how to maintain peace and harmony in family essay

Essay on Peace And Harmony

Students are often asked to write an essay on Peace And Harmony in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Peace And Harmony

Understanding peace and harmony.

Peace and harmony mean when people live without fighting, and everything is calm. Imagine a quiet lake or a group of friends sharing toys. It’s like that, but for everyone in the world.

Why They Matter

Living in peace makes us happy. When we get along with others, we feel good, and our heart is light. Harmony brings people together, making our world a better place.

Creating Peace

To make peace, we must be kind and listen to others. We should not shout or be mean. Sharing, helping, and understanding each other are the keys to a peaceful life.

Peace at Home and School

Peace starts with us. At home, we can be nice to our family. At school, we can be friends with everyone. No bullying, no teasing, just smiles and teamwork.

Working Together

When we work together, we can solve big problems. By talking and not fighting, we can fix things that are wrong and make sure everyone is happy and safe.

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250 Words Essay on Peace And Harmony

Peace and harmony mean living without fighting, anger, or fear. Imagine a world where everyone gets along, like friends in a playground. Peace is when people are calm and happy inside, and harmony is when they share that happiness with others.

Why Peace and Harmony Matter

Peace and harmony are important because they make life better for everyone. Think of your home. When everyone is kind and understands each other, it feels safe and warm. That’s what peace and harmony do; they create a place where we all feel good.

Building Peace and Harmony

To build peace, we must learn to be patient and not get angry quickly. We should listen to others and try to understand how they feel. Harmony comes when we help each other and work as a team. It’s like playing a sport where everyone passes the ball and cheers for one another.

Peace and Harmony in the World

In the big world, peace and harmony mean countries and people not fighting. Leaders and citizens must talk and solve problems without using force. This way, we can all live safely and enjoy life.

Everyone’s Role

Everyone has a part in making peace and harmony. You can start by being nice to your family and friends. Share, don’t fight over toys, and say sorry when you make a mistake. When we all do these small things, we make our world a peaceful and happy place.

500 Words Essay on Peace And Harmony

Peace and harmony are like two best friends who always go together. Imagine a world where everyone is kind to each other, where no one fights, and where all people, animals, and nature live happily. That world is full of peace and harmony.

Peace means no war, no fighting, and no being mean. It’s like a quiet, calm day with no storms. Harmony is when everyone gets along well, like different notes in a song that sound beautiful together.

Why Peace and Harmony are Important

Think about a time when you played with your friends without any arguments. It felt good, right? That’s because when we live in peace and get along, we feel safe and happy. We do better in school, have fun with our friends, and our families are happier too.

Without peace, we would always be scared and worried. And without harmony, we would always be alone because we wouldn’t have friends. That’s why having both peace and harmony is very important for all of us.

Peace and Harmony at Home

Our homes are the first places where we learn about peace and harmony. When family members love and care for each other, and when there are no shouts or fights, that’s peace. And when everyone in the family listens and respects each other’s ideas, that’s harmony.

For example, when you share your toys with your brother or sister and play without fighting, your home is filled with peace and harmony.

Peace and Harmony in School

School is another place where we can see peace and harmony. When students are friendly and teachers are kind, the school feels like a happy place. No bullying and no cheating on tests are signs of peace. When students from different places and backgrounds become friends and learn together, that’s harmony.

In a peaceful and harmonious school, everyone feels like they belong and can do their best.

The whole world needs peace and harmony too. Countries should not fight with each other. Instead, they should talk and solve problems without hurting anyone. When countries work together, share things, and help each other, our world becomes a better place.

Just like in a family or school, when the world has peace and harmony, there is less sadness and more joy.

How We Can Help

Even as students, we can do a lot to make peace and harmony around us. We can be kind to others, not fight, and help those who need it. We can also learn about other people and respect them, even if they are different from us.

By doing small things every day, like saying “thank you” and “sorry,” we build peace and harmony. And when we grow up, we can keep doing these things to make a bigger difference in the world.

In conclusion, peace and harmony are very precious. They make our lives happy, our homes loving, and our world beautiful. We all should work to keep peace and harmony everywhere, starting with ourselves. Remember, a peaceful and harmonious world begins with you and me.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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Essay on Peace

500 words essay peace.

Peace is the path we take for bringing growth and prosperity to society. If we do not have peace and harmony, achieving political strength, economic stability and cultural growth will be impossible. Moreover, before we transmit the notion of peace to others, it is vital for us to possess peace within. It is not a certain individual’s responsibility to maintain peace but everyone’s duty. Thus, an essay on peace will throw some light on the same topic.

Importance of Peace

History has been proof of the thousands of war which have taken place in all periods at different levels between nations. Thus, we learned that peace played an important role in ending these wars or even preventing some of them.

In fact, if you take a look at all religious scriptures and ceremonies, you will realize that all of them teach peace. They mostly advocate eliminating war and maintaining harmony. In other words, all of them hold out a sacred commitment to peace.

It is after the thousands of destructive wars that humans realized the importance of peace. Earth needs peace in order to survive. This applies to every angle including wars, pollution , natural disasters and more.

When peace and harmony are maintained, things will continue to run smoothly without any delay. Moreover, it can be a saviour for many who do not wish to engage in any disrupting activities or more.

In other words, while war destroys and disrupts, peace builds and strengthens as well as restores. Moreover, peace is personal which helps us achieve security and tranquillity and avoid anxiety and chaos to make our lives better.

How to Maintain Peace

There are many ways in which we can maintain peace at different levels. To begin with humankind, it is essential to maintain equality, security and justice to maintain the political order of any nation.

Further, we must promote the advancement of technology and science which will ultimately benefit all of humankind and maintain the welfare of people. In addition, introducing a global economic system will help eliminate divergence, mistrust and regional imbalance.

It is also essential to encourage ethics that promote ecological prosperity and incorporate solutions to resolve the environmental crisis. This will in turn share success and fulfil the responsibility of individuals to end historical prejudices.

Similarly, we must also adopt a mental and spiritual ideology that embodies a helpful attitude to spread harmony. We must also recognize diversity and integration for expressing emotion to enhance our friendship with everyone from different cultures.

Finally, it must be everyone’s noble mission to promote peace by expressing its contribution to the long-lasting well-being factor of everyone’s lives. Thus, we must all try our level best to maintain peace and harmony.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Conclusion of the Essay on Peace

To sum it up, peace is essential to control the evils which damage our society. It is obvious that we will keep facing crises on many levels but we can manage them better with the help of peace. Moreover, peace is vital for humankind to survive and strive for a better future.

FAQ of Essay on Peace

Question 1: What is the importance of peace?

Answer 1: Peace is the way that helps us prevent inequity and violence. It is no less than a golden ticket to enter a new and bright future for mankind. Moreover, everyone plays an essential role in this so that everybody can get a more equal and peaceful world.

Question 2: What exactly is peace?

Answer 2: Peace is a concept of societal friendship and harmony in which there is no hostility and violence. In social terms, we use it commonly to refer to a lack of conflict, such as war. Thus, it is freedom from fear of violence between individuals or groups.

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Family Peace: What It Is and Its Importance for Family Development

John monyjok maluth.

• April 12, 2021

Knowing About Family Peace Will Help You Value Peace in This Societal Level

12 th April 2021

Family Peace is an article meant to help you learn what it means to have peace in a family and why is it important for social improvement. It also gives you tips and tricks on how to get and maintain peace at a family level. In Africa, a family is one important unit of society. With that said, let’s learn more below.

What is Family Peace?

Family Peace means peace within a family. It’s also known as an intra-family peace. A family in South Sudan may be made up of a husband, a wife, the children, and the man’s relatives, depending on which part of the country we are talking about.

The children in a family may not always be biological to any of the parents. They can be brothers, sisters, or sons. They may be from other relatives or neighbors. This means a family is a very important unit in a community.

A family may have one man as the father/husband, and several wives and children belonging to the same man. This was how life was long before human ego and selfishness crept in. Marriage was primarily meant to produce children that will live on after the parents. This is how nature works. Grass produce grass and birds produce birds.

But things have indeed fallen apart after the coming of both the Arabs and the Westerners to Africa. This is when life took a different turn. Individualism (capitalism) became the order of the day, and collectivism (socialism) became a forgotten history. A family is now reduced to a man, his wife, and a handful of his very own biological chicks .

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These days, men don’t accept children they didn’t father like their own. Creative movies about the reality of human jealousy fill the films and TV screens. Anyone of any age could fill their minds with rubbish, causing real issues in their present and future lives.

A woman no longer accepts responsibility for her husband’s children from another woman. Hatred!

But Family Peace is a good thing that all families may desire, but is it easy to find and maintain peace and harmony in a family in our day today? Someone said too much of everything is not good. This means too much freedom led to this situation in our modern families.

