modern love college essay contest

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Peoplehop: modern love college essay contest winner layla faraj.

By Elizabeth Walker on May 15, 2022 2 Comments

Daily Editor Elizabeth Walker interviews Layla Faraj about her experience writing and publishing her winning essay, “My Plea for a Second Love Language.”

When Layla Faraj (BC ‘25) wrote her essay on the intimate dynamics of her family’s WhatsApp group chat, submitting it to the New York Times 2022 Modern Love College Essay Contest was an act of courage for her. After exploring the idea during an assignment in her creative writing class, she expanded the paragraph into the essay that became “ My Plea for a Second Love Language ”—a piece that explores how her extended family turned to a WhatsApp group chat to share their lives with one another after being split apart by the Syrian war.

On Friday, May 6, the New York Times announced that Layla won the Modern Love College Essay Contest, and her work was published both on the newspaper’s website and in their Sunday, May 8 print issue. As someone who has never submitted her work before, it’s been a shock for Layla—but in the best way possible. 

When I spoke to Layla last Monday, it was such a genuine pleasure to get a window into how she sees the world. I came away from our interview with new insights about her writing process, her experience publishing her Modern Love essay, how she’s been documenting her first year at Barnard, and her writing influences.

Note: This conversation has been edited for clarity.

How did you learn about the Modern Love essay writing contest for college students, and what made you decide to submit a piece?

I had never read Modern Love before I got to college. My best friend, Kayla, is the one who sent me this one podcast episode they had, which was about a Syrian doctor and this really fun love story. I was like, oh my god, this is so specific, and yet so wonderful to listen to. I really wanted to get to know the column more, so I started reading it. And then my friend was the one who sent me the essay and was like, “they’re having a contest, you should totally submit something.” 

I’ve actually never submitted anything before to any kind of outlet. I don’t share my writing very often, so this has been super weird knowing that a bunch of people have read my piece. But yeah, I guess my main thought process was that I had something that I knew I wanted to write about anyway, which was WhatsApp, and I was like, this can encourage me to actually get that piece going, and then I’ll just submit it and whatever happens happens. I remember sitting and editing it with one of my friends, and I was like, I don’t really expect anything to happen out of this, but I just want to know that I had the courage to submit. That’s kind of how that happened.

That’s really cool. You said that this is your first time really submitting a piece anywhere. What has your experience been writing growing up, in high school, and in college? 

I never started to think about writing until I was in the sixth grade, or so I had this one teacher who was like, “Hey, you’re not so bad at this writing thing. Try writing.” I was like, okay, so I would do a lot of journaling. I never would follow a prompt and write—it was always like, I just thought of something, and then I would write. 

When I became a freshman in high school, my high school didn’t have a writing club, and so I was like, I kind of want to start a writing club, so I did. I would host open mic/assemblies for Black History Month, and Women’s History Month where people could read their pieces. For the first few years, even though I was head of the Writing Club, I didn’t perform anything. I would just MC, introduce people, and help other people with their pieces, but I’ve never actually performed anything myself. By then, COVID happened, and I never really did get to perform anything, which was crazy. 

I guess the biggest, most formative moment for me in terms of writing more seriously was this semester when I took a creative writing class. I was forced to write things outside of journaling, or like little poems or short stories that I thought to write but never considered editing or fully forming because they were not going anywhere, and I was like, “oh, it’s fine, this is for me.” But being forced to write, like 15-page pieces this semester, illustrated to me the stories that I have hidden in my brain… I think I’ve stumbled upon a lot of ideas that I really want to develop further after this class. The WhatsApp one was one of the things that came out of a prompt that we did for my creative writing class.

Do you remember what the prompt was?

My professor was telling us about the three ways in which to develop a plot for your piece, and it was 1) Things get better, 2) Things get worse, and 3) Things get weird, and I was like, “oh, things get weird.” I had the idea again that WhatsApp is an interesting thing that I would like to talk about, and I was really interested in the “things get weird” aspect. I wrote the paragraph about my family sending me pictures of their bloody noses and bruises in class, and then I was like, “oh, I actually kind of really like this. Let me take this time to use this paragraph in a bigger piece.”

What is your writing process like in general, and then what was it like for this piece?

I think a lot of the fully formed pieces that I’ve written start with me thinking about a moment in my life that I felt was particularly poignant or could be used to illustrate a broader message. For instance, the first piece that I wrote for my [creative writing] class this semester was about my process of learning Turkish. I have a lot of family that lives in Turkey, and I wanted to explore language learning as a means of shedding light on my American privilege. There’s a lot of different elements that went into the piece, but that was more broadly my experience of learning Turkish as opposed to my cousin’s or family’s experience learning Turkish, considering they live in Turkey. 

I had this one specific moment that I’ll never forget in Turkey, where I was in a cafe, and I ordered decaf tea, and they looked at me all funky, and they were like, we don’t have decaf tea. That’s not a thing here. Actually what they did is they were like, huh, we’ll ask, and then I heard him walk back, and he starts laughing in the back. Then he comes back and he’s like, yeah, no decaf tea, sorry. I was like, oh, okay, and that was just a moment [where] I felt super outed. 

I guess when I write, I like to think of moments that I feel like could convey a deeper message. Like in that instance, that outed feeling that I felt I was like, “oh my god, my family that lives in Turkey must have felt this like a million times when they came and they were refugees here.” I wanted to use that personal detail to write an essay about the refugee experience and language learning as a refugee. 

That’s what I’ll do even for the WhatsApp piece that I wrote. I think the first inciting moment was thinking about all the weird things that my family group chat sends, and then thinking “okay, why the heck are they even sending me pictures of their bloody nose? Like what’s the message to that?”, and then forming a piece around that one moment and then maybe even thinking about other moments in my life that when I put them side by side with this, it could get my message across. For Whatsapp Love, it was thinking about the Skype moment, for instance, where I was playing a board game with my cousin [over a Skype call].  

I like to do vignettes and think of moments that when strung together can create a fully formed necklace that looks really pretty and conveys a message.

