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• Sentence type flow Pieces with good flow will make use of all four sentence types, varying them to keep the reader interested.
• Sentence length flow Sentence length is indirectly related to sentence type, and is a good indicator of flow. Flow can be altered by adding, removing, lengthening, shortening, combining, or splitting sentences. Long sentences will be indicated by a red line on the graph. Sentences that flow poorly with their surroundings will be orange, and the source of the problem can often be found in a nearby sentence.
• Word length flow Word length is a minor contributor to overall flow, but even minor variations are signs of good rhythm.
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• Misplaced conjunctions It is considered poor style to place coordinating conjunctions at either end of a sentence. Placing a subordinating conjunction at the end of a sentence is against the rules.

It is said that one day, passive voice will bring weakness to your prose.

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• Overwriting Words like "very" and "really" make sentences wordier and weaken your message. These can be deleted in almost all cases without affecting the meaning of the sentence.
• Abstract words Abstract words lack specificity and overusing them can make even simple concepts difficult to understand. There are times when abstract words are desirable or even necessary; it would be difficult to write about math or programming without mentioning variables or functions, but you should use more specific terms whenever possible.
• Wordy and redundant phrases These phrases make your writing more difficult to understand. In most cases, they can be replaced with one or two words, or even deleted.
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• Adverbs They aren't bad in small quantities, but consider revising your document if more than 5.5% of its words are adverbs. Adverbs ending in "-ly" are considered the worst offenders.
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• Contractions In formal writing, the use of contractions is considered a fault.

The boxer decked his opponent.

• Profanity Profanity should not be used in formal writing outside of direct quotations.

The critic's scathing review hit the nail on the head .

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Her dress was long , and it touched the floor.

Her long dress touched the floor.

• Gender-specific pronouns Avoid using gender-specific pronouns in formal writing when the subject's gender is unknown.
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Hot peppers burn my mouth, but I eat them anyway .

Since burritos taste good , I like to eat them.

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What is the appropriate tone for a college essay?

It’s no secret that the college process can often feel like a numbers game. Depending on your relationship to standardized testing and numbered scores in general, this can be either a curse or a blessing. Regardless, if you’re hoping to apply to college, especially any colleges that accept the Common Application , chances are the college essay looms somewhere in your future.

In the same way that standardized testing might feel different for different people, whether or not the phrase “college essay” causes your stomach to drop from panic will depend upon your relationship and level of comfort with the written word. If you and the written word are already in a healthy long-term relationship, then you’re probably aware that one of the most important aspects of any piece of writing is tone. The right tone can allow your readers to understand you and your message even more—and the wrong tone, of course, can communicate an entirely different message than you might have intended. Luckily, CollegeVine is here to help. For tips and tricks on taking control of your tone in college essays, read on!

What is tone?

Tone is what helps us differentiate between “Yes, it’s totally fine! I understand and I’m not upset at all.” and “Yeah. It’s totally fine. I understand. I’m not upset at all .”

The dictionary defines tone as “ s tyle or manner of expression in speaking or writing. ” In verbal communication, we can interpret the tone of a conversation based on one’s intonation (the rise and fall of someone’s voice when they speak), body language, as well as other nonverbal cues.

In written communication, however, you obviously aren’t standing face to face with someone interpreting what they say. In lieu of these nonverbal cues, we use things like diction, punctuation, capitalization and sentence structure to add to our message. The context of a given piece is also very important—in this blog post, we’ll mostly be discussing tone in the context of a personal statement to be submitted to college admissions committees, but it is important to note that the different circumstances under which you are writing something will greatly impact the tone of your piece and the way in which it is perceived by your readers.

One of the most important aspects of tone in writing to discuss is the fact that small details can make a huge difference. Think about the example above:

“Yes, it’s totally fine! I understand and I’m not upset and all.”

“Yeah. It’s totally fine. I understand. I’m not upset at all .”

Visually, the two sentences are not all that different, and theoretically, they should be communicating the same message. While the first sentence is straightforward and sincere, the second sentence would likely be interpreted as passive aggressive. Notice the small details that cause the two sentences to communicate two entirely different things.

In considering tone, it might also help you to think about how you would respond to a text from a friend versus how you would respond to an email from your boss. The two would likely be very different because in one case you would be taking a casual tone, and in the other you would hopefully be taking a professional tone.

The Dos & Don’ts of Tone in your College Essay

There is no “perfect tone” for a college essay — given that it should be a reflection of your personality, it will be different for everyone. This being said, there are some tips and tricks that you can follow to make sure that your vibrant personality will shine through in your personal statement. -->

Keep it real —  One of the most important questions to keep in mind when considering tone in your college essay is: Is it true to who I am? Colleges want to get to know you and your personality through your essay. This means that the more unique and real you can make the tone of your college essay, the better. If you love to crack jokes, consider making a few ( tasteful ) jokes in your essay. If you’re more serious, take a more serious tone. If you’re sarcastic, try to include this (but be sure to be careful with this—run it by a few trusted readers first to make sure there’s absolutely no way that your words will be misinterpreted).

Flex your vocabulary knowledge — Your college essay is a great time to show adcoms your level of comfort with the english language, especially with higher-level vocab words. Watch out for the words in writing that typically fall flat or are overused — “good” can easily become “marvelous, wonderful, memorable, etc.” and  “said” can transform into “stated, yelled, remarked, explained…” When it’s appropriate, don’t shy away from using some of the SAT vocab words you’ve likely spent long nights memorizing!

Keep it grammatically correct — Always pay attention to grammar in your essay, even when making choices to benefit your tone. There is nothing worse than trying to be stylistically daring but ending up just making a grammatical error. Short sentences can be a really effective rhetorical tool, for example, but you should never have a sentence without a predicate. Make sure that you understand the proper usages of semicolons, em dashes and colons before you use them in your essay.

Be patient and have fun — Don’t be afraid to play around and experiment with the tone of your essay. Almost everyone’s essay will end up going through multiple different iterations and drafts. If something doesn’t feel quite right, don’t be afraid to start over or make whatever adjustments you need. Though it may feel daunting and confusing, ultimately your college essay is an exciting way for adcoms to get to know you and determine if you’ll be a good fit for their school.

Be overly formal — Taking an overly formal tone in your college essay will appear stiff and out of touch with modern language. Adcoms will likely think that this sort of tone comes from an applicant that is trying too hard to impress them, or hiding behind big words and complicated language to make themselves seem smarter.

Take a stylistic risk that sacrifices grammar — This is mentioned above, but we really can’t stress it enough. Pablo Picasso once said, “ Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.” While this is very much true in all forms of writing, messing up your grammar on a college essay demonstrates that you don’t even know all the rules in the first place. Be sure to exercise extreme caution when it comes to grammar!

