personal essay on parenting style

Personal Experience of Child: Parenting Styles

It is a well-known fact that parenting choices exert an enormous impact on the future life of children. The behavior of parents towards children can fall into four categories or parenting styles. The current essay reflects my own childhood experience regarding the parenting style my parents tend to follow. In the present paper, I focus on how my parents raised me and how it affected me.

To focus on my personal experience in terms of parenting style, it is essential to provide a brief overview of what styles exist and the difference between them. According to Diana Baumrind’s research, there are four main parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglectful (Milbrand, 2019). The first type – authoritarian parents follow a strict way of behavior towards their children. They set rigid rules in terms of every aspect of a child’s daily routine and expect them to follow them without any negotiations. Children are not allowed to make their own choices and receive immediate punishment for breaking the rules.

Authoritative parenting style – the second type – implies that parents set rules and boundaries for their children but provide them with more freedom. It is done in order to teach them to make their own choices and take responsibility for that (Milbrand, 2019). The third type – permissive parenting style – is different from authoritarian and authoritative styles. Permissive parents have friendship-like relationships with their children, do not impose plenty of limits, and support children’s wishes. The last type – neglectful parents – do not set any rules and borders at all. Moreover, they do not participate in their children’s life (Power, 2013). In such families, children are left for themselves since early childhood.

Concerning my personal experience, both of my parents tend to follow the authoritative parenting style. My mother and my father set clear rules for my daily routine. I had to wake up at a specific time and go to bed. Moreover, I was obliged to do my homework, join extracurricular activities, and be polite with others. My parents formulated strict rules for me, but they always explained why they expect me to do specific actions and benefit from them. Furthermore, I should say that they always provide me with the freedom to make my own decisions and mistakes. For instance, they never decide what course, hobby, or friends I have to choose. I can ask for their advice, but the final decision always remains with me.

I believe that my parents have chosen the right path following the authoritative parenting style. Their nurture made me a responsible and independent person who respects rules and borders but, at the same time, can be free because of them. I am confident that this parenting style is a perfect combination of love, rules, and support. Moreover, I suppose that their choice of parenting style helped us establish a warm and trusting relationship. Concerning my future family, I plan to raise my children the same way my parents did. I am sure that the authoritative parenting style will allow me to make my children being responsible and, at the same time, to show my love and support to them.

In conclusion, it should be said that there are four major parenting styles, including authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and neglect. Both my mother and father tend to follow the authoritative style. They set clear and simple rules but, at the same time, allowed me to make my own decisions and take responsibility for it. Today I feel grateful for their choice, as I can describe myself as confident, responsible, and independent. I am sure that in the future, I choose the same style when raising my children.

Milbrand, L. (2019). How 4 different parenting styles can affect your kids. The Bump. 

Power, T. G. (2013). Parenting dimensions and styles: A brief history and recommendations for future research. Childhood Obesity, 9:14-21.

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What Is Your Parenting Style, and Why Does It Matter?

From authoritarian to authoritative, permissive to neglectful, we're breaking down different types of parenting styles. Which one do you practice? 

Authoritarian Parenting

Permissive parenting, authoritative parenting, neglectful or uninvolved parenting, sub-types of parenting styles.

Your parenting style can affect everything from your child's self-esteem to their academic success. It's important to ensure your parenting style supports healthy growth and development because the way you interact with your child—and how you discipline them— will influence them for the rest of their life. 

Researchers have identified four main types of parenting styles that take a unique approach to raising children:

• Authoritarian
• Authoritative

People often want to know which parenting style they're using, and which one is the best overall. The truth is that there's no one right way to parent, but the general parenting style that most experts, including the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), recommend is an authoritative approach.

Read on to learn the difference between these four major parenting styles, with information about popular subtypes like helicopter parenting, free-range parenting, tiger parenting, and more.

Baumrind's Four Parenting Styles

In the 1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three distinct parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive—based on parental demands and responsiveness to children. A fourth style, neglectful, was added later based on work by other researchers.

Do any of these statements sound like you?

• You believe kids should be seen and not heard.
• When it comes to rules, you believe it's "my way or the highway."
• You don't take your child's feelings into consideration.
• You've uttered the words "because I said so" when a child questions the reasons behind a rule.

If any of those ring true, you might be an authoritarian parent. The authoritarian style of parenting focuses on strict rules, obedience, and discipline. These parents have high expectations, and they don't hesitate to punish when children don't follow their guidelines.

Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter. Similar to an army drill sergeant, authoritarian parents are not nurturing, lenient, or communicable. They make the rules and enforce the consequences with little regard for a child's opinion.

How authoritarian parenting affects children

When raised by an authoritarian parent, children are often well-behaved at home, but they may rebel when with classmates or friends. Kids may also struggle with the following:

• Social skills
• Indecisiveness and trouble thinking on their own
• Low self-esteem
• Poor judge of character
• Anger management and resentfulness
• Hostility and aggression

Some research also indicates that children whose parents were authoritarian reported more substance use and higher instances of depression.

• You set rules but rarely enforce them.
• You don't give out consequences very often.
• You think your child will learn best with little interference from you.
• You let your children do what they want—even if it's drinking soda at every meal.

If those statements sound familiar, you might practice permissive parenting . Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there's a serious problem. They're quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of "kids will be kids." Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.

Permissive parents cater to their children's needs without giving out much discipline . When they do use consequences, they may not stick. For example, they'll give privileges back if a child begs, or they may allow a child to get out of time-out early if they promise to be good. Permissive parents are the total opposite of strict.

How permissive parenting affects children

Since they have a high standing in the household, children of permissive parents are accustomed to getting whatever they want. They may exhibit more behavioral problems as they don't appreciate authority and rules.

Other downsides of the permissive parenting style can include:

• Lack of responsibility
• Difficulty with decision-making
• Impulsiveness and aggressiveness
• Lack of independence and personal responsibility
• Anxiety and depression
• Academic struggles

Kids who are parented permissively often act entitled, egocentric, and selfish. These children might also fail to put effort into school, work, or social endeavors since they don't have to put in any effort at home.

Additionally, kids raised by permissive parents are at a higher risk for health problems, like obesity , because permissive parents struggle to limit unhealthy food intake or promote regular exercise or healthy sleep habits. They're more likely to have dental cavities because permissive parents often don't enforce good habits, like ensuring a child brushes their teeth.

The "Gold Standard" Parenting Style

Experts consider authoritative parenting to be the most developmentally healthy and effective parenting style. Research has found kids who have authoritative parents are most likely to become confident, responsible adults who feel comfortable self-advocating and expressing their opinions and feelings.

• You put a lot of effort into creating and maintaining a positive relationship with your child.
• You explain the reasons behind your rules.
• You set limits, enforce rules, and give consequences, but also consider your child's feelings. 
• You use positive discipline strategies such as praise and rewards.

If those statements sound familiar, you might practice authoritative parenting , which is considered to be the "gold standard" parenting style. Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.

With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children's feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge. They invest time and energy into preventing behavior problems before they start. They also use positive discipline strategies , like praise and reward systems, to reinforce positive behavior.

Authoritative parents view mistakes as a learning experience, and they have clear expectations for their children. They're nurturing and warm, yet they instill the importance of responsibility and discipline.

How authoritative parenting affects children

Children raised with authoritative parenting tend to be happy, confident, and successful. They're also more likely to make sound decisions and evaluate safety risks on their own. Authoritative parenting is linked to academic achievement, heightened self-esteem, and resiliency.

Kids with authoritative parents tend to have the following positive outcomes:

• Close, nurturing relationships with parents
• Tendency to be responsible and respectful
• Ability to manage their aggression
• High degrees of self-esteem, self-confidence , and self-regulation
• More likely to be happy and successful
• Ability to clearly express their emotions

Kids who are parented authoritatively can be trusted to make the right decision on their own, and they often set high expectations for themselves. These children may also perform well academically and socially, and they're less likely to misuse drugs or alcohol.

Do any of these statements sound familiar?

• You don't ask your child about school or homework.
• You rarely know where your child is or who they're with.
• You don't spend much time with your child.
• You don't have many rules and expectations.

If those statements sound familiar, you might be an uninvolved or neglectful parent. Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention. They don't set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.

Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don't devote much time or energy to meeting children's basic needs. At times, uninvolved parents lack knowledge about child development—or they may believe that their child will do better without their oversight.

Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it's not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child's physical or emotional needs consistently.

How uninvolved parenting affects children

Without any guidance, structure, or parental involvement, children of neglectful parents often act out. Research has found that kids with uninvolved parents have the worst outcomes, and they're more likely to experience the following:

• Substance use
• Rebelliousness
• Delinquency (vandalism, assault, rape, petty theft)
• Lower cognitive and emotional empathy
• Diminished self-esteem

Children of uninvolved parents might, for example, get in trouble at school or with the law. In addition, they might hesitate to form bonds with other people and exhibit depression. Academic performance and social competence often suffer.

Getty Images / Shaw Photography Co.

Of course, there are plenty of parenting style subtypes, including the following

Free-range parenting

Helicopter parenting, snowplow parenting, lighthouse parenting, attachment parenting, tiger parenting.

Free-range parents give their children the independence of being less supervised or unsupervised in public. For a long time, parents who practiced this style were considered neglectful, and many thought they endangered their kids.

But more recently (and after much debate) states like Utah passed laws in favor of the hands-off parenting style. Specifically, Utah changed the definition of neglect so it doesn't include certain independent childhood activities like walking to school and playing outside. Proponents say it can instill amazing qualities like self-sufficiency and resilience.

If you're an overprotective parent who feels the need to control most aspects of your child's life, you likely fit the bill of a helicopter parent . Helicopter parents constantly intervene in their kid's life, and they obsess about successes and failures.

The risk-assessing tendencies of helicopter parents are often driven by fear and anxiety. Parents who intervene in this way can hinder a child's ability to learn integral life skills, confidence, and self-sufficiency. Research by the American Psychological Association found that kids who experience helicopter parenting are less likely to be able to manage their emotions and behavior.

Snowplow parents (also known as lawnmower or bulldozer parents) are willing to drop everything to fulfill their child's wants and demands, no matter how small. They essentially "plow down" anything standing in their child's way.

These types of parents often have good intentions and don't want their children to experience struggle. However, their habits don't provide a foundation for long-term happiness, and they can worsen a child's anxiety about failure. An extreme example of snowplow parenting involves the college admissions scandal , where numerous high-profile celebrity parents were convicted of bribing colleges to admit their children.

One of the more balanced methods of parenting, the lighthouse approach was coined by pediatrician and author Kenneth Ginsburg, MD. In his book, Raising Kids to Thrive: Balancing Love With Expectations and Protection With Trust, Dr. Ginsburg writes: "We should be like lighthouses for our children. Stable beacons of light on the shoreline from which they can measure themselves against."

The lighthouse parenting style involves finding the perfect balance between loving, protecting, communicating, and nurturing your child. Parents seek to guide and support their children, much like a lighthouse does.

Attachment parenting involves a nurturing and hands-on approach. These parents think that putting a child's needs first leads to independence and emotional stability. Parents who follow this style value physical closeness, bed-sharing and co-sleeping, extended breastfeeding , positive discipline, and other attachment-based approaches to raising children.

A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found an association between sensitive-responsive parenting and children’s language skills. Specifically, kids of parents with higher levels of responsiveness and warmth had more than two times better language skills than children whose parents were less responsive. On the other hand, this parenting style is demanding and can sometimes feel out of balance when parents are less flexible in their approach.

Often displaying rigid and harsh characteristics, tiger parents expect obedience and success. This term gained mainstream attention due to Amy Chua's book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom , where she describes tiger parenting as an authoritarian method commonly used in Chinese culture.

Some research has found a correlation between tiger parenting and anxiety in children , possibly due to their parent's high demands and constant expectations for perfection.

Additional reporting by Amy Morin, LCSW  

Parenting and Boundary Setting: Pediatric Mental Health Minute Series . American Academy of Pediatrics .

Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept .  J Child Fam Stud. 2019.

Psychosocial consequences of parenting .  IOSR J Hum Soc Sci . 2016.

Types of Parenting Styles and Effects On Children .  StatPearls  [Internet]. Updated 2022.

Role of parenting styles in adolescent substance use: results from a Swedish longitudinal cohort study . BMJ Open.  2016.

Authoritarian parenting and youth depression: Results from a national study .  Journal of Prevention & Intervention in the Community.  2016.

Role of Parenting Style in Children’s Behavioral Problems through the Transition from Preschool to Elementary School According to Gender in Japan . Int. J. Environ. Res. Public Health . 2019.

Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept .  J Child Fam Stud . 2019.

Consequences of parenting on adolescent outcomes .  Societies . 2014.

Psychosocial Consequences of Parenting . IOSR Journal Of Humanities And Social Science . 2016.

Helicopter Parenting May Negatively Affect Children’s Emotional Well-Being, Behavior . American Psychological Association . 2018.

Investigations of College Admissions and Testing Bribery Scheme . United States Attorney's Office . Updated 2023.

Parenting Behavior and Child Language: A Meta-analysis . American Academy of Pediatrics . 2019.

The moderating effects of positive psychological strengths on the relationship between tiger parenting and child anxiety . Children and Youth Services Review . 2018.

