The Mending Muse

The Power Of Independent Women: What You Need To Know

Do you ever wonder about the incredible strength and resilience of independent women ? In this guide, we will explore the power of these remarkable individuals and what you need to know about them.

Independent women are the driving force behind societal progress, challenging stereotypes and defying expectations every step of the way. They trailblaze in various industries, breaking barriers and paving the path for others to follow.

Despite facing countless challenges and adversities, they rise above and continue to thrive. Their stories of triumph and empowerment serve as a beacon of inspiration for all.

Get ready to be inspired, as we delve into the world of independent women and uncover the secrets to their incredible strength and success.

Table of Contents

Rise of Independent Women

You frequently witness the rise of independent women in today’s society. One of the key factors contributing to this rise is empowerment through education. Women are now more empowered than ever before, with access to quality education and opportunities for personal growth. Education provides women with the knowledge and skills they need to pursue their dreams and make informed decisions about their lives. It allows them to challenge societal norms and stereotypes, breaking free from traditional gender roles.

Financial independence is another crucial aspect of the rise of independent women. Women are no longer solely dependent on men for financial support. They’re actively participating in the workforce, pursuing careers, and earning their own income. This financial independence gives them a sense of freedom and control over their lives. They can make choices based on their own needs and aspirations without relying on others.

Through empowerment and financial independence, women are breaking barriers and shattering glass ceilings. They’re becoming leaders, entrepreneurs, and role models for future generations. This rise of independent women isn’t only beneficial for women themselves but also for society as a whole. It promotes equality, diversity, and a more inclusive society. Women are making their mark in various fields, contributing to the progress and development of the world. Their success serves as inspiration and encouragement for others to strive for independence and pursue their dreams.

Independent Women

Breaking Stereotypes and Expectations

Breaking Stereotypes and Expectations, many independent women are challenging societal norms and defying expectations placed upon them. These remarkable women are shattering glass ceilings and redefining success in their own terms. They refuse to conform to society’s limited definitions of what it means to be a woman.

In the face of adversity, independent women are breaking free from the traditional gender roles that have confined them for far too long. They’re proving that they can excel in male-dominated fields, like science, technology, engineering, and mathematics. These women aren’t only achieving great success, but they’re also inspiring future generations to dream big and pursue their passions.

Moreover, independent women are challenging societal expectations of marriage and motherhood. They’re choosing to prioritize their careers and personal growth, and they aren’t afraid to embrace their independence. By doing so, they’re showing that a woman’s worth isn’t solely defined by her relationship status or her ability to have children.

In redefining success, independent women are demonstrating that it isn’t solely measured by traditional markers of wealth and power. They’re pursuing their passions, making a difference in their communities, and finding fulfillment in their own unique ways. They’re redefining success as a personal journey of self-discovery, growth, and happiness.

Breaking Stereotypes and Expectations

Trailblazers in Various Industries

Influential women have emerged as trailblazers in various industries, reshaping the landscape and inspiring others along the way. Their influence in politics has been undeniable, as they challenge the status quo and fight for gender equality. Women like Kamala Harris, the first female Vice President of the United States, have shattered glass ceilings and shown that women can lead with strength and conviction.

Their impact on the arts has also been significant, as they use their platforms to address important social issues and advocate for change. Artists like Beyoncé and Taylor Swift have used their music to empower women and promote inclusivity, while actresses like Viola Davis and Emma Watson have used their fame to speak out against gender discrimination.

These trailblazers haven’t only achieved personal success, but they’ve also paved the way for future generations of women to succeed in their respective industries. Their determination, resilience, and unwavering commitment to their craft have made them powerful role models for women across the globe.

Overcoming Challenges and Adversities

Women in various industries have triumphed over challenges and adversities, demonstrating their resilience and determination to succeed. In a world that often tries to undermine their capabilities, women have shown remarkable strength and perseverance in the face of obstacles. Resilience is a crucial quality that enables women to bounce back from setbacks and continue pursuing their goals. Whether it’s facing gender bias, discrimination, or societal expectations, women have shown an unwavering determination to overcome these challenges and prove themselves.

One of the key factors that contribute to their success is the ability to find support networks. Building relationships with like-minded individuals who understand the struggles and can provide guidance and encouragement is vital. These support networks can include mentors, colleagues, friends, or even professional organizations that provide resources and opportunities for growth. By surrounding themselves with a strong support system, women can find the strength and motivation to keep pushing forward, even in the face of adversity.

Additionally, women have also learned to embrace their own inner strength and believe in themselves. They recognize their own worth and refuse to let their potential be limited by external factors. This self-belief empowers them to persevere through challenges and emerge stronger on the other side.

Overcoming Challenges and Adversities

Empowering and Inspiring Others

If you want to make a meaningful impact and uplift those around you, you can empower and inspire others by sharing your experiences and offering guidance. One powerful way to do this is by embracing and nurturing your own self-confidence and self-worth. When you believe in yourself and your abilities, it radiates to others and encourages them to do the same. By sharing your journey of self-discovery and self-acceptance, you can inspire others to embrace their own unique qualities and talents.

Additionally, building supportive networks and communities is essential in empowering and inspiring others. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals who uplift and encourage you creates an environment where everyone can thrive. By actively participating in these networks and communities, you can offer support, guidance, and mentorship to others who may be struggling or in need of inspiration.

Remember, empowering and inspiring others isn’t about being perfect or having all the answers. It’s about being authentic, vulnerable, and willing to share your experiences and lessons learned. By doing so, you can create a ripple effect of empowerment and inspiration, helping others realize their own potential and worth.

Frequently Asked Questions

How can women rise to become independent in today’s society.

You can rise to become independent in today’s society by developing strategies for achieving financial independence and prioritizing self care. It’s crucial to focus on your goals and take steps towards financial stability while also nurturing your mental and physical well-being.

What Are Some Common Stereotypes and Expectations That Independent Women Often Face?

Stereotypes and expectations often confront independent women. Breaking barriers and challenging societal norms is key. Embrace self-care by balancing independence and vulnerability.

Who Are Some Notable Trailblazers in Various Industries That Have Paved the Way for Independent Women?

Female trailblazers have had a significant impact on society by breaking barriers in male dominated industries. Their representation is crucial in inspiring and empowering independent women to pursue their goals and challenge stereotypes.

How Do Independent Women Overcome Challenges and Adversities in Their Personal and Professional Lives?

You overcome challenges and adversities by staying resilient. Independent women like you tackle obstacles head-on, adapting and finding solutions. You find a work-life balance by setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.

What Are Some Effective Ways for Independent Women to Empower and Inspire Others in Their Communities?

Connect with like-minded individuals to build a strong support system. Manage personal and professional commitments effectively by prioritizing and setting boundaries. Empower others by sharing your experiences, offering mentorship, and advocating for equal opportunities.

You’ve learned about the incredible power of independent women. They’ve risen above societal expectations, shattered stereotypes, and become trailblazers in various industries.

Despite facing challenges and adversities, they’ve overcome them with grace and determination. Their empowering stories inspire others to embrace their own independence and strive for greatness.

Remember, you too have the power to break barriers and make a difference in the world.

68 Independent Women Quotes — By Strong Women

Quote Graphic: Strong, independent women like you stand and deal with themselves, face the world with pride and confidence, and carry the universe in their heart. — Sonia Sotomayor

We all either know — or are — a strong, independent woman. 

What makes an independent woman is not her ability to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders (though, it seems we like to ask women to do that a lot), but her self-assurance, integrity, and authenticity in the face of a world that so often asks her to be small, obedient, and without complexity. 

Independent women are not independent because they are without community, partnership, or love, but rather because they show up as their full selves within those relationships. And that is something to celebrate.