Pump up your vocabulary artificially —  In the same way that athletes who use performance enhancing drugs usually get found out, college applicants who use performance enhancing software are pretty easy to spot. Admissions officers know when you’re simply clicking on words and phrases in Microsoft Word and exchanging them for a fancier-looking synonym. Don’t do this! Keep it natural. There’s nothing more transparent and off-putting than someone that finds it imperative to inflate every term in a given expression . After all, you don’t want to appear supercilious . A good rule of thumb for vocab in college essays is that if you wouldn’t use a given word in a conversation (even with a teacher or an an academic setting), then you probably shouldn’t use it in your essay.

Be too colloquial —  This may or may not go without saying, but you obviously shouldn’t get too casual in your essay. Avoid slang words, curse words, misspellings, or jargon that could be easily misunderstood.

Plagiarize —  This one should also go without saying, but we figure we may as well say it anyways. If you plagiarize, chances are that eventually you’ll be found out, and any admission that results from your plagiarized essay will be rescinded! Colleges want to hear your own original thoughts.

While there is no perfect way to write a college essay, hopefully these tips have shed some light onto the subject. When in doubt, remember that this little 650 word piece of writing should be a reflection of who you are as a person! Think about a sentence or two takeaway that you would want a reader to have after reading it and try to convey that throughout the essay. It may seem scary at first, but in the end, writing is a powerful skill that can enrich your life, and tone is a very powerful tool that can be used to your benefit.

For more information about college essays, check out the following blog posts:

Application Ethics: The Importance of Writing Your Own Personal Essay

Whom Should I Ask for Help with My College Essay?

How to Write the Common Application Essays 2017-2018

What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?

Want help with your college essays to improve your admissions chances? Sign up for your free CollegeVine account and get access to our essay guides and courses. You can also get your essay peer-reviewed and improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays.

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8 Tips to Make Your Writing Sound More Formal

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Here at ProofreadingPal , we get a lot of requests to “elevate tone,” “create a scholarly tone,” and “increase the formality,” and even “help this sound smart.” Truthfully, we cannot make you sound “smart.” There is no substitute for good ideas, but we can (and do) help you elevate your tone and make you sound like a bona fide professional-thinking person. Here are some handy tricks that you can use yourself.

• Avoid colloquial, informal words

I see a surprisingly high number of formal academic/business works that include words that are better left for the water cooler or over a spirited discussion of the merits of Michael Bay movies. Some words to avoid are “totally” (use “completely” instead), “basically” (just avoid it), “impact” (mostly as a verb. You shouldn’t say “that will impact me”), “wicked” (only use this when chatting in online games), and “cool” (this word can mean just about anything. Try to choose a more precise word). In general, avoid all slang words (e.g., rad, YOLO, heaps, guv). If in doubt, see if you could imagine your professor or boss using it. If not, avoid it.

• Proper use of “such as”

In formal writing, never use “like.” It’s probably the most commonly used feature of speech today for certain populations, but avoid it in formal writing. Compare:

Animals, like bears and tigers, are interesting. Animals, such as bears and tigers, are interesting.

See how much more formal the second sounds?

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• Avoid contractions

Contractions such as “can’t,” “didn’t,” and “I’m” are purely a product of verbal speech. We speak in contractions, but the convention is that, for formal, non-fiction writing, we shouldn’t write in them. When writing a formal business letter or an academic essay, forego contractions. It’s easy to use the Word FIND function to seek them out and destroy them.

• Avoid clichés

  Common Formality Mistakes

 This guide wouldn’t be complete without a look at some common practices that people use to make their writing more formal that don’t work. Here are a few practices we end up having to correct time and time again.

5. Don’t use passive voice . Passive voice is wordy, but being formal has nothing to do with wordiness.

• Don’t use thesaurus words you don’t fully understand. Big words don’t make your writing sound more formal, and this can backfire when you pick a word that doesn’t mean what you think it means. Take the sentence, “I saw a red dog walking down the street.” Easy, right? But using too much of a thesaurus might cause you to create: “I consulted a bloodshot mongrel marching down the highway,” which clearly is not what you intended.
• Don’t be wordy.

In all writing, wherever possible, brevity is the soul of wit. (Even I can’t avoid clichés, but at least that’s Shakespeare.) That means, always keep your prose as simple as possible . You may think, “The item that we are discussing could be the solution we are looking for to solve our problem,” sounds better because it’s long, but it’ll just annoy your reader. “That is the solution to our problem,” is better.

• Don’t mangle your sentences with third person.

Some professors still insist their students use third person to make their writing sound more formal, but (and always check with your professor first) style guides such as APA (and us) recommend you use first or second person to prevent passive voice and ambiguous language. Take: “The researcher applied a qualitative approach to the study” for example. Who is the researcher? You or someone else? This is ambiguous. It’s better to say, “I will take a qualitative approach to the study,” and this doesn’t sound any less formal.

Happy writing, and good luck.

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Posted on 26th January 2018

The Do’s and Don’ts of Writing in an Academic Tone

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When writing an essay, it is important to argue your points in a clear and concise way, and of course to try to sound intelligent as a speaker. Finding the right tone in your written voice is an essential part of writing, yet many students find it difficult to strike the right balance. It is easy to fall into the trap of writing in either too formal or too casual of a tone. Both extremes can make your argument sound ill-researched and weaken the strength of your essay. However, it is easy to avoid these issues, by taking care to use a direct and active tone in your writing.

Here are some Do’s and Don’ts that will help guide you to find the right voice in your writing and achieve a strong academic tone in your essays.

1. What is the point of an academic paper?

This may sound like a silly question, but many students fail to recognize the main point of essay writing—which is to put forth an argument! Understanding that your essay should make a claim, put forth a new idea or interpretation, or argue a set of points, will ultimately help you to write in a strong academic tone.

If you set out to put forth an argument, and then provide evidence to support it, rather than set out to sound as smart as possible, you will find that your writing sounds clearer. A direct tone and simple language is usually the best route!

2. Avoid writing in an overly formal tone

While this advice might sound counterintuitive, often students mistake formal for academic. You don’t need to make your papers sound like Shakespeare or the most esteemed professor wrote it! When you adopt an overly formal tone in your writing, the result is most often that you sound like you don’t know what you are talking about. Make sure that you use words whose meaning you understand, and sentence structure that makes sense—even if it appears simple.

For example, in a paper on climate change, an overly formal sentence might read:

“The staggering volume of synthetic organic compounds accumulating in large bodies of saline water has engendered a colossal moral quandary for behemoth manufacturers—should they continue the course, or innovate new methods?”

You don’t want to sound like this!

Instead, in clear and direct language, the following sentence means the same thing, but in a more readable way.

“The large volume of plastic waste that has accumulated in the Earth’s oceans has created a moral question for companies that produce large amounts of plastic materials—should they continue to produce plastic? Or phase into producing products that will degrade over time?”

As you can tell, the second sentence is in much plainer English, and sounds far more academic in tone than the first!

3. Avoid colloquialisms

Although it is important to avoid using too formal of a tone in your writing, you also want to be sure that you don’t use colloquialisms—informal words or phrases that are common in spoken English—in your writing. It is easy to avoid slang words, but students often struggle to rid less obvious colloquialisms from their writing.

