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The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak – review

A fictionalised account of the 12th-century Islamic theologian-poet Rumi and his relationship with the Sufi mystic Shams of Tabriz may not have immense popular appeal. Shafak has written exactly this, called it Sweet Blasphemy and wrapped it up inside a more digestible outer layer: like a sweet pastry with a very chewy filling. Ella, "a nonpractising Jew and an aspiring vegetarian", is hitting 40 and has done well to get a job with a literary agency after many years as a housewife. We may suspect a convenient plot device when the very first book she is asked to read is the said Sweet Blasphemy , wherein Shams's "forty rules of love" (love of God, that is) are carefully set out. This is didacticism thinly disguised as fiction. The chapters about Ella read like a case study in a popular psychology book ("she was satisfied to be a stay-at-home mom and grateful that she and her husband could afford it"), while the Sufi doctrine of living in the moment and moving ever closer to God may possibly appeal to those in search of meaning in life. It's Eat, Pray, Love plus 37 more imperatives.

Elif Shafak

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THE FORTY RULES OF LOVE

by Elif Shafak ‧ RELEASE DATE: Feb. 22, 2010

Shafak should have dropped Ella’s story, with its preachy spiritual ruminations, and stuck to Rumi’s odyssey, which opens a...

The bestselling, controversial Turkish author ( Bastard of Istanbul , 2007, etc.) enfolds a historical narrative about a Sufi poet within the contemporary tale of a discontented Massachusetts housewife.

With her daughter in college and her twins in high school, Ella Rubinstein has gone back to work as a reader for a Boston literary agent. She accepts the lack of passion in her marriage to a philandering dentist—this unfortunate stereotype is typical of Shafak’s tin ear where Americans are concerned—until her first reading assignment forces her to reexamine her complacency. It’s a manuscript entitled Sweet Blasphemy , which describes the 13th-century friendship between Rumi, a respected Muslim scholar, and Shams, a wandering dervish who became his soul mate. Soon Ella is carrying on an e-mail correspondence of growing intensity with the manuscript’s author, Craig, a Scot who found Sufism after a long period of personal crisis. Craig and Ella are soul mates too, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s cute. It’s hard to care about Ella, who considers her younger daughter’s eating disorder a distraction from her pursuit of spiritual enlightenment. The energy, complexity and empathy found in Shafak’s previous work are evident only in the sections of the text devoted to Rumi. He suffers humiliations from Shams, a gifted mystic but far from perfect human being who cuts him off from his family and followers, but Rumi appreciates the deeper meaning behind the tests Shams sets for him. When Shams is murdered with the help of Rumi’s jealous son, Rumi’s grief blossoms into great poetry still beloved today. In the parallel present, Ella leaves her family to follow Craig to Turkey, knowing he has terminal cancer. His death only deepens her commitment to her personal quest, and she heads to Amsterdam, where he had lived. After all, the kids can always visit.

Pub Date: Feb. 22, 2010

ISBN: 978-0-670-02145-1

Page Count: 350

Publisher: Viking

Review Posted Online: Jan. 20, 2011

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2010

LITERARY FICTION

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BOOK REVIEW

by Elif Shafak

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by Mark Z. Danielewski ‧ RELEASE DATE: March 6, 2000

The story's very ambiguity steadily feeds its mysteriousness and power, and Danielewski's mastery of postmodernist and...

An amazingly intricate and ambitious first novel - ten years in the making - that puts an engrossing new spin on the traditional haunted-house tale.

Texts within texts, preceded by intriguing introductory material and followed by 150 pages of appendices and related "documents" and photographs, tell the story of a mysterious old house in a Virginia suburb inhabited by esteemed photographer-filmmaker Will Navidson, his companion Karen Green (an ex-fashion model), and their young children Daisy and Chad. The record of their experiences therein is preserved in Will's film The Davidson Record - which is the subject of an unpublished manuscript left behind by a (possibly insane) old man, Frank Zampano - which falls into the possession of Johnny Truant, a drifter who has survived an abusive childhood and the perverse possessiveness of his mad mother (who is institutionalized). As Johnny reads Zampano's manuscript, he adds his own (autobiographical) annotations to the scholarly ones that already adorn and clutter the text (a trick perhaps influenced by David Foster Wallace's Infinite Jest ) - and begins experiencing panic attacks and episodes of disorientation that echo with ominous precision the content of Davidson's film (their house's interior proves, "impossibly," to be larger than its exterior; previously unnoticed doors and corridors extend inward inexplicably, and swallow up or traumatize all who dare to "explore" their recesses). Danielewski skillfully manipulates the reader's expectations and fears, employing ingeniously skewed typography, and throwing out hints that the house's apparent malevolence may be related to the history of the Jamestown colony, or to Davidson's Pulitzer Prize-winning photograph of a dying Vietnamese child stalked by a waiting vulture. Or, as "some critics [have suggested,] the house's mutations reflect the psychology of anyone who enters it."

Pub Date: March 6, 2000

ISBN: 0-375-70376-4

Page Count: 704

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Review Posted Online: May 19, 2010

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Feb. 1, 2000

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Book Review

Book Review: The Forty Rules Of Love by Elif Shafak

Author: Elif Shafak

Genre: Contemporary Fiction/Historical Fiction

Publisher: Penguin Publisher

Language: English

Setting Place: Northampton, Massachusetts; Baghdad, Iran

Major Characters: Ella Rubenstien, Shams of Tabriz, Rumi

Theme: Love, Spiritual, History, Pain

Narration Type: First person narration by several characters.

Book Summary: The Forty Rules of Love

The Forty Rules of Love is a delightful entanglement of two narratives – one set in the contemporary times with Ella, a housewife as the protagonist. Hers is a story of lost love and hope, till she finds herself changed because of a book she must read as a part of her new job’s obligations. The second narrative is that of the book ‘Sweet Blasphemy’, set in the 13 th century, which portrays the lives and relationships of Shams of Tabriz and Rumi.

As the plot unfolds, Ella goes finds herself mesmerized with the tale she is currently reading and decides to take lessons from the philosophy of the forty rules of love, laid down by the Shams of Tabriz.

She is ultimately led to believe, her relationship and lives are meant to be altered by the author of the book, Aziz Zahara – as was Rumi’s life altered by the Shams of Tabriz.

Book Review: The Forty Rules of Love

Ella Rubenstein, an unhappy forty-year old housewife with a cheating husband and three children; always the kind of person your mother would approve of! She couldn’t comprehend why she had these misgivings. Over the time, she has grown complacent with her agonised life, giving up on love and hope. She continues to lead her day-to-day life, drowning herself with household chores and avoiding conflicts.

Being a housewife for several years, her life finally takes a turn when she must review a book – ‘Sweet Blasphemy’, as a part of her new job’s obligations, as a literary reviewer. Ever since she read the first sentence, the book binds her as its own. She sets the ball rolling with a series of heartfelt conversations through emails with none other than the author Aziz Zahara himself.

“Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”

Set in the 13th century, it portrays the journey of a rather famous pair – Shams of Tabriz and Rumi.

Shams of Tabriz, a wandering dervish and thorough Sufi, frames the forty rules of love which he imparts to fellow Sufi enthusiasts. By virtue of his gift of having visions about future, he foresees his own death. He decides to pass on his wisdom to someone at par with him, someone as soulful and in love as he is.

He travels all the way to Baghdad to find Rumi, a cleric with an unsettled soul. On the course of his imparting knowledge, he faces hatred and disappointment from other people, especially Rumi’s family. Despite all odds and dangers, he shows the path of light and love to Rumi; thus attributing to his becoming one of the most sought-after Sufi and poet of all times.

“If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”

Shafak, being a staunch feminist herself , makes sure her female characters are the strongest and gripping. The 13th century plot is particularly polyphonic, thus guiding us to the various perspectives of people around and not just the Shams of Tabriz, be it the barren harlot, the roadside leper or the amateur intern at a madrassa.

There are symbolic parallels between the plot in the 13th century and the one in current times – The era of social turmoil, people disagreeing on religious beliefs of others, the forty rules with the age of the protagonist(and why it’s the best time of her life, in fact), the unsettling, lovelorn heart of Rumi as is Ella’s, the guiding light that Shams is for Rumi, as Aziz is for Ella; and the significant outcomes of these unnamed associations. The plot with Ella, is probably the weaker story-line of the two; with only Ella’s thoughts being voiced and not any of the other characters in her life.

This is a recommended read for all poetry aficionados and Rumi admirers like me. This one’s for the soul!

Review by Lopita Dash

Buy now: the forty rules of love by elif shafak.

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The Forty Rules of Love, By Elif Shafak

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Bored housewife Ella feels stalled despite her gracious suburban life in Northampton, New England. Her teenage children are growing away from her; her husband is distant and unfaithful. Ella's new job as reader for a publisher introduces her to Sufism through a manuscript she is sent to read, and has life-changing consequences.

"Sweet Blasphemy", the novel she is sent to appraise, tells the story of a 13th-century wandering Persian Sufi Dervish, Shams of Tabriz, and his inspirational relationship with Rumi, the greatest poet of the Sufi canon. Rumi, a respected Koranic scholar, was transformed through his love for Shams and was inspired to write the Masnavi, a key Sufi tract which weaves Koranic analysis with poetry, parables of the everyday, the mythic and miraculous. It was to beget Mevlevi Sufism, practised through poetry, music and dance.

The Forty Rules of Love takes Sufism into blockbuster territory. It interweaves Ella's quest to find love with Shams's and Rumi's quest for beatitude through friendship, as told by a range of characters including Rumi's wife and sons: one of whom was to assassinate Shams, the other to carry on his father's work. The narrative is racy, told in first-person fragments, letters, emails and braided through with Shams's theosophy as told through his 40 rules of love. Elif Shafak expounds a populist rather than a scholarly Sufism, providing a vigourous and easily assimilable introduction to Sufi thought.

