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Mean Baby by Selma Blair review – negotiations with adversity

Written with warmth and candour, the actor’s new memoir chronicles her alcoholism and MS diagnosis – alongside tales of dressing up with Carrie Fisher

A t the age of 3o, Selma Blair saw a fortune teller. She was a successful Hollywood actor – famous for her role in 1999’s Cruel Intentions, and about to set off for Prague to film Hellboy – but privately she was depressed, binge-drinking, and prone to periods of overwhelming despair. Seeing a psychic was in many ways a search for reassurance: about a body whose pain she didn’t understand (Blair would later be diagnosed with multiple sclerosis), the scars of repeated sexual assault, and alcoholism that had almost killed her.

This is not the Selma Blair we know from the covers of Vanity Fair and Vogue, or the quirky roles that made her name. But it is one beautifully laid bare in her memoir, Mean Baby – named after the fact her perpetual frown as a newborn was said to make neighbourhood kids scream when they saw her. “From the very beginning I was misunderstood,” she writes. Growing up in Michigan with three sisters, Blair’s mother (described as her “first great love”) was the defining figure in her life and a complex presence: formidable, glamorous, fiercely loyal, and sometimes cruel.

The passages recounting her childhood are particularly strong, managing to evoke the sense of a highly spirited, funny, but troubled young soul. Blair was seven years old when she started drinking. By college, she was downing spirits – self-medication for undiagnosed MS symptoms and inner sadness. After a breakup, she took a bottle of pills followed by tequila. The efforts to resuscitate her were so intense that they broke her nose.

Written in vignettes and sharply observed, the sometimes harrowing subject matter never weighs Mean Baby down. At times, you feel like you shouldn’t be having quite as much fun as you are but Blair has a self-awareness, wit and charm that makes her sound like a competition winner despite the difficulties she’s faced. Dressing up in Princess Leia costumes with Carrie Fisher. Acne advice from Claire Danes. Rehab with Britney Spears. This is not a misery memoir – I laughed out loud more than I cried.

The final part of the story, in which Blair is diagnosed with MS, is told as openly and unmawkishly as the rest. After decades of being dismissed by doctors as “emotional” and now sober and a mother, she underwent an MRI which found six MS lesions on her brain.

Given what she’s endured, Blair would be entitled to some anger. But she greets her health problems with humour and stoicism: she sometimes wets her pants, but she tells us she’s lucky as she has more pants. And we’re lucky to be along for the ride.

• Autobiography and memoir
• Selma Blair
• Multiple sclerosis

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Selma Blair shares stories of abuse and MS, but she doesn’t want pity

In her memoir, ‘mean baby,’ the ‘hellboy’ actress explores the darkness arising from her fraught relationships with her mother, men, alcohol and, ultimately, multiple sclerosis..

Selma Blair has been a consistent screen presence for the past two decades as a supporting actor in films including “Cruel Intentions,” “Legally Blonde” and the “Hellboy” movies. Her unique, androgynous beauty paired with an often-sullen and petulant, if not to say bratty, demeanor make her perfect for certain roles, and it’s easy to feel that you know her, although, in fact, you know only the characters she plays.

In “Mean Baby,” an intensely self-aware and cheerfully self-revealing Blair explores the abundant darkness arising from her fraught relationships with her mother, men, alcohol and, ultimately, multiple sclerosis. In different hands, this might make for a more painful read. But throughout her breezy narrative, Blair’s wry humor and her chatty, confiding tone make you feel that you’re spending 300 pages with a smart and, yes, slightly bratty new friend.

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If Blair was, in fact, a mean baby, an assertion for which she supplies ample evidence, she came by it honestly. The last of four daughters born to a beautiful, stylish, hard-working, and apparently narcissistic mother, Baby Girl Beitner — as her birth certificate had it — didn’t have a proper name for the first few years of her life.

Blair’s older sisters got cute, perky names: Mimi, Katie and Lizzie. Being finally named “Selma Blair” at age 3, set her apart from her siblings and provided her an anodyne professional name (she dropped the Beitner when she got to Hollywood). Throughout her childhood in a Detroit suburb, Blair yearned to be close to her mother, who doled out affection frugally and kept her daughter at a fashionable arm’s length. “There is always one person who gets under our skin, who knows our weak spots and neuroses and can’t help but go in for the kill,” Blair writes. “They are the people who wound us the most, because we care so much about what they think. …. For me, that person is my mother.” Toward the end of the book, Blair wonders whether her mother, by then suffering memory loss and dying of cancer, “ever called out for me, the interloper, the last child she didn’t want but learned to love.”

Among the instances Blair cites in support of her meanness: at age 3, she bit sister Lizzie on the back (taking out a “chunk of flesh”). Later, she hit an adult next-door neighbor “squarely in the balls” with a metal sprinkler rod. She ruined a boy’s birthday party by pretending to lose an earring and crying out of fear of her mother’s punishment. The rest of the party was spent looking for the earring, which was in Blair’s pocket the whole time. And this, as a young child at her grandfather’s funeral: “I stood next to my dad as he accepted condolences … and punched every man who came near us in the nuts.”

Blair’s biting continued into adulthood, where it became her way of managing the awkwardness of meeting famous people. She bit Seth MacFarlane. She bit Sienna Miller. Kate Moss, she reports, was the first, and only one, to bite back.

Blair says she first became drunk at age 7, at a Passover Seder at which “we basically had Manischewitz on tap.” Alcohol became her go-to means of self-medication. Her drinking causes her plenty of serious trouble, but it doesn’t quite emerge as the dire problem it is until Blair writes about being raped in Florida during spring break from the University of Michigan. It was not an isolated incident, she divulges: “I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ Only that one time was violent. They were total strangers. It was always awful, and it was always wrong, and I came out of each event quiet and ashamed.”

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Blair takes a hiatus from booze while pregnant with her son, Arthur, whose father is the fashion designer Jason Bleick. (Although no longer a couple, the two remain friendly and raise Arthur together.) But it doesn’t last. Traveling by plane in 2016 with Bleick and young Arthur, Blair combined wine and Ambien and raised a real ruckus before passing out. Blair endured the PR nightmare — but she couldn’t forgive herself for allowing this to happen in her son’s presence. “Nothing truly tragic happened on that trip. But it could have,” she writes. “And that was enough. That was the wake-up call. It knocked me out of Selma. It knocked me out of my own discomfort long enough to say, I won’t do this anymore.”

Despite its darkness, “Mean Baby” is also entertaining, particularly when Blair writes about her friendships with Clare Danes (whom she calls her closest friend), Karl Lagerfeld, Ingrid Sischy, Ahmet Zappa (to whom she was married for two years), Sarah Michelle Gellar (with whom she shared an infamous on-screen kiss in 1999’s “Cruel Intentions”), Reese Witherspoon, Carrie Fisher, and, briefly, when both were in the same rehab facility, Britney Spears, whose favorite flip-flops Blair threw in the trash because she thought the star deserved to wear nicer shoes.

