how to write a college essay about hardship

What are your chances of acceptance?

Calculate for all schools, your chance of acceptance.

Your chancing factors

Extracurriculars.

8 Overcoming Challenges College Essay Examples

The purpose of the Overcoming Challenges essay is for schools to see how you might handle the difficulties of college. They want to know how you grow, evolve, and learn when you face adversity. For this topic, there are many clichés , such as getting a bad grade or losing a sports game, so be sure to steer clear of those and focus on a topic that’s unique to you. (See our full guide on the Overcoming Challenges Essay for more tips).

These overcoming challenges essay examples were all written by real students. Read through them to get a sense of what makes a strong essay. At the end, we’ll present the revision process for the first essay and share some resources for improving your essay.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Essay 1: Becoming a Coach

“Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly their dejectedness, at not being able to compete.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. The writer shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.

One area of improvement of this essay would be the “attack” wording. The author likely uses this word as a metaphor for martial arts, but it feels too strong to describe the adults’ doubt of the student’s abilities as a coach, and can even be confusing at first.

Still, we see the student’s resilience as they are able to move past the disbelieving looks to help their team. The essay is kept real and vulnerable, however, as the writer admits having doubts: Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

Essay 2: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This essay is an excellent example because the writer turns an everyday challenge—starting a fire—into an exploration of her identity. The writer was once “a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes,” but has since traded her love of the outdoors for a love of music, writing, and reading. 

The story begins in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. One of the essay’s biggest strengths is its use of imagery. We can easily visualize the writer’s childhood and the present day. For instance, she states that she “rubbed and rubbed [the twigs] until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers.”

The writing has an extremely literary quality, particularly with its wordplay. The writer reappropriates words and meanings, and even appeals to the senses: “My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.” She later uses a parallelism to cleverly juxtapose her changed interests: “instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano.”

One of the essay’s main areas of improvement is its overemphasis on the “story” and lack of emphasis on the reflection. The second to last paragraph about changing perspective is crucial to the essay, as it ties the anecdote to larger lessons in the writer’s life. She states that she hasn’t changed, but has only shifted perspective. Yet, we don’t get a good sense of where this realization comes from and how it impacts her life going forward. 

The end of the essay offers a satisfying return to the fire imagery, and highlights the writer’s passion—the one thing that has remained constant in her life.

Essay 3: Last-Minute Switch

The morning of the Model United Nation conference, I walked into Committee feeling confident about my research. We were simulating the Nuremberg Trials – a series of post-World War II proceedings for war crimes – and my portfolio was of the Soviet Judge Major General Iona Nikitchenko. Until that day, the infamous Nazi regime had only been a chapter in my history textbook; however, the conference’s unveiling of each defendant’s crimes brought those horrors to life. The previous night, I had organized my research, proofread my position paper and gone over Judge Nikitchenko’s pertinent statements. I aimed to find the perfect balance between his stance and my own.

As I walked into committee anticipating a battle of wits, my director abruptly called out to me. “I’m afraid we’ve received a late confirmation from another delegate who will be representing Judge Nikitchenko. You, on the other hand, are now the defense attorney, Otto Stahmer.” Everyone around me buzzed around the room in excitement, coordinating with their allies and developing strategies against their enemies, oblivious to the bomb that had just dropped on me. I felt frozen in my tracks, and it seemed that only rage against the careless delegate who had confirmed her presence so late could pull me out of my trance. After having spent a month painstakingly crafting my verdicts and gathering evidence against the Nazis, I now needed to reverse my stance only three hours before the first session.

Gradually, anger gave way to utter panic. My research was fundamental to my performance, and without it, I knew I could add little to the Trials. But confident in my ability, my director optimistically recommended constructing an impromptu defense. Nervously, I began my research anew. Despite feeling hopeless, as I read through the prosecution’s arguments, I uncovered substantial loopholes. I noticed a lack of conclusive evidence against the defendants and certain inconsistencies in testimonies. My discovery energized me, inspiring me to revisit the historical overview in my conference “Background Guide” and to search the web for other relevant articles. Some Nazi prisoners had been treated as “guilty” before their court dates. While I had brushed this information under the carpet while developing my position as a judge, i t now became the focus of my defense. I began scratching out a new argument, centered on the premise that the allied countries had violated the fundamental rule that, a defendant was “not guilty” until proven otherwise.

At the end of the three hours, I felt better prepared. The first session began, and with bravado, I raised my placard to speak. Microphone in hand, I turned to face my audience. “Greetings delegates. I, Otto Stahmer would like to…….” I suddenly blanked. Utter dread permeated my body as I tried to recall my thoughts in vain. “Defence Attorney, Stahmer we’ll come back to you,” my Committee Director broke the silence as I tottered back to my seat, flushed with embarrassment. Despite my shame, I was undeterred. I needed to vindicate my director’s faith in me. I pulled out my notes, refocused, and began outlining my arguments in a more clear and direct manner. Thereafter, I spoke articulately, confidently putting forth my points. I was overjoyed when Secretariat members congratulated me on my fine performance.

Going into the conference, I believed that preparation was the key to success. I wouldn’t say I disagree with that statement now, but I believe adaptability is equally important. My ability to problem-solve in the face of an unforeseen challenge proved advantageous in the art of diplomacy. Not only did this experience transform me into a confident and eloquent delegate at that conference, but it also helped me become a more flexible and creative thinker in a variety of other capacities. Now that I know I can adapt under pressure, I look forward to engaging in activities that will push me to be even quicker on my feet.

This essay is an excellent example because it focuses on a unique challenge and is highly engaging. The writer details their experience reversing their stance in a Model UN trial with only a few hours notice, after having researched and prepared to argue the opposite perspective for a month. 

Their essay is written in media res , or in the middle of the action, allowing readers to feel as if we’re there with the writer. The student openly shares their internal thoughts with us — we feel their anger and panic upon the reversal of roles. We empathize with their emotions of “utter dread” and embarrassment when they’re unable to speak. 

From the essay, we learn that the student believes in thorough preparation, but can also adapt to unforeseen obstacles. They’re able to rise to the challenge and put together an impromptu argument, think critically under pressure, and recover after their initial inability to speak. 

Essay 4: Music as a Coping Mechanism

CW: This essay mentions self-harm.

Sobbing uncontrollably, I parked around the corner from my best friend’s house. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I whispered the most earnest prayer I had ever offered.

Minutes before, I had driven to Colin’s house to pick up a prop for our upcoming spring musical. When I got there, his older brother, Tom, came to the door and informed me that no one else was home. “No,” I corrected, “Colin is here. He’s got a migraine.” Tom shook his head and gently told me where Colin actually was: the psychiatric unit of the local hospital. I felt a weight on my chest as I connected the dots; the terrifying picture rocked my safe little world. Tom’s words blurred as he explained Colin’s self-harm, but all I could think of was whether I could have stopped him. Those cuts on his arms had never been accidents. Colin had lied, very convincingly, many times. How could I have ignored the signs in front of me? Somehow, I managed to ask Tom whether I could see him, but he told me that visiting hours for non-family members were over for the day. I would have to move on with my afternoon.

Once my tears had subsided a little, I drove to the theater, trying to pull myself together and warm up to sing. How would I rehearse? I couldn’t sing three notes without bursting into tears. “I can’t do this,” I thought. But then I realized that the question wasn’t whether I could do it. I knew Colin would want me to push through, and something deep inside told me that music was the best way for me to process my grief. I needed to sing.

I practiced the lyrics throughout my whole drive. The first few times, I broke down in sobs. By the time I reached the theater, however, the music had calmed me. While Colin would never be far from my mind, I had to focus on the task ahead: recording vocals and then producing the video trailer that would be shown to my high school classmates. I fought to channel my worry into my recording. If my voice shook during the particularly heartfelt moments, it only added emotion and depth to my performance. I felt Colin’s absence next to me, but even before I listened to that first take, I knew it was a keeper.

With one of my hurdles behind me, I steeled myself again and prepared for the musical’s trailer. In a floor-length black cape and purple dress, I swept regally down the steps to my director, who waited outside. Under a gloomy sky that threatened to turn stormy, I boldly strode across the street, tossed a dainty yellow bouquet, and flashed confident grins at all those staring. My grief lurched inside, but I felt powerful. Despite my sadness, I could still make art.

To my own surprise, I successfully took back the day. I had felt pain, but I had not let it drown me – making music was a productive way to express my feelings than worrying. Since then, I have been learning to take better care of myself in difficult situations. That day before rehearsal, I found myself in the most troubling circumstances of my life thus far, but they did not sink me because I refused to sink. When my aunt developed cancer several months later, I knew that resolution would not come quickly, but that I could rely on music to cope with the agony, even when it would be easier to fall apart. Thankfully, Colin recovered from his injuries and was home within days. The next week, we stood together on stage at our show’s opening night. As our eyes met and our voices joined in song, I knew that music would always be our greatest mechanism for transforming pain into strength.

This essay is well-written, as we can feel the writer’s emotions through the thoughts they share, and visualize the night of the performance through their rich descriptions. Their varied sentence length also makes the essay more engaging.

That said, this essay is not a great example because of the framing of the topic. The writer can come off as insensitive since they make their friend’s struggle about themself and their emotions (and this is only worsened by the mention of their aunt’s cancer and how it was tough on them ). The essay would’ve been stronger if it focused on their guilt of not recognizing their friend’s struggles and spanned a longer period of time to demonstrate gradual relationship building and reflection. Still, this would’ve been difficult to do well.

In general, you should try to choose a challenge that is undeniably your own, and you should get at least one or two people to read your essay to give you candid feedback.

Essay 5: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

While the writer didn’t succeed in getting the track dedicated to Coach Stark, their essay is certainly successful in showing their willingness to push themselves and take initiative.

The essay opens with a quote from Coach Stark that later comes full circle at the end of the essay. We learn about Stark’s impact and the motivation for trying to get the track dedicated to him.

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The essay goes on to explain how the writer overcame their apprehension of public speaking, and likens the process of submitting an appeal to the school board to running a race. This metaphor makes the writing more engaging and allows us to feel the student’s emotions.

While the student didn’t ultimately succeed in getting the track dedicated, we learn about their resilience and initiative: I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Overall, this essay is well-done. It demonstrates growth despite failing to meet a goal, which is a unique essay structure. The running metaphor and full-circle intro/ending also elevate the writing in this essay.

Essay 6: Body Image

CW: This essay mentions eating disorders.

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

We can see that the writer of this essay has been through a lot, and a strength of their essay is their vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members.

Still, this essay shows us that this student is honest, self-aware, and caring, which are all qualities admissions officer are looking for.

Essay 7: Health Crisis

Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driver’s license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life. 

Three blood transfusions later, my mother’s condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my mother’s doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.

My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didn’t know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.

Throughout my mother’s health crisis, I matured by learning to put others’ needs before my own. As I worried about my mother’s health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.

This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.

And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like “I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover” and “Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,” the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven through their actions!

This essay makes us want to cheer for the writer, and they certainly seem like someone who would thrive in a more independent college environment.

Essay 8: Turned Tables

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Where to Get Your Overcoming Challenges Essays Edited

Do you want feedback on your Overcoming Challenges essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Related CollegeVine Blog Posts

How to Write a Scholarship Essay (with Examples)

September 27, 2023

While applying to college, many students are faced with an additional, daunting task: how to write a scholarship essay. Financial need, already a sensitive subject, can become a stressful factor in the process alongside other existential unknowns. Luckily, scholarship essays will not require you to go tiptoeing around the taboo topic of money. Furthermore, most scholarship essay prompts more or less resemble standard supplemental essay questions. The trick then is to make your scholarship essay stand out. The following article and scholarship essay example will offer up pointers for anyone striving to win a college scholarship.