Bold bestseller this may be, but there is attention to detail. Each chapter begins with the letter "b". For Sufi mystics the secret of the Koran lies in the verse Al-Fatiha, the essence of which is contained in the word bismilahirahmanirahim (in the name of Allah, the Benevolent and Merciful), with the quintessence of the word in the dot below the first Arabic letter, a dot that embodies the universe. Shams espouses multiple readings of the Koran, and Shafak slips in two diametrically opposed contemporary translations of the Al-Nisa, the Koranic verse which M H Shakir interprets as justification for male subjugation of women - while Ahmed Ali translates as a verse extolling respect for women.

Both the observant head-scarfed daughters of AKP, the Islamic party in government in Turkey, and the secular offspring of past Kemalist regimes, are ardent fans of Shafak's novel. Her engaging vision of a gentle non-judgmental Sufi path to Islam that rejects religious fundamentalism and is accessible to all, from medieval drunks and whores to 21st-century Scottish drifters and American housewives, has made the novel a Turkish bestseller.

Challenging truisms of the fundamentalist Islamic orient and the consumerist Judeo-Christian occident, the novel proposes Sufism as a quest for spirituality which can fill the void at the heart of both. Shafak is a mercurial and often controversial writer, but should she choose to continue in this spiritual vein, I have no doubt she will challenge Paulo Coelho's dominance. With its timely, thought-provoking, feel-good message, The Forty Rules of Love deserves to be a global publishing phenomenon.

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The Forty Rules of Love : Book summary and reviews of The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak

Summary | Reviews | More Information | More Books

The Forty Rules of Love

A Novel of Rumi

by Elif Shafak

Critics' Opinion:

Readers' rating:

Published Feb 2010 368 pages Genre: Literary Fiction Publication Information

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About this book

Book summary.

In this lyrical, exuberant follow-up to her 2007 novel, The Bastard of Istanbul , acclaimed Turkish author Elif Shafak unfolds two tantalizing parallel narratives - one contemporary and the other set in the thirteenth century, when Rumi encountered his spiritual mentor, the whirling dervish known as Shams of Tabriz - that together incarnate the poet's timeless message of love. Ella Rubenstein is forty years old and unhappily married when she takes a job as a reader for a literary agent. Her first assignment is to read and report on Sweet Blasphemy , a novel written by a man named Aziz Zahara. Ella is mesmerized by his tale of Shams's search for Rumi and the dervish's role in transforming the successful but unhappy cleric into a committed mystic, passionate poet, and advocate of love. She is also taken with Shams's lessons, or rules, that offer insight into an ancient philosophy based on the unity of all people and religions, and the presence of love in each and every one of us. As she reads on, she realizes that Rumi's story mirrors her own and that Zahara-like Shams-has come to set her free.

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Reader reviews.

"Starred Review. Shafak’s seductive, shrewd, and affecting novel brilliantly revives the revelations of Shams and Rumi, and daringly illuminates the differences between religion and spirituality, censure and compassion, fear and love of life in our own violent world." - Booklist "This novel, a best seller in Turkey, may appeal to fans of Nicholas Sparks or Robert James Waller." - Library Journal "Celebrated Turkish novelist Shafak serves up a curious blend of mediocre hen lit and epic historical to underwhelming results." - Publishers Weekly "Shafak should have dropped Ella's story, with its preachy spiritual ruminations, and stuck to Rumi's odyssey, which opens a window into a world Westerners know little about." - Kirkus Reviews "[An} appealing fable ... The universal theme is the struggle between the rational mind and the aching heart. Shafak’s heroine yields to the latter and never looks back." - More Magazine (more.com)

Author Information

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Elif Shafak Author Biography

Photo: Ebru Bilun

Elif Shafak is an award-winning British-Turkish novelist. She has published 19 books, 12 of which are novels, including her latest The Island of Missing Trees . She is a bestselling author in many countries around the world and her work has been translated into 55 languages. 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World was shortlisted for the Booker Prize and RSL Ondaatje Prize; and was Blackwell's Book of the Year. The Forty Rules of Love was chosen by BBC among the 100 Novels that Shaped Our World. The Architect's Apprentice was chosen for the Duchess of Cornwall's inaugural book club, The Reading Room. Shafak holds a PhD in political science and she has taught at various universities in Turkey, the US and the UK, including St Anne's College, Oxford University, where she is an honorary ...

... Full Biography Author Interview Link to Elif Shafak's Website

Name Pronunciation Elif Shafak: El-liff Sha-fahk

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On my bookshelf: the 40 rules of love book review.

by Zaima Khaliq in Culture & Lifestyle on 27th May, 2021

Two parallel narratives, both enthralling stories of LOVE. One, a contemporary love story entwining man and woman. The other, an ancient tale of kinship between two lovers of God.

We are first introduced to Ella Rubinstein, a middle-aged suburban mother and wife, as plain and uninteresting as they come. We soon learn that Ella, despite outward appearances, is accosted by a void in her life and her overarching inability to believe in love. This is set to change when Ella becomes acquainted with Sufi writer, Aziz A. Zahara, through his novel “Sweet Blasphemy.”

Intricately woven within Ella’s story, is the beautiful journey of the revered 13th Century poet, Jalaluddin Rumi and his transcendental bond with an unorthodox traveling dervish, named Shams of Tabriz.

We learn that Shams is the vessel chosen to transform Rumi from a learned scholar, who was akin to respect and reputation, to the free and enlightened spiritual poet, who has wondered the hearts of many for over 800 years. Shams imparts his wisdom in form of his “40 Rules of Love.” A series of spiritual commandments that become the centre of reflection within the narrative.

While reading “Sweet Blasphemy” Ella realizes that Rumi’s story mirrors her own, and that Aziz, like Shams, has come to set her free. Within both parallel narratives, Ella and Rumi must sacrifice the luxuries of comfort and possession to truly feel the enlightenment of love, and also, the transformative experience of loss.

“Every true love or friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we have loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”

My Thoughts?

What first struck me about the novel is how beautifully Shafak layers stories within the text. Like a rose unfurling its petals, each one has a distinct purpose, and its own lasting fragrance on the reader.

This is a story of love. The love between a man and woman, formed over shared hopes and vulnerability. But above that, it is the evolving story of a deep gratifying bond of two spiritual seekers of God. The effervescent friendship between Shams and Rumi is one of sheer delight, it truly does capture the heart. Both in need of spiritual companionship, the two orbit around one another, wading through the depth that can only be found within the heart of a true lover of God.

Above even this, the truest most powerful love story within the novel, is in fact the ode to God. To know God, one must know that he resides in the heart of His creation. We are told to extend kindness towards every living thing, because every living thing contains God.

“Whatever happens in your life, however troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well, A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for what he has been denied.”

Multitude of Voices

The narrative itself is extremely fragmented. As the reader, we hear from a multitude of different voices, all from different parts of society. At first, this took me a little while to get behind, however reading further, you understand what this brings to the novel.

We hear from a street beggar afflicted with Leprosy, a prostitute who flees from a brothel and a local drunk who is chastised regularly. All Individuals who have been deemed inferior by society.

Through each 1st person perspective, we hear the trials and tribulations experienced by those who are continually disregarded. But, through the kindness and acceptance shown by Shams of Tabriz, each one is able to venture towards knowing God.

Shams helps Rumi to leave the company of blind followers and supporters, and instead asks him to bask in the company of those who were not as privileged as he. With these stark reminders, one can’t help but see through eyes of empathy. This notion, I will carry with me long after reading this book.

“If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign you shall soon be showered in roses.”

In Conclusion

Shafak wonderfully captures the rise and essence of Sufism in the 13th Century. In doing so, she swiftly deconstructs the notion of Islam as a rigid an unforgiving faith, serving to remind the reader that faith originates and emanated from the heart.

Part of me finds it very easy to align with the poetic lens of Sufism. I fully believe the notion that faith is arbitrary and unique to every person. Each person has their own discourse with Allah (swt), and their own perception of what it means to be a good person. Our journey towards God can begin in the most unlikely place, and no one is turned away from His path, regardless of culture, faith or creed.

One of the rules resonated with me particularly, it reads: “How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.”

This rings so true, and highlights the concept again, that God is and has been within us all along, even closer than our Jugular vein…. (Quran 50:16)

Rating: A hearty 8/10

Reason being, despite the richness of Rumi’s journey with Shams, Ella’s story is left somewhat undeveloped. It was difficult to become completely invested in her plight as her character wasn’t that likable. Perhaps she is a metaphor of the Nafs within, the parts of ourselves that we would like to shut down.

Also, I think as a reader, it would have added immensely to the narrative, if we had heard first hand from Aziz. We only hear from him in the form of letters to Ella, and it would have been interesting to really cement the notion that Sufism is truly alive in the modern day.

Other than that, this novel leaves a lasting effect that will stay with you long after reading. I’m really inspired to research Rumi’s relationship with Shams of Tabriz, and the poetry dedicated to his beloved friend. If only we could all know such companionship…

If you loved A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini or enjoyed watching Turkish Netflix hit Ertugral…you will enjoy this book immensely!

Zaima Khaliq

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The 40 rules of love – An enlightening story

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead, let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?” – Elif Shafak, The forty rules of love

This book is a gem. “The forty rules of love” by Elif Shafak takes us through two parallel narratives – One set up in the contemporary modern world and the other in the mystical thirteenth century. Both the narratives are creatively woven together.

Ella Rubinstein is a married woman living with her husband and three kids in Northampton. Ella lives a life that anyone would be envious of. If we take a closer look, Ella is unhappy and she is devoid of love. Two weeks before her fortieth birthday, Ella finds herself working for a literary agency and is assigned to reading a book entitled ‘Sweet Blasphemy’, written by a debut novelist, Aziz Zahara.

The Sweet Blasphemy is the second narrative and we read it along with Ella. Sweet Blasphemy tells the tale of Rumi, his love and companionship for Shams and what turned Rumi into a great poet.

The Sweet Blasphemy is so captivating and even changes Ella’s perspective about love. The next thing we know, Ella and Aziz start exchanging emails with each other. Ella feels Rumi’s story mirrors her own and that Zahara-like Shams has come to set her free from her mundane, loveless life.

“The forty rules of love” by Elif Shafak is divided into five parts – earth, water, wind, fire and the void, the five elements that constitute the universe. There is a constant shift between centuries and perspectives but the writing style is smooth and spectacular. The chapters are very short and I felt that kept the book very engaging.

