a broken family essay

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My Experience Growing Up from Broken Family

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Published: Jun 5, 2019

Words: 1295 | Pages: 3 | 7 min read

Works Cited

• Ahmadi, S., & Sadeghi, H. (2015). The relationship between family function and mental health in female students of high schools in Tehran. Iranian Journal of Psychiatric Nursing, 2(2), 1-6.
• Bernstein, D. P., & Fink, L. (1998). Childhood Trauma Questionnaire: A retrospective self-report manual. The Psychological Corporation.
• Brazelton, T. B. (1992). Touchpoints: Your child's emotional and behavioral development. Addison-Wesley Publishing Company.
• Chauhan, P., Gupta, R., & Parmar, R. (2018). A study on parent-child relationship and mental health of adolescents. International Journal of Indian Psychology, 6(3), 124-131.
• Gardner, T. W., & Ward, S. (2016). Life span developmental psychology: Introduction to research methods. Routledge.
• Goodman, R. (2001). Psychometric properties of the strengths and difficulties questionnaire. Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 40(11), 1337-1345.
• Hough, M. (2017). Marriage, divorce, remarriage. Open University Press.
• King, D. (2009). The impact of family breakdown on children's well-being: Evidence review. The Scottish Government.
• Lopez, F. G., Castro, N., & Rincón, P. (2013). Mexican-American men's and women's preferences for and attitudes toward counseling. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 60(2), 227-235.
• Santrock, J. W. (2017). Life-span development. McGraw-Hill Education.

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I Grew Up In A Broken Home, But It Shaped Me And I’m Blessed For It

• https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=330956

People always ask me if it was hard coming from a broken family. By broken they’re referring to the fact that my parents divorced earlier than I can remember, both went through multiple relationships, and my siblings didn’t always have the same last name as me. From as early as I can remember, my parents didn’t get along, I was passed back and forth on a strict schedule as if the custody papers were actually a child rental agreement. I didn’t understand why my parents didn’t get along but even more confusing, I didn’t understand how they ever got along with each other. Honestly, it’s a miracle I was conceived. My friends would always ask if I wished they were still married but I couldn’t picture them together so that was always a quick and easy, no.

The hardest part about coming from a broken home isn’t that your parents aren’t in love anymore. The hardest part is that it’s not about you. When I say not about you, I mean nothing, nada. Even things you would think should be about you like your schedule, your school lunch money, your clothes, your extracurricular activities – they’re not about you, they’re all about the other parent. I felt like my parents spent more time trying to get back at one another, or jab each other, than actually tend to my needs. Being an only child only amplified the situation. I think with a few more biological siblings, they might have been too distracted but as an only child, my mom definitely had way too much time on her hands.

Whenever someone reacts to my childhood with sympathy I am always a little perplexed. If anything I feel fortunate to have come from a ‘broken home’. While people like to scoff at the fact that my dad has been married two times since my mom, I feel like I am the one who should be laughing because I’m rolling five deep when it comes to parental support after you count my mom’s beau who has been in my life since I was five. I might have been born an only child but I have been blessed with six siblings as a result of divorce (thank God, let’s face it I probably would have gone crazy by myself). I have one half brother and if my dad and his mom had never split I would not be here. What used to be a battle between attending 2 Christmas’s became a battle between 4 Christmas’s since I still visit my ex-step-mom’s house on the holidays. I can’t help but smile and feel loved. It’s hard not to feel the support of that many people.

I’ve gone through things I’d rather not relive. There were times that weren’t great and times that were downright awful, but whose family doesn’t have those times? I’d say the true meaning of family is having those rough edges that can make things uncomfortable with them but yet still make them your first choice above all else. Without my mom’s boyfriend, who would I go to when she has one of her moods? Heck, who would she go to when I have one of mine? Having a broken home teaches you that blood isn’t always thicker than water (sometimes it’s just as thick), forgiveness is possible, and although we were both grown adults, it was possible for my dad to find someone who would love me and my brother like we were her own.

