college essays about teaching

•   Wednesday, April 10, 2024

Future Educators

Helping America's Future Teachers

I Want to Become a Teacher Because | My Dream Job Essay

My dream is to become a teacher . If you have this dream, you’re not alone. Here’s a collection of short essays by aspiring teachers. Current and future education students were asked to describe their motivation; what inspires them to succeed at their teacher training studies.

In these 31 student essays, future educators answer the question “I want to become a teacher because …” or “I want to become a teacher to …”. The short student essays are grouped thematically, forming the top reasons to become a teacher.

1. Giving Brings Its Own Rewards

Helping people is the unifying theme as to why students are inspired and motivated to become teachers. Education is a field where you can help young people directly in a personal way; potentially changing their lives for the better. Teaching is more than just a job.

For a significant percentage of education students, the opportunity to be of service provides plenty of motivation to pursue a teaching career. In each Why I Want to Become a Teacher essay here, a future educator explains why teaching is an opportunity to do something meaningful and beneficial.

by Hanna Halliar

If I can make an impact in just one child’s life, I will be able to consider myself successful. That is my motivation. As a future educator, what else would it be?

Every day that is spent in class, the late nights at the library, the endless hours of studying are all just steps getting me closer to the goal. When I am still up at 1 a.m. struggling to keep my eyes open, but only half way through my 6 page paper I remember how excited I am to work with my own students one day.

To me, being a teacher is so much more than the typical response most people have towards education majors. “Oh, you’re going to be a teacher. You know how much you will make?” Yes, I’m aware that I will be making an average of $50,000 a year in Indiana.

To me being a teacher means that I get the opportunity to not only teach my students math, English, and science but to teach life lessons that will stick with them as well.  It means walking into school every day being the reason my students look forward to coming to school. It means being surrounded by crafts, books, and music and not being stuck in an office. It means educating our future generation. And if somebody has to do it, it should be somebody who is passionate about it.

So what motivates me to study? It is so simple, it is the kids.

by Savannah Stamates

I lay awake at night and practice my first morning message to my first round of students whom I will not meet for more than a year.

I wonder if I will have hungry children, happy children, or broken children. I wonder if I will be good enough or strong enough to reach those most in need.  I wonder if my students will trust me enough to tell me that they are hungry, happy, or scared.

I worry that I will not be strong enough to share their burden or provide a place for peace and learning. I worry that I will misread their actions or their words or miss them reaching out.

So I study, even when I am tired from working two jobs or sick of not being where I want to be. When my time comes to walk into that classroom, my worries and doubts will be silenced by the knowledge I have mastered and the dream I have finally achieved.

by Charity Latchman

Dreams for the future are subjective. They can be based on what we desire. But visionary dreams are not only for us. Imagine asking some of the greatest revolutionaries and pioneers about their dreams. They generally had others in mind. In the famous “I have a Dream” speech, Civil Rights leader Martin Luther King Jr said “we” more than thirty times. Dreams are not for our benefit alone, but to encourage, inspire and benefit others.

Recently I graduated from California Baptist University with a degree in English literature. During my studies, I was cared for my disabled mother. She was a religious studies professor who inculcated me with a diligent and steadfast approach to schoolwork. Managing the role of caregiver with university studies was challenging. But the goal to become a teacher kept me going. Approaching graduation, my mother was diagnosed with throat cancer. She didn’t worry about herself as much as you might expect but kept pushing me to finish the final paper in the program.

With her encouragement, my faith, and a burning desire to teach English literature, I graduated. My motivation comes from wanting to help, to encourage, and to inspire others.  Teaching is an act of giving that has its own rewards.  Life’s trials bring ups and downs. But we must always strive to attain our dreams, especially when others are central to them.

by Katheryn England

As a high school senior, many people assume I’m prepared for college and know what I want to study after graduation. These assumptions cause me to experience moments of self-doubt. Then I re-evaluate what I want for myself, and what it is that keeps me working towards my dreams. Through the goals I’ve set for myself, I can maintain focus, move past my self-doubt and succeed. By focusing on my goals, I can make a difference in the world directly around me.

A goal I have in my life is to be an elementary teacher, also known as an early childhood teacher. As a teacher,  I can share the knowledge I’ve gained to leave behind a better future for our world .

Last year, I had the opportunity to work alongside a previous elementary teacher and mentor of mine. I’d visit her classroom daily, and taught lessons alongside her or independently. Uniquely, they were the opening act in my high school’s original winter play. They read first-hand from our scripts and learned what happens behind the scenes. Showing a new part of the world to the youth of my community has motivated me to pursue my dreams.

Remembering this experience and the positive influence I had on those students helps me overcome self-doubt and stay focused on my goals. Thanks to the goals I’ve set for my life, I not only can find purpose for my efforts, but find the will to be confident in whatever choices I make.

by Emma Lillard-Geiser

I have always known that I would become two things: a mother and a teacher. What I didn’t know is that I would become the mother before the teacher. Having a child that depends on me is what fuels my desire to succeed in life. When I get frustrated with my studies I take a deep breath, look at my daughter, and know that I have reason to persevere. I know that one hour of studying will give me hours with my daughter as soon as I am done.

My mother is a teacher and growing up I cherished learning from her. She had knowledge that I admired and I quickly realized that I had to spend my whole life learning. I love to learn, to have that light go off in my head when it all just clicks.

I cannot wait to see that light in the eyes of my daughter and my future students.  For every thing that I learn, is another thing I can teach someone else.  It isn’t easy to study when you have a small child to take care of but I know that my education will provide me with the ability to take care of her for the rest of our lives.

2. Help Disadvantaged Students

Students are disadvantaged for many reasons, whether it’s because of a handicap, where they live, economic disadvantage or a language barrier.

Future educators may want to become teachers so they can make a difference in the lives of students who face extra learning challenges. This special interest often comes from the future teacher’s own experience, either personally or involving people they’ve known.

by Ian T Thomason

While attending the University of Minnesota-Mankato, I have aspirations of becoming a Special Education Teacher. Becoming a Special Education Teacher and helping students who have a need for extra help and students who are having troubles with everyday life are things that I dream of doing.  I was in their shoes once and know how difficult it is to deal with everyday life and how nice it was have a teacher to talk to.

Becoming a Special Education Teacher is my ultimate goal and, when difficult times arise, I have to remind myself of the children out there who have it potentially worse than I. When I remember this, I also think back to all of the support that I had from my parents, family members, and teachers. I also know that there are lots of children who don’t have this type of support and, if I can be there for them, that would make my career choice all the more worth it.

My Special Education degree is something more than just a degree for me. It is a degree that allows me to help children improve their education. I realize that children are our future and that their minds are terrible things to waste. So, instead of wasting their minds, why not put our best foot forward to educate them? My dream is to help kids realize their full potential, promote education and a brighter future for every child.

by Katherine

Motivation allows you to persist through difficult circumstances. Mine comes from a desire to grow into an instructor who is able to make a difference to many children’s lives.

In elementary school, I actually was a special education student. I’ve had to work hard most days of my life to achieve anything. I could not have succeeded without the support of some absolutely amazing teachers. Now I desire to take on that supporting role for as many students as I can reach.

When a class or an assignment I don’t want to do come up, I think of what motivates me. And the motivation is children. Many students feel powerless about their education, just like I did.  I could be a teacher who turns their education around, providing vital support and motivation to succeed at their studies.  Ultimately, everyone motivates themselves by one way or another. My motivation comes from the pure desire to help future students.

by Robbie Watson

My road to graduate school has been a long one. I studied religion and culture in undergrad, interested in the material, yet not sure how I would apply it later. Yet I found places, got involved in community and international development, engaged with different cultures, and now feel I use my degree every day.

For over two years I worked alongside Congolese refugees in Rwanda, developing educational opportunities for youths who could not finish secondary school in the underfunded camps. It is these refugees, young and old, the students, the teachers, their passion and vision for a better future that has driven me to seek out more education for myself. I remember how they would pay from their families’ meager funds to attend classes led by volunteer teachers. When finances were against them, or time, or family obligations, or the dire depression of the camp life itself, or even government officials were against them, still those students attended, still those teachers taught.

It is their example of perseverance towards a goal against all odds that inspires me now. I think of them often, think of the friends they were, are still. And I think of how that passion is in me now, to better understand education so that I might better educate, and thus equip such downtrodden communities to work for transformation themselves. I work not only for myself, and am motivated by the potential in those students and educators, which is also in me, and in others like them.

by Natalie Pelayo

I’m a young Latino woman working towards the goal of earning a bachelor degree in bilingual education. On occasions, I feel a slowing in my motivation. But, every time it happens, I think about the goal and that pushes me to move forward.

Looking back to a middle school class I attended, there was a boy who never really participated. He sat in his hoodie, looking down to his desk. Only after trying to talk with him, I discovered he spoke with broken English and a thick Spanish accent. It seemed as if no-one in our class actually knew that he struggled to understand what was being taught because it was presented in English.

By his manner, it was apparent that he had already accepted a dismal fate. Past teachers may have been unable to communicate with him. Eventually, he’d become demoralized.  Thinking about the disadvantages he had to endure provides ongoing motivation to study hard.

I aim to become a bilingual elementary school teacher to support young Spanish-speaking children. As a teacher, I’ll be able to show them that they can succeed. Children need not grow up thinking they’re incapable of learning due to a language barrier. I’ll keep working towards my goal to help ensure teaching is inclusive of all children, no matter their first language.

by Abigail Young

I am an American citizen, but my whole life I have lived in Cameroon, Africa. I have been blessed with an enormous amount of opportunities and a great education at a private international school.

Every day I have seen children and teenagers around me who do not get the same education or have the same possibilities of a “bright” future. I see schools that are forced to have three children share a small table, paper, and pens. I have seen a badly lit room with poor roofs and walls made from bricks. Even in my school there are numerous Cameroonians, my friends, and classmates that do not have the same chances at a higher level education, although they work just as hard.

When I study, I study hard because I do not want to let this chance and opportunity go to waste. I study because I have been undeservedly blessed to be able to go the United States for a high education with better chances at getting scholarship money. I study my hardest because  it is my dream that I may come back and make a difference in countries like Africa with poor education systems . It should be a right for children to be able to learn like I have. Therefore, because of this mindset, I am driven to study not just out of thankfulness for my circumstances, but also in hope that I may be able to give other children a better chance, and a greater reason to study.

3. Helping Many People Is Achievable in Teaching

A powerful source of motivation for some education students is the potential to touch and positively impact the lives of many people. Education is a field of consequence and that’s a good reason for wanting to join the teaching profession.

Over the course of a long career, a classroom teacher may help shape the learning experience of hundreds or even thousands of students. In policy roles, educators can affect millions of people.

by Rachel Bayly

Through high school I worked as a teacher at a daycare. When I left for college I said goodbye to a lot of people, including my students. All summer I had woken up at five in the morning to go to work and wait for them to arrive and put a smile on my face. Those kids motivated me to keep waking up and working hard, and leaving them was not easy.

The thing that made that goodbye worth it, the reason that I keep pushing through this tying chapter of my life is that  I am determined to improve early childhood education in the United States .

I want to be a positive force in the lives of as many children as I possibly can, and I plan on doing that by improving standards and policies for early childhood education and making it more affordable.

Every week I write in my planner, “I will make a difference” and one way that I will change the lives of children and families. On days that I find myself asking, “why am I here?” “why am I going into debt, paying to be stressed out all the time?” I think of my students. I read my “I will make a difference” statements.

I remember that some children out there are stuck in low quality child care centers, they will never reach their full potential, and they need help. I keep working hard everyday so that I can help those children.

by Megan Burns

My ultimate goal is to change the lives of people. Studying to be a teacher is hard. All of the classes that are required, all of the practicums, and all of the time spent just to become a teacher is stressful, but the thought of being able to help just one person changes everything.

It takes one person to be a light in someone’s life. It take one person to be a helping hand. It takes one person to change an unmotivated, broken life, and make it brand new. Qualified teachers are those people.  We motivate students to do their best, we guide students to success when no one else will, and we are always available to listen.  One teacher can change the lives of thousands of students. That is my motivation.

I know that after college, I will be a teacher, a guider, a counselor, and a friend to so many students. No matter how many bad days I have or how many times I want to quit, I just think of what is to come in the future. I can be that change this world needs, even if its in a small high school classroom. It just takes one person.

by Victoria Shoemkaer

My dream is to make a difference in the life of children.

• To make them excited about learning.
• To make it fun the way it used to be when they were younger.
• To show them that someone cares about them and wants to see them succeed.
• To show that they are much more that a test score or a number.
• To believe in them so much, that I do not let them get discouraged from chasing their dreams.
• To showing them that everyone fails and it’s your recovery that determines what happens next.
• To sacrifice myself to gives them more opportunities for success.
• To encourage students to succeed in and out of the classroom for the betterment of themselves and the community.
• To inspire them to change the world, because they can.
• To help them transform into caring and compassionate adults who are ready to conquer the word, but remember where they came from.
• To teach them to do good in the world because anyone can accomplish doing well.

Most importantly, my dream is to make children feel like their voice is important and valued and that they are loved more than they know.

4. Lives Can Be Improved by Dedicated Instructors

Teaching a subject such as Math or English is the everyday task of a teacher. But our prospective teachers see a greater purpose in their training and career path.

The daily motivation to teach doesn’t come from the superficial advantages of a teaching career, such as great job security or extra vacation time. Here are stories by future educators who want to go beyond the curriculum and improve people’s lives all round.

by Savannah Luree Weverka

Teachers are the ones who ignited my love for learning and there is not a day that goes by when I do not challenge myself to a personal goal of lifelong learning.

My mother is a teacher, so I was a student educated in an institution filled with support and a home that also supported education. I recall many teacher “get-togethers” and Husker parties where an informal invitation led to my presence.

Due to all of this support and interaction received throughout my elementary and high school career, Elementary Education continues to be at the top of my career choices. And now, as a senior looking forward to graduating from high school,  teachers remain my role models .

In considering a focus in Elementary Education, I now realize that many teachers not only teach children eight hours of the day, but become doctors for scraped knees, dictionaries for challenging words, mediators between students, and parents away from home.

Now, as I am taking the steps to make my dream come true I hope to make school an escape to free their minds and expand their knowledge. I want to share my love of learning with my students.

by Aaron Banta

Since I was younger, I have had the dream of becoming a history teacher at the high school level. The reason I am striving for this career is thanks to a teacher I had.  They held such a passion for history and taught it so well that it made me want to keep learning everything I could about it.

In college, I have had to work multiple jobs and attend school full-time. I would wake up early in the morning and not get home until late at night. The one thing that kept me on top of my studying and work was the dream I have; to be able to teach history and express my love for it by teaching the next generation. I strive to impact their lives for the better just like mine was.

Being able to pass my courses and get a degree and teaching credentials is the first main goal I am striving for. But being able to have a positive impact on students I have will be an even greater goal that I want to accomplish. I am hoping to guide them through their study of my favorite subject so I can teach them about the world and help them just like my teacher had helped me.

by Chelsea Rogers

At USC Upstate, I am studying to be a Secondary Education Mathematics teacher. The math courses are not easy and the education courses pushes you to challenge yourself. The thought of being a future teacher is what motivates me to keep pushing.

Although I do not know any of my students, they are precious to me and I believe it is my job to change their lives for the better.  Teaching math is my job, but looking beyond my content and into the wellbeing of my students is my passion.

The question I always ask myself is how can I teach students who may not trust me? I have to establish a connection with each student so that they will see I care about them academically, physically, and emotionally. Once students see that you care about them in these areas, it becomes easier to teach them and they are willing to perform to the best of their ability because they know their teacher supports them 100 percent. Being a great teacher is what motivates me to continue striving for my degree.

by Micayla Watroba

One plus one is two. Phone is pronounced with an F sound. 60 divided by 15 is 4. An essay typically has five paragraphs. I know all these things because I went to school. I also had teachers that helped me understand it even when I didn’t get the same opportunities as everyone else.

See, when I was in first grade I was diagnosed with ALL Leukemia. This made school very hard. I was either out of school so often that I missed entire chapters or I was bullied so badly that I couldn’t focus because I was so scared. Having cancer also made it hard for my mom and dad to pay for food and rent much less after school activities and tutoring. I grew up knowing that there were some things that were just not in reach for us. 

For as bad as I had it, I can’t imagine having to live on the streets, going hungry, or even being taught in a language I don’t know.

My dream is to be the teacher that makes sure that every student gets an education that helps them succeed.  I want to make sure that my students not only enjoy being at school but feel safe while there.  My students will know that it doesn’t matter where they came from or what background they came from. I am going to be there and I will not leave them behind. This is my dream.

5. Promote Lifelong Learning in Young People

What inspires some people to become teachers is the power to set young people on the right education path. Helping children to have good early experiences and embrace the learning process can profoundly enhance someone’s life. The potential for transformative early development applies to handicapped and disadvantaged kids as much as anyone.

by Lesley Martinez-Silva

I aspire to make a difference in others’ lives through education. I’m studying to be an elementary school teacher because I believe that children can achieve so much more if they learn early of their potential.

Education has always been my priority. My parents always stressed the importance of obtaining an education, having missed that opportunity themselves. My parents taught me as a child that schooling was vital to success in life. Truly, that lesson has been the most important in my path to college. I don’t think I would’ve made it this far had I not taken my education seriously.

I want to teach others about the importance of education so they too can prosper.  Everything I’m learning at university is important for my future career and, if I don’t study it, I’m failing my future students. Every child deserves the best education available and I should strive to be the best educator possible to provide that for them. When balancing academics, work, and my social life, it can get challenging to keep going. But, with the future of children’s education in my hands, I always get back on track.

by Brianna Rivers

One of my goals is to become a teacher and work in an public elementary school within the greater Boston area (possibly my own elementary school). I want to be a teacher because I enjoy working with children and I know how important teachers are in children’s lives. I plan on receiving my Bachelor’s degree for Early Childhood Education and my Master’s degree in Special Education.

I want to major in Early Childhood Education because  early education is significant for children and is a building block for their future in learning . I also want to major in Special Education because I believe all children should receive equal learning opportunities as well as equal treatment (meaning an inclusive environment, etc).

I think all of my experiences have a positive impact on myself because I am learning more about what it takes to be a teacher and what it takes to be a good teacher. My experiences also have a positive impact on the children and adults I work with. I offer a helping hand to the teachers and a friendly face to the children.

I plan to continue to work hard and take advantage of learning opportunities to achieve both of my goals. Being a teacher is my desire and I will stop at nothing to be a great teacher one day.

by Jennamarie Moody

When I close my eyes, I picture myself in a school located in an urban setting, teaching a classroom of diverse yet alike students. These students are in the second grade, meaning that they are impressionable yet vulnerable to their environment whether this means at home, at school, or in their greater community.

