How to Be a Good Person Essay

What does it mean to be a good person? The essay below aims to answer this question. It focuses on the qualities of a good person.

Introduction

What does it mean to be a good person, qualities of good person, works cited.

The term “good” has relative meanings depending on the person who is defining it. Several qualities can be used to define what constitutes a good person. However, there are certain basic qualities that are used to define a good person. They include honesty, trust, generosity, compassion, empathy, humility, and forgiveness (Gelven 24).

These qualities are important because they promote peaceful coexistence among people because they prevent misunderstandings and conflicts. A good person is fair and just to all and does not judge people. He or she is nice to everyone regardless of religion, race, social and economic class, health status, or physical state (Gelven 25).

A good person treats other people with respect, care, and compassion. Respect shows that an individual values and views the other person as a worthy human being who deserves respect. Compassion is a quality that enables people to identify with other people’s suffering (Gelven 27). It motivates people to offer help in order to alleviate the suffering of others. A good person has compassion for others and finds ways to help people who are suffering. Showing compassion for the suffering makes them happy.

It promotes empathy, understanding, and support. In addition, good people are forgiving. They do not hold grudges and let go of anger that might lead them to hurt others. They think positively and focus their thoughts on things that improve their relationships (Needleman 33). They avoid thinking about past mistakes or wrongs done by others. Instead, they think of how they can forgive and move on.

A good person is honest and trustworthy. This implies that they avoid all situations that might hurt the other person, such as telling lies, revealing secrets, and gossiping (Needleman 34). As such, their character or personality cannot be doubted because they do not harbor hidden intentions.

They act in open ways that reveal their true characters and personalities. On the other hand, good people are kind and respectful. They offer help voluntarily and work hard to improve the well-being of other people. In addition, they treat all people equally despite their social, physical, or sexual orientations. Good people do not discriminate, hate, deny people their rights, steal, lie, or engage in corrupt practices (Tuan 53).

Good people behave courageously and view the world as a fair and beautiful place to live in (Needleman 40). They view the world as a beautiful place that offers equal opportunities to everyone. Good people believe that humans have the freedom to either make the world a better or worse place to live in. They act and behave in ways that improve and make the world a better place.

For example, they conserve the environment by keeping it clean for future generations. A popular belief holds that people who conserve the environment are not good but just environmental enthusiasts. However, that notion is incorrect and untrue. People conserve the environment because of their goodness. They think not only about themselves but also about future generations (Tuan 53). They are not self-centered and mean but generous and caring.

Good people are characterized by certain qualities that include trust, honesty, compassion, understanding, forgiveness, respect, courage, and goodwill. They do not steal, lie, discriminate, or deny people their rights. They think about others’ welfare and advocate for actions that make the world a better place. They promote justice and fairness because they view everyone as a deserving and worthy human being.

Gelven, Michael. The Risk of Being: What it Means to be Good and Bad . New York: Penn State Press, 1997. Print.

Needleman, Jacob. Why Can’t We be good? New York: Penguin Group US, 2007. Print.

Tuan, Yi-Fu. Human Goodness . New York: University of Wisconsin Press, 2008. Print.

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A Conscious Rethink

15 Qualities That Are At The Core Of Every ‘Good’ Person

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pensive young woman with slight smile - illustrating a good person

What makes a person “good” in the grand scheme of things?

There are some traits considered to be good by just about everyone. There are also cultural variables as to what symbolizes and expresses goodness in a person. 

Ultimately, it’s up to the individual to determine what they feel are the qualities of a “good person.”

When we’re asked to explain why some of our heroes are (or were) sincerely good people, many of these traits will make the list.

1. Prudence

A good person is a prudent person. Prudence is the ability to determine whether or not a particular action is a good (or appropriate) idea at that specific point in time. It’s considered to be one of the four cardinal virtues, derived originally from Plato’s Republic .

Prudence also refers to a situation in which you have the strength to do something, but choose not to. Or, when you could do something that’s self-indulgent in the moment, but choose to err on the side of better judgment for later.

An example of this would be refraining from spending money on games and junk food because you need to save enough to cover your portion of the rent and bills. You may spend a bit on a small indulgence, but choose responsibility over temporary amusement or gratification.

2. Temperance

Although most people interpret temperance as being abstinence from something, what it actually means is moderation. 

Having temperance means finding the middle path, and balancing the self in the face of any situation. It encompasses self-discipline and self-awareness. After all, you have to know your own abilities as well as your own limits in order to find the moderate zone between them. 

For example, embodying a sense of diplomacy as a moderator means finding that magical middle ground between expressing what you need to say, with the needs and views of others around you.

In other people, temperance might mean accepting a small drink when toasting with others, but refraining from drinking to inebriation. Or thoroughly enjoying a slice of cake without overindulging.

When you are balanced and measured in your approaches to everything, you can experience and understand all without being overwhelmed by it.

Good people often show courage. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but rather the ability to take action even though you feel afraid. It is knowing that there is a difficult, potentially dangerous task ahead of you, but doing it because you know it needs to be done.

This one goes along with several of the other qualities listed here. For example, it often takes courage to act with integrity.

Courage can take many forms, from trying a new, challenging exercise to standing up to an intimidating person, or facing something that scares you.

The first level of courage is doing something even though it terrifies you.

The last level is being a calm, inspirational force to others, while feeling the same fear that they’re experiencing. 

For example, a high-ranking officer in a WWI trench was a bastion of calm and confidence, while the troops around him were quaking with fear. A young Private asked him how he was so calm, and the officer replied that he had to be in order to keep morale up. Additionally, he knew that the soldiers on the other side were also afraid, and that was oddly reassuring to him.

4. Compassion

Being compassionate isn’t just about understanding someone else’s pain. It’s also the desire to help alleviate it. One can look at a person and see that they’re suffering (sympathy) and then walk on by. But when we want to do what we can to help, then that’s compassion in action.

Ultimately, the basic element of compassion is kindness. We want to give of our own abilities to help another being who may be suffering. We can have compassion for people, animals, trees, rivers… anything that seems to be in distress that we can help to lessen.

The greatest mastery of compassion is when the one you’re trying to help is hurting you, and yet you’re still offering them assistance in a loving, gentle way. An adult may rail against you, or the hurt animal may bite you, but you still try to help.

Compassion means that you understand another’s pain without compounding it, offering what the other needs, and giving of yourself, regardless of the outcome.

5. Generosity

Generosity is a quality often associated with a good person. When we have a surplus of something, it’s important to share with others who have less. Even if we don’t have a surplus, it’s important to share with others. 

We always have something that we can share or give to those around us. This doesn’t have to be monetary wealth or physical objects, either. People who don’t have a lot of money can still be immensely generous with their time, for example. They can volunteer with the elderly or doing charity work. Or they can teach their skills to others who would like to learn from them. 

Being generous means that you’re giving with the heart, without any schemes to receive anything in return, or control those you are being generous with. These are gifts freely given, not because you think you’ll benefit in turn.

Quite often, those who have the least are the most generous toward others, because they know what it’s like to have nothing. They have the biggest hearts, and tend to be the most willing to help others in need.

6. Patience

This is one of the qualities that many admire, but it is also one of the most difficult to put into practice. It’s possible that this is because few of use are actually patient by nature. 

We tend to want things on our terms, on our own time. As a result, we get frustrated and annoyed when things don’t play out the way we think they should.

This is why it’s important to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around our wants and our schedule. There are billions of other players on this chess board, all engaged in an intricate dance. As such, we need to acknowledge and respect that we are all cogs in the machine, and our time to turn will come when it’s meant to.

Furthermore, it’s important to be aware that a lack of patience can cause a great deal of harm. People can only do their best, and when we’re impatient with those who aren’t as capable as we are, we can make them feel truly horrible about themselves. Or worse, they may end up traumatized and damaged. 

This is why it’s important to be patient with the grandmother or the child when crossing the road in a hurry, because they can’t keep up with you. If you’re not, and you walk away quickly instead of helping, they may end up getting hurt. 

Patience means that you can remain calm and measured in your responses, even when irritated. To not throw a tantrum when forced to wait. And to not complain unduly when things are taking longer than expected.

7. Respect 

Respect is undoubtedly a characteristic of a good person. When we talk about respect, we’re encompassing various aspects thereof. This includes respect for other people, self-respect, respect for life, for nature, etc.

Tolerance, esteem, appreciation, and recognition are just a few aspects of respect that can come into play.

For example, we can respect nature by not throwing garbage around or polluting water supplies. We can respect housemates by acknowledging the fact that they live their lives differently than we do, so we don’t project our behavioral expectations onto them.

We can respect our bodies by eating well and getting plenty of exercise, and show self-respect by not engaging in activities that would make us feel shame later. 

We acknowledge boundaries – our own and other people’s – and don’t overstep them for the sake of self-indulgence. We acknowledge that every individual is perfect, sovereign, and sacred. As such, we don’t put others down or mistreat them. Instead, we pay attention when they speak, honor their words, heed their personal choices.

It doesn’t take much effort to help others feel seen and heard, but it makes a world of difference to them when we do so.

8. Tolerance

Tolerance means accepting that others may think, behave, or live differently than we are, without trying to change their ways to suit our own preferences.

In simplest terms: live and let live.

Seek to understand your contemporaries in other cultures, races, religions, and creeds, rather than attacking them for their differences from you.

This is the difference between people who talk about how tolerant they are, but want to lead the next witch hunt.

In the 1600s it was witches. In the 1800s it was Amerindians. In the 1930s it was Jews. It is what it is today, and in 200 years, there will be another target group for people’s ire. 

Don’t jump on that bandwagon. We’re all better than that.

9. Integrity

A good person will act with integrity. Integrity means doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching. It’s holding to your individual moral and ethical convictions despite other people’s opinions and influences. Especially when it’s difficult to do so.

For example, let’s say that you’re working on a construction site and you find a precious artifact. You’re only making minimum wage at this gig, and this is a centuries-old gold ring buried in the mud. Nobody saw it except you. If you sold it, you’d likely make a ton of money. But you also recognize that it has historical significance.

Your sense of integrity would have you report the ring to the local coroner or Finds liaison officer so they can investigate it. Sure, you might get a reward for it – likely less than you’d have made for pawning it – but you know it’s the right thing to do. You didn’t have to, but you did it anyway.

10. Commitment

This one goes along with integrity, but expands upon it differently. 

Commitment means that you’ve held to your word, even if it was difficult to do so. This might mean sticking with a job or project that you absolutely hate because you promised someone that you would do so. Or it could be remaining faithful to a partner, despite your own non-monogamous leanings, because you gave your word that you’d be loyal.

You’ll see something through, simply because you made a promise.

A person who keeps their commitments is someone who can be trusted and relied upon. When you’re known as someone who keeps their word, you’re incredibly valued and respected in your community, as well as among your friends and loved ones.

11. Honesty

Honesty is often expressed as a quality of a good person. After all, if you discovered that someone lied to you, could you ever trust them again? If they lied to you that time, what would stop them from lying to you about everything and anything else?

People respect and appreciate honesty, especially when it’s difficult. For example, if and when we mess up horribly at work, but own that screw-up, admit to it, and take action to remedy it. Our employers and peers will respect us a lot more than if we try to cover it up or cast blame on others.

Furthermore, many people even appreciate honesty when it’s a bit hurtful. When someone is honest about a difficult topic or situation, it means that they care enough not to betray the other’s trust by lying about it. 

Of course, a lot depends on how a truth is shared. We can be gentle in our tone and the words we choose, rather than being cruel or scathing. How a truth is delivered can make the difference between long-term positive change, and trauma.

12. Humility

You know the type of person who’s always bragging about how awesome they are? Humility is the opposite of that.