I honestly really loved that about your piece. I’m personally a fan of the vignette form of writing—I kind of love the way that your piece strung those together. As I was reading it, I was like, “oh, how are all these connected?”, but by the end, it felt like all the strands just wove together, and that was really cool to see.

Thank you—that’s the goal. There’s so many separate moments that happen in that piece, like my mom and I looking through the photo albums, me and my mom in the grocery store getting salsa. There’s so many moments where it’s not necessarily fully fledged like, “this is a story, and this is the beginning and the middle and the end of the story.” But there are very, very tiny scenes to a story that you kind of have to piece together as a reader. I think that’s what I like to get done when I write.

This one line in the piece kind of stood out to me. If I can, I’ll just read it now: 

“I have fulfilled others’ needs, far distant, by thinking of them as I go about my days — in what I experience and feel and create. In documenting my life for them.” 

What has documenting your life looked like during your first year of college?

Oh, that’s a fun question. I’m a big fan of taking little videos of things, even if it’s something that could totally just be a picture, like my coffee cup for instance. I really like to take videos because looking back at them, I get the sense of, “what did it sound like when I took that specific video?” You get more of an atmosphere with videos, so I really like to do that—take videos and put them all together into a little collage. That’s a big thing that I’ve done. 

Another thing that I really like to do is, I’m a big fan of voice memos. I’ll be walking on College Walk, and if I have an idea, I’ll voice memo it. Even if I see something, and it makes me think of someone, I’ll immediately whip out my phone and send them a voice message and be like, “I’m walking right now, but I saw this tree in full bloom, and it just made me think of you. I think you’d really like it.” 

Now that I’m piecing them together, I really like auditory experiences, considering the videos, and also the voice memos. I just think that it’s really personal to hear someone’s voice and hear what’s going on around you. I think it offers a really personal connection. 

Is there like, like one video or one image that you think of when you think of your freshman year?

It’s hard because I feel like I’ve lived so many lives in my freshman year. I look back at the year and I’m like, “oh, my god, like, so many things have happened. It feels like three years in one.” For that reason, it feels a little like, hard to pinpoint, like a specific picture. 

Oh, my gosh, of course. I was thinking of [the question], and I was coming to the same conclusion. I feel like I’ve been so many different people throughout the year. Do you feel the same?

Yeah, exactly. I mean, obviously, “high school me” is going to be completely different from “college me,” but I think that “college me” semester to semester, even month to month is super different too. I don’t know if that’s like a specifically freshman experience because it’s my first time living away from home, and I’m meeting so many people and you’re settling into so many different aspects of your life. 

I definitely feel like if “me now” met “me three months ago”, we’d be using different slang and talking differently and having different views about things, which is, I guess what college is all about.

So true. This is my last “longer” question, but what emotions did writing this piece bring up for you?

I think it was a lot of like, if I’m gonna be honest, jealousy. As I was writing it, and comparing it to the pandemic, I think I just felt super jealous because I was like, “this is a reality that I’ve lived for, like 11 years, and will continue to live for I don’t know how many [years] ”. There’s like, just this open-endedness to it of like, “when will this end?”, and there’s no real answer. When I compared it to the pandemic—obviously, the pandemic was super hard for everyone and not to invalidate that experience, because it’s incredibly difficult to be away from people you love—but I think I was a little jealous. I was talking about quarantine and quarantine has kind of ended, as opposed to this situation of diaspora and it’s been so long and it hasn’t ended. I think that was a big emotion for me. 

Another thing that I felt was definitely thinking about all the moments that have happened in my group chat, and thinking about the people who are no longer in the group chat because they passed away or for whatever other circumstances. I guess I was thinking back on the things that they used to send or say. That was obviously super emotional and made me just kind of miss—in the same way that we’re talking about how you become a different person, month to month—the group chat, in and of itself, becomes different month to month. I guess thinking back to all of its iterations, I missed certain phases of the group chat as opposed to what it is now—not to say that it doesn’t have amazing things to it now, but it’s just different.

I think that makes sense—like any web of social connections, it’s just natural that it’s going to change. Sometimes you like the way it changes, sometimes you miss past iterations like you were saying, but I think that totally makes sense. 

I have a couple of quick questions that I’m wondering. So first, what was your reaction when you found out that you won the essay contest?

I was actually having a really bad day that day, and I was on the way to the Brooks 3 bathrooms to have a silly little cry, and I’m holding my phone and I get an email. I’m like, heck, let me open this, it’s from the New York Times. Then I open it and immediately just like, fall to the floor and I’m just shocked. I was completely, completely shocked. 

So the way that it kind of worked—and I don’t know if this was just my experience, or if it’s everyone who gets published via Modern Love—but they emailed me two weeks before I actually knew that I won, and they were like, “Hi, we’re interested in publishing your piece, but we’re not 100% sure yet. Can you call me?” I was at an open mic at the time, and I remember being like “they’re interested, oh, my god.” I didn’t think anything was gonna come of this. Like, I was just like, super, super in shock. Then I talked to them, and they talked me through a lot of [stuff] like, “if we want to publish it, would you consider editing this part?”, or like, “Could you maybe see, like, adding a paragraph about this in here?”, which was super interesting. The editing process was not what I expected it to be, but in the best way possible. 

I don’t know, it was just a lot of shock because when I submitted it, I didn’t really think anything was going to come of it at all, I was submitting to submit. So yeah, just like shock and disbelief. I think even now when people message me, and they’re like, “oh, my god, like, I read your piece, and it’s so cool”. I’m like, wow, and I feel like there’s some weird disconnect. It’s like, “the me that’s published is not like me,” and it’s like, this imposter syndrome kind of going crazy…

It’s my first time having something published, so like connecting the dots that the thing that I’ve been writing for like a month—it was like a document in Google Docs—is now in print. It’s kind of hard to grasp. Like hearing people say that they’ve read it is also an out-of-body experience because no one’s really read my stuff before.

I don’t know if you told your family, like the WhatsApp group chat, but if so, what were their reactions?

