing. Do stuff, not to “get it done” or because you “have to,” but because you care about you.

Finally, to practice self-love, start by being kind, patient, gentle and compassionate to yourself, the way you would with someone else that you care about.

- Written by  Jeffrey Borenstein, M.D. , President & CEO of the Brain & Behavior Research Foundation. This blog post also appears on the  Gravity Blankets Blog .

Find more articles containing tips and advice by clicking here.

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7 Ways to Practice Self-Love

Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health.  

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What Is Self-Love?

How to practice self-love.

Having self-love involves having an appreciation and respect for yourself. That includes taking care of your physical and mental health. Although most people are busy, it's important to take time to nourish yourself and treat yourself with the love and kindness you deserve.

Self-love is having regard for our own well-being and contentment according to the American Psychological Association.

While self-care proponents suggest taking baths and getting massages, loving yourself goes much deeper than splurging once in a while on pleasures like these.

Self-love should be a daily activity in which you check in with yourself and treat yourself the way we treat loved ones.

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation says that self-love comes from actions that support physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.

What Self-Love Is Not

Some critics think self-love is a modern concept and is merely self-indulgence. They view self-love as excessively focusing on yourself and akin to narcissism . But self-love is not about having a grandiose sense of self or being puffed up with self-importance. Self-love means taking care of your needs and recognizing that you have value.

The Importance of Self-Love

Your first relationship is with yourself and it’s the foundation of relationships with others. Loving yourself enables you to live in alignment with your values and to make healthy choices in your everyday decisions.  Confidence , self-respect, self-worth, and self-love are all interconnected. As we deepen in love for ourselves, we can deepen the love we share with others.

Sometimes it’s hard to assert yourself and think about your own needs. While it might be considerate to practice self-love here and there, it's important to make it a daily practice .

Here’s how to incorporate self-love into your lifestyle.

Prioritize Your Well-Being and Mental Health 

Your physical and mental health are directly correlated and how you feel physically can influence how you feel mentally and emotionally. When you begin loving and caring for your body, you’re directly and positively influencing your mental health, too.  Eating and sleeping well  is important in maintaining well-being and warding off illness. That means choosing healthy foods and getting adequate sleep every night.

Exercising regularly has a positive impact on your overall health as exercise decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, in your body.

Remember to give yourself time to take care of and value yourself. Struggling with mental health issues might require visiting a therapist, choosing online therapy , or turning to an app .

Embrace Self-Compassion

When you acknowledge your mistakes and accept your imperfections with kindness and without judgment, you exhibit  self-compassion . Dr. Kristin Neff’s widely accepted definition of self-compassion has three components:

• Self-kindness : feeling kindness toward ourselves rather than judgment, criticism, or shame
• Common humanity : recognizing we are part of a common humanity as everyone makes mistakes rather than viewing ourselves as isolated beings unworthy of love and belonging
• Mindfulness : viewing mistakes mindfully by having a perspective and not over-identifying with our failings

In a pilot study on self-compassion, scientists empirically tested the use of a writing intervention to determine if these self-compassion components influenced each other. Findings showed that the three components do mutually enhance each other.

Don’t Compare Yourself to Other People

When we are jealous of our friend’s promotion or feel we are lacking because we gained ten pounds while our neighbor is in great shape, it’s hard not to feel down. Social comparisons can cause stress. Comparison and competition may motivate you in ways that are helpful and not harmful. More often than not, they diminish us by causing stress, anxiety, guilt, and shame.

Social media has affected our mental health in not-so-great ways. We judge ourselves more harshly on a regular basis and don't feel good enough.  High social media use has been linked to depression.

Set Boundaries

Drawing the line helps with stress management . Sometimes you have to say 'no' at work or to your family to preserve your energy. One-sided relationships have unequal distribution of energy, control, and thoughtfulness. Recognize your needs and carve out time to be thoughtful about yourself by setting boundaries.

Forgive Yourself

Cultivate ways to stop self-loathing in any form. Forgive yourself for your past mistakes and find ways to heal. To incorporate self-love in your daily life, don’t ruminate over mistakes and regrets. Rather than blame yourself for things that were probably out of your control anyway, turn to self-forgiveness.