“Mean Baby” is peppered with references to Blair’s lifelong physical pain, burning sensations and inexplicable falls. These all foreshadow her diagnosis, in 2018, of multiple sclerosis, an autoimmune condition in which the immune system attacks the protective coating on nerves in the brain and spinal column, leading to numbness and a vast array of other possible symptoms. Blair, 49, guesses she’s had MS for 20 years or more; that’s a long time for MS to progress unchecked by treatment, and her case is more debilitating than many.

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Blair correctly observes that when a celebrity such as she reveals a condition like MS, people look to that person’s example for information and guidance. Because MS affects everyone differently, and because it’s such a complex and poorly understood condition, people with MS, particularly those newly diagnosed, can be especially hungry for such guidance. Blair says she looked toward the late author and fellow MS patient Joan Didion’s example when she received her diagnosis. It’s in that spirit that she offers brutally honest accounts of her symptoms and struggles, including frequent falls, inability to focus, memory loss and incontinence. As she did in the 2021 documentary film “Introducing, Selma Blair,” Blair renders these disheartening details with humor. This is no pity party. In fact, the film more brutally drives home the reality of Blair’s experience: There are scenes in which she struggles to walk using a cane and has difficulty speaking when her therapy dog jumps off her lap. The documentary delivers the full weight of her condition in a way the book cannot.

I, too, have MS. Diagnosed in 2001, I have (knock on wood) kept progression and symptoms largely at bay through self-injections of an expensive but widely used medication. As a fellow MS patient (and former health reporter for this newspaper), I would have liked to read more about Blair’s course of treatment leading up to her decision to undergo HSCT, or hematopoietic stem-cell transplantation, a Hail Mary approach that is generally considered only when all other therapeutic options have been tried and failed.

But “Mean Baby” is not WebMD. Blair’s memoir of her life thus far is funny and frank, a chance to spend time with a brave and big-hearted woman who’s grown up to be not so mean, after all.

Jennifer LaRue is a freelance writer in Hartford, Conn. She was a regular contributor to The Post’s Health section for 15 years.

A Memoir of Growing Up

Knopf. 320 pp. $30

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Review: What Selma Blair’s memoir has to teach us all about self-medication

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Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up

By Selma Blair Knopf: 320 pages, $30 If you buy books linked on our site, The Times may earn a commission from Bookshop.org , whose fees support independent bookstores.

In 2018, Selma Blair revealed on social media that she had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Learning the cause of many years of chronic pain and exhaustion was a revelation for the actor, who offered a visceral look at her treatment for the disease in the 2021 documentary “ Introducing, Selma Blair. ” She has expanded on her story in a new memoir, “ Mean Baby .”

Best known for her roles in the films “Cruel Intentions” and “ Legally Blonde ,” Blair is a beloved cult figure in American cinema. Her offbeat approach landed her a place in the golden age of turn-of-the-millennium young Hollywood. But as her credits diminished in the 2010s, she became the target of tabloid coverage with episodes of strange behavior. As evidenced mostly recently in the case of Britney Spears, the reality behind celebrity missteps, particularly those of young women, is often much more sinister than it appears.

Review: Selma Blair faces MS with humor, strength and messy honesty in new documentary

‘Introducing, Selma Blair,’ directed by Rachel Fleit, chronicles the ‘Cruel Intentions’ actor’s journey with multiple sclerosis.

Oct. 14, 2021

“Mean Baby” is on one level a charming and disarming “memoir of growing up,” as its subtitle puts it. Blair is a talented writer. Her portrait of her formidable mother, Molly, is beautiful, disturbing and acutely readable, leaving you feeling that you know Molly — who called Blair a “mean baby” at birth — well enough to fear her.

But this is no frothy celebrity memoir. Pain is at the heart of “Mean Baby” — both the agony of MS and the consequences of the alcohol abuse Blair resorted to as a coping mechanism.

That pain — excruciating and inexplicable — developed as early as kindergarten. “‘My leg hurts,’ I said as my mother was racing off to work. She didn’t pay it much mind. ‘It really, really hurts.’ I dragged my leg across her bedroom to demonstrate the pain and how it gave out . . . My mother just laughed. She kept on laughing as she told the story for years. ‘What a drama queen! What an actress!’”

Blair also suffered from chronic bladder infections and fevers — ailments she kept to herself. “As a kid, you have pains, but you won’t have a vocabulary for them. Maybe it was a sign. Or maybe it was nothing at all.”

The first time Blair got drunk was during Passover. She was 7, the same year of the dragging-leg episode. “What I do know is that drinking happened to me,” she writes. “And once it did, it became my safety, a way of softening my jagged edges.” But the lines become blurred. How much of Blair’s drinking masked the pain of MS? And as an adult, how many times did Blair blame herself for being, as she puts it, just “a f— mess” rather than someone suffering from a serious illness?

When Blair was near the end of a stint in rehab, she was checked out by her father for a visit to the eye doctor. “Do you see alright?” he asks. She’s not sure. “I’d been having trouble with my vision and was experiencing some unusual pain,” she writes. The doctor doesn’t like what he sees. “You have optical neuritis. An inflammation of the nerves in the eye,” he tells her. “It’s usually a symptom of MS. Multiple sclerosis .”

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March 14, 2019

Convinced that the eye pain is a symptom of the medications prescribed in rehab, she brushes it off. At a follow-up appointment, the neuritis is gone. This would’ve been about 1998, 20 years before Blair was finally diagnosed.

In June 2016, Blair took a trip to Cancun with her ex-husband and young son. “When we got to the airport to fly home, I was exhausted, dehydrated, hungover. I thought, if I can just get some rest, I’ll be able to function as a mother again.” A fellow passenger offered Blair some Ambien to wash down with her drink. The next thing she knew, she was in a hospital with an IV in her arm.

“A blurry photo of me, taken by another passenger, appeared in all the papers,” she recalls. “Now I know I had MS symptoms that I was trying to medicate with booze, but at the time I thought I was losing my mind.”

Blair makes no excuses about her drinking in “Mean Baby.” From that day on, she writes, she’s been sober. “Knowing that my son, the person I created, that I am now responsible for, was present at a time when I lost all sense of myself — the clarity of that shook me to my core.”

In the next few paragraphs, she goes on to apologize to everyone who was on that plane. It’s obvious that she has done the hard work of recovery. Many people use alcohol and other drugs to numb themselves from emotional pain or physical abuse. Blair used it to block symptoms of a physical ailment — and that’s hardly a trivial distinction. According to recent studies , women, particularly those of color, are more likely to have their symptoms dismissed by doctors as psychosomatic. Maybe it’s all in your head. Maybe you’re just a “mean baby.”

There are plenty of celebrity memoirs that tell stories about recovery. While Blair’s is well-written and self-accountable, it stands out because it asks the right questions. Many understand that substance abuse is self-medication. As to what it is we’re medicating against — well, that’s the real story.

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Author Interviews

Selma blair's memoir, 'mean baby,' is the result of all the drama in her life.

