essay on forgiving someone

66 Forgiveness Essay: Examples, Titles, & Thesis Statement

A forgiveness essay is an exciting yet challenging task. In our article, you can find good forgiveness essay examples in literature, history, religion, and other spheres

📝 Writing a Forgiveness Theme Statement

🏆 best forgiveness essay examples, 🔍 simple forgiveness titles for essay, 💡 interesting forgiveness essay examples.

In your forgiveness essay, focus on different aspects of forgiveness. Some good forgiveness titles for the essay reveal themes of revenge, justice, and personal forgiveness. You can write an excellent reflective or argumentative essay on forgiveness – it is a versatile topic.

Regardless of your forgiveness essay’s specific topic and type, you should develop a strong thesis statement. Below we will provide recommendations on making a good forgiveness theme statement. This will help you come up with a solid base and arguments to prove your position.

Check these tips to make a powerful forgiveness thesis statemen:

• Determine the primary idea. What are you trying to prove? Can anything be forgiven, or are there cases when it’s not possible? Introduce your one main idea and the angle from which you will look at it. You can also include some facts or opinions about the acuteness of the topic.
• Work out your argumentation. It is crucial to have a firm structure in your forgiveness essay. You need to support the thesis statement with several arguments and evidence to demonstrate the consistency of your paper.
• Think of the opposing views. Every argument has a counterargument. When working on your forgiveness theme statement, always keep an opposite thesis statement in mind. Having considered counter positions, you gain additional arguments for your position.
• Don’t quote others in your thesis statement. A thesis statement is the first and foremost chance to introduce your point of view. Use your own strongest words to reach a reader. This is where they get the first impression about the whole work.

We also have lots of other tips on developing A+ thesis statements. Check our free thesis statement generator to discover more information and get a perfect forgiveness theme statement.

• Divine and Human Forgiveness in “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” By Samuel Taylor Coleridge After killing the albatross who was suppose to provide them with wind, all the people in the ship died but he managed to survive because he had asked God to forgive him all the sins […]
• Hamlet and Forgiveness: A Personal Reflection Some of the most prominent themes in the story are the ideas of mutual forgiveness, people’s motivation to be proactive and take risks, and their willingness to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
• Christ’s Atonement and the Concept of Forgiveness This study will connect the atonement of Jesus Christ and attitudes towards forgiveness through the revision of the current church, Love and God’s commandment to forgive.
• Service Recovery and Customer Forgiveness Studies suggest that after apologizing to customers plus taking responsibility for the problem, getting to the root of the problem is very important to prevent such occurrences in the future. Getting to the root of […]
• Racial Inequality Targeted Student Loan Forgiveness Programs The research into this topic seems highly significant as the reduction of racial inequality was one of the most debated topics in the U.S.for the last several decades.
• Forgiveness in the Christian Texts and the World Today The apostle calls upon the church’s people to stop the punishment of the wrongdoer and forgive, comfort, and affirm their love for him. It instructs Muslims to follow God and forgive others instead of following […]
• Philosophy of Forgiveness I believe that if anyone had gone through all the pain and horror that Simon had, and was asked to forgive Karl, the instinct, and most humane reaction at that moment would be to strongly […]
• Forgiveness for Workplace Conflict Resolution The problem with the relationship between the two workers is that Jake feels that Monica is a relatively malicious individual. In the outlined scenario, Jake is doing all that he can to avoid dealing with […]
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy After gathering the relevant data, the researchers compared the recovery of the participants to their controls to determine the effects of forgiveness therapy.
• Self-Forgiveness: The Step Child of Forgiveness Research Other than the similarities and the differences, the two types of forgiveness relate to each other as self-forgiveness facilitates interpersonal forgiveness, this is through allowance of one to identify with one’s offender.
• The Amish Philosophy of Forgiveness It is important to note that the immediate forgiveness of the enemy does not mean that the Amish will let the perpetrators of crime go free.
• Review: “Interventions Studies on Forgiveness: A Meta-analysis” by Baskin T. and Enright R. In the church, members come to the pastor with a variety of social and psychological issues. The first step the pastor should undertake is to sympathise with the victims.
• Self-Forgiveness as the Path to Learning to Forgive the Others The key issues that the given research responds to or, at least, attempts to solve, are the definition of self-forgiveness, the relation between self-forgiveness and interpersonal forgiveness, and the means to differentiate between self-forgiveness and […]
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety and Posttraumatic Stress for Women After Spousal Emotional Abuse Enright forgiveness model applied in the study proved effective since it systematically addressed the forgiveness process identified the negative attributes caused by the abuse, and prepared the women for positive responses.
• Forgiveness & Reconciliation: The Differing Perspectives of Psychologists and Christian Theologians Based on the research design there is evidence of measures put in place to control against most of these biases which strengthens the study findings; this is the strength to the study.
• Forgiveness and Reconciliation Critique Availability of literature; as stated in the literature though the area of forgiveness is new in the field of psychology, but there is enough literature to cover the study.
• Forgiveness in Simon Wiesenthal’s Work The Sunflower Taking into account the major themes of the book The Sunflower, one is to make a conclusion that such response to atrocities as forgiveness is considered to be the key aspect of humanity.
• Forgiveness in Martin Luther’s Movement for Rights Blacks The bible teachings tell us that God exists in the holy trinity and the only way to forgive others is for us to be able to forgive our own transgressions.
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• The Spiritual Principle of Forgiveness in Wes Anderson’s Film The Royal Tenenbaums, Saint Augustine’s Confessions, and the Biblical Story of Adam and Eve
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• Love, Forgiveness, and Trust: Critical Values of the Modern Leader
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• Morals And Forgiveness In Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower
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• The Monster’s Lack of Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Book by Mary Shelley
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• Man Alive: A True Story Of Violence, Forgiveness And Becoming
• The Renaissance Figure That Wonders the Lands in Hope of Bring Forgiveness in the Pardoner and His Tale
• The Impact of Acceptance, Tolerance, and Forgiveness in Frankenstein, a Novel by Mary Shelley
• Racism, Redemption, Forgiveness and Hope in Minor Miracle, a Poem by Marilyn Nelson
• Why Perspective in Forgiveness and Redemption is so Important
• The Themes Punishment vs. Forgiveness Present in the Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne
• The Dynamics of Corporate Debt forgiveness and Contract Renegotiation
• Throwing Stones-Resilience and Forgiveness in The Glass Castle
• The Importance of Granting Forgiveness to One’s Enemies in Simon Wiesenthal’s The Sunflower: on Possibilities and Limits of Forgiveness
• The Meaning and Significance for Christians Today of Forgiveness
• Penalties and Exclusion in the Rescheduling and Forgiveness of International Loans
• Gender Differences in the Relationship Between Empathy and Forgiveness
• Conflicts And Forgiveness In Family
• The Importance of Perspectives in Forgiveness and Redemption
• The Economic And Ethical Ambiguities Of African Debt Forgiveness
• Exploring the Themes of Forgiveness and Reconciliation in The Tempest by William Shakespeare
• Vengeance and Forgiveness in Shakespeare’s The Tempest
• The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression
• Theme Of Betrayal, Revenge, And Forgiveness
• Unbroken A Story Of Redemption And Forgiveness By Laura
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Forgiveness Essay

• Author Kimberly Ball
• Category Popular Essay Topics

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Topic: Why is forgiveness important

Throughout your life, you will have to forgive people. Often times, forgiveness can be difficult. A wise man once declared, “Holding a grudge does not make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving does not make you weak; it sets you free.” Forgiving others allow you to overcome your anger, to heal spiritual wounds, and to be set free.

First, forgiving others allows you to overcome your anger. If you hold a situation against someone, you begin to also hold a grudge. This is also known as bitterness. Bitterness builds up over time and eventually, you become a negative form of yourself. Anger is not something you should hold in. It’s proven that anger is more than just an emotion, it has physiological effects on you.

Secondly, forgiving allows you to heal spiritual wounds. Matthew 6:14-15 “ For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” Once you forgive others, our Father in Heaven will forgive you. Healing spiritual wounds will allow you to grow closer to Jesus and your family in Christ. With spiritual wounds, you will never be fully whole.

Last, forgiving simply sets you free. Forgiving others will allow weight to come off your shoulders. When you do not forgive, a bad feeling exists inside of you. It makes you feel hatred. One element of life is loving everyone, you cannot do this until you forgive. You have to be a blessing. With bitterness in your thoughts and mind, you cannot do this.

Overall, you will have to forgive people every day. Everyone makes mistakes. You should forgive people as fast as you would want them to forgive you. Forgiving gives you the chance to overcome your anger, to heal your spiritual wounds, and to set you free. Forgiveness is the key to life.

Explain why it is important to forgive

The Freedom of Forgiveness

It is very important to forgive others. Forgiveness means to forget someone’s bad deed or mistake. Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never received. You react to someone else’s mistake can be vital to your life and the lives of the others around you. Avoiding forgiveness can leave frustration in your heart and destroy your personality. You must learn to forgive others and yourself. It is very important to forgive.

First of all, it is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. When you act in a response to an act or mistake, it could cause damage to good and bad sides. Fighting or taking revenge will only make a situation worse and it also means that you would commit a bad deed as well. If you do not fight or take revenge, but choose to forgive, you are at a higher place than the other person. By acting mature and not fighting or taking revenge, you will not damage your self-respect. Also, there will be peace between you and the other person because you both acted in a mature way. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake.