How to get peace in a family?

As we have seen how tricky it may be to live in peace in a family, let’s see how to find peace before we maintain it.

To begin with, I want to say that there are peaceful people by nature and by nurture, too. I still strongly believe that nature precedes nurture. We can see this in our everyday life. Peaceful people are found in every family, clan, tribe, and nation. As peaceful people, we are the source of peace in our families.

I remember how I became an issue between mom and dad back in the 1980s when I was just but a kid. I used to detect when my father is annoyed and would love to know why. I always jumped in between them to stop them from starting a fight, but I have to be very careful since they might crash into me.

That was my role in those days to bring peace into our family. This is the reason why I call myself, shalom these days. It’s not what I wish to become in the future. It’s who I am already by nature. I hate quarreling and fighting.

Peaceful people stay away from harmful things, people, and objects. Even as young as they may be, they are known as cowards because they are always careful not to hurt either themselves or someone else. They are not that heartless. Through these kinds of people, peace can be found in each and every family.

Look, in every family in most cases, if the husband is aggressive, the wife is not. If the wife is aggressive in a family, the husband is not. And if there are just two children in a family, one is likely to be peaceful, and the other violent. This is how nature works. God knows why He created aggressive and peaceful people and put them in a family.

How to maintain peace in a family?

Before we close the conversation, I want us to see how we can maintain the peace that we already have in a family.

As we have already seen above that there are always peaceful as well as violent people in a family, peace in a family can also be maintained when these peaceful people exist and have a voice in the family.

But aggressive people always try their best to overlook, silence, and overshadow those who are peaceful. In this case, how can quiet and peaceful people maintain peace?

They can do it in many different ways. They can think, speak, and act in ways that will maintain peace in a family. Their thoughts, words, and deeds are very important.

These people of peace may prevent a quarrel either between themselves with others, or among other people. The truth is that we can’t completely prevent conflict at any level. We can try to prevent it but it will always be a reality in any human family.

However, we have to know the fact that each family has both peaceful as well as violent people, and this is just fine. This is a reality in this world. Even insects have their own reasons to fight and even kill each other.

God has His own ways of doing things. Sometimes, I just wonder if all people in the family could look, think, speak, and act in the exact same way as I do, what a mess would it be?

What do you think will happen if everyone in your family thinks and does things just like you do? I think there will be boredom and war instead of peace and harmony in your family.

My final words

Finally, we have come to the end of this article. What have you learned from it? I think we have learned that family peace is peace within a family and its internal members. We have seen that in South Sudan, a family is not just what we may today refer to as an immediate family. A family is an important unit in a community.

We have also seen that peaceful people in each family have a role to play.

My final words of advice to you are that we don’t know it all, and we won’t know it all. This means whatever I share with you is basically factual as far as my knowledge can go. We don’t have to be judgemental of other people unless we are, naturally.

This means if you and I are peace lovers, let’s do our best to live in peace with everyone in our family. We can’t make others become like us, no matter how we may try.

I hope this Family Peace article has been helpful to you, personally. If you would like to share your thoughts, please use the comment section below. I would love to hear from you. God bless and keep you safe during and after the global pandemic.

FURTHER READINGS

• Learn more from the Family Peace Initiative website here .
• Peace Starts in the Family —Global Peace

Table of contents

What do you mean by harmony, understanding harmony in the family, understanding values in human-human relationships, understanding harmony in society-human relations, interconnectedness and mutual fulfillment, coexistence in nature, holistic perception of harmony at all levels of existence, universal harmonious order in society, visualizing a universal harmonious order in society, undivided society (akhand samaj), universal order (sarvabhaum vyawastha), from family to world family.

• Harmony and Role of Values in Family, Society, and Human Relations
• The family is the primary building block of human society.
• It consists of parents, children, and sometimes extended family members, all living together and sharing their lives.
• Harmony in the family refers to the peaceful coexistence and positive interactions among its members.
• This harmony is essential for a happy and healthy family life. It's like the foundation of a house, providing stability and support for the structure.
• Values are the beliefs, principles, and ethics that guide our actions and interactions with others. In family relationships, values play a crucial role.
• For example, the value of love fosters care and affection among family members.
• Respect as a value ensures that each member's opinions and boundaries are acknowledged.
• When all family members share common values and respect one another, it creates a harmonious environment.
• Society is made up of families, communities, and individuals who coexist within a shared space.
• Harmony in society-human relations refers to the peaceful coexistence and cooperation among different groups and individuals.
• It's like the smooth functioning of a complex machine, where every part plays a vital role without friction.
• Imagine a society as a puzzle where each piece represents a different community or group of people. When these pieces fit together seamlessly, the picture is complete, and society thrives.
• This interconnectedness shows that the well-being of one group can affect the well-being of others.
• For example, if one community has access to quality education and healthcare, it benefits the entire society as a whole.
• Nature itself demonstrates the concept of coexistence and harmony.
• In a forest, various species of plants and animals live together, each playing a unique role.
• The plants provide oxygen, shelter, and food for animals, while animals help in pollination and seed dispersal. This balance ensures the ecosystem's health and survival.
• A holistic perception of harmony means looking at harmony in a broader sense, not just within families or communities but in society as a whole.
• This concept envisions a society where every individual and community coexists peacefully and works together for the greater good.
• It's like a symphony where every instrument plays a distinct part, contributing to the overall harmony of the composition.
• In this society, diversity is celebrated, and every person's unique qualities are valued.
• An undivided society, or "Akhand Samaj," is a society where there are no divisions or conflicts based on race, religion, gender, or other factors.
• In an Akhand Samaj, people recognize the common humanity that unites them and respect each other's differences.
• The concept of a "Sarvabhaum Vyawastha" means a universal order where values like justice, equality, and empathy guide social systems and policies.
• For instance, a society with a Sarvabhaum Vyawastha ensures that every person has equal access to opportunities and resources, regardless of background.

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• Introduction to Human Values and Need of Education
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Creating peace in your family

Shalom Bayis is a Hebrew folk term that means literally, peace in the home.

In order to get a deeper look at peace in the home, we also need to understand what causes distress in the home. Peace in the home requires a healthy relationship between the couple. It also requires love, respect, and cooperation between the children themselves and their relationship with their parents.

It might be helpful to understand that all couples and families go through challenges and frustrations. Each member of a family has strengths and weaknesses. Life is full of challenges, and these challenges place pressure on all members of a family in their own way.

Peace in every family takes effort

Our family context is the circumstance we find ourselves in. As adults, we have a greater capacity to change and modify our circumstances for the better. If we are not happy, if we are experiencing conflict with our spouse, our children, or even those in the community outside the home we have the ability to take action and create change.

This is less true for children. If a child is struggling with a mental health issue such as anxiety, depression, or difficulty controlling his or her behavior, help will have to come from outside; he or she will need the intervention of an adult.

Family Therapy for children with emotional or behavioral issues

When a child is struggling with an emotional or behavioral disorder, the entire family is affected. Emotional disorders such as anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or even depression can occur in children as well as adults and adolescents. Behavioral disorders are treated by working with the entire family to understand the dynamics of communication and other aspects that affect a child’s behavior. This often benefits the entire family, not just the child.

Often times a family will be at a total loss as to how to help their struggling child. Contrary to what some parents believe, an emotional disorder is not usually just a “phase” that a child will grow out of. Sometimes children need help to learn how to manage what they are experiencing.

For example, a child who regularly experiences intense anxiety or sadness will not know why or how to change in order to be or feel like everyone else. Often the parents and siblings of this child will not understand or know how to help the child. Anxious children often experience greater difficulty attending school; they worry about their family and themselves. They understand that they worry more than other children their age.

In a situation such as this, the child and the entire family will benefit from therapy. Children actively think about and interpret their environment. Therapy can help the child learn coping skills and understand how their thinking affects their emotions. The rest of the family will likely benefit from the same educational approach.

Peace in the home equals happy, healthy children and adults

In order to develop and thrive, both adults and children need to feel safe and secure. To understand this in terms of child development, we know from neuroscience research that if a child is faced with emotional distress, fear, and conflict on an ongoing basis, all his or her energy and resources are used to manage the stress.

When this is happening, the child misses out on important opportunities for cognitive and social learning. They are more concerned with a conflict going on at home than with their school assignments or relationships with their peers.

In order for all members of the family to grow and develop (including the parents) a feeling of security is required. On an unconscious level, we need our family to survive, and our survival needs must be attended to first before we can focus our attention on less important things such as school, social, and career development. We need peace.

Peace outside the home and online

Our lives are no longer contained within the home and places of school and employment. We are now exposed to the vast world of online media. Even organized groups with the best of intentions can become unsafe places where our views or opinions are attacked. We can become victimized by people who wish to harm us without ever coming face to face with them.

