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July 27, 2022

5 Tips on Writing About the Immigrant Experience for Law School

Many applicants are recent immigrants or have parents who are immigrants and plan to write about this aspect of their life in a personal statement or diversity statement . Certainly, having this life experience makes you distinctive and can add to your appeal at any school . But, often these essays fall flat. 

First, you must decide if you are going to write your immigrant narrative in the personal statement or diversity statement or both. How do you decide? The personal statement is the opportunity to answer the questions, why law school and why now. If your immigrant story is part of the answer, then introduce the narrative here. If you hope to become a tax attorney, your immigrant story may be best told in your diversity statement. Each statement should stand alone. They should complement each other and not duplicate each other. For those applicants using both opportunities to tell aspects of your family history, don’t repeat. Tell unique stories and provide unique insight in each essay.

Here are 5 tips to help you improve:

• Show. Don’t Tell . Just telling the reader that you and/or your family assimilated or learned English isn’t always enough. You need to show the admissions committee – paint a scene . Give a specific example. You need an arresting image to get their attention. Did you learn English watching cartoons? Immersed in an elementary school classroom? Are you still maintaining cultural aspects of your country of origin, and if so what are they and why? How do they impact your law school decisions or how will they impact the law school community?
• Show grit. In your essays, focus on how you solved the problem rather than the problem itself. For example, if you moved to the U.S. and didn’t speak any English, what did you do? How did you learn the language? How did you make friends, form a new community? Are you still observing certain holidays or traditions from your native country? If so, what are they and why? How do they influence you today?
• Avoid clich é s . “Fish out of water.” “Cultural differences.” “Breaking down barriers.” “Pulled up by their bootstraps.” These are phrases that are repeated often. That repetition has made them, well, cliched. You are trying to set yourself apart from the applicant pool; don’t employ overused phrases that cause you to blend in. You are better off explaining your situation with specificity than turning to hackneyed, overused, boring clichés.
• Don’t make Mom the focus. Often, applicants write about people they admire – usually a parent or grandparent. It’s great to love your family, but don’t make them the focus of your essay. You need to show the admissions committee that you are a good fit , not your father, mother, or other relative. Set a scene, but make yourself the lead character.
• Make a point. Going through an experience – good or bad – means nothing if you haven’t gained insight into yourself. Law schools want people who can think critically and examine the world around them. Your essay needs to show what you learned and how you can apply that skill to your studies and work. How have you grown from this experience? How does your experience help other people?

Remember that most basic failures of imagination in essay writing occur because applicants don’t want to spend time brainstorming, thinking, and writing . All that preparation is an important part of the process that will produce a quality finished product worthy of pride.

Work one-on-one with an Accepted advisor to devise an admissions strategy that will help you present a compelling story and produce an application that will stand out and get you accepted. Check out our  Law School Admissions Consulting Services  for more information. 

Related Resources:

• 5 Summer Experiences That Could Enhance Your Law School Profile
• The Paul & Daisy Soros Fellowships for New Americans Application Essay Tips
• 7 Simple Steps to Writing an Excellent Diversity Essay

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• Table of Contents
• Preface & Acknowledgements
• Acronyms & Abbreviations
• 1. A Brief History
• 2. Sources of Law
• 3. Elements of Asylum Law
• 4. Precedential LGBTQ/H Asylum Cases
• 5. The One-Year Filing Deadline
• 6. Withholding of Removal
• 7. Relief Under CAT
• 8. Voluntary Departure
• 9. Real ID Act
• 10. Safe Third Country
• 11. Challenging Asylum Cases
• 12. Working with Asylum Seekers
• 13. Working with LGBTQ/H Asylum Seekers
• 14. Elements of an Application
• 15. Preparing the I-589
• 16. Sample I-589
• 17. Preparing the Asylum Declaration
• 18. Declaration Dos and Don’ts

19. Annotated Sample Declaration

• 20. Corroborating Client-Specific Documents
• 21. Corroborating Country Conditions
• 22. Indexed Country Conditions Sample
• 23. Sample Cover Letter
• 24. Assembling Everything
• 25. Affirmative Application Process
• 26. Immigration Court Proceedings
• 27. Board of Immigration Appeals
• 28. Federal Court Review
• 29. Detained Asylum Seekers
• 30. Obtaining an Employment Authorization Document
• 31. Asylee Status
• 32. Withholding Status
• 33. CAT Status
• Important Resources

The information contained herein is for reference only and may not be up to date. It does not constitute legal advice. You should always consult an attorney regarding your matter.

SAMPLE DECLARATION

UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF HOMELAND SECURITY CITIZENSHIP AND IMMIGRATION SERVICES ASYLUM OFFICE LYNDHURST, NEW JERSEY IN THE MATTER OF: JOAO DOE

STATEMENT IN SUPPORT OF APPLICATION FOR POLITICAL ASYLUM

I, Joao Doe, declare under the penalty of perjury, pursuant to 18 U.S.C. sec. 1546, that the following is true and correct:

» Practice pointer: The declaration should begin with a brief introduction which lays out the basis of the asylum claim.

1. My name is Joao Doe. I was born on February 23, 1975 in Sao Bernardo do Campo, a suburb of Sao Paulo Brazil, and I am a thirty year old native and citizen of Brazil.

2. I am a gay man. In Brazil, there was and is such intense hatred and violence against actual or suspected homosexuals by the government, its police, death squads and society that I had to flee to the United States. As a gay man, I suffered public ridicule, beatings, and sexual abuse by police and prisoners. I struggled through my childhood and adolescence to hide my homosexuality, fearing rejection, violence and abuse from the police and others merely because I was different.

» Practice pointer: In general it is best to the use the term “gay man” or “lesbian” rather than “homosexual” as a self-definition. It is okay to use the terms interchangeably in the body of the declaration, but the noun “homosexual,” especially in the phrase, “I am a homosexual” sounds very clinical and has a slightly negative connotation.

3. Although I arrived in the United States on July 7, 2001, I was just diagnosed with HIV on July 18, 2005. In my country, people with HIV and AIDS are called AIDS carriers and mistreated by the government and society. There is much blame against gays for AIDS and therefore they perceive male persons with AIDS as homosexuals and mistreat them more. The fact that I am a gay man living with HIV makes me a greater target for future mistreatment in my country. While I have always been afraid to return to Brazil, now that I know that I am also HIV-positive, I am certain that returning to Brazil would be a death sentence. Because of this enormous change in my situation, I am now filing for asylum.

» Practice pointer: If the applicant has missed the one year filing deadline, this will certainly be an issue in the case. It is therefore important to address the issue head on.

» Practice pointer: Bold face point headings help make the declaration readable for the adjudicator.

» Practice pointer: Although childhood mistreatment will almost never, in and of itself, be sufficient to win an asylum claim, it is important for the adjudicator to have as full an understanding of what the applicant’s life was like in his country as possible.

4. I am the fourth of eight brothers and sisters. My father is a shoe repairman and my mother, a housewife. I was more effeminate than most young boys growing up. As a kid, my classmates ridiculed me at school and on the streets shouting “menina” (“girl”) or “viado” (“faggot.”) They’d sometimes shove me when we were at the playground.

» Practice pointer: When detailing specific bad names or incidents with name calling, it’s best to write out the exact word in the language in which it was spoken (or written) and include the English translation directly afterwards.

5. I remember one incident in particular. When I was maybe nine or ten years old, around 1985, I was walking home from a school and a group of boys were playing soccer. When I was walking by they stopped playing and whispered to each other and then asked me if I wanted to play with them. I was nervous because I wasn’t a very good player, but I was so happy to be asked to join in, that I put down my books and ran over to join them. As soon as I made it over to the players, one of them pushed me to the ground and said that soccer wasn’t a game for “viados” and that if wanted to join the game, I could be the ball. Then they all started kicking me, and I curled up to avoid getting hit on the head, and they were all laughing, “look he even looks like a ball.” At one point they were all laughing so hard, I had the chance to get up and run away.

6. I ran all the way home. I remember trying so hard not to cry in front of the boys when they were kicking me, but as soon as I got away, I couldn’t help crying and crying. In my rush to escape, I left my books behind. I was too ashamed to tell my family what had happened and I lied to my teacher about losing my books.

» Practice pointer: It is very important to include detailed accounts of specific incidents which the applicant recalls. It is in these details that the adjudicator can really understand what the applicant went through in the past and why the applicant fears returning. It is also easier for the adjudicator to judge the client’s credibility if there is a specific incident about which the adjudicator can elicit more details. Often applicants are reticent to discuss specific incidents and instead make broad statements like, “I was called names all the time.” Or “I was always getting beaten up.” It’s okay for the applicant to make broad statements like this, but it’s essential to also detail specific examples.

7. I was too young to understand why I was different but knew that I was not as masculine as my brothers and other boys my age. I had no friends as a boy since the other boys insulted me and didn’t want to be seen with me. I didn’t tell my family about these painful episodes because I didn’t want to alarm them and call more attention to the ways that I was different from other boys. My family avoided discussing my difference.

Adolescence

8. In 1989, when I was around thirteen or fourteen years old, I started to realize that I was physically attracted to other guys. I had always known that I was different from the other boys, and I’d always heard the name “faggot,” but it wasn’t until I was in my teens that I began to have real feelings for other guys and began to understand just what my “difference” meant.

» Practice pointer: Remember that in an asylum case based on sexual orientation, the first thing you need to prove to the adjudicator is that your client actually is gay. The best way to do this is by providing detailed information about his “coming out” process, including when he first began to realize that he was gay and when he had his first romantic relationship with another man.

9. In 1990, when I was fifteen, I began to work at a local grocery store during the day and attend school at night. Until then I had been ridiculed and ostracized because others saw that I was effeminate and therefore assumed that I was homosexual. But up to that point I had never acted on my feelings.

10. In 1991, when I was sixteen years old and still working at the grocery store, a man by the name of Jorge moved into town from a larger city and started working at the Post Office down the street from the store. In or around May, 1991, I was in the town park when Jorge approached me and persuaded me to have sexual relations with him in a dead end street. I say “persuaded” because he was much older and came from a big city and said that he was married. I felt uncomfortable having sex with someone I’d just met, but I was sixteen and had never had any sexual contact with anyone. I remember feeling really scared, but at the same time, feeling kind of relieved to finally confirm for myself that I was gay and that that’s why I’d always felt so different.

11. While I knew that this encounter in the park wasn’t going to become a lasting relationship, I never imagined what Jorge would do. After we had our encounter, Jorge told a classmate of mine, Paulo, that I had had sex with him.

12. Paulo began to blackmail me, threatening to tell everyone in school how I was in fact a “viado” (“faggot”) unless I brought him things from the store where I worked such as cigarettes, beer and food. I had no choice but to do what he told me because I was so afraid of how much worse my life would be if he told more of my classmates that I truly was homosexual.

» Practice pointer: Although purely private incidents with other students may not meet the definition of persecution (since there is no state involvement and no unsuccessful effort by the applicant to receive state protection) it is worth including these accounts because they help to paint a picture of the intolerance the applicant faces in his society.

13. Although Paulo never did tell my classmates, I spent the next two years in that school in constant fear. I was afraid of how much worse my life would be if everyone at school knew for sure that I was gay. I was also afraid that I’d get caught stealing from the store and have to explain to my boss and parents the reason I was taking things.

My Family Moves to Sao Paulo

14. In 1993, at age eighteen, my parents decided to move to Sao Paulo itself. I was relieved that we were moving because I could no longer take the ridicule and blackmail by my classmate and hoped that my life as a gay man would be better there. Once there, I did meet other gay men, and I thought that my life would be easier. However, I soon realized that in big cities the problems for gay people were even bigger as I now describe.

15. I had not yet graduated from high school and hoped that moving to a new city, I’d be able to make a new start. I still had one more year before I would graduate and thought that moving someplace new, I could leave my troubles behind me, but almost immediately, my new classmates suspected that I was gay and made my life miserable calling me not by my name but names like “bicha” (“faggot”). I was so miserable that I eventually stopped going to school.

16. I remember one occasion when I got into the classroom late, but still before the teacher came into the room. As soon as I entered the classroom, all of the other students burst into laughter. I took my seat, and tried not to look at them. Instead I looked at the board in the front of the room, where there was a drawing of a man with an erect penis having sex with a goat. An arrow pointed to the man with my name.

17. I remember opening a book and pretending to read so that I could try to ignore the other students. When the teacher came in, he started yelling at me, asking me if I’d drawn this picture, and the students all began laughing again. I was so humiliated, I just left the classroom without saying anything.

» Practice pointer: It is always best to include specific examples of mistreatment or problems which the applicant suffered. It is much more powerful for the reader to hear the details of a particular incident than for the applicant to make generalized statements like, “Other students always made fun of me.”

18. There were other times that I would remain in the classroom to avoid being publicly humiliated by the other students when I went outside. I actually filed complaints with the school director’s office. Instead of disciplining the other students, the director told me that if I would act more like a man, I would not have these problems with the other students.

» Practice pointer: It is important to state that the applicant filed complaints, if he did, because this helps show that what he suffered was not merely isolated incidents of adolescent cruelty, but rather that the institutions in his country did not protect him from this behavior.

19. Even though I only had half a year left to get my high school degree, in the winter of 1993, I dropped out of school. I remember that my mother was very disappointed because she always thought I’d go on to college and maybe become a lawyer or a doctor. Instead, I got a job working in a men’s clothing store called Armando’s.

20. I was relieved to be away from the abusive environment of the school at last, though I also felt depressed about my future. This was a hard time because I was still living with my family, but I couldn’t explain to them the real reason I left school. I just told them that there was no point to going to school and that I was old enough to earn my own money.

My First Relationship

» Practice pointer: To prove that the applicant actually is a member of the particular social group of “homosexuals,” it is important to include detailed information about relationships he had as proof of his sexual orientation.

21. After I’d been working at Armando’s for around six months, my life changed for the better. A young man came into the store looking to buy a suit, and I went over to ask him if he needed help. Immediately I felt a connection with him. I could sense him looking at me longer than he needed to and I felt nervous talking to him.

22. I helped him try on several suits. He told me his name was Ricardo and he asked me to meet him at a bar later. I remember feeling like I could barely breathe when I wrote down the address of the bar.

23. I met Ricardo later that night at a bar that was filled with men. It was the first time I’d been to a gay bar. I felt scared going in there because I knew these bars were sometimes raided by the police, but I also felt elated seeing all these gay men who were so comfortable being together.

24. As soon as I saw what kind of bar this was, I knew for sure that Ricardo was interested in me in the same way I was interested in him. Since I still lived with my family, we went to his apartment from the bar. This was an amazing night for me, to be with someone close to my age (Ricardo was 22), who seemed like he really liked me and was comfortable with being gay himself.

25. After that, Ricardo and I started to see each other regularly. This was an amazing period for me. After spending my whole life feeling like there was something wrong with me and like I’d never fit in, I finally found a person who was like me and who accepted me as I was. About nine months after I met Ricardo, in early 1995, I moved into his apartment with him.

26. I’m sure that while I was still living at home, my family had begun to understand the true nature of my relationship with Ricardo. We were together all the time. I started coming home very late, and sometimes not at all. And when we weren’t together we were talking on the phone. Although I could sense increasing tension with my family, everyone chose to ignore the situation and pretend that what they knew was happening wasn’t really happening.

27. Living with Ricardo was wonderful. We were finally free to be ourselves together without having to worry about when I’d get home or what my family might think. Knowing someone who had been “out” longer than I had was also very good for me. Ricardo introduced me to his other gay friends, and I soon had a whole circle of gay friends.

Problems with the Police

28. Even though my home life was improving, however, this didn’t mean that as a gay man I was free to live without fear in Brazil.

29. My friends and I never found peace on the streets since young heterosexual men would approach, insult and even attack us as “viados” (“faggots”) and AIDS carriers. Even then there were gangs of men who would drive by us in the plaza and throw rotten eggs, water balloons, sticks, and rocks at us shouting that we were faggots and AIDS carriers.

30. The police in Brazil, who are supposed to protect people, instead were often the most abusive towards gay people. We gay people could not defend ourselves against the police but only held our heads down and listened to them in silence. We always knew that if we made them angry, they had this special mistreatment called “telephone,” a technique where the police officer opened his two hands, lifted us his arms and brought them down hitting the person’s ears, causing intense pain and ringing in the ears.

31. I recall one night in 1996 that the police applied the telephone to my friend Claudio because they claimed that he was homosexual, out late at night and should be home and he spoke back to them.

32. Ricardo and I were at home at around 11:00 when Claudio knocked on our door, waking us up. His shirt was torn and he looked visibly shaken. I asked him what happened but he wouldn’t talk about it, he just asked if he could sleep on our couch. It wasn’t until the next morning that he told us what the police had done and about the “telephone” treatment he had received.

» Practice pointer: Since asylum claims are based on fear of future persecution as well as past persecution, it is helpful to include accounts of serious problems that other gay people the applicant knew experienced. As with the applicant’s own experiences, it’s important to include details rather than to generalize.

I Am Raped by a Policeman because I Am Gay

33. In the summer of 1996 I suffered a terrible experience which still haunts me. I was coming home at night from eating dinner out with some friends. After I’d walked a few blocks from the restaurant towards the bus stop, a man who seemed drunk approached me and told me to walk with him. I told him I did not have time and tried to walk away from him. He then grabbed me, called me “a faggot” and told me not to do anything funny because he had a gun. He forced me to walk with him all the way up a hill near a sawmill, located on the other side of the train tracks. He then pulled down his pants and forced me to perform oral sex on him at gunpoint. Afterwards, he made me take off my clothes and raped me. When he finished, he put his gun into my anus and told me to be still, otherwise he would pull the trigger. He warned me that if I told anyone, he’d kill me. He left me there at the sawmill alone, crying. I made my way home.

34. I pulled myself together before I got home, and I decided not to tell Ricardo about what had happened. To this day, I don’t really understand why I didn’t tell him. But that night I just felt dirty and used, and felt, somehow like I was at fault for this happening. I worried that Ricardo wouldn’t want to be with me any more if he knew.

35. I was angry about what happened, but I also feared reporting this experience to the authorities given his threat. After this happened, I was scared to leave my home because I was afraid I might see him again and he might abuse me sexually again. Even though I didn’t tell Ricardo what had happened, our relationship changed after this. About two months after the rape, the two of us broke up, though we remained friends. I moved out of Ricardo’s apartment and shared an apartment with another gay friend named Silvio. Silvio and I became good friends, but were never romantically involved.

» Practice pointer: It is always helpful to get affidavits or letters from the applicant’s former partner(s) confirming their relationship as another way of proving the applicant’s sexual orientation.

36. In June, I learned who the man that raped me was when I saw his photograph in the Diario Do Rio Doce newspaper. His name was Joaquim Cruz and he was an undercover member of the Policia Militar de Governador Valadares, PMGV, the military police. The newspaper reported on his death. He was killed in retaliation for having allegedly killed a young couple with a hammer. When I realized that he had been a military police officer, I was even more thankful that I did not report him to the authorities. Now that he was dead, I felt a little safer but that would not last for long.

» Practice pointer: It is always important to explain whether or not the applicant reported the mistreatment to the authorities. If the applicant did report the incident, what was the result? If the applicant did not report the incident, why not? Even when the applicant suffers harm directly from government agents (like police officers) adjudicators may want to know whether the applicant reported the incident to a higher authority within the government. The applicant should explain why he didn’t feel safe doing so, even if the reason (i.e. the police already abused him) seems obvious to him.

My Second Incident with the Police

» Practice pointer: Incidents of mistreatment directly at the hands of the government are the clearest examples of persecution. It is crucial to provide in-depth, detailed accounts of any problems the applicant experienced with the police, military or other government agencies.

37. On another occasion, in around March, 1997, at around 9:30 p.m., I was sitting in the Plaza Italia with my friends Silvio and Nelson, talking with other gay friends when all of a sudden four police cars pulled up with two police officers in each car. They said to one another, “There are the faggots” and pointed their guns at us. They ordered us to get in their cars because the Police Chief wanted to see us. We asked why but they refused to answer but said that we would soon know why. When we got to the police station, we continued to ask why we were under arrest, and the police officers continued to insult us as “viados” (“faggots”), and ordered us to shut up and behave since otherwise we would be beaten.

38. The commanding officer directed us into a room and ordered us to get undressed down to our underwear and get in a line to be processed for the cell. At the head of the line there were two police officers holding a “cacetete,” a weapon made of hard rubber with a wooden handle. They ordered us to walk by them to the cell. Each time we passed, they smacked us hard twice in the buttocks saying this was our stamp to get in the cell. Being hit by the “cacete” was very painful.

39. The commanding officer forced us into a ten foot by ten foot cell with a cement floor and six common criminals. The officer told the criminals “here come your girlfriends, rape them and do what you want with them.” He encouraged the criminals to sexually abuse us! The criminals clarified that they were in there for some time for different kinds of offenses from fights, to car thefts and drugs.

40. As soon as the officer left, the criminals attacked us, pairing up, making us perform oral sex and raping us. I cried to myself as I endured this rape by two criminals. I knew that we were outnumbered and the police condoned the criminals’ actions, so there was nothing I could do to escape.

41. At sunrise, when a guard came to the cell to check on us, we asked when we were to see the Police Chief. The guard told us that it might not be until tomorrow if he decides to take the day off. I became petrified that I was to be detained without charges indefinitely at the mercy of these criminals and their sexual abuse.