Humility is holding to the idea that no person is greater or lesser than any others, despite popularity, wealth, titles, or achievements.

Those who feel that they are better or more important than other people tend to treat others badly. Since they consider themselves to be special, they often expect better treatment, and to be allowed to belittle those around them.

In contrast, someone who remains humble treats everyone around them with care and respect. They don’t tell others about all the wonderful charitable things they’ve done: they just do them. Their actions are for the greater good, not for the acknowledgement and praise they’ll receive from doing so.

13. Strength

The strength that makes a good person is mental and emotional rather than physical. Strength can be shown in a gentle way, albeit one that is unyielding. Look at Mahatma Gandhi and his hunger strike. It took immense strength to quash his own hunger, though agonizing, in order to work toward positive change. 

Hannibal and Marcus Aurelius showed immense strength of character in keeping everyone together while undertaking a massive journey. 

Anne Frank and Mother Teresa both showed tremendous strength in atrocious circumstances. Furthermore, their ability to love and care for others remained intact despite the horrors they witnessed and experienced.

You’ve likely noticed that strength and compassion, and strength and courage are linked. This is because strength is not always a projective virtue, but rather it’s an adaptive term. 

Strength is often a battery for many of the other qualities on this list. For example, you may show immense strength when you hold to integrity when everyone around you is doing something that goes against everything you believe in. Standing up for what you believe is right might be dangerous to you – perhaps even life threatening. As such, it takes immense strength of character and will to be true to yourself. 

There are many different types of love, despite the fact that only one word is used to encompass them in the Western world. We’re mostly familiar with romantic love, or the love felt between parents and children. But we can love humanity or nature with all our hearts as well. And we know that we love when we pour our energy toward other beings’ happiness, health, success, and freedom.

Some people mistake infatuation for love. Or possessiveness. Someone might love another person because they feel that the other person will give them what they need. Similarly, they might love a pet, or a house, or any other being or creature that brings them fulfillment. 

In contrast, when we truly love a person, our greatest wish is for their happiness. 

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski covers this when he talks about “fish love.” What most people consider to be “love” is when their needs are fulfilled. Such as a man who eats a fish because he loves fish. This man loves the fish he’s eating so much that he took it out of the water, boiled it, and is eating it. He loves himself, and sees the fish as something that will fulfill his needs and wants.

If he truly loved the fish, he would encourage it to swim happily and lead a beautiful life. 

Real love isn’t a question of what we’re going to get from a situation or a person, but what we can give .

15. Self-awareness

You know in your gut when you’ve done wrong, or when you have done good.

If you ever do something and feel a twinge of shame or disgust with your actions, then you’re fully aware that you didn’t act in love or respect. Perhaps you did something sneaky for the sake of your own self-interests. Or the selfish altruism you displayed was far more for your own benefit than the other person’s.

In contrast, when you’ve done something that’s ethical and loving, you’ll feel an immense lightness of being. A warm glow will suffuse through you, and you might even get a bit choked up. You know that your actions will have long-reaching positive repercussions; like a glowing pebble thrown into a pond. Every ripple will carry light along with it.

Listen to this feeling when it speaks to you. Recognize it as your own inner compass, and allow it to lead you to the sincere goodness you’re capable of.

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About The Author

good person essay in english

Finn Robinson has spent the past few decades travelling the globe and honing his skills in bodywork, holistic health, and environmental stewardship. In his role as a personal trainer and fitness coach, he’s acted as an informal counselor to clients and friends alike, drawing upon his own life experience as well as his studies in both Eastern and Western philosophies. For him, every day is an opportunity to be of service to others in the hope of sowing seeds for a better world.

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Published: Dec 12, 2018

Words: 1044 | Pages: 2 | 6 min read

What Does It Mean to Be a Good Person?

Works cited.

  • Bandura, A. (1999). Moral disengagement in the perpetration of inhumanities. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 3(3), 193-209.
  • Batson, C. D., Ahmad, N., & Tsang, J. (2002). Four motives for community involvement. Journal of Social Issues, 58(3), 429-445.
  • Baumeister, R. F., & Exline, J. J. (2000). Virtue, personality, and social relations: Self-control as the moral muscle. Journal of Personality, 68(6), 1165-1194.
  • Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). The "what" and "why" of goal pursuits: Human needs and the self-determination of behavior. Psychological Inquiry, 11(4), 227-268.
  • Eisenbeiss, S. A., Knippenberg, D. V., & Boerner, S. (2008). Transformational leadership and team innovation: Integrating team climate principles. Journal of Applied Psychology, 93(6), 1438-1446.
  • Keltner, D., & Haidt, J. (2003). Approaching awe, a moral, spiritual, and aesthetic emotion. Cognition and Emotion, 17(2), 297-314.
  • Leary, M. R., Twenge, J. M., & Quinlivan, E. (2006). Interpersonal rejection as a determinant of anger and aggression. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(2), 111-132.
  • Roberts, B. W., Kuncel, N. R., Shiner, R., Caspi, A., & Goldberg, L. R. (2007). The power of personality: The comparative validity of personality traits, socioeconomic status, and cognitive ability for predicting important life outcomes. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 2(4), 313-345.
  • Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68-78.
  • Staub, E. (2001). The roots of goodness: The fulfillment of basic human needs and the development of caring, helping, and nonaggression, inclusive caring, moral courage, active bystandership, and altruism born of suffering. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 5(4), 388-394.

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How to Write the Perfect Essay

06 Feb, 2024 | Blog Articles , English Language Articles , Get the Edge , Humanities Articles , Writing Articles

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You can keep adding to this plan, crossing bits out and linking the different bubbles when you spot connections between them. Even though you won’t have time to make a detailed plan under exam conditions, it can be helpful to draft a brief one, including a few key words, so that you don’t panic and go off topic when writing your essay.

If you don’t like the mind map format, there are plenty of others to choose from: you could make a table, a flowchart, or simply a list of bullet points.

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Thanks for signing up, step 2: have a clear structure.

Think about this while you’re planning: your essay is like an argument or a speech. It needs to have a logical structure, with all your points coming together to answer the question.

Start with the basics! It’s best to choose a few major points which will become your main paragraphs. Three main paragraphs is a good number for an exam essay, since you’ll be under time pressure. 

If you agree with the question overall, it can be helpful to organise your points in the following pattern:

  • YES (agreement with the question)
  • AND (another YES point)
  • BUT (disagreement or complication)

If you disagree with the question overall, try:

  • AND (another BUT point)

For example, you could structure the Of Mice and Men sample question, “To what extent is Curley’s wife portrayed as a victim in Of Mice and Men ?”, as follows:

  • YES (descriptions of her appearance)
  • AND (other people’s attitudes towards her)
  • BUT (her position as the only woman on the ranch gives her power as she uses her femininity to her advantage)

If you wanted to write a longer essay, you could include additional paragraphs under the YES/AND categories, perhaps discussing the ways in which Curley’s wife reveals her vulnerability and insecurities, and shares her dreams with the other characters. Alternatively, you could also lengthen your essay by including another BUT paragraph about her cruel and manipulative streak.

Of course, this is not necessarily the only right way to answer this essay question – as long as you back up your points with evidence from the text, you can take any standpoint that makes sense.

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Step 3: Back up your points with well-analysed quotations

You wouldn’t write a scientific report without including evidence to support your findings, so why should it be any different with an essay? Even though you aren’t strictly required to substantiate every single point you make with a quotation, there’s no harm in trying.

A close reading of your quotations can enrich your appreciation of the question and will be sure to impress examiners. When selecting the best quotations to use in your essay, keep an eye out for specific literary techniques. For example, you could highlight Curley’s wife’s use of a rhetorical question when she says, a”n’ what am I doin’? Standin’ here talking to a bunch of bindle stiffs.” This might look like:

The rhetorical question “an’ what am I doin’?” signifies that Curley’s wife is very insecure; she seems to be questioning her own life choices. Moreover, she does not expect anyone to respond to her question, highlighting her loneliness and isolation on the ranch.

Other literary techniques to look out for include:

  • Tricolon – a group of three words or phrases placed close together for emphasis
  • Tautology – using different words that mean the same thing: e.g. “frightening” and “terrifying”
  • Parallelism – ABAB structure, often signifying movement from one concept to another
  • Chiasmus – ABBA structure, drawing attention to a phrase
  • Polysyndeton – many conjunctions in a sentence
  • Asyndeton – lack of conjunctions, which can speed up the pace of a sentence
  • Polyptoton – using the same word in different forms for emphasis: e.g. “done” and “doing”
  • Alliteration – repetition of the same sound, including assonance (similar vowel sounds), plosive alliteration (“b”, “d” and “p” sounds) and sibilance (“s” sounds)
  • Anaphora – repetition of words, often used to emphasise a particular point

Don’t worry if you can’t locate all of these literary devices in the work you’re analysing. You can also discuss more obvious techniques, like metaphor, simile and onomatopoeia. It’s not a problem if you can’t remember all the long names; it’s far more important to be able to confidently explain the effects of each technique and highlight its relevance to the question.

Person reading a book outside

Step 4: Be creative and original throughout

Anyone can write an essay using the tips above, but the thing that really makes it “perfect” is your own unique take on the topic. If you’ve noticed something intriguing or unusual in your reading, point it out – if you find it interesting, chances are the examiner will too!

Creative writing and essay writing are more closely linked than you might imagine. Keep the idea that you’re writing a speech or argument in mind, and you’re guaranteed to grab your reader’s attention.

It’s important to set out your line of argument in your introduction, introducing your main points and the general direction your essay will take, but don’t forget to keep something back for the conclusion, too. Yes, you need to summarise your main points, but if you’re just repeating the things you said in your introduction, the body of the essay is rendered pointless.

Think of your conclusion as the climax of your speech, the bit everything else has been leading up to, rather than the boring plenary at the end of the interesting stuff.

To return to Of Mice and Men once more, here’s an example of the ideal difference between an introduction and a conclusion:

Introduction

In John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men , Curley’s wife is portrayed as an ambiguous character. She could be viewed either as a cruel, seductive temptress or a lonely woman who is a victim of her society’s attitudes. Though she does seem to wield a form of sexual power, it is clear that Curley’s wife is largely a victim. This interpretation is supported by Steinbeck’s description of her appearance, other people’s attitudes, her dreams, and her evident loneliness and insecurity.
Overall, it is clear that Curley’s wife is a victim and is portrayed as such throughout the novel in the descriptions of her appearance, her dreams, other people’s judgemental attitudes, and her loneliness and insecurities. However, a character who was a victim and nothing else would be one-dimensional and Curley’s wife is not. Although she suffers in many ways, she is shown to assert herself through the manipulation of her femininity – a small rebellion against the victimisation she experiences.

Both refer back consistently to the question and summarise the essay’s main points. However, the conclusion adds something new which has been established in the main body of the essay and complicates the simple summary which is found in the introduction.

Hannah

Hannah is an undergraduate English student at Somerville College, University of Oxford, and has a particular interest in postcolonial literature and the Gothic. She thinks literature is a crucial way of developing empathy and learning about the wider world. When she isn’t writing about 17th-century court masques, she enjoys acting, travelling and creative writing. 

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How To Be A Good Person And Why It Matters

What makes a person a “good” person? Should we strive to be good—and if so, why? If you asked twenty people what it means to be a good person, chances are you would get twenty different answers. What individuals perceive to be good character traits can vary depending on several factors. Religion, culture, and family dynamics, for example, can all play a part in forming one's viewpoint on a topic like this.