Related Articles

Parenting Styles

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

It is a stereotype that, in therapy, all of a person’s problems will be blamed on their parents. That is not the case. But decades of psychological research have suggested that the approach to parenting generally followed by an individual’s mother and/or father can influence the way they approach relationships, challenges, and opportunities. That doesn’t mean that an adult can’t change, of course, especially once they understand what may be influencing their behavior. And parents who become aware of the pitfalls of their own style and how it may affect their kids can also change.

For more on dysfunctional parenting, click here .

On This Page

• What are the four major parenting styles?
• How can a parent’s style predict a child’s future relationships?
• How can mothers and fathers tell what their parenting style is?
• How can parents become more authoritative?
• What is supportive parenting?
• What is attachment parenting?
• How can mothers and fathers transition away from attachment parenting?

Research begun by developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind in the 1960s identified three main parenting styles —authoritarian, indulgent, and authoritative. Later studies added a fourth—neglectful. Every parent does not neatly fit into one of these four categories but they describe the approaches of many.

• An authoritarian parent seeks to maintain a high level of control over their children. They may set and adhere to a strict set of rules, and are more likely to support and take part in corporal punishment such as spanking. Children of highly authoritarian parents may struggle socially and may be likely to become authoritarian parents themselves.
• Neglectful parents (also known as uninvolved or disengaged) take on a limited parenting role. They may not spend as much time as other parents in conversation, play, or other activities, and may not bother to set many house rules. Some children of neglectful parents may resist rules outside of the home and struggle with self-control.
• Indulgent (or permissive) parents may be attentive and warm, but may not set many rules for their children. They may prioritize being their child’s friend over being their parent. Research suggests that the children of permissive parents may show higher levels of creativity but may also feel entitled, and be more interested in taking rather than giving in their own relationships.
• Authoritative parents follow what is widely understood as the preferred approach. Such parents are more pragmatic and flexible. They set clear boundaries but also encourage children’s independence within those limits. Discipline in such families may be more supportive than punitive, and as children get older, their independence increases. Children of authoritative parents may have more highly developed self-control and self-reliance.

Recent research suggests that, in some families, a parent’s style, especially as it relates to maintaining control over their children, could leave their kids vulnerable to emotional abuse from future partners, employers, and and others. Researchers found that people raised with a parent who maintained strict psychological control over them grew to be especially vulnerable to emotionally abusive partners. The effect appeared to be offset, though, by experiencing emotional warmth from the other parent. Research continues to explore the effect of differing parenting styles in the same family, and whether it matters if a mother or father is the authoritarian.

Much research of parenting styles has examined how the styles affect children as they grow up, and how negative effects could be tempered. But other studies have focused on helping parents become more self-aware and change their styles to develop healthier relationships with their kids . Some researchers have developed analytical scales in which parents indicate how they would respond to certain scenarios with an eye toward helping them shift, perhaps through therapy, to a more moderate approach.

In practical terms, most parents do not think of themselves as authoritarian, authoritative, or otherwise, and many mothers and fathers are self-aware enough to know that they may not be consistent with their kids at all times. Experts suggest that attention to some general guidelines can help parents develop a healthier style—for example, being consciously warm and loving toward children, setting age-appropriate limits, actively listening to children’s concerns, gently but firmly asking to be treated with respect, and “catching” kids being good , while making sure they know they’ve been seen and acknowledged.

Supportive parenting describes an approach to authoritative parenting in which mothers and fathers are conscious of how often they say no to children (as they often must, especially when kids are young) so that they can seek more opportunities to say yes to them in encouraging ways that help kids develop confidence and self-esteem. When children are mostly told what they cannot do, they can feel rejected by a parent, even a well-meaning one, with potentially negative emotional outcomes. Being consciously supportive and selfless with children can help them internalize belief in themselves.

Attachment parenting , a term coined by pediatrician William Sears, describes an approach to parenting in which mothers and fathers are physically and emotionally close to their children, especially at an early age, and is characterized in practice by extended periods of breastfeeding and co-sleeping. Sears referred to it as “what mothers and fathers would do instinctively if they were raising their baby on a desert island.” There is little evidence, however, that this approach leads to more positive psychological outcomes for children and many experts reject attachment parenting as unnecessarily demanding of parents and potentially creating conflict and division between new parents.

Parents who commit themselves to attachment parenting and have the time and temperament to maintain the approach throughout early childhood may then be faced with the challenge of weaning their children from the approach. These mothers and fathers may need to consciously practice “ detachment parenting ” so that children entering early adolescence can develop independence and healthy friendships, while resisting feeling rejected themselves as kids begin to resist a parent’s efforts to hold onto their previous level of connection.

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Authoritative Parenting: Guiding With Warmth and Firmness

The parenting styles we adopt may not always be the most effective, but most of us are doing our best with what we know.

And it’s not easy. The parent–child relationship is one of the most complex we form, impacting how families function and how parents connect with their children (Chou et al., 2019).

In this article, we begin by introducing several parenting styles before focusing on authoritative parenting.

We explore how research shows it promotes empathy, compassion, and healthy development before introducing several helpful authoritative parenting techniques.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Parenting Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients identify opportunities to implement positive parenting practices and support healthy child development.

This Article Contains

Understanding authoritative parenting as a positive parenting style, 8 characteristics of an authoritative parent, 2 authoritative parenting examples in real life, what does the research say, how to practice an authoritative parenting style, 5 helpful parenting movies, resources from positivepsychology.com, a take-home message.

When it comes to parenting, we all have different approaches regarding how we communicate, establish authority, and form bonds with our children (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022).

Besides authoritative parenting, there are three other common parenting styles that influence how parents raise their children (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022; Chou et al., 2019):

• Authoritarian parenting Authoritarian parents apply strict rules that they expect their child to obey. There is no room for challenge or negation, and failure to follow the rules results in punishment .

Such parents are less nurturing, and the child often rebels against authority in later life.

• Permissive parenting Permissive parents have minimal or no expectations, guidelines, or rules for their children. Parents are typically more like friends, rarely practicing discipline or punishment and giving total freedom to bedtime and eating habits.

As they grow, their children may become “impulsive, demanding, selfish, and lack self-regulation,” often adopting unhealthy lifestyles (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022, para. 9).

• Uninvolved parenting Such parents typically remain separate, not engaged in raising their children. They most likely meet their children’s basic needs yet are limited in communication, discipline, and nurturing.

Children become self-sufficient and resilient as they grow, yet they may have difficulty controlling their emotions, form less helpful coping strategies , experience poor academic results, and have trouble forming and maintaining relationships.

What is authoritative parenting?

Authoritative parenting balances being responsive and being demanding. Authoritative parents “normally develop a close, nurturing relationship with their children” (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022, para. 6) and set clear guidelines and expectations. Such parents clearly explain what is required of their children and why (Chou et al., 2019).

Authoritative parents can show their children empathy, acceptance, warmth, and love, nurturing them while enforcing clear and reasonable rules. Crucially, they encourage young people to think about their behavior according to their values and create an environment suitable for critical thinking (Chou et al., 2019).

The result is that children are involved in constructing and regularly reviewing appropriate and realistic goals and expectations, resulting in regular, ongoing, and healthy communication (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022).

In Tom Weisner’s video “What is the most important influence on child development” and Lael Stone’s on “How to raise emotionally intelligent children,” we learn more about the importance of good parenting and how to provide a suitable environment for growth and flourishing.

Authoritative parents typically adopt specific approaches and display certain characteristics, including (Mattanah, 2005):

• Exhibiting warmth to their children and being responsive to their changing needs
• Setting appropriate, not authoritarian limits; creating an environment of optimum control rather than controlling behavior
• Offering structure and clear guidance aligned with shared values
• Being engaged in the activities and interests of their children
• Communicating regularly, both sharing their own thoughts and listening to their children’s
• Offering support (sometimes referred to as scaffolding), social skills , and informal coaching as the children learn, interact, and develop as individuals
• Encouraging autonomy and leaving space for the child “to explore, solve problems, and struggle towards solutions” while being available if needed (Mattanah, 2005, p. 120)
• Affirming the child’s present qualities while setting standards and guidelines for future behavior

In Becky Kennedy’s TEDx talk, “The Single Most Important Parenting Strategy,” we learn how being a good parent involves learning to be better at repairing when things go wrong.

While we can read about authoritative parenting in textbooks , we must practice it in real environments with our children to improve our skills and create closer connections.

The following are two examples of when and where authoritative parenting can and should happen.

Transitioning and adapting to school

“Children of authoritative parents are more motivated to achieve academically, more satisfied in the classroom, and show fewer externalizing and internalizing behavior problems than children of nonauthoritative parents” (Mattanah, 2005, p. 120).

For that reason, authoritative parenting is vital in academic settings. In fact, when their parents adopted authoritative parenting styles, children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder experienced fewer behavioral problems in the classroom (Mattanah, 2005).

It seems for all children, the capacity of parents to set firm limits, have realistic expectations, offer warmth and empathy, and provide stability is vital when they transition into elementary school and beyond (Mattanah, 2005; Hayek et al., 2022).

Encouraging and supporting autonomy and joint decision-making increases intrinsic motivation and self-efficacy in schoolchildren and predicts higher academic achievement (Mattanah, 2005; Hayek et al., 2022).

Interestingly, in the absence of authoritative parenting, adolescents can benefit from similar support offered by schools and communities (Zhou et al., 2022).

Pushing the boundaries in adolescence

Authoritative parenting is vital as children enter their teenage years and begin to push the limits of what is and isn’t acceptable (Chou et al., 2019).

While agreeing on boundaries , limits, and curfews can be a sensitive issue, reinforcing such techniques and strategies can transform parent–child relationships.

When the adolescent asks to stay out later than is reasonable and is vague regarding who they are with and where they will be, it is vital to discuss parental concerns and the young person’s needs openly and frankly.

With empathy and respect, the parent may begin with something like, “We understand you want to stay out later with your friends, and we respect that socializing is a big part of being a teenager” before explaining the concerns and rationale behind their curfew (Morin, 2020).

They can clarify that it’s not about control, but rather concern over the young person’s wellbeing. Having listened to their child’s thoughts, a compromise might be reached that involves keeping their parents informed. The curfew becomes less about limiting freedom and more about building trust (Morin, 2020).

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Authoritative parenting has a positive impact on the wellbeing and development of the child, and research even suggests it is the ideal parenting style, providing healthy child adjustment to existing and future environments (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022; Chou et al., 2019).

Benefits of authoritative parenting

Researchers propose that there are many benefits to adopting an authoritative parenting style. Typically, children display the following characteristics (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022; Mattanah, 2005):

• More confident and responsible
• Better able to self-regulate and manage their emotions
• More independent and able to achieve their personal goals
• Higher levels of self-esteem
• Improved academic performance
• More social competence

Downsides of authoritative parenting

This parenting approach typically results in healthy, well-adjusted children. However, there are a few downsides (Sanvictores & Mendez, 2022; Mattanah, 2005).

• Both parents and children must become more patient with one another to identify, understand, and agree on the best way forward.
• More effort is required for both parties to set agreed-upon and shared guidelines, expectations, and goals.

The following techniques, practices, and play approaches can help with improving communication, strengthening parent–child relationships, and supporting healthy child development.

Techniques & ideas

The following is a summary of techniques and ideas for authoritative parenting (Morin, 2020):

• Listen to your child. Perhaps nothing is more important than spending time listening to our children. Each child’s fears, worries, dreams, hopes, likes, and dislikes offer deep insight into who they are and what they need.
• Provide emotional validation. An authoritative parent helps their child identify and understand their emotions without judging or minimizing their feelings.
• Consider their feelings. A child’s feelings are important. By considering them, parents can understand how their decisions and behavior affect their family.
• Set appropriate boundaries. Clear guidance about what is and is not acceptable (and why) helps children build better life skills.
• Give clear consequences. When children misbehave, they need to know there is a consequence. Try to set one that offers a clear life lesson.
• Offer incentives. Rather than bribe children to get things done the way you want, offer smaller incentives that teach them new skills.
• Provide autonomy. Allow children to make little choices, supporting bigger decision-making later in life.
• Build relationships. Each of the points above can be combined with setting aside quality time each day to help children feel loved and accepted.

Fun and play can be an excellent tool for building emotional bonds and understanding between children and adults and offers an ideal opportunity to engage in authoritative parenting (Snowden & Rebar, 2018).

Games that involve pretending to be different people (real or imagined) are a powerful and fun approach to learning about responsibility, communication, and developing relationships (Snowden & Rebar, 2018; Peters, 2018).

Sometimes, it is helpful to swap parent and child roles. Perhaps the parent pretends to be a child making a mess in their bedroom while the child takes on the parenting role, asking them to be more careful and tidy up.

Other situations offer opportunities to practice behavior, such as being polite.

Create an imaginary scenario where the parent is a café owner, and the child is a customer. Ask them to run through the role-play situation twice, first being a rude and ungrateful customer, and then being kind and respectful. Then, ask them to explain how they think the owner may feel toward each customer.

We assessed several movie review sites, along with some of our personal favorites, to provide a brief list of movies we believe highlight the challenges, joys, and lessons to be taken from parenting.