Whether you’re honoring a brilliant independent woman in your life, trying to tap into that independent spirit yourself, or just want to more deeply explore femininity in its many forms, we’ve compiled some quotes for you. 

You might also like: Quotes To Empower Women | Strong Women Quotes |  Feminist Quotes |  Women’s History Month Quotes | News About Inspiring Women

The Best Independent Women Quotes

Famous quotes.

“A woman with a voice is a powerful woman. She has the confidence to realize her full potential and will be able to contribute significantly to the improvement of the planet.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“A woman with a voice is a powerful woman. She has the confidence to realize her full potential and will be able to contribute significantly to the improvement of the planet.” — Eleanor Roosevelt

“When you can’t find someone to follow, you have to find a way to lead by example.” — Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist

“When you can’t find someone to follow, you have to find a way to lead by example.” — Roxane Gay, Bad Feminist

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.” — Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

“Remember that no one will hand you power or responsibility; you must take them yourself and make the necessary effort to obtain them.” — Helen Keller

“Remember that no one will hand you power or responsibility; you must take them yourself and make the necessary effort to obtain them.” — Helen Keller

“Women, like men, should try to do the impossible, and when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others.” — Amelia Earhart

“Women, like men, should try to do the impossible, and when they fail, their failure should be a challenge to others.” — Amelia Earhart

“If you’re comfortable with yourself and know yourself, you’re going to shine and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to you.” — Dolly Parton 

“If you’re comfortable with yourself and know yourself, you’re going to shine and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to you.” — Dolly Parton 

“A strong, independent woman will break or bend the rules whenever and wherever it is essential to emerging above social norms that constrict or compel them into compliance.” — Sonia Sotomayor

“A strong, independent woman will break or bend the rules whenever and wherever it is essential to emerging above social norms that constrict or compel them into compliance.” — Sonia Sotomayor

“I want all the girls without an exception to have that space for themselves where they have opportunities to be the women they wish to be.” — Priyanka Chopra

“I want all the girls without an exception to have that space for themselves where they have opportunities to be the women they wish to be.” — Priyanka Chopra

“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.” — Madeleine Albright

“It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I am not going to be silent.” — Madeleine Albright

“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.” — bell hooks

“I will not have my life narrowed down. I will not bow down to somebody else’s whim or to someone else’s ignorance.” — bell hooks

“If I’m going to become a strong, independent woman and self-sufficient, I’m going to have to continue to make good decisions for myself.” — Porsha Williams

“If I’m going to become a strong, independent woman and self-sufficient, I’m going to have to continue to make good decisions for myself.” — Porsha Williams

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” — Brené Brown

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it.” — Brené Brown

“A strong, independent woman has the confidence to be her best self. Yes, it requires courage and strength, but it is well worth it.” — Sheryl Sandberg

“A strong, independent woman has the confidence to be her best self. Yes, it requires courage and strength, but it is well worth it.” — Sheryl Sandberg

“Strong, independent women like you stand and deal with themselves, face the world with pride and confidence, and carry the universe in their heart.” — Sonia Sotomayor

“Strong, independent women like you stand and deal with themselves, face the world with pride and confidence, and carry the universe in their heart.” — Sonia Sotomayor

“You’re going to walk into many rooms where you may be the only one who looks like you or who has had the experiences you’ve had. So you use that voice and be strong.” — Kamala Harris

“You’re going to walk into many rooms where you may be the only one who looks like you or who has had the experiences you’ve had. So you use that voice and be strong.” — Kamala Harris

“Beware, for I am fearless and therefore powerful.” — Mary Shelley

“Beware, for I am fearless and therefore powerful.” — Mary Shelley‍

Financially Independent Women Quotes

“Economic equity is enormous empowerment of women. Having jobs that provide income means that women can be a more effective force, a more equal force, in the political process. Women with income take themselves more seriously and they are taken more seriously.” — Betty Friedan

“Economic equity is enormous empowerment of women. Having jobs that provide income means that women can be a more effective force, a more equal force, in the political process. Women with income take themselves more seriously and they are taken more seriously.” — Betty Friedan

“Money won’t create success, but the freedom to make choices will lead to success in all areas of your life including financial independence.” — Oprah Winfrey

“Do what you love, and success will follow. Passion is the fuel behind a successful career.” — Meg Whitman

“A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction; and that, as you will see, leaves the great problem of the true nature of woman and the true nature of fiction unsolved.” — Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

“For women, financial independence is a matter of necessity.” — Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz

“For women, financial independence is a matter of necessity.”  — Carrie Schwab-Pomerantz‍

“I was desperate to understand money. Not to make it, to understand it. I wanted to know how it worked, and I wanted to know so that I would have enough and would be able to make good financial decisions.” — Mellody Hobson

“Financial independence is paramount. My mom always says that when a woman is financially independent, she has the ability to live life on her own terms. I think that was the soundest advice that I ever got. No matter where you go in life or who you get married to, you have to be financially independent — whether you use it or not.” — Priyanka Chopra

“When money flows into the hands of women, who have the authority to use it, everything changes — for women, their families, and their communities.” — Melinda Gates

“The notion that women shouldn’t care about personal success — or the work that gets them there — is disingenuous; it is impossible for women not to have jobs anymore, so it doesn’t make sense to expect them to structure their lives around getting married. The real failure is our cultural incapacity to make room for women to live and thrive outside of traditional conceptions of femininity and relationships. After all, we can eat without marriage, but not without work.” — Samhita Mukhopadhyay

“Even if I had my own money, which I don’t, it would belong to my husband the minute we were married. If we had children they would belong to him, not me. They would be his property. So don’t sit there and tell me that marriage isn’t an economic proposition, because it is.” — “Little Women” (2019)

“I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life — and I became that woman.” — Diane von Furstenberg

“I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life — and I became that woman.” — Diane von Furstenberg

Single Independent Women Quotes

“If you really are going to be a happy single, you have to stop treating being single as the annoying time that you pass between relationships and embrace it. Rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have: you.” — Natalie Lue

“If you really are going to be a happy single, you have to stop treating being single as the annoying time that you pass between relationships and embrace it. Rather than focusing on what you lack, focus on what you have: you.” — Natalie Lue

“Figure out who are you separate from your family, and the man or woman you’re in a relationship with. Find who you are in this world and what you need to feel good alone. I think that’s the most important thing in life. Find a sense of self. With that, you can do anything else.” — Angelina Jolie

“I’m not interested in being anyone’s arm candy, I’m not interested in being anyone’s accessory. I’m interested in being valued for who I am.” — Gloria Steinem

“I recommend to all my friends that they be alone for a while. When you’re in love or dating someone, you filter your life decisions through their eyes. When you spend a few years being who you are, completely unbiased, you can figure out what you actually want.” — Taylor Swift

“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself.” — Simone de Beauvoir

“I am too intelligent, too demanding, and too resourceful for anyone to be able to take charge of me entirely. No one knows me or loves me completely. I have only myself.” — Simone de Beauvoir

Short Quotes

“Own yourself, woman.” — Toni Morrison

“Own yourself, woman.” — Toni Morrison

“I like being a strong, independent woman, and to be honest, I was never afraid to be on my own.” — Dido Armstrong

“Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.” — Carol Burnett

“Power is not given to you. You must take it.” — Beyoncé

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.” — Kaci Diane

“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.” — Kaci Diane

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” — Maya Angelou

“You deserve the world even if it means giving it to yourself.” — r.h. Sin

“Every day is a new opportunity to change your life and be who you want to be.” — Demi Lovato

“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.” — Serena Williams

“You have to believe in yourself when no one else does.” — Serena Williams

“Do not whine… do not complain. Work harder. Spend more time alone.” — Joan Didion

“A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.” — Madonna

“It isn’t where you came from. It’s where you’re going that counts.” — Ella Fitzgerald