Note that human beings are complex and that sorting all people into the strict binary of “good” or “bad” is generally not possible or particularly helpful. Attempting to do so can even result in distorted thinking , which can sometimes lead to mental health concerns like low self-esteem, anxiety, or depression. Here, we’ll use being a “good” person as a general term that refers to behaving in ways that are broadly considered to be considerate and kind, but it can be helpful to keep in mind the deep nuances of a topic like morality.

What is goodness?

The word "good" is  defined by Merriam-Webster  as "virtuous, right and commendable; kind and benevolent."  Henry David Thoreau  was quoted as saying, "Goodness is the only investment that never fails."

A “good” person often has certain habits or characteristics that reflect their efforts to be a considerate individual who avoids harming others. While, again, these can vary from person to person and culture to culture, a few general examples of these traits can include the following.

The empathy definition in psychology is the ability to emotionally understand another person's feelings by imagining yourself in their position. An empathetic person tends to be able to express an understanding of how others feel and treat them accordingly.

An individual who wants to be a good person might also strive to be honest with themselves and others. Dishonesty can damage trust between two people and potentially lead to distance or conflict within a relationship.

Someone who practices the principle of fairness might aim to be aware of their biases and avoid letting those negatively affect others. This could manifest as a belief in justice or equality, for example. 

Responsibility

Responsibility or accountability for one’s actions is also considered by many to be a sign of a good person. It usually involves an effort to make decisions that aren’t harmful to others and to take ownership of them if they are.

Why being a good person matters

One’s motivation for being “good” can vary widely. Research suggests that altruism—or the act of showing selfless concern for the well-being of others— is a uniquely human trait , of which there are many examples. Biologically, evolutionarily, or on some other level, many may feel generally driven to be kind and not harmful—a trait that many people equate with being a good person. 

However, there are many other complex factors that go into how humans decide to behave, and our actions can have effects on many areas of our lives. If you’re in the process of deciding what values you want to live by, you might consider some of these potential outcomes of who you may choose to be. 

Effects on your career and opportunities

Your actions and behaviors help build your reputation which, among many other factors, can help to create the opportunities you encounter in life. Behaving in ways that are generally respectful of others may help others develop a positive opinion of you. This could lead to benefits in your career and other opportunities that may help you achieve what you’re looking for in life.

Effects on relationships

The way we behave can also impact how others see us and relate to us, which can affect our relationships overall. For instance, many people are looking for friends and romantic partners who are “good” people in that they’re honest, caring, respectful, etc. People who are looking for healthy, supportive relationships often tend to seek out others who make them feel safe rather than uneasy or disrespected.

Feeling a sense of purpose

Deciding on a set of values that you want to live by and then sticking to them as best you can may help give you a direction and a purpose in life. This may even correlate with less loneliness and better overall health.

Seeking support related to being a good person

The idea of being a “good” person can affect a person’s mental health in a variety of ways. For instance, a person might have trouble coping with mistakes they’ve made in the past and how they may have affected those around them. Or, they could hold themselves to an impossible standard of perfection, which could lead to feelings of depression or anxiety. If you’re looking for support in discovering your values or changing the way you relate to morality, a therapist may be able to help.

If you’re interested in therapy but prefer to receive this type of care from the comfort of home, you might try online therapy. In one study published in World Psychiatry, researchers examined the effectiveness of online therapy in treating a wide range of mental health disorders. Their research indicates that  online therapy can be as effective as face-to-face counseling in many cases, which reflects the similar findings of other studies as well. With a platform like BetterHelp , you can get matched with a licensed therapist who you can meet with via phone, video call, and/or in-app messaging. See below for client reviews of BetterHelp counselors.

Counselor reviews

"Michal has been very supportive. Her techniques are very handy and have really helped me switch my negative thoughts to positive ones. Looking forward to learning more from her to become a better version of myself. Thank you Michal."

"Krysten has been an immense help in dealing with and confronting my anger and depression issues. I started to notice immediate changes in my general disposition within a week of working with her. My friends and family have even said I seem less bitter and jaded. And the fact that I can communicate with her frequently has done wonders in keeping me on track and progressing forward. My time working with Krysten and being on BetterHelp has been a positive experience and done much more for me than traditional in-office therapy ever did."

How can you become a good person?

There isn’t a consistent definition of what makes a good person. Even rules that seem constant and rigid, like “Good people don’t hurt others,” can become flexible under the right conditions. For instance, most humans condemn murder and believe it is morally wrong, yet there are often exceptions that allow for taking a life in the case of self-defense or during war. 

Deciding what makes you a good person requires understanding your moral identity . What do you believe to be morally right? When can the rules be bent or broken? Do small actions, like holding the door open for someone, make you a good person, or does it take a more substantial effort, like volunteering for charity work?

Becoming a good person means understanding your moral code and improving yourself until your actions consistently reflect your values. While that journey is different for everybody, there are some common tips that may help you: 

  • Don’t make excuses. Becoming a good person is a personal responsibility, and no one can achieve your goal besides you. Be wary of pointing the finger at others; becoming a good person often means examining your mistakes and making peace with your shortcomings. 
  • Use honest and direct communication. Lies and deception are rarely seen as traits kind people possess. Learn to articulate your thoughts and feelings openly and honestly. 
  • Help others. Take time to assist others when you can; helping others through tough times will likely improve your reputation and self-perception. Good deeds and kindness are commonly considered a foundational part of being a good person. 
  • Become a good listener. Knowing how to listen actively can make it easier for you to understand and empathize with others. Empathy is commonly associated with goodness, and demonstrating empathy is likely an important skill to have. 
  • Always be respectful . Your words and actions should always demonstrate respect for the people around you and the environment that you’re in. Take time to learn how to control your negative emotions. You don’t have to agree with everything or appease everyone, but even when disagreeing, you should maintain a respectful tone and demeanor. 

What is the point of being a good person?

Philosophers have debated the reasons for being a good person for centuries. Today, there are several philosophical and sociological arguments that justify good behavior. One of the longest-running unsettled arguments is the egoism/altruism debate . The egoism/altruism debate examines what motivates humans to be good to each other.  

The altruism side of the argument asserts that humans have an intrinsic drive to help others. The existence of an empathetic connection between humans supports the altruism argument. For example, if a person comes across someone who is injured, they are likely to try to assist them, probably because they empathize with their position. In the altruism argument, empathy motivates good and helpful behavior, allowing for self-sacrifice with no prospect of receiving a reward . 

In contrast, the egoism argument suggests that people tend to be motivated to help others for self-serving reasons. It may elevate their status in society, make it more likely they can receive help from others, or put others in their debt. Furthermore, some proponents of the egoist perspective assert that even when someone helps another with no intention of a reward, the warm feeling of satisfaction that commonly comes after helping someone else may serve as its own reward. From an egoist perspective, helping behavior is inherently self-serving, no matter whether an external reward is expected. 

How do you feel like a good person?

Feeling like a good person is often related to self-improvement and self-acceptance. You will likely feel good when your behaviors align with your core values. No matter what your exact definition of a “good person” may be, if your actions match your beliefs, you will likely feel like a good person. 

You may want to consider building your self-esteem and recognizing your strengths. You likely have much to offer the world around you, and recognizing your inherent goodness can help you feel better about yourself. Self-examination may also be helpful. Taking time to analyze your understanding of what is morally right may offer insight into how you can be a good person on your terms. 

How can I be a better person and happy?

Self-improvement is likely one of the most critical steps toward becoming happier. People with good personalities who understand their place in the world and surround themselves with a support network tend to be much happier than those who do not reach those goals. Achieving those goals requires committing to self-improvement and growth. It requires a willingness to examine your moral identity and develop an understanding of how you conceptualize the difference between good and bad.

Many people begin by identifying their strengths and improving their self-esteem . You likely have strengths to offer, and utilizing your natural strengths can make becoming a better person much easier. Early in your self-improvement process, you should decide on reasonable goals that will continually make you a better person. Goal-setting can be challenging ; it is important that you stay within your limits and grow into a better person at a reasonable pace. 

How can I improve myself every day?

Committing to daily positive change is likely a worthwhile goal. Improving yourself daily lets you take small steps towards a larger personal goal. Many people find setting both long-term and short-term goals to be helpful. Long-term goals should represent relatively large aspirations related to your self-improvement, and short-term goals should represent steps you can take to achieve your larger goals. 

Ensuring that your long-term and short-term goals are reasonably achievable is important. Your goals shouldn’t take so little effort that you don’t have to work to attain them, but they shouldn’t be so hard that you risk burnout trying to accomplish them. Appropriately balancing your goals is likely to help you stay on track and motivated as you incorporate daily self-improvement into your life.  

How can I change myself to be better?

Bettering yourself requires time, effort, and dedication. When you set goals and work toward them, you are physically changing the pathways in your brain , which requires consistent effort and repetition. If you are trying to rid yourself of bad habits or develop better ones, you may need to commit days, weeks, or months to the process. That is why choosing achievable goals is so important; if you go too long without reaching a goal, you may experience depleted willpower and burnout. 

When deciding your goals and how you want to achieve them, it may be helpful to study your successes. You likely have many strengths you can leverage on your self-improvement journey, some of which you may not realize you have. Consider paying close attention to the positive feedback you receive from others. 

Reflect on what strengths are apparent and how you can use those good qualities to achieve your goals. If feedback from others in your life is sparse, consider asking those around you for feedback directly. Don’t expect everything to be positive; you should be prepared for some (hopefully constructive) criticism. You can reflect on the criticism, too, especially if it conflicts with your goals, but be sure to come back around to the positive. 

How do I get better at something?

No matter what skill you are trying to develop, getting better at something requires willpower and persistence. Self-improvement requires actions that physically change your brain as your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors change. Sticking to your goals is arguably the most challenging part of getting better at something, especially at the beginning of the process. 

Here are some basic steps to help you remain committed to your self-improvement journey: 

  • Develop a growth mindset. A person with a growth mindset sees failure as a necessary part of success. You may want to work on accepting the trials and tribulations of personal growth. Doing so may make it easier to avoid burnout and stay committed to your goals. 
  • Develop refined goals. Goals that are too broad (e.g., “I want to get better”) are difficult to achieve. It is important that your goals be attainable . Each time you achieve one of your goals, the reward center in your brain reinforces the behavior that got you there. Refined goals are balanced; they aren’t so easy that you don’t have to work to achieve them and aren’t so hard that you burn out trying to attain them. 
  • Keep your focus. It is easy to get distracted from whatever improvement goals you have. Vices and bad habits are potential distractions, but so are the demands of daily life. Other people’s poor behavior can distract you as well. Consider learning to forgive people quickly, for your sake, instead of theirs.  Make sure you are reminding yourself of your goals and tracking your progress daily. 
  • Maintain accountability. Monitoring your progress towards your goals lets you analyze how your journey is coming along. If there are areas where you are struggling to progress, take time to figure out where the challenges are and how you can overcome them. Take responsibility for your own progress; only you can make yourself a better person. 

How do you keep growing in life?

Consistent personal growth requires dedication and commitment. As you become a better person, you will need to identify new growth areas and goals to move forward. It is likely prudent to engage in self-evaluation regularly. Take time to learn yourself, understand your moral identity , and determine which goals you should set next in your improvement journey. 

It may also be helpful to  seek feedback from others. Friends, family, and coworkers can all be valuable sources of insight into your strengths and weaknesses. When seeking feedback from others, ask that they be open and honest with you. This means that you will need to prepare yourself to receive negative as well as positive feedback. Although criticism can be unpleasant - even if it’s constructive - listening to negative feedback can help illustrate areas for personal development, while positive improvement-oriented feedback is likely to improve your performance overall.

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8 Tips to Write Better Essays in English

Learning a foreign language is an overwhelming experience, especially if it’s one of the most widely spoken languages in the world – English.

Many people are under the impression that learning to read and speak in English is enough without realizing that written English skills are an equally vital asset to have.