42. Thankfully a few hours later, an officer finally came to bring us from the cell to see the Police Chief. We were ordered up against the wall when the Chief came in. In front of the other officers, the Chief insulted us as “viados” (“faggots”) and asked us how we enjoyed the evening in the cell. He ordered us to walk across the room, still in our underwear, saying that we walked like faggots. He warned us that he did not want to hear anything about us or see us hanging out on the street, since the next time, we would not be released the following day but be kept in jail for our faggot ways. He then ordered us to get dressed and sent us out of the police station. “Look at the faggots walk,” the Chief and other officers laughed as we left. It was therefore now completely clear to me that the Chief and police had detained me and my friends and encouraged the criminals to sexually abuse us as punishment simply because we were gay.

43. I suffered bruises from the criminals’ rape all over, including in my rectum and I could not sit down for days from the pain. I did not seek medical attention for fear of being identified as a homosexual by the doctor and mistreated. I did not report the actions of the police since it was the police themselves who told the criminals to abuse us. I believed if I tried to make some sort of complaint, I would only be attacked again by the police. In Brazil, gay men frequently “disappear” and I feared for my life if the police thought I was a troublemaker.

» Practice pointer: If the applicant suffers an injury which requires medical treatment, it’s important to obtain the medical records. If the applicant did not seek medical treatment, it’s important to explain why not since the adjudicator may wonder why the applicant has not provided medical records otherwise.

My Third Incident with the Police

44. About one month after the arrest, on the Wednesday before Good Friday of 1997, at around 8:30 p.m., I was with my friend Silvio, and another friend, Jose, just walking down the street together, when we saw two police cars approaching. The sight of the police sent us running for our lives given the Chief’s previous threat against us if the police found us again. I could not escape too far but scrambled up a bushy tree from where I could not see much of what happened but could hear everything. I heard the police officers shout “stop!” I heard one of my friends, Jose, begging the officers to let him go because he had done nothing wrong. The police said that he looked like a faggot and that they would take him to the station. “Get in,” they shouted to him and drove off.

45. After they left, I got down from the tree thankful that I had not been discovered but panicked over what might happen to Jose. I later learned that they detained him overnight without charges. He wouldn’t speak with us about what happened to him in jail, so I suspect that he was also subjected to sexual abuse.

46. During this time, I had started to take classes at night so that I could get my high school graduation certificate. I had begun to realize that I wouldn’t have any future if I didn’t go back to school. In the fall of 1997, I began to take business classes part-time at the University of Sao Paulo while continuing to work at the clothes store.

My Fourth Incident with the Police

47. At the end of February, 1998, I went to Rio de Janeiro to spend Carnaval. On a Saturday night at around midnight, I was walking in a park with an acquaintance named David when two police officers suddenly appeared. The officers demanded to know what we were doing. We told them that we were only talking, which was the truth. The officers called us liars since no two men would go to a park just to talk. They demanded to know which of us was the “bicha” (“faggot”). We denied that we were faggots. They responded that if we did not confess, they would take both of us to jail where we would be kept until Ash Wednesday. I decided to confess since I feared the abuse we would face in jail. They ordered David to leave.

48. When I asked whether I could go now, they responded, “Not before you give us something in return.” The officers pointed their guns at me and ordered me to perform oral sex on both of them. I felt sickened to have to do this, but realized that they had guns and I was completely at their mercy. The abuse lasted around 30 minutes. Afterwards, they released me, telling me “Go, but don’t look back or you’re dead.” As I walked from the park, I shivered in fear that they would shoot me in the back even as I did not look back at them. Again, with the police themselves abusing me and threatening me, I was too afraid to try to report what happened. I didn’t want to go near a police station for fear I’d see the same officers again.

49. After this incident happened, I decided that I would try to avoid going to places where gay people gathered because I was terrified to have another encounter with the police. For the next couple of years I focused all of my energies on working during the day and going to school at night. This was a lonely time for me but I felt like my life was moving forward since I was doing well in school.

My Fifth Incident with the Police

50. It wasn’t possible for me to live my life completely without human contact, however, so one night in June, 2001, after an exam, I went out to a bar with Christian, a gay friend from the university. I was returning home late at night at around 1 a.m., when two police officers stopped me and asked where I was coming from. I told them the truth that I was coming from a bar called Los Ventos. Everyone knew that gay people met each other at this bar, so the police assumed I was gay and began to ridicule me. They told me that I was a faggot, looking to get “fucked,” and that they would take me into the station to let the prisoners have fun with me. I was terrified of being thrown in with the common criminals again and being sexually abused again, so I told them I had to get home to go to work the next morning and began to walk away. One officer took his cacetete in rage and smacked my left hand threatening me to “get out of their sight, faggot!”

51. I was so afraid, I started running. I remember that I could hardly see while I was running because I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I really believed that I was going to be shot in the back for running away from them, but at that point I decided that I’d rather be killed than be forced again to have sex with the police. Even now when I think about it I remember how I felt that night, scared, angry, humiliated, and completely powerless to protect my rights in a country where the police are free to attack us.

52. That night I decided that whatever it took, I had to get out of Brazil. Later that week, I applied for a tourist visa to come to the U.S. but it was denied.

Escape to the United States

53. After many years of not having an honest conversation with my family about my sexuality, I finally sat down and told my mother everything that I had experienced because I am gay. We talked late into the night, both crying and she agreed to help me get out of Brazil. She helped me pay for a plane ticket to Mexico, and on June 23, 2001, I flew to Mexico City. After that, I met up with some coyotes who were friends of my mother’s brother. On July 7, 2001, I entered the United States without inspection by Laredo, TX.

» Practice pointer: Although in this case the applicant missed the one year filing deadline so his exact date of entry is not essential, it is still helpful to bolster his overall credibility if he can submit evidence confirming his story of entering the United States Thus, he should submit a copy of the airline ticket or passport with the entry stamp into Mexico. It will also be crucial to include an affidavit or letter from the applicant’s mother confirming that she agreed to help him after concluding that his life was at risk in Brazil.

54. On July 18, 2005, at the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center, I tested HIV-positive. The news devastated me partly since I always practiced safer sex, except when the police and criminals in Brazil sexually abused me against my will. I panic just thinking about being deported to Brazil as a gay man living with HIV. It is my understanding that there is intense discrimination against people with HIV and AIDS in Brazil. Because of poor information about AIDS, people with HIV and AIDS are treated unfairly. Those who have the disease are ostracized and treated like lepers. I recall that many times while in Brazil since people think homosexuals are responsible for AIDS and are AIDS carriers, people who suspected that I was a homosexual insulted and threatened me as an AIDS carrier even when I was HIV-negative. Now that I am HIV-positive, I believe they will try to hurt me any way possible by not treating me in the hospital, refusing to give me employment, and not protecting me from police or gang violence.

55. I also fear for my life if deported because I am a gay man, considering the abuse I already experienced as a homosexual and considering the rise of the death squads that have been killing homosexuals with impunity. I have heard from my friends in Brazil of several people in my city who were murdered because of their sexual orientation and HIV status. I heard that in May 2003, Oswaldo Borges, an acquaintance of mine was found dead at age 27, with his body dismembered at a gas station in town. It is believed that he was murdered because he was HIV-positive.

56. To date, I still experience nightmares over what happened to me with the police, criminals and society. However, I wake up and am thankful for having found real safety in the United States.

57. I did not apply for political asylum until now in the United States since I did not know that the persecution I suffered in the past and fear in the future as a gay man could be the basis for political asylum here. It was not until I was diagnosed with HIV, two months ago, that I learned about asylum from a social worker at the Callen-Lorde Community Health Center. The social worker, Martin Peña referred me to Immigration Equality.

58. Although I have always been afraid to return to Brazil because of my sexual orientation, now, as a gay man who is also HIV-positive I’m more afraid than ever. I believe that if I’m deported to Brazil I will again face abuse and rape by the police, and that the mistreatment I face will be even worse now that I am also HIV-positive.

59. It is my hope that after so much abuse and mistreatment as a homosexual including physical and sexual abuse by the police and criminals and the prospect of even more abuse and mistreatment as a homosexual with HIV/AIDS if deported to Brazil, that the Asylum Office will consider granting me political asylum in their discretion. I thank you for your consideration of my application.

Signature Line Joao Doe Sworn to before me this 15th day of February 2006

Signature Line Notary Public

This Manual is intended to provide information to attorneys and accredited representatives. It is not intended as legal advice. Asylum seekers should speak with qualified attorneys before applying.

This handbook is intended for use by pro bono attorneys and immigration attorneys working on LGBTQ/HIV asylum cases.

Self-help asylum guides for LGBTQ and HIV-positive people without attorneys.

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I-918, Petition for U Nonimmigrant Status

ALERT: On Jan. 31, 2024, we published a  final rule in the Federal Register that adjusts the fees required for most immigration applications and petitions. The new fees will be effective April 1, 2024.

Applications and petitions postmarked on or after April 1, 2024, must include the new fees or we will not accept them.

What to Know About Sending Us Your Form

The new filing fee is effective for filings postmarked April 1, 2024, and later. If you are filing an acceptable prior form edition on or after April 1, 2024, you must include the new filing fee.

ALERT: As of June 20, 2023, we met the fiscal year 2023 statutory cap of 10,000 individuals who can be issued U-1 nonimmigrant visas or granted U-1 nonimmigrant status per fiscal year. We adjudicated petitions to meet the statutory cap based on filing date, with the oldest petitions receiving highest priority. We have met this cap every year since fiscal year 2010. When the new fiscal year began on Oct. 1, 2023, we resumed approving principal petitions for U-1 nonimmigrant status starting with petitions filed on or before July 31, 2016, prioritizing the oldest petitions.

While we adjudicate petitions under the statutory cap for fiscal year 2024, we will continue to conduct bona fide determination reviews and, where applicable, consider petitions for placement on the waiting list.

ALERT:  Submit  Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , at the same time you submit your Form I-918 or Form I-918A.

Submit  Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , at the same time you submit your Form I-918 or Form I-918A. This will enable us to more efficiently consider your case under the bona fide determination process. Please note that there is no fee for an initial bona fide determination Employment Authorization Document (EAD).

If you have a pending Form I-918 or Form I-918A and have not already submitted Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , please submit Form I-765 now to the appropriate address in the “Where to File” section.

Note:  We will not determine whether a qualifying family member’s petition is bona fide until after the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination.

If you are a noncitizen and are a victim of a qualifying criminal activity, use this form to petition for temporary immigration benefits for yourself and your qualifying family members, as appropriate.

Q1. What is the bona fide determination process?

A1.  By statute, USCIS has discretion to provide employment authorization to noncitizens with pending, bona fide U nonimmigrant status petitions. In June 2021, we implemented the bona fide determination process with the goal of conducting initial reviews of U nonimmigrant status petitions more efficiently and providing eligible victims of qualifying crimes with employment authorization and deferred action while they wait for final adjudication of their petition for U nonimmigrant status under the annual statutory cap. This will provide victims with stability and better equip them to cooperate with and assist law enforcement.

Q2. Who does the bona fide determination process apply to?

A2.  This policy applies to all Form I-918 petitions and all Form I-918A petitions pending as of June 14, 2021, filed by principal petitioners and qualifying family members living in the United States, as well as Form I-918 petitions filed on or after this date by principal petitioners and their qualifying family members living in the United States. We do not consider principal petitioners and qualifying family members living outside of the United States for a bona fide determination because we cannot provide deferred action or employment authorization to petitioners outside the United States.

Q3. When did USCIS begin implementing the bona fide determination process?

A3.  We published the new bona fide determination process in the  USCIS Policy Manual  on June 14, 2021, and began adjudicating and issuing Employment Authorization Documents (EADs) shortly thereafter.

Q4. In what order will USCIS adjudicate cases for a bona fide determination?

A4.  We will generally adjudicate cases for bona fide determinations in receipt date order, starting with the oldest pending petitions that have not already gone through a waiting list adjudication as of June 14, 2021.

Q5. I filed a petition for U nonimmigrant status several years ago. Will my petition now go through 3 different adjudications: bona fide determination, waiting list, and final adjudication? What happens if I was already placed on the waiting list before this policy was issued?

A5.  Principal petitioners and qualifying family members will not all go through 3 different adjudications. As of June 14, 2021, we began adjudicating pending, non-waitlisted petitions filed by noncitizens living in the United States in receipt date order for bona fide determinations.

If a principal petitioner has a bona fide petition, merits a favorable exercise of discretion, and has filed their Form I-765, we will issue the principal petitioner a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action. We will place their petition in the queue in receipt date order to wait for final adjudication for U nonimmigrant status. These petitioners will not have to go through a waiting list adjudication unless new, adverse information impacts their ability to maintain a bona fide determination EAD.

Principal petitioners who we determine will not receive a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action will receive waiting list adjudication. If a principal petitioner receives waiting list adjudication, qualifying family members will also receive waiting list adjudication.

Principal petitioners and their qualifying family members placed on the waiting list before June 14, 2021, do not need to go through the bona fide determination process because they already can receive an EAD and deferred action. Petitioners placed on the waiting list before June 14, 2021, will be adjudicated for U nonimmigrant status in receipt date order at the same time as petitioners who received bona fide determination EADs and deferred action.

Q6. How are bona fide determinations for principal petitioners different from qualifying family members?

A6. A qualifying family member will not have access to a bona fide determination review unless and until the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination. We will first determine whether a principal petitioner living in the United States may receive a bona fide determination before we make a bona fide determination for any associated qualifying family member living in the United States. A principal petition is bona fide if:

• The principal petitioner properly filed  Form I-918 ;
• The principal petitioner included a properly completed law enforcement certification ( Form I-918 Supplement B, U Nonimmigrant Status Certification );
• The principal petitioner included a personal statement describing the facts of the victimization; and
• We received the results of the principal petitioner’s background and security checks based on biometrics.

We then assess the principal petitioner’s eligibility for a bona fide determination by considering whether they merit a positive exercise of discretion, including consideration of national security or public safety risks.

After the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination , we will evaluate the petitions of any qualifying family members living in the United States to assess whether they are eligible to receive a bona fide determination.

If the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination, this does not guarantee a qualifying family member living in the United States will receive a bona fide determination . The record must independently demonstrate the qualifying family member’s  Form I-918, Supplement A, Petition for Qualifying Family Member of U-1 Recipient , is bona fide. A  qualifying family member’s petition is bona fide if:

• The principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination;
• The petitioner has properly filed  Form I-918, Supplement A ;
• The petition includes credible evidence of the qualifying family relationship; and
• We receive the results of the qualifying family member’s background and security checks based on biometrics.

As with principal petitioners, we then consider whether the qualifying family member living in the United States merits a favorable exercise of discretion to receive a bona fide determination.

For more information on the bona fide determination process for principal petitioners, please see the USCIS Policy Manual Appendix:  Bona Fide Determination Process Flowchart (PDF, 95.1 KB) . For more information on the bona fide determination process for qualifying family members, please see  Chapter 5: Bona Fide Determination, A. Bona Fide Determination, 2. Qualifying Family Members .

Q7. What do I need to file to receive a bona fide determination EAD?

A7.  We will initiate bona fide determination adjudication of pending petitions not already placed on the waiting list. Principal petitioners, qualifying family members, and counsel do not need to take any action.

We are reviewing pending petitions filed by petitioners living in the United States in receipt date order. Petitioners will not need to submit an additional request. We will send petitioners a notice to file a Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , if they have not done so already.

Q8. I did not previously file Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization, with my U visa petition. What should I do?

A8. We encourage petitioners to submit a  Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , concurrently with their Form I-918 or Form I-918A. This will enable us to act efficiently on their case when it is current for consideration under the bona fide determination process. Please note that there is no fee for an initial bona fide determination EAD.

If you have a pending Form I-918 or Form I-918A and have not already submitted a  Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , please submit Form I-765 now to the appropriate address in the “Where to File” section on the Form I-918 webpage.

If a petitioner has already filed Form I-765 under  8 CFR 274a.12(a)(19), (a)(20) or (c)(14)  and we determined they will receive a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action, they will not need to submit another Form I-765. For additional information, please see  Chapter 5: Bona Fide Determination, C. Adjudicative Process, 2. Previously Filed Form I-765 for Bona Fide Determination Process . Q9. Can petitioners still file Forms I-918 and I-765 together, or should we wait until USCIS issues a bona fide determination notice?

A9.  We recommend that principal petitioners and their qualifying family members file Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization with their initial filings. Principal petitioners and qualifying family members may file a Form I-765 under a (c)(14) category for a bona fide determination EAD or if their petition is placed on the waiting list.

Q10. I am a new petitioner. Do I need to submit a fee or a fee waiver with my Form I-765 for the waiting list (under 8 CFR (c)(14))? Do I need to submit a fee or a fee waiver for the bona fide determination EAD?

A10.  Generally, we do not charge a fee to file certain victim-based and humanitarian benefit requests, including  Form I-918 , and the initial  Form I-765  associated with this form.

If a petitioner (principal petitioner or qualifying family member) does not file their Form I-765 concurrently with their Form I-918 and we determine they may receive a bona fide determination EAD, we will issue a notice indicating that they have received a bona fide determination, merit a favorable exercise of discretion, and may receive a bona fide determination EAD if they file Form I-765.

Petitioners do not need to submit a filing fee for the initial  Form I-765  associated with the bona fide determination EAD. While we do not charge a filing fee for the initial Form I-765 requesting a bona fide determination EAD, a petitioner will need to submit the appropriate fee or fee waiver request if they choose to renew their bona fide determination EAD.

Petitioners do not need to submit a filing fee for the initial Form I-765 associated with waiting list placement. Petitioners do need to submit the appropriate fee or fee waiver if they choose to renew their waiting list placement EAD.

Q11. Do I need to submit proof of economic necessity or file a Form I-765 worksheet?

A11.  No, principal petitioners and their qualifying family members do not need to submit proof of economic necessity or file a Form I-765 worksheet to receive a bona fide determination EAD.

Q12. I received a bona fide determination notice from the Vermont Service Center, but I live in California and the website says I should send my Form I-765 to Nebraska. What should I do? A12.  Please follow the directions included in the bona fide determination notice. For example, if you received a bona fide determination notice from the Vermont Service Center, send your Form I-765 to the Vermont Service Center.

Q13. Will you refund my filing fee if my Form I-765 under 8 CFR (a)(20) or (c)(14) is converted to a bona fide determination EAD?

A13.  We cannot refund the filing fee for a previously submitted Form I-765 filed under 8 CFR (a)(20) and (c)(14). Petitioners do not need to submit a filing fee for the initial Form I-765 associated with a bona fide determination EAD or EAD based on waiting list placement. Petitioners do need to submit the appropriate fee or fee waiver if they choose to renew their bona fide determination EAD or waiting list placement EAD.

Q14. Will I have an opportunity to submit additional information so I can receive a bona fide determination EAD?

A14.  When we determine a principal petitioner will not be granted a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action, we will issue a Request for Evidence (RFE) stating that we will not grant a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action and request the additional evidence we need for the waiting list adjudication.

Consequently, a principal petitioner who does not receive a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action still is able to obtain employment authorization and a grant of deferred action through waiting list placement, if they are found eligible for U nonimmigrant status but for the annual statutory cap. If we determine that the principal petitioner can be placed on the waiting list, that decision generally does not affect the timeline in which we adjudicate the petition for final determination of U nonimmigrant status. A determination that a petitioner (principal petitioner or qualifying family member) will not receive a bona fide determination EAD and deferred action is not a denial of Form I-918 (or Form I-918A) or the initial Form I-765.

Q15. My family member was living outside of the United States when I filed my Form I-918. Does that mean my family member will not receive a bona fide determination? Do I need to request the bona fide determination and submit Form I-765 now that they are in the United States?

A15.  The bona fide determination process is for principal petitioners and their qualifying family members living in the United States. We will generally adjudicate cases for bona fide determinations in receipt date order, starting with the oldest pending petitions that did not already go through a waiting list adjudication as of June 14, 2021.

We will initiate bona fide determination adjudications for pending petitions that are not already on the waiting list without any action required by principal petitioners, qualifying family members, or counsel. We first determine whether the principal petitioner may receive a bona fide determination. After the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination, we then determine if the qualifying family member living in the United States may receive a bona fide determination.

The goal of the bona fide determination process is to address the significant increases in the volume of U nonimmigrant petitions and the backlog of petitions awaiting placement on the waiting list or final adjudication. All principal petitioners residing in the United States are considered for bona fide determination review, as this review saves limited agency resources and provides interim benefits to the greatest number of petitioners in a more efficient time frame. USCIS encourages the use of lawful, safe, and orderly processes for entering the United States.

If the qualifying family member has updated their current address with USCIS to show they are residing in the United States, we will review their petition for a bona fide determination EAD and no further action will be necessary. If a qualifying family member updates their current address with USCIS to show they are residing in the United States after the principal petitioner receives a bona fide determination, then there may be delays in the bona fide determination review process for the qualifying family member given workload and resource priorities. If the principal petitioner does not live in the United States when we review their petition, we will perform a waiting list adjudication.

Follow the instructions at the How to Change Your Address webpage to update your address for Form I-918 or Form I-918A.

Q16. How long will it take to receive my bona fide determination EAD?

A16.  We are committed to adjudicating petitions in a timely and efficient manner. You can find current processing time information at the Check Case Processing Times webpage. The time range reflects the time from receipt to when we issue either a bona fide determination notice or a notice that we will consider the petition for waiting list placement. It does not reflect the current processing times from initial receipt to the final issuance of U nonimmigrant status.