Organizing Scholarship Essays by Prompt

You may feel like melting into a lump of despair when facing a browser full of tabbed scholarships. The best way to avoid getting overwhelmed is to organize and analyze a list of prompts. Why? Because your first goal is not simply to figure out how to write a scholarship essay. Rather, you’ll want to know how to save time while writing complex and relevant scholarship essays.

As you look over the various prompts, you’ll notice that some sound fairly open-ended, while others ask for something quite specific. In response, you should annotate each prompt with thematic keywords. This will help you figure out when you can use the same essay for several prompts.

Your annotated list may look something like the following…

Sample Scholarship Essay Prompts

1) “Explain something that made a big impact in your life.”

• Keywords: event , personal development, growth, background

2) “We’re committed to diversifying education abroad by providing funding to students who are typically under-represented in study abroad. Please describe how you and/or your plans for study abroad could be viewed as under-represented.”

• Keywords: minority, diversity, identity, study abroad

3) “Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.”

• Keywords: background, identity, interest, talent

Sample Scholarship Essay Prompts, Continued

4) “Please explain a personal hardship or catastrophic life event that you have experienced. How did you manage to overcome this obstacle? What did you learn and how did you grow from it?”

• Keywords: event, personal development, growth, challenge, background

5) Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way.

• Keywords: world development, challenge, future

6) “Tell us three things that are important to you. How did you arrive at this list? Will these things be important to you in ten years? Why?”

• Keywords: background, values, interest, development, identity, future

Scholarship Essay Prompts ( Continued)

7) “What does it mean to you to be part of a minority community? What challenges has it brought and how have you overcome them? What are the benefits?”

• Keywords: minority, community, challenge, growth

8) “Please explain how your experience volunteering and participating in community service has shaped your perspective on humanity. Elaborate on how these experiences have influenced your future ambitions and career choice.”

• Keywords: community service, humanity, community, background, future, values, career

9) “Discuss in your essay any challenges or obstacles you have dealt with and overcome in life and how this will help you succeed in college and beyond. Describe how volunteer, community service or extra-curricular activities have shaped who you are today and what it has taught you. May also include future educational plans and career goals.”

• Keywords: challenge, future, community service, interests, value, personal growth, career

How to Write a Scholarship Essay through Prompt Analysis

Let’s compare some prompts by keywords. You’ll notice that some prompts have a lot of overlap, such as prompts 1 and 4. Both have event, personal development, growth, and background as keywords . Prompt 4 includes the additional keyword challenge . This prompt explicitly asks you to explain how you have “overcome” a “personal hardship or catastrophic life event.” While prompt 1 is not so specific, it would be easy, even natural, to include this narrative arc in your response. This means depicting how you faced the thing that “made a big impact in your life.” In other words, these two essay prompts, though worded differently, allow you to tell the same story.

Other prompts provide potential overlap. In this case, it’s up to you to find and interpret these moments. You may consider the values, strengths, interests, and experiences you wish to relate. For example, prompts 7, 8, and 9 all mention community through different approaches. While prompt 7 focuses on one’s past involvement in a minority community, prompts 8 and 9 are more future-facing, and don’t mention minorities.

Scholarship Essay Examples (Continued)

Here, your best strategy involves answering prompts 8 and 9 together in a single scholarship essay. To do so, the essay would need to detail “a challenge or obstacle you have dealt with” (9) which has thus “shaped your perspective on humanity” (8). This narrative arc will thus inform your “future” educational and career plans (8 and 9). Note that prompt 9 allows you to mention extra-curriculars. However, I wouldn’t recommend it, since this would make your essay less relevant to prompt 8. After your essay is written, adapt it to align with prompt 7. Consider condensing the part about the future into one final sentence and focusing more on minority aspects of your community.

How to Scholarship Essay Avoid Burnout

The above tactic will allow you to avoid burnout by strategizing your essay approach ahead of time. In turn, you’ll be able to maximize your efforts from the get-go. You’ll also likely find that your essays become more complex and nuanced when you consider several prompts at once.

The next step involves editing. Refer back to the prompt, once you have a draft written. Ask yourself, did I answer the question fully? Do I need to edit this essay further to emphasize a particular point? Do I need to cut the essay down to fit a new word count? Contrarily do I need to bulk it up? If so, are there other essays in my portfolio from which I can borrow material? Strategic editing will allow you to respond to a large number of essays during peak essay-writing season.

Finally, you’ll notice that most essays require a word count between 250 to 600 words. It’s often easier to write a longer essay first. This will allow you to go into greater detail without censoring your ideas. You may find yourself including dialogue, scenery, emotions, and all sorts of other specifics that make an essay personal. As you whittle down this essay to comply with a similar prompt, you’ll want to identify which pieces of the essay do the most work to get your message across. Don’t simply condense everything by eliminating details, for details are often the most memorable aspects of an essay. More on this next.

How to Write a Scholarship Essay Using the Three Fs

The three Fs can be applied to any college essay, though they are particularily useful in scholarship essays. Why? Because the three Fs will enable you to impress readers and beat out other applicants. Ultimately, they’ll help you win financial support. Think of the three Fs as a checklist to go over, once you’ve completed an essay draft. Ask yourself, is my essay fabulous? Flawless? Fearless?

How to Write a Scholarship Essay (Continued)

If your essay is fabulous , it glitters with personality. It is detailed, unique, and does its best to highlight your impressive journey. If your essay lacks a little fab, ask yourself, how can I make this essay more enjoyable and memorable to read? If your essay is flawless , it lacks all spelling, syntactic and grammatical errors. It answers every aspect of the essay prompt, and leaves no room for vagueness or misunderstandings. To avoid flaws, give your essay to several people to proofread. Finally, if your essay is fearless , it is not afraid to get a little vulnerable. This may sound contradictory to the first F. On the contrary, this fearlessness refers to the confidence to tell your own story. A fearless story isn’t afraid to go deep, add complexity, or get emotional. It is unafraid to show why its author deserves a financial boost.

Scholarship Essay Example

Now that we’ve established how to approach the scholarship essay, let’s dive into a scholarship essay example. The scholarship essay below stems from a prompt we saw above: Describe a change you would like to make in the world. Tell us about how you would plan to make that change, and what obstacles you might encounter along the way (500 words).

My generation is growing up in a time of increased global turmoil. We’ve witnessed Brexit, the Russian interference in the 2016 U.S. elections, a series of refugee crises, and the invasion of Ukraine. It’s easy to liken this moment to Europe in the 1930s, which saw a spike in fascism and propaganda (their version of fake news). Only now, my generation must also contend with the hottest summers on record, raging forest fires, and the beginning of the 6 th extinction. It’s no wonder we deal with it all through increased skepticism and existential dread.

While I don’t have a simple solution, I believe most problems stem from ignorance. Xenophobia and racism, offshoots of ignorance, can be overcome by exposing isolated groups of people to greater diversity. This begins in the classroom. While dictators are hard to dispose of, education provides critical thinking skills, which allow citizens to make informed decisions when electing officials. Finally, developing a willingness to learn at an early age creates an instinct to continue learning throughout life. We desperately need intellectual flexibility if we are going to adapt to the planet’s needs as a world population and put a stop to industry-led fossil fuel burning.

Scholarship Essay Example (Continued)

The change I’d like to make is free, enhanced education for everyone, at every level, from elementary school to post-doctorate research institutes. To do so, I suggest defunding national militaries and channeling this spending into schools. Imagine if 80% of the 877 billion dollars the U.S. military spends annually went into learning. Combating fascism and climate change would look more feasible. And yet, no leader would agree to making their country more vulnerable by relinquishing arms and armies. Change must come from the people.

As the planet continues to heats up, and conflict over land increases, we must work together. The first step towards increased education is communicating this need for education: through journalism, on social media, in the streets. Next, I suggest lobbying politicians for incremental change. Finally, I believe a global grassroots movement to implement future-focused education, led by activists, educators, and philanthropists, would make this theoretical idea a tangible reality.

Last year, my mother, who never received a college education, decided to offer free gardening courses in our backyard. I quickly joined in. While teaching a handful of neighbors how to provide year-round food for pollinators may seem trivial, I’ve already seen positive repercussions. One conservative neighbor has set up an organization that collects and redistributes leftover produce from the markets to refugees. Another neighbor is now teaching middle schoolers how to cook and compost. These efforts have brought unusual strangers together and given visibility to our movement, #futurefocusededucation. I’ve seen it firsthand. The more we educate, the sooner we can combine our knowledge to create solutions.

Scholarship Essay Example Dissected

This scholarship essay succeeds at answering all parts of the prompt. It includes the change the author wants to make, and inevitable obstacles she’d face at the governmental and international level. These obstacles may sound insurmountable. Yet the essay shows that individuals are not powerless to enact change when they work together towards a common goal. The author provides various thoughtful steps we might take in order to prioritize education and peaceful collaboration.

Finally, the author portrays herself as someone personally invested in the political, humanitarian, and environmental state of the world. She proves that she’s already begun to make the changes she wants to see at the microscopic level. Overall, readers of this scholarship essay can see that this student is invested in bettering the world. This student would make for a proactive participant in her academic environment.

What’s Next?

Now that you have some inkling of how to write a scholarship essay and have reviewed of our scholarship essay examples, you may want to delve into more aid-related articles on the College Transitions Dataverse. You can read up on Need-Based Financial Aid Grants , and learn about Selective Colleges with Generous Scholarships . Furthermore, you may want to create your own Scholarship Timeline , in order to stay on top of the various deadlines. Good luck!

• Costs & Financial Aid

Kaylen Baker

With a BA in Literary Studies from Middlebury College, an MFA in Fiction from Columbia University, and a Master’s in Translation from Université Paris 8 Vincennes-Saint-Denis, Kaylen has been working with students on their writing for over five years. Previously, Kaylen taught a fiction course for high school students as part of Columbia Artists/Teachers, and served as an English Language Assistant for the French National Department of Education. Kaylen is an experienced writer/translator whose work has been featured in Los Angeles Review, Hybrid, San Francisco Bay Guardian, France Today, and Honolulu Weekly, among others.

• 2-Year Colleges
• Application Strategies
• Best Colleges by Major
• Best Colleges by State
• Big Picture
• Career & Personality Assessment
• College Essay
• College Search/Knowledge
• College Success
• Dental School Admissions
• Extracurricular Activities
• Graduate School Admissions
• High School Success
• High Schools
• Law School Admissions
• Medical School Admissions
• Navigating the Admissions Process
• Online Learning
• Private High School Spotlight
• Summer Program Spotlight
• Summer Programs
• Test Prep Provider Spotlight

“Innovative and invaluable…use this book as your college lifeline.”

— Lynn O'Shaughnessy

Nationally Recognized College Expert

College Planning in Your Inbox

Join our information-packed monthly newsletter.

I am a... Student Student Parent Counselor Educator Other First Name Last Name Email Address Zip Code Area of Interest Business Computer Science Engineering Fine/Performing Arts Humanities Mathematics STEM Pre-Med Psychology Social Studies/Sciences Submit

1.2 Your Academic Journey and Personal Story

Questions to Consider:

• How can your academic journey develop skills needed for college success?
• How can your personal story prepare you for applying to college?

Your Academic Journey

Now that you have a better understanding of what college can do for you, it is time to focus on how high school is preparing you for college, or better yet, how you can prepare yourself in high school to become college ready. It is clear that what you do (or don’t do) in high school can affect your ability to get into the colleges of your choice, but there is more to preparing yourself than just earning a high GPA or class rank. Your high school education can provide you with ample opportunity to help you hone your academic skills.

Take Difficult Courses

Any student who is serious about applying to college should consider taking challenging classes while in high school. Why? Because those classes can help lay a foundation of high expectations and hard work and they are often highly regarded by college admissions counselors. These classes are sometimes called Advanced Placement (AP), International Baccalaureate (IB), or honors/advanced classes. If you are considering taking such courses, talk to your guidance counselor or current teachers. They may be able to offer suggestions for how to get selected (if there is an application process) and give you a realistic picture of what will be expected. There is no need to take all AP, IB, or advanced classes to prove you are ready for college, but taking a few can provide a college admissions committee evidence that you are open to challenge.