A recent study finds that greater forgiveness is linked to less stress and a decrease in mental health symptoms.

Surround Yourself With Supportive, Loving people

Having social support is vital. You could reach out to receive your  family’s love  for you but if those relationships are strained or they’re not in the picture, invest in relationships with your friends and community and allow yourself to receive care and support from them.

Let go of toxic, draining, and one-way friendships. The goal is to fortify yourself with healthy interactions and people who believe in you, champion you, and support you in becoming more of who you are and want to be, not less.

If you think you’re in love  but aren’t sure, remember that healthy relationships involve intimacy and deep emotional connection. Invest your time, energy, and care into platonic and romantic relationships that support, energize, and restore you.

Change a Negative Mindset

Positive thinking  doesn’t mean ignoring problems. It means choosing to have a positive outlook as an approach to life that includes gratitude and many possibilities. Maybe it’s time to seek support to process your anger and  release resentment and grudges , for example.

Holding onto and fixating on anger and hatred towards others can be damaging to our mental and emotional well-being and it can be an act of self-love and care to address it at the root cause.

Say kind things to yourself.  Positive affirmations  can boost your self-esteem and reduce your social fears. Remind yourself that you’re a kind person doing your best. Changing your perspective and focusing on things that you are grateful for and appreciative of can be immensely uplifting and is another way to practice self-love.

APA Dictionary of Psychology. Self-love .

The Brain and Behavior Research Foundation. Self-love and what it means .

Rudolph DL, McAuley E. Cortisol and affective responses to exercise .  J Sports Sci . 1998;16(2):121-128. doi:10.1080/026404198366830

Self-Compassion: Dr. Kristin Neff. Definition of self-compassion .

Dreisoerner A, Junker NM, van Dick R. The relationship among the components of self-compassion: a pilot study using a compassionate writing intervention to enhance self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness . J Happiness Stud. 2021;22(1):21-47.

Toussaint LL, Shields GS, Slavich GM. Forgiveness, Stress, and Health: a 5-Week Dynamic Parallel Process Study .  Ann Behav Med . 2016;50(5):727-735. doi:10.1007/s12160-016-9796-6

By Barbara Field Barbara is a writer and speaker who is passionate about mental health, overall wellness, and women's issues.

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“Self-love requires you to be honest about your current choices and thought patterns and undertake new practices that reflect self-worth.” ~Caroline Kirk

If one more person told me to “love myself” I was going to levitate into the air and pull one of those impossible martial arts moves from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon . I was sick of it!

What the heck does loving myself mean? Were they talking about bubble baths, pedicures, and cucumber masks? It turns out there is so much more to self-love than just pampering ourselves. I found this out the hard way.

About a year and a half ago, I almost died after a bad breakup. I had devoted so much of my energy to making the relationship work that I had completely neglected my own needs , and had given away my power and my responsibility for happiness.

As I wrote about here , when I finally developed the courage to end an addictive and painful relationship, I had to live with the effects of lack of self-love.

I struggled to eat, sleep, or continue my daily functioning. I spent every waking hour to myself, trying to understand how and why I had gotten there. I had to know, because whatever it was, if I did not attend to it, this was going to be the end of the road for me. I knew it.

I made mixed media collages, journaled, watched The Notebook five more times, cried, and called up friends to keep me company while I ate my few bites each day.

During this whole time, I found places in my story where I was not present to my own life, my body, or my spirit. I was just there. I found the places where I had abandoned myself and then gotten mad at the other person for not meeting my needs.

The truth was, I did not have a big enough inner container to hold the love I so desired even if I received it, because my self-love tank had shrunk down to the size of a bottle cap.

It finally became very clear to me that there was one core reason I had gotten there: I did not know anything about self-love.

This realization launched me into a relentless search for the meaning of self-love, internally and externally.

I found that self-love is a not a destination; it’s a practice. Self-love is the foundation on which we build a happy life. Without self-love, we have nowhere to put the love or abundance that comes to us.

Not sure what it looks like to love yourself? Here is what I’ve learned. Self-love is…

1. Choosing ourselves, even if it means upsetting others and not being popular anymore. Even if it means we leave a party before anyone else because we feel tired, overwhelmed, or just plain feel done with the crowd.