Some of these students don’t speak English as their first language, and some come from low-income households that can limit their educational experiences outside of the classroom. And yet, no matter what differences these students bring to the table, their uniqueness flows throughout the classroom in such a positive energy that embraces, respects, and promotes learning. This is the goal I am working towards; the goal  to inspire our youth to become self-advocates for their learning .

Opportunities for equal educational experiences may not exist, however the beauty lies in the growth of love young students can develop as they are challenged in the classroom to question their surroundings. I plan to make a difference in the lives of the children I meet along the way, and to create a safe learning environment.

Although the tests for certification and studies can be difficult, my passion for education and dedication to shaping the lives of my students is what keeps me going. The end goal is to nurture the development of my students to become active and engaged participants in society, and that is what I intend to do completely.

by Julie Anderson

My long-time goal has been to become a teacher, and this year I’m in a class called Teachers for Tomorrow, where I get to shadow a kindergarten teacher. Working with her and the students has increased my interest in children with special needs.

From here on out, I want to support my students in academics and other parts of their lives so I can help them learn, grow, and succeed. I know that children need a strong start to their school career because the first few years of school are crucial; this is when students begin to love or hate learning itself. Whether or not children enjoy school, they deserve to appreciate learning. Students who love learning will always want to improve themselves.

I will make an effort to provide a loving environment where each child can prosper. However, for students with special needs, this task becomes even harder to accomplish because traditional classrooms are usually set up for non-disabled students.  While I know I can’t “save” every student I teach, and some of them will still hate learning, at least I can start them off right.

When I’m swamped with schoolwork, I will imagine my future students and how I could influence their lives. Even though not all of my college classes will relate to my major, forming a habit of working hard in college will help me to succeed as a future teacher.

6. Teachers Are Excellent Role Models

The experience of being helped and transformed by a good teacher leaves a lasting impression. Teaching is considered a noble profession for good reasons.

Some education students are motivated to become a teacher to emulate their own role models. They want to provide the same kind of service they once received. An added reason for pursuing a teaching career is to be a role model to younger people outside the classroom, including one’s own children.

by Teresa Pillifant

My first day – well, more like first semester- of my freshman year in high school was the hardest semester of my whole school career. Usually the kind of student who loves school, I found myself getting stomach aches in the morning and dreading school with my whole being. I was new to the school, and the number of students was overwhelming.

It seemed like there was no relief, except for my first hour Spanish class. Having no friends, I would always arrive at my first hour class early. As this pattern continued, my Spanish teacher and I developed a relationship. My teacher started giving me books to read, asking my opinion on what we should do in class and just talked to me in general about life. Through my teacher’s support, I grew to find my place in the school and became more confident.

Her kind words and actions inspired me to become a teacher myself.  Now, whenever school or life gets difficult, I think of my freshmen year Spanish teacher and how she inspired me. I want to do what she did for me for my future students. Whether it be a difficult test or a challenging class, my goal of making a difference in a student’s life keeps me going.

by Mo Cabiles

The world we live in is hard, unsteady and ruthless. We see this everyday in the harshness of homelessness, to social media screaming for justice. What motivates me to continue on is that I have felt the bitter cold bite of homelessness. I know what it’s like to not have enough to eat and to be scared of what will happen next.

I am fortunate to no longer be in those situations but that, by no means, is an indicator that it will all now come easy. As an adult learner and your “non-traditional” student, there are other obstacles I must overcome. From transportation to childcare or education application mastery to APA formatting, the many roadblocks I tackle both large and small are what I consider to be my victories.

I’ve seen what having a higher education can do for someone and I want that for myself and that of my daughters.  I strive to be a good example for them , to show them that, regardless of social standing and unforeseeable circumstances, if they work hard and put their best effort forward, they can achieve their dreams.

My dream is to obtain my Masters in Education with an emphasis in counseling. I want to be an academic advisor or guidance counselor. I’ve seen so many youths attempt community college and fail because they fell through the cracks. These students need to realize their potential and I want to help them achieve that and to be their cheerleader.

by Gia Sophia Sarris

In every school I’ve ever attended, experienced teachers were there to support and inspire me. I have looked up to these people ever since I was in elementary school, and they have had an immense and positive impact on my life and my view of the world.  My fondness for these people [educators] has led me to aspire to become a teacher.

I want to “pay it forward” and improve the lives of children and teenagers who grow up struggling as I did, or in any way for that matter. I want to make a difference in their lives and let them know that they are not alone with their problems.

This is what motivates me to study hard. Becoming a teacher, I believe, will help me fulfill my purpose in life, which I think is to create happiness and ease the burdens of others. I feel that children and teenagers need this especially, because they are struggling to understand the world and their place in it. I study hard for their sake.

by Jennifer Wolfert

From elementary school to my first year at college, I struggled to establish a dream for myself. Trying to figure out what career I wanted to pursue as successful adult always filled me with anxiety. I had spent multiple years in special education and left with a low academic self-esteem. So, after high school I attended Bucks County Community College in search for more time. Still I made no progress. Then I decided to change my outlook. I stopped asking “what do I want to do?” and started asking “who do I want to be?”. That’s when my dream took shape.

The educators that I met during my time at community college were my inspiration.  They are brilliant, hardworking people with a passion for their specialty that I had never seen before. Their belief in hard work was infectious. School began to fill me with excited anticipation and my grades improved. I started to believe that if I worked hard enough then I could be like them and inspire others like they had inspired me.

At the end of my second year attending community college, I accomplished a task that had previously racked me with fear. I applied to Temple University as a Secondary English Education major. I have now completed my second semester at Temple and earned my first 4.0 GPA. In time, I am confident that I will be able to accomplish my dream. I will become the passionate and inspiring educator that my younger self never had.

by Jenyfer Pegg

My entire life has been filled with discouragement. I grew up in a household where I was constantly told “No”. I was told my ideas were stupid and would not work. In my junior year of high school, my teachers and counselors started talking about college and sending in applications to different places. At that point, I knew I was not going. I came from a poor family and I knew we could never have money for something like college.

But I went on college visits, I listened to people speak about their college, and I was set. I had a lot of things pushing me, except the one thing I really wanted, my family. No one in my family has gone to college, and when I told my mother, she was shocked. She told me she just wanted me out of the house.

When I came to school, I realized I wanted to teach high school. I want to make an actual difference in someone else’s life. My family has taken the same road for years, and I’m not going down that road. I won’t live paycheck to paycheck like my mom, I will be a person that others will look up to.

I’m going to do something worthwhile, and I will work harder than anyone else if it gets me there.  I’ve seen what my life will be like without school and motivation and there is absolutely no way I’m going down that road. I’ve got bigger plans.

7. Unlock the Success Potential of Students

Educators want to help students in every way they can but, for some future teachers, the focus is on helping students soar. That child in front of you in the classroom might grow up to do great things for society, raise a strong family, or just be happy and fulfilled.

Whatever the potential of a pupil, a teacher’s job is to help unlock talents and remove any barriers to future success.

by Tamara Vega

The thing that motivates me the most is the thought of having my own classroom someday. I want to be the teacher that changes a child’s life, inspires them to set high goals for themselves and encourages them to reach it.

College can be so hard at times and I get really anxious and scared. I worry about not passing my classes and exams, I worry about not getting my degree. Despite that I do not give up because I have to do this and I want to do this.

I cannot see myself doing anything else besides teaching, I have never been this passionate about something. I want to graduate and get my degree. I’d love to look at it and say, “I worked hard for this and I earned it”.

The idea that the students in my classroom could grow up to cure cancer, or become president, pretty much anything they want, brings me so much excitement.   I want to be the teacher that they remember, the one who helped them realize their dream and who gave them the knowledge needed to reach it.

Be the teacher that I needed as a child but unfortunately never had. That is what gets me through all the stress and anxiety, I know in my heart that all the studying I’m doing right now will be worth it in the end.

by Nicole Gongora

The dream of success motivates me to study – not my success, my future students’ success. I push myself through the rough spots for them.

I was a lost child in high school; I didn’t know how to apply to college, let alone afford it. No child should have to experience that. As a future educator, I am committed to helping my students succeed, achieve more, and continue onto higher education.  Every child should be given the opportunity to showcase their strengths and follow their dreams.

College was never a dream for me; it was a far off, unattainable fantasy. I met some inspiring teachers in high school who encouraged me to change my life and who helped me to thrive. Without them, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I plan to work at a low-income school similar to the one I attended. These types of schools are the ones who lack resources. I will serve as a resource to my students and I hope to be an inspiration to them. In turn, I hope they become kind, respectful adults. I want them to see the virtue in helping others and I hope they will serve others in their future careers. I want to be the teacher they remember. I want to be the teacher that helped them succeed.

I’ll feel successful as a teacher if my students are successful in attaining their goals. If one student decides to achieve more then I will have lived out my dream.

by Madison Sherrill

I’ve decided to become a teacher because I want to show the value of compassion and diversity.

As I begin college this upcoming fall, my main motivation is the students. While I haven’t even met them yet, they inspire me to persist in my classes and stay optimistic.  My classroom will support innovative thinking and celebrate each student’s individuality.

As a classroom teacher, I want to encourage and positively influence the next generation. They should know that they can be successful and achieve what they aspire to become while making the world better. By teaching the value of inclusiveness and the power of kindness, my students may turn out to be visionary thinkers and leading members of society.

by Alicia Costin

I am returning to school after taking a few years off. After graduating from California Lutheran University with my BS in Mathematics, I wanted to land a job with benefits and begin my “adult life”.

While it took me a few months to find my current job, is it just that; a job. I have benefits, a full-time schedule, weekends and holidays off, but am I happy? Is this what I want to do as a career for the rest of my life? I have asked myself this question a few times and the answer is always the same; no.

My dream is to become a teacher and help motivate and encourage students to do their best in their studies and in life.  It is my dream to do what I was meant to do; shape young minds and help future generations.

When things become difficult during my graduate program, I know to keep pushing, thriving, and studying hard so that, when I do become a teacher, I can use this as a positive story to shape their way of life. I landed a job outside of college, however now it is time for me to land my career.

Related Posts

Who taught the first teacher, what can i do with a master’s in education, why teaching is still a good career choice, how to become a homeschool teacher.

Sample College Admissions Essay - Student Teacher

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Many college applicants have had summer camp experiences. In this Common Application essay, Max discusses his challenging relationship with a difficult student who ends up having a lot to contribute. 

The Essay Prompt

Max's essay was originally written for the pre-2013 Common Application essay prompt that states,  "Indicate a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that influence."  The influential person option no longer exists, but there are many ways to write about an important person with the current seven essay options on the 2018-19 Common Application .

Max's essay has recently been revised to fit the new 650-word length limit of the current Common Application, and it would work nicely with the 2018-19 prompt #2 :  "The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?"

The essay would also work well with Common Application essay option #5 ,  "Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others."

Max's Common Application Essay

Student Teacher

Anthony was neither a leader nor a role model. In fact, his teachers and his parents were constantly chastising him because he was disruptive, ate too much, and had a hard time staying focused. I met Anthony when I was a counselor at a local summer camp. The counselors had the usual duties of keeping kids from smoking, drowning, and killing each other. We made God’s eyes, friendship bracelets, collages, and other clichés. We rode horses, sailed boats, and hunted snipe.

Each counselor also had to teach a three-week course that was supposed to be a little more “academic” than the usual camp fare. I created a class called “Things that Fly.” I met with fifteen students for an hour a day as we designed, built, and flew kites, model rockets, and balsawood airplanes.

Anthony signed up for my class. He was not a strong student. He had been kept back a year at his school, and he was larger and louder than the other middle school kids. He talked out of turn and lost interest when others were talking. In my class, Anthony got some good laughs when he smashed his kite and threw the pieces into the wind. His rocket never made it to the launch pad because he crumpled it in a fit of frustration when a fin fell off.

In the final week, when we were making airplanes, Anthony surprised me when he drew a sketch of a sweep-wing jet and told me he wanted to make a “really cool plane.” Like many of Anthony’s teachers, and perhaps even his parents, I had largely given up on him. Now he suddenly showed a spark of interest. I didn’t think the interest would last, but I helped Anthony get started on a scale blueprint for his plane. I worked one-on-one with Anthony and had him use his project to demonstrate to his classmates how to cut, glue and mount the balsawood framework. When the frames were complete, we covered them with tissue paper. We mounted propellers and rubber bands. Anthony, with all his thumbs, created something that looked a bit like his original drawing despite some wrinkles and extra glue.

Our first test flight saw Anthony’s plane nose-dive straight into the ground. His plane had a lot of wing area in the back and too much weight in the front. I expected Anthony to grind his plane into the earth with his boot. He didn’t. He wanted to make his creation work. The class returned to the classroom to make adjustments, and Anthony added some big flaps to the wings. Our second test flight surprised the whole class. As many of the planes stalled, twisted, and nose-dived, Anthony’s flew straight out from the hillside and landed gently a good 50 yards away.

I’m not writing about Anthony to suggest that I was a good teacher. I wasn’t. In fact, I had quickly dismissed Anthony like many of his teachers before me. At best, I had viewed him as a distraction in my class, and I felt my job was to keep him from sabotaging the experience for the other students. Anthony’s ultimate success was a result of his own motivation, not my instruction.

Anthony’s success wasn’t just his plane. He had succeeded in making me aware of my own failures. Here was a student who was never taken seriously and had developed a bunch of behavioral issues as a result. I never stopped to look for his potential, discover his interests, or get to know the kid beneath the facade. I had grossly underestimated Anthony, and I am grateful that he was able to disillusion me.

I like to think that I’m an open-minded, liberal, and non-judgmental person. Anthony taught me that I’m not there yet.

Critique of Max's Common Application Essay

In general, Max has written a strong essay for the Common Application , but it does take a few risks. Below you'll find a discussion of the essay's strengths and weaknesses.

Essays on important or influential people can quickly become predictable and cliché when they focus on the typical heroes of high school students: a parent, a brother or sister, a coach, a teacher.

From the first sentence, we know that Max's essay is going to be different: "Anthony was neither a leader nor a role model." Max's strategy is a good one, and the admissions folks who read the essay will most likely be pleased to read an essay that isn't about how Dad is the greatest role model or Coach is the greatest mentor.

Also, essays on influential people often conclude with the writers explaining how they've become better people or owe all of their success to the mentor. Max takes the idea in a different direction; Anthony has made Max realize that he isn't as good of a person as he had thought, that he still has much to learn. The humility and self-critique is refreshing.

There's no one rule for writing a winning essay title , but Max's title is perhaps a little too clever. "Student Teacher" immediately suggests a student who is teaching (something that Max is doing in his narrative), but the true meaning is that Max's student taught him an important lesson. Thus, both Anthony and Max are "student teachers."

However, that double meaning is not apparent until after one has read the essay. The title by itself does not immediately grab our attention, nor does it clearly tell us what the essay will be about.

For the most part, Max maintains a pretty serious tone throughout the essay. The first paragraph does have a nice touch in the way that it pokes fun at all the cliché activities that are typical of summer camp.

The real strength of the essay, however, is that Max manages the tone to avoid sounding like he is bragging about his accomplishments. The self-criticism of the essay's conclusion may seem like a risk, but it arguably works to Max's advantage. The admissions counselors know that no student is perfect, so Max's awareness of his own short-comings will probably be interpreted as a sign of maturity, not as a red flag highlighting a defect in character.

The Essay Length

At 631 words, Max's essay is at the upper end of the Common Application length requirement of 250 to 650 words. This is not a bad thing. If a college is requesting an essay, it is because the admissions folks want to get to know the applicant better. They can learn more from you with a 600-word essay than with a 300-word essay. You may encounter counselors who argue that admissions officers are extremely busy, so shorter is always better. This little evidence to support such a claim, and you'll find very few applicants to top-tier colleges (such as the Ivy League schools) being admitted with essays that don't take advantage of the space allowed.

The ideal essay length is certainly subjective and depends in part on the applicant and the story being narrated, but Max's essay length is absolutely fine. This is particularly true because the prose is never wordy, flowery, or excessive. The sentences tend to be short and clear, so the overall reading experience isn't labored.

The Writing

The opening sentence grabs our attention because it isn't what we expect from an essay. The conclusion is also pleasingly surprising. Many students would be tempted to make themselves the hero of the essay and state what a profound impact they had on Anthony. Max turns it around, highlights his own failures, and gives the credit to Anthony.

The balance of the essay isn't perfect. Max's essay spends far more time describing Anthony than it does describe Anthony's influence. Ideally, Max could cut a couple of sentences from the middle of the essay and then develop a little further the two short concluding paragraphs.

Final Thoughts

Max's essay, like  Felicity's essay , takes some risks. It's possible an admissions officer would judge Max negatively for exposing his biases. But this is unlikely. In the end, Max presents himself as someone who is a leader (he is designing and teaching a class, after all) and as someone who is aware that he still has much to learn. These are qualities that should be attractive to most college admissions folks. After all, colleges want to admit students who are eager to learn and who have the self-awareness to recognize that they have room for a lot more personal growth. 

• Tips for an Admissions Essay on an Influential Person
• Sample Application Essay - Porkopolis
• Tips for the Pre-2013 Personal Essay Options on the Common Application
• "Grandpa's Rubik's Cube"—Sample Common Application Essay, Option #4
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Teaching the College Essay

Your students can write argumentative essays, but they need additional guidance to produce standout personal narratives.

A college application is little more than names and numbers.

The numbers include SAT score, class rank, and GPA. The names include classes taken, sports, clubs, and activities, as well as awards and recognitions. While these elements may give a snapshot of a student’s academic background, there’s little to no soul to that snapshot.

That’s where the essay comes in. It’s an opportunity to humanize an application. It’s a chance for students to shine a light on who they are and what has shaped them. It allows them to show that they’re more than just a transcript—they have an identity.

That’s what makes it so intimidating. When you can write about anything, how do you know what to say? And how do you sum up who you are in one essay?

To complicate matters, most of the essay writing that students do in high school is argumentative writing. A college essay is a personal narrative, and introspection is not in most students’ wheelhouse.

I’ve taught seniors for nearly a decade and have read thousands of college essays. In that time, I’ve heard the same student fears over and over again:

• “My life has been boring. I don’t have anything worth writing about.”
• “I know what I want to say. I just don’t know how to say it.”
• “My essay is a big, hot mess. It’s all over the place, and I don’t know what I’m doing with it.”

Our job is to guide students through the writing process in a way that gives them the courage and confidence to write a college essay they’re proud of.

Three Things to Tell Your Students

1. Just start: The Russian painter Wassily Kandinsky believed that “everything starts with a dot.” So many students believe that they need to have the perfect idea and the most amazing first line before they even put pen to paper. Remind them that they don’t need to have a great idea—they just need that first dot. They can start with a bad idea, they can start with a sentence they don’t like, but if they just start, something positive will come out of it.