Manage Time and Tasks

If there is one skill that you can develop now that will help you throughout your college career, it is the ability to manage your time and complete tasks. If you already use a planner to track what you need to do and when it is due , then you are on the right track. You can enhance these skills by setting reminders for yourself—and not relying on teachers or parents to tell you when to complete or submit an assignment. The most important part of managing your time and tasks effectively is to build in time well before something is due to complete the work and to overestimate (at least initially) how long you need, which can provide time “buffers” that will keep you from rushing through work to finish it.

Learn to Learn

Earlier, you were introduced to the argument that the purpose of college is to become a learner. You don’t have to wait until college, though, to figure out how best to learn different subject matters. This is one reason you should consider taking challenging classes–they require that you put more time and effort in them to learn the material. And those skills will make transitioning to college much easier. How can you “learn to learn”? You may have little control over what you are learning and how you are tested, but you can control how you approach the learning. One way to learn how to learn is to space out your learning over time (as best as you can—sometimes teachers like to give you a pop quiz when you least expect it!). Reviewing a bit of material for a short amount of time over several days (as opposed to cramming it in right before a test) produces better results. Another way to learn how to learn is to monitor how well your learning strategies work. Did you do well on a test? Take some time to reflect on what you did that resulted in a good grade. Did you space out your studying? Did you look for connections in the material? Likewise, if you do poorly on a test, determine what led to the result. The more you can identify what works and doesn’t for you, the easier it is to make improvements in your learning strategies.

Demonstrate Integrity and Ownership of Learning

Being a high school student often means having a lot on your plate. It can be easy to put off homework and studying, not do it at all, or cut corners to complete the work. While you may be able to get away with some stumbles like forgetting to turn in an assignment, other behaviors, such as getting someone (including Artificial Intelligence software) to do your homework or write a paper for you can get you into trouble. Now is the time to build the skills you will need later in college. Taking full responsibility for your learning as well as demonstrating integrity in all assignments no matter how big or small are the foundation of those skills. How do you do this? For one, you acknowledge that every action or inaction will produce a result. If you put in the work to write the paper, you will earn the grade you receive. If you do not put in the work or find a way to shortcut the process by using someone else’s writing, then you have missed an opportunity to improve your writing, your thinking, and your project management skills. Plus, you may get into trouble for academic dishonesty, which could mean failing an assignment or a course, or getting a more substantial punishment, such as expulsion. The stakes only get higher when you are in college.

Keep Test Scores in Perspective

You will learn more about standardized test scores and their purpose for getting into college later in this chapter, but it is worth noting that while what you make on the ACT, SAT, or equivalent standardized test, may factor into your ability to get into and pay for the college of your dreams, it is not necessarily a reflection of who you are and what you are capable of. Definitely do all you can to raise your test scores through practicing, prepping, and doing your best on the day of the test. But do not assume that a low test score will be the end of your long-term goals or educational journey. They are just one piece of information by which an institution may evaluate your potential, but it shouldn’t be the only thing that tells who you are.

Your Personal Story

Just as important as your academic journey is your personal story. You will need to develop and reflect on both for your applications to college and scholarships. Those who read about you will want to know not only about your accomplishments, but also your challenges and how you have overcome them.

What Makes You Unique

It may seem cliché to say “There is only one you!” But there is some truth in the fact that you are unique—there is no one else like you. To that end, you may want to draw upon those unique characteristics as you begin to shape the story that you will share with college admissions staff and scholarship committees. Will you be the first in your family to go to college? Do you live on a working farm and feed the goats, cows, and horses every morning before school? Can you ride a unicycle or juggle or both? There may be both personal characteristics as well as experiences that make you stand out from others, and if there are, consider weaving these details into the tapestry of your story. Start by making a list of your characteristics—no trait is too small or typical at this point. You can eliminate items later when you start building your story, but for now, create the list and add to it as you think of new things that you are or can do.

Getting Gritty

Many college essay prompts include an opportunity to share a time in your life in which you faced adversity and overcame it. For some students, this prompt is difficult for they have either not experienced a life-changing setback or not considered themselves challenged. It is important to remember that any setback or disappointment—no matter how inconsequential it may seem to you—can be the basis for an essay that responds to such a prompt. There is no need to embellish the circumstance if it is truly not harrowing, but it is acceptable to frame the experience as something that was difficult for you. Most readers of essays are less looking for a made-for-Hollywood story and more wanting to see someone who has demonstrated tenacity, resilience, and reflection no matter how big or small the adversity is. Even if you are not required to write an essay on a time in your life in which you failed or experienced disappointment, having a story handy for interviews (for scholarships, internships, or jobs) can help you share insight into your personality and strengths in a succinct way.

Finding the Themes of Your Life

In Katharine Brooks’ (2010) book You Majored in What? 3 she shares a writing and reflecting activity called “Wandering Pathways and Butterfly Moments” that guides readers through a series of prompts to develop a list of life experiences for the purpose of discovering what career pathway may be most fruitful for them to pursue. These life experiences could be as monumental as moving to a new state and starting a new school or they can be as mundane as spending the summers fishing. The goal of the exercise is to record what you have done or what has happened to you to get a sense of a “story.” These stories are built upon the connections and themes that you see in the experiences. Here are some of the life experiences Brooks wants you to consider when you are crafting your personal story.

• What have you done during the summer or holiday breaks from school?
• What did you play when you were a young child?
• What are some of your major life experiences (e.g. family events such as births, deaths, marriages, divorces)?
• What do people say you do well or have a talent for or seek you out for?
• What do you consider your greatest achievements?
• What jobs have you had?
• What groups have you belonged to?
• What awards have you won?
• What lessons have you learned?
• What do you like to do for fun?
• What kind of “secret” talent do you have?

The goal of answering the questions is to capture as much about who you are and how you have been shaped to develop clear connections among the life elements and create themes. These themes can drive your personal story that can share on a deeper level who you are or who you are becoming.

Consider this scenario: Raphael has taken the time to write down his life experiences so he can build his personal narrative. Some of the answers to the questions above include the following:

• Raphael’s jobs: lifeguard, babysitter for his nieces and nephews, tutor, art teacher for elementary students
• Raphael’s hobbies and interests: watching old movies, volunteering at the library, creating original jewelry from natural objects
• Raphael’s awards and accolades: he won a writing contest in 11th grade, his friends come to him for advice, he has earned high grades in all of his classes
• Raphael’s major life events: parents divorced when he was 6 years old, he started a new school in junior high, his aunt passed away when he was 14 years old

From this short list, Raphael can begin to draw out themes that he can use to create a detailed picture of who he is. He has found himself in teaching roles with his jobs. He has a love for the arts as evidenced by his hobbies. He is a good communicator evidenced by his awards and accolades, and relationships are an important part of his life. Raphael can use those themes—and details from his experiences—to craft his story as someone who has demonstrated an interest in connecting with and helping others by sharing his expertise and experience.

Recognizing the themes in your life helps you to describe how you've become the person you are now, and helps you to understand who you will become.

"For me, becoming isn't about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey doesn't end" —former First Lady Michelle Obama , Becoming (2018)

Analysis Question

In what ways is your academic journey in high school shaping your personal narrative? Describe how the following experiences are helping you “become":

• The classes that you are taking
• The activities you participate in as part of school (e.g., sports, performing arts, etc.)
• The learning that you are doing outside of school (e.g., community language class)

In what ways are your personal experiences shaping your story? Describe how the following experiences are helping you “become”:

• Major life events
• Favorite activities
• Awards and accomplishments
• Jobs or volunteer work
• 3 Brooks, K.(2010). You majored in what? Plume.

As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases.

This book may not be used in the training of large language models or otherwise be ingested into large language models or generative AI offerings without OpenStax's permission.

Want to cite, share, or modify this book? This book uses the Creative Commons Attribution License and you must attribute OpenStax.

Access for free at https://openstax.org/books/preparing-for-college-success/pages/1-introduction

• Authors: Amy Baldwin
• Publisher/website: OpenStax
• Book title: Preparing for College Success
• Publication date: Jul 12, 2023
• Location: Houston, Texas
• Book URL: https://openstax.org/books/preparing-for-college-success/pages/1-introduction
• Section URL: https://openstax.org/books/preparing-for-college-success/pages/1-2-your-academic-journey-and-personal-story

© Sep 20, 2023 OpenStax. Textbook content produced by OpenStax is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License . The OpenStax name, OpenStax logo, OpenStax book covers, OpenStax CNX name, and OpenStax CNX logo are not subject to the Creative Commons license and may not be reproduced without the prior and express written consent of Rice University.

• Presidential Search
• Editor's Pick

Cambridge Residents Slam Council Proposal to Delay Bike Lane Construction

‘Gender-Affirming Slay Fest’: Harvard College QSA Hosts Annual Queer Prom

‘Not Being Nerds’: Harvard Students Dance to Tinashe at Yardfest

Wrongful Death Trial Against CAMHS Employee Over 2015 Student Suicide To Begin Tuesday

Cornel West, Harvard Affiliates Call for University to Divest from ‘Israeli Apartheid’ at Rally

College Essays and the Trauma Sweetspot

Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. Discuss a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. If all else fails, explore a background, identity, interest, or talent so profound that not doing so would leave our idea of you fundamentally incomplete.

Exactly the sort of small talk you want to make with strangers.

American college essays — frequently structured around prompts like the above — ask us to interrogate who we are, who we want to be, and what the most formative experiences of our then-short lives are. To tell a story, to reveal ourselves and our identity in its entirety to the curious gaze of admissions officers — all in a succinct 650 words.

Last Thursday, The Crimson published “ Rewriting Our Admissions Essays, ” an intimate reflection by six Crimson editors on the personal statements that got them into Harvard. Our takeaway from this exercise is that our current essay-generating ethos — the topics we choose or are made to choose, the style and emphasis we apply — is imperfect at best, when not actively harmful.

The American admissions process rightly grants students broad latitude to write about whatever they choose, with prompts that emphasize personal experience, adversity, discovery, and identity — features often distort student narratives and pressure students to present themselves in light of their most difficult experiences.

When it comes to writing, freedom is good — great even! The personal statement can be a powerful vehicle to convey an aspect of one’s identity, and students who feel inclined to do so should take advantage of the opportunity to write deeply and candidly about their lives; the variety of prompts, including the possibility to craft your own, facilitate that. We have no doubt that some of our peers had already pondered, or even lived in the shadow of, the difficult questions posed by the most recurrent essay prompts; and we know the essay to be a fundamental part of the holistic, inclusive admissions system we so fervently cherish . Writing one’s college essay, while stressful, can ultimately prove cathartic to some and revealing to others, a helpful exercise in introspection amid a much too busy reality.

Yet we would be blind not to notice the deep, dark nooks where the system that demands such introspection tends to lead us.

Both the college essay format — short but riveting, revealing but uplifting, insightful but not so self-centered that it will upset any potential admissions counselor — and the prompts that guide it push students towards an ethic of maximum emotional impact. With falling acceptance rates and a desperate need to stand out from tens of thousands of applicants, students frequently feel the need to supply the sort of attention-grabbing drama that might just push them through.

But joyful, restful days don’t make for great stories; there are few, if any, plot points in a stable, warm relationship with a living, healthy relative. Trauma, on the other hand — homophobic or racist encounters that leave one shaken, alcoholic parents, death, loss and scarring pain — makes for a good story. A Harvard-worthy story, even.