From improving academics to boosting career prospects – the ability to write in English not only lets you communicate and express yourself better in today’s globalized world but also makes you more confident.

An effective way to improve your writing skills is to write essays. Wondering where to begin? We bring you eight useful tips to write better essays in English.

1. Keep a Vocabulary Notebook

Using the right vocabulary is an essential element of writing essays. When you make efforts to expand your vocabulary, you will be able to pick accurate words to take your writing to the next level.

Instead of coming across new words and forgetting about them, it’s a good idea to make a note of them in your vocabulary notebook. Doing this helps you remember the meanings of new words and you can also refer to it while writing essays.

So, give yourself a target to learn at least ten new words every day, which you can jot down in your diary and take baby steps in building a strong vocabulary.

2. Refer to Credible Sources

Research forms the first step in writing any kind of essay. The stronger your research, the better is the quality of your essay.

At a time when we have access to a wide range of data, it’s important to evaluate research sources carefully and only refer to credible ones. For example, Wikipedia is not a reliable source and should not be attributed to while writing essays.

Take the effort to read through published journals, research studies, scholarly papers, academic databases, and encyclopedias published within the last 10-15 years. It’s also important to assess the credibility of the author while evaluating the source.

3. Draft a Basic Outline

Once you’ve done your research, don’t rush to write. Take a moment to draft a basic outline for your essay and organize your research and findings.

“Is that necessary,” you ask? Very much.

Working on an outline lets you approach the essay in an organized manner. It serves as the skeleton of your paper while ensuring you’re not missing out on any information and that your points flow logically.

Most essays are categorized into – introduction, body, and conclusion.

The introduction is where you introduce the topic and give context. The body paragraphs need to include your arguments and research methodology (if any). The conclusion needs to reiterate the thesis statement and tie all the points together.

4. Hook the Reader

With attention spans getting shorter with time, it’s become all the more important to start with a bang and hook the reader from the beginning to ensure they are invested in your writing.

Essay hooks refer to the first one or two sentences of your essay which have the power to make or break the reader’s interest. The key is to write a hook that grabs the reader’s attention and reels them in.

From an alarming statistic and relevant quote to using humor and asking a rhetoric question – there are various tactics you can employ to keep the reader engaged.

If you’re unable to think of an impactful essay hook, don’t waste too much time on it. Finish the rest of your essay and come back to write a compelling hook later.

5. Use the Pomodoro Technique

It’s not easy to write an essay in one go, especially if it’s not in your first language.

A smart way to approach essay writing is to use the Pomodoro technique. This technique asks you to set a timer for 25 minutes to finish your task in question and then take a 5-minute break. After four cycles of repeating this, you get to take an extended 20-minute break.

So, start with breaking down the assignment into smaller tasks such as research, outlining, writing the different paragraphs, citing references and proofreading. You can then set the timer, start working on the essay as per the technique and track your progress.

Using this technique keeps distractions at bay and helps you stay more focused.

6. Pay Attention to Grammar Rules

You may raise interesting points in your essay, but poor grammar disrupts the reading experience and should be avoided at all costs.

Be careful when adding punctuations, check your sentence formations, avoid passive voice as much as possible and know the difference between adjectives, adverbs, nouns and verbs.

So  abide by grammar rules to deliver a well-written and cohesive essay.

7. Write with Clarity

You might be tempted to use complex metaphors and jargons to impress the reader, but the truth is, none of that guarantees “good” writing.

One of the most important ingredients of effective writing is clarity. You don’t want to leave the reader confused and puzzled after reading your essay. So, use simple words, stop beating around the bush and explain concepts with the help of examples because clear writing always wins.

8. Reread the Essay

Finally, make it a point to proofread your essay (multiple times) to ensure you have covered all the aspects, cited references accurately and not made any silly errors.

It’s a good idea to read your essay out loud so you’re able to identify errors and awkwardly formed sentences with ease. You should also get a friend or family member to read your essay, to spot mistakes or discrepancies that you may have overlooked.

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35 comments

Thanks a lot all we can derive from reading is the technique to write with clarity, good research and involvement of readers in writing.

Thank a lot dear EnglishClub, it’s help me a lot

I think it is very good site for learn essay writing

As a teacher trainer this contribution is helpful

Thanks for the tips! I’ll have an essay tomorrow and this will surlely prepare me!

Thank you so much

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thank you so much for your amazing informations

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Nice one but I don’t understand yet

Knowledge supporter is who u are, keep d good work nd ur reward is from God nd thanks.

thanks alot for your tips…your tips will help me alot while examss!!!

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My hobby is home garden

ur intentinon and thoughts was very nce its useful to somny pepole to learn english tysomuch adela belin

Thanks you for helping

This did help a lot! Thank you very much 🥰

Good tips, I should give it a try, after all, we all improve by exercising hard so I’ll just do the same thing, but right now I gotta focus on what matters, and what I need now is to read as much as I can to know how to spell the words right. Is grammar so important in this task, I mean can’t I just pick the things up because of my experience in listening skill ?

Thanks for the information!

This is a nice explanation ,,,,,proud of you!

Is very interesting for me I really apreicete you help

Thanks so much for these useful tips!! Now, I need to start preparing my essay (“starting” has been always the stone on my way :$)

Please, what is the difference between an essay and an article?

Are they same?

Thanks in advance,

Thanks & best regards English Club

Helpful updated tips to share with our students!! thankssss

I want to know if it is only at the University or if we may take the course online.

Thank you verry much for important advices

thank for your key points, this is really helpful

Thank you and best wishes,

Very pragmatic and helpful essay. Thank so much English club

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Ronald E. Riggio Ph.D.

How Can You Tell If You Are a Good Person?

Four virtues are the key. which do you possess.

Posted October 14, 2016 | Reviewed by Ekua Hagan

There are many ways to define what it means to be a good person. One definition of “good” is that you follow the rules — you don’t break the law, commit crimes, lie, or cheat.

Another way to determine who is a good person is to ask others — friends, family members, coworkers — people who know you and can “vouch” for your good qualities and character.

Another, more abstract, way to define goodness is that, at the end of your days, you leave the world a better place — you have done good deeds, saved lives (or souls), raised good children, made others happy, and the list goes on.

An approach that we’ve used in our research on “good” leaders stems from the ancient Greek philosophers and emphasizes character. According to Aristotle, there are four cardinal virtues that determine a person of good character. So, an easy way to get on the path to “goodness” is to practice the four virtues.

Here are the four cardinal virtues, their definitions, and how you can tell if you are leading a virtuous life.

1. Prudence. Another term for prudence is “ wisdom ,” but it involves being objective and reflective when deciding on courses of action. Prudent individuals learn to avoid making bad decisions. They value and learn from others. To assess how prudent you are, consider this:

  • Do you make life decisions by studying information, listening to the advice of trusted friends and relations, and “fact-checking?"
  • Do you choose courses of action that are based on what you “ought” to do? For example, would your parents approve of your course of action?

2. Temperance. This virtue focuses on moderation — not being too extreme. It involves controlling your passions and not acting out.

  • Do you manage your emotions, particularly the “dark” ones (i.e., anger , despair)?
  • Do you avoid the lure of power, wealth, and do you have good perspective on your own accomplishments (i.e., not have an overinflated ego)?

3. Justice. This virtue deals with being fair and respecting others.

  • Do you treat others fairly, giving them credit when credit is due?
  • Do you respect the rights of others? Do you treat others as you would want to be treated?

4. Fortitude (or Courage). This involves having the courage to stand up for what you believe in — to do the right thing.

  • Do you intervene when you see others being mistreated or abused?
  • Do you have the courage to take responsibility for your own mistakes and failures?
  • Do you have a moral compass that you follow and do you have the courage to do what that moral compass tells you to do?

Although our work involves trying to help leaders assess and build their character via the cardinal virtues, these are important for everyone, not just leaders. Moreover, parents should foster these virtues in themselves and in their children. Focusing on these virtues, checking your own behavior, and working to become more virtuous in all areas of life is the key to becoming a good person.

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Riggio, R.E., Zhu, W., Reina, C., & Maroosis, J. (2010). Virtue-based measurement of ethical leadership: The Leadership Virtues Questionnaire. Consulting Psychology Journal, 62(4), 235-250.

Ronald E. Riggio Ph.D.

Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D. , is the Henry R. Kravis Professor of Leadership and Organizational Psychology at Claremont McKenna College.

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Essay on Qualities of a Successful Person

Students are often asked to write an essay on Qualities of a Successful Person in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Qualities of a Successful Person

Introduction.

A successful person is not defined by wealth alone. Success is about achieving personal goals, being happy, and contributing to society. Let’s explore some qualities of a successful person.

Hard work is crucial. Successful people understand that effort is required to achieve goals. They are not afraid of challenges or failures.

Resilience is another key. Success often comes after numerous failures. Successful people learn from their mistakes and keep trying.

Positive Attitude

A positive attitude helps in overcoming obstacles. Successful people are optimistic and believe in their abilities.

These qualities are essential for success. Cultivate them to achieve your life goals.

250 Words Essay on Qualities of a Successful Person

Success is a subjective term, varying from person to person. However, certain qualities are universally recognized as key indicators of a successful individual. These include resilience, self-awareness, and adaptability among others.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from failures and setbacks. Successful people are not immune to failures, but they possess the mental fortitude to learn from these experiences and continue forward. They view obstacles not as insurmountable barriers, but as opportunities for growth and learning.

Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is another hallmark of success. It involves understanding one’s strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and motivations. Successful people are introspective, continually examining their actions and decisions. This self-awareness allows them to make informed choices, align their actions with their values, and continuously improve themselves.

Adaptability

In a rapidly changing world, adaptability is a crucial trait for success. Successful people are open to new ideas and are able to adjust their strategies and plans to suit changing circumstances. They are not rigid in their thinking or approach, but rather, they embrace change and innovation.

While there are many qualities that can contribute to a person’s success, resilience, self-awareness, and adaptability stand out as particularly important. These qualities enable individuals to navigate the challenges of life, learn from their experiences, and continually adapt to new circumstances. Therefore, cultivating these qualities is a worthwhile endeavor for anyone seeking to achieve success.

500 Words Essay on Qualities of a Successful Person

Success is a multifaceted concept, often defined differently by different people. Some perceive it as financial prosperity, while others view it as achieving personal goals or attaining inner peace. Regardless of the definition, there are certain qualities that successful people universally share. This essay will delve into some of these qualities.

Self-Discipline

One of the most important qualities of a successful person is self-discipline. It is the ability to control one’s impulses, emotions, desires, and behavior. It is what separates the successful from the unsuccessful. Successful people understand the importance of consistency and persistence in their actions. They do not let immediate gratification distract them from their long-term goals.

Resilience is another critical quality. Success is not always a smooth journey; it is often fraught with failures and setbacks. Successful people are those who can withstand these challenges and bounce back stronger. They view failures not as the end but as stepping stones towards success. They learn from their mistakes and use them to improve and grow.

Successful people are invariably passionate about what they do. This passion fuels their drive and determination to succeed. It gives them the energy to put in the hard work and the patience to wait for the results. They love what they do, and this love propels them towards their goals.

Curiosity and Continuous Learning

Successful individuals are inherently curious. They have an insatiable desire to learn and grow. They understand that the world is constantly evolving, and to stay ahead, they must continually update their knowledge and skills. They are open to new ideas and perspectives, and they actively seek opportunities for learning and development.

Integrity is a fundamental quality of successful people. They are honest and ethical in their dealings. They believe in fairness and justice. They uphold their values and principles, even when it is difficult or inconvenient. Their actions are guided by a strong moral compass, and they earn respect and trust through their integrity.