2. Telling what is true for us, not swallowing words that express what we truly feel, think, or want to do.

3. Giving our body the nurturing, rest, exercise, and comfort it needs to the best of our ability.

4. Wearing clothes that make us feel good and fit our personality instead of wearing clothes that are in fashion that we use to impress others.

5. Building a life that we love while we are single instead of waiting for our prince/princess to show up to explore life and to be happy .

6. Accepting ourselves with the good, the bad, the ugly, the sexy, and the smelly—all of it—and appreciating ourselves as whole people.

7. Making time to do whatever we love, just to play , without worrying about wasting time.

8. Owning our inner and outer beauty and complimenting ourselves without feeling guilty, arrogant, or entitled.

9. Not rehashing our past mistakes and dragging ourselves to a dark place when we know that we can only learn from the past; we can’t change it.

10. Spending some quality, connected time with ourselves instead of always watching TV or wasting time on the Internet.

11. Using discretion when sharing our heart, self, and dreams with others.

12. Trusting the path that our soul is on and making a genuine effort to become a conscious co-creator of our destiny.

13. Not blaming our parents for our current issues, and looking for ways to heal our wounds and change our dysfunctional patterned behaviors by reaching out to ministers, therapists, coaches, and healers.

14. Following what our gut/intuition says instead of living out of our brain and ego.

15. Staying in our integrity, both when it comes to ourselves and when interacting with others out in the world. This includes keeping ourselves in check regarding patterns such as lying, manipulating, co-depending, withholding, and pretending.

16. Allowing ourselves to dream big, without contaminating these dreams with judgments, our perceived limitations, or a lack of sense of deserving.

17. Knowing how we’re spending our emotional, mental, financial, and physical energy, and whether these activities bring back joy, connection, nurturing, rest, and creativity to our lives.

18. Taking responsibility for all of our experiences. Knowing that we have the ability for deeper self-awareness and access to our intuition when it comes to making life choices.

19. Not labeling ourselves with others’ opinions of us, while having the courage to look inside to see if there might be some truth to them.

20. Learning to set boundaries that protect and nurture our relationships, with ourselves and others.

21. Allowing ourselves to make mistakes and not berating ourselves for making them. Instead, choosing to appreciate our desire to learn and grow.

22. Refusing to seek permission or approval to be ourselves. Recognizing that we, like everyone else, deserve to take up space on this planet just as who we are right now.

And lastly, self-love is:

23. Loving and accepting ourselves even when we fail miserably at some of these self-love goals.

No one else can offer these things to us. No one else can take our vitamins for us or prevent us from going into a self-loathing attack.

Even if we land the best partner on the planet, this person won’t be able to make us happy and feel loved unless we create the space for it inside by practicing self-love. This is why self-love is an inside job.

From my heart to your heart…

About Banu Sekendur

Banu is an intuitive coach and a healer. Her passion is removing emotional, mental, and energetic splinters that create blocks to joy. You can connect with her on her website and her budding Facebook group Heart Alchemy Crusaders.

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11 Ways to Practice Self-Love That Therapists Swear By

Your aunt Suzanne won’t stop raving about this holy-grail concept of self-love she learned in yoga, all of TikTok seems to preach it, and at least half of your friends have casually dropped the term like it’s a thing we’re all doing now. But you are not alone if you’re sort of confused by what self-love means and how to go about it.

Basically, self-love is when you appreciate and value you , says therapist Jalissa Shelby, LCPC . That means it’s something you can feel. But it’s also the actions that you take because   you respect and prioritize yourself, like talking to yourself kindly and listening to what your body and mind need, says licensed clinical psychologist Nina Polyné, PsyD . 

And, even if you’re rolling your eyes right now, it might be time to believe the hype. Loving yourself and appreciating you   creates this “healthy domino effect of showing up for yourself,” Shelby says. It boosts your confidence and pushes you to advocate more for how you want to be treated, she explains. Self-love is giving yourself props for throwing your cousin the world’s best bridal shower. (Duh, you’re awesome!) Then, it’s getting a bit of space from said cousin after she brought up your recent divorce multiple times at said shower. It’s called boundaries , baby.