For students who have experienced genuine adversity, this pressure to package adversity into a palatable narrative can be toxic. The essay risks commodifying hardship, rendering genuinely soul-molding experiences like suffering recurrent homelessness or having orphaned grandparents into shiny narrative baubles to melt down into a Harvard degree. It can make applicants, accepted or not, feel like their admissions outcomes are tied to their most vulnerable experiences. The worst thing that ever happened to you was simply not enough, or alternatively, it was more than enough, and now you get to struggle with traumatized-imposter syndrome.

Moreover, students often feel compelled to end their essays about deep trauma with a statement of victory — a proclamation that they have overcome their problems and are “fit for admission.” Very few have figured life out by age 18. Trauma often sticks with people far longer, and this implicit obligation may make students feel like they “failed” if the pain of their trauma resurfaces during college. Not every bruise heals and not all damage can be undone — but no one wants to read a sob story without a redemption arc.

A similar dynamic is at play in terms of the intensity of the chosen experience: Students feeling for ridges of scars to tear up into prose must be careful to avoid cuts too deep or too shallow. Their trauma mustn’t appear too severe: No college, certainly not Harvard, wants to admit people who could trigger legal liabilities after a bad mental health episode . That is the essay’s twisted pain paradox — students’ trauma must be compelling but not too serious, shocking but not off-putting. Colleges seek the chic not-like-other-students sort of hurt; they want the fun, quirky pain that leaves the main character with a new refreshing perspective at the end of a lackluster indie film. Genuine wounds — the sort that don’t heal overnight or ever, the kind that don’t lead to an uplifting conclusion that ties in beautifully with your interest in Anthropology — are but lawsuits in the waiting .

For students who have not experienced such trauma, the personal essay can trap accuracy in a tug of war with appealing falsities. The desire to appear as a heroic problem-solver can incentivize students to exaggerate or misrepresent details to compete with the compelling stories of others.

We emphatically reject these unspoken premises. Students from marginalized communities don’t owe college admissions offices an inspirational story of nicely packaged drama. They should not bear a disproportionate burden in proving their worthiness.

Why, then, do these pressures exist? How can we account for the multitude of challenging experiences people have without reductionist commodification? How do you value the sharing of deeply personal struggles without incentivizing every acceptance-hungry applicant to offer an adjective-ridden, six-paragraph attempt at psychoanalyzing their terrible childhood?

We don’t have a quick fix, but we must seek a system that preserves openness and mitigates perverse pressures. Other admissions systems around the world, such as the United Kingdom’s UCAS personal statement, tend to emphasize intellectual interest in tandem with personal experience. The Rhodes Scholarship, citing an excessive focus on the “heroic self” in the essays it receives, recently overhauled its prompts to focus more broadly on the themes “self/others/world.” We should pay attention to the nature of the essays that these prompts inspire and see, in time, if their models are worth replicating.

In the meantime, students should understand that neither their hurt nor their college essay defines them — and there are many ways to stand out to admissions officers. If it feels right to write about deeply difficult experiences, do so with the knowledge that they have far more to contribute to a college campus than adversity and hardship.

The issue is not what people can or should write about in their personal statements. Rather, it’s how what admissions officers expect of their applicants distorts the essays they receive, and how the structure of American college admissions can push toward garment-rending oversharing. We must strive for an admissions culture in which students feel truly free to express their identity — to tell a story they want to share, not one their admissions officers want them to. A system where students can feel comfortable that any specific essay topic — devastating or cheerful — will not place them slightly ahead or behind in the mad, mad race toward that cherished acceptance letter.

This staff editorial solely represents the majority view of The Crimson Editorial Board. It is the product of discussions at regular Editorial Board meetings. In order to ensure the impartiality of our journalism, Crimson editors who choose to opine and vote at these meetings are not involved in the reporting of articles on similar topics.

Want to keep up with breaking news? Subscribe to our email newsletter.

• Today's news
• Reviews and deals
• Climate change
• 2024 election
• Fall allergies
• Health news
• Mental health
• Sexual health
• Family health
• So mini ways
• Unapologetically
• Buying guides

Entertainment

• How to Watch
• My watchlist
• Stock market
• Biden economy
• Personal finance
• Stocks: most active
• Stocks: gainers
• Stocks: losers
• Trending tickers
• World indices
• US Treasury bonds
• Top mutual funds
• Highest open interest
• Highest implied volatility
• Currency converter
• Basic materials
• Communication services
• Consumer cyclical
• Consumer defensive
• Financial services
• Industrials
• Real estate
• Mutual funds
• Credit cards
• Credit card rates
• Balance transfer credit cards
• Business credit cards
• Cash back credit cards
• Rewards credit cards
• Travel credit cards
• Checking accounts
• Online checking accounts
• High-yield savings accounts
• Money market accounts
• Personal loans
• Student loans
• Car insurance
• Home buying
• Options pit
• Investment ideas
• Research reports
• Fantasy football
• Pro Pick 'Em
• College Pick 'Em
• Fantasy baseball
• Fantasy hockey
• Fantasy basketball
• Download the app
• Daily fantasy
• Scores and schedules
• GameChannel
• World Baseball Classic
• Premier League
• CONCACAF League
• Champions League
• Motorsports
• Horse racing
• Newsletters

New on Yahoo

• Privacy Dashboard

Pros, Cons of Writing About Challenges in Your College Application Essay

College application essay prompts often ask students to offer an example of a challenge they've faced, followed by a description of what they've learned from that experience. However, candidates often struggle to answer these types of essay questions. Those who have suffered a trauma may have trouble writing about their past because it evokes painful memories. Meanwhile, a person who hasn't endured serious misfortunes might be unsure that any life obstacle they have overcome is substantial enough to be worthy of a college essay.

Undergraduate admissions experts say that one common misconception among college applicants is the idea that they need to write about a tragedy in their college essay in order to become a competitive candidate for a highly selective college .

"First off, it's important for students and parents to remember that college admissions committees aren't holding a competition for who experienced the biggest challenge," said Shirag Shemmassian, an admissions consultant and the founder of Shemmassian Academic Consulting based in San Diego, via email. "In other words, simply having experienced a significant challenge isn't reason enough to write about adversity in a college essay. Conversely, experiencing a moderate challenge may serve as the foundation for a great essay."

[See: 10 Tips to Inspire College Essays .]

Experts also note that adversity-themed college essays are rarely mandatory. In a situation where an essay prompt about personal challenges is one of multiple options, college applicants who'd prefer not to discuss personal difficulties in their application essays can write about something else.

In instances where an essay about overcoming adversity is required, perhaps as a school-specific supplemental college essay that complements the primary college application essay, experts advise thinking broadly about what counts as personal difficulties.

"Adversity is in the eye of the beholder," said Chris Hooker-Haring, the interim vice president for enrollment at Wheaton College in Massachusetts, via email. "For some students, it might be a truly traumatic experience such as the death of a close relative or friend. For other students, it might be the struggle to find a summer job, or the struggle to achieve some important goal -- understand calculus, win a role in the play [or] complete an ambitious service project."

According to Hooker-Haring, the key to success in a hardship-focused college essay is the same as for any other type of college essay: authenticity. "Sincerity, effort and thoughtful self-reflection will usually win the day in whatever subject a student chooses for the college essay."

Account for the Severity of the Challenges You've Faced

Experts urge students mentioning a relatively minor difficulty, such as moving and going to a new school, in an adversity-focused college essay to acknowledge that the magnitude of their difficulty was small in comparison to more serious calamities, such as homelessness.

"I always steer students away from exaggerating the weight of the problems in their lives," said Stacey Brook, the founder and chief advisor at College Essay Advisors, an education consulting company, via email.

Joseph Adegboyega-Edun, a Maryland-based high school counselor, suggests that applicants who have faced enormous obstacles strongly consider using that experience as fodder for a college essay. "I would recommend that students write on this topic if they have overcome unique personal hardships that make anyone ask, 'How could a teenager have overcome this?'" he says.

Colette Coleman, the founder of the Coleman Strategy education business consulting firm who earned her bachelor's degree at Yale University , says that her college application would have been incomplete if she had not mentioned her upbringing with a single mother in a disadvantaged New York City neighborhood.

"My college essays did talk about the challenges I had faced because they were a big part of who I was; the goal of the personal statement was to allow the admissions teams to get to know me, so omitting my adverse circumstances would've been disingenuous," Coleman said via email. "My candor and focus on the solutions to my challenges got me accepted into multiple Ivy League schools."

[See: Infographic: What Makes a Strong College Essay .]

Think Twice Before Writing About an Unresolved Life Crisis

Sarah Fischer, the director of admissions at Grinnell College in Iowa, says that students should only write their essay about adversity if they are prepared to discuss the ways that they overcame that challenge.

"If they are not at a place with this event or circumstance where they can showcase personal growth, I would not recommend writing about it," Fischer said via email.

Deena Maerowitz, a partner and principal with The Bertram Group educational consulting firm in Connecticut, recommends that students struggling with an eating disorder, addiction or mental illness for which they are currently receiving inpatient treatment take caution before discussing the topic in their essay. "There's more to you than this one experience, and I want the colleges to know that about you," says Maerowitz, who has a master's degree in social work.

On the other hand, college hopefuls who have made a meaningful recovery from either of these three health ailments should feel free to discuss that recovery in the essay, assuming that they have been in stable health for a significant period of time, Maerowitz says.

Andrew Belasco, the CEO of College Transitions, an Atlanta-based admissions consulting firm, says that college essays about mental health issues can impress admissions officers. "I think those really personal issues can provide for really compelling essays, but provided that students can articulate why their condition or illness has made them a better applicant and potentially a better student," he says. Students who have struggled with mental health may be able to powerfully convey in their essay how their battle has made them a more sensitive, thoughtful and resilient person. After all, discussing mental health in a college admissions essay requires an admirable amount of courage and "a willingness to be vulnerable," which some college admissions officers will greatly appreciate, he says.

Belasco adds that some students with conditions like obsessive-compulsive disorder write contrarian college essays about how their unique way of thinking actually helps them with academics. "In many contexts, having these conditions can be an asset," he says. "It's not that... struggles don't come along with it, but there are certain types of majors, fields [and] occupational pathways where being a little obsessive, being a little compulsive can really bring out the best in someone [and] can really be an advantage."

Still, it's important to consider whether writing about a personal hardship will be anxiety-inducing. Coleman notes that there was one childhood incident she found too upsetting to write a college essay about -- the sudden death of her father when she was seven years old. She advises college applicants to steer clear of writing about problems that make them feel overwhelmed and emotional. "If the requirement is just [to] write about an adverse experience or a challenging situation, and they're still processing their grief or their trauma over that situation, I would not write about that actually," she says.

Reveal Something Authentic About Your Character

Laura Stratton, director of admission at Scripps College in Claremont, California, says that one common mistake college applicants make in essays about adversity is that they solely focus on recounting the incident and forget to convey their personality.

"As with any essay topic, the student should always ask: What do I want the readers to know about ME when they finish reading this?" Stratton wrote via email. "Then, work backwards to write the essay. Excessive attention to detail or a play-by-play timeline isn't necessary -- instead, an applicant should remember that we want to get to know them as a person -- the personal essay is often a great way to do this."

Stratton says that applicants who are writing about a misfortune that affected a friend or family member, such as a tragic illness, should remember that their essay needs to not only include an interesting description of their loved one, but also provide a compelling self-portrait. She says that one of the best essays about adversity she's read was an essay written by a female college applicant whose single parent was sent to prison. The applicant wrote about what she learned from this painful experience. "There are a few essays that stay with you and that's one of the ones," Stratton says.

[Read: How to Write a College Essay .]

"Insight and maturity gained from a difficult life experience is more important to highlight than 'I have it all figured out now,'" Stratton wrote via email. "We don't expect a student to be perfect -- we just want to get to know them through the personal essay."

Searching for a college? Get our complete rankings of Best Colleges.

Ilana Kowarski is an education reporter at U.S. News, covering graduate schools. You can reach her via email at [email protected] .