Avolyn Fisher

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Having a Broken Family: What It Means and How to Cope

Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News. She's also contributed to dozens of magazines.

Ivy Kwong, LMFT, is a psychotherapist specializing in relationships, love and intimacy, trauma and codependency, and AAPI mental health.  

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Even the most seemingly idyllic families face problems, and sometimes it can be hard to determine exactly how to go about navigating these issues. In the most extreme cases, certain problems can even lead to estrangement when relationships are severed for a prolonged period of time.

Often called broken families, there are many potential causes of estrangement between family members, and many of them come down to specific details surrounding the individuals and the situations involved. To find out more about what causes these relational rifts, as well as how to solve them, Verywell Mind tapped Frank Anderson, MD , a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, who specializes in the treatment of trauma.

"A broken family is one that includes unhealthy or severed relationships within the family unit," explains Anderson. "They are often associated with divorce but certainly can occur in an intact family where various members are in conflict with or estranged from each other." 

What Causes Estrangement Between Family Members?

While every relationship is unique, Anderson explained some common causes of estrangement among family members:

• Abuse: Anderson notes that this can include sexual, physical, or emotional abuse. While abuse is typically a result of some other factor (mental health problems, for example), it can cause relationship trauma and it's understandable if it complicates your ability to forgive.
• Mental health issues: If you or your family member faced mental health conditions or substance use issues that resulted in the estrangement, it's important to address those issues before moving forward with attempting to fix the relationship. If you were struggling with the issues, make sure you seek help from a therapist and then communicate to the family member that you have sought help and moved forward. If a family member was the one dealing with mental health issues, it's OK to ask them if they've addressed the issues by seeking out help.
• Financial abuse: Money can complicate any relationship, but this is especially true for loved ones. In a marriage, one person may be spending beyond the budget, or overly controlling with the money. Serious issues can arise when there is a death of a parent, and the children do not agree on how the assets are distributed among them. That said, many times these issues can be remedied by being open and honest about your concerns.
• Differing beliefs: This can come into play in a variety of ways—such as political or religious—and if it impacts your ability or your family member's ability to be kind and respectful, then it can become a major problem.
• Boundary crossings: This is perhaps especially true for immediate family members like parents or siblings. In these cases, it's especially important to make sure you've made the person aware of your boundaries so that they know exactly what it is that offends you. It's also important to listen to your family members if they are trying to explain their boundaries to you.
• Overly controlling parents or parental figures: While parents or parental figures often mean well , they can sometimes push too far when it comes to exerting their control. If this is carrying over into your personal life and impacting your relationships as an adult, it's important to make your parents aware of the ways they're affecting your life.
• Refusals to apologize: If you or a loved one are refusing to apologize , it's especially important to make sure you understand the other person's motives. If you feel that everyone's reasoning has been considered and there's still a refusal to apologize, this can cause a major rift.

How Do You Know When a Familial Relationship Is Worth Saving?

First off, it's important to be honest with yourself about the nature of the relationship you had with this family member before things went sour. Was it meaningful and positive or is the relationship's history lined with toxicity ? If you do find that it was meaningful and positive, it may be worth mending.

Broken families are repairable when the involved parties are willing to meet together, to listen to each other’s point of view, and to be able to freely discuss their differences with the intention of resolving the conflict and repairing the relationship.

How to Effectively Repair Relationships With Family Members

In order to effectively repair a relationship, Anderson emphasizes the importance of both parties' willingness to "forgo a defensive posture." By this, he means that each party should be willing to listen to the other, even if this means hearing things that are potentially hurtful. It also requires both parties to speak honestly and openly about their feelings.

"If at any time it becomes unsafe to anyone involved, each party should have the freedom to end the discussion, perhaps postpone it for another time or leave it without further follow-up if necessary," says Anderson.

If you want to speak with a family member, but you're worried that things will get too heated for either person, it may be helpful to enlist the help of a mediator.

