essay questions about the giver

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Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapters 1-3

Chapters 4-6

Chapters 7-9

Chapters 10-12

Chapters 13-15

Chapters 16-18

Chapters 19-21

Chapters 22-23

Character Analysis

Symbols & Motifs

Important Quotes

Essay Topics

Further Reading & Resources

Discussion Questions

What does it mean to be “released” from the community Jonas lives in? Name a few reasons people are released and explain how the act of releasing someone reflects the community’s values.

Receiver is described as a position of honor, while the Birthmother assignment is said to lack honor. Why is this the case? What might happen if the status of these roles were switched?

At several points in The Giver , Jonas expresses that having choices is dangerous. Why does he feel this way, and how does his opinion about choices change as the story unfolds?

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Welcome to the LitCharts study guide on Lois Lowry's The Giver . Created by the original team behind SparkNotes, LitCharts are the world's best literature guides.

The Giver: Introduction

The giver: plot summary, the giver: detailed summary & analysis, the giver: themes, the giver: quotes, the giver: characters, the giver: symbols, the giver: theme wheel, brief biography of lois lowry.

Historical Context of The Giver

Other books related to the giver.

• Full Title: The Giver
• When Written: Early 1990s
• Where Written: Maine
• When Published: April 16, 1993
• Literary Period: Contemporary
• Genre: Dystopian novel
• Setting: A managed community in a futuristic society. The community is cut off from the outside world, which is referred to as "elsewhere."
• Climax: Jonas learns that when his father "releases" newchildren, he actually kills them. Jonas decides to leave the community.
• Antagonist: Jonas's community and its system of Sameness
• Point of View: Third-person limited, through Jonas's eyes

Extra Credit for The Giver

Awards: The Giver won the 1994 Newbery Medal, considered the most prestigious award for children's literature.

Banned Book: Although The Giver tops countless school reading lists, it has also been banned by some schools, which claim that some of the material, like euthanasia and suicide, is inappropriate for children.

One of Three: Lowry has written two more books set in the world of The Giver and including some of the characters from The Giver . The three books together are often described as a "loose trilogy." The second book in the series is Gathering Blue and was published in 2000. The third, The Messenger , was published in 2004.

• Literature Notes
• Major Themes in The Giver
• Book Summary
• About The Giver
• Character List
• Summary and Analysis
• Chapters 1-2
• Chapters 3-5
• Chapters 6-8
• Chapters 9-10
• Chapters 11-12
• Chapters 13-15
• Chapters 16-17
• Chapters 18-20
• Chapters 21-23
• Lois Lowry Biography
• Critical Essays
• Style and Language in The Giver
• What Are Utopias and Dystopias?
• A Note about Infanticide and Euthanasia
• Full Glossary for The Giver
• Essay Questions
• Cite this Literature Note

Critical Essays Major Themes in The Giver

Many themes in The Giver demonstrate Lowry's concerns about society and humanity. For example, she concentrates on the tradeoffs involved when Jonas' community chooses Sameness rather than valuing individual expression. Certain themes in the book are familiar because they can be found in other novels by Lowry.

Throughout The Giver , Lowry attempts to awaken each and every reader to the dangers that exist when people opt for conformity over individuality and for unexamined security over freedom. At one time in the past, the people who inhabited Jonas' community intended to create a perfect society. They thought that by protecting the citizens from making wrong choices (by having no choices), the community would be safe. But the utopian ideals went awry, and people became controlled and manipulated through social conditioning and language. Now, even the expression "love" is an empty ideal. For example, when Jonas asks his parents if they love him, his mother scolds him for using imprecise language. She says that "love" is "a very generalized word, so meaningless that it's become almost obsolete." To Jonas, however, love is a very real feeling.

Lowry stresses the point that people must not be blindly obedient to the rules of society. They must be aware of and must question everything about their lives. In Jonas' community, the people passively accept all rules and customs. They never question the fact that they are killing certain babies simply because such babies are different, or that they are killing old people whom they determine are no longer productive to the community. The community members unquestioningly follow rules; over time, because killing has become a routine practice, horrible and senseless actions do not morally, emotionally, or ethically upset them. As The Giver says of Jonas' father's killing the lighter-weight twin male, "It's what he was told to do, and he knows nothing else."