“I have an independent streak. You know, it’s kind of hard to tell an independent woman what to do.” — Betty Ford

“My mother told me to be a lady. And for her, that meant be your own person, be independent.” — Ruth Bader Ginsburg

“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher

“Be a first-rate version of yourself, not a second-rate version of someone else.” — Judy Garland

“A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” — Coco Chanel

“Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be.” — Elizabeth Gilbert

“You can’t be hesitant about who you are.” — Viola Davis

“I don’t want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself.” — Emma Watson

“I don’t want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself.” — Emma Watson‍

→ Read more short quotes

More Quotes

“No one can heal you. You must learn to be your own company, your own cure. You cannot retreat into someone else for fulfillment.” — Janet Mock

“No one can heal you. You must learn to be your own company, your own cure. You cannot retreat into someone else for fulfillment.” — Janet Mock

“When women lose themselves, the world loses its way. We do not need more selfless women. What we need right now is more women who have detoxed themselves so completely from the world’s expectations that they are full of nothing but themselves. What we need are women who are full of themselves. A woman who is full of herself knows and trusts herself enough to say and do what must be done. She lets the rest burn.” — Glennon Doyle

“Our collective experience has shown that when women have the power to make their own choices, good things happen.” — Madeleine Albright

“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world. I run my world.” — Beyoncé

“I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I only have to follow my heart and concentrate on what I want to say to the world. I run my world.” — Beyoncé

“I’m here. I’m present. I’m a contributor to society. I deserve to be part of this conversation. I have an opinion. Listen to me roar.” — Gina Rodriguez-LoCicero

“Our first job in life as women is to get to know ourselves. I think a lot of times we don’t do that. We spend our time pleasing, satisfying, looking out into the world to define who we are; listening to the messages, the images, the limited definitions that people have of who we are.” — Michelle Obama

“My mom raised me to be an independent woman, and if there is anything I want in life, to go after it. And that nobody could hold me back. The only person that could do that was myself. That’s the core of who I am and she ingrained that in me at a really young age, so I’ve been an independent, strong person my whole life.” — Liz Carmouche

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained.” — Marie Curie

“I’ve had a lot of voices tell me what I should be making. Personally, I would much rather live and die by my own hand. If my stuff sucks, then at least I made it suck. I didn’t allow some person, some old dude in a suit, to make it suck for me.” — Zendaya

“I found that every time I asked for permission the answer tended to be no, so I had to make my own yeses.” — Issa Rae

“I found that every time I asked for permission the answer tended to be no, so I had to make my own yeses.” — Issa Rae‍

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” — Audrey Hepburn

“I believe that it is as much a right and duty for women to do something with their lives as for men and we are not going to be satisfied with such frivolous parts as you give us.” — Louisa May-Alcott

“We need women who are so strong they can be gentle, so educated they can be humble, so fierce they can be compassionate, so passionate they can be rational, and so disciplined they can be free.” — Kavita Ramdas

“You need to know that you’re enough — a mantra that has now ingrained itself so deeply within me that not a day goes by without hearing it chime in my head.” — Meghan Markle

“We need to understand that there is no formula for how women should lead their lives. That is why we must respect the choices that each woman makes for herself and her family. Every woman deserves the chance to realize her God-given potential.” — Hillary Clinton

“I have a confidence about my life that comes from standing tall on my own two feet.” — Jane Fonda

“You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”  — “Barbie” (2023)

“You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault. I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.”  — “Barbie” (2023)

Article Details

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The Price of Being an Independent Woman

Too independent...really.

RASHMI OBEROI

I’ve been told to my face by nosy parkers that I am too independent – Too Independent? What does that really mean? I also don’t understand why the words ‘independent woman’ have been laden with negative connotations in today’s times, when in fact I find this is a very positive and empowering term. I think the common misconception people have when we say that “she’s an independent woman” is that she is a feminist or that she is someone who doesn’t need a man in her life. This for me is nothing but a mere misconception. I have studied feminism in great detail and I have found out that the two are different from each other – independence doesn’t necessarily include feminism; one can be independent even without being a die-hard feminist. Being independent doesn’t mean having a vendetta to make the world free from men or to overturn the rule of men. Herein lies the biggest mistaken belief. So when I say I’m an independent woman, I’m not claiming that I can live alone in this world. I would be a hypocrite if I said that I don’t need people in my life. Being an independent woman means being able to express yourself in whatever way that you like, and having the capacity to do the things that you want to do without forcing yourself to fit into a standard female stereotype. You can act the way that you want to act in order to express your innermost feelings without trying to look submissive, shy, or forcing any other trait which women are expected to have – simply because of being a woman. Being independent means having the confidence to make your own decisions and choices, having the courage and strength to voice out your own thoughts and opinions, having the finances to buy whatever you want (without needing the credit card of your man/family members). It means being strong and secure in your own person. To be a woman who is strong, determined and independent at the same time is a very powerful combination. Independence is a powerful gift that a woman can give to herself. It can lead her to reach greater heights and achieve higher goals. And at the end of the day, the happiness and contentment that a woman feels by being independent is all that matters. I think it is extremely important these days to be able to use that right of paying half the bill…to be able to afford the rent and have a roof over your head, to be able to shop for groceries, clothes, whatever the hell you feel like with your own money, to be able to take care of yourself etc. But that’s not the only thing it means. Being an independent woman means you speak your mind - You call people out when they start misbehaving or disrespecting you. You exercise the power of not letting them get away with it. It also entails supporting other women and not viewing them as your competition. I think it is perfectly alright to put yourself first in certain situations as well – it is alright to follow your passions. It is perfectly alright to not care what anyone else has to say about you, because you are proud of yourself for chasing after your wildest dreams. It is also important to be comfortable within the walls of your skin. Your independence doesn’t depend on your relationship status. It depends on your strength. On your energy. On how much you accomplish in a day. Being a strong, independent girl is harder than it used to be. For many girls, being considered strong and independent is a hard task, particularly in a world where people dismiss you for being independent. There are many factors that encourage independence thought. High self-esteem however, is the single most distinguishing characteristic of any creative thinker and is often what propels individual thinking, performance and success. Self-confidence can also be generated externally, through the thoughts and comments of other individuals. Whilst this works wonders to boost confidence in your ability it should not be used to replace self-esteem that is personally generated through a belief in your own abilities. All successful independent thinkers therefore have a clear understanding of self-worth. Persistence, belief, independent self-esteem, confidence, determination and creative awareness are just some of the qualities that an independent woman will bring to the table. These qualities, and others, often enable her to become more innovative in her thinking and will help her create the best opportunities to demonstrate independent thinking in a positive manner. Women are capable of supporting themselves and their families and are breaking old stereotypes of traditional female roles. Gender discrimination still exists, but 53% more independent women are participating in the workforce than fifty years ago, giving women a louder voice in society. This is an important time for women to embrace their collective and personal power and continue to grow and become stronger. Even if you don't realize it, you have incredible strength and independence as a woman. Although we still have a long way to go, women have more control today than ever before over their careers, bodies, finances, and lifestyles. I end here with a personal take: When kids are being raised up by a strong mother, they have an impression set in their minds forever. For young girls, their mother would be the best example and for young boys they would know that a woman is not someone who is second in the society, but an equal!

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independent girl essay

RASHMI OBEROI

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Live Bold and Bloom

Strong, Independent Women Never Do These 21 Things

Even if you don't realize it, you have incredible strength and independence as a woman.

Although we still have a long way to go, women have more control today than ever before over their careers, bodies, finances, and lifestyles.

Women are capable of supporting themselves and their families and are breaking old stereotypes of traditional female roles.

Gender discrimination still exists, but 53% more independent women are participating in the workforce than fifty years ago, giving women a louder voice in society.

What is an Independent Woman?