To be clear, it’s not like you cheers yourself for waking up after your first a.m. alarm and, all of a sudden, you’re “walking through the world always happy or holding yourself in a positive light [forever],” says Dr. Polyné. It takes a lot of work to avoid the negative thoughts trying to convince you that you aren’t good enough or not worthy, she notes. 

But if actually doing   self-love still seems a little nebulous, here are some specific ways to take care of yourself, protect your energy, and do what makes you happy.

1. Get to know your big emotions. 

Self-love means paying attention to your feelings rather than dismissing or minimizing them, says Shelby. One tool you can use to do that is journaling because you can pinpoint what’s truly going on in your head and figure out how you can best care for yourself through those emotions, she notes. When you feel rage , anxiety , envy , or even happiness knocking, let yourself write a free-flowing mess of words or follow journal prompts like these to learn about what might be causing them and what you need.

Maybe you sense rage bubbling up before bed and you’re not sure why. Journaling could help you realize that, while you’re angry you have work tomorrow and you despise your job, underneath that, you’re really just upset that you don’t have time for yourself anymore. So, maybe you decide that you’ll be more intentional with your nightly “me” time.

FYI, it’s common to discover uncomfortable things about yourself that you were maybe hoping to keep buried while journaling—like you envy your boss’s power and picture getting her fired more than you think you should. Learning about your emotions, no matter how icky they seem, is self-love. So try to be proud of yourself for that.

2. Create a mood-boosting playlist.

While it’s healthy to acknowledge your emotions and sit with those feels , we don’t always have the time or space to do that. And, even if you do, at some point you’ll need to stop yourself from slipping into a downward spiral, says Shelby. That’s why having a curated playlist of motivational, calming, and feel-good music at the ready is the perfect way to lean into self-love when you’re blah, bummed, or triggered.

For example, sort through your music streaming service of choice and create the perfect mix of pump-up songs, Shelby says. When tough feelings strike and you’re not ready to deal with them, you’re telling yourself, Hey, I see that you feel this way and that you don’t want to right now, so I’m here for you! Let’s play some Blackpink!

3. Do what’s meaningful to you. 

When you’re making decisions based on what gives you purpose or what lights you up, boom! That’s self-love—and it can make you happier. To figure out what gives you life, spend some time thinking about (or writing down) your values . They could include broad themes like compassion, creativity, or humor. Or, they could be something more tangible like friendship or even supporting small businesses. Then, do things that align with those values, says Dr. Polyné. If you’re into faith, you could volunteer in your place of worship. If travel lights you up, you could go on one trip every few years. 

4. Make an actual safe space for yourself.

Creating a safe zone all your own is an act of self-love because it gives you a designated area where you can focus on your needs and emotions instead of other people’s, Shelby says. Can you make your bedroom a worry-free region? Can your nightly showers feature candles and zen music? Can you chill in your car when you want a breather from life? The key is creating a space that feels good and peaceful when life is neither of those things, says Shelby. 

5. Know when to say no thanks.

Having an open slot on your calendar is not the same as having the energy to fill that slot on your calendar, says Shelby. So even if you technically are free to chat or go to lunch, it doesn't mean you’re down for it mentally. And setting boundaries is a form of self-love that protects your energy. “It allows you to advocate for what you need and not just [respond] to others’ needs,” Shelby explains. That could look like telling your friend who trauma dumps on you that you can only talk for an hour. Or, you could hit pause on Sunday dinner dates with your dad because all you ever do lately is argue about politics. 

6. Say something nice to yourself in the mirror.

OK, hear us out. It sounds dorky, but this can be a really powerful self-love tool for people who tend to pick themselves apart, says Dr. Polyné. That’s because you’re saying the opposite of what your negative thoughts might normally blurt out, she explains. 

Before you leave your bedroom, bathroom, or wherever your mirror is, look yourself in the eyes and name something about yourself that you’re grateful for, she suggests. Maybe you’re like, “It’s so awesome that I can laugh at myself sometimes,” or, “The old me could NEVER have been so open about my feelings on a date.” Pick whatever feels authentic .

