commentary essay writing

Commentary Essay Example, Writing Guide, and Tips

Introduction

Welcome to The Knowledge Nest, your go-to resource for all things related to commentary essay writing. In this comprehensive guide, we will walk you through the process of crafting an impactful commentary essay, providing useful examples and valuable tips to help you enhance your writing skills.

What is a Commentary Essay?

A commentary essay is a type of academic writing that aims to analyze and provide an in-depth interpretation of a particular text or topic. It offers a critical examination and evaluation of the subject matter, exploring various perspectives and providing evidence-based arguments to support the author's viewpoint.

Why Write a Commentary Essay?

Writing a commentary essay allows you to develop critical thinking skills, enhance your analytical abilities, and strengthen your written communication. It provides a platform to express your ideas and opinions, engage with different viewpoints, and present a well-rounded analysis of the chosen subject matter.

Key Components of a Commentary Essay

1. Introduction: Begin your essay with a captivating introduction that presents the topic and provides context for the reader.

2. Thesis Statement: Craft a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines your main argument or perspective.

3. Body Paragraphs: Develop your analysis in well-structured body paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or theme. Use relevant evidence, examples, and expert opinions to support your claims.

4. Counterarguments: Address potential counterarguments or alternative viewpoints and offer thoughtful rebuttals to strengthen your position.

5. Conclusion: Summarize the main points of your essay and reiterate your thesis statement, leaving the reader with a lasting impression.

Step-by-Step Guide to Writing a Commentary Essay

Step 1: choose a relevant topic.

Select a topic that aligns with your interests and falls within the scope of your assignment or academic requirements. Consider the relevance and significance of the subject matter to engage your readers.

Step 2: Conduct Extensive Research

Gather information from credible sources such as academic journals, books, reputable websites, and scholarly articles. Engage with different perspectives and take diligent notes to support your analysis.

Step 3: Outline Your Essay

Create a clear and well-structured outline that outlines the main points, arguments, and supporting evidence you will present in your essay. A well-organized outline ensures a cohesive and logical flow of ideas.

Step 4: Craft an Engaging Introduction

In your introduction, provide a brief overview of the topic and its significance. Hook the reader's attention with an intriguing opening sentence or a thought-provoking question.

Step 5: Develop Your Arguments in the Body Paragraphs

Divide your essay into distinct body paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point or theme. Begin each paragraph with a topic sentence that establishes the main idea, and support it with relevant evidence, examples, and analysis.

Step 6: Address Counterarguments

Acknowledge alternative viewpoints and counterarguments to demonstrate your awareness of different perspectives. Articulate thoughtful rebuttals that strengthen your arguments and distinguish your viewpoint.

Step 7: Conclude with Impact

In your conclusion, summarize the main points of your essay and restate your thesis statement. Leave the reader with a compelling closing thought or call-to-action that invites further reflection or discussion on the topic.

Commentary Essay Example

To provide you with a better understanding, let's consider an example of a commentary essay on the topic of climate change:

Introduction:

Climate change has emerged as one of the most pressing global issues of our time. This commentary essay aims to analyze the causes, impacts, and potential solutions to address this environmental crisis.

Body Paragraph 1: The Causes of Climate Change

The first body paragraph delves into the primary causes of climate change, such as greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation, and industrialization. It explores how human activities have contributed to the accelerated pace of global warming.

Body Paragraph 2: The Impacts of Climate Change

In the second body paragraph, we examine the far-reaching impacts of climate change on ecosystems, weather patterns, and human livelihoods. We explore the devastating consequences of rising sea levels, extreme weather events, and the loss of biodiversity.

Body Paragraph 3: Potential Solutions to Climate Change

The third body paragraph focuses on potential solutions to mitigate and adapt to climate change. It explores renewable energy sources, sustainable agricultural practices, and international collaboration as key strategies to combat this global crisis.

Conclusion:

In conclusion, the commentary essay emphasizes the urgent need for collective action to address climate change. By understanding its causes, impacts, and potential solutions, we can work towards a sustainable future for generations to come.

Writing a commentary essay enables you to dive deep into a specific topic, critically analyze it, and articulate your thoughts effectively. By following our comprehensive guide and utilizing the provided tips, you will be well-equipped to create impactful commentary essays and improve your writing skills.

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What Is a Commentary in an Essay | Writing Guide & Examples

• 22 December 2023
• 26 min read

When people need to express their thoughts or ideas about something, they need guidelines on how to write a commentary essay. This article begins by defining what is a commentary essay, its meaning, and outlining its basic structure. Some insights students can learn are that introductions should have hooks, background information, and thesis statements. Body paragraphs of a commentary essay should have topic sentences; evidence, mainly quotes; comments after the evidence; and transitions. The conclusion part should restate the thesis and summarize the main ideas. This guideline also gives a sample outline template, possible topics, and a practical example of a commentary essay. Lastly, the article teaches students 10 dos and 10 don’ts and 20 tips for writing a high-standard commentary essay.

How to Write an Outstanding Commentary Essay & Examples

Reading is an academic exercise that develops a person’s mental faculties of intellect, memory, reason, intuition, perception, and imagination. These faculties develop when people utilize what they have acquired through reading to write different types of papers , including essays, reports, and research papers. Therefore, reading and writing are related because they both induce intellectual development. This guideline on how to write a commentary in an essay teaches students and anyone passionate about writing how to create a good argumentative position that meets the quality standards for intellectual discourse and publication. The guideline also offers vital insights, including the definition of what is a commentary essay, its basic essay structure , different types, possible essay topics, 10 dos and 10 don’ts, and 20 tips for producing a high-standard essay. Therefore, reading this guideline is beneficial to students and others who may, from time to time, write a commentary in an essay to communicate ideas to specific audiences.

Definition of What Is a Commentary in an Essay and Its Meaning

From a definition, a commentary is a descriptive account of an event, an expression of opinions about a political, economic, social, or cultural issue, or elucidating a point or topic of public interest. From this perspective, a commentary essay is a document that students write to express opinions about an issue or topic through a descriptive expression and explanation of ideas. In this respect, a commentary essay differs from other types of essays , including an argumentative essay , a personal narrative , a cause and effect essay , compare and contrast essay , or a problem and solution essay , as well as a report and a research paper , because it means expressing the writer’s perspective concerning an issue or topic. Commentaries are products of a critical analysis of societal problems across political, economic, social, and cultural dimensions. When writing a commentary essay, students should analyze and interpret the source under discussion, such as a text, film, article, video, advertisement, event, object, subject, book, poem, speech, presentation, literary work, novel, sculpture, or image, among others, using a basic sandwich rule: giving a commentary after each quote or citation.

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Basic Structure of a Commentary Essay

Like other texts, a commentary paper has a basic essay structure that dictates how writers should organize their content. This structure has three components: an introduction , a body , and a conclusion . The introduction is where writers introduce their assigned topics using a hook , context, and an argumentative thesis statement . Although this type of commentary essay is not an argumentative essay, an argumentative thesis indicates the writer’s perspective on the issue, which can be contentious in the eyes of readers. The body of a commentary essay is where authors construct a defense of their perspective through body paragraphs; each body paragraph should have a topic sentence that establishes a claim ; supporting evidence, like quotes, data, or examples; a commentary that analyzes and explains information cited in an essay; and a concluding sentence with a transition to create a logical connection to the next paragraph. In turn, the conclusion restates the thesis and makes a final remark.

5 Main Types of Commentary

Because a commentary in an essay expresses the writer’s perspective about an issue, idea, or topic, it is evident in the body section of a commentary essay, where people describe their perspectives every time they provide evidence. In this respect, there are different types of commentary. The first one is an opinion essay where writers analyze evidence, such as a quote, text, or image, and state their stands with their critics. The second type of a commentary essay is an interpretation, where authors explain a complex concept to enhance the reader’s understanding. The third type is character or subject’s feelings, where students depict the emotional state of the person they have described in a commentary sentence. The fourth type of commentary essay is a personal reaction, where people communicate their stances on an issue, while the fifth type is an evaluation, where writers evaluate a section and gives a critical judgment.

