managing emotions essay

How to Manage Your Emotions

The life lesson we should have been taught at school.

Posted August 14, 2017 | Reviewed by Matt Huston

We all suffer from emotional overreactions. In the heat of the moment we say something to a person we love without stopping to consider the shockwaves. Or we blast off an email and wonder why we didn’t sleep on it before pressing Send. Our emotions spill over and, by the time they recede, the damage is done.

In the public domain, barely a day passes without newspapers splashing the story that a comment, tweet or email has caused an uproar. Demands are made for heads to roll, and responses range from retractions ("I apologise unreservedly for my lack of judgement ...") to defiance ("This is a ridiculous case of political correctness…"). And then the next story breaks.

The converse situation is that we feel gripped by fear or anxiety and fail to seize the moment to speak up or act according to our values. The consequences of freezing can be just as deleterious as those of overreacting, and sometimes more so. Either way, managing our emotions is a tricky business.

When we look back on these situations our stock explanation is, "My emotions got the better of me." But this raises a serious question: Am I in charge of my emotions, or are they in charge of me? Nobody asked me this question at school, or told me the answer. Consequently I stumbled into the adult world with a royal flush of emotions – ranging from joy and excitement to fear and anger – without a manual for how to live with them.

The truth is that we’ve ended up with a tangled mess of advice in this area. Much of the prevailing literature tells us to squash negative emotions and replace them with positive ones. Other experts tell us this is tantamount to putting icing on dog food and calling it cake. So who, if anyone, is right?

To navigate through this emotional battleground, we need to make some important distinctions:

We cannot turn emotions on and off like a tap. They will come and go whether we like it or not. Once this is clear in your mind, you can stop waiting for unwanted emotions to go away. The idea that we can banish them is unhelpful and doesn’t hold up to scrutiny; they are part-and-parcel of the human experience. Besides, the more we strive to live according to our values and commitments, the more our emotions will rise up to challenge us.

Emotions aren’t positive or negative. The human brain is wired to categorize things as positive or negative, and is particularly alert to threats. This made good evolutionary sense for our ancestors, who learned to react to external threats for the purposes of survival. As humans developed language, we employed the same process of classification to our internal state, including our emotions. Thus we see joy as positive, and therefore welcome, and fear as negative and unwelcome.

However, this creates new problems. On the basis that ‘what we resist persists’, suppressing emotions that we perceive to be negative only tightens their grip. So what’s the alternative? If we can experience the full range of human emotions without attaching positive and negative labels to them, the result can be hugely liberating. Take Dame Judi Dench as an example, who has won one Oscar, two Golden Globes and 10 BAFTA awards. She says that the more she acts the more frightened she becomes. In contrast to thousands of aspiring performers who are waiting for the day when they’ll overcome their fear, she treats it as a companion rather than an enemy. This is not to say that she finds her fear comfortable, but she makes no attempt to resist it, and therefore it doesn’t define her. "I have the fear," she says. "I wouldn’t be without it." Perhaps this is why her on-screen characters brim with humanity.

You are not your emotions. Emotions are, by their very nature, strong. However, it’s important to get clear that you are not your emotions. You are a person with values and commitments who happens to have emotions that are triggered on a regular and ongoing basis. This point might seem semantic, but it isn’t. When we become fused to our emotions – thinking that ‘they’ and ‘we’ are one and the same thing – we are effectively hijacked by them. If you can notice emotions without becoming them, they no longer determine your behaviour.

We always have a choice. A thought or feeling in itself doesn’t prevent you from taking any action. It’s easy to think, "I’m frightened and can’t speak," but this is a trick of the mind. It would be more accurate and authentic to say, "I’m frightened and I’m choosing not to speak." Being able to observe our emotions – even when they feel overwhelmingly powerful – creates a space in which we can reference our commitments and values. While we cannot always choose our emotions, we can choose our response to them. This gets to the heart of responsibility, and responsibility is probably the closest thing to a superpower that human beings possess.

For more in-depth information, see my books Blamestorming: Why Conversations Go Wrong and How to Fix Them, and Workstorming: Why Conversations at Work Go Wrong and How to Fix Them.

Rob Kendall has spent 25 years studying the dynamics and practices of effective conversation.

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Essays About Emotions: Top 6 Examples and Prompts

We all experience a vast range of emotions; read on to see our top examples of essays about emotions, and thought-provoking writing prompts.

Human beings use their emotions as an internal compass. They guide us through tough challenges and help create memorable moments that build relationships and communities. They give us strength that’s incomparable to intellect. They are powerful enough to drive our survival, bring down invincible-seeming tyrants, and even shape the future.

If you want to express your emotions through writing, creating an essay is a perfect way to materialize your thoughts and feelings. Read on for the best essay examples and help with your next essay about emotions.

1. Managing Emotions by Charlotte Nelson

2. how to deal with your emotions effectively by jayaram v, 3. music affects mood by delores goodwin, 4. emotions, stress, and ways to cope with them by anonymous on ivypanda, 5. essay on emotions: definition, characteristics, and importance by reshma s, 6. the most powerful emotion in marketing may surprise you by oliver yonchev, 9 writing prompts on essays about emotions to write about, 1. what are positive and negative emotions, 2. how to control and manage emotions for emotional people, 3. why it can benefit you to hide your emotions, 4. the power of emotional connection between siblings, 5. emotions make music, and music drives emotions, 6. psychopathic individuals and their emotions, 7. emotions expressed in art, 8. dance: physical expression of emotion, 9. lessons to learn from highly emotional scenes on screen.

“Emotions. They not just leave an impact on the organizations but on the organizational structure as well, and it is vital for leaders in the organization to deal with it.”

Nelson’s essay focuses on how emotions can be harmful if not managed properly. She also differentiates moods from emotions and the proper and improper emotional management methods.

“They are essential for your survival and serve a definite purpose in your life by giving you advance warning signals and alerting you to different situations.”  

Our feelings are important, and this essay points out that negative emotions aren’t always a bad thing. The important thing is we learn how to cope with them appropriately.

“So we just listen and close our eyes, and it is our song for three minutes because the singers understand.”

Goodwin’s essay explores how we feel various moods or emotions from listening to different genres of music. For example, she writes about how rock masks pain and releases daily tensions, how classical music encourages babies’ development, etc.

“Emotions play a unique role in the experiences and health outcomes of all people. A proper understanding of how to cope with emotions and stress can empower more individuals to record positive health outcomes.”

This essay incorporates stress into the topic of emotions and how to manage it. It’s no surprise that people can feel stress as a strong emotion. The essay explores the various methods of managing the two things and promoting health.

“Emotions can be understood as some sort of feelings or affective experiences which are characterized by some physiological changes that generally lead them to perform some of the other types of behavioral acts.”

Reshma uses a scientific approach to define emotion, the types of emotions, and how it works. The essay provides the characteristics of emotions, like being feeling being the core of emotion. It also included the importance of emotions and theories around them.

“The emotional part of the brain processes information five times more quickly than the rational part, which is why tapping into people’s emotions is so powerful.”

Instead of discussing emotions only, Yonchev uses his essay to write about the emotions used in marketing tactics. He focuses on how brands use powerful emotions like happiness and fear in their marketing strategies. A great example is Coca-Cola’s iconic use of marketing happiness, giving the brand a positive emotional connection to consumers.

You’ve read various essays about emotions. Now, it’s your turn to write about them. Here are essay ideas and prompts to help you find a specific track to write about.

Work out the definition of positive and negative emotions. Use this essay to provide examples of both types of emotions. For example, joy is a positive emotion, while irritation is negative. Read about emotions to back up your writing.

Depending on the scenario, many people are very open with their emotions and are quite emotional. The workplace is an example of a place where it’s better to put your emotions aside. Write an essay if you want to explore the best ways to handle your emotions during stressful moments.

You need to know when to hide your emotions, like in a poker game. Even if you don’t play poker, controlling or hiding your emotions provides some advantages. Keeping emotional reactions to yourself can help you remain professional in certain situations. Emotional reactions can also overwhelm you and keep you from thinking of a solution on the fly.

Close-knit families have powerful emotional connections to one another. Siblings have an incredibly unique relationship. You can think back to your experiences with your siblings and discuss how your relationship has driven you to be more emotionally open or distant from them.

Create a narrative essay to share your best memory with your siblings.

There’s a reason so many songs revolve around the “love at first sight” idea. A powerful emotion is something like giddiness from meeting someone for the first time and feeling love-struck by their behavior. Grief, anger, and betrayal are emotions that drive artists to create emotionally charged songs.

Some people have a misbelief that psychopaths don’t have emotions. If you’re diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) , the true definition of a psychopath in psychiatry, this is a perfect essay prompt. You can also use this if you’re studying psychology or have a keen interest in psychopathic behaviors or people around you.

Like music, art also has a deep link to emotions. People who see art have subjective reactions to it. If you’ve been given a piece of art to react to, consider writing an essay to express how you perceive and understand the piece, whether it’s a 2D abstract painting or a 3D wire sculpture.

A widely appreciated branch of art is dance. Contemporary dance is a popular way of expressing emotion today, but other types of dance are also great options. Whether classical ballroom, group hip hop, or ballet, your choice will depend on the type of dance you enjoy watching or doing. If you’re more physical or prefer watching dance, you may enjoy writing about emotional expression through dance instead of writing about art.

Do you have a favorite scene from a film or TV show? Use this essay topic to discuss your favorite scene and explain why you loved the emotional reactions of its characters. You can also compare them to a more realistic reaction.

Write a descriptive essay to describe your favorite scene before discussing the emotions involved.  

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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5 Reasons Emotions Are Important

You've got to feel your feelings

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk,  "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time.

Emotions can play an important role in how you think and behave. The emotions you feel each day can compel you to take action and influence the decisions you make about your life, both large and small.

Emotions can be short-lived, such as a flash of annoyance at a co-worker , or long-lasting, such as enduring sadness over the loss of a relationship. But why exactly do we experience emotions? What role do they serve?

What Human Emotion Are You? Take the Quiz

Emotions are a critical component of our daily lives and can often define the human experience. Take this free quiz to help you determine which emotion drives the way you experience the world and express your feelings.