7. Schedule mini check-ins with yourself.

Because showing up for yourself day after day is what self-love is all about, getting into the habit of booking a daily micro moment to assess how you’re doing will make a big impact. Over time, you’ll get used to thinking about what you need before   overwhelm strikes. 

When things are good, maybe you don’t need as much attention. But when you’re most stressed or sad, checking in to ask what your mind and body are asking for can help you prioritize taking care of yourself, says Dr. Polyné.

If you acknowledge that you’re exhausted from going, going, going, perhaps you’ll make a pact to get more sleep this week, Dr. Polyné says. If you realize you’ve been anxious AF recently, maybe you’ll decide you want to do something relaxing whenever you can fit it in.

8. When you feel your inner critic screaming, take a hard pivot.

Criticizing yourself after you disappoint people and/or make mistakes (even if it’s just forgetting cheese at the grocery store), is the opposite of self-love because you’re not even remotely trying to forgive yourself, says Dr. Polyné. Lean in a different direction when criticism shows its face. 

Maybe you’re throwing a tantrum in your head after noticing some typos in a presentation you gave. Try, in that moment, to forgive yourself for those mistakes and focus on how confident you sounded during the presentation. Sure, you might have added an extra “and” somewhere, but your boss smiled at least five whole times while you were talking! Go you!

9. At the very least, don’t judge yourself.

You don’t have to shout from the rooftops that you love your laugh or height when that’s not the case. However, leading with a more neutral view or finding value in what makes you different can boost your self-worth, says Dr. Polyné. Maybe your laugh is loud, but at least you’re letting someone know their joke was genuinely funny! 

10. Be realistic with your goals.

Sure, it’s great to dream big, but you’re not looking out for you   if you’re constantly overworking yourself (whether or not you even reach what you’re striving for). Being reasonable when you’re thinking about a timeline lets your brain know that you care about your well-being, says Dr. Polyné. So give yourself a weekend to go through your entire basement of clothes instead of saying you’ll have a donation pile in under two hours.

Remember this when you’re setting new goals and when you’re deciding what’s doable and what’s not doable on your to-do list. Yay, you, for accomplishing stuff! Double yay for not burning yourself out in the process!

11. Talk about your feelings.

Being vulnerable about what you’re going through with someone else is a major form of self-love because you’re taking the time to dig deep, regardless of how uncomfortable it is, says Shelby. And, on top of that, you’re showing yourself that you want to work out whatever’s going on with you, she adds. You can turn to friends and family, as long as they have the capacity to listen, she notes (maybe they don’t have the energy to hear about your anxiety-filled day). Or, you might want to unpack it all with a therapist . Find someone you trust who is able to listen.

Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.

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The Foundations of Self-Love

• January 15, 2022

I talk about self-love a lot . It’s been my main focus for the last decade and it’s something that I’m incredibly passionate about (as you can tell by my published book!). I created the Foundations of Self-Love to describe what most helped me because there was no one thing that made me love myself (maybe your journey is different).

It’s also important to acknowledge that some of us start at different places.

Mental illness changes the self-love journey. Physical illnesses and disabilities change the self-love journey. Child abuse and trauma change the journey. Lack of resources, support, and community change the journey.

Self-love doesn’t happen in a vacuum. It’s not Point A to Point B . It is such a personal experience. I can’t tell you how to love yourself. No random person on the internet can. I can give you the tools I use. I can point you in the right direction (we’re all trying to get to the same place right?) but I don’t have the magic formula.

Let’s talk about the foundations of self-love.

Self-talk, or your inner voice , is the thing that I focus on first. Think of your inner voice like your internal intercom. When you make a mistake – what’s the first thing that you hear in your head? Are you on the receiving end of a lot of positive/reassuring/compassionate feedback or does that voice tear you down?

One of the most transformative things that you can do is change how you talk to yourself. Think of what it would be like to live with a voice that’s not critical and abusive. Imagine that the voice is comforting and compassionate and gives you grace when you make mistakes and builds you up when you’re feeling down.

That’s magic, and it’s an important foundation of self-love.

Self-Discovery aka knowing what you like.

In my early 20s, my personality was – a blank canvas. There were a few things that were me but the music I liked, my hobbies, most of my interests – they were things that weren’t mine . I tried to please other people and that meant mirroring back to them the things that they liked.