Alternative Commentary Types and Examples

Besides the types of commentary above, students may write alternative commentary types when their essay is part of a bigger writing project, such as a systematic exposition of an idea, theme, or topic. Students must know the unique features of each type, including when to use it, what to focus on, and how to organize a commentary essay’s content.

1️⃣ Close, Direct Analysis of Passages

An example of an alternative commentary is a close, direct analysis of robust passages from the source, such as an article, film, poem, literary work, book, or novel. In this respect, they are standard in bigger writing projects, like expositions or being part of a critic’s work. Students adopt this type of commentary when they have to read a passage in a text or pick a speech in a movie and write a film analysis essay that expresses the writer’s perspective on the central issues, ideas, or concepts. The following example of a commentary essay demonstrates a close, direct examination of the first stanza of the poem “Night Wind” by Christopher Dewdney:

Tonight the wind blows through

all the worlds I have known and

through all the lives I have led.

The wind blows in the trees,

deeper into each.

The wind blows forever,

strains like something

endlessly departing.

Restless, impatient,

it races without burden.

Example of a Commentary on Celebration of Nature in the First Stanza of Christopher Dewdney’s Poem “Night Wind”

Christopher Dewdney’s 1984 poem “Night Wind” celebrates nature by depicting the night wind as a permanent, free expression of nature. The poet describes the wind on a particular night in the first stanza. By using a first-person perspective in the first three lines, Dewdney depicts himself as an observer. This writing style expresses a personal dialogue in which the poet directly relates his senses, experiences, and impressions. Dewdney opens the poem with the words: “Tonight the wind blows through / all the worlds I have known and / through all the lives I have led.” In this passage, the author expresses to the reader how the unity of the wind in whatever time or place leaves a lasting impression on him. Ideally, he views the wind as an omnipresent force but also regards it as very transient and fleeting. The words “endlessly departing” indicate to the reader the sense that the wind encompasses the entire continuum of the poet’s existence. Nonetheless, it is always in a rush to be at another location. The reader gets the impression that wind is a celebration of nature when Dewdney mentions its interactions with nature: “The wind blows in the trees, deeper into each.” This statement induces an imagination of trees fighting against a pervasive wind. The poet ends the stanza by personifying the wind, and he assigns it human qualities of restlessness, impatience, and playfulness. In this respect, the first stanza uses the wind as a reason to celebrate nature.

2️⃣ Commentary Annotations

Annotations are another type of alternative commentary where writers use a short claim on a source, like a text, film, or image. This kind of commentary essay also looks like an annotated bibliography . Typically, writers adopt annotations when they need to explain complex words, phrases, or concepts to readers; give a historical or cultural context of the topic; support or challenge the author’s arguments in an essay; expose literary devices, like contrast, irony, or sarcasm, or rhetorical devices, like ethos, pathos, and logos; provide a personal interpretation of the text under analysis. Therefore, annotations aim to enhance the reader’s understanding of a short passage from a source. Below are three examples of annotations of complex content in writing a commentary essay for Christopher Dewdney’s Poem “Night Wind.”

3 Examples of a Commentary With Annotations

➖ “The night wind is an empire / in exodus, a deliverance / beside the dark shape of trees.”

This statement is in lines 13-15 of Dewdney’s poem, where the poet alludes to a biblical concept, exodus, to express the wind’s freedom. By stating that the wind is “… in exodus, a deliverance…,” Dewdney makes the reader compare the wind to the incident in the book of Exodus in the Bible where Moses leads the children of Israel, God’s chosen people, to Canaan, the promised land, after freeing a life of bondage in Egypt. In this respect, lines 13-15 confirm that the wind is free and expresses nature’s freedom.

➖ “The wind takes / me in its giddy rush and / gathers me into a storm of longing, / rising on wings of darkness.”

In this statement in lines 18-21, the phrase “wings of darkness” emphasizes the wind’s freedom and mystery. The poet contextualizes the wind as an unpredictable force that can take a person anywhere .

➖ “Along oceans and rivers, / the gale’s mysterious, unspoken imperative / is a joyous delirium with / nothing at its end.”

This passage in lines 36-39 expresses Dewdney’s excitement in not knowing where the wind may take him. It suggests that it does not matter where the wind takes him because he is truly free. In essence, the statement makes the reader imagine the wind as a mystery because it can take one anywhere, emphasizing the theme of freedom.

3️⃣ Data Commentary

Data commentary is another type of alternative essay commentary where writers summarize a study by analyzing critical information that helps readers have a sneak peek of the project. The features students should incorporate in a commentary essay include visual illustrations, like charts, diagrams, graphs, and tables, to capture statistical data, allowing readers to compare them easily. In this respect, data commentary reflects the results section of a research paper because that is where scholars use visual illustrations to report statistical data. Another feature is a conclusion summarizing a commentary essay by reiterating the key points and expressing the writer’s final remark, meaning the main perspective on the topic. Lastly, people must provide a reference page listing credible sources they consulted to write data commentaries, such as reports and research articles. Below is an example of data commentary.

Example of Data Commentary

Table 3 shows respondents’ responses to statements about the barriers to exercise prescription for people with mental illness. Those who agreed that patients’ mental health denies them the opportunity to exercise was 58%, while those who agreed that obtaining an injury during exercise is a concern was 45%. There was an overwhelming response by 87% of the respondents who agreed that exercise is beneficial and were interested in prescribing it for patients with mental health problems. However, only 13% agreed that prescribing exercise falls outside their job description. Nonetheless, 16% stated that they did not know how to prescribe exercise for the population. Overall, 71% approved that exercise professionals are best suited to prescribe exercise for people in the population.

Possible Uses of Block Quotations for Writing a Good Commentary Essay

When writing a commentary essay, students can use block quotations to organize comments. However, this feature is suitable mainly for extensive passages. In a simple definition, a block quote is a text that captures direct quotations longer than 40 words, which the writer offsets from the main text and does not include quotation marks. The text appears on a new line with a 0.5 inches indentation or five to seven spaces. Using single space for a block quote is standard, even in an essay requiring double spacing. Hence, students must know how to format block quotes in APA , MLA , Harvard , and Chicago/Turabian referencing styles when writing a commentary essay.

📕 APA Format

There are two ways in which students can write block quotes in the APA style when organizing their commentary essays.

I. The first block captures the author’s name before the quote:

In their tabulation of results, Vancampfort et al. (2019) showed:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (p. 2178).

“[Your comments on a block quote starts here]”

II. Alternatively, a block quote can have the author’s surname at the end:

According to the findings:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (Vancampfort et al., 2019, p. 2178).

📕 MLA Format

Similarly, the MLA style has two ways of formatting a block quote when organizing commentary essays.

I. Having the surname of the author preceding a block quote in an essay:

The results by Vancampfort et al. indicate:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (2178).

II. Having the author’s surname at the end of the quote:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (Vancampfort et al. 2178).

📕 Harvard Format

The Harvard style also has two ways of formatting a block quote when organizing commentary essays.

I. Indicating the author’s surname before a block quote in an essay:

In their findings, Vancampfort et al. (2019) established that:

II. Citing the author’s surname at the end of a block quote:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (Vancampfort et al. 2019, p. 2178).

📕 Chicago/Turabian Format

The Chicago/Turabian style also has two ways of formatting a block quote when organizing commentary essays.

I. Mentioning the author’s surname before a block quote in an essay:

According to Vancampfort et al.:

Almost 75% of the respondents indicated that they would “definitely” attend further training for exercise prescription for people with mental illness, in particular related to how to assess patients and how to motivate them towards an active lifestyle. More than seventy percent of the participants also reported that exercise to people with mental illness is actually best delivered by an exercise professional, although only one respondent referred patients to such an exercise professional (this passage must be formatted as a footnote). 1

II. Showing the author’s surname in a footnote:

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Key Features of Formatting Block Quotes When Writing a Commentary Essay

Looking at the examples of writing a commentary in an essay above, there are some similarities and differences in formatting block quotes. APA and Harvard are similar because they show the research article’s publication year and the page number of the information the writer cites in their commentary essay. The main difference is the arrangement of these details, including the place of putting comas. On the other hand, the MLA and Chicago/Turabian styles are similar in that they do not show the research article’s publication year. The main difference is that the Chicago/Turabian style uses footnotes to show the author(s) and all the bibliography details at the commentary essay’s end. The MLA style shows only the author’s surname and the page number in the text. In turn, people begin writing their commentaries in the following line after a block quote as a standard paragraph in all the formats.