Another important theme in The Giver is the value of the individual. Lowry points out that when people are unable to experience pain, their individuality is devalued. Memories are so vital because they oftentimes include pain, and pain is an individual reaction: What is painful to one person might not be painful to another person. Also, people learn from memories and gain wisdom from remembering past experiences.

Life in Jonas' community is very routine, predictable, and unchanging. So are most of the people who live in the community. These characters are uncomplicated and complacent. They are static, simple, one-dimensional characters. Because the majority of them do not change throughout the novel, we see only one part of their personalities — their surface appearances and actions. Nothing happens within static characters; things happen to them.

Most of the citizens in the community passively follow the rules of the community. They always do what they are told. Nothing has ever happened to them except when an earlier Receiver-in-training, Rosemary, asked for release because she no longer could tolerate living in the community. After her death, the people were in total chaos because they didn't know what to do with the memories that Rosemary had experienced. They were not accustomed to thinking for themselves. Experiencing Rosemary's memories was something that happened to the people. Afterward, they resumed their lives as before, so it is evident that nothing permanently changed within them.

Jonas, on the other hand, is a dynamic character. He changes during the course of the novel due to his experiences and actions. We know how Jonas changes because Lowry narrates The Giver in the third person, limited omniscient viewpoint in order to reveal Jonas' thoughts and feelings. When the novel begins, Jonas is as unconcerned as anyone else about how he is living. He has grown up with loudspeakers, rules, precise language, and a family that is not connected biologically, and he has accepted this way of life because he doesn't know any other type of existence. But as he receives The Giver's memories and wisdom, he learns the truth about his community, that it is a hypocrisy and that the people have voluntarily given up their individuality and freedom to live as robots. Jonas' character changes and becomes more complex. He experiences an inner conflict because he misses his old life, his childhood, and his innocence, but he can't return to his former way of life because he has learned too much about joy, color, and love. Lowry writes of Jonas toward the beginning of Chapter 17, "But he knew he couldn't go back to that world of no feelings that he had lived in so long."

Jonas also experiences an external conflict between himself and the community. He is frustrated and angry because he wants his fellow citizens to change and thereby give up Sameness. He knows that the community and each person's life will benefit if only they would — or could — reclaim their individuality. But the people can't change. Generations ago, they chose Sameness over freedom and individuality. Now, they know no other way of life.

Other themes in The Giver , such as family and home, friendships, acts of heroism, as well as the value of remembering the past, are familiar because they are themes in Lowry's previous novels also. Like Rabble in Rabble Starkey , Jonas has to leave the family that was created for him. Through the experience of leaving, both Jonas and Rabble learn to appreciate what it means to have a family and a home. And like Annemarie in Lowry's award-winning Number the Stars , Jonas lives in a repressed society in which he has no freedom. Both Jonas and Annemarie risk their lives in order to save people they love. Because the conclusion of The Giver is so ambiguous, we don't know how Jonas' experiences ultimately affect him or his community. We do know that he matures and that he feels excited and joyful as he and Gabe ride down the hill on the sled.

Lowry challenges her readers to reexamine their values and to be aware of the interdependence of all human beings with each other, their environment, and the world in which they live. When people are forced to live under an oppressive regime that controls every person's actions, meaningful relationships between people are threatened because they involve individual feelings and thoughts. Only by questioning the conditions under which we live, as Jonas does in The Giver , can we maintain and secure our freedom of expression.

Previous Lois Lowry Biography

Next Style and Language in The Giver

The Study Blog :

How to write the giver essay [summary, themes + topics included].

By Evans Nov 28 2022

Have you ever wondered how life would be if there was no pain in the world? Imagine if you did not have to struggle to understand what to pursue in life, who to have as your partner, or even the number of children to have since all these have already been decided for you! The Giver gives us a glimpse into such a world. If you have been tasked with writing an essay on The Giver , worry not for we will help you not only understand this thought-provoking book but also how to write The Giver essay .