"It is often helpful to have a third-party present to arbitrate the discussion," says Anderson. "The neutral party should be able to feel empowered to speak up when necessary and establish boundaries and guidelines for the ensuing discussion."

How to Accept That a Family Relationship Is Over

Sometimes, it is better to end the relationship completely. When a family member continues to be toxic, abusive, unapologetic, or unwilling to seek professional help, then you will not be able to successfully resolve conflict with this person and they will continue to hurt you.

It's important to note that you can forgive someone without reinstating a relationship with that person. In fact, it's better for your mental health if you forgive them because it can help you find peace.

"Forgiveness is something that is achieved internally," says Anderson. "It does not necessarily require the other person to be present in order for it to be meaningful, successful, and long-lasting."

Anderson emphasizes the importance of therapy when it comes to processing the end of any important relationship. While it may take some time, if you're open to mentally forgiving someone, you can move past it in a way that brings you internal peace.

"It is certainly possible, in the context of a supportive therapeutic setting, to work through, resolve, release, and forgive a family member who has hurt you, even if you don’t have contact with them," says Anderson.

A Word From Verywell

Relationships are complicated and even the most ideal family will have conflict at some point. Oftentimes, conflict can be resolved with effective communication, forgiveness, and sometimes the aid of professional help. Other times, the family unit is broken, conflict cannot be resolved, and you may find yourself estranged from certain family members.

It can be difficult to accept a relationship is broken, but maintaining healthy boundaries in your family relationships can prevent further pain.

Moving past hurtful things from the past is possible, and you will be better for it. Whether you need to forgive a family member for yourself or in order to mend a relationship, it's always best to make sure you do what's going to benefit your mental health.

By Brittany Loggins Brittany is a health and lifestyle writer and former staffer at TODAY on NBC and CBS News. She's also contributed to dozens of magazines.

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Cause and Effect of Broken Family: Exploring the Impact on Individuals and Society

Table of contents, causes of broken families, effects on individuals, consequences for society, addressing the impact, conclusion: fostering resilience and support.

• Amato, P. R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of Marriage and Family, 62(4), 1269-1287.
• McLanahan, S., & Sandefur, G. (1994). Growing up with a single parent: What hurts, what helps. Harvard University Press.
• Heath, A. F., & Killewald, A. (2013). The importance of nonresident fathers for children's well-being. Annual Review of Sociology, 39, 149-170.
• Braver, S. L., Wolchik, S. A., Sandler, I. N., Sheets, V., Fogas, B., & Bay, R. C. (1993). A longitudinal study of noncustodial parents: Parents without children. Journal of Family Psychology, 7(1), 9-23.
• Wallerstein, J. S., & Kelly, J. B. (1980). Surviving the breakup: How children and parents cope with divorce. Basic Books.

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How to Grow Beyond the Pain of a Broken Family

Unresolved conflict with family members will affect all your other relationships. but there is a way to overcome your past..

• Family , Anger , Healing , Relationships

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My parents, both drunk, were having a fight.

I was sleeping on the couch, or so they thought.

My father pushed my mother with enough force to break her pelvis. She ended up in the hospital.

I remember another time when they called my two brothers and my sister and I from our beds in the middle of the night. They were drunk again as they announced they were getting divorced.

We were asked to choose which parent we wanted to stay with.

These are just two among many crazy memories I have of my family. Some of the carnage of that time remains untold.

As a child, despair and sadness moved into my life like a fog. Thoughts of suicide sometimes lingered within that fog.

And the experiences of my closest relationships defined my life in ways I wasn’t sure I could overcome.

What about you? Do you struggle with memories of family relationships that feel like scars, maybe even open wounds?

Your primary relationships shape all the others

I am a survivor. Some might even describe me as a success as I graduated from high school and university with honors, despite my home life. But my survival carries with it the baggage of my childhood.

I’ve experienced deep-seated anger and bitterness toward my father. That anger infected other relationships.

I have no scientific proof but I believe that when you have significant, unresolved issues in your family, it affects all other relationships.