Easy Sample Topics for Writing a Great Commentary Essay

Students should choose easy essay topics when writing a commentary essay to avoid complicating their tasks. Ideally, a specific topic should indicate a particular source document one is commenting on, such as a text, film, or image. The standard practice is that instructors define essay topics or commemorative speech topics students should write about. However, people can choose other themes they are comfortable with if such instructions do not exist for writing a commentary essay. The best approach to choosing an easy topic is to engage with course content and read widely to generate and incubate ideas. When the time for writing a commentary essay comes, one finds it easy to construct arguments fitting the task. The following are possible commentary essay topics because they suggest analyzing and examining a source from the writer’s perspective.

• In Memory of Amelia Earhart: Sky’s Fearless Lady
• The Central Themes in Harper Lee’s novel “To Kill a Mockingbird”
• “The Great Gatsby” Through Contemporary Lens
• The Rhetorical Stance in Jessica Grose’s “Cleaning: The Final Feminist Frontier”
• The Message in Robert Frost’s Poem “The Road Not Taken”
• Maya Angelou’s Magic in “And Still I Rise”
• Demystifying Mental Disorders Through the Film “Black Swan (2010)”
• The Essence of Margaret Atwood’s “Negotiating With the Dead: A Writer on Writing”

Sample Outline Template for Writing a Commentary Essay

• Title of a commentary essay must be precise to an assigned topic.
• Title must be short, clear, and easily understandable.
• Title must be interesting, catchy, and with relevant keywords.

I. Introduction Section of a Commentary Essay

• College essay introduction must have a hook that interests readers enough to grab their attention and stirs a curiosity to continue reading.
• Introduction must refer to a specific source (text, film, or image) and its author(s).
• Introduction must summarize an assigned source that includes the main characters (if any), themes, or concepts.
• Introduction must have a clear thesis statement that states the writer’s claim.

II. Body Section of a Commentary Essay

Body paragraphs (at least three):

• Each body paragraph of a commentary essay must have a topic sentence that emphasizes a single idea central to the main claim in the thesis statement that the writer will defend in the paragraph.
• Each body paragraph must include evidence from a source under analysis, such as a quote, indicating the character responsible and the context.
• Each body paragraph must give a commentary about the evidence through relevant analysis, linking the information to the idea at the beginning of the paragraph and the claim in the thesis.
• Each body paragraph must end with a closing statement and a bridge sentence to facilitate a logical flow to the next paragraph or section.

III. Conclusion Section of a Commentary Essay

Sum up a commentary essay by:

• Restating the thesis.
• Emphasizing the main ideas of a commentary essay.
• Giving a final remark that confirms the importance of the essay topic.

Example of a Commentary Essay

Commentary Essay’s Title: The Rhetorical Stance in Jessica Grose’s “Cleaning: The Final Feminist Frontier”

I. Example of an Introduction of a Commentary Essay

A woman never rests, not with society constantly demanding her value at every turn. This idea is the message in Jessica Grose’s famous article, “Cleaning: The Final Feminist Frontier.” The author argues that cleaning remains a feature of women’s value in society, despite men’s growing involvement in childcare and cooking. The article also opens with personal accounts and convincing facts, suggesting its credibility as a source of information about the dynamics confronting American women. In her article, Grose communicates her message effectively by adopting a rhetorical stance characterized by emotional appeals.

II. Example of Body Paragraphs of a Commentary Essay

A. commentary on the main idea of the article.

Grose opens the article with a personal story of her and her husband cleaning their house after Hurricane Sandy forced them indoors. She uses the uneven distribution of the cleaning task in her marriage to point out the larger feminist issue of who between a husband and wife should do the job. The article gives three reasons why men shy away from the cleaning task, including the fact that it is women who receive praise for a clean house, the media focuses on men’s growing involvement in childcare and cooking, and it is not fun. According to Grose, even distribution of the cleaning task can happen by creating a task chart that shows who does what on the basis of skill and ability and adopting cleaning gadgets to make cleaning more fun.

Throughout the article, Grose uses sources to appeal to the readers’ ethos and build her argument. Some of the sources she uses to achieve these goals include a study by sociologists Judith Treas and Tsui-o Tai and an article by Matthew Krehbiel, North America Fabric Care Brand Manager for P&G. Citing these sources helps the author to build her credibility in the eyes of readers.

Regarding appeals to logos, Grose mentions statistics and interesting facts that help to enhance the logical progression of ideas central to her argument. To emphasize the uneven distribution of the cleaning task, she says, “My husband and I both work…I do the dishes nine times out of ten, and he barely knows how the washer and dryer work.” Such facts confirm and support the idea that women do more household chores than men. She also cites statistics, showing “55 percent of mothers working full-time in America do some housework daily compared to 18 percent of fathers.” In this respect, the article is factual about the uneven distribution of household chores that disadvantages women. As a result, the personal details and statistics from credible sources help Grose to impress upon the reader how society uses the domestic environment to subjugate women.

The article appeals to the readers’ pathos in the beginning and middle sections, where Grose uses emotionally-charged words and phrases to induce the audience’s sympathy. For example, Grose laments that, while she “was eight months pregnant,” her husband experienced the complexity of fighting “a massively pregnant person.” These words evoke an image in the readers’ mind that portrays women as vulnerable in the domestic space because of natural factors, like high emotions and pregnancy. Indeed, readers may feel sympathetic to Grose and the women who generally live in this social context. Moreover, using words and phrases, like ‘argued,’ ‘sucks,’ ‘be shunned,’ ‘be judged,’ and ‘headachey,’ evokes readers’ negative feelings about cleaning. As such, they are more drawn to sympathize with men and view men as selfish.

III. Example of a Conclusion of a Commentary Essay

Grose takes a rhetorical stand throughout the article to persuade her audience of the unfair distribution of cleaning labor in the domestic space. By referencing credible sources, citing statistics and interesting facts, and portraying women as adversely disadvantaged, Grose effectively appeals to the readers’ ethos, logos, and pathos. This rhetorical stand is critical in communicating how society remains unfair to women in the domestic space despite men’s growing involvement in some household chores like childcare and cooking.

4 Easy Steps for Writing a Commentary Essay

Writing a commentary essay is a technical process that requires students to grasp essential details. For example, these details reflect 4 writing steps: preparation, stage setup, writing a first draft, and wrap-up. Typically, each step’s details of writing a commentary essay reflect the wisdom writers should exhibit when creating any scholarly text.

Step 1: Preparation

Preparation is the first step of writing a commentary essay. As the name suggests, it is when writers take time to create a favorable environment to write their papers. The first task is identifying a single source, where students should select good sources they can analyze easily, including poems, novels, or films. The second task is to create a topic, where students must write short topics that communicate a precise message of a commentary essay.

Step 2: Stage Setup

Setting the stage is the second step of writing a commentary essay. The first task is to read, watch, or examine an assigned source to identify key themes and ideas. The second activity is to research reliable sources that help to generate ideas that align with these themes and concepts. The next task is to create a clear essay outline emphasizing the introduction, body, and conclusion with all the essential details.

Step 3: Writing a First Draft of a Commentary Essay

Writing a first draft is the third step in creating a commentary essay, and the focus is generating a paper that can be used for further editing and improvement. As such, students should organize their ideas into text, emphasizing the claim in the thesis statement, ideas in the topic sentences, evidence (quotes), and transitions in the body paragraphs. Students should also ensure the conclusion restates the thesis, summarizes the main ideas of a commentary essay, and gives a final remark about their commentaries, focusing on an assigned source and topic.

Step 4: Wrap-Up

The wrap-up is the last step in writing a commentary essay. The main focus is transforming a first draft into a final text by eliminating all mistakes and flaws. Typically, students should revise all sections that do not make sense to a central claim or those that affect the paper’s logical progression. They should also edit a commentary essay by adding or deleting words and phrases and eliminating grammatical mistakes, missing punctuation, formatting errors, and incorrect citations.