1. The Kids Are Alright

This heartfelt drama explores the complexities and realities of nontraditional families and the relationships formed.

All of us can identify with the parental flaws each character has to confront.

Available on Amazon .

2. What to Expect When You’re Expecting

The story covers a broad perspective of all that an expectant parent may face, from miscarriage to breastfeeding, and many of their fears, joys, and upsets.

3. Parenthood

Despite being over 30 years old, Parenthood has strong characters that offer humorous and valuable insights into the highs and lows of parenting.

It’s another movie classic, this time exploring parenting from the eyes of both a biological parent and a stepparent. With many emotional scenes, it highlights the importance of love and its potential to support those facing loss.

5. The Pursuit of Happyness

It is a powerful movie that highlights what parents will do for their children and how hope and perseverance have the potential to triumph even in the most dire situations.

In What Is Movie and Cinema Therapy & How Does It Work?  we explore how movies can have therapeutic value and an opportunity to reflect on people’s inner lives in diverse situations.

We have many resources available for therapists to support families wishing to address relationship issues or strengthen emotional bonds.

Why not download our free positive parenting pack and try out the powerful tools contained within?

Other free resources include:

• Meeting Our Family Needs Family conflict can be reduced by ensuring each member’s needs are understood and accepted.
• What Is Working Within the Family While it is essential to recognize what is causing conflict in a relationship, it is equally vital to identify what is working .

More extensive versions of the following tools are available with a subscription to the Positive Psychology Toolkit© , but they are described briefly below:

• Respectful Parenting Respect is a vital element of the parent–child relationship. This exercise helps parents and caregivers recognize the importance and value of respectful parenting.

Try out the following four steps:

• Step one – Create two lists. One is to capture your parenting activities and strategies that exemplify respectful parenting, and the other includes less respectful parenting.
• Step two – Count them up and notice the balance between both lists.
• Step three – Think of ways you can increase your respectful parenting approach. For example, spend more time talking to your child as you expect them to speak to you, listen to them more closely and with full attention, and respect your children’s likes and dislikes.
• Step four – Commit to looking for more opportunities to engage in each aspect of positive parenting over the coming days.
• A Family Tree Family strengths help maintain cohesion and harmony and build resilience in relationships. It is particularly helpful for parents to recognize the strengths of their children.

Use this tool to map strengths on a family tree:

• Step one – Draw your family tree on a large piece of paper, capturing the relationships between people.
• Step two – List each family member’s top three strengths.
• Step three – Look for patterns of strengths common within the family. Discuss them with other family members. Are there any surprises? Is there an important strength missing from the family?
• Step four – Reflect on how knowing these strengths could help you avoid conflict and strengthen relationships going forward.

If you want to shape the wellbeing and future of children’s lives, consider this collection of 17 validated positive parenting tools designed for parents, caretakers and guardians. Use them to lay the groundwork for children’s lifelong success and happiness.

Parenting can seem like a daunting challenge. I should know; I’m a parent of two beautiful, strong-willed daughters.

Our challenge is to show our children warmth and kindness yet be firm and clear regarding what is acceptable — and what is not.

And I’m still working on that one.

Psychologists typically consider parenting as predominantly taking one of the following four styles: authoritarian (strict and less nurturing), permissive (minimal rules, possibly leading to unhealthy behavior), uninvolved (distant, resulting in poor coping techniques), and authoritative (responsive and nurturing, supporting healthy, confident child development).

Authoritative parenting involves setting clear guidance, being responsive, and engaging in our children’s emotional needs. Forming a deep understanding and emotionally solid bonds requires structure and ongoing communication.

An authoritative parent is engaged and nourishing, recognizing and accepting a child’s fears and concerns while working with them to make plans and set future goals.

And these are the skills where I’m focusing my attention.

After all, such techniques are valuable for supporting our children as they make their way through educational systems and life, along with underpinning essential work in family therapy.

Whether you are a parent or a counselor working with families, the principles and practices involved in authoritative parenting offer potent techniques to boost parent–child flourishing and healthy child development.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Parenting Exercises for free .

• Chou, J. L., Cooper-Sadlo, S., & Jos, A. (2019). Authoritarian parenting. In J. L. Lebow, A. L. Chambers, & D. C. Breunlin (Eds.), Encyclopedia of couple and family therapy (pp. 192–195). Springer.
• Hayek, J., Schneider, F., Lahoud, N., Tueni, M., & de Vries, H. (2022). Authoritative parenting stimulates academic achievement, also partly via self-efficacy and intention towards getting good grades. PLOS ONE , 17 (3).
• Mattanah, J. F. (2005). Authoritative parenting and the encouragement of children’s autonomy. In P. A. Cowan, C. P. Cowan, J. C. Ablow, V. K. Johnson, & J. R. Measelle (Eds.), The family context of parenting in children’s adaptation to elementary school (pp. 119–138). Routledge.
• Morin, A. (2020, October 26). 12 Ways to become a more authoritative parent . Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/ways-to-become-a-more-authoritative-parent-4136329.
• Peters, S. (2018). My hidden chimp: Helping children to understand and manage their emotions, thinking and behaviour with ten helpful habits . Studio Press.
• Sanvictores, T., & Mendez, M. D. (2022). Types of parenting styles and effects on children. In StatPearls . StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK568743/.
• Snowden, S., & Rebar, S. (2018). Anger management workbook for kids: 50 fun activities to help children stay calm and make better choices when they feel mad . Althea Press.
• Zhou, Z., Qu, Y., & Li, X. (2022). Parental collectivism goals and Chinese adolescents’ prosocial behaviors: The mediating role of authoritative parenting. Journal of Youth and Adolescence , 51 (4), 766–779.

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Authoritative Parenting Characteristics and Effects

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

• Characteristics
• Authoritative vs. Authoritarian
• Why It Works

Authoritative parenting is characterized by reasonable demands and high responsiveness. While authoritative parents might have high expectations for their children, they also give them the resources and support they need to succeed.

Parents who exhibit this style listen to their kids and provide love and warmth in addition to limits and fair discipline . This approach to parenting avoids punishment and threats and instead relies on strategies such as positive reinforcement .

Press Play for Advice On Raising Resilient Children

Hosted by therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast , featuring actress Cobie Smulders, shares how to raise resilient kids. Click below to listen now.

Follow Now : Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts

Brief History

During the 1960s, developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind described three different types of parenting styles : authoritarian, authoritative, and permissive. These types were based on her research with preschool-age children.  

The authoritative parenting style is sometimes referred to as "democratic." It involves a child-centric approach in which parents hold high expectations for their children backed by support and guidance.

Traditionally, the authoritative parenting style has been identified as the most effective and helpful to a child; research suggests that parents should flexibly deploy parenting techniques based on their personal goals and the unique behaviors of each child.  

What's Your Parenting Style?

This fast and free parenting styles quiz can help you analyze the methods you're using to parent your kids and whether or not it may be a good idea to learn some new parenting behaviors:

Characteristics of Authoritative Parenting

According to Baumrind, authoritative parents share some common characteristics. Traits they exhibit include:

• Administering fair and consistent discipline when rules are broken
• Allowing their children to express opinions
• Encouraging their children to discuss options
• Expressing warmth and nurturing
• Fostering independence and reasoning
• Listening to their children
• Placing limits, consequences, and expectations on their children's behavior

While the expectations of authoritative parents are high, these kinds of parents also tend to be flexible. If there are extenuating circumstances, authoritative parents will adjust their response accordingly.

Parents with this style are able to adjust and adapt their approach depending on the situation, their child's needs, and other factors that may be present. Discipline, then, takes into account all variables, including the child’s behavior, the situation, and so on.

Authoritative vs. Authoritarian Styles

These characteristics can be contrasted with the authoritarian parenting style , which is characterized by exceedingly high expectations with little warmth and guidance.

Commanding but supportive

Focused on reinforcing desirable behaviors

Provides structure, guidelines, and expectations

Significant involvement in a child's life

Strict and unsupportive

Focused on punishing mistakes

Rules that are often harshly enforced

Little involvement in a child's life

For example, imagine a situation where two young boys steal candy from the grocery store. How each boy's parents deal with the situation characterizes the differences between these parenting styles.

Authoritative Parents

When the boy with authoritative parents finally arrives home, he receives a fair punishment that fits the nature of the transgression. An example of how authoritative parenting might look in this situation:

• He is grounded for two weeks and must return the candy and apologize to the store owner.
• His parents talk to him about why stealing is wrong.
• His parents are supportive and encourage him not to engage in such behavior again.

Authoritarian Parents

The other boy has authoritarian parents, so his consequences look quite different. An example of how authoritarian parenting might look in this circumstance:

• When he arrives home, he is yelled at by both parents.
• His father spanks him.
• His father orders him to spend the rest of the night in his room without dinner.

The child with authoritative parents was disciplined but with support and guidance for encouraging the desired future behavior. On the other hand, the child with authoritarian parents was not given support or love and received no feedback or guidance about why the theft was wrong.

Effects of Authoritative Parenting

In the past, child development experts influenced by Baumrind's work generally identified the authoritative parenting style as the best approach to parenting.

Research has repeatedly shown that children raised by authoritative parents tend to be more capable, happy, and successful.

According to Baumrind, children of authoritative parents:

• Are self-confident about their abilities to learn new things
• Develop good social skills
• Have good emotional control and regulation
• Tend to have happier dispositions

Research suggests that authoritative parenting is associated with better:

• Life satisfaction among teens and young adults
• Problem-solving abilities 
• Self-esteem
• Emotional regulation
• Self-reliance
• Relationships
• Self-confidence

While authoritative parenting is often viewed as the most effective approach, it is important to recognize that various factors play a role in developmental outcomes.

Why Authoritative Parenting Works

Authoritative parents act as role models and exhibit the same behaviors they expect from their children. Because of this, their kids are more likely to internalize these behaviors and exhibit them as well. Consistent rules and discipline also allow children to know what to expect.

These parents tend to exhibit good emotional understanding and control. Their children also learn to manage their emotions and learn to understand others.

Authoritative parents also allow children to act independently. This freedom teaches kids that they are capable of accomplishing things on their own, helping to foster strong self-esteem and self-confidence.

Some parents are naturally more authoritative than authoritarian or permissive . However, this doesn't mean that you cannot adopt a more authoritative style, even though it is not your natural default.

Attempting to moderate your parenting style may mean that you will have to remain mindful of your actions while you work to develop the habits of an authoritative parenting style. 

How to Be an Authoritative Parent

If you are interested in becoming a more authoritative parent, there are some things you can do that may help. It can be helpful to view this parenting style as a balance between discipline, emotional control, and allowing independence.

• Set rules and communicate the guidelines, boundaries, and expectations for behavior.
• Establish consequences when rules are violated and follow through when expectations are not met.
• Be compassionate , warm, empathetic, and supportive of your child. 
• Focus on building a strong, supportive relationship with your child rather than controlling everything that they do.
• Encourage your child to be independent and allow them to experience the natural consequences of their actions.

Try not to be too harsh or too lenient. You can start by letting your child make more decisions and have regular discussions about those choices. This parenting method will become more natural with time, attention, and flexibility to your child's needs.

A Word From Verywell

Authoritative parenting is often regarded as the ideal parenting style. It is important to recognize, however, that your own style might be a mix of different styles and your style may differ from that of your partner or co-parent. Even if authoritative parenting doesn't immediately come naturally to you, there are strategies you can u

Baumrind D. Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior . Genetic Psychology Monographs . 1967:75(1):43-88.

Smetana JG. Current research on parenting styles, dimensions, and beliefs . Curr Opin Psychol . 2017;15:19-25. doi:10.1016/j.copsyc.2017.02.012

Sege RD, Siegel BS. Effective discipline to raise healthy children . Pediatrics . 2018;142(6). doi:10.1542/peds.2018-3112

Kuppens S, Ceulemans E. Parenting styles: a closer look at a well-known concept .  J Child Fam Stud . 2019;28(1):168-181. doi:10.1007/s10826-018-1242-x

Lau EYH, Power TG. Coparenting, parenting stress, and authoritative parenting among Hong Kong Chinese mothers and fathers . Parenting . 2020;20(3):167-176. doi:10.1080/15295192.2019.1694831

Macmull MS, Ashkenazi S. Math anxiety: The relationship between parenting style and math self-efficacy .  Front Psychol . 2019;10:1721. doi:10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01721

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Home — Essay Samples — Life — Parenting Styles — Parenting Styles and How They May Affect A Child’s Development

Parenting Styles and How They May Affect a Child's Development

• Categories: Parenting Styles

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Words: 1544 |

Published: Jul 17, 2018

Words: 1544 | Pages: 3 | 8 min read

Table of contents

How this effects a child’s life, works cited.