Recommended Stories

Wnba draft winners and losers: as you may have guessed, the fever did pretty well. the liberty perhaps not.

Here are five franchises who stood out, for better or for worse.

Report: Jets trading QB Zach Wilson to Broncos

Wilson's starting over in Denver.

Based on the odds, here's what the top 10 picks of the NFL Draft will be

What would a mock draft look like using just betting odds?

NFL mock draft: With one major trade-up, it's a QB party in the top 5

Our final 2024 mock draft projects four quarterbacks in the first five picks, but the Cardinals at No. 4 might represent the key pivot point of the entire board.

Here’s when people think old age begins — and why experts think it’s starting later

People's definition of "old age" is older than it used to be, new research suggests.

Yankees' Nestor Cortés told by MLB his pump-fake pitch is illegal

Cortés' attempt didn't fool Andrés Giménez, who fouled off the pitch.

Dave McCarty, player on 2004 Red Sox championship team, dies 1 week after team's reunion

The Red Sox were already mourning the loss of Tim Wakefield from that 2004 team.

Chiefs make Andy Reid NFL's highest-paid coach, sign president Mark Donovan, GM Brett Veach to extensions

Reid's deal reportedly runs through 2029 and makes him the highest-paid coach in the NFL.

Ryan Garcia drops Devin Haney 3 times en route to stunning upset

The 25-year-old labeled "mentally fragile" by many delivered the upset for the ages.

Pass or Fail: Broncos release 'Mile High Collection,' first new uniforms in over 25 years

The Broncos may have committed the greatest fashion faux pas there is: being boring.

The new Ford Mustang's V8 is available as a crate engine

Ford offers the new Mustang's updated 5.0-liter Coyote V8 as a crate engine, and it also sells a supercharger kit that unlocks a total of 810 horsepower.

Yankees manager Aaron Boone ejected after fan mouths off to home plate umpire

You don't see an ejection like this every day.

Oakland University outfielders combine to make spectacular catch vs. Northern Kentucky

Oakland University outfielders John Lauinger and Reggie Bussey combined on what could be college baseball's best catch of the 2024 season against Northern Kentucky.

Robert Kraft reportedly warned Falcons owner Arthur Blank not to trust Bill Belichick during head coach interviews

Bill Belichick's former boss Robert Kraft reportedly tanked his chances of getting hired as the Falcons head coach.

Arch Manning dominates in the Texas spring game, and Jaden Rashada enters the transfer portal

Dan Wetzel, Ross Dellenger & SI’s Pat Forde react to the huge performance this weekend by Texas QB Arch Manning, Michigan and Notre Dame's spring games, Jaden Rashada entering the transfer portal, and more

The 10 car brands most expensive to maintain over 10 years

Consumer Reports' ranking of the most- and least-expensive vehicles sounds a concerning alarm bell about a few European brands.

Anthony Davis fed up with not winning Defensive Player of the Year: 'The league doesn't like me'

Does Davis have a DPOY case? The Lakers' star definitely thinks so.

Arch Manning puts on a show in Texas' spring game, throwing for 3 touchdowns

Arch Manning gave Texas football fans an enticing look at the future, throwing for 355 yards and three touchdowns in the Longhorns' Orange-White spring game.

A rare 'devil comet' will reach peak brightness this weekend. Here's how you can see it.

On Sunday, the rare devil comet will reach its closest point to the sun, creating an illuminating sky show. Here is how skygazers can watch it.

Tom Brady will be mercilessly mocked in Netflix's 'Greatest Roast of All Time' comedy special

Get ready for a lot of jokes about Tom Brady never eating strawberries and divorcing one of the most successful supermodels in history.

Kevin McMullin

College admissions advice for students, parents, and counselors, ask collegewise: should i write my college essay about a hardship.

September 19, 2011 by Kevin McMullin

Jason asks,

I’ve heard that colleges want to know if you’ve experienced any hardships, and I’m thinking about writing my essay about my parents’ divorce.  Is that a good idea?  Or is that too common?”

It's a good question, Jason.  I don't know the circumstances of your parents' divorce so it's hard for me to say if that's the right topic for you.  But here are a few things any student should know when you're considering writing about a hardship.

1.  Don't write about a hardship just because you think it will give you an advantage.

A lot of students think that a hardship gives you some kind of automatic admissions advantage.  And unfortunately, that means way, way too many essays are submitted about hardships that weren’t actually all that hard.  I don’t want to sound cold here, but “When my grandmother died, it taught me to appreciate life more,” is pretty cliché in the world of college essays.  If you’ve faced something difficult, something that affected you deeply, especially something that impacted your education in some way, colleges will want to know about it.  But for students who haven’t, don’t manufacture hardship.  Instead, tell a different story.

2.  Remember that the college essay has to be about you.

You don’t need to write an essay about divorce to convince admissions officers that a divorce is difficult for a student.  Your college essays have to be about you.  They have to help admissions officers get to know you better in ways that they never could have known from the rest of the application.

One of our Collegewise students wrote her essay about her parents’ divorce.  But only two sentences of the essay had to do with the divorce.  The rest of the essay was about a major change in the student’s life when she went to live with her father.  She didn’t want to change schools because she was afraid of losing credits and falling behind.  So she got up at 5 a.m. every day, took a train and two buses for two hours to get to school, then repeated that at the end of the day.  And surprisingly, she got the best GPA of her life because she spent all that time on the trains and buses studying.  So while the divorce was part of the essay, the story was all about her.

3.    Maintain your perspective.

It’s important to be thankful for what you have and to remember that lots of other people aren’t so lucky.  I mention this because when a student writes an essay about switching schools when her father changed jobs, and that essay treats having to say goodbye to her friends as if it were a devastating tragedy, it paints that student as being a little immature.  Saying goodbye to friends is painful.  But if your dad still has a job, and that job is going to pay for you to go to college, and everyone in your family is still healthy, you’re a lot better off than a lot of other students.  It doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to really miss your friends, but you’ve got to be able to differentiate disappointment from real hardship. 

4.    Use all the parts of the application .

You might not need to write an entire essay to explain a hardship.  A lot of colleges have a section on the application that allows you to share anything that didn’t fit in the other spaces, or to describe any circumstances that affected your education.  If a student writes:

“In February of my junior year, I broke my leg in a soccer game and had to keep my leg in traction for six weeks.  I had my younger brother bring me all of my assignments from school, and my teachers let me do take home exams so I wouldn’t fall behind…”

How much more really needs to be said?  An admissions officer knows the important facts.  If there was a slight dip in your grades second semester of your junior year, colleges can now put that situation in context.  You don’t need an entire essay to explain it to them.

5.  Try the best friend litmus test.

Great college essays are the kinds that when your best friend reads them, he or she says, “This is totally you.”  You only get limited space on the application to share what you want to share about yourself.  So don’t waste it trying to wedge in a hardship just because you think that’s a good strategy.  Pick a topic that actually means something to you, something that you’d be excited to share, that hasn’t been described in detail elsewhere on the application, and that would pass the best friend litmus test.  If the story that fits the criteria is a hardship, go ahead and share it.  But if not, be thankful that you’ve had a pretty good life, and share another story about it.

Thanks for your question, Jason.  If you've got a question of your own, email us at blog [at] collegewise [dot] com .  If we pick yours, we'll answer it here on our blog.

And you can find even more advice in our video, “ How to Write Great College Essays .”  It’s $12.99 and available as a streaming download.

Tips for Writing an Effective Application Essay

Find the right college for you.

Writing an essay for college admission gives you a chance to use your authentic voice and show your personality. It's an excellent opportunity to personalize your application beyond your academic credentials, and a well-written essay can have a positive influence come decision time.

Want to know how to draft an essay for your college application ? Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing.

Tips for Essay Writing

A typical college application essay, also known as a personal statement, is 400-600 words. Although that may seem short, writing about yourself can be challenging. It's not something you want to rush or put off at the last moment. Think of it as a critical piece of the application process. Follow these tips to write an impactful essay that can work in your favor.

1. Start Early.

Few people write well under pressure. Try to complete your first draft a few weeks before you have to turn it in. Many advisers recommend starting as early as the summer before your senior year in high school. That way, you have ample time to think about the prompt and craft the best personal statement possible.

You don't have to work on your essay every day, but you'll want to give yourself time to revise and edit. You may discover that you want to change your topic or think of a better way to frame it. Either way, the sooner you start, the better.

2. Understand the Prompt and Instructions.

Before you begin the writing process, take time to understand what the college wants from you. The worst thing you can do is skim through the instructions and submit a piece that doesn't even fit the bare minimum requirements or address the essay topic. Look at the prompt, consider the required word count, and note any unique details each school wants.

3. Create a Strong Opener.

Students seeking help for their application essays often have trouble getting things started. It's a challenging writing process. Finding the right words to start can be the hardest part.

Spending more time working on your opener is always a good idea. The opening sentence sets the stage for the rest of your piece. The introductory paragraph is what piques the interest of the reader, and it can immediately set your essay apart from the others.

4. Stay on Topic.

One of the most important things to remember is to keep to the essay topic. If you're applying to 10 or more colleges, it's easy to veer off course with so many application essays.

A common mistake many students make is trying to fit previously written essays into the mold of another college's requirements. This seems like a time-saving way to avoid writing new pieces entirely, but it often backfires. The result is usually a final piece that's generic, unfocused, or confusing. Always write a new essay for every application, no matter how long it takes.

5. Think About Your Response.

Don't try to guess what the admissions officials want to read. Your essay will be easier to write─and more exciting to read─if you’re genuinely enthusiastic about your subject. Here’s an example: If all your friends are writing application essays about covid-19, it may be a good idea to avoid that topic, unless during the pandemic you had a vivid, life-changing experience you're burning to share. Whatever topic you choose, avoid canned responses. Be creative.

6. Focus on You.

Essay prompts typically give you plenty of latitude, but panel members expect you to focus on a subject that is personal (although not overly intimate) and particular to you. Admissions counselors say the best essays help them learn something about the candidate that they would never know from reading the rest of the application.

7. Stay True to Your Voice.

Use your usual vocabulary. Avoid fancy language you wouldn't use in real life. Imagine yourself reading this essay aloud to a classroom full of people who have never met you. Keep a confident tone. Be wary of words and phrases that undercut that tone.

8. Be Specific and Factual.

Capitalize on real-life experiences. Your essay may give you the time and space to explain why a particular achievement meant so much to you. But resist the urge to exaggerate and embellish. Admissions counselors read thousands of essays each year. They can easily spot a fake.

9. Edit and Proofread.

When you finish the final draft, run it through the spell checker on your computer. Then don’t read your essay for a few days. You'll be more apt to spot typos and awkward grammar when you reread it. After that, ask a teacher, parent, or college student (preferably an English or communications major) to give it a quick read. While you're at it, double-check your word count.

Writing essays for college admission can be daunting, but it doesn't have to be. A well-crafted essay could be the deciding factor─in your favor. Keep these tips in mind, and you'll have no problem creating memorable pieces for every application.

What is the format of a college application essay?

Generally, essays for college admission follow a simple format that includes an opening paragraph, a lengthier body section, and a closing paragraph. You don't need to include a title, which will only take up extra space. Keep in mind that the exact format can vary from one college application to the next. Read the instructions and prompt for more guidance.

Most online applications will include a text box for your essay. If you're attaching it as a document, however, be sure to use a standard, 12-point font and use 1.5-spaced or double-spaced lines, unless the application specifies different font and spacing.

How do you start an essay?

The goal here is to use an attention grabber. Think of it as a way to reel the reader in and interest an admissions officer in what you have to say. There's no trick on how to start a college application essay. The best way you can approach this task is to flex your creative muscles and think outside the box.

You can start with openers such as relevant quotes, exciting anecdotes, or questions. Either way, the first sentence should be unique and intrigue the reader.

What should an essay include?