NPR's Rachel Martin talks to actress Selma Blair about her book. She recounts her bizarre upbringing, her battles with depression and alcoholism and her battle with multiple sclerosis.

RACHEL MARTIN, HOST:

Selma Blair has spent a lot of her life making other people comfortable, including me.

SELMA BLAIR: Before we even begin, I am just letting you know, with the MS, you know, it's - I am - I'm in great shape but I still do have residual damage.

MARTIN: The actress was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 2018. So when she meets new people, she prepares them for what hanging out with her looks and sounds like.

BLAIR: Some of it is the voice, as you will notice. And, sometimes, if I tuck my legs in, my voice really clears and doesn't block so much. But a lot of times I have spasms and it blocks. And it's fine. I just work through it.

MARTIN: Is it annoying to have to make other people feel comfortable about it?

BLAIR: I make them feel too comfortable that they're like, please leave me now, I get it.

MARTIN: (Laughter).

BLAIR: It can be so harrowing for people because not only they were uncomfortable seeing me lurch around. Then I attack them...

BLAIR: ...Show them the 10 different ways I can lurch around. I mean, it's just - I'm way too dramatic for this.

MARTIN: Selma Blair's new memoir is called "Mean Baby," and it's the result of all the drama in her own life. There's been a lot - loneliness, failed relationships, addiction - just to note, this conversation does include mentions of suicide - but mainly, it is a beautiful tale about how this person learned to love a new version of herself. Selma Blair inherited a lot of her dramatic tendencies from her mother, who died in 2020. When I talked to her, she was in Michigan for her mom's funeral, which was delayed because of COVID.

BLAIR: I adored my mother. My mother was striking and brilliant and a magistrate and very critical and performative in a way. You know, it was her drama. It was her love language to be critical. She really valued beauty. And she wanted me to be pretty. And she raised the bar really high, and I fell short often.

MARTIN: At one point, you write in the book, she was going through a depression. And you quote her saying that the two of you could lock yourselves in the car in the garage if things got really bad.

BLAIR: Yes. My mother did, you know, promise me - Selma, she said, if you can't take it anymore, you tell me, and we'll - we can go in there, and we'll seal up the doors and make sure no one's home. And my father would get upset when my mom would do that. But now I realized once she died that she was doing it to say, I better know, so I can stop you. I realize now maybe it was so that I would go to her if I wanted to do it. She had other children. I don't believe she would have killed herself for them. I mean, my mother was dramatic and eccentric and a million things but she would not have wanted to desert her children.

MARTIN: Even though Selma Blair can rationalize all of that now, it was still a heavy emotional burden for a child to carry. And maybe it was an escape or just the thrill of breaking the rules, but Selma started drinking when she was just 7 years old. And over the years, drinking turned into a central feature of her childhood.

BLAIR: We'd have mimosas, and I'd get nice and buzzed. And there were times where my father said, no, you've had enough.

MARTIN: It wasn't just mimosas. like...

BLAIR: Right.

MARTIN: ...You were raiding the liquor cabinet and getting blackout drunk.

BLAIR: Yes. Like every weekend blackout drunk.

MARTIN: Are you just like, there by the grace of God, go I? Like, how many times...

BLAIR: Yes.

MARTIN: ...Something really bad could have happened to you?

BLAIR: I cannot believe how reckless I was. Now that I have a child, I would - 'cause I am so concerned my son will ever have a drink, but I don't want to project. What do parents do when your template for a childhood is a bit askew?

MARTIN: Her low point came several years ago when she was on vacation with her son - who was 4 at the time - and her son's dad, with whom she'd had a bitter custody battle.

BLAIR: Unbeknownst to me, I really was in an MS flair. I couldn't handle. I couldn't wake up...

MARTIN: And you didn't - we should just say you didn't have a diagnosis at this point.

BLAIR: I did not have a diagnosis.

MARTIN: So now, looking back, you were going through MS symptoms...

BLAIR: This is all looking back, knowing that a lot of the things that I was so ashamed about, that I felt so lazy - or why am I so off balance? What's going on? And one, it's hard to clarify when you're drinking. It's hard to see (laughter) the forest through the trees. But - so I'd be sober for months, and I never drank with my son. But I went to Mexico and as - and the loneliness of realizing I'm somewhere with a man that probably doesn't like me very much right now.

MARTIN: Yeah.

BLAIR: And I remember I ordered in front of him. I ordered, you know, a shot of tequila. And I knew. Don't do this. Don't do this. And I did it. And I spent those four days in my room drinking.

MARTIN: At what point after that did you get the MS diagnosis?

BLAIR: About four years. And I was sober immediately. Never had a drink since.

MARTIN: What was it like to not have that answer, to kind of live in that in-between of, OK, it's not the addiction because I've dealt with that?

BLAIR: I was confused. And I thought, oh, my God, I must be more depressed than I think. I don't know. I don't know what this is. And to get a diagnosis was like, OK, OK, now you can move again.

MARTIN: There was a name.

BLAIR: It's amazing what words can do. People...

MARTIN: Yes.

BLAIR: ...Are like, oh, label's so destructive. One label's so destructive, calling me manic-depressive or this and that, that maybe, you know, I made self-fulfilling. But then another label, something like MS that I had never heard of, even, I - for me. Like, I never - for - in all my groping around for answers and clues, I'd always look to depression. I should have been a bigger hypochondriac. I never...

BLAIR: ...Thought anything would ever physically be wrong with me.

MARTIN: Her symptoms got more intense. And ultimately, Selma and her doctors decided that the best course of treatment was a stem cell transplant. She says she improved immediately afterwards.

The picture included in this part of the book - here. I'll hold it up so you can...

BLAIR: OK. Oh, yeah.

MARTIN: It's you.

BLAIR: That is me with my son. And that - I was actually very sick there. That was after we harvested my bone marrow.

MARTIN: I love this picture, though, because...

BLAIR: I love it, too.

MARTIN: ...I mean, you just have, like, a skiff of hair. You've lost your hair. But...

BLAIR: Yeah.

MARTIN: ...And you look very tired. But - I don't know - there's a lot of strength in your expression.

BLAIR: Thank you. I grew wiser. I grew wiser. And I think when you do have so much suffering for a moment and people help you, it is so healing to have those people. I mean, that's a whole other book about what people do that come into your lives that you don't know that heal you. And I can - I hope to continue writing. I hope that I'll find more things, and I hope someone would read it, maybe like you did, and say, oh, I get it. That's what I hope. And it's never too late to get control of things.

MARTIN: The book is called "Mean Baby" by Selma Blair, "A Memoir Of Growing Up." Selma, it has been such a pleasure to talk with you. Thank you for making time.

BLAIR: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF ANAT FORT TRIO'S "LANESBORO")

MARTIN: If you or someone you know is struggling, please call the suicide hotline, 800-273-8255.

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Selma Blair reflects on life, identity in memoir 'Mean Baby': 'We are all in search of a story'

Actor Selma Blair may never have seen herself as leading lady material, but she’s stepping fully into the spotlight by telling her own story.