How do we protect ourselves from conflict while engaging with the world in a meaningful way? We need to support each other both within and outside of the family unit. Striving for understanding even when our points of views differ can build a stronger healthier community. In this way, we start close to home and then expand outward, all the while keeping in mind our own needs and boundaries, especially when interacting with the online world.

If your family is suffering from a lack of shalom bayis, click here to get help for your family, your relationship, and your teenagers in Brooklyn.

Outside of Brooklyn? Click here  to get help for your family from one of our licensed therapists.

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Environment

Jane goodall explains the importance of living in harmony, dr. jane stresses why we must break down barriers and make wise choices..

Posted May 1, 2020

I'm thrilled to post this inspirational interview with one of the world's most iconic women, Dr. Jane Goodall , DBE, Founder of the Jane Goodall Institute , and UN Messenger of Peace. I've worked closely with Dr. Goodall–or Dr. Jane as she is universally known–on a number of different projects, and her commitment to widespread humane education and spreading the message that every single person can make a difference is legendary. Here, she focuses on her global Roots & Shoots (R&S) program that in the United States alone has more than 2,100 groups and 63,540 youths taking action in all 50 states.

Marc Bekoff: Why, where, and when did you found Roots & Shoots?

Jane Goodall: When I started traveling around the world to give lectures in the late 1980s, I met many students who had lost hope—they were depressed , angry, or (mostly) apathetic. Why? Because, they told me, we were compromising their future and there was nothing they could do about it.

Are we compromising their future? We have been stealing it for generations. But I did not agree there was nothing they could do about it.

Things came to a head in 1991 when 12 Tanzanian high school students from eight schools came to my Tanzanian home in Dar es Salaam. They were worried about things like the destruction of coral reefs by illegal dynamiting, lack of government will to clamp down on poaching in the parks and reserves, the plight of street children, and the ill-treatment of animals in markets. They wanted me to fix everything. I suggested that they might be able to do something themselves.

So they went back to their schools, gathered together their friends who were also concerned, we had another meeting (about 20 of us)—and Roots & Shoots was born. We decided that each group would choose three projects so that, between them, they would be improving things for people, for animals, and for the environment —because everything is interconnected. They would have meetings to discuss local problems, decide what was most important, and make plans and then take action.

Most importantly they would all share an important truth—that "every single one of us makes an impact on the planet every single day. And we have a choice as to what sort of impact we will make." R&S groups are now in more than 65 countries, with members from pre-school through university (even some adult members)–thousands of groups and the collective impact of their projects is huge. Also, there are the "alumni," those adults who went through the program at school or university. And so many of them retain the values they learned when they were members. “Of course I care about the environment,” say many people in China, “I was in R&S in school.”

There is a theme running through R&S of learning to live in peace and harmony with each other–breaking down barriers between nations, religions, cultures, old and young, rich and poor, and between us and the natural world.

MB: How do you explain the global success of Roots & Shoots?

JG: I think R&S is growing fast because it is youth-driven. We do not dictate what they do, so long as, between them, they choose three projects–one to help people, one to help animals and one to help the environment–because everything is interconnected. There are always some young people who want to work in each of these three areas. Of course, children in pre-schools and kindergarten need guidance, and in some parts of the world, children are not used to making plans themselves so teachers make suggestions. Teacher training workshops are important.

MB: What are some of their projects?

JG: Some groups tackle long term projects such as removing invasive species from an area of prairie in Texas or a wetland in Taiwan. There's also lots of tree planting—last year our R&S groups around the globe planted (and cared for) around 4 ½ million trees. They also grow organic vegetables in school gardens, raise money for earthquake or hurricane or war victims in other countries, and volunteer in animal shelters or sanctuaries. Some groups work on reducing the use of plastic bags and bottles, and stress the importance of recycling and reusing. University students may start groups in primary or high schools. Many older students work on spreading awareness about wildlife trafficking, the destruction of forests by palm oil plantations, the need to end wildlife meat markets, and factory farming of domestic animals. Many of our groups in Asia work on educating people about the cruelty involved in shark finning and poaching for ivory and rhino horn, helping to reduce the demand.

MB: Why are youngsters important for generating respect for other animals, other people, and other nature?

JG: It is important to reach children as early as possible and help them understand that animals feel pain and can be frightened and sad or happy—just like us. Children are very good at influencing their parents—and sometimes the parents may be influential people, in government or CEOs of big corporations. Or teachers. Children can be very persuasive.

One of the first places I introduced R&S in the U. S. was a very disadvantaged school–with fantastic teachers–in the Bronx. I shall never forget that first group of 12- to 14-year-olds, a mixture of African Americans and Hispanics, performing a little play where one was the head of a large company, and another was a R&S student informing him about the environmental harm caused by his product. In the end, they succeeded in banning polystyrene from their boxed school lunches and got to perform in front of the mayor. Think what a difference that made to them, their pride. Also it is the children who will grow up to inherit a planet so damaged by previous generations. It is desperately important that they believe in their power to make change. If they lose hope, that will be the end.

MB: Roots & Shoots has expanded from working with youngsters to involving humans of all ages and living in different situations including people in refugee camps and inmates. Why is it important to have everyone working for the goals of Roots & Shorts, regardless of where and how they live?

JG: The goal of R&S is to make the world a better place for people, animals, and the environment. Those should be goals for everyone. We have started groups in four prisons, but only one is still running–the others ended when the people keeping them going left, or when Wardens changed. The only one still active is the one that you, Marc, started and it has been super successful. In China, one group is formed of retired people and they told me how it had given them a new lease of life–they feel useful again.

MB: Are you hopeful that things will get better and how do you maintain this steadfast belief in the future of life on our magnificent planet?

JG: I am hopeful firstly because of the young people. I visit R&S gatherings as often as possible. Once they know the problems, we listen to them and empower them to take action. Their energy, passion and belief in their ability to make change is inspirational. Secondly, there is this amazing intellect we have been gifted with–and science is beginning to use it in ways that will enable us to live more sustainable lives, such as using clean green energy, new environmentally friendly city planning, ways of cleaning contaminated water, and so on. And we as individuals are using our brains to try and live more sustainably and questioning the consequences of our small daily choices–what we buy, did its production harm the environment or lead to cruelty to animals. Is it cheap because of child labour or sweat shops. If millions of people make ethical choices it will make a difference. Thirdly, the resilience of nature is amazing–places we have destroyed can, when given time and perhaps some help, once again become green and beautiful, and animals on the very brink of extinction can be given another chance. There are many examples. Finally, there is the indomitable human spirit, the people who tackle what seems impossible and, because of dogged perseverance and faith in the importance of their mission, very often inspire others to join them and ultimately succeed.

MB: Is there anything else you'd like to tell readers?

JG: That people living in poverty cannot be expected to make ethical decisions as to how they live–they just have to do what it takes to keep them alive in the short term–like cutting down the last trees in desperate efforts to grow food even though this will result in future environmental harm. If they are in an urban area they will buy the cheapest food. They cannot afford to ask if its production harmed the environment, led to cruelty to animals, as in factory farms, or is it cheap because of child slave labour, because they have to feed their families

And, something to think about: There are 7.2 billion people on the planet today with 9.7 billion predicted for 2050. Already, in some places, we are using up the planet’s finite natural resources faster than nature can replenish them so that it does not make sense that there can be unlimited economic development if we continue with business as usual once the COVID-19 pandemic is over. Unfortunately, that is exactly what so many political and corporate leaders are just waiting to do, all around the world.

But, as a last word, never forget that you make a difference every day. And you have a choice as to what sort of difference you make. For the sake of our children and the health of Mother Earth, choose wisely.

Bekoff, Marc. The World Becomes What We Teach . (An Interview with Zoe Weil of the Institute for Humane Education.)

_____. Easy Ways to Connect Kids to Animals, People, and Nature .

_____. kids & animals: drawings from the hands and hearts of children and youth .

_____. Inmates and Art: Connecting With Animals Helps Soften Them .

_____. Inmates, Animals, and Art: Creative Expressions of Hope .

Goodall, Jane and Marc Bekoff. The Ten Trusts: What We Must Do to Care for The Animals We Love . HarperCollins, San Francisco, 2003.

Peterson, Dale and Marc Bekoff. The Jane Effect: Celebrating Jane Goodall . Trinity University Press, San Antonio. 2015.

Rockett, Caitlin. Roots & Shoots: A unique program at Boulder County Jail has inmates learning from nature . Boulder Weekly , April 13, 2017.

Marc Bekoff, Ph.D. , is professor emeritus of ecology and evolutionary biology at the University of Colorado, Boulder.