This emotion quiz was medically reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS.

Where Do Emotions Come From?

Emotions are influenced by a network of interconnected structures in the brain that make up what is known as the limbic system. Key structures including the hypothalamus, the hippocampus , the amygdala, and the limbic cortex play a pivotal role in emotions and behavioral responses.

The Three Components of Emotion

In order to truly understand emotions, it is important to understand the three critical components of an emotion. Each element can play a role in the function and purpose of your emotional responses.

• Subjective component : How you experience the emotion
• Physiological component : How your body reacts to the emotion
• Expressive component : How you behave in response to the emotion

Emotions Can Motivate You to Act

When faced with a nerve-wracking exam, you might feel a lot of anxiety about whether you will perform well and how the test will impact your final grade. Because of these emotional responses , you might be more likely to study.

Since you experienced a particular emotion, you had the motivation to take action and do something positive to improve your chances of getting a good grade.

You also tend to take certain actions in order to experience positive emotions and minimize the probability of feeling negative emotions. For example, you might seek out social activities or hobbies that provide you with a sense of happiness , contentment, and excitement. On the other hand, you would probably avoid situations that might potentially lead to boredom, sadness , or anxiety .

Emotions increase the likelihood that you will take an action. When you are angry , you are likely to confront the source of your irritation. When you experience fear, you are more likely to flee the threat. When you feel love, you might seek out a partner.

Emotions Help You Avoid Danger

Naturalist Charles Darwin was one of the earliest researchers to scientifically study emotions. He believed that emotions are adaptations that allow both humans and animals to survive and reproduce.

He suggested that emotional displays could also play an important role in safety and survival. If you encountered a hissing or spitting animal, it would clearly indicate that the creature was angry and defensive, leading to you back off and avoid possible danger.

Emotions can also prepare the body to take action. The amygdala, in particular, is responsible for triggering emotional responses that prepare your body to cope with things like fear and anger.

Sometimes this fear can trigger the body's fight-or-flight response , which leads to a number of physiological responses that prepare the body to either stay and face the danger or flee to safety.

Emotions serve an adaptive role by prompting you to act quickly and take actions that will maximize your chances of survival and success.

Emotions Can Help You Make Decisions

Your emotions have a major influence on the decisions you make, from what you decide to have for breakfast to which candidates you choose to vote for in political elections.

Researchers have also found that people with certain types of brain damage affecting their ability to experience emotions also have a decreased ability to make good decisions.

Even in situations where you believe your decisions are guided purely by logic and rationality, emotions play a key role. Emotional intelligence , or your ability to understand and manage emotions, has been shown to play an important role in decision-making.

Research has found that experiencing fear increases perceptions of risk, feeling disgusted makes people more likely to discard their belongings, and feeling joy or anger causes people to leap into action.

Emotions Help Others Understand You Better

When you interact with other people, it is important to give clues to help them understand how you are feeling. These cues might involve emotional expression through body language , such as various facial expressions connected with the particular emotions you are experiencing.

In other cases, it might involve directly stating how you feel. When you tell friends or family members that you are feeling happy, sad, excited, or frightened, you are giving them important information that they can then use to take action.

Research suggests that people experience positive emotions 2.5 times more frequently than they do negative emotions.

Emotions Allow You to Understand Others

Just as your own emotions provide valuable information to others, the emotional expressions of those around you also give a wealth of social information. Social communication is an important part of your daily life and relationships, and being able to interpret and react to the emotions of others is essential.

It allows you to respond appropriately and build deeper, more meaningful relationships with your friends, family, and loved ones. It also allows you to communicate effectively in a variety of social situations, from dealing with an irate customer to managing a hot-headed employee.

Understanding the emotional displays of others gives us clear information about how we might need to respond in a particular situation.

Frequently Asked Questions

Which part of the brain processes emotions.

The emotional processing network is the group of brain regions and structures responsible for processing emotions. Parts of the brain involved in this process include the amygdala, the hippocampus, the prefrontal cortex, and the cingulate cortex.

Why are emotions an important part of decision-making?

Emotions can help a decision-maker determine which aspects of a decision are the most relevant to their specific situation. They may also help people make faster decisions.

What is the appraisal theory of emotion?

This theory suggests that emotions step from the cognitive evaluations that people make about specific events. In other words, it implies that people must think about a situation before having an emotional response.

A Word From Verywell

As you have learned, our emotions serve a wide variety of purposes. Emotions can be fleeting, persistent, powerful, complex, and even life-changing. They can motivate us to act in particular ways and give us the tools and resources we need to interact meaningfully in our social worlds.

Kozlowska K, Walker P, McLean L, Carrive P. Fear and the defense cascade: clinical implications and management .  Harv Rev Psychiatry . 2015;23(4):263-287. doi:10.1097/HRP.0000000000000065

Shaver TK, Ozga JE, Zhu B, Anderson KG, Martens KM, Vonder Haar C. Long-term deficits in risky decision-making after traumatic brain injury on a rat analog of the Iowa gambling task . Brain Research . 2019;1704:103-113. doi:10.1016/j.brainres.2018.10.004

Lerner JS, Li Y, Valdesolo P, Kassam KS. Emotion and decision making . Annu Rev Psychol . 2015;66:799-823. doi:10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115043

Hwang H, Matsumoto D. Functions of emotions . In: Biswas-Diener R, Diener E, eds. Noba Textbook Series: Psychology.  DEF Publishers; 2021.

Raschle NM, Tshomba E, Menks WM, Fehlbaum LV, Stadler C. Emotions and the brain – or how to master “the force. ”  Front Young Minds . 2016;4. doi:10.3389/frym.2016.00016

Damasio AR. Descartes' Error: Emotion, Reason, and the Human Brain. Putnam; 1994.

Darwin C. The Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals (3rd edition). Appleton; 1872.

Goleman D. Emotional Intelligence. Bantam Books; 1995.

Salmond CH, Menon DK, Chatfield DA, Pickard JD, Sahakian BJ.  Deficits in decision-making in head injury survivors . J Neurotrauma . 2005;22(6):613-622. doi:10.1089/neu.2005.22.613

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

Do You Know How to Manage Your Emotions and Why It Matters?

Olivia Guy-Evans, MSc

Associate Editor for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MSc Psychology of Education

Olivia Guy-Evans is a writer and associate editor for Simply Psychology. She has previously worked in healthcare and educational sectors.

Learn about our Editorial Process

Saul Mcleod, PhD

Editor-in-Chief for Simply Psychology

BSc (Hons) Psychology, MRes, PhD, University of Manchester

Saul Mcleod, PhD., is a qualified psychology teacher with over 18 years of experience in further and higher education. He has been published in peer-reviewed journals, including the Journal of Clinical Psychology.

On This Page:

Emotional regulation refers to the processes individuals use to manage and respond to their emotional experiences in appropriate and adaptive ways. It encompasses strategies to amplify, maintain, or decrease one’s emotional responses.

It involves a range of strategies, from cognitive reappraisal to mindfulness practices , that help individuals cope with difficult situations and have emotional control.

Effective emotion regulation has been linked to a range of positive outcomes, including improved well-being, better interpersonal relationships, and enhanced resilience in the face of stress and adversity.

Being able to regulate emotions is a skill, meaning that people often learn emotional regulation as they grow up. Some people may find it easier than others to regulate their emotions. 

Emotional regulation reflects a set of processes that influence:

• Which emotions someone has
• When they have these emotions
• How they experience and express these emotions

Emotional regulation is not to be confused with eliminating or controlling emotions but with moderating the experience of the emotions being experienced. This includes the ability to alter the intensity or duration of an emotion rather than changing it completely. 

Being able to moderate the intensity of the emotion can help to control behavior and emotional reactions. 

When an emotion is felt, for example, anger, this can be triggered when feeling threatened or powerless. 

Why is emotional regulation important?

Being able to regulate emotions is important since our emotions are closely connected to how we think and feel. Our thoughts and feelings help us to decide how best to respond to a situation and what action we should take. Essentially, emotional regulation can influence behavior. 

Learning skills to regulate our emotions means that, instead of acting impulsively and doing something that may be regretted later, we are able to make thought-out choices.

This can mean that we can learn to manage relationships with others, problem-solve, and have better control over our mental health.

If our emotions are shut down or avoided, we may struggle with powerlessness, negative thinking , ruminating, resentment, and increased frustration. This could result in the development of anxiety , depression , or physical complaints. 

Examples of common emotion regulation strategies

Below are some of the common healthy and unhealthy emotion regulation strategies that people use:

Healthy strategies

These can include the following:

• Practicing meditation or mindfulness
• Engaging in therapy
• Talking through emotions with friends
• Develop emotional intelligence skills
• Writing in a journal
• Noticing when a break is needed – having some space from others 
• Having good sleep hygiene 

Unhealthy strategies 

• Self-injurious behaviors
• Alcohol and substance abuse 
• Emotional eating
• Avoiding or withdrawing from difficult situations
• Excessive use of social media to the exclusion of other responsibilities 
• Withdrawing from others – social isolation 

What is emotion dysregulation?

Emotion dysregulation is the inability to use healthy strategies to diffuse or moderate negative emotions.

It is common for people to occasionally use less-than-ideal emotional regulation strategies. However, individuals who regularly experience overwhelming, intense, negative emotions are much more likely to rely on unhealthy strategies. 

Imagine a scenario where one of your friends does not turn up for a pre-arranged lunch with you. Instead of considering the many reasonable explanations for why this happened, this event can trigger feelings of hurt or abandonment for someone with emotional dysregulation.

They may feel intense anger or resentment, resulting in acting on these emotions, such as shouting at the friend, accusing them of being a bad friend, or withdrawing from the friendship. 

In a distressing situation, someone with inadequate emotion regulation skills experiences distress related to negative emotions and a lack of control over their emotions.

When acting on our dysregulated emotions, we can end up behaving in ways that overwhelm us further, meaning we can get stuck in a vicious emotional cycle. 

Dysregulation lies on a spectrum between underregulated and overregulated styles. Both make it hard to self-soothe and return to baseline emotional states.