I was so excited about this because I didn’t tell any of my extended family members until the day that it was published online. I wanted to do this very meta thing where I would send the link about the WhatsApp family group chat article to the group chat and have it be this very full-circle moment, which is what I did. I think if I were to take the average of all the reactions, it would be like, “you made us laugh, but you also made us cry, and you kind of brought us back to a lot of different phases of our lives.” 

Even at the beginning, I mentioned it briefly, but a lot of my family members haven’t been back to Syria for like 11 years or so. So they were like, “I was reading this, and emotions of, I used to live there like I used to go there very often came up for me,” and I think there was a lot of like, “Is this really how you see us? Like you really think we’re this funny, like, like we do such stupid things. Do we really do this?”

I think it was a lot of making fun of themselves like, “No way, one of us actually sent a picture of our spilled juice. Did that really happen?” like disbelief almost at seeing themselves in print. They were just in shock, because it’s almost like you’re writing people into characters, and they’re seeing themselves as a character in a story. You know, we do a lot of things that we don’t realize that we do or say a lot of things that we don’t realize that we say. I think having that for them was very funny, but also surprising. Yeah, like a nice reception. They were very, like, “so proud of you.”

Yeah. That’s really cool . I mean, sending the link in the WhatsApp group chat. That’s like perfect…

Do you have a favorite line in this essay or a favorite part?

I think my favorite part is, the two paragraphs that talk about once more of my family members started moving abroad and the way I talk about how the group chat was transformed into a venue of sorts. I really liked that part, because I think up until then, it was kind of light-hearted. Like I was talking about, like, “they’re sending pictures of a brown circle of dirt on my brother’s foot or like, a perfectly mashed up avocado or spilled juice.” But then this [section] is, I think when it kind of gets to be a little more real. 

I like these two paragraphs a lot because I think they illustrate the bulk of what I want to say—even though there’s so many difficult times, the majority of what we talk about [in the group chat] is silly and goofy. I think that’s also kind of made clear by the fact that there’s only two paragraphs that are really focusing on the sad parts. The rest of them are kind of focusing on the silly or like the more hopeful parts. But yeah, I don’t know. I guess I like these two paragraphs because I think they—and I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn or anything—but I think they’re poignant, and I don’t [even] really like that word, but I think that’s the only way that I could think of describing.

No, I think that’s completely fair. I think they definitely do stand apart in a good way.

In terms of a line that I really like, it’s what I would consider my thesis of the piece:

“We knew that staying connected was less about itching to find something to say to others than it was about carrying them with you as you lived your life, searching for them in your spilled juice and spider veins.”

I think that’s my favorite line because if I had to summarize my piece to anyone, that’s the line that I would choose to summarize it with.

Yeah, I definitely felt like that line was like my takeaway that gave me something really new to think about and that I know I’ll carry with me. 

Who are your writing influences if you have any?

For a really long time, it was Elif Batuman, who wrote The Idiot . I really, really enjoyed [that book], and I think it was really formative in my experience as someone who likes to write because it’s so boring, but in the best way possible. You’re reading this coming-of-age story, and it kind of is almost like nothing is happening. I really like stories where nothing is happening because I think when nothing’s happening, there’s so much room to talk about the little things that everyone does every day. Boring stories just really interest me, because I think they kind of show the most. They’re not trying to be anything—they’re just talking about someone’s day or they’re like character studies in a way, and I just like to really get into someone’s mind and see the way that they’re thinking about things. That’s what I loved most about The Idiot was that the main character is very introspective, and so you’re going throughout her first year in college, and you’re just like, getting to see what she thinks. 

I remember this one line, which I think about all the time, in which the main character asked, “What are people supposed to be thinking about? I have no idea what people are supposed to be thinking about.” That line to me is what I find most interesting when I’m reading or when I’m writing—what are people thinking about? I think the less intense the story is, the more room you have to just hear a person’s thoughts about the silliest things, or the most mundane things, which is what I enjoy. So, I really like Elif Batuman. 

There’s this [other] book called The Magical Language of Others [by E.J. Koh] that I really enjoyed too. It’s a memoir, but it’s structured through these letters that her mom has written to her, and then she translates the letters, and the memoir is like a story of her growing up. I really like that as well, because I think it talks about mother-daughter relationships in a way that I really, really enjoy. That’s something that I like to talk about a lot in my writing. It’s actually really funny— for this WhatsApp Love, I had all of them be references to like my aunt and like my cousin and my cousin’s daughter’s and this and that. Then the editor was like, “can we throw in like an uncle in there?” Ok, ok, I’ll change one of them to an uncle for you. 

I really like to talk about female relationships, and I think that that book does it really well. The mom is not a good mom in the story, and yet, there’s so much love, and so much care and tenderness that I think reading it made me really emotional. I’m also super interested in translation and the process of like, how you can convey the same meaning in different languages, and if that’s even possible? I like the translation element that was added into the book, that was really interesting. 

Do you have a book that you think should be required reading?

What a fun question. There’s an essay that I think would just make so much sense for the fact that we’re at Columbia, which is, Here is New York by E.B. White. I think that I get really shocked when I meet people, and they’re like, I haven’t read that essay, because I think it was so amazing. It also really made me excited about living in New York and just made me think of New York differently. So that would be like—it’s not a book—but I would recommend that it be something that every Columbia student reads or anyone who lives in / studies in the city reads.

Are you working on anything right now?

Because of my class, I think I’ve developed a lot of different ideas for essays that I want to write over the summer. The thing that I’ve officially started writing is an essay that talks about using humor as a way to illustrate belonging. And I want to title it “Inside Jokes”. 

For me growing up—obviously, Arabic is my second language—as a kid, my dad would always tell me, “Oh, I’ll know that you’ve really mastered Arabic when you’re able to tell me jokes in Arabic.” So I want to write an essay exploring humor and language learning. I’m a big fan of language learning/language as a means of communication and language as a means of illustrating something broader, but yeah, humor as a way to feel like you belong is like, what I want to talk about.

My last question is, what are you looking forward to doing when school is over?