• Baumrind, D. (1966). Effects of authoritative parental control on child behavior. Child Development, 37(4), 887-907.
• Baumrind, D. (1967). Child care practices anteceding three patterns of preschool behavior. Genetic Psychology Monographs, 75(1), 43-88.
• Boskic, M. (2010). Parenting styles and social skills development in early childhood. Early Childhood Research & Practice, 12(2).
• Chan, S. M., & Koo, A. (2010). Parenting style and youth outcomes in the UK. European Journal of Developmental Psychology, 7(3), 352-371.
• Combs, M. D., & Landsverk, J. (1988). Parenting styles and adolescent behavior. Journal of Adolescent Research, 3(1), 3-20.
• Kordi, M., & Baharudin, R. (2010). Parenting styles and interpersonal relationship among adolescents. Procedia-Social and Behavioral Sciences, 5, 1860-1864.
• Park, J. Y., Kim, H., Chiang, Y. C., & M. Ju, S. (2010). Authoritarian parenting and youth emotional adjustment: Mediating roles of sense of inadequacy and ego-resiliency. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 39(12), 1408-1420.
• Soenens, B., Vansteenkiste, M., Lens, W., Luyckx, K., Goossens, L., & Beyers, W. (2007). Conceptualizing parental autonomy support: Adolescent perceptions of promotion of independence versus promotion of volitional functioning. Developmental Psychology, 43(3), 633-646.
• Steinberg, L., Lamborn, S. D., Dornbusch, S. M., & Darling, N. (1992). Impact of parenting practices on adolescent achievement: Authoritative parenting, school involvement, and encouragement to succeed. Child Development, 63(5), 1266-1281.
• Volling, B. L., McElwain, N. L., Notaro, P. C., & Herrera, C. (2002). Parents' emotional availability and infant emotional competence: Predictors of parent-infant attachment and emerging self-regulation. Journal of Family Psychology, 16(4), 447-465.

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Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Adulthood Essay

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Introduction

Parenting styles, the parenting styles’ influence on individual’s future life.

Parents can influence their children with the help of different specific practices, targeted at guiding, controlling, and socializing young generations. The parents’ attitudes to their kids create a specific emotional atmosphere, which is traditionally called a “parenting style”. It is generally thought that the way of treatment has a serious impact on the children’s future lives and development. The typology was first introduced by Diane Baumrind and identified four major types of parental behavior: authoritarian (or disciplinarian), authoritative, permissive (or indulgent), and uninvolved (or neglectful) (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2018). There are numerous debates between experts about the pros and cons of each method of raising a child and its possible effect on the individual’s adulthood.

The Features of Authoritarian Parenting

Parenting styles are typically characterized by two dimensions: demandingness and responsiveness. Demandingness refers to “the extend parents control their children’s behavior or demand their maturity” (“4 Types of parenting styles and their effects,” 2021, para. 11). Responsiveness signifies “the degree parents are accepting and sensitive to their children’s emotional and developmental needs” ((“4 Types of parenting styles and their effects,” 2021, para. 12). The authoritarian type is characterized by high demandingness and low responsiveness, meaning that parents have high expectations of their kids’ achievements, giving them little response and care. This style implies indisputable obedience, with mothers and fathers applying it to “try to shape, control, and evaluate their children’s behavior based on the absolute set of standards” (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2018, p. 169). The followers of this way demand obedience and use only one-way communication, making strict discipline their priority and often using severe punishments. According to Baumrind, these parents “are obedience- and status-oriented, and expect their orders to be obeyed without explanation” (as cited in Cherry, 2020, para. 8). Kids in such families tend to feel insecure and have low self-esteem, show poor performance at school, develop aggressive behavior, and even have increased risks to suffer from depression.

The Features of Authoritative Parenting

The authoritative parenting type is characterized by high levels of demandingness and responsiveness, meaning that parents expect good achievements from their kids, showing warmth and care at the same time. This style is “warmer and more autonomy granting than controlling” (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2018, p. 169). It is aimed at encouraging children to be responsible, understand the reasons for rules, and make their own decisions. The followers of this way always give explanations and reasons for their actions and decisions, teaching the young generation about values and morals. The disciplinary methods in use are negotiable and aimed at the result, establishing the purpose of regulating the behavior. Authoritative parents are always supportive and encourage the independence of their children, always promoting communication and negotiating all the problems. This style is also called democratic due to its basic features. According to Baumrind, these parents “monitor and impart clear standards for their children’s conduct…They want their children to be assertive as well as socially responsible, and self-regulated as well as cooperative” (Cherry, 2020, para. 11). In such families, children are usually happy, more independent, successful, and have good self-esteem, communication skills, and better mental health.

The Features of Permissive Parenting

Permissive parenting is characterized by low demandingness and high responsiveness, meaning that parents are always nurturing and warm, and reluctant to establish rules. In such families, children are not used to hearing the denial of their requests as their parents are afraid to hurt them. Baumrind says that the followers of this style “are more responsive than they are demanding. They are non-traditional and lenient, do not require mature behavior, allow considerable self-regulation, and avoid confrontation” (as cited in Cherry, 2020, para. 14). Typically, these parents become friends with their children, forgetting that their basic duty is to teach the young generation the principal rules of life. The kids in such families tend to have behavior and emotional problems and show worse performance in studying as they cannot follow rules, have little self-control, and have poor social skills.

The Features of Uninvolved Parenting

Uninvolved parenting is characterized by low levels of demandingness and responsiveness, meaning that children have little emotional support and no rules. Such parents are neglectful of their children’s needs and desires. This situation can occur in families with parents having alcohol or drug abuse, or those who have been neglected in their childhood. Kids in such households are usually more impulsive, have low self-esteem and poor communication skills, and tend to have serious mental or behavioral problems in their future life, including criminal issues. The uninvolved or neglectful parenting style is considered to be the worst as it can lead to serious problems in adulthood.

The Reasons Parenting Styles Influence

There have been numerous debates and research about the influence of each parental style on the future life of the person. The family context is regarded as essential because it helps to establish the link between childhood and the relationships of a person with their parents with future behavior and performance. For example, the research, held in 2019 in Spain and Portugal, has shown that this context “continues to play a fundamental role in young peoples’ development, even during the third decade of their lives” (Parra et al., 2019, para. 35). A study has shown that the most widespread parenting style is authoritarian, “being twice as common as the authoritative one” (Parra et al., 2019, para. 37). The family context remains meaningful during the whole life of the person as it is the background serving as a basis for all the future intentions. The atmosphere, in which an individual is being raised, has an impact on their future behavior, attitudes, academic and career achievements, and even health and mental problems.

The Impact on Behavior

Numerous studies showed the correlation of parenting styles with future behavior. According to the research held in 2018, “children of authoritarian parents demonstrated more negative (i.e., hyperactivity, conduct problems, emotional symptoms) and less positive (i.e., prosocial behavior) child outcomes compared to children whose parents belonged to another parenting style” (Kuppens & Ceulemans, 2018, p. 175). The study has demonstrated that the authoritarian ways of parenting lead to the poorest future behavior. The findings of the research have also proved that even children with neglectful parents had fewer problems than those from authoritarian families. Meanwhile, those with authoritative mothers and fathers showed the lowest levels of conduct problems. These results prove that there is a strong connection between the way of upbringing and future behavior patterns.

Parenting style has also been found influential for a future level of the individual’s independence. For example, one research has demonstrated that children in authoritative families “reported the lowest expectation for behavioral autonomy” (Bi et al., 2018, p. 10). This result may be explained by the fact they have already achieved a good level of independence due to their positive relations with their parents, who set a goal of socialization by respecting their children’s needs. In contrast to this style, adolescents from families with an authoritarian way of upbringing tend to seek more autonomy because it is not available to them due to strict control over their lives. Permissive and neglectful parents do not set rules, and children in these families tend to “experience high levels of independence before they can manage it themselves” (Bi et al., 2018, p. 10). This study proved that the behavior and, in particular, the level of independence directly depends on the parenting style, and the authoritative style showed the best results.

The Impact on Academic Achievements and Career

There are numerous types of research, proving that parenting styles influence the future academic achievements and career of the individual. For example, one of the studies examined 310 students and found “a positive and significant relationship between the firm and reassuring parenting style”, while the authoritarian way proved “a negative relationship with educational success and career path” (Zahedani, 2016, p. 132). The research has shown that parental involvement and support are key components for better achievements. It has also been found that successful students had parents with firm styles and those with authoritative methods of upbringing “had the least scores” (Zahedani, 2016, p. 133). Another study has found that parental involvement is also a critical factor influencing self-efficacy and self-discipline in the process of learning among adolescents (Theresya et al., 2018). According to this research, the permissive parenting style “has a significant negative effect on academic achievement”, while the authoritative one proved to have a positive impact on the children’s success (Theresya et al., 2018, p. 36). All of these studies demonstrate that the way of upbringing has a serious impact on the academic achievements and future success of grown-up children.

Moreover, the results of numerous types of research have shown that there is a strong correlation between the way of upbringing and future career achievements. For example, one of the studies has found that a firm parenting style leads to positive career development (Zahedani, 2016). The study proves the right interaction can be beneficial for the future career of an individual. According to another research, the authoritarian parenting style is also found to be the most useful due to the high level of parental control, encouraging children to be resilient and prepared for life challenges (Preston & Salim, 2019). Another research, held in 2018, highlighted that the achievements of grown-up children depend on the activities, which their parents chose for them (Viola & Daniel, 2018). According to this criterion, authoritative mothers and fathers have a positive influence on their children’s career development as they allow them to participate in numerous activities, motivating them to become more explorative and self-reliant. All of these studies prove that there is a strong impact of parenting styles on the future career achievements of children.

The Impact on the Psychological State

Numerous studies, held in different European countries, established finding the link between parenting styles and the mental state of grown-up children as their priority. For example, the research, conducted in Spain and Portugal, proved that there is a strong connection between these two notions. According to the results of their study, “the authoritative and permissive styles are those most closely associated with high levels of wellbeing, while children who perceive their parents as neglectful and authoritarian scored lowest in this variable” (Parra et al., 2019, para. 39). Another research has found that “there is a significant relationship between the dimensions (indifference abuse and over-controlling) of parenting style of mother and the dimensions (stress, anxiety, and depression) of mental health” (Jahan & Suri, 2016, p. 3). These outcomes highlight that warm relationships between parents and their children lead to a more stable psychological state in the future, decreasing the chances of such serious mental conditions as depression and anxiety.

However, other studies provide information that parenting styles are not the only key reason for the appearance of mental health problems in adulthood. According to one of the studies, such factors as poverty level and bullying have a more serious contribution to the problem (Rezvan & D’Souza, 2017). The research proves that there is a correlation between parenting styles and the risks of future mental issues; however, there are other reasons which may appear to be more relevant from this perspective.

The Role of Gender

There have been numerous debates and studies, concerning the influence of parenting styles on children of different genders, trying to understand who is more susceptible to this impact, boys or girls. According to the research held in Spain and Portugal, there are many similarities in the level of distress among males and females. The authoritarian type was found to be the most damaging to both genders, while “the permissive and authoritative styles were most closely related to wellbeing” (Parra et al., 2019, para. 44). On the contrary, the research held in China showed that “the relationships between parenting styles and cohesion were stronger for girls” (Bi et al., 2018, p. 11). According to the results of the study, it is connected with the fact that females are usually more sensitive and emotional. However, it also highlighted numerous similarities between the reactions of boys and girls, making the conclusion that parenting styles influence both genders.

Parenting style is an important concept, referring to the way parents treat their children. There are four major types: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. There have been many types of research aimed at proving the influence of the atmosphere at home on various aspects of the future development of the child. Most of the studies have shown that the authoritative way of raising the young generation is the most beneficial. Kids in such families tend to have higher levels of self-esteem and independence, show better academic performance, demonstrate better social skills and good behavior, and have fewer chances to acquire such serious health conditions as depression and anxiety. On the contrary, multiple studies prove that the authoritarian style has more disadvantages as it makes children dependent on their parents due to a lower level of autonomy, and leads to behavior and mental problems in adulthood. In many aspects, this style is considered to be even worse than the neglectful type, which implies that parents do not take care of their children.

The studies have shown that each of the existing parenting styles, even the neglectful one, which is regarded to be the worst type due to the total ignorance of children’s needs, has its advantages and negative consequences. All of the studied works prove that the approach to parenting has a huge impact on the future life of children, including their behavior, relations with other people, achievements, and physical and mental health. A good parent needs to be considerate about their decisions when raising children and understand that all their actions influence their kids, determining their success and failures in adulthood.

Bi, X., Yang, Y., Li, H., Wang, M., Zhang, W, & Deater-Deckard, K. (2018). Parenting styles and parent-adolescent relationships: The mediating roles of behavioral autonomy and parental authority . Frontiers in Psychology, 9 (2187).

Cherry, K. (2020). Why parenting styles matter when raising children . Verywell Mind.

Jahan, A., & Suri, S. (2016). Parenting style in relation to mental health among female adolescents . Abnormal Behavior Psychology, 2 (125).

Kuppens, S., & Ceulemans E. (2018). Parenting styles: A closer look at a well-known concept. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 28 (1), 168–181.

4 Types of parenting styles and their effects. (2021). Parenting for Brain.

Parra, A., Sánchez-Queija, I., del Carmen García-Mendoza, M., Coimbra, S., Oliveira, S.E., & Diez, M. (2019). Perceived parenting styles and adjustment during emerging adulthood: A cross-national perspective . International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health, 16 (15).

Preston, M., & Salim, R.M.A. (2019). Parenting style, proactive personality, and career decision self-efficacy among senior high school students. Humanitas Indonesian Psychological Journal, 16 (2), 116-128.