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A summary of The Giver

T he Giver is about a futuristic community that exists in a world where there are no feelings and everyone is practically the same. The Elders control everything that one has to do. At the age of 12, every child is assigned a job depending on their talents and capabilities. When the time comes to marry, someone will be assigned someone who suits you. This means that this Sameness society feels no pain, no war, or hunger (some pretty goods not to feel, huh!) unfortunately, this also means that they do not experience love, sex, music, or anything of the sort. Jonas is selected to become the Receiver, meaning he gets to keep all of the community’s past memories. As a result, he gets to feel things that almost everyone in the community has never felt. Unable to watch the community continue living in its ignorance, he chooses to run away so that people can finally feel things.

How to write an essay on The Giver

When writing an essay on The Giver , you have to, first of all, take time to read the book. It is quite difficult to write on a subject that you do not understand. Immerse yourself in the world of Jonas and his Sameness community.

Find the right angle

Once you are done reading the book, you can now find the right angle for your essay. Finding the right angle will help give you a clear picture of how your essay is going to look like. If you have no idea how to find the right angle for your essay, do not worry, we will help you with some of the essay topics that you can choose from.

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The Giver essay topics

Is the giver a dystopian or utopian community.

The community in The Giver is not your normal kind of community. This is a community that can be seen as either a utopian community in that nothing bad ever “happens” here or dystopian in that people in the community are not allowed to experience things such as music, love, color, or sex! In your essay, you choose to view this community as either of the two.

Symbolism in  The Giver

Symbolism is always a safe choice when it comes to writing a literature essay. The Giver comes loaded with its symbolism, from using biblical names for its characters to the symbolism of the apple and the eye among others.

How Jonas’ community managed to create a society of sameness

It is not easy to create a community that is completely different from the norm. This is an important part of the book and it deserves as much attention as you can give it. Explore various ways that the Elders managed to modify behavior, punish rebels, and avoid an uproar.

The power of words

Words are powerful (so have we been told time and time again). Words can be the greatest tool of propaganda. It is also the greatest tool that has been used time and time again to incite people, either for good or for worse. The Giver uses specific words that help distort the reality of the community. These words include release, nurturer, and elsewhere among others. You can choose to discuss how these words have been used to keep people satisfied with a very dull life.

Transformation

Perhaps Jonas is the character that encounters the greatest transformation in the community, from a young, ignorant child who’s scared of the kind of job that will be assigned to him to being the Receiver who is not willing to keep lying to everyone in the community. You can come up with such an incredible essay just by focusing on Jonas' transformation.

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Home — Essay Samples — Literature — Books — The Giver

Essays on The Giver

Prompt examples for "the giver" essays, dystopian society.

Examine the characteristics of the dystopian society depicted in "The Giver." How does the society control its citizens, and what are the consequences of this extreme control?

Individuality and Memory

Discuss the themes of individuality and memory in the novel. How does the absence of memory and emotions impact the characters' sense of self, and what does the importance of memory reveal about the human experience?

The Role of the Receiver

Analyze the role of the Receiver of Memory in the community. How does Jonas's training and experiences challenge the conformity of the society, and what does it teach him about the power of knowledge and emotions?

Freedom and Rebellion

Explore the themes of freedom and rebellion in "The Giver." How do Jonas and others in the community resist the oppressive rules and seek a more liberated existence, and what risks are involved?

Ethical Dilemmas

Discuss the ethical dilemmas faced by Jonas and other characters as they confront the reality of their society. What moral decisions do they make, and what are the implications of their choices?

Symbolism and Color

Analyze the symbolism of color and its significance in the novel. How does the absence of color represent the lack of individuality and emotion in the community, and what does the introduction of color symbolize?

Hook Examples for "The Giver" Essays

Anecdotal hook.

"As I ventured into the seemingly utopian world of 'The Giver,' I couldn't help but reflect on the price of conformity, the value of individuality, and the profound consequences of memory."

Rhetorical Question Hook

"What if you lived in a society where all memories, emotions, and choices were controlled? Lois Lowry's 'The Giver' prompts us to explore the boundaries of human experience and the cost of a so-called perfect world."