I thought “agreeable” was a wonderful personality trait.

Self-discovery means learning what you like and also want you don’t like. (And then not budging on those things just to keep the people in your life happy.)

It also means developing goals, hobbies, and interests that fulfill you. When I started loving myself I tried everything I’d always wanted to do. I got a tattoo, listened to all types of music, spent hours in the park writing, and went to a yoga class. I started reading different kinds of books and trying new foods. It was so fun and it will always be one of my favorite parts of my journey.

Managing your mental health.

Not everyone has a mental illness but we all have mental health. Another one of the foundations of self-love involves mental health. When it comes to mental health – some people just need to focus on managing their stress and overwhelm. But for many of us, mental health is much more complicated.

If I hadn’t learned how to manage anxiety and depression I do not think my self-love journey would have gone anywhere. My brain was so LOUD. Anxiety was constantly making me question everything and everyone and depression kept me so pushed down with thoughts about how I was useless. I had to fight that battle before I could do anything else.

I will say that all of the things I did in my quest for self-love definitely helped relieve some of the intensity of my anxiety and depression.

Self-Acceptance is key.

You don’t have to be perfect to love yourself. It’s okay that you are flawed and imperfect. A decade ago, I felt like there were so many reasons not to love myself. I was single, I didn’t have a “good” job, and I wasn’t happy with my body.

“I will love myself when I am thin.”

“I will love myself when I find the love of my life.”

There was always a goal post that I was convinced would magically make me love myself. I had no understanding that loving myself would be an intentional act that I had to work at every day.

Boundaries are important.

Cultivating healthy communication and boundaries in your relationships is another thing that heavily influences your ability to love yourself. If our relationships are abusive and tear us down then it’s hard to find love within ourselves. It’s also important to have support systems and safe spaces because it allows us to mirror those things back at ourselves.

Your environment matters. And that’s where boundaries come in. Set them with anyone who tears you down and makes you feel bad about yourself. (Yes, even if they’re well-meaning)

I also learned how to set boundaries with my energy, time, and personal resources. I used to give, give, and give, because I thought it would make people like me. I found myself burnt-out, exhausted, and taken advantage of. I had to set healthy boundaries within myself too.

And finally, self-care.

Self-care is the act of showing love to ourselves. You know how when your favorite person rubs your back, makes coffee for you, brings you flowers, or gives you a super tight hug when you’re having a bad day? Those things make you feel loved.

Self-care is how we feel love from ourselves. It’s any action that makes you feel loved or takes care of your needs. It’s not always fun stuff, sometimes it’s hard things that make us feel better in the long run. Self-care is bubble baths and setting boundaries. It’s facemasks and letting go of toxic relationships. Sometimes it’s snuggling up with a blanket to take a break and it’s also forcing yourself to do something you’ve procrastinated on. It’s a series of choices that make your life better.

So there you have it! My foundations of self-love! Which one do you struggle with the most?

Don't forget to check out my shop for tons of worksheets and workbooks focused on self-care and mental health!

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Where Does Your Inner Voice Come From?

I love this post and the ideas you write here!!! You said a couple points that made me go “YES THIS”

“I tried to please other people and that meant mirroring back to them the things that they liked.” This is precisely how I was up until about 2018 when my whole social world (and a lot else) fell apart and left me really isolated and alone. I had no one to hang out with but myself. I had a lot of long conversations with myself, and now I am so much more self-aware and authentic. Shout out to my Therapist CJ who held my hand and gave me tools and support during the process.

“There was always a goal post that I was convinced would magically make me love myself. I had no understanding that loving myself would be an intentional act that I had to work at every day”

This was my experience in my 20s as well. I was convinced that my “purpose” was to be a mother and that when I had a husband and a child that I would suddenly feel ‘right,’ ‘motivated,’ ‘fulfilled,’ ‘content,’ and ‘inspired,’ Or something. I was absolutely delusional and I don’t use that term lightly. Because of my naivety and delusions becoming a parent at 24 was actually really traumatic and terrible for me. I had everything I believed would “fix” my life and my life could not have been more dysfunctional. I barely remember most of my son’s first 2 years of life because of the trauma and chaos of being a stay-at-home mom with him. I don’t regret the journey, but I sure did take some hard roads to learn some hard lessons in my 20s.