Rezvan, A., & D’Souza, L. (2017). Influence of parenting styles on the mental health of adolescents. European Online Journal of Natural and Social Sciences, 6 (4), 667-673.

Theresya, J., Latifah, M., & Hernawati, N. (2018). The effect of parenting style, self-efficacy, and self-regulated learning on adolescents’ academic achievements. Journal of Child Development Studies, 3 (1), 28-43.

Viola, M., & Daniel, N. (2018). Influence of parenting styles on career development of youths with intellectual disabilities in selected skills training institutions in Zambia. International Journal of Humanities Social Sciences and Education, 5 (12), 69-77.

Zahedani, Z.Z., Rezaee, R., Yazdani, Z., Bagheri, S., & Nabeiei, P. (2016). The influence of parenting style on academic achievement and career path. Journal of Advances in Medical Education & Professionalism, 4 (3), 130-134.

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IvyPanda. (2022, July 13). Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Adulthood. https://ivypanda.com/essays/parenting-styles-and-their-influence-on-adulthood/

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IvyPanda . 2022. "Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Adulthood." July 13, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/parenting-styles-and-their-influence-on-adulthood/.

1. IvyPanda . "Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Adulthood." July 13, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/parenting-styles-and-their-influence-on-adulthood/.

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IvyPanda . "Parenting Styles and Their Influence on Adulthood." July 13, 2022. https://ivypanda.com/essays/parenting-styles-and-their-influence-on-adulthood/.

My mom hated my nickname. It took me going by it when I went to college for her to accept it.

• My mom didn't like my nickname — Jackie — and yelled at other people who called me that. 
• She thought it was trashy and didn't want anyone using it. 
• When I moved to college I went exclusively by my nickname. 

On her porch in Pittsburgh , my hometown friend Annabel asked, "Remember when your mom yelled at my mom for calling you Jackie?" She chuckled, but I could only cringe.

Six years later, I still couldn't escape the embarrassment of my eighth-grade choir concert when my mom overheard Annabel's parents using my nickname, lectured them about how Jackie was "trashy," and commanded that they stop calling me that. I was mortified.

My mom didn't like my nickname

For a decade, my mom and I fought over my nickname . My soccer teammates started calling me Jackie after I moved to Pittsburgh in third grade. To me, it represented intimacy and acceptance in a new city, but my mom despised it.

Related stories

I wondered if her Catholic upbringing led her to see Jackie as untraditional, and I knew she disliked names ending in -ie. Still, these reasons didn't warrant repeated altercations with children and adults who called me Jackie. Several times a year, someone approached me wide-eyed after my mom confronted them. I never knew what to do. Saying, "She's crazy, ignore her," felt unfair, yet I couldn't justify my mom's strong aversion to the name.

This tension strained our relationship . I didn't understand why my mom wouldn't respect my preferences. When asked, she would tensely reply, "Jacqueline is a beautiful French name. Jackie is not."

I went by Jackie only in certain settings away from my mom

To avoid fighting, I only went by Jackie in certain settings. At school, friends and some teachers called me Jackie, but I never used the nickname at my dance studio , which my mom visited twice a week. When she attended a school event, I warned friends not to call me Jackie in front of her. I still felt extreme anxiety anytime my mom interacted with them. One slip-up and I knew we'd be in a yelling match later. Or worse, she would chastise them in front of me.

Things also got confusing when people who knew me as Jacqueline met people who knew me as Jackie. Trying to explain my mom's feelings and my decision to be two different people was exhausting.

I escaped this turmoil by attending college out of state. Seven hours away from my mom and my past, I used my nickname with friends, professors, and supervisors. On the phone with my mom one day, I fleetingly mentioned how even the kids I taught called me Jackie to feel her response. And shockingly, she was silent. Apparently, time, distance, and my entry into adulthood prompted her to start respecting my choice. Or maybe she just got tired of fighting — I've never directly asked her.

I appreciate my name and her acceptance of my nickname

Regardless, I was elated. When I visited home, I didn't feel like I was keeping secrets from her anymore. I became more comfortable inviting her into my life. During my senior year, my parents attended my honors presentation and met my longtime mentor and professor. I held my breath when she said, "Jackie was wonderful to work with the past four years."

But my mom smiled and said, "We've heard lots about you." The encounter was the most direct test of her acceptance yet. After years of tiptoeing around my mom and awkward social situations, her recognizing my wishes meant so much.

Now, I introduce myself as Jacqueline when I meet new people. My mom's openness to Jackie helps me appreciate the elegance of Jacqueline and the fact that my mom chose it for me. But it's a relief to know people can transition to calling me Jackie without me hiding it from her or bearing her disappointment. Her acceptance has allowed me to be honest with her, and I'm grateful.

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Parenting Styles: A Closer Look at a Well-Known Concept

Sofie kuppens.

1 Erasmus School of Health Policy & Management, Erasmus University Rotterdam, Rotterdam, The Netherlands

2 Department of Public Health and Primary Care, KU Leuven, Leuven, Belgium

Eva Ceulemans

3 Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences, KU Leuven, Leuven, Belgium

Although parenting styles constitute a well-known concept in parenting research, two issues have largely been overlooked in existing studies. In particular, the psychological control dimension has rarely been explicitly modelled and there is limited insight into joint parenting styles that simultaneously characterize maternal and paternal practices and their impact on child development. Using data from a sample of 600 Flemish families raising an 8-to-10 year old child, we identified naturally occurring joint parenting styles. A cluster analysis based on two parenting dimensions (parental support and behavioral control) revealed four congruent parenting styles: an authoritative, positive authoritative, authoritarian and uninvolved parenting style. A subsequent cluster analysis comprising three parenting dimensions (parental support, behavioral and psychological control) yielded similar cluster profiles for the congruent (positive) authoritative and authoritarian parenting styles, while the fourth parenting style was relabeled as a congruent intrusive parenting style. ANOVAs demonstrated that having (positive) authoritative parents associated with the most favorable outcomes, while having authoritarian parents coincided with the least favorable outcomes. Although less pronounced than for the authoritarian style, having intrusive parents also associated with poorer child outcomes. Results demonstrated that accounting for parental psychological control did not yield additional parenting styles, but enhanced our understanding of the pattern among the three parenting dimensions within each parenting style and their association with child outcomes. More similarities than dissimilarities in the parenting of both parents emerged, although adding psychological control slightly enlarged the differences between the scores of mothers and fathers.

Parenting has gained ample research attention from various scientific disciplines. Many theoretical frameworks emphasize that parenting plays a vital role in child development, which has fueled research investigating the impact of parenting on child development for over 75 years. When studying parenting, researchers can take various strategies by considering parenting practices, parenting dimensions or parenting styles. Parenting practices can be defined as directly observable specific behaviors that parents use to socialize their children (Darling and Steinberg 1993 ). For example, parenting practices intended to promote academic achievement are showing involvement by attending parent–teacher meetings or regular supervision of children’s homework. Other parenting practices pertain to positive reinforcement, discipline, or problem solving.

Rather than focusing on specific parenting practices, other researchers have identified overarching parenting dimensions that reflect similar parenting practices, mostly by modeling the relationships among these parenting practices using factor analytic techniques. There is consensus among scientists about the existence of at least two broad dimensions of parenting, labeled parental support and parental control. Parental support pertains to the affective nature of the parent-child relationship, indicated by showing involvement, acceptance, emotional availability, warmth, and responsivity (Cummings et al. 2000 ). Support has been related to positive development outcomes in children, such as the prevention of alcohol abuse and deviance (Barnes and Farrell 1992 ), depression and delinquency (Bean et al. 2006 ) and externalizing problem behavior (Shaw et al. 1994 ).

The control dimension has been subdivided into psychological and behavioral control (Barber 1996 ; Schaefer 1965 ; Steinberg 1990 ). Parental behavioral control consists of parenting behavior that attempts to control, manage or regulate child behavior, either through enforcing demands and rules, disciplinary strategies, control of rewards and punishment, or through supervisory functions (Barber 2002 ; Maccoby 1990 ; Steinberg 1990 ). An appropriate amount of behavioral control has been considered to positively affect child development, whereas insufficient (e.g., poor parental monitoring) or excessive behavioral control (e.g., parental physical punishment) has been commonly associated with negative child developmental outcomes, such as deviant behavior, misconduct, depression and anxious affect (e.g., Barnes and Farrell 1992 ; Coie and Dodge 1998 ; Galambos et al. 2003 ; Patterson et al. 1984 ). While parental behavioral control refers to control over the child’s behavior, parental psychological control pertains to an intrusive type of control in which parents attempt to manipulate children’s thoughts, emotions, and feelings (Barber 1996 ; Barber et al. 2005 ). Due to its manipulative and intrusive nature, psychological control has almost exclusively been associated with negative developmental outcomes in children and adolescents, such as depression, antisocial behaviour and relational regression (e.g., Barber and Harmon 2002 ; Barber et al. 2005 ; Kuppens et al. 2013 ). The three parenting dimensions (support, psychological control, and behavioral control) have been labelled conceptually distinct, although they are related to some extent (Barber et al. 2005 ; Soenens et al. 2012 ).

Other authors have taken yet a different approach to studying parenting by emphasizing that specific combinations of parenting practices within a parent particularly impact child development rather than separate parenting practices or dimensions (e.g., Baumrind 1991 ; Maccoby and Martin 1983 ). Within such a configurational approach, one examines which patterns of parenting practices occur within the same parent and how these patterns—commonly labelled as parenting styles— are related to children’s development. Such parenting styles have the clear advantage of accounting for different parenting practices at the same time within the same person. As such, it comprises a person–centered approach that focuses on configurations within individuals rather than a variable–centered approach that focuses on relationships among variables across individuals as has been used to identify parenting dimensions (Magnusson 1998 ).

Baumrind ( 1966 , 1967 , 1971 ) is commonly considered a pioneer of research into parenting styles. She introduced a typology with three parenting styles to describe differences in normal parenting behaviors: the authoritarian, authoritative and permissive parenting style. Baumrind ( 1971 ) suggested that authoritarian parents try to shape, control, and evaluate their children’s behavior based on the absolute set of standards; whereas permissive parents are warmer and more autonomy granting than controlling. She considered an authoritative parenting style to fall between those two extremes. Later on in the 1980s, Maccoby and Martin ( 1983 ) attempted to bridge Baumrind’s typology and parenting dimensions. Based on the combination of two dimensions – demandingness and responsiveness – they defined four parenting styles: authoritative (i.e., high demandingness and high responsiveness); authoritarian (i.e., high demandingness and low responsiveness); indulgent (i.e., low demandingness and high responsiveness); and neglectful (i.e., low demandingness and low responsiveness). These two parenting dimensions are similar, yet not identical to the dimensions ‘parental support’ and ‘parental behavioral control’. Based on Maccoby and Martin’s work, Baumrind ( 1989 , 1991 ) expanded her typology with a fourth parenting style, namely the ‘neglectful’ parenting style.

Maccoby and Martin ( 1983 ) research efforts primarily focused on the configuration of the parenting styles and to a lesser extent on their association with children’s development. Baumrind, in contrast, has also extensively studied the association between parenting styles and child development (1967, 1971, 1989, 1991). This work consistently demonstrated that youth of authoritative parents had the most favorable development outcomes; authoritarian and permissive parenting were associated with negative developmental outcomes; while outcomes for children of neglectful parents were poorest. These aforementioned associations have also been replicated by other researchers. An authoritative parenting style has consistently been associated with positive developmental outcomes in youth, such as psychosocial competence (e.g., maturation, resilience, optimism, self-reliance, social competence, self-esteem) and academic achievement (e.g., Baumrind 1991 ; Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ). Findings regarding permissive/indulgent parenting have been inconsistent yielding associations with internalizing (i.e., anxiety, depression, withdrawn behavior, somatic complaints) and externalizing problem behavior (i.e., school misconduct, delinquency), but also with social skills, self–confidence, self–understanding and active problem coping (e.g., Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ; Williams et al. 2009 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ). An authoritarian parenting style has consistently been associated with negative developmental outcomes, such as aggression, delinquent behaviors, somatic complaints, depersonalisation and anxiety (e.g., Hoeve et al. 2008 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ; Williams et al. 2009 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ). Children of neglectful parents have shown the least favorable outcomes on multiple domains, such as lacking self-regulation and social responsibility, poor self-reliance and social competence, poor school competence, antisocial behavior and delinquency, anxiety, depression and somatic complaints (e.g., Baumrind 1991 ; Hoeve et al. 2008 ; Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ).