Q17. How does the bona fide determination process affect certifying officials?

A17.  The bona fide determination process does not change the role of certifying officials who complete the law enforcement certification. We evaluate whether their Form I-918, Supplement B, meets initial evidence requirements during the bona fide determination process. We then consider whether their Form I-918, Supplement B, as well as the other evidence in the record, establishes eligibility during the final adjudication of Form I-918 when visas are available under the statutory cap. A complete and properly filed Form I-918, Supplement B, is a requirement for both the bona fide determination EAD and the final adjudication of Form I-918, so we encourage certifying officials to answer all questions on the form as fully as possible.

Q18. Can I renew my bona fide determination EAD and grant of deferred action?

A18.  Generally, yes. If we do not adjudicate a principal petitioner or qualifying family member’s petition for U nonimmigrant status before the 4-year validity period of the EAD and deferred action ends, the noncitizen may apply for renewal according to the Form I-765 Instructions. If granted, the noncitizen would receive a bona fide determination EAD and grant of deferred action for another 4-year validity period.

At any point during the validity period, we have the right to revoke a bona fide determination EAD and terminate the grant of deferred action if we determine that the bona fide determination EAD and deferred action are no longer warranted, or if we issued the prior bona fide determination EAD in error. For example, we may revoke the bona fide determination EAD and terminate the grant of deferred action if the Form I-918 Supplement B is withdrawn, or if, within our discretion, we determine a national security or public safety concern is present.

For more information, please see  Chapter 5: Bona Fide Determination, A. Bona Fide Determination, 6. Request to Renew Bona Fide Determination Employment Authorization Document and Deferred Action .

Q19. How long will my bona fide determination EAD and grant of deferred action be valid?

A19.  An initial bona fide determination EAD and grant of deferred action will be valid for 4 years. The grant of deferred action will begin on the issuance date listed on your EAD. The bona fide determination process provides both a bona fide determination EAD and a grant of deferred action to petitioners who meet the criteria; you cannot get either alone.

Petitioners who do not receive a bona fide determination EAD and grant of deferred action, but who eventually receive waiting list placement, if eligible, will also receive an EAD and grant of deferred action for 4 years to promote consistency and fairness in the U program.

Q20. How does the bona fide determination process impact petitioners who are in removal proceedings?

A20.  The bona fide determination process satisfies the prima facie standard that U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) previously requested in specific circumstances. The steps taken to determine whether a petition is bona fide and whether a petitioner receives a bona fide determination rely on the initial evidence submitted with a petition for U nonimmigrant status, as well as the results of background checks. We will continue to coordinate with ICE on individual cases as requested by ICE. See  Chapter 5: Bona Fide Determination, C. Adjudicative Process, 4. Prima Facie Approval .

Q21: I have seen information posted by USCIS on the Policy Manual webpage. Are there other materials that USCIS or DHS has released to the public about the bona fide determination process?

A21.  We have released the following materials:

• PM-V3-Part C: Bona Fide Determination Process
• PM-V3-Part C Appendix: Bona Fide Determination Process Flowchart (PDF, 95.1 KB)
• Victims of Criminal Activity: U Nonimmigrant Status
• USCIS Issues Policy Providing Further Protections for Victims of Crime News Release
• Twitter / Twitter-Spanish
• Facebook / Facebook-Spanish
• English/Spanish Stakeholder Message

Q22. Where else can I find more information about the bona fide determination process?

A22.  We introduced the bona fide determination process in the  USCIS Policy Manual  on June 14, 2021. You can find information on the process in  Volume 3, Part C, Chapter 5 , as well as the Special Instructions sections of our  Form I-765  and  Form I-918  pages. You can find a flowchart of the process for principal petitioners in the “appendices” tab in the USCIS Policy Manual.

Q23. How can I stay up to date on USCIS policies?

A23.  You can sign up to receive email notifications of new alerts from USCIS.

Forms and Document Downloads

Form I-918 (PDF, 665.9 KB)

Instructions for Form I-918 and Form I-918, Supplement A (PDF, 456.89 KB)

Form I-918, Supplement A, Petition for Qualifying Family Member of U-1 Recipient (PDF, 666.32 KB)

Form I-918, Supplement B, U Nonimmigrant Status Certification (PDF, 404.36 KB)

Instructions for Form I-918, Supplement B (PDF, 287.08 KB)

Form Details

04/01/24 . Starting June 3, 2024, we will accept only the 04/01/24 edition. Until then, you can also use the 12/06/21 edition. You can find the edition date at the bottom of the page on the form and instructions.

Dates are listed in mm/dd/yy format.

If you complete and print this form to mail it, make sure that the form edition date and page numbers are visible at the bottom of all pages and that all pages are from the same form edition. If any of the form’s pages are missing or are from a different form edition, we may reject your form.

If you need help downloading and printing forms, read our instructions . 

You can find the filing fee for Form I-918 by visiting our Fee Schedule page.

Please do not submit this checklist with your Form I-918. The checklist is an optional tool to use as you prepare your form, but does not replace statutory, regulatory, and form instruction requirements. We recommend that you review these requirements before completing and submitting your form. Do not send original documents unless specifically requested in the form instructions or applicable regulations.

If you submit any documents (copies or original documents, if requested) in a foreign language, you must include a full English translation along with a certification from the translator verifying that the translation is complete and accurate, and that they are competent to translate from the foreign language into English.

Did you provide the following?

• Your completed Supplement B Certification;
• Evidence you are the victim of qualifying criminal activity;
• Evidence you have suffered substantial physical or mental abuse;
• Evidence you possess information concerning criminal activity, and that the criminal activity is qualifying and violated United States law or occurred in the United States;
• Evidence you have been, are being, or are likely to be helpful to a certifying official in the investigation or prosecution of qualifying criminal activity;
• A personal statement;
• If you are inadmissible, an application for a waiver of inadmissibility on Form I-192, Application for Advance Permission to Enter as a Nonimmigrant ; and
• Credible documentation of the claimed relationship;
• An explanation of why required documents are not available (if applicable); and
• If your qualifying family member is inadmissible, Form I-192.

Filing Tips:  Review our  Tips for Filing Forms by Mail  page for information on how to ensure we will accept your form.

Do not forget to sign your form. We will reject and return any unsigned form.

Principal U Nonimmigrants: You are authorized to work once we have approved your underlying petitions for U nonimmigrant status. We will automatically issue an Employment Authorization Document (EAD) when we approve your petition. You do not need to file a separate Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , to receive an EAD related to the approval of your petition for nonimmigrant status.

Derivative U Nonimmigrants: If you reside inside the United States, you are authorized to work once we approve the derivative petition for U nonimmigrant status. However, you will not automatically receive an EAD. You must file Form I-765 to request an EAD related to the approval of your derivative petition.

We can only issue employment authorization for principal and derivative petitioners after we approve the underlying U nonimmigrant status petition, regardless of when you file Form I-765.

Statutory Cap: If the statutory cap is reached in a fiscal year, we will use the bona fide determination process and waiting list process as described below.

Bona Fide Determination:  If you live in the United States, you may receive employment authorization and deferred action if you have a pending bona fide petition and warrant a favorable exercise of discretion. If you have not yet filed Form I-918, you may submit your Form I-765 with your Form I-918 petition. If you have a pending Form I-918 or Form I-918A and have not already submitted Form I-765, Application for Employment Authorization , please submit a Form I-765 now to the appropriate address in the “Where to File” section.

Waiting List:  If you do not receive employment authorization and deferred action through the bona fide determination process, we will review your petition for the waiting list under 8 CFR 214.14(d)(2). Petitioners for U nonimmigrant status and derivatives in the United States who are granted deferred action under this provision can apply for an EAD based on deferred action. We will only approve these EADs after DHS has deferred action in your case, regardless of when you file Form I-765.

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How To Write An Asylum Statement

Individuals in the US who are afraid of persecution in their home country may file for asylum in the US. Asylum is a type of protection the US government grants someone who has been persecuted or fears future persecution, in their home country.

Part of the asylum filing process is to write an asylum statemen t, and we will take a close look at how to write an asylum statement.

Individuals who demonstrate past or potential future persecution, due to their race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group, and/or due to their political opinion, are generally eligible for asylum . This is true as long as the persecution is carried out by the government and/or a group that the government cannot or will not control. 

Asylum Application Rules and Your Personal Statement

Although there are several ways to apply for asylum, including an affirmative asylum application process and a defensive asylum application process, the rules, requirements, and best practices are often the same.

For example, if you are filing for asylum, you should consider submitting a personal declaration as part of your asylum application. A personal declaration, or personal statement, explaining your story and why you are filing for asylum is generally helpful to your case. Although a personal statement is not strictly required, it is often better to have a well-written declaration submitted prior to your interview or court date .

What To Include In Your Personal Asylum Statment

In the personal statement, you have the ability to explain what happened to you in your home country clearly and without interruption.

A well-written personal statement also helps the Immigration Judge or U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) officer by giving them the opportunity to read about your story and understand the grounds of your case ahead of time.

It is always a good idea to work with an experienced immigration attorney when applying for asylum, especially as immigration attorneys can help you with your personal statement to ensure that your statement is the best possible for your case.

Beginning To Write An Asylum Statement

Many asylum applicants are uncertain about how to write a personal statement and don’t know what type of information to include. While there are no exact official rules about how to write a personal statement, there are a number of things to keep in mind to help you write your story.

Personal Asylum Statment Introduction

First, the statement should begin with a general introduction of yourself and your dependents on your asylum case . This section may include the names and birthdates of all applicants/dependents as well as the location of births, and citizenship country or countries. You can also provide background information including your education status, especially if this information is important to your case or it helps readers understand your current status and situation.

The introduction section is specifically an introduction point to your statement, so it is best to include information that you feel will best help the judge or officer understand who you are. 

Write An Asylum Statment In Multiple Sections

There are multiple ways to write a personal statement. For example, you could write down all the things that happened to you in chronological order, this means that you would describe everything that occurred in the order that they happened to you.

Or you could write your statement in sections describing what you are afraid of and using the incidents that happened to you as examples of the persecution you are afraid of. You could also create a statement that combines different styles.

What To Include In Your Asylum Statment

There is no exact formula for describing your story. Instead, what is important to keep in mind is that you make sure to include the following items:

• Explain the persecution you experienced and/or the persecution you fear will happen in your country, and explain why you are or will be persecuted.
• Make sure to describe how the persecution is due to or connected to your race, religion, nationality, membership in a particular social group, and/or due to your political opinion.
• Describe everything that happened to you in your country that made you leave the country.
• Explain what you fear will happen to you if you returned and explain who/what group you are afraid of.
• Include any incidents that depict your fears such as incidents of threats, warnings, attacks, violence, and/or any other harm, etc.
• Include descriptions of incidents or targeting of other family members or even friends if they face similar risks or are similar to you in their situation.
• Explain why you cannot relocate to any other part of your country to be safe and explain why the government or law enforcement cannot, will not, or did not help you.
• “I declare under penalty of perjury under the laws of The United States that the foregoing is true and correct.”

Once you have completed the statement, make sure to sign and date the document. You may also want to consider going to an official notary and signing the document before them so they can notarize the statement. Again, this is NOT a requirement, but it does add a layer of verification to show that you did in fact sign the document. 

How Much Detail to Include On Your Asylum Statement

When you are writing your story, do not get held up by unimportant details. Make sure to include details that are helpful to your case, but it is not important to describe every color, shape, and smell of every incident. When there are too many details included, the reader can get overwhelmed.

Similarly, many applicants think that they must include every single date and time that something happened, but they often have trouble remembering these details. You do not have to be so exact. If you cannot independently recollect a date or time, then do not include it. You can make more general statements about the date. For instance, you might say that it happened in “early January.”

If you can’t remember the month, you could say “at the beginning of the year.” Sometimes it is even ok to say something happened a “few weeks or months later.” Just make sure that you do not guess on dates and write them into the statement because if you can’t remember the date you wrote during the interview, the officer or judge could think that you are not telling the truth.

Addressing Major Changes With Your Asylum Statement

In addition to these details, make sure to address any major changes in your country since you left, if it makes a difference to your story. If there have been major elections or if social or political conditions have changed, make sure to explain why you are still in danger despite these changes. Similarly, if there have been additional developments to your case since you came to the US, please make sure to include this in your statement as well.

For instance, if you have found out that people have been searching for you since you left, or if family or friends have been threatened because of you, or if more warnings have been issued to you or about you, make sure to provide this information.

Also, if you have continued to engage in activity that puts you at risk in your country, especially activities like posting on social media, or publishing information some other way, make sure to describe this and explain why it puts you even more at risk for persecution.

Keep in mind that any major developments should be at least mentioned in your personal statement. You will always have the opportunity to discuss details and specifics in your interview or before the judge, but you don’t want to leave out anything that will be important to discuss at that time.

FAQs To Write An Asylum Statement

How long should an asylum personal statement be, is there an exact template or best way to write a statement, how should i write my statement if my english is not good, conclusion on how to write an asylum statment.

Your personal statement is an important part of your asylum application. The asylum personal statement gives you the opportunity to tell your story and describe why you are seeking asylum. There are many different ways to write your asylum personal statement. If you have any questions about applying for asylum or writing your personal statement, consult a trained immigration attorney .

Table Of Contents

Asylum Denial Reasons in 2024

How to provide evidence for your asylum case, what is race-based asylum, can i apply for asylum while on a j1 visa.

• 2 Examples of What to Include in Your Personal Statement
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Bringing your loved ones into Canada to gain PR (permanent residence) status can be daunting. That is because there are just so many requirements to fulfill, and missing one document can cost you your chances. One of the most important yet hardest to do for the application is to prove that your relationship is genuine. Fortunately, there is one thing you can do and present to confirm that your relationship is real, and that is with a personal statement.

How do you make a compelling personal statement? Generally, you would want to fill it with as much relevant information as possible. We say relevant because what is in your personal statement will depend entirely on your situation. Here are a few examples of that.

The encounter

How you met your partner will dictate what you will include in your personal statement. For example, if you met each other online, then you will need to provide specific information and proof to support that. This will include the platform on which you communicated as well as the frequency at which you were in contact. Other things you can include to establish that you are indeed together is to write clearly just why you two decided to get together in the first place.

You probably have already met the other person in real life and have spent considerable time together. As such, you should include evidence to support this, most notably the day you first met face-to-face. Do this by recounting the date as well as the location where you met. Include photos, if any, to provide further proof.

The marriage

With so many ways one can get married to their partner, you must be clear about how exactly the two of you got married and the reason behind the decision. For instance, if you went through an arranged marriage, you would need to state why it happened and why your parents think you and your spouse were a good match. Note that some reasons are unacceptable for immigration applications. A great example of this is to have gotten married for the sole purpose of getting into a particular country such as Canada.

That said, you should include as many details of the wedding day as possible. Write down the names of those responsible for making the ceremony happen, detailing each individual’s role. You can also include the date, location, and photos of the event.

The above are just examples of what you should include in your personal statement. Remember, your personal statement will be different from anyone else’s, so there might be other requirements that you will need to submit.

Nevertheless, the key takeaway is that you should include as much information as possible regarding your relationship with your partner in your personal statement. From the first day you met your love to the day you married them, include as much accurate information as possible. By doing so, you give yourself a much higher chance of proving your relationship to be authentic and finally bring your partner, or yourself, into Canada.

If you’re looking for professional help from a  Canadian immigration firm , please contact us at [email protected] or call 1-888-404-8472.

Study in Canada, Home of the World’s Best Education System

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Home » Blog » How to Write an I-751 Affidavit Letter of Support

How to Write an I-751 Affidavit Letter of Support

April 16, 2024 Replace/Renew Green Card

When filing Form I-751 to remove the conditions on residence, the conditional permanent resident also needs to submit evidence that the relationship was entered in “good faith.” U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) wants to confirm that the marriage was not entered into for the purposes of evading immigration laws. Much confusion surrounds the need to submit an I-751 affidavit.

What is an I-751 affidavit (letter of support)? Is the letter sufficient proof of a bona fide marriage? Who should write a letter of support? Do I need I-751 affidavits if I am getting a divorce? How should someone write the letter of support? Do you have a sample I-751 affidavit? How can CitizenPath help me?

I-751 Letter of Support, Explained

These “letters of support” are statements written by people that know the couple and have first-hand knowledge of the relationship. The I-751 affidavit helps support other evidence that the couple submits to demonstrate that the marriage was entered in good faith and is a not a “sham” marriage.

The I-751 affidavit is not mandatory, but it’s strongly suggested by many attorneys. What’s more, strong evidence of a bona fide marriage may help petitioners avoid the I-751 interview. Affidavits are most useful when the petitioner’s evidence of a bona fide marriage is weak and possibly insufficient.

An Affidavit is Not Primary Evidence

An I-751 affidavit can never replace strong, objective evidence that a bona fide marriage exists. The best evidence of a genuine, good faith marriage includes proof of having children together, joint finances (such as bank accounts, insurance, and retirement plans) and jointly owned property. These documents demonstrate that the couple lives together and is planning for the future together.

Most attorneys will agree that an affidavit is never as good the primary forms of evidence mentioned above. However, petitioners can use the I-751 affidavit letter to fill in gaps or build a stronger case on top of existing evidence. But petitioners should expect USCIS to weigh the objective forms of evidence more heavily than an I-751 affidavit.

33 Great Documents for Proving a Bona Fide Marriage on an I-751 Petition

Who should write an i-751 affidavit.

Typically, I-751 affidavit letters of support are written by friends of the married couple. The letter is not limited to friends; it may be written by a family member or even a religious leader. Ideally the person writing the letter of support has known the couple since before the marriage and until the present time. There is no requirement that the writer must be a U.S. citizen or even live in the United States. But remember, they should be a close confidant that is familiar with the couple’s life together. So the writer should ideally be local to the couple.

The I-751 affidavit is the writer’s opportunity to testify to their personal experience with the couple and share observations that led to the conclusion that the couple is in love and each spouse has honest intentions to remain a married couple. Of course, it’s impossible to be sure than even the most sincere couple will remain married forever. The writer can only testify to the extent of their personal knowledge.

Use of an Affidavit When Filing with a I-751 Waiver

In some cases, a marriage that was entered with the best intentions does not have a happy ending. Bona fide marriages could terminate early due to divorce or death. In these situations, the conditional resident must file Form I-751 with a waiver for the joint filing requirement. Even if the marriage didn't work out, the conditional resident must still prove that they entered the marriage in good faith and intended to build a life together.

Proving a bona fide marriage does become more difficult when the conditional resident is no longer married. An I-751 affidavit can help to establish the good intentions of the couple and the unfortunate reasons for the marriage ending (particularly in cases with spousal abuse).

The conditional permanent resident should contact an immigration attorney before filing Form I-751 with a waiver for the joint filing requirement. In these cases, USCIS will scrutinize the I-751 petition more heavily. An attorney can help the conditional resident achieve the best outcome.

Properly Created Affidavit for Form I-751

An affidavit is basically a sworn letter. The person who writes an affidavit is an affiant. The affiant swears to the affidavit’s truth. When submitting I-751 affidavits to USCIS, experts recommend a typed letter. Every I-751 affidavit should cover these basic points:

• Full name and address of affiant
• Date and place of birth
• Relationship to the conditional resident and spouse
• An account of your relationship explaining:
• How you met the couple
• Time frame you have known the couple
• Give a sense of the frequency (i.e. frequently socialize)
• Details explaining how the person acquired this knowledge (i.e. friends)
• Date and signature

Remember, the I-751 affidavit is supporting evidence to prove that the couple has a bona fide marriage. That is, the marriage is true and genuine. So the affiant should ideally provide a short account of why they believe this is true. The affiant can use a story that demonstrates the couple’s mutual commitment, the hard work that the couple have put into the immigration process, etc.

The letter does not need to be notarized, but it is important to include a sworn statement that states, “I swear, under penalty of perjury, that the foregoing is true and correct to the best of my knowledge.”

The petitioner should understand that an affidavit is only supporting evidence. You must use primary forms of objective evidence to prove a good faith marriage and then use the affidavit to back it up.

Prove a Good Faith Marriage When Filing I-751

Sample i-751 affidavit.

CitizenPath has prepared a downloadable I-751 affidavit sample that you can forward to friends who are willing to write a letter of support. The downloadable PDF file includes a list of the basic points that the writer should cover in the letter and an example I-751 affidavit.

Use the sample I-751 affidavit as an example. Remember that each letter is unique and should contain elements that are personal to your story. The affiant should be honest and use anecdotes to demonstrate why they came to the conclusion that the couple has a bona fide marriage.

Although it is rare, the affiant should understand that they may be required to testify before an immigration officer as to the information contained in the affidavit.

USCIS may require the couple to attend an interview after filing Form I-751 and the required evidence. However, the odds of avoiding this interview are greatly improved by providing adequate (quantity) and strong (quality) evidence of a bona fide marriage in the petition package. Many couples are able to avoid the I-751 interview. Filing at least two well-prepared I-751 affidavit letters of support in addition to primary forms of objective evidence can help seal the deal.

Tips for Avoiding the I-751 Interview After Conditional Residence

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The Law School Personal Statement: Tips and Templates

Photo by Alejandro Escamilla on Unsplash

Published February 28, 2024

Editor's Note: This post was originally published in July 2019 and has been updated for accuracy and comprehensiveness.

The stress of cramming for the LSAT (or GRE) is behind you, and you survived the intolerably long wait for your score. You have researched schools, requested transcripts, secured recommendation letters, and updated your resume. Now only the dreadful personal statement is preventing you from hitting the submit button.