There is a lot to explore and ponder about this book. “The forty rules of love” is a fiction with philosophical teachings that isn’t too pushy or preachy. That is one of the best reasons why you must add this to your TBR list. I have fallen in love with Elif Shafaks writing. I will be reading more of her works.

Shams of Tabriz is a mystic Sufi and the second story is an account of his forty rules of love for a peaceful life. Shams calls it ‘The Basic Principals of The Itinerant Mystics of Islams’ which can be attained only through love. The rules are written at the perfect timings in the story. I loved Shams of Tabriz. I loved how he treated everyone equally. I loved the stories he chose to tell during tough situations. Above all, I admired the friendship and love he had for Rumi.

“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things may seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi/Lightworker is thankful not only for what she/he has been given but also for what she/he has been denied. – Elif Shafak, The forty rules of love

Rumi’s internal transformation from a scholar to a poet was heartbreaking yet beautiful. Desert Rose, the harlot was an intriguing character and her part was so good. I loved the connection between Ella and Aziz. Aziz is a good human and his back story was well written. Ella’s storyline is a bit predictable. The author has given more concentration to the second narrative and I loved it. Every chapter began with the letter B, and the reason behind it was very interesting. The number forty also had a beautiful significance and it has become my favourite number. Every aspect of this book is cleverly crafted by Elif Shafak.

I took my own sweet time with this book and savoured every bit of it! The concept is simple yet beautiful. Let’s worship God out of Love and not out of fear. Let’s treat everybody with love and give no space for hate.

“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western… Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions, It is what it is, pure and simple.” “Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire.” “The universe turns differently when fire loves water.” – Elif Shafak, The forty rules of love

Verdict – Go for it. The forty rules of love by Elif Shafak is certain to transport the readers to a heartbreakingly beautiful world of Shams and Rumi.

Get your copy – https://www.amazon.in/Forty-Rules-Love-Elif-Shafak/dp/0241972930

You might also like – https://gentlepages.com/child-of-illusions-beautiful-tale-of-undying-love/

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The Forty Rules of Love

51 pages • 1 hour read

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Summary and Study Guide

The Forty Rules of Love is a 2009 novel by Elif Shafak. The book tells the story of Ella Rubinstein , a woman in her late thirties who has settled into the complacency of her life. She exists without drive or passion. The narrative follows her unlikely escape from what at first appears to be inevitable unhappiness. The novel also concerns itself with the deep, fraternal love between Sufi dervish Shams of Tabriz and the mystical scholar-poet Rumi . The story of Shams and Rumi comes to Ella through a book she is reviewing for her new job as an assistant to a literary agent; that book, Sweet Blasphemy , is a novel about the lives of the two mystics and the friends, families, and enemies they touched. As Ella reads Sweet Blasphemy , she becomes increasingly aware of the lack of love in her life compared to the love experienced by the characters in the book. Ella tends to relate to the world around her through her relationships, and her dual roles of mother and wife. Pouring over the pages of Sweet Blasphemy , Ella grows discontent with her passionless marriage to David and inspired by the love related by the author, Aziz. This study guide references the 2011 Penguin Books Edition of the text.

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The text of Sweet Blasphemy begins with Sufi dervish Shams of Tabriz’s vision of his own death and the discovery of his body by the master he knows he must come to find. After decades of wandering, Shams knows that he is meant to be joined with this master in order to learn from him and for them to explore new ideas about Islam and love together. After months of waiting, Shams goes to Konya and meets Rumi, a famous Islamic scholar whose sermons are attended widely by the masses. Together, Shams and Rumi bring their teachings to a sometimes receptive but often hostile flock who do not understand Shams or the Sufi teachings—the scholars think the Sufi are nonsense and the work of Satan. Shams is frequently threatened by members of Rumi’s family, particularly Rumi’s younger son, Aladdin , whose jealousy eventually turns to hatred.

As Ella reads Sweet Blasphemy , she begins to research the author and eventually sends him an email, introducing herself and sharing a little about her life. Before long, Aziz and Ella are emailing each other multiple times a day, and sparks alight as their flirtations begin to resemble romantic feelings. Ella is taken with Aziz’s openness about love and living in the present and begins to imagine what it would be like to meet him.

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In Sweet Blasphemy , despite the positive message Shams is spreading, his divisive personality and possessiveness of Rumi continue to rub Aladdin the wrong way, and Aladdin and his friends hatch a plan to have Shams murdered. In the end, Shams’s warnings that his death will destroy Rumi are not heeded by Aladdin, and Shams is killed; shortly after, Rumi finds Shams’s body in a well. These events inspire Rumi’s poetry, the words flowing out of him after the loss of his companion.

Meanwhile, Ella is experiencing love and loss of her own. After telling her husband she wants to meet Aziz, Ella drives to Boston to do so. At the end of the visit, Ella tells Aziz that she wants to go with him back to Holland; it is then that Aziz breaks the news that he has terminal cancer and no more than 16 months left to live. The two separate for a few days; then, one evening, after fixing dinner for her family, Ella packs her bags and leaves to be with Aziz. Aziz and Ella explore the world for a year before they go to Konya, where Aziz’s book takes place. When he dies from cancer, Ella hosts his funeral and then decides to live like Aziz did—fully in the moment—and makes plans to move to Holland, to see where life will take her.

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Look Inside | Reading Guide

Reading Guide

The Forty Rules of Love

A Novel of Rumi

By Elif Shafak

Category: literary fiction | historical fiction | women's fiction.

Apr 26, 2011 | ISBN 9780143118527 | 5-1/2 x 8-7/16 --> | ISBN 9780143118527 --> Buy

Feb 18, 2010 | ISBN 9781101189948 | ISBN 9781101189948 --> Buy

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Apr 26, 2011 | ISBN 9780143118527

Feb 18, 2010 | ISBN 9781101189948

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About The Forty Rules of Love

In this lyrical, exuberant tale, acclaimed Turkish author Elif Shafak, author of The Island of Missing Trees (a Reese’s Book Club Pick), incarnates Rumi’s timeless message of love

Also by Elif Shafak

About Elif Shafak

Elif Shafak is an award-winning British-Turkish novelist and a champion of women’s rights and freedom of expression. Her books have been translated into fifty-five languages. Her novels include The Bastard of Istanbul, The Forty Rules of Love, The Architect’s Apprentice,… More about Elif Shafak

Product Details

Category: literary fiction | historical fiction | women’s fiction, you may also like.

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Praise for The Forty Rules of Love : “Here’s a middle-aged love story and the inside story of one of history’s great friendships, and on top of all that, the story of the battle within medieval Islam between the conservatives and the Sufis… Laugh, cry, tear your hair out as you learn.” —NPR.org “A captivating and wise book . . . The tale of the fated meeting, spiritual companionship, and tragic parting of [Rumi and Shams of Tabriz] is beautifully recounted in The Forty Rules of Love . . . . Shafak draws on facts from Rumi’s and Sham’s biographies and brings them to life with deft storytelling.” —Associated Press “A gorgeous, jeweled, luxurious book . . . The past and the present fit together beautifully in a passionate defense of passion itself.” — The Times (London) “In this appealing fable, Turkish author Elif Shafak toggles between characters from different times: a modern American housewife and a thirteenth-century poet. . . . The universal theme is struggle between the rational mind and the aching heart. Shafak’s heroine yields to the latter and never looks back.” — More magazine

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Elif Shafak's New Book Reviewed

Alan Cheuse

Turkish novelist Elif Shafak's new novel, The Forty Rules of Love , takes us into the life of a middle-aged Jewish woman from central Massachusetts, who as a reader for a literary agent, has just picked up a copy of a novel by a modern Sufi mystic.

MELISSA BLOCK, host:

From NPR News, this ALL THINGS CONSIDERED. I'm Melissa Block.

ROBERT SIEGEL, host:

And I'm Robert Siegel.

Not a lot of writers translate their own books, but Turkish novelist Elif Shafak writes Turkish and English versions of her novels. Her latest book is called "The Forty Rules of Love." It's about a middle-aged, Jewish woman who picks up a copy of a novel by a modern Islamic mystic.

Alan Cheuse has this review.

ALAN CHEUSE: For Ella Rubenstein, this 40-year-old wife and mother mired in depression who sees her life as stale and wasted, the book within the book turns out to be a big flood line on the road ahead. "Sweet Blasphemy," this book is called. It gives us the story of Shams, the 13th-century Sufi mystic, the wild man of Islam.

Shams travels to Turkey to befriend Rumi, one of the great poets of the Middle Ages. This friendship turns Rumi's life upside down and eventually brings about Shams' own murder. Over the course of a few weeks in June, reading their story turns Ella's life into glorious confusion, and she eventually comes up with a plan to change it all for the better.

Now, you can see this coming a mile away, but when it happens you want to stand up and cheer, maybe tear up a bit, too, because of the way things turn out.

Here's a middle-aged love story and the inside story of one of history's great friendships, and on top of all that, the story of the battle within medieval Islam between the conservatives and the Sufis.

"The Forty Rules of Love" is a little kitschy at times, but that's part of the fun of it. Laugh, cry, tear your hair out as you learn.

SIEGEL: "The Forty Rules of Love," by Elif Shafak. Our reviewer is Alan Cheuse.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.

Polly Castor

Fostering a new renaissance through creativity, authenticity, spirituality, and art, 40 rules of love (book review with quotes).

Forty Rules of Love (Book Review with Quotes)

This is a book of two parallel narratives, the historical one of the 13th century mystic poet Rumi and his friend Shams, and a far weaker and somewhat unnecessary one of a forty year old housewife in Massachusetts. The novel celebrates the radical transformation of Rumi from scholar to poet, and his evolution from devoted spiritual teacher to visionary.

The “Rules of the Religion of Love” are articulated by Shams as the book proceeds. They state universal truths that resonate deeply and are worth reading the book for. I quote several here and found even more in the memes below on the internet.