This sounds so lame, but I’m actually really excited to just get to read and write personal things—that’s my biggest thing. I think over the course of the year, I’ve been recommended so many good books, and I’ve had so many ideas that I would quickly jot down, but have had no time or space to think about. I guess I’m just ready to have time to read the things I want to read and write the things I want to write. 

I guess a more funny, silly, goofy response is I’m really excited to enjoy the good weather and just be out with people that I like. I’m not a summer baby, but I’m a big summer person and I feel like I should have been a summer baby. [Editor’s Note: Layla is an Aries.] And so yeah, I’m just excited to be out and get to, like watch people. 

I’m a big people watcher, and I don’t do a lot of it, surprisingly, in the city, because I get sucked into the [Columbia] bubble quite often. So I’m excited to have free time where I can devote it to just observing and watching people. It’s like that quote that goes “you can’t sit down to write until you’ve stood up to live.” I want to go out and see people, and I like to turn strangers into characters and write about them. So I’m excited for that too.

header by Elizabeth Walker

headshot via Layla Faraj

• creative writing
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The Main Takeaways From the NYT ‘Modern Love’ College Essay Winners

“You can blame it all on Percocet.” This is the opening line of the winner of The New York Times “Modern Love” college contest. Out of 2,000 entries from college students from all across the country, there was one winner and four finalists; all of the essays were published in The New York Times .

The winning essay, “The Physics of Forbidden Love”, by Malcolm Conner of Trinity College, is a great resource for familiarizing yourself with what success looks like in an essay. The four finalists’ essays are great reads as well, and we encourage you to read, re-read, and learn from them before beginning the process of penning your own essay for college, the college admissions essay! One gem you can definitely glean from these essays is how to get the reader’s attention with your opening line. (See the first line of this blog. I want to know more; don’t you?!)

There are many takeaways from these essays. Here are just a few of them:

Tell the story only you can tell.

Your story should be unique and offer insight into your life and background. Admissions Officers are looking for students who authentically stand out from the crowd, and these teens did just that, stand out. For example:

The winning essay is about a transgender man who falls in love with an Indian heritage woman in his physics class. One of the finalists, “My (So-Called) Instagram Life”, is a story about a woman who tries unsuccessfully to live up to the image she’s created for herself online. Another essay, “White Shirt, Black Name Tag, Big Secret”, is about a Mormon missionary and his journey to reveal a secret, only to find that the other missionary carries the same secret, too.

Details, details (and more details, please).

These winning essays and your winning essay should be filled with specific details to help the reader see, hear, and feel what’s happening in the story. Here are a few examples from the college essay winner and finalists:

“Except for the pain in his eyes, he looked good: tan and wiry with wild blue eyes and an all-in smile. It was weird to see him not wearing his white shirt, tie and black name tag, but it was just as weird for me not to be wearing mine.”

“There was a time when I swore in front of my friends and said grace in front of my grandmother. When I wore lipstick after seeing “Clueless,” and sneakers after seeing “Remember the Titans.” When I flipped my hair every way, ate ice cream out of anything, and wore coats of all types and colors.”

“With my Midwest accent, ratty Packers sweater and frozen-tilapia complexion, I was the antithesis of the son-in-law they hoped for.”

We at CEA love helping you tell your best stories. The writing skills you hone when you write an admissions essay are useful far beyond the admissions process and go way beyond one essay. We’ve had students tell us that their grades improved in AP Literature or they had an easier time writing essays for classes. We’ve had students improve their grammar, structure, and syntax so that there are no distractions from telling their greatest stories. Also, these winning essays are a reminder that there are opportunities to submit and share your stories. Who knows, maybe you’ll be submitting to The New York Times in a few years as well.

In the meantime, take a deep breath, grab your favorite tea, and enjoy the essays written by current college students.

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Written by CEA HQ

Category: College Admissions , Essay Writing , New York Times , Standout Students

Tags: Essays , inspiration , New York Times , winning essays , writing

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Deadline Approaches for Modern Love College Essay Contest

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Submissions are currently open for the New York Times Modern Love College Essay Contest . The prize is awarded to a current U.S. college student for an essay that “illustrates the current state of love and relationships.” The winner will receive $1,000 and publication in the New York Times Sunday Styles section and on nytimes.com . Four runners-up will also receive publication in the Times Sunday Styles section and on nytimes.com.

The New York Times Modern Love column has sponsored its college essay contest two previous times—in 2008 and 2011—and received thousands of submissions each year from students representing hundreds of colleges and universities throughout the country. Caitlin Dewey won the 2011 prize for her essay “Even in Real Life, There Were Screens Between us,” and Marguerite Fields won the inaugural prize in 2008 for her essay “Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define.” The essays of previous finalists can also be read on the New York Times website.

For more information about the Modern Love column, read Jones’s article “How We Write About Love.”

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MODERN LOVE: THE COLLEGE ESSAY CONTEST; It's a Complicated Subject

Published: may 4, 2008.

Just before Valentine's Day this year, Sunday Styles did something very unromantic: we asked college students nationwide to tell the plain truth about what love is like for them. We weren't sure what to expect, but we thought we wouldn't receive many essays about red roses and white tablecloths.

When the contest deadline passed seven weeks later, more than 1,200 essays had arrived, from 365 schools in 46 states and Puerto Rico. In perhaps typical collegiate fashion, nearly 700 poured in on the last day, 400 over the final hour. We counted only three red roses among them, and one was bestowed in a laundry room.

As for the more complicated stuff, and the uniquely 21st century struggles -- those we got by the hundreds, covering everything from how students view communications technology (as a lifeline, a crutch or a scourge) to their ambivalence about the no-strings-attached sexual opportunism of the hookup culture.

Five of these essays will appear as the Modern Love column, starting today with Marguerite Fields's winning entry, ''Want to Be My Boyfriend? Please Define,'' an eloquent, clear-eyed account of her generation's often noncommittal dating scene. On the Sundays between Mother's Day (May 11) and Father's Day (June 15), we will publish the four runner-up essays.