Someone with dysregulated emotions may:

• Have reduced awareness and understanding of their emotions
• Have the inability to inhibit impulsive behaviors
• Have heightened, labile negative emotions
• Have a high sensitivity to emotions in a social context

Some of the common behaviors of someone with emotion dysregulation include:

• Dissociating 
• Violent outbursts
• Impulsive, reckless behavior
• Substance abuse
• Avoidance 
• Self-injurious behaviors 

What causes poor emotional regulation?

Having poor emotional regulation often comes from childhood. Below are some possible causes for why someone may struggle with regulating their emotions:

Temperament

A temperament is mainly determined by genetic inheritance and is usually stable across time and situations. It may be possible that some children develop poor emotional regulation due to their temperament. 

Differences in temperament can be observable very early in life. Some infants are calm and even-tempered, while others tend to have more intense and longer stress reactions which may contribute to poorer emotional regulation. 

Trauma is described as the experience of catastrophic affect an individual cannot process, understand, and/or integrate. The overwhelming intensity of feelings can automatically freeze or shut down consciousness.

Many people who experience trauma, especially as a child, are likely to have poor emotional regulation. Someone who experiences trauma may have inflexible strategies to help with emotions – often one way of reacting to negative emotions. 

The more trauma someone has experienced as a child, such as experiencing or witnessing abuse, the more likely they are to have severe emotional dysregulation. 

Attachment styles

Early attachment experiences shape emotion regulation abilities. Infants need caregivers to help modulate their affects through attuned bonding.

Without this, children fail to develop self-soothing capacities and instead rely on external regulation.

Insecure attachment styles involve suboptimal parental attunement. Caregivers may be inconsistent, unavailable, extreme, or invalidating.

Children internalize these dynamics, learning unhealthy regulation habits like suppression or dramatic emotionality. The encoded patterns persist into adulthood as emotion dysregulation.

Low emotional intelligence

Low emotional intelligence (EI) can lead to poor emotion regulation in several ways:

• Limited Recognition : Those with low EI may not accurately recognize their emotions, making it hard to address them appropriately.
• Misunderstanding Emotions : Without understanding the causes or triggers of emotions, it’s difficult to strategize how to handle them.
• Impulsive Reactions : Low EI can result in knee-jerk emotional reactions without thoughtful response or self-reflection.
• Difficulty in Expression : People with low EI might struggle to express their emotions constructively, leading to miscommunication or conflict.
• Reduced Empathy : A lack of EI can mean reduced empathy for others, making interpersonal conflict more likely and harder to resolve.
• Ineffective Coping Strategies : Without the insight provided by higher EI, individuals might resort to maladaptive strategies like avoidance, substance abuse, or aggression.

Related disorders

Poor emotion regulation in childhood may increase the likelihood of developing other mental health disorders .

Likewise, having a neurodevelopmental condition may come with symptoms associated with poorer emotional regulation.

The following conditions can involve some difficulties with emotional regulation:

Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

People with this disorder often have emotional sensitivity, heightened and changeable negative moods, a deficit of appropriate regulation strategies, and a surplus of maladaptive regulation strategies.

Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD)

This condition is often diagnosed in adults or children who have repeatedly experienced trauma such as violence, neglect, or abuse . In CPTSD, emotion regulation involves difficulty self-calming when distressed and chronic emotional numbing. 

Disruptive mood dysregulation disorder (DMDD)

This childhood condition can involve experiencing extreme moods and intense temper outbursts. There is often a lot of anger with this condition, irritability, and strong behaviors in response to negative emotions. 

Autism spectrum disorders (ASD)

Poor emotional regulation is a common symptom of autism. Individuals often have greater or more intense baseline levels of negative emotions or irritability, have poorer problem-solving skills, can become easily overstimulated, and may find it harder to detect other people’s emotions. 

Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)

Poor emotional regulation is a key symptom of ADHD . Individuals with this disorder may have strong reactions to small setbacks, feel their emotions more intensely than others, have difficulty calming down, and have a low tolerance for frustration or annoyance. 

The cycle of distress

Wanting to minimize or avoid strong and negative emotions is part of what is often called a ‘cycle of shame.’ This pattern often looks like the Experimental Avoidance Model by Chapman, Gratz, & Brown (2006). 

This model explains that self-harm is primarily maintained by negative reinforcement in the form of escape or avoidance of unwanted emotional experiences.

This effectively levels out the rollercoaster of emotions until the next time. This can be applied to any unhelpful coping strategy that people use instead of regulating their emotions. 

When people use these unhelpful strategies, they do not feel good about using them despite their short-term effectiveness. These tend to add to a larger sense of shame or failure that sets the stage for the whole process to begin again. This is how it can become a vicious cycle. 

Breaking the distress cycle

Changing any part of the cycle can interfere with the pattern and lead to more positive thoughts and feelings. 

Techniques such as those employed in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help you learn how to understand and work with the relationship between your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. 

Learn to pay attention to the way the thought-emotion-behavior relationship works for you, then ask yourself some questions:

• What particular ideas or thought patterns are causing a reaction in your mind?
• Which emotions do you find most difficult to endure or handle?
• What methods or actions do you take to ease your anxiety?
• To what extent do these techniques provide relief in both immediate and long-term situations?
• Are there any fundamental convictions you hold about yourself, others, or the world that have a bearing on the negative spiral?
• Alternatively, what are the thoughts and convictions that contribute the most to generating positive emotions for you?

It is important to note that there can be a variety of strategies that are used to deal with emotions, even overwhelming ones.

What happens most often is that these strategies are not applied flexibly, and someone may use the same unhelpful strategy in every negative situation.

Putting effort into questioning what thoughts you have and what coping strategies you gravitate towards is an essential step toward ending the distress cycle. 

Skills for regulating emotions

Learning emotion regulation skills will help us learn to effectively manage and change the way we feel and cope with situations.

1. Name the emotion

Attempting to avoid unpleasant thoughts and feelings can actually result in more unwanted negative thoughts and feelings.

Rather than avoiding unpleasant emotions, acknowledge their presence and name them specifically. It can be helpful to say out loud or think to yourself, ‘I am feeling sad/angry/afraid.

If you are uncertain about what emotion you are feeling, you can use a ‘Feelings Wheel,’ which displays many of the primary and secondary emotions one may feel. 

Naming the emotion often leads to the emotion losing its power. It can allow us to let go of some of the pain and discomfort that accompany the unpleasant emotion.

2. Recognize and understand the emotion

It makes sense to believe that people who are unclear about their emotions are also less aware and less clear about their psychological needs. 

A way in which you can become more aware of what you are feeling is to pay attention to what you are experiencing physiologically in your body.

For instance, you may have an unsettled feeling in your stomach when feeling anxious, or you may feel a tightness in your chest if you are feeling sad. 

3. Validate the emotion

It is key to recognize that your emotions are present for a valid reason and that they are telling you something. 

Practice self-compassion and give yourself support for the unpleasant emotions you are experiencing. Understand that feeling strong negative emotions are a normal part of life. 

Try to breathe into the experience of your emotions. You can soothe hurt feelings by placing a hand over your body where you feel this experience, then breathe slowly into this area. 

Inquire within as to whether there may be something you can do to address this feeling without any expectation that something needs to be done. 

4. Identify and resolve emotional triggers

Often, we may have an interpretation of a situation that can trigger a strong emotional reaction. To help with regulating our emotions, it is key to learn to recognize emotional triggers.

By identifying triggers, you can address the underlying issue and change your emotional response.

Remember that you always have a choice on how to respond and what to do with the information you have. 

5. Use chair work dialogues

Another technique that can aid emotion regulation is chair work dialogues (Greenberg, 2021). This involves imagining a conversation between different parts of yourself.

For example, you can externalize an internal critical voice by giving it a chair. Notice when this part attacks vulnerable emotions, making you feel flawed. Dialogue with the critic, expressing the pain it causes. Work to uncover the unmet needs or shame driving its harshness.

Chair work also allows compassionately soothing distressed parts of yourself. Comfort a scared inner child and provide the safety it lacked. Or encourage an angry part to express its frustration adaptively.

By making inner dynamics explicit through role play, you gain awareness of what triggers painful states. The parts can then integrate, resolving inner conflicts that dysregulate emotions.

6. Use imagery to transform emotions

Imagery is another effective strategy for modulating emotions (Greenberg, 2021). Visualization accesses right-brain processes, evoking feelings rapidly.

Imagine revisiting a scene where you felt overwhelmed, like childhood mistreatment or rejection. See yourself as a vulnerable child in this situation. What emotions arise? Fear, loneliness, shame? Stay with these painful feelings briefly.

Now visualize your current self entering the scene, ready to intervene. Offer the child protection and meet their unmet needs. Provide the safety and comfort they lacked. Dialogue with the child to understand their distress.

This imaginal process transforms difficult memories by accessing core hurts then symbolically resolving them. New empathy and care emerge, encoded as healthy emotional responses. Old triggers lose their power.

With practice, vividly revisiting scenes activates self-compassion automatically. Past wounds heal, and present emotions become more regulated.

References 

Aldao, A., Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Schweizer, S. (2010). Emotion-regulation strategies across psychopathology: A meta-analytic review.  Clinical psychology review ,  30 (2), 217-237.

Chapman, A. L., Gratz, K. L., & Brown, M. Z. (2006). Solving the puzzle of deliberate self-harm: The experiential avoidance model.  Behaviour research and therapy ,  44 (3), 371-394.

Dunn, E. C., Nishimi, K., Gomez, S. H., Powers, A., & Bradley, B. (2018). Developmental timing of trauma exposure and emotion dysregulation in adulthood: Are there sensitive periods when trauma is most harmful?.  Journal of affective disorders ,  227 , 869-877.

Greenberg, L. S. (2021). Emotion regulation. In L. S. Greenberg,  Changing emotion with emotion: A practitioner’s guide  (pp. 279–307). American Psychological Association.  https://doi.org/10.1037/0000248-012

Gross, J. J. (2015). Emotion regulation: Current status and future prospects.  Psychological inquiry ,  26 (1), 1-26.

McRae, K., & Gross, J. J. (2020). Emotion regulation.  Emotion ,  20 (1), 1.

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Our page on Emotional Intelligence explains why it is important to understand your emotions and those of others.