2. Good essays are often about the simplest things: Have you seen the essay about Costco that helped one student get into five Ivy League schools? It, like the best essays I’ve read over the years, is not about the most extraordinary accomplishments, written in a bombastic tone. It’s about something mundane. But it displays a perceptive and insightful mind in a captivating way. Reassure students that they need not have climbed Mount Everest or invented a water-filtering system for a remote South American village. They just need to share something meaningful and revelatory about their life in an interesting way.

As teachers, we can help them see that even the simplest experiences can matter and that they just need to be insightful about why such an experience was meaningful.

3. It’s all about them... and they’re unique: The three most common essay subjects I’ve seen over the years are the sports injury, the family divorce, and the death of a loved one. There are two potential pitfalls in these types of essays.

First, the primary focus isn’t the person writing the essay—it’s the parents fighting, the physical therapist that rehabbed them, or the grandfather, once strong but now decrepit and weak. Those people are not the ones applying to college. Let students know that if they talk about others, they must do so in the service of revealing something valuable about themselves.

Second, these topics, being frequently used, run the risk of being predictable and clichéd. The essays become generic. Instead of being particular, they are broad and universal because the experiences in them sounds like everyone else’s. If your students choose one of these topics, encourage them to write about it as only they can. Show them how to infuse dialogue, capture the imagery of the moment, and write in a voice that’s authentic to them.

Fear Management

Stephen King believes that the scariest moment for a writer is just before they start. If we can help students get that first dot on the page, assure them that their story is meaningful, and empower them to believe that they are unique, we can take away a lot of that fear.

As teachers, we need to approach the college essay with empathetic ears, listening to our students’ voices to help them capture the best of who they are.

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Flipping the Script on the College Essay With Help From The New York Times

How one teacher uses personal narratives to help high school seniors write application essays that are “powerful, meaningful and clear”

By Sharon Murchie

As we kick off a third year of our student narrative writing contest , we bring you an idea from Sharon Murchie, a 10th and 12th grade English teacher at Okemos High School in Okemos, Mich. , for how to use personal essays from The Times to help students write meaningful and authentic college application essays.

Year after year, Ms. Murchie, who was also a member of the 2020-21 cohort of The New York Times Teaching Project , watched her high school seniors freeze in the “proverbial headlights of the college essay.” So she decided to “flip the script” by having them write their essays first, before ever seeing the application prompts. Below, she tells us about her “Common App Essay Boot Camp,” featuring Times mentor texts and The Learning Network’s personal narrative writing unit .

If you have a teaching idea to share, tell us about it here , or browse our full collection of Reader Ideas .

— The Learning Network

Writing the college application essay is both a rite of passage for high school seniors and a stumbling block for many of them.

Every year, my incoming seniors are panicked about the essay that they have to submit for the Common App, the nation’s most used application. For some reason, their 17- and 18-year-old brains have suddenly decided that everything they have ever learned about writing with voice and “show, don’t tell” and addressing their audience should fly out the window when faced with the terrifying unknown: The College Entrance Committee. They often try to sound like anyone other than themselves, resorting to the thesaurus and picking the biggest word instead of believing in their own voices. They can’t envision an audience that is shrouded in mystery out there, somewhere, the panel of judgment, the gatekeepers to the rest of their lives.

The resulting essays that they panic-write are often dull, formulaic, filled with clichés, and attempting to sound wise beyond their 18 years of life. They write tortured sentences like “I look back, now cognizant of the piteous ineptitude of my 13-year-old self” and “I try to remember what life was once like before the new normal, the unprecedented time of Covid.”

I’ve tried to stress to them for years that the Common App essay is just a short personal narrative written to a fairly open-ended prompt, but so many students feel they have nothing meaningful to write about. I needed to flip this experience upside down for them, and have students write their stories first, before they looked at the actual prompts and started to sweat.

Thus, the Common App Essay Boot Camp, featuring The New York Times, was born.

I started with the Learning Network’s unit on narrative writing , which is rich with prompts and mentor texts. The resources provide scaffolding for students to draft short but vivid personal essays about seemingly insignificant moments in their lives: a grudge they held, a lie they told, a risk they took, a sunrise they saw. Each mentor text lesson teaches a different key element of narrative writing, provides examples of the skill in Times narrative essays, and then challenges students to use it in their own writing. Students are encouraged to write what they know, honor their own voices, and tell their unique stories.

I wanted to use a similar approach, but adapt it for high school seniors who are writing their college application essays. So I created a unit where students would write personal narratives, inspired by Times mentor texts that would be applicable to the Common App prompts. Then, I would reveal the prompts and they would already have drafts that they could work with and modify for their college application.

Finding Inspiration in Times Narrative Essays

To find personal narratives for students to emulate, I combed through the Lives column , which ran in The Times for over 20 years and invited writers to tell short, powerful stories about meaningful life experiences. I also searched through the college application essays on money, work and social class that The Times publishes every year.

From those, I chose just four essays to use as mentor texts that could easily align with the Common App prompts.

Each week, we read a New York Times essay as a mentor text, annotated it for specific “writer’s moves,” discussed it, and then wrote our own essays, mirroring some of the craft moves that the authors had made in the mentor texts. Then, we worked through a writing workshop feedback and revision process, where students noted evidence in each other’s essays of the specific writing moves that had been the focus that week. Finally, students submitted their polished essays for a grade or class credit.

Week 1: Sensory Description

We started with sensory description, using the mentor text “ This Cold House ” by Elizabeth Gilbert. The author’s moves we focused on this week were word choice and use of sensory details in order to engage the reader in the moment. Students then wrote about a favorite memory from their lives with as much of this kind of detail as possible.

Week 2: Identity

We moved into personal reflection using the mentor text “ I Live on the Edge ” by Tillena Trebon. The author’s moves we focused on were word choice, syntax and voice. I invited students to discuss how the author organizes her writing and all of the different “edges” she lives on. Then, they wrote about two worlds that they balance between.

I want students to see that they have a story, no matter how “normal” or “uneventful” they think their lives might be. Every student straddles multiple identities, and most college applications ask students to write about some aspect of their identities.

Week 3: Memorable Moments

I followed The Learning Network Writing Curriculum’s suggestion to write narratives that tell a short, memorable story , using the mentor text “ My Secret Pepsi Plot ” by Boris Fishmann. We discussed how the author moves back and forth between a “little kid understanding” and an “adult understanding” throughout the text, and how he reveals significant things about himself through this insignificant moment of taking returnables back to the store.

Students wrote about an insignificant moment in their own lives that said something significant about them or their background. I challenged them to try to stay in the moment, at the age that moment occurred, to make it really come to life.

Week 4: Direct and Indirect Explanation

We ended with “ A Slacker of Jakarta ” by Eka Kurniawan and discussed the concepts of author’s context, implicit and explicit evidence, and the different lenses through which we view ourselves. Mr. Kurniawan discusses his relationship with his mother throughout the piece, but sometimes that relationship is revealed through an action, instead of a direct explanation. Mr. Kurniawan also calls himself a “slacker,” and this led to rich discussions in the classroom about lenses and whose eyes he was judging himself through.

For their final personal narrative, students wrote about a piece of advice they had been given that they may or may not have followed. I’ve found that everyone has a “piece of advice story.” (When I was 18, for example, my mom earnestly insisted when I got my nose pierced that I’d never get a real job.) I reminded my students to tell the story, including the context, of that piece of advice, and to reveal the relationship between themselves and the advice-giver in both explicit and implicit ways.

Writing to the Common App Essay Prompts

After completing this cycle for four weeks (and promising students that we really were working on their college essays this whole time), I introduced students to the Common App essay prompts . Here they are for the 2021-22 school year:

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?

Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?

Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you?

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Instead of trying to write a new essay to specifically address one of the prompts, students could use one of the personal narratives they’d already written and turn it into an amazing application essay.

First, I had them identify key words in each prompt, and then consider which of their four essays might fit each prompt. Next, working with their writing groups, they chose their favorite essay and prompt combination and discussed what, if anything, would need to be altered. Finally, students revised their pieces to ensure that the key words they had identified from the prompt appeared somewhere within their essays, and that their essays were within the recommended 650-word limit .

Three Student Essays, One Generative Exercise

To show you how this works, here are three essays written by students. They all chose the narratives they wrote in response to Tillena Trebon’s mentor text “ I Live on the Edge ” about balancing between two worlds. But they revised their essays to respond to three different Common App essay prompts.

Naseeb Oluwafisiayomi Bello chose the first Common App prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Naseeb writes about how growing up straddling two cultures shaped his identity as someone who is Black, African and American. Naseeb’s essay begins:

I was made in one country and born in another. I am the end of an original generation and still the start of a new one. My parents left with history and my life begins with mystery. It was planned that I would become the nexus of both. I live in a home mostly dominated by one culture and leave the home exposed to a new one. I ask my mom “What’s for dinner?” expecting the same flavors. I suggest dinner ideas hoping to taste the melting pot. The distinct aroma of my home reminds me of the scent in the home of my parents in Nigeria. When we cook, we open the doors and windows, initiating the invasion of the air outside. The aroma of my house melts into the outside.

Read the rest of Naseeb’s essay .

Harshil Chidura decided to respond to the fifth prompt: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

Harshil’s essay tackles that phase between childhood and adulthood, and how treasuring his younger self has helped him confront a daunting future. Harshil writes:

I still feel like someone who watches Minecraft “Let’s Play” episodes in his free time, who plays football in his backyard, and whose greatest source of excitement is a GameStop gift card on his birthday. I still feel like I should be nervous about starting the fifth grade, eating Popsicles after a long day of playing outside with super soakers, and celebrating my half birthday. And yet, it has been years since I have done any one of those things, nor am I particularly interested in them now. My interests and hobbies have matured along with me and the rest of my peers. But still, I feel like no time has passed at all.

Read Harshil’s full essay.

Zachary Flink responded to the last prompt: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Zachary writes about feeling like there are two versions of himself. His essay begins:

I live each day as two different people. The daily swallowing of a pill takes out my brain and replaces it with another. This statement seems so ridiculous. A tiny 50 milligram pill doesn’t seem like it has the power to change who you are for seven hours. From 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., I live life as an overly determined robot.

Read the rest of Zachary’s essay.

For the summative unit assessment, I had students follow the model of The Learning Network’s Annotated by the Author series, in which student writers reveal their writing process through annotations and a short video interview. I asked students to create their own videos in Flipgrid , explaining which essay they chose for their Common App and why, and outlining the author choices and moves they made.

Here are videos from three students:

Seoah An talks about how she used word choice and sentence structure to highlight her feelings of alienation and cultural difference in her essay “The Name Game.”

Teagan Hemmerly discusses how she deployed sensory details to show the pressure she feels to be perfect.

Shreya Ravipati tells viewers why she chose a “nonsensical topic” — everything bagels — to show her personal growth.

Rising seniors are often trapped in the quicksand of thinking they know it all, and yet knowing they know nothing. Giving them personal essay mentor texts from The Times, and using the Learning Network’s narrative-writing framework, helps them see that they really do have a story worth telling, and that their own voices can be powerful, meaningful and clear.

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College Essay Examples | What Works and What Doesn't

Published on November 8, 2021 by Kirsten Courault . Revised on August 14, 2023.

One effective method for improving your college essay is to read example essays . Here are three sample essays, each with a bad and good version to help you improve your own essay.

Table of contents

Essay 1: sharing an identity or background through a montage, essay 2: overcoming a challenge, a sports injury narrative, essay 3: showing the influence of an important person or thing, other interesting articles, frequently asked questions about college application essays.

This essay uses a montage structure to show snapshots of a student’s identity and background. The writer builds her essay around the theme of the five senses, sharing memories she associates with sight, sound, smell, touch, and taste.

In the weak rough draft, there is little connection between the individual anecdotes, and they do not robustly demonstrate the student’s qualities.

In the final version, the student uses an extended metaphor of a museum to create a strong connection among her stories, each showcasing a different part of her identity. She draws a specific personal insight from each memory and uses the stories to demonstrate her qualities and values.

How My Five Senses Record My Life

Throughout my life, I have kept a record of my life’s journey with my five senses. This collection of memories matters a great deal because I experience life every day through the lens of my identity.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

My classmate pulls one eye up and the other down.

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention to my discomfort, anger, and shame. How could he say such a mean thing about me? What did I do to him? Joseph’s words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Soaking in overflowing bubble baths with Andrew Lloyd Webber belting from the boombox.

Listening to “Cell Block Tango” with my grandparents while eating filet mignon at a dine-in show in Ashland.

Singing “The Worst Pies in London” at a Korean karaoke club while laughing hysterically with my brother, who can do an eerily spot-on rendition of Sweeney Todd.

Taking car rides with Mom in the Toyota Sequoia as we compete to hit the high note in “Think of Me” from The Phantom of the Opera . Neither of us stands a chance!

The sweet scent of vegetables, Chinese noodles, and sushi wafts through the room as we sit around the table. My grandma presents a good-smelling mixture of international cuisine for our Thanksgiving feast. My favorite is the Chinese food that she cooks. Only the family prayer stands between me and the chance to indulge in these delicious morsels, comforting me with their familiar savory scents.

I rinse a faded plastic plate decorated by my younger sister at the Waterworks Art Center. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. I actually don’t mind this daily chore.

I taste sweat on my upper lip as I fight to continue pedaling on a stationary bike. Ava’s next to me and tells me to go up a level. We’re biking buddies, dieting buddies, and Saturday morning carbo-load buddies. After the bike display hits 30 minutes, we do a five-minute cool down, drink Gatorade, and put our legs up to rest.

My five senses are always gathering new memories of my identity. I’m excited to expand my collection.

Word count: 455

College essay checklist

Topic and structure

• I’ve selected a topic that’s meaningful to me.
• My essay reveals something different from the rest of my application.
• I have a clear and well-structured narrative.
• I’ve concluded with an insight or a creative ending.

Writing style and tone

• I’ve crafted an introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.
• I’ve written my essay in a way that shows instead of tells.
• I’ve used appropriate style and tone for a college essay.
• I’ve used specific, vivid personal stories that would be hard to replicate.
• I’ve demonstrated my positive traits and values in my essay.
• My essay is focused on me, not another person or thing.
• I’ve included self-reflection and insight in my essay.
• I’ve respected the word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

Making Sense of My Identity

Welcome to The Rose Arimoto Museum. You are about to enter the “Making Sense of My Identity” collection. Allow me to guide you through select exhibits, carefully curated memories from Rose’s sensory experiences.

First, the Sight Exhibit.

“Chinese! Japanese!”

“Look what my parents did to me!”

No matter how many times he repeats it, the other kids keep laughing. I focus my almond-shaped eyes on the ground, careful not to attract attention as my lip trembles and palms sweat. Joseph couldn’t have known how his words would engrave themselves into my memory, making me question my appearance every time I saw my eyes in the mirror.

Ten years later, these same eyes now fixate on an InDesign layout sheet, searching for grammar errors while my friend Selena proofreads our feature piece on racial discrimination in our hometown. As we’re the school newspaper editors, our journalism teacher Ms. Riley allows us to stay until midnight to meet tomorrow’s deadline. She commends our work ethic, which for me is fueled by writing一my new weapon of choice.

Next, you’ll encounter the Sound Exhibit.

Still, the world is my Broadway as I find my voice on stage.

Just below, enter the Smell Exhibit.

While I help my Pau Pau prepare dinner, she divulges her recipe for cha siu bau, with its soft, pillowy white exterior hiding the fragrant filling of braised barbecue pork inside. The sweet scent of candied yams, fun see , and Spam musubi wafts through the room as we gather around our Thankgsiving feast. After our family prayer, we indulge in these delicious morsels until our bellies say stop. These savory scents of my family’s cultural heritage linger long after I’ve finished the last bite.

Next up, the Touch Exhibit.

I rinse a handmade mug that I had painstakingly molded and painted in ceramics class. I wear yellow rubber gloves to protect my hands at Mom’s insistence, but I can still feel the warm water that offers a bit of comfort as I finish the task at hand. The crusted casserole dish with stubborn remnants from my dad’s five-layer lasagna requires extra effort, so I fill it with Dawn and scalding water, setting it aside to soak. For a few fleeting moments, as I continue my nightly chore, the pressure of my weekend job, tomorrow’s calculus exam, and next week’s track meet are washed away.

Finally, we end with the Taste Exhibit.

My legs fight to keep pace with the stationary bike as the salty taste of sweat seeps into corners of my mouth. Ava challenges me to take it up a level. We always train together一even keeping each other accountable on our strict protein diet of chicken breasts, broccoli, and Muscle Milk. We occasionally splurge on Saturday mornings after interval training, relishing the decadence of everything bagels smeared with raspberry walnut cream cheese. But this is Wednesday, so I push myself. I know that once the digital display hits 30:00, we’ll allow our legs to relax into a five-minute cool down, followed by the fiery tang of Fruit Punch Gatorade to rehydrate.

Thank you for your attention. This completes our tour. I invite you to rejoin us for next fall’s College Experience collection, which will exhibit Rose’s continual search for identity and learning.

Word count: 649

• I’ve crafted an essay introduction containing vivid imagery or an intriguing hook that grabs the reader’s attention.

Prevent plagiarism. Run a free check.

This essay uses a narrative structure to recount how a student overcame a challenge, specifically a sports injury. Since this topic is often overused, the essay requires vivid description, a memorable introduction and conclusion , and interesting insight.

The weak rough draft contains an interesting narrative, insight, and vivid imagery, but it has an overly formal tone that distracts the reader from the story. The student’s use of elaborate vocabulary in every sentence makes the essay sound inauthentic and stilted.

The final essay uses a more natural, conversational tone and chooses words that are vivid and specific without being pretentious. This allows the reader to focus on the narrative and appreciate the student’s unique insight.

One fateful evening some months ago, a defensive linebacker mauled me, his 212 pounds indisputably alighting upon my ankle. Ergo, an abhorrent cracking of calcified tissue. At first light the next day, I awoke cognizant of a new paradigm—one sans football—promulgated by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

It’s been an exceedingly taxing semester not being able to engage in football, but I am nonetheless excelling in school. That twist of fate never would have come to pass if I hadn’t broken my ankle. I still limp down the halls at school, but I’m feeling less maudlin these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, emboldened by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

Five months ago, right after my ill-fated injury, my friends’ demeanor became icy and remote, although I couldn’t fathom why. My teachers, in contrast, beckoned me close and invited me on a new learning journey. But despite their indubitably kind advances, even they recoiled when I drew near.