Secondly, it is important to forgive because avoiding forgiveness causes frustration in your heart and destroys your personality. If you forgive someone, you will feel better about yourself. Your heart and your mind will become more relaxed because you have peace in knowing that you do not have to be angry with anyone. In history, war broke out because countries could not forgive each other. If you simply learn to forgive, your mind and heart will be at peace instead of at war. Forgiveness is very important.

Lastly, forgiveness is important to you and the people around you. If you do not find forgiveness in yourself, others can become victims of your ego and revenge. If you are too prideful to forgive someone, you need to change your mindset. If someone does you wrong, you must treat everyone in a kind way because it is not their fault. If you don’t forgive yourself, you can’t forgive others. Forgiveness is very important to you and the people around you.

In conclusion, it is very important to forgive others. It is important to react in the right way to someone else’s mistake. It is important to never avoid forgiveness. Also, the way you react to forgiveness will affect you and the people around you. It is very important to forgive others.

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Forgiveness: Letting go of grudges and bitterness

When someone you care about hurts you, you can hold on to anger and resentment — or embrace forgiveness and move forward.

Who hasn't been hurt by the actions or words of another? Perhaps a parent constantly criticized you growing up, a colleague sabotaged a project or your partner had an affair. Or maybe you've had a traumatic experience, such as being physically or emotionally abused by someone close to you. These wounds can leave lasting feelings of resentment, bitterness and anger — sometimes even hatred.

But if you hold on to that pain, you might be the one who pays most dearly. By embracing forgiveness, you also can embrace peace and hope. Consider how forgiveness can lead you down the path of physical, emotional and spiritual well-being.

What is forgiveness?

Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger.

The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you. But working on forgiveness can lessen that act's grip on you. It can help free you from the control of the person who harmed you. Sometimes, forgiveness might even lead to feelings of understanding, empathy and compassion for the one who hurt you.

Forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It also doesn't necessarily mean making up with the person who caused the harm. Forgiveness brings a kind of peace that allows you to focus on yourself and helps you go on with life.

What are the benefits of forgiving someone?

Letting go of grudges and bitterness can make way for improved health and peace of mind. Forgiveness can lead to:

• Healthier relationships.
• Improved mental health.
• Less anxiety, stress and hostility.
• Fewer symptoms of depression.
• Lower blood pressure.
• A stronger immune system.
• Improved heart health.
• Improved self-esteem.

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge?

Being hurt by someone, particularly someone you love and trust, can cause anger, sadness and confusion. If you dwell on hurtful events or situations, grudges filled with resentment and hostility can take root. If you allow negative feelings to crowd out positive feelings, you might find yourself swallowed up by bitterness or a sense of injustice.

Some people are naturally more forgiving than others. But even if you tend to hold a grudge, almost anyone can learn to be more forgiving.

What are the effects of holding a grudge?

If you struggle with finding forgiveness, you might:

• Bring anger and bitterness into new relationships and experiences.
• Become so wrapped up in the wrong that you can't enjoy the present.
• Become depressed, irritable or anxious.
• Feel at odds with your spiritual beliefs.
• Lose valuable and enriching connections with others.

How do I move toward a state of forgiveness?

Forgiveness is a commitment to change. It takes practice. To move toward forgiveness, you might:

• Recognize the value of forgiveness and how it can improve your life.
• Identify what needs healing and who you want to forgive.
• Join a support group or see a counselor.
• Acknowledge your emotions about the harm done to you, recognize how those emotions affect your behavior, and work to release them.
• Choose to forgive the person who's offended you.
• Release the control and power that the offending person and situation have had in your life.

What happens if I can't forgive someone?

Forgiveness can be hard, especially if the person who hurt you doesn't admit wrongdoing. If you find yourself stuck:

• Practice empathy. Try seeing the situation from the other person's point of view.
• Ask yourself about the circumstances that may have led the other person to behave in such a way. Perhaps you would have reacted similarly if you faced the same situation.
• Reflect on times when others have forgiven you.
• Write in a journal, pray or use guided meditation. Or talk with a person you've found to be wise and compassionate, such as a spiritual leader, a mental health provider, or an impartial loved one or friend.
• Be aware that forgiveness is a process. Even small hurts may need to be revisited and forgiven again and again.

Does forgiveness guarantee reconciliation?

If the hurtful event involved someone whose relationship you value, forgiveness may lead to reconciliation. But that isn't always the case.

Reconciliation might be impossible if the offender has died or is unwilling to communicate with you. In other cases, reconciliation might not be appropriate. Still, forgiveness is possible — even if reconciliation isn't.

What if the person I'm forgiving doesn't change?

Getting another person to change isn't the point of forgiveness. It's about focusing on what you can control in the here and now. Think of forgiveness more about how it can change your life by bringing you peace, happiness, and emotional and spiritual healing. Forgiveness can take away the power the other person continues to have in your life.

What if I'm the one who needs forgiveness?

The first step is to honestly assess and acknowledge the wrongs you've done and how they have affected others. Avoid judging yourself too harshly.

If you're truly sorry for something you've said or done and want forgiveness, consider reaching out to those you've harmed. Speak of your sincere sorrow or regret. Ask for forgiveness without making excuses.

You can't force someone to forgive you. Others need to move to forgiveness in their own time. Remember, forgiveness is a process. Whatever happens, commit to treating others with compassion, empathy and respect.

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• Rakel D, ed. Forgiveness. In: Integrative Medicine. 4th ed. Elsevier; 2018. https://www.clinicalkey.com. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Forgiveness can improve mental and physical health. American Psychological Association. https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/01/ce-corner.aspx. Accessed Nov. 2, 2022.
• Silva RS, et al. Forgiveness facilitation in palliative care: A scoping review. JBI Evidence Synthesis. 2020; doi:10.11124/JBISRIR-D-19-00286.
• Martinez-Diaz P, et al. Victim's perspective of forgiveness seeking behaviors after transgressions. Frontiers in Psychology. 2021; doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2021.656689.
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‘Harvard Thinking’: Forgiving what you can’t forget

Wronged and can’t move on? In podcast, a theologian, a psychologist, and a public health expert discuss why and how to heal.

Samantha Laine Perfas

Harvard Staff Writer

What is forgiveness? In order to answer that question, it’s helpful to start with what forgiveness is not .

“Forgiveness is not the same as condoning the action, excusing it, or saying it’s all right. It’s not the same as foregoing justice,” said Tyler VanderWeele, the John L. Loeb and Frances Lehman Loeb Professor of Epidemiology at the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health and the director of the Human Flourishing Program. “My preferred definition for forgiveness is replacing ill will toward an offender with goodwill.”

But it’s not always that simple. Laura Thompson, a clinical and consulting psychologist, suggests that even neutral emotions toward the offender indicate forgiveness has been achieved. And Matthew Ichihashi Potts, the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals and the Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church, takes it one step further: One can still hold on to negative feelings, but make the choice to not return “harm for harm.”

“Forgiveness has been used by institutions to require people to give up their anger, sometimes anger which is justified,” Potts said. “Especially for victims of abuse, trauma, or violence, that deep pressure to forgive … can be burdensome and retraumatizing.”

Still, forgiveness is good for us.

“We see all kinds of mental health and physical health benefits as a result of [forgiveness],” Thompson said. She recognizes that forgiveness is difficult for many people, and even the term forgiveness has become loaded with expectations, guilt, and shame. Perhaps reframing forgiveness as “grudge management” creates more opportunities for people to explore these painful experiences and find healing.

In this episode, host Samantha Laine Perfas, VanderWeele, Potts, and Thompson talk about the challenges of forgiveness — and why it may be worth the effort.

Laura Thompson: There’s often a lot of pressure on the group or the party with less power to forgive so that it’ll just feel better for everybody and go away. And that just doesn’t work. That’s not forgiveness.

Samantha Laine Perfas: It’s not uncommon for individuals to hold grudges for years, if not entire lifetimes. Yet forgiving someone is good for us. It’s linked to better health, both physical and mental, and it has the power to deepen relationships in profound ways. So why is it so difficult to forgive someone when we’ve been wronged?

Welcome to “Harvard Thinking,” a podcast where the life of the mind meets everyday life.

Today we’re joined by:

Tyler VanderWeele: Tyler VanderWeele, I’m the Loeb Professor of Epidemiology at the Harvard T. H. Chan School of Public Health and also the director of the Human Flourishing Program.

Laine Perfas: He studies links between religion and health, as well as the science of happiness and flourishing. Then:

Matthew Ichihashi Potts: I’m Matt Potts. I’m the Plummer Professor of Christian Morals and the Pusey Minister in the Memorial Church at Harvard University.

Laine Perfas: He specializes in Christian theology and wrote the book “Forgiveness: An Alternative Account.” And our third guest:

Thompson: Laura Thompson, I’m a clinical and consulting psychologist.

Laine Perfas: She was a fellow at McLean Hospital and the Cambridge Health Alliance. Today, she mostly does clinical work and teaches and trains others in mindfulness through the Oxford Mindfulness Foundation and privately.

And I’m your host, Samantha Laine Perfas, and a writer for the Harvard Gazette. In this episode, we’ll talk about why forgiveness might be worth it, even if it’s hard.

Let’s kick off the conversation with some definitions. How do each of you define forgiveness?