This page helps you to recognise and understand your own emotions, and explains why they are sometimes so strong. It offers some practical ideas about how you can manage your own emotions so that you can use and harness them, but are not governed entirely by them.

What are Emotions?

Emotions are feelings. To start to understand your emotions, you need to ask yourself two questions:

• How do I feel?
• How do I know?

But others also have emotions. At the same time as being aware of your own feelings, you also need to be aware of those of others.

You also need to ask:

• How do others feel, and how do I know?

There are several ways that we can tell how others are feeling, but particularly by observing what they say, and how they behave, including their body language . Research suggests that more than 80% of communication is non-verbal, meaning that it comes from body language and facial expression. Many of us don’t like to talk about our emotions, especially not if they really matter to us, so they tend to be expressed even more in our body language. See our page on Non-Verbal Communication for more.

Emotions and the Brain

Emotions are not consciously controlled. The part of the brain that deals with emotions is the limbic system. It’s thought that this part of the brain evolved fairly early on in human history, making it quite primitive. This explains why an emotional response is often quite straightforward, but very powerful: you want to cry, or run away, or shout.

It’s because these responses are based around the need to survive.

Emotions are strongly linked to memory and experience. If something bad has previously happened to you, your emotional response to the same stimulus is likely to be strong.

Babies feel emotion, but can’t necessarily reason. Emotions are also closely linked to values: an emotional response could tell you that one of your key values has been challenged. See our page on Dilts’ Logical Levels for more about this.

Understanding this link to memory and values gives you the key to managing your emotional response. Your emotional responses don’t necessarily have much to do with the current situation, or to reason, but you can overcome them with reason and by being aware of your reactions.

Take some time to notice your emotional responses and consider what might be behind them, whether values, memories or experiences.

Also consider what results in positive emotions and what is more negative.

Remember, you can change how you feel.

For more about this, see our page on Neuro-Linguistic Programming .

Learning to Manage Emotions

Much has been said and written about how to manage and control emotions.

You can choose how you feel. - Anon

You can’t control other people, but you can control how you react to them. - Anon.

Anybody can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way - that is not within everybody's power and is not easy. - Aristotle

The grid below shows the balance between high and low, and negative and positive energy:

High positive energy enables you to perform well, but you can’t stay in that state for ever. Sooner or later, you need to reduce the energy. Stay positive, and you will recover quickly. Dip into more negative feelings, and you will feel burnt out.

High negative energy is quite an uncomfortable place to be: it feels like you’re fighting for survival all the time. Again, you will have to reduce the energy at some point since it could lead to burnout.

Positive Actions to Help you Manage Emotions

There are a number of actions that you can take that will help you to manage your emotions. Many of them are very general, but try them because you may just find that they work.

Exercise: this releases reward and pleasure chemicals in the brain such as dopamine, which makes you feel better. Being fit also makes you healthier, which helps in managing emotions.

Be kind to others , because this helps stop you worrying about yourself.

Be open and accept what is going on around you. Learn to appreciate what is happening and avoid excessive criticism of others or of situations. This is linked to mindfulness , which is about being aware of what is going on in the moment.

It’s good to talk. Spend time with other people and enjoy their company.

Distract yourself. Yes, you really are that shallow. Watching a bit of TV, reading, or surfing the internet will probably help you forget that you were feeling a bit down.

Don’t give in to negative thinking. If you find yourself having negative thoughts, then challenge them by looking for evidence against them.

Spend time outside. Being in the fresh air, especially around nature, is very helpful for calming the emotions. There is evidence that we need to see horizons, so if you can go up a hill and look at the view then do.

Be grateful. Thank people in person for doing nice things for you, and remember it.

Play to your strengths. That often means doing things that you enjoy, but it also involves doing things that are good for you.

Notice the good things in your life. In old-fashioned terms, count your blessings.

This list may sound quite old-fashioned, but then perhaps our grandparents knew a thing or two about managing emotions that we may have forgotten. Finding the right balance for you can help reduce your stress levels and may help fight depression .

Applying Reason to Emotion

As we said above, you can change how you feel. The key is to be aware of your emotional response, and understand what might be behind it. That way, you can apply some reason to the situation.

For example, you might ask yourself some questions about possible courses of action, like:

How do I feel about this situation?

What do I think I should do about it?

What effect would that have for me and for other people?

Does this action fit with my values?

If not, what else could I do that might fit better?

Is there anyone else that I could ask about this who might help me?

This helps you to apply reason to an emotional response before reacting.

There is more about this in our page on Neuro-Linguistic Programming .

Suppose you are afraid of being in the dark because once you got shut in a dark room when you were a child.

You always have an emotional response to the dark because of your earlier experience. But you can remind yourself that you are now grown up and that there is nothing to frighten you. All you have to do is walk over to the light and turn it on.

By practising this, you can help your brain to understand that there is no need to be frightened and gradually retrain your limbic system.

Making Decisions with Emotions

When you make decisions, you can draw on reason, emotion, or a mixture of the two.

Emotional decisions are sometimes seen as made in the ‘heat of the moment’, but emotions play a greater part in most decisions than we may be aware. If you’re married, for example, you’ll know that considerable thought may go into the decision about whether or not to get married. Very few, however, would argue that the decision is made solely on the basis of logic.

The best decisions are made using both logic and emotion.

If you only use one or the other, your decisions may either not be very balanced, or not support your emotional needs. Instead, you need to combine your emotional response with more rational considerations.

You can do this by:

Stopping before you decide, to give yourself a chance to think.

Think about how you will feel as a result of each possible action.

Consider what might happen as a result, and how your decision might affect others. Would you be happy with those effects?

Take some time out before making a decision.

Consider the decision against your values. Does it fit with them? If not, why not?

Think about what someone whom you respect would think about your decision. Are you happy with that?

Finally, consider what would happen if everyone were to take the same action. If this would be a disaster, then probably best not to do it.

Emotions are Important

It pays to be aware of our own and others’ feelings. Highly emotionally intelligent people do this all the time. Like any other, it is a skill that can be developed and which is well worth acquiring.

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

Maya Angelou - Civil rights activist and poet.

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Learn more about emotional intelligence and how to effectively manage personal relationships at home, at work and socially.

Our eBooks are ideal for anyone who wants to learn about or develop their interpersonal skills and are full of easy-to-follow, practical information.

Continue to: Mindfulness Building Confidence

See also: What is Empathy? Anger Management Self Management

Emotions, Stress and Ways to Cope with Them Essay

Introduction, stress and health.

Human emotions, feelings of anger, and health are interconnected. This means that people should be able to manage stress if they want to live longer and achieve their potential. This paper begins by analyzing the major issues or aspects associated with human emotions. People who are aware of their poignant experiences will manage them effectively using evidence-based measures. The discussion goes further to examine the connection between stress and health. The final section examines various practices and ideas that individuals can consider to cope with anger and eventually record positive health results.

Human beings experience different forms of emotions depending on the situations they are in. Such feelings are usually capable of affecting every person’s performance or achievement. Stress also affects people negatively, thereby making it impossible for them to achieve their goals. Managing it can result in positive health outcomes. This paper focuses on the issues of stress, health, and emotions. Meaningful insights are presented that can empower more people to lead high-quality and healthy lives.

Cognition and Emotion

Arousal and expressive behaviors in emotion interact uniquely. According to James-Lange theory, arousal will arise before an emotion (Myers, 2011). This will trigger expressive behaviors that are associated with physiological responses. For human beings to experience emotions, they must interpret the existing situation consciously and label them (Myers, 2011). This means that individuals will be physically aroused.

Embodied Emotion

The link between emotional arousal and the autonomous nervous system is what scientists call embodied emotion. This means that any form of arousal will automatically result in a psychological response. This is something associated with or caused by the body’s autonomous nervous system (Toussaint, Shields, Dorn, & Slavish, 2016). Arousal will affect an individual’s performance negatively. For example, a person who is about to give a public speech will be unable to deliver once he or she is aroused emotionally.

All emotions do not trigger similar physiological and brain-pattern responses. A study by Toussaint et al. (2016) revealed that the cortical areas of the brain were responsible for diverse emotional and physiological responses. This means that strong emotions will trigger complex brain patterns and physiological responses due to the nature of hormones the body releases. Polygraphs have been in use to measure physiological responses of emotion. However, they are not very reliable when detecting lies. This is the reason why guilty questions are used as alternatives.

Expressed Emotion

Human beings communicate nonverbally through several voluntary or involuntary ways, including dressing, construction, writing, paralanguage, and gestures. This approach ensures that people share adequate information and ideas. Women and men differ in this aspect. This is true since females are talented as natural communicators (Toussaint et al., 2016). This happens to be the case since they are empowered to engage others on a wide range of levels.

Nonverbal expressions of emotions are universally understood. This is the case since all human beings portray similar expressions for joy, fear, happiness, anger, or sadness. Similarly, musical expressions are usually uniform across all cultural groups (Myers, 2011). Latest studies have revealed that people’s facial expressions will influence their feelings accordingly. An individual trying to force an expression of happiness will eventually feel such an emotion. This means that facial expressions will influence the intended mood.

Experienced Emotion

The basic emotions include surprise, joy, disgust, fear, shame, guilt, anger, sadness, contempt, and interest-excitement. These can be differentiated using these two dimensions: valence (either positive or negative) and arousal (whether low or high). The major causes of anger include insulting actions and frustrating experiences that humans might interpret as unjustified, willful, or unavoidable. Its consequences include feelings of pain, vengeance, and suicide (Finlay-Jones, Rees, & Kane, 2015). Happiness, on the other hand, arises from promising or helpful situations or events. Personal achievements and positive feelings will result in increased happiness. This feeling can trigger good health outcomes. Happiness has also been associated with risky behaviors, such as binge drinking.

Several events will provoke stress responses in human beings. For instance, the loss of a beloved person, injury, or divorce will result in painful emotions. Negative events or experiences can generate feelings of anguish or anger. Human beings respond and adapt differently to stress. Some might cry and engage in various activities to overcome pain. Others will embrace the concept of resilience to respond to the experienced situation in a positive manner (Finlay-Jones et al., 2015). In extreme cases, some individuals might decide to seek psychological support or commit suicide.