Startling Quote Hook

"'When people have the freedom to choose, they choose wrong.' These words from the novel encapsulate the central theme of 'The Giver' and its exploration of the human desire for both freedom and security."

Dystopian Elements Hook

"In the dystopian community depicted in 'The Giver,' individuality is sacrificed for sameness, and memories of the past are erased. Explore the chilling aspects of this controlled society."

Narrative Hook

"Step into the shoes of Jonas as he embarks on a journey to challenge the norms of his society and uncover the truth. This narrative captures the essence of Lois Lowry's thought-provoking storytelling."

Character Development Hook

"Witness Jonas' transformation from a compliant citizen to a courageous individual who questions the status quo. Analyzing the character arc adds depth to the narrative."

Ethical Dilemmas Hook

"What ethical dilemmas do the characters face in 'The Giver,' and how do these dilemmas resonate with contemporary moral questions? Exploring the novel's ethical dimensions prompts reflection on our own values."

Memory and Emotion Hook

"How do memories and emotions shape human identity, and what happens when they are suppressed? Delving into the role of memory in the story sheds light on the characters' experiences."

Utopian vs. Dystopian Hook

"What does 'The Giver' reveal about the complexities of utopian ideals and the dangers of conformity? Examining the contrast between utopia and dystopia offers valuable insights."

Lois Lowry's Literary Impact Hook

"How does 'The Giver' contribute to Lois Lowry's literary impact and her legacy in young adult literature? Exploring the novel's place in the genre reveals its enduring significance."

The Giver: a Dystopian Analysis

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Reflection on The Giver

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Plot Summary of "The Giver" by Lois Lowry

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Censorship, Control and Conformity in "The Giver"

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Novel, Young Adult Fiction, Children's Literature, Science Fiction, Soft Science Fiction, Dystopian Fiction, Utopian Fiction

Asher, Jonas, The Giver, Fiona, Gabriel, Lily

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• Instructions Followed To The Letter
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by Lois Lowry

The giver quiz 1.

• 1 When does I[The Giver] begin? At the Ceremony In midsummer Nearly December In the new year
• 2 How does Jonas really feel at the beginning of the novel? Annoyed Apprehensive Confident Fearful
• 3 When had Jonas last felt fear? Never When Caleb fell into the river At the Ceremony of Eleven When a jet had flown over the community
• 4 What two words does Asher confuse in Jonas's first recollection of him? Illiterate and obliterate Intimate and imitate Distraught and distracted Reprehend and comprehend
• 5 What does Lily discuss at the daily telling of feelings? A visiting Seven who does not obey the rules A boy who keeps falling off his bicycle An upsetting dream she had today A newchild who is not doing well
• 6 How does one obtain a child for one's family unit? By assignment Through an appeal to the Elders By approval of one's application Through natural means
• 7 How does Father break the rules with regard to newchild Thirty-six? He gives the child extra care. He refuses to release the child. He takes the child home with him. He looks up the child's name on the Naming list.
• 8 How does Father help console Jonas about the Ceremony of Twelve? He reminds Jonas that there is an appeal process. He tells Jonas that all will be for the best, no matter what. He points out that Jonas already knows what his Assignment probably will be. He recounts his own Ceremony of Twelve.
• 9 Why has the rule about bicycles not been changed? Putting it through committee would take too long. People enjoy breaking this particular rule. No one rides bicycles anymore. The community does not want to endanger young children.
• 10 What is Jonas's father's job? Nurturer Justice Caretaker Speaker
• 11 What is unusual about Jonas and Gabriel? Their curly hair Their names The color of their skin The color of their eyes
• 12 Why is Lily's comment about Jonas's and Gabriel's unusual trait insensitive? The trait is a negative one. It is impolite to mention how people are different. She says it to hurt Jonas. She is not supposed to make such comments in public.
• 13 Why does Mother not approve of Lily's desire to be a Birthmother? Lily is clearly not meant for that Assignment. That Assignment has little honor. She wants Lily to become a Justice. That Assignment is boring.
• 14 At what age do children begin their volunteer hours? Seven Ten Nine Eight
• 15 Why did Jonas steal the apple? He wanted to disobey the rules. It changed somehow when he was looking at it. He was hungry. He forgot it was in his pocket.
• 16 What is Benjamin's specialty? Helping care for the Old Engineering new machines Learning about medicine Working at the Rehabilitation Center
• 17 Why does Jonas never compliment Benjamin? He does not care about Benjamin. He resents Benjamin's success. He is too shy to do so. He does not want to force Benjamin to brag.
• 18 Where does Jonas find Asher's bicycle during volunteer hours? At the Nurturing Center At Food Distribution At the House of the Old At the Rehabilitation Center
• 19 How does Jonas interact with Larissa? He bathes her. He works for her. He keeps her company while she sleeps. He brings her food.
• 20 How did Roberto look as he walked through the door in the Releasing Room? Sad Hopeful Regretful Happy
• 21 At what age does Dream-telling begin? Four Five Two Three
• 22 Who is in Jonas's dream of his first Stirrings? Fiona Helen Asher Larissa
• 23 What feeling characterizes the Stirrings? Confusion Wanting Hatred Happiness
• 24 How do people in Jonas's community handle the Stirrings? They talk about it at the sharing of feelings. They suppress it with pills. They give counseling. They report it to the authorities.
• 25 How does Jonas feel about taking the pills? Curious Annoyed Guilty Proud but regretful