So, you might ask:  Does anyone even read the personal statement?  Yes .  Could it be a make or break deciding factor?   Definitely . 

While your standardized test score(s) and GPA are good law school success predictors, non-numerical factors such as your resume, recommendation letters and the personal statement give the Admissions Committee an idea of your individuality and how you might uniquely contribute to the law school. Most importantly, your personal statement is a sample of your writing, and strong writing skills are critically important to success throughout law school and in legal practice. 

If the thought of writing about yourself makes you cringe, adhere to these 5 tips to avoid disaster. 

BONUS :  Scroll down to review 5 law school personal statement samples. 

1. Make it personal

The Admissions Committee will have access to your transcripts and recommendation letters, and your resume will provide insight into your outside-the-classroom experiences, past and current job responsibilities, and other various accomplishments. So, the personal statement is your best opportunity to share something personal they don’t already know. Be sure to provide insight into who you are, your background and how it’s shaped the person you are today, and finally, who you hope to be in the future.

2. Be genuine

If you haven’t faced adversity or overcome major life obstacles, it’s okay. Write honestly about your experiences and interests. And whatever you do, don’t fabricate, or exaggerate—the reader can often see through this. Find your unique angle and remember that a truthful and authentic essay is always your best approach.

Tip: Don’t use big words you don’t understand. This will certainly do more harm than good.

3. Tackle the “Why?”

Get creative but remember to home in on the why . Unless the personal statement prompt has specific requirements, it is recommended you include what influenced you to pursue a legal education. Consider including what impact you hope to make in the world post-graduation.

4. Keep it interesting & professional

The last thing you want to do is bore the reader, so keep it interesting, personable, and engaging. A touch of humor is okay, but keep in mind that wit and sarcasm can be easily misinterpreted. Demonstrate maturity, good judgment and tact and you won’t end up offending the reader.

5. Edit & proofread

The importance of enrolling and graduating strong writers cannot be stressed enough, so don’t forget the basics! Include an introduction, supporting paragraphs and a closing. Write clearly, concisely, and persuasively. Take time to edit, proofread--walk away from it--then edit and proofread again before submitting. 

Tip :   Consider consulting a Pre-Law Advisor or mentor to help you proofread and edit. Sound easy enough? It is if you take it seriously. Don’t think you have to craft the “best” or most competitive personal statement, just the most “genuine” personal statement. Remember, there is nobody with your exact set of life experiences, background, or point of view. Just do you.

Guest blogger  Lindsay Gladney  is the Vice Dean for Admissions at UB School of Law. 

Office of Admissions University at Buffalo School of Law 408 O'Brian Hall, Buffalo, NY 14260 716-645-2907 [email protected]

Learn more about the law school admissions process and School of Law community through an individual meeting with one of our staff members.

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Submit this form to receive an application fee waiver.

Additional Resources:   

• Law School Application Checklist: Everything You Need To Know
• Law School Application Advice to Ignore
• When Should I Submit My Law School Application: Timeline & Tips
• 5 Benefits of Attending a State Law School

Bonus: 5 Law School Personal Statement Samples

1. this applicant writes about their experience hiking a mountain peak, what it taught them, and how it reaffirmed their affinity for the natural environment..

As I trudged my way up the path, only about a mile from the peak, I could not escape the creeping sense of self-doubt entering my mind. That day I had willingly accompanied my best friend on a hike up a “fourteener” (a mountain peak in Colorado with at least 14,000 feet of elevation). With a false sense of bravado, I jumped at the idea because I considered myself to be an avid hiker and in decent physical condition despite my inexperience at that altitude. Nearingthe top, with my head pounding and my knees weakening, my confidence had been shaken by the altitude sickness that started to take hold of me. I began asking myself questions like, “Will I finish?”, “Why did I even agree to this?”, and “Is this even worth it?”. However, as I took a sip of my water to rest and collect myself, it registered that the opportunity to encounter such natural wonder might not strike again. I knew that if I turned back, I would regret it and possibly never have the chance again. Accordingly, I decided to do my best to finish the trek.

Even though I was still in considerable discomfort, that sensation seemed to fade away when I finally reached the peak. I became enamored with the magnificence of the surrounding mountain range and the epic view it had to offer. The peaks extended out forever, some stretching high enough to look as though one could reach up and touch the clouds themselves. Crisp green alpine forests totally engulfed the surrounding valleys and eventually led down into the crystal blue water of the lakes and rivers below. Cliché though it may be words truly cannot do justice to such a surreal experience.

As I reflect on the experience, I am proud to have accomplished such a physically challenging adventure, but perhaps more grateful for what the hike taught me about myself. First, I gained a sense of confidence in my ability to persevere despite difficult circumstances and especially when faced with self-doubt. Indeed, I have drawn from the experience on numerous occasions to remind myself that I am capable of enduring whatever challenges life may throw at me. Secondly, I believe this hike to have been a defining moment that reaffirmed and strengthened my affinity for the natural environment. I developed this fondness from an early age where much of my childhood was spent outdoors, whether it was fishing and camping with my father or hiking and playing sports with my friends. However, the wonder I felt on that peak in the Rockies was something I seldom experienced growing up in Buffalo, New York. It is a feeling that I hope all can feel at some point in their lives and partly why I believe it to be so important that we do all we can to protect and preserve the environment. The importance of conservation is greater now than ever amid the challenges posed by issues such as pollution and global climate change.

During my undergraduate coursework, I was able to take a class in Environmental Law, where I learned about state and federal statutes that regulate water, soil, air pollution, resource conservation and recovery, and actions of the Environmental Protection Agency. For example, we studied the Clean Air Act and how it is applied during legal disputes to enforce national air quality standards. Participating in this course showed me that there is an opportunity to apply my enthusiasm for the environment into the legal profession as it is my eventual goal to represent those damaged by pollution. I believe studying at the University of Buffalo School of Law will allow me to pursue my goals and make a positive contribution towards environmental problems by serving those who have been affected in the local and global community. Although the experience will be challenging, I am excited for the opportunity, motivated by a passion for the environment and knowing that I possess the ability to persevere in the face of doubt.

2. How one applicant’s experience interviewing incarcerated individuals shaped their understanding of our justice system and influenced them to pursue policy work.

Above me, in a giant watchtower, stood a large man holding a semi-automatic rifle while staring down at me. I heard the echoing clink of a prison lock, allowing me to pass through a massive barbed-wire fence. Although I begged and pleaded for the opportunity to interview an inmate at a maximum-security prison, I have never felt more intimidated than I did in this moment. I was only seventeen years old, sitting in a visitation room filled with orange-suited men. An overwhelming sense of fear crowded my thoughts. In fact, I was nearly paralyzed by the environment I had found myself in. I could hardly conduct an interview, but thankfully, my interviewee, Mr. Thomas Gant, had about twenty years of stories to tell. He ambitiously shared

first-hand accounts of prison fights, housing raids, gang activity, and injustices that he has endured during his sentence of twenty-five years to life. His stories were captivating and filled with raw emotion. It was evident that he too, felt a similar sense of fear each and every day.

Fast forward to my last semester of undergrad, where I spent four months at the Ingham County Jail working with incarcerated men and women to prepare them to transition into our communities. I interviewed dozens of orange-suited men each week and loved every second of it.

I was eager to contribute to a program that helped break the vicious cycle of incarceration and confront the plethora of barriers to reentry. I often think about Mr. Gant and how his stories ignited a passion within me that still drives my ambition to this day. If I had the chance, I would thank him for inspiring me to pursue every opportunity to help incarcerated men and women, such as those at the Ingham County Jail. I would share with him the knowledge from my academic and professional experiences, in hopes of keeping his life on track upon release, and most of all, in hopes of protecting him from the fear we shared on the day I met him.

My variety of field experiences and my success with academic rigor has surely prepared me for law school. I have completed several other justice-related internships which have provided me with a comprehensive understanding of how our justice system operates in practice, which often deviates from how our justice system operates in textbooks. These field experiences led me to pursue a bachelor’s degree in criminal justice, where my classes focused on the history of corrections and how other countries are utilizing confinement to successfully rehabilitate offenders. Academia quickly taught me that the majority of people simply accept our prison system for what it is, and very few question its punitive and unjust nature. Fortunately, my bachelor’s degree in social relations and policy allowed me to challenge conventional wisdom and confront policy issues as they relate to factors of class, race, ethnicity, gender, and religion – all of which exist in our prison system. My professors constantly pushed me to find ways that the American corrections system could change the course of its future. I spent countless hours researching the topic of injustice behind bars, writing numerous analytical essays and policy proposals, and presenting interdisciplinary conclusions to rooms filled with aspiring politicians. I look forward to perfecting these skills, sharing my experiences to enhance classroom discussions, and engaging in additional field experiences and clinics while in law school.

Ultimately, I am confident that my career fulfilment will lie in policy making and advocacy for those who have faced injustice within our prison system and in the free world. My interest in studying law and my decision to apply to University at Buffalo School of Law are a result of my longstanding enthusiasm to advocate for and to improve the lives of people impacted by incarceration. The University at Buffalo will provide me with both the necessary education as well as the hands-on experience to ensure that I will confidently enter the legal world prepared to contest the many issues of justice reform.  

3. How one applicant found their voice, and why a stale piece of toast is displayed alongside their college diploma.

Growing up, I was nonplussed by the idea of awards. While other friends entered cut-throat competitions over grades and the attention of our coaches, I cared more about preserving my friendships with people than beating them on any field or test. Whenever I found myself winning, I tended to remain quiet about my victories. Most of the time.

In the waning weeks of my junior year of high school, my tireless U.S. History teacher – Mr. Welgoss– kept us showing up to class each day by breaking us into debate teams and having individuals from each side square off against each other around designated topics. The winner would take away a most delicious reward: A single slice of white bread toast. Pun intended. This was when I learned that I was to define the best Supreme Court Cases in U.S. History and then defend my stance in front of the entire class. Alone. I was completely terrified.

This is the perfect place to share just a bit about high school me. You likely knew me well. I was that kid curled into a corner at the back of the classroom in an effort to make myself smaller. During the first week of each school year, I sized up my teachers, figured out which of them was into cold calling on students, and positioned myself within the room accordingly. While I was a dedicated student and history geek who loved to read, I was not a particularly extroverted one. There was no part of this assignment that I was excited about.

To make matters worse, I was assigned Marbury v. Madison, perhaps one of the most boring cases in the eyes of a bunch of fresh faced politically active 16-year-olds who had just spent an entire year learning about the societal gravity of cases like Brown v. Board of Education and Roe v. Wade. Still, I did careful research. I composed a meticulous claim. I didn’t want to embarrass myself, so I did the work that I needed to.

Along the way, I fell in love with the assignment. This was the first time I experienced that rare moment as a researcher when everything seems to click. I’d never had that moment as a research and argument writer before, and I have been chasing that feeling since. I love leaning into knotty problems, following research, and learning processes that help me untie them, and then, showing others how to unscramble crossed lines themselves, when they need to.

So, you likely know how this story ends. I won the debate. That piece of toast, miraculously mold free after six years, sits on my bookshelf alongside my college diploma, reminding me of the moment I not only found my passion, but my voice.

Since the moment I won that single slice of super processed food that still looks as fresh as the day I brought it home, there have been other moments that solidified my decision to study law. As a freshman at Nazareth University, my newfound interest in the law inspired my decision-making as I chose my major and began coursework that I inevitably fell in love with. When I started my internship at a local non-profit during undergraduate, I saw how my research and application of the law could help me to advocate for marginalized communities. My desire to

practice law was again upheld when I began paralegal work for Berardi Immigration Law the day after I earned my degree. My dedication to this work has taught me that there are often a variety of solutions for complicated problems. Many assume that creativity is something you’re born with. Experience has taught me it's not quite this simple, though. Constraint often inspires creativity, and to me, this is what makes the law the most wonderful muse.

I’m the daughter of a writer and the sister of a designer. My great grandfather owned a hobby shop. I never enjoyed most of these things, and try as I might, any attempt to practice arts and crafts always ended badly and left me feeling like the least creative bird on my family tree. Imagine my surprise then, as the last few years of learning, work, and a piece of toast began revealing the creative nature of the law to me. Imagine my delight when I realized that I have certain strengths here, too.   

4. This applicant writes about their never-ending pursuit of knowledge and how pursuing law provides a practical outlet for their curiosity.

There are very few things in life that are more important to me than learning. I have been driven by curiosity, and the never-ending pursuit of knowledge has always been a great source of joy for me, both inside and outside of the classroom. I finished my undergraduate studies in December of 2019, with plans to work in France as a teacher that coming fall. I was beyond excited that I had been afforded an opportunity to pursue such a dear intellectual passion. The intervening pandemic meant that I had to make difficult decisions about the direction my future would take, and ultimately this meant setting aside some of my own ambitions in order to take care of my loved ones.

While my immediate post-graduation plans did not work out, I have never set aside my curiosity. If anything, the challenges of post-collegiate life have reaffirmed to me the vital importance of learning as a constant and on-going part of living. As a student of history and languages, many of my college peers nurtured plans of attending law school, and the idea of studying law has long interested me.

In June of 2022 I began working as a legal assistant at a small law firm in Queens. I hoped that job would give me a chance to learn about the legal field, while pushing me to grow as a professional. Being confronted with the vast complexity of the law has been a humbling experience, but also an endlessly intriguing one. At work, I relish any opportunity to learn more about the law, and I have found that the field is perfectly suited to the academic skills that I have spent my entire life building.

What is perhaps most exciting to me about the prospect of studying law is the idea of having a practical, real-world outlet for all the curiosity and scholarly instincts that I have nurtured throughout my life. Studying case law, building arguments based on evidence and legal research, using language itself as a tool; all these skills that I have seen to be so vital to the successful practice of law feel like natural extensions of the skills that I’ve developed across my life. Performing research was of course integral to my studying history, and combing through Westlaw as a legal assistant has often reminded me of the time I would spend searching through university archives as a student, looking for information to help me build my arguments. Having studied both History and French, I am very comfortable with interpreting language that feels unfamiliar or archaic, which is certainly a necessary skill to have when studying and practicing law.

The challenges of post-graduation life have led me to do a great deal of reflecting. I’ve been forced to ask myself what makes me feel fulfilled, and at the same time have had to evaluate my own strengths and weaknesses. I’ve found that there are no simple answers, but I can affirmatively say that I have the self-confidence, motivation, and ability to be an excellent law student.

5. How a Unified Basketball program inspired this applicant to pursue education law.

I never realized how great of an impact one policy could have on so many people until I was in high school. I knew how far-reaching the law was, but it became so much more apparent and personal when it began to impact the lives of my friends and classmates in the Unified program.

When I began high school, I was still a little shy, but I was sure that I wanted to get involved in things that made a difference in other people’s lives. It was through my involvement in Student Council that I was asked by the athletic director to help start up a program called Unified Basketball. I remember being called down to the Athletic Office one day out of the blue. I felt extremely confused. I had not previously played any school sports and I never would have expected to be asked to speak with the athletic director. I also wouldn’t have expected a meeting that lasted maybe fifteen minutes to serve as a great turning point in my life.

The Unified Basketball program is a cooperative team combining students with and without intellectual disabilities, run by the Special Olympics and New York state high school sports. From that first season, the Unified program quickly grew to become one of the best experiences of my life and it continues to shape me every day. In the second year of the program, we added a Unified Bowling team, and I helped create a Unified Club so that those who might also have physical limitations that would keep them from playing sports, could still benefit from the family created in the program.

Through this program I created connections with the members of the team and our coaches, and we effectively created a family and a community greater than ourselves. Because of these friendships which I had grown to value so much, it only hurt that much more when I learned from my coach that New York’s eligibility rules for high school sports would cause some of my teammates to be ineligible to play. Although they could remain in school until the age of twenty-one, they would not be able to play after they reached a certain age or had played for a certain amount of time. One of my friends was the first on our team to age out due to these guidelines and as a team we were devastated. These policies did not line up and although the original guidelines were intended to prevent unfair advantages in competition, this really wasn’t an issue with the Unified program. Thankfully, this policy was eventually changed by the state Board of Regents to allow my teammates to play once again.

There have been two indelible legacies created through the Unified program. First, I have been able to see the impact that the program has had on students in our district’s special education program. I saw this happen for one of my teammates, who was first introduced to me by his aide as being nonverbal. He was initially very shy but as he grew more comfortable with the game and his teammates, he came out of his shell. From that first season on his confidence grew and even when I see him now, over five years later, he will rush over to give me a high-five or a fist-bump and say “Hi!” Second, is the impact the program has on my district and the community at large. During my junior year of high school, our team performed the dance “The Wobble” at our pep rally, marking the first time that our special education students were included in the homecoming event. Even years later, this tradition has continued and the response from the school and community has been extraordinary.  

This experience shaped me as a person and shifted my interests in terms of career goals. I have had an interest in education and the social sciences since I was little, but being involved in the Unified program allowed me to better understand how these interests could connect and how I can make an impact. I want to pursue a law school education and become an attorney so that I can practice education law. I want to support students, faculty, and staff to create the best possible educational environments for our future generations.

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Writers Teaching Writers

Behind the Personal Statements of Immigrants, Refugees, and Foreign Students

By Poupeh Missaghi

Personal statements highlight what CVs cannot about students: their character; their approaches to facing challenges, both personal and professional; their strengths; and their knowledge of and their ability to express themselves as individuals. For immigrants, refugees, and foreign students, oftentimes stories of immigration and relocation become central to their statements, so much so that a lot of them feel that these narratives are the only way to stand out in their audience’s eyes.

I have often worked with students and talked with friends who offhandedly and willingly amplify or embellish the issues in their home countries, the difficulties of their immigration journeys, or challenges of their personal and professional lives in between two cultures and languages, all because they have heard and learnt that “this is the story that sells.” This to me has always been problematic and saddening; it is similar to books written to fit the larger political narratives of the times and the publishing market’s demands for certain narratives of non-white people and far-away places.

I had, however, never really thought about how the mere inclusion of such stories, regardless of the level of detail or exaggeration, is really complicated and political. I only recently realized this when working with a friend who completely resisted the inclusion of such stories in his statement of purpose. I was explaining to him that sharing his recent immigration story will provide him with an opportunity to show how he overcomes challenges and grows through them, while also pointing to his multilingualism and multiculturalism. He stopped me short and firmly told me, “No, I won’t do that!” His reaction gave me pause, but I tried to make him see things through the lens of the purpose of the piece and his readers’ demands. He then continued in a sad tone, “No. Why does that need to be part of it? What if that is something about me that I don’t want to reveal? Why should my being “a recent immigrant” always be part of the conversation? What does it even matter that I am an immigrant?” He felt it offensive that in various situations he had to constantly tag himself as an “other” in the U.S., as an “outsider,” and be treated as if none of his capabilities and his accomplishments other than those related to his immigration counted, that he could only be “an immigrant” and nothing else.

His explanation and the conversation that followed were really eye-opening for me. They made me realize how I need to be careful when providing such advice to my students, and how I need to be more aware of all the layers of complexity in personal statements. Both the exaggeration of details and this resistance to telling the story reveal how the need for these “immigration” stories in statements of purpose is not simply about writing to the demands of the genre and the audience, but a sign of a larger problematic political narrative of “othering,” which could actually work against the diversification that we hope for.

Interestingly, a few days later, I came upon this essay on the same subject, which beautifully lays out the issue in more depth: How Applying to Grad School Becomes a Display of Trauma for People of Color  by Deena ElGenaidi in Electric Lit  (April 17 th , 2018). Don’t miss reading it.

Published May 16, 2018

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10 Personal Statement Essay Examples That Worked

What’s covered:, what is a personal statement.

• Essay 1: Summer Program
• Essay 2: Being Bangladeshi-American
• Essay 3: Why Medicine
• Essay 4: Love of Writing
• Essay 5: Starting a Fire
• Essay 6: Dedicating a Track
• Essay 7: Body Image and Eating Disorders
• Essay 8: Becoming a Coach
• Essay 9: Eritrea
• Essay 10: Journaling
• Is Your Personal Statement Strong Enough?

Your personal statement is any essay that you must write for your main application, such as the Common App Essay , University of California Essays , or Coalition Application Essay . This type of essay focuses on your unique experiences, ideas, or beliefs that may not be discussed throughout the rest of your application. This essay should be an opportunity for the admissions officers to get to know you better and give them a glimpse into who you really are.

In this post, we will share 10 different personal statements that were all written by real students. We will also provide commentary on what each essay did well and where there is room for improvement, so you can make your personal statement as strong as possible!

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Personal Statement Examples

Essay example #1: exchange program.

The twisting roads, ornate mosaics, and fragrant scent of freshly ground spices had been so foreign at first. Now in my fifth week of the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco, I felt more comfortable in the city. With a bag full of pastries from the market, I navigated to a bus stop, paid the fare, and began the trip back to my host family’s house. It was hard to believe that only a few years earlier my mom was worried about letting me travel around my home city on my own, let alone a place that I had only lived in for a few weeks. While I had been on a journey towards self-sufficiency and independence for a few years now, it was Morocco that pushed me to become the confident, self-reflective person that I am today.

As a child, my parents pressured me to achieve perfect grades, master my swim strokes, and discover interesting hobbies like playing the oboe and learning to pick locks. I felt compelled to live my life according to their wishes. Of course, this pressure was not a wholly negative factor in my life –– you might even call it support. However, the constant presence of my parents’ hopes for me overcame my own sense of desire and led me to become quite dependent on them. I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school. Despite all these achievements, I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success. I had always been expected to succeed on the path they had defined. However, this path was interrupted seven years after my parents’ divorce when my dad moved across the country to Oregon.