1. she isn't scared of making her own decisions., 2. she doesn't wait for things to find her., 3. she isn't afraid to do things alone., 4. she doesn't engage in negative self-talk., 5. she doesn't wait for permission., 6. she doesn't complain., 7. she doesn't hold things in., 8. she doesn't need constant validation., 9. she doesn't look around for the leader., 10. she isn't scared of taking risks..

  • 11. She doesn't play the victim.

12. She doesn't blame other people for her feelings.

13. she isn't scared of investing in herself., 14. she doesn't shy away from people who are different from her., 15. she doesn't criticize her body., 16. she is not afraid of saying no., 17. she doesn't disregard self-care., 18. she is not afraid to ask for a raise., 19. she doesn't let other people tell her what to study., 20. she never stops learning., 21. she doesn't let her confidence get to her head., final thoughts, but how do these changes for women apply to you personally.

Maybe you pride yourself on your self-confidence and don't need to rely on society or a partner for validation.

Perhaps you see your strength in developing healthy relationships with other people without resorting to co-dependent patterns.

You may feel empowered by joining a cause like the #MeToo Movement, increasing awareness about sexual harassment and assault.

With the power of social media, this movement reached 85 countries worldwide to bring women together with a common struggle that is faced, but often not talked about.

Today in politics and culture, more and more women are taking a stand and fighting back for the equal power that they deserve.

Do you feel like a strong, independent woman?

What does it mean to be one?

A strong, independent woman doesn't need to try to fit into a certain mold that society has created.

She is confident and believes in her abilities.

She doesn't rely on other people for her happiness and has the freedom to make her own decisions.

She knows her worth and exercises her ability to use her voice to make a change.

This is an important time for women to embrace their collective and personal power and continue to grow and become stronger.

How do you know if you are among the millions of independent women in the world today?

Let's discuss some mindsets and actions independent women don't do so you can gauge your own strength and independence.

woman standing by window strong women

21 Things An Independent Woman Never Does

She isn't concerned about putting her needs and judgment first when making decisions. She doesn't feel the need to diminish her decision-making power to appease someone else.

When she has a problem, she confidently chooses a course of action to fix it.

She doesn’t sit around, waiting for someone to make a decision for her. She is aware of what needs to be done and she does it.

If she wants money, she gets a job. If she wants a family, she makes one. If she wants a partner, she finds one.

Related: 110 Of The Most Positive, Uplifting Affirmations For Women

She doesn’t wait around for someone to rescue her or tell her what to do. She knows what to do and does it. She is proactive, not reactive.

If she wants to see a movie but doesn’t have anyone to go with her, she is comfortable enough to go alone.

She doesn't need to wait for someone to come along and hold her hand while doing the things she wants to do.

She enjoys the company of others, but she doesn't depend on them to define her actions.

She has enough respect for herself that she knows she is deserving and worthy. She doesn't wallow in self-recriminations or self-pity.

As a strong woman, she reminds herself of the positive attributes she possesses and can share with the world. During challenging times , she turns her focus to gratitude and optimism.

She recognizes her weaknesses but views them as opportunities for growth. She talks to herself like she would talk to her best friend — with compassion and kindness.

If she wants to do something, she doesn't wait for someone to tell her that she is allowed to do it. She makes well-considered choices that support her independence and inner strength.

She makes her own decisions with confidence and does not need to consult a partner or a parent to know what is in her best interest .

But she is smart enough to know when to communicate and compromise with the important people in her life about decisions that might affect them.

She knows that sitting around and complaining is a waste of time.

Instead of doing this, she is proactive and takes the necessary steps to fix the issue at hand.

She knows the problem won't fix itself. She gets it accomplished and moves on with her life.

If she believes someone's behavior is out of line, she'll call them out on it.

She has learned how to do this in a way that is firm but respectful and can stand her ground without resorting to passive-aggressive comments or hurtful words.

She isn’t scared to tell people that they are in the wrong even if she risks their displeasure. She can cut to the chase and doesn't let people get off the hook when they cross her boundaries or act inappropriately.

She definitely doesn’t take the time to beat around the bush because she has other things to do.

If she hears somebody making a sexist, racist, or disrespectful remark, she can calmly tell the person that the remark is offensive and not appreciated.

She doesn’t post on social media to count the number of likes she gets, and she doesn't fish for compliments when she is out with her friends.

She is too busy doing things that matter and has too much respect for herself to need other people to boost up her ego.

She doesn’t go around seeking attention to boost her self-esteem. She already knows she is awesome.

independent woman

She is the leader. She takes charge of situations through her leadership skills and has the passion and charisma that is needed for people to pay attention and follow her instructions.

She can lead through quiet and reserved strength or by being charismatic and gregarious — but her inner strength and leadership qualities shine through regardless.

She is smart enough to make sure that her risks are calculated, and she doesn’t rush into any compromising situations.

She knows how to weigh her options and consider the possible rewards and pitfalls before making a decision.

But once she's ready to push the button, she isn't scared to go for it.

11. She doesn't play the victim .

She knows that things happen. Everyone struggles at some point.

But, she also knows that things don't happen just to her or because she is deficient in some way.

The adversity that happens in her life doesn't define who she is or her core values .

She doesn’t create a pattern of negative thinking or have a “poor me” attitude. She never blames other people for her situation.

If she doesn't like her current circumstances, she finds a way out of them.

Related Post: 41 Phenomenal Hobbies For Women In Their 30s

She knows that she is the only person in control of her feelings.

When she is sad, she doesn't think that someone else “made her” that way. She doesn't rely on other people to be happy either.

She takes responsibility for her feelings and recognizes that she is the only person who can do anything to change them.

She isn’t hesitant to invest her time or money into improving herself .

She knows her value and understands that in order to help other people, she needs to first help herself.

She views herself as a valuable “asset” that appreciates over time and therefore needs to be taken care of.

Instead, she embraces all people, regardless of their ethnicity, background, status, beliefs, talents, and abilities.

She can generate both compassion and gratitude for the fact that each person is talented and unique in his or her own way.

Everyone has their own set of positive assets, and she doesn't view their differences as threatening beneath her.

She embraces the skills and resources that she and other people have equally and embraces everyone in a unique way. If she thinks someone is talented, she doesn't hesitate to let them know.

Many women live with a certain degree of discomfort with their physical appearance, especially their bodies.

It can be tough to accept how you look without wanting to make a change, but strong women are able to focus on a part of their body that they do love.

They are able to think about the various parts of their bodies and how well their bodies serve them. These women focus less on what their body looks like and more on what their body can do.

independent woman

A woman with strength and independence is able to recognize when her plate is full and she cannot take on anything else.

Some people are hesitant to say “no” when they are asked to do something because they don't want to let other people down.

However, a strong woman knows her limits and knows when she cannot offer her best help to someone or when she just needs time to herself.

When it comes to a healthy diet, proper exercise, and getting enough sleep, strong women prioritize these self-care activities.

Women who are independent realize that they have to take care of themselves first, focusing on the nutrition and rest that their bodies need in order to function at an optimal level.

They know when it is time to put their work aside to rejuvenate themselves, and they know how to stay in tune with their mental, physical, and emotional needs.

Related Post: 15 Dynamite Qualities Of A Dynamic Personality

Strong women know their worth. They are also in charge of their own finances.

Because of this, they can recognize when they are not getting paid enough for the work that they are doing, and they won't hesitate to negotiate with their employer until they are satisfied with their earnings.

Women tend to allow societal norms to influence the subjects that they chose to study.

Often, society encourages women to be teachers, nurses, assistants, childcare providers, or in other “helping” professions, while men are pushed into other fields like science, math, medicine, and technology.

Schools are increasingly seeking women’s involvement in STEM subjects (science, technology, engineering, and math) because men largely outnumber women in these fields, despite the fact that women have plenty of interest.