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Family harmony and peace: Source of stability, progress and social peace

The family is the basic unit or cell of the social organism. For this reason, when the family deteriorates or becomes corrupted, the whole society suffers the consequences.

The family is the first human institution

«A permanent institution» [1] , as López-Barajas rightly claims, the family is a common and universal institution in all peoples and cultures, past and present, despite the fact that, depending on civilizations, the family institution shows certain differentiated cultural characteristics, or has evolved and changed in some ways throughout history.

The family is the basic structure of human existence

The family is a quasi-natural unit, in the sense that it has some immutable natural aspects and other variable cultural aspects.

Animals also form families, but only for the purpose of multiplication and preservation of the species, and their family ties are usually temporary and based on innate biological instincts.

However, human family ties are permanent and eternal affective bonds based mainly on voluntary and responsible relationships based on reciprocal exchanges of love, affections, ideals, goods and services.

Family is a microcosm of the universe

The family is a microcosm that is governed by natural laws and unchanging moral laws. In fact, in the universe, all beings and things exist in the form of pairs of masculine and feminine entities, and the most simple and general law of the cosmos is the universality of reciprocal interactions between pairs of complementary entities, or law of giving and receiving. These interactions are the ones that guarantee the existence, movement, stability and cohesion of all the systems of the universe.

Similarly, the harmonious union between husband and wife is governed by that same general law that governs the universe, that is to say, it is realized through relationships of mutual exchanges of love, care and services, which are the ones that guarantee the existence, multiplication, stability and happiness of the family.

Universal and invariable family rules and conventional and variable rules

For this reason, there are universal family norms, which are invariable moral laws, such as the universal precepts of filial piety, conjugal fidelity, fraternity and paternal and maternal sacrificial love, as well as the prohibitions of incest and adultery.

Proof of this is that the violation of these rules causes the deterioration or disruption of the give and take circuit between family members and the destruction of harmony and family happiness.

In addition to these unchanging moral laws, in the family there are other less important or secondary rules or norms that are conventional and variable, such as the particular division of tasks or social roles.

All historical attempts to abolish or radically distort the family ended in resounding failure

The reason for this is that the family is a vital, essential and irreplaceable element so that society and the world can exist and function.

Lopez-Barajas reaches this same conclusion:

My thesis is... that: man has no other way to humanity but through the family. And the family must be placed as the very foundation of the request for the good of man and all efforts to make our human world more and more human.

No one can escape this request: no society, no people, no system; Neither the State, nor the Church, nor even the individual. The family is the primary cell of the social fabric. [2]

Overcoming the current crisis of the family and avoiding the collapse of family unity is a priority task that is the responsibility of all societies, peoples and cultures of the world if we want to guarantee social and global peace.

The recovery of family stability and harmony is the most effective solution to:

• The problems of self-destructive, antisocial and compulsive behaviors of youth.
• School failure and lack of identity and self-esteem.
• The isolation, depression and loneliness suffered by both young and adults.

That would also be the solution to social plagues such as crime, rape, sexual abuse of minors, and the proliferation of mafias that enrich themselves at the expense of human vices and degradations, such as prostitution and adult pornography and, much worse, child pornography.

The reconstruction of the family unity and harmony could also help to:

• Contribute to strengthening neighborhood, community and social ties.
• Encouraging citizen solidarity.
• Prevent the corruption of professionals, entrepreneurs and public servants.
• Improve family and national economy.
• Raise the quality of life of all citizens.
• Solve environmental problems.
• Encourage people to do voluntary work for the well-being of other disadvantaged ethnic groups or cultures of the world.

American educators such as Charmaine Crouse Yoest and John and Paula Sandford reaffirm our theses:

From the point of view of society, the family is important because of its role in the formation of good citizens. Fundamentally, the state needs stability, individual achievements or initiatives and loyalty on the part of its citizens, and the family promotes these three qualities. (...)

History has shown the bankruptcy of the opposition to the family. The only way open for individuals and for the nation is the reconstruction and revaluation of the family. The society that does this, will become the strongest. [3]

The stability of a society can be measured by the unity and health of its families, since the foundations of character and basic attitudes towards life of the persons are built on relationships with father, mother, and others close one in the early stages of life.

Societies become unstable and crime rates increase when the institution of the family begins to fall apart. [4]

[1] Emilio López-Barajas Zayas, « La familia es una institución permanente », en  La familia en el tercer milenio , UNED, Madrid, 1995, p. 11. (English translation: Emilio López-Barajas Zayas, "The family is a permanent institution", in The family in the third millennium, UNED, Madrid, 1995, p. 11. )

[2] Ibid., p. 20.

[3] Charmaine Crouse Yoest, «Fount of Virtue, Spring of Wealth, How the Strong Family Sustains a Prosperous Society», en The World and I , August, 1994, Washington, pp. 359, 375.

[4] John and Paula Sandford, «Covenant, not Contract», en The World and I , November, 1997, Washington, p. 40.

Dealing with Difficult Family Relationships

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Understanding family relationships

Building closer family bonds, getting along with adult relatives, improving relationships with your adult children, reclaiming your adult siblings, improving relationships with your extended family, tips to improve family relationships.

Looking to improve your relationships with your family members? Learn how emotional intelligence (EQ) is your most effective tool for overcoming rifts and strengthening bonds.

There’s nothing like family. The people we’re related to by blood and marriage are expected to be our closest allies, our greatest sources of love and support. Too often, however, our interactions with family are filled with misunderstanding and resentment, bickering and badgering. Those we should know and be known by best, end up feeling like adversaries or strangers.

Family is where our first and strongest emotional memories are made, and that’s where they keep appearing. And this is why emotional intelligence (EQ) succeeds where other efforts at family harmony fail. Active awareness and empathy—the ability to be aware, accepting, and permanently attuned to ourselves and others—tells us how to respond to one another’s needs.

EQ is incredibly powerful in the family because it puts you in control of your relationships with parents and children, siblings, in-laws and extended family. When you know how you feel, you can’t be manipulated by other’s emotions; nor can you blame family conflict on everyone else. Most of the techniques for improving family relationships are therefore centered on communicating your feelings to those you care about, as close relationships are centered around feeling.

Without this emotional intimacy, family contact becomes a burden, because no one is comfortable spending that much time with a stranger. If you want your family members to know and accept each other lovingly, you have to begin with your own emotional honesty and openness. When you do, the suggestions offered below are transformed from familiar reasonable advice, to highly effective methods for bringing your family ever closer.

10 tips for improving family relationships

• Take care of your health if you hope to take care of anyone else . The more demanding of your time your family is, the more you need to fit in exercise. Perhaps you and your family can seek out ways to exercise together.
• Listen if you expect to be heard . Lack of communication is the loudest complaint in most families. The answer to “Why won’t they listen to me?” may be simply “You’re not listening to them.”
• Teach emotional choice . Manage your moods by letting all feelings be OK, but not all behaviors. Model behavior that respects and encourages the feelings and rights of others yet make it clear that we have a choice about what to do with what we feel.
• Teach generosity by receiving as well as giving . Giving and receiving are parts of the same loving continuum. If we don’t give, we find it hard to receive, and if we can’t receive, we don’t really have much to give. This is why selflessness carried to extremes is of little benefits to others.
• Take responsibility for what you communicate silently . The very young and old are especially sensitive to nonverbal cues. More than our words, tone of voice, posture (body language), and facial expressions convey our feelings. We have to listen to our tone of voice and look at ourselves in pictures and in the mirror to assess our emotional congruency. Loving words coming through clenched teeth don’t feel loving—they feel confusing.
• Don’t try to solve problems for your loved ones . Caring for your family doesn’t mean taking charge of their problems, giving unsolicited advice, or protecting them from their own emotions. Let them know their own strengths and allow them to ask you for what they need.
• Make a lasting impression through actions . Your values will be communicated by your actions, no matter what you say. Be an example, not a nag.
• Acknowledge your errors to everyone , including younger family members. Saying you’re sorry when you hurt someone you love, models humility and emotional integrity. You can demonstrate that no one is perfect, but everyone can learn at any age. Apologizing proves you can forgive yourself and makes it easier to forgive others.
• Discover what each person’s unique needs are . You can’t assume that your grandmother needs the same signs of love as your three-year-old or that either one will have the same needs next year. When in doubt, ask!
• Be generous in expressing love . Everyone in a family (especially young children) needs the emotional reassurance of loving words, gestures, and looks. Those who demand the least emotional attention may need it most.

Look to yourself first . A family is a system made up of interdependent individuals, but that doesn’t mean you can blame your family of origin for the way you are today, any more than you can hold your mate and children responsible for your personal happiness. Your best hope for fixing any family problem is to attend your own emotional health. When you act on the belief that you have a right and obligation to assert your own emotional needs, your family will notice that your emotional independence benefits not only you, but the whole family, and they may quickly follow your lead.