Empathy and Emotional Intelligence

Successful people have high emotional intelligence. They are aware of their emotions and those of others. They can manage their emotions effectively and use them to guide their actions. They are empathetic and understanding, which helps them build strong relationships and networks.

In conclusion, success is not merely about wealth or fame. It is about fulfilling one’s potential and making a positive impact. The qualities of self-discipline, resilience, passion, curiosity, integrity, and emotional intelligence are key to achieving this success. They are not innate but can be developed and nurtured over time. As we strive for success, we should endeavor to cultivate these qualities within ourselves.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

  • Essay on Qualities of a Good Person
  • Essay on My Ideal Person
  • Essay on How to Help Physically Challenged Persons

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

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  • English Essay for Students – Importance of good manners

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Essay on Importance of Good Manners

How a person behaves towards the other can be termed ‘manner’. Manners play an important part in everyone’s life. Someone’s manners can tell us so many things about that person, like their background, their education etc. But ‘Manner’ is a general term, that is to say, it does not necessarily mean that manners are always good, though they always should be good, if not cultivated properly they can be bad, which is generally termed as ‘bad – Manners’. And therefore, manners, that is to say, ‘Good Manners’ are cultivated in every child from childhood.

The learning of manners starts from the home since parents are the first teacher of the child, the parents also become the first to teach manners to the child. But one thing to understand here is that the mind of a human is receptive, and hence we, the human, receive or rather learn and grasp so many things that happen in our surroundings. And this surrounding also up to an extent plays a role in the cultivation of manners in the child.

Hence, good surroundings cultivate good manners and vice-versa.

Afterwards, the parents and the surrounding school and teachers play an important part in teaching good manners to the students. For instance, the students must greet the teacher good morning, or good afternoon (according to the time) whenever the teacher enters the classroom, also the use of phrases such as “may I come in” and “may I go” are taught to be used in the school. And these phrases remain with the students for the rest of their life.

Understanding Good Manners

The one thing to understand here is that good manners are not formalities, neither are they social protocol or the rules, which one has to follow to avoid the fine. But it is something that comes from the inside most naturally and by itself, it is something that should not be forced or faked. The way in which we want others to behave with us is also how they want us to behave to them, it can be the simplest way to understand good manners.

People with good manners are liked by everyone, while on the other hand, those who do not possess good manners are more often than not despised by others. It does not matter how wealthy one is, how well educated one is, or how great marks one managed to score, if the person does not possess good manners people are not going to admire him. But if the person knows how to act and behave with others, then everyone likes that person. Also, good manners turn into good nature, and a person who has a good nature is liked by everyone.

Writing an Essay on the Importance of Good Manners

As discussed, good manners are important in life, writing about the same helps it in a better manner. And hence students are required to write an essay on the importance of good manners. Because for writing an essay students have to think about it, and therefore it also in a way allows the students to check their manners.

But one thing is also important which is, essay writing should be good, and hence Vedantu provides the essay on the “importance of good manners” for free to guide the students in writing the same.

From our childhood, good manners have been cultivated as a major part of every being's life. Being a human it plays an important role in every one day to day life. Our parents nurtured us since our childhood with good mannerism, good behavior and discipline. These three features are a vital part of good manners. Manners either its bad or good can't be imposed to the child, some basically inherited from their parents and other social mannerism etiquettes will be taught by parents itself at home first, since a home is the first school of any child to start its learning process where parents both mother and father plays an important role in developing good social etiquette or good manners to enhance the child’s upbringing in a good shape. 

Good manners has its own definition. If a person needs to be liked by someone then he or she needs to act like a good person with good behavior or manners. No matter what level of studies you did, either highly qualified or simply 10th passed out doesn’t make a difference if a person knows how to act or behave in front of others. 

Respect and courtesy are the major assets in developing good manners. One should be polite and courteous to others, even while communicating we need to be kind, calm and patient enough to listen to others, which means he or she should be a good listener. These qualities even makes life problems more simple and makes the person think more broadly.   

Types of Good Manners:  

Here are some specific mentioned good manners which helps a person in enhancing

Speak politely to others

Say thank you always wherever needed in conversation.

Open doors for others.

 Maintain eye contact while shaking hands. 

Stand up while elders enter the room. 

Polite phone manners.

Serve people when any guest enters your home. 

Highlights of Good Manners

Good manners can differentiate between in two aspects that is one in school and other at-home itself.

At Home: Home is the first place where child traits develop from, the parent is the first teacher who makes them (child) understand the differences between good and bad manners. Keeping in mind future aspects, a child needs to develop traits as polite, calm, and patient. Since childhood, we have taught of maintaining hygiene habit after having lunch or dinner, while eating or drinking not to make bad sound, say THANKYOU and SORRY are the important words to use while making in conversation, keeping own belonging in exact place after taking out from the place, brushing off teeth and bath daily, do not disturb others while working something important task, always take permission for picking up thing while visiting any neighbor place, always mention PLEASE word for requesting or asking for something and so on.

There are various add on traits which give support in child mannerism to act as disciplined and good nature human beings. These are basic traits and habits which a child develops from childhood by learning and observing the parents. 

At School: School manners consist of some different patterns of ethics that need to be followed by the child. Respecting teachers is the most important quality of good manners, here (School) environment also develops hygiene habits as such maintain a distance of put hands while sneezing or coughing, to carry a handkerchief, washing off hands after having lunch, always asks permission to the teacher for going to washrooms, daily completion of homework, maintain focus in class, talk politely to classmates and obey class monitor or teachers instructions, not to push children while standing in a queue. These are some major qualities that help children in enhancing good manners in all aspects.

Good Manners vs Discipline

There is a thin line between these two words which makes a big difference, generally, we cannot identify these differences. Good manners is completely associated with a  person's act or behavior such as politeness, patience, good listener, courtesy, helping nature and so on are some of the traits that signify good manners. Whereas Discipline describes a person's own set of rules and standards which he/ she follows throughout their life for example if a person is a smoker but here his discipline says not to smoke in front of parents or any elders this follows as same by any means. 

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FAQs on English Essay for Students – Importance of good manners

1. What is Good Manners? 

Good manners are expressed by our behavior and implemented on others. Being polite and courteous is good manners. The cultured and well-mannered person was always demanded in the society and appreciated by all. And the person who doesn’t know how to behave and act to others will not be liked by anyone and he or she loses its respect. This quality (good manners) has been developed since childhood to take firm roots. 

2. What are the Advantages of Good Manners? 

Good manners make a person civilized to live in society, it maintains peaceful relations among people and builds up social relations between person to person.

3. What Types of Good Manners Child Learns in School? 

To say PLEASE

Say EXCUSE ME

Always keep a good smile on your face while talking. 

Maintain eye contact while asking any question to the teacher 

Shows respect to others.

Always encourage classmates in any difficult task performance. 

Helping classmates. 

Building up communication with others and classmates as well. 

 4. What are the basic behaviors which are regarded as good manners?

There is much such behavior, below given are some of them.

Greeting others good night, good day, good morning etc, according to the time.

Thanking others when someone helps us.

Saying phrases like “you are most welcome” or “mention not” when someone thanks us after receiving our help.

Serving the guests at home.

Maintaining eye contact when someone is talking with us.

Behaving politely and respectfully on the phone.

Always be polite and humble to others.

The list is endless, but the first and foremost thing is that it has to come from the inside by itself.

5. Why should I use the essay on “the importance of good manners” that Vedantu provides?

Vedantu believes in delivering top-quality content to all the students and to fulfill this promise the team of expert teachers at Vedantu works very hard to provide the students with the best material. And the same goes for the essay on the importance of good manners. Also, this essay is written in such a manner that it exactly matches the level of students, the sentence formation, the vocabulary use, everything is chosen by considering the level of students. Last but not least, it is available for a free of cost download.

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good person essay in english

If you need help with “ write my UK essay ” for an English literature class, it can seem difficult, but with the right approach, it can be an enjoyable and rewarding experience. Whether you’re analyzing a novel, a play, or a collection of poems, the key is to understand the work deeply and convey your insights in a clear and compelling way. In this post, we’ll explore some practical tips and strategies to help you write a solid English literature essay.

Read and Understand the Work Thoroughly

The first and most crucial step is to read the literary work carefully and attentively, even if you’re considering using best essay writing services . Don’t just skim through it; take your time and immerse yourself in the text. Pay attention to the characters, plot, themes, symbols, and literary devices used by the author. Make notes, highlight passages, and jot down your initial thoughts and reactions.

Develop a Clear Thesis Statement

Every good essay needs a strong thesis statement. This is the central argument or claim that you’ll be making about the literary work. Your thesis should be specific, debatable, and supported by evidence from the text. Avoid making broad, vague statements; instead, strive for a focused and well-defined thesis that will guide your analysis.

Organize Your Ideas

Once you have a clear thesis statement, it’s time to organize your ideas. Create an outline that will serve as a roadmap for your essay. Decide on the main points you want to make and the evidence you’ll use to support them. Group related ideas together and arrange them in a logical order.

Introduce the Work and Your Thesis

Your introduction should grab the reader’s attention and provide some context about the literary work you’re analyzing. Give a brief summary of the plot or main themes, but avoid retelling the entire story. Then, clearly state your thesis statement and let the reader know what to expect from your essay.

Use Textual Evidence to Support Your Claims

In a literature essay, your arguments should be backed up by evidence from the text. Cite specific passages, quotes, or examples that illustrate your points. Don’t just summarize the plot; analyze and interpret the evidence to show how it supports your thesis.

Tip: When quoting from the text, be sure to properly introduce and integrate the quotes into your own writing.

Analyze Literary Devices and Techniques

Great literature is often rich in literary devices and techniques, such as symbolism, imagery, metaphor, and foreshadowing. Explore how the author uses these devices to convey deeper meanings and enhance the overall reading experience. Analyzing these elements can add depth and sophistication to your essay.

Consider Different Perspectives and Interpretations

While developing your analysis, it’s important to consider alternative perspectives and interpretations. Acknowledge counterarguments or differing viewpoints, and then explain why your interpretation is more compelling or valid. This shows that you’ve thought critically about the work and strengthened your own argument.

For example:

Some critics argue that the protagonist’s actions are driven by selfishness, but a closer examination of the text suggests that her motivations are more complex and rooted in a desire for personal growth.

Provide a Clear and Compelling Conclusion

Your conclusion should do more than simply restate your thesis; it should synthesize your main points and leave the reader with a lasting impression. Reflect on the broader implications or significance of your analysis, and consider how it contributes to a deeper understanding of the literary work or the human experience.

Key Takeaways:

  • Clearly restate your thesis
  • Summarize your main points
  • Explore the broader implications of your analysis
  • Leave the reader with a thought-provoking or insightful final statement

Edit and Proofread Carefully

Once you’ve finished your first draft, take a step back and review your essay with a critical eye. Check for clarity, coherence, and logical flow. Ensure that your arguments are well-supported and that your writing is free of grammatical errors, typos, and other technical issues.

Seek Feedback and Revise

Finally, don’t be afraid to seek feedback from others. Share your essay with a trusted friend, classmate, or instructor, and be open to constructive criticism. Use this feedback to refine and improve your essay before submitting it.

Writing a good English literature essay requires careful planning, deep analysis, and effective communication. By following these tips and strategies, you’ll be well on your way to producing a compelling and insightful essay that showcases your understanding of the literary work and your ability to engage with it critically.

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Table of contents

The basics of essay structure, chronological structure, compare-and-contrast structure, problems-methods-solutions structure, signposting to clarify your structure, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about essay structure.

There are two main things to keep in mind when working on your essay structure: making sure to include the right information in each part, and deciding how you’ll organize the information within the body.