Thompson: This is an interesting question. In the late ’90s, there was a lot of funding made available very generously to promote the research of forgiveness. And it really sparked this question of how do we think about forgiveness? There are these lay definitions that you might find in the dictionary that’ll say things like releasing resentment or anger, but sometimes included in that are things like condoning or pardoning. And from the psychological perspective, there really is a difference there; in looking at what’s happening psychologically when we forgive, it’s helpful to take a step back and think about what creates the conditions for forgiveness to even be an option. Something happens that really violates a person’s sense of either how another person should behave or should be, how the world should be, how they themselves should be. And in that, there’s this natural response of anger or anxiety or sadness, and there’s this opportunity for all kinds of ways to respond to that, and forgiveness is one. And it’s essentially a shift in the thinking, the feeling, the motivation, and the behavior about this transgression from the negative to either the neutral or the positive.

VanderWeele: Just building a bit on what Laura was saying, my preferred definition for forgiveness is replacing ill will toward an offender with goodwill; instead of wanting something bad to happen to them, wanting good to come to them. But understood in that way, forgiveness is not the same as condoning the action, or excusing it, or saying it’s all right. It’s not the same as foregoing justice. One can pursue justice and still want what’s ultimately good for the offender. It’s also not the same as reconciliation; in some cases it may be that the nature of the offense is that two people shouldn’t reconcile. But it’s wanting what’s good for them.

Potts: I think my definition is similar to the others’ but I approach the question as a scholar of religion and a moral theologian and a moral philosopher. In my pastoral experience, the association of forgiveness has been used by institutions to require people to give up their anger, sometimes anger which is justified, right? So the way I think about forgiveness is actually it’s not giving up a grudge necessarily. You might hold a grudge and still forgive. For me, I begin my forgiveness where I feel like the virtue has been abused by power, toward pressuring folks to give up their anger too prematurely, or pressuring folks to reconcile prematurely. And I’ve defined forgiveness as foregoing retaliation. I want to suggest that forgiveness tries to develop an idea of justice where we can imagine a future where we don’t need to return harm for harm or we can move on into the future without retaliation, but with still some sense of justice going forward. And so maybe that means grudges, maybe it means anger. It can include negative affect or negative emotion that might include a reluctance or refusal of reconciliation. But what there isn’t is continued retaliatory and reciprocal violence.

Laine Perfas: Just to summarize: Tyler, you are saying forgiveness is replacing ill will with goodwill; Laura, you’re saying it’s replacing ill will with either goodwill or neutral will. And then Matt, you are saying that forgiveness doesn’t necessitate getting rid of your negative emotions, it’s just foregoing retaliation. Could you talk about that a little bit more, because I’m having a hard time conceptualizing how you could forgive and yet still hold a grudge.

Potts: Yeah, I think a lot of this has to do with how we would define what a grudge is, right? In the Christian tradition, forgiveness is a virtue; in the New Testament it’s a mandated virtue: You must forgive in some ways. And especially for victims of abuse or trauma or violence, that deep pressure to forgive, when it includes a pressure to reconcile or a pressure to give up anger, can be burdensome and retraumatizing to victims. One of the reasons I’m thinking about anger with respect to forgiveness is because we know that there are classes of people who are less allowed to be angry in our culture. A lot of my work developed around hearing victims’ concerns around forgiveness, around the way it transfers responsibility for the repair of wrong from wrongdoers to victims, right? I’ve heard victims’ advocates and people in my congregation who have said, “I can’t do that. Why is it on me to do this? And if I don’t do it, I’m a bad Christian?” That might be conceived as still bearing a grudge. “I don’t want to reconcile with them because I don’t trust them.” But I would say that we have to allow and afford victims the right to decide when they can trust another person enough to reconcile with them. And so much of the Christian ethic is based in an idea of what love is and loving your neighbor and loving your enemy. The idea that anger cannot coexist alongside love, I think, is a dangerous idea. I think that anger and love can go together. And if Christianity is putting pressure on victims of wrongdoing to feel a certain way, that bothers me.

Thompson: You’re pointing at something so important, I think, which is the pressure that can be there either from a religious tradition, from members of a group, and there’s been some research showing that there are pressures that prevent people from forgiving as well as those that push people to do this outward forgiveness when the internal state hasn’t shifted. What’s happening internally? The thing that really seems to undergird a challenge in this shift into the neutral or the positive is this kind of angry rumination, grieving, the kinds of things where the mind gets really caught in cycling through something over and over again. And that’s what we do in response to trauma or to things that really violate our sense of how things should be. So that response is incredibly natural and what people do. In fact, people who are forgiving at a trait level aren’t less likely to respond that way. It’s not that people don’t ever feel those feelings. It’s that they have this capacity to make that shift and a lot of what seems to help that is the capacity to release that ruminative process, that getting really caught in cyclic thinking. And we see all kinds of mental health and physical health benefits as a result of that shift. We know that depression decreases. We know that the angry rumination and anxiety decrease. And along with that, the nervous system, the part of our nervous system that gets so activated when we are in this fight-or-flight mode has this chance to go into a sort of rest-and-restore mode. And I think it opens the door for things that can happen at the societal level or just relationships within families, within a couple, all of those levels. But I think Matt’s pointing at something just so important. It’s something that I found people writing about when we did narrative research, people did write about the pressure that they felt to forgive and to forget, having forgetting somehow linked with forgiving, that somehow the offense wouldn’t be there.

VanderWeele: The psychologist Everett Worthington makes what I think is a very helpful distinction between “decisional forgiveness” and “emotional forgiveness.” And decisional forgiveness is that commitment to replace ill will toward the offender with goodwill. And that’s within our control. It’s something we can do. The emotional forgiveness is the replacement of negative thoughts, emotions, feelings toward the offender with positive ones. And that’s not entirely within our control and may not always even be appropriate. But I think the distinction is helpful both with regard to the experiential aspects of forgiveness: how we can think we’ve forgiven and then the very next day we’re experiencing anger again. We don’t have to say, “Oh, no, that forgiveness wasn’t real.” It was real, but it was decisional forgiveness. It was that commitment to replace ill will with goodwill, but that doesn’t mean that the feelings of anger aren’t going to come back.

Laine Perfas: What is actually happening in our minds, body, spirit, when we’re struggling with unforgiveness? What is it that is being triggered?

Thompson: I think that when a person experiences a transgression it shakes everything up. It’s a violation of what we expect or think should be. And that’s very disorienting, and the natural response to that is to relate to it as a threat: This is not what was anticipated. And at some level, there’s a lack of feeling of safety or OK-ness. And that does activate our fight-or-flight response. And I think that’s what we’re seeing when people are responding to transgression not in forgiveness. And it is part of the process. There is no forgiveness without that, right? Because there would be nothing to forgive. So forgiveness is this capacity to hold simultaneously the reality of this very difficult wrong, which is charged and difficult to relate to, with the possibility of not being gripped by that; of releasing and having that transform into something that, at the very least, is at a neutral point.

Laine Perfas: We often hurt people that we’re really close to, or we’re hurt by people that we’re really close to. Is it harder to forgive that transgression when it’s someone who is so close to us?

Potts: I think it can cut both ways with an offense from a loved one. It seems even more wrong. This is someone I trust, and yet wrong has been done. And so I think the fact that the offense, the transgression seems greater, makes it more difficult to forgive. On the other hand, the empirical research also suggests that when we’re in an important relationship that has tremendous potential to contribute to our well-being longer term, it’s actually a bit easier to forgive, in those cases. So I think it’s a both/and: The transgression seems worse, and yet the motivation to forgive is often greater. I tend to think in marriages or in close relationships, it is in some ways fertile ground for developing that capacity to forgive. Because even smaller offenses can seem quite upsetting when it’s someone who is trusted or who is supposed to love you. In the context of marriage and family life and working through struggles and difficulties, that can happen repeatedly. And so there’s need for repeated seeking of forgiveness and offering of forgiveness.

Laine Perfas: One of the reasons we wanted to do this episode is because there’s been more research on forgiveness in recent years showing that there are pretty powerful health benefits. Could you talk a little bit about why forgiveness might be good for us?

VanderWeele: There have been dozens and dozens of studies that have indicated that those who are more forgiving and those who forgive specific offenses over time, improve in health and well-being. I’d say the strongest effects really are on mental health, on anxiety, on depression. The effects on physical health, there’s definitely some evidence that’s a little bit more disputed in what context for what groups of people, but the evidence on mental health is now extremely solid, and this includes now also dozens of randomized trials, the same sorts of study designs we use to look at cancer treatments or vaccines have been used to look at interventions to help people forgive who want to forgive but are struggling to do so. Those who participate have lower depression and lower anxiety as well as greater sense of forgiveness after even a few weeks. I think there’s really something to the effects of forgiveness on mental health. So to my mind, forgiveness tools should be considered even in routine mental healthcare.

Laine Perfas: How does forgiveness or lack of forgiveness affect entire communities?

Potts: One of the scholars that I engage in my book is John Paul Lederach. And although he’s a theorist and trained as a sociologist, his practical job has been going into post-accord conflict situations and negotiating peace between communities that have been doing awful things to each other, sometimes for generations. And he said all the bureaucrats feel like, “OK, there’s a treaty now, let’s all go have peace. Let’s move forward. Let’s do it.” And he said, when you go into the situations, you have to realize that nobody on the ground actually believes peace is possible because they have been so deeply hurt and so deeply wounded because people they love have been killed and places destroyed, their whole world’s turned upside-down. Why would they believe that peace is possible? They have no trust for the other side. They are completely pessimistic. And he said if you go in as an optimist telling them, “Hey, we can do this, peace is possible,” all they will hear is that you do not understand what they’ve gone through. And what they actually need someone to do is to understand how deep their pain is, which means actually engaging their pain really directly. And so what he calls it is the gift of pessimism. You have to believe, like them, that peace is not possible, and just sit with them as they process all the pain that they have to process. And he said that’s really the only way you get beyond it, right? Because the only future that can realistically be built must be built on truth about the past. Then forgiveness, insofar as it is this reckoning with the past in a serious and honest way, is really the only way forward for a peaceful future.