“The ego is the only enemy Muslims should be warring against.”
“The path to the truth is a labor of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind… Knowing your self will lead you to the knowledge of God.”
“Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually, it is best to find a person, the person who will be your mirror. Remember, in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.”
“The quest for love changes us. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured on the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without.”
“If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself. Unless you learn to love yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others may throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.”
“The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space, and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.”
“A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western…. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And the lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.”
“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”
“The world is like a snowy mountain that echoes your voice. Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbors ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice thing about that person. Everything will be different at the end of forty days, because you will be different inside.”
“Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation. If we are the same person before and after we loved, that means we haven’t loved enough.”
“The past in an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not move through time as if it were a single line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.”
“It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again.”
“Life is a temporary loan, and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy balance.”
“Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission – a power that comes from within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquility and peace even when the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.”

I have long read Rumi and have been attracted to the Sufi mystics, being a bit of a sage myself. This is the first historical fiction I’ve read of Rumi’s life, and I think it shares well the pearls of that wisdom tradition, so different than we stereotypically associate with Muslims. (It’s always interesting to me that Muslims condemn Sufi’s as extreme, while to me it seems the other way around. And yes, I read the whole Quran about 40 years ago.)

The Forty Rules of Love is enjoyable for the Rumi and Sufi aspects, but the housewife from Massachusetts, unfortunately subtracted from that, so I can only give this novel four stars. Those that desire fresh spiritual insights will put up with plot weaknesses, however, in order to enjoy the sagacious philosophy contained within. Read this with a pencil in hand to catch the profound bits, and enjoy mulling them over. I agreed with many (most?) but not all.

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The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi

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The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi Paperback – April 26, 2011

Purchase options and add-ons.

In this lyrical, exuberant tale, acclaimed Turkish author Elif Shafak, author of The Island of Missing Trees (a Reese's Book Club Pick), incarnates Rumi's timeless message of love

Print length 368 pages
Language English
Publisher Penguin Books
Publication date April 26, 2011
Dimensions 5.42 x 0.78 x 8.42 inches
ISBN-10 0143118528
ISBN-13 978-0143118527
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Editorial Reviews

B etween your fingers you hold a stone and throw it into flowing water. The effect might not be easy to see. There will be a small ripple where the stone breaks the surface and then a splash, muffled by the rush of the surrounding river. That’s all.

Throw a stone into a lake. The effect will be not only visible but also far more lasting. The stone will disrupt the still waters. A circle will form where the stone hit the water, and in a flash that circle will multiply into another, then another. Before long the ripples caused by one plop will expand until they can be felt everywhere along the mirrored surface of the water. Only when the circles reach the shore will they stop and die out.

If a stone hits a river, the river will treat it as yet another commotion in its already tumultuous course. Nothing unusual. Nothing unmanageable.

If a stone hits a lake, however, the lake will never be the same again.

For forty years Ella Rubinstein’s life had consisted of still waters—a predictable sequence of habits, needs, and preferences. Though it was monotonous and ordinary in many ways, she had not found it tiresome. During the last twenty years, every wish she had, every person she befriended, and every decision she made was filtered through her marriage. Her husband, David, was a successful dentist who worked hard and made a lot of money. She had always known that they did not connect on any deep level, but connecting emotionally need not be a priority on a married couple’s list, she thought, especially for a man and a woman who had been married for so long. There were more important things than passion and love in a marriage, such as understanding, affection, compassion, and that most godlike act a person could perform, forgiveness. Love was secondary to any of these. Unless, that is, one lived in novels or romantic movies, where the protagonists were always larger than life and their love nothing short of legend.

Ella’s children topped her list of priorities. They had a beautiful daughter in college, Jeannette, and teenage twins, Orly and Avi. Also, they had a twelve-year-old golden retriever, Spirit, who had been Ella’s walking buddy in the mornings and her cheeriest companion ever since he’d been a puppy. Now he was old, overweight, completely deaf, and almost blind; Spirit’s time was coming, but Ella preferred to think he would go on forever. Then again, that was how she was. She never confronted the death of anything, be it a habit, a phase, or a marriage, even when the end stood right in front of her, plain and inevitable.

The Rubinsteins lived in Northampton, Massachusetts, in a large Victorian house that needed some renovation but still was splendid, with five bedrooms, three baths, shiny hardwood floors, a three-car garage, French doors, and, best of all, an outdoor Jacuzzi. They had life insurance, car insurance, retirement plans, college savings plans, joint bank accounts, and, in addition to the house they lived in, two prestigious apartments: one in Boston, the other in Rhode Island. She and David had worked hard for all this. A big, busy house with children, elegant furniture, and the wafting scent of homemade pies might seem a cliché to some people, but to them it was the picture of an ideal life. They had built their marriage around this shared vision and had attained most, if not all, of their dreams.

On their last Valentine’s Day, her husband had given her a heart-shaped diamond pendant and a card that read,

To my dear Ella,

A woman with a quiet manner, a generous heart, and the patience of a saint. Thank you for accepting me as I am. Thank you for being my wife.

Ella had never confessed this to David, but reading his card had felt like reading an obituary. This is what they will write about me when I die, she had thought. And if they were sincere, they might also add this:

Building her whole life around her husband and children, Ella lacked any survival techniques to help her cope with life’s hardships on her own. She was not the type to throw caution to the wind. Even changing her daily coffee brand was a major effort.

All of which is why no one, including Ella, could explain what was going on when she filed for divorce in the fall of 2008 after twenty years of marriage.

But there was a reason: love.

They did not live in the same city. Not even on the same continent. The two of them were not only miles apart but also as different as day and night. Their lifestyles were so dissimilar that it seemed impossible for them to bear each other’s presence, never mind fall in love. But it happened. And it happened fast, so fast in fact that Ella had no time to realize what was happening and to be on guard, if one could ever be on guard against love.

Love came to Ella as suddenly and brusquely as if a stone had been hurled from out of nowhere into the tranquil pond of her life.

NORTHAMPTON, MAY 17, 2008

B irds were singing outside her kitchen window on that balmy day in spring. Afterward Ella replayed the scene in her mind so many times that, rather than a fragment from the past, it felt like an ongoing moment still happening somewhere out there in the universe.

There they were, sitting around the table, having a late family lunch on a Saturday afternoon. Her husband was filling his plate with fried chicken legs, his favorite food. Avi was playing his knife and fork like drumsticks while his twin, Orly, was trying to calculate how many bites of which food she could eat so as not to ruin her diet of 650 calories a day. Jeannette, who was a freshman at Mount Holyoke College nearby, seemed lost in her thoughts as she spread cream cheese on another slice of bread. Also at the table sat Aunt Esther, who had stopped by to drop off one of her famous marble cakes and then stayed on for lunch. Ella had a lot of work to do afterward, but she was not ready to leave the table just yet. Lately they didn’t have too many shared family meals, and she saw this as a golden chance for everyone to reconnect.

“Esther, did Ella give you the good news?” David asked suddenly. “She found a great job.”

Though Ella had graduated with a degree in English literature and loved fiction, she hadn’t done much in the field after college, other than editing small pieces for women’s magazines, attending a few book clubs, and occasionally writing book reviews for some local papers. That was all. There was a time when she’d aspired to become a prominent book critic, but then she simply accepted the fact that life had carried her elsewhere, turning her into an industrious housewife with three kids and endless domestic responsibilities.

Not that she complained. Being the mother, the wife, the dog walker, and the housekeeper kept her busy enough. She didn’t have to be a breadwinner on top of all these. Though none of her feminist friends from Smith College approved of her choice, she was satisfied to be a stay-at-home mom and grateful that she and her husband could afford it. Besides, she had never abandoned her passion for books and still considered herself a voracious reader.

A few years ago, things had begun to change. The children were growing up, and they made it clear that they didn’t need her as much as they once had. Realizing that she had too much time to spare and no one to spend it with, Ella had considered how it might be to find a job. David had encouraged her, but though they kept talking and talking about it, she rarely pursued the opportunities that came her way, and when she did, potential employers were always looking for someone younger or more experienced. Afraid of being rejected over and over, she had simply let the subject drop.

Nevertheless, in May 2008 whatever obstacle had impeded her from finding a job all these years unexpectedly vanished. Two weeks shy of her fortieth birthday, she found herself working for a literary agency based in Boston. It was her husband who found her the job through one of his clients—or perhaps through one of his mistresses.

“Oh, it’s no big deal,” Ella rushed to explain now. “I’m only a part-time reader for a literary agent.”

But David seemed determined not to let her think too little of her new job. “Come on, tell them it’s a well-known agency,” he urged, nudging her, and when she refused to comply, he heartily agreed with himself. “It’s a prestigious place, Esther. You should see the other assistants! Girls and boys fresh out of the best colleges. Ella is the only one going back to work after being a housewife for years. Now, isn’t she something?”

Ella wondered if, deep inside, her husband felt guilty about keeping her away from a career, or else about cheating on her—these being the only two explanations she could think of as to why he was now going overboard in his enthusiasm.

Still smiling, David concluded, “This is what I call chutzpah. We’re all proud of her.”

“She is a prize. Always was,” said Aunt Esther in a voice so sentimental that it sounded as if Ella had left the table and was gone for good.

They all gazed at her lovingly. Even Avi didn’t make a cynical remark, and Orly for once seemed to care about something other than her looks. Ella forced herself to appreciate this moment of kindness, but she felt an overwhelming exhaustion that she had never experienced before. She secretly prayed for someone to change the subject.

Jeannette, her older daughter, must have heard the prayer, for she suddenly chimed in, “I have some good news, too.”

All heads turned toward her, faces beaming with expectation.

“Scott and I have decided to get married,” Jeannette announced. “Oh, I know what you guys are going to say! That we haven’t finished college yet and all that, but you’ve got to understand, we both feel ready for the next big move.”

An awkward silence descended upon the kitchen table as the warmth that had canopied them just a moment ago evaporated. Orly and Avi exchanged blank looks, and Aunt Esther froze with her hand tightened around a glass of apple juice. David put his fork aside as if he had no appetite left and squinted at Jeannette with his light brown eyes that were deeply creased with smile lines at the corners. However, right now he was anything but smiling. His mouth had drawn into a pout, as though he had just downed a swig of vinegar.