Remember that consistency builds trust. Studies have shown that lack of consistency destroys trust. Off-and-on emotional awareness will cause those who love and depend on you, especially children, to get confused and frightened. That’s why it’s so important to keep your awareness active with family.

Recognize that being close doesn’t mean being clones. Sometimes family ties blind us to the uniqueness of those we love. Pride in the family continuum can make it easy to forget that. You can’t be expected to have the same talents as your siblings, even though you may look a lot alike; that you won’t necessarily choose to follow in parent’s footsteps; or that you and your spouse should spend all your leisure time joined at the hip just because you’re married.

Remember that knowing people all your life doesn’t mean understanding them. “I knew you when…” doesn’t mean I know you now, no matter how much I’ve always loved you. We all change, and yet each of us seems to only see change in ourselves. How infuriating is it to be introduced as someone’s kid brother when you’re fifty-five, or to be perpetually treated as the airhead you were at fourteen despite the fact that you’re now CEO of your own company. Now that you’ve acquired empathy , you can gently steer your family away from stagnant patterns of interaction by modeling the attention you’d like to receive. When you’re with your family, don’t automatically seek the conversational refuge of talking over old times. Ask what’s new and show that you really care by eliciting details and then listening with your body and mind.

Watch out for destructive emotional memories. Catching your thirty-year-old self responding to a parent in the voice of the five-year-old you can make you feel weak and frustrated. With EQ you don’t need to keep getting snared by emotional memories. Whenever you feel out of control with family—whether it’s kicking yourself for acting like a kid with your parents or agonizing over where the anger you’re dumping on your innocent spouse and children is coming from—take a moment to reflect on the memories that are imposing on your behavior today.

Cherish every stage of life in each family member. No matter how well we understand that it can’t happen, we desperately want Mom and Dad to stay the way they are, and for the kids to stay home forever. The best to accept that fact emotionally, is to embrace change. Accept the natural fear that your parents’ aging evokes but use your emotional awareness and empathy to figure out how you can cherish this moment for its unique qualities. What can you and your parents share now that wasn’t possible in the past? Can you keep having fun and make sure everyone still feels useful and worthy in the family support system, even though roles and responsibilities must be altered?

If you’re not sure what will work, ask. Fully accepting your fear of change can make it easier to broach subjects that you may have considered awkward in the past. Maybe your parents are just waiting for your cue. Feel them out. In a flexible, healthy family dynamic, change is just one of the many opportunities you have to enrich one another.

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Two elements threaten harmonious relations with parents and adult siblings, in-laws and adult children: lack of time and an abundance of emotional memories. The two add up to the fear that we’ll be overwhelmed by each other’s needs, giving up ourselves if we give anything to these adult relatives. We do need to invest time in figuring out what our parents want most from us, sustaining close friendships with brothers and sisters, and gathering together without fulfilling every bad joke ever written about contentious, selfish families.

But emotional intelligence gives us so much energy and creativity that the demands of these relationships don’t need to be heavy. We recognize change as it occurs in individuals by recognizing emotional memories when they’re triggered. Keep your EQ strong, and your adult family encounters are no longer dominated by cleaning up after mistakes and managing crises that have already resulted in disaster.

Many parents are dismayed to find that they can’t just sit back and enjoy the fruits of their labor once they’ve successfully guided their children into adulthood. No relationship stands still. The key to a successful ongoing relationship with your grown children is your ability to deal with the change and growth that comes before role reversal. You have to keep the lines of emotional communication open; your children may be wrapped up in career, love, and friendships at this stage in their lives. Let them know how you feel and what you need from them.

If you’ve only recently raised your EQ, of course, you may have some amending to do, some changes to make in your style of interaction with your children. Do they avoid you because you force advice or your own choices on them? Do you bring more disappointment and judgement to the relationship than they can tolerate? Have you listened empathically to how your children feel about their choices? Or have you tried to find out what their unique needs are? Some adult children keep their distance because they feel injured by past experiences with you; in that case the only way to improve the relationships is to stick to these tips—listen to their hurt and admit you were wrong. Here are a few ways to bridge the gap:

• Find out why it’s so hard to accept your children’s choices when they’re different from your own. Use the hot buttons exploration described above, but ask yourself why you feel so strongly about this issue, why you need to be in control, and why you can’t accept their right to make independent choices?
• Tap into the power of apology. It’s never too late to say, “I’m sorry, I wish I could have been a better parent,” “I wish I had done things differently,” or “You deserved better than I gave.” Heartfelt words of sadness and regret become particularly powerful in a letter—as long as the letter is given as a gift without expectations about what it will bring in return. It may bring nothing except the knowledge that you have done your best to right past wrongs. You may also wish to ask if there is any way that you can make amends.
• Explore what you expect from each other. If your estranged child is willing, each of you should make a list of no more than seven items on the subject of what you want and need from each other and what you think the other wants and needs from you. Now compare lists and see how close each of you comes to meeting the other’s needs.

If your child is unwilling or you’re unwilling to ask, you can still do this exercise on your own. Fill out the list for yourself, then move to another chair or position and fill out a list as you think your adult child would. Now compare. Is what your adult child needs different from what you’re offering? Have you failed to recognize how the child has changed?

In high-EQ families, brothers and sisters divide up responsibilities for aging parents and look forward to occasions to get all the generations together, because they all now their limits and their talents and how to convey them. Unfortunately, this is not an accurate portrait of many adult sibling relationships because too often history intervenes. Maybe your parents didn’t provide the type of love and support your brother needed as well as they did for you. Maybe childhood memories trigger too much resentment, jealousy, and rivalry. Maybe it just hurt too much when the sister who knew you so well didn’t care enough to notice how you’ve changed over the years.

Whatever the problem, you can use any of the ideas in this article to renew your relationship. If you have the time, you can also try reconnecting by going away together where you will both be comfortable and undisturbed. Try an unstructured setting and use your time together to send a lot of “I feel” messages. Clarify that in expressing yourself you’re not asking your sibling to change. When your sibling responds, make sure you listen with your body, not with retorts prepared in your head.

If your sibling is hard to reach, and an outing won’t work, can you reconnect by soliciting help in a way that acknowledges his or her unique talents? Think about ways you can make your sibling feel uniquely needed.

How are your relationships with your extended family—those you’re related to by marriage or through looser blood ties? Strained because you’re trying to form family bonds without the emotional history to make them stick? Or smooth because they don’t come with the emotional baggage that your immediate family of origin drags around? Either is possible in any individual relationship. How difficult one of these relationships is may depend on how important it is to you and how long you’ve been at it. Getting along with a brand-new mother-in-law, therefore mother, has left unpleasant emotional memories. On the other hand, it’s probably a snap to be cordial to the cousin you see only at holiday gatherings.

How good and how deep your relationships are with extended family will depend largely on what you want them to be. We feel guilty if we resent our own parents, but there’s nothing that says we have to love our in-laws, so many people don’t feel obligated to make a huge effort. Simply extend the same empathy to your extended family as you would to anyone else you encounter, and that means accepting the broad range of differences that’s bound to exists so you can find the common points of connection.

If you’re also willing to listen with empathy no matter who is speaking, admit error, and watch the nonverbal cues you send, you stand a pretty good chance of becoming everyone’s favorite niece, cherished uncle, or model in-law. Assuming you haven’t yet achieved that state, here are a few tips to make extended-family relationships rewarding.

Remember that you don’t have to like everyone equally.

Sometimes, even when you make your most open-hearted efforts, you end up disliking a relative or an in-law. Examine how much your own baggage keeps you from appreciating this person. Then accept your feelings and interact with the person only to the extent that you remain comfortable. You may find that removing the stress of seeing him or her under that pressure opens your heart a crack wider.

If you can only ask loaded questions, don’t say anything at all.

Research has shown that the emotional message is 90 percent of what people get from any communication , and that’s why it’s important to be emotionally aware of what your motives are, and to take responsibility for what you convey through gestures and expressions, as well as words. Too often we don’t say what we mean because we’re afraid to take responsibility for the feelings that motivate us. So, we manipulate people by making offers that beg to be refused or by saying we don’t mind when we do and then resenting the perceived offender. If you can’t be emotionally honest with your extended family, go somewhere else.