Baumrind’s typology (1966) was initially determined on theoretical grounds, although with time she did conduct empirical validation research (1967, 1971, 1989, 1991). Nonetheless, the empirical studies always started with parenting styles that were predefined in a prototypical score profile in terms of minimum or maximum limit scores (e.g., scores above or below the median) on the different parenting practices; thus parents were first classified using cut–off scores for these predefined parenting styles and afterwards associations with child developmental outcomes were examined. However, such a confirmatory approach is not preferred to investigate parenting styles types (Mandara 2003 ) as it does not allow the identification of the naturally occurring typology, because people are actually forced into some predefined category defined on theoretical grounds. To empirically identify typologies in a certain population an exploratory clustering approach is needed (Everitt et al. 2001 ; Mandara 2003 ). Such clustering methods entail that persons are assessed on different variables (e.g., parenting practices) and patterns that naturally occur in the data are identified. Persons with a similar score profile are classified in the same cluster and those with distinctly different profile scores are classified into other clusters; with the number of clusters and associated score profiles being unknown a priori. The literature shows that researchers started to adopt such clustering methods in research into parenting styles about 15 to 20 years ago (Aunola et al. 2000 ; Beato et al. 2016 ; Brenner andand Fox 1999 ; Carlson and Tanner 2006 ; Chaudhuri et al. 2009 ; Dwairy et al. 2006 ; Gorman-Smith et al. 2000 ; Heberle et al. 2015 ; Hoeve et al. 2008 ; Lee et al. 2006 ; Mandara and Murray 2002 ; Martin et al. 2007 ; McGroder 2000 ; McKinney and Renk 2008 ; Meteyer and Perry-Jenkins 2009 ; Metsäpelto and Pulkkinen 2003 ; Pereira et al. 2008 ; Russell et al. 1998 ; Shucksmith et al. 1995 ; Tam and Lam 2004 ; van der Horst and Sleddens 2017 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ). These studies have generally identified three or four parenting styles that resemble the initial theoretical parenting styles.

Although Baumrind’s typology has greatly influenced parenting research, two issues have largely been overlooked in the existing knowledge. A first issue relates to the psychological control dimension which is currently considered the third parenting dimension. Initially, Baumrind paid little attention to the role of psychological control because her control dimension solely referred to parental socializing practices aimed at integrating the child in the family and society (Darling and Steinberg 1993 ). In her later work (1971, 1989, 1991), Baumrind did incorporate aspects of psychological control but the confirmatory nature of that research (cf. using predefined clusters) makes it impossible to determine which parenting styles would naturally evolve when psychological control would be taken into account. Empirical studies have also rarely explicitly included parental psychological control when modeling parenting styles. So far, the limited research including psychological control indices (e.g., Pereira et al. 2008 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ) has mostly identified four parenting styles that match the theoretically distinct styles. Within these parenting styles psychological control coincided with behavioral control levels in the authoritarian parenting style, yet cumulative knowledge remains too limited to draw firm conclusions.

A second issue is that existing research provides little insight into the coexistence of maternal and paternal parenting styles and their joint impact on child development. Although Baumrind included both parents in her studies, she assigned a (pre-defined) parenting style to each one separately. In some studies (1991), data was limited to mothers if both parents were assigned a different parenting style; in others (1971) families were entirely excluded in such instances. Not only Baumrind, but research on parenting styles in general has paid less attention to the impact of joint parenting styles on child development (Martin et al. 2007 ; McKinney and Renk 2008 ; Simons and Conger 2007 ), but has mainly focused on the unique, differential or interaction effects of maternal and paternal parenting styles adopting a variable-oriented perspective (e.g., Beato et al. 2016 ; Miranda et al. 2016 ). Children in two-parent households are influenced by the combined practices of both parents (Martin et al. 2007 ); and some studies have clearly shown that mothers and fathers can differ in their parenting style (Conrade and Ho 2001 ; McKinney and Renk 2008 ; Russell et al. 1998 ). Considering how the parenting styles of both parents cluster together, therefore, aligns more closely with the real experiences of children growing up in two-parent households. Only such an approach can shed light onto possible additive and compensatory effects (Martin et al. 2007 ). For example, Simons and Conger ( 2007 ) found evidence for an additive effect as having two authoritative parents was associated with the most favorable outcomes in adolescents, as well as a compensatory effect where one parent’s authoritative parenting style generally buffered the less effective parenting style of the other parent. Similarly, McKinney and Renk ( 2008 ) suggested that in late adolescence perceiving one parent as authoritative while the other parent has a different parenting style, partly buffered for emotional adjustment problems.

Only two studies have simultaneously clustered maternal and paternal practices into joint parenting styles and examined how they are associated with child development (for other approaches, see Martin et al. 2007 ; Simons and Conger 2007 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ). Meteyer and Perry-Jenkins ( 2009 ) modeled the warmth and dysfunctional discipline practices of both parents resulting in three parenting styles that aligned with Baumrind’s typology, namely supportive parents (i.e., similar to Baumrind’s authoritative style), mixed–supportive parents (i.e., mother’s parenting style is similar to Baumrind’s ‘good enough parenting’–style and father’s to Baumrind’s authoritarian style) and non–supportive parents (i.e., similar to Baumrinds’ authoritarian style). Although insightful, this study did not incorporate aspects of psychological control; was limited to early elementary school children (6– to 7– year olds); and was based on a rather small sample size (85 families). McKinney and Renk ( 2008 ) identified four joint parenting styles in their cluster analyses using late adolescents’ (18–22 years) reports of authoritative, authoritarian, and permissive parenting: congruent authoritative (i.e., an authoritative parenting style by both parents), congruent authoritarian (i.e., an authoritarian parenting style by both parents), an authoritarian father–authoritative mother combination, and a permissive father–authoritarian mother combination. This study used ratings of parenting styles as input for cluster analysis leaving the role of separate parenting dimensions unclear.

We aimed to extend the existing research on the well-known parenting styles concept by identifying joint parenting styles in an exploratory manner using data on three major parenting dimensions (i.e., support, behavioral control and psychological control) and their associations with child behavioral outcomes in a large sample of mothers and fathers raising elementary school children. In particular, we first examined whether the configuration of exploratory identified parenting styles differed when the – often neglected – psychological control dimension was considered in addition to the support and behavioral control dimensions. Secondly, we identified how parenting practices of mothers and fathers clustered together into joint parenting styles. We were particularly interested in exploring whether similarity or dissimilarity would depict the joint parenting styles. Incongruence could be expected from attachment or gender theories that particularly stress differences between parents’ roles, while assortative or socialization processes could result in highly congruent parenting styles. Thirdly, we associated these joint parenting styles to child behavioral outcomes. For incongruent parenting styles, we particularly examined whether the different parenting styles may buffer each other’s impact on child outcomes. For congruent parenting styles, we looked at additive effects in which parents’ (very) similar styles may reinforce each other’s impact on child outcomes.

Participants

Participants were 600 Flemish families with an elementary-school child (301 boys; 299 girls). The children’s age ranged from 8 to 10 years ( M =  9.27, SD  = 0.83). For 556 children both parents participated, while for the remaining children only the mother ( n  = 40) or father ( n  = 4) took part in the study. The participating mothers and fathers were on average 38.09 ( SD  = 4.00) and 40.39 years old ( SD  = 4.85), respectively. Most parents received 12 to 15 years of education. The vast majority of children (92%) were of Belgian origin (i.e., children and both parents born in Belgium). The remaining children mostly originated from another European country ( n =  28); a limited number had an African ( n  = 7), US ( n  = 4), Middle East ( n =  1), Asian ( n =  1) or unknown origin ( n  = 7). Most children (84%) lived in traditional two-parent families with married biological parents; others belonged to a blended family (5%), a household with shared custody (2%), or a single-parent household (9%). In this study, we focused on the subsample of families for which both parents consented to participate. Of the initial 556 families, data were available for a final sample of 527 families due to some non-response.

We used data on parenting collected in a Flemish large-scale study on social determinants of child psychosocial functioning including three cohorts: 8–, 9– and 10– year olds. To safeguard representativeness, a two-stage proportional stratified random sample of elementary school children enrolled in mainstream Flemish schools was drawn. In a first stage, 195 Flemish schools were randomly selected taking into account the distribution of schools across the five Flemish provinces and the Brussels region of which 55 schools agreed to participate. In a second stage, 913 children (2nd to 4th grade) were randomly selected within the participating schools. Parents received an introductory letter and consent form via the teachers. Informed consent to participate in the study was obtained for 600 families with both parents participating for 556 children. We used information on parenting practices collected from both parents. The parents received their questionnaires via the teacher during the second trimester and were asked to complete them individually and independently of each other. Given that 583 mothers (98%), and 538 fathers (96%) actually completed the questionnaire, non-response was fairly low.

Parental behavioral control

Parental behavioral control was operationalized via 19 items of the subscales Rules (8 items; α mother  = 0.79; α father  = 0.82)), Discipline (6 items; α mother  = 0.78; α father  = 0.80) and Harsh Punishment (5 items; α mother  = 0.76; α father  = 0.80) of the Ghent Parental Behavior Scale (Van Leeuwen and Vermulst 2004 ). Each item was scored on a 5–point Likert scale from 1 = never true to 5 = always true. The subscale Rules reflects the extent to which parents provide rules for their children’s behavior (e.g., “I teach my child that it is important to behave properly”; “I teach my child to obey rules”). The subscale Discipline pertains to effective punishments after unwanted behavior (e.g., ‘…taking away something nice’; ‘… give him/her a chore for punishment); whereas the subscale Harsh Punishment points towards parental physical punishment when children misbehave (e.g., “I slap my child in the face when he/she misbehaves”; “I spank my child when he/she doesn’t obey rules”; “I shake my child when we have a fight”). We included multiple subscales to represent the multidimensional nature of the behavioral control dimension, as demonstrated by others (Van Leeuwen and Vermulst 2004 ). In addition, we consider aspects of adequate (i.e., subscales Rules and Discipline) and inadequate behavioral control (i.e., subscale Harsh Punishment) in this study, given the differential association with child outcomes. While the first has been linked to positive child development, the latter has commonly been associated with negative child outcomes. Correlations between maternal and paternal reports were moderate for the subscales Rules ( r  = .31; p <  .001) and Discipline ( r  = 0.47; p <  0.001), but strong for the subscale Harsh Punishment ( r  = 0.52; p <  0.001). Within each parent, weak-to-moderate positive correlations were found between the subscales Rules and Discipline ( r mother  = 0.32; r father  = 0.26; p <  0.001); weak positive correlations between the subscales Discipline and Harsh Punishment ( r mother  = 0.22; r father  = 0.22; p <  0.001); and small negative correlations between the subscales Rules and Harsh Punishment ( r mother  = −0.14, p  = 0.009; r father  = −0.11; p =  0.001).

Parental support

Parental support was operationalized by 11 items (1 = never true to 5 = always true) of the subscale Positive Parenting of the Ghent Parental Behavior Scale (Van Leeuwen and Vermulst 2004 ). This subscale (α mother  = 0.85; α father  = 0.88) pertains to parental involvement, positive reinforcement and problem solving (e.g., “I make time to listen to my child, when he/she wants to tell me something”; “I give my child a compliment, hug, or a tap on the shoulder as a reward for good behavior”). Maternal and paternal reports were moderately correlated ( r  = 0.35, p <  0.001).

Parental psychological control

Parents assessed their own psychologically controlling behavior by means of a Dutch version of the Psychological Control Scale (Barber 1996 ; Kuppens et al. 2009a ) via a 5–point Likert scale from 1 = never true to 5 = always true. This scale (α mother  = 0.70; α father =  0.71) included 8 items pertaining to invalidating feelings, constraining verbal expressions, personal attack, and love withdrawal (e.g., “I am less friendly with my child when (s)he doesn’t see things my way”; “If my child has hurt my feelings, I don’t speak to him/her until (s)he pleases me again”; “I change the subject when my child has something to say”). Correlations between maternal and paternal reports were moderate ( r  = 0.32, p <  0.001).

Child behavioral outcomes

Both parents completed the 20-item Dutch Strengths and Difficulties Questionnaire (SDQ; van Widenfelt et al. 2003 ) using a 3–point scale in order to assess child psychosocial behavior (0 = not true to 2 = certainly true). Externalizing problems were operationalized via the subscales Conduct Problems (5 items; α mother  = .60; α father  = 0.61) and Hyperactivity (5 items; α mother =  0.80; α father  = 0.76), while internalizing problems were reflected by the subscale Emotional Symptoms (5 items; α mother =  0.73; α father  = 0.72). We also included the subscale on Prosocial Behavior (5 items; α mother =  0.67; α father  = 0.64). Because high correlations ( r =  0.54–0.71; p <  0.001) between mother and father reports was obtained, an average parental score was created for each subscale.

Data Analyses

To identify joint parenting styles, we conducted cluster analysis in MATLAB. Cluster analysis is an overarching term for procedures used to identify groups or clusters of individuals based on their scores on a number of variables (Everitt et al. 2001 ). Greater similarity emerges between individuals of the same cluster (or who lie geometrically closer according to some distance measure) than between individuals from different clusters (Steinly and Brusco 2011 ). We first ran a cluster analysis based on the four parenting subscales of mothers and fathers (i.e., eight variables as input) that reflect parental support and parental behavioral control to identify joint parenting styles based on these two parenting dimensions (i.e., without considering parental psychological control). To gain insight into the role of parental psychological control in identifying joint parenting styles, we subsequently conducted a cluster analysis on all five parenting subscales of mothers and fathers (i.e., ten variables as input) representing the three parenting dimensions.