I call this “the theory of primary relationships”.

Forgiveness is easier said than done

I will never forget a conversation I had with a roommate at Colorado State University. He asked lots of questions, and the topic of my relationship with my father came up.

My friend said, “Mike, you need to love your dad.”

I knew that I didn’t, and wasn’t even sure I could. At best, my anger was mixed with pity.

I’m not sure my father ever understood how his actions affected me, but I know how mine affected him. So I chose to give him love as a gift.

A few months later, I looked my dad in the eyes and told him, “I love you.”

Then, on Father’s Day, I wrote him a letter, telling him the good things he’d done as a parent.

I never heard back from him, but my mother told me, “Your dad got your letter. He sat in his chair, read it and cried.”

Dealing with my relationship with my dad taught me lessons that improved other relationships.

How to move from bitter anger to love and forgiveness

Only by experiencing love and forgiveness myself, could I discover how to love and forgive the people who hurt me.

My sister, who shared my painful memories, helped me understand that God loved me even when I chose to reject Him. She told me that Jesus died to demonstrate God’s love for me, and then came back from the dead to offer me forgiveness.   

As I experienced God’s forgiveness day-by-day, I developed a greater capacity to love and forgive others. My relationship with my father became the ultimate test of this ability to forgive. If God chose to love and forgive me, how could I not do the same for my father?

Pain and hurt from our “primary relationships” can be carried for a lifetime. The result is multiplied misery. Or it can be laid down as we choose to take hold of the forgiveness God offers us.

How do you take hold of what God is offering you?

This will sound too simple. But basically you ask Him for it.

Christians refer to this as praying, but that just means talking with God .

God already knows what you’re thinking and feeling. So He’s less concerned with your words than the attitude of your heart.

If you feel ready to receive the forgiveness God wants you to experience, you could pray something like this:  

Lord Jesus, I want to know you. Thank you for dying on the cross so that I could know forgiveness for the ways I turned my back on you. I now invite you into my life and choose to hand over control to you. Make me the kind of person you want me to be.  

Were you able to pray those words?

If you have, you have taken a huge step of faith. God will meet you as you come to Him each day with your hopes, dreams, fears and the pain of your past.

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If you don’t feel ready to say that prayer yet, we can help you continue exploring what it means to know God and experience the life He wants for you.

Adapted from an article first published on familylifecanada.com

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What It’s Like To Be Part Of A Broken Family

Being part of a broken family is something that many people live with, though a lot of the time, they don’t show it.

That one kid from class, a work-mate or even that cashier from your local Woolies could come from a broken family and you’d never even realise.

You learn from a young age that people are often insensitive, as most people don’t care about what’s going on at your home and often don’t acknowledge it if they don’t see it. While you’re not seeking any pity, a little consideration goes a long way. However, you go on to learn that if it doesn’t leave a physical mark, people often don’t care.

When you come from a broken family, it feels like you’re isolated and cut-off from the rest of the world. Being so distant to a parent or a sibling often pressures you into feeling like you need to deal with it by yourself. Why? Because it’s embarrassing.

It’s embarrassing because it feels like you’re the only one with a family who can’t seem to get along. It’s embarrassing because while everyone gets picked up by their parents, you’re left to hitching a ride or public transport.

It hurts. It hurts because it’s sometimes difficult to understand why your family is like this. Why you have to suffer while everyone else is so seemingly happy with their families. Why you hurt so badly when other families get along so well. Why it’s not your fault.

It’s difficult to accept that it’s not your fault. A spiralling mind with endless thoughts and loneliness with no escape often leads to self-blame and guilt; the feeling that your birth was a burden and the cause of this whole mess. But you learn to accept that it’s not your fault, ever so gradually; that you shouldn’t take responsibility for other people’s actions.

Most holidays pretty much suck. This is when an abundance of friends’ family pictures flow through your feeds, capturing everything your family isn’t. Christmas is especially bad. You hear of your friends’ families travelling overseas just to be with their extended relatives. It’s astounding and you just long to be part of a family willing to go to such lengths to be with each other.