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Jordana Narin Wins Modern Love College Essay Contest

Jordana Narin’s essay about what she sees as her generation’s reluctance to label relationships, won the 2015 Modern Love College Essay Contest. It was chosen from nearly 1,800 personal stories on the current state of love submitted by students from 489 colleges and universities nationwide. Ms. Narin, a sophomore at Columbia University, will receive $1000.

In addition to the publishing the winning essay ( online now and in print on May 3), The Times will publish the essays of the four finalists each week in May and the honorable mention essays in coming months.

Daniel Jones, editor of the Modern Love column, was impressed this year with “the range of voices and material, with subjects ranging from asexuality to Tinder matches and from hooking up to purity pledges.”

The New York Times 2015 Modern Love College Essay Contest Results

Jordana Narin, Columbia University in the City of New York, New York, NY, Class of 2017

Arla Knudsen, Fashion Institute of Technology, New York, NY, Class of 2016

Adam Lundquist, North Central College, Naperville, IL, Class of 2016

Jochebed Smith, Santa Monica College – SMC (Official), Los Angeles, CA, Class of 2017 (after transfer to university)

Davis Webster, Colorado State University, Fort Collins, CO, Class of 2016

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Bindu Bansinath, Columbia University, New York, NY, Class of 2018

Emma Court, Cornell University, Ithaca, NY, Class of 2015

Sophie Dillon, Yale University, New Haven, CT, Class of 2017

Claire Jia, Amherst College, Amherst, MA, Class of 2015

Kim Kaletsky, New York University, New York, NY, Class of 2015

Additional details on the Modern Love essay contest, held previously in 2008 and 2011, are available at: www.nytimes.com/modernlovecontest .

(Media contact: Danielle Rhoades Ha, @daniellerha )

A New Role for Jeffrey Gettleman

Celebrate juneteenth with the new york times’s black history, continued event.

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Four Students Win Seventh Annual KBHF Essay Contest

Four high school students from across Kansas have won $500 each in the seventh annual Kansas Business Hall of Fame essay contest. The contest was open to students in Grades 9 through 12 in Kansas with entries from homeschooled students also accepted.

Original essays were based on research of a Kansas Business Hall of Fame honoree inducted into one of two categories: Historical or Contemporary. Inductees can be found at www.ksbhf.org . Students could read about the inductees and choose one that inspired them. They were encouraged to use their own personal thoughts and views that best pertained to the theme and themselves. Sixty-six entries from 14 Kansas high schools were judged by a panel of business professionals and business faculty.

Below are the four winning authors and the KBHF inductee they wrote about:

• Addilyn Bruns, freshman, homeschooled, Topeka, inductee Arthur Capper
• Aubryn Garriott, senior, Olpe High School, inductee Bill Kurtis
• Lucy Krebsbach, freshman, homeschooled, Meriden, inductee Charles Walker
• Benjamin Soyka, senior, Leavenworth High School, inductee Warren Augustine Bechtel

The prize money totaling $2,000 was graciously donated by the Kansas Chamber of Commerce. Winning authors were mailed or presented their certificates.

Dr. James Leiker, KBHF Board Chair, said, “The Kansas Business Hall of Fame is proud to honor these students and their instructors, who, through these essays, help us better understand the rich tradition of entrepreneurship and innovation that our state has fostered.”

The winning students will be invited to the KBHF Induction Ceremony on Thursday, June 13, in Cremer Hall on the campus of Emporia State University, where they will receive their prizes.

The KBHF Board would like to thank the following judges: Susan Elliott, Beth Ginter, Paul Grimes, Sherriene Jones-Sontag, Connie Lindell, Jeff Muldoon, John Rich, Butch Sim, Ed Bashaw and Jim Shepherd.

About the Kansas Business Hall of Fame: Housed in Emporia State University’s School of Business Cremer Hall, the Kansas Business Hall of Fame recognizes business leaders who have added to the prestige and growth of Kansas. By identifying outstanding examples of business leadership, the Hall of Fame shares these stories of success and innovation through representative displays. The Hall of Fame creates an awareness and appreciation of Kansas' rich heritage of business leadership. The Board is made up of individuals from all over the state of Kansas with representatives from universities, community colleges, and private and public businesses. For more information, please go to www.ksbhf.org .

Check out all of our feeds. Find the one for you. We have it all.

The New York Times

Style | modern love college essay contest, modern love college essay contest.

FEB. 9, 2017

We’re inviting college students nationwide to open their hearts and laptops and write an essay that tells the truth about what love is like for them today.

Modern Love

College essay contest, wanted: your voice. here..

A book of collected columns — “Modern Love: 50 True and Extraordinary Tales of Desire, Deceit and Devotion” — is available in paperback and e-book at online booksellers.

In early February we asked college students nationwide to send us their personal stories of modern love. Five weeks later, nearly 2000 students from some 500 colleges and universities nationwide had answered our call. We are pleased to feature the writing of the winner and four finalists in the Modern Love column on the last Sunday of April and throughout May.

Leading off is our winning entry by Malcolm Conner, a junior at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. Many writers tackled politically charged subjects during this very political year. And Malcolm's essay did as well, exploring the complications and fears of a love between a transgender man and an immigrant Indian woman in Texas. Subjects tackled by other top finishers cover a broad range, from being gay in the Mormon church to playing the online dating game and from an Instagram-fueled identity to dealing with demisexuality.

Congratulations to Mr. Conner and our other winners, and thank you to all who participated. — Daniel Jones

Malcolm Conner

Trinity University

San Antonio, TX, Class of 2018

Emily DeMaioNewton

Elon University

Elon, NC, Class of 2018

Clara Dollar

New York University

New York, NY, Class of 2017

Ellis Jeter

Columbia University

Lauren Petersen

University of Chicago

Chicago, IL, Class of 2017

Honorable Mention

Nick Rowan Bassman

Oberlin College

Oberlin, OH, Class of 2017

Sadie McEniry

Johnson County Community College

Overland Park, KS, Class of 2021

Caroline Tan

Penn State University

University Park, PA, Class of 2018

Kai Williams

Wesleyan University

Middletown, CT, Class of 2020

Audrey Zheng

Dartmouth College

Hanover, NH, Class of 2018

How to Enter

E-mail your essay (1500-1700 words, attached as a Word document AND pasted into the body of the e-mail), along with your name, e-mail address, phone number, college and year of graduation to [email protected]

Submission Deadline: March 19, 2017 at 11:59 p.m. EST

Previous Finalists’ Essays The 10 Best Modern Love Columns Ever » View all Modern Love columns »

2015 | Winner

No labels, no drama, right.