We used the conceptual framework of Milligan for a stepwise implementation of cluster analysis (Steinly & Brusco 2011 ) by (1) determining the observations to be clustered; (2) selecting the variables to be included in the clustering procedure; (3) determining whether and how the selected variables should be standardized; (4) selecting a cluster algorithm and association measure (e.g., a distance measure); (5) determining the number of clusters; and (6) validating clustering (i.e., interpretation, testing, and replication). During steps 1 through 3, we performed analyses on the sum scores of the different parenting subscales which were standardized to give each variable equal weight in the analysis. In step 4, we chose Mac Queens K–means cluster algorithm which aims to identify K –clusters with the largest possible between–cluster differences and the smallest possible within–cluster differences (Everitt et al. 2001 ), while the value of K is specified by the user. K-means consists of a reallocation procedure by which persons, starting from an initial random or rational clustering, are reallocated in clusters as long as this yields a decrease in the loss function (i.e., sum of squared Euclidean distance from the corresponding cluster mean). Because the resulting clustering strongly depends on the initial clustering (Steinley 2003 ), we used 1000 random starts and retained the clustering with the lowest loss function value. To determine the optimal number of clusters in step 5, or in other words to define the value of K , we used the CHull procedure (Ceulemans and Kiers 2006 ; Wilderjans et al. 2013 ). CHull is an automated model selection procedure that scans a complexity versus fit plot to find the model with the best complexity versus fit balance. Applied to K-means clustering, this means that we look for the model after which allowing for additional clusters does not substantially decrease the loss function. To interpret the resulting clusters (step 6), we visually inspected the pattern emerging in the cluster profile plots. When comparing the cluster-specific profile scores between parents, we focused on the position of the corresponding profile scores compared to zero (i.e., the standardized mean of the sample) and differences in its substantial interpretation. For example, the terms above and below average mean that a parent scores higher or lower than the standardized mean of the sample.

To assess the validity of the empirically identified joint parenting styles representing all parenting dimensions, we examined their association with child behavioral outcomes via four analyses of variance (ANOVA) using SPSS Version 23 with the SDQ-subscales as dependent variables and the identified joint parenting styles based on the three parenting dimensions as the independent variable. Analyses of residuals did not reveal meaningful violations of model assumptions.

In the following sections, the empirically identified joint parenting styles based on the four subscales reflecting the two parenting dimensions ‘support’ and ‘behavioral control’ are first presented; followed by the results of analyses also considering ‘parental psychological control’ as input behavior. We end with linking the identified joint parenting styles based on three parenting dimensions to child behavioral outcomes.

Clusters with Two Parenting Dimensions

In a first step, we conducted a K –means cluster analysis on the maternal and paternal ratings only using the four parental support and behavioral support subscales for each parent (i.e., eight variables) as input, representing the two parenting dimensions. The analysis was conducted for 1 to 8 clusters each with a 1000 random starts. The corresponding number of clusters versus loss function plot is shown in Fig. ​ Fig.1. 1 . Applying the CHull procedure to this plot pointed towards a solution with four clusters.

Number of clusters vs. loss function plots for the cluster analyses based on the two parenting dimensions (left) and on the three parenting dimensions (right)

Parents belonging to the first cluster (Fig. ​ (Fig.2) 2 ) scored above average on positive parenting, rules and discipline; and scored below average on harsh punishment. A visual inspection of the cluster plot did not reveal notable differences between mothers and fathers. These parents show warmth and involvement in their interaction with their child, but at the same time set clear rules and expectations for children’s behavior. They also discipline the child’s undesirable behavior, but rarely use strict physical punishment when doing so. Because these parents demonstrate elevated support and (adequate) behavioral control levels, we labeled this parenting style as the congruent authoritative parenting style.

Cluster profiles of the analysis based on two parenting dimensions

Parents belonging to the second cluster (Fig. ​ (Fig.2) 2 ) also scored above average on positive parenting and rules, but clearly below average on effective (subscale Discipline) and harsh disciplining (subscale Harsh Punishment). Based on a visual inspection, levels of positive parenting and providing rules of mothers seemed somewhat higher, while effective discipline was somewhat lower compared to fathers, but the substantive interpretation was similar across parents. These parents show warmth and involvement in their parenting while also setting clear rules for children’s behavior, yet they hardly discipline their child in any manner after showing unwanted behavior. Because these parents showed elevated support levels combined with aspects of behavioral control that focus on promoting desired behavior (instead of discouraging unwanted behavior), we labeled this cluster as the congruent positive authoritative parenting style.

The third cluster (Fig. ​ (Fig.2) 2 ) included parents who scored clearly above average on harsh punishment, above average on discipline, and below average on positive parenting and rules; without any notable visual differences between mothers and fathers. These parents are therefore less warm and involved in the relationship with their child. Their parenting is particularly characterized by strict physical punishment following unwanted behavior, without setting clear rules for their children’s behavior. This cluster reflected the congruent authoritarian parenting style .

A fourth cluster (Fig. ​ (Fig.2) 2 ) was identified that yielded below average scores for both parents on all subscales; without salient visual differences between mothers and fathers. These parents do not show marked warmth and involvement with their child, and also do not prominently provide rules or discipline unwanted behavior. Because these parents demonstrated below average scores on both dimensions, we labeled this cluster as a congruent uninvolved parenting style.

Clusters with Three Parenting Dimensions

In a second step, we performed the same K –means cluster analysis, but now psychological control was included as a third parenting dimension. The analysis was again conducted for 1 to 8 clusters each time using 1000 random starts. Applying the CHull procedure to the number of clusters versus loss function plot (Fig. ​ (Fig.1) 1 ) pointed toward a solution with 2 or 3 clusters. However, to enable comparisons between the cluster solution based on the two parenting dimensions, we again selected the solution with four clusters of which the cluster profiles are visualized in Fig. ​ Fig.3 3 .

Cluster profiles of the analysis based on three parenting dimensions

When comparing both cluster solutions, a remarkable similarity in the cluster profiles was observed with the cluster scores on parental psychological control for the congruent authoritative, congruent positive authoritative and congruent authoritarian parenting styles covarying with scores on harsh punishment. These three clusters could thus be interpreted and labeled in a similar manner as earlier. For the congruent uninvolved parenting styles, the pattern for parental support and behavioral control remained fairly unchanged, but both showed slightly above-average psychological control scores. It seems that these parents are thus less supportive and behavioral controlling, yet showing somewhat elevated levels of psychologically intrusive practices. As such, we relabeled the congruent uninvolved cluster as a congruent intrusive parenting style. Adding the psychological control dimension slightly enlarged the differences between the scores of mothers and fathers within each parenting style, but the substantive interpretation remained similar across parents

Given the substantial similarity in emerging parenting styles after including two or three parenting dimensions, we computed the agreement in classification of the corresponding parents. Analyses revealed that parents were generally assigned to the same parenting style if psychological control was taken into account, (Cramer’s V  = .87). Note that the agreement was substantial regardless of the retained number of clusters (2 clusters: V =  .77; 3 clusters: V =  .86; 5 clusters: V =  .83; 6 clusters: V =  .69; 7 clusters: V =  .68; 8 clusters: V =  .65).

Parenting Styles and Child Behavioral Outcomes

The four joint parenting styles were associated to significantly different behavioral outcomes: Prosocial Behavior [ F (3, 520) = 20.15, p <  0.001, R 2 = 0.10]; Hyperactivity [ F (3, 520) = 12.98, p <  0.001, R 2 =  0.07]; Emotional Symptoms [ F (3, 520) = 3.77, p =  .011, R 2 = 0.02]; and Conduct Problems [ F (3, 520) = 20.15, p <  0.001, R 2 = 0.10]. The mean subscale score per joint parenting style are presented in Fig. ​ Fig.4. 4 . To gain more insight into the nature of the differences, pairwise contrasts (Tukey–Kramer) were computed for each ANOVA.

Mean subscale scores on child behavioral outcomes per parenting style

For each child behavioral outcome, a significant difference ( p  < 0.05) was established between the congruent authoritarian parenting style and at least one other parenting style. Children of authoritarian parents demonstrated more negative (i.e., hyperactivity, conduct problems, emotional symptoms) and less positive (i.e., prosocial behavior) child outcomes compared to children whose parents belonged to another parenting style. For conduct problems, the associated standardized mean difference involving authoritarian parents was most pronounced compared to positive authoritative parents ( d =  1.06, p <  0.001), whereas a medium difference (range d =  0.67 – 0.73, p <  .001) with the authoritative and intrusive parenting styles was found. Similarly, for hyperactivity standardized mean differences involving authoritarian parents were large ( d =  0.85, p <  0.001) compared to positive authoritative parents; and medium (range d =  0.60 – 0.63, p <  0.001) compared to authoritative and intrusive parents. Standardized mean differences involving authoritarian parents were large (range d =  0.83–0.93, p <  0.001) for prosocial behavior, but only a small difference ( d =  0.37, p =  0.031) with the intrusive parenting style emerged. Standardized mean differences for emotional symptoms between the authoritarian parenting style were small in magnitude (range d =  0.40 – 0.43, p <  0.05), except for a non-significant ( d =  0.28, p =  0.159) difference with the intrusive parenting style.

In addition, the congruent positive authoritative parenting style yielded significantly lower conduct problem levels in children (range d =  0.33 – 0.39, p <  0.05) compared to authoritative and intrusive parents. In contrast, significantly less prosocial child behavior (range d =  0.46–0.56, p ≤  0.001) was found for the congruent intrusive parenting style compared to (positive) authoritative parents.

With this study, we aimed to add to the parenting styles literature by identifying empirically derived joint parenting styles based on data regarding the three major parenting dimensions as perceived by both mothers and fathers raising elementary school children. These resulting joint parenting styles were subsequently associated with child behavioral outcomes. As highlighted in the introduction, the commonly used parenting typologies have a theoretical underpinning, although empirical studies have generally identified three or four similar parenting styles. Our empirically derived parenting styles based on the two parenting dimensions Support and Behavioral Control bear resemblance to the initial authoritative, authoritarian, and neglectful parenting styles, yet some differences also emerged.

The authoritative parenting style was further broken down into a disciplinary and non-disciplinary subtype. Similarly, although differences between parents within each parenting style were minor, they were more pronounced for the non-disciplinary than for the disciplinary control strategies. These findings highlight that all parenting practices aimed at controlling, managing or regulating child behavior are not necessarily simultaneously used by the same parent, suggesting that considering a variety of parenting practices is crucial to identifying naturally occurring parenting substyles. Some parents seem to provide clear rules, guidelines and expectations for child behavior, but hardly have deviant child behavior followed by an effective disciplinary strategy. One subgroup appears to reflect parents that mostly adopt positive parenting practices (i.e., high support, high rule setting), whereas another subgroup uses a combination of positive (i.e., high support, high rule setting) and negative (i.e., high effective discipline) parenting practices. The latter closely resembles the authoritative parenting style as originally defined (Baumrind 1966 , 1967 , 1971 ), while the former clustering aligns more with a second–order positive dimension obtained in research adopting a variable–oriented approach (Van Leeuwen et al. 2004 ).

In this study, the positive dimension tapped into parenting practices such as parental involvement, positive reinforcement, rule setting, and autonomy–stimulating behavior, while the negative dimensions pertained to negatively controlling efforts such as effective discipline, ignoring or harsh punishment following children’s unwanted behavior. In the uninvolved parenting style, parenting practices bear a resemblance to the neglectful parenting style given the below average scores on all subscales suggesting that parents show less warmth, place fewer restraints on and display little monitoring of children’s behavior. However, we did not identify extreme low scores on parenting dimensions that would suggest a truly neglectful parenting style as originally defined; thus an uninvolved parenting style seems a more appropriate label. Although parent self-reports could overestimate scores of positive parenting and underestimate scores of negative parenting due to social desirability bias, it should be noted that a previous study using adolescent reports also did not find extreme scores for the parenting style clusters (McKinney and Renk 2008 ).

We were not able to empirically identify the originally proposed permissive parenting style reflecting parents that are very loving, warm and involved (high support), yet have relatively few rules for children’s behavior and hardly discipline (low behavioral control). This finding diverges from some previous empirical studies in which the latter parenting style did emerge using an a theoretical (Aunola et al. 2000 ; Carlson and Tanner 2006 ; Shucksmith et al. 1995 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ) or empirical clustering approach (McKinney and Renk 2008 ). Our operationalization of the support dimension via the positive parenting subscale of the Ghent Parental Behavior Scale could underlie this divergent finding, because the subscale does not only pertain to warm and responsive parenting practices, but also includes items on problem solving. In contrast to other studies tapping only into warmth and responsiveness, lower scores on solving problems together with the child can attenuate overall scores on parental support. As a result, the pronounced scores on parental support which typify a permissive parenting style may have been somewhat masked in the present study. Alternatively, the parent self-reports may not accurately reflect their actual parenting practices due to a social desirability bias, hampering the identification of the permissive parenting style.