Thank you for your beautiful, insightful, concise, accesible and inclusive works. You never stop surprising and amazing me.

To me, I think the self-acceptance and Inner voice parts are the hardest. The self-discovery and self-care parts for me is the easiest. That is, I know what I like and what I want, but do I accept how I do what I like and want imperfectly? Not exactly. I suppose self-awareness does not mean self-acceptance, it seems.

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I'm an officially published author! Check out my book!

How I Found Authentic Self-Love

Personal perspective: how to change negative self-talk into positive self-love..

Posted April 9, 2024 | Reviewed by Michelle Quirk

• Find counselling near me
• Self-love was possible after I allowed myself to feel my feelings.
• Self-love was possible after I showed myself some compassion.
• Self-love was possible after I celebrated my wins.

After enduring a traumatic childhood , loving myself as an adult was not easy. In fact, it felt impossible. During those early, formative years when I should have been playing, exploring, and developing self-esteem , I was merely surviving.

I lived through poverty, going without electricity and hot water, and asking strangers for money to buy a loaf of bread and a can of soup. Experiencing those years of fight or flight kept me steeped in shame and self-loathing . My trauma, and my inability to process it, kept me, even decades later, doubting myself and my place in the world.

But when I embarked on a journey to heal my trauma and learned how to retrain my brain from negative Nelly to joy-seeking optimist , I knew loving myself was indeed possible. It would take some trial and error and a lot of patience, but once I honed in on what it took to reframe my thought patterns, loving myself became easier.

Notice I said, "easier." Even after all my years of healing, I still sometimes fall back into negative self-talk . We all do.

But now, I’ve created an awareness around it. When I hear my negative chatter, I do one or more of these five exercises to help me tap back into self-love:

1. Retrain my brain.

A big key to changing my negative self-talk was to create an awareness around doing it. Whenever I hear myself saying something mean about myself, I say “cancel” three times. Then I say the opposite—something kind and loving.

I’ve also created a habit of saying three things I love about myself while making eye contact with myself in the mirror. This is great to do first thing in the morning and right before bed.

2. Feel my feelings.

I used to be the consummate emotion stuffer. I’d push down my feelings hoping they’d go away or praying that after a day or two, they’d disappear. No such luck. That’s because we’re meant to feel our feelings and release them. In fact, the word emotion derives from the Latin word emovere , which means to release or move through.

These days, I make it a point to feel all my feelings. If needed, I go somewhere private and explore what I’m feeling. I visualize the feeling having a color or a face. What does it want me to know? To experience? Is it a trigger from childhood or a bad relationship? Emotions can be a beautiful mirror in which to see old wounds that need healing.

I also like to do an abbreviated tapping exercise. I place my hand on my heart and tap while saying, “Even though I feel all this [identify your emotion— fear , anxiety , sadness, etc.], I love and accept myself.” I say this repeatedly until I feel the love.

3. Show myself some compassion.

We’re taught from a young age to show others compassion, but we’re not always taught to show ourselves compassion. I do this by writing letters to myself or meditating while envisioning a version of me that needs love. I tell that younger, hurt version of me how much I love and appreciate them. I speak to myself as I would speak to a friend or a child, saying things like, “You were so brave and strong.” Or, “I’m so incredibly proud of you, and I love you.”

4. Celebrate my wins.

I used to run through life checking things off my to-do list without any thought of patting myself on the back for a job well done. That’s when everything started to feel meaningless. Like, what was the point? There was always more to do. Life started to feel like a slog.

Now I make it a point to stop and celebrate my wins—to high-five myself not only for accomplishing everyday tasks but even more so for doing things that nurture my well-being. Practicing yoga, meditating, getting a good night’s sleep, and spending time outdoors are always worth celebrating.

5. Reconnect with myself and do what makes me outrageously happy.

Whenever I feel disconnected or distanced from a friend, I schedule a date with them. We’ll enjoy a meal or go on a walk together. I started to do the same thing with myself. When I feel gloomy and negative, I plan time to reconnect with myself and do something that makes me outrageously happy.