Parts of an essay

The three parts that make up all essays are described in the table below.

Order of information

You’ll also have to consider how to present information within the body. There are a few general principles that can guide you here.

The first is that your argument should move from the simplest claim to the most complex . The body of a good argumentative essay often begins with simple and widely accepted claims, and then moves towards more complex and contentious ones.

For example, you might begin by describing a generally accepted philosophical concept, and then apply it to a new topic. The grounding in the general concept will allow the reader to understand your unique application of it.

The second principle is that background information should appear towards the beginning of your essay . General background is presented in the introduction. If you have additional background to present, this information will usually come at the start of the body.

The third principle is that everything in your essay should be relevant to the thesis . Ask yourself whether each piece of information advances your argument or provides necessary background. And make sure that the text clearly expresses each piece of information’s relevance.

The sections below present several organizational templates for essays: the chronological approach, the compare-and-contrast approach, and the problems-methods-solutions approach.

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good person essay in english

The chronological approach (sometimes called the cause-and-effect approach) is probably the simplest way to structure an essay. It just means discussing events in the order in which they occurred, discussing how they are related (i.e. the cause and effect involved) as you go.

A chronological approach can be useful when your essay is about a series of events. Don’t rule out other approaches, though—even when the chronological approach is the obvious one, you might be able to bring out more with a different structure.

Explore the tabs below to see a general template and a specific example outline from an essay on the invention of the printing press.

  • Thesis statement
  • Discussion of event/period
  • Consequences
  • Importance of topic
  • Strong closing statement
  • Claim that the printing press marks the end of the Middle Ages
  • Background on the low levels of literacy before the printing press
  • Thesis statement: The invention of the printing press increased circulation of information in Europe, paving the way for the Reformation
  • High levels of illiteracy in medieval Europe
  • Literacy and thus knowledge and education were mainly the domain of religious and political elites
  • Consequence: this discouraged political and religious change
  • Invention of the printing press in 1440 by Johannes Gutenberg
  • Implications of the new technology for book production
  • Consequence: Rapid spread of the technology and the printing of the Gutenberg Bible
  • Trend for translating the Bible into vernacular languages during the years following the printing press’s invention
  • Luther’s own translation of the Bible during the Reformation
  • Consequence: The large-scale effects the Reformation would have on religion and politics
  • Summarize the history described
  • Stress the significance of the printing press to the events of this period

Essays with two or more main subjects are often structured around comparing and contrasting . For example, a literary analysis essay might compare two different texts, and an argumentative essay might compare the strengths of different arguments.

There are two main ways of structuring a compare-and-contrast essay: the alternating method, and the block method.

Alternating

In the alternating method, each paragraph compares your subjects in terms of a specific point of comparison. These points of comparison are therefore what defines each paragraph.

The tabs below show a general template for this structure, and a specific example for an essay comparing and contrasting distance learning with traditional classroom learning.

  • Synthesis of arguments
  • Topical relevance of distance learning in lockdown
  • Increasing prevalence of distance learning over the last decade
  • Thesis statement: While distance learning has certain advantages, it introduces multiple new accessibility issues that must be addressed for it to be as effective as classroom learning
  • Classroom learning: Ease of identifying difficulties and privately discussing them
  • Distance learning: Difficulty of noticing and unobtrusively helping
  • Classroom learning: Difficulties accessing the classroom (disability, distance travelled from home)
  • Distance learning: Difficulties with online work (lack of tech literacy, unreliable connection, distractions)
  • Classroom learning: Tends to encourage personal engagement among students and with teacher, more relaxed social environment
  • Distance learning: Greater ability to reach out to teacher privately
  • Sum up, emphasize that distance learning introduces more difficulties than it solves
  • Stress the importance of addressing issues with distance learning as it becomes increasingly common
  • Distance learning may prove to be the future, but it still has a long way to go

In the block method, each subject is covered all in one go, potentially across multiple paragraphs. For example, you might write two paragraphs about your first subject and then two about your second subject, making comparisons back to the first.

The tabs again show a general template, followed by another essay on distance learning, this time with the body structured in blocks.

  • Point 1 (compare)
  • Point 2 (compare)
  • Point 3 (compare)
  • Point 4 (compare)
  • Advantages: Flexibility, accessibility
  • Disadvantages: Discomfort, challenges for those with poor internet or tech literacy
  • Advantages: Potential for teacher to discuss issues with a student in a separate private call
  • Disadvantages: Difficulty of identifying struggling students and aiding them unobtrusively, lack of personal interaction among students
  • Advantages: More accessible to those with low tech literacy, equality of all sharing one learning environment
  • Disadvantages: Students must live close enough to attend, commutes may vary, classrooms not always accessible for disabled students
  • Advantages: Ease of picking up on signs a student is struggling, more personal interaction among students
  • Disadvantages: May be harder for students to approach teacher privately in person to raise issues

An essay that concerns a specific problem (practical or theoretical) may be structured according to the problems-methods-solutions approach.

This is just what it sounds like: You define the problem, characterize a method or theory that may solve it, and finally analyze the problem, using this method or theory to arrive at a solution. If the problem is theoretical, the solution might be the analysis you present in the essay itself; otherwise, you might just present a proposed solution.

The tabs below show a template for this structure and an example outline for an essay about the problem of fake news.

  • Introduce the problem
  • Provide background
  • Describe your approach to solving it
  • Define the problem precisely
  • Describe why it’s important
  • Indicate previous approaches to the problem
  • Present your new approach, and why it’s better
  • Apply the new method or theory to the problem
  • Indicate the solution you arrive at by doing so
  • Assess (potential or actual) effectiveness of solution
  • Describe the implications
  • Problem: The growth of “fake news” online
  • Prevalence of polarized/conspiracy-focused news sources online
  • Thesis statement: Rather than attempting to stamp out online fake news through social media moderation, an effective approach to combating it must work with educational institutions to improve media literacy
  • Definition: Deliberate disinformation designed to spread virally online
  • Popularization of the term, growth of the phenomenon
  • Previous approaches: Labeling and moderation on social media platforms
  • Critique: This approach feeds conspiracies; the real solution is to improve media literacy so users can better identify fake news
  • Greater emphasis should be placed on media literacy education in schools
  • This allows people to assess news sources independently, rather than just being told which ones to trust
  • This is a long-term solution but could be highly effective
  • It would require significant organization and investment, but would equip people to judge news sources more effectively
  • Rather than trying to contain the spread of fake news, we must teach the next generation not to fall for it

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Signposting means guiding the reader through your essay with language that describes or hints at the structure of what follows.  It can help you clarify your structure for yourself as well as helping your reader follow your ideas.

The essay overview

In longer essays whose body is split into multiple named sections, the introduction often ends with an overview of the rest of the essay. This gives a brief description of the main idea or argument of each section.

The overview allows the reader to immediately understand what will be covered in the essay and in what order. Though it describes what  comes later in the text, it is generally written in the present tense . The following example is from a literary analysis essay on Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein .

Transitions

Transition words and phrases are used throughout all good essays to link together different ideas. They help guide the reader through your text, and an essay that uses them effectively will be much easier to follow.

Various different relationships can be expressed by transition words, as shown in this example.

Because Hitler failed to respond to the British ultimatum, France and the UK declared war on Germany. Although it was an outcome the Allies had hoped to avoid, they were prepared to back up their ultimatum in order to combat the existential threat posed by the Third Reich.

Transition sentences may be included to transition between different paragraphs or sections of an essay. A good transition sentence moves the reader on to the next topic while indicating how it relates to the previous one.

… Distance learning, then, seems to improve accessibility in some ways while representing a step backwards in others.

However , considering the issue of personal interaction among students presents a different picture.

If you want to know more about AI tools , college essays , or fallacies make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples or go directly to our tools!

  • Ad hominem fallacy
  • Post hoc fallacy
  • Appeal to authority fallacy
  • False cause fallacy
  • Sunk cost fallacy

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  • Write a College Essay
  • Write a Diversity Essay
  • College Essay Format & Structure
  • Comparing and Contrasting in an Essay

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The structure of an essay is divided into an introduction that presents your topic and thesis statement , a body containing your in-depth analysis and arguments, and a conclusion wrapping up your ideas.

The structure of the body is flexible, but you should always spend some time thinking about how you can organize your essay to best serve your ideas.

An essay isn’t just a loose collection of facts and ideas. Instead, it should be centered on an overarching argument (summarized in your thesis statement ) that every part of the essay relates to.

The way you structure your essay is crucial to presenting your argument coherently. A well-structured essay helps your reader follow the logic of your ideas and understand your overall point.

Comparisons in essays are generally structured in one of two ways:

  • The alternating method, where you compare your subjects side by side according to one specific aspect at a time.
  • The block method, where you cover each subject separately in its entirety.

It’s also possible to combine both methods, for example by writing a full paragraph on each of your topics and then a final paragraph contrasting the two according to a specific metric.

You should try to follow your outline as you write your essay . However, if your ideas change or it becomes clear that your structure could be better, it’s okay to depart from your essay outline . Just make sure you know why you’re doing so.

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Caulfield, J. (2023, July 23). How to Structure an Essay | Tips & Templates. Scribbr. Retrieved April 2, 2024, from https://www.scribbr.com/academic-essay/essay-structure/

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good person essay in english

In the summer, in the south of France, my husband and I like to play, rather badly, the lottery. We take long, scorching walks to the village — gratuitous beauty, gratuitous heat — kicking up dust and languid debates over how we’d spend such an influx. I purchase scratch-offs, jackpot tickets, scraping the former with euro coins in restaurants too fine for that. I never cash them in, nor do I check the winning numbers. For I already won something like the lotto, with its gifts and its curses, when he married me.

He is ten years older than I am. I chose him on purpose, not by chance. As far as life decisions go, on balance, I recommend it.

When I was 20 and a junior at Harvard College, a series of great ironies began to mock me. I could study all I wanted, prove myself as exceptional as I liked, and still my fiercest advantage remained so universal it deflated my other plans. My youth. The newness of my face and body. Compellingly effortless; cruelly fleeting. I shared it with the average, idle young woman shrugging down the street. The thought, when it descended on me, jolted my perspective, the way a falling leaf can make you look up: I could diligently craft an ideal existence, over years and years of sleepless nights and industry. Or I could just marry it early.

So naturally I began to lug a heavy suitcase of books each Saturday to the Harvard Business School to work on my Nabokov paper. In one cavernous, well-appointed room sat approximately 50 of the planet’s most suitable bachelors. I had high breasts, most of my eggs, plausible deniability when it came to purity, a flush ponytail, a pep in my step that had yet to run out. Apologies to Progress, but older men still desired those things.

I could not understand why my female classmates did not join me, given their intelligence. Each time I reconsidered the project, it struck me as more reasonable. Why ignore our youth when it amounted to a superpower? Why assume the burdens of womanhood, its too-quick-to-vanish upper hand, but not its brief benefits at least? Perhaps it came easier to avoid the topic wholesale than to accept that women really do have a tragically short window of power, and reason enough to take advantage of that fact while they can. As for me, I liked history, Victorian novels, knew of imminent female pitfalls from all the books I’d read: vampiric boyfriends; labor, at the office and in the hospital, expected simultaneously; a decline in status as we aged, like a looming eclipse. I’d have disliked being called calculating, but I had, like all women, a calculator in my head. I thought it silly to ignore its answers when they pointed to an unfairness for which we really ought to have been preparing.