I missed my dad’s close presence, but I loved my new sense of freedom. My parents’ separation allowed me the space to explore my own strengths and interests as each of them became individually busier. As early as middle school, I was riding the light rail train by myself, reading maps to get myself home, and applying to special academic programs without urging from my parents. Even as I took more initiatives on my own, my parents both continued to see me as somewhat immature. All of that changed three years ago, when I applied and was accepted to the SNYI-L summer exchange program in Morocco. I would be studying Arabic and learning my way around the city of Marrakesh. Although I think my parents were a little surprised when I told them my news, the addition of a fully-funded scholarship convinced them to let me go.

I lived with a host family in Marrakesh and learned that they, too, had high expectations for me. I didn’t know a word of Arabic, and although my host parents and one brother spoke good English, they knew I was there to learn. If I messed up, they patiently corrected me but refused to let me fall into the easy pattern of speaking English just as I did at home. Just as I had when I was younger, I felt pressured and stressed about meeting their expectations. However, one day, as I strolled through the bustling market square after successfully bargaining with one of the street vendors, I realized my mistake. My host family wasn’t being unfair by making me fumble through Arabic. I had applied for this trip, and I had committed to the intensive language study. My host family’s rules about speaking Arabic at home had not been to fulfill their expectations for me, but to help me fulfill my expectations for myself. Similarly, the pressure my parents had put on me as a child had come out of love and their hopes for me, not out of a desire to crush my individuality.

As my bus drove through the still-bustling market square and past the medieval Ben-Youssef madrasa, I realized that becoming independent was a process, not an event. I thought that my parents’ separation when I was ten had been the one experience that would transform me into a self-motivated and autonomous person. It did, but that didn’t mean that I didn’t still have room to grow. Now, although I am even more self-sufficient than I was three years ago, I try to approach every experience with the expectation that it will change me. It’s still difficult, but I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important.

What the Essay Did Well

This is a nice essay because it delves into particular character trait of the student and how it has been shaped and matured over time. Although it doesn’t focus the essay around a specific anecdote, the essay is still successful because it is centered around this student’s independence. This is a nice approach for a personal statement: highlight a particular trait of yours and explore how it has grown with you.

The ideas in this essay are universal to growing up—living up to parents’ expectations, yearning for freedom, and coming to terms with reality—but it feels unique to the student because of the inclusion of details specific to them. Including their oboe lessons, the experience of riding the light rail by themselves, and the negotiations with a street vendor helps show the reader what these common tropes of growing up looked like for them personally. 

Another strength of the essay is the level of self-reflection included throughout the piece. Since there is no central anecdote tying everything together, an essay about a character trait is only successful when you deeply reflect on how you felt, where you made mistakes, and how that trait impacts your life. The author includes reflection in sentences like “ I felt like I had no sense of self beyond my drive for success, ” and “ I understand that just because growth can be uncomfortable doesn’t mean it’s not important. ” These sentences help us see how the student was impacted and what their point of view is.

What Could Be Improved

The largest change this essay would benefit from is to show not tell. The platitude you have heard a million times no doubt, but for good reason. This essay heavily relies on telling the reader what occurred, making us less engaged as the entire reading experience feels more passive. If the student had shown us what happens though, it keeps the reader tied to the action and makes them feel like they are there with the student, making it much more enjoyable to read. 

For example, they tell us about the pressure to succeed their parents placed on them: “ I pushed myself to get straight A’s, complied with years of oboe lessons, and dutifully attended hours of swim practice after school.”  They could have shown us what that pressure looked like with a sentence like this: “ My stomach turned somersaults as my rattling knee thumped against the desk before every test, scared to get anything less than a 95. For five years the painful squawk of the oboe only reminded me of my parents’ claps and whistles at my concerts. I mastered the butterfly, backstroke, and freestyle, fighting against the anchor of their expectations threatening to pull me down.”

If the student had gone through their essay and applied this exercise of bringing more detail and colorful language to sentences that tell the reader what happened, the essay would be really great. 

Table of Contents

Essay Example #2: Being Bangladeshi-American

Life before was good: verdant forests, sumptuous curries, and a devoted family.

Then, my family abandoned our comfortable life in Bangladesh for a chance at the American dream in Los Angeles. Within our first year, my father was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. He lost his battle three weeks before my sixth birthday. Facing a new country without the steady presence of my father, we were vulnerable — prisoners of hardship in the land of the free. We resettled in the Bronx, in my uncle’s renovated basement. It was meant to be our refuge, but I felt more displaced than ever. Gone were the high-rise condos of West L.A.; instead, government projects towered over the neighborhood. Pedestrians no longer smiled and greeted me; the atmosphere was hostile, even toxic. Schoolkids were quick to pick on those they saw as weak or foreign, hurling harsh words I’d never heard before.

Meanwhile, my family began integrating into the local Bangladeshi community. I struggled to understand those who shared my heritage. Bangladeshi mothers stayed home while fathers drove cabs and sold fruit by the roadside — painful societal positions. Riding on crosstown buses or walking home from school, I began to internalize these disparities. During my fleeting encounters with affluent Upper East Siders, I saw kids my age with nannies, parents who wore suits to work, and luxurious apartments with spectacular views. Most took cabs to their destinations: cabs that Bangladeshis drove. I watched the mundane moments of their lives with longing, aching to plant myself in their shoes. Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

As I grappled with my relationship with the Bangladeshi community, I turned my attention to helping my Bronx community by pursuing an internship with Assemblyman Luis Sepulveda. I handled desk work and took calls, spending the bulk of my time actively listening to the hardships constituents faced — everything from a veteran stripped of his benefits to a grandmother unable to support her bedridden grandchild.

I’d never exposed myself to stories like these, and now I was the first to hear them. As an intern, I could only assist in what felt like the small ways — pointing out local job offerings, printing information on free ESL classes, reaching out to non-profits. But to a community facing an onslaught of intense struggles, I realized that something as small as these actions could have vast impacts. Seeing the immediate consequences of my actions inspired me. Throughout that summer, I internalized my community’s daily challenges in a new light. I began to stop seeing the prevalent underemployment and cramped living quarters less as sources of shame. Instead, I saw them as realities that had to be acknowledged, but could ultimately be remedied. I also realized the benefits of the Bangladeshi culture I had been so ashamed of. My Bangla language skills were an asset to the office, and my understanding of Bangladeshi etiquette allowed for smooth communication between office staff and its constituents. As I helped my neighbors navigate city services, I saw my heritage with pride — a perspective I never expected to have.

I can now appreciate the value of my unique culture and background, and of living with less. This perspective offers room for progress, community integration, and a future worth fighting for. My time with Assemblyman Sepulveda’s office taught me that I can be a change agent in enabling this progression. Far from being ashamed of my community, I want to someday return to local politics in the Bronx to continue helping others access the American Dream. I hope to help my community appreciate the opportunity to make progress together. By embracing reality, I learned to live it. Along the way, I discovered one thing: life is good, but we can make it better.

This student’s passion for social justice and civic duty shines through in this essay because of how honest it is. Sharing their personal experience with immigrating, moving around, being an outsider, and finding a community allows us to see the hardships this student has faced and builds empathy towards their situation. However, what really makes it strong is that they go beyond describing the difficulties they faced and explain the mental impact it had on them as a child: Shame prickled down my spine. I distanced myself from my heritage, rejecting the traditional panjabis worn on Eid and refusing the torkari we ate for dinner every day. 

The rejection of their culture presented at the beginning of the essay creates a nice juxtaposition with the student’s view in the latter half of the essay and helps demonstrate how they have matured. They use their experience interning as a way to delve into a change in their thought process about their culture and show how their passion for social justice began. Using this experience as a mechanism to explore their thoughts and feelings is an excellent example of how items that are included elsewhere on your application should be incorporated into your essay.

This essay prioritizes emotions and personal views over specific anecdotes. Although there are details and certain moments incorporated throughout to emphasize the author’s points, the main focus remains on the student and how they grapple with their culture and identity.  

One area for improvement is the conclusion. Although the forward-looking approach is a nice way to end an essay focused on social justice, it would be nice to include more details and imagery in the conclusion. How does the student want to help their community? What government position do they see themselves holding one day? 

A more impactful ending might look like the student walking into their office at the New York City Housing Authority in 15 years and looking at the plans to build a new development in the Bronx just blocks away from where the grew up that would provide quality housing to people in their Bangladeshi community. They would smile while thinking about how far they have come from that young kid who used to be ashamed of their culture. 

Essay Example #3: Why Medicine

I took my first trip to China to visit my cousin Anna in July of 2014. Distance had kept us apart, but when we were together, we fell into all of our old inside jokes and caught up on each other’s lives. Her sparkling personality and optimistic attitude always brought a smile to my face. This time, however, my heart broke when I saw the effects of her brain cancer; she had suffered from a stroke that paralyzed her left side. She was still herself in many ways, but I could see that the damage to her brain made things difficult for her. I stayed by her every day, providing the support she needed, whether assisting her with eating and drinking, reading to her, or just watching “Friends.” During my flight back home, sorrow and helplessness overwhelmed me. Would I ever see Anna again? Could I have done more to make Anna comfortable? I wished I could stay in China longer to care for her. As I deplaned, I wondered if I could transform my grief to help other children and teenagers in the US who suffered as Anna did.

The day after I got home, as jet lag dragged me awake a few minutes after midnight, I remembered hearing about the Family Reach Foundation (FRF) and its work with children going through treatments at the local hospital and their families. I began volunteering in the FRF’s Children’s Activity Room, where I play with children battling cancer. Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up. When they take on the roles of firefighters or fairies, we all get caught up in the game; for that time, they forget the sanitized, stark, impersonal walls of the pediatric oncology ward. Building close relationships with them and seeing them giggle and laugh is so rewarding — I love watching them grow and get better throughout their course of treatment.

Hearing from the parents about their children’s condition and seeing the children recover inspired me to consider medical research. To get started, I enrolled in a summer collegelevel course in Abnormal Psychology. There I worked with Catelyn, a rising college senior, on a data analysis project regarding Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). Together, we examined the neurological etiology of DID by studying four fMRI and PET cases. I fell in love with gathering data and analyzing the results and was amazed by our final product: several stunning brain images showcasing the areas of hyper and hypoactivity in brains affected by DID. Desire quickly followed my amazement — I want to continue this project and study more brains. Their complexity, delicacy, and importance to every aspect of life fascinate me. Successfully completing this research project gave me a sense of hope; I know I am capable of participating in a large scale research project and potentially making a difference in someone else’s life through my research.

Anna’s diagnosis inspired me to begin volunteering at FRF; from there, I discovered my desire to help people further by contributing to medical research. As my research interest blossomed, I realized that it’s no coincidence that I want to study brains—after all, Anna suffered from brain cancer. Reflecting on these experiences this past year and a half, I see that everything I’ve done is connected. Sadly, a few months after I returned from China, Anna passed away. I am still sad, but as I run a toy truck across the floor and watch one of the little patients’ eyes light up, I imagine that she would be proud of my commitment to pursue medicine and study the brain.

This essay has a very strong emotional core that tugs at the heart strings and makes the reader feel invested. Writing about sickness can be difficult and doesn’t always belong in a personal statement, but in this case it works well because the focus is on how this student cared for her cousin and dealt with the grief and emotions surrounding her condition. Writing about the compassion she showed and the doubts and concerns that filled her mind keeps the focus on the author and her personality. 

This continues when she again discusses the activities she did with the kids at FRF and the personal reflection this experience allowed her to have. For example, she writes: Volunteering has both made me appreciate my own health and also cherish the new relationships I build with the children and families. We play sports, make figures out of playdoh, and dress up.

Concluding the essay with the sad story of her cousin’s passing brings the essay full circle and returns to the emotional heart of the piece to once again build a connection with the reader. However, it finishes on a hopeful note and demonstrates how this student has been able to turn a tragic experience into a source of lifelong inspiration. 

One thing this essay should be cognizant of is that personal statements should not read as summaries of your extracurricular resume. Although this essay doesn’t fully fall into that trap, it does describe two key extracurriculars the student participated in. However, the inclusion of such a strong emotional core running throughout the essay helps keep the focus on the student and her thoughts and feelings during these activities.

To avoid making this mistake, make sure you have a common thread running through your essay and the extracurriculars provide support to the story you are trying to tell, rather than crafting a story around your activities. And, as this essay does, make sure there is lots of personal reflection and feelings weaved throughout to focus attention to you rather than your extracurriculars. 

Essay Example #4: Love of Writing

“I want to be a writer.” This had been my answer to every youthful discussion with the adults in my life about what I would do when I grew up. As early as elementary school, I remember reading my writing pieces aloud to an audience at “Author of the Month” ceremonies. Bearing this goal in mind, and hoping to gain some valuable experience, I signed up for a journalism class during my freshman year. Despite my love for writing, I initially found myself uninterested in the subject and I struggled to enjoy the class. When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines. Journalism required a laconic style and orderly structure, and I found my teacher’s assignments formulaic and dull. That class shook my confidence as a writer. I was uncertain if I should continue in it for the rest of my high school career.

Despite my misgivings, I decided that I couldn’t make a final decision on whether to quit journalism until I had some experience working for a paper outside of the classroom. The following year, I applied to be a staff reporter on our school newspaper. I hoped this would help me become more self-driven and creative, rather than merely writing articles that my teacher assigned. To my surprise, my time on staff was worlds away from what I experienced in the journalism class. Although I was unaccustomed to working in a fast-paced environment and initially found it burdensome to research and complete high-quality stories in a relatively short amount of time, I also found it exciting. I enjoyed learning more about topics and events on campus that I did not know much about; some of my stories that I covered in my first semester concerned a chess tournament, a food drive, and a Spanish immersion party. I relished in the freedom I had to explore and learn, and to write more independently than I could in a classroom.

Although I enjoyed many aspects of working for the paper immediately, reporting also pushed me outside of my comfort zone. I am a shy person, and speaking with people I did not know intimidated me. During my first interview, I met with the basketball coach to prepare for a story about the team’s winning streak. As I approached his office, I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block, and I could hardly get out my opening questions. Fortunately, the coach was very kind and helped me through the conversation. Encouraged, I prepared for my next interview with more confidence. After a few weeks of practice, I even started to look forward to interviewing people on campus. That first journalism class may have bored me, but even if journalism in practice was challenging, it was anything but tedious.

Over the course of that year, I grew to love writing for our school newspaper. Reporting made me aware of my surroundings, and made me want to know more about current events on campus and in the town where I grew up. By interacting with people all over campus, I came to understand the breadth of individuals and communities that make up my high school. I felt far more connected to diverse parts of my school through my work as a journalist, and I realized that journalism gave me a window into seeing beyond my own experiences. The style of news writing may be different from what I used to think “writing” meant, but I learned that I can still derive exciting plots from events that may have gone unnoticed if not for my stories. I no longer struggle to approach others, and truly enjoy getting to know people and recognizing their accomplishments through my writing. Becoming a writer may be a difficult path, but it is as rewarding as I hoped when I was young.

This essay is clearly structured in a manner that makes it flow very nicely and contributes to its success. It starts with a quote to draw in the reader and show this student’s life-long passion for writing. Then it addresses the challenges of facing new, unfamiliar territory and how this student overcame it. Finally, it concludes by reflecting on this eye-opening experience and a nod to their younger self from the introduction. Having a well-thought out and sequential structure with clear transitions makes it extremely easy for the reader to follow along and take away the main idea.

Another positive aspect of the essay is the use of strong and expressive language. Sentences like “ When I thought of writing, I imagined lyrical prose, profound poetry, and thrilling plot lines ” stand out because of the intentional use of words like “lyrical”, “profound”, and “thrilling” to convey the student’s love of writing. The author also uses an active voice to capture the readers’ attention and keep us engaged. They rely on their language and diction to reveal details to the reader, for instance saying “ I felt everything from my toes to my tongue freeze into a solid block ” to describe feeling nervous.

This essay is already very strong, so there isn’t much that needs to be changed. One thing that could take the essay from great to outstanding would be to throw in more quotes, internal dialogue, and sensory descriptors.

It would be nice to see the nerves they felt interviewing the coach by including dialogue like “ Um…I want to interview you about…uh…”.  They could have shown their original distaste for journalism by narrating the thoughts running through their head. The fast-paced environment of their newspaper could have come to life with descriptions about the clacking of keyboards and the whirl of people running around laying out articles.

Essay Example #5: Starting a Fire

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

This student is an excellent writer, which allows a simple story to be outstandingly compelling. The author articulates her points beautifully and creatively through her immense use of details and figurative language. Lines like “a rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees,” and “rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers,” create vivid images that draw the reader in. 

The flowery and descriptive prose also contributes to the nice juxtaposition between the old Clara and the new Clara. The latter half of the essay contrasts elements of nature with music and writing to demonstrate how natural these interests are for her now. This sentence perfectly encapsulates the contrast she is trying to build: “It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive.”

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

There is very little this essay should change, however one thing to be cautious about is having an essay that is overly-descriptive. We know from the essay that this student likes to read and write, and depending on other elements of her application, it might make total sense to have such a flowery and ornate writing style. However, your personal statement needs to reflect your voice as well as your personality. If you would never use language like this in conversation or your writing, don’t put it in your personal statement. Make sure there is a balance between eloquence and your personal voice.

Essay Example #6: Dedicating a Track

“Getting beat is one thing – it’s part of competing – but I want no part in losing.” Coach Rob Stark’s motto never fails to remind me of his encouragement on early-morning bus rides to track meets around the state. I’ve always appreciated the phrase, but an experience last June helped me understand its more profound, universal meaning.

Stark, as we affectionately call him, has coached track at my high school for 25 years. His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running. When I learned a neighboring high school had dedicated their track to a longtime coach, I felt that Stark deserved similar honors.

Our school district’s board of education indicated they would only dedicate our track to Stark if I could demonstrate that he was extraordinary. I took charge and mobilized my teammates to distribute petitions, reach out to alumni, and compile statistics on the many team and individual champions Stark had coached over the years. We received astounding support, collecting almost 3,000 signatures and pages of endorsements from across the community. With help from my teammates, I presented this evidence to the board.

They didn’t bite. 

Most members argued that dedicating the track was a low priority. Knowing that we had to act quickly to convince them of its importance, I called a team meeting where we drafted a rebuttal for the next board meeting. To my surprise, they chose me to deliver it. I was far from the best public speaker in the group, and I felt nervous about going before the unsympathetic board again. However, at that second meeting, I discovered that I enjoy articulating and arguing for something that I’m passionate about.

Public speaking resembles a cross country race. Walking to the starting line, you have to trust your training and quell your last minute doubts. When the gun fires, you can’t think too hard about anything; your performance has to be instinctual, natural, even relaxed. At the next board meeting, the podium was my starting line. As I walked up to it, familiar butterflies fluttered in my stomach. Instead of the track stretching out in front of me, I faced the vast audience of teachers, board members, and my teammates. I felt my adrenaline build, and reassured myself: I’ve put in the work, my argument is powerful and sound. As the board president told me to introduce myself, I heard, “runners set” in the back of my mind. She finished speaking, and Bang! The brief silence was the gunshot for me to begin. 

The next few minutes blurred together, but when the dust settled, I knew from the board members’ expressions and the audience’s thunderous approval that I had run quite a race. Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough; the board voted down our proposal. I was disappointed, but proud of myself, my team, and our collaboration off the track. We stood up for a cause we believed in, and I overcame my worries about being a leader. Although I discovered that changing the status quo through an elected body can be a painstakingly difficult process and requires perseverance, I learned that I enjoy the challenges this effort offers. Last month, one of the school board members joked that I had become a “regular” – I now often show up to meetings to advocate for a variety of causes, including better environmental practices in cafeterias and safer equipment for athletes.

Just as Stark taught me, I worked passionately to achieve my goal. I may have been beaten when I appealed to the board, but I certainly didn’t lose, and that would have made Stark proud.

This essay effectively conveys this student’s compassion for others, initiative, and determination—all great qualities to exemplify in a personal statement!

Although they rely on telling us a lot of what happened up until the board meeting, the use of running a race (their passion) as a metaphor for public speaking provides a lot of insight into the fear that this student overcame to work towards something bigger than themself. Comparing a podium to the starting line, the audience to the track, and silence to the gunshot is a nice way of demonstrating this student’s passion for cross country running without making that the focus of the story.

The essay does a nice job of coming full circle at the end by explaining what the quote from the beginning meant to them after this experience. Without explicitly saying “ I now know that what Stark actually meant is…” they rely on the strength of their argument above to make it obvious to the reader what it means to get beat but not lose. 

One of the biggest areas of improvement in the intro, however, is how the essay tells us Stark’s impact rather than showing us: His care, dedication, and emphasis on developing good character has left an enduring impact on me and hundreds of other students. Not only did he help me discover my talent and love for running, but he also taught me the importance of commitment and discipline and to approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

The writer could’ve helped us feel a stronger emotional connection to Stark if they had included examples of Stark’s qualities, rather than explicitly stating them. For example, they could’ve written something like: Stark was the kind of person who would give you gas money if you told him your parents couldn’t afford to pick you up from practice. And he actually did that—several times. At track meets, alumni regularly would come talk to him and tell him how he’d changed their lives. Before Stark, I was ambivalent about running and was on the JV team, but his encouragement motivated me to run longer and harder and eventually make varsity. Because of him, I approach every endeavor with the passion and intensity that I bring to running.