Feelings of anger and stress are associated with poor health outcomes. When an individual is affected by stress, chances are high that he or she will embrace inappropriate or risky health behaviors. For example, some people might eat large quantities of food while others will not. Such individuals will record negative health outcomes and be at risk of anorexia or obesity (Myers, 2011). Depression, mental illnesses, dementia, and migraine are also serious medical conditions triggered by prolonged stress. Affected individuals might decide to engage in risky behaviors that will expose them to various illnesses, including HIV/AIDs and addiction.

Some people will be more prone to coronary heart disease than others. Individuals from families with a history of this condition will be at a higher risk of becoming sick. Those who are facing stressful experiences or situations will also be exposed to coronary heart disease (Finlay-Jones et al., 2015). A proper understanding of these differences will empower more people to protect themselves from different medical conditions.

Promoting Health

The ability to cope with stress is a powerful attribute that can result in positive health outcomes. Many people facing this challenge will consider different strategies to record meaningful results. These may include engaging in self-care, talking to friends and counselors, avoiding alcohol and other addictive drugs, seeking therapy, and getting rid of the main trigger. Some people might focus on the most appropriate approaches to become more resilient (Finlay-Jones et al., 2015). A perceived lack of control will eventually affect a person’s health outcomes negatively. This is true since the affected individual will engage in drinking or continue to use addictive substances. Such a person might also decide to embrace a risky lifestyle. Such misbehaviors will eventually result in controllable illnesses or suicidal thoughts.

Individuals who have a positive or optimistic outlook on life record positive health results because they respond to challenging experiences effectively. They will recover within a short time whenever they are sick. They will also portray increased levels of optimism and life expectancy. Social support is related to positive health since it empowers people to deal with stress (Myers, 2011). The body’s immunity will increase significantly and eventually improve the individual’s health outcomes. People should, therefore, consider these linkages to lead long and healthy lives.

Aerobic exercises are useful because they can help people manage stress and improve their well-being. This is an oxygen-consuming activity that improves the functioning of the lungs and the heart. It also results in muscle relaxation and better sleep (Toussaint et al., 2016). It relieves depression and increases a person’s cognitive abilities.

Meditation and relaxation are evidence-based practices that reduce stress by minimizing blood pressure and relaxing different muscles. Such techniques also result in improved body functioning, thereby reducing depression and anxiety. The faith factor reveals that religiously active individuals will have better and longer lives (Myers, 2011). This achievement arises from the social support, positive emotions, and healthy behaviors associated with it. People can consider these explanations or connections to achieve similar benefits.

Complementary and alternative medicine (CAM) entails the use of alternative practices to promote health outcomes. Although they are not common in medical schools and hospitals, they have been found to deliver positive results (Finlay-Jones et al., 2015). Scientific researchers consider such methods to understand their positive impacts through the use of randomized or control experiments. The findings encourage different people to use CAM techniques to meet their health demands.

The above discussion has indicated that emotions play a unique role in the experiences and health outcomes of all people. A proper understanding of how to cope with emotions and stress can empower more individuals to record positive health outcomes. Meditation, aerobic exercises, complementary and alternative medicine, and religious beliefs are powerful attributes that can result in improved health outcomes.

Finlay-Jones, A. L., Rees, C. S., & Kane, R. T. (2015). Self-compassion, emotion regulation and stress among Australian psychologists: Testing an emotion regulation model of self-compassion using structural equation modeling. PLoS ONE, 10 (7), e0133481. Web.

Myers, D. G. (2011). Psychology (10th ed.). New York, NY: Worth Publishers.

Toussaint, L., Shields, G. S., Dorn, G., & Slavish, G. M. (2016). Effects of lifetime stress exposure on mental and physical health in young adulthood: How stress degrades and forgiveness protects health. Journal of Health Psychology, 21 (6), 1004-1014. Web.

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Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Emotions, Stress and Ways to Cope with Them." February 19, 2024. https://ivypanda.com/essays/emotions-stress-and-ways-to-cope-with-them/.

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Managing Emotions | 10 Ways To Manage Emotions

Managing emotions is not easy. We live in a world where we are always told to control our emotions, but what does that really mean? There are many strategies you can use to manage your emotions. In this blog post, we will discuss 10 ways to help you manage your emotions and live more fulfilling lives!

• 1 What Are Emotions?
• 2.1 Tips For Managing Emotions
• 2.2 Stay Positive
• 2.3 Don’t Dwell On Negative Emotions
• 2.4 Write Out Your Feelings
• 2.5 Don’t Let Negative Emotions Control You
• 2.6 Smile More
• 2.7 Be Patient With Yourself
• 2.8 Identify Your Triggers
• 2.9 Try To Meditate
• 2.10 Remember the People Who Matter Most
• 2.11 Take Some Time for Yourself
• 2.12 Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help
• 2.13 Start Practicing Mindfulness
• 3.1 Reduces Stress
• 3.2 Enhances Communication
• 3.3 Increases Productivity
• 3.4 Increases Creativity
• 4 Conclusion

What Are Emotions?

What Is Managing Emotions?

Managing emotions is the process of understanding how certain emotional experiences can influence your mood. As humans, we have an innate need to be accepted and liked by others in social situations, but that doesn’t always happen. When it doesn’t, you may feel sadness or anger about not being included—or rejection from someone else. That’s why managing emotions is important because they could lead to other issues within yourself or with those around you if left unchecked.

Tips For Managing Emotions

Here are ten tips for managing your emotions:

Stay Positive

Staying positive doesn’t mean you have to be happy all the time. It just means that when things get tough, remind yourself of what’s good in life and focus on those aspects instead of only looking at the negative side.

Don’t Dwell On Negative Emotions

Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. But letting them linger will make it harder for you to move forward with solutions or ideas about how to feel better again soon. If something is making you sad or angry, allow yourself a little bit of extra time (maybe 15 minutes) before moving on. This is because dwelling too long can put unnecessary stress on your body if left unresolved.

Write Out Your Feelings

Similar to not dwelling on negative emotions, it’s important to write them down. This is when you experience something upsetting. Writing your feelings is a great way of getting rid of the negativity in your life and focusing more on what makes you happy instead. Of course, this won’t work for everyone who experiences negative emotions. It is because some people can hold onto their sadness or anger longer than others. You might be able (or willing) to let go of that same feeling after writing about it.

Don’t Let Negative Emotions Control You

Everyone has emotional triggers . This is even if they don’t realize it right away—and letting these issues control how you think and act is never good. Instead, try identifying what kinds of things trigger certain negative emotions. This is so that you can proactively decide to avoid them in the future.

This tip is easy enough because it’s not about anything complicated. Smiling more can help you manage your emotions better by helping reduce stress, anxiety , and anger when you act on what makes you happy instead of dwelling on negative feelings that could get worse with time if left ignored or unresolved. For example, if someone at work has been making snarky comments towards you (and they always seem to come right before lunch), give yourself a moment to calm down after their rude comment. You can then go eat something good for your body. Even if it means getting some fresh air outside for a few minutes so that you feel calmer overall afterward. Don’t let anyone else control how you feel about your life.

Be Patient With Yourself

Everyone makes mistakes, and that’s okay because no one is perfect. Being kinder towards yourself can help reduce negative emotions by being patient with what happens in your daily routine. This is especially when things don’t always go as planned even if it wasn’t something you were directly responsible for. If someone else messes up at work or forgets their share of the bill on a night out, try not taking it personally. This is so that you won’t experience unnecessary stress over something that isn’t entirely under your control. Pro tip: instead of getting upset at others who have let you down, celebrate the accomplishments they’ve made. This is regardless of how big or small they might seem.

Identify Your Triggers

Everyone has different triggers for negative emotions, and knowing what causes you to experience worrisome feelings can help reduce them in the future. This is because you know why your mood changed all of a sudden even if it wasn’t something within your control. For example, someone at work told you about an opportunity that will take up more time than expected. Once you identify these emotional triggers, think about the appropriate actions you need to take. This is so that they don’t happen again. It is even if their cause was completely unexpected or out of thin air. For example, asking yourself “why?” after getting upset over something is important when unnecessary stress does occur. This simple act allows everyone to move forward with finding solutions. It is instead of staying stuck on bad habits.

Try To Meditate

If you’re having a hard time managing your emotions, meditating can be helpful for reducing stress and anxiety . It is by making room in your mind to let go of everything that’s going on around you at any given moment. This is no matter how big or small the problem might seem when it shows up unexpectedly. Meditation is one way of describing what happens when people clear their minds from unnecessary worries. This only adds more pressure without actually solving anything in life. It is because they’ve been left unattended for too long. At its core, meditation is about giving yourself mental space away from all the noise. This is so that you can find better clarity with whatever problems happen next. It is instead of getting lost within them until it feels like there’s no way out.

Remember the People Who Matter Most

Not everyone who walks into your life will be around forever. That is why it’s important to remember how much they have taught you about what matters most in life. This is instead of staying upset at them for things that are completely within their control. If someone makes a mistake, try forgiving them. This is because holding onto resentment is only going to hurt both of you without actually solving anything along the way. It is no matter how big or small that problem may have been when it first occurred.

Forgiveness might feel like saying goodbye to another person. This is even if they were good friends with strong ties but all relationships end eventually. It is instead of letting this relationship drag on until there’s nothing left between each other. Do your best to cherish the time spent together. This is because that’s what will remain in your memories instead of bad feelings.

Take Some Time for Yourself

No matter how much you love doing activities with other people, sometimes taking some alone time is necessary. This is for managing negative emotions by being introspective enough to reduce stress without anyone else around. It is especially when life gets too busy and there are no opportunities left to take care of yourself. This is until it feels like there’s nothing left within you anymore. Take this opportunity away from others so that you can clear your mind about everything going on right now. This is whether or not their presence was completely expected or out of thin air. You can use this newfound solitude as a chance to recharge. It is while also catching up on the things that matter most in life because you deserve this time away, too.