The Giver Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for The Giver is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

Should Jonas have asked them to stop playing the game of bad guys and good guys? CHAPTER 17

No, I don't think Jonas should ask them to stop playing. These kids cannot handle the emotional trauma  of forgetting their lunch let alone understanding emotions behind war and death. They simply would not comprehend what Jonas is talking...

Chapter 13-16

Jonas advocates choices, as well as real family units rather than created family units.

why didnt the game of good guys and bad guys that jonas's friends play seem harmless to jonas anymore? chapter 17

When he looks for Asher at the play area, he sees Tanya, an Eleven, being play-ambushed in a game by Asher. For the first time, Jonas recognizes this not only as a game of good guys and bad guys but also as a game of war. He watches the children...

Study Guide for The Giver

The Giver study guide contains a biography of Lois Lowry, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis of The Giver.

• About The Giver
• The Giver Summary
• The Giver Video
• Character List

Essays for The Giver

The Giver essays are academic essays for citation. These papers were written primarily by students and provide critical analysis of The Giver by Lois Lowry.

• The Cost of Security
• A Lonely Mind With a Heavy Burden: Hope in The Giver
• Is the Society of The Giver a Utopia?
• Reproductive Regulation and the Construction of Relationships for Populace Control in The Giver and “Pop Squad”

Lesson Plan for The Giver

• About the Author
• Study Objectives
• Common Core Standards
• Introduction to The Giver
• Relationship to Other Books
• Bringing in Technology
• Notes to the Teacher
• Related Links
• The Giver Bibliography

Wikipedia Entries for The Giver

• Introduction
• Analysis of themes
• Literary significance and reception

• Share full article

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The Ethicist

Should i speak out when i overhear a person saying something hateful.

The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on taking a stand against homophobia and other forms of bigotry.

By Kwame Anthony Appiah

I was in a barbershop in a town west of the Mississippi and east of the Rockies. I didn’t hear what had been said before or what came after, but I suddenly heard another customer (quite calmly) say, “I just wish all homosexuals would be obliterated.” I’m gay and have had nightmares about being in a concentration camp because of my sexuality. Hearing those words said out loud froze my blood. I didn’t make a scene, just sat and pondered it all for a minute, then got up and walked out. I didn’t want to knowingly breathe the same air as someone speaking the language of Nazis. Should I have spoken out? — Name Withheld

From the Ethicist:

Some years ago, I was in Budapest at one of those “ruin bars” that pop up there in odd corners, and one of my drinking companions — a person with intertwined literary and civil rights careers — suddenly stood up and made his way over to a table of young men. He had been a dissident under Hungary’s Communist regime, and was something of a dissident under its current Fidesz party government. Not knowing Hungarian, I can only characterize his tone: reproving, but not antagonistic. He explained, when he returned, that he’d overheard one of the young men using a slur for gay people, and that he made a habit of correcting his compatriots whenever he heard them speaking contemptuously about gays, or Jews, or Romani, or another such disfavored group, none of which he was personally a member of. These “teaching moments” happened quite a lot, and, though I don’t know that he was ever slugged in response, he would not have been discouraged if he were. That’s the sort of person he was.