Essay Example #7: Body Image and Eating Disorders

I press the “discover” button on my Instagram app, hoping to find enticing pictures to satisfy my boredom. Scrolling through, I see funny videos and mouth-watering pictures of food. However, one image stops me immediately. A fit teenage girl with a “perfect body” relaxes in a bikini on a beach. Beneath it, I see a slew of flattering comments. I shake with disapproval over the image’s unrealistic quality. However, part of me still wants to have a body like hers so that others will make similar comments to me.

I would like to resolve a silent issue that harms many teenagers and adults: negative self image and low self-esteem in a world where social media shapes how people view each other. When people see the façades others wear to create an “ideal” image, they can develop poor thought patterns rooted in negative self-talk. The constant comparisons to “perfect” others make people feel small. In this new digital age, it is hard to distinguish authentic from artificial representations.

When I was 11, I developed anorexia nervosa. Though I was already thin, I wanted to be skinny like the models that I saw on the magazine covers on the grocery store stands. Little did I know that those models probably also suffered from disorders, and that photoshop erased their flaws. I preferred being underweight to being healthy. No matter how little I ate or how thin I was, I always thought that I was too fat. I became obsessed with the number on the scale and would try to eat the least that I could without my parents urging me to take more. Fortunately, I stopped engaging in anorexic behaviors before middle school. However, my underlying mental habits did not change. The images that had provoked my disorder in the first place were still a constant presence in my life.

By age 15, I was in recovery from anorexia, but suffered from depression. While I used to only compare myself to models, the growth of social media meant I also compared myself to my friends and acquaintances. I felt left out when I saw my friends’ excitement about lake trips they had taken without me. As I scrolled past endless photos of my flawless, thin classmates with hundreds of likes and affirming comments, I felt my jealousy spiral. I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.” When that didn’t work, I started to feel too anxious to post anything at all.  

Body image insecurities and social media comparisons affect thousands of people – men, women, children, and adults – every day. I am lucky – after a few months of my destructive social media habits, I came across a video that pointed out the illusory nature of social media; many Instagram posts only show off good things while people hide their flaws. I began going to therapy, and recovered from my depression. To address the problem of self-image and social media, we can all focus on what matters on the inside and not what is on the surface. As an effort to become healthy internally, I started a club at my school to promote clean eating and radiating beauty from within. It has helped me grow in my confidence, and today I’m not afraid to show others my struggles by sharing my experience with eating disorders. Someday, I hope to make this club a national organization to help teenagers and adults across the country. I support the idea of body positivity and embracing difference, not “perfection.” After all, how can we be ourselves if we all look the same?

This essay covers the difficult topics of eating disorders and mental health. If you’re thinking about covering similar topics in your essay, we recommend reading our post Should You Talk About Mental Health in College Essays?

The short answer is that, yes, you can talk about mental health, but it can be risky. If you do go that route, it’s important to focus on what you learned from the experience.

The strength of this essay is the student’s vulnerability, in excerpts such as this: I wanted to be admired and loved by other people too. However, I felt that I could never be enough. I began to hate the way that I looked, and felt nothing in my life was good enough. I wanted to be called “perfect” and “body goals,” so I tried to only post at certain times of day to maximize my “likes.”

The student goes on to share how they recovered from their depression through an eye-opening video and therapy sessions, and they’re now helping others find their self-worth as well. It’s great that this essay looks towards the future and shares the writer’s goals of making their club a national organization; we can see their ambition and compassion.

The main weakness of this essay is that it doesn’t focus enough on their recovery process, which is arguably the most important part. They could’ve told us more about the video they watched or the process of starting their club and the interactions they’ve had with other members. Especially when sharing such a vulnerable topic, there should be vulnerability in the recovery process too. That way, the reader can fully appreciate all that this student has overcome.

Essay Example #8: Becoming a Coach

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay begins with an in-the-moment narrative that really illustrates the chaos of looking for a coach last-minute. We feel the writer’s emotions, particularly her dejectedness, at not being able to compete. Starting an essay in media res  is a great way to capture the attention of your readers and build anticipation for what comes next.

Through this essay, we can see how gutsy and determined the student is in deciding to become a coach themselves. She shows us these characteristics through their actions, rather than explicitly telling us: To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side.  Also, by discussing the opposition she faced and how it affected her, the student is open and vulnerable about the reality of the situation.

The essay comes full circle as the author recalls the frantic situations in seeking out a coach, but this is no longer a concern for them and their team. Overall, this essay is extremely effective in painting this student as mature, bold, and compassionate.

The biggest thing this essay needs to work on is showing not telling. Throughout the essay, the student tells us that she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence,” she “grew unsure of her own abilities,” and she “refused to give up”. What we really want to know is what this looks like.

Instead of saying she “emerged with new knowledge and confidence” she should have shared how she taught a new move to a fellow team-member without hesitation. Rather than telling us she “grew unsure of her own abilities” she should have shown what that looked like by including her internal dialogue and rhetorical questions that ran through her mind. She could have demonstrated what “refusing to give up” looks like by explaining how she kept learning coaching techniques on her own, turned to a mentor for advice, or devised a plan to win over the trust of parents. 

Essay Example #9: Eritrea

No one knows where Eritrea is.

On the first day of school, for the past nine years, I would pensively stand in front of a class, a teacher, a stranger  waiting for the inevitable question: Where are you from?

I smile politely, my dimples accentuating my ambiguous features. “Eritrea,” I answer promptly and proudly. But I  am always prepared. Before their expression can deepen into confusion, ready to ask “where is that,” I elaborate,  perhaps with a fleeting hint of exasperation, “East Africa, near Ethiopia.”

Sometimes, I single out the key-shaped hermit nation on a map, stunning teachers who have “never had a student  from there!” Grinning, I resist the urge to remark, “You didn’t even know it existed until two minutes ago!”

Eritrea is to the East of Ethiopia, its arid coastline clutches the lucrative Red Sea. Battle scars litter the ancient  streets – the colonial Italian architecture lathered with bullet holes, the mosques mangled with mortar shells.  Originally part of the world’s first Christian kingdom, Eritrea passed through the hands of colonial Italy, Britain, and  Ethiopia for over a century, until a bloody thirty year war of Independence liberated us.

But these are facts that anyone can know with a quick Google search. These are facts that I have memorised and compounded, first from my Grandmother and now from pristine books  borrowed from the library.

No historical narrative, however, can adequately capture what Eritrea is.  No one knows the aroma of bushels of potatoes, tomatoes, and garlic – still covered in dirt – that leads you to the open-air market. No one knows the poignant scent of spices, arranged in orange piles reminiscent of compacted  dunes.  No one knows how to haggle stubborn herders for sheep and roosters for Christmas celebrations as deliberately as my mother. No one can replicate the perfect balance of spices in dorho and tsebhi as well as my grandmother,  her gnarly hands stirring the pot with ancient precision (chastising my clumsy knife work with the potatoes).  It’s impossible to learn when the injera is ready – the exact moment you have to lift the lid of the mogogo. Do it too  early (or too late) and the flatbread becomes mangled and gross. It is a sixth sense passed through matriarchal  lineages.

There are no sources that catalogue the scent of incense that wafts through the sunlit porch on St. Michael’s; no  films that can capture the luminescence of hundreds of flaming bonfires that fluoresce the sidewalks on Kudus  Yohannes, as excited children chant Ge’ez proverbs whose origin has been lost to time.  You cannot learn the familiarity of walking beneath the towering Gothic figure of the Enda Mariam Cathedral, the  crowds undulating to the ringing of the archaic bells.  I have memorized the sound of the rains hounding the metal roof during kiremti , the heat of the sun pounding  against the Toyota’s window as we sped down towards Ghinda , the opulent brilliance of the stars twinkling in a  sky untainted by light pollution, the scent of warm rolls of bani wafting through the streets at precisely 6 o’clock each day…

I fill my flimsy sketchbook with pictures from my memory. My hand remembers the shapes of the hibiscus drifting  in the wind, the outline of my grandmother (affectionately nicknamed a’abaye ) leaning over the garden, the bizarre architecture of the Fiat Tagliero .  I dice the vegetables with movements handed down from generations. My nose remembers the scent of frying garlic, the sourness of the warm tayta , the sharpness of the mit’mt’a …

This knowledge is intrinsic.  “I am Eritrean,” I repeat. “I am proud.”  Within me is an encyclopedia of history, culture, and idealism.

Eritrea is the coffee made from scratch, the spices drying in the sun, the priests and nuns. Eritrea is wise, filled with ambition, and unseen potential.  Eritrea isn’t a place, it’s an identity.

This is an exceptional essay that provides a window into this student’s culture that really makes their love for their country and heritage leap off the page. The sheer level of details and sensory descriptors this student is able to fit in this space makes the essay stand out. From the smells, to the traditions, sounds, and sights, the author encapsulates all the glory of Eritrea for the reader. 

The vivid images this student is able to create for the reader, whether it is having the tedious conversation with every teacher or cooking in their grandmother’s kitchen, transports us into the story and makes us feel like we are there in the moment with the student. This is a prime example of an essay that shows , not tells.

Besides the amazing imagery, the use of shorter paragraphs also contributes to how engaging this essay is. Employing this tactic helps break up the text to make it more readable and it isolates ideas so they stick out more than if they were enveloped in a large paragraph.

Overall, this is a really strong essay that brings to life this student’s heritage through its use of vivid imagery. This essay exemplifies what it means to show not tell in your writing, and it is a great example of how you can write an intimate personal statement without making yourself the primary focus of your essay. 

There is very little this essay should improve upon, but one thing the student might consider would be to inject more personal reflection into their response. Although we can clearly take away their deep love and passion for their homeland and culture, the essay would be a bit more personal if they included the emotions and feelings they associate with the various aspects of Eritrea. For example, the way their heart swells with pride when their grandmother praises their ability to cook a flatbread or the feeling of serenity when they hear the bells ring out from the cathedral. Including personal details as well as sensory ones would create a wonderful balance of imagery and reflection.

Essay Example #10: Journaling

Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.

I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.

“I want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in it” – October 2008

Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt “My Hopes and Dreams” captures my attention. Though “machine” is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.

“I wish I had infinite sunsets” – July 2019

I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.

With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.

“The beauty in a tower of cans” – June 2020

Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.

With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.

I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, “And so begins the next chapter…”

The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journals—and unique formatting of the quotes—to signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.

Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.

At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!

Although this essay is already exceptionally strong as it’s written, the first journal entry feels out of place compared to the other two entries that discuss the author’s shyness and determination. It works well for the essay to have an entry from when the student was younger to add some humor (with misspelled words) and nostalgia, but if the student had either connected the quote they chose to the idea of overcoming a fear present in the other two anecdotes or if they had picked a different quote all together related to their shyness, it would have made the entire essay feel more cohesive.

Where to Get Your Personal Statement Edited

Do you want feedback on your personal statement? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

Next Step: Supplemental Essays

Essay Guides for Each School

How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity College Essay

4 Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay

How to Write the “Why This College” Essay

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• Residency Application

Residency Personal Statement Examples from Matched Residents

Use these residency personal statement examples as a reference as you are working on  preparing you residency applications . The following are printed with permission from our own past successful students who worked with us as part of our  application review  programs. If you are having trouble getting started, you are not alone. Many students find that the personal statement can be one of the most challenging components of the  ERAS  or  CaRMS  residency applications. However, your personal statement can make or break your application. Get started on the right track by following the guidelines outlined for you below reviewing the emergency medicine residency personal statement example , pediatrics personal statement example , cardiology personal statement example, and more..  

This blog will outline what types of things to include in your residency personal statement. It will also give you 10 examples of personal statements from 10 different specialties written by actual students who matched into those fields. Reviewing personal statement examples is also good essay writing practice if you decide to write a residency letter of intent . Many of the same principles you apply to the personal statement can be applied to other application materials as well, so consider this review comprehensive. Believe it or not, personal statements also entail a great deal of self-reflection, which means they also function as a great review for residency interview questions , like the “tell me about yourself” residency interview question .

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Residency personal statement example #1: family medicine.

During the pre-clerkship years of study in medical school, I enjoyed learning about the many specialties within medicine and actively considered pursuing several of them. I was drawn to the complex pharmacology of the drugs used by anesthesiologists, the acuity of care faced by emergency medicine physicians and the complicated medical issues of patients cared for by internal medicine specialists. I also found myself interested in psychiatrists’ thorough history-taking and the technical skills in performing procedures exhibited by surgeons. It started becoming clear to me that I was interested in many different areas of medicine. I began realizing that I wanted a career that combined the many things I enjoyed in different specialties. A family physician has the flexibility to practice all of these facets of medicine. As clerkship drew nearer, I knew I wanted to gain more clinical experience in family medicine to see if it would be a good fit for me.

My clinical experiences in family medicine were fantastic. I worked with family physicians and family medicine residents not only during my core family medicine rotation and family medicine electives, but also during my psychiatry, surgery, anesthesiology, and pediatrics rotations. These clinical experiences confirmed my belief that family medicine is a diverse and exciting specialty; family physicians, while maintaining a broad base of medical knowledge, can tailor their practices to the needs of their communities and to their own interests and areas of expertise. During my family medicine rotation and electives, I also found myself greatly enjoying my encounters with patients. I enjoy hearing patients’ stories and sorting through their many medical and psychosocial issues. I am also naturally a fastidious person. Being a thorough history-taker and a meticulous recorder of details helps me in formulating a complete story about a patient. My joy in interacting with patients and my attention to detail allow me to appreciate patients as people, not just as disorders or diseases. I am both interested in learning about and have a certain affinity for, family medicine clinical experiences; pursuing a career in this specialty is an obvious choice for me.

The versatility and diversity of family practice initially drew my interest but the wonderful encounters I had with family physicians solidified my desire to pursue a career in this specialty. These family physicians have not only been skilled and knowledgeable clinicians but also, variously, dedicated teachers, researchers, and administrators. They were committed to improving their clinical skills by attending continuing education lectures and courses. They practiced patient-centered care and were knowledgeable about community resources that may help their patients. They worked cooperatively with other health-care professionals to improve patient care. Importantly, these physicians have also been friendly and approachable towards both learners and patients. The family physicians I have worked with also strive toward a healthy work-life balance; all of them seemed to have many interests and hobbies outside of their professions. These clinicians demonstrated to me what being a family physician involves: practicing both the science and art of medicine, advocating for patients, guiding patients through the health-care system, being committed to improving clinical knowledge and, importantly, maintaining one’s own health and happiness.

Being sure of the specialty I want to pursue is the first step in my career. There are many learning opportunities ahead. [Name of the program]’s family medicine residency program is attractive in so many ways: the protected academic days, the opportunity to participate in research and, most importantly, the clinical curriculum, all appeal to me. I believe the solid foundation of family medicine experience, as well as the exposure to other specialties, alongside the opportunities to build the skills necessary for life-long learning through the academic experiences and research, make this an ideal program for me. On a personal note, I grew up in [hometown] and did my undergraduate studies at [name of university]; I would be thrilled to return to my hometown and a university already familiar to me. My career goals after finishing my residency include having a community-based, urban family practice and being actively involved in teaching residents and medical students. I am also open to being involved in research and administration. Career goals, however, may change as I progress through my training. I am excited to begin the next stage of medical training and begin my residency in family medicine!

1. Emphasis on why the applicant wants to enter that specific specialty

This family medicine personal statement example does a great job of explaining why the applicant wants to enter that specific specialty. Their interest is clearly stated and the decision to enter the field is well explained. The author does an excellent job of talking up the specialty and stating what they like about the field based on their clinical experience. For your residency personal statement, you want to highlight any influential moment you had during these experiences. If you had a certain “aha” moment, you might mention this. If demonstrating this commitment is difficult for you, you can always find a reputable ERAS application review service .

2. Intentions are clear

Clearly stating your intentions and using the program's name makes your statement personal and stand out. It shows that you pay attention to details and that your goals and passion align with what the program offers. Use strong, precise language when you are writing. You only have about 800 words, so state your intentions and keep your story clear.

3. Personal connection is established

This particular applicant has a personal connection to the city in which the residency would take place. This won’t be true for every applicant, but if it is, be sure to make room to mention it as long as it fits with your personal narrative. In this example, the applicant also ties this in with one of their goals: having a community-based, urban family practice. In your personal statement, you should merge these elements together for a more cohesive essay.

What to Include in Your Personal Statement

Most residency programs, whether through  ERAS  (US-based) or  CaRMS  (Canada-based) require applicants to submit a personal statement or letter. Some programs will include specific instructions for what they wish you to talk about, while others will not give you a topic. When you’re doing your research for residency programs you want to apply for, you should also take a look at the selection criteria. Each school will have its own rubric that they use to evaluate candidates, so it’s a good idea to review these before you start working on your personal statement. Here is an example of some information stated by McMaster University regarding their residency selection criteria:

“Programs may consider a range of criteria in making their selection decisions for interviews including but not limited to: Medical School Performance Report (MSPR), scores on standardized tests, interest in and aptitude for the discipline, reference letter, experience in research or other scholarly activities, extracurricular activities, and personal qualities.”

ERAS, as well as most CaRMS programs, ask that your statement be within a one-page limit, about 750-850 words. Please check the specific program requirements through the ERAS or CaRMS websites.

The experiences in your  residency CV  can be used to help you indicate why you are applying to a particular program and how you came to that decision.

1. Introduction

Typically, your residency personal statement will have three to five paragraphs, which you will use to divide the introduction, body, and conclusion. The personal statement is a formal essay, so you must adhere to the proper structure. The introduction is for you to capture the attention of the reader; for this, you will need a strong hook or opening statement. Feel free to get creative with this. The remainder of your introduction should focus on what drew you to the specialty and how your background experiences informed your decision to apply to the school and program. Your introduction should also contain a thesis statement that allows you to connect your personal background with your suitability for the program, school, and a career in medicine (in this exact specialty).

2. Body (or middle)

The body of the essay is for you to expand on a few critical experiences that made you the excellent, qualified candidate you are today. A good strategy for the body paragraph(s) is to talk about relevant clinical rotation experiences; so for example, if you’re applying to a psychiatry residency, you can talk about a specific patient experience that solidified your decision to pursue this specialty, or an experience that sticks out in your memory. This will be similar to your answer to the interesting case residency interview question . Your goal should be to use these experiences to address your specific interests, goals, and what makes you a good fit for the program. Do some research into the program format, the patient population you will be working with, and the clinical environment. This will help you connect your experiences with what the school/program offers.

3. Conclusion

You might be thinking that once you’ve written a strong introduction and body, the conclusion will be simple. However, this isn’t necessarily the case. You need to use the space in your conclusion to tie everything together and show enthusiasm for the program and for your future career. You can revisit a few key points here to highlight them once again and to relate them to what you’re hoping to gain from the forthcoming training experience. Show passion, determination, and consistency throughout your letter and tie up any loose ends in the conclusion. Some applicants will use this part of the letter to mention a specific goal they want to achieve in residency, such as working with specific faculty members or research plans. You may also mention aspirations to complete a fellowship or what you want your future practice to look like.

Here's why "show, don't tell" is the most important tip for any personal statement:

Questions to Ask Yourself to Help You Brainstorm Ideas

• What makes you right for this specialty?
• What experiences drew you to this specialty?
• What appeals to you about this specific program?
• Do you have any experiences working in the city of the program you’re applying to?
• How will your residency training help you achieve your goals?
• What are some of your personal strengths that will allow you to contribute to the program?
• What evidence do you have that you possess those strengths?
• Do you have any research/publications that align with the research the school is doing?
• Do you have any gaps in your medical education or evaluations that you would like to address?
• What’s something you think the program director should know that isn’t obvious from your application materials?

  Growing up the first-born daughter of a hard-working Saskatchewan cattle farmer and hairdresser, medicine was never a consideration. In a small town, I could easily see how too much free time got many of my peers in trouble. From grade 8-12 I devoted myself to sports, playing high school, club and provincial beach volleyball, weeknights and weekends year round. Despite my small stature and lack of innate abilities, with determination and persistence, I overcame these obstacles. At the end of my grade 11 year, I received an athletic scholarship and chose to pursue business administration and athletics.

After the first six months, it became apparent that I was not going to attain my full potential in education at [university name}. Despite my parent’s reservations, I left and enrolled at a [university name] for the next semester. This university was much more challenging as I was now balancing my educational and financial responsibilities by working evenings and weekends managing a number of part-time jobs. With little direction as to what degree I wanted to pursue, I happened to enroll in anatomy and physiology. This was the first time I became really excited about my future prospects and began actively considering a career in medicine.

The first time I applied to medicine, I was rejected. Despite my initial devastation, in hindsight, it was a great opportunity for myself to reflect on my own motivations for medicine and work as a laboratory technician at a potash mine in my hometown. I gained additional life experience, spent time with my family and was able to help financially support my husband’s pursuit of education after he had so selflessly supported me for many years.

My first exposure to anesthesia was in my first year of medical school with [Dr. name here] as my mentor in clinical reasoning. I was again, intrigued by the anatomy and physiology with the interlacing of pharmacology. I remained open to all specialties, however, after summer early exposures, research, and clerkship it became clear to me that anesthesia is where I felt the most fulfilled and motivated.