You dread parent teacher nights. It gives you anxiety because you don’t want your teachers to call home; you don’t want your teachers to know of your situation.

You hate every other event that requires a parent present, and it makes you crazy jealous when you see other parents who care enough to make such an effort with their children.

That being said, while it does suck to come from a broken family, you learn many things. You learn to endure hardships and persist in the face of adversity. You learn to face and deal with embarrassment. You gain a unique sense of compassion and empathy. You know to never mistreat someone as you never know what they have to face at home.

With these experiences, you form strong bonds between your friends and while you fear one day creating a broken family of your own, you know you’ll do whatever it takes to uphold a happy and supporting household.

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Essay on Effects Of Broken Family

Students are often asked to write an essay on Effects Of Broken Family in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Effects Of Broken Family

Introduction.

A broken family refers to a family where parents live apart due to divorce, separation, or death. This situation can have different effects on the family members, especially children.

Emotional Effects

Kids in a broken family often experience emotional stress. They may feel sad, angry, or confused about the situation. This can lead to problems like depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem.

Academic Performance

The emotional turmoil can affect a child’s focus in school. They might find it hard to concentrate on studies, leading to a drop in their academic performance.

Social Skills

Children from broken families might struggle with social skills. They may find it difficult to trust others and build healthy relationships. This can lead to loneliness and isolation.

Behavioral Issues

The stress and confusion can lead to behavioral issues. Children may become rebellious, aggressive, or withdrawn. They might also get involved in risky behaviors like substance abuse.

In conclusion, a broken family can have various negative effects on a child’s emotional health, academic performance, social skills, and behavior. It’s important to provide support and understanding to help them cope.

250 Words Essay on Effects Of Broken Family

A broken family refers to a family where the parents are separated or divorced. This situation can have a big impact on the children and other family members.

Emotional Impact

The first effect of a broken family is the emotional impact on the children. Children may feel a deep sense of loss and sadness. They may also feel confused and scared about what will happen to them. This can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.

Another effect of a broken family is on a child’s school performance. The stress and emotional turmoil can make it hard for a child to focus on their studies. This can result in lower grades and a lack of interest in school.

Children from broken families may also struggle with social skills. They may find it hard to trust others and form healthy relationships. This can lead to feelings of isolation and difficulty fitting in with their peers.

Behavioural Changes

Broken families can also lead to changes in a child’s behaviour. Some children may act out, become aggressive, or start to engage in risky behaviours. This is often a way for them to express their feelings of anger and frustration.

In conclusion, broken families can have a significant impact on a child’s emotional well-being, academic performance, social skills, and behaviour. It is important for parents, teachers, and other adults to provide support and understanding to help children cope with these challenges.

500 Words Essay on Effects Of Broken Family

A broken family is one where the parents are not living together. This can happen due to divorce, separation, or death. In such families, children often live with one parent or move between both. This situation can affect the children in several ways.

One of the main effects of a broken family is the emotional impact on children. They may feel sad, angry, or confused. They may blame themselves for their parents’ separation. This can lead to feelings of guilt and low self-esteem. They may also worry about the future and feel insecure.

A broken family can also affect a child’s performance in school. The stress and emotional turmoil can make it hard for them to focus on their studies. They may lose interest in school and their grades may drop. In some cases, they might even stop going to school.

Social Relationships

Children from broken families may have problems in their social relationships. They may find it hard to trust others and form close relationships. They may feel different from their peers who come from intact families. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

Behavioral issues are another effect of a broken family. Children may act out their feelings of anger and sadness. They may become rebellious or start behaving in harmful ways. They may also develop problems like lying, stealing, or bullying.

Long-Term Effects

The effects of a broken family can also be seen in the long term. Children may carry the emotional scars into their adult life. They may have problems in their own relationships and may fear commitment. They may also struggle with issues like depression or anxiety.