Don’t Be Afraid to Ask for Help

No person is an island unto themselves even if they don’t always feel like it’s necessary to ask others for help when problems happen throughout daily life. This is even though everyone needs a little bit of assistance every once in and while. You can use your support system as a way to catch up with how everyone else is feeling about what matters most. This is instead of keeping all these feelings within yourself. Sometimes asking for help means opening communication lines between each other so that people can talk more openly about their lives without having any reservations; not only does this make it easier to share feelings with each other, it’s also a good way of managing problems as soon as they arise instead of letting them fester within you until there’s nothing left but resentment and bad feelings.

Start Practicing Mindfulness

No matter how busy your life might be right now, practicing mindfulness is one way of making room for all the things that matter most in daily life—no matter how small or big these emotions happen to feel when they show up unexpectedly (this goes back to writing down feelings). Being mindful can help reduce stress by simply slowing everything down so that people have time away from their thoughts without any interruptions; use this newfound silence between all those unwanted distractions throughout day-to-day life as an opportunity to get in touch with your feelings and what’s going on right now without letting these problems fester within yourself because that will only make things worse for everyone involved.

Benefits of Managing Emotions

Managing Emotions helps you in many different ways. Some of these are:

Reduces Stress

Managing Emotions helps you reduce stress by being mindful of your surroundings without any interruptions.

Enhances Communication

Managing emotions enhances communication between people so that they can talk about what’s going on in their lives instead of keeping these feelings within themselves until it becomes too much to handle at once—no matter how big or small the problem is when it first arises (this goes back to writing down feelings).

Increases Productivity

Managing emotions increases productivity by maintaining a balance between work and home life.

Increases Creativity

Managing Emotions helps you increase creativity when taking time for yourself away from other people so that you can reduce stress in your life without being surrounded by constant chaos every day of the week (this goes back to writing down feelings).

Emotions play a huge role in our decision-making process, and it is important to understand how we typically react to certain stimuli.

Managing emotions isn’t easy. It takes a lot of self-reflection and works to understand your own feelings, as well as the feelings that people around you experience. When someone is going through a difficult time, try not to make it worse by saying something insensitive or upsetting them more than they already are. Instead, offer support in whatever way possible – whether it be listening to their venting session for hours on end or simply lending an ear when needed.

Remember that managing your emotions doesn’t always mean bottling up everything inside and never letting anything out; sometimes sharing what you’re feeling can help relieve stress and improve mental health just like any other form of exercise does.

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Essay on Emotions

Students are often asked to write an essay on Emotions in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Emotions

Understanding emotions.

Emotions are feelings that we experience daily. They can be happy, sad, angry, or scared. Emotions are important because they help us understand our world.

Types of Emotions

There are many types of emotions. Some common ones are joy, sadness, fear, and anger. Each emotion has a different effect on us.

Expressing Emotions

Expressing emotions is a part of being human. It’s okay to show how you feel. It’s also important to understand others’ emotions.

Managing Emotions

Managing emotions can be hard. But, with practice, we can learn to control our feelings. This can make us happier and healthier.

Also check:

• Paragraph on Emotions
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250 Words Essay on Emotions

Introduction to emotions.

Emotions, complex psychological states involving three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response, are fundamental to human experience. They serve as a universal language, transcending cultural and linguistic barriers.

The Role of Emotions

Emotions play a crucial role in our lives. They not only influence our mental state but also impact our physical well-being. They guide our actions, shape our relationships, and provide the lens through which we perceive the world. They can act as motivators, driving us towards specific goals or deterring us from potential hazards.

Emotions and Decision Making

In decision-making processes, emotions act as a compass, guiding us towards choices that feel right. They are intertwined with our cognitive processes, challenging the traditional dichotomy between emotion and reason. Recent research in neuroscience reveals that emotions are not just byproducts of cognition but play a central role in rational decision-making.

Emotional Intelligence

The concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI) has gained prominence in recent years. EI refers to the ability to recognize, understand, and manage our own emotions and those of others. It is a vital skill in navigating social interactions and maintaining mental health, highlighting the importance of emotional literacy in contemporary society.

In conclusion, emotions are an integral part of our existence, influencing our thoughts, actions, and interactions. Understanding and managing emotions are crucial for our personal growth and well-being. As we continue to explore the realm of emotions, we deepen our understanding of what it means to be human.

500 Words Essay on Emotions

The complexity of emotions.

Emotions, an integral part of human existence, are complex and multifaceted. They are powerful forces that can shape our actions, mold our perceptions, and influence our decisions. The study of emotions is an interdisciplinary endeavor, encompassing psychology, neuroscience, philosophy, and sociology, among other fields.

Emotions can be understood as subjective, conscious experiences characterized primarily by psychophysiological expressions, biological reactions, and mental states. They are often associated with mood, temperament, personality, and motivation. Emotions are not just mere feelings; they are a sophisticated system that helps us interact with the world.

A pivotal theory in understanding emotions is the James-Lange theory, which postulates that our emotional responses are largely a result of our bodily reactions to stimuli. This theory suggests that we do not tremble because we are afraid; rather, we are afraid because we tremble. Conversely, the Cannon-Bard theory argues that physiological arousal and emotional experience occur simultaneously, yet independently.

Emotions and the Brain

Neuroscientific studies have identified specific brain regions associated with emotions. The amygdala, for instance, plays a crucial role in fear and aggression, while the hippocampus is linked with memory formation, which can evoke emotional responses. The prefrontal cortex is involved in the regulation of emotions, helping us to react appropriately to emotional stimuli.

Emotions serve several key functions. First, they prepare us for action by triggering physiological responses such as increased heart rate or adrenaline flow. Second, emotions can shape our learning and memory processes. We tend to remember emotionally charged events better than neutral ones, a phenomenon known as the emotion-enhanced memory effect.

Third, emotions facilitate our social interactions. They help us understand others’ feelings and intentions, enabling empathy and social bonding. Emotions also communicate information to others about our internal state. For example, a smile signals happiness and friendliness, while a frown indicates displeasure or concern.

Emotion Regulation

Emotion regulation is a vital aspect of emotional health and well-being. It refers to our ability to manage and modify our emotional reactions in order to achieve our goals or adapt to different situations. Techniques for emotion regulation can range from cognitive reappraisal (changing how we think about a situation) to mindfulness and meditation.

In conclusion, emotions are complex phenomena that play a crucial role in our lives. They influence our actions, shape our social interactions, and even affect our memory and learning. Understanding emotions and how to regulate them effectively is vital for our overall well-being. As research in this field continues to evolve, we are likely to gain even more insights into the intricate world of emotions, enhancing our understanding of human behavior and the human mind.

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Emotion Management in the Workplace

Emotions are a complex and often challenging part of the everyday life of modern individuals. Emotions are present at all times and in every situation we face. Sometimes they are quite pleasant and relaxing, and sometimes they are confusing and frustrating. Both positive and negative emotions have one important feature in common – they are hard to control and manage.

Introduction

The question of emotions in the workplace is frequently discussed in our society. The scholars and practitioners are trying to determine the nature of emotions, their advantages, and disadvantages, and the ways they can be handled at the workplace without harming the employees.

Factors That Make Some Organizations Ineffective at Managing Emotions

First of all, emotions are frequently associated with weakness. In the contemporary world where the employees daily undergo a variety of stressful situations, pressures and are generally emotionally overloaded, it is considered tactless or inappropriate to show one’s emotions. As a result, most employees end up driven to their breaking point. Breaking down, men tend to show aggression, raise their voice, and behave in an angry way, whereas women tend to burst into tears. The reactions are so different because women tend not to show their temper due to social stereotypes where an aggressive woman is considered highly unpleasant and difficult to be around (Goudreau, 2013). Forcing the workers to hide emotions leads to poor management of emotions. Besides, emotionality is an individual characteristic, so ignoring personal differences of the employees is another factor leading to ineffective management of emotions at work.

Strategic Use and Display of Emotions

Strategic use of emotions at the workplace often has a rather one-sided nature, which means that only negative emotions such as fear and anxiety are used by the employers to motivate their workers. Such an approach may facilitate a certain devotion to the working process and improve the results of the employees, but it is also likely to decrease job satisfaction and increase the level of stress and lack of loyalty to a company (Robbins & Judge, 2013). Hiding emotions will lead to negative explosions and conflicts at work.

Workplaces Where Emotions Were a Part of Management Style

The boss of one of my former workplaces used a negative image to motivate workers. Her strategy was to convince the employees that they were easy to replace, so the smallest mistakes could result in the loss of employment. This was the use of fear to facilitate the working process. At another workplace, positive motions were employed as a team-building technique. The workers were acted to sit in a circle and communicate for half an hour every morning telling jokes and funny stories. Humor was used to bring the workers closer and start their day in a positive way.

Change Emotional Climate at Laura’s Company

The most important thing Laura’s company should change is to stop using anger and fear to manipulate its employees. There are more positive sources of motivation for the employees, hard work, and high performance could be encouraged through monetary rewards and other benefits. Since frustration is inevitable at most workplaces, it would be appropriate for the companies to provide their workers with rooms where they could express their emotions, for example, get a punching bag. This approach would reduce the chance of emotional outbursts harming not only the person who explodes but everyone who witnesses it. Besides, happier workers will be better at managing customers’ emotions.

Emotions are ever-present, and they are inevitable in the workplace. Failure to manage emotions could lead to dangerous emotional outbursts at work, disrupting the working process. Managing emotions means making them a natural and essential part of work and motivation, and allowing the employees to let out stress when they need it in a harmless way.

Reference List

Goudreau, J. (2013). From Crying To Temper Tantrums: How To Manage Emotions At Work . Web.

Robbins, S. P., & Judge, T. A. (2013). Organizational Behavior (16 th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall. Web.

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Managing Your Emotions at Work

Controlling your feelings... before they control you.

By the Mind Tools Content Team

Everything can be taken from a man but the last of human freedoms – the ability to choose one's attitude in a given set of circumstances, to choose one's way. – Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search for Meaning."

We've all been in one of "those" situations before. You know... when your favorite project is canceled after weeks of hard work; when a customer snaps at you unfairly; when your best friend (and co-worker) is laid off suddenly; or your boss assigns you more work when you're already overloaded.

In your personal life, your reaction to stressful situations like these might be to start shouting, or to go hide in a corner and feel sorry for yourself for a while. But at work, these types of behavior could seriously harm your professional reputation, as well as your productivity.