A few weeks later, I started to change my attitude vis-à-vis my newfound situation and determined to put my energy toward productive ends (i.e., homework). I wasn’t enamored with school. I never had been. Nevertheless, I didn’t abhor it either. I just preferred football.

My true turn of fate came when I started studying more and participating in class. I started to enjoy history class, and I grew interested in reading more. I discovered a volume of poems written by a fellow adventurer on the road of life, and I loved it. I ravenously devoured everything in the writer’s oeuvre .

As the weeks flitted past, I found myself spending my time with a group of people who were quite different from me. They participated in theater and played instruments in marching band. They raised their hands in class when the teacher posed a question. Because of their auspicious influence, I started raising my hand too. I am no longer vapid, and I now have something to say.

I am certain that your school would benefit from my miraculous academic transformation, and I entreat you to consider my application to your fine institution. Accepting me to your university would be an unequivocally righteous decision.

Word count: 408

• I’ve chosen a college essay topic that’s meaningful to me.
• I’ve respected the essay word count , remaining within 10% of the upper word limit.

As I step out of bed, the pain shoots through my foot and up my leg like it has every morning since “the game.” That night, a defensive linebacker tackled me, his 212 pounds landing decidedly on my ankle. I heard the sound before I felt it. The next morning, I awoke to a new reality—one without football—announced by a stabbing sensation that would continue to haunt me every morning of this semester.

My broken ankle broke my spirit.

My friends steered clear of me as I hobbled down the halls at school. My teachers tried to find the delicate balance between giving me space and offering me help. I was as unsure how to deal with myself as they were.

In time, I figured out how to redirect some of my frustration, anger, and pent-up energy toward my studies. I had never not liked school, but I had never really liked it either. In my mind, football practice was my real-life classroom, where I could learn all I ever needed to know.

Then there was that day in Mrs. Brady’s history class. We sang a ridiculous-sounding mnemonic song to memorize all the Chinese dynasties from Shang to Qing. I mumbled the words at first, but I got caught up in the middle of the laughter and began singing along. Starting that day, I began browsing YouTube videos about history, curious to learn more. I had started learning something new, and, to my surprise, I liked it.

With my afternoons free from burpees and scrimmages, I dared to crack open a few more of my books to see what was in them. That’s when my English poetry book, Paint Me Like I Am , caught my attention. It was full of poems written by students my age from WritersCorps. I couldn’t get enough.

I wasn’t the only one who was taken with the poems. Previously, I’d only been vaguely aware of Christina as one of the weird kids I avoided. Crammed in the margins of her high-top Chuck Taylors were scribbled lines of her own poetry and infinite doodles. Beyond her punk rock persona was a sensitive artist, puppy-lover, and environmental activist that a wide receiver like me would have never noticed before.

With Christina, I started making friends with people who once would have been invisible to me: drama geeks, teachers’ pets, band nerds. Most were college bound but not to play a sport. They were smart and talented, and they cared about people and politics and all sorts of issues that I hadn’t considered before. Strangely, they also seemed to care about me.

I still limp down the halls at school, but I don’t seem to mind as much these days. My friends don’t steer clear anymore, and I have a lot more of them. My teachers, excited by my newfound interest in learning, continually invite me to learn more and do my best. Football is still on hold, but I feel like I’m finally playing a game that matters.

My broken ankle broke my spirit. Then, it broke my ignorance.

Word count: 512

This essay uses a narrative structure to show how a pet positively influenced the student’s values and character.

In the weak draft, the student doesn’t focus on himself, instead delving into too much detail about his dog’s positive traits and his grandma’s illness. The essay’s structure is meandering, with tangents and details that don’t communicate any specific insight.

In the improved version, the student keeps the focus on himself, not his pet. He chooses the most relevant stories to demonstrate specific qualities, and the structure more clearly builds up to an insightful conclusion.

Man’s Best Friend

I desperately wanted a cat. I begged my parents for one, but once again, my sisters overruled me, so we drove up the Thompson Valley Canyon from Loveland to Estes Park to meet our newest family member. My sisters had already hatched their master plan, complete with a Finding Nemo blanket to entice the pups. The blanket was a hit with all of them, except for one—the one who walked over and sat in my lap. That was the day that Francisco became a Villanova.

Maybe I should say he was mine because I got stuck with all the chores. As expected, my dog-loving sisters were nowhere to be found! My mom was “extra” with all the doggy gear. Cisco even had to wear these silly little puppy shoes outside so that when he came back in, he wouldn’t get the carpets dirty. If it was raining, my mother insisted I dress Cisco in a ridiculous yellow raincoat, but, in my opinion, it was an unnecessary source of humiliation for poor Cisco. It didn’t take long for Cisco to decide that his outerwear could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I took off one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his ensemble more when we had to walk through snowdrifts to get his job done.

When my abuela was dying from cancer, we went in the middle of the night to see her before she passed. I was sad and scared. But, my dad let me take Cisco in the car, so Cisco cuddled with me and made me feel much better. It’s like he could read my mind. Once we arrived at the hospital, the fluorescent lighting made the entire scene seem unreal, as if I was watching the scene unfold through someone else’s eyes. My grandma lay calmly on her bed, smiling at us even through her last moments of pain. I disliked seeing the tubes and machines hooked up to her. It was unnatural to see her like this一it was so unlike the way I usually saw her beautiful in her flowery dress, whistling a Billie Holiday tune and baking snickerdoodle cookies in the kitchen. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained at the foot of the bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that seemed more effective at communicating comfort and compassion than the rest of us who attempted to offer up words of comfort that just seemed hollow and insincere. It was then that I truly appreciated Cisco’s empathy for others.

As I accompanied my dad to pick up our dry cleaner’s from Ms. Chapman, a family friend asked, “How’s Cisco?” before even asking about my sisters or me. Cisco is the Villanova family mascot, a Goldendoodle better recognized by strangers throughout Loveland than the individual members of my family.

On our summer trip to Boyd Lake State Park, we stayed at the Cottonwood campground for a breathtaking view of the lake. Cisco was allowed to come, but we had to keep him on a leash at all times. After a satisfying meal of fish, our entire family walked along the beach. Cisco and I led the way while my mom and sisters shuffled behind. Cisco always stopped and refused to move, looking back to make sure the others were still following. Once satisfied that everyone was together, he would turn back around and continue prancing with his golden boy curly locks waving in the chilly wind.

On the beach, Cisco “accidentally” got let off his leash and went running maniacally around the sand, unfettered and free. His pure joy as he raced through the sand made me forget about my AP Chem exam or my student council responsibilities. He brings a smile not only to my family members but everyone around him.

Cisco won’t live forever, but without words, he has impressed upon me life lessons of responsibility, compassion, loyalty, and joy. I can’t imagine life without him.

Word count: 701

I quickly figured out that as “the chosen one,” I had been enlisted by Cisco to oversee all aspects of his “business.” I learned to put on Cisco’s doggie shoes to keep the carpet clean before taking him out一no matter the weather. Soon after, Cisco decided that his shoes could be used as toys in a game of Keep Away. As soon as I removed one of his shoes, he would run away with it, hiding under the bed where I couldn’t reach him. But, he seemed to appreciate his footwear more after I’d gear him up and we’d tread through the snow for his daily walks.

One morning, it was 7:15 a.m., and Alejandro was late again to pick me up. “Cisco, you don’t think he overslept again, do you?” Cisco barked, as if saying, “Of course he did!” A text message would never do, so I called his dad, even if it was going to get him in trouble. There was no use in both of us getting another tardy during our first-period class, especially since I was ready on time after taking Cisco for his morning outing. Alejandro was mad at me but not too much. He knew I had helped him out, even if he had to endure his dad’s lecture on punctuality.

Another early morning, I heard my sister yell, “Mom! Where are my good ballet flats? I can’t find them anywhere!” I hesitated and then confessed, “I moved them.” She shrieked at me in disbelief, but I continued, “I put them in your closet, so Cisco wouldn’t chew them up.” More disbelief. However, this time, there was silence instead of shrieking.

Last spring, Cisco and I were fast asleep when the phone rang at midnight. Abuela would not make it through the night after a long year of chemo, but she was in Pueblo, almost three hours away. Sitting next to me for that long car ride on I-25 in pitch-black darkness, Cisco knew exactly what I needed and snuggled right next to me as I petted his coat in a rhythm while tears streamed down my face. The hospital didn’t usually allow dogs, but they made a special exception to respect my grandma’s last wishes that the whole family be together. Cisco remained sitting at the foot of the hospital bed, intently watching abuela with a silence that communicated more comfort than our hollow words. Since then, whenever I sense someone is upset, I sit in silence with them or listen to their words, just like Cisco did.

The other day, one of my friends told me, “You’re a strange one, Josue. You’re not like everybody else but in a good way.” I didn’t know what he meant at first. “You know, you’re super responsible and grown-up. You look out for us instead of yourself. Nobody else does that.” I was a bit surprised because I wasn’t trying to do anything different. I was just being me. But then I realized who had taught me: a fluffy little puppy who I had wished was a cat! I didn’t choose Cisco, but he certainly chose me and, unexpectedly, became my teacher, mentor, and friend.

Word count: 617

If you want to know more about academic writing , effective communication , or parts of speech , make sure to check out some of our other articles with explanations and examples.

Academic writing

• Writing process
• Transition words
• Passive voice
• Paraphrasing

 Communication

• How to end an email
• Ms, mrs, miss
• How to start an email
• I hope this email finds you well
• Hope you are doing well

 Parts of speech

• Personal pronouns
• Conjunctions

A standout college essay has several key ingredients:

• A unique, personally meaningful topic
• A memorable introduction with vivid imagery or an intriguing hook
• Specific stories and language that show instead of telling
• Vulnerability that’s authentic but not aimed at soliciting sympathy
• Clear writing in an appropriate style and tone
• A conclusion that offers deep insight or a creative ending

There are no set rules for how to structure a college application essay , but these are two common structures that work:

• A montage structure, a series of vignettes with a common theme.
• A narrative structure, a single story that shows your personal growth or how you overcame a challenge.

Avoid the five-paragraph essay structure that you learned in high school.

Though admissions officers are interested in hearing your story, they’re also interested in how you tell it. An exceptionally written essay will differentiate you from other applicants, meaning that admissions officers will spend more time reading it.

You can use literary devices to catch your reader’s attention and enrich your storytelling; however, focus on using just a few devices well, rather than trying to use as many as possible.

Most importantly, your essay should be about you , not another person or thing. An insightful college admissions essay requires deep self-reflection, authenticity, and a balance between confidence and vulnerability.

Your essay shouldn’t be a résumé of your experiences but instead should tell a story that demonstrates your most important values and qualities.

When revising your college essay , first check for big-picture issues regarding message, flow, tone, style , and clarity. Then, focus on eliminating grammar and punctuation errors.

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16 Strong College Essay Examples from Top Schools

What’s Covered:

• Common App Essays
• Why This College Essays
• Why This Major Essays
• Extracurricular Essays
• Overcoming Challenges Essays
• Community Service Essays
• Diversity Essays
• Political/Global Issues Essays
• Where to Get Feedback on Your Essays

Most high school students don’t get a lot of experience with creative writing, so the college essay can be especially daunting. Reading examples of successful essays, however, can help you understand what admissions officers are looking for.

In this post, we’ll share 16 college essay examples of many different topics. Most of the essay prompts fall into 8 different archetypes, and you can approach each prompt under that archetype in a similar way. We’ve grouped these examples by archetype so you can better structure your approach to college essays.

If you’re looking for school-specific guides, check out our 2022-2023 essay breakdowns .

Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized. 

Note: the essays are titled in this post for navigation purposes, but they were not originally titled. We also include the original prompt where possible.

The Common App essay goes to all of the schools on your list, unless those schools use a separate application platform. Because of this, it’s the most important essay in your portfolio, and likely the longest essay you’ll need to write (you get up to 650 words). 

The goal of this essay is to share a glimpse into who you are, what matters to you, and what you hope to achieve. It’s a chance to share your story. 

Learn more about how to write the Common App essay in our complete guide.

The Multiple Meanings of Point

Prompt: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. (250-650 words)

Night had robbed the academy of its daytime colors, yet there was comfort in the dim lights that cast shadows of our advances against the bare studio walls. Silhouettes of roundhouse kicks, spin crescent kicks, uppercuts and the occasional butterfly kick danced while we sparred. She approached me, eyes narrowed with the trace of a smirk challenging me. “Ready spar!” Her arm began an upward trajectory targeting my shoulder, a common first move. I sidestepped — only to almost collide with another flying fist. Pivoting my right foot, I snapped my left leg, aiming my heel at her midsection. The center judge raised one finger. 

There was no time to celebrate, not in the traditional sense at least. Master Pollard gave a brief command greeted with a unanimous “Yes, sir” and the thud of 20 hands dropping-down-and-giving-him-30, while the “winners” celebrated their victory with laps as usual. 

Three years ago, seven-thirty in the evening meant I was a warrior. It meant standing up straighter, pushing a little harder, “Yes, sir” and “Yes, ma’am”, celebrating birthdays by breaking boards, never pointing your toes, and familiarity. Three years later, seven-thirty in the morning meant I was nervous. 

The room is uncomfortably large. The sprung floor soaks up the checkerboard of sunlight piercing through the colonial windows. The mirrored walls further illuminate the studio and I feel the light scrutinizing my sorry attempts at a pas de bourrée, while capturing the organic fluidity of the dancers around me. “Chassé en croix, grand battement, pique, pirouette.” I follow the graceful limbs of the woman in front of me, her legs floating ribbons, as she executes what seems to be a perfect ronds de jambes. Each movement remains a negotiation. With admirable patience, Ms. Tan casts me a sympathetic glance.   

There is no time to wallow in the misery that is my right foot. Taekwondo calls for dorsiflexion; pointed toes are synonymous with broken toes. My thoughts drag me into a flashback of the usual response to this painful mistake: “You might as well grab a tutu and head to the ballet studio next door.” Well, here I am Master Pollard, unfortunately still following your orders to never point my toes, but no longer feeling the satisfaction that comes with being a third degree black belt with 5 years of experience quite literally under her belt. It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers. 

But the appetite for new beginnings that brought me here doesn’t falter. It is only reinforced by the classical rendition of “Dancing Queen” that floods the room and the ghost of familiarity that reassures me that this new beginning does not and will not erase the past. After years spent at the top, it’s hard to start over. But surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become. In Taekwondo, we started each class reciting the tenets: honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet. 

The thing about change is that it eventually stops making things so different. After nine different schools, four different countries, three different continents, fluency in Tamil, Norwegian, and English, there are more blurred lines than there are clear fragments. My life has not been a tactfully executed, gold medal-worthy Taekwondo form with each movement defined, nor has it been a series of frappés performed by a prima ballerina with each extension identical and precise, but thankfully it has been like the dynamics of a spinning back kick, fluid, and like my chances of landing a pirouette, unpredictable. 

The first obvious strength of this essay is the introduction—it is interesting and snappy and uses enough technical language that we want to figure out what the student is discussing. When writing introductions, students tend to walk the line between intriguing and confusing. It is important that your essay ends up on the intentionally intriguing side of that line—like this student does! We are a little confused at first, but by then introducing the idea of “sparring,” the student grounds their essay.

People often advise young writers to “show, not tell.” This student takes that advice a step further and makes the reader do a bit of work to figure out what they are telling us. Nowhere in this essay does it say “After years of Taekwondo, I made the difficult decision to switch over to ballet.” Rather, the student says “It’s like being a white belt again — just in a leotard and ballet slippers.” How powerful! 

After a lot of emotional language and imagery, this student finishes off their essay with very valuable (and necessary!) reflection. They show admissions officers that they are more than just a good writer—they are a mature and self-aware individual who would be beneficial to a college campus. Self-awareness comes through with statements like “surrendering what you are only leads you to what you may become” and maturity can be seen through the student’s discussion of values: “honor, courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self-control, courage, humility, and knowledge, and I have never felt that I embodied those traits more so than when I started ballet.”

Sparking Self-Awareness

Prompt: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (250-650 words)

Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug spray—I wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire. 

Furiously I rubbed the twigs together—rubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teeth—old, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family. 

Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt. 

“Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” they taunted. “Having some trouble?” They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame. 

In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since I’d kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, I’d practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musician—fleshy and sensitive. And I’d gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldn’t remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformation—he disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him. 

Yet, I realized I hadn’t really changed—I had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. I’d grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses. 

That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumped—it helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldn’t start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.

First things first, this Common App essay is well-written. This student is definitely showing the admissions officers her ability to articulate her points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the “rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.” And because the prose is flowery (and beautiful!), the writer can get away with metaphors like “I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms” that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.

In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction “Fire!” and ends with the following image: “When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smoked—my hands burned from all that scrawling—and even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparking—I was on fire, always on fire.” This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.

While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates her family members saying “Where’s the fire, Princess Clara?” This is achieved through the apt use of the verb “taunted” to characterize the questioning and through the question’s thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this student’s inclusion of the questions “Was I so dainty?” and “Was I that incapable?” feel perfectly justified after she establishes that she was pondering her failure.

Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling. 

Why This College?

“Why This College?” is one of the most common essay prompts, likely because schools want to understand whether you’d be a good fit and how you’d use their resources.

This essay is one of the more straightforward ones you’ll write for college applications, but you still can and should allow your voice to shine through.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This College?” essay in our guide.

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

This prompt from Penn asks students to tailor their answer to their specific field of study. One great thing that this student does is identify their undergraduate school early, by mentioning “Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics.” You don’t want readers confused or searching through other parts of your application to figure out your major.

With a longer essay like this, it is important to establish structure. Some students organize their essay in a narrative form, using an anecdote from their past or predicting their future at a school. This student uses Roach’s 5 C’s of Caring as a framing device that organizes their essay around values. This works well!

While this essay occasionally loses voice, there are distinct moments where the student’s personality shines through. We see this with phrases like “felt like drinking from a fire hose in the best possible way” and “All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence.” It is important to show off your personality to make your essay stand out. 

Finally, this student does a great job of referencing specific resources about Penn. It’s clear that they have done their research (they’ve even talked to current Quakers). They have dreams and ambitions that can only exist at Penn.

Prompt: What is it about Yale that has led you to apply? (125 words or fewer)

Coin collector and swimmer. Hungarian and Romanian. Critical and creative thinker. I was drawn to Yale because they don’t limit one’s mind with “or” but rather embrace unison with “and.” 

Wandering through the Beinecke Library, I prepare for my multidisciplinary Energy Studies capstone about the correlation between hedonism and climate change, making it my goal to find implications in environmental sociology. Under the tutelage of Assistant Professor Arielle Baskin-Sommers, I explore the emotional deficits of depression, utilizing neuroimaging to scrutinize my favorite branch of psychology: human perception. At Walden Peer Counseling, I integrate my peer support and active listening skills to foster an empathetic environment for the Yale community. Combining my interests in psychological and environmental studies is why I’m proud to be a Bulldog. 