Blair’s debut memoir “Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up” (Alfred A. Knopf, 289 pp., ★★★★ out of four, out now) offers a biting, emotionally poignant account of the Hollywood star's life, from her upbringing in Michigan to her roles in iconic films “Cruel Intentions” and “Legally Blonde.”

While Blair’s first role may not have yielded her Hollywood breakthrough, it certainly made an impact. In the book’s opening pages, she writes that she was labeled a “mean baby” by neighborhood kids, and that her heavy brow line as an infant gave her a “judgmental” glower: “I came into this world with my mouth pulled into a perpetual snarl.”

As Blair sheds the labels that have stuck to her throughout her life, she also unburdens herself of weighted perceptions, and settles into a redemptive narrative.

“We are all in search of a story that explains who we are,” Blair writes.

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'Physical attack': Selma Blair, ex-boyfriend file restraining orders against each other

'I can recover': 'Introducing, Selma Blair' star on vulnerability, her health today

Blair talks childhood alcoholism: 'It was always my way out'

In “Mean Baby,” Blair gets excruciatingly candid about the traumatic experiences that have shaped her life, tackling issues such as alcoholism, sexual violence and suicide.

Blair reveals she got “very drunk” during a Passover celebration at the age of 7, laying the groundwork for a pattern of alcohol dependence throughout her youth and adulthood.

“When I drank, I didn’t know what drama I would find, but I knew it was drama that I would feel,” Blair writes. “I needed it. I looked forward to it. It was always my way out.”

Blair illustrates how her alcoholism compromised her sexual autonomy as a young woman, making her acutely vulnerable to the harrowing realities of rape, including a violent rape during a spring break trip in Key West, Florida, when she was in college.

“I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop,’” Blair writes. “It was always awful, and it was always wrong, and I came out of each event quiet and ashamed.”

'I'm having the time of my life': Selma Blair on the lessons of her MS diagnosis, her raw doc

'Always here': Selma Blair shows solidarity with Christina Applegate over multiple sclerosis

Blair brings clarity to her past suicide attempts, showing how these dark episodes belied the emotional distress she was experiencing at the time. During her freshman year of college, Blair said the personal devastation of her then-boyfriend wanting to break up prompted her first suicide attempt.

“I don’t think I wanted to die in that moment,” Blair recalls of the attempt. “I just didn’t want to be in pain anymore.”

Blair would attempt suicide again on her 22nd birthday, after feeling "crushed" that the man she was dating left her for another girl while they were out at a bar. This attempt inspired her to check into an inpatient rehab facility in Michigan, where she benefited from the self-accountability of Alcoholics Anonymous.

“With the introduction of AA, I felt hope for the first time in my life,” Blair reflects. "Back then, when I was unknown, the tools of AA forced rigorous honesty.”

Look back: Selma Blair gives comforting advice amid coronavirus in conversation with Miley Cyrus

'There is no bright light of glamour': Selma Blair shares painful health update

The 'mean baby' makes it in Tinseltown

Although Blair found stardom alongside Sarah Michelle Gellar , Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe in the teen drama “Cruel Intentions,” the actress incisively pulls back the curtain on her Hollywood experiences in “Mean Baby”: from being framed as a potential   physical threat to Drew Barrymore , to biting supermodel Kate Moss in a London hotel suite following a Marc Jacobs show.

And while Blair always saw herself as the “sidekick” instead of the ingenue, she says she found solace in this role, as well as a genuine kinship with her famous peers.

“The truth is, I don’t know that I would fit in elsewhere,” Blair writes. “It’s much easier here, in this setting where people need a bit of a label to be understood.”

'Out of options': Selma Blair on undergoing 'aggressive' chemotherapy to treat MS

More: Selma Blair rocks no hair, no pants photo. With her usual sass, actress defends the pic

Blair also talks about navigating the pitfalls of celebrity during the 2000s, an era notorious for its unforgiving media scrutiny – especially toward young women. Following a “bad” drinking binge, Blair said she checked herself into the Malibu rehab center Promises, coincidentally at the same time Britney Spears was recuperating at the facility (Blair also admits to throwing a pair of Spears' wedged flip-flops in the trash – as a gesture of fashion altruism, of course).

Blair said she tried to keep news of her rehab stint limited to her inner circle.

“I didn’t want to be labeled, as either an addict or depressive, because I worried the stigma could impact my ability to get work,” she writes. “I was in a state of constant terror.”

One of the roles that cemented Blair’s notoriety was Vivian Kensington in the 2001 comedy “Legally Blonde.” Scoring the part was a stroke of good luck, Blair reveals, after the role was initially offered to “Russian Doll” star Chloë Sevigny , who passed. The demure aloofness of this character solidified Blair’s Hollywood label, which itself was an extension of her childhood identity.

“I never had an arsenal of gentle, weightless, girl-next-door glances," Blair writes. " Always the mean baby, I played the girl who was misunderstood and set apart. She is all the women in my life – my mother, my sisters – or a ridiculous child woman making her way. Or all these versions combined.”

Opening up: Selma Blair shows off shaved head in emotional post about multiple sclerosis treatment

Motherhood: Selma Blair thought she was an 'embarrassment' to her son, but he says she's 'brave'

Blair finds 'relief' in MS diagnosis: 'I had a map to follow'

After years of navigating symptoms that were “dismissed as ‘anxiety’ and ‘emotional,’ ” Blair was given a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018, which she says validated her struggles and affirmed her humanity.

“I was overwhelmed by a sense of relief, like the way you feel when an ocean wave breaks right at the shore before taking you under,” Blair writes. “Now I had a map to follow. I had information. A label. This time, one that fit.”

Fully embracing her chronic pain was a breakthrough for Blair, who said she quickly learned as a young child that she “couldn’t show pain, and I certainly couldn’t talk about it,” citing an instance in which her mother made light of a pain she had in her left leg: “To do so would only provoke laughter.”

Blair went public with her MS diagnosis in October 2018, going against the cautious advice of her doctors, who worried that disclosing her condition might diminish her career prospects.

“‘You’re an actress; your body, your voice, it’s all you have,’ ” Blair recalls her doctors telling her at the time.

Look back: Selma Blair growing 'seemingly sicker' from multiple sclerosis, dreams of horseback riding

True friends: Selma Blair shares photo with pal Pink and shares a lesser-known MS symptom

Blair says that while she “can’t be a spokesperson” for every person living with chronic illness, she hopes to “erase the stigma attached to MS, bring increased awareness to those living with disabilities, and help people who are coping with chronic illnesses.

“When it comes to chronic illnesses, there’s a lot of shame in disclosing one’s experiences,” Blair writes. “People judge. People dispute your symptoms. People say things can’t be proven. Let me assure you, this stuff is real.”

The brilliance of “Mean Baby” lies in its bruising honesty and introspection. By providing an unflinching chronology of her personal experiences – triumph, devastation, and all the messy gray areas – Blair offers the reminder that while we may be a patchwork of our social experiences, we always possess the ability to transcend the labels and reclaim the truth of who we are.