VanderWeele: I think there are very complicated issues with regard to forgiveness at the community level, as Matt indicated. I think another side of that is thinking about how is forgiveness operating at the societal level, just in day-to-day life? As a society, are we more or less forgiving? One might think of that as almost a preventive measure to try to avoid those massive conflicts, which do really require a more communal sense of forgiveness and of seeking of peace. I tend to think as a society we should work toward promoting forgiveness at the individual level. It’s not going to be a solution to the sorts of massive conflicts that Matt was describing, but again, it might help prevent those. So I think there’s a real question whether we’re creating a society in which ill will is spreading or in which goodwill is spreading. And I do think that practice of interpersonal forgiveness, even if it’s just with one’s spouse or friend, that moving toward that more forgiving disposition, I think, can have profound societal effects.

Laine Perfas: Are there any other examples we can point to that show how this failure shows up today?

Potts: If you want to look at what the failure of forgiveness looks like, one great example would be the American carceral system and mass incarceration in this country. If you think the purpose of punishment is to harm the offender, what you get is a criminal justice system which causes historically humongous levels of harm. A forgiving culture would not be one in which there was never discipline. But what we have in this country is a carceral system, which just causes untold misery and harm. In many cases, it seems just for harm’s sake, because returning harm for harm is what we think justice is, and then we mete that out culturally upon vast segments of the population. That’s a societal effect of forgiveness failing, I think.

VanderWeele: I very much agree with Matt, and I don’t think forgiveness is incompatible with seeking just punishment, but that needs to be oriented toward the good of the offender. I do think punishment can serve a role of expressing to the community that some wrong has been done. It can sometimes lead to reform. It can provide deterrence and restraint, but in all those cases we have to ask, is this level of punishment actually good for the offender and the community? And I think in most cases in this country, our punishments are excessive, are incompatible with forgiveness.

Laine Perfas: I like the framing of creating a culture of forgiveness. But at the same time, how do we balance encouraging forgiveness, knowing that it is beneficial for people and society, without pushing people or forcing them to do something that they’re not ready to do?

VanderWeele: I think one can encourage forgiveness by just recognizing the humanity of the other person. One can encourage forgiveness by noting the health benefits, as we discussed earlier, but I don’t think it should be ever forced. I do think it’s, again, not unreasonable to ask, however, are you struggling with anger? Do you want to forgive? If someone wants to forgive and is struggling with forgiveness, I think that’s a time where it’s not unreasonable to try to help them.

Thompson: As Matt has pointed to, there’s often a lot of pressure on the group or the party with less power to forgive so that it’ll just feel better for everybody and go away. And that just doesn’t work. That’s not forgiveness. So I think I would step back and say it’s a broad question about what are the conditions in society that enable groups of people to be safe enough to take that step to reconcile; and those are not always the same conditions that can promote that internal shift. People can make an internal shift in the absolute worst conditions. And that really is a gift that one can give to oneself. And those changes that are internal do support interpersonal changes, and those support societal changes.

I guess my suggestion from a psychological perspective would be that we can invite it in as an intention and invite in daily small habit changes. So it may be as simple as when you’re driving down the road and someone cuts you off in traffic and that huge nervous system response kicks in, right? And there can be all kinds of feelings and thoughts and behaviors associated with that, honking the horn or yelling or whatever it is. There’s that massive activation. It’s an opportunity to, as best you can, pause and invite in this other intention of allowing that to just settle and see the fear; there was this fear, there was this anger. It’s real that something terrible really could have happened. Sometimes what helps people is understanding the common humanity of the other person. I’ve gone into the other lane without seeing the person in my blind spot, right? I’ve been in a hurry. I’ve done all kinds of things. Sometimes just seeing the common humanity can be helpful in shifting this little habit, other times it’s just allowing our physiological self to calm down. Just letting that be and not kicking off the thoughts that keep that escalating and escalating. “I can’t believe that, that was just, who would do something like that?” That just intensifies it. Sometimes it’s easier to work with small things and small habit shifts and then invite those in bigger ways. There are no perfect processes. I think it’s something we’re very much grappling with in humanity.

Potts: I could build on that. I thought that was really wise, Laura. Just in response to your question, Sam, about like, how do we build a more encouraging society of forgiveness? One of the things that I thought that was really important, what Laura said, was that safety is so crucial. And because it is often vulnerable populations who experience pressure to forgive. If a vulnerable population is harmed and they’re angry about it, and then we respond saying, “Oh, be more forgiving,” what we’re basically telling them is, it wasn’t that big a deal. “You weren’t really harmed.” I think maybe ironically, the way to promote a more forgiving culture would be for us to be more patient with the anger of the vulnerable and to pay more attention and to recognize the righteousness of that anger, like where it comes from and why folks are angry. That develops the kinds of safety and develops the kinds of recognition and acts of redress that allow people to not maybe want to retaliate and not to not seek violence as a recourse. I mean, we have a very angry culture, so I feel weird saying this, but paying attention to and not stifling the anger of people who have been harmed and recognizing where the anger comes from and honoring it as natural, I think really that’s one of the first steps toward building a culture where forgiveness is more possible and doesn’t bear out as further oppression for people.

Laine Perfas: I think to do that well and effectively, it’s also important to go back to what is the proper role of anger in life. My view is that it’s to direct us to justice. I think anger that just wants harm for the other for harm’s sake is not going to be helpful, is not going to move us toward a more forgiving society. But when we recognize the wrong, when we take the wrong seriously, when we say we want to pursue a just outcome, I think that’s a really important step. So my final question is really for the listener. There might be people listening to this podcast that are really wrestling with forgiveness in their own life. Maybe they did something or maybe someone did something to them. Do you have any things that you could share that might help them think about forgiveness in a different way?

VanderWeele: I do think realizing what forgiveness is and is not is helpful. I do think some of the resistance toward forgiveness is thinking that this must entail foregoing justice or forgetting or excusing the offense. I think forgiveness really just understood as replacing ill will toward the offender with goodwill, it’s easier to swallow that, than to say, “I’m going to pretend that never happened.” And then second, I would say is that if someone wants to forgive and is struggling to do so, these forgiveness workbooks that Everett Worthington has developed and that in our research is evaluated in this large randomized trial are very helpful. It’s not for everyone. Don’t want to forgive, it’s not for you. But for someone who wants to forgive and is struggling to do so, [they] can download them freely from the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard, but I’ve found them very powerful, as have many others.

Thompson: One thing we haven’t talked a lot about is self-forgiveness. We tend to think a lot about forgiveness of another person, but as much as there may be a lot of anger outward, there sometimes can be blaming or shaming ourselves around that, for our own behavior and sometimes for things that happen to us. And so I think one piece of that is bringing in some gentleness with the self. I use mindfulness and I teach it. That’s one approach that can be very helpful. I know some people have used contemplative prayer practices, which is more in the Christian tradition and in other traditions. I think cognitive therapy can be very supportive because it really helps with shifting our relationship with what is. It doesn’t change what is. It just helps us change how we’re relating to that.

The other thing that came to mind was in a lot of studies where we’re looking at forgiveness classes or interventions, the majority of people who tended to sign up were women. The word forgiveness can sometimes be quite confronting or unappealing to men, and I’m talking a lot in Western culture because of the studies I’m talking about, but one thing that was interesting is I’ve seen researchers label their groups “grudge management” to attract men into the groups. That the idea of managing a grudge can feel much more appealing than the idea of forgiving, and so increasingly in my work I’ve moved away from the word forgiveness because it can be so charged with so many meanings in our culture. And I know that’s unpopular as we sit discussing forgiveness in this podcast, but honestly to sort of take a step back and think about it as a phenomenon, what are we discussing? And we’re discussing the capacity to hold simultaneously in our heart and in our minds this really terrible thing with the capacity for the neutral or the positive for the release from that. And I think most people do want that.

Potts: Thank you all for joining me for this really great conversation.

Thompson: Thank you.

VanderWeele: Really appreciated the conversation and discussion.

Potts: Yeah, thank you. Sam.

Laine Perfas: Thanks for listening. For a transcript of this episode and to listen to all of our other episodes, visit harvard.edu/thinking. This episode was hosted, produced, and edited by me, Samantha Laine Perfas, with additional editing from Ryan Mulcahey, Simona Covel, and Paul Makishima. Additional production support from Jill Radsken. Original music and sound design by Noel Flatt. Produced by Harvard University.

Recommended reading

• DIY Forgiveness Workbooks by Everett Worthington
• The Power of Forgiveness by Harvard Health Publishing
• Among the Brokenhearted: The Ministry of Matthew Ichihashi Potts by Harvard Magazine

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Essay on Forgiveness

Students are often asked to write an essay on Forgiveness in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Understanding forgiveness.

Forgiveness is when we stop feeling anger towards someone who has done something wrong to us. It’s like letting go of a heavy burden.

The Power of Forgiveness

When we forgive, we feel lighter and happier. It helps us to move on and not dwell on past hurts.

Forgiveness and Relationships

Forgiveness strengthens our relationships. It helps us to understand and accept others, despite their mistakes.

Learning to Forgive

Forgiving is not easy, but it’s important. We can learn to forgive by understanding that everyone makes mistakes.