Most often, these colloquialisms are words or phrases that we use in everyday language when we speak out loud or in informal text conversations. In spoken English and informal text conversations, these phrases are perfectly acceptable. But, you want to avoid them in your writing, because often they are placeholder words and phrases, that merely help to bridge together ideas that draw upon the context of the conversation.

For example, you might text a friend:

“I got tickets to that concert Friday night. You in?”

Here, the word “got” and “you in” are colloquialisms. They make sense in context, but in writing—where you must assume the reader will take what you say literally—it is not clear what you mean by this.

For example, how did you get the tickets? Did you buy them? Did someone give them to you?

While it might sound formal for a text conversation, in an academic tone this sentence would read “I bought tickets to attend that concert Friday night. I can give you a ticket if you want to attend with me.”

To avoid colloquialisms, it is usually a best practice to try to be as specific and direct about what you mean as possible.

4. Don’t use exaggeration or hyperbole

Sometimes when students intend to create emphasis or articulate the importance of a piece of evidence or point in an argument, they rely on exaggeration or hyperbole to try to convince the reader to agree with them. Don’t do this! Most often, hyperbolic phrases make your writing sound corny, and most importantly you must assume that your reader is taking everything you say literally and needs proof of every statement you make.

You might write in your paper on climate change:

“Plastic waste is now clogging the oceans, choking the life out of sea-creatures and threatening to end all ocean-life as we know it!”

This phrase is hyperbolic, and doesn’t actually point to any evidence to support the claim. A better phrased sentence might read:

“According to the Plastic Oceans Foundation, humans have dumped more than 8 million tons of plastic into ocean water each year for several years in a row. This plastic waste does not degrade, and clumps together—which creates large blocks in the ocean that hurt ocean-life.”

As you can see, in this sentence the cited facts do the work to emphasize the points, rather than hyperbole.

5. Avoid making generalizations

Another bad habit that students often have a hard time dropping is making generalizations in their essays. Usually, these generalizations come as a way to introduce material, or make an emotional appeal to the reader. It is important to avoid using generalizations in your essays because like hyperbolic phrases they sound corny, they are hard to prove, and often they don’t even really relate to your argument.

For example, in an essay that argues that the passage of the 19 th amendment failed to promote equality for all women, because racist Jim Crow laws prevented black women from also voting, you might say:

“On July 4th, 1776 the United States of America was born with the undertaking that all Americans should be created equal. Since then the U.S. has been working hard to achieve this promise and it moved one step closer after it passed the 19 th amendment, but not close enough.”

This introduction to the idea of equality reads as corny, and isn’t necessarily specific to the exact topic of the paper.

A better sentence might read:

“Although the passage of the 19 th amendment was a significant step for women’s rights in the US, at the time of its passage it did not actually achieve total voting equality for women, as black women were still largely prevented from voting.”

As you can see, this introduction is much more direct, and specific to the topic.

In order to avoid making generalizations in your paper, try to be as specific as possible, and avoid moving too far away from the topic at hand when you lead into your essay.

6. Don’t use personal pronouns or invoke the reader

In academic writing, it is important to maintain an academic distance from your essay. You want to avoid using personal pronouns because it makes your tone sound too personal, and less factual. You also want to avoid using phrases that will invoke the reader, because you cannot be sure of who your reader is.

For example, a professor of Economics might write a paper on how government spending after the 2008 Financial Crisis helped the economy to recover and publish it in a major Economics academic journal, and write:

“In the wake of the 2008 Financial collapse, our nation experienced a crisis which our government addressed first through a stimulus package.”

In this sentence, the phrases “our nation” and “our government” appeal to the reader as being the same as the writer. This is a problem because you cannot assume who your reader will be. In this example, economists from other countries might read this paper.

A better sentence would just replace “our” with “the United States,” to be more specific and more detached from the information.

Many students find it difficult to strike the right tone in their writing. However, that is no reason to fear writing your papers! As you can see from these suggestions, it is easy to cut out simple bad habits and write in an academic tone.

Academic papers also need citations! If you need to cite in MLA style , APA style , or another citation style, try BibMe.com!

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, how do i tell if my college essay is actually good.

I've revised my college essay like a million times by now, but I still can't shake the feeling of doubt. How can I gauge if it's actually hitting the mark and would impress an admissions officer? Does anyone have tips for self-assessment or do I just need to get more people to read it?

Hey there! Ah, the classic essay doubt—it's more common than you think. It's great that you've spent so much time revising your essay, which shows your dedication to making it shine. Self-assessment can indeed be tricky, but here's a little trick: after setting your essay aside for a day or two, read it out loud. This can help you catch any awkward phrases and ensure that the essay flows well.

Also, does your essay sound like you? Your unique voice should come through clearly, giving an admissions officer insight into who you are beyond grades and test scores. Another checkpoint is to ask yourself if your essay addresses the prompt effectively while also telling a compelling story. Are you showing rather than just telling? For example, rather than simply stating that you're passionate about environmental science, describe the time you spent a summer volunteering with a coastal cleanup and what you learned from the experience.

Lastly, having a few more sets of eyes on it can be very helpful. Teachers, counselors, or a friend who's a good writer could provide valuable feedback. Just make sure they understand you're looking for constructive criticism, not just affirmation. This combination of self-analysis and external opinions should give you a good sense on where your essay stands.

Check out CollegeVine's free Peer Essay Review tool, where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays: https://www.collegevine.com/essays/review

If you want some more professional assistance, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools: https://www.collegevine.com/experts/essay-review

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CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

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Typely does not do grammar checking because it's hard and almost impossible to get right. The aim for Typely is to be precise and reliable.

Frequently asked questions

What style and tone should i use for a college application essay.

College application essays are less formal than other kinds of academic writing . Use a conversational yet respectful tone , as if speaking with a teacher or mentor. Be vulnerable about your feelings, thoughts, and experiences to connect with the reader.

Aim to write in your authentic voice , with a style that sounds natural and genuine. You can be creative with your word choice, but don’t use elaborate vocabulary to impress admissions officers.

Frequently asked questions: College admissions essays

When writing your Common App essay , choose a prompt that sparks your interest and that you can connect to a unique personal story.

No matter which prompt you choose, admissions officers are more interested in your ability to demonstrate personal development , insight, or motivation for a certain area of study.

The Common App essay is your primary writing sample within the Common Application, a college application portal accepted by more than 900 schools. All your prospective schools that accept the Common App will read this essay to understand your character, background, and value as a potential student.

Since this essay is read by many colleges, avoid mentioning any college names or programs; instead, save tailored answers for the supplementary school-specific essays within the Common App.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding your message and content. Then, check for flow, tone, style , and clarity. Finally, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors .

If your college essay goes over the word count limit , cut any sentences with tangents or irrelevant details. Delete unnecessary words that clutter your essay.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

If you’ve got to write your college essay fast , don’t panic. First, set yourself deadlines: you should spend about 10% of your remaining time on brainstorming, 10% on outlining, 40% writing, 30% revising, and 10% taking breaks in between stages.