“We all have (a story); I carry mine inside me. You carry yours inside you,” Blair writes. “I can hear mine now, in my own voice. Strong and clear. All it took was to stop listening to the stories everyone else told about me.”

If you or someone you know may be struggling with suicidal thoughts, you can call the U.S. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255) any time day or night, or chat online .

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A MEMOIR OF GROWING UP

by Selma Blair ‧ RELEASE DATE: May 17, 2022

A moving and eloquent memoir.

An acclaimed actor reflects on her life, film career, and diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018.

Born outside of Detroit in 1972, Blair earned the nickname “mean baby” for the “judgmental, scrutinizing” expression she wore on her face from the day she was born. In fact, she was a “sensitive soul” who felt judged by others—in particular, her demanding, sometimes-cruel mother. At 7, Blair developed a taste for alcohol at a family Passover celebration and drank in secret after that, reveling in the feeling of “safety” alcohol gave her. She also suffered awful abuse. “I have been raped, multiple times,” she writes, “because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’ ” A troubled teen, she continued to take refuge in drinking but also discovered a passion for literature and drama. After a suicide attempt in college, Blair found her footing in acting. She moved to New York City, where, after a year of struggle, she found an agent and landed her first movie role. Drinking and toxic relationships took their tolls, and she entered rehab in Michigan before moving to Los Angeles. An unexpected invitation to play a role in the 1999 film Cruel Intentions  brought her fame. However, the binge-drinking continued, as did a series of unhealthy relationships (one of which turned into a short-lived marriage) and mysterious pains that racked her body. “I could feel it growing and spreading,” she writes, “but I had no idea what it was.” Single motherhood helped her curb drinking, but her fatigue and neuralgia intensified. A lifelong spiritual seeker who sought out psychics to help her make sense of her life, Blair finally received an answer to explain the physical roots of her pain: multiple sclerosis. Though the narrative occasionally meanders, the author offers a sharp, memorable account of her roles as celebrity and MS advocate that will have wide appeal to both fans and general readers alike.

Pub Date: May 17, 2022

ISBN: 978-0-525-65949-5

Page Count: 336

Publisher: Knopf

Review Posted Online: May 16, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: June 15, 2022

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | HEALTH & FITNESS | SELF-HELP | ENTERTAINMENT, SPORTS & CELEBRITY | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR

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New York Times Bestseller

by Stephanie Johnson & Brandon Stanton illustrated by Henry Sene Yee ‧ RELEASE DATE: July 12, 2022

A blissfully vicarious, heartfelt glimpse into the life of a Manhattan burlesque dancer.

A former New York City dancer reflects on her zesty heyday in the 1970s.

Discovered on a Manhattan street in 2020 and introduced on Stanton’s Humans of New York Instagram page, Johnson, then 76, shares her dynamic history as a “fiercely independent” Black burlesque dancer who used the stage name Tanqueray and became a celebrated fixture in midtown adult theaters. “I was the only black girl making white girl money,” she boasts, telling a vibrant story about sex and struggle in a bygone era. Frank and unapologetic, Johnson vividly captures aspects of her former life as a stage seductress shimmying to blues tracks during 18-minute sets or sewing lingerie for plus-sized dancers. Though her work was far from the Broadway shows she dreamed about, it eventually became all about the nightly hustle to simply survive. Her anecdotes are humorous, heartfelt, and supremely captivating, recounted with the passion of a true survivor and the acerbic wit of a weathered, street-wise New Yorker. She shares stories of growing up in an abusive household in Albany in the 1940s, a teenage pregnancy, and prison time for robbery as nonchalantly as she recalls selling rhinestone G-strings to prostitutes to make them sparkle in the headlights of passing cars. Complemented by an array of revealing personal photographs, the narrative alternates between heartfelt nostalgia about the seedier side of Manhattan’s go-go scene and funny quips about her unconventional stage performances. Encounters with a variety of hardworking dancers, drag queens, and pimps, plus an account of the complexities of a first love with a drug-addled hustler, fill out the memoir with personality and candor. With a narrative assist from Stanton, the result is a consistently titillating and often moving story of human struggle as well as an insider glimpse into the days when Times Square was considered the Big Apple’s gloriously unpolished underbelly. The book also includes Yee’s lush watercolor illustrations.

Pub Date: July 12, 2022

ISBN: 978-1-250-27827-2

Page Count: 192

Publisher: St. Martin's

Review Posted Online: July 27, 2022

BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR | ENTERTAINMENT, SPORTS & CELEBRITY | GENERAL BIOGRAPHY & MEMOIR

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by Brandon Stanton photographed by Brandon Stanton

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LOVE, PAMELA

by Pamela Anderson ‧ RELEASE DATE: Jan. 31, 2023

A juicy story with some truly crazy moments, yet Anderson's good heart shines through.

The iconic model tells the story of her eventful life.

According to the acknowledgments, this memoir started as "a fifty-page poem and then grew into hundreds of pages of…more poetry." Readers will be glad that Anderson eventually turned to writing prose, since the well-told anecdotes and memorable character sketches are what make it a page-turner. The poetry (more accurately described as italicized notes-to-self with line breaks) remains strewn liberally through the pages, often summarizing the takeaway or the emotional impact of the events described: "I was / and still am / an exceptionally / easy target. / And, / I'm proud of that ." This way of expressing herself is part of who she is, formed partly by her passion for Anaïs Nin and other writers; she is a serious maven of literature and the arts. The narrative gets off to a good start with Anderson’s nostalgic memories of her childhood in coastal Vancouver, raised by very young, very wild, and not very competent parents. Here and throughout the book, the author displays a remarkable lack of anger. She has faced abuse and mistreatment of many kinds over the decades, but she touches on the most appalling passages lightly—though not so lightly you don't feel the torment of the media attention on the events leading up to her divorce from Tommy Lee. Her trip to the pages of Playboy , which involved an escape from a violent fiance and sneaking across the border, is one of many jaw-dropping stories. In one interesting passage, Julian Assange's mother counsels Anderson to desexualize her image in order to be taken more seriously as an activist. She decided that “it was too late to turn back now”—that sexy is an inalienable part of who she is. Throughout her account of this kooky, messed-up, enviable, and often thrilling life, her humility (her sons "are true miracles, considering the gene pool") never fails her.

Pub Date: Jan. 31, 2023

ISBN: 9780063226562

Page Count: 256

Publisher: Dey Street/HarperCollins

Review Posted Online: Dec. 5, 2022

Kirkus Reviews Issue: Jan. 1, 2023

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The Inkblotters

A writer's lifestyle blog, book review: mean baby: a memoir of growing up by selma blair.

Selma Blair writes her way through her pain.

Order On Amazon!