At first, this was challenging because I didn’t know what made me happy, let alone outrageously happy. It took time for me to learn more about myself and what brought me joy. If you don’t know what makes you outrageously happy, stop reading right now and go on a date with yourself. You’ll be glad you did.

Loving ourselves is hard work, and it’s hard work because loving ourselves requires us to have a relationship with ourselves. And having a relationship with ourselves is just as much work, if not more work, than having a relationship with someone else. Relationships take time and energy.

But after having tapped into my own well of self-love, I can tell you that the time it took me to find the real me and love her was worth every second.

It will be time well spent for you, too, because we’re all worthy of unfettered joy, outrageous happiness , and unconditional love—especially our own.

Karena Kilcoyne, J.D., is the bestselling author of Rise Above the Story and a former trial lawyer who specialized in criminal defense.

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Speech on Self Love

Self-love is like a seed planted within you. It’s all about cherishing who you are, embracing your unique qualities, and appreciating your own worth. It’s the way you treat yourself in your quiet moments, and how you navigate the world around you.

When you start loving yourself, you build a more positive outlook. You feel confident, content, and ready to face life’s challenges. This is the beauty and power of self-love.

1-minute Speech on Self Love

Good day, everyone.

Today, we are here to talk about a very important topic – ‘Self Love.’ It’s not about being selfish or self-centered, it’s about taking care of ourselves. Just like we water a plant so it can grow, we need to love ourselves to grow as a person.

First, let’s understand what self-love is. It’s like being your own best friend. It’s about accepting who you are, the way you are. It’s about being happy with yourself, your qualities, your faults, everything. We all make mistakes, but we should not forget to forgive ourselves. That’s self-love.

Second, why is self-love so important? Well, when we love ourselves, we feel good. We feel happy. And when we are happy, we can make others happy too. When we love ourselves, we take care of our body, our mind, our heart. That way, we can stay healthy and strong.

But, how can we love ourselves? It’s not very hard. We can start by doing things that make us happy. It could be playing a game, reading a book, painting, anything. We should take out time for what we love. We should also keep saying positive things to ourselves, like “I am good”, “I can do this”, because words have a lot of power.

In the end, I want to say, loving ourselves is a journey, not a destination. So, let’s embark on this journey today. Let’s promise to be kind and gentle with ourselves. Let’s promise to love ourselves, because we are special, we are unique, we are worth it.

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• Essay on Self Love

2-minute Speech on Self Love

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, today we speak about a topic that is often overlooked, yet very important – self love. Now, what is self love? It is the act of caring about ourselves, just like we care about our favourite toy or our best friend. It’s looking in the mirror and saying, “I am good, I am important, and I matter.”

Let’s start with why self love is important. When we love ourselves, we feel happy. We feel strong, like we can do anything. We also feel good about the people around us. It makes us want to help others and be kind. When we love ourselves, we can spread that love to everyone we meet.

But how do we learn to love ourselves? It might seem hard, but it’s not. Start by looking at the things you are good at. Maybe you’re a great dancer, or you’re good at math, or you can run very fast. Remember those things. They’re a part of who you are, and they’re things to be proud of.

And what about the things you’re not so good at? That’s okay too. Nobody is perfect. When you make a mistake, don’t get upset. Instead, think about what you can learn from it. Mistakes are not bad. They help us grow. They help us become better.

Now, let’s talk about feelings. Sometimes, we feel sad or angry. That’s normal. It’s okay to have feelings, and it’s okay to express them. Don’t hide your feelings. Instead, understand them, learn from them, and let them guide you. Your feelings are a part of you, and they deserve your love too.

Finally, remember to take care of your body. Eat healthy foods. Get plenty of rest. Play outside. Your body works hard for you every day, and it deserves your care and respect.

In conclusion, self love is not about being selfish, or only caring about yourself. It’s about understanding yourself, accepting yourself, and taking care of yourself. When we love ourselves, we can love others too. So, let’s promise today, to show ourselves a little more love, every single day. Because you, yes you, are worth it.

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Love and Relationships

Love and relationships presentation, free google slides theme and powerpoint template.

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