In conclusion, a broken family can have many effects on children. It can affect their emotions, academic performance, social relationships, behavior, and even their future. It’s important for parents and other adults to provide support and help children cope with these challenges. This can help minimize the negative effects and ensure that children have a chance to grow up healthy and happy.

Remember, not all children in broken families will face these issues. Some may cope well and even thrive. It depends on many factors like the child’s personality, the support they get, and how the parents handle the situation.

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My Unsung Hero

'i was broken and needed help': after her father died, a stranger stepped in.

Autumn Barnes

Laura Kwerel

Roxanne Olson and her dad Richard. Roxanne Olson hide caption

Roxanne Olson and her dad Richard.

This story is part of the My Unsung Hero series, from the Hidden Brain team. It features stories of people whose kindness left a lasting impression on someone else.

In 1999, when she was 23, Roxanne Olson left her home in Eureka, California to pursue a dream job, as a assistant producer on a cross-country reggae tour. But partway through the tour, she got some terrible news — her father had died of a sudden heart attack.

"I was young enough to not even understand that death was part of my world. And so it was a crazy shock," Olson remembered.

Olson was able to get a plane ticket home, but when she arrived at Chicago O'Hare International Airport, things went awry. Someone had run through security with a bag, forcing the shutdown of part of the airport.

She began to panic during a double biopsy. Then she felt a comforting touch

"It turned out it was over 6,000 people evacuated from the O'Hare airport that day," Olson said.

She remembers standing on the sidewalk, surrounded by thousands of strangers as helicopters flew overhead.

"It was the most crazy, surreal thing to be happening on this day that my dad [had died]," she said.

After hours of waiting, Olson and the other travelers were allowed back in. But the airport was in complete chaos.

"I didn't know where to go, who to call, what to do. And it kind of felt like everybody was busy just running around," Olson said.

As she stood there, feeling more and more overwhelmed, a woman approached her, pushing an empty wheelchair.

"And she walks up to me and she says, 'I'm here to help people like you,'" Olson said.

No one could figure out the cause of her cough. Then a nurse practitioner had an idea

Relieved, Olson got in the wheelchair. As the woman navigated them through the airport, Olson told her about her father's death, and her attempts to return back home to California.

"And she just seemed to understand my problem — she talked to whoever the right people were, and she got me on the very first flight out."

Olson made it home that day. She says she'll never forget the woman who made it possible.

"There was something about me that she just saw that I was broken and needed help. And she saved me."

My Unsung Hero is also a podcast — new episodes are released every Tuesday. To share the story of your unsung hero with the Hidden Brain team, record a voice memo on your phone and send it to [email protected].

• Chicago O'Hare International Airport

Broken Family Argumentative Essay Example

• Pages: 2 (324 words)
• Published: May 23, 2017
• Type: Essay

Statement of the problem The researchers want broken families to be prevented and to provide children/youth the chance to live a normal stress free life, explore and gain knowledge about the situations that should not be taken for granted and contribute to one of the problems of the country. Unfortunately, the population today in the country is increasing because of premarital sex, which leads youth to marry early and work at a very young age to earn money.

This kind of setting does not work out for most and just further increase the number of children affected by broken families. Those children will then seek love outside their home and repeat the same mistake and turns it into a cycle. Specific Questions 1. What are causes and effects of broken families? 2. How can broken families be prevented? 3. How are agencies or

government help children from broken families? Significance of the Study

This study is conducted to benefit the children/youth affected by broken families and everyone that would have a family in the future. This study will help everyone to understand the value of family a how a bad childhood could affect the growth of the children. For Social Workers in the future, this study will broaden your understanding about your clients; their emotions and how to handle different situations they are currently in and help them cope with their problems. Scopes and Limitations

This research focuses on family; the factors that caused the family to fall apart and the effects there is to the children involved. The researchers want to determine the chances of children/youth from broken families to have a better future in spite of

a terrible childhood as they grow. To know how much children from broken homes and children from complete family differ and how each of their families affects their health, life in school, how they interact with others and how they see their lives ahead of them.

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