Also check:

• Paragraph on Forgiveness
• Speech on Forgiveness

250 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Introduction.

Forgiveness, a virtue often preached yet seldom practiced, is the act of pardoning an offender. It is a complex psychological phenomenon that involves an intricate interplay between emotions, cognition, and actions.

The Significance of Forgiveness

The importance of forgiveness lies in its ability to release the negative emotions of anger, resentment, and the desire for retribution. This cathartic process promotes emotional well-being, reducing stress, and enhancing interpersonal relationships. It is a testament to human resilience and our capacity for empathy and compassion.

The Psychology of Forgiveness

From a psychological perspective, forgiveness is a conscious, deliberate decision to relinquish feelings of resentment or vengeance. This process involves a cognitive shift, a change in one’s attitude towards the offender, and a willingness to let go of negative emotions. It does not necessarily mean forgetting the offense or reconciling with the offender, but rather, it is about finding inner peace and moving on.

Forgiveness as a Social Construct

Sociologically, forgiveness is a social construct that helps maintain social harmony. It promotes reconciliation and prevents the perpetuation of a cycle of revenge and hostility. In this sense, forgiveness is an essential component of social cohesion and stability.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal growth and social harmony. It is a testament to human strength, resilience, and our capacity for empathy. The decision to forgive is a journey towards inner peace, one that requires courage, humility, and a profound understanding of the human condition.

500 Words Essay on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a multifaceted concept, deeply embedded in human interactions and fundamental to the continuity of social relationships. It is a conscious decision to let go of resentment or vengeance towards an individual or group who has harmed us, regardless of whether they deserve our forgiveness.

The act of forgiveness is a psychological process that involves a change in emotion and attitude towards an offender. It is a voluntary and deliberate act that requires effort and emotional resilience. The process is often complex, involving feelings of hurt, anger, and betrayal. However, it also opens the door to healing, peace, and the possibility of reconciliation.

Psychologists suggest that forgiveness can be a transformative process that promotes mental health, reduces anxiety, and enhances our well-being. It is a coping strategy that allows us to deal with interpersonal conflicts and emotional injuries. By forgiving, we free ourselves from the chains of bitterness, enabling us to move forward without the burden of past hurts.

The Philosophy of Forgiveness

Philosophically, forgiveness is seen as a virtue, an act of grace and compassion. It is a moral decision to absolve another of their wrongdoings, not out of obligation, but out of understanding and empathy. This perspective emphasizes the ethical dimension of forgiveness, viewing it as a moral duty or obligation.

However, forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning the wrongdoings. It does not eliminate the need for justice or accountability. Instead, it allows us to separate the person from their actions, acknowledging the harm done while choosing to let go of the resentment it has caused.

Forgiveness in Practice

Practicing forgiveness requires a high degree of emotional intelligence and maturity. It begins with acknowledging the hurt and allowing oneself to feel the pain. The next step is to empathize with the offender, trying to understand their perspective. This is followed by making a conscious decision to forgive, which often involves a verbal or mental declaration of forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a personal journey and there is no right or wrong way to go about it. It can be a slow and challenging process, but it also brings about personal growth and emotional liberation.

In conclusion, forgiveness is a powerful tool for personal and social transformation. It is a complex process that involves a conscious decision to let go of resentment and anger. While it can be challenging, the benefits of forgiveness extend beyond the individual to the broader community, promoting peace, reconciliation, and social harmony. Ultimately, forgiveness is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and its capacity for compassion, understanding, and love.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Football
• Essay on Food
• Essay on Feminism

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How to actually forgive someone: a guide from mental health experts.

It can be incredibly difficult to feel betrayed, hurt, or otherwise wronged by someone, and especially someone you love. Perhaps even harder? Forgiving them.

But forgiveness is just as much a gift to yourself as it is to them , so we asked experts how to forgive someone even when it's hard.

What does it really mean to forgive someone?

Forgiveness is essentially a letting go—of anger, resentment, or whatever it is you feel toward someone who you feel has wronged you. As psychologist Kristina Hallett, Ph.D. , previously explained to mbg , "Merriam-Webster defines forgiveness as 'to cease to feel resentment against an offender' or 'to give up resentment of or claim to requital.' It's an internal state of being, and it's not dependent on anyone but you."

She adds that your ability to forgive someone often has little to do with that person or what they did and everything to do with whether you can make that shift in your thoughts, feelings, and actions toward the person. And just because you forgive someone doesn't mean you're condoning the behavior or even that you're going to welcome this person back into your life—it just means you've made peace with what happened.

According to licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Zar, LMFT, CST , it's important to remember that it's only natural to be averse to forgiving: "It's a protective thing that we do, it's fight or flight , and it's human instinct to want to strike back or punish when we feel like we've been deeply wronged and hold on to that weapon we can build in future fights. But there does come a point where you can ask yourself, Is this actually serving me? "

To that end, she notes that we tend to conceptualize forgiveness as something we're giving to someone else when we should really think about it as something we do for ourselves. "It does start to feel like drinking the poison and hoping that somebody else will die," she explains—which brings us to our next point.

Benefits of forgiveness.

To understand the benefits of forgiveness , you have to understand what happens when you don't forgive. As Zar explains, "Holding on to a grudge, holding resentment—it's not good for us. It causes a lot of stress and anxiety, lower mood, and of course, relationship stress."

Hallett describes not forgiving someone as a mixture of anger, depression, and blame. But most of all, she says, "the opposite of forgiveness is stagnation—it's getting mired in an emotional place regarding a particular incident, and it prohibits future growth and discovery."

When we forgive, on the other hand, we're able to let go of all of the energy we're spending by not forgiving. "What forgiveness looks like is actually letting go and not giving energy to a situation which you have a very strong reaction to, or an individual that you have a strong reaction to, or relationship with an individual that you have a strong reaction to," psychotherapist Annette Nuñez, Ph.D., LMFT , tells mbg.

5 steps to forgiveness:

Understand why forgiveness is important..

Before you even begin to think about the particular situation you're facing, take a step back and reflect on your why . Why do you want to forgive, in general? As Nuñez explains, "I always ask my clients, What purpose does holding resentment or anger or sadness toward a situation serve? "

Reflect on that question, and some of the previous points mentioned above, and recognize the value of releasing emotional baggage and forgiving people when you've been wronged.

Assess who/what needs to be forgiven.

From this place of understanding, begin to think about the situation and person in question. Zar explains this is when you'll begin to start deciding whether you even can forgive them.

"Has that person done enough, or meant enough to you, that you want to see them as more than the thing they've done to you? Have they actually atoned ? Apologized? Earned your trust back if that's what's needed? Have they clarified that their intention wasn't to hurt you? Do you believe them? That's really important," she tells mbg.

She adds that a big aspect of forgiveness is safety, as well, so you can also assess whether you feel safe (emotionally and physically) around this person. When you can begin separating what the action was from who the person is, she says, you've begun to ease into forgiveness.

Do some inner work around the issue.

Nuñez says forgiveness also requires a degree of inner work, and namely, looking at how holding on to resentment is affecting you and why you're doing it. As aforementioned, it can be instinctual to not want to forgive, but are you holding on to anger out of fear ? Or a grudge? And how is that energy festering in your life?

Part of this step ties back to No. 1 and recognizing that forgiveness is a gift to yourself. Take your understanding of the value of forgiveness and apply it to the situation at hand.

Choose to release and forgive.

Once you've muddled through all the messy inner work and reflected on the situation, you can choose to release and forgive. And it is, ultimately, a choice. Zar and Nuñez both note that this step can involve a literal declaration of forgiveness, in which you tell the person you forgive them, but it can also be an internal process that you never actually speak about.

"You don't necessarily have to say, 'I forgive you.' You could write it on a piece of paper and let it go. That is just as important as actually telling an individual that you forgive them—it's very symbolic," Nuñez says.

Or, if you do want to verbalize your forgiveness, Zar says you can tell the person you are making the choice to let it go (whatever it is), and you understand that their action wasn't representative of who they are. "It's important to recognize that forgiveness isn't the same as letting your dog off the hook or saying what they did was OK, right? You can forgive someone and at the same time say, 'It's not OK, and you hurt me, and that's not acceptable behavior—and I'm choosing to forgive you. I'm choosing for me to move forward,'" she adds.

Be prepared for setbacks.

Thought we were done? Not quite. Zar says to anticipate some setbacks along the path of forgiveness, explaining that it's entirely possible for the issue in question to trigger you in the future.

"Forgiveness doesn't always happen in a linear fashion, and that's important to recognize," she explains. "Sometimes we think we let something go and then something triggers it and it comes back up, and that can be a normal part of the process."

In this case, notice when you are triggered , and come back to all of these points, remembering your "why," and further, why you chose to forgive this person initially.

When forgiveness may not be an option + what to do instead.

Sometimes, the hurt is too deep, and we cannot bring ourselves to forgive—or at least not yet. Regardless of what happened, in cases like this, Nuñez notes that it would be a good idea to seek the guidance of a professional to help you work through the negative emotions you're holding on to.

And even if you can't necessarily "forgive" this person (or people, or situation), it's still important to find a degree of acceptance so you're not harboring negativity unconsciously. "What takeaway did you get from this, even if you're unable to forgive somebody? How can we grow? How can we better ourselves from it?" she suggests asking yourself.

Whenever somebody feels they've been really wronged and forgiveness isn't an option, she adds, it's also important to assess how this is showing up in your life and whether it's eating away at you. "And if you find it's more negative and nagging than positive, then really seek a therapist to help you figure it out because there may be some deeper issue as to why it's eating away at you," Nuñez explains.