A strong woman who is interested in physics goes for it, and those who have a love for IT dive in and learn whatever they can about technology.

They don't pay attention to prescribed gender roles or let them interfere with their desire to learn more about a specific subject.

A strong woman never believes that she knows enough.

She reads, keeps up with current political events, scientific discoveries, and technological inventions.

She learns new languages, watches documentaries, and keeps taking classes. She never stops aspiring to learn about new things.

Women who truly have strength and independence don't let that confidence get to their heads.

They are calm, in control, and believe in themselves, but they don't look down on other people. They have enough self-esteem that they don't need to show off or be controlling.

As a strong, independent woman, you are self-reliant and can do things on your own, but you also know when you need input, support, and partnership.

You are strong enough to know when to step back and let someone else shine in the spotlight or take the reins without compromising yourself.

Becoming this type of woman make take time and practice. You may need to change your mindset, let go of some limiting beliefs, and take some risks.

Examine where you need to become more independent in your actions, decisions, and ideas, and make small changes to reclaim your personal power.

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How to Be an Independent Woman: Master the Art of Living on Your Terms!

Laura Adams

November 22, 2023

Personal Growth

Womens Outfront Logo

May 12, 2023

how to be an independent woman

A Step-by-Step Journey to Independence

Have you ever imagined your life painted with the vibrant colors of independence? If so, then welcome aboard!

You’re about to explore an enlightening journey about how to be an independent woman.

As we traverse through this guide, we’ll untangle the complexities of work-life balance , lighten the load of the double duty between work and home, and replace the uncertainties with a steadfast compass guiding you towards a more self-reliant life.

Independence isn’t just about standing on your own two feet financially. Being an independent woman is about creating a life that resonates with your values, aspirations, and dreams. It’s about having the resilience to face challenges and the wisdom to make your own decisions.

So, if you’re ready to embrace a new perspective, buckle up! We’re about to embark on an exhilarating journey toward becoming independent women .

Are you ready to discover the power that lies within you?

Then read on because this journey is all about you!

Let’s get started!

Here's What You Will Find

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Key Takeaways

How to be an independent woman .

Master the Four Pillars for Complete Independence : Emotional Intelligence , Financial Independence, Social Independence, and Intellectual Independence are the cornerstones of a fully independent life. Gaining proficiency in these areas isn’t just about standing alone; it’s about standing strong, making informed choices, and leading a fulfilling life.

Balance Independence and Interdependence: While self-reliance is crucial, remember that healthy, reciprocal relationships and community support are equally important. Balance is key!

Overcome Obstacles with Resilience : Societal expectations, financial constraints, fear of failure, and lack of confidence can be hurdles. View them as opportunities to grow and fortify your resilience.

Share Your Journey: Your experience in striving for independence can inspire and guide others. Don’t hesitate to share your journey; you never know who might need to hear your story.

how to be an interdependent woman graphic

Are You Ready to Embrace Your Independence?

If you’ve clicked on this post, you’re more than ready to stretch your wings and discover the exhilaration of independence. But what does it mean to embrace your independence truly?

It’s about courageously stepping into the world with confidence, making decisions that reflect your values, and creating a life where your dreams aren’t just figments of your imagination but tangible realities.

Embracing independence is more than a personal journey; it’s about igniting that spark of self-reliance, breaking the chains of societal expectations, and cherishing your uniqueness. It’s a delightful cocktail of bravery, resilience, and a sprinkle of audacity.

So, are you ready to leap?

Why Is Independence Important for Women?

Independence is crucial for women as it fosters a sense of self-worth, boosts confidence, and provides greater control over life decisions. It enables women to be the architects of their lives, promoting growth, well-being, and fulfillment.

How Can Independence Enrich Your Life?

Independence can enrich your life in countless ways. It allows you to choose your path, make decisions that align with your values, and pursue your passions without restraint. It boosts self-esteem, fosters resilience, and promotes personal development.

When you are independent, you become a role model for others, inspiring them to strive for their independence too.

Is Independence Only About Financial Autonomy?

While financial autonomy is a significant aspect of independence, it’s not the sole factor . Independence also means emotional self-reliance, the ability to form and maintain healthy relationships, and the power to make decisions that impact your life. It’s about creating a life that aligns with your beliefs, values, and dreams.

In the end, true independence means controlling your destiny, which extends beyond just finances.

The Four Core Pillars of Being an Independent Woman

Independence is often seen as the freedom to choose and live by your own rules. However, achieving true independence is a multidimensional endeavor that extends beyond mere self-reliance. To become an independent woman, one must build strength and wisdom across various facets of life.

the four pillars of being an independent woman

This comprehensive guide will explore the four core pillars of independence:

1. Emotional Intelligence

Understanding and managing your emotional landscape is fundamental to decision-making, relationships, and personal well-being.

2. Financial Independence

Financial independence isn’t just about accumulating wealth; it’s about having the autonomy to make choices that align with your personal and professional goals.

3. Social Independence

Social independence involves navigating your social circles wisely, forming meaningful relationships, and setting personal boundaries to protect your emotional and physical space.

4. Intellectual Independence

Intellectual independence is the ability to think critically, continuously learn, and form your own opinions equips you to engage deeply with the world around you.

Each of these pillars is vital in shaping a well-rounded, independent individual. They intersect and interact in ways that make the sum greater than its parts. Mastering each aspect doesn’t just elevate your independence; it enhances your overall quality of life.

Ready to empower yourself across these crucial domains? Let’s explore each pillar in-depth to give you the tools you need to become a truly independent woman.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is not just a buzzword; it’s a critical element in becoming an independent woman. This set of skills involves understanding, managing, and effectively expressing your emotions and interacting successfully with others.

women emotional intelligence

Let’s break down the three main components of emotional intelligence: self-awareness , emotional regulation, and empathy.

1. Self-Awareness

Recognizing and understanding personal moods and motivations.

The journey to independence starts within. Self-awareness means recognizing your emotional states and understanding how they influence your thoughts and actions. You can gain valuable insights into your personality and behavior by pinpointing your emotions and motivations.

Tips for Enhancing Self-Awareness:

Maintain a daily or weekly journal to record your feelings, thoughts, and actions.

Mindfulness

Practice mindfulness techniques like meditation to stay present and observe your emotional states without judgment.

Feedback Loop

Don’t hesitate to seek constructive criticism from trusted friends and family to understand better how you come across to others.

2. Emotional Regulation

Managing and controlling disruptive emotions.

Life is full of ups and downs, and being independent doesn’t mean you won’t face emotional turmoil. What sets independent women apart is their ability to manage these disruptive emotions and not let them dictate their actions.

Strategies for Emotional Regulation:

Pause and reflect.

Before reacting to emotionally charged situations, take a moment to pause. This space allows you to respond instead of react.

Breathing Techniques

Simple deep breathing exercises can help calm your nervous system and give you a clearer perspective.

Professional Help

Sometimes, it’s beneficial to consult a psychologist or counselor to develop better emotional management techniques.

Understanding and Sharing the Feelings of Others

While independence is often associated with self-reliance, it’s equally essential to understand and share the feelings of others. Empathy enhances your social skills, helping you in personal and professional relationships.

It enables you to navigate social dynamics effectively and fosters a sense of community and belonging, which is crucial for any independent individual.

How to Cultivate Empathy:

Active listening.

When conversing, listen to understand, not just to reply. Recognize the emotions behind words.

Practice imagining situations from another person’s perspective.

Express Understanding

Acknowledge the other person’s feelings without judgment and offer support or guidance if appropriate.

By nurturing these aspects of emotional intelligence, you’re setting the stage for your independence and improving your overall quality of life. Developing emotional intelligence is an ongoing process, but the rewards—stronger relationships, improved mental health, and a more empowered sense of self—are well worth the effort.