20 Tips for Writing a Commentary Essay

Looking at the information in the preceding sections, writing a great commentary essay is a complex task that requires students to demonstrate knowledge of what it takes to create a quality paper. Some of the tips for writing a commentary essay include identifying a single source, which can be a text, film, or image; noting the source’s basic information, like the author, title, and publication date; identifying the central themes in the source; writing an introduction that emphasizes the source’s basic information; creating a thesis that communicates a claim about the source; adopting the unique structure as above; beginning paragraphs with a topic sentence; incorporating quotes from the source into body paragraphs; commenting on the quotes and their significance; and concluding a commentary essay with a summary that makes a final remark about a single source and topic.

10 things to do when writing a commentary essay include:

• identifying a source for writing a commentary essay;
• reading, watching, or analyzing an assigned source carefully and closely;
• outlining critical details, like themes, ideas, and literary devices;
• writing an introduction with a hook and an argumentative thesis statement;
• providing body paragraphs with topic sentences, concluding sentences, quotes, commentary, and transitions;
• maintaining a formal tone in a commentary essay;
• using the applicable format (APA, MLA, Harvard, or Chicago/Turabian) correctly;
• presenting an introduction that summarizes a commentary essay;
• avoiding grammatical mistakes;
• proofreading a final version of a commentary essay.

10 things not to do include:

• failing to document the source’s essential details, like the author’s name and surname;
• concentrating on the introduction more than the body;
• not incorporating quotes in body paragraphs;
• focusing on too many ideas in a commentary essay;
• not defending the claim in the thesis;
• ignoring a unique outline of a commentary essay;
• writing with too many grammatical mistakes;
• using different formatting styles (APA, MLA, Harvard, and Chicago/Turabian);
• not implementing transitions in body paragraphs;
• creating a commentary essay without a logical flow of ideas and thoughts.

Summing Up on How to Write a Perfect Commentary Essay

• Choose a single source that is simple to analyze.
• Create a clear thesis that emphasizes the focus of a commentary essay, such as a claim.
• Identify passages or themes in an assigned source that help to build an argumentative claim.
• Use an introduction paragraph for its purpose: to introduce a specific topic. As such, it should be short and precise.
• Use a body section for its purpose: to analyze a particular source and defend a central claim comprehensively. Therefore, it should be long and have quotes as evidence.
• Use a conclusion part to summarize a commentary essay, and it should be concise. More importantly, it should leave readers with a lasting impression of a defined source and topic.

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How to Write a Commentary

Last Updated: May 19, 2023 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Richard Perkins . Richard Perkins is a Writing Coach, Academic English Coordinator, and the Founder of PLC Learning Center. With over 24 years of education experience, he gives teachers tools to teach writing to students and works with elementary to university level students to become proficient, confident writers. Richard is a fellow at the National Writing Project. As a teacher leader and consultant at California State University Long Beach's Global Education Project, Mr. Perkins creates and presents teacher workshops that integrate the U.N.'s 17 Sustainable Development Goals in the K-12 curriculum. He holds a BA in Communications and TV from The University of Southern California and an MEd from California State University Dominguez Hills. There are 8 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 678,034 times.

At some point in your life, you'll probably have to write a commentary. Whether you're a teacher, editor, student, or amateur critic, knowing how to constructively analyze someone's work is a useful skill. There isn't a magical formula for writing a commentary. The commentary you write depends upon what you're reviewing, why you're giving feedback, and what you think about the work. No matter what you’re working on, having a clear goal and strong writing will help make your commentary successful.

Writing a Literary Commentary

• Your thesis is your argument or your point of view. This is where you take a stance, and spend the rest of the essay supporting your thesis.
• Maybe you are writing a commentary on Great Expectations . Your thesis could be, “Not only is Dickens’ tale engaging, it is also an insightful commentary on the differences between social classes in industrial Britain.”

• You might write at the top of your outline, “Important Themes in Great Expectations”. You could then make bullet points such as “Setting”, “Ambition”, “Class”, etc.

• You might start by saying, “ Great Expectations is full of imagery that makes the reader feel as if they are in 19th century England with Pip. Dickens’ novel about class, ambition, and love sheds important light on the social divides of the time.”
• You could then list the themes that you will discuss in the body of your commentary.

• An excellent specific example to illustrate this theme is pointing out that the character remains in her wedding dress, despite being jilted decades before.

• You might write something like, “Miss Havisham is an example of the theme that love can sometimes go terribly wrong. This is also an important theme when examining the relationship between Pip and Estella.”
• Make sure to use smooth transitions. When you move to a new example, use a good transition word or phrase. Some examples are “similarly”, “conversely”, and “again”.

• In your commentary on Great Expectations , you would want to make sure that you emphasize your summary again: this is a good example of class divisions and how ambition is not always the best quality.
• You might also choose to compare it to another book from the same period to illustrate why the work by Dickens is significant. However, you generally shouldn’t introduce new information in your conclusion.

Creating Data Commentary

• You might also be asked by your boss or teacher to write a data commentary. Make sure to ask about their expectations, such as length.

• For example, if the research is about the graduation rate in the Chicago Public Schools, you need to explain the numbers and illustrate why the results are important.

• You might say something like, “As shown in Figure 1.2, the costs of healthcare have risen at a steady rate since 2000.”

• As in the rest of your data commentary, your conclusion should refer to specific pieces of data.

• You should include a specific section for resources at the end of your data commentary.
• Any time you cite numbers or a quote, make sure to provide a reference.

Commentary Outlines

Expert Q&A

• If you are writing a commentary for a class, make sure to carefully follow the instructions. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Make sure to carefully edit and polish your writing. Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0

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• ↑ https://www.bucks.edu/media/bcccmedialibrary/pdf/HOWTOWRITEALITERARYANALYSISESSAY_10.15.07_001.pdf
• ↑ Richard Perkins. Writing Coach & Academic English Coordinator. Expert Interview. 1 September 2021.
• ↑ http://www.udc.edu/docs/asc/Outline_Structure_for_Literary_Analysis_Essay_HATMAT.pdf
• ↑ https://www.germanna.edu/wp-content/uploads/tutoring/handouts/Literary-Analysis.pdf
• ↑ https://writingcenter.unc.edu/writing-data-commentary/
• ↑ https://ebooks.hslu.ch/academicwriting/chapter/4-5-results/
• ↑ https://warwick.ac.uk/fac/arts/modernlanguages/intranet/undergraduate/skills/commesswriting/commentarywriting/
• ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4789530/

About This Article

To write a commentary, write about your observations and analysis of the text you read. You should craft a clear and specific thesis statement about the novel, poem, or play you are evaluating. Your thesis statement should explain your stance or argument about the text. Use this thesis statement to build a brief outline of your commentary and then choose specific details from the text to support your argument. Then, add an introduction to give your reader some context for the themes you will discuss. For tips from our Education reviewer on how to write a data commentary, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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How to Write a Commentary Essay

What is a literary commentary, steps to prepare for a commentary, steps to write the commentary, it takes a broad thinking and analysis, it should be critical yet with a respectful tone, prepare before writing, outline the main points.

Useful information: Check research paper outline example and learn how to write it.

Check out our full review: Read More

Identifying the basic information

Mention about the theme, subject, and audience, observe the structure and genre of the content, identify how the text is presented, understand the tone, look for the literary devices that deepen the meaning, take the quotes included in the text, wrapping up your commentary with a summary, make your commentary presentable, ask for the feedback.

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Elements of an Essay: Writing Commentary

For several weeks now, we have been identifying the essential elements of essays and learning how to incorporate these effectively and successfully. We have discussed that the thesis statement is the glue that holds the entire paper together, the body paragraphs are the meat where the majority of your argument will be found, and last week we looked at how the details are the key to unlocking your argument .  Today we are going to take a look at the other extremely important factor in writing a well-thought out essay.  It is needed for every single detail that you write.  It is the commentary.

Commentary Definition

When you write commentary, you are explaining to your reader how the details relate to the thesis statement. Commentary does not contain facts.  Instead, they help explain why the details are relevant to the topic.