Moving forward.

When you've reached a place of forgiveness (or even reluctant acceptance), there are still steps to be taken moving forward. And according to Zar, setting firm boundaries is the main one.

Ask yourself what boundaries you need in place and what you need to help yourself move on, she says. If a friend has betrayed your trust , for example, the boundary is that you need more transparency from them. And while you can't necessarily count on the person in question to honor your boundary, you can count on yourself to hold it.

"In the meantime," she adds, "you might need some time apart, maybe saying, 'I'm not going to be coming to social gatherings for a few weeks because I'm working through this myself,' for example. Or it could also mean fundamentally changing the nature of the relationship ."

Zar tells mbg that depending on the situation, your course of action is going to look different. You may feel it's best to cut the person off entirely, see them less, or only see them in group settings. It's up to you to decide what's best for you given the situation.

"And you can forgive someone and do that at the same time. Forgiveness doesn't mean acting like nothing ever happened, but it really is about what can you do to get to a place of emotional and physical safety—and then once you're there, it becomes a lot easier to either accept a change in the relationship dynamic or accept that the person in the relationship is bigger or more important to you than what happened," she says.

The takeaway.

The bottom line is, forgiveness doesn't always come easy, but it is so worth it. As they say, anything that costs you your peace is too expensive, and by holding on to anger or resentment, we're only spending our own peace—not theirs.

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Forgiveness Defined

What is forgiveness.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

Just as important as defining what forgiveness is , though, is understanding what forgiveness is not . Experts who study or teach forgiveness make clear that when you forgive, you do not gloss over or deny the seriousness of an offense against you. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses. Though forgiveness can help repair a damaged relationship, it doesn’t obligate you to reconcile with the person who harmed you, or release them from legal accountability.

Instead, forgiveness brings the forgiver peace of mind and frees him or her from corrosive anger. While there is some debate over whether true forgiveness requires positive feelings toward the offender, experts agree that it at least involves letting go of deeply held negative feelings. In that way, it empowers you to recognize the pain you suffered without letting that pain define you, enabling you to heal and move on with your life.

While early research focused on forgiveness of others by individuals, new areas of research are starting to examine the benefits of group forgiveness and self-forgiveness .

For More: Read forgiveness expert Fred Luskin’s essay, “ What Is Forgiveness? ,” and Jack Kornfield’s thoughts on what forgiveness means . Learn more about forgiveness research in this summary of key studies and recent white paper , and consider: Is anything unforgiveable?

What are the Limitations?

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A new study suggests that men and women might experience forgiveness differently.

Which Feels Better, Forgiveness or Revenge?

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Why Practice It?

We often think of forgiveness as a kind, magnanimous act—an act of mercy or compassion extended to someone who wronged us. While that can be true, research over the past few decades has revealed enormous personal benefits to forgiveness as well. According to that research, here are some of the most compelling ways forgiveness is good for us, our relationships, and our communities.

• Forgiveness makes us happier : Research suggests not only that happy people are more likely to forgive but that forgiving others can make people feel happy , especially when they forgive someone to whom they feel close.
• Forgiveness protects our mental health : People who receive therapy designed to foster forgiveness experience greater improvements in depression, anxiety, and hope than those who don’t. Forgiveness may also play a role in preventing suicide .
• Forgiveness improves our health : When we dwell on grudges, our blood pressure and heart rate spike—signs of stress which damage the body; when we forgive, our stress levels drop, and people who are more forgiving are protected from the negative health effects of stress . Studies also suggest that holding grudges might compromise our immune system, making us less resistant to illness.
• Forgiveness sustains relationships : When our friends inevitably hurt or disappoint us, holding a grudge makes us less likely to sacrifice or cooperate with them, which undermines feelings of trust and commitment, driving us further apart. Studies suggest that forgiveness can stop this downward spiral and repair our relationship before it dissolves.
• Forgiveness is good for marriages (most of the time): Spouses who are more forgiving and less vindictive are better at resolving conflicts effectively in their marriage. A long-term study of newlyweds found that more forgiving spouses had stronger, more satisfying relationships . However, when more forgiving spouses were frequently mistreated by their husband or wife, they became less satisfied with their marriage.
• Forgiveness boosts kindness and connectedness : People who feel forgiving don’t only feel more positive toward someone who hurt them. They are also more likely to want to volunteer and donate money to charity, and they feel more connected to other people in general.
• Forgiveness can help heal the wounds of war: A research-based forgiveness training program in Rwanda , for instance, was linked to reduced trauma and more positive attitudes between the Hutus and Tutsis there. A study of people who learned forgiveness skills in war-torn Sierra Leone found that they reported feeling less depressed, more grateful, more satisfied with life, and less stressed afterward. Perhaps most famously, South Africa’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is widely credited with encouraging forgiveness and reconciliation after the end of apartheid in that country. Archbishop Desmond Tutu , the commission’s chairman, has argued that forgiveness is the path to “true enduring peace.”
• Forgiveness is good for kids and teens: Kids who are more forgiving toward their friends have higher well-being. Forgiveness training can help adolescent girls who are bullies and bullied decrease their anger, aggression, and delinquency, while increasing their empathy and improving their grades.
• Forgiveness is good for workplaces : Employees who are more forgiving are also more productive and take fewer days off, partly thanks to reduced stress around their relationships.
• People who practice self-forgiveness tend to have better physical and mental health . Forgiving ourselves may also improve our relationships .

For More: Learn more about the benefits of forgiveness in researcher Everett Worthington’s article, “ The New Science of Forgiveness ,” and in Archbishop Desmond Tutu’s essay, “ Forgiveness + Reconciliation .”

How Do I Cultivate It?

According to Robert Enright , Fred Luskin , and other experts, forgiveness isn’t just for the deeply magnanimous among us; it’s both a choice and a trainable skill that almost anyone can learn. Fortunately, research suggests that the capacity for forgiveness is an intrinsic part of human nature . Here are some research-based strategies for tapping into that capacity, whether you’re trying to forgive others, forgive yourself, or seek forgiveness from someone else.

• View forgiveness as something for you, not a gift to someone else: In his Nine Steps to Forgiveness program, Fred Luskin emphasizes that forgiveness is best seen as something that will bring you peace, closure, and reduce your suffering—a point echoed by Jack Kornfield in this video.
• Articulate your emotions : If you want to forgive or be forgiven, be willing to express how you’re feeling to others and to yourself. Ruminating on negative feelings is both unhealthy and unproductive. As the GGSC’s Christine Carter argues, this is an important lesson to teach kids as well.
• Look for the silver lining: This can be a controversial tip, but research suggests that after someone hurts you, you can forgive more easily by reflecting on the personal benefits you may have gained through the transgression. Writing about those benefits might be especially helpful.
• Make an effective apology: If you’re seeking forgiveness from others, studies suggest that apologizing will help—but weak apologies might only make things worse. Researcher Aaron Lazare has studied apologies for years, concluding that an effective apology has four parts: It acknowledges the offense, offers an explanation for the offense, expresses remorse or shame, and involves a reparation of some kind.
• Cultivate empathy : When someone has been hurt, they’ll be more likely to forgive—and less likely to retaliate—if they can sense or imagine the distress or remorse felt by the person who hurt them. This might explain why apologies foster forgiveness.
• Practice mindfulness: Training in mindfulness can help college students become more forgiving, perhaps because awareness of painful feelings is part of the process of forgiveness. More mindful people are also more forgiving of betrayal .
• Humanize the Other through contact : Research in Northern Ireland found that people on both sides of the violence there were more likely to forgive if they came into contact with someone from the other side, perhaps because it reduced feelings of anger and encouraged them to see the other’s humanity.
• Don’t let yourself off too easy: Research suggests that forgiving yourself for mistakes can sometimes reduce your empathy for others and your motivation to make amends. For a more healthy way to forgive yourself, read these research-based steps , which include empathizing with your victim and honestly reflecting on what you did wrong, or follow this process recommended by Rick Hanson.
• Seek peace, not justice: In his forgiveness program , Robert Enright emphasizes that forgiveness is separate from justice. The people who hurt you may never get their just desserts, but that shouldn’t prevent you from moving on with your life.
• Understand that forgiveness is a process : True forgiveness doesn’t happen in an instant; instead, it takes time and energy to achieve, and might not come easily.
• Overcome barriers to forgiveness: Research reveals some common fears and concerns to address if we are resistant to forgiving.
• Foster a forgiving school: Build a school climate of care and fairness in order to facilitate forgiveness among teachers and staff.
• Raise forgiving kids : Parents can help kids learn forgiveness by modeling it themselves, and allowing kids to move through the process of forgiveness at their own pace.

For more: Check out Christine Carter’s tips for teaching forgiveness skills to children, adapted from Luskin’s nine steps. And she offers these tips for fostering forgiveness in families.

Leading forgiveness researchers have also developed their own evidence-based programs to foster forgiveness, including the following.

• Luskin’s Nine Steps to Forgiveness , which involve a mix of cognitive and meditative strategies, from articulating your grievance to shifting your expectations from life to revising the way you look at your past.
• Robert Enright’s Forgiveness Process Model , which consists of 20 steps divided into four phases : the Uncovering Phase , where one becomes aware of the true emotional stress he has suffered; the Decision Phase , where one commits to forgiving rather than continuing to focus exclusively on his suffering; the Work Phase , where one comes to accept—but not condone—the pain he has suffered, no matter how undeserved; and finally the Outcome/Deepening Phase , where one recognizes the relief and meaning he is gaining from forgiveness. Read Enright’s tips for moving through this process .
• Everett Worthington’s REACH method for forgiveness, which involves five steps: R ecall the hurt, E mpathize with the person who hurt you, offer an A ltruistic gift of forgiveness, C ommit to forgive (ideally publicly), and H old onto that forgiveness.