Release Date: May 17,2022

Publisher: Knopf

Price: $19.85 (hardcover)

PLOT SUMMARY:

The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention.   Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. She often felt like her arms might be on fire, a sensation not unlike electric shocks, and she secretly drank to escape.   Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, devastating memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is brutal violence, passionate love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood, and, finally, the surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis.   In a voice that is powerfully original, fiercely intelligent, and full of hard-won wisdom, Selma Blair’s  Mean Baby  is a deeply human memoir and a true literary achievement. 

Memoirs are a tricky thing, they can either be fascinating or they can fall short. I’ve watched several movies that Blair has been in, and just as though she felt like an outsider looking in when it came to Hollywood, the same can be said of the characters she has portrayed. Initially, I bought this memoir as an attempt to better understand the illness (MS) that has afflicted both a friend of mine and Blair. But as I tried to relate with my friend, I discovered that there was so much that I could relate with Blair. There are dark moments in Blair’s life that one wouldn’t readily imagine considering the positive image I personally had of her and wasn’t aware of the amount of darkness she actually had for many years.

She talks about heavy topics like alcoholism, suicide, and sexual assault. Her writing is honest, raw, and never tries to sugar coat even the worst moments. But the memoir isn’t only about darkness, but rather finding the light in the dark, and there are a lot of fun 90’s anecdotes. Blair talks about the time she convinced Ryan Phillippe and Reese Witherspoon that she was indeed friends with Puff Daddy as a way to impress them, or how she used to greet people with a bite until Kate Moss bit her back and made her lose the quirky habit.

There’s a lot to unpack in this memoir, and I recommend it, especially if you like reading about a time in Hollywood when actors still had an air of mystery to them prior to social media and the internet. Blair is an inspiring role model of fortitude and persistence, and I look forward to reading any of her future books.

Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up

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Mean Baby by Selma Blair: Trite insights into a difficult but privileged life

Book review: actor’s memoir reads like a first draft outpouring from start to finish.

Selma Blair is known for her roles in Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde and Hellboy. Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

The first thing to say about Mean Baby by Selma Blair is that it would not have been published if it hadn’t been written by a celebrity. The second is that it was clearly written by Blair and not a ghostwriter. The third is to wonder about the editorial process, which seems to a critical eye to be largely non-existent, in a book that reads like a first draft outpouring from start to finish, with little refinement throughout.

Blair is an American actor known for her roles in Cruel Intentions, Legally Blonde and Hellboy. Her biography states that she was named a Time Person of the Year in 2017 as one of their Silence Breakers in the #MeToo movement, though there is no mention of this in the memoir. She is also the subject of the recent documentary, Introducing, Selma Blair (2021), which charts her life following a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis in 2018.

Subtitled A Memoir of Growing Up, Mean Baby is structured – and I use that word loosely – into three parts, Signs, Questions, Answers, with titled chapters that give an idea of the scattergun approach of the narrative: I, Selma, Elliot Again, Split/Screen, Brigadoon, Ducky Manor. On the face of it, there is plenty of interesting, important material. A complex mother-daughter relationship, a father who seems more like an arch-nemesis, a long battle with alcoholism, sexual assault, the highs and lows of Hollywood, tumultuous celebrity romances, the hardship of living with MS.

But while these subjects are repeatedly referred to, they are rarely scrutinised, as if Blair has confused reiteration with depth. The repetitions slow the narrative; there is little in the way of momentum. Part of this is explained by Blair’s arrested development, how she keeps repeating the same mistakes as the years go by. The tone can be self-pitying and there is the overarching sense that the author lacks perspective on much of what she’s discussing – at least, that’s how it comes across on the page. Questions such as, “Can you believe it?”, or multiple exclamation points within a single paragraph to highlight perceived injustices, attempt to get the reader on board but instead work to alienate us from the anecdotes of a difficult, privileged upbringing.

The book is all tell, very little show, full of feelings with a capital F: “He had a lock on her insecurities and could be critical...She was truly stunning...I was shook. Devastated. Crushed. In my acute panic, I rushed to self-destruction.” Here’s a summary of her first date with the fashion designer Jason Bleick (father to her son Arthur), who took her to a gallery that turned out to be closed: “He was stricken, mortified. Stunned.” Really?

Elsewhere, in irksome flash forwards, her MS is blamed for all sorts of erratic behaviour in the past. Getting ready for a Bottega Veneta party thrown in the early days of Mad Men, Blair downs shots on an empty stomach. Later, she has a drunken encounter with January Jones: “I figured it was because I hadn’t eaten and the alcohol amplified everything. Now I see it was the MS.” What about the possibility that it was all three? Similar back-dated logic is applied to a host of other situations and relationships throughout.

On the positive side the celebrity titbits enliven proceedings – Jones is funny and courteous, Kate Moss returns a bite from Blair, Karl Lagerfeld designs her wedding dress, Carrie Fisher lends her house as a venue, then turns up late to the ceremony. Blair is at her best when writing about her experiences of rejection as an actor. In a neat twist she gets her big break in Cruel Intentions by playing up the “mean baby” tag she was branded with as an infant. Occasionally, the celebrity stories bring moments of hilarity, possibly unintentional, as when she notes of the famous kiss scene with Sarah Michelle Gellar in that same movie, “I wasn’t attracted to girls, but I did enjoy the soft, whisker-free lips of SMG on mine”.

Other successes in Mean Baby include candid descriptions about life with MS, and the portrayal of Blair’s mother as, by turns, clever, callous, caring. Her vanity and desperation as she ages are particularly well done, like a real-life Blanche du Bois – “‘I look best in low lighting,’ she would say” – and the way in which this negatively impacts Blair’s own self-image is clear.

Too often however, the insights are trite, related in language that is pedestrian, hackneyed or sometimes (as with this description of Drew Barrymore) downright nonsensical: “But I count my lucky stars, the famous star is the dearest Drew.” Mean Baby is the story of a woman who wanted all her life to know what was wrong with her, but by the book’s end, this mean reviewer feels that the mystery remains largely unsolved.

Sarah Gilmartin

Sarah Gilmartin is a contributor to The Irish Times focusing on books and the wider arts

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BOSTON'S PREMIER ONLINE ARTS MAGAZINE

Book Review: Selma Blair’s “Mean Baby” — Genuine Self-Reflection

By Henry Chandonnet

Actress and MS advocate Selma Blair’s memoir is not just another celebrity tell-all, filled with smarmy self-congratulation.

Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up by Selma Blair. Knopf, 303 pp, $30.

Those who ask “who is Selma Blair?” are not alone. In fact, Blair recognizes that her notoriety comes from supporting roles. Her industry cred lies in her “second on the call sheet” resumé. Blair writes, “My career was on the rise, but I had a hunch I was not going to be a leading lady. I was a supporting player. That was who I knew how to be.” You probably know her biggest hits. Blair played Cecile Caldwell in the iconic ’90s teen drama Cruel Intentions , an Upper East Side adaptation of Pierre Choderlos de Laclos’s Les Liaisons Dangereuses . That movie also launched a friendship between Blair and Reese Witherspoon, a bond that would bring her to her next famed project, playing Vivian Kensington in Legally Blonde . Blair also starred in Guillermo del Toro’s fantastical Hellboy II , and was the first actress to grace the cover of Italian Vogue . Now, Blair spends most of her time working as a public advocate for those suffering from multiple sclerosis (MS).