I was competitive by nature, an English-literature student with all the corresponding major ambitions and minor prospects (Great American novel; email job). A little Bovarist , frantic for new places and ideas; to travel here, to travel there, to be in the room where things happened. I resented the callow boys in my class, who lusted after a particular, socially sanctioned type on campus: thin and sexless, emotionally detached and socially connected, the opposite of me. Restless one Saturday night, I slipped on a red dress and snuck into a graduate-school event, coiling an HDMI cord around my wrist as proof of some technical duty. I danced. I drank for free, until one of the organizers asked me to leave. I called and climbed into an Uber. Then I promptly climbed out of it. For there he was, emerging from the revolving doors. Brown eyes, curved lips, immaculate jacket. I went to him, asked him for a cigarette. A date, days later. A second one, where I discovered he was a person, potentially my favorite kind: funny, clear-eyed, brilliant, on intimate terms with the universe.

I used to love men like men love women — that is, not very well, and with a hunger driven only by my own inadequacies. Not him. In those early days, I spoke fondly of my family, stocked the fridge with his favorite pasta, folded his clothes more neatly than I ever have since. I wrote his mother a thank-you note for hosting me in his native France, something befitting a daughter-in-law. It worked; I meant it. After graduation and my fellowship at Oxford, I stayed in Europe for his career and married him at 23.

Of course I just fell in love. Romances have a setting; I had only intervened to place myself well. Mainly, I spotted the precise trouble of being a woman ahead of time, tried to surf it instead of letting it drown me on principle. I had grown bored of discussions of fair and unfair, equal or unequal , and preferred instead to consider a thing called ease.

The reception of a particular age-gap relationship depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.

Twenty and 30 is not like 30 and 40; some freshness to my features back then, some clumsiness in my bearing, warped our decade, in the eyes of others, to an uncrossable gulf. Perhaps this explains the anger we felt directed at us at the start of our relationship. People seemed to take us very, very personally. I recall a hellish car ride with a friend of his who began to castigate me in the backseat, in tones so low that only I could hear him. He told me, You wanted a rich boyfriend. You chased and snuck into parties . He spared me the insult of gold digger, but he drew, with other words, the outline for it. Most offended were the single older women, my husband’s classmates. They discussed me in the bathroom at parties when I was in the stall. What does he see in her? What do they talk about? They were concerned about me. They wielded their concern like a bludgeon. They paraphrased without meaning to my favorite line from Nabokov’s Lolita : “You took advantage of my disadvantage,” suspecting me of some weakness he in turn mined. It did not disturb them, so much, to consider that all relationships were trades. The trouble was the trade I’d made struck them as a bad one.

The truth is you can fall in love with someone for all sorts of reasons, tiny transactions, pluses and minuses, whose sum is your affection for each other, your loyalty, your commitment. The way someone picks up your favorite croissant. Their habit of listening hard. What they do for you on your anniversary and your reciprocal gesture, wrapped thoughtfully. The serenity they inspire; your happiness, enlivening it. When someone says they feel unappreciated, what they really mean is you’re in debt to them.

When I think of same-age, same-stage relationships, what I tend to picture is a woman who is doing too much for too little.

I’m 27 now, and most women my age have “partners.” These days, girls become partners quite young. A partner is supposed to be a modern answer to the oppression of marriage, the terrible feeling of someone looming over you, head of a household to which you can only ever be the neck. Necks are vulnerable. The problem with a partner, however, is if you’re equal in all things, you compromise in all things. And men are too skilled at taking .

There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to therapy because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.

I find a post on Reddit where five thousand men try to define “ a woman’s touch .” They describe raised flower beds, blankets, photographs of their loved ones, not hers, sprouting on the mantel overnight. Candles, coasters, side tables. Someone remembering to take lint out of the dryer. To give compliments. I wonder what these women are getting back. I imagine them like Cinderella’s mice, scurrying around, their sole proof of life their contributions to a more central character. On occasion I meet a nice couple, who grew up together. They know each other with a fraternalism tender and alien to me.  But I think of all my friends who failed at this, were failed at this, and I think, No, absolutely not, too risky . Riskier, sometimes, than an age gap.

My younger brother is in his early 20s, handsome, successful, but in many ways: an endearing disaster. By his age, I had long since wisened up. He leaves his clothes in the dryer, takes out a single shirt, steams it for three minutes. His towel on the floor, for someone else to retrieve. His lovely, same-age girlfriend is aching to fix these tendencies, among others. She is capable beyond words. Statistically, they will not end up together. He moved into his first place recently, and she, the girlfriend, supplied him with a long, detailed list of things he needed for his apartment: sheets, towels, hangers, a colander, which made me laugh. She picked out his couch. I will bet you anything she will fix his laundry habits, and if so, they will impress the next girl. If they break up, she will never see that couch again, and he will forget its story. I tell her when I visit because I like her, though I get in trouble for it: You shouldn’t do so much for him, not for someone who is not stuck with you, not for any boy, not even for my wonderful brother.

Too much work had left my husband, by 30, jaded and uninspired. He’d burned out — but I could reenchant things. I danced at restaurants when they played a song I liked. I turned grocery shopping into an adventure, pleased by what I provided. Ambitious, hungry, he needed someone smart enough to sustain his interest, but flexible enough in her habits to build them around his hours. I could. I do: read myself occupied, make myself free, materialize beside him when he calls for me. In exchange, I left a lucrative but deadening spreadsheet job to write full-time, without having to live like a writer. I learned to cook, a little, and decorate, somewhat poorly. Mostly I get to read, to walk central London and Miami and think in delicious circles, to work hard, when necessary, for free, and write stories for far less than minimum wage when I tally all the hours I take to write them.

At 20, I had felt daunted by the project of becoming my ideal self, couldn’t imagine doing it in tandem with someone, two raw lumps of clay trying to mold one another and only sullying things worse. I’d go on dates with boys my age and leave with the impression they were telling me not about themselves but some person who didn’t exist yet and on whom I was meant to bet regardless. My husband struck me instead as so finished, formed. Analyzable for compatibility. He bore the traces of other women who’d improved him, small but crucial basics like use a coaster ; listen, don’t give advice. Young egos mellow into patience and generosity.

My husband isn’t my partner. He’s my mentor, my lover, and, only in certain contexts, my friend. I’ll never forget it, how he showed me around our first place like he was introducing me to myself: This is the wine you’ll drink, where you’ll keep your clothes, we vacation here, this is the other language we’ll speak, you’ll learn it, and I did. Adulthood seemed a series of exhausting obligations. But his logistics ran so smoothly that he simply tacked mine on. I moved into his flat, onto his level, drag and drop, cleaner thrice a week, bills automatic. By opting out of partnership in my 20s, I granted myself a kind of compartmentalized, liberating selfishness none of my friends have managed. I am the work in progress, the party we worry about, a surprising dominance. When I searched for my first job, at 21, we combined our efforts, for my sake. He had wisdom to impart, contacts with whom he arranged coffees; we spent an afternoon, laughing, drawing up earnest lists of my pros and cons (highly sociable; sloppy math). Meanwhile, I took calls from a dear friend who had a boyfriend her age. Both savagely ambitious, hyperclose and entwined in each other’s projects. If each was a start-up , the other was the first hire, an intense dedication I found riveting. Yet every time she called me, I hung up with the distinct feeling that too much was happening at the same time: both learning to please a boss; to forge more adult relationships with their families; to pay bills and taxes and hang prints on the wall. Neither had any advice to give and certainly no stability. I pictured a three-legged race, two people tied together and hobbling toward every milestone.

I don’t fool myself. My marriage has its cons. There are only so many times one can say “thank you” — for splendid scenes, fine dinners — before the phrase starts to grate. I live in an apartment whose rent he pays and that shapes the freedom with which I can ever be angry with him. He doesn’t have to hold it over my head. It just floats there, complicating usual shorthands to explain dissatisfaction like, You aren’t being supportive lately . It’s a Frenchism to say, “Take a decision,” and from time to time I joke: from whom? Occasionally I find myself in some fabulous country at some fabulous party and I think what a long way I have traveled, like a lucky cloud, and it is frightening to think of oneself as vapor.

Mostly I worry that if he ever betrayed me and I had to move on, I would survive, but would find in my humor, preferences, the way I make coffee or the bed nothing that he did not teach, change, mold, recompose, stamp with his initials, the way Renaissance painters hid in their paintings their faces among a crowd. I wonder if when they looked at their paintings, they saw their own faces first. But this is the wrong question, if our aim is happiness. Like the other question on which I’m expected to dwell: Who is in charge, the man who drives or the woman who put him there so she could enjoy herself? I sit in the car, in the painting it would have taken me a corporate job and 20 years to paint alone, and my concern over who has the upper hand becomes as distant as the horizon, the one he and I made so wide for me.

To be a woman is to race against the clock, in several ways, until there is nothing left to be but run ragged.

We try to put it off, but it will hit us at some point: that we live in a world in which our power has a different shape from that of men, a different distribution of advantage, ours a funnel and theirs an expanding cone. A woman at 20 rarely has to earn her welcome; a boy at 20 will be turned away at the door. A woman at 30 may find a younger woman has taken her seat; a man at 30 will have invited her. I think back to the women in the bathroom, my husband’s classmates. What was my relationship if not an inconvertible sign of this unfairness? What was I doing, in marrying older, if not endorsing it? I had taken advantage of their disadvantage. I had preempted my own. After all, principled women are meant to defy unfairness, to show some integrity or denial, not plan around it, like I had. These were driven women, successful, beautiful, capable. I merely possessed the one thing they had already lost. In getting ahead of the problem, had I pushed them down? If I hadn’t, would it really have made any difference?

When we decided we wanted to be equal to men, we got on men’s time. We worked when they worked, retired when they retired, had to squeeze pregnancy, children, menopause somewhere impossibly in the margins. I have a friend, in her late 20s, who wears a mood ring; these days it is often red, flickering in the air like a siren when she explains her predicament to me. She has raised her fair share of same-age boyfriends. She has put her head down, worked laboriously alongside them, too. At last she is beginning to reap the dividends, earning the income to finally enjoy herself. But it is now, exactly at this precipice of freedom and pleasure, that a time problem comes closing in. If she would like to have children before 35, she must begin her next profession, motherhood, rather soon, compromising inevitably her original one. The same-age partner, equally unsettled in his career, will take only the minimum time off, she guesses, or else pay some cost which will come back to bite her. Everything unfailingly does. If she freezes her eggs to buy time, the decision and its logistics will burden her singly — and perhaps it will not work. Overlay the years a woman is supposed to establish herself in her career and her fertility window and it’s a perfect, miserable circle. By midlife women report feeling invisible, undervalued; it is a telling cliché, that after all this, some husbands leave for a younger girl. So when is her time, exactly? For leisure, ease, liberty? There is no brand of feminism which achieved female rest. If women’s problem in the ’50s was a paralyzing malaise, now it is that they are too active, too capable, never permitted a vacation they didn’t plan. It’s not that our efforts to have it all were fated for failure. They simply weren’t imaginative enough.

For me, my relationship, with its age gap, has alleviated this rush , permitted me to massage the clock, shift its hands to my benefit. Very soon, we will decide to have children, and I don’t panic over last gasps of fun, because I took so many big breaths of it early: on the holidays of someone who had worked a decade longer than I had, in beautiful places when I was young and beautiful, a symmetry I recommend. If such a thing as maternal energy exists, mine was never depleted. I spent the last nearly seven years supported more than I support and I am still not as old as my husband was when he met me. When I have a child, I will expect more help from him than I would if he were younger, for what does professional tenure earn you if not the right to set more limits on work demands — or, if not, to secure some child care, at the very least? When I return to work after maternal upheaval, he will aid me, as he’s always had, with his ability to put himself aside, as younger men are rarely able.