2015 | Runner up

After a first time, many second thoughts.

Learning to Embrace Sexuality’s Gray Areas

Swearing Off the Modern Man

Swiping Right on Tinder, but Staying Put

2011 | Winner

Even in real life there were screens between us.

2011 | Runner up

Eating the forbidden ham sandwich.

What Is Carved in Stone

A Love for the Ages but Which One?

Stuck at the border between the sexes.

2008 | Winner

Want to be my boyfriend please define.

2008 | Runner up

Instant message instant girlfriend.

My Dropout Boyfriend Kept Dropping In

Let’s Not Get to Know Each Other Better

May i have this dance, the new york times modern love college essay contest, official rules, no purchase necessary. a purchase or payment of any kind will not increase your chances of winning., contest description.

The “Sponsor” is The New York Times Company, 620 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018.

The New York Times Modern Love College Essay Contest (“the Contest”) is a skillbased competition in which participants will compete to be selected as author of the top essay, as selected by Sponsor. The author of the winning entry will be awarded $1,000.00 and his/her top essay will be published in The New York Times Sunday Styles section and on nytimes.com.

As a condition of Contest entry, each Contest Entrant (as defined below) acknowledges and agrees that: (a) Sponsor has access to and/or may create or have created literary, visual and/or other materials, ideas and concepts which may be similar or identical to the Contest Entry Materials in theme and/or other respects; (b) the Contest Entrant will not be entitled to any compensation or other consideration because of the use by Sponsor of any such similar or identical material, ideas and/or concepts; and (c) Sponsor’s use of material containing elements similar to or identical with those contained in the Contest Entry Materials or any essay shall not obligate Sponsor to negotiate with nor entitle Contest Entrant to any compensation or other claim.

Potential winner will be tallied by or about Monday, April 18, 2017. Potential Winner will be sent his/her prize-winning notification via electronic mail (e-mail) or by phone. A potential Winner has seven (7) days from receipt of notification to claim his/her prize by responding via electronic mail (e-mail) or an alternate Winner will be selected. Noncompliance with these official rules or, if a selected potential Winner cannot be contacted, provides incorrect e-mail or mailing address, is ineligible, fails to claim a prize or if the prize notification or prize is returned as undeliverable, an alternate Winner will be selected. Acceptance of a prize constitutes permission for Sponsor to use Winner's essay, name and likeness for advertising and promotional purposes without compensation, unless otherwise prohibited by law.

ELIGIBILITY

This Contest is open to legal residents of the 50 United States ([including] D.C.) who are current undergraduate students at least 18 years of age and older, residing in the United States and enrolled in an American college or university. Employees and agents of Sponsor, its affiliates, subsidiaries, advertising and promotion agencies, any other prize sponsor, and any entity involved in the development, production, implementation, administration or fulfillment of the Contest and their immediate family members and/or close personal friends and/or those living in the same household of such persons, whether related or not, are not eligible to enter the Contest.

Employees, officers and directors of Sponsor (including Sponsor’s parent company, The New York Times Company (“NYTCO”)), their respective affiliates, subsidiaries, distributors, advertising, promotion, fulfillment and marketing agencies, their immediate families, (defined as spouse, child, sibling, parent, or grandparent) and those living in their same households are NOT eligible to participate in the Promotion. Each Winner will be required to execute a declaration of eligibility and liability release attesting that the Winner has complied with all the rules and that the Winner releases Sponsor(s) and all prize-supplier companies from all liability for damages or personal injury in connection with the Winner's use of the prize, and a publicity release consenting that the Sponsor and anyone they may authorize may, without compensation, use Winner's name, essay, photograph or other likeness, biographical information and statements concerning the Contest or the Sponsor for purposes of advertising and promotion.

HOW TO SUBMIT A CONTEST ENTRY

Any individual wishing to compete in the Contest must submit an essay of no more than 1700 words illustrating the current state of love and relationships, to [email protected] (participants submitting essays are referred to as “Contest Entrants”). Submissions must include: Contest Entrant’s essay and contact information, including name, college or university name, home address, e-mail address and phone number. Each Contest Entrant may submit one essay during the Contest (an “Essay”). Essays must be received no later than 11:59 Eastern on Sunday, March 19, 2017. Any elements appearing in submitted Essays must be entirely original, created by Contest Entrant, and must not have been altered in any way from the original. Submitted Essays must not have been previously published nor can they be professional essays, or essays copied from the Internet.

Use of any elements or other materials that are not original, or in the public domain may result in disqualification of Essay in Sponsor’s sole discretion. By entering, Contest Entrants accept and agree to be bound by these Official Rules, including the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding in all respects. Limit one (1) entry per Contest Entrant and per email address. Any individual who attempts to enter, or in the sole discretion of Sponsor is suspected of entering more than once, by any means, including but not limited to submitting multiple Essays, will be disqualified from the Contest. In addition Sponsor reserves the right to reject any submission without explanation.