Adapted from Raising Your Emotional Intelligence: A Hands-on Program for Harnessing the Power of Your Instincts and Emotions by Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

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May 3, 2017

Family Conflicts: 7 Ways to Keep the Peace in Your Home

Written by Rachel Eddins

Posted in  Parenting & Family and with tags: Communication , family

It seems like the most intense conflicts always happen at home and with the people closest

to us. Family conflicts can take various forms, like:

• a shouting match with your teenager over the type of clothes they want to wear for their school’s prom
• a disagreement with your in-laws over where you will spend the holidays
• an argument with your spouse about ending the co-sleeping habits of your youngest children
• a squabble between relatives over who will get granddad’s vintage Sam Houston and Davy Crockett memorabilia collection
• a rivalry between siblings about which one of them is the best soccer player

Whatever the case, family conflicts tend to cause the greatest pain and suffering. This is mostly because our feelings are so deeply involved in close quarters, especially if you live in a large city like Houston. It’s no surprise. Families are made up of individuals with different personalities, feelings, and viewpoints. Hard as you may try, nobody can do or say exactly the right thing all the time. Conflicts are unavoidable.

Nevertheless, it is possible to enjoy at least a measure of peace in your home. How?

7 Ways of Keeping the Peace in Your Family

• Cultivate a positive view of others

Family conflicts often start with one person feeling their opinion matters most or others should share it because it’s the only correct view. Promoting peace in the family means that you take a good, hard look at yourself and realize that your opinion is as valid as any other family members’ viewpoint. Instead of thinking negatively of each other, learn to develop a positive view. Yield to one another. And don’t just look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.

• Demonstrate patience and mildness

Many great minds have acknowledged the universal truth that what is soft and yielding can overcome what is rigid and hard. That’s why patience and mildness can conquer even the hardest entrenched patterns. When conflict arises, learn to take a deep breath , step back, and look at the matter from all angles. Examine 1) your own perspective, 2) that of the other person, and 3) how a third party would view the matter. This will help you view any problem with some detachment and more objectively.

• Never resort to being abusive

Reacting with verbal or physical abuse in family conflicts is an act of war, not peace. Instead of making your words stab like a dagger, focus on saying things that sooth and heal your loved one’s feelings. Even if you have a point to make, carefully consider what you should say and how to say it. Resist the urge to be sarcastic, raise your voice, or make unfounded accusations. Aim to disarm, not wound. Violent words or conduct are inexcusable.

• Practice sharing and giving

A family is about having fun, laughing, sharing good times together, and enjoying each other’s company. When you practice giving and sharing with your family members, you become a living example. Take time to think about your family members and figure out what makes them happy. Surprise them with something you know they’ll like. Even if they’re reluctant at first, in time, they will follow suit and begin thinking of what they can do for you to make you happy in turn. Promoting peace is a win-win situation.

• Listen attentively

The most perplexing thing about conflict is that it’s usually based on what you conclude has happened, not what really did happen. When emotions run high, actions and words can easily be misinterpreted or motives misconstrued. That’s why it’s so important to learn to listen attentively — with an open mind and without prejudice. Rather than imputing bad motives to others, acknowledge their feelings. Keeping peace means giving each other the benefit of the doubt, showing compassion and empathy, and respecting each other’s opinions.

• Be ready to apologize

If you have wronged or offended one of your family members, take responsibility for your part in the conflict. Be quick to apologize and let them know what you’ll do to correct the situation. Even if you feel you’ve done nothing wrong, you can apologize for responding in a bad way or unintentionally contributing to the problem. Peace within your family is more important than pride and victory. When you fight, both parties lose.

• Be willing to forgive

Sometimes, you may hold back forgiveness after family conflicts have been settled. It’s like you’re carrying that little remnant of the problem with you just in case you need to remind others what they had done. But remember, family peace is impossible without forgiving. If someone apologizes, be eager to forgive them freely and fully. It’s one of the most beautiful and uniting things when someone forgives another for what they have said or done in a moment of agitation.

Never give up promoting peace in your home. Don’t give up even when family conflicts don’t disappear right off or some family members don’t want to be very cooperative. And if you need extra help, don’t shy away from seeking family counseling. It’s well worth the effort to be a peacemaker and work on promoting tranquility in your family. Contact us in Houston to schedule an appointment at 832-559-2622 or schedule an  appointment online .

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A Legacy of Peace and Harmony Begins with Values and Good Habits and Traditions

Global Peace Women  Webinar  Peacebuilding from Home to Society  Session 5 Concludes Series

Global Peace Women concluded its Women-led Peacebuilding from Home to Society 2021 Webinar Series with Session 5: “How to Build a Legacy of Peace and Harmony: Lessons from a Century of Peacebuilding,” on June 26, 2021.

Beatriz Muhnoz, project coordinator of GPW Brazil, and educator Dr. Nona Ricafort present at the GPW webinar.

It was a wisdom filled session as Dr. Nona Ricafort, a distinguished educator and women’s advocate from the Philippines, imparted lessons from a shared experience of a century of peacebuilding in her family. Her heartwarming stories highlighted the crucial role of every family member—parents, children and siblings—in building a tradition of peace and harmony.  “Families are God’s gift to each of us, and we are responsible for creating the right relationships and environment to foster peace, respect and courage,” explained Dr. Ricafort.

It is through guidance that children learn to find peace, self-dignity and propriety as they grow, she said. In Dr. Ricafort’s family, her parents’ vision of equality and peace helped her and her siblings grow up to be people who sought peace and harmony both in their family relations and in their world. Being a mother herself, she recognized a mother’s influence on families. She said that it was the dedication to be present and involved as a parent that developed healthy peaceful family relationships.

She shared heartwarming gratitude to her mother who just passed away in March. “In reality, life doesn’t come with a success manual for mothers to follow, but it comes with a grandmother who has set the ideal scenario in life. Grandmother is a little bit parent, a little bit teacher . . . a little bit best friend; and of course, a bit of an angel on earth, now in heaven. Our Great Grandmother, Mama Pinang has demonstrated the art of mothering in teaching the art of living to all of us, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren and these we shall treasure to the next generation.”

Dr. Ricafort cared for and assisted her parents till the very end. This love, care and service was carried on by her children and their children. She shared some of her family’s legacy of peacebuilding that have passed through three generations.

• Practice love and respect
• Provide sacred quality family time
• Carry out your family responsibility
• Share with kindness and patience
• Practice a spirit of forgiveness and togetherness.
• Follow family home guidelines
• Conduct family prayers
• Bury differences and ensure no one is forgotten.
• Show braveness and courage

Beatriz Muhnoz, project coordinator of GPW Brazil and mother of four, presented her ongoing initiative to help youth, parents, teachers and community leaders talk about, identify and reinforce their values in the family. The program has engaged various circles in a deep dive about values and strategies to affirm and live out those values in family life and by extension the community.

“Conflict resolution is not about being right, it is about active listening and understanding each other,” Beatriz reminded the participants.

The audience tied the two presentations together during the question and answer session as they sought out regional and cultural applications of lessons from both women. The speakers stressed the importance of leading by example to teach children peacebuilding and foster a safe and loving environment. They emphasized the power of tolerance, respect, perseverance and care: the how’s of building healthy families and passing down the lessons of peace and harmony to the future generation.

The session urged everyone to build intentional practices centered on family values that could lay the keystone for a tradition of peace that lasts generations. It starts from simple agreements and habits modeled by the parents and inherited by the children. Everyone can start practicing peacebuilding and investing in the future, starting from themselves.

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Ahimsa, the Way of Living in Peace and Harmony: Indian Perspective

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Ahimsa—founded on the bedrock of amity, forgiveness, tolerance to foster global non-violence, peace and harmony—can be the way forward for humanity. Stern disciplinary actions and coercive approaches may help maintain law and order, but yet individuals may resort to violence and force to achieve their narrow aims more often than not, disrupting peace.

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Acknowledgements

The author has acquired the Indian philosophy of religion and spirituality for his own life long bringing up in the background of a religious Hindu family and mother having initiated me to the Holy Gita since 1954–55, i.e. early childhood. Besides I’ve drawn liberally from my readings and learning over the last decades from the TOI volumes of The Speaking Tree , and the great Indian guru, Sri Eknath Easwaran, Living Thoughts of Great People (Birth Centenary Edition JAICO Publishing House, Mumbai) as well as most importantly from the 2016 book, “Give Nonviolence a Chance: The Journey of Neelkantha Radhakrishnan” by Prof Anoop Swarup, Ed. Konark Publishers Pvt Ltd., NDelhi/Seattle (ISBN 9789322008758).