Financial Independence

Financial independence is a cornerstone of becoming an independent woman. This form of independence allows you to make choices that align with your personal and professional goals rather than being dictated by financial constraints.

women financial independence

Below are three pivotal aspects to consider when working towards financial independence : budgeting and saving, investing, and career advancement.

1. Budgeting and Saving

Tips for managing personal finances.

Budgeting and saving are the foundational blocks of financial independence. Mastering these skills will help you better understand your income, expenses, and how much you can afford to save or invest.

Practical Steps for Budgeting and Saving:

Create a budget.

Develop a monthly budget that outlines your income, fixed expenses, variable expenses, and savings.

Emergency Fund

Your emergency fund should aim to save at least 3-6 months’ worth of living expenses in a readily accessible account for emergencies.

Track Spending

Use apps or traditional methods like spreadsheets to monitor where your money is going. Make adjustments to your budget as needed.

2. Investing

Strategies to grow wealth over time.

Investing is an effective way to grow your wealth over the long term. Unlike saving, which offers a limited return through interest, investing can provide a much higher potential for financial growth.

Tips for Investing Wisely:

Start small.

You don’t need a large sum to start investing. Many online platforms allow you to invest with as little as $100.

Invest in a mix of assets like stocks, bonds, and real estate to mitigate risk.

Long-term View

Investing is usually most effective as a long-term strategy. Be patient and avoid making decisions based on short-term market fluctuations.

3. Career Advancement

Building skills to advance in the workplace or business.

Your career is a significant source of financial security, and advancing in your field can drastically affect your earning potential. Whether you’re in a job or running your own business, skills, and networking are key to moving up the ladder.

Guidelines for Career Advancement:

Continuous learning.

Take additional courses, attend workshops, or gain certifications that make you more valuable in your field.

Build and maintain professional relationships by offering mentorship, partnerships, or job opportunities.

Don’t hesitate to negotiate for better compensation and benefits, whether it’s a job offer or a promotion.

Financial independence is more than just having money; it’s the freedom to be who you want to be and make choices that enrich your life. By mastering budgeting and saving, investing wisely, and continually advancing your career, you take control of your financial destiny, empowering yourself to live on your terms.

Social Independence

Social independence is an often overlooked but crucial aspect of being an independent woman. While emotional and financial independence lays the groundwork for a self-reliant life, social independence shapes how you interact with the world around you.

social independence graphic

Here, we focus on three critical facets of social independence: setting boundaries, building healthy relationships, and networking.

1. Setting Boundaries

Learning how to say ‘no’ and protecting personal space.

Setting boundaries is an essential skill for maintaining your sense of independence. When you establish limits, you protect your emotional and physical space, allowing you to interact with others on your terms.

Strategies for Setting Boundaries:

Communicate clearly.

Be assertive in expressing what you’re comfortable with and what you’re not. Clear communication minimizes misunderstandings.

Prioritize Your Needs

Don’t be afraid to put your needs first. Saying ‘no’ is not a sign of weakness but an assertion of self-respect.

Enforce Boundaries

Once set, maintain your boundaries consistently, even if it means having uncomfortable conversations.

2. Building Healthy Relationships

Cultivating relationships that allow for mutual growth and respect.

An independent life doesn’t mean a life without relationships. Instead, it means forming balanced, mutually beneficial, and respectful bonds.

Tips for Building Healthy Relationships:

Quality over quantity.

Focus on forming a few deep, meaningful relationships rather than spreading yourself thin with many superficial connections.

Shared Values

Align yourself with people who share your values and life goals for more fulfilling interactions.

Give and Take

Ensure that the relationship is mutual, where both parties offer emotional and practical support to each other.

3. Networking

Establishing connections that help you grow personally and professionally.

Networking is not just about advancing your career; it’s also about growing as an individual. Meeting new people can offer fresh perspectives, opportunities, and even friendships that enrich your life.

Effective Networking Techniques:

Attend events.

Participate in community gatherings, professional events, or hobby-related meetups to meet like-minded individuals.

Utilize Social Media

Platforms like LinkedIn and Twitter can be powerful tools for virtual networking. Keep your profiles updated and engage in meaningful conversations online.

After meeting someone, don’t forget to send a thank-you note or a message expressing your gratitude for the interaction and how you hope to stay in touch.

Social independence is about curating your social circle in a way that contributes positively to your life, respects your boundaries, and aligns with your goals. By setting boundaries, building healthy relationships, and actively networking, you enrich your social landscape while preserving your independence.

Intellectual Independence

Intellectual independence is vital to becoming a fully realized, independent woman. It’s the ability to think for yourself, continuously grow your knowledge base, and form your own opinions. This independence equips you with the tools to navigate an ever-changing world and stand firm in your beliefs and choices.

intellectual independence  graphic

Here, we’ll explore three core elements of intellectual independence: critical thinking, continual learning, and forming opinions.

1. Critical Thinking

Learning how to think rather than what to think.

Critical thinking involves analyzing and evaluating issues and ideas rather than merely accepting information as presented. It’s a skill that empowers you to make reasoned judgments that are both logical and well-thought-out.

Ways to Enhance Critical Thinking:

Question assumptions.

Before accepting any information, question its source, context, and the assumptions it’s based on.

Analyze Perspectives

Consider multiple viewpoints before concluding. This approach offers a more well-rounded understanding of the issue at hand.

Logical Reasoning

Utilize logical processes to arrive at conclusions, steering clear of emotional reasoning that can cloud judgment.

2. Continual Learning

Staying informed and curious.

Continual learning involves an ongoing, voluntary, and self-motivated pursuit of knowledge for personal or professional growth. It keeps you adaptable, innovative, and better prepared for the complexities of life.

Habits for Continual Learning:

Read widely.

From books and academic journals to credible online resources, diversify your sources of information.

Engage in Discussions

Conversations with people with different opinions can provide new perspectives and deepen your understanding.

Take Courses

Online courses, workshops, and seminars are excellent avenues for acquiring new skills and knowledge.

3. Forming Opinions

Learning how to develop and express personal views.

Forming your own opinions is a direct application of critical thinking and continual learning. It’s a way to take a stand, guided by your values, knowledge, and reasoning abilities.

Guidelines for Forming Opinions:

Informed decision-making.

Ensure your opinions are based on credible information and thoughtful analysis rather than hearsay or emotional impulse.

Be Open to Change

An essential part of intellectual independence is the willingness to change your mind when presented with new, convincing information.

Express Yourself

Learn the art of articulating your opinions clearly and respectfully in conversations, writing, or social media.

Intellectual independence doesn’t come overnight, but it’s a pursuit that pays dividends in every aspect of life. By honing your critical thinking skills, committing to continual learning, and being mindful in forming and expressing your opinions, you arm yourself with the tools needed for a more independent, fulfilling life.

Many of us have uttered the words, “ How can I be an independent woman ,” at some point in our lives. But what does it truly mean to be independent, and how can we achieve it? Being an independent woman is not just about financial stability; it’s also about emotional resilience, self-confidence, and the ability to make decisions that align with our personal goals .

Get ready as we now will explore the multi-faceted nature of independence, offering practical tips and strategies to help you cultivate a life of autonomy and self-reliance.

How to Be an Independent Woman?

To be an independent woman, one should foster self-awareness, build emotional resilience, prioritize continuous learning, strive for financial autonomy, develop decision-making skills, set personal boundaries, and balance independence with healthy interdependence, all while overcoming societal expectations and personal fears.

Cultivating independence is like planting a seed; it requires nurturing, patience, and a deep understanding of growth. While the path may differ for each individual, here are some universal steps to help you cultivate your independence.

Steps to assert your independence infographic

Key Steps to Assert Your Independence

While understanding the four pillars of independence provides a conceptual framework, the practical application truly empowers you to live an independent life.