CONDITIONS OF CONTEST ENTRY

As conditions of entry into the Contest, each Contest Entrant:

• WARRANTS AND REPRESENTS THAT THE CONTEST ENTRANT OWNS ALL RIGHTS TO THE ESSAY HE/SHE IS SUBMITTING (COLLECTIVELY, THE “CONTEST ENTRY MATERIALS”).
• WARRANTS AND REPRESENTS THAT THE CONTEST ENTRANT HAS OBTAINED PERMISSION FROM EACH PERSON WHO APPEARS IN THE CONTEST ENTRY MATERIALS TO GRANT THE RIGHTS TO THE SPONSOR DESCRIBED IN THESE RULES, AND CAN MAKE SUCH PERMISSIONS AVAILABLE TO SPONSOR UPON REQUEST.
• WARRANTS AND REPRESENTS THAT HIS/HER CONTEST ENTRY MATERIALS ARE ORIGINAL AND HAVE BEEN LEGALLY OBTAINED AND CREATED, AND DO NOT INFRINGE THE INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS OR ANY OTHER LEGAL OR MORAL RIGHTS OF ANY THIRD PARTY.
• Irrevocably grants to Sponsor and its affiliates, legal representatives, assigns, agents and licensees, the worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive, sub licensable, unconditional, perpetual and transferable right and license to copyright (only as applicable), reproduce, encode, store, modify, copy, transmit, publish, post, broadcast, display, edit for length and content, publicly perform, adapt, exhibit and/or otherwise use or reuse (without limitation as to when or to the number of times used), the Contest Entrant’s name, address, image, likeness, statements, biographical material and Contest Entry Materials, including, but not limited to, the Essays contained in any of the above items, as well as any additional photographic images and other materials relating to the Contest Entrant and arising out of his/her participation in this Contest (with or without using the Contest Entrant’s name) (collectively, the “Additional Materials”) (in each case, as submitted or as edited/modified in any way, whether by the Sponsor, its Licensees, or assigns, in the Sponsor’s sole discretion) in any media throughout the world for any purpose, without limitation, and without additional review, compensation, or approval from the Contest Entrant or any other party.
• Irrevocably grants to Sponsor and its affiliates, legal representatives, assigns, agents and licensees, the worldwide, royalty-free, non-exclusive, sub licensable, unconditional, perpetual and transferable right and license to use the Contest Entry Materials for advertising, promotional or commercial purposes, including without limitation, the right to publicly display, reproduce and distribute the Contest Entry Materials in any media format or medium and through any media channels. Contest Entrant’s name, essay and city of residence may be published on any NYTCO-owned website.
• Forever waives any rights of privacy, intellectual property rights, and any other legal or moral rights that may preclude Sponsor’s use of the Contest Entrant’s Contest Entry Materials or Additional Materials, or require the Contest Entrant’s permission for Sponsor to use them for promotional purposes, and agrees to never sue or assert any claim against the Sponsor’s use of those Materials.
• Acknowledges and agrees that: (a) Sponsor has access to and/or may create or have created literary, visual and/or materials, ideas and concepts which may be similar or identical to the Contest Entry Materials in theme and/or other respects; (b) the Contest Entrant will not be entitled to any compensation or other consideration because of the use by Sponsor of any such similar or identical material, ideas and/or concepts; and (c) Sponsor’s use of material containing elements similar to or identical with those contained in the Contest Entry Materials or any Essay shall not obligate Sponsor to negotiate with nor entitle Entrant to any compensation or other claim.
• Agrees to indemnify and hold the Sponsor and its affiliates, officers, directors, agents, co-branders or other partners, and any of their employees (collectively, the “Promotion Indemnitees”), harmless from any and all claims, damages, expenses, costs (including reasonable attorneys’ fees) and liabilities (including settlements), brought or asserted by any third party against any of the Promotion Indemnitees arising out of or in connection with: (a) any Contest Entry Materials or Additional Materials (including, but not limited to, any and all claims of third parties, whether or not groundless, based on the submission of such other material); (b) any breach by Contest Entrant of any warranty, agreement or representation contained in the Official Rules or terms of service or in any documentation submitted by Contest Entrant; (c) the Contest Entrant’s conduct during and in connection with this Contest, including but not limited to trademark, copyright, or other intellectual property rights, right of publicity, right of privacy or defamation; or (d) the acceptance of any prize. All entries become the property of Sponsor and will not be acknowledged or returned.

SPONSOR’S RIGHT TO DISQUALIFY

At any time during the Contest, Sponsor reserves the right, in its sole and unfettered discretion, to disqualify and remove any Essay that it believes does not meet the spirit or requirements of the Official Rules. The decisions of the Sponsor on this and all matter relating to the Contest are final and binding.

WINNER SELECTION PROCESS

Entries will be rated from March 20, 2017 to April 18, 2017. Daniel Jones, Editor, Modern Love, will serve as judge (“Judge”). Judge will select the Winner based on talent, writing ability, style, creativity and originality of entry. Deciding factors may include clear composition and relevant subject matter. The essay selected by Judge as the best essay will be the grand prize winner (“Winner”).

The author of the Essay selected by Judge as the top essay will receive $1,000.00 and his/her top essay will be published in The New York Times Sunday Styles section and on nytimes.com. Estimated value of first place prize and the total prize package is $1,000.00.

Four runners-up will also be selected. Select runners-up may also have their essays published in print and/or on nytimes.com.

If Winner is unable to fulfill prize during time period specified, Winner forfeits the prize package. Winner must be 18 years of age or older. Prizes are non-transferable and shall be deemed to have no cash value. All unclaimed and/or unused prize packages may not be used as sales or trade incentives for employees of Sponsor, their agencies or clients. No prize substitution is permitted, except by Sponsor, which reserves the right to substitute any prize of equal or comparable value including cash in the event of prize unavailability. Prizes are non-transferable.

Prize consists of only the item specifically listed above. No substitution or transfer of prize is permitted, except that Sponsor reserves the right to substitute a prize of equal or greater value in the event that an offered prize is unavailable. All federal, state and local taxes on prizes are the sole responsibility of the Winner. Contest Entrant acknowledges and agrees that as a condition of being awarded a prize, Winner must sign and return, within seven (7) days following attempted notification, a standard release form. Noncompliance within this time period may result in disqualification and an alternate Winner may be selected.

Sponsor and its officers, directors, affiliates, related entities, partners, partnerships, principals, representatives, agents, licensees, sponsors, successors and assigns: (a) make no warranty, guaranty or representation of any kind concerning any prize; (b) disclaim any implied warranty; and (c) are not liable for injury, loss, or damage of any kind resulting from the acceptance or use of any prize, travel related thereto or from participation in this Contest.