“Great! I expected you to share my happiness, but I get this cold treatment instead,” Jeannette whined.

“You just said you were getting married,” remarked David as ifJeannette didn’t know what she’d said and needed to be informed.

“Dad, I know it seems a bit too soon, but Scott proposed to me the other day and I’ve already said yes.”

“But why?” asked Ella.

From the way Jeannette looked at her, Ella reckoned, that was not the kind of question her daughter had expected. She would rather have been asked “When?” or “How?” In either case it meant that she could start shopping for her wedding dress. The question “Why?” was another matter altogether and had completely caught her off guard.

“Because I love him, I guess.” Jeannette’s tone was slightly condescending.

“Honey, what I meant was, why the rush?” insisted Ella. “Are you pregnant or something?”

Aunt Esther twitched in her chair, her face stern, her anguish visible. She took an antacid tablet from her pocket and started chewing on it.

“I’m going to be an uncle,” Avi said, giggling.

Ella held Jeannette’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You can always tell us the truth. You know that, right? We’ll stand by you no matter what.”

“Mom, will you please stop that?” Jeannette snapped as she pulled her hand away. “This has nothing to do with pregnancy. You’re embarrassing me.”

“I was just trying to help,” Ella responded calmly, calmness being a state she had been lately finding harder and harder to achieve.

“By insulting me, you mean. Apparently the only way you can see Scott and me getting married is me being knocked up! Does it ever occur to you that I might, just might, want to marry this guy because I love him? We have been dating for eight months now.”

This elicited a scoff from Ella. “Oh, yeah, as if you could tell a man’s character in eight months! Your father and I have been married for almost twenty years, and even we can’t claim to know everything about each other. Eight months is nothing in a relationship!”

“It took God only six days to create the entire universe,” said Avi, beaming, but cold stares from everyone at the table forced him back into silence.

Sensing the escalating tension, David, his eyes fixed on his elder daughter, his brow furrowed in thought, interjected, “Honey, what your mom is trying to say is that dating is one thing, marrying is quite another.”

“But, Dad, did you think we would date forever?” Jeannette asked.

Drawing in a deep breath, Ella said, “To be perfectly blunt, we were expecting you to find someone better. You’re too young to get involved in any serious relationship.”

“You know what I’m thinking, Mom?” Jeannette said in a voice so flat as to be unrecognizable. “I’m thinking you’re projecting your own fears onto me. But just because you married so young and had a baby when you were my age, that doesn’t mean I’m going to make the same mistake.”

Ella blushed crimson as if slapped in the face. From deep within she remembered the difficult pregnancy that had resulted in Jeannette’s premature birth. As a baby and then as a toddler, her daughter had drained all of her energy, which was why she had waited six years before getting pregnant again.

“Sweetheart, we were happy for you when you started dating Scott,” David said cautiously, trying a different strategy. “He’s a nice guy. But who knows what you’ll be thinking after graduation? Things might be very different then.”

Jeannette gave a small nod that conveyed little more than feigned acquiescence. Then she said, “Is this because Scott isn’t Jewish?”

David rolled his eyes in disbelief. He had always taken pride in being an open-minded and cultured father, avoiding negative remarks about race, religion, or gender in the house.

Jeannette, however, seemed relentless. Turning to her mother, she asked, “Can you look me in the eye and tell me you’d still be making the same objections if Scott were a young Jewish man named Aaron?”

Jeannette’s voice needled with bitterness and sarcasm, and Ella feared there was more of that welling up inside her daughter.

“Sweetheart, I’ll be completely honest with you, even if you might not like it. I know how wonderful it is to be young and in love. Believe me, I do. But to get married to someone from a different background is a big gamble. And as your parents we want to make sure you’re doing the right thing.”

“And how do you know your right thing is the right thing for me?”

The question threw Ella off a little. She sighed and massaged her forehead, as if on the verge of a migraine.

“I love him, Mom. Does that mean anything to you? Do you remember that word from somewhere? He makes my heart beat faster. I can’t live without him.”

Ella heard herself chuckle. It was not her intention to make fun of her daughter’s feelings, not at all, but that was probably what her laughing to herself sounded like. For reasons unknown to her, she felt extremely nervous. She’d had fights with Jeannette before, hundreds of them, but today it felt as though she were quarreling with something else, something bigger.

“Mom, haven’t you ever been in love?” Jeannette retorted, a hint of contempt creeping into her tone.

“Oh, give me a break! Stop daydreaming and get real, will you? You’re being so ... ” Ella’s eyes darted toward the window, hunting for a dramatic word, until finally she came up with “ . . . romantic!”

“What’s wrong with being romantic?” Jeannette asked, sounding offended.

Really, what was wrong with being romantic? Ella wondered. Since when was she so annoyed by romanticism? Unable to answer the questions tugging at the edges of her mind, she continued all the same. “Come on, honey. Which century are you living in? Just get it in your head, women don’t marry the men they fall in love with. When push comes to shove, they choose the guy who’ll be a good father and a reliable husband. Love is only a sweet feeling bound to come and quickly go away.”

When she finished talking, Ella turned to her husband. David had clasped his hands in front of him, slowly as if through water, and was looking at her like he’d never seen her before.

“I know why you’re doing this,” Jeannette said. “You’re jealous of my happiness and my youth. You want to make an unhappy housewife out of me. You want me to be you, Mom.”

Ella felt a strange, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, as if she had a giant rock sitting there. Was she an unhappy housewife? A middle-aged mom trapped in a failing marriage? Was this how her children saw her? And her husband, too? What about friends and neighbors? Suddenly she had the feeling that everyone around her secretly pitied her, and the suspicion was so painful that she gasped.

“You should apologize to your mom,” David said, turning to Jeannette with a frown on his face.

“It’s all right. I don’t expect an apology,” Ella said dejectedly.

Jeannette gave her mother a mock leer. And just like that, she pushed back her chair, threw her napkin aside, and walked out of the kitchen. After a minute Orly and Avi silently followed suit, either in an unusual act of solidarity with their elder sister or because they’d gotten bored of all this adult talk. Aunt Esther left next, mumbling some poor excuse while chewing fiercely on her last antacid tablet.

David and Ella remained at the table, an intense awkwardness hanging in the air between them. It pained Ella to have to face this void, which, as they both knew, had nothing to do with Jeannette or any of their children.

David grabbed the fork he had put aside and inspected it for a while. “So should I conclude that you didn’t marry the man you loved?”

“Oh, please, that’s not what I meant.”

“What is it you meant, then?” David said, still talking to the fork. “I thought you were in love with me when we got married.”

“I was in love with you,” Ella said, but couldn’t help adding, “back then.”

“So when did you stop loving me?” David asked, deadpan.

Ella looked at her husband in astonishment, like someone who had never seen her reflection before and who now held a mirror to her face. Had she stopped loving him? It was a question she had never asked herself before. She wanted to respond but lacked not so much the will as the words. Deep inside she knew it was the two of them they should be concerned about, not their children. But instead they were doing what they both were best at: letting the days go by, the routine take over, and time run its course of inevitable torpor.

She started to cry, unable to hold back this continuing sadness that had, without her knowledge, become a part of who she was. David turned his anguished face away. They both knew he hated to see her cry just as much as she hated to cry in front of him. Fortunately, the phone rang just then, saving them.

David picked it up. “Hello . . . yes, she’s here. Hold on, please.”

Ella pulled herself together and spoke up, doing her best to sound in good spirits. “Yes, this is Ella.”

“Hi, this is Michelle. Sorry to bother you over the weekend,” chirped a young woman’s voice. “It’s just that yesterday Steve wanted me to check in with you, and I simply forgot. Did you have a chance to start working on the manuscript?”

“Oh.” Ella sighed, only now remembering the task awaiting her.

Her first assignment at the literary agency was to read a novel by an unknown European author. She was then expected to write an extensive report on it.

“Tell him not to worry. I’ve already started reading,” Ella lied. Ambitious and headstrong, Michelle was the kind of person she didn’t want to upset on her first assignment.

“Oh, good! How is it?”

Ella paused, puzzled as to what to say. She didn’t know anything about the manuscript, except that it was a historical novel centered on the life of the famous mystic poet Rumi, who she learned was called “the Shakespeare of the Islamic world.”

“Oh, it’s very . . . mystical.” Ella chuckled, hoping to cover with a joke.

But Michelle was all business. “Right,” she said flatly. “Listen, I think you need to get on this. It might take longer than you expect to write a report on a novel like that. . . . ”

There was a distant muttering on the phone as Michelle’s voice trailed off. Ella imagined her juggling several tasks simultaneously—checking e-mails, reading a review on one of her authors, taking a bite from her tuna-salad sandwich, and polishing her fingernails—all while talking on the phone.

“Are you still there?” Michelle asked a minute later.

“Yes, I am.”

“Good. Listen, it’s crazy in here. I need to go. Just keep in mind the deadline is in three weeks.”

“I know,” Ella said abruptly, trying to sound more determined. “I’ll make the deadline.”

The truth was, Ella wasn’t sure she wanted to evaluate this manuscript at all. In the beginning she’d been so eager and confident. It had felt thrilling to be the first one to read an unpublished novel by an unknown author and to play however small a role in his fate. But now she wasn’t sure if she could concentrate on a subject as irrelevant to her life as Sufism and a time as distant as the thirteenth century.

Michelle must have detected her hesitation. “Is there a problem?” she asked. When no answer came, she grew insistent. “Listen, you can confide in me.”

After a bit of silence, Ella decided to tell her the truth.

“It’s just that I’m not sure I’m in the right state of mind these days to concentrate on a historical novel. I mean, I’m interested in Rumi and all that, but still, the subject is alien to me. Perhaps you could give me another novel—you know, something I could more easily relate to.”

“That’s such a skewed approach,” said Michelle. “You think you can work better with books you know something about? Not at all! Just because you live in this state, you can’t expect to edit only novels that take place in Massachusetts, right?”

“That’s not what I meant . . .” Ella said, and immediately realized she had uttered the same sentence too many times this afternoon. She glanced at her husband to see if he, too, had noticed this, but David’s expression was hard to decipher.