Second, brainstorm stories and values based on your essay prompt.

Third, outline your essay based on the montage or narrative essay structure .

Fourth, write specific, personal, and unique stories that would be hard for other students to replicate.

Fifth, revise your essay and make sure it’s clearly written.

Last, if possible, get feedback from an essay coach . Scribbr essay editors can help you revise your essay in 12 hours or less.

Avoid swearing in a college essay , since admissions officers’ opinions of profanity will vary. In some cases, it might be okay to use a vulgar word, such as in dialogue or quotes that make an important point in your essay. However, it’s safest to try to make the same point without swearing.

If you have bad grades on your transcript, you may want to use your college admissions essay to explain the challenging circumstances that led to them. Make sure to avoid dwelling on the negative aspects and highlight how you overcame the situation or learned an important lesson.

However, some college applications offer an additional information section where you can explain your bad grades, allowing you to choose another meaningful topic for your college essay.

Here’s a brief list of college essay topics that may be considered cliché:

• Extracurriculars, especially sports
• Role models
• Dealing with a personal tragedy or death in the family
• Struggling with new life situations (immigrant stories, moving homes, parents’ divorce)
• Becoming a better person after community service, traveling, or summer camp
• Overcoming a difficult class
• Using a common object as an extended metaphor

It’s easier to write a standout essay with a unique topic. However, it’s possible to make a common topic compelling with interesting story arcs, uncommon connections, and an advanced writing style.

Yes. The college application essay is less formal than other academic writing —though of course it’s not mandatory to use contractions in your essay.

In a college essay , you can be creative with your language . When writing about the past, you can use the present tense to make the reader feel as if they were there in the moment with you. But make sure to maintain consistency and when in doubt, default to the correct verb tense according to the time you’re writing about.

The college admissions essay gives admissions officers a different perspective on you beyond your academic achievements, test scores, and extracurriculars. It’s your chance to stand out from other applicants with similar academic profiles by telling a unique, personal, and specific story.

Use a standard font such as Times New Roman or Arial to avoid distracting the reader from your college essay’s content.

A college application essay is less formal than most academic writing . Instead of citing sources formally with in-text citations and a reference list, you can cite them informally in your text.

For example, “In her research paper on genetics, Quinn Roberts explores …”

There is no set number of paragraphs in a college admissions essay . College admissions essays can diverge from the traditional five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in English class. Just make sure to stay under the specified word count .

Most topics are acceptable for college essays if you can use them to demonstrate personal growth or a lesson learned. However, there are a few difficult topics for college essays that should be avoided. Avoid topics that are:

• Overly personal (e.g. graphic details of illness or injury, romantic or sexual relationships)
• Not personal enough (e.g. broad solutions to world problems, inspiring people or things)
• Too negative (e.g. an in-depth look at your flaws, put-downs of others, criticizing the need for a college essay)
• Too boring (e.g. a resume of your academic achievements and extracurriculars)
• Inappropriate for a college essay (e.g. illegal activities, offensive humor, false accounts of yourself, bragging about privilege)

To write an effective diversity essay , include vulnerable, authentic stories about your unique identity, background, or perspective. Provide insight into how your lived experience has influenced your outlook, activities, and goals. If relevant, you should also mention how your background has led you to apply for this university and why you’re a good fit.

Many universities believe a student body composed of different perspectives, beliefs, identities, and backgrounds will enhance the campus learning and community experience.

Admissions officers are interested in hearing about how your unique background, identity, beliefs, culture, or characteristics will enrich the campus community, which is why they assign a diversity essay .

In addition to your main college essay , some schools and scholarships may ask for a supplementary essay focused on an aspect of your identity or background. This is sometimes called a diversity essay .

You can use humor in a college essay , but carefully consider its purpose and use it wisely. An effective use of humor involves unexpected, keen observations of the everyday, or speaks to a deeper theme. Humor shouldn’t be the main focus of the essay, but rather a tool to improve your storytelling.

Get a second opinion from a teacher, counselor, or essay coach on whether your essay’s humor is appropriate.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

To decide on a good college essay topic , spend time thoughtfully answering brainstorming questions. If you still have trouble identifying topics, try the following two strategies:

• Identify your qualities → Brainstorm stories that demonstrate these qualities
• Identify memorable stories → Connect your qualities to these stories

You can also ask family, friends, or mentors to help you brainstorm topics, give feedback on your potential essay topics, or recall key stories that showcase your qualities.

Yes—admissions officers don’t expect everyone to have a totally unique college essay topic . But you must differentiate your essay from others by having a surprising story arc, an interesting insight, and/or an advanced writing style .

There are no foolproof college essay topics —whatever your topic, the key is to write about it effectively. However, a good topic

• Is meaningful, specific, and personal to you
• Focuses on you and your experiences
• Reveals something beyond your test scores, grades, and extracurriculars
• Is creative and original

Unlike a five-paragraph essay, your admissions essay should not end by summarizing the points you’ve already made. It’s better to be creative and aim for a strong final impression.

You should also avoid stating the obvious (for example, saying that you hope to be accepted).

There are a few strategies you can use for a memorable ending to your college essay :

• Return to the beginning with a “full circle” structure
• Reveal the main point or insight in your story
• Look to the future
• End on an action

The best technique will depend on your topic choice, essay outline, and writing style. You can write several endings using different techniques to see which works best.

College deadlines vary depending on the schools you’re applying to and your application plan:

• For early action applications and the first round of early decision applications, the deadline is on November 1 or 15. Decisions are released by mid-December.
• For the second round of early decision applications, the deadline is January 1 or 15. Decisions are released in January or February.
• Regular decision deadlines usually fall between late November and mid-March, and decisions are released in March or April.
• Rolling admission deadlines run from July to April, and decisions are released around four to eight weeks after submission.

Depending on your prospective schools’ requirements, you may need to submit scores for the SAT or ACT as part of your college application .

Some schools now no longer require students to submit test scores; however, you should still take the SAT or ACT and aim to get a high score to strengthen your application package.

Aim to take the SAT or ACT in the spring of your junior year to give yourself enough time to retake it in the fall of your senior year if necessary.

Apply early for federal student aid and application fee waivers. You can also look for scholarships from schools, corporations, and charitable foundations.

To maximize your options, you should aim to apply to about eight schools:

• Two reach schools that might be difficult to get into
• Four match schools that you have a good chance of getting into
• Two safety schools that you feel confident you’ll get into

The college admissions essay accounts for roughly 25% of the weight of your application .

At highly selective schools, there are four qualified candidates for every spot. While your academic achievements are important, your college admissions essay can help you stand out from other applicants with similar profiles.

In general, for your college application you will need to submit all of the following:

• Your personal information
• List of extracurriculars and awards
• College application essays
• Transcripts
• Standardized test scores
• Recommendation letters.