Taking control of your life and asserting your independence is an empowering journey. It’s a process of discovery, growth, and transformation.

We’ll explore key steps to becoming an independent woman, helping you carve out a life that aligns with your values and dreams.

From developing emotional resilience to financial autonomy, these steps offer a roadmap to becoming a confident, self-reliant, independent woman .

Here are six actionable steps you can take to cultivate your independence:

How to Become an Independent Woman

1. embrace self-awareness.

Start by understanding who you are, what you value , and what you desire in life. Self-awareness is the foundation of independence; it helps you align your decisions with your core values.

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It lets you understand your strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and emotional triggers. Taking time to self-reflect can go a long way in making conscious choices that align with your values.

How to Embrace Self-Awareness:

Keep a journal to record your thoughts, feelings, and reactions.

Use mindfulness techniques to remain present and better understand your emotional responses.

2. Develop Emotional Resilience

Emotional resilience helps you navigate life’s ups and downs while maintaining your independence. This involves learning how to handle stress, cope with failure, and bounce back from setbacks.

Emotional resilience allows you to bounce back from setbacks and challenges, equipping you to handle stress and adversity without losing your balance.

How to Develop Emotional Resilience:

Build a strong support network of friends and family.

Learn coping mechanisms like deep breathing and grounding exercises.

3. Prioritize Education and Continuous Learning

Knowledge is empowering and opens up opportunities for independence. This doesn’t just mean formal education but also self-education about finances, health, and any areas of interest or necessity for you.

As the saying goes, knowledge is power. Committing to lifelong learning enriches your understanding of the world and enhances your skills and qualifications.

How to Prioritize Education and Continuous Learning:

Engage in online courses or attend workshops.

Read widely to expand your knowledge and perspectives.

4. Financial Autonomy

Cultivate financial literacy skills and strive for financial stability. This might mean saving, investing, and learning how to budget your money effectively.

Being financially independent gives you the freedom to choose based on what truly matters to you rather than what you can afford.

How to Achieve Financial Autonomy:

Create a budget to manage your expenses.

Invest wisely to grow your wealth over time.

5. Decision-Making

Practice making decisions independently and take responsibility for those decisions. This doesn’t mean you can’t seek advice, but the final call should be yours.

The ability to make decisions confidently is a mark of an independent individual. It’s about assessing situations, considering options, and taking responsibility for your choices.

How to Enhance Decision-Making:

List out the pros and cons of each option to make well-informed choices.

Trust your instincts, but back them up with information and reasoning.

6. Set Boundaries

Setting boundaries in your personal and professional life safeguards your emotional well-being and signals to others how they should treat you.

How to Set Boundaries:

Clearly communicate what you’re comfortable with.

Be consistent in maintaining and enforcing your boundaries.

By embracing these practical steps, you pave the way for a more independent, fulfilling life. As you progress on your journey to independence, remember that each step forward, no matter how small, is a victory in itself.

It’s crucial to define personal and professional boundaries. This can protect your time, preserve your mental health, and prevent you from becoming overly reliant on others.

How Can You Balance Independence with Interdependence?

While independence is about self-reliance, it doesn’t mean you must do everything alone. In fact, it’s equally crucial to understand the value of interdependence, that is, relying on others in a balanced, healthy way. Here’s how you can balance independence with interdependence:

Seek Collaboration, Not Dependence

Build relationships where you feel comfortable asking for help and providing help in return. It’s about mutual growth and support.

Value Community

Recognize the importance of being part of a community. A network of supportive individuals can offer different perspectives, emotional support, and resources.

Maintain Your Individuality in Relationships

Maintaining your independence is key, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship. This means having your interests, goals, and time apart while contributing to the relationship’s growth.

Practice Empathy

Understand and respect the experiences and perspectives of others. This can foster healthier, more balanced relationships.

Remember, independence isn’t about isolation; it’s about being self-reliant and making the right choices while valuing the strength of community and mutual support. It’s about creating your unique path with the confidence that you can navigate whatever comes your way.

If so, let’s start by understanding some of the challenges you might face on this exciting journey.

What Are the Challenges Faced by Modern Women?

In a constantly evolving world, women persistently face numerous challenges and disadvantages . And while it might seem like you’re sailing through a storm alone, remember, every woman navigating her way towards independence faces her unique set of hurdles.

Exploring the Challenges Faced by Modern Women

Work-life balance.

Juggling professional commitments and domestic responsibilities can be an ongoing struggle, leaving little time for personal pursuits.

Gender Bias

Despite progress, gender biases still exist, affecting women’s workplace opportunities, political representation, and societal roles.

Women often face unequal pay for the same work, which can demoralize and hinder financial independence.

Body Image Pressure

The media’s unrealistic portrayal of ‘ideal’ female body types can lead to self-esteem issues and mental health problems.

Domestic Violence and Harassment

Many women worldwide face domestic violence and harassment, a serious issue that affects their safety, health, and overall well-being.

Access to Education and Healthcare

In many parts of the world, women still struggle to access quality education and healthcare, impacting their empowerment and progress.

Mental Health

Women are more likely to suffer from mental health issues such as depression and anxiety due to societal pressures and hormonal factors.

Who Are Some Women Who’ve Successfully Achieved Independence?

Every day, women worldwide are breaking barriers, pushing boundaries , and demonstrating what it means to be independent. From trailblazers like Ruth Bader Ginsburg , who relentlessly championed women’s rights, to Malala Yousafzai , who braved threats to her life to advocate for girls’ education, the list of inspirational women is long and compelling.

Entrepreneurs like Oprah Winfrey , who rose from poverty to become a media mogul, and Indra Nooyi , who led one of the world’s largest companies, PepsiCo, as its CEO, serve as shining examples of women who’ve achieved financial independence and power.

How Did They Overcome Challenges?

These women overcame challenges through a combination of resilience, determination, and courage .

Ginsburg fought against gender discrimination, Yousafzai stood up to extremists, and both Winfrey and Nooyi defied societal expectations and norms.

Their strategies varied – advocacy, education, entrepreneurial risk-taking – but their common thread was an unyielding belief in their worth and capabilities.

What Can We Learn from Their Success Stories?

Each of these women provides us with invaluable lessons:

Ginsburg teaches us the importance of tenacity and fighting for our beliefs.

Yousafzai teaches us the transformative power of education and the courage to stand up for our rights.

Winfrey and Nooyi show us that our backgrounds don’t define our futures, and financial independence is achievable, regardless of where we start.

Ladies, empower yourselves and discover the wisdom and inspiration of independent women by exploring their remarkable quotes .

How to Deal with Obstacles Along the Way?

The path to independence is often not a straight line; it’s more like a winding road filled with bumps and unexpected turns.

Yet, each obstacle you encounter is an opportunity for growth and self-improvement. It’s all about adapting and finding effective strategies to manage these hurdles.

What Are Some Common Hurdles on the Road to Independence?

There are several common obstacles that you might encounter on your journey to independence:

Societal Expectations

Society often holds preset expectations for women, which can limit your pursuit of independence. For example, traditional gender roles can exert pressure to conform to certain behaviors or life paths.

Financial Constraints

Economic obstacles can be a significant hurdle, particularly for those striving for financial independence.

Fear of Failure

The fear of making mistakes or failing can hold you back from making decisions independently and taking risks.

Lack of Confidence

If you struggle with self-esteem, it may affect your ability to assert your independence.

How Can You Overcome These Obstacles?

Challenge societal expectations.

Be true to yourself, even if it means going against societal norms. Remember, your path to independence is personal and unique to you.

Improve Financial Literacy

Enhance your understanding of money management, investing, and income generation. It can help you overcome financial hurdles and gain economic independence.