This answer to the “Why This College” question is great because 1) the student shows their excitement about attending Yale 2) we learn the ways in which attending Yale will help them achieve their goals and 3) we learn their interests and identities.

In this response, you can find a prime example of the “Image of the Future” approach, as the student flashes forward and envisions their life at Yale, using present tense (“I explore,” “I integrate,” “I’m proud”). This approach is valuable if you are trying to emphasize your dedication to a specific school. Readers get the feeling that this student is constantly imagining themselves on campus—it feels like Yale really matters to them.

Starting this image with the Beinecke Library is great because the Beinecke Library only exists at Yale. It is important to tailor “Why This College” responses to each specific school. This student references a program of study, a professor, and an extracurricular that only exist at Yale. Additionally, they connect these unique resources to their interests—psychological and environmental studies.

Finally, we learn about the student (independent of academics) through this response. By the end of their 125 words, we know their hobbies, ethnicities, and social desires, in addition to their academic interests. It can be hard to tackle a 125-word response, but this student shows that it’s possible.

Why This Major?

The goal of this prompt is to understand how you came to be interested in your major and what you plan to do with it. For competitive programs like engineering, this essay helps admissions officers distinguish students who have a genuine passion and are most likely to succeed in the program. This is another more straightforward essay, but you do have a bit more freedom to include relevant anecdotes.

Learn more about how to write the “Why This Major?” essay in our guide.

Why Duke Engineering

Prompt: If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as a first year applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke (250 words).

One Christmas morning, when I was nine, I opened a snap circuit set from my grandmother. Although I had always loved math and science, I didn’t realize my passion for engineering until I spent the rest of winter break creating different circuits to power various lights, alarms, and sensors. Even after I outgrew the toy, I kept the set in my bedroom at home and knew I wanted to study engineering. Later, in a high school biology class, I learned that engineering didn’t only apply to circuits, but also to medical devices that could improve people’s quality of life. Biomedical engineering allows me to pursue my academic passions and help people at the same time.

Just as biology and engineering interact in biomedical engineering, I am fascinated by interdisciplinary research in my chosen career path. Duke offers unmatched resources, such as DUhatch and The Foundry, that will enrich my engineering education and help me practice creative problem-solving skills. The emphasis on entrepreneurship within these resources will also help me to make a helpful product. Duke’s Bass Connections program also interests me; I firmly believe that the most creative and necessary problem-solving comes by bringing people together from different backgrounds. Through this program, I can use my engineering education to solve complicated societal problems such as creating sustainable surgical tools for low-income countries. Along the way, I can learn alongside experts in the field. Duke’s openness and collaborative culture span across its academic disciplines, making Duke the best place for me to grow both as an engineer and as a social advocate.

This prompt calls for a complex answer. Students must explain both why they want to study engineering and why Duke is the best place for them to study engineering.

This student begins with a nice hook—a simple anecdote about a simple present with profound consequences. They do not fluff up their anecdote with flowery images or emotionally-loaded language; it is what it is, and it is compelling and sweet. As their response continues, they express a particular interest in problem-solving. They position problem-solving as a fundamental part of their interest in engineering (and a fundamental part of their fascination with their childhood toy). This helps readers to learn about the student!

Problem-solving is also the avenue by which they introduce Duke’s resources—DUhatch, The Foundry, and Duke’s Bass Connections program. It is important to notice that the student explains how these resources can help them achieve their future goals—it is not enough to simply identify the resources!

This response is interesting and focused. It clearly answers the prompt, and it feels honest and authentic.

Why Georgia Tech CompSci

Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words max)

I held my breath and hit RUN. Yes! A plump white cat jumped out and began to catch the falling pizzas. Although my Fat Cat project seems simple now, it was the beginning of an enthusiastic passion for computer science. Four years and thousands of hours of programming later, that passion has grown into an intense desire to explore how computer science can serve society. Every day, surrounded by technology that can recognize my face and recommend scarily-specific ads, I’m reminded of Uncle Ben’s advice to a young Spiderman: “with great power comes great responsibility”. Likewise, the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed with AI’s far-reaching presence in society; and I believe that digital fairness starts with equality in education.

The unique use of threads at the College of Computing perfectly matches my interests in AI and its potential use in education; the path of combined threads on Intelligence and People gives me the rare opportunity to delve deep into both areas. I’m particularly intrigued by the rich sets of both knowledge-based and data-driven intelligence courses, as I believe AI should not only show correlation of events, but also provide insight for why they occur.

In my four years as an enthusiastic online English tutor, I’ve worked hard to help students overcome both financial and technological obstacles in hopes of bringing quality education to people from diverse backgrounds. For this reason, I’m extremely excited by the many courses in the People thread that focus on education and human-centered technology. I’d love to explore how to integrate AI technology into the teaching process to make education more available, affordable, and effective for people everywhere. And with the innumerable opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know that I will be able to go further here than anywhere else.

With a “Why This Major” essay, you want to avoid using all of your words to tell a story. That being said, stories are a great way to show your personality and make your essay stand out. This student’s story takes up only their first 21 words, but it positions the student as fun and funny and provides an endearing image of cats and pizzas—who doesn’t love cats and pizzas? There are other moments when the student’s personality shines through also, like the Spiderman reference.

While this pop culture reference adds color, it also is important for what the student is getting at: their passion. They want to go into computer science to address the issues of security and equity that are on the industry’s mind, and they acknowledge these concerns with their comments about “scarily-specific ads” and their statement that “the need to ensure digital equality has skyrocketed.” This student is self-aware and aware of the state of the industry. This aptitude will be appealing for admissions officers.

The conversation around “threads” is essential for this student’s response because the prompt asks specifically about the major at Georgia Tech and it is the only thing they reference that is specific to Georgia Tech. Threads are great, but this student would have benefitted from expanding on other opportunities specific to Georgia Tech later in the essay, instead of simply inserting “innumerable opportunities.”

Overall, this student shows personality, passion, and aptitude—precisely what admissions officers want to see!

Extracurricular Essay

You’re asked to describe your activities on the Common App, but chances are, you have at least one extracurricular that’s impacted you in a way you can’t explain in 150 characters.

This essay archetype allows you to share how your most important activity shaped you and how you might use those lessons learned in the future. You are definitely welcome to share anecdotes and use a narrative approach, but remember to include some reflection. A common mistake students make is to only describe the activity without sharing how it impacted them.

Learn more about how to write the Extracurricular Essay in our guide.

A Dedicated Musician

My fingers raced across the keys, rapidly striking one after another. My body swayed with the music as my hands raced across the piano. Crashing onto the final chord, it was over as quickly as it had begun. My shoulders relaxed and I couldn’t help but break into a satisfied grin. I had just played the Moonlight Sonata’s third movement, a longtime dream of mine. 

Four short months ago, though, I had considered it impossible. The piece’s tempo was impossibly fast, its notes stretching between each end of the piano, forcing me to reach farther than I had ever dared. It was 17 pages of the most fragile and intricate melodies I had ever encountered. 

But that summer, I found myself ready to take on the challenge. With the end of the school year, I was released from my commitment to practicing for band and solo performances. I was now free to determine my own musical path: either succeed in learning the piece, or let it defeat me for the third summer in a row. 

Over those few months, I spent countless hours practicing the same notes until they burned a permanent place in my memory, creating a soundtrack for even my dreams. Some would say I’ve mastered the piece, but as a musician I know better. Now that I can play it, I am eager to take the next step and add in layers of musicality and expression to make the once-impossible piece even more beautiful.

In this response, the student uses their extracurricular, piano, as a way to emphasize their positive qualities. At the beginning, readers are invited on a journey with the student where we feel their struggle, their intensity, and ultimately their satisfaction. With this descriptive image, we form a valuable connection with the student.

Then, we get to learn about what makes this student special: their dedication and work ethic. The fact that this student describes their desire to be productive during the summer shows an intensity that is appealing to admissions officers. Additionally, the growth mindset that this student emphasizes in their conclusion is appealing to admissions officers.

The Extracurricular Essay can be seen as an opportunity to characterize yourself. This student clearly identified their positive qualities, then used the Extracurricular Essay as a way to articulate them.

A Complicated Relationship with the School Newspaper

My school’s newspaper and I have a typical love-hate relationship; some days I want nothing more than to pass two hours writing and formatting articles, while on others the mere thought of student journalism makes me shiver. Still, as we’re entering our fourth year together, you could consider us relatively stable. We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences; at this point I’ve become comfortable spending an entire Friday night preparing for an upcoming issue, and I hardly even notice the snail-like speed of our computers. I’ve even benefitted from the polygamous nature of our relationship—with twelve other editors, there’s a lot of cooperation involved. Perverse as it may be, from that teamwork I’ve both gained some of my closest friends and improved my organizational and time-management skills. And though leaving it in the hands of new editors next year will be difficult, I know our time together has only better prepared me for future relationships.

This response is great. It’s cute and endearing and, importantly, tells readers a lot about the student who wrote it. Framing this essay in the context of a “love-hate relationship,” then supplementing with comments like “We’ve learned to accept each other’s differences” allows this student to advertise their maturity in a unique and engaging way. 

While Extracurricular Essays can be a place to show how you’ve grown within an activity, they can also be a place to show how you’ve grown through an activity. At the end of this essay, readers think that this student is mature and enjoyable, and we think that their experience with the school newspaper helped make them that way.

Participating in Democracy

Prompt: Research shows that an ability to learn from experiences outside the classroom correlates with success in college. What was your greatest learning experience over the past 4 years that took place outside of the traditional classroom? (250 words) 

The cool, white halls of the Rayburn House office building contrasted with the bustling energy of interns entertaining tourists, staffers rushing to cover committee meetings, and my fellow conference attendees separating to meet with our respective congresspeople. Through civics and US history classes, I had learned about our government, but simply hearing the legislative process outlined didn’t prepare me to navigate it. It was my first political conference, and, after learning about congressional mechanics during breakout sessions, I was lobbying my representative about an upcoming vote crucial to the US-Middle East relationship. As the daughter of Iranian immigrants, my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents.

As I sat down with my congresswoman’s chief of staff, I truly felt like a participant in democracy; I was exercising my right to be heard as a young American. Through this educational conference, I developed a plan of action to raise my voice. When I returned home, I signed up to volunteer with the state chapter of the Democratic Party. I sponsored letter-writing campaigns, canvassed for local elections, and even pursued an internship with a state senate campaign. I know that I don’t need to be old enough to vote to effect change. Most importantly, I also know that I want to study government—I want to make a difference for my communities in the United States and the Middle East throughout my career. 

While this prompt is about extracurricular activities, it specifically references the idea that the extracurricular should support the curricular. It is focused on experiential learning for future career success. This student wants to study government, so they chose to describe an experience of hands-on learning within their field—an apt choice!

As this student discusses their extracurricular experience, they also clue readers into their future goals—they want to help Middle Eastern communities. Admissions officers love when students mention concrete plans with a solid foundation. Here, the foundation comes from this student’s ethnicity. With lines like “my whole life had led me to the moment when I could speak on behalf of the family members who had not emigrated with my parents,” the student assures admissions officers of their emotional connection to their future field.

The strength of this essay comes from its connections. It connects the student’s extracurricular activity to their studies and connects theirs studies to their personal history.

Overcoming Challenges

You’re going to face a lot of setbacks in college, so admissions officers want to make you’re you have the resilience and resolve to overcome them. This essay is your chance to be vulnerable and connect to admissions officers on an emotional level.

Learn more about how to write the Overcoming Challenges Essay in our guide.

The Student Becomes the Master

”Advanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.” Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.

Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.

Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldn’t understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.

Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one. 

I first approached the adults in the dojang – both instructors and members’ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldn’t devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.

At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.

Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their children’s coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.

Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojang’s longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.

Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.

Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.

This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.

As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the student’s values as we hear their thoughts: “I knew I couldn’t let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.” Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the “Same, but Different” ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!

Growing Sensitivity to Struggles

Prompt: The lessons we take from failure can be fundamental to later success. Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? (650 words)

“You ruined my life!” After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.

Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.

When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also – perhaps more importantly – a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.

As it turned out, Green Academy was everything I’d hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time – and a massive argument – to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.

Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Max’s outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents – not I – had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it – and I didn’t want to.

We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasn’t just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.

We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. I’d long thought Max had it so easy – all because he had friends. The truth was, he didn’t need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate – he had felt plenty of his own.

My failure to recognize Max’s suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone – most certainly – has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story.

Here you can find a prime example that you don’t have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.

Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writer—where they’re from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their values—notably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this student’s ending of “I won’t make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someone’s life reflects their underlying story” shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.

Community Service/Impact on the Community

Colleges want students who will positively impact the campus community and go on to make change in the world after they graduate. This essay is similar to the Extracurricular Essay, but you need to focus on a situation where you impacted others. 

Learn more about how to write the Community Service Essay in our guide.

Academic Signing Day

Prompt: What have you done to make your school or your community a better place?

The scent of eucalyptus caressed my nose in a gentle breeze. Spring had arrived. Senior class activities were here. As a sophomore, I noticed a difference between athletic and academic seniors at my high school; one received recognition while the other received silence. I wanted to create an event celebrating students academically-committed to four-years, community colleges, trades schools, and military programs. This event was Academic Signing Day.

The leadership label, “Events Coordinator,” felt heavy on my introverted mind. I usually was setting up for rallies and spirit weeks, being overlooked around the exuberant nature of my peers. 

I knew a change of mind was needed; I designed flyers, painted posters, presented powerpoints, created student-led committees, and practiced countless hours for my introductory speech. Each committee would play a vital role on event day: one dedicated to refreshments, another to technology, and one for decorations. The fourth-month planning was a laborious joy, but I was still fearful of being in the spotlight. Being acknowledged by hundreds of people was new to me.     

The day was here. Parents filled the stands of the multi-purpose room. The atmosphere was tense; I could feel the angst building in my throat, worried about the impression I would leave. Applause followed each of the 400 students as they walked to their college table, indicating my time to speak. 

I walked up to the stand, hands clammy, expression tranquil, my words echoing to the audience. I thought my speech would be met by the sounds of crickets; instead, smiles lit up the stands, realizing my voice shone through my actions. I was finally coming out of my shell. The floor was met by confetti as I was met by the sincerity of staff, students, and parents, solidifying the event for years to come. 

Academic students were no longer overshadowed. Their accomplishments were equally recognized to their athletic counterparts. The school culture of athletics over academics was no longer imbalanced. Now, every time I smell eucalyptus, it is a friendly reminder that on Academic Signing Day, not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.

This essay answers the prompt nicely because the student describes a contribution with a lasting legacy. Academic Signing Day will affect this high school in the future and it affected this student’s self-development—an idea summed up nicely with their last phrase “not only were academic students in the spotlight but so was my voice.”

With Community Service essays, students sometimes take small contributions and stretch them. And, oftentimes, the stretch is very obvious. Here, the student shows us that Academic Signing Day actually mattered by mentioning four months of planning and hundreds of students and parents. They also make their involvement in Academic Signing Day clear—it was their idea and they were in charge, and that’s why they gave the introductory speech.

Use this response as an example of the type of focused contribution that makes for a convincing Community Service Essay.

Climate Change Rally

Prompt: What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time? (technically not community service, but the response works)

Let’s fast-forward time. Strides were made toward racial equality. Healthcare is accessible to all; however, one issue remains. Our aquatic ecosystems are parched with dead coral from ocean acidification. Climate change has prevailed.

Rewind to the present day.

My activism skills are how I express my concerns for the environment. Whether I play on sandy beaches or rest under forest treetops, nature offers me an escape from the haste of the world. When my body is met by trash in the ocean or my nose is met by harmful pollutants, Earth’s pain becomes my own. 

Substituting coffee grinds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale. I often found performative activism to be ineffective when communicating climate concerns. My days of reposting awareness graphics on social media never filled the ambition I had left to put my activism skills to greater use. I decided to share my ecocentric worldview with a coalition of environmentalists and host a climate change rally outside my high school.

Meetings were scheduled where I informed students about the unseen impact they have on the oceans and local habitual communities. My fingers were cramped from all the constant typing and investigating of micro causes of the Pacific Waste Patch, creating reusable flyers, displaying steps people could take from home in reducing their carbon footprint. I aided my fellow environmentalists in translating these flyers into other languages, repeating this process hourly, for five days, up until rally day.  

It was 7:00 AM. The faces of 100 students were shouting, “The climate is changing, why can’t we?” I proudly walked on the dewy grass, grabbing the microphone, repeating those same words. The rally not only taught me efficient methods of communication but it echoed my environmental activism to the masses. The City of Corona would be the first of many cities to see my activism, as more rallies were planned for various parts of SoCal. My once unfulfilled ambition was fueled by my tangible activism, understanding that it takes more than one person to make an environmental impact.

Like with the last example, this student describes a focused event with a lasting legacy. That’s a perfect place to start! By the end of this essay, we have an image of the cause of this student’s passion and the effect of this student’s passion. There are no unanswered questions.

This student supplements their focused topic with engaging and exciting writing to make for an easy-to-read and enjoyable essay. One of the largest strengths of this response is its pace. From the very beginning, we are invited to “fast-forward” and “rewind” with the writer. Then, after we center ourselves in real-time, this writer keeps their quick pace with sentences like “Substituting coffee grounds as fertilizer, using bamboo straws, starting my sustainable garden, my individual actions needed to reach a larger scale.” Community Service essays run the risk of turning boring, but this unique pacing keeps things interesting.

Having a diverse class provides a richness of different perspectives and encourages open-mindedness among the student body. The Diversity Essay is also somewhat similar to the Extracurricular and Community Service Essays, but it focuses more on what you might bring to the campus community because of your unique experiences or identities.

Learn more about how to write the Diversity Essay in our guide.

A Story of a Young Skater

​​“Everyone follow me!” I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. “Come on!” I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned. 

But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldn’t mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; it’s the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.

I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliver’s skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed. 

To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliver’s hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played “freeze-skate” and “ice-potato”, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliver’s eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude. 

It’s been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships I’ve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel! 

Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. It’s funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness. 

This response is a great example of how Diversity doesn’t have to mean race, gender, sexuality, ethnicity, age, or ability. Diversity can mean whatever you want it to mean—whatever unique experience(s) you have to bring to the table!

A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fear—skating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. It’s like we are all in it together! The student’s empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: “I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.”

This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skaters—changing their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skaters’ emotions with them—but they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturity—a favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.

At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!