Different colleges may have specific requirements, so make sure you check exactly what’s expected in the application guidance.

You should start thinking about your college applications the summer before your junior year to give you sufficient time for college visits, taking standardized tests, applying for financial aid , writing essays, and collecting application material.

Yes, but make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt, respects the word count , and demonstrates the organization’s values.

If you plan ahead, you can save time by writing one scholarship essay for multiple prompts with similar questions. In a scholarship tracker spreadsheet, you can group or color-code overlapping essay prompts; then, write a single essay for multiple scholarships. Sometimes, you can even reuse or adapt your main college essay .

You can start applying for scholarships as early as your junior year. Continue applying throughout your senior year.

Invest time in applying for various scholarships , especially local ones with small dollar amounts, which are likely easier to win and more reflective of your background and interests. It will be easier for you to write an authentic and compelling essay if the scholarship topic is meaningful to you.

You can find scholarships through your school counselor, community network, or an internet search.

A scholarship essay requires you to demonstrate your values and qualities while answering the prompt’s specific question.

After researching the scholarship organization, identify a personal experience that embodies its values and exemplifies how you will be a successful student.

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

While timelines will differ depending on the student, plan on spending at least 1–3 weeks brainstorming and writing the first draft of your college admissions essay , and at least 2–4 weeks revising across multiple drafts. Don’t forget to save enough time for breaks between each writing and editing stage.

You should already begin thinking about your essay the summer before your senior year so that you have plenty of time to try out different topics and get feedback on what works.

Your college essay accounts for about 25% of your application’s weight. It may be the deciding factor in whether you’re accepted, especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurricular track records.

In most cases, quoting other people isn’t a good way to start your college essay . Admissions officers want to hear your thoughts about yourself, and quotes often don’t achieve that. Unless a quote truly adds something important to your essay that it otherwise wouldn’t have, you probably shouldn’t include it.

Cliché openers in a college essay introduction are usually general and applicable to many students and situations. Most successful introductions are specific: they only work for the unique essay that follows.

The key to a strong college essay introduction is not to give too much away. Try to start with a surprising statement or image that raises questions and compels the reader to find out more.

The introduction of your college essay is the first thing admissions officers will read and therefore your most important opportunity to stand out. An excellent introduction will keep admissions officers reading, allowing you to tell them what you want them to know.

You can speed up this process by shortening and smoothing your writing with a paraphrasing tool . After that, you can use the summarizer to shorten it even more.

If you’re struggling to reach the word count for your college essay, add vivid personal stories or share your feelings and insight to give your essay more depth and authenticity.

Most college application portals specify a word count range for your essay, and you should stay within 10% of the upper limit to write a developed and thoughtful essay.

You should aim to stay under the specified word count limit to show you can follow directions and write concisely. However, don’t write too little, as it may seem like you are unwilling or unable to write a detailed and insightful narrative about yourself.

If no word count is specified, we advise keeping your essay between 400 and 600 words.

In your application essay , admissions officers are looking for particular features : they want to see context on your background, positive traits that you could bring to campus, and examples of you demonstrating those qualities.

Colleges want to be able to differentiate students who seem similar on paper. In the college application essay , they’re looking for a way to understand each applicant’s unique personality and experiences.

You don’t need a title for your college admissions essay , but you can include one if you think it adds something important.

Your college essay’s format should be as simple as possible:

• Use a standard, readable font
• Use 1.5 or double spacing
• If attaching a file, save it as a PDF
• Stick to the word count
• Avoid unusual formatting and unnecessary decorative touches

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Campus visits are always helpful, but if you can’t make it in person, the college website will have plenty of information for you to explore. You should look through the course catalog and even reach out to current faculty with any questions about the school.

Colleges set a “Why this college?” essay because they want to see that you’ve done your research. You must prove that you know what makes the school unique and can connect that to your own personal goals and academic interests.

Depending on your writing, you may go through several rounds of revision . Make sure to put aside your essay for a little while after each editing stage to return with a fresh perspective.

Teachers and guidance counselors can help you check your language, tone, and content . Ask for their help at least one to two months before the submission deadline, as many other students will also want their help.

Friends and family are a good resource to check for authenticity. It’s best to seek help from family members with a strong writing or English educational background, or from older siblings and cousins who have been through the college admissions process.

If possible, get help from an essay coach or editor ; they’ll have specialized knowledge of college admissions essays and be able to give objective expert feedback.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

Include specific, personal details and use your authentic voice to shed a new perspective on a common human experience.

Through specific stories, you can weave your achievements and qualities into your essay so that it doesn’t seem like you’re bragging from a resume.

When writing about yourself , including difficult experiences or failures can be a great way to show vulnerability and authenticity, but be careful not to overshare, and focus on showing how you matured from the experience.

First, spend time reflecting on your core values and character . You can start with these questions:

• What are three words your friends or family would use to describe you, and why would they choose them?
• Whom do you admire most and why?
• What are you most proud of? Ashamed of?

However, you should do a comprehensive brainstorming session to fully understand your values. Also consider how your values and goals match your prospective university’s program and culture. Then, brainstorm stories that illustrate the fit between the two.

In a college application essay , you can occasionally bend grammatical rules if doing so adds value to the storytelling process and the essay maintains clarity.

However, use standard language rules if your stylistic choices would otherwise distract the reader from your overall narrative or could be easily interpreted as unintentional errors.

Write concisely and use the active voice to maintain a quick pace throughout your essay and make sure it’s the right length . Avoid adding definitions unless they provide necessary explanation.

Use first-person “I” statements to speak from your perspective . Use appropriate word choices that show off your vocabulary but don’t sound like you used a thesaurus. Avoid using idioms or cliché expressions by rewriting them in a creative, original way.

If you’re an international student applying to a US college and you’re comfortable using American idioms or cultural references , you can. But instead of potentially using them incorrectly, don’t be afraid to write in detail about yourself within your own culture.

Provide context for any words, customs, or places that an American admissions officer might be unfamiliar with.

Admissions officers use college admissions essays to evaluate your character, writing skills , and ability to self-reflect . The essay is your chance to show what you will add to the academic community.

The college essay may be the deciding factor in your application , especially for competitive schools where most applicants have exceptional grades, test scores, and extracurriculars.

Some colleges also require supplemental essays about specific topics, such as why you chose that specific college . Scholarship essays are often required to obtain financial aid .

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14 Grammar Tips to Make Your Writing Sound Smart

Zara Altair

Grammar Matters

Good grammar clarifies, 14 quick grammar tips, begin with good grammar.

Have you ever read a blog article or book with information you wanted to know, and it was almost impossible to read because the writer wanted to impress you with their intelligence?

That article or book was about them, not the subject matter. The author was trying to impress you with how smart they are. They used long words, technical terms without explanation, or worse, yet, words they made up so you could be an “insider.” They wrote long, complicated sentences. It wasn’t an informative read, and you probably didn’t finish it.

Don’t be that writer.