Regarding the role of psychological control in empirically deriving parenting styles, cluster analyses revealed a very similar configuration with four parenting styles when parental psychological control was taken into account. Thus, its addition did not lead to the identification of additional parenting styles, but the third parenting dimension did enhance our understanding. Results clearly pointed toward a substantial overlap between parental psychological control and parental harsh punishment for the congruent authoritarian, authoritative and positive authoritative parenting styles. This finding coincides with research suggesting that inadequate behavior control (e.g., physical punishment) and psychological control by parents are correlated, whereas parental psychological control and adequate behavioral control are considered orthogonal dimensions (Barber 1996 ; Gray andand Steinberg 1999 ; Steinberg 1990 ). For example, Pettit et al. ( 2001 ) found that parental psychological control was preceded in adolescence by harsh, restrictive disciplinary parenting during childhood. Barber and Harmon ( 2002 ) have further argued that parental psychological control may be a marker of a hostile and dysfunctional parent – child relationship, including the use of harsh disciplinary parenting practices.

For the congruent uninvolved parenting style, including parental psychological control actually led to an improved understanding of the previously considered uninvolved parents. As it turned out these parents did use psychologically controlling strategies to some extent, regardless of their lower levels on the other parenting dimension. This pattern could mean that in the parents–child relationship these parents are not so much concerned with the child and their behavior, but with manipulating children’s thoughts, emotions, and feelings to fit their own. It is commonly recognized that by using psychologically controlling strategies, parents intrude into children’s ‘psychological world’, exert parental authority over the children’s own life, and intervene in the individuation process (Barber and Xia 2013 ; Steinberg 2005 ). A recent study by Zhang et al. ( 2015 ) also demonstrated that parental psychological control indeed positively correlated with parent–centered intentions, implying that parents intend to satisfy their own needs by applying controlling behaviors with their children.

Several theories point towards differences in parenting between mother and father (McKinney and Renk 2008 ). For example, psychoanalytic theory argues that mothers are children’s primary attachment figure whereas a greater distance between fathers and their children occurs; the gender and role theory link differences in child rearing to male and female characteristics (e.g., expressiveness and instrumentality) with the traditional mother role as caring figures and fathers taking on the role of authority figure and family provider. The literature also indicates that differences in parenting between mothers and fathers may arise if one parent wants to compensate for the other parent (Meteyer and Perry-Jenkins 2009 ; Simons and Conger 2007 ). Nonetheless, our results revealed more similarities than dissimilarities in the parenting styles of both parents, despite small-to-moderate correlations between mother and father reports. These similarities may reflect an assortative process when choosing a partner, meaning that people tend to look for a partner with similar characteristics (Botwin et al. 1997 ; Buss 1984 , 1985 ; Larsen and Buss 2010 ). Similarity in parenting could also result from socialization processes (Simons and Conger 2007 ); through a process of mutual influence or reciprocity partners gradually form similar views and beliefs on parenting. The slight differences that emerged pertained particularly to a dissimilar position on positive parenting and rule setting. Although less pronounced, this finding aligns with the study by Meteyer and Perry-Jenkins ( 2009 ) that yielded congruent parenting styles for mothers and fathers of 7-year old children, except for a dissimilar position on self-reported parental warmth. Another study using adolescent reports of parenting (McKinney and Renk 2008 ) found more pronounced sex differences. Perhaps sex differences in parenting styles become more apparent as children grow older or when children’s perspectives are considered.

Results on associations between the joint parenting styles and child behavioral outcomes indicated that children of two authoritarian parents showed the poorest behavioral outcomes. These children were perceived as showing significantly more internalizing and externalizing problem behavior and less prosocial behavior compared to children of parents adopting other parenting styles. In contrast, children of two positive authoritative parents demonstrated the lowest levels of conduct problems. These findings could suggest an additive effect in which the impact of similar parenting styles is reinforced as having two authoritarian and two positive authoritative parents was associated with the least and most favorable child behavioral outcomes, respectively.

The obtained associations between parenting styles and child behavioral outcomes partially align with previous research. Firstly, it has repeatedly been demonstrated that an authoritative parenting style coincides most with positive developmental outcomes in children (e.g., Aunola et al. 2000 ; Baumrind 1967 , 1971 , 1989 , 1991 , Darling and Steinberg 1993 ; Dornbusch et al. 1987 ; Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Querido et al. 2002 ; Shucksmith et al. 1995 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ; Steinberg et al. 1992 ). Our findings confirm this pattern for the children having parents who employ an authoritative parenting style, but children with parents both using a positive authoritative parenting style even showed less conduct problems. This finding could point towards the value of rule setting – in contrast to disciplinary strategies – in preventing behavioral problems. However, as parenting is a reciprocal process with children and parents mutually influencing each other, it is equally likely that parents show less disciplinary strategies simply because their children pose fewer behavior problems as demonstrated by others (Kerr et al. 2012 ; Kuppens et al. 2009b ; Laird et al. 2003 ).

Secondly, previous research has repeatedly linked an authoritarian parenting style with externalizing and internalizing behavior problems in children (e.g., Hoeve et al. 2008 ; Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ; Williams et al. 2009 ; Wolfradt et al. 2003 ). The present findings extend this body of research, although the association was most pronounced for externalizing behavior problems which may be due to children’s age (8 to 10 year olds). In younger children, having authoritarian parents may be more strongly associated with externalizing problem behavior, whereas the association with internalizing problems only emerges as children grow older. The shift in the nature of behavior problems as children age has been linked to the physical, cognitive and social maturation of children and the associated changes in social demands and expectations.

Thirdly, the neglectful parenting style has been associated with the poorest developmental outcomes in children (Baumrind 1991 ; Lamborn et al. 1991 ; Mandara and Murray 2002 ; Shucksmith et al. 1995 ; Steinberg et al. 1994 ). As this parenting style did not emerge in the present study, we were not able to model its association with child outcomes. Even children having parents who were less involved, but intrusive, were doing better than children having authoritarian parents. Findings did reveal that prosocial behavior and conduct problems were significantly lower for children having parents who adopted an intrusive parenting style compared to children of (positive) authoritarian parents. This findings coincides with a growing body of evidence on the deleterious of impact of psychologically controlling parenting in children and adolescents adopting a variable approach (Barber et al. 2005 ; Kuppens et al. 2013 ; Soenens et al. 2012 ), but likewise extends this evidence-base with person-oriented findings on the impact of an intrusive parenting style on child development.

Limitations and Future Research

Although the present study has several merits, it falls short in that only parent self-reports were used to assess parenting and child behavioral outcomes; children’s perspective on their parenting practices may be quite different. For example, Smetana ( 1995 ) found that adolescents perceived their parents as being more permissive and authoritarian compared to parents’ own view on the matter, whereas parents perceived themselves as being more authoritative than their adolescent children. Although a significant convergence between child and parent reports on parenting dimensions has been established in elementary school (Kuppens et al. 2009a ), future research should explicitly take a multiple informant approach when identifying parenting styles as informant perspectives on parenting styles in this age period may differ. In a related vein, multiple informant assessments of child behavioral problems have been shown to be context–specific with differences occurring according to the context (e.g., home, school) that forms the basis for informant’s assessment (Achenbach et al. 1987 ). Involving informants other than parents in the assessment of child behavioral outcomes therefore seems particularly interesting in future research on parenting styles.

Furthermore, inspecting a normally developing sample generally results into a low occurrence of inadequate parenting practices and child behavioral problems. Studying parenting styles in a clinical sample could certainly supplement this view because more variation in parenting practices may yield more or different parenting styles. Hoeve et al. ( 2008 ) have conducted one of the few studies using a sample of children with a high or low risk of antisocial and behavioral problems; and they were able to identify a neglectful parenting style. In addition, the role of parental psychological control in identifying parenting styles may be more pronounced in a clinical sample; an issue that to date remains unresolved.

The present sample closely resembled the population distribution with regard to family composition and paternal educational level, but it was rather homogeneous for ethnicity and mothers were more highly educated. As such, the present findings may not generalize to minority groups or families with less educated mothers; an issue that should be resolved by future studies. For example, previous research has demonstrated that harsh punishment and psychological control are more common among lower SES parents (e.g., Eamon 2001 ; El‐Sheikh et al. 2010 ) and that Caucasian caregivers were more prevalent in an authoritative parenting style cluster (van der Horst and Sleddens 2017 ). The present study clearly complements the scarce body of research on naturally occurring joint parenting styles conducted in US samples, but additional research is needed to replicate these findings. Moreover, as parenting occurs within a cultural belief system that influences attitudes towards particular parenting practices (Durrant et al. 2003 ), cross-cultural research could further clarify the role of culture in identifying naturally occurring (joint) parenting styles incorporating three parenting dimensions. Finally, the cross-sectional associations among joint parenting styles and child outcomes should be complemented by longitudinal research to gain more insight into the directionality of these associations. Longitudinal research covering the entire childhood and adolescence period could also increase our understanding of age-of-child and sex-of parent differences in naturally occurring parenting styles.

Despite these limitations, this study adds to the literature by further empirically validating well-known parenting styles and by increasing our understanding of the role of parental psychological control and joint parenting. The overlap between harsh punishment and parental psychological control in congruent parenting styles and its unique role in the uninvolved parenting style suggests that this intrusive parenting dimension should be routinely considered in practice settings. We also found that adequate behavior controlling practices may be particularly interesting in preventing behavioral problems; and that not only an authoritarian but also a (psychologically) intrusive parenting style can impede upon child development.

Author Contributions

SK: designed and executed the study, conducted part of the data-analysis, and wrote the paper. EC: conducted the cluster analyses, and collaborated in the writing and editing of the final manuscript.

Conflict of Interest

The authors declare that they have no conflict of interest.

Ethical Approval

All procedures performed in this study were in accordance with the ethical standards of the KU Leuven (University of Leuven) and with the 1964 Helsinki declaration and its later amendments or comparable ethical standards.

Informed Consent

Informed consent was obtained from all individual participants included in the study.

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If you don’t live near your village, here’s how to create one 

Natalia Lebedinskaia/Shutterstock

Do whatever it takes to get the support you need because raising children is not easy and you shouldn’t have to do it on your own.

By Kate Dalton May 27, 2024

In late 2023, I had my second child . My first was born at the height of the pandemic in 2020, an event that challenged both new and seasoned parents alike. My saving grace during Covid was living in the same city as my parents, who were happy to provide me with some respite when I needed a shower or nap in the early newborn days and who would help entertain my daughter as she grew into an active toddler. In 2022, we moved to a new city, a 10 hour drive from my parents. While we still see them with visits throughout the year, I no longer had someone I could call for hands-on support in my daily life. Further complicating the matter, the new baby would not take a bottle and disliked sleeping anywhere but my arms. Breaks from caregiving were (and still are) few and far between.

Related: I miss the village of motherhood I never got to experience

We’ve all heard the old adage “ it takes a village to raise a child,” but what if you don’t have one? You might just need to build your own. Here’s how I’ve managed to navigate through the commonly difficult stages of new motherhood with the village I pieced together for myself.

How to create your village

Daycare providers.

I’ve kept my oldest child in daycare (IYKYK). While still very sleep deprived and cursing under my breath as I haul the baby’s car seat up the steep stairs that lead to where I drop my eldest at her classroom, it is much easier at this stage to not have to split my attention between 2 kids all day, and it helps my toddler burn some of her never-ending energy. In certain areas, mine included, there are grants and subsidies available for childcare, some of which are still accessible while on maternity leave. A bonus of having a kid in daycare is the opportunity to forge connections with the other parents.

Community programs

The public library has become my second home during maternity leave. Most communities have a local branch that is free or low-cost to join and many offer programs that you can bring your baby or toddler to. I take advantage of the weekly baby laptime classes and have met many moms in similar stages of life. Some of them even invited me into a group chat to coordinate play dates and other activities together. In addition to libraries, you may also find free and family-friendly classes at local recreation facilities, boys and girls clubs or family support associations.

Related: ‘The village’ is great, but the ‘parenting safety net’ is better

Faith-based or special interest groups

When we moved, we found a new church and it allowed me to be introduced to a whole new set of families and other moms that I could connect with. They even put together a “meal train” for me after I had the baby. I often attend or host play dates with women I have met through our church. If you’re not religious, there are often other parenting or “mommy and me” groups  you can join that are focused on shared interests like exercise, child development, mental health, etc.

Online groups

There are plenty of online communities that offer support for parents ranging from region-based Facebook groups for moms to specialized apps like Peanut that have been created to connect moms who are living in the same city and looking for new friends in a similar stage of life. You will also often find webinars and online events for new parents coordinated by government or health authorities, small business owners or child development experts or specialists. I’ve participated in webinars and posted questions on mom groups. It’s comforting to have these resources right at your fingertips, especially when you’re “nap trapped” with your cell phone in hand. I’ve also taken advantage of online therapy to help navigate the rough waters of motherhood—if you don’t have coverage through insurance, you may be able to access free counseling through government or community funded programs.

Related: Here’s the truth, mama: We never stop needing our village

There are so many routes you can take to start building your own village and circle of support whether virtually or IRL. These are just a few that may work for you. If you’re in a small area with limited community resources, you might consider starting a parent or mom group yourself. Do whatever it takes to get the support you need because raising children is not easy and you shouldn’t have to do it on your own. 

This story is a part of The Motherly Collective contributor network where we showcase the stories, experiences and advice from brands, writers and experts who want to share their perspective with our community. We believe that there is no single story of motherhood, and that every mother's journey is unique. By amplifying each mother's experience and offering expert-driven content, we can support, inform and inspire each other on this incredible journey. If you're interested in contributing to The Motherly Collective please click here .

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