Every application essay you write should include details about yourself and past experiences. It's another opportunity to make yourself look like a fantastic applicant. Leverage your experiences. Tell a riveting story that fulfills the prompt.

What shouldn’t be included in an essay?

When writing a college application essay, it's usually best to avoid overly personal details and controversial topics. Although these topics might make for an intriguing essay, they can be tricky to express well. If you’re unsure if a topic is appropriate for your essay, check with your school counselor. An essay for college admission shouldn't include a list of achievements or academic accolades either. Your essay isn’t meant to be a rehashing of information the admissions panel can find elsewhere in your application.

How can you make your essay personal and interesting?

The best way to make your essay interesting is to write about something genuinely important to you. That could be an experience that changed your life or a valuable lesson that had an enormous impact on you. Whatever the case, speak from the heart, and be honest.

Is it OK to discuss mental health in an essay?

Mental health struggles can create challenges you must overcome during your education and could be an opportunity for you to show how you’ve handled challenges and overcome obstacles. If you’re considering writing your essay for college admission on this topic, consider talking to your school counselor or with an English teacher on how to frame the essay.

Related Articles

If you're seeing this message, it means we're having trouble loading external resources on our website.

If you're behind a web filter, please make sure that the domains *.kastatic.org and *.kasandbox.org are unblocked.

To log in and use all the features of Khan Academy, please enable JavaScript in your browser.

College admissions

Course: college admissions   >   unit 4.

• Writing a strong college admissions essay
• Avoiding common admissions essay mistakes
• Brainstorming tips for your college essay
• How formal should the tone of your college essay be?
• Taking your college essay to the next level
• Sample essay 1 with admissions feedback
• Sample essay 2 with admissions feedback
• Student story: Admissions essay about a formative experience
• Student story: Admissions essay about personal identity
• Student story: Admissions essay about community impact
• Student story: Admissions essay about a past mistake
• Student story: Admissions essay about a meaningful poem

Writing tips and techniques for your college essay

Pose a question the reader wants answered, don't focus exclusively on the past, experiment with the unexpected, don't summarize.

Essay on Hardship In Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on Hardship In Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

Understanding hardship.

Hardship is a tough time or difficulty that we face in life. It can be a problem, loss, or failure. It’s a part of life that all people, young or old, have to face. It can be hard, but it’s not always bad. It helps us grow and become stronger.

Types of Hardships

There are many types of hardships. Some people may face problems with money, health, or family. Some may have to deal with loss or failure. Each hardship is different, but they all test our strength and patience.

Hardship and Growth

Hardship can make us stronger. When we face problems, we learn to solve them. We learn to be patient and to keep trying. This helps us grow and become better people. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Dealing with Hardship

We can deal with hardship in many ways. We can talk to others, ask for help, or find ways to solve our problems. It’s important to stay positive and keep trying. Remember, every problem has a solution.

In conclusion, hardship is a part of life. It can be tough, but it also helps us grow. We can learn to deal with it and become stronger. So, don’t be afraid of hardship. It’s a chance to learn and grow.

250 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

Hardship is a part of life that everyone experiences at some point. It’s like a tough test or a big problem that we need to solve. Hardship can make us feel sad, confused, or even angry. But, it’s important to remember that hardship can also help us grow and become stronger.

Types of Hardship

There are many types of hardship. Some people might face hardship in their family, like a sick relative. Others might face hardship at school, like a tough exam or bullying. Some people might even face hardship in their community, like poverty or violence. These hardships are not easy to handle, but they are a part of life.

Learning from Hardship

Even though hardship is tough, it can also teach us valuable lessons. It can teach us how to be brave, how to solve problems, and how to help others. For example, if we face a tough exam, we can learn how to study better. If we face bullying, we can learn how to stand up for ourselves. If we face poverty, we can learn how to work hard and save money.

Overcoming Hardship

Overcoming hardship is not easy, but it is possible. We can overcome hardship by asking for help, by working hard, and by staying positive. For example, if we are facing a tough exam, we can ask our teachers for help. If we are facing bullying, we can tell a trusted adult. If we are facing poverty, we can look for ways to earn and save money.

In conclusion, hardship is a tough part of life, but it can also help us grow and become stronger. So, next time you face hardship, remember that you are not alone and that you can overcome it.

500 Words Essay on Hardship In Life

Hardship is a tough part of life that everyone faces. It is like a big challenge or a difficult time that makes life hard. People may face hardships because of many reasons. Some people may not have enough money, while others may have problems in their family or at school. Even though hardships can be very tough, they are a part of life.

There are many types of hardships that people face. Some people may have to work very hard to earn money for their family. This can be very hard because they may not have enough time to rest or do things they enjoy. Others may face hardships in school, like having trouble with their studies or not getting along with their classmates. Some people may also face hardships because of health problems. They may have to go to the hospital often or take medicine every day.

Dealing with Hardships

Even though hardships can be very tough, it is important to remember that they are not forever. There are many ways to deal with hardships. One way is to ask for help. If you are having trouble with your studies, you can ask your teacher for help. If you are having problems with your friends, you can talk to your parents or a trusted adult about it. It is also important to stay positive. Even though things may be hard now, they will get better.

Learning from Hardships

Hardships can also teach us many things. They can teach us to be strong and to never give up. When we face a hardship, we learn to solve problems and to work hard. This can help us in the future when we face other challenges. Hardships can also teach us to be thankful for the good things in our life. When we face a hardship, we realize how important our family and friends are.

In conclusion, hardships are a part of life. They can be very tough, but they can also teach us many things. It is important to remember that hardships are not forever and that there are many ways to deal with them. So, if you are facing a hardship, remember to ask for help, stay positive, and learn from it.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Harela Festival
• Essay on Harappan Civilization
• Essay on Hardest Decision In Life

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

Happy studying!

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.

• SUGGESTED TOPICS
• The Magazine
• Newsletters
• Managing Yourself
• Managing Teams
• Work-life Balance
• The Big Idea
• Data & Visuals
• Reading Lists
• Case Selections
• HBR Learning
• Topic Feeds
• Account Settings
• Email Preferences

How to Write a Personal Essay for Your College Application

What does it take to land in the “accept” (instead of “reject”) pile?

How can you write an essay that helps advance you in the eyes of the admissions officers and makes a real impression? Here are some tips to get you started.

• Start early.  Do not leave it until the last minute. Give yourself time when you don’t have other homework or extracurriculars hanging over your head to work on the essay.
• Keep the focus narrow.  Your essay does not have to cover a massive, earth-shattering event. Some people in their teens haven’t experienced a major life event. Some people have. Either way, it’s okay.
• Be yourself.  Whether writing about a painful experience or a more simple experience, use the narrative to be vulnerable and honest about who you are. Use words you would normally use. Trust your voice and the fact that your story is interesting enough in that no one else has lived it.
• Be creative.  “Show, don’t tell,” and that applies here — to an extent. The best essays typically do both. You can help your reader see and feel what you are describing by using some figurative language throughout your piece.
• Make a point. As you finish your final body paragraphs ask yourself “So what?” This will help you hone in on how to end your essay in a way that elevates it into a story about an insight or discovery you made about yourself, rather than just being about an experience you had.

Where your work meets your life. See more from Ascend here .

We’ve all heard about the dreaded “college essay,” the bane of every high school senior’s existence. This daunting element of the college application is something that can create angst for even the most accomplished students.

• AA Amy Allen is a writer, educator, and lifelong learner. Her freelance writing business,  All of the Write Words , focuses on providing high school students with one-on-one feedback to guide them through the college application process and with crafting a thoughtful personal essay. A dedicated poet, Amy’s work has also been published in several journals including  Pine Row Press ,  Months to Years,  and  Atlanta Review .

Partner Center

How Does One Write a Hardship Letter for Scholarships?

How to Answer Financial Need Questions on Scholarships

The expense of higher education makes it difficult for many aspiring students to attend college. One option for reducing costs is obtaining scholarships that take into account financial need. Most programs offering these awards require you to write a hardship letter describing your circumstances. Crafting a well-written document which sincerely explains your dilemma in affording tuition can persuade those charged with distributing scholarship money to help you.

Brainstorm on a blank sheet of paper what you wish to impart to the scholarship committee. Set a timer for five minutes in which you hand-write about your financial situation, your desire to attend a specific university or college, what you hope to accomplish by obtaining higher education and how you will give back in the future. This short session of free writing will provide the notes you need to draft your letter.

Format your letter in a professional style. This requires you to place your address at the top right corner of your paper. The recipient's address should be a double space below on the left side of the document. Skip two more lines and position the date on the left side. Drop down another double space and begin your narrative with "Greetings" or "Hello."

Appeal to your readers with a brief, but vivid, description of your circumstances. Use your notes to help you create a first paragraph that pinpoints your need. Do not be melodramatic but do use active language to "show" rather than simply "tell" your story. This will help readers feel as if they know you, so they will be more interested in providing you with aid.

Document your plans for the future in your second body paragraph. Talk about what you will study, why you think it suits you and how you will use this knowledge to better yourself and others. For example, if you want to study fashion design, tell your audience how you hope to create clothing that is durable, affordable and stylish to help economically struggling individuals feel confident in job interviews.

Express your thankfulness in a humble way in your last body paragraph. Show your appreciation to those taking the time to consider you for financial assistance. Cite your knowledge and understanding of the value of the gift they help provide to those desiring to go to college.

Proofread your letter for grammatical and spelling mistakes. Read it aloud to a peer who can give you constructive feedback. Revise based on good advice you receive. Rewrite your letter neatly if it is handwritten to make sure it is legible.

Do not attempt to elicit pity for your situation. Instead focus on writing a letter that genuinely documents your need and why it exists so that readers empathize rather than sympathize with you.

Related Articles

Proper Format for a Thank You Letter for a Scholarship

How to Write a Thank You Note for a Memorial Donation

How to End a Scholarship Letter

How to Write a Scholarship Form

Things to Put on College Scholarship Applications to Help Your Chances

How to Write a Scholarship Letter

Do You Receive the Rest of the Federal Pell Grant After Paying for ...

• Writing Help Central: How To Write A Financial Hardship Letter
• Using English: How to Write Formal Letters

Lisa Mooney has been a professional writer for more than 18 years. She has worked with various clients including many Fortune 500 companies such as Pinkerton Inc. She has written for many publications including Woman's World, Boy's Life and Dark Horizons. Mooney holds bachelor's degrees in both English and biology from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte.

• Campus Culture
• High School
• Top Schools

How 5 First Generation Students Transformed Hardship Into Opportunity

• college student
• first generation
• college application essays
• essay intros
• essay topic

Writing a compelling personal statement is hard. These 5 first-generation applicants tapped into deeply personal experiences and allowed their authentic voices to shine. It’s no wonder they were accepted to  UPenn , Wesleyan , Harvard , UCLA and UCF . 

Harvard ‘18

I live in a single-parent home, with my mother and little sister. My father died when was I as two years old, and it has been a struggle. I have never had a true, male role model in my life. It has been hard growing up without truly knowing how to be a man. Despite that, my mother and grandmother have been there to raise me. My mother tells me that she is my mother and father; that is true to some degree. At the end of the day, there is still a hole that has not been filled. I do not let the hole hold me back from pursuing and accomplishing my goals. My grandmother tells me that I may not have an earthly father, but I definitely have a heavenly father. That is reassuring, because I know that there is always someone watching me and I believe that my heavenly father teaches me how to be a man. Read on . 

“I feel good! Oh, I feel so good!” I shouted out at the top of my lungs as a member that I serve asked about my well-being. I always felt awkward responding in this particular manner, but it is all in good spirit of promoting positivity and altruism within our daily schedule. Occasionally, my neighboring peers would get embarrassed by me and would keep their distance, but I stand my ground, completing the chant to its entirety and finishing it off with a scream. Keep reading . 