“Most of the time, we have to read books that have nothing to do with our lives. That’s part of our job. Just this week I finished working on a book by an Iranian woman who used to operate a brothel in Tehran and had to flee the country. Should I have told her to send the manuscript to an Iranian agency instead?”

“No, of course not,” Ella mumbled, feeling silly and guilty.

“Isn’t connecting people to distant lands and cultures one of the strengths of good literature?”

“Sure it is. Listen, forget what I said. You’ll have a report on your desk before the deadline,” Ella conceded, hating Michelle for treating her as if she were the dullest person alive and hating herself for allowing this to happen.

“Wonderful, that’s the spirit,” Michelle concluded in her singsong voice. “Don’t get me wrong, but I think you should bear in mind that there are dozens of people out there who would love to have your job. And most of them are almost half your age. That’ll keep you motivated.”

When Ella hung up the phone, she found David watching her, his face solemn and reserved. He seemed to be waiting for them to pick up where they’d left off. But she didn’t feel like mulling over their daughter’s future anymore, if that was what they’d been worrying about in the first place.

Later in the day, she was alone on the porch sitting in her favorite rocking chair, looking at the orangey-red Northampton sunset. The sky felt so close and open that you could almost touch it. Her brain had gone quiet, as if tired of all the noise swirling inside. This month’s credit-card payments, Orly’s bad eating habits, Avi’s poor grades, Aunt Esther and her sad cakes, her dog Spirit’s decaying health, Jeannette’s marriage plans, her husband’s secret flings, the absence of love in her life . . . One by one, she locked them all in small mental boxes.

In that frame of mind, Ella took the manuscript out of its package and bounced it in her hand, as if weighing it. The title of the novel was written on the cover in indigo ink: Sweet Blasphemy.

Ella had been told that nobody knew much about the author—a certain A. Z. Zahara, who lived in Holland. His manuscript had been shipped to the literary agency from Amsterdam with a postcard inside the envelope. On the front of the postcard was a picture of tulip fields in dazzling pinks, yellows, and purples, and on the back a note written in delicate handwriting:

Dear Sir/Madam,

Greetings from Amsterdam. The story I herewith send you takes place in thirteenth-century Konya in Asia Minor. But I sincerely believe that it cuts across countries, cultures, and centuries.

I hope you will have the time to read SWEET BLASPHEMY, a historical, mystical novel on the remarkable bond between Rumi, the best poet and most revered spiritual leader in the history of Islam, and Shams of Tabriz, an unknown, unconventional dervish full of scandals and surprises.

May love be always with you and you always surrounded with love.

A. Z. Zahara

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Penguin Books; Reprint edition (April 26, 2011)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 368 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0143118528
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0143118527
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 10.6 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.42 x 0.78 x 8.42 inches
#95 in Cultural Heritage Fiction
#519 in Women's Friendship Fiction
#1,541 in Literary Fiction (Books)

About the author

Elif shafak.

Elif Shafak is an award-winning British-Turkish novelist. She has published 19 books, 12 of which are novels. She is a bestselling author in many countries around the world and her work has been translated into 55 languages. Her latest novel

The Island of Missing Trees, shortlisted for the Costa Award, RSL Ondaatje Prize and Women’s Prize for Fiction. 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in this Strange World was shortlisted for the Booker Prize and RSL Ondaatje Prize; and was Blackwell’s Book of the Year. The Forty Rules of Love was chosen by BBC among the 100 Novels that Shaped Our World. The Architect’s Apprentice was chosen for the Duchess of Cornwall’s inaugural book club, The Reading Room. Shafak holds a PhD in political science and she has taught at various universities in Turkey, the US and the UK, including St Anne's College, Oxford University, where she is an honorary fellow. She also holds a Doctorate of Humane Letters from Bard College.

Shafak is a Fellow and a Vice President of the Royal Society of Literature. She is a founding member of ECFR (European Council on Foreign Relations). An advocate for women's rights, LGBTQ+ rights and freedom of expression, Shafak is an inspiring public speaker and twice TED Global speaker. Shafak contributes to major publications around the world and she was awarded the medal of Chevalier de l’Ordre des Arts et des Lettres. In 2017 she was chosen by Politico as one of the twelve people “who will give you a much needed lift of the heart”. Shafak has judged numerous literary prizes, including PEN Nabokov prize and she has chaired the Wellcome Prize.

www.elifshafak.com

Twitter @Elif_Safak

Instagram @shafakelif

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Book Review: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak

By Amir Hamza

“ The Forty Rules of Love ” is a 2009 release, short fictional novel composed by Elif Shafak which revolves around the protagonist Ella and her forbidden love interest Aziz. It builds a story within a story by penning down the lesser-known tale of two famous scholars – Shams of Tabrez and Maulana Rumi by co-relating it with Ella’s experience in a parallel setting.

Elif Shafak

The writer, Elif Shafak, is a famous Turkish writer. She was born in 1971 in Turkiye and is among the best-selling writers in that part of the world. Although she is Turkish, Shafak writes in English and is widely known today for this book and its associated success. She has translated many of her books into her native language, and is an award-winning novelist. She is also the most widely read female writer in her country.

Brief summary

The book begins with dissecting Ella’s monotonous life into its pages. Employed as a book reviewer, she is married to David who is not very fair and just to her as a husband. She is appointed to read Sweet Blasphemy , a book on the life of Maulana Rumi, written by Aziz. She finds his email address because the book intrigues her and corresponds with Aziz in their first email. The two communicate with each other regularly through emails, and Ella deep down understands of their conversation may not seem so pure to the outside world, but they eventually meet. In the other universe, as Ella reads Sweet Blasphemy , she discovers how Shams meets Maulana Rumi who lives in Kunya. There, they start discussing ideas that are completely unfamiliar to the people of the time and develop a unique friendship. Everyone starts despising Shams, even Aladdin – Rumi’s son – who grows dislike for the dervish. The book follows both stories simultaneously, dissecting themes and concepts in a different style of writing.

The main themes of the novel: There is no doubt that each chapter of The Forty Rules of Love has a very unique theme. However, the theme of love supersedes the rest – in the forbidden love of Ella and Aziz, and somewhere with a deeper connotation to the fictionally represented forbidden love of Maulana Rumi and Shams of Tabrez.

A takeaway from the novel is the idea of ‘change’ in life which is essential to move forward and toward a better condition. “ Try not to resist the changes that come your way.” Here Shams further argues, “how do we know that the side we are used to is better than the one to come”. So change is a necessary part of life. Only love can bring changes in someone’s life. It is love that changes you within and without.

Another theme is the idea of self-love. “ If you want to change the way others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself.”

The Forty Rules of Love is a novel worth reading. I personally liked the book because of the following reasons. Firstly, the language of this novel is very simple and understandable. The diction is very interesting and charming. The use of different literary devices such as metaphors, alliterations and other devices add more charm and beauty to the novel. Secondly, the chapters of this book are short so it does not get monotonous for the reader as each chapter alternates between the two stories. Thirdly, the description of the characters is fantastic. While reading I could not believe that it is mere fiction but rather living men and women talking to each other. Finally, the way Elif Shafak presented the Forty Rules of True Love- the love of God and humanity – is of much appreciation.

Although the novel is unique in its features and is very skillfully designed by Elif Shafak, there are some flaws in the novel. For example, the plot is not very well constructed. Secondly, the writer used the story-within-a-story technique which may confuse some readers. The language is simple but the reader needs to be more focused because of two stories side by side, switching from one story to another.

Moreover, it has faced a lot of criticism as many believe the representation of forbidden love between the well known scholars from an Islamic Era represent an ill-concept to the world even if it was meant to be fictional. The idea that the two were in love, romantically ot platonically, does not sit well with the audience and therefore had caused some stir in the months of its launch. It is also not an accurate representation of Sufism and Mysticism but tries in its own way to set the premise for the fictional story within. (Edited by Khadijah Kamili)

Also Read: Book Review- Pak-US Relations: Past, Present and Future by Aman Ullah Khan

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40 Rules of Love – Book Summary

The 40 Rules of Love is a novel by Elif Shafak , tells the story of Ella Rubinstein. She is in her late thirties, is a mother of three kids living a settled life but still finds something missing in her life.

She got a new job as an assistant editor in a literary agency. The first novel she got to review was “Sweet Blasphemy”, about the love between a Sufi dervish and the mystical scholar and poet, Rumi.

As Ella started reading Sweet Blasphemy , she becomes increasingly aware of the lack of love in her married life and gets inspired by the love as described in the manuscript of the novel, she was editing.

The “Sweet Blasphemy” begins with Sufi dervish Shams of Tabriz’s discovery of his true companion, a famous Islamic scholar, Rumi.

Rumi and Shams spent time together in a closed room, talked about love, spirituality, and more.

As Ella read the manuscript further, she grew a soft corner for the Author, Aziz and they started to exchange emails discussing their family and life.

Meanwhile, Ella experiences love and loss in her own life in the form of Aziz.

While his interactions with different people, Shams encountered in his life, 40 rules of love in this book which are as follows:

How we see God is a direct reflection of how we see ourselves. If God brings to mind mostly fear and blame, it means there is too much fear and blame welled inside us. If we see God as full of love and compassion, so are we.

The path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide! Not your mind. Meet, challenge and ultimately prevail over your nafs with your heart. Knowing your ego will lead you to the knowledge of God.

You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing where exactly His abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover.

Intellect and love are made of different materials. Intellect ties people in knots and risks nothing, but love dissolves all tangles and risks everything. Intellect is always cautious and advice, ‘Beware too much ecstasy’, whereas love says, ‘Oh, never mind! Take the plunge!’ Intellect does not easily break down, whereas love can effortlessly reduce itself to rubble. But treasures are hidden among ruins. A broken heart hides treasures.

Most of the problems of the world stem from linguistic mistakes and simple misunderstandings. Don’t ever take words at face value. When you step into the zone of love, language as we know it becomes obsolete. That which cannot be put into words can only be grasped through silence.