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Student Opinion

Has Forgiving Someone Ever Made You Feel Better?

New research suggests forgiveness improves mental well-being. Has that ever been true for you?

By Natalie Proulx

Think back to a time when you felt wronged by someone. Did you forgive that person? Or are you still holding a grudge? Do you think you would feel better if you were able to let go of what happened? Why or why not?

In “ The Emotional Relief of Forgiving Someone ,” Catherine Pearson writes about the effect that replacing ill will with good will can have on our mental health:

For someone who’s led a charmed life, my 8-year-old can hold a serious grudge. Out of the blue, he recently brought up “that bad pencil thing that happened.” It took me a while to divine that he was talking about the classmate who nabbed one of his writing utensils … nearly two years ago. I thought about my son’s inability to let go of The Great Pencil Incident of First Grade when I learned recently about new research that suggests forgiveness improves mental well-being — and offers a road map for getting there. In the study, which was presented last week at an interdisciplinary conference on forgiveness at Harvard and is currently under review for publication, researchers randomly assigned 4,598 participants from five countries into groups. One set received a forgiveness workbook with exercises they completed on their own. (An example: Write the story of a specific hurt you want to forgive. Then write it again as more of an observer, without emphasizing how bad the wrongdoer was or how you felt victimized. Look for at least three differences between the two versions.) Those in the control group waited for two weeks before receiving the workbook. When the two weeks were up, researchers found that those participants who’d completed the workbook felt more forgiving than those in the control group — and had reduced symptoms of anxiety and depression. These findings jibe with other studies on forgiveness, which have found it can be a boon to mental health, helping to do things like lower stress and improve sleep . “What forgiveness does is sort of free the victim from the offender,” said Tyler VanderWeele, the director of the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard and one of the co-authors of the study. “I would never say ‘Once you’ve forgiven, everything’s fine.’” But it is a better alternative to rumination or suppression, he said. And that is likely why it can improve overall mental well-being. As my son shows, it can be hard to forgive even minor transgressions — and I’m not dunking on him here. I could easily prattle off a list of perceived offenses I’ve been holding onto for years. But Dr. VanderWeele believes forgiveness is a skill that can be practiced.

Students, read the entire article and then tell us:

Are you someone who tends to hold grudges? Or do you forgive easily? Why do you think you react how you do? Does the article convince you to give forgiveness a try — if for no reason other than improving your own mental well-being?

Has forgiving someone ever made you feel better, as the research here suggests? If so, tell us a story about a time when you forgave someone and the effect it had on you.

Tyler VanderWeele defines forgiveness as replacing “ill will toward the offender with good will.” But, he said, “Forgiveness is not forgetting the action or pretending it didn’t happen; it’s not excusing or condoning the action, and it’s not the same as reconciling or forgoing justice.” What do you think of this definition? What does true forgiveness look like to you?

Dr. VanderWeele shares several strategies for practicing forgiveness. Which, if any, would you try? How do you think those tips could help you?

“In a society like the one we’re living in, with increasing polarization and animosity, that disposition to forgive is potentially very much needed,” Dr. VanderWeele said. Do you agree? Do you think our society could use more people who are willing to forgive? What do you imagine our world might look like if that were the case?

Students 13 and older in the United States and Britain, and 16 and older elsewhere, are invited to comment. All comments are moderated by the Learning Network staff, but please keep in mind that once your comment is accepted, it will be made public and may appear in print.

Find more Student Opinion questions here. Teachers, check out this guide to learn how you can incorporate these prompts into your classroom.

Natalie Proulx joined The Learning Network as a staff editor in 2017 after working as an English language arts teacher and curriculum writer. More about Natalie Proulx

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Forgiveness — An Importance of Forgiveness

How I Understand The Importance of Forgiveness

• Categories: Forgiveness

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Words: 2185 |

11 min read

Published: Jul 30, 2019

Words: 2185 | Pages: 5 | 11 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, why is it important to forgive (essay), works cited.

• Braithwaite, J. (1990). Reintegrative shaming and restitution. In M. Tonry & N. Morris (Eds.), Crime and justice: An annual review of research, (Vol. 12, pp. 1-41). University of Chicago Press.
• Enright, R. D. (2015). Forgiveness is a choice: A step-by-step process for resolving anger and restoring hope. American Psychological Association.
• Exline, J. J., Baumeister, R. F., Zell, A. L., Kraft, A. J., & Witvliet, C. V. (2008). Not so innocent: Does seeing one's own capability for wrongdoing predict forgiveness?. Journal of personality and social psychology, 94(3), 495–515.
• Gandhi, M. (1958). The essence of Hinduism. Asia Publishing House.
• Hofmann, W., & Gómez, R. (2014). Yes, forgiveness requires time: A longitudinal study. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 5(5), 548–555.
• McCullough, M. E., Root, L. M., & Cohen, A. D. (2006). Writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression facilitates forgiveness. Journal of consulting and clinical psychology, 74(5), 887–897.
• Paleari, F. G., Regalia, C., & Fincham, F. D. (2005). Marital quality, forgiveness, and jealousy: A cross-cultural comparison between Italy and the United States. Journal of Marriage and Family, 67(4), 956–965.
• Pollard, E. L., & Finkel, E. J. (2011). The effects of forgiveness and focus on revenge on emotional and physiological responses to an interpersonal insult. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 47(6), 1203–1208.
• Strelan, P., & Covic, T. (2006). A review of forgiveness process models and a coping framework to guide future research. Journal of social and clinical psychology, 25(10), 1059–1085.
• Worthington Jr, E. L., Sandage, S. J., & Berry, J. W. (2000). Group interventions to promote forgiveness: What researchers and clinicians ought to know. Group Dynamics: Theory, Research, and Practice, 4(1), 58–69.

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Cosgrove, Lisa, and Mark Konstam. “Forgiveness: A New Paradigm for Healing and Growing.” Behavioral Medicine, vol. 34, no. 3, 2008, pp. 107-115.Mayo Clinic Staff. “Forgiveness: Letting Go of Grudges and Bitterness.” Mayo Clinic, [...]

Enright, Robert D., et al. 'The Forgiving Life: Acceptance, Hope, and Resilience.' American Psychological Association, 2012.Clinton, Timothy E., Hart, Archibald D., & Ohlschlager, George. 'Caring for People God's Way: Personal [...]

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Reflections: Forgiving In Difficult Situations

October 2015.

In July 1963, near the end of his life, C.S. Lewis wrote a letter to a lady in Washington, DC who was in a situation where, as Lewis put, she faced “as difficult a job in the forgiving line as can well be imagined.” As part of his letter, Lewis recounted a very personal story about his own efforts at forgiving someone who had done him great wrong:

Do you know, only a few weeks ago I realised suddenly that I at last had forgiven the cruel schoolmaster who so darkened my childhood. I’d been trying to do it for years: and like you, each time I thought I’d done it, I found, after a week or so it all had to be attempted over again. But this time I feel sure it is the real thing. And (like learning to swim or to ride a bicycle) the moment it does happen it seems so easy and you wonder why on earth you didn’t do it years ago. So the parable of the unjust judge comes true, and what has been vainly asked for years can suddenly be granted. I also get a quite new feeling about ‘If you forgive you will be forgiven.’ I don’t believe it is, as it sounds, a bargain. The forgiving and the being forgiven are really the [very] same thing. But one is safe as long as one keeps on trying. 1

Lewis well understood the importance, indeed the necessity of forgiving others. In his essay “On Forgiveness,” written in 1947, 2  Lewis had stated:

We believe that God forgives us our sins; but also that He will not do so unless we forgive other people their sins against us. There is no doubt about the second part of this statement. It is in the Lord’s Prayer; was emphatically stated by our Lord. If you don’t forgive you will not be forgiven. No part of His teaching is clearer, and there are no exceptions to it. 3

Even when we understand the importance of forgiving others, it can sometimes be very hard, and especially in difficult situations, may require repeated efforts and much prayer. As Lewis recounted in his letter, it literally took him years before he succeeded in forgiving his cruel schoolmaster. Is there anyone you need to forgive, perhaps in a situation where forgiveness is very hard? In such a situation, it may be helpful to remember Lewis’s example and his advice to keep on trying. It may also be helpful to seek prayer and counsel from a godly pastor or elder.

“…for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.” PHILIPPIANS 2:13 (ESV)

1 C.S. Lewis,  Collected Letters, vol. III, Narnia, Cambridge and Joy, 1950-1963,  edited by Walter Hooper,    (HarperCollins London, 2006), p. 1438. 2 The essay was not published until 1975. C.S. Lewis,  The Weight of Glory,  Introduction by Walter Hooper (SanFrancisco: HarperCollins, 2001), pp. 20-21. 3 C.S. Lewis,  The Weight of Glory  (SanFrancisco: HarperCollins, 2001), p. 178.

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Essay Sample On Forgiveness

One of the most challenging things in life is to forgive someone. Forgiving someone and meaning it is a difficult task to do mostly because the people who got hurt don’t feel as if the ones who hurt them deserve it. What people don’t know is that forgiveness isn’t for the ones who hurt you, it’s for yourself. People also tend to forget that just because someone apologizes to you doesn’t mean you have to forgive them. Forgiveness takes time; it's not an overnight thing, but never forgiving someone can hurt you in the long run rather than help you.