As I look back, it’s clear I wouldn’t have found what he did so admirable if I thought he was doing merely the moral minimum — fulfilling what was required of him. I don’t think one is obliged to confront everyone who says reprehensible things. I do think it would be better if more of us did so. So you didn’t have a duty to call out the guy. But if you judged it was safe to do so, you might, as you were leaving, have simply pointed out that there are gay people — and people who care about someone who’s gay — everywhere you go, and that it was a bad idea to assume he wouldn’t be overheard by one of them. Even if he wanted to be overheard, there are tactical advantages to invoking social norms as a proxy for moral condemnation. Of course, it would have been good if a straight person had spoken up, too. Enforcing norms of basic decency helps challenge the atmosphere of homophobia; in this case, it might have undermined the speaker’s confidence that he had conversational permission to wish for the obliteration of millions of human beings. My Hungarian dissident, for all his charm and persistence, knew he wasn’t going to change the customs of his country by himself. Still, people like him make the world just a little bit kinder.

A Bonus Question

Once, I was involved with an organization whose elected president was being undermined by a small but loud faction. Eventually, emails identified the troublemakers and revealed that they were actively sabotaging the president. Those people were expelled. The problem is that the president obtained these emails unethically.

A similar event occurred when a friend of mine was caught sexting. His partner found out because he had secretly obtained my friend’s passwords and had been monitoring his online activity for two years! I know illegally obtained evidence is inadmissible in court, but in real life, is there ever a justification? — Name Withheld

In general, an invasion of someone’s rights — in this case to privacy — doesn’t become justified by having good results. Sure, there can be complicated cases where rights are in conflict, and one must give way; we have legal procedures in place that, in carefully stipulated conditions, allow for this. But there’d be no point in moral rights if they could be overridden whenever anyone thought something beneficial would ensue. (Organizations typically reserve the right to review communications processed by their email system, though, ethically speaking, they should do so only for good and stated reasons. I’m guessing this wasn’t the scenario you’re describing, however.)

What’s mainly striking about the couple’s case? There was obviously something wrong in the relationship if one party was spying on the other like that. A partnership so lacking in trust, respect and honesty is hardly a partnership. Sexting someone outside the couple was presumably a violation of the understanding they had as well. So they both had reasons to feel betrayed.

I just hope that the fellow monitoring the other fellow’s digital activity doesn’t feel vindicated in his Stasi sideline. Between the spying and the sexting, I’d have to say that the spying was worse. It was a premeditated and ongoing betrayal of the partner’s privacy — a corrosive pattern of disrespect and deceit. The sexting was no doubt a breach of trust, and a hurtful one, but it was a particular action that may not represent an ongoing attitude of disrespect for the other person. The candor and intimacy characteristic of a loving relationship cannot be secured through surveillance.

Readers Respond

The previous question was from a reader who was discomfited by a stranger’s gift. She wrote: “While checking out groceries at a supermarket, I realized my $120 in cash might not suffice and asked the cashier to stop tallying before $120. When I reached $119, an unknown woman approached the cashier and said she wanted to cover the orphaned groceries. I hesitated but ultimately agreed. After paying, she took off. I retrieved the $120 from my purse, only to be informed by the cashier that the woman had paid the entire $133 bill. I dashed out of the store to inform her of the error, but she insisted she’d intended to pay the entire bill. … I was shocked and embarrassed. I’m wondering about the ethics of Random Acts of Kindness. This generous woman had the appearance of someone who needed that money to pay for necessities more than I needed it at checkout. Should I have declined her offer?”