If you want to sound smart in your writing, be clear with your audience. Clarity is key to helping readers understand your text. Good grammar makes your sentences easy to understand. No matter how sophisticated your idea is, present it with clarity.

When you want to sound smart, using good grammar is important . Like common sense, grammar helps your reader understand without being baffled. When each sentence makes sense, it’s easy for your reader to understand your meaning.

From word choice to punctuation to citations, show your smarts by writing it right.

Tip 1: Alumnus

If you went to school but didn’t study Latin, referring to your fellow graduates can be tricky. You need to define whether they are masculine or feminine, and numbers count. One guy is an alumnus . One gal is an alumna . Many woman graduates are alumnae. And many men graduates are alumni . Following the Latin, men and women, all of them, are also alumni .

Tip 2: Affect and Effect

Affect is usually a verb that denotes making a change. Music affects my mood.

Effect is usually a noun naming the change. Newton’s third law of motion teaches that every action results in an equal and opposite effect.

But it’s not that simple. Affect also serves as a noun describing a person’s demeanor. Joe’s affect brightened after two cups of coffee.

And effect serves as a verb to make a change. My homeowner association voted to effect changes to parking access.

Tip 3: Compliment and Complement

The noun compliment denotes an act of giving praise. As a verb, compliment represents the act of giving praise: Jake complimented Agnes on her superb use of grammar.

As a noun or verb, complement implies completion:

• Her new bookcase complements her collection of reference books.
• The cider was the perfect complement to the Basque rabbit stew.

Tip 4: Example and Reference: e.g. or i.e.

These two abbreviations stand for Latin phrases. Use e.g. when referring to examples. The abbreviation represents the Latin exempli gratia , which means for example . Follow it with examples illustrating the previous statement: Various dog breeds are known for hip problems, especially large dogs, e.g. bulldogs, mastiffs, and retrievers.

When you want to restate a phrase, i.e. is Latin for that is , id est . Use it to restate or clarify: If your foundation has white marks, you may be in danger of structure settlement, i.e. a water-damaged foundation.

Tip 5: Further and Farther

These two are sometimes interchangeable, and sometimes your ear will guide your usage. There’s a grammatical adage to use farther for physical distance and further for figurative distance.

Modern speech prefers further as a verb. She took no prisoners with her cohorts to further her career. And it is the choice when used as an adverb to mean additionally. Further, I’d like to address the current invoicing procedures. As an adverb, further is also the modern choice. Since there were no further complaints, the detectives pursued their current criminal cases.

Tip 6: Quotation Marks or Italics for Titles

When you want to appear smarter, citing references is probably one step to verify your proposition. Italics and quotation marks set off your reference in a sentence, so your reader understands you are referring to a document. Use italics for longer works:

• Full-length plays
• Music albums
• Anything that has sections, like anthologies or collections
• Television and radio shows
• Ships (but the USS or HMS is not italicized)
• Spacecrafts
• Some scientific names
• Court cases
• Works of art
• Musical works like operas and musicals
• Computer and video games

Use quotation marks to set off:

• Short works like a poem or song
• Sections of longer works
• Episodes or scenes of a television show

And, sometimes you use neither:

• Constitutional documents
• Legal documents
• Traditional games (hopscotch, leapfrog)
• Commercial products (Cheerios)

Tip 7: Abbreviations

Don’t make your readers guess the meaning of an abbreviation. First, introduce what the abbreviation stands for before using it repeatedly in your text. You’ll help your reader understand the context. For example, Department of Aging or dead on arrival can both be abbreviated as DOA .

Your first use should include the entire phrase followed by the abbreviation or acronym: Home inspectors follow the Standard of Practice outlined by the American Society of Home Inspectors (ASHI).

ProWritingAid’s Acronym Report will tell you if you haven’t introduced an acronym, if you’ve introduced it multiple times, or if you’ve punctuated it in several different ways.

Tip 8: Dashes and Hyphens

Use hyphens to join words together: broken-hearted , four-fifths , brother-in-law .

A dash, also called an em-dash or m-dash, separates parts of a sentence. Use the dash to set off a clause in a sentence when the parts of the sentence that precede and follow the clause make sense without the “extra” clause.

If I told him once, I told him a thousand times—he should have known by now—to put the dirty clothes in the laundry hamper.

And you can use the dash in place of a colon, especially for emphasis.

His living room was filled with evidence of his fitness craze—barbells, an exercise bike, and a rowing machine.

Tip 9: Use Antecedents

Antecedents are a word, phrase, clause, or sentence to which another word (especially a following relative pronoun) refers. When you use pronouns like it , this , and that or even he , she , or they , you need a reference noun before them. Otherwise, your reader may wonder which report or who she is. Clear it up before you use the pronoun.

According to the K-lytics report on Christmas mysteries, authors heavily advertise in order to make money on low-priced books. This report highlights the seasonal popularity of those mysteries.

Tip 10: Who and Whom

Who is doing what to whom? That question sums it up.

Who is the subject in the sentence, the one that takes action. Whom is the object of the sentence, the one who receives the action.

• It was Jenna who said it.
• She saw the man with whom she had flirted wildly last Friday night.

Tip 11: No One Is Ever That

As a corollary, do not use that to refer to a person. They are not a thing. Use who or whom . It’s not the first man that walked on the moon . It’s the first man who walked on the moon . Enough said.

Tip 12: The Colon

A colon is used two ways: to make lists and to tell what you mean. When you use a colon, do not capitalize the first word after the colon.

You can use a colon to add a list to a sentence.

Novelists add the five senses to bring a scene to life: taste, touch, sight, smell, and hearing.

Colons can also be used to separate independent clauses when the second clause/sentence illustrates, explains, paraphrases, or expands on the first.

Jim realized his worst fear was coming true: his family would be homeless when they were evicted tomorrow.

Finally, you can use a colon to follow a salutation in a business or formal letter.

To the Tri-Valley Committee Chairman:

Tip 13: The Semicolon

Use a semicolon to separate two ideas (independent clauses) that are closely related.

Jane thought May was inviting her to a girls night in; it turned out, Mary was planning a surprise birthday party.

Also, use semicolons in a list when the list items contain commas.

Dave’s best high school buddies now lived far away: Tempe, Arizona; Union, New Jersey; Galveston, Texas; and Seattle, Washington.

Tip 14: Commas

Commas are the most frequently used, and misused, punctuation mark. When in doubt, look up your use. But here are four crucial guidelines to tame your comma use.

Use commas to separate items in a short list: Mary bought party favors, silly hats, and noisemakers for everyone at the surprise party.

Use a comma to separate two long independent clauses connected by a conjunction: Children labor over grammar rules in school, but they forget them later in life.

Use commas to set apart a parenthetical phrase (see em-dash in Tip 8 above): Your SEO practitioner, if he cares about your business, will tell you it may take months to gain organic traffic.

Use a comma after an informal introductory phrase: Dear John,

Good grammar helps your reader understand your concept. And, when you want to convey concepts, you also need to keep your syntax and vocabulary succinct. You’ll keep your reader from being confused.