If any activity relating to any prize is canceled or postponed for any reason, the balance of that prize will be awarded in full satisfaction of prize award.

All taxes, fees and surcharges on prizes won are the sole responsibility of the Winner.

GENERAL RULES

The Contest is governed by and subject to the laws of the United States. All federal, state and local laws and regulations apply. Void where prohibited by law. All Winners will receive an IRS 1099 for the value of their prizes. By participating in the Contest and/or accepting any prize, Contest Entrants grant permission to Sponsor and its advertising and promotion agencies to use their name(s), likeness(es), essays and any other material submitted in connection with the Contest for purposes of advertising, publicity and promotion purposes, without further compensation to Contest Entrant, unless prohibited by law. By entering, the Contest Entrants agree to be bound by the Official Rules and the decisions of the Sponsor, which are final and binding on all matters relating to the Contest. Sponsor is not responsible for any typographical or other errors in the printing of the offer, administration of the Contest or the announcement of the prizes, or for lost, late, misdirected, damaged, incomplete or illegal entries.

Sponsor reserves the right at its sole discretion to disqualify the Contest Entry of any individual found to be: (a) tampering or attempting to tamper with the entry process or the operation of the Contest or any Sponsor website; (b) violating the Official Rules; (c) violating the terms of service, conditions of use and/or general rules or guidelines of any Sponsor property or service; or (d) acting in an unsportsmanlike or disruptive manner, or with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten or harass any other person. Further, Sponsor reserves the right to disqualify any entry which, in Sponsor’s sole opinion, is deemed to be offensive, libelous, slanderous, inflammatory, or otherwise inappropriate in any way for this Contest. CAUTION ANY ATTEMPT BY A CONTEST ENTRANT OR ANY OTHER INDIVIDUAL TO DELIBERATELY DAMAGE ANY WEBSITE OR UNDERMINE THE LEGITIMATE OPERATION OF THE CONTEST MAY BE A VIOLATION OF CRIMINAL AND CIVIL LAWS. SHOULD SUCH AN ATTEMPT BE MADE, SPONSOR RESERVES THE RIGHT TO SEEK DAMAGES FROM ANY SUCH PERSON TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW.

LIMITATIONS OF LIABILITY

Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any computer, online, telephone transmission or technical malfunctions that may occur during participation in the Contest (including, without limitation, the voting phases of the Contest), or theft, destruction or unauthorized access to, or alteration of, Contest Entry Materials. Sponsor is not responsible for any incorrect or inaccurate information, whether caused by website users, Contest Entrants, or any of the equipment or programming associated with or utilized in the Contest, or for any technical or human error which may occur in the processing of submissions or votes in the Contest. Sponsor assumes no responsibility for any error, omission, interruption, deletion, defect, delay in operation of transmission, failures or technical malfunction of any telephone network or lines, computer online systems, servers, providers, computer equipment, software, email, players or browsers, whether on account of technical problems, traffic congestion on the Internet or at any website, or on account of any combination of the foregoing (including but not limited to any such problems which may result in the inability to access the Contest website or to submit Contest Entry Materials in connection with the Contest). Sponsor is not responsible for any injury or damage to participants or to any computer related to or resulting from participating or downloading materials in this Contest. If, for any reason, the Contest is not capable of running as planned, including infection by computer virus, bugs, tampering, unauthorized intervention, fraud, technical failures, or any other causes beyond the control of Sponsor which corrupt or affect the administration, security, fairness, integrity or proper conduct of this Contest, Sponsor reserves the right at its sole discretion to cancel, terminate, modify or suspend the Contest and select Winners from among that portion of the Contest that has not been compromised, if any. Sponsor reserves the right to cancel this Contest at any time without obligation or prior notice.

DISPUTES/GOVERNING LAW

Except where prohibited, as a condition of participating in this Contest, Contest Entrants agree that any and all disputes which cannot be resolved between the parties, claims and causes of action arising out of or connected with this Contest, any prize awarded, or the determination of Winners shall be resolved individually, without resort to any form of class action. Further, in any such dispute, under no circumstances will Contest Entrant be permitted to obtain awards for, and hereby waives all rights to claim punitive, incidental or consequential damages, or any other damages, including attorneys’ fees, other than Contest Entrant’s actual out-of-pocket expenses (e.g. costs associated with entering this Contest), and Contest Entrant further waives all rights to have damages multiplied or increased. In the event of a dispute as to the identity of a Winner based on email address, the winning entry will be declared made by the Authorized Account Holder of the email address submitted at time of entry. For purposes of these Official Rules, “Authorized Account Holder” is defined as the natural person who is assigned to an email address by an Internet access provider, online service provider or other organization (e.g. business, educational, institution, etc.) that is responsible for assigning email addresses for the domain associated with the submitted email address.

All issues and questions regarding rights and obligations of Contest Entrants in connection with this Contest shall be governed by, and construed in accordance with, the laws of the State of New York, U.S.A., without giving effect to the conflict of laws and rules thereof and any matters or proceedings which are not subject to arbitration as set forth in these Official Rules and/or for entering any judgment on an arbitration award, shall take place in the State of New York.

The parties waive rights to trial by jury in any action or proceeding instituted in connection with these Official Rules and/or this Contest. Any controversy or claim arising out of or relating to these Official Rules and/or this Contest shall be settled by binding arbitration in accordance with the commercial arbitration rules of the American Arbitration Association. Any such controversy or claim shall be arbitrated on an individual basis, and shall not be consolidated in any arbitration with any claim or controversy of any other party. The arbitration shall be conducted in the State of New York and judgment on the arbitration award may be entered into any court having jurisdiction thereof.

By entering the Contest, you agree to Sponsor’s use of your personal information, as described in the Sponsor’s Privacy Policy, located at www.nytimes.com.

WINNER’S LIST/RULES REQUESTS

For a copy of the Official Rules or the Winners’ names, send a separate, stamped, selfaddressed envelope to:

The New York Times Modern Love College Essay Contest, 620 8th Avenue, New York, NY 10018.

Requests received after June 1, 2017 may not be honored.

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