Writing Commentary

You are going to need at least two sentences of commentary for every detail sentence.  A good rule of thumb is that your commentary should be twice as long as your details.  Otherwise, your paper is just full of facts.  We want to know how YOU think these facts prove your point and what YOU think they mean.

Here are a few different methods for writing commentary:

1) Opinion: this is where you write your belief, subjective judgment or way of thinking about a detail .

2) Interpretation: your explanation of something that is not clear.

3) Character and Subject’s Feelings: when you describe what the character or subject of the detail is feeling (ideal for literary analysis papers)

4) Personal Reaction: your personal emotions about the detail.

5) Evaluations: your objective judgment of a detail.

Commentary is the Treasure

Your commentary is the treasure that makes your paper shine.  It should always strengthen and extend the details. This is your chance to show us what you’ve got.  It is where you can impress us with your analysis and interpretation skills.

“What and Why” Method

You may be thinking, “Analysis and interpretation skills?  What if I don’t possess those skills?”  Well breathe easy, because interpretation is really just a fancy word for “what,” while analysis simply means “why”.

So if you are struggling to write your commentary try using the “what and why” method.  First, tell the reader WHAT your detail is talking about by defining or explaining.  Next, let your reader know WHY this detail is relevant to your thesis statement.

Starting Commentary Sentences

If you are struggling to start your commentary, consider beginning your commentary in one of the following ways:

“This shows that…”

 “This is important because…”

Obviously, you cannot start every sentence you write like that since this would be redundant.  However, even if you do not write these phrases at the beginning of all of your sentences, it is helpful even just to think these phrases in order to guide your commentary in the right direction.

Applying Commentary Techniques

Now that we have discussed the different options for writing commentary, and the method for doing  so, let’s put them together and see what is looks like.

Commentary Type: Opinion using the “what and why” method

Topic: education

Detail: According to the 2013 National Assessment of Education Progress Reading test, 80% of students score below grade level in reading.

Commentary: Your commentary for this detail will answer the following questions: (1) “WHAT is my opinion?” and (2) “WHY is my opinion relevant to my thesis statement?”

(1)  A statistic like this shows the poor state of the education.  (2) If we are to help students become successful adults, we need to change the way we are educating our children.

Commentary Type: Interpretation using the “what and why” method

Topic: benefits of college

Detail: First of all, of 2,350,000 college students enrolling per year, only 1,750,000 will graduate.

Commentary: Your commentary for this detail will answer the following questions: (1) “WHAT is my interpretation?” and (2) “WHY is my interpretation relevant to my thesis statement?”

(1) This shows that the high demand placed on students during their college years is too much stress for many.  (2) However rigorous it may be though, the pressure and expectations are reflective of a future career and help prepare young adults for these challenges.

Commentary Type: Character or Subject Feelings using the “what and why” method

Topic: cost of higher education

Detail:  For example, Benjamin Davis, a recent college graduate with a degree in Business, struggled for many years to find a job because of the recent unemployment struggles in America

Commentary: Your commentary for this detail will answer the following questions: (1) “WHAT is the subject’s feelings?” and (2) “WHY is subjects feelings relevant to my thesis statement?”

(1) He, like most, experiences extreme frustration at spending a great deal of time and money obtaining his degree, but feeling like he has very little advantage over others without a degree when finding a job. (2) As a result, many who find themselves in a similar situation are left wondering if higher education is worth the high cost.

Commentary Type: Personal Reaction using the “what and why” method

Topic: bullying

Detail: Also,  a bully might speak cruelly in order to intimidate, steal a student’s belongings, or intentionally exclude one from a group .

Commentary: Your commentary for this detail will answer the following questions: (1) “WHAT is my personal reaction?” and (2) “WHY is my personal reaction relevant to my thesis statement?”

(1) It is extremely upsetting to know that most children undergo this type of treatment at school. (2) It is hurtful, isolating, and can have long-lasting psychological damage on those students who experience bullying often.

Commentary Type: Evaluation using the “what and why” method

Topic: bears

Detail: Naturally, a bear, when threatened, will rise up from the ground, growl loudly, and begin charging at a speed of up to 35 mph.

Commentary: Your commentary for this detail will answer the following questions: (1) “WHAT is my evaluation?” and (2) “WHY is my evaluation relevant to my thesis statement?”

(1) Although this is a frightening experience, it is not entirely the bear’s fault. (2) In fact, most of the time when a bear attacks a person, it is the result of a person not understanding that when going out into the woods, he or she is entering a bear’s environment; forgetting to be respectful and cautious can cause the bear to react thusly.

When To Use Commentary Types

Depending on your assignment, choose the types of commentary that best fits your argument.  Use of a variety of different types of commentary to write a well-argued paper.

Go back and look at step two of writing details from last week’s blog.  Look at the commentary you wrote and update it to fit into the “what and why” method using some of the above types of commentary.  If you did not do that step last week, go ahead and use the worksheet found here.

We hope this helped you when writing commentary.  If you still need help, call Oxford Tutoring for support or to schedule a writing tutoring session.

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Composition Writing Studio

Argumentative essay/commentary.

From the University of Purdue’s Online Writing Lab (http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/685/05/):

The argumentative essay is a genre of writing that requires the student to investigate a topic, collect, generate, and evaluate evidence, and establish a position on the topic in a concise manner.

Argumentative essay assignments generally call for extensive research of literature or previously published material. Argumentative assignments may also require empirical research where the student collects data through interviews, surveys, observations, or experiments. Detailed research allows the student to learn about the topic and to understand different points of view regarding the topic so that s/he may choose a position and support it with the evidence collected during research. Regardless of the amount or type of research involved, argumentative essays must establish a clear thesis and follow sound reasoning.

• Argument Essays: Getting Started
• Developing Paragraphs
• Finding Academic Journals
• Logical Fallacies
• Research Writing

General Resources:

• Argument :   UNC Chapel Hill Writing Center's online handout in argument.
• Types of Argument
• Writing Arguments: An Overview :  Comprehensive guide from Colorado State University's Writing Studio
• Sample Argument Essays
• Prompts for Argument Essays :  301 ideas from the New York Times
• Argument :  Main page for several argument sources from Oregon State University
• Using Rhetorical Strategies for Persuasion

Rhetorical Appeals (Logos, Pathos, Ethos)

• Examples of Ethos, Pathos, and Logos :  Numerous examples of each appeal from YourDictionary
• The Rhetorical Situation :  Purdue OWL's discussion of Aristotle's three appeals and use of telos and kairos
• Ethos, Pathos, and Logos in Advertising :  YouTube video
• Ethos, Pathos, Logos:   YouTube video

Toulmin Argument

• Toulmin Method :  An extensive online guide from Colorado State University on using the Toulmin method of argumentation
• Toulmin Method of Analyzing Arguments :  PowerPoint that defines and offers examples for Toulmin method
• Definition of the Toulmin Method :  Adaptation of a chapter on Toulmin's approach to argument
• Toulmin Argument (Aims of Argument) :  YouTube video

Rogerian Argument

• Rogerian Argument :  Information on definition and format of argument
• Rogerian Argument Example :  YouTube Video
• Rogerian Argument :  YouTube Video

Counter Arguments/Perspectives

• Counter Argument :  Overview provided by Harvard College
• Writing Counter Argument Paragraphs :  YouTube video
• Rhetorical Fallacies

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• Commenting Efficiently

10 STRATEGIES FOR RESPONDING TO STUDENT WRITING MORE EFFICIENTLY

• Skim through the pile to discern the range of responses to an assignment.
• Read each essay through quickly, before making any marks, to identify major strengths and weaknesses.
• Think about strengths and weaknesses in terms of clear assessment criteria—thesis, structure, analysis, and so on.
• Comment representatively in the margins by noting patterns.
• Use a reliable format for structuring final comments—for example, restatement of thesis, discussion of strengths, and discussion of weaknesses.
• Identify in final comments no more than three or four areas for improvement.
• Design effective writing assignments.
• Respond to proposals, outlines, and drafts.
• Organize students into writing groups.
• Ask for a cover letter.
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Department of History

Guide to writing a commentary on primary source(s).