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Khurana, S.P. (2019). Ahimsa, the Way of Living in Peace and Harmony: Indian Perspective. In: Kelso, J. (eds) Learning To Live Together: Promoting Social Harmony. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-319-90659-1_20

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Family Business Articles Building Family Harmony Starts with Living Our Values

Building Family Harmony Starts with Living Our Values

By Deb Houden

Family harmony is a critical component to a strong family business. Alignment in vision and values and strong commitment from family members helps business leaders to make tough decisions that will steer the company in an appropriate direction. Family harmony and competitive advantage can result from this alignment. What does family harmony mean? It means the ability to trust and support, communicate differences in a constructive manner and look beyond the self (and immediate family) at a broader picture. It means continuous work and constant reflection on actions that keep a healthy connection with the family as a larger unit. Family harmony does not mean there are no arguments. It does not mean sacrificing the self to be subsumed by the larger whole, without voice or choice. As Randel Carlock and John Ward state in their book When Family Businesses Are Best: The Parallel Planning Process for Family Harmony and Business Success : “Business interactions are professional and temporal, meaning that plans require clarity and a relatively short time frame; family relationships, in contrast, are emotional and last forever.”

Structuring Values

Family harmony can be aided by focusing on a simple structure to identify and clarify family values and using those values as guideposts in family and business vision, strategy, investment and governance.

But identifying and clarifying family values isn’t enough. It takes real courage and tenacity to make sure future family decisions and actions are based on values. Just as empty business values can create cynical and disheartened employees, so too can empty family values create cynical and mean-spirited family members. Adhering to common family values can steer the family towards productive behavior and appropriate business decision making. Patrick Lencioni argues in “Make Your Values Mean Something” (Harvard Business Review, July 2002) that businesses need to identify their core values. He suggests that there are four different types of values: core values, aspirational values, permission-to-play values and accidental values. Lencioni asserts that companies which identify, cultivate and adhere to their core values achieve a distinct competitive advantage; so, too, can a family. When business owning families cultivate and adhere to their core values, they give the company and their family an advantage in prospering over the generations to come.

Values in Action

As consultants to family business, we often begin our work with families by helping them identify their core values in action terms. Many times, when we ask about their values, we get answers like “respect, integrity, honesty.” Sometimes families identify these values, but then don’t live by them on a day-to-day basis. One family had spent considerable time on a values exercise coming up with the following list:

• Togetherness

The family truly believed in these values but their everyday experiences with each other were in conflict with this vision. This family’s sibling group was mired in competitiveness, hurt feelings and mistrust. In-laws were perceived as out-laws and the parents had positioned themselves as arbitrators and communication conduits for their children. At one point, the siblings hadn’t talked to each other in quite some time. Many of the values they had listed were aspirational values. The values of “caring, supportive, togetherness, and respect” simply were not their values in action. It was what they wanted their values to be – what they aspired their values to be – but it wasn’t supported by their behavior. Unfortunately, the group did not have enough trust built up between them to develop the tenacity needed to achieve their aspirational values.

Achieving Actionable Values

We spent time honing their list of values and breaking them into three of the four components described by Lencioni: core, aspirational and permission-to play. Core values consisted of honesty and generosity. The values of integrity and respect were identified as permission-to-play values – simply those values that were deemed necessary in each of us as a human being to belong to a group. Finally, the aspirational values were identified and honed to work towards as a common goal for the family.

At each meeting, the values were reviewed and each individual was asked to reflect on how they did or didn’t live those values since we had last met. Each family member did a lot of soul-searching, reparation and subtle changing to help the larger family work through their challenges. By naming the value and the behavior associated with that value, the family was able to identify how they could modify their actions to start living the values they deemed important. Unfortunately, many families have an expectation that their family has certain values, but the mismatch between values and actions leads to disappointment, ill will and hard feelings. Ultimately, the family mentioned here reached “caring and supportive” as core values in their actions. Through courage and tenacity, the family was able to identify, clarify and ultimately live their core values. As a result, some of their other aspirational values turned to core. Today, the resulting harmony in their family has given their business a competitive advantage over others in their industry because of the time, courage and adherence given to their core values.

Aligning Values for Future Generations

Another family that had gained considerable wealth from their family enterprise was concerned about the next generation coming of age. The first-generation parents had created the wealth and were anxious about the potential for entitlement, division and squandering among their children and their families. Some of the siblings were employed in the business, and some were not. Their parents had done considerable estate planning but had not communicated any details to their children. Soon, the siblings (and their families) would receive some of the benefits of ownership due to the estate planning.

To help the family deal with their concerns about carrying the values forward, we worked in distinct groups: the wealth-generating parents as one group, and each sibling and their spouse as the other groups. Each person had to choose 10 values (out of a provided list of 50) that they believed identified their family. Then they were asked to rank the top five in order of importance. When the entire group met again, each subgroup identified their values and the family then worked to find a common thread among all the values presented. The next step was to associate the values with behaviors in the family. What they discovered was considerable agreement with each other over their core values and the associated behaviors of those values. The first generation parents were pleased to see their children and spouses were grounded in the same values that they were, and that it showed in the way they treated each other. As with many families, the siblings couldn’t be more different in their personalities, but when it came to their values, they were remarkably similar and aligned. Developing this understanding about the values of the second generation created a bright spot for the future of the enterprise, as well as for the family. The siblings trusted each other because of their alignment and were poised to make intelligent decisions regarding the future of the family enterprise and the wealth they were going to receive.

As a family grows through generations, it is even more important to identify and clarify the family values in order to maintain the harmony needed in a family enterprise. Additions to the family through marriage bring in new values which can be beneficial to the nuclear family, but may pull at the core values once identified by the initial enterprising family. Each generational group should review the core values of the previous generation (along with the associated behaviors) to ensure the alignment of family values to drive vision, strategy, investment and governance. This can be true for an operating company, a foundation or possibly a family office.    Values alignment helps to clarify why the family should remain together as shareholders, and helps the enterprise gain an advantage – because of family harmony. Excerpts from: Carlock, Randel S. and Ward, John L. When Family Businesses Are Best: The Parallel Planning Process for Family Harmony and Business Success . New York, NY: Palgrave Macmillan. 2010. Page 32 and 53.

Articles purchased or downloaded from The Family Business Consulting Group® are designed to provide general information and are not intended to provide specific legal, accounting, tax or other professional advice. Since your individual situation may present special circumstances or complexities not addressed in this article and laws and regulations may change, you should consult your professional advisors for assistance with respect to any matter discussed in this article. The Family Business Consulting Group®, its editors and contributors shall have no responsibility for any actions or inactions made in reliance upon information contained in this article. Articles are based on experience on real family businesses. However, names and other identifying characteristics may be changed to protect privacy.

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12 ways to achieve peace and harmony within the family

There are a dozen things that we can do immediately in order to achieve peace and harmony within the family:

• Pray to Allah together daily.
• Remember Allah often by doing Dhikr (remembrance of Allah), making Dua (supplication) and using terminology such as "Bismillah" and "Alhamdu lillah" regularly.
• Fast together often, not just during Ramadan.
• Read, memorize, recite, study and discuss the Holy Quran, Hadiths, and the lives of the Prophets(peace be upon them), especially the last Prophet Muhammad(peace and blessings be upon him) and his Sahaba (companions) to gain knowledge and understanding of our Deen (way of life).
• Be positive role models by following the example of Prophet in each and every aspect of our lives. Let's strive to apply the principles of the Holy Quran to our daily lives.
• Develop love, manners and respect for each other by hugging, speaking in low voices, saying "please" and "thank you," and showing compassion and genuine concern for each other.
• Clearly define and assign specific tasks and responsibilities for all family members, so each one can actively participate and learn to willingly help each other (be involved).
• Communicate with each other regularly. Have family discussions. Encourage everyone to share his or her feelings, thoughts, and opinions. Don't just talk, listen. Remember, we have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak.
• Consult each other regularly. Establish Shura (consultation) within the family. Set goals and work towards them together.
• Establish a library of Islamic books, magazines, audio tapes and videos to read, view and listen to together. Numerous tapes and videos of Quranic recitations, Islamic songs, Islamic poetry and lectures by prominent Muslim scholars have been produced.
• Visit the local mosque or Islamic center together for prayer, classes, Eid celebrations and other activities.
• Relax, unwind and reduce stress together. Play board games. Walk. Play outdoor games. Visit a park, playground or museum together or go on a picnic together. The key word is "together". In order to achieve peace and harmony within the family, we must make a commitment to do things "TOGETHER" - as a family - whether it's praying to Allah or just relaxing!

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6 Things That Will Bring Peace To Your Family Life

A re you looking for the key to peaceful family life? The hustle and bustle of everyday life can be tough on both parents and children, but it doesn’t have to be that way. There are simple steps you can take to help ease the stress and restore harmony among family members. In this blog post, we share our top 6 ways that will bring peace to your family life. From setting clear boundaries to taking time out for yourself – these tips are easy enough for anyone to implement right away! 

So if your home has been feeling like anything but an oasis of tranquility lately, read on – because we believe these 6 things really will make all the difference when it comes to bringing peace into your home.