Finding Community in the Rainforest

Prompt: Duke University seeks a talented, engaged student body that embodies the wide range of human experience; we believe that the diversity of our students makes our community stronger. If you’d like to share a perspective you bring or experiences you’ve had to help us understand you better—perhaps related to a community you belong to, your sexual orientation or gender identity, or your family or cultural background—we encourage you to do so. Real people are reading your application, and we want to do our best to understand and appreciate the real people applying to Duke (250 words).

I never understood the power of community until I left home to join seven strangers in the Ecuadorian rainforest. Although we flew in from distant corners of the U.S., we shared a common purpose: immersing ourselves in our passion for protecting the natural world.

Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns. My classmates debated the feasibility of Trump’s wall, not the deteriorating state of our planet. Contrastingly, these seven strangers delighted in bird-watching, brightened at the mention of medicinal tree sap, and understood why I once ran across a four-lane highway to retrieve discarded beer cans. Their histories barely resembled mine, yet our values aligned intimately. We did not hesitate to joke about bullet ants, gush about the versatility of tree bark, or discuss the destructive consequences of materialism. Together, we let our inner tree huggers run free.

In the short life of our little community, we did what we thought was impossible. By feeding on each other’s infectious tenacity, we cultivated an atmosphere that deepened our commitment to our values and empowered us to speak out on behalf of the environment. After a week of stimulating conversations and introspective revelations about engaging people from our hometowns in environmental advocacy, we developed a shared determination to devote our lives to this cause.

As we shared a goodbye hug, my new friend whispered, “The world needs saving. Someone’s gotta do it.” For the first time, I believed that someone could be me.

This response is so wholesome and relatable. We all have things that we just need to geek out over and this student expresses the joy that came when they found a community where they could geek out about the environment. Passion is fundamental to university life and should find its way into successful applications.

Like the last response, this essay finds strength in the fact that readers feel for the student. We get a little bit of backstory about where they come from and how they felt silenced—“Back home in my predominantly conservative suburb, my neighbors had brushed off environmental concerns”—, so it’s easy to feel joy for them when they get set free.

This student displays clear values: community, ecoconsciousness, dedication, and compassion. An admissions officer who reads Diversity essays is looking for students with strong values and a desire to contribute to a university community—sounds like this student!  

Political/Global Issues

Colleges want to build engaged citizens, and the Political/Global Issues Essay allows them to better understand what you care about and whether your values align with theirs. In this essay, you’re most commonly asked to describe an issue, why you care about it, and what you’ve done or hope to do to address it. 

Learn more about how to write the Political/Global Issues Essay in our guide.

Note: this prompt is not a typical political/global issues essay, but the essay itself would be a strong response to a political/global issues prompt.

Fighting Violence Against Women

Prompt: Using a favorite quotation from an essay or book you have read in the last three years as a starting point, tell us about an event or experience that helped you define one of your values or changed how you approach the world. Please write the quotation, title and author at the beginning of your essay. (250-650 words)

“One of the great challenges of our time is that the disparities we face today have more complex causes and point less straightforwardly to solutions.” 

– Omar Wasow, assistant professor of politics, Princeton University. This quote is taken from Professor Wasow’s January 2014 speech at the Martin Luther King Day celebration at Princeton University. 

The air is crisp and cool, nipping at my ears as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky, starless. It is a Friday night in downtown Corpus Christi, a rare moment of peace in my home city filled with the laughter of strangers and colorful lights of street vendors. But I cannot focus. 

My feet stride quickly down the sidewalk, my hand grasps on to the pepper spray my parents gifted me for my sixteenth birthday. My eyes ignore the surrounding city life, focusing instead on a pair of tall figures walking in my direction. I mentally ask myself if they turned with me on the last street corner. I do not remember, so I pick up the pace again. All the while, my mind runs over stories of young women being assaulted, kidnapped, and raped on the street. I remember my mother’s voice reminding me to keep my chin up, back straight, eyes and ears alert. 

At a young age, I learned that harassment is a part of daily life for women. I fell victim to period-shaming when I was thirteen, received my first catcall when I was fourteen, and was nonconsensually grabbed by a man soliciting on the street when I was fifteen. For women, assault does not just happen to us— its gory details leave an imprint in our lives, infecting the way we perceive the world. And while movements such as the Women’s March and #MeToo have given victims of sexual violence a voice, harassment still manifests itself in the lives of millions of women across the nation. Symbolic gestures are important in spreading awareness but, upon learning that a surprising number of men are oblivious to the frequent harassment that women experience, I now realize that addressing this complex issue requires a deeper level of activism within our local communities. 

Frustrated with incessant cases of harassment against women, I understood at sixteen years old that change necessitates action. During my junior year, I became an intern with a judge whose campaign for office focused on a need for domestic violence reform. This experience enabled me to engage in constructive dialogue with middle and high school students on how to prevent domestic violence. As I listened to young men uneasily admit their ignorance and young women bravely share their experiences in an effort to spread awareness, I learned that breaking down systems of inequity requires changing an entire culture. I once believed that the problem of harassment would dissipate after politicians and celebrities denounce inappropriate behavior to their global audience. But today, I see that effecting large-scale change comes from the “small” lessons we teach at home and in schools. Concerning women’s empowerment, the effects of Hollywood activism do not trickle down enough. Activism must also trickle up and it depends on our willingness to fight complacency. 

Finding the solution to the long-lasting problem of violence against women is a work-in-progress, but it is a process that is persistently moving. In my life, for every uncomfortable conversation that I bridge, I make the world a bit more sensitive to the unspoken struggle that it is to be a woman. I am no longer passively waiting for others to let me live in a world where I can stand alone under the expanse of darkness on a city street, utterly alone and at peace. I, too, deserve the night sky.

As this student addresses an important social issue, she makes the reasons for her passion clear—personal experiences. Because she begins with an extended anecdote, readers are able to feel connected to the student and become invested in what she has to say.

Additionally, through her powerful ending—“I, too, deserve the night sky”—which connects back to her beginning— “as I walk under a curtain of darkness that drapes over the sky”—this student illustrates a mastery of language. Her engagement with other writing techniques that further her argument, like the emphasis on time—“gifted to me for my sixteenth birthday,” “when I was thirteen,” “when I was fourteen,” etc.—also illustrates her mastery of language.

While this student proves herself a good writer, she also positions herself as motivated and ambitious. She turns her passions into action and fights for them. That is just what admissions officers want to see in a Political/Global issues essay!

Where to Get Feedback on Your College Essays

Once you’ve written your college essays, you’ll want to get feedback on them. Since these essays are important to your chances of acceptance, you should prepare to go through several rounds of edits. 

Not sure who to ask for feedback? That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review resource. You can get comments from another student going through the process and also edit other students’ essays to improve your own writing. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools.  Find the right advisor for you  to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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Teaching College Essays Samples For Students

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Essay On Education System in America

English is a language that continues to be extensively used in the course of the learning process. Some research work has been done regarding the experience of ESL students both in and out of the classroom context. This article attempts to explore the strategies that have been adopted by various ESL students in the course of performing writing tasks transcending the curriculum. Questions regarding the validity of the training under the EAP curriculum are also considered.

Sample Essay On Security on Educators

Introduction.

The security of schools is a major priority for the administrative personnel in such institutions. As such, they are likely to employ different methods to strengthen the security situation in schools. One of the methods, which are likely, is that of arming the school staff with guns. Although, this may be a good step, there are numerous disadvantages associated with it. Therefore, the essay aims at addressing the demerits and problems that are likely to arise when guns are used to protect schools.

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Free Essay On Tall Organizations

Miller(2011)defines organizational communication as “the process through which individuals stimulate meaning in the minds of others by means of verbal and non-verbal messages in the context of a formal organization”. The importance of studying organizational communication is to identify and resolve problems in the communication channels. Seamless communication and interpretation of signals in an organization would result in higher efficiency and productivity. One of the most important factors in determining the effectiveness of communication flows is the organizational design. Most organizations are divided into either; tall or flat organizations on the basis of hierarchy.

Sample Essay On Seyyid Hussein Nasr

Example of reason and professional ethics essay, question one: six universally acclaimed values, example of teaching profession essay, what is teaching as a profession, good example of communication in organizational structure essay.

The essence of this study is to look at communication in both a tall organizational structure and a flat organizational structure. Communication is the key to any successful organization, whether in a tall communicational stricter or a flat communication structure.

John Derbyshire Essays Examples

John Derbyshire, writer of Taki’s Magazine, in his July 2011 article titled “What Shall We Do with the Kids?” grappled on the issue that confronts public educational system in America. He mentioned how New York City officials took bold steps to remedy some of the problems besetting schools. He said that even without those measures to narrow the gap or prevent the differences in learning outcomes among students, American schools flare comparatively better than other schools worldwide (with some exceptions, of course).

Language Arts Essay Examples

The problem of poor performance and delivery in the field of language arts is a concern for the various bodies concerned with advancement of education. The various challenges and obstacles facing language arts include teacher identity and the influence a school has in the society. Its reputation among others. The methods used to allocate resources are among the factors affecting education system specifically the language arts departments. Various institutions are allocated better trained teachers and resources due to the fact that they portray high end income social statuses in the society.

Good Essay About Make Fun of People in Class

I have always been a bubbly person, very creative and open to trying out new things. I have one thing I love about myself but again, that most people do not like; I make fun of people in class.

Conflict Between Students and Teachers Essays Examples

Southern california conference for undergraduate research essays example, free essay on professor kevin wang, free essay about campbell, good personal philosophy of teaching essay example, a registered nurse and an elementary school teacher essay example, good example of essay on learning environment.

The article is devoted to the investigation of language learning with the help of mobile application devices. The authors claim that the appearance of technology-based learning encourages the development of new methods of teaching and learning. However, it is worth to point out that many teachers and students keep rejecting the idea of technology implementation in the learning process. According to the studies conducted, technological, psychological, pedagogical and environmental barriers prevent students from the use of smartphones for the educational purposes.

Free Musical Experience Essay Sample

I decided to take this class because I have always loved music and I was interested in getting a better understanding of the subject. I have been to a lot of concerts and I own a ton of music, but I have never taken the time to learn this much about the something that is a part of my daily life. Because I like music so much, I was familiar with some of the types of music discussed and know a little bit about music history.

Good Example Of Introductory Lectures on Psycho Analysis Essay

Learning styles essay example, question 1:, good example of system of leadership essay, good i just wanna be average essay example, the roles of assessment in curriculum practice essay examples.

Another role of assessment is to direct the instructional process. If used as a pervasive observation, transaction that takes place in a classroom, and monitoring is an important kind of educational assessment. Instructors can determine if a lesson is going well and students understand concepts by observation during learning, responses to questions that are in tune with what is being discussed, and good interaction (Hipkins, 2009).

English for Specific Purposes Essay Samples

Summary of Ann M. Johns and Donna Price-Machado’s article “English for Specific Purposes: tailoring courses to student needs – and to the outside world”

Massachusetts Essay Sample

Massachusetts trial courts consist of seven departments whose aim is to offer fair administration of justice. In any working environment, injuries from accidents may occur that may result to emotional, financial and physical stress. When injuries occur, questions may be raised on what next step should be taken when this happens. The general rule states that provided the injury occurs in the workplace that is an accident that should be covered under the worker's compensation.

Information and Communications Technology Essay Sample

Culturally responsive essays example.

The family is an important aspect of the society. Most of the family units we see are nuclear which are composed of mothers, fathers and children. This type of unit still dominates our society today; however, it is not just the type that exists. Families and classrooms today are considered diverse and have different scenarios at home. The challenge that we have today as education professionals is how do we, as classroom managers, make our school diversity friendly for our students?

Good Example Of Essay On Administrators of Special and Gifted Education

Free essay about process of learning.

The text reading from the book presented in the book represents the process of learning as an active and constructive acquisition of knowledge through the emergent individual interactions with the personal experiences with people in significant, purposeful context. In a school setup, a curriculum is usually put in place to aid in maintaining the schooling structure and accountability systems that are put in place to ensure individual professional development and the generational community in overall.

Good Essay About The Learning Environment

Part 1: the learning environment.

After reviewing the planned lay out for the new teacher’s classroom, I would suggest that shelving for toys and library shelves for books be placed against walls and secured safely to prevent them from falling on a child. Additionally, any sizable object in the center of the room might make it difficult for the teacher to see around, therefore unable to stop any unsafe activity.

Impact of Technology on High School Education Today and Past Essays Example

Technology has affected every aspect of human life. It has also affected our education and the way we used to study in the past. Today a number of changes have occurred in the fields of education that benefits students in several ways. This paper intends to discuss how technology has affected the education along with discussing how people used to study in their high schools in the past and what changes have occurred in the high school study due to use of technology in recent times.

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Example of essay on english as second language in teaching.

English is the language of the world. International business environment, IT sector, international law use English in their everyday activity. That’s why, in order to be integrated into the modern world, everyone should speak English.

Good Essay On IEP Plan for Marie

The paper is going to explain about the considerations factored in Marie’s Individualized Education Program (IEP) plan. In order to attain this, it will justify the composition of the respective team members in developing the program. It will highlight the problems faced during the development of the package. In addition, the writing will give the rationale behind the identified goals, objectives/benchmarks used. Lastly, the script will identify the contribution that the project gives in my professional development in relation to the core values such as social justice, integrity, equity, excellence, collaboration and/or community.

Sample Essay On Information Systems Management

This analysis shows consistency of performance among the first category of students that the district education researched. There are no widespread differences in their performance. There is a positive trend where student’s portrays consistency in terms of performance. The analysis of the first year shows a positive trend of performance. This can be attributed to factors like; lack of knowledge by the teachers about the on-going research

FINAL Assessment Exercise Essay Example

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Elizabeth Ellsworth is the author the book “Why Doesn't This Feel Empowering? Working through the Repressive Myths of Critical Pedagogy” On her book, Ellsworth states that the discussion of critical pedagogy should be derived from rationalist assumptions that facilitate oppressive myths. While explaining the critical pedagogy concept she reflects her position as a professor, and a middle-class and white women in a discussion with a group of student from diverse background. In her book, Ellsworth critiques the concepts of dialogue, empowerment, critical reflection and student voice.

The Role of a Teacher Essay Examples

Essay on similarities between college and high school.

There are similarities between college and high school; for example, the students of each make their own decisions about which subjects to study. However, there are also many differences between the two types of establishment. Over all, the main difference is that a college student is expected to take a much higher level of responsibility than a high school student regarding himself and his studies.

Getting a College Education Essay Sample

Process of communication essay sample.

In very simple terms communication can be defined as information transmission or an exchange of ideas between parties (assuming that the message is received and fully understood). However, a more detailed definition of communication can be given with consideration to the purpose and the framework of the communication process. Although current technology level has expanded the notion of communication far beyond a face-to-face conversation, the empirical evidence has demonstrated that personal contact significantly enhances dialogue between the parties, while all the technology-driven communication means, such e-mails and phones, remain inferior compared to discussing in person.

Essay On Overcoming the Language Barrier

This semester was very challenging for me. I came to New York City from Brazil and I encountered many problems that are very popular among international students. The main problem is of course language barrier. It was very hard for me to speak in front of other people. It is really frustrating when you cannot find the right words to express what you think or feel. And I was getting very upset when that happened.

English as a Second Language in Great Britain Essay Examples

Essay on history then and now.

Is learning about the past pointless if the lessons are not applied to the present? This has been a point of debate by many people including a professor of ancient Roman history who supports the sentiment.

Essay On Things Happen

Lesson reflection plan essay.

Reflection:

Sample Essay About Corporal Punishment

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Journal on Excellence in College Teaching

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The Effects of Quizzes for Credit Versus for No Credit on Student Performance

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Transfer and Transform: Bridging the Credits Gap From Community Colleges to Four-Year Colleges

Multi-faceted mentoring in a residential college setting in southern china, assessing outcomes of an antiracism unit in a required first-year seminar, a course redesign program highlighting faculty identity as the key to pedagogical reform, challenging chronology: social learning in teaching arts and humanities, cultivating interprofessional collaboration through faculty learning communities, about the journal.

The  Journal on Excellence in College Teaching  is a peer-reviewed journal published at Miami University by and for faculty at universities and two- and four-year colleges to increase student learning through effective teaching, interest in and enthusiasm for the profession of teaching, and communication among faculty about their classroom experiences. The  Journal  provides a scholarly, written forum for discussion by faculty about all areas affecting teaching and learning, and gives faculty the opportunity to share proven, innovative pedagogies.

Journal on Excellence in College Teaching Center for Teaching Excellence Miami University 317 Laws Hall Oxford, Ohio 45056

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College Essays

If you grow up to be a professional writer, everything you write will first go through an editor before being published. This is because the process of writing is really a process of re-writing —of rethinking and reexamining your work, usually with the help of someone else. So what does this mean for your student writing? And in particular, what does it mean for very important, but nonprofessional writing like your college essay? Should you ask your parents to look at your essay? Pay for an essay service?

If you are wondering what kind of help you can, and should, get with your personal statement, you've come to the right place! In this article, I'll talk about what kind of writing help is useful, ethical, and even expected for your college admission essay . I'll also point out who would make a good editor, what the differences between editing and proofreading are, what to expect from a good editor, and how to spot and stay away from a bad one.

Table of Contents

What Kind of Help for Your Essay Can You Get?

What's Good Editing?

What should an editor do for you, what kind of editing should you avoid, proofreading, what's good proofreading, what kind of proofreading should you avoid.

What Do Colleges Think Of You Getting Help With Your Essay?

Who Can/Should Help You?

Advice for editors.

Should You Pay Money For Essay Editing?

The Bottom Line

What's next, what kind of help with your essay can you get.

Rather than talking in general terms about "help," let's first clarify the two different ways that someone else can improve your writing . There is editing, which is the more intensive kind of assistance that you can use throughout the whole process. And then there's proofreading, which is the last step of really polishing your final product.

Let me go into some more detail about editing and proofreading, and then explain how good editors and proofreaders can help you."

Editing is helping the author (in this case, you) go from a rough draft to a finished work . Editing is the process of asking questions about what you're saying, how you're saying it, and how you're organizing your ideas. But not all editing is good editing . In fact, it's very easy for an editor to cross the line from supportive to overbearing and over-involved.

Ability to clarify assignments. A good editor is usually a good writer, and certainly has to be a good reader. For example, in this case, a good editor should make sure you understand the actual essay prompt you're supposed to be answering.

Open-endedness. Good editing is all about asking questions about your ideas and work, but without providing answers. It's about letting you stick to your story and message, and doesn't alter your point of view.

Think of an editor as a great travel guide. It can show you the many different places your trip could take you. It should explain any parts of the trip that could derail your trip or confuse the traveler. But it never dictates your path, never forces you to go somewhere you don't want to go, and never ignores your interests so that the trip no longer seems like it's your own. So what should good editors do?