Many of the language challenges my parents face in America on a daily basis are easily solved if I am around to interpret, which was why I never really considered their language barrier as a hardship. Unlike my parents, when I lived in China, I did not always have interpreters by my side to assist me when my Mandarin failed me, which caused many unfortunate misunderstandings. My six weeks in China, although minuscule compared to the time my parents have spent in America, helped me appreciate my family’s cultural background and my parents for all they have done to raise my sister and me in a foreign country. View full profile . 

I was only nine months old when my parents decided to uproot their lives and travel overseas from Nicaragua to Florida, in hopes of anticipating everything the Land of Opportunity had to offer a pair of newlyweds and their infant son. Having been raised in a small home where I watched my parents come home from working their minimum wage jobs, I was taught firsthand the value of perseverance and the significance of dedication. Continue reading . 

Wesleyan ‘19

The harsh scent of Windex filled my nose while I whipped the damp paper towel across the arched windows. My mom called out, “Camilla, why aren’t you finished with the windows. We still have lots of work before we can leave for the day.” Hesitantly, I picked up more paper towels to cover with gallons of Windex and quickly finished the rest of the windows until they were crystal clear. My mother, beside me, was sweeping up a combination of dust, dirt and a few bugs here and there, weeks worth of grime buildup. When I finally finished the windows I urged my mother to agree that that the house was clean enough to leave; however apparently it wasn’t clean enough to earn my mother’s approval. So we kept wiping, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming and sweating. Once the sun began to set, around 7 o’clock, my mother decided she was done for the day. However, my day would not stop until sometime past midnight; I still had biology homework to finish. Read more . 

Choosing where to go to college is an incredibly important decision. Make an informed choice by talking to current students on our  mentorship platform . Access 60,000+ successful  college application files  uploaded by college students (they get paid when you view them). AdmitSee is a community of students helping students. Our goal is to bring much-needed transparency to higher education. 

About The Author

Frances was born in Hong Kong and received her bachelor’s degree from Georgetown University. She loves super sad drama television, cooking, and reading. Her favorite person on Earth isn’t actually a member of the AdmitSee team - it’s her dog Cooper.

Browse Successful Application Files

Last week, Prompt's CEO shared what mistakes to avoid in your college essay. In Part 2 of this two-part blog series, learn how to pick an essay topic. The key: focus on an admissions officer’s...

With an otherwise great college application, how important can college essays really be? When only 1 in 5 students applying to selective colleges have compelling essays, make sure you avoid this essay mistake....

In this second part of his two-part series, college admissions coach Justin Taylor explains key admissions lessons from 2020, an unprecedented year of firsts, that can help you strategize as we enter into this next application...

In Part one of this two-part series, college admissions coach Justin Taylor explains key lessons about 2020, “a year like no other,” that could seriously boost your chances in 2021, including smarter list building and transcript GPA...

We are so excited to announce that for this year’s scholarship, we selected five scholarship winners to maximize the impact of our $5,000 college scholarship prize money....

• 1. Webinar Series: College Application Prep for High School Juniors
• 2. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 3. College Admissions Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 1)

• 5. COVID-19 and Your College Essay: Should You Write About It?
• 6. College Search: How to Find Your Best College Fit
• 7. College Tours 101: Everything You Need to Know
• 8. Waitlisted? 5 Ways to Move from the College Waitlist to Acceptance
• 9. When (and why) should you send additional materials to colleges you’re interested in?
• 10. How to Make Your College Essay Stand Out
• 1. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 2: Focusing the Priority
• 2. How to Write College Essays to Boost your Chances Part 1: Biggest Essay Mistakes
• 3. College Application Lessons from 2020-2021: Strategizing through Covid Changes (Part 2)
• 5. Winners of the AdmitSee 2020 College Scholarship
• 6. COVID-19 and Your College Essay: Should You Write About It?
• 7. Education, Access and Systemic Racism
• 8. Applying to BS/MD Direct Medical Programs: Why Early Med School Admission Might be Right for You
• 9. How to Get Off the College Waitlist (5 Go-To Strategies)
• 10. College admissions prep during the Coronavirus

You may opt out or contact us anytime.

Zócalo Podcasts

Your Family Tragedy Won’t Get You Into College

I’ve spent 13 years helping kids write admissions essays. here’s where they go wrong..

by Allison Deegan | November 20, 2014

November is National College Application Month (yes, there is such a thing), and for millions of students–and their parents–urgent deadlines loom. Applications for University of California and California State University campuses are due November 30. Anxiety is at an all-time high for students as they tackle one of their applications’ greatest challenges–one I know too well–the personal statement.

For the past 13 years, as both a paid consultant and volunteer mentor, I’ve guided college applicants in Los Angeles through the process of planning and writing their personal statements. My advice for all of them is founded on two simple principles: write it yourself and write it about yourself. It may seem obvious, but it’s a difficult feat to pull off right.

The canned prompts admissions offices require of all applicants don’t help. In response to a question about her favorite book, one of my students, a very high achiever from South Los Angeles, chose Madame Bovary . It made for an essay that was easy to write and that seemed to reveal a few things about her: She was brilliant (which she was), she was studious (which she was), and she would do well in college (which she would, and did).

The problem was the essay didn’t say anything about who she was, although I did give her points for not selecting, as many of my students have, one of the volumes from the Harry Potter series as a favorite. (Liking one of the most popular books ever published is not going to distinguish you from millions of others!) To get a better topic, I asked her, “What do you do?” After asking and re-asking this question a few times, a few different ways, she told me about how, as a middle schooler, she figured out how to get herself permitted into a highly ranked high school, so she would be better prepared for college. Realizing that the kids in her neighborhood could benefit from that same opportunity, she started an after-school program to raise their awareness of transfer opportunities, and mentored seven kids through the process. She did this on her own, with no adult supervision.

Now that was the stuff of a real personal statement. This student ended up attending an Ivy League school on a full scholarship and is currently applying to law school.

If some students pick themes that are too inconsequential, others err to the opposite extreme. Somewhere along the way, high school seniors have become convinced that if they haven’t split the atom or won Olympic gold, their life experiences are too pedestrian to stand as representations of who they are and what they might bring to a college campus. Many attempt to attach themselves to some grand endeavor, movement, or philosophy that has nothing to do with who they are or what they actually do in real life. They write about being part of something larger, so they will seem larger, which works in fending off mountain lions, but not college admissions essays.

One very bright student I worked with attended a prominent private high school in the San Fernando Valley and earned top grades. She identified herself as a writer and always earned praise for her school essays. However, she did not possess a doctorate in media studies. Whoever wrote her personal statement likely did hold that degree, as it included statements about how advertising in media served to embed capitalist ideology in viewers’ minds and included citations!

Note to parents: adult-written personal statements can be spotted a mile away! Plus, the student wanted to go to film school (presumably to make art, not remap neurological perceptions of commercial messaging), and said very little in the personal statement about what courses she wanted to study or what kind of career she wanted afterward. The student did not gain acceptance at any of the highly competitive film schools in the Los Angeles area. Had the essay been written about a film she worked on, its aesthetic sensibility, the pivotal moment when she knew she wanted to communicate and contribute through film, it might have been compelling.

Several well-meaning teachers and other adult guides reviewed the essays from each of these students before I saw them and pronounced them very well written and appropriate for college applications. And that’s part of the problem, too. Teenagers receive many different messages, mostly from us adults, about what is appropriate or interesting to write about. Often the adults are wrong. They’re not thinking of themselves as harried readers in college admissions offices who have little capacity to read a full (even if it’s brief!) essay with careful attention.

I tell all my students to think of the admissions process as if it were a dinner party. If everyone invited was incredibly smart but exactly the same, the party would be boring and possibly a failure. A robust, entertaining, memorable, and even important dinner party needs depth, diversity, variety, surprise and, most importantly, potential. Potential for what? That’s the fun (if hard to define) part: potential for whatever each individual guest may bring.

Along these lines, there are some topics–like most common dinner party fodder–that are difficult to make fresh, no matter how well written. I wish applicants would avoid writing about that one special camper they helped, the transformative nature of their volunteer work at a nursing home, how eye-opening it was to clean the river that one day, how much they admire their parents (who are almost always great people but rarely seem admirable to those outside the family), how proud they were the first time they drove on the freeway, how much they really, really, really want to attend a particular school, why they hate or love the president, or the governor, or, once, the vice president (because he had to try harder, just like the student did!).

The essay shouldn’t include a laundry list of challenges or even tragedies students have survived with no reflection on what these events have contributed to the people they are today. The least fun part of being a college admissions guide is telling someone his or her family tragedy is not interesting enough to get that person into college. It should be, and it could be, if the student interprets for the reader what she learned because of it. Everyone encounters challenges, but the way a challenge shapes a person is the ultimate decoder ring.

Of course, I know the advice of any one college admissions coach can’t make or break a student’s future. There are many factors–grades, test scores, application pool trends and volume, income–not within the control of the coach or sometimes even the student. I tell my students they’ll be OK, and they always are. And I tell them that they are enough, right now, at the moment they sit down to write their personal statements. They have the best material already, in their heads and in their lives. They just need to get it onto the page–and then make sure to check it for spelling and punctuation.

Need more? A step-by-step guide is here .

Send A Letter To the Editors

Please tell us your thoughts. Include your name and daytime phone number, and a link to the article you’re responding to. We may edit your letter for length and clarity and publish it on our site.

(Optional) Attach an image to your letter. Jpeg, PNG or GIF accepted, 1MB maximum.

By continuing to use our website, you agree to our privacy and cookie policy . Zócalo wants to hear from you. Please take our survey !-->

Get More Zócalo

No paywall. No ads. No partisan hacks. Ideas journalism with a head and a heart.

Essay on Hardship?

I have an essay with the prompt "Discuss any obstacles and/or hardships you have encountered and how you dealt with them. "

I have seen some essays talking about hardships like poverty, family problems, illnesses, etc, but none of that has happened to me. Could I write about a hardship that isn’t really “life-changing”, but still an obstacle I had to overcome? Something simple?

No–it will seem contrived

It totally depends! I once read an essay about a guy I know who was navigating a cranberry muffin, using the cranberries as a metaphor for obstacles, it was a very descriptive and witty essay. While I personally enjoyed reading it, of course, these types of essays are risky. However I also read an essay that was about a girl talking about how she lost a friend, but honestly, she sounded extremely whiny and pathetic. If you are writing about something that genuinely changed you, definitely speak authentically about the experience and the qualities you possess to overcome it, but in the essay, you should “recognize your privilege” if you know what I mean. Another example is a guy who got a job working in a restaurant but could not figure out how to work the coffee machine, his obstacle was that he learned how: again, it was witty but had a deeper meaning… he talked about how he learned in his first job how to figure things out on his own, his new found independence, it was also very descriptive and funny. Anyway… my point is that you can take anything and create a good essay as long as you approach it in a certain way. Definitely, don’t feel threatened by other people who have had more obstacles to face, admissions counselors don’t expect every high school kid to have faced some great loss or tragedy. Write away, good luck! (Feel free to message me privately if you want to discuss your actual topic).

Maybe you should be honest in your essay and just say that you haven’t had any obstacles (if that’s the truth).

The vast majority of 18 year old kids applying to colleges are very fortunate in that they haven’t had to face major, life altering hardships.

And the adcoms know that.

So, yes. Absolutely write about an obstacle that is not major. Write from the heart. And remember: the purpose is to get them to admit you.

try proverbs from the bible on hardship

Another perspective might be that one who has never faced and dealt with hardships or obstacles might not be ready for college.

I fretted about this too, especially framed among others with priviledge. My conversers were pretty unified in saying that it’s not the obstacle, it’s how you overcame it. I think if the paragraph is earnest and not written just to write something, then it will be good.

The most important thing is to describe how the obstacle changed you into a better person or made you realize something you never noticed before.