Loneliness and solitude are two different things. When you are lonely, it is easy to delude yourself into believing that you are on the right path. Solitude is better for us, as it means being alone without feeling lonely. But eventually it is best to find a person who will be your mirror. Remember only in another person’s heart can you truly see yourself and the presence of God within you.

Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things might seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi is thankful not only for what he has been given but also for all that he has been denied.

Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to look at the end of a process. What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn. Impatience means to be shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full.

East, west, south, or north makes little difference. No matter what your destination, just be sure to make every journey a journey within. If you travel within, you’ll travel the whole wide world and beyond.

The midwife knows that when there is no pain, the way for the baby cannot be opened and the mother cannot give birth. Likewise, for a new self to be born, hardship is necessary. Just as clay needs to go through intense heat to become strong, Love can only be perfected in pain.

The quest for love changes user. There is no seeker among those who search for love who has not matured along the way. The moment you start looking for love, you start to change within and without.

There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.

Try not to resist the changes, which come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?

God is busy with the completion of your work, both outwardly and inwardly. He is fully occupied with you. Every human being is a work in progress that is slowly but inexorably moving toward perfection. We are each an unfinished work of art both waiting and striving to be completed. God deals with each of us separately because humanity is fine art of skilled penmanship where every single dot is equally important for the entire picture.

It’s easy to love a perfect God, unblemished and infallible that He is. What is far more difficult is to love fellow human beings with all their imperfections and defects. Remember, one can only know what one is capable of loving. There is no wisdom without love. Unless we learn to love God’s creation, we can neither truly love nor truly know God.

Real faith is the one inside. The rest simply washes off. There is only one type of dirt that cannot be cleansed with pure water, and that is the stain of hatred and bigotry contaminating the soul. You can purify your body through abstinence and fasting, but only love will purify your heart.

The whole universe is contained within a single human being-you. Everything that you see around, including the things that you might not be fond of and even the people you despise or abhor, is present within you in varying degrees. Therefore, do not look for Sheitan outside yourself either. The devil is not an extraordinary force that attacks from without. It is an ordinary voice within. If you set to know yourself fully, facing with honesty and hardness.

If you want to change the ways others treat you, you should first change the way you treat yourself, fully and sincerely, there is no way you can be loved. Once you achieve that stage, however, be thankful for every thorn that others might throw at you. It is a sign that you will soon be showered in roses.

Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That is the hardest part and that is what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will follow. Don’t go with the flow. Be the flow.

We were all created in His image, and yet we were each created different and unique. No two people are alike. No heartbeat to the same rhythm. If God had wanted everyone to be the same, He would have made it so. Therefore, disrespecting differences and imposing your thoughts on others is an amount to disrespecting God’s holy scheme.

When a true lover of God goes into a tavern, the tavern becomes his chamber of prayer, but when a wine bibber goes into the same chamber, it becomes his tavern. In everything we do, it is our hearts that make the difference, not our outer appearance. Sufis do not judge other people on how they look or who they are. When a Sufi stares at someone, he keeps both eyes closed instead opens a third eye – the eye that sees the inner realm.

Life is a temporary loan and this world is nothing but a sketchy imitation of Reality. Only children would mistake a toy for the real thing. And yet human beings either become infatuated with the toy or disrespectfully break it and throw it aside. In this life, stay away from all kinds of extremities, for they will destroy your inner balance. Sufis do not go to extremes. A Sufi always remains mild and moderate.

The human being has a unique place among God’s creation. “I breathed into him of My Spirit,” God says. Each and every one of us without exception is designed to be God’s delegate on earth. Ask yourself, how often do you behave like a delegate, if you ever do so? Remember, it feels upon each of us to discover the divine spirit inside and live by it.

Hell is in the here and now. So is heaven. Quit worrying about hell or dreaming about heaven, as they are both present inside this very moment. Every time we fall in love, we ascend to heaven. Every time we hate, envy or fight someone we tumble straight into the fires of hell.

Each and every reader comprehends the Holy Qur’an on a different level of tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are four levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of the people are content with. Next is the Batin – the inner level. Third, there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to remain indescribable.

The universe is one being. Everything and everyone is interconnected through an invisible web of stories. Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all in a silent conversation. Do no harm. Practice compassion. And do not gossip behind anyone’s back – not even a seemingly innocent remark! The words that come out of our mouths do not vanish but are perpetually stored in infinite space and they will come back to us in due time. One man’s pain will hurt us all. One man’s joy will make everyone smile.

Whatever you speak, good or evil, will somehow come back to you. Therefore, if there is someone who harbours ill thoughts about you, saying similarly bad things about him will only make matters worse. You will be locked in a vicious circle of malevolent energy. Instead for forty days and nights say and think nice things about that person. Everything will be different at the end of 40 days, because you will be different inside.

The past is an interpretation. The future is an illusion. The world does not more through time as if it were a straight line, proceeding from the past to the future. Instead time moves through and within us, in endless spirals. Eternity does not mean infinite time, but simply timelessness. If you want to experience eternal illumination, put the past and the future out of your mind and remain within the present moment.

Destiny doesn’t mean that your life has been strictly predetermined. Therefore, to live everything to the fate and to not actively contribute to the music of the universe is a sign of sheer ignorance. The music of the universe is all pervading and it is composed of 40 different levels. Your destiny is the level where you play your tune. You might not change your instrument but how well to play is entirely in your hands.

The true Sufi is such that even when he is unjustly accused, attacked and condemned from all sides, he patiently endures, uttering not a single bad word about any of his critics. A Sufi never apportions blame. How can there be opponents or rivals or even “others” when there is no “self” in the first place? How can there be anyone to blame when there is only One?

If you want to strengthen your faith, you will need to soften inside. For your faith to be rock solid, your heart needs to be as soft as a feather. Through an illness, accident, loss or fright, one way or another, we are all faced with incidents that teach us how to become less selfish and judgmental and more compassionate and generous. Yet some of us learn the lesson and manage to become milder, while some others end up becoming even harsher than before…

Nothing should stand between you and God. No imams, priests, rabbits or any other custodians of moral or religious leadership. Not spiritual masters and not even your faith. Believe in your values and your rules, but never lord them over others. If you keep breaking other people’s hearts, whatever religious duty you perform is no good. Stay away from all sorts of idolatry, for they will blur your vision. Let God and only God be your guide. Learn the Truth, my friend, but be careful not to make a fetish out of your truths.

While everyone in this world strives to get somewhere and become someone, only to leave it all behind after death, you aim for the supreme stage of nothingness. Live this life as light and empty as the number zero. We are no different from a pot. It is not the decorations outside but the emptiness inside that holds us straight. Just like that, it is not what we aspire to achieve but the consciousness of nothingness that keeps us going.

Submission does not mean being weak or passive. It leads to neither fatalism nor capitulation. Just the opposite. True power resides in submission a power that comes within. Those who submit to the divine essence of life will live in unperturbed tranquillity and peace even the whole wide world goes through turbulence after turbulence.

In this world, it is not similarities or regularities that take us a step forward, but blunt opposites. And all the opposites in the universe are present within each and every one of us. Therefore the believer needs to meet the unbeliever residing within. And the nonbeliever should get to know the silent faithful in him. Until the day one reaches the stage of Insane-I Kamil, the perfect human being, faith is a gradual process and one that necessitates its seeming opposite: disbelief.

This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. For not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does, He does it beautifully.

God is a meticulous dock maker. So precise is His order that everything on earth happens in its own time. Neither a minute late nor a minute early. And for everyone without exception, the clock works accurately. For each there is a time to love and a time to die.

It is never too late to ask yourself, “Am I ready to change the life I am living? Am I ready to change within?” Even if a single day in your life is the same as the day before, it surely is a pity. At every moment and with each new breath, one should be renewed and renewed again. There is only one-way to be born into a new life: to die before death.

While the parts change, the whole always remains the same. For every thief who departs this world, a new one is born. And every decent person who passes away is replaced by a new one. In this way not only does nothing remain the same but also nothing ever really changes. For every Sufi who dies, another is born somewhere.

A life without love is of no account. Don’t ask yourself what kind of love you should seek, spiritual or material, divine or mundane, Eastern or Western. Divisions only lead to more divisions. Love has no labels, no definitions. It is what it is, pure and simple. Love is the water of life. And a lover is a soul of fire! The universe turns differently when fire loves water.

Rumi’s quote on love and life

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Meet Dipti, an experienced yoga trainer, certified nutritionist, travel enthusiast and passionate lifestyle blogger. With years of expertise in yoga and a deep understanding of nutrition and wellness, Dipti is dedicated to helping others achieve their health and lifestyle goals. Through her engaging blog posts, Dipti shares her wisdom and insights on various topics ranging from yoga poses, healthy habits, personal development, travel, physical & mental health to mindfulness practices. Follow her on Instagram

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Review: Anne Lamott on love in all its forms from her own very human and flawed perch

A nne Lamott has been writing candidly about family, her recovery from alcoholism and her growing faith for 40 years. Those who’ve read her may feel like they’ve watched her grow up, or expect that she’s worked out the secret to life by now. But rest assured, Lamott’s still struggling, to stay human and to live imperfectly, navigating the beauty and challenges of each new sunrise, and opening to possibility.

In her 20th book, “Somehow: Thoughts on Love,” Lamott confronts the most complex of emotions in all its forms and contradictions.

“There is sweet family love, entangled by history, need, frustration and annoyance. There is community love, a love of music, Zorba’s reckless love of life. It can be vital or serene,” she writes. “There’s the ecstatic love — for the natural world, or in bed — there’s the love of justice or the radical transforming love of what we might call Goodness, Gus (Great Universal Spirit), or God.”

A wise but late bloomer, Lamott lives and writes as a god-conscious person in Marin’s material world. Turning 70 this month, she married for the first time at 65 and has been sober for 37 years. She’s a mother and a grandmother; her son, Sam Lamott, and her grandson show up in the book, as does her husband Neal Allen, and others so close, like the Rev. Tom Weston, they’re more like family than friends. Though her profession is a solitary one, Lamott’s daily life is filled with people and opportunities to express love.

“Isn’t she a Christian?” a skeptical friend of mine asked when I told her I was reading Lamott.