Help Brainstorm Topics

Sometimes it's easier to bounce thoughts off of someone else. This doesn't mean that your editor gets to come up with ideas, but they can certainly respond to the various topic options you've come up with. This way, you're less likely to write about the most boring of your ideas, or to write about something that isn't actually important to you.

If you're wondering how to come up with options for your editor to consider, check out our guide to brainstorming topics for your college essay .

Help Revise Your Drafts

Here, your editor can't upset the delicate balance of not intervening too much or too little. It's tricky, but a great way to think about it is to remember: editing is about asking questions, not giving answers .

Revision questions should point out:

• Places where more detail or more description would help the reader connect with your essay
• Places where structure and logic don't flow, losing the reader's attention
• Places where there aren't transitions between paragraphs, confusing the reader
• Moments where your narrative or the arguments you're making are unclear

But pointing to potential problems is not the same as actually rewriting—editors let authors fix the problems themselves.

Bad editing is usually very heavy-handed editing. Instead of helping you find your best voice and ideas, a bad editor changes your writing into their own vision.

You may be dealing with a bad editor if they:

• Add material (examples, descriptions) that doesn't come from you
• Use a thesaurus to make your college essay sound "more mature"
• Add meaning or insight to the essay that doesn't come from you
• Tell you what to say and how to say it
• Write sentences, phrases, and paragraphs for you
• Change your voice in the essay so it no longer sounds like it was written by a teenager

Colleges can tell the difference between a 17-year-old's writing and a 50-year-old's writing. Not only that, they have access to your SAT or ACT Writing section, so they can compare your essay to something else you wrote. Writing that's a little more polished is great and expected. But a totally different voice and style will raise questions.

Where's the Line Between Helpful Editing and Unethical Over-Editing?

Sometimes it's hard to tell whether your college essay editor is doing the right thing. Here are some guidelines for staying on the ethical side of the line.

• An editor should say that the opening paragraph is kind of boring, and explain what exactly is making it drag. But it's overstepping for an editor to tell you exactly how to change it.
• An editor should point out where your prose is unclear or vague. But it's completely inappropriate for the editor to rewrite that section of your essay.
• An editor should let you know that a section is light on detail or description. But giving you similes and metaphors to beef up that description is a no-go.

Proofreading (also called copy-editing) is checking for errors in the last draft of a written work. It happens at the end of the process and is meant as the final polishing touch. Proofreading is meticulous and detail-oriented, focusing on small corrections. It sands off all the surface rough spots that could alienate the reader.

Because proofreading is usually concerned with making fixes on the word or sentence level, this is the only process where someone else can actually add to or take away things from your essay . This is because what they are adding or taking away tends to be one or two misplaced letters.

Laser focus. Proofreading is all about the tiny details, so the ability to really concentrate on finding small slip-ups is a must.

Excellent grammar and spelling skills. Proofreaders need to dot every "i" and cross every "t." Good proofreaders should correct spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and grammar. They should put foreign words in italics and surround quotations with quotation marks. They should check that you used the correct college's name, and that you adhered to any formatting requirements (name and date at the top of the page, uniform font and size, uniform spacing).

Limited interference. A proofreader needs to make sure that you followed any word limits. But if cuts need to be made to shorten the essay, that's your job and not the proofreader's.

A bad proofreader either tries to turn into an editor, or just lacks the skills and knowledge necessary to do the job.

Some signs that you're working with a bad proofreader are:

• If they suggest making major changes to the final draft of your essay. Proofreading happens when editing is already finished.
• If they aren't particularly good at spelling, or don't know grammar, or aren't detail-oriented enough to find someone else's small mistakes.
• If they start swapping out your words for fancier-sounding synonyms, or changing the voice and sound of your essay in other ways. A proofreader is there to check for errors, not to take the 17-year-old out of your writing.

What Do Colleges Think of Your Getting Help With Your Essay?

Admissions officers agree: light editing and proofreading are good—even required ! But they also want to make sure you're the one doing the work on your essay. They want essays with stories, voice, and themes that come from you. They want to see work that reflects your actual writing ability, and that focuses on what you find important.

On the Importance of Editing

Get feedback. Have a fresh pair of eyes give you some feedback. Don't allow someone else to rewrite your essay, but do take advantage of others' edits and opinions when they seem helpful. ( Bates College )

Read your essay aloud to someone. Reading the essay out loud offers a chance to hear how your essay sounds outside your head. This exercise reveals flaws in the essay's flow, highlights grammatical errors and helps you ensure that you are communicating the exact message you intended. ( Dickinson College )

On the Value of Proofreading

Share your essays with at least one or two people who know you well—such as a parent, teacher, counselor, or friend—and ask for feedback. Remember that you ultimately have control over your essays, and your essays should retain your own voice, but others may be able to catch mistakes that you missed and help suggest areas to cut if you are over the word limit. ( Yale University )

Proofread and then ask someone else to proofread for you. Although we want substance, we also want to be able to see that you can write a paper for our professors and avoid careless mistakes that would drive them crazy. ( Oberlin College )

On Watching Out for Too Much Outside Influence

Limit the number of people who review your essay. Too much input usually means your voice is lost in the writing style. ( Carleton College )

Ask for input (but not too much). Your parents, friends, guidance counselors, coaches, and teachers are great people to bounce ideas off of for your essay. They know how unique and spectacular you are, and they can help you decide how to articulate it. Keep in mind, however, that a 45-year-old lawyer writes quite differently from an 18-year-old student, so if your dad ends up writing the bulk of your essay, we're probably going to notice. ( Vanderbilt University )

Now let's talk about some potential people to approach for your college essay editing and proofreading needs. It's best to start close to home and slowly expand outward. Not only are your family and friends more invested in your success than strangers, but they also have a better handle on your interests and personality. This knowledge is key for judging whether your essay is expressing your true self.

Parents or Close Relatives

Your family may be full of potentially excellent editors! Parents are deeply committed to your well-being, and family members know you and your life well enough to offer details or incidents that can be included in your essay. On the other hand, the rewriting process necessarily involves criticism, which is sometimes hard to hear from someone very close to you.

A parent or close family member is a great choice for an editor if you can answer "yes" to the following questions. Is your parent or close relative a good writer or reader? Do you have a relationship where editing your essay won't create conflict? Are you able to constructively listen to criticism and suggestion from the parent?

One suggestion for defusing face-to-face discussions is to try working on the essay over email. Send your parent a draft, have them write you back some comments, and then you can pick which of their suggestions you want to use and which to discard.

Teachers or Tutors

A humanities teacher that you have a good relationship with is a great choice. I am purposefully saying humanities, and not just English, because teachers of Philosophy, History, Anthropology, and any other classes where you do a lot of writing, are all used to reviewing student work.

Moreover, any teacher or tutor that has been working with you for some time, knows you very well and can vet the essay to make sure it "sounds like you."

If your teacher or tutor has some experience with what college essays are supposed to be like, ask them to be your editor. If not, then ask whether they have time to proofread your final draft.

Guidance or College Counselor at Your School

The best thing about asking your counselor to edit your work is that this is their job. This means that they have a very good sense of what colleges are looking for in an application essay.

At the same time, school counselors tend to have relationships with admissions officers in many colleges, which again gives them insight into what works and which college is focused on what aspect of the application.

Unfortunately, in many schools the guidance counselor tends to be way overextended. If your ratio is 300 students to 1 college counselor, you're unlikely to get that person's undivided attention and focus. It is still useful to ask them for general advice about your potential topics, but don't expect them to be able to stay with your essay from first draft to final version.

Friends, Siblings, or Classmates

Although they most likely don't have much experience with what colleges are hoping to see, your peers are excellent sources for checking that your essay is you .

Friends and siblings are perfect for the read-aloud edit. Read your essay to them so they can listen for words and phrases that are stilted, pompous, or phrases that just don't sound like you.

You can even trade essays and give helpful advice on each other's work.

If your editor hasn't worked with college admissions essays very much, no worries! Any astute and attentive reader can still greatly help with your process. But, as in all things, beginners do better with some preparation.

First, your editor should read our advice about how to write a college essay introduction , how to spot and fix a bad college essay , and get a sense of what other students have written by going through some admissions essays that worked .

Then, as they read your essay, they can work through the following series of questions that will help them to guide you.

Introduction Questions

• Is the first sentence a killer opening line? Why or why not?
• Does the introduction hook the reader? Does it have a colorful, detailed, and interesting narrative? Or does it propose a compelling or surprising idea?
• Can you feel the author's voice in the introduction, or is the tone dry, dull, or overly formal? Show the places where the voice comes through.

Essay Body Questions

• Does the essay have a through-line? Is it built around a central argument, thought, idea, or focus? Can you put this idea into your own words?
• How is the essay organized? By logical progression? Chronologically? Do you feel order when you read it, or are there moments where you are confused or lose the thread of the essay?
• Does the essay have both narratives about the author's life and explanations and insight into what these stories reveal about the author's character, personality, goals, or dreams? If not, which is missing?
• Does the essay flow? Are there smooth transitions/clever links between paragraphs? Between the narrative and moments of insight?

Reader Response Questions

• Does the writer's personality come through? Do we know what the speaker cares about? Do we get a sense of "who he or she is"?
• Where did you feel most connected to the essay? Which parts of the essay gave you a "you are there" sensation by invoking your senses? What moments could you picture in your head well?
• Where are the details and examples vague and not specific enough?
• Did you get an "a-ha!" feeling anywhere in the essay? Is there a moment of insight that connected all the dots for you? Is there a good reveal or "twist" anywhere in the essay?
• What are the strengths of this essay? What needs the most improvement?

Should You Pay Money for Essay Editing?

One alternative to asking someone you know to help you with your college essay is the paid editor route. There are two different ways to pay for essay help: a private essay coach or a less personal editing service , like the many proliferating on the internet.

My advice is to think of these options as a last resort rather than your go-to first choice. I'll first go through the reasons why. Then, if you do decide to go with a paid editor, I'll help you decide between a coach and a service.

When to Consider a Paid Editor

In general, I think hiring someone to work on your essay makes a lot of sense if none of the people I discussed above are a possibility for you.

If you can't ask your parents. For example, if your parents aren't good writers, or if English isn't their first language. Or if you think getting your parents to help is going create unnecessary extra conflict in your relationship with them (applying to college is stressful as it is!)

If you can't ask your teacher or tutor. Maybe you don't have a trusted teacher or tutor that has time to look over your essay with focus. Or, for instance, your favorite humanities teacher has very limited experience with college essays and so won't know what admissions officers want to see.

If you can't ask your guidance counselor. This could be because your guidance counselor is way overwhelmed with other students.

If you can't share your essay with those who know you. It might be that your essay is on a very personal topic that you're unwilling to share with parents, teachers, or peers. Just make sure it doesn't fall into one of the bad-idea topics in our article on bad college essays .

If the cost isn't a consideration. Many of these services are quite expensive, and private coaches even more so. If you have finite resources, I'd say that hiring an SAT or ACT tutor (whether it's PrepScholar or someone else) is better way to spend your money . This is because there's no guarantee that a slightly better essay will sufficiently elevate the rest of your application, but a significantly higher SAT score will definitely raise your applicant profile much more.

Should You Hire an Essay Coach?

On the plus side, essay coaches have read dozens or even hundreds of college essays, so they have experience with the format. Also, because you'll be working closely with a specific person, it's more personal than sending your essay to a service, which will know even less about you.

But, on the minus side, you'll still be bouncing ideas off of someone who doesn't know that much about you . In general, if you can adequately get the help from someone you know, there is no advantage to paying someone to help you.

If you do decide to hire a coach, ask your school counselor, or older students that have used the service for recommendations. If you can't afford the coach's fees, ask whether they can work on a sliding scale —many do. And finally, beware those who guarantee admission to your school of choice—essay coaches don't have any special magic that can back up those promises.

Should You Send Your Essay to a Service?

On the plus side, essay editing services provide a similar product to essay coaches, and they cost significantly less . If you have some assurance that you'll be working with a good editor, the lack of face-to-face interaction won't prevent great results.

On the minus side, however, it can be difficult to gauge the quality of the service before working with them . If they are churning through many application essays without getting to know the students they are helping, you could end up with an over-edited essay that sounds just like everyone else's. In the worst case scenario, an unscrupulous service could send you back a plagiarized essay.

Getting recommendations from friends or a school counselor for reputable services is key to avoiding heavy-handed editing that writes essays for you or does too much to change your essay. Including a badly-edited essay like this in your application could cause problems if there are inconsistencies. For example, in interviews it might be clear you didn't write the essay, or the skill of the essay might not be reflected in your schoolwork and test scores.

Should You Buy an Essay Written by Someone Else?

Let me elaborate. There are super sketchy places on the internet where you can simply buy a pre-written essay. Don't do this!

For one thing, you'll be lying on an official, signed document. All college applications make you sign a statement saying something like this:

I certify that all information submitted in the admission process—including the application, the personal essay, any supplements, and any other supporting materials—is my own work, factually true, and honestly presented... I understand that I may be subject to a range of possible disciplinary actions, including admission revocation, expulsion, or revocation of course credit, grades, and degree, should the information I have certified be false. (From the Common Application )

For another thing, if your academic record doesn't match the essay's quality, the admissions officer will start thinking your whole application is riddled with lies.

Admission officers have full access to your writing portion of the SAT or ACT so that they can compare work that was done in proctored conditions with that done at home. They can tell if these were written by different people. Not only that, but there are now a number of search engines that faculty and admission officers can use to see if an essay contains strings of words that have appeared in other essays—you have no guarantee that the essay you bought wasn't also bought by 50 other students.

• You should get college essay help with both editing and proofreading
• A good editor will ask questions about your idea, logic, and structure, and will point out places where clarity is needed
• A good editor will absolutely not answer these questions, give you their own ideas, or write the essay or parts of the essay for you
• A good proofreader will find typos and check your formatting
• All of them agree that getting light editing and proofreading is necessary
• Parents, teachers, guidance or college counselor, and peers or siblings
• If you can't ask any of those, you can pay for college essay help, but watch out for services or coaches who over-edit you work
• Don't buy a pre-written essay! Colleges can tell, and it'll make your whole application sound false.

Ready to start working on your essay? Check out our explanation of the point of the personal essay and the role it plays on your applications and then explore our step-by-step guide to writing a great college essay .

Using the Common Application for your college applications? We have an excellent guide to the Common App essay prompts and useful advice on how to pick the Common App prompt that's right for you . Wondering how other people tackled these prompts? Then work through our roundup of over 130 real college essay examples published by colleges .

Stressed about whether to take the SAT again before submitting your application? Let us help you decide how many times to take this test . If you choose to go for it, we have the ultimate guide to studying for the SAT to give you the ins and outs of the best ways to study.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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College essays – the writing conference.

College football, pumpkin spice lattes, and college essays – happy fall y’all! Brian shared The Biggest College Essay Mistakes a few weeks ago, and I wanted to follow up with how I handle writing conferences specifically pertaining to college essays.

I spend very little time teaching the college essay but rather highlight a few points based on Brian’s information and provide samples to consider. You can find my lesson here: College Essays . We spend one 42 minute class on the basics of a college essay but my real work is not in the teaching but rather the conferencing on essays.

The real magic happens in our writing conferences – not the lesson. Here’s what I ask students to do before they meet with me:

Starting is the hardest part for students. Many students want to talk through idea #1 vs. idea #2 (vs. idea #3 vs. idea #4), but I only meet with students who have a rough draft. This is for a couple of reasons: first, it’s hard for me to think through an essay without seeing it and second, the longer the student stays in their head about writing, the harder starting the essay becomes.

Being an active writer myself, I understand how difficult starting can be, and I also know first-hand how much easier the task becomes once words are typed out. Anne Lamott in her book Bird by Bird (highly recommend) encourages fellow writers to embrace “shitty first drafts.” In other words, bad drafts are expected and part of the process. In our instant gratification society, however, students want to the first attempt to be perfect which often paralyzes them at the start. But once words are on the page, we can start manipulating them and revising. Words on the page matter. And I won’t meet with students unless they have words on a page.

Next students will need to prepare for the conference. More and more teachers are building writing conferences into their classrooms, but too many teachers do all of the talking and no listening. This is not a conference. A writing conference is a sharing of ideas – a collaboration – not a one-sided conversation, so students prepare questions before our meeting.

What do you like about this piece?

What part(s) do you think need work?

What do you think this piece showcases about you?

How would you like for me to help you?

After students have completed these two steps, they can sign up for a conference and we meet. Writing conferences typically happen in my office (the hall) either during class while students are working independently or before or after school. I have a table in the hall where we sit – shoulder to shoulder – to talk about their essay.

After asking students where they’re applying to school, students read their essay aloud. This is hard for some students but necessary. Not only do students find glitchy spots and errors when reading, many are able to tell if the writing is true to their authentic voice. Listening allows me to focus on how the essay flows because when I see words on the page, I tend to get distracted with small details of the essay.

After listening, we go through the questions. What did you like? Most students have never had a teacher ask them this, but I love to hear their answers. Students often glow when sharing what they like; they’re proud of certain parts of their writing and need time and space for this. What part(s) do you think need work? This answer gives me insight into their thinking about writing. Students often wonder if the ideas progress naturally or if it sounds too elevated. This question – more than most – provide insights that help me plan writing lessons for the whole class. What do you think this piece showcases about you? This is important for the college essay because sometimes students think they’re showcasing a characteristic about themselves but another comes across. If we’re working on a different type of essay, I change the question. What is this essay arguing? What is the central characterization offered here? etc.

Finally, how would you like for me to help you? This is probably the most key question in a writing conference. On some assignments, I give specific feedback based on the assignment without asking this question. But in a writing conference, I always ask how students want my help instead of bulldozing in with my thoughts. The writing is the theirs – not mine – and I want them to have ownership of their work and the decisions being made around it. I am always impressed with how specific students are with their answers to this question. Most center on organization, transitions, and conclusions.

A couple of other random things:

1 – Word count is usually dealt with during the final revision stage. I tell my students to ignore it while writing. What I’ve seen happen in their writing (and mine) is some of their best ideas may never make it to the paper if they cut off their writing at 650 words. Instead, I encourage students to get everything on the page then we can choose the best parts and cut the rest. I often tell students they need to write more before revisions can start.

2 – Conclusions. I advise students to either circle back to the beginning to pick up a detail in the opening narrative or forecast to the future and how what they learned will aid them moving forward. I’ll drop a couple of examples of that here tomorrow.

3 – Cutting to 650. Once we’ve got the big ideas on page and talk through which of those to keep, I ask students to cut content so they are in the 750 – 800 word range. At this point, we can do a line by line read and through elimination of unnecessary words and sentence combining, those extra 100ish words are eliminated quickly.