This shorter assignment (1,500-words, worth 10%) takes the form of a commentary on a primary source or two conceptually linked sources or a comparison of two primary sources. You could take any of the documents set out for the classes on the module website (whether or not we have yet discussed them) or find the longer versions of them if they are extracts, or choose another document (please ask me about the latter).

Each week we discuss pieces of primary text, so essentially this exercise replicates on paper the type of analysis you routinely conduct in class. The assignment will also help prepare you for both a second or third year dissertation, or a third year module, where close engagement with primary material is a basic requirement.

Focus on text, context and significance .

You don't need a question heading unless you would find it useful to give you an angle on the source(s).

Some questions you might want to ask (not all will be applicable to all sources, but many will be):

• Text. What are the essential or notable features of what is being said [this might have to do with the language/wording used as much as the content]? What keywords, phrases or concepts are involved? Why are they important?
• Context. Who wrote this and what do we know about them – is it important? What do we know about the aims of the author(s)? When was it written and is this significant? In what ways is it significant to know the historical context in which it was written?
• What is the significance of what is being said? Is this text part of a larger series of texts and if so, does this larger corpus have significance? How does the piece relate to other texts and to the period as a whole? Was it representative? innovative? aberrant? Influential? What is its broader historical significance? How did readers react? Does the piece raise historiographical questions or relate to a historiographical debate? What are the key debates to which this relates? How have historians interpreted it or documents like it?

The marking criteria are the same as for any other piece of work. Reference secondary material in the normal way. You can refer to the online versions of the sample documents (cite as 'Coursework document X, p.y) or go back to the originals.

Commentary Essay Topics

50+ commentary essay topics for easy writing.

Commentary essays are all about your opinions, interpretations, analyses, and reactions. To write a good one, you’ll require a great topic to inspire you.

The topic-picking stage of your commentary essay can be a big bottleneck and stop any progress from being done. To help you with the assignment, we thought up and gathered essay topics about commentary. All that left for you to do, is select one commentary essay topic from the list, and you’re halfway there!

How to Select the Best Commentary Essay Topic?

Over 50 commentary essay topics are quite a lot! You come to this realization when trying to go through the list of topics. However, don’t get discouraged, you’ll quickly get yourself a main commentary essay subject!

Simply follow the steps below:

• Review your professor’s notes on the commentary assignment.
• Run down the list of essay topics.
• Remember the ones that interest you the most.
• Research the commentary essay topics which took your attention
• Pick the topic for the commentary essay that has the most info available online.

Following our small guide turns the process of selecting from a hanging task into less than 10 minutes of work. Also, picking a commentary essay topic our way makes the writing process easier too! In the end, you’ll be discussing the commentary essay topic that you know for sure has tons of information online.

List of Commentary Essay Topics: 15 BEST Ideas

Here are 15 great commentary topics to discuss in the essay. They’re a safe bet, and you can’t go wrong with choosing one of them.

• Sentenced to death – appropriate punishment for major wrongdoings?
• Female mistreatment in Muslim countries: a problem or an untouchable part of the culture?
• Misplaced public fears stopping worldwide progress. The COVID vaccination tendencies.
• None of the approaches to dealing with coronavirus have been successful so far.
• Royal Family in the UK: a relict of the past to be forgotten.
• The hypocrisy of 2021: nobody wants COVID, but no one also wants imposed restrictions.
• Biden’s attitude toward Russian geopolitics and Putin will destroy US-RUS relations.
• Populism is killing impactful politics and substituting it with empty promises.
• Suicide shouldn’t be illegal – Spain legalizing euthanasia.
• Acting upon misogynistic beliefs and doing felonies is a hate crime.
• Even the most progressive governments avoid addressing today’s gender issues.
• Geopolitical conflicts between major powers will always happen as long as humans exist.
• We don’t pay enough attention to global existential threats until it’s too late.
• Net neutrality must be brought back because freedom of choice suffers greatly right now.
• United Nations should have more powers to stop the persecution in sovereign countries.

10 Social Commentary Essay Topics

You’re more interested in social problems? Below you’ll find related commentary topics.

• Traditional religions are too outdated and should be replaced with a cultural ideology.
• Discerning sex and gender. Should pay attention only to one of the two?
• How much regulation of the citizen’s social life is an overreach in governmental powers?
• Regular people suffer the most from wars, but they do not instigate the conflicts.
• Members of single-parent families are often discriminated against.
• Only drug distribution and selling should be illegal. Drug users need medical rehabilitation.
• Social media networks make bullying a seemingly less hurtful act and easier to do.
• The capitalistic environments made Western society into a materially obsessed cult.
• The line between caring for the health of others and body shaming.
• How poverty throws people into inescapable environments with no social movement.

10 Personal Commentary Essay Topics

Want to create a personal essay? Here are some viable ideas.

• The biggest day-to-day challenge you have to deal with on a personal level.
• Figuring out the best field of work for yourself: difficulty, creativity, and engagement.
• When is it okay to give something up? Real-life examples of turning failure into success.
• The importance of setting and keeping to daily, monthly, and yearly goals.
• Is having a purpose in life important? Can people lead happy lives without it?
• The most interesting read you had lately and its impact on your personality.
• Where do you end? Your body? Interests and hobbies? Relatives? Acquaintances?
• Is creativity the quintessential aspect of being human?
• Can all relationships be mended? What is “going too far” for you personally?
• If you’d have infinite stable income without having to work, would you still work?

10 Higher Education Topics for Commentary Essay

Higher education will always be a hot topic. So, why not select a related commentary essay topic?

• Plagiarism is abundant in higher education settings – Tutors simply just turn a blind eye.
• Is going to college essential to having a good life prospect on average?
• Racial issues in higher education: from enrolment up to academia.
• Should higher education be as standardized as it is today?
• Adapting to coronavirus pandemic – Going online is good.
• We should abolish the student fees for people’s 1 st higher education degree.
• Should single-sex university accommodations be the only available option to students?
• Grades in universities: Are they relevant at all nowadays?
• Uniform in colleges? Why is it nowhere to be seen in contemporary institutions?
• To what extent should we employ technology to teach advanced topics?

10 Commentary Essay Ideas to Get Started Easily

Don’t want to get bogged down with your commentary essay? Then definitely pick something from the 10 options below.

• Energy beverages must be prohibited in schools and universities alike.
• In-person and website casinos are more detrimental to society than they bring in tax money.
• We must illegalize hunting and instead only control animal populations when needed.
• Limiting children’s exposure to web content is a good practice.
• Cartoons during childhood, adolescence, and adulthood: the differences in reception.
• Zombies and other monsters in the popular US media formats.
• Healthcare system in the US and how it can be improved.
• Alcoholic beverages and tobacco products ought to be considered drugs.
• Capitalism is failing most societal classes and groups: only 1% truly benefit from it.
• The teacher’s and professor’s personalities influence the forming of student individualities.

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When Prison and Mental Illness Amount to a Death Sentence

The downward spiral of one inmate, Markus Johnson, shows the larger failures of the nation’s prisons to care for the mentally ill.

Supported by

By Glenn Thrush

Photographs by Carlos Javier Ortiz

Glenn Thrush spent more than a year reporting this article, interviewing close to 50 people and reviewing court-obtained body-camera footage and more than 1,500 pages of documents.

• Published May 5, 2024 Updated May 7, 2024

Markus Johnson slumped naked against the wall of his cell, skin flecked with pepper spray, his face a mask of puzzlement, exhaustion and resignation. Four men in black tactical gear pinned him, his face to the concrete, to cuff his hands behind his back.

He did not resist. He couldn’t. He was so gravely dehydrated he would be dead by their next shift change.

Listen to this article with reporter commentary

“I didn’t do anything,” Mr. Johnson moaned as they pressed a shield between his shoulders.

It was 1:19 p.m. on Sept. 6, 2019, in the Danville Correctional Center, a medium-security prison a few hours south of Chicago. Mr. Johnson, 21 and serving a short sentence for gun possession, was in the throes of a mental collapse that had gone largely untreated, but hardly unwatched.