Blair boasts a prolific resumé of Hollywood experience, but most of Mean Baby centers on her personal life and trials. The book’s subtitle underlies this: “a memoir of growing up.” Blair investigates her childhood in significant detail, touching on her problematic relationship with her mother, early alcoholism, and the trauma of sexual assaults. Blair never wallows in the pain, writing with the poise and grace it takes to remain emotionally distanced. For example, here she reflects on her rape: “I wish I could say what happened to me that night was an anomaly, an isolated incident. But it wasn’t. I didn’t think of them as traumas. I have been raped, multiple times, because I was too drunk to say the words ‘Please. Stop.’” These words are shocking because there is no attempt at self-pity. This is not a “woe is me” tale in which a horrid childhood and adolescence is gloriously overcome with fame as the reward. Blair’s writing is reflective rather than melodramatic. This is an instructive meditation on mistakes made.

Blair is so good at writing about personal strife that the industry tittle-tattle portion is surprisingly lackluster. This is ironic, given that juicy showbiz stories are the reasons many readers pick up celebrity memoirs. What was Reese Witherspoon like, or Carrie Fisher? The stories here are welcome, but they lack the depth and complexity of Blair’s self-examination. She is much better at analyzing herself than others. Luckily, the Hollywood tales only make up a short section in Mean Baby , and Blair soon turns back to her personal life and relationships. Once the book moves on to describe Blair’s journey through motherhood and an MS diagnosis the narrative becomes stronger.

Throughout Mean Baby , Blair references her lifelong love for the writing of Joan Didion, and that influence might offer a key to the memoir’s power. Like The Year of Magical Thinking , this is a skillfully restrained evaluation of agonizing intimate experiences. Maybe she hasn’t “conquered” her traumas, but Blair has articulated them clearly and cleanly, and that in itself is a kind of triumph.

Henry Chandonnet is a current student at Tufts University double majoring in English and Political Science with a minor in Economics. He serves as Arts Editor for The Tufts Daily, the preeminent campus publication. Henry’s work may also be seen in Film Cred, Dread Central, and Flip Screen. You can reach out to him at [email protected], or follow him on Twitter @HenryChandonnet.

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The Bookish Ashley

Writer, Bookworm, Homebody

Mean Baby by Selma Blair Book Review

Mean Baby is a powerful memoir by Selma Blair that takes readers on a journey of self-discovery, addiction, love, and redemption. As a Hollywood actress and model, Blair’s life may seem glamorous, but this book shows a different side of her that is raw, vulnerable, and honest.

Blair tells her story with a strong voice that is both compelling and authentic. She writes about her childhood, where she was known for being a mean baby, and her teenage years, where she struggled with alcohol addiction. Blair’s journey of self-discovery is a captivating read that is both heartbreaking and inspiring.

One of the things I appreciate about this book is that it sheds light on addiction and mental health issues, and how they can affect even the most successful people. Blair’s honesty and vulnerability in discussing her struggles are a reminder that we all have our battles to fight.

Blair’s writing style is engaging, and she has a way of drawing readers into her story. Her descriptions are vivid, and I could easily visualize the scenes she was describing. I also appreciated the humor she brought to the book, which helped balance out some of the more difficult topics she addresses.

Overall, “Mean Baby” is a fantastic memoir that I highly recommend. Selma Blair’s story is an important reminder of the importance of self-care, mental health, and the power of perseverance. This book is a true literary achievement and a must-read for anyone looking for an inspiring and thought-provoking memoir.

I give “Mean Baby” 4/5 stars .

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Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up

Selma Blair has played many roles: Ingenue in  Cruel Intentions . Preppy ice queen in  Legally Blonde . Muse to Karl Lagerfeld. Advocate for the multiple sclerosis community. But before all of that, Selma was known best as … a mean baby. In a memoir that is as wildly funny as it is emotionally shattering, Blair tells the captivating story of growing up and finding her truth.             

"Blair is a rebel, an artist, and it turns out: a writer." —Glennon Doyle, Author of the #1  New York Times  Bestseller  Untamed  and Founder of Together Rising The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention.   Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. She often felt like her arms might be on fire, a sensation not unlike electric shocks, and she secretly drank to escape.   Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, devasting memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is brutal violence, passionate love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood, and, finally, the surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis.   In a voice that is powerfully original, fiercely intelligent, and full of hard-won wisdom, Selma Blair’s  Mean Baby  is a deeply human memoir and a true literary achievement.

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Ada Limón Won’t Let Prose Touch the Poetry on Her Shelves

“I mean that as an organizing principle,” says the U.S. poet laureate, who has edited a new anthology of nature poetry called “You Are Here,” “and also as a slight against prose.”

Credit... Rebecca Clarke

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What books are on your night stand?

My night stand doesn’t speak to me anymore. That’s because, here’s the truth: I don’t read at night. The night stand is where books go to die. I think that I’ll read something before bed and then I immediately fall asleep, so the real question is, what books are on my desk? Right now that’s “Eve,” by Cat Bohannon; “Martyr!,” by Kaveh Akbar; Mosab Abu Toha’s “Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear”; “You Can Be the Last Leaf,” by Maya Abu Al-Hayyat; and an advance copy of “The Backyard Bird Chronicles,” by Amy Tan.

How do you organize your books?

I put them in piles during my busy travel months, then I cry and stomp when the piles feel unwieldy, and then my husband ponders if I should get rid of a few, but I will not do that, and then, very methodically I alphabetize them. I also separate them by genres. Prose cannot touch poetry in my little world. And I mean that as an organizing principle and also as a slight against prose.

Describe your ideal reading experience (when, where, what, how).

I’d be reading a book in some sun-filled spot outside, while knowing every human being is safe, cared for, fed, beloved, and all wars have ended. And in our new manifested world that celebrates humanity, interconnectedness, nature and peace, I can sit outside under the oak trees and savor every line of a poem. And the music of the poem will sing back to the music of the world. That’s my ideal reading experience.

Are you able to write outside, in nature, or only at a desk?

I love writing outside. When I’m home in Kentucky, I write on my screened-in porch, that is if it’s warm enough. I love to fill the feeder and watch the birds in between writing lines of poems. Through the years, I’ve trained myself to write anywhere. Planes, hotel rooms — anywhere, really. Though it helps if there is silence. Or sounds of nature.

How did you decide whom to commission for the new anthology?

I chose the poets that I knew had recently been working in interesting ways with the subject of nature. I feel so lucky with the final collection. It’s even more powerful than I imagined.

Did anyone say no? What reason did they give?

There were exactly four poets that said no. They are all wonderful writers who were torn in too many directions by the demands of life to produce something new for the anthology. Life doesn’t always allow writers to write.

Did you line-edit or advise on specific language choices?