Above all, the great gift of my marriage is flexibility. A chance to live my life before I become responsible for someone else’s — a lover’s, or a child’s. A chance to write. A chance at a destiny that doesn’t adhere rigidly to the routines and timelines of men, but lends itself instead to roomy accommodation, to the very fluidity Betty Friedan dreamed of in 1963 in The Feminine Mystique , but we’ve largely forgotten: some career or style of life that “permits year-to-year variation — a full-time paid job in one community, part-time in another, exercise of the professional skill in serious volunteer work or a period of study during pregnancy or early motherhood when a full-time job is not feasible.” Some things are just not feasible in our current structures. Somewhere along the way we stopped admitting that, and all we did was make women feel like personal failures. I dream of new structures, a world in which women have entry-level jobs in their 30s; alternate avenues for promotion; corporate ladders with balconies on which they can stand still, have a smoke, take a break, make a baby, enjoy themselves, before they keep climbing. Perhaps men long for this in their own way. Actually I am sure of that.

Once, when we first fell in love, I put my head in his lap on a long car ride; I remember his hands on my face, the sun, the twisting turns of a mountain road, surprising and not surprising us like our romance, and his voice, telling me that it was his biggest regret that I was so young, he feared he would lose me. Last week, we looked back at old photos and agreed we’d given each other our respective best years. Sometimes real equality is not so obvious, sometimes it takes turns, sometimes it takes almost a decade to reveal itself.

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I didn't get a VP job in HR because the recruiter said I didn't try hard enough with my appearance

  • Melissa Weaver was rejected for a VP role in HR at a tech company due to her appearance.
  • The recruiter stated Weaver did not put enough effort into how she looked for the video interview.
  • Weaver didn't wear makeup but said she wore a blazer, a collared shirt, and gold earrings.

Insider Today

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Melissa Weaver , 30, who has worked in human resources. After a recent interview for an HR job at a tech company, conducted by video, the New Yorker was disappointed to learn she wasn't moving to the next round. When Weaver asked for feedback, the recruiter replied in an email viewed by Business Insider that she was "concerned that you didn't put forth enough effort into your appearance given you were interviewing for a Vice President role." The following has been edited for brevity and clarity.

I was laid off from my previous job in December. When I started looking for a new job, I wanted to make sure it would be one where I felt like I could contribute a lot. I found a posting on LinkedIn for a vice president of human resources role, which I understand is ironic, given what happened.

I looked at the job description and knew it was in line with what I had done previously. I researched the company and their core values, which, again — very ironic. Then I applied. The recruiter reached out and said that my background aligned with what they wanted.

The interview was by video. I had on a black blazer and a collared shirt, both of which were ironed. I wore small gold earrings. I'd done a blowout on my hair and had beige-colored nails. I did everything in line with proper professional attire . But I didn't wear makeup, which I didn't think was a big deal. But apparently, it was to her.

I thought the interview went really well. I had good answers to questions. Having a recruitment background, I know how to have conversations with people. It was supposed to go 30 minutes, but it went closer to 40. I was really optimistic when the call ended.

Concerns about my appearance

A couple of days after the interview, I got an email from the recruiter saying that I was in line with what they wanted in terms of experience and that my values aligned with theirs but that they wouldn't be moving forward. I decided to ask for feedback. She wrote back and said she was concerned that I didn't put enough effort into my appearance .

My reaction was a bit of shock. One, that someone would write that in an email. But more so, that in 2024, this is still happening. I had so much enthusiasm about the company, and I knew I was good for the role. I can only assume her concern was that I didn't put on makeup because I'd done everything else. So hearing that because I hadn't done that, I was somehow less qualified or didn't seem like I was as enthusiastic about the job was just baffling.

Related stories

I don't tend to wear that much makeup for various reasons. One, makeup is so expensive. There's a reason cosmetics is a billion-dollar industry. It's also just not something that I enjoy doing. I have a lot of friends who are happy to spend 45 minutes to an hour on their makeup. It's their zen time. Props to them, but I'd rather invest in my skincare. My dermatologist and I are on a first-name basis.

I grew up in the South in a culture of you have to put your face on to just go to the grocery store. My mom and I joked that there are probably women whose significant others have never seen them without a full face of makeup. At night, they'd take off their makeup and put on a fresh face of it just to go to bed. To each their own.

I was dressed up.

In the comments for a TikTok I made about the experience, people say things like, "I actually heard that I've worn too much makeup in my interview." Or, "I'm not supposed to wear red lipstick because it's too much of a power move." One woman said she got more assignments at work when she started wearing makeup. For someone else, it was losing weight. Reading that — in 2024 — our appearance somehow correlates to our ability to do our jobs is very disheartening. A lot of people use makeup to enhance their features. But the idea that that's a requirement is kind of insane.

I was dressed up for the interview. Dressing nicely shows that you have enthusiasm for the job and take it seriously. That applies to both men and women. So, in recruitment, I never judged someone if they wore makeup or if a man had long hair, as long as it was well-kept. I did have someone show up in a video interview in pajamas once. In that case, I was like, "I'm not really sure about this for a senior-level position."

The fact is, makeup just applies to women. It's not expected that men wear foundation or contour or whatever. But that something gender-specific can somehow impact a role is not good.

It might have been more shocking had the comment come from a man because, having worked in recruitment, I never had a male colleague comment about a woman's makeup. Maybe, for women, it's a matter of them wearing it themselves so they would expect it from another woman.

I don't think this experience is necessarily going to change my approach to a job search because I want to be part of a company that has a supportive culture and that doesn't have the sort of expectations of women having to wear makeup. Making sure that companies have an inclusive culture is incredibly important to me.

Recruiters are the face of a company.

I don't think it's necessarily fair to judge an entire company based on one person, though recruiters are typically the face of the company — or the first face you see. So that's something to be mindful of. I don't think I could learn all I want to know about a company's culture based on the first person that I meet with or even the first few people. That's why I appreciate a hiring process with multiple interviews with different people. As draining as some people can find that, I appreciate it because you do get a feel for a lot of different people in the company.

Something I've always loved about being an HR is that it is a people-facing role. That's why I want to find an employer with an inclusive culture and where I can contribute to that. This is about women supporting women and men supporting women as well. It's given me an extra boost in terms of knowing what I'm passionate about, which I want to be sure I can bring to a company.

I didn't write the recruiter back because I didn't think it would make a difference. Several people encouraged me to forward her email to the company's head of HR. I don't know if I will. You also worry about being blackballed.

HR can be taxing work, but at the end of the day, I love it. I love working with people. And so I know that it's the lane that I want to stay in.

I didn't make the TikTok to bash the company or anything like that. I never wanted it to be a crusade. I just wanted people's opinions, and if it generates a conversation, then I'm happy about that. Many of the comments I've received have been supportive and have called out a double standard. The fact that so many of them were encouraging made me feel positive and that just because one recruiter felt that way, it's not the majority opinion.

Do you have something to share about an interview process or what you're seeing in your workplace? Business Insider would like to hear from you. Email our workplace team from a nonwork device at  [email protected]  with your story or to ask for one of our reporter's Signal numbers. Or  check out  Business Insider's source guide  for tips on sharing information securely.

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Scientists Just Gave Humanity an Overdue Reality Check. The World Will Be Better for It.

A crowded freeway in Los Angeles against the setting sun.

By Stephen Lezak

Mr. Lezak is a researcher at the University of Cambridge and the University of Oxford who studies the politics of climate change.

The world’s leading institution on geology declined a proposal on Wednesday to confirm that the planet has entered a new geologic epoch , doubling down on its bombshell announcement earlier this month. The notion that we’re in the “Anthropocene” — the proposed name for a geologic period defined by extensive human disturbance — has become a common theme in environmental circles for the last 15 years. To many proponents, the term is an essential vindication, the planetary equivalent of a long-sought diagnosis of a mysterious illness. But geologists weren’t convinced.

The international geology commission’s decision this week to uphold its vote of 12 to 4 may seem confusing, since by some measures humans have already become the dominant geologic force on the earth’s surface. But setting the science aside for a moment, there’s a reason to celebrate, because the politics behind the Anthropocene label were rotten to begin with.

For starters, the word Anthropocene problematically implies that humans as a species are responsible for the sorry state of the earth’s environments. While technically true, only a fraction of humanity, driven by greed and rapacious capitalism, is responsible for burning through the planet’s resources at an unsustainable rate. Billions of humans still lead lives with relatively modest environmental footprints, yet the terminology of the Anthropocene wrongly lays blame at their feet. Responding to the vote, a group of outside scientists wisely noted in the journal Nature Ecology and Evolution that “our impacts have less to do with being human and more to do with ways of being human.”

What’s more, inaugurating a new geologic epoch is an unacceptable act of defeatism. Geologic epochs are not fleeting moments. The shortest one, the Holocene — the one we live in — is 11,700 years long and counting. The idea that we are entering a new epoch defined by human-caused environmental disaster implies that we won’t be getting out of this mess anytime soon. In that way, the Anthropocene forecloses on the possibility that the geologic future might be better than the present.

By placing Homo sapiens center stage, the Anthropocene also deepens a stark and inaccurate distinction between humanity and the planet that sustains us. The idea of “nature” as something separate from humankind is a figment of the Western imagination. We should be wary of language that further separates us from the broader constellation of life to which we belong.

Before the recent vote, the Anthropocene epoch had cleared several key hurdles on the path to scientific consensus. The International Commission on Stratigraphy, the global authority on demarcating the planet’s history, established a dedicated working group in 2009. Ten years later, the group formally recommended adopting the new epoch. But the proposal still had to be approved by a matryoshka doll of committees within the commission and its parent body, the International Union of Geological Sciences.

By all accounts, the process leading up to the vote was highly contentious. After the initial vote was held, scientists in the minority called for it to be annulled , citing procedural issues. This week, the committee’s parent authority stepped in to uphold the results.

Ultimately, what scuttled the proposal was disagreement about where to mark the end of the Holocene. The Anthropocene Working Group had settled on 1952, the year that airborne plutonium residue from testing hydrogen bombs fell across broad stretches of the planet. That ash, scientists reasoned, would leave a sedimentary signature akin to the boundaries that mark ancient geologic transitions. But scientists at the stratigraphy commission objected — what about the dawn of agriculture or the Industrial Revolution? After all, the human footprint on the planet long predates the atomic age.

“It’s very obvious to me that human activity started long before 1952,” Phil Gibbard, a founding member of the Anthropocene Working Group who is the secretary-general of the commission, said when we spoke on Thursday. “It just didn’t make sense to draw a rigid boundary within my lifetime.”

In recent years, philosophers have bandied about alternative names: the Capitalocene , the Plantationocene and even the Ravencene , a reference to the raven who figures widely in North Pacific Indigenous mythology as a trickster figure, reminding humans to be humble amid our destructive capacity. For my part, I’m partial to “post-Holocene,” an admission that the world is vastly different than it was 10,000 years ago, but that we can’t possibly predict — or name — what it might look like in another 10,000 years.

In the end, it might be too late to find a better term. The “Anthropocene” has already entered the popular lexicon, from the cover of The Economist to the title of a Grimes album. The scientists who coined the term do not have the power to extinguish it.

Whatever we choose to call these troubled times, what matters most is that we keep an open mind about what the future holds and maintain an appreciation for the complexity of the issues we face. The scars humanity leaves upon the earth are much too fraught to be represented with a single line drawn across time.

Looking ahead, we should follow the geologists’ lead and keep a healthy skepticism of the A-word. After all, nothing is more hubristic than reckless tyrants who names the world after themselves — think Stalingrad, Constantinople or Alexandria.

Geologists will continue to disagree over what to call the present era. The rest of us must continue the difficult politics of caring for a planet that can (still) support a panoply of life.

Stephen Lezak is a researcher at the University of Cambridge and the University of Oxford who studies the politics of climate change.

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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