In The Sense of Style , Steven Pinker said:

The key is to assume that your readers are as intelligent and sophisticated as you are, but that they happen not to know something you know.

Now, go share what you know.

Take your writing to the next level:

20 Editing Tips From Professional Writers

Whether you are writing a novel, essay, article, or email, good writing is an essential part of communicating your ideas., this guide contains the 20 most important writing tips and techniques from a wide range of professional writers..

Be confident about grammar

Check every email, essay, or story for grammar mistakes. Fix them before you press send.

Zara Altair writes traditional mysteries set in ancient Italy under Ostrogoths rule in The Argolicus Mysteries. She teaches mystery screenwriters and novelists at Write A Killer Mystery. She creates semantic web content for a select clientele.

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Tone Checker

Detect the tone of a given sentence or document.

Automatically identify the tone of a piece of text. More than 25 different tones detected, including joy, confusion, gratitude, and neutral.

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Using this Tool

Tone detection or tone checking is the task where given some text, the tone detector predicts the tones present in that text—for example, joy or fear.

Type the sentence you would like in the input box above, then click the Detect button to detect the overall tone as well as the tone for each sentence.

Want to integrate this into your own application? Contact us regarding Sapling's API and SDK.

Why Your Writing Sounds Weird (And What You Can Do About It)

by Joe Bunting | 23 comments

Sentence structure matters, no matter who you are.

You might be a student trying to get a passing grade on an essay, a guy trying to text to a smart girl without humiliating yourself, an employee writing a company-wide memo, or a writer working on your next book. When sentence structure gets out of whack, there can be consequences (no passing grade, no first date, no raise, no publishing contract, no bueno ).

Photo by Nawal Al-Mashouq (Creative Commons)

Bad Sentence Structure Makes for Weird Sounding Sentences

When you write, you use a different part of the brain than when you speak. That's why writing can be so hard for many of us, myself included. You might communicate perfectly when you talk, but when you write, you stare at the screen for fifteen minutes trying to figure out what to say.

Many people especially struggle with sentence structure. Most of us are taught sentence structure in the third and fourth grade, but we usually forget it just as quickly.

Who really needs to know what a subject and predicate is or why you shouldn't use comma splices?

Who needs to know?  You do! That is, if you don't want to your writing to sound ridiculous. If you don't structure your sentences correctly, your writing will sound strange, like there's something “off” about it. This might not matter in a text message to your friends, but it could definitely matter when you're writing that essay for English class or sending an important email for work.

Here's the point: Smart people use correct sentence structure. ( Tweet that ?)

Sentence Structure Basics: Subject and Predicate

To begin, let's talk about the basics of sentence structure. If you're serious about sentence structure, you probably already know what a subject and predicate is. For everyone else, here are the simple definitions:

Subject.  The subject is what the sentence is about. For example:  John drove his car off the bridge. Is John crazy?

Predicate . The predicate is what the subject is up to. In other words, the predicate “completes an idea about the subject,” according to Wikipedia . For example:  John got out of the ruined car , and he laughed uproariously .  A subject almost always includes a noun (there are some exceptions), but a predicate must include a verb.

Sometimes, a subject isn't included in the sentence but just implied. For example,  Don't  drive off bridges!  Here, there is no subject, but it's implied by the context.

For more complex explanations, use the following links ( subject , predicate ).

The 4 Types of Sentences

When you put a subject and a predicate together, you get a clause ! (Yes, like Santa.) The fun thing is you can combine clauses together to form different types of sentences.

Good writers vary the types of sentences they use. For example, don't use too many simple sentences. You might sound childish. However, if you use too many compound-complex sentences, your writing might be too difficult to understand.

Here are the four types of sentences:

Simple Sentences

Simple sentences contain a single clause (i.e. one subject, one predicate). Here are a few examples:

• John had broken his toe.
• John shouted in pain.
• John was very stupid.

Compound Sentences

Compound sentences contain two independent clauses (independent because they could be their own sentences) which are joined together with a coordinating conjunction (i.e. and, but, or, so). Here are a few examples:

• I didn't know why John drove off the bridge, but Mark did.
• I asked him why, but he wouldn't tell me.
• I stopped asking, but I still wondered.

Complex Sentences

Complex sentences contain one independent clause and one or more dependent clauses (dependent because they couldn't be their own sentence) which are joined together by a subordinating conjunction (e.g. that, because, if, etc.*)

• Everything changed when John drove off the bridge.
• Whenever I drove across that bridge, I would think about driving off, too.
• Even though I would never do it, I thought about it all the time.

*Here's a full list of subordinating conjunctions .

Compound-Complex Sentences

Compound-complex sentences contain at least two independent clauses and one dependent clauses. Here's a long compound-complex example:

Sometimes, when I drove over the bridge, my hand would start to turn the steering wheel toward the edge, but I would quickly stop myself because even I didn't want to die.

When Sentence Structure Goes Wrong

You've seen how sentences are supposed to look, but what happens when sentences go wrong? And how can you avoid sounding like an idiot by structuring a sentence incorrectly? Here are four common ways sentence structure goes wrong:

1. Comma Splices

What if you decided to take two sentences and join them with a comma instead of a period? (Or, for the grammarphiles, what if you joined two independent clauses with a comma but left out the subordinating conjunction?)

Well, you would have a comma splice, and  comma splices  are bad.

Here's an example of a comma splice:

John broke his toe, he shouted in pain.

See what I mean? Don't do that.

Instead, just put in a conjunction (and, but, or, so) or replace the comma with a period.

John broke his toe, and he shouted in pain.

John broke his toe. He shouted in pain

Isn't that better?

2. Fragments

A fragment is an incomplete sentence. It might have a subject. It might have a predicate. It never has both.

Here are a few examples:

• John broke his toe. And shouted in pain.  (no subject)
• Everything changed. When John drove off the bridge.

Fragments are against the rules, but in certain situations, they can be used effectively as a stylistic choice. However, unless you know what you're doing, it's a good idea to avoid them.

3. Run-on sentences

A run-on sentence is kind of like a comma splice except you take out the comma. Here's what I mean:

John broke his toe he shouted in pain.

Run-on sentences are bad. Put a period in between those clauses!

Why You Should Care About Sentence Structure?

You probably aren't going to diagram every sentence from now on. However, by becoming familiar with correct sentence structure, you will  become a better writer, and becoming a better writer could help you pass your next class, get a job, and avoid humiliation on Facebook. It sounds like a good choice to me!

Write a story about a guy who drove off a bridge. In your story, use at least one example of each of the four types of sentences we talked about above. Avoid the sentence-structure pitfalls.

Write for fifteen minutes. When you finish, post your practice in the comments section. And if you post, be sure to leave feedback for your fellow writers.

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

23 Comments

I once knew this guy named John. He was a real show-off; he’d do all kinds of stupid things to attract attention. Some of John’s stunts weren’t very funny. You could say John acted like a jerk at times and you’d be right.