4 – Basic grammar is always the last revision. Ideas are the priority and take the most amount of work.

1: How do you have time for college essay writing conferences? I have a sign up sheet for conferences on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays after school. We also have allotted class time for reading during which we can confer. Students sign up on a first come, first serve basis. I usually open conferences during lunch the week before major deadlines (October 15th, November 1st) to get a few more. Students are encouraged to sign up early.

2: College essay writing isn’t on the exam, so why do this? Bottom line – I enjoy doing this work. If you don’t enjoy it or have the time for it, don’t do it and don’t feel guilty about that. Our classes won’t look exactly the same, and that’s okay.

3. Why don’t you charge for this? It’s above and beyond. My district doesn’t allow for me to tutor students I teach for profit.

Susan Barber  teaches AP Lit and Writers Workshop/Advanced Composition at Midtown High School in Atlanta, Georgia and serves as the College Board Advisor for AP Lit. In addition to reading, writing, and investing in the next generation, she loves watching college football with her family especially when Alabama is playing.

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What public k-12 teachers want americans to know about teaching.

Illustrations by Hokyoung Kim

At a time when most teachers are feeling stressed and overwhelmed in their jobs, we asked 2,531 public K-12 teachers this open-ended question:

If there’s one thing you’d want the public to know about teachers, what would it be?

We also asked Americans what they think about teachers to compare with teachers’ perceptions of how the public views them.

Related: What’s It Like To Be a Teacher in America Today?

Pew Research Center conducted this analysis to better understand what public K-12 teachers would like Americans to know about their profession. We also wanted to learn how the public thinks about teachers.

For the open-end question, we surveyed 2,531 U.S. public K-12 teachers from Oct. 17 to Nov. 14, 2023. The teachers surveyed are members of RAND’s American Teacher Panel, a nationally representative panel of public K-12 school teachers recruited through MDR Education. Survey data is weighted to state and national teacher characteristics to account for differences in sampling and response to ensure they are representative of the target population.

Overall, 96% of surveyed teachers provided an answer to the open-ended question. Center researchers developed a coding scheme categorizing the responses, coded all responses, and then grouped them into the six themes explored in the data essay.

For the questions for the general public, we surveyed 5,029 U.S. adults from Nov. 9 to Nov. 16, 2023. The adults surveyed are members of the Ipsos KnowledgePanel, a nationally representative online survey panel. Panel members are randomly recruited through probability-based sampling, and households are provided with access to the Internet and hardware if needed. To ensure that the results of this survey reflect a balanced cross section of the nation, the data is weighted to match the U.S. adult population by gender, age, education, race and ethnicity and other categories.

Here are the questions used for this analysis , along with responses, the teacher survey methodology and the general public survey methodology .

Most of the responses to the open-ended question fell into one of these six themes:

Teaching is a hard job

About half of teachers (51%) said they want the public to know that teaching is a difficult job and that teachers are hardworking. Within this share, many mentioned that they have roles and responsibilities in the classroom besides teaching, which makes the job stressful. Many also talked about working long hours, beyond those they’re contracted for.

“Teachers serve multiple roles other than being responsible for teaching curriculum. We are counselors, behavioral specialists and parents for students who need us to fill those roles. We sacrifice a lot to give all of ourselves to the role as teacher.”

– Elementary school teacher

“The amount of extra hours that teachers have to put in beyond the contractual time is ridiculous. Arriving 30 minutes before and leaving an hour after is just the tip of the iceberg. … And as far as ‘having summers off,’ most of August is taken up with preparing materials for the upcoming school year or attending three, four, seven days’ worth of unpaid development training.”

– High school teacher

Teachers care about their students

The next most common theme: 22% of teachers brought up how fulfilling teaching is and how much teachers care about their students. Many gave examples of the hardships of teaching but reaffirmed that they do their job because they love the kids and helping them succeed. 

“We are passionate about what we do. Every child we teach is important to us and we look out for them like they are our own.”

– Middle school teacher

“We are in it for the kids, and the most incredible moments are when children make connections with learning.”

Teachers are undervalued and disrespected

Some 17% of teachers want the public to know that they feel undervalued and disrespected, and that they need more public support. Some mentioned that they are well-educated professionals but are not treated as such. And many teachers in this category responded with a general plea for support from the public, which they don’t feel they’re getting now.

“We feel undervalued. The public and many parents of my students treat me and my peers as if we do not know as much as they do, as if we are uneducated.”

“The public attitudes toward teachers have been degrading, and it is making it impossible for well-qualified teachers to be found. People are simply not wanting to go into the profession because of public sentiments.”

Teachers are underpaid

A similar share of teachers (15%) want the public to know that teachers are underpaid. Many teachers said their salary doesn’t account for the effort and care they put into their students’ education and believe that their pay should reflect this.

“We are sorely underpaid for the amount of hours we work and the education level we have attained.”

Teachers need support and resources from government and administrators

About one-in-ten teachers (9%) said they need more support from the government, their administrators and other key stakeholders. Many mentioned working in understaffed schools, not having enough funding and paying for supplies out of pocket. Some teachers also expressed that they have little control over the curriculum that they teach.

“The world-class education we used to be proud of does not exist because of all the red tape we are constantly navigating. If you want to see real change in the classroom, advocate for smaller class sizes for your child, push your district to cap class sizes at a reasonable level and have real, authentic conversations with your child’s teacher about what is going on in the classroom if you’re curious.”

Teachers need more support from parents

Roughly the same share of teachers (8%) want the public to know that teachers need more support from parents, emphasizing that the parent-teacher relationship is strained. Many view parents as partners in their child’s education and believe that a strong relationship improves kids’ overall social and emotional development.

“Teachers help students to reach their potential. However, that job is near impossible if parents/guardians do not take an active part in their student’s education.”

How the U.S. public views teachers

While the top response from teachers in the open-ended question is that they want the public to know that teaching is a hard job, most Americans already see it that way. Two-thirds of U.S. adults say being a public K-12 teacher is harder than most other jobs, with 33% saying it’s a lot harder.

And about three-quarters of Americans (74%) say teachers should be paid more than they are now, including 39% who say teachers should be paid a lot more.

Americans are about evenly divided on whether the public generally looks up to (32%) or down on (30%) public K-12 teachers. Some 37% say Americans neither look up to or down on public K-12 teachers.

In addition to the open-ended question about what they want the public to know about them, we asked teachers how much they think most Americans trust public K-12 teachers to do their job well. We also asked the public how much they trust teachers. Answers differ considerably.

Nearly half of public K-12 teachers (47%) say most Americans don’t trust teachers much or at all. A third say most Americans trust teachers some, and 18% say the public trusts teachers a great deal or a fair amount.

In contrast, a majority of Americans (57%) say they do trust public K-12 teachers to do their job well a great deal or a fair amount. About a quarter (26%) say they trust teachers some, and 17% say they don’t trust teachers much or at all.

Related: About half of Americans say public K-12 education is going in the wrong direction

How the public’s views differ by party

There are sizable party differences in Americans’ views of teachers. In particular, Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents are more likely than Republicans and Republican leaners to say:

• They trust teachers to do their job well a great deal or a fair amount (70% vs. 44%)
• Teaching is a lot or somewhat harder when compared with most other jobs (77% vs. 59%)
• Teachers should be paid a lot or somewhat more than they are now (86% vs. 63%)

In their own words

Below, we have a selection of quotes that describe what teachers want the public to know about them and their profession.

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Expect Unexpected Engagement When you try Hexagonal Thinking in ELA

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Try Teaching The College Essay like This

• September 12, 2023

I have to admit that even though I wrote three college essays, got into college, went to college, got my graduate degree in English and taught English for many years, I never really understood the college essay until a year ago. When I listened to this workshop on this very podcast , given by two high school college counsellors and two experienced university admissions officers.

Sure, I knew that the essay was a chance for kids to show off their writing skills and share about themselves. I knew that specific, vivid examples and clear writing were important. But I didn’t really understand the one message that came through in all caps from the workshop – that students should write about what they actually care about – there’s no secret mystery topic that colleges are actually hoping to hear about.

So it won’t come as a surprise to you that I think you should start your college essay unit by playing this workshop, but then what? Once student know what colleges ACTUALLY want from their essay, how can you help them write it? Well, that’s what THIS podcast is for. To give you a step-by-step plan for helping kids write their essays this fall.

By the way, I’ve created a curriculum set to help you out with teaching the college essay. You can sign up for the free kit right here.

You can listen in to this episode below,  click here to tune in  on any podcast player, or read on for the full post.

Start with the College Essay Workshop

Start your unit with episode 160 of this podcast, and let students hear what makes the best college essays straight from the experts. Have students use the sketchnotes template in your free curriculum set to take notes on their main takeaways from each of the four speakers.

After student listen and complete their sketchnotes, have everyone work together on a big anchor chart of workshop takeaways on your whiteboard, chalkboard, or wall that you can keep up throughout the unit.

For Kids Not Going To College Right Now

A quick note here about kids who say they don’t want to write college essays because they’ve planned a different future. There are several ways you might let them choose their own adventure during a college essay unit.

One option would be to suggest they do this work anyway, in case they change their mind later, or apply to any type of program or job that requires a personal statement. 

Another would be to let them use the time to move through an alternate set of curriculum – perhaps to create a resume and schedule job interviews, or to create another type of personal writing.

Take a Look at Mentor Texts related to the College Essay

Once kids understand what they’re hoping to achieve with their college essay, another helpful step is to look at some examples of personal writing. There are so many mentor texts out there to choose from. In the examples below, students are exploring a time-lapse video essay called “ Enryo ” and a piece from the online collection Humans of New York.

But of course, you could also use actual college essays, or other personal writing that you love. Help students explore strong elements of the personal writing like the way the pieces start, show specific and vivid example, portray personal evolution and end effectively.

Time to Brainstorm for Students’ Own College Essays

Of course there are a million different ways to brainstorm before writing, but here are three possibilities.

Workshop One: Imagery

Have students think about their life in images. Maybe they look through their phone photos, their sketchbook, or their parents’ photo books of their younger years. Invite them to find three images that show important pieces of themselves. From there, they can start to write about the image that is most powerful, or write a little about them all just to being building a library of ideas.

Workshop Two: Soundtrack

Here again student can think about their senses. What playlists, albums, records, music videos, etc. have played a big role in their lives? Invite them to spend time choosing a song or several songs that have woven through their experiences, and then think about whether those songs lead them to topics they really care about.

Workshop Three: Timeline

For this brainstorming workshop, invite your students to create a timeline of important moments in their lives, starting when they where young. Then they can consider, do any of these moments – alone or together – lead them to a topic that’s really important to them?

Reinforcing the Importance of Specificity in College Essays

As students narrow in on topic ideas, you might want to revisit the topic of specificity. Helping kids remember that specific examples and details are what will really show who they are and how they’ve evolved is so important. You might go through some examples of vague descriptive language or even full vague paragraphs and have student pairs or small groups work through how to rewrite them with specific (imagined) details.

Drafting College Essays

Once students have chosen topics, they may feel a little overwhelmed about where to start. Brainstorming and workshopping from different angles can help. You might want to revisit some of the same multimedia angles from earlier, guiding them to explore photos, videos, drawings, papers, music, etc. from their lives that relate to their chosen topic and even create a timeline style representation of how the topic has shown up in their life and impacted them.

Eventually, they’ll need to start playing with how their memories, stories, and examples can fit together to show an element of who they are and how they’ve evolved. And they’ll need to make choices to show truly vivid powerful moments (or even one vivid powerful moment) rather than a long retelling of every aspect of their life related to their topic.

Peer & Self Editing of College Essays

As students work on their pieces, build in a day for self-editing and another one for peer-editing, referencing back through your checklists and guiding questions to the original expert workshop and anchor chart on your wall. Have students written about what they truly care about? Is that obvious? Does it sound like them? Is it full of vivid, memorable, specific language? Does it avoid the trap of simply trying to please some admissions officer?

Bask in your Success

Once students are finally done with their essays or resumes/job applications, it could be a good day for a small celebration!

You might create a bulletin board with pictures from colleges and careers students are interested in (and maybe QR codes to some scholarship applications), share your own college and career experience and advice, or even invite a few speakers in (alums? parents? the college counsellor at your school?) to talk about the transition to college or career and what helped them in their first year out of school.

Don’t forget, you can pick up the free curriculum set for the college essay right here. And Lighthouse members, you’ve got all the handouts pictured in today’s post in the “College and Careers” section of our membership.

I’ll help you find the creative ELA strategies that will light up your classroom. Get ready for joyful teaching!

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Ask a Psychologist

Helping students thrive now.

Angela Duckworth and other behavioral-science experts offer advice to teachers based on scientific research. To submit questions, use this form or #helpstudentsthrive. Read more from this blog.

Teachers Want to Create a Classroom Learning Culture. Here’s How It’s Done

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How do I create a culture of learning?

What you don’t do is as important as what you do. Here’s something I wrote about the topic for Character Lab as a Tip of the Week :

If I had a plan for doing well in 7th grade, it was this: Memorize and regurgitate.

But my English teacher, Mr. Gibbons, wasn’t very cooperative. He would assign an Emily Dickinson poem and ask the class, “What does it mean?” I didn’t know the answer, and he wouldn’t feed it to us. He would wrinkle his brow and say, “Hmmm,” like he was wondering what the poem meant, too.

After a while, my classmates and I began asking questions. Over time, we got to practice figuring things out rather than just reciting what we had been told.

Research shows that creating a learning culture , like Mr. Gibbons did for my class, can help middle schoolers grapple with what they don’t understand and grow as a result.

What are the hallmarks of learning cultures? They value intellectual humility and curiosity. They put understanding above getting a top grade, feeling comfortable, or looking smart.

In the research study, teachers who created learning cultures were more likely to have students who, at the end of the school year, could admit what they didn’t know—they grew in intellectual humility. And the effects lasted beyond that year and into the next. This means that learning cultures didn’t just change students in the moment—they changed them in the long run.

Why is it important to have intellectual humility? Students who are unembarrassed to reveal when they’re confused tend to be more persistent and show more resilience. They’re also more tolerant of people with views that differ from their own and resist either/or thinking—something most of us are trying to work on and practice.

Don’t ask only easy questions or rush to give answers.

Do create a learning culture in your family or classroom. At dinner, talk about something new you learned today. At school, encourage students to show what they don’t know (yet). After all, you can’t learn what you already know.

The opinions expressed in Ask a Psychologist: Helping Students Thrive Now are strictly those of the author(s) and do not reflect the opinions or endorsement of Editorial Projects in Education, or any of its publications.

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Becoming a journalist, writer, or teacher with an NAU philosophy degree

College advice from William F. Nietmann, Professor Emeritus, NAU Department of Philosophy

Edited by University Marketing

With a philosophy degree, you will have the freedom and flexibility to pursue jobs in a range of different fields, including education, journalism, and writing. The position of lead philosopher may be hard to come by these days, but the great thing about getting your degree in philosophy is that you’ll develop important life skills such as discernment, analysis, and communication. Philosophy bakes no bread , as we say, but it does provide an education in the skill of thinking, which opens up doors in the working world.

How philosophy ties into pursuing a journalism career

A philosophy degree provides an excellent foundation for future journalists. As philosophers, we train to become experts in the art of discernment—also known as the ability to have sound judgment. Can you think of a better quality for journalists to cultivate?

NAU also offers excellent journalism programs that you can combine with your philosophy degree. You’ll graduate ready to tackle the world’s most significant issues.

Philosophy is an ideal choice for students who want to become writers

You can certainly become a writer as a philosophy major. In fact, writing is one of the skills you will flex the most as a philosophy student. In addition, you’ll develop your ability to read, reason with, and analyze a text at hand. The NAU Department of Philosophy has seen our students go on to become fiction, nonfiction, and professional writers .

Future teachers will find value in their philosophy courses

NAU philosophy students have become elementary and high school as well as college teachers, from kindergarten to English class. In most states, philosophy is not taught in high school, so philosophy students will obtain a humanities certification to teach in public high schools.

It’s important to note that many state boards of education require specific certifications for elementary teachers. NAU’s College of Education is the central hub for all of our elementary education programs, while majors and minors in secondary fall under their own academic colleges.

It’s also possible to combine your philosophy degree with a major or minor in one of your other passions. Andrea Holmen , from the class of 2009, was a double major in Philosophy and Physics who went on to teach science through the Peace Corps.

Becoming a philosophy professor

Finding a job to teach philosophy at the college level can be difficult, but it is possible. With a doctoral degree in the field, you’ll have the highest chance of finding the right position. That’s a

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Teaching Writing in College (SAMLA)

SAMLA 96: CFP for “Teaching Writing in College” Session

November 15–17, 2024

Hyatt Regency Jacksonville Riverfront, Jacksonville, FL

The “Teaching Writing in College” session welcomes all submissions about writing instruction, particularly ones related to the conference theme: “Seen and Unseen.” Teaching college writing, from first-year composition to intensive writing courses, distills the challenges that instructors and students regularly face in detecting the extent of learning. Learning, as a process, tends to become more obscure as we more exclusively assess products meant to show that it has occurred. In the end, students and instructors are likely to pay most of their attention to the visible, quantifiable, and measurable product. Both also know that a product taken to show achievement can hide or misrepresent that learning has happened. This problem arises when students pretend to move toward learning outcomes by leveraging gradable products and when students do move toward learning outcomes but struggle to demonstrate that effort through available measures.

Of course, the theme of “Seen and Unseen” applies to writing classrooms in numerous ways that influence how we think about and practice teaching: impact of non-cognitive factors on learning fitness, attitudes toward reading and writing as practices of learning, perceived value of liberal education, future outcomes of current pedagogies, levels of effort and motivation, reliance on generative AI. What instructors need to know about students the most might precisely be what remains hidden, immune to data measures that commonly inform state policy and publishable research. If we cannot know the particulars, we can at least imagine the obstacles they might construct. This pedagogical problem invites revision not only of assessment and grading methods but also of instructional content itself. Some topics that might address the “Seen and Unseen” in writing instruction include, but are not limited to, the following:

Amplifying student engagement in instructional spaces

Interplay of reading and writing practice in building composition skills

Ungrading: assessing labor, engagement, and time on task

Pedagogies of civic engagement, service learning, and social justice

Reading and writing about reading and writing

Modeling exigency in the classroom

Online, hybrid, and traditional classroom pedagogies for writing instruction

Feedback practices, feedback literacy, feedback engagement

21st-century modes, technologies, and tools in writing courses

Presentations that foreground student work and promote interaction with audience members are welcome and encouraged. Please submit, in a Word document, an abstract (250-400 words), a brief bio, and A/V requests to Matthew Horton, Chair, at [email protected] . Deadline: June 7, 2024.