The reason why forgiveness is so hard is that people will hold grudges. They think that holding this grudge will either punish the one who hurt them or protect them from getting hurt again. The only thing holding a grudge will do is harm you, not the other person. It disrupts your ability to cope with or resolve your issues and keeps you stuck in the past. Forgiveness can give the feeling of freedom because you choose to separate yourself from the negative outcome you had experienced in the past. It might not happen immediately because, like all things, it takes time for you to realize that you chose to get better and move on rather than stay in the past.  

Now don’t think that just because you forgive someone it excuses what they have done or that you should forget about it. Knowing the differences between forgiving and forgetting is something everybody should know. Forgetting means believing what happened didn’t happen and that’s not a healthy way to live. The reason you need to remember what happened to you is so that you can learn from the experience you gained no matter how painful or small it may be. Forgetting about something doesn’t make it better but forgiving them can help the wound they have given you. You also do not have to trust the person who hurt you just because you have forgiven them. Trust can be rebuilt but that doesn’t mean it has to be the same type of trust you had in that person before or that it has to be built back up that’s completely up to you not other people. 

Forgiving is hard but not impossible. It might come naturally to you or it might not but know that forgiving someone is more beneficial to you than it is to the other person. Know you don’t have to forgive someone right away or that you have to forgive them if they apologize to you. Remember forgiveness is for you and only you, never for the other person. You are the one who will feel something positive they might but guilt is more to what they will be feeling for what they have done. It might seem that it is for them but you are the ones choosing to overcome your negative experience and moving on with your life. That’s what true forgiveness is. I know this because I had to learn how to forgive others after they hurt me.

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Forgiveness

When forgiveness can be detrimental to trauma recovery, deconstructing the myth of "forgive and forget.".

Posted May 2, 2024 | Reviewed by Tyler Woods

• The Importance of Forgiveness
• Find a therapist near me
• Forgiveness is advertised as a prerequisite for trauma recovery.
• When the person is unable to find forgiveness for those who have hurt them, they may feel ashamed.
• Once the prerequisite of forgiveness and love toward abusers is lifted, healing becomes possible.  

Even though, in many ways, the narrative of forgiveness sides with the abuser rather than the victim, in Western culture, it is advertised as a prerequisite for trauma recovery. Many therapeutic techniques, mindfulness , guided meditation practices, spiritual , and religious teachings revolve around this idea. However, putting the responsibility of healing on the victim and requiring them to subscribe to feelings that they may not have can cause re-traumatization.

The phenomenon of "forgive and forget" becomes increasingly complex in familial trauma. As our society puts the family on a pedestal, deeming it sacred, those who have been neglected or abused within their families feel marginalized, broken, and rejected. The glorification of the family unit adds to the torment of the victim. When the person is unable or unwilling to find compassion and forgiveness for those who have hurt them, they may succumb to shame .

As a trauma therapist with two decades of experience, I have yet to see evidence that forgiveness actually leads to healing and there is scholarly evidence it does not (Mills 2019). On the contrary, the ethos of "forgive and forget" can result in further minimization of abuse and continued silence (Archer 2019). Additionally, forgiveness may interfere with the willingness to report the abuser, thus feeding into the cycle of abuse.

When I was working in a major healthcare system in the Bronx, one of my clients, a youth offender, who was repeatedly molested by his father, was advised to learn to let go, to forgive and forget, to find compassion in his heart . He came to my office angry. “If I forget, how am I gonna protect myself against that mf’er,” he said, distraught.

I couldn’t agree more. Advising the victim to find compassion for those who have hurt them only leads to further self-alienation and torment. Unmet childhood needs and unprocessed pain reinforce narratives of being unworthy of love, not good enough, or that relationships are unsafe. It leads to disregarding one’s own emotions, needs, and desires, thus results in the denial of the true self.

The goal of therapy is not to forget what happened, learn to forgive the abusers, or find ways to heal the relationships with those who have hurt us. It is to reach that little child we once were and allow them the sense of safety and compassion they so longed for but never had.

So often, children are made to believe that every action is done out of love, with good intentions, in the name of protection. Abusive behaviors, such as withholding love, silent treatment, or corporal punishment , are often delivered with the understanding that it is for the child’s own good that punishment is necessary.

It Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You

As children depend on their parents for survival, hating parents is unimaginable, whereas self-hate is legitimate. In my practice, I often hear sentiments such as “They didn’t know any better,” “They did the best they could,” and “That’s what they knew.” These stem from the dysfunctional description of what healing is.

When raised in abusive homes, the child desperately tries to locate the love that the social contracts dictate they must have toward their parents, and when they cannot find it within themselves, they believe that something must be wrong with them. They are then left crippled with shame and unable to extend their love for themselves or to those who deserve their love either.

Healing Is About Moving Through the Pain, Not Past It

Compassion is what leads to healing, but not the compassion we try to find within ourselves for the abusers, but the compassion for ourselves. The idea that someone who is cold in their heart toward someone who has hurt them as a child is a toxic, damaging, narrative that perpetuates continued abuse.

So many abuse victims are riddled with self-loathing and shame while desperately looking for forgiveness within themselves for the people who have hurt them in unforgivable ways. This leads to self-abandonment and manifests in self-destructive behaviors, dissociation, nihilism, cynicism , and repeating dysfunctional relationship patterns.

The deprivation of our childhood needs, and the fear , and humiliation of being emotionally, sexually, or physically abused never subsides. The inner child continues to try to make sense of the abuse and continues self-deprecating narratives. Until they can give that love to the child they once were, and give themselves permission to quit looking for compassion, forgiveness, and love for those who don’t deserve it, true healing will not be possible.

What is preached is to replace resentment and anger with compassion and forgiveness to the person who hurt you. Forgiveness continues the silence of abuse and gives the victim a false sense of closure. Finding ways to maintain a relationship with abusers, whether they are family or not, should never be a requirement of healing.

There are many trauma survivors who only begin healing when they decide not to forgive their abusers. Contrary to social misconceptions, many thrive when they cut ties with their abusers.

Once the prerequisite of loving people who violated their soul and body is lifted, extending love to oneself, and then to those who deserve that love, becomes possible.

Archer, A, Mills, G (2019). Anger, Affective Injustice, and Emotion Regulation. Philosophical Topics 47 (2):75-94.

Balan, D (2023). Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal . Routledge.

Herman, J. (2022). Trauma and Recovery. Basic Books

Miller, A (2006). The Body Never Lies: The Lingering Effects of Cruel Parenting. W.W. Norton & Company.

Mills, G. (2019). Swallowing Traumatic Anger: Family Abuse and the Pressure to Forgive. Public Philosophy Journal .

Duygu Balan, LPCC , is a psychotherapist and the co-author of Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook of Creative Writing and Recovery in Our New Normal.

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Forgiven Someone When it Was Hard to Do So

Forgiven Someone When it Was Hard to Do So.  Exams are the part of life but there are many way to examine some one. In English to write a composition is one of the way to examine a candidate tallent.  In many board exam asking  questions about composition (story)  is the best way to understand the capability of a candidate.

Write a composition in 300- 350 words. “Have you ever forgiven someone when it was hard to do so? Explain what helped you to forgive them, and the positive impact it had. What did you learn from the experience?”

A few years ago, a close friend betrayed my trust in a profound way. The pain and disappointment I felt were overwhelming. I found it incredibly difficult to fathom how someone I cared about deeply could have hurt me so deeply. The anger and resentment within me grew, consuming my thoughts and poisoning my relationships with others.

Also read–Write a ” A Narrow Escape” Compositions for English in 300 words

However, as time passed, I began to reflect on the situation and question the weight I was carrying. I realized that holding onto anger and resentment was only hurting me further. It was like carrying a heavy burden that weighed me down and prevented me from moving forward

What helped me to forgive

What helped me to forgive was a combination of introspection and empathy. I recognized that holding onto my anger was not serving me any longer. It was eating away at my happiness and preventing me from healing. I also considered the possibility that my friend was going through personal struggles or facing challenges that I may not have been aware of. This understanding allowed me to empathize with their actions, even if I couldn’t condone them.

Forgiving was not an instant process

Forgiving was not an instant process. It required conscious effort and a willingness to let go. I started by acknowledging my own pain and accepting that forgiveness was a choice I needed to make for my own well-being. Gradually, I began to cultivate compassion for my friend and their own human flaws. I reminded myself that we all make mistakes, and forgiveness is an essential part of growth and personal development.

impact of forgiveness was profound

The impact of forgiveness was profound. It liberated me from the chains of anger and bitterness. I felt a weight lift off my shoulders, and a sense of peace washed over me. By forgiving, I opened up space for healing and growth, both for myself and for the friendship we once cherished. It allowed me to move forward with a renewed sense of empathy and compassion, not only towards others but also towards myself.

forgiveness is not a sign of weakness

From this experience, I learned that forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, but an act of strength. It takes courage to let go of resentment and choose compassion instead. I learned the importance of empathy and understanding, realizing that we all have our own struggles and moments of weakness. Forgiveness is not condoning hurtful actions, but rather an opportunity for personal growth and emotional freedom.

 true strength lies in the ability to forgive

In the end, forgiveness brought about a positive transformation in my life. It taught me the immense power of compassion, understanding, and letting go. It reminded me that true strength lies in the ability to forgive and that forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves

–: End of Compositions Forgiven Someone When it Was Hard to Do So :–

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