He had entered in good health, with hopes of using the time to gain work skills. But for the previous three weeks, Mr. Johnson, who suffered from bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, had refused to eat or take his medication. Most dangerous of all, he had stealthily stopped drinking water, hastening the physical collapse that often accompanies full-scale mental crises.

Mr. Johnson’s horrific downward spiral, which has not been previously reported, represents the larger failures of the nation’s prisons to care for the mentally ill. Many seriously ill people receive no treatment . For those who do, the outcome is often determined by the vigilance and commitment of individual supervisors and frontline staff, which vary greatly from system to system, prison to prison, and even shift to shift.

The country’s jails and prisons have become its largest provider of inpatient mental health treatment, with 10 times as many seriously mentally ill people now held behind bars as in hospitals. Estimating the population of incarcerated people with major psychological problems is difficult, but the number is likely 200,000 to 300,000, experts say.

Many of these institutions remain ill-equipped to handle such a task, and the burden often falls on prison staff and health care personnel who struggle with the dual roles of jailer and caregiver in a high-stress, dangerous, often dehumanizing environment.

In 2021, Joshua McLemore , a 29-year-old with schizophrenia held for weeks in an isolation cell in Jackson County, Ind., died of organ failure resulting from a “refusal to eat or drink,” according to an autopsy. In April, New York City agreed to pay $28 million to settle a lawsuit filed by the family of Nicholas Feliciano, a young man with a history of mental illness who suffered severe brain damage after attempting to hang himself on Rikers Island — as correctional officers stood by.

Mr. Johnson’s mother has filed a wrongful-death suit against the state and Wexford Health Sources, a for-profit health care contractor in Illinois prisons. The New York Times reviewed more than 1,500 pages of reports, along with depositions taken from those involved. Together, they reveal a cascade of missteps, missed opportunities, potential breaches of protocol and, at times, lapses in common sense.

Prison officials and Wexford staff took few steps to intervene even after it became clear that Mr. Johnson, who had been hospitalized repeatedly for similar episodes and recovered, had refused to take medication. Most notably, they did not transfer him to a state prison facility that provides more intensive mental health treatment than is available at regular prisons, records show.

The quality of medical care was also questionable, said Mr. Johnson’s lawyers, Sarah Grady and Howard Kaplan, a married legal team in Chicago. Mr. Johnson lost 50 to 60 pounds during three weeks in solitary confinement, but officials did not initiate interventions like intravenous feedings or transfer him to a non-prison hospital.

And they did not take the most basic step — dialing 911 — until it was too late.

There have been many attempts to improve the quality of mental health treatment in jails and prisons by putting care on par with punishment — including a major effort in Chicago . But improvements have proved difficult to enact and harder to sustain, hampered by funding and staffing shortages.

Lawyers representing the state corrections department, Wexford and staff members who worked at Danville declined to comment on Mr. Johnson’s death, citing the unresolved litigation. In their interviews with state police investigators, and in depositions, employees defended their professionalism and adherence to procedure, while citing problems with high staff turnover, difficult work conditions, limited resources and shortcomings of co-workers.

But some expressed a sense of resignation about the fate of Mr. Johnson and others like him.

Prisoners have “much better chances in a hospital, but that’s not their situation,” said a senior member of Wexford’s health care team in a deposition.

“I didn’t put them in prison,” he added. “They are in there for a reason.”

Markus Mison Johnson was born on March 1, 1998, to a mother who believed she was not capable of caring for him.

Days after his birth, he was taken in by Lisa Barker Johnson, a foster mother in her 30s who lived in Zion, Ill., a working-class city halfway between Chicago and Milwaukee. Markus eventually became one of four children she adopted from different families.

The Johnson house is a lively split level, with nieces, nephews, grandchildren and neighbors’ children, family keepsakes, video screens and juice boxes. Ms. Johnson sits at its center on a kitchen chair, chin resting on her hand as children wander over to share their thoughts, or to tug on her T-shirt to ask her to be their bathroom buddy.

From the start, her bond with Markus was particularly powerful, in part because the two looked so much alike, with distinctive dimpled smiles. Many neighbors assumed he was her biological son. The middle name she chose for him was intended to convey that message.

“Mison is short for ‘my son,’” she said standing over his modest footstone grave last summer.

He was happy at home. School was different. His grades were good, but he was intensely shy and was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in elementary school.

That was around the time the bullying began. His sisters were fierce defenders, but they could only do so much. He did the best he could, developing a quick, taunting tongue.

These experiences filled him with a powerful yearning to fit in.

It was not to be.

When he was around 15, he called 911 in a panic, telling the dispatcher he saw two men standing near the small park next to his house threatening to abduct children playing there. The officers who responded found nothing out of the ordinary, and rang the Johnsons’ doorbell.

He later told his mother he had heard a voice telling him to “protect the kids.”

He was hospitalized for the first time at 16, and given medications that stabilized him for stretches of time. But the crises would strike every six months or so, often triggered by his decision to stop taking his medication.

His family became adept at reading signs he was “getting sick.” He would put on his tan Timberlands and a heavy winter coat, no matter the season, and perch on the edge of his bed as if bracing for battle. Sometimes, he would cook his own food, paranoid that someone might poison him.

He graduated six months early, on the dean’s list, but was rudderless, and hanging out with younger boys, often paying their way.

His mother pointed out the perils of buying friendship.

“I don’t care,” he said. “At least I’ll be popular for a minute.”

Zion’s inviting green grid of Bible-named streets belies the reality that it is a rough, unforgiving place to grow up. Family members say Markus wanted desperately to prove he was tough, and emulated his younger, reckless group of friends.

Like many of them, he obtained a pistol. He used it to hold up a convenience store clerk for $425 in January 2017, according to police records. He cut a plea deal for two years of probation, and never explained to his family what had made him do it.

But he kept getting into violent confrontations. In late July 2018, he was arrested in a neighbor’s garage with a handgun he later admitted was his. He was still on probation for the robbery, and his public defender negotiated a plea deal that would send him to state prison until January 2020.

An inpatient mental health system

Around 40 percent of the about 1.8 million people in local, state and federal jails and prison suffer from at least one mental illness, and many of these people have concurrent issues with substance abuse, according to recent Justice Department estimates.

Psychological problems, often exacerbated by drug use, often lead to significant medical problems resulting from a lack of hygiene or access to good health care.

“When you suffer depression in the outside world, it’s hard to concentrate, you have reduced energy, your sleep is disrupted, you have a very gloomy outlook, so you stop taking care of yourself,” said Robert L. Trestman , a Virginia Tech medical school professor who has worked on state prison mental health reforms.

The paradox is that prison is often the only place where sick people have access to even minimal care.

But the harsh work environment, remote location of many prisons, and low pay have led to severe shortages of corrections staff and the unwillingness of doctors, nurses and counselors to work with the incarcerated mentally ill.

In the early 2000s, prisoners’ rights lawyers filed a class-action lawsuit against Illinois claiming “deliberate indifference” to the plight of about 5,000 mentally ill prisoners locked in segregated units and denied treatment and medication.

In 2014, the parties reached a settlement that included minimum staffing mandates, revamped screening protocols, restrictions on the use of solitary confinement and the allocation of about $100 million to double capacity in the system’s specialized mental health units.

Yet within six months of the deal, Pablo Stewart, an independent monitor chosen to oversee its enforcement, declared the system to be in a state of emergency.

Over the years, some significant improvements have been made. But Dr. Stewart’s final report , drafted in 2022, gave the system failing marks for its medication and staffing policies and reliance on solitary confinement “crisis watch” cells.

Ms. Grady, one of Mr. Johnson’s lawyers, cited an additional problem: a lack of coordination between corrections staff and Wexford’s professionals, beyond dutifully filling out dozens of mandated status reports.

“Markus Johnson was basically documented to death,” she said.

‘I’m just trying to keep my head up’

Mr. Johnson was not exactly looking forward to prison. But he saw it as an opportunity to learn a trade so he could start a family when he got out.

On Dec. 18, 2018, he arrived at a processing center in Joliet, where he sat for an intake interview. He was coherent and cooperative, well-groomed and maintained eye contact. He was taking his medication, not suicidal and had a hearty appetite. He was listed as 5 feet 6 inches tall and 256 pounds.