In a way, anesthesia was reminiscent of the competitive volleyball I had played years prior. I was again a part of a team in the operating room with a common goal. Similarly, our countless years of education and practice had brought us together to achieve it. In volleyball, my role was the setter, which to many is considered a lackluster position as we rarely attack the ball and score points with power. However, as a setter, my role is to set the pace, strategize and dictate the game from my team’s perspective. There is a long sequence of crucial events before a “kill” in volleyball and I strategized my teammate's individual strengths in both offense and defense to win. Anesthesia gives me the same opportunities to strategize anesthetics, balance individual patient’s comorbidities and anatomy all while maintaining a calm demeanor and level head through unexpected circumstances. In volleyball, I never shied away from tense games or difficult situations, instead I trusted in my own abilities and training despite uncharted territory. Lastly, I didn't need to actually score the point in order to understand my role and contributions to my team.

As an athlete, I understand the importance of practice and repetition which allow us to fail, but most importantly, to learn. I believe that the curriculum at this program will provide me with a well-respected education, which strongly reflects my learning style. I also admire the mandatory communication block in the curriculum because I believe an emphasis on clear and concise communication, is essential as an anesthetist.

Throughout the course of the next 5-10 years, I anticipate that both my husband and I will complete the next chapter in our educational pursuits. We both agree that [program name here] has the potential to nurture the next chapter in both our private and professional lives if given the opportunity.

What Makes This Sample Effective?

1. the theme is personal and consistent.

In this anesthesiology residency personal statement example , the author of this passage carries the theme of athletics throughout the statement. Having a theme can unify your personal statement and give it direction. This is a good example of a way to use a theme to tie together different ideas. Having a good theme is also something you should keep in mind when you’re answering anesthesiology residency interview questions , as program directors want to see that this particular specialty choice wasn’t simply drawn out of a hat; rather, your emphasis on a theme can demonstrate that your choice was intentional and the right fit.

2. The tone is positive throughout

Also, take note of how the author explained the transition to different schools without speaking negatively of the institutions. In your own personal statement, feel free to use the names of the universities you attended. They have been redacted here for anonymity. This statement has parts where you could customize it. Use the name of the program when possible or the name of the town. Taking time to add this into your statement shows the program that you pay attention to detail while personalizing it to each program.

3. Lessons learned apply to medicine

The writer of this personal statement relies on analogy to connect their experience to their interest in anesthesiology: “I understand the importance of practice and repetition which allow us to fail, but most importantly, to learn.” This analogy works so well because it shows why the applicant is suited to the program and specialty, it reveals an important aspect of their personality with evidence, and it sets expectations for how they want to contribute to the field. In your essay, you can use a similar strategy by tying together a major life theme or event with what you learned and how that applies to your medical training.

I was six years old when my father read to me the first chapter of “How Things Work.” The first chapter covered doors and specifically, the mechanics in a doorknob. What lay hidden and confined in the door panel was this complex system that produced a simple action. I credit this experience as the onset of my scientific curiosity and eventually my passion for complex systems found in medicine. Intensivists vigilantly maintain homeostasis within the human body, a complex system in and of itself, a concept I recognize as personally fascinating and enticing. I find myself especially drawn to the field of critical care and intensive care medicine. My dreams to become an intensivist would be highly complimented by a residency in surgery.

In critical care, each patient in the ICU is usually in a general state of shock. From the initial state of shock, the patient can be further complicated with comorbidities and chronic diseases that may require further intensive medical intervention so that they may recover from a recent surgery or traumatic event. This dynamic nature of the ICU is not available in every unit of the hospital and the high level of acuity does not suit everyone. I, however, enjoy the high energy of the enthralling, engaging and exciting environment offered by the ICU. I am personally energized and awakened by managing patients with surgically-altered physiology coupled with comorbidities. There is an overwhelming satisfaction when a patient following a bilateral lung transplant gets up from his bed and walks through the unit after days of being bedridden, or the moment we can discontinue the lines we had the patient on and finally talk to them after two weeks of intubation and sedation. Being in the ICU also encompasses the emotional seesaw of going from a successful patient case to a room in which a family has just decided that comfort care is the best way to proceed, which gives me chills just to type and verbalize.

The work of an intensivist is not only limited to the patient, but also the emotional well-being of the patient’s family as well. My involvement in the ICU has taught me that sometimes it is necessary to talk to a patient’s family, to explain to them simply that the postoperative expectations that they had had, may not be met. Communication is key in this field, both with the patients and the physicians of the OR. Communication prevents perioperative complications, establishes a willingness to follow directions and relays professionalism. It is important for an intensivist to have an excellent understanding of surgical procedures, so that they may explain to the patient what to expect as well as ease the nerves of the patient preoperatively. A surgical residency would facilitate this understanding and undoubtedly prove to be useful in my future training.

Studying medicine in Europe has taught me volumes about myself, how driven, motivated and open-minded I can be. To move so far away from home and yet be so familiar with the language, I feel blessed to be able to say that I’ve had a high level of exposure to diversity in my life. The mentality in [insert country name here] is if you don’t see the doctor, you are not sick. This common thought has to lead to an outstanding environment to study medicine and to see end-stage, textbook presentations of various pathologies and their management. Studying medicine in two languages has in itself taught me that medicine is a language and that the way a patient presents, conveys themselves, and the findings of the physical examination, all represent the syntax of the diagnosis. This awareness has reminded me that patient care, relief of patient suffering and illness, transcends the grammatical rules of the patient’s native tongue. My clinical experience in [insert country here] will aid me in providing thoughtful care to my future patients.

All things considered, I am ready to leave my home of the last four years and come back to the United States, to enter the next stage of my life and career. I am ready to work harder than ever, to prove myself to my future residency program and most importantly, learn so that I may be a suitable candidate for a future fellowship program in critical care. My experiences abroad have constantly pushed me to new horizons and encouraged responsibilities that I don’t believe I would otherwise have. I’ve developed a new level of human connection through my work in the ICU, the OR and my travels throughout Europe. These experiences will aid me in working with a diverse patient population and a diverse team of physicians. I hope [the program name here] can give me the variety and the background in surgery that I will need to succeed.

1. Atypical experiences are justified

This surgery personal statement example has to do double duty for the admissions committee. It has to explain why surgery, what this student can offer, and why this student is passionate about the field while simultaneously explaining why the applicant chose medical school abroad. If you are applying to a country where you did not attend medical school there, you have to explain why you studied abroad. This often poses a challenge for students. Be honest and positive about your experience. This student did an excellent job of explaining why it was such a good fit for their personality while highlighting the advantages of this experience.

Focus on the characteristics you gained from your experience abroad. Explain how your experience will translate into success in your residency. There are many things to be gained from having spent time outside of your home country. Talk about the skills you developed from living abroad. Unique details like those will set you apart when you are writing your statement.

2. Makes unique experiences an advantage

This applicant studied abroad in Europe. The way they talk about it is key: they explain how the experience was a challenge that they learned from. Most programs and schools are looking for medical school graduates who can contribute to their vision of diversity. If you have experience travelling abroad, this is a good chance for you to explain how this enriched your perspective and professional capabilities. Some of the skills that this applicant discusses are assets for a career in medicine: speaking two languages, exposure to diverse people and methods, and the ability to work with a large patient and physician population from different backgrounds. If you endeavor to explain some of your diverse experiences, be sure to make it clear what you gained and how you can apply it to your residency training.

3. The writer’s voice and style are unique

To get matched to the program and school of your choice, you will need to stand out from the crowd. To do this effectively in your personal statement, give your writing a unique style and allow your personality to shine through. In this example, the writer achieves this in the first paragraph in the “hook” in which they describe when their father used to read “How Things Work”; this life event left a lasting impression, and the writer links this to why a residency in surgery would benefit their goal of becoming an intensivist. With a first draft, it’s okay to experiment with word choice and content. Make sure you include all the necessary elements and formatting requirements, but try your best to put the “personal” in personal statement. Note that this is a general surgery example; if you were applying for plastic surgery or neurosurgery, you should read plastic surgery residency personal statement examples or neurosurgery personal statement examples for a slightly varied essay strategy.

Writing a residency personal statement? Here are the top books for residency applicants:

Residency Personal Statement Examples #4: Emergency Medicine

One of the most surprising things that I learned through my emergency medicine (EM) electives is that working in an emergency department is like leading a horse. I grew up on a farm in the [name of city], and working with animals was very much a part of my childhood. When walking a horse, one must be prepared for anything should the animal become spooked. It can startle at any moment and one must react quickly and calmly to redirect the thousand-pound creature. Similarly, in EM, one never knows when the department is going to become “spooked” by what comes through the door. EM is exciting, with a variety of patient presentations and medical procedures done on a daily basis. I enjoy dealing with the unexpected challenges that arise in caring for patients with backgrounds vastly different from my own. It would be a privilege to gain the skills as an emergency physician to provide acute life-saving care, to connect patients with resources and other healthcare professionals, and to provide comfort to patients and families in the settings of acute loss or difficult diagnoses. I feel that the [name of program] is the ideal path to reach that goal.

First, the [name of program] offers additional support and training to continue to perform research and other scholarly activities. Through my experience in quality improvement, I have learned of the value of research and how it can be applied to practical problems. For instance, while volunteering in a pool rehabilitation program for individuals with neurological disabilities, a patient who I had worked with for a year tragically suffered a fall and broke his hip leaving him significantly disabled. This led me to research inpatient falls during medical school and I initiated a quality improvement project and presented at several conferences, quality improvement rounds, and meetings with hospital stakeholders. After several years of work, I am very proud that this led to the implementation of a province-wide quality improvement initiative funded by [name of organization]. This initiative is physician-led and is aimed at reducing inpatient falls across [name of city]. This project demonstrated how rewarding research is when it can be translated into tangible initiatives and is why I am particularly interested in quality improvement research. I look forward to more dedicated time in the [name of program] to develop my research skills and to apply quality improvement to EM.

In addition to increased training in research, the [name of program] offers the opportunity to subspecialize within EM. While in medical school, I helped my single mother raise my much younger siblings and this has inspired my interest in pediatric EM. I maximized my studying through the effective use of weekly group study sessions and podcasts to allow for free weekends to return home to spend with my brother and sister. Through my experiences teaching and playing with my siblings, I have learned to deal with children in a calm and friendly manner. I used these skills to maintain positive therapeutic relationships with children during my pediatric EM rotation at [name of hospital]. For instance, I was able to cast the forearm of a frightened child by first demonstrating the procedure on her toy rabbit, and then calmly fitting a cast on her arm. I enjoy the emphasis on patient and family education as well as the focus on making the patient feel safe and cared for. I would love to explore this field further as my niche within the [name of program] in emergency medicine.

Alongside research and pediatric EM, I am also interested in teaching. Some of my fondest memories involve the evening teaching sessions during primary and secondary school spent with my grandpa, a retired teacher. My grandpa modeled effective teaching techniques, first assessing my knowledge and then expanding on it by asking questions and providing guidance when needed. Similarly, some of my best memories in medical school include the five-minute bedside teaching sessions after interesting cases that were taught in that way. Inspired by many residents and staff I have worked with, I look forward to expanding my teaching role in residency. Like my grandpa and my clinical mentors, I hope to help future students maximize their learning potential through the delivery of lectures and bedside teaching. Training within the [name of program] would allow additional time to develop the skills necessary for this, through increased exposure to mentorship, teaching role models, and opportunities to be involved in curricular development.

I would feel privileged to join the resident team in the [name of program]. I was fortunate that most of my core clerkship training including EM, as well as my fourth year EM elective, was at the [name of hospital]. What stands out the most to me most about working in the [name of hospital] is the tight-knit community feel in the setting of a high volume, high acuity ED. I value that the small program leads to a cohesive resident group and staff who are invested in their learners. Furthermore, from my rotations there, I know the ample procedural and hands-on exposure residents get from the beginning of their training. With my interest in pediatric EM, I value the longitudinal exposure to pediatrics at [name of program], with opportunities to do dedicated pediatric rotations both at [name of hospital], as well as [name of hospital]l. Finally, the [name of city] is my home; my family and friends are here, and I love the hiking, fishing, kayaking, and snowboarding that are all less than an hour away. I would be incredibly honored to have the privilege of pursuing EM in the [name of program], and look forward to serving my community.

Read some more Emergency Medicine Personal Statement Examples !

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The thought of caring for severely ill children seemed disheartening and overwhelming when I first began shadowing [name of doctor] at [name of hospital] five years ago. I was very nervous. While some of the cases were indeed difficult, my experience was starkly different. In one of our first cases, I quickly jumped in to comfort a scared child suffering from kidney disease. The mother of our patient confided in me about her son's struggles with bullying due to the disfiguring edema. I felt how much she appreciated being able to share her son’s challenges with me. Throughout my clinical experiences, I saw that caring for a pediatric patient often involves delicately navigating complex social situations and family dynamics. From that point on, I knew I had both the passion and compassion to succeed as a future pediatrician.

I am particularly keen to complete my residency at the [name of school], because I had such an immersive learning experience completing 5 years of research with [name of doctor] at [name of hospital] and at [name of hospital], not to mention [name of school]'s stellar international reputation. The incredibly high standard of excellence at [name of school], as well as [name of city] being my hometown, make the [name of school] my top choice to complete my residency. To further demonstrate the excellent education, I remember a time while shadowing at [name of hospital] in the genetics clinics where we discussed the pathophysiology of Bartter’s syndrome. The residents were having a hard time understanding this disease, but [name of doctor] explained the exact pathophysiology and downstream effects of it. The incredible intellect, mentorship and leadership [name of doctor] demonstrated has inspired me to pursue a nephrology fellowship upon completion of my residency.

During my elective rotations in [name of cities], I saw indigenous pediatric patients with a variety of ailments from hypoglycemia to cystic fibrosis. I spoke with them about the struggles of travelling long distances to obtain care. As an Inuit member of the [name of group], I have spent time reflecting on the medical needs of this much-overlooked population and hope to explore ways of reaching out to underserved populations in my future career.

I am prepared to be a leader and engaged learner in my residency program because of my participation in impactful leadership roles. I am currently the president of the [name of society], where one of my main duties is coordinating the [name of initiative], an initiative that teaches children about hospitals and healthy living. I was able to spend one-on-one time with disabled children teaching them about the heart through dance and instruments and activities to decrease fears associated with hospitals. This demonstrated the importance of promoting health care initiatives for kids and educate families and their children on how to be advocates of their own health.

As a competitive Irish dancer for sixteen years, I developed perseverance, determination, and time management that have been critical throughout my medical school training. Competing in front of judges and thousands of spectators all over the world, performing to my best ability under intense pressure was a necessity. I persevered with the challenge of competing at an international level and still maintained a very high level of academic performance while achieving my career high of second at the World Championships.

As an IMG applicant born and raised in [name of city] and educated in [name of country], I believe that my international education provides many advantages. I was exposed to diverse cultures and innovative ways of thinking from teachers from all over the globe at the [name of college] that I hope to bring back to Canada with me. Through the last 6 years, I have also had many research experiences and clinical electives in Canada that have given me insights into the intricacies of the Canadian Health Care system.

I am confident that pediatrics is the field I wish to pursue and I cannot wait to begin my residency so that I can start becoming an excellent clinician who advocates for children, as well as a scholar involved in research projects that will help advance the field. After successfully completing my pediatric residency program, I plan to pursue a pediatric fellowship. I am excited at the prospect of working and learning at the [name of school] while being an active and professional member of your residency program. I am also looking forward to developing my teaching skills and contributing to the community while also enjoying bike rides down the paths in the [name of path] and to be reunited with my [name of city] based family.

Want to see more Pediatrics Personal Statement Examples ?

“Code blue, electrophysiology laboratory” a voice announces overhead during my cardiology rotation. As the code team, we rush to the patient, an elderly man in shock. Seamlessly, we each assume our preassigned roles. I quickly review his chart and note to the team-leader that this patient had a previous EF of 10 percent and just got cardioverted. Vasopressors administered, intubation, central line secured, and the patient is stabilized and sent to our floor. During my rotations in internal medicine, I was constantly elated by my team’s ability to come together at such key moments. This gave me a sense of joy I did not find in other rotations. Moreover, I had inspiring attending physicians and residents who served as my mentors. They taught me that an internist is a medical expert committed to evidence-based medicine and perpetual learning, a compassionate physician, and an engaged community member. These lessons and the satisfaction of managing highly complex cases with a dedicated team consolidated my interest in internal medicine.

Compassion and a holistic approach to medicine remain quintessential for patient care. During my rotations, I took advantage of opportunities to learn from my patients both at the bedside and through independent reading. As a senior student, I prepared learning capsules that I presented to my team. This taught me to synthesize and communicate information efficiently. Beyond that, I took courses outside of the formal curriculum such as a point-of-care ultrasound course to improve my ultrasound procedural skills. When we no longer had any curative interventions to offer patients, I learned that acknowledging the patients’ suffering and being present for them in their most vulnerable time can ease their pain. As a resident at [name of school], I will continue my dedication to academic excellence and compassionate, patient-centered care in my efforts to care for my patients.

I have built strong ties to my community serving as president of the [name of school] Biology Student Union. Together, we enacted a complex study space and locker initiative through my role as a mentor at [name of organization]. These experiences instilled in me the values of proactivity and advocacy which I aim to bring with me to [name of school]. There, I hope to continue my community engagement as a mentor with the Big Brothers Big Sisters of [name of city]. Moreover, as I learn more about [name of town]'s healthcare system, I hope to combine that knowledge with my medical education to add my perspective to health policy decision-making in the province.

In addition to its excellent academic reputation, [name of school]’s commitment to academic excellence and continuing education, as exemplified by the abundant academic teaching, drew me to the program. Moreover, given my belief that we develop to be an amalgam of characteristics and values our mentors espouse, I was delighted to learn about the mentorship opportunities available. This was a unique characteristic that motivated me to apply to [name of school]. Finally, having lived in [name of city] for the last ten years, I am looking forward to spending the next chapter of my life in a smaller, more tightly knit community of [name of city].

As I learned and modeled the different roles of an internist, I also learned a lot about myself. I learned of my thirst for knowledge, of my desire to treat as well as to heal the patient, and of my urge to be a leader in my community. These characteristics will play a defining role in my residency. I also learned of my passion for acute medicine. After my residency, I hope to further subspecialize in cardiology. As a future cardiologist, I aim to provide patient-centered care, conduct research, continue my community engagement, and act as a role model to future generation.

Get inspired with these Cardiology Personal Statement Examples !

Watch this to learn what red flags to avoid in your residency personal statement!

Residency Personal Statement Examples #7: Psychiatry

I grew up in a tight knit military family in a community struck with the stigma of mental illness. Throughout my childhood we lost friends to the complications of untreated mental illness including overdose and suicide. I knew at that point that I wanted to pursue mental illness and completed a psychology degree and then a nursing degree. In University, I volunteered in a distress service for 6 years, providing individual sessions to students on issues including suicidality, interpersonal violence and addiction. As a registered nurse, I honed my skills in mental status examinations and cared for their comorbid psychiatric illness with medical disease utilizing communication and building rapport. I saw the impact of life altering conditions and procedures on their mental health. As a medical student, I continued to explore psychiatry through City X summer studentship and appreciated the breadth of psychiatric practice. As a clerk, I completed a range of psychiatric electives, caring for patients in multiple care settings and across various socioeconomic and age ranges. I enrolled in the integrated community clerkship, in X town, a community 900 km North of X city. The socioeconomic disparities and lack of access to mental health services had a negative impact on community, with suicidality and addictions. I followed my patients across practice domains assessing their functioning, medication regimen and continued to build a collaborative relationship. This proved crucial to uncover their health status across domains and helped me identify areas to support their challenges. 

I value the ability to understand my patients from a biopsychosocial framework and addressing negative thought processes in support of their wellness. I view our duty in psychiatry is to support their strengths on a trajectory to wellness and provide guidance and resources utilizing pharmacological and non-pharmacological therapies. Psychiatry is a newer field of medicine, allowing for ongoing innovations in treatment and practice. This is exciting to explore novel approaches to treatments as we continue to uncover the physiological, neurological and pharmacological dimensions of mental health. It is also important to recognize the challenges of psychiatry. The history of mental illness creates access to care barriers from both a structural viewpoint with longer wait times and on a personal level due to their concern about the social and occupational implications of stigma. As our population ages, this threatens to overwhelm the current psychiatric infrastructure and will require more complex approaches due to medical comorbidities and medication contraindications. We will require ongoing research focused on medical comorbidities of neuropsychiatric illness and treatment modalities to improve quality of care. 

I am drawn to the University of X psychiatry program due to its resident focused approach. I appreciate the ongoing mentorship and supervision and the preparatory endeavors including the mock examinations. From a clinical perspective, the program has a strong psychotherapy curriculum and offers unique elective opportunities including electroconvulsive therapy. The ability to continue serving rural communities solidifies my interests in this well-known program. 

Check out these Psychiatry Personal Statement Examples !