In his response, the Ethicist noted: “You recall feeling ‘shocked and embarrassed’ — was this because you think you were mistaken for being poor, and you believe there’s something dishonorable about this condition? Or were you simply concerned, more honorably, that someone worse off than you burdened herself on your behalf? It’s entirely possible that this woman did mistake you for a person in need (most shoppers have a credit card in their wallet); it’s also possible she just felt like being generous. She’s an adult who’s entitled to make her own decisions. You seem highly confident in your ability to size up people’s financial situation from their personal appearance. Are you really so certain that she’s unable to do the same? Sometimes the greatest gift we can give people is to accept their gift graciously.” (Reread the full question and answer here .)

I concur with the Ethicist’s response that accepting a gift graciously can be a meaningful gesture. However, in this particular situation, I believe that paying it forward would be a more impactful gesture. It is a privilege to be in a position where financial assistance is unnecessary. If the letter writer feels uneasy about accepting the gift, she should consider donating the amount to a charity, cause or even to someone in need. Rather than feeling embarrassed or ashamed, she should view this opportunity as a chance to spread kindness in a world that is in dire need of it. It is often said that the giver receives more blessings than the receiver. I encourage her to consider using the extra $133 she now has, thanks to the kindness of a stranger, to pay it forward and make a positive impact on someone else’s life. — Stefanie

Right on to that last paragraph about the importance of accepting a gift graciously. Such gestures convey all sorts of meanings, not altogether comforting for recipients. We ought to shed the psychological baggage that inhibits us from recognizing such acts as the simple generosities that they are and responding with the simple “Thank you” that they deserve. — Charles

For the letter writer, who worried that her benefactor looked like she might have needed the money herself: I’m 80, rarely buy new clothes, wear no makeup, have a plain utilitarian haircut and do not own a car. These are all choices based on necessity as well as intention to live simply. When I can help someone out, it brings me joy. — Gabi

In my favorite book, Betty Smith’s “A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,” Katie Nolan allows her daughter Francie to have coffee three times a day, even though Katie knows Francie doesn’t like the taste and will never drink it. She protects Francie’s right to waste something, to know she’s free to toss it down the drain even though the Nolan family doesn’t have a penny to spare. I agree with the Ethicist. The letter writer can’t know the benevolent woman’s circumstances. Some very wealthy people wear humble, even tattered clothing in public — I happen to know a few. If she is well off, the giver may have felt obliged to help someone in a financial fix. Or, if the generous donor is as cash-poor as her appearance suggests, she may have wanted the feeling of tossing the money at someone who needed it right then, without regard to her own needs. Whether it turns out the act was wasteful is, I suppose, dependent on whether the recipient continues to question its fitness, or whether she simply accepts it gracefully, regardless of the giver’s motives. — Jean

This is a beautifully stated answer. The letter writer would do well to remember that we are of a whole community and that to give freely to one’s neighbor without the need to size them up as worthy or unworthy is the ultimate act of generosity to oneself. Ten years on, I still treasure the memory of paying for a child’s pile of books. She had excitedly chosen the titles from the library’s secondhand room, and her mother had come up short. Why spoil that memory for someone with a lot of unnecessary noise? — Ruth

Kwame Anthony Appiah is The New York Times Magazine’s Ethicist columnist and teaches philosophy at N.Y.U. His books include “Cosmopolitanism,” “The Honor Code” and “The Lies That Bind: Rethinking Identity.” To submit a query: Send an email to [email protected]. More about Kwame Anthony Appiah

The Ethicist’s Answers to Your Moral Quandaries

Kwame anthony appiah helps us handle the tricky situations that put our values to the test..

Should I Speak Out When I Overhear a Person Saying Something Hateful?: No one is obliged to confront everyone who says reprehensible things, but it would be better if more of us did so .

Should I Have Refused a Stranger’s Offer to Buy My Groceries?: Sometimes the greatest gift we can give people is to accept their gift graciously .

As a Scientist, What Should I Do About My Mother’s Alternative-Medicine Views?: When reconciling two very different belief systems between family members, the aim should be not conversion to a single view but mere toleration .

Do I Owe a Boss Who Harassed Me Credit for Past Work?: Professional peers won’t know about a private situation, and some may see your failure to mention the collaboration as misleading or even dishonest .

To submit a question to the Ethicist, send an email to [email protected].  To receive advice directly in your inbox, sign up for the Ethicist newsletter .