Mr. Johnson described his mood as “go with the flow.”

A few days later, after arriving in Danville, he offered a less settled assessment during a telehealth visit with a Wexford psychiatrist, Dr. Nitin Thapar. Mr. Johnson admitted to being plagued by feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness and “constant uncontrollable worrying” that affected his sleep.

He told Dr. Thapar he had heard voices in the past — but not now — telling him he was a failure, and warning that people were out to get him.

At the time he was incarcerated, the basic options for mentally ill people in Illinois prisons included placement in the general population or transfer to a special residential treatment program at the Dixon Correctional Center, west of Chicago. Mr. Johnson seemed out of immediate danger, so he was assigned to a standard two-man cell in the prison’s general population, with regular mental health counseling and medication.

Things started off well enough. “I’m just trying to keep my head up,” he wrote to his mother. “Every day I learn to be stronger & stronger.”

But his daily phone calls back home hinted at friction with other inmates. And there was not much for him to do after being turned down for a janitorial training program.

Then, in the spring of 2019, his grandmother died, sending him into a deep hole.

Dr. Thapar prescribed a new drug used to treat major depressive disorders. Its most common side effect is weight gain. Mr. Johnson stopped taking it.

On July 4, he told Dr. Thapar matter-of-factly during a telehealth check-in that he was no longer taking any of his medications. “I’ve been feeling normal, I guess,” he said. “I feel like I don’t need the medication anymore.”

Dr. Thapar said he thought that was a mistake, but accepted the decision and removed Mr. Johnson from his regular mental health caseload — instructing him to “reach out” if he needed help, records show.

The pace of calls back home slackened. Mr. Johnson spent more time in bed, and became more surly. At a group-therapy session, he sat stone silent, after showing up late.

By early August, he was telling guards he had stopped eating.

At some point, no one knows when, he had intermittently stopped drinking fluids.

‘I’m having a breakdown’

Then came the crash.

On Aug. 12, Mr. Johnson got into a fight with his older cellmate.

He was taken to a one-man disciplinary cell. A few hours later, Wexford’s on-site mental health counselor, Melanie Easton, was shocked by his disoriented condition. Mr. Johnson stared blankly, then burst into tears when asked if he had “suffered a loss in the previous six months.”

He was so unresponsive to her questions she could not finish the evaluation.

Ms. Easton ordered that he be moved to a 9-foot by 8-foot crisis cell — solitary confinement with enhanced monitoring. At this moment, a supervisor could have ticked the box for “residential treatment” on a form to transfer him to Dixon. That did not happen, according to records and depositions.

Around this time, he asked to be placed back on his medication but nothing seems to have come of it, records show.

By mid-August, he said he was visualizing “people that were not there,” according to case notes. At first, he was acting more aggressively, once flicking water at a guard through a hole in his cell door. But his energy ebbed, and he gradually migrated downward — from standing to bunk to floor.

“I’m having a breakdown,” he confided to a Wexford employee.

At the time, inmates in Illinois were required to declare an official hunger strike before prison officials would initiate protocols, including blood testing or forced feedings. But when a guard asked Mr. Johnson why he would not eat, he said he was “fasting,” as opposed to starving himself, and no action seems to have been taken.

‘Tell me this is OK!’

Lt. Matthew Morrison, one of the few people at Danville to take a personal interest in Mr. Johnson, reported seeing a white rind around his mouth in early September. He told other staff members the cell gave off “a death smell,” according to a deposition.

On Sept. 5, they moved Mr. Johnson to one of six cells adjacent to the prison’s small, bare-bones infirmary. Prison officials finally placed him on the official hunger strike protocol without his consent.

Mr. Morrison, in his deposition, said he was troubled by the inaction of the Wexford staff, and the lack of urgency exhibited by the medical director, Dr. Justin Young.

On Sept. 5, Mr. Morrison approached Dr. Young to express his concerns, and the doctor agreed to order blood and urine tests. But Dr. Young lived in Chicago, and was on site at the prison about four times a week, according to Mr. Kaplan. Friday, Sept. 6, 2019, was not one of those days.

Mr. Morrison arrived at work that morning, expecting to find Mr. Johnson’s testing underway. A Wexford nurse told him Dr. Young believed the tests could wait.

Mr. Morrison, stunned, asked her to call Dr. Young.

“He’s good till Monday,” Dr. Young responded, according to Mr. Morrison.

“Come on, come on, look at this guy! You tell me this is OK!” the officer responded.

Eventually, Justin Duprey, a licensed nurse practitioner and the most senior Wexford employee on duty that day, authorized the test himself.

Mr. Morrison, thinking he had averted a disaster, entered the cell and implored Mr. Johnson into taking the tests. He refused.

So prison officials obtained approval to remove him forcibly from his cell.

‘Oh, my God’

What happened next is documented in video taken from cameras held by officers on the extraction team and obtained by The Times through a court order.

Mr. Johnson is scarcely recognizable as the neatly groomed 21-year-old captured in a cellphone picture a few months earlier. His skin is ashen, eyes fixed on the middle distance. He might be 40. Or 60.

At first, he places his hands forward through the hole in his cell door to be cuffed. This is against procedure, the officers shout. His hands must be in back.

He will not, or cannot, comply. He wanders to the rear of his cell and falls hard. Two blasts of pepper spray barely elicit a reaction. The leader of the tactical team later said he found it unusual and unnerving.

The next video is in the medical unit. A shield is pressed to his chest. He is in agony, begging for them to stop, as two nurses attempt to insert a catheter.

Then they move him, half-conscious and limp, onto a wheelchair for the blood draw.

For the next 20 minutes, the Wexford nurse performing the procedure, Angelica Wachtor, jabs hands and arms to find a vessel that will hold shape. She winces with each puncture, tries to comfort him, and grows increasingly rattled.

“Oh, my God,” she mutters, and asks why help is not on the way.

She did not request assistance or discuss calling 911, records indicate.

“Can you please stop — it’s burning real bad,” Mr. Johnson said.

Soon after, a member of the tactical team reminds Ms. Wachtor to take Mr. Johnson’s vitals before taking him back to his cell. She would later tell Dr. Young she had been unable to able to obtain his blood pressure.

“You good?” one of the team members asks as they are preparing to leave.

“Yeah, I’ll have to be,” she replies in the recording.

Officers lifted him back onto his bunk, leaving him unconscious and naked except for a covering draped over his groin. His expressionless face is visible through the window on the cell door as it closes.

‘Cardiac arrest.’

Mr. Duprey, the nurse practitioner, had been sitting inside his office after corrections staff ordered him to shelter for his own protection, he said. When he emerged, he found Ms. Wachtor sobbing, and after a delay, he was let into the cell. Finding no pulse, Mr. Duprey asked a prison employee to call 911 so Mr. Johnson could be taken to a local emergency room.

The Wexford staff initiated CPR. It did not work.

At 3:38 p.m., the paramedics declared Markus Mison Johnson dead.

Afterward, a senior official at Danville called the Johnson family to say he had died of “cardiac arrest.”

Lisa Johnson pressed for more information, but none was initially forthcoming. She would soon receive a box hastily crammed with his possessions: uneaten snacks, notebooks, an inspirational memoir by a man who had served 20 years at Leavenworth.

Later, Shiping Bao, the coroner who examined his body, determined Mr. Johnson had died of severe dehydration. He told the state police it “was one of the driest bodies he had ever seen.”

For a long time, Ms. Johnson blamed herself. She says that her biggest mistake was assuming that the state, with all its resources, would provide a level of care comparable to what she had been able to provide her son.

She had stopped accepting foster care children while she was raising Markus and his siblings. But as the months dragged on, she decided her once-boisterous house had become oppressively still, and let local agencies know she was available again.

“It is good to have children around,” she said. “It was too quiet around here.”

Read by Glenn Thrush

Audio produced by Jack D’Isidoro .

Glenn Thrush covers the Department of Justice. He joined The Times in 2017 after working for Politico, Newsday, Bloomberg News, The New York Daily News, The Birmingham Post-Herald and City Limits. More about Glenn Thrush

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