Along with the wonderful editor (and poet) Bailey Hutchinson, I went through each poem and made a few minor suggestions. For the most part, just gentle nudges here and there. All of these poets are excellent and sent in gorgeous, complete poems.

“A place I love is about to disappear,” one poem begins. Did you expect the collection to be so melancholy?

I don’t think the book is melancholy at all. The word “melancholy” often infers no obvious cause, just a general sort of sadness. That’s not present in this book. I do think it’s full of solastalgia, which is defined as the “distress caused by environmental change,” and I also think the book is full of an urgent praise, the way you can love something so dearly because it’s leaving or changing.

What’s the last book that made you cry?

“Praisesong for the Kitchen Ghosts” by Crystal Wilkinson is a cookbook and a memoir combined that celebrates generations of Black women in Appalachia. Wilkinson always has a way of saying it true and making me weep.

Do you count any books as guilty pleasures?

Oh yes, Anne Rice was a great guilty pleasure of mine. All things vampires and witches, anything with magic. What a gift those books were for me as a teenager. In some ways they were as foundational as some of the canonical books I read in school.

What’s the most interesting thing you learned from a poem in this volume?

One wonderful thing I learned about was from Aimee Nezhukumatathil’s poem, “Heliophilia”: Rhubarb makes a wild popping or crackling noise when it grows in the dark. Now I’ve seen videos of this occurrence and I love it. We have yet to truly understand the language of plants.

Did any of the poems make you want to travel to their settings?

Many: Victoria Chang’s poem set in Alaska, for example, and the desert landscape poems by Eduardo C. Corral and Rigoberto González. But for the most part the poems make me want to pay attention to wherever I am right now, to look deeply at what’s around me, and not miss it.

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‘Baby Reindeer’ Review: Richard Gadd’s Dark Comedy Dives Deep into the Nightmare of Obsession

I would find it disrespectful to Richard Gadd to summarise Baby Reindeer in a few words. It’s a highly deceptive series that proposes a premise of a down-in-luck and aspiring stand-up comedian who finds himself systematically harassed by an obsessive stalker. It’s embedded as a dark comedy, but by the time I reached the pivotal halfway point, it was more dark than laughs.

Baby Reindeer Has a Deeper Meaning and Lasting Impact

And so here is some advice to the audience who are about to delve into this Netflix series: no matter where you are in the story, always cast your minds back to when Donny (Gadd) meets his seemingly innocent stalker, Martha (Jessica Gunning) for the first time. Richard Gadd had a mission in mind when writing this wide-scoped series. It is based on a true story about his own experiences , after all. This is not a one-and-done series; it’s a spoken memoir detailing a horrifying phase in the creator’s life.

I hate to be dramatic, but Baby Reindeer is not a series that comes by often, and it should be handled with care. Gadd has his DNA all over it. He understands that he’s nakedly revealing a dark place in his mind, bringing a common theme in this universe: you attract who you are. If you are a loathing, lonely, toxic, and trauma-dumping individual, then you are likely to attract the same. It reminds me of Dan Pena bullishly telling his supporters, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Baby Reindeer is the living manifestation of that idea.

The Premise Cannot Be Simply Summarized

And you are probably thinking, “What the hell is this story about?” That’s where I become stuck because multiple narratives change the entire story by the finale, yet it’s a reasonable question. If I told you that Donny suffers constant harassment from his stalker, and it dismantles his ability to live properly, and it gets worse over time, then I’d be kind of right but also sort of wrong. Baby Reindeer is deeply layered, with many swerving nuances that will catch you off guard.

Once the comedy of the stalking wears off, the series becomes a personality analysis, slicing away at Donny’s life.

While it’s based on Gadd’s experiences, I think he cleverly made his foretelling metaphorical, which is refreshingly smart. I’d argue that Martha represents a demon, playing out all of Donny’s wants and desires, tapping into his insecurities, and unraveling his past.

I must forewarn readers that Baby Reindeer surprisingly holds episodes that are frankly shocking and unexpected. Episode 4 especially comes with a stern warning. The context is refreshing and elevates the series, but I was stunned by the details presented. Richard Gadd openly puts his life into this story and deserves applause.

The performances are well choreographed, too. Gad and Jessica Gunning do a sublime job of capturing the misplaced, confusing chemistry between a stalker and a victim. Gad clearly understood that most people do not understand the experience of being stalked, so it’s unsurprising that the relationship between the main characters is complex, misguided, and frustrating.

Baby Reindeer is a limited series for all the right reasons. It serves its purpose by the finale . It provokes its viewers. It catches you off guard by mixing comedy with overwhelming darkness. It’s a hidden gem and a shiny one at that.

More Baby Reinder:

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Article by Daniel Hart

Daniel is the co-founder of Ready Steady Cut and has served as Editor-in-Chief since 2017. Since then, Dan has been at the top of his game by ensuring that we only produce and upload content of exceptional quality and that we’re up to date with the latest additions to the streaming and entertainment world.

Virgin River Season 5 Part 2 Ending Explained - Are Lizzie and Denny having a girl or a boy?

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Mean baby: a memoir of growing up audible audiobook – unabridged.

NEW YORK TIMES BEST SELLER Selma Blair has played many roles: Ingenue in Cruel Intentions . Preppy ice queen in Legally Blonde . Muse to Karl Lagerfeld. Advocate for the multiple sclerosis community. But before all of that, Selma was known best as … a mean baby. In a memoir that is as wildly funny as it is emotionally shattering, Blair tells the captivating story of growing up and finding her truth.

"Blair is a rebel, an artist, and it turns out: a writer." —Glennon Doyle, Author of the #1 New York Times Bestseller Untamed and Founder of Together Rising

The first story Selma Blair Beitner ever heard about herself is that she was a mean, mean baby. With her mouth pulled in a perpetual snarl and a head so furry it had to be rubbed to make way for her forehead, Selma spent years living up to her terrible reputation: biting her sisters, lying spontaneously, getting drunk from Passover wine at the age of seven, and behaving dramatically so that she would be the center of attention.

Although Selma went on to become a celebrated Hollywood actress and model, she could never quite shake the periods of darkness that overtook her, the certainty that there was a great mystery at the heart of her life. She often felt like her arms might be on fire, a sensation not unlike electric shocks, and she secretly drank to escape.

Over the course of this beautiful and, at times, devasting memoir, Selma lays bare her addiction to alcohol, her devotion to her brilliant and complicated mother, and the moments she flirted with death. There is brutal violence, passionate love, true friendship, the gift of motherhood, and, finally, the surprising salvation of a multiple sclerosis diagnosis.

In a voice that is powerfully original, fiercely intelligent, and full of hard-won wisdom, Selma Blair’s Mean Baby is a deeply human memoir and a true literary achievement.

• Listening Length 9 hours and 43 minutes
• Author Selma Blair
• Narrator Selma Blair
• Audible release date May 17, 2022
• Language English
• Publisher Random House Audio
• ASIN B09JTXLZHH
• Version Unabridged
• Program Type Audiobook
• See all details

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