Stressful situations are all too common in a workplace that's facing budget cuts, staff layoffs, and department changes. It may become harder and harder to manage your emotions under these circumstances, but it's even more important for you to do so. After all, if management is forced into making more layoffs, they may choose to keep those who can handle their emotions, and work well under pressure. No matter what the situation is, you're always free to choose how you react to it.

So, how can you become better at handling your emotions, and "choosing" your reactions to bad situations? In this article, we look at the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace – and how you can manage them productively.

Why are we focusing only on negative emotions? Well, most people don't need strategies for managing their positive emotions. After all, feelings of joy, excitement, compassion, or optimism usually don't affect others in a negative way. As long as you share positive emotions constructively and professionally, they're great to have in the workplace!

Common Negative Emotions at Work

In 1997, Bond University professor of management Cynthia Fisher conducted a study called " Emotions at Work: What Do People Feel, and How Should We Measure It? "

According to Fisher's research, the most common negative emotions experienced in the workplace are as follows:

• Frustration/irritation.
• Worry/nervousness.
• Anger/aggravation.
• Disappointment/unhappiness.

From " Emotions at Work: What Do People Feel and How Should we Measure it? " by Cynthia D. Fisher. School of Business Discussion Paper; No. 63, February 1997. © Copyright Cynthia D. Fisher and the School of Business, Bond University.

Below are different strategies you can use to help you deal with each of these negative emotions.

Frustration/Irritation

Frustration usually occurs when you feel stuck or trapped, or unable to move forward in some way. It could be caused by a colleague blocking your favorite project, a boss who is too disorganized to get to your meeting on time, or simply being on hold on the phone for a long time.

Whatever the reason, it's important to deal with feelings of frustration quickly, because they can easily lead to more negative emotions, such as anger.

Here are some suggestions for dealing with frustration:

• Stop and evaluate – One of the best things you can do is mentally stop yourself, and look at the situation. Ask yourself why you feel frustrated. Write it down, and be specific. Then think of one positive thing about your current situation. For instance, if your boss is late for your meeting, then you have more time to prepare. Or, you could use this time to relax a little.
• Find something positive about the situation – Thinking about a positive aspect of your situation often makes you look at things in a different way. This small change in your thinking can improve your mood. When it's people who are causing your frustration, they're probably not doing it deliberately to annoy you. And if it's a thing that's bothering you – well, it's certainly not personal! Don't get mad, just move on.
• Remember the last time you felt frustrated – The last time you were frustrated about something, the situation probably worked out just fine after a while, right? Your feelings of frustration or irritation probably didn't do much to solve the problem then, which means they're not doing anything for you right now.

Worry/Nervousness

With all the fear and anxiety that comes with increasing numbers of layoffs, it's no wonder that many people worry about their jobs. But this worry can easily get out of control, if you allow it, and this can impact not only your mental health, but also your productivity, and your willingness to take risks at work.

Try these tips to deal with worrying:

• Don't surround yourself with worry and anxiety – For example, if co-workers gather in the break room to gossip and talk about job cuts, then don't go there and worry with everyone else. Worrying tends to lead to more worrying, and that isn't good for anyone.
• Try deep-breathing exercises – This helps slow your breathing and your heart rate. Breathe in slowly for five seconds, then breathe out slowly for five seconds. Focus on your breathing, and nothing else. Do this at least five times. For more on this, read our article on Physical Relaxation Techniques .
• Focus on how to improve the situation – If you fear being laid off, and you sit there and worry, that probably won't help you keep your job. Instead, why not brainstorm ways to bring in more business, and show how valuable you are to the company?
• Write down your worries in a worry log – If you find that worries are churning around inside your mind, write them down in a notebook or "worry log," and then schedule a time to deal with them. Before that time, you can forget about these worries, knowing that you'll deal with them. When it comes to the time you've scheduled, conduct a proper risk analysis around these things, and take whatever actions are necessary to mitigate any risks.

When you're worried and nervous about something, it can dent your self-confidence. Read our article on Building Self-Confidence to make sure this doesn't happen. Also, don't let your worries get in the way of being appropriately assertive .

Anger/Aggravation

Out-of-control anger is perhaps the most destructive emotion that people experience in the workplace. It's also the emotion that most of us don't handle very well. If you have trouble managing your temper at work, then learning to control it is one of the best things you can do if you want to keep your job.

Try these suggestions to control your anger:

• Watch for early signs of anger – Only you know the danger signs when anger is building, so learn to recognize them when they begin. Stopping your anger early is key. Remember, you can choose how you react in a situation. Just because your first instinct is to become angry doesn't mean it's the correct response.
• If you start to get angry, stop what you're doing – Close your eyes, and practice the deep-breathing exercise we described earlier. This interrupts your angry thoughts, and it helps put you back on a more positive path.
• Picture yourself when you're angry – If you imagine how you look and behave while you're angry, it gives you some perspective on the situation. For instance, if you're about to shout at your co-worker, imagine how you would look. Is your face red? Are you waving your arms around? Would you want to work with someone like that? Probably not.

To find out more about managing your anger at work, take our self-test How Good Is Your Anger Management? Also, read Dealing with Unfair Criticism and Anger Management .

We've probably all had to work with someone we don't like. But it's important to be professional, no matter what.

Here are some ideas for working with people you dislike:

• Be respectful – If you have to work with someone you don't get along with, then it's time to set aside your pride and ego. Treat the person with courtesy and respect, as you would treat anyone else. Just because this person behaves in an unprofessional manner, that doesn't mean you should as well.
• Be assertive – If the other person is rude and unprofessional, then firmly explain that you refuse to be treated that way, and calmly leave the situation. Remember, set the example.

To learn more about handling dislike in the workplace, please see our articles on Working With People You Don't Like , Dealing With Difficult People and Egos at Work .

Disappointment/Unhappiness

Dealing with disappointment or unhappiness at work can be difficult. Of all the emotions you might feel at work, these are the most likely to impact your productivity. If you've just suffered a major disappointment, your energy will probably be low, you might be afraid to take another risk, and all of that may hold you back from achieving.

Here are some proactive steps you can take to cope with disappointment and unhappiness:

• Look at your mindset – Take a moment to realize that things won't always go your way. If they did, life would be a straight road instead of one with hills and valleys, ups and downs, right? And it's the hills and valleys that often make life so interesting.
• Adjust your goal – If you're disappointed that you didn't reach a goal, that doesn't mean the goal is no longer reachable. Keep the goal, but make a small change – for example, delay the deadline. Our Back On Track article provides practical steps for recovering from a major career setback.
• Record your thoughts – Write down exactly what is making you unhappy. Is it a co-worker? Is it your job? Do you have too much to do? Once you identify the problem, start brainstorming ways to solve it or work around it. Remember, you always have the power to change your situation.
• Smile! – Strange as it may sound, forcing a smile – or even a grimace – onto your face can often make you feel happy (this is one of the strange ways in which we humans are "wired.") Try it – you may be surprised!

We all have to deal with negative emotions at work sometimes, and learning how to cope with these feelings is now more important than ever. After all, negative emotions can spread, and no one wants to be around a person who adds negativity to a group.

Know what causes your negative emotions, and which types of feelings you face most often. When those emotions begin to appear, immediately start your strategy to interrupt the cycle. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to pull yourself away from negative thinking.

Fisher, Cynthia D. (1997). Emotions at Work: What Do People Feel and How Should We Measure it? [online]. School of Business Discussion Paper, Bond University. (Available here .)

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Dr. Ken Martz

Great key points for managing emotions at work. You can find more great tips from my bestselling book Manage My Emotions at https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B08GZV98NX or at my website https://drkenmartz.com/

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Essay on Managing Your Emotions Well. Top Mental Habits

Restrain Your Emotions: Best Ways to Handle with Anger

An ability to express different emotions by a human being is absolutely natural. We show our feelings with the help of smile, laugh, clapping, jumping etc. That is what we do when we are happy or satisfied. However, there are also a plenty of ways to show negative feelings, and that is when it is important to learn to express anger or even rage in a healthy manner that does not harm people around us.

There are multiple methods and techniques that help restrain negative emotions, and anger in particular. We have chosen six most effective mental habits among them.

Have Boundaries and Do Not Allow People to Cross Them

It is important to sense when the conversation can be converted into a blazing row and know how not to let this happen. One of the ways to deal with such a situation is to set certain boundaries and do not allow other people to push them. For example, you can say yourself something like “ I’m not going to allow this person to push my buttons, take advantage of this situation, or disrespect my authority ” and not react to anything that may provoke a conflict

Find Out the Real Cause for Your Anger

If you will sit down and think about situations in which you have experienced anger, you will most probably reveal that something said or done by others is just a reaction to what is happing deep inside you. Your negative feelings, anxiety, worries, fears are the real cause of your anger, not the current situation. Thus, those emotions are your first consideration. If they are gone, you will not experience any rage in the first place.

Analyze Instead of React

Try to restrain not only your anger but other feelings as well. If you are able to take control of your emotions, you will be able to analyze the situations, weight the consequences, make judgements, and do not react right ahead.

There are three things you can do, not to reach the boiling point:

• Do not react to those who want to provoke you. Take a break and return when you are in a better mood;
• Ask for someone’s perspective on the situation;
• Do not forget about the potential consequences of your rage.

Take a Short Pause

If you want to say something that may offend another person, it is a good idea to take a six-second pause. That is exactly how much chemicals of emotions last. This short period of time allows you to think twice before saying something harsh.

Apologize After an Argument

Most people who cannot control their anger will wait for the other side to come and apologize to them after an argument. Try to do the opposite and you will be surprised with the result. Remember that it’s pointless to allow your negative emotions deprive you of good relationships.

Be Positive Not Negative

Anger, rage, shouts and other expressions of negative emotions influence not only your mind but also your health. There are two methods that can help you become calm again:

• Spend several minutes on making a list of things that make you grateful. Furthermore, keep doing this for several weeks and your brain automatically will focus on something positive and not negative;
• Be emphatic and try to imagine yourself in the shoes of a person who has initiated the argument. Understanding the reason why he or she has done that may help you feel less angry.