Basically such a prompt wants you to share how difficulty has affected you; how did it make you become the person who you are today & how did it affect your view of the world.

POPULAR STATES

Search sat scores, search act scores, search gpa’s, subscribe to our newsletter.

Stay informed with the latest from the CC community, delivered to you, for free.

CONNECT WITH US

© 2023 College Confidential, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

Financial aid •

January 4, 2023

Sample letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid

Our guide to writing a sample letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid.

Jessica Ancajas

Financial Aid Analyst

There aren’t many students out there who can afford to pay for college without financial aid. In fact, a whopping  86%  of college students rely on some form of financial aid to support them through college. 

Regardless, these grants, scholarships, and loan opportunities simply aren’t enough to help students bridge that financial gap. 

Want some good news? If you’re not offered enough financial aid to pursue your studies, you can usually make an appeal.

By launching an appeal for more financial aid, you might convince the financial aid office at your school to reexamine your circumstances—and potentially offer you extra cash as a result.

This appeals process normally starts by writing a letter of extenuating circumstances. 

This guide explains when you should appeal for more  financial aid  and what to include in a letter of extenuating circumstances. We’ll also walk you through a sample letter of extenuating circumstances so you know exactly how to craft yours.

8 reasons for appealing financial aid

Believe it or not, the teams that manage most financial aid offices at US colleges are pretty understanding and willing to listen. If you genuinely need a higher amount of financial aid to afford school, it’s possible to get help.

However, you can’t just call up your school’s financial aid office and beg for another scholarship because you’ve blown your tuition money on spring break. 

If you want to successfully appeal your financial aid offer, you need to have a good reason—and although each student has their own unique economic situation, there are 4 main reasons you may want to consider launching a  financial aid appeal .

1. Your financial situation changed

The first reason you might find yourself in a situation in which you’re going to want to appeal your financial aid offer is that your financial situation has changed.

The scope for this appeal strategy is pretty broad—meaning that there can be many different types of changes that could impact your ability to pay for school.

For example, perhaps your mom has lost her job, or she’s had to take a new job that pays much lower than her previous one—and she’s the sole source of income for your family. 

Let’s say you’ve included her old salary information as part of your  Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) . That means your financial aid office has come up with an aid offer based on outdated information. 

Because your parent is now earning way less money, you may now qualify for a higher grant or a different scholarship award because your financial need has increased.

The same rule applies to an extenuating circumstance like an unexpected healthcare issue that you’ve had to pay for out-of-pocket. It can also apply to dental expenses that are not covered by insurance.

Likewise, if your parents have recently divorced, it’s possible this big family change has had a negative impact on the amount of money you’ve got to pay for school.

These are all situations that finance teams generally listen to with a lot of empathy, and they could lead to a new assessment of how much aid you’ve been offered.

2. The information on your FAFSA is inaccurate

The second reason you may need to launch a financial aid appeal is that the income you listed on your FAFSA simply isn’t accurate. 

This inaccuracy could boil down to a drastic change in your personal finances (which we’ve already covered). But your FAFSA could also be wrong because you accidentally made a simple error. 

For example, maybe your FAFSA didn’t allow you enough space to fully demonstrate how a large portion of your family income is needed to cover existing debts—or you might have just filled in the wrong number in the wrong box. 

Don’t stress—accidents happen. You just need to clearly explain the problem and be able to provide accurate information to fix the mistake.

3. You’ve lost eligibility for a current offer

The third reason you might launch a financial aid appeal is that you've lost eligibility for an existing offer. A lot of colleges offer scholarships or grants based on the requirement that you have a certain GPA throughout your time at the school.

But if you’ve experienced a dramatic life event that impacted your grades and your financial aid was revoked, you might be able to launch a successful financial appeal. 

Examples include pregnancy, a new illness, bereavement, or ending up homeless. 

In some cases, your school will consider these events and overturn your loss of financial aid on compassionate grounds.

In order to qualify, you’ll need to file a Satisfactory Academic Progress (SAP) appeal.

4. Your aid was withdrawn

The fourth reason schools will often consider your financial aid appeal is because your existing aid has been withdrawn. 

For example, perhaps you’ve been awarded a grant by your school, but the  grant scheme  gets pulled before you’re able to get the full amount you were originally expecting. 

You should be able to appeal this loss of income—and, hopefully, get matched with a replacement grant or scholarship.

No matter your reason, the bottom line is this: if you haven’t been offered decent enough financial support to pay for your tuition, it’s always worth appealing. After all, those who don’t ask don’t get.

5. The size of your family has changed

If your family grows or shrinks through the birth or adoption of a child or the death of a parent or guardian, you should reach out to your school to let them know. A large portion of your family’s expected family contribution to the cost of college can be impacted by your household size, so a change could make you eligible for more aid.

It is helpful to have documentation showing how and when your household size changed, so have adoption paperwork, a death certificate, or other supporting evidence handy when you submit this request.

6. A natural disaster or another emergency has impacted your family

If your family lives in an area impacted by a natural disaster, such as a hurricane or major flood, you should communicate this to your financial aid office. This event likely had a major impact on your family’s financial situation, and, depending on the damage, it could have affected your living situation as well.

You might be able to get additional aid from your school, as well as more flexibility when it comes to things like move-in and move-out dates for your dormitory or other forms of assistance.

Some schools also have financial support available to people who are dealing with the fallout from the Covid-19 pandemic, so if your family has been impacted by that, let your financial aid office know.

7. You have a new or newly diagnosed medical condition

If you’ve been diagnosed with a medical or mental health condition, you may be eligible for additional financial aid. Depending on the nature of the condition, you might also want to reach out to your school’s disability resource center for additional support with things like taking notes or handling assignments.

When you send your letter of extenuating circumstances to your financial aid office, provide details about your condition and how it impacts your need for financial aid. Have medical documentation—preferably on official letterhead—from a healthcare provider to show the school.

8. You have a sibling in an elementary or secondary school that charges tuition

The federal government specifically notes that paying private elementary and secondary school tuition is a special circumstance that could impact your financial need and reduce your expected family contribution to the cost of college.

If you have a sibling or family member attending a private elementary or secondary school, let your financial aid office know after you submit the FAFSA. Provide supporting documentation to show how much the tuition costs. Some colleges may treat these expenses as a reduction in income and increase your need-based financial aid accordingly.

What is a letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid?

The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted some family incomes over the past couple of years. As a result, colleges are currently accepting more financial aid appeals than ever before. 

According to a new survey from the National Association of Student Financial Aid Administrators (NASFAA),  more than half  of colleges reported an increase in the number of “professional judgment requests” in 2020. 

A professional judgment request is just a fancy way of describing a third-party reexamination of a student’s FAFSA offer.

But it’s one thing to convince a university to reexamine your financial aid offer. Actually securing a better financial aid package is a whole different ball game.

That’s why any successful financial aid appeal must begin with a well-written and organized letter of extenuating circumstances. 

A letter of extenuating circumstances sounds complicated, but it’s really just an official request for help. 

The letter needs to clearly explain the problem and the current status of your financial award . 

Then, it needs to demonstrate why your existing financial aid offer simply isn’t enough to support your studies.

Before you sit down and write a letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid, you should get in touch with your financial aid office. They’ll be able to tell you who to send the letter to and if it should be delivered virtually or physically.

You should also ask your financial aid office if the school has a particular appeals process and if there’s anything in particular you need to know before appealing for more aid. 

For example, your college might have a specific appeal form you’ll need to complete and submit alongside your letter of extenuating circumstances.

It’s also important to note that you’ll normally be expected to submit any supporting documentation relevant to your letter. Always provide evidence to support your appeal.

What to include in a letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid

If you’ve never made an appeal for extra financial aid, it can be a little bit daunting trying to write a letter of extenuating circumstances for the first time. 

To help you get started, we’ll take a look at all of the stuff you should include in your letter.

A personal address

Most financial aid offices will have an appointed team member responsible for handling financial aid appeals. Address your letter to that person—not “to whom it may concern.”

By addressing your letter to that individual in particular, you’ll demonstrate that you’ve done your research, understand the school’s protocol, and you’re taking this matter seriously.

A specific reason

Remember: your college wants to help you. But if you don’t explain exactly why you need more cash to  pay for college , they probably won’t consider your appeal. You must be specific.

A letter of extenuating circumstances is your place to explain why you’re asking for help. 

Detail what’s happened with your parent’s career, describe ongoing medical conditions, or discuss any other specific reason you’re finding it hard to pay for college.

Documentation

Your appeal probably won’t be considered if you can’t provide proof of your financial need. 

After explaining the specific reason you require extra aid, you should include all of the appropriate documentation alongside your letter to prove your claims are true.

For example, if you’ve had an unexpected medical emergency that’s drained your life savings, a hospital invoice or letter from your health insurance company will be able to demonstrate the story in your letter is real.

A specific request

Your letter will be a lot more effective if you request a specific amount of money. 

After explaining your financial problem, include some basic math and show the person reading exactly how much money you need to make up the difference. This could be to pay for tuition, travel costs, housing, or anything in between. 

Explain what you can’t afford and how much more you need.

Likewise, a letter of extenuating circumstances is also a good place to outline any competing offers of financial aid you might have from other schools. If one college has offered you a bigger scholarship than another, write to your other schools asking them to match it.

Questions about the next steps

You should always close your letter by asking for details about the next step in the appeals process. 

Ideally, you’ll already have contacted your school’s financial aid office to figure out what those steps are, but by asking about the next step in your letter, you’re prompting the recipient to write you a response.

Above all else, your letter should be polite and show how thankful you are that you were offered anything at all.

Remember: your letter is a request for help. Nobody is going to want to help you if you write them an angry letter ranting about how unfair life is or how greedy you think the school looks. 

By showing a bit of humility in your letter, the person reading it’ll be more inclined to show you kindness in return.

Sample letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid 

If you need a hand getting started writing a financial aid appeal letter, don’t worry.

Here’s an example of a sample letter of extenuating circumstances for financial aid we’ve written that you can use as a template:

Dear Ms. Xxxxxxx, 

I am an incoming freshman student planning to attend the University of College in the fall. 

I would like to thank you for the financial aid package the university has offered. Unfortunately, my family’s financial situation has changed significantly since submitting my FAFSA.

Prior to receiving my financial award letter, my father developed a chronic illness and has had to reduce his work hours dramatically. Meanwhile, our family is now facing significant medical bills of approximately $20,000.

Bearing in mind my father earned over half of our household income, our family no longer has sufficient funds to cover the cost of outstanding tuition and living expenses. We are now currently facing a shortfall of $5,750 per semester.

I sincerely want to continue with my plans to study at the University of College this fall. That is why I am requesting the university review my award in relation to my change in financial circumstances.

Enclosed, you will find supporting documentation, including my father’s medical diagnosis, payslips demonstrating his reduced hours, and evidence of monthly medical expenses. I have also attached a completed copy of the University of College’s financial aid appeal form.

If you have any questions or require any additional information about this appeal, please don’t hesitate to get in touch. Thank you in advance for reviewing my appeal.

College Student

Student number: 123456789

At the end of the day, those who don’t ask don’t get. 

If you or your family have experienced serious financial difficulties, it’s always worth appealing to your school for more financial aid—and the best way to make it happen is by submitting a letter of extenuating circumstances to your college’s finance office.

When it comes to writing your letter, there are plenty of sample letters out there, so try not to stress. Take your time, be sincere, and don’t be afraid to ask for help writing your letter or collating supporting documentation to help your appeal.

Join Mos  now, and we can match you with loads of scholarships and other financial aid opportunities to help you make the most of your time in college!

To learn more about college financial aid, check out our article  Financial Aid FAQs .

Let's get

• Get paired with a financial aid expert
• Get more money for school
• Get more time to do you

More reads for you

Financial aid FAQs

Updated October 28, 2022

What's financial aid?

How to make money in college

Budgeting •

Updated April 7, 2023