Embrace Failure as a Learning Experience

Every failure or mistake is a chance to learn and grow. Try to view these not as setbacks but as stepping stones on your journey to independence.

Boost Your Confidence

Confidence-building comes with time and practice. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small, and don’t shy away from self-praise.

How Does Work-Life Balance Impact Women?

The concept of work-life balance continues to challenge many women worldwide. It’s like an intricate dance between professional responsibilities and personal needs , often coupled with societal roles and expectations. The ‘double burden’ syndrome, where women juggle work and domestic responsibilities, can be particularly draining.

According to a study from the International Labor Organization , women perform 76.2% of total hours of unpaid care work, more than three times as much as men. This imbalance can result in emotional burnout, impacting the quality of life and hindering the path toward independence.

Navigating this obstacle is crucial for embracing your independence.

How Does Intersectionality Influence Women’s Experiences?

Intersectionality is a crucial component when examining women’s experiences. Women are not a monolithic group; many factors, such as race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, disability, and more, shape their experiences. These overlapping identities can compound challenges faced by women, intensifying the struggle for independence.

A study from the Center for American Progress reported that women of color, LGBTQ+ women, and women with disabilities face higher levels of employment discrimination, which can obstruct their path to independence.

Understanding and addressing these intersectional challenges are key steps in fostering an inclusive environment where all women can thrive in their pursuit of independence.

Remember, though the challenges might seem daunting, they’re not insurmountable. Every step you take towards overcoming them is a step towards the empowered, independent life you deserve.

What Makes a Woman Independent?

An independent woman possesses a combination of self-reliance, emotional intelligence, and financial stability. She can make her own decisions, manage her emotional well-being, and sustain herself financially. Her independence is often reflected in her ability to set personal and professional goals and work towards achieving them without heavily relying on external validation or support. While she may cherish relationships and collaborations, her sense of self does not hinge on the approval or presence of others. Her independence is a balanced amalgamation of emotional resilience, intellectual autonomy, and financial self-sufficiency.

How Do You Act Like an Independent Woman?

To act like an independent woman, you demonstrate self-reliance, emotional maturity, and financial responsibility. You make your own decisions and stand by them, taking accountability for your actions and their consequences. While valuing relationships and being open to advice, you don’t depend on others for your self-worth or happiness. Financially, you aim to be self-sufficient, actively participating in financial planning, saving, and investing. Your approach to challenges is proactive rather than reactive, and you’re unafraid to step out of your comfort zone to achieve your goals. Acting like an independent woman means balancing personal autonomy and interdependent relationships.

What Makes a Woman Tough?

A tough woman is characterized by her resilience, emotional strength, and ability to persevere through challenges. She confronts adversity head-on, demonstrating both mental and, at times, physical fortitude. Toughness in a woman is not merely the absence of vulnerability; it includes the capacity to be vulnerable and bounce back from setbacks. Her toughness is evident in her determination to achieve her goals, her unwillingness to be discouraged by failure, and her ability to stand up for herself and others when circumstances demand it. Whether facing personal trials or professional hurdles, a tough woman navigates them with a blend of grace, grit, and tenacity.

What an Independent Woman Should Have?

An independent woman should have a mix of qualities and resources that collectively contribute to her autonomy and self-sufficiency.

Here are some key aspects:

1. Financial Stability – A stable income, savings, and a financial growth plan. 2. Emotional Intelligence – The ability to understand and manage emotions. 3. Confidence – A strong belief in one’s abilities and judgment. 4. Skill Set – Professional and life skills for navigating various aspects of life. 5 . Support Network – A reliable circle of friends and family for emotional support. 6. Education and Information – Continued learning and staying informed. 7. Personal Goals – Short-term and long-term objectives for direction and purpose. 8. Health Awareness – Physical and mental well-being practices. 9 . Resourcefulness – Adapting and finding solutions in challenging situations. 10. Legal Awareness – Understanding of legal rights and responsibilities. 11. Personal Space and Time – Freedom for self-reflection , personal interests, and alone time.

Are You Ready to Share Your Journey to Independence?

And that wraps up our exploration of how to be an independent woman . We hope this journey has provided you with insightful steps and ignited a spark of inspiration to embrace your unique path toward independence. Remember, your independence celebrates your strength, resilience, and freedom.

Empower Yourself and Others on the Journey to Independence

We have a wealth of related articles filled with more advice, stories, and tips designed to support you as you continue to grow and navigate your way forward. If you found this article helpful, we encourage you to share it with other amazing women in your life who might be walking the same path toward independence.

Let’s uplift each other as we continue to grow and navigate this beautiful life journey.

We’re here to support you every step of the way. If you have any questions or need further assistance, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Remember, your journey to independence is not one you must walk alone. We’re with you, cheering you on, and ready to help whenever you need us.

Stay inspired, stay strong, and keep striving for that beautiful independence that awaits you.

Together, let’s redefine what it means to be an independent woman in our world today.

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Table of Contents

When Women Inspire

How to be an independent woman

How to be an independent woman like her, back facing camera, blur

Becoming a more independent woman doesn’t mean you’re selfish. It also doesn’t mean that you don’t want to include men in your life; in fact, a strong and self-assured woman can thrive in a committed relationship . Instead, it’s a way for you to build your self-confidence and thrive in a very challenging and sometimes cruel world. Also, how to be an independent woman isn’t just about what you have. Instead, independence is a feeling of contentment and self-assurance that no one else or outside influences can stir or disrupt.

That’s an empowering feeling for a female. And you’ll likely find the experience and journey toward becoming more independent to be quite rewarding too. The following tips are going to help you become an independent woman so you can ultimately transform into your best self and feel more satisfied in your skin. The first one may not be your cup of tea and that’s all good too – do what feels right for you.

Start your own business

How to be an independent woman? One way is to set the goal of starting a business and being your own boss. That way, you can be the one to call the shots and make the decisions; have ultimate control over your career and destiny.

Remember, you can do anything you set your mind to. Maybe it’s starting your own clothing store. Or, becoming a Chameleon Glass Reseller. To learn more about how you can start on that last idea, check out the latest in Wholesale Glass Pipes . Ventures like that offer you the opportunity to set up your own storefront so you can provide an in-demand service. Plus, it allows you to become financially independent.

Other flexible models include affiliate marketing – where you can promote products you love and make healthy commissions when they sell. You could become an eBay affiliate  or join one of them any popular affiliate networks like  Commission Junction .

Learn to embrace alone time

Alone time is also vital when it comes to how to be an independent woman. While it’s nice to be around people, it’s also a good idea to get more comfortable being with your own thoughts.

Use this quiet time to get to know yourself better, determine your strengths and weaknesses, and know the ins and outs of your personality. At some point, you have to be okay with going out on your own to buy groceries, for example, as well as making important decisions. Relying on someone else to perform these kinds of tasks for you will likely make you unhappy in the long run. You’ll feel discomfort when alone too.

How to be an independent woman: Find your voice

Finding your voice means being able to speak what’s on your mind, without feeling shame or guilt about your opinions. This goes for when you’re in the workplace and at home with your family. It’s also about having the ability to be more assertive in your delivery and not allowing others to make you feel unimportant or less of a person.

To help you get there, practice in the mirror if you have to! Or, read books that help you improve if you’re struggling.

Essentially, how to be an independent woman with her own voice involves the following two things. Firstly, take time to reflect and understand your wants and needs. Secondly, be ready to share them with others when appropriate. Accept that sometimes another person may not see eye-to-eye with you. And that it’s okay for you to disagree with someone else. You are beautifully unique . Stand confident in your opinions!

Challenge negative self-talk

Lastly, become a more independent female by monitoring your vocabulary and inner-voice better than ever. You have to recognize and be willing to challenge negative self-talk and replace it with more positive words and phrases if you want to become more self-sufficient.