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Managing Your Emotional Reactions

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It's Friday afternoon, last period. The weekend trip you planned with a friend starts in exactly 4 hours. You've been catching up on studying and chores all week so you can enjoy the time away. And now the teacher announces a test on Monday.

You probably feel annoyed — or maybe downright angry. You might feel disappointed. You might also feel pressured or stressed about all the studying you'll have to do.

But how do you react ? What do you do and say?

You may want to jump up and yell at the teacher, "That's not fair! Some of us have weekend plans." But you know you need to keep your cool until class is over — then share your feelings with your friend.

But what if you're not the calm, collected type? Don't worry. Everyone can develop the skill of responding well when emotions run high. It just takes a bit more practice for some people

Learning to React Well

Managing emotional reactions means choosing how and when to express the emotions we feel .

People who do a good job of managing emotions know that it's healthy to express their feelings — but that it matters how (and when) they express them. Because of this, they're able to react to situations in productive ways:

• They know they can choose the way they react instead of letting emotions influence them to do or say things they later regret.
• They have a sense of when it's best to speak out — and when it's better to wait before acting on, or reacting to, what they feel.
• They know that their reaction influences what happens next — including how other people respond to them and the way they feel about themselves.

You've probably been in a situation where someone reacted in a way that was too emotional, making you cringe or feel embarrassed for the person. You also might have been in a situation where your own emotions felt so strong that it took all your self-control not to go down that path yourself.

Maybe you can think of a time when you didn't manage your reaction. Perhaps anxiety, anger, or frustration got the better of you, It happens. When it does, forgive yourself and focus on what you could have done better. Think about what you might do next time.

Emotions 101

The skills we use to manage our emotions and react well are part of a bigger group of emotional skills called emotional intelligence (EQ) . Developing all the skills that make up emotional intelligence takes time and practice.

People who react well are already good at some basic EQ skills. But these are skills anyone can practice:

• Emotional awareness . This skill is all about being able to notice and identify the emotions we feel at any given moment. It is the most basic of the EQ skills. Sometimes, just naming the emotion we feel can help us feel more in charge of our emotions.
• Understanding and accepting emotions. Understanding emotions means knowing why we feel the way we do. For example, we might say to ourselves, "I feel left out and a little insecure because I didn't get invited to the prom yet, and two of my friends already did." It helps to view our emotions as understandable, given the situation. We might think to ourselves: "No wonder I feel left out — it's natural to feel that way in this situation." It's like giving ourselves a little kindness and understanding for the way we feel. This helps us accept our emotions. We know they're reasonable, and that it's OK to feel whatever way we feel . Accepting emotions means noticing, identifying, and understanding our emotions without blaming others or judging ourselves for how we feel. It's not helpful to tell ourselves that how we feel is someone else's fault. It is also not good to judge our emotions and think, "I shouldn't feel this way" or "It's awful that I feel this way!" The goal is to acknowledge your feelings without letting them run away with you.

Once these basic skills feel natural, you're more able to manage what you actually do when you feel strong emotions. Practicing the basic skills also will help you get past difficult emotions faster.

What Would You Do?

Imagine this situation: Your friends have received promposals (or college acceptances, team places, etc.). But you haven't. Once you identify, understand, and accept how you feel, how might you react?

• Look unhappy when you're around your friends, hoping they'll ask you what's wrong.
• Gossip about people who already have dates, and say you don't even want to go to the stupid dance.
• Confide in a friend, "I feel bad about not getting asked yet. But I can still go with friends."
• Remind yourself that it's not the end of the world. Decide to give it time and not let it ruin your day.

Consider each choice and think about what might happen next for each one. Which reaction would lead to the best outcome?

We always have a choice about how to react to situations. Once we realize that, it's easier to make choices that work out well.

Learning to react well takes practice. But we all can get better at taking emotional situations in stride and expressing emotions in healthy ways. And that's something to feel good about!

Managing Emotions Essay Example

• Pages: 5 (1315 words)
• Published: January 25, 2018
• Type: Essay

Overall, this brief summation will outline and over emotions at work and how they affect us. A variety of resources were used for this analysis Including personal professional experiences. Introduction Everyone carries with them a wide range of emotions.

Moreover, the ability to use them effectively and control them is what employers seek from their employees and management. "Emotions are intense feelings directed at someone or something. " (Robbins &Judge, 2013) Organizations have deferent styles of managing emotions and not all of them good.

It is imperative for organizations to hire emotionally intelligent employees. Research has shown that employees who show higher levels of emotional intelligence are more creative and have better Job satisfaction. (Robbins & Judge, 2013) There are a variety of techniques an organization can utilize In order to ensure they are prov

iding a positive emotional environment.

It rests with management to Implement them, use them, and when necessary change them to ensure that employee job satisfaction remains high A lack of emotional knowledge is a key contributor to ineffective emotional management.

By handling emotion poorly, a manager can have a compounding negative effect on their employees. Being able to understand the emotions of others is crucial for managers. (Robbins & Judge, 2013) Other factors may include: (a) low emotional intelligence and (b) high affect intensity.

Low Emotional Intelligence (E') The inability to perceive and understand the emotions of those around you is an example of having low emotional intelligence. There are studies that suggest El plays "an important role in Job performance. (Robbins & Judge, 2013) Managers with low El are more likely to misunderstand why an employee is emotional an

therefore are considered insensitive to the needs of their co-workers. High Affect Intensity The example used in Organizational Behavior (2013) illustrates the difference in affect intensity between Bob Knight and Bill Gates.

A manager that exhibits high affect intensity; which is how strongly they experience their emotions, is more likely to be ineffective at managing the emotions of others.

Coach Knight was notorious for being a highly emotional individual and those emotions are what lead to his eventual dismissal from Indiana University as their head basketball coach. (Wolff, 2000) Highly emotional individuals, in my experience do not make very good managers. Using Emotions at Work From my 15 years of work experience, I have found that there are two very divergent schools of thought around using and displaying emotions in the workplace.

One is that it should never be done and it might be harmful to your Job and/or career.

The second is that it is perfectly plausible to use and display emotions in the workplace. I think emotions used properly in the workplace can benefit everyone, but not every emotion is acceptable. When a manager who is normally even-keeled suddenly expresses emotion it will have an effect on the employees.

That effect is most commonly motivation. Strategically used, emotion can be a very powerful tool for managers to use. Nevertheless, I think that letting emotions push you to an outward showing such as crying is not acceptable in the workplace.

On the contrary, as stated by Eric Anderson, "crying at work is transformation and can open the door to change. " (Robbins & Judge, 2013) As stated in Emotions in the Workplace, the Neglect

of Organizational Behavior (Munchkins, 2000) there is more research that needs to be done. The workplace is a very emotional environment and employees re expected to act in accordance with established policies and procedures.

The question then begs to ask, how we leave our emotions at the door when we enter the workplace. The short answer is, we cannot, but we should try.

Emotional Management Style I have had the honor and pleasure of working for some of the finest charitable organizations in the United States. In doing so, you quickly learn that emotions run high. When dealing with co-workers, volunteers, and constituents that have been personally and deeply affected by something, one must always try to put themselves n others shoes to fully understand the reasoning behind their actions and words.

(Carnegie, 1936) However, working in those environments can be draining - physically and emotionally. Many times this may lead to absenteeism at critical times as well as high rates of turnover. Robbins & Judge, 2013) There is a saying in most identify a person that believes in or can relate with the mission of the organization, then money (donations) will surely follow. This can be an employee, manager, volunteer, community leader, or any person that has been affected by the mission of an organization. However, there is a flip side to this.

When someone is so emotionally invested in an organization or mission they may let their emotion drive their decisions. Those decisions can lead to negative interactions because others may not feel as strongly. In these cases, altruism is often replaced by selfishness.

I have witnessed relationships become fractured and employees burn

themselves out because of emotionally driven management.

Ensuring that everyone involved has a chance to relax and recharge within environments managed by emotion is key. Felt emotions and displayed emotions are something every manager has to encounter; it's he manner in which you navigate these emotions that is the difference between good and poor management. (Robbins & Judge, 2013) An advantage to managing with emotion, from my perspective is that a deep connection can be formed due to a common bond.

You can find that employee or volunteer to walk through the proverbial wall with you. Subsequently, a disadvantage is the potential of alienating those closest to you in the workplace and community. In my opinion, managing with emotion should only be done very strategically and to accomplish a desired outcome.

Change the climate "Job Satisfaction will affect the bottom line. " (Robbins & Judge, 2013) In order for a company to change its emotional climate, there must be a true catalyst for that change.

It would make sense for this to emanate from the CEO, Human Resources Director, or an executive within the organization. Policies should be in place or changed to encourage open door policies, open and honest communication, and provide a resource for employees who are frustrated or discriminated against.

Furthermore, following the lead of Ned Collette the General Manager of the Los Angels Dodgers, gathering groups of employees from all departments and offering brief yet encouraging emotional appeals could foster a positive workplace environment. Robbins & Judge, 2013) Becoming fully integrated with your workforce and truly understanding their needs and challenges while publicly recognizing successes is straight from the Management 101

handbook. There are dozens of examples in which organizations engage their employees to create a more emotionally positive climate. One example is from Blizzard, a company based in San Diego, CA, which has implemented physical activities on their campus.

They, like other organizations feel "these activities result in happier, healthier, and more productive employees. (Robbins & Judge, 2013) The most important thing an organization can do is to identify the problem and make every effort to eliminate it. If the root cause of a poor emotional climate is left in place regardless of any changes made, the problem will never actually get corrected. Conclusion Emotions are everywhere in the workplace and manifest themselves in a variety of ways.

Recognizing what causes emotions is the challenge that managers face today ND will continue to face as the workforce becomes older and more diverse. While emotions cannot be eliminated from the workplace, they need to be controlled.

Research has shown that emotions play a key role in the overall success of a create positive emotional climates in the workplace. "Every employee expends physical and mental labor by putting body and mind, respectively, into the job.

" (Robbins & Judge, 2013) The recruitment and retention of emotionally stable and emotionally intelligent employees at all levels of the organization is the most critical step an organization can take to ensure they have created a climate where motions can be strategically managed and used to accomplish the organizational goals and mission.

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