However, John’s mother and father doted on their only child even though he didn’t always use every corner of his brain on all occasions. Can you guess what they did? John’s parents bought their darling son a car. They gave it to him for his eighteenth birthday, hoping it might teach John some responsibility, but they were in for a major disappointment.

As I said, John can be a real show-off, so one day he decides to try flying over the Stone Creek Bridge and then taking the sharp right turn at the other side on two wheels. He tried this stunt after a few drinks and a day of rain. He failed to take into account the fact that the pavement might be a mite slippery, furthermore, a passing farm tractor had left some mud on other side, which greased the road nicely.

Can you imagine? John goes flying over the bridge all right and took the turn as planned, but when his wheels hit that mud his car started doing a figure 8. The last thing it did was to slip off the road and down the bank into the creek, making a nice splash for effect as it hit the water and sank.

John was lucky; the creek water was low right then. He managed to open the side window and climb out onto the roof, then he jumped into the water and waded to shore. And wouldn’t you know it? The first one to come along and give him a ride home was the preacher at his parents’ church.

John’s father told him that after this stunt there was no way he was going to co-sign a loan so John could get another car, so he’d just have to buckle down and work until he’d earned enough money to buy one himself. And since John’s uncle was the loans manager at our local bank, it was several years later before John got his second car.

Very witty and entertaining. I especially liked the line: “One evening he decides to try flying over the Stone Creek Bridge.” Keep up the good work! : )

My best bud was called John. He loved to make lots of jokes, because he liked to make people smile. The moment anyone met John, they became friends instantaneously. You could say he was the best. But one day that all changed. I was home, waiting for Josh to come over. I had invited him to come over for a beer. I sat on the couch, watching today’s hockey match. Waiting for the familiar beeping of his truck, and the slam of the door. I heard somebody knocking on my door, and I rushed to it, thinking Josh had arrived. But when I opened it, I found a burly police officer in uniform. I felt my heart squeeze. Why was he here?

“May I come in?, I need to talk to you.” Asked the burly police officer somberly. “Make yourself at home.” I told him, stepping back to let him in. The police officer walked in and sat at the dinning table. He motioned me to sit across him. I walked nervously towards the chair and sat, turning to face the officers eyes.

“What is this about?” I asked him, feeling a pit open in my stomach. I felt something wasn’t right. “Its about your friend, Josh.” The police officer answered slowly and gravely. I felt dread rise up inside of me. What was going on? What happened to Josh? Is he safe? I was about to ask all those questions before he raised his hand. “His car slid off the bridge and crashed. The bridge was covered in too much ice.” The officer said as a tear rolled down his cheek. “Josh is… gone.” I felt my heart sink, along with all my hopes. Josh, gone forever? I couldn’t believe it. I could not accept this hideous reality. It was as if somebody telling a little kid Santa was made up. Tears rolled down my cheeks freely. I hated myself for crying, but I couldn’t stop myself. The officer put his hand on my shoulder, as if trying to comfort me. And so I lay there, crying as the officer held my shoulder. I cried for a long time.

You’re story is good but I think you need to add some longer sentences. Most of yours are about the same length, quite short. “Make yourself at home” sounds too off-hand, not like what you’d say to a police officer standing at your door looking grave.

Ahh, thanks for catching that mistake/error. I winged it more or less, But thank you for your feedback! it helps :3

I have a bad habit of making my sentences overly complex. I’ve never really thought about different types of sentence structure, but here goes nothing. ~~~ I was six when John drove off the bridge. He did it exactly two days after he stabbed his best friend Niko to death, and about six hours after he woke up from one of the supervisors smashing him in the head with his baseball bat. I remember the way he looked then, the back of his head painted and stiff with dry blood, and I remember the scream when he saw Niko. I mostly remember the empty, dead look in his eyes as he just sat in the corner of the Orphanage lobby for hours. He didn’t eat, and no one tried to make him; it meant more for everyone else. The meaning of ‘selfless’ was lost on the lost, beaten children of the foster house. I watched him. I thought about asking him why he had stabbed Niko like that, but I was scared– what if he stabbed me, too? When he disappeared, no one called the authorities; I think they were relieved that he was gone. But the Miss got a call from the police saying that one of her ‘children’ had stolen a car, and then later that he had driven it off of the Bade Bridge. Turns out he didn’t die, but he’s paralyzed for life. I almost envied him– at least he got out of this stinking place that had the audacity to call itself a foster home. It didn’t foster anybody; it only broke them. Broke them and beat them and left them for dead. Now, seven years later, I still remember, and I still wonder why he did it. My naivety gone, I wonder if he was high when he stabbed him, and then was so distraught when he woke that death was welcome. Well, death was welcomed by many people in this house, whether they stabbed their best friend to death or not. I stared up at the ceiling of the bedroom, and listened to the breathing of the ten or so other girls that slept. Moonlight stuttered through the grimy window that I slept beneath, and I lifted up my arm, inspecting the newest of a multitude of injuries. It had been three days since the guard had slashed open the soft skin on the bottom of my forearm for staying out past curfew– it wasn’t because he really cared that I’d stayed out late that he cut me, but because he was looking for an excuse to hurt someone. I could see it in his eyes when I walked inside. It was deep and long, and it was throbbing in a worrisome manner. If I squinted at it it looked like it might be swelling, too. I gnawed on my lip and cast by gaze around the room and sighed. I stood up. I was going to go steal a car.

I have to admit, there’s almost nothing more annoying than reading a book that has sentences such as the dreaded: “He jumped off a cliff, screamed.” “She picked up a hammer, threw it.” The only thing that bothers me more is “Tears streamed down his face. He was obviously sad.” Sorry, had to vent. : )

ya big turkey

Cruz your a big turkey

george is a big turkey

David is a big turkey

david im watching you yeah big turkey

you big chicken

remi you big turkey

i like turkeys ;)))))

the guy who drove off the bridge is a big turkey

got eeeemmmm

yeah big turkey

Have any tips on how to reduce the conjunction “and” in writing? It’s seriously annoying me and I feel that taking a few out would help with the rhythm and structure.

Before mentioned sentence structure since the inceptions making the ideal thoughts in improving as well as processing the bets part for all. it does not seem unreasonable to suggest that the entire way out is making the movements professional plus precise from the beginning.

I woke up screaming, in the middle of the night. I had a nightmare about my brother John, driving his car off the side of the road on ole’ man cliff. John and I we’re very close even though we we’re 12 years apart in age.

I can’t believe that his funeral is tomorrow. Who am I going to talk to about my boy problems? I can’t talk to my mother, she doesn’t believe in dating at my age.

I get up out of the bed to go and get some water. I hear noise coming from my mother’s room. I go in and check on her. She is tossing and turning, she must be having a bad dream as well. I walk in and place my Hand on her and whisper in her ear. Momma, “Everything is going to be alright. ” I kiss her forehead, walk out, and close the door. Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day for the both of us.

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