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Residency Personal Statement Examples #8: Internal Medicine

“People are drawn to medicine in one of two ways: the humanity or the science.” My mentor, [name of doctor], staff medical oncologist at the [name of hospital], once told me this. As a volunteer during my premedical studies, I assisted him with his impromptu lunchtime clinics while others were on break and was able to catch a glimpse of his patients’ unshakable trust in him. Those moments sparked my interest in Internal Medicine. Internists are entrusted with the most complex patients in any hospital. Therefore, Internists take on the responsibility of a patient’s trust in their lowest, most disoriented moments. Accordingly, when I finally started clinical rotations, I saw it as my responsibility to fully understand each patient’s motivations and fears to advocate for their goals. One patient I had gotten to know still stands out in my mind. She was 95, witty, and self-assured but was found to have bone metastasis causing excruciating pain during her hospital stay. She knew she did not want aggressive life-prolonging treatment and declined further workup, but how could we help her? I suggested palliative radiotherapy to my team because I remember her telling me “I had a good life. I am not scared of death, but if I have to be around for a while, can’t I be more comfortable?” Therefore, my team entrusted me to talk to her and her family about a referral to Radiation Oncology. She responded to me with “I don’t think there’s anyone who knows what I’d want better than you. You’ve listened to me so much. I trust you.” I spent the next half hour explaining the rationale behind the referral to both her and her family. She received urgent Radiotherapy two weeks later. Her narcotic requirement decreased by more than half. After that moment, I envisioned that one day, I could also look into the eyes of someone at their most vulnerable moment and give them confidence to trust me and my team with their care.

Although my interest in Internal Medicine is rooted in the human connection, my attention to detail, work ethic, and natural curiosity, also makes me especially well-suited for the challenges of Internal Medicine. Indeed, beyond the human connection, Internal Medicine’s challenges of complex problem solving, and large ever-growing breadth of knowledge is also what makes each day so satisfying. When I was on the Nephrology Consult service, I was following a patient with a kidney transplant who was admitted for Line Sepsis. I noticed a mild Non-Anion Gap Metabolic Acidosis and a persistent mild Hyperkalemia. I presented my findings to my staff as a possible Type 4 RTA. He complimented me on my attention to detail and warned that a Type 4 RTA in a kidney transplant patient could be a sign of rejection. We restarted his anti-rejection medication that had been held due to his infection, his electrolyte abnormalities corrected in less than two days. My attention to detail is a particular asset for Internal Medicine because more than any other specialty, the tiniest details like a mildly abnormal lab work, when pieced together in the correct way, could solve the most difficult clinical problem. That is also what makes problem-solving in Internal Medicine so satisfying. My mentors have always complimented me on my work ethic. However, I enjoy staying late for admissions and additional learning or reading hours around my patients at home because learning Internal Medicine is so interesting.

On the other hand, Internists are also tasked with the very large, working with multiple professionals and navigate system issues to keep patients healthy and out of hospital such as when [name of doctor] entrusted me with planning the discharge of a homeless patient during my Medicine CTU elective at [name of hospital]. The patient had Schizophrenia and Grave’s Disease and had been admitted to hospital multiple times that year with thyrotoxicosis due to medication non-adherence. During his admission, I had elicited the help of two homeless outreach coordinators to ensure proper follow-up. Therefore, by the time of discharge, he had a new family doctor, timely appointments with the family doctor and endocrinologist, maps with directions to each appointment, his prescription medications ready to go, as well as a new apartment application.

Ultimately, I am fortunate to be drawn to Internal Medicine for both its humanity and science. I believe that I have the qualities that will help me excel in its smallest details and its largest responsibilities. In residency, I aim to explore and learn as much Internal Medicine as possible before becoming an expert in one area so I can make an informed choice and be a well-rounded physician. Therefore, the fact that [name of city] has so many leading experts especially suits my learning goals. Indeed, during my electives in [name of city], I’ve already learned knowledge that I’ve not encountered elsewhere like the Bernese method of Buprenorphine induction. The availability of resources such as the DKA management simulation and the use of presentations of cutting-edge knowledge as part of evaluation also suits my self-directed learning style. Furthermore, my research has focused on the PMCC Gastro-Esophageal Cancer Database where we were able to discover various new details in the clinical behavior of Gastro-Esophageal cancer due to the large volume of patients are PMCC and its world-class expertise. This line of research would not work as well anywhere else in [name of country]. Indeed, our database is currently the second-largest in the world. Therefore, the second reason [name of city] is my ideal place for training is for its unique research opportunities, so I can continue to contribute to further medical knowledge. Lastly, [name of city] is the most diverse city in [name of country]. Growing up as an immigrant, I had experienced how cultural backgrounds can become a barrier to receiving good medical care. Therefore, the diverse patient population and strong allied health support in [name of city] could also allow me to hone the skills required to assist me in providing good quality care to all patients, regardless of background.

Here are more Internal Medicine Personal Statement Examples !

My first exposure to Family Medicine occurred during my time as a Medical Officer working in a small clinic in Nigeria in fulfilment of the [name of service]. There, I recognized that a career in this specialty would offer me the opportunity to not only experience the aspects I cherished most about other specialties, but fulfill my personal interests in advancing community health.

My many encounters with patients during my days in the clinic reaffirmed my view of Primary care physicians as being on the frontline of diagnosis and preventive medicine. There was the middle-aged diabetic patient who had first presented to the emergency with diabetic ketoacidosis, the hypertensive man whose initial complaint of a persistent headache prompted the discovery of his soaring blood pressure, and the adolescent with a family history of allergies who was diagnosed with asthma. These encounters highlighted that as the first point of contact, the general practitioner is not only responsible for diagnosis, but often in ensuring patients are set on the path of healthy habits to prevent disease complications. This unique opportunity to significantly advance the well-being of a patient, and by extension, the community renewed my interest in the field.

An especially appealing feature of Family Medicine is that it provides an opportunity for patient care without limitations of age, sex, disease or organ system. From treating colds and routine checkups to referral for a suspected malignancy, I enjoyed that every day in the clinic was a learning experience and no day was routine. In addition, having a diverse population of patients and cases requires an abundance of clinical knowledge and I cherish the chance to learn and expand my skills every day.

I also value that an essential part of Primary care is in the enduring relationships the practitioners develop with patients. I recall several moments during my clinical experiences when I recognized that some of the bonds formed during ongoing patient interactions had evolved into lasting friendships. Being a practice of continual care, I appreciate that this specialty provides many opportunities to follow patients through different stages of their lives ensuring a deepening of relationship and compliance with care. I was inspired during my clinical rotation here in the United States when I saw how my preceptorís long-term relationships with patients enabled their compliance and often extended to different generations within one family.

Ultimately, I am confident that my experiences have prepared me for a career in this specialty. An agreeable, attentive and compassionate nature has aided me in gaining trust as well as building meaningful interpersonal relationships which are crucial components of this field. Furthermore, my interaction with an extensive array of patients during my clinical and volunteer experiences has equipped me with the ability to communicate and relate to patients across different age groups and backgrounds. In addition, I enjoy working to coordinate patient care with colleagues and other specialties and value that the wellness of the patient is a result of hard work, dedication, and teamwork.

Thus, I hope to find a residency program dedicated to providing in-depth clinical training with a diverse patient population and an emphasis on health promotion and disease prevention through patient education and community service. Moreover, I look forward to being part of a program that will encourage my pursuit of intellectual development and advancement to enable my transition into a well-rounded, competent and skilled physician committed to serving people with needs in all areas of medicine. With a career in this specialty, I know that every day will bring a new opportunity to influence health behaviors, and while there will be challenges, fulfilling them will always be satisfying.

Here I am, yet again. Last year, I also applied for a position as a dermatology resident. Though I was not selected, I return with the same diligence and perseverance, as well as additional skills and knowledge. My continued dedication to pursue a career in dermatology reminds me that no good thing comes easily and pushes me to stay motivated and work hard toward my goals. 

I am drawn to dermatology for a host of reasons, one of which is the opportunity to work with my hands. In my current residency program, I have had the opportunity to assist in various surgical procedures. I recall the subdued exhilaration I felt when removing my first lipoma and the satisfaction of observing the surgeon completed the procedure with precision and care. My excitement for surgery continued to be reinforced in the many subsequent procedures I assisted with and I look forward to honing my surgical skills further as I complete my training in dermatology. 

However, to me, “hands-on” is defined as more than just its literal meaning. The opportunity to build relationships with patients steers me more towards a career in outpatient medicine. During my dermatology outpatient rotation, I was involved in the care of a patient who presented initially complaining of a heliotrope rash and gottron’s papules. When she expressed a deep sense of shame about this rash, I became acutely aware of how patient’s external disease can influence their internal emotions. I thus responded empathetically, simultaneously validating her concerns and providing her with much-needed assurance. When she was later diagnosed with dermatomyositis secondary to underlying breast cancer, this patient requested to speak to me specifically, recalling the positive interaction we had shared before. Again, I was able to explain the diagnosis and treatment plan with patience and regard for her every concern. Developing a trusted physician-patient relationship is crucial in the field of dermatology because most patients exhibit strong internal emotions from their visually external disease. Also important is the ability to deliver difficult news and be considerate of patients’ feelings in these delicate moments. I plan to continue to use these skills during my career as a dermatologist.  

To me, dermatology is also a field that is thought-provoking and stimulating due to its constant evolution and advancements. Thus, during my internship, I committed to educating myself in the field of dermatology through multiple research projects. My research thus far has been focused on whether UV light lamps used in gel manicures increases the risk of skin cancers as well as the outcomes of using intralesional 5-fluorouracil for squamous cell carcinoma and keratoacanthomas. While my research was focused in the field of dermatology, I did not hesitate to take on additional projects, pursuing assignments in both breast cancer and hemophagocytic lymphohistiocytosis. I strongly believe the best doctors have a thorough understanding of the practice of medicine in totality as our ability to incorporate this knowledge in our diagnosis and treatment of our patients directly impacts their wellbeing. For these reasons, I strive to continually educate myself in not only dermatology, but other fields that might have implications on my practice. 

My ideal dermatology program would allow me to manage a variety of complex medical dermatological conditions and engage in research, both of which will continue to challenge me intellectually and push me to exercise creativity to develop innovative solutions to dermatological treatments. As someone who enjoys working with my hands and the instant gratification of the surgical approach as a treatment option, I would also value the opportunity to perform surgeries and improve my surgical skills. Furthermore, I have found that beyond medicine, the people in each program make or break an experience. Positive attitudes, expressed dedication, and mentorship are vital characteristics in any program of my interest.

I am confident my aspirations will be fulfilled in the field of dermatology, but more importantly, I know I will be a good contribution to this field and your program – my work ethic, motivation, and commitment unwavering. I am determined, impassioned, and excited to embark on this next phase of my journey. 

Check out even more Dermatology Personal Statement Examples !

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How To Address Areas of Concern

There are some things that are out of our control. Sometimes we have to take time off to deal with personal issues, or sometimes we have to retake tests. If you have something you feel like you need to explain in your application, the personal statement is the area to address it. If you had a leave of absence or failed an exam, you should offer a clear, unemotional explanation of the situation. Use positive language. Whatever the area of concern, try and phrase it in the most favorable light. Take accountable for what has happened, but do not place blame or make an excuse. Here are some phrases you can try and use in your personal statement.

Sometimes we have to interact with people who we don't see eye to eye with. When I worked with (you can choose to say the person's name or just use their title) I learned how to (insert a lesson here). Even though it was a challenge, I have gained skills that will better my future practice. ","label":"Unfavorable Evaluation by an Attending","title":"Unfavorable Evaluation by an Attending"}]" code="tab1" template="BlogArticle">

Keep in mind that these are suggestions. If you are concerned about an area of your application that might be a red flag, it may be in your best interest to address it head-on. The choice to write about them is your own individual opinion. Your personal statement should highlight the best side of you. If you think that an area of weakness might hurt your chances, it may be beneficial to take ownership of the problem and write it in a way that will show what you learned and how it made you better.

For the most part, your residency personal statement should be within a one-page limit or approximately 750-850 words. Be sure to check your specific program requirements to verify before you begin writing.

It's entirely up to you if you want to address unfavorable grades or gaps in your studies. However, if you feel something in your application will be seen as a red flag, it's best to address issues head-on instead of having admissions committees dwell on possible areas of concern.

If you're going to address a gap, just ensure that you have a clear narrative for why you took these breaks, what you did on break and what this break means for your ability to function at a very high academic level for many years to come.

If you're addressing a poor evaluation, ensure that you take responsibility for your grade, discuss what you learned and how your performance will be improved in the future - then move on. It's important that you don't play the victim and you must always reflect on what lessons you've learned moving forward.

Absolutely. While it's not necessary to discuss your personal connection to a program location, showing program directors that you have ties to their program's location can give you a competitive edge over other applicants. The reason being is that it's a way to show program directors that you are invested in practicing medicine locally.

That's not to say that you have to apply to programs that are within your home state or province, but if one of the reasons you love a particular program is because of its location in your hometown, don't be afraid to mention this. Whether you enjoy the outdoor activities in the program's location, have family and friends in the area, or even grew up in the area at some point, these can all be great aspects to mention.

Firstly, it's important to check the program's specific requirements for your statement because some programs have a specific prompt or multiple prompts that you'll need to address. If you are not given a prompt, in general, your statement needs to answer “why this specialty?” and “why this program?”. Your responses must be supported with your personal experiences and your statement should incorporate your future career goals.

No, instead you'll be preparing one personal statement for each specialty. For example, if you're applying to emergency medicine and family medicine, you'll need to prepare one statement for emergency medicine and one statement for family medicine.

As long as it's during the application season, you can edit and review your personal statement. However, keep in mind that if you edit your personal statement, there is no guarantee that programs will review the most up to date version. For this reason, it's best to only assign your personal statement to programs once you've 100% happy with the final version.

No, there is no limit on how many personal statements you can create. 

Your personal statement should have three major structural elements: the introduction, the body, and the conclusion. Your thesis statement will appear in your introduction in the first paragraph. The body is for you to discuss major experiences relevant to your chosen specialty, and the conclusion is generally the place to summarize and highlight some of the item you mentioned in the body or introduction.

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Politics latest: Senior Labour MP 'genuinely a bit hurt' as defection 'caught everyone by surprise'

Right-wing Tory MP Natalie Elphicke has defected to Labour, hitting out at the "broken promises of Rishi Sunak's tired and chaotic government". The move has raised eyebrows across Westminster given some of her previous comments.

Wednesday 8 May 2024 22:49, UK

Please use Chrome browser for a more accessible video player

• Tory MP defects to Labour  | How stunned MPs reacted
• Labour insists no place for Farage despite welcoming right-wing MP
• Explained:  Who is Tory defector Natalie Elphicke?
• Sam Coates: More defections possible - but some Labour nerves too
• Labour restores whip to suspended MP
• New Scottish first minister names cabinet
• Connor Gillies: Is the SNP lurching to the right?
• Live reporting by Ben Bloch and (earlier)  Faith Ridler

Our political editor Beth Rigby has just been giving her view on a shocking day in Westminster that saw Natalie Elphicke dramatically cross the floor to the Labour benches as PMQs was getting underway.

Beth says: "It's clearly a body blow to a prime minister that's just had the worst defeat for the Conservative Party in 40 years, and then has the spectacle of an MP crossing the floor as he's in the House.

"It caught everyone by surprise."

But she adds that it's "not completely straight forward for Keir Starmer too tonight."

She says she has spoken to "a number of MPs", and "there is a lot of unhappiness on the Labour benches".

One senior Labour MP told her they felt "genuinely a bit hurt by it all".

The MP told her: "I just expected better. Never underestimate the ability of politics to disappoint."

Another MP on the left of the party said it has "gone down very badly" and there is "disappointment" and "disbelief" across the party.

That person said: "An opportunist whose virtual entire political activity has been centred upon opposing Labour values is opened with open arms."

The key issue for Labour, Beth explains, is that Ms Elphicke has always been on the right of the Conservative Party, so her crossing the floor is "quite difficult for some MPs to swallow".

She says the bigger picture for Sir Keir Starmer is that he has had two defections from the Conservative Party in 11 days - one saying Labour is better on the NHS, and now Ms Elphicke saying the PM has "broken promises on immigration".

Beth concludes: "Given that is the hill on which Rishi Sunak is fighting his election campaign effectively, that is going to really hurt, and Labour will chalk that up as a win and hope that the MPs complain in private, but keep quiet publicly.

By  Faye Brown , political reporter

Nigel Farage would not be accepted into Labour because his values are "completely inimical" to the party, a shadow frontbencher said.

Anneliese Dodds was asked about her party's "red lines" following the shock defection of former Tory MP Natalie Elphicke to the Opposition on Wednesday.

Some Labour figures have expressed concerns about the move, given that the Dover MP has repeatedly attacked Labour over migration and was seen as being on the right of her party.

Ms Dodds told the Politics Hub with Sophy Ridge that she had not been contacted by anybody "to say they didn't want that decision to have been taken", following reports Sir Keir Starmer has faced a hostile response.

Asked if Mr Farage would be welcome if he wanted to join Labour, Ms Dodds said: "Nigel Farage is someone who is well outside any kind of Labour values.

"He has proven that time and time and time again."

Read the full story here:

It's been a big day in Scotland today, with John Swinney being sworn in as the new first minister and the appointment of his new cabinet.

The Scottish government has confirmed 11 cabinet ministers have been appointed, with 14 junior ministers below them.

This means that there are four fewer ministers in the Scottish government since the start of this year.

And in a sign of what the new SNP first minister's priorities will be, the "minister for independence" role has been scrapped, and no longer appears on the Scottish government's website.

The role was first created just over a year ago when Humza Yousaf became first minister.

By Tomos Evans , Wales reporter

Wales's first minister Vaughan Gething has said he is "entirely relaxed" after being accused of misleading the UK COVID Inquiry.

Nation.Cymru reported on Tuesday that Mr Gething sent a text message in which he said "I'm deleting the messages in this group".

"They can be captured in an FOI [Freedom of Information request] and I think we are all in the right place on the choice being made," the message added.

The Welsh news outlet reported the message was posted in a ministerial group chat on Monday 17 August 2020.

"The message that has been published today is a message from me without the context of the discussion," Mr Gething said at First Minister's questions.

You can read more below:

At Westminster today, we've seen Sir Keir Starmer accused of taking Labour rightwards after welcoming former Tory MP Natalie Elphicke, who defected just before PMQs.

Up in Scotland, are the SNP going in a similar direction?

New party leader and first minister John Swinney has just been speaking about his cabinet, which notably includes former leadership candidate Kate Forbes as his deputy.

Our Scotland correspondent Connor Gillies says "she was promised a significant and senior role", having chosen not to run for the leadership again after her failed attempt last year.

She got almost half the vote but lost to Humza Yousaf.

The progressive Scottish Greens, who were in coalition with Mr Yousaf's SNP until they were turfed out last month, sparking his downfall, are "not particularly pleased" with Ms Forbes's appointment.

There's "a sense the SNP is taking a lurch to the right", says Connor, given her more socially conservative views.

That charge has been denied by Mr Swinney, who has vowed "to be a first minister for everyone, whether you're in the LGBT community or not".

Ms Forbes has previously said she would have voted against gay marriage and the government's gender reform laws, and that her faith means she thinks having children outside marriage is "wrong".

Connor says the disquiet her appointment will cause among some in the Scottish parliament is a sign of how tough a job Mr Swinney has to improve the sense of unity among MSPs, something he has to do to govern effectively with a minority administration.

By Jennifer Scott , political reporter

The Conservatives must stop their voters from "drifting to Reform" in order to win the next election, Robert Jenrick has said.

Speaking to political editor Beth Rigby , the former immigration minister pointed to lowering legal migration as the "most important" issue to win back those who now support Nigel Farage's party - as well as people who voted Tory in 2019 "who [now] don't feel that the party is being conservative enough".

Mr Jenrick also said he would have "no problem" with Mr Farage joining his party, or "working with" him, adding: "I want the Conservative Party to be one which is the natural home for anyone who shares my determination to tackle issues like illegal and legal migration."

You can read more here:

The Sky News live poll tracker - collated and updated by our Data and Forensics team - aggregates various surveys to indicate how voters feel about the different political parties.

With the local elections complete, Labour is still sitting comfortably ahead, with the Tories trailing behind.

See the latest update below - and you can read more about the methodology behind the tracker  here .

After Natalie Elphicke announced her defection from the Tory party to Labour this lunchtime, there were immediately questions about what would happen to Labour's existing candidate.

Mike Tapp, a former soldier, was selected a long while ago, and he has tonight publicly reassured voters that he remains their candidate.

He posted on X: "I'm still your candidate!

"We've seen countless Tory switchers, today another, I look forward to Natalie's support at the next general election.

"Natalie has seen that only Labour has a plan to secure our borders, and build the homes we need."

Over a year ago, Rishi Sunak made five pledges for voters to judge him on.

The prime minister met his promise to halve inflation by the end of 2023.

But with the general election approaching, how is Mr Sunak doing on delivering his other promises?

You can see the progress for yourself below:

We are now hearing from our panel in reaction to  Sophy Ridge 's interview with Labour chair Anneliese Dodds about Natalie Elphicke's defection from the Tories.

Ash Sarkar , contributing editor at Novara Media, says she "didn't find it convincing", but adds: "It's the job of politicians to say things they don't really mean."

She repeats her earlier argument that Ms Elphicke defected "because it's damaging to Rishi Sunak" ( see post at 19.29 ).

Tory MP  Rehman Chishti  says: "Everyone that I speak to from Kent is very disappointed because everyone worked together and supported Natalie in the most difficult and challenging times."

The Gillingham MP adds the move by Ms Elphicke, the MP for Dover, is "opportunism".

"She also was the one who supported Liz Truss in the leadership election, you know, in that regard.

"So naturally, she may not want to be supporting the Conservative administration."

Asked if there is a party management problem, Mr Chishti says: "Leaders come and go. But the question of successful leaders is with regards to engaging with your MPs, having an inclusive environment, and if they've got concerns, bring them in early.

"And I think it's something which the party could better do with."

That concludes tonight's edition of Politics Hub With Sophy Ridge - scroll down for all the key moments and highlights.

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