1. Set boundaries and be consistent in enforcing them

Setting boundaries and enforcing them can feel like a daunting task, but it is ultimately vital for maintaining healthy relationships and fostering personal growth. The key to success lies in establishing clear rules and expectations and staying consistent in enforcing them. Whether it’s in a romantic relationship, a friendship, or a professional setting, boundaries help us communicate our needs and prevent harmful behavior from harming us. By setting boundaries, we empower ourselves to pursue our passions and create a life that aligns with our values. 

2. Take time for yourself

It’s easy to get swept up in the chaos of our daily lives, but it’s important to remember to take a step back and slow down. carving out time for yourself each day can do wonders in reducing stress and boosting your overall well-being. Whether it’s taking a few minutes to enjoy your morning coffee in peace, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in a hobby you love, making “me time” a priority is one of the best things you can do for yourself. A lot of times, taking a break from the day-to-day hustle can help us gain perspective and find peace within. Trying to make this a habit, even if it’s just for 15 minutes each day, can really help you maintain a balanced and tranquil lifestyle.

3. Consult with professionals when needed

Sometimes, our family issues can seem too complex or overwhelming to handle on our own. If this is the case for you, don’t hesitate to reach out for professional help. On the other hand, if you are dealing with some problems of your own, it can be beneficial to do the same. Perhaps consulting with a therapist or visiting places like The Pain Relief Center can make a huge difference in helping you manage your stress or pain. Sometimes, our chronic pain can be the root cause of our family problems, so taking care of this first can be a great way to ensure a peaceful and harmonious home environment.

4. Connect with nature

With everything going on in our busy lives, it’s easy to forget the simple joys of connecting with nature. However, taking the family outside for a hike or a picnic at least once a week can be a great way to de-stress and reconnect with each other. Not only will you be breathing in the fresh air, but you’ll also be getting some exercise and enjoying the beauty of the outdoors. Plus, there’s something special about sharing this experience with your loved ones that can create lasting memories. 

5. Practice gratitude

Making a habit of gratitude is a powerful practice that can transform your life. It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of daily life and forget to acknowledge the small blessings that come our way. Whether it’s a sunny day, a thoughtful gesture from a friend, or a good cup of coffee in the morning, taking the time to express gratitude can shift our focus towards positivity and create a ripple effect of happiness in our lives. 

6. Unplug from technology

In today’s fast-paced world, it seems like everyone is constantly glued to their screens. From smartphones to laptops to televisions, technology surrounds us at all times. But what about the importance of spending quality time with loved ones? Encouraging your family to unplug from technology every now and then can work wonders for strengthening relationships and creating lasting memories. Whether it’s playing a board game, going for a walk, or cooking a meal together, these simple activities can bond a family in ways that technology simply cannot. 

The key to a peaceful family life is to prioritize connection and quality time. Spending time together regularly, setting boundaries and enforcing them, appreciating each other and nature, being grateful for what you have, and unplugging from technology can all be small steps towards reaping the benefits of greater peace and harmony in your home. It may take some work and dedication but it’s worth it for a happier family life. Remember that no one is perfect – give yourselves time to learn and grow together – that is the true meaning of family.

The post 6 Things That Will Bring Peace To Your Family Life appeared first on Sunny Sweet Days .

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How to Make Peace in Your Community

Last Updated: February 23, 2024

This article was co-authored by Saul Jaeger, MS . Saul Jaeger is a Police Officer and Captain of the Mountain View, California Police Department (MVPD). Saul has over 17 years of experience as a patrol officer, field training officer, traffic officer, detective, hostage negotiator, and as the traffic unit’s sergeant and Public Information Officer for the MVPD. At the MVPD, in addition to commanding the Field Operations Division, Saul has also led the Communications Center (dispatch) and the Crisis Negotiation Team. He earned an MS in Emergency Services Management from the California State University, Long Beach in 2008 and a BS in Administration of Justice from the University of Phoenix in 2006. He also earned a Corporate Innovation LEAD Certificate from the Stanford University Graduate School of Business in 2018. This article has been viewed 205,446 times.

Problems within a community can prevent people from living safe, happy, and productive lives. Promoting peace in a community is an extraordinary challenge, and it often requires the work and dedication of many community members. However, you can help to promote peace within your community by encouraging good relationships with your neighbors, learning more about your community's history, and taking action to deal with violence.

Promoting Peace Among Your Neighbors

• Introducing yourself to people . Make a habit of introducing yourself to the people you meet in daily life. Show genuine interest in them, and ask them questions about their lives, jobs, and families.

• Visiting new places . Visit businesses and public areas that you don't typically visit. Take note of changes in your community as well, such as new neighbors, local construction projects, or newly opened or closed businesses.
• Walking around your neighborhood . If it is safe to do so, walk or take public transit instead of driving a car. This will allow you to see, hear and experience your community and its members more intimately.

• If you don't feel ready to plan an event, then you could also organize a small meeting. Try planning a meeting and inviting some other community members who are interested in making your community a more peaceful place. Use the meeting to share your concerns and discuss possible solutions.

• Look into volunteering at a local soup kitchen, homeless shelter, or animal shelter. Try visiting local organizations' websites or calling to see if they are looking for volunteers.

• Home or cell phone numbers
• Workplace addresses and phone numbers
• E-mail addresses, or social media accounts
• Contact info for neighbors' immediate family, in case of emergency

• If you can, consider offering to help set up, run, or clean up after the event.

• Depending on what community you live in, there may be many meetings that you have a right to attend, including city council meetings, meetings of other government committees, and meetings of public organizations such as parent teacher associations.
• Online resources, such as https://www.usa.gov/local-governments , are available to help you locate public offices, services and meetings.
• You can also contact your local city council, chamber of commerce, or other local government organization for help.

Exploring Your Community's History

• When, and by whom, was the community founded?
• What businesses, cultures, religions, or political movements were influential in the founding of the community?
• How has the population of the community changed over time? Has it grown or shrunk? Has it become more or less wealthy?
• How did major events in the world, such as wars or financial crises, affect the community and its residents?
• How has the role of the community in the larger region changed over time? For example, many communities suffer serious consequences when once prominent industries or businesses (railroads, manufacturing plants, etc.) closes or leaves the region.

• For help finding a local historical society, consult an online directory, such as http://www.preservationdirectory.com/preservationorganizationsresources/organizationcategories.aspx

• Most people learn about history in courses at school or in college, but you don't have to be a student to gain access to the subject. Your local library contains all the resources you'll need for a lifetime of learning. Ask your librarian for recommendations.

• What big changes have occurred in the community during their life?
• Has the state of the community improved or become worse in recent times?
• What steps have people taken in the past to improve the community, and were they successful?
• What, in their experience, are the causes of unrest in the community?

Create community through human connection and by finding common ground. "No matter who we are or what we look like or what we may believe, it is both possible and, more importantly, it becomes powerful to come together in common purpose and common effort."

Dealing with Violence in Your Community

• By investigating the potential causes of the violence in your community, you can work on some tailored solutions to the violence. For example, a lack of jobs might be due to poor educational opportunities for people in your community. Therefore, improving educational opportunities might be the best way to prepare people for jobs and cut down on violent crimes.
• Or, if many of the kids in your community spend their spare time on the streets, then building a community center or increasing the programming at a local community center may provide the kids with somewhere to go after school.

• Discuss how more vulnerable community members, such as elders, can be cared for and protected from violence.
• Arrange carpooling or offer to escort those who need to leave their home, but are fearful to go out alone.
• If children are present in the neighborhood, have a frank discussion with your neighbors about where the children can gather should they find themselves in danger.

• Try looking into violence prevention nonprofits for help and information. While the availability of such programs depends on where you live, thousands of organizations exist to assist communities struggling with violence and unrest. Contacting a local anti-violence or community organizing nonprofit is a great way to find out about what others are doing to make positive changes in their communities.

• Be open and honest in discussing issues of violence with your family, friends and neighbors. Conversations about such important, urgent issues can become heated, but do not shy away from disagreement. Instead, try to listen to what others have to say, and try to understand their perspectives before responding.
• Community leaders such as religious or school officials, business owners, community organizers, and local politicians are another great resource.
• Ask about other people's personal experiences with violence, or other community issues. Ask them what they think has caused these issues, and what they think should be done to solve them.

• Classes in community organizing are offered at many universities and colleges, and can sometimes be taken remotely over the internet.

Expert Q&A

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• ↑ http://www.actionforhappiness.org/take-action/get-to-know-your-neighbours-better
• ↑ Saul Jaeger, MS. Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department. Expert Interview. 21 February 2020.
• ↑ https://www.lapdonline.org/making-children-families-and-communities-safer-from-violence/
• ↑ http://learn.org/directory/category/Humanities_and_Liberal_Arts/Social_Services/Community_Organizing.html

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