“Well, yes, but not that kind: She is progressive, inclusive,” I said. My friend eased, though not entirely. “I mean, she isn’t right-wing or evangelical.”

In contrast, Lamott favors what she terms “radical Jesus ... He of service and reckless love.” Her faith is also very Californian, embracing the tenets of Alcoholics Anonymous, the shared wisdom from her Jesuit friend Weston, sunset celebrations with the congregants of San Francisco’s Temple Emanu-El, and regular attendance at the Marin City Presbyterian church where she teaches Sunday school.

“I wanted to come back to a purer place in myself for which I don’t have words,” she writes of deciding to attend a Yom Kippur celebration at Baker Beach.

Often it is divine love, and a faith in small kindnesses, that Lamott calls on to ameliorate the fear, edginess and tenderness that interacting with others requires, whether communing with unhoused people, people in her own household, or the most irritating members of Congress and high office.

As with all of her deceivingly simply rendered pieces, Lamott’s foibles are central to the 12 stories told here. Reconciling her own flaws as the key to tolerance is implied. Falling short is a given, especially when seeking to understand folks whose views are different from hers, particularly when they’re on the political spectrum. But demonstrating love to those who cause harm just might be too much of a reach for her — that stuff is for saints; it’s next-level wellness. Yet, Lamott strives.

“Who am I?” she asks in the book’s title piece. “Pretty much the same as you. Human, flawed, gorgeous.”

Throughout “Somehow” she quotes thoughts on the way forward under difficult circumstances from spiritual teachers, scholars and writers of all faiths or none, including Arundhati Roy, Rumi and Susan B. Anthony’s great-grandniece Susan B. Anthony II. But Lamott is more than capable of crafting her own axioms.

“People like to say that time heals all wounds, and I think that is very nice but not entirely true: time does heal most things to some extent, and love gently tends the parts that still hurt,” she writes.

Lamott’s homespun homilies, patchworks of common wisdom and slogans like “one day at a time” might sound basic, but her boatload of self-awareness is genuine, and her dedication to craft elevates the writing from self-help journal to a companionable reader. Like the character Pollyanna in the best way, Lamott spins the inevitable everyday difficulties into delight, leavening the load with humor and empathy, while avoiding and even poking fun at “corrective thoughts” and “patronizing Christian bumper stickers” that seem to increase her despair.

Self-disclosure can be awkward, but Lamott’s voice is so finely tuned and adept at positioning the mirror for readers to see themselves, the books are not about her: They are words for anyone struggling against hope. “Somehow: Thoughts on Love” is a reminder — for those who need one — that it’s never too late to listen for the proverbial still small voice, the one within us that the world does its best to drown out, that it’s never too late to choose love.

Denise Sullivan is a freelance writer.

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The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
Elif Shafak's novel The Forty Rules of Love is a captivating and uplifting tale of love, friendship and spirituality. It interweaves the stories of a modern American woman and a 13th-century Sufi ...
The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
Elif Shafak. 4.13. 176,781 ratings20,427 reviews. Ella Rubenstein is forty years old and unhappily married when she takes a job as a reader for a literary agent. Her first assignment is to read and report on Sweet Blasphemy, a novel written by a man named Aziz Zahara. Ella is mesmerized by his tale of Shams's search for Rumi and the dervish's ...
THE FORTY RULES OF LOVE
The story's very ambiguity steadily feeds its mysteriousness and power, and Danielewski's mastery of postmodernist and cinema-derived rhetoric up the ante continuously, and stunningly. One of the most impressive excursions into the supernatural in many a year. 10. Pub Date: March 6, 2000. ISBN: -375-70376-4.
Book Review: The Forty Rules Of Love by Elif Shafak
The Forty Rules of Love is a delightful entanglement of two narratives - one set in the contemporary times with Ella, a housewife as the protagonist. Hers is a story of lost love and hope, till she finds herself changed because of a book she must read as a part of her new job's obligations. The second narrative is that of the book 'Sweet ...
The Forty Rules of Love, By Elif Shafak
Culture Books Reviews. The Forty Rules of Love, By Elif Shafak. Alev Adil. Friday 09 July 2010 00:00 BST. ... emails and braided through with Shams's theosophy as told through his 40 rules of love ...
Summary and reviews of The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
She is a bestselling author in many countries around the world and her work has been translated into 55 languages. 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in This Strange World was shortlisted for the Booker Prize and RSL Ondaatje Prize; and was Blackwell's Book of the Year. The Forty Rules of Love was chosen by BBC among the 100 Novels that Shaped Our World.
On My Bookshelf: The 40 Rules of Love Book Review
Shams imparts his wisdom in form of his "40 Rules of Love.". A series of spiritual commandments that become the centre of reflection within the narrative. While reading "Sweet Blasphemy" Ella realizes that Rumi's story mirrors her own, and that Aziz, like Shams, has come to set her free. Within both parallel narratives, Ella and ...
Book Marks reviews of The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
Turkish novelist Elif Shafak's new novel, The Forty Rules of Love, takes us into the life of a middle-aged Jewish woman from central Massachusetts, who as a reader for a literary agent, has just picked up a copy of a novel by a modern Sufi mystic ...This friendship turns Rumi's life upside down and eventually brings about Shams' own murder. Over the course of a few weeks in June, reading their ...
The Forty Rules of Love
The Forty Rules of Love is a novel written by the Turkish author Elif Shafak, Her interest in writing this book was influenced by the degree she received in Gender and Women's Studies. The book was published in March 2009. It is about Maulana Jalal-Ud-Din, known as Rumi and his companion Shams Tabrizi. This book explains how Shams transformed a scholar into a Sufi (mystic) through love.
The 40 rules of love
This book is a gem. "The forty rules of love" by Elif Shafak takes us through two parallel narratives - One set up in the contemporary modern world and the other in the mystical thirteenth century. Both the narratives are creatively woven together. Ella Rubinstein is a married woman living with her husband and three kids in Northampton.
The Forty Rules of Love Summary and Study Guide
The Forty Rules of Love is a 2009 novel by Elif Shafak. The book tells the story of Ella Rubinstein, a woman in her late thirties who has settled into the complacency of her life.She exists without drive or passion. The narrative follows her unlikely escape from what at first appears to be inevitable unhappiness. The novel also concerns itself with the deep, fraternal love between Sufi dervish ...
The Forty Rules of Love
About The Forty Rules of Love. In this lyrical, exuberant tale, acclaimed Turkish author Elif Shafak, author of The Island of Missing Trees (a Reese's Book Club Pick), incarnates Rumi's timeless message of love. The Forty Rules of Love unfolds two tantalizing parallel narratives—one contemporary and the other set in the thirteenth century, when Rumi encountered his spiritual mentor, the ...
Review: "The 40 Rules of Love" by Elif Shafak
If you would like to devour a book filled with multitude of knowledge and to bust out a laughing function that is often found in a good friend, the all time must read must be "The 40 rules of love".
Book Review: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
A line from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak. The book talks about the rules of the religion of love. A love that connects you to yourself, God and all the creatures he created. Love is not what you think. It is not something that connects you to only one person in life. Love, in fact, connects you to yourself and everyone and everything.
Elif Shafak's New Book Reviewed : NPR
Elif Shafak's New Book Reviewed Turkish novelist Elif Shafak's new novel, The Forty Rules of Love, takes us into the life of a middle-aged Jewish woman from central Massachusetts, who as a reader ...
40 Rules of Love (Book Review with Quotes)
40 Rules of Love (Book Review with Quotes) This is a book of two parallel narratives, the historical one of the 13th century mystic poet Rumi and his friend Shams, and a far weaker and somewhat unnecessary one of a forty year old housewife in Massachusetts. The novel celebrates the radical transformation of Rumi from scholar to poet, and his ...
The Forty Rules of Love: A Novel of Rumi
Paperback - April 26, 2011. In this lyrical, exuberant tale, acclaimed Turkish author Elif Shafak, author of The Island of Missing Trees (a Reese's Book Club Pick), incarnates Rumi's timeless message of love. The Forty Rules of Love unfolds two tantalizing parallel narratives—one contemporary and the other set in the thirteenth century ...
Book Review: The 40 Rules of Love
Author: Elif Shafak This book isn't a story, it's a journey. It isn't a sermon but a path laid with roses and thorns. This is how I felt as a reader who doesn't fancy this genre. The book came as a recommendation and didn't disappoint. The narrative is about a woman a homemaker and […]
The Forty Rules of Love
The international bestseller from the author of the Booker-shortlisted novel, 10 Minutes 38 Seconds in this Strange World, The Forty Rules of Love is part of our Penguin Essentials series which spotlights the very best of our modern classics *One of the BBC's '100 Novels That Shaped the World'* "Every true love and friendship is a story of unexpected transformation.
Book Review: The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
March 15, 2023. Book Review: Elif Shafak's 40 Rules of Love. By Amir Hamza. " The Forty Rules of Love " is a 2009 release, short fictional novel composed by Elif Shafak which revolves around the protagonist Ella and her forbidden love interest Aziz. It builds a story within a story by penning down the lesser-known tale of two famous ...
40 Rules of Love
Dipti Goyal. The 40 Rules of Love is a novel by Elif Shafak, tells the story of Ella Rubinstein. She is in her late thirties, is a mother of three kids living a settled life but still finds something missing in her life. She got a new job as an assistant editor in a literary agency. The first novel she got to review was "Sweet Blasphemy ...
40 Rules of love By Elif Shafak || Book Review
Watch my Review on Famous book '40 Rules of love' Written by Elif shafak. Follow my channel if you love to Read !Amazon link https://www.amazon.in/gp/product...
Comic Book Reviews for This Week: 4/3/2024
Other Publishers #1 AKOGUN: BRUTALIZER OF GODS #1. There is probably a simpler, more engaging way to kick off this story and build out its world, but Akogun's debut issue does at least set an ...
Review: Anne Lamott on love in all its forms from her own very human
A wise but late bloomer, Lamott lives and writes as a god-conscious person in Marin's material world. Turning 70 this month, she married for the first time at 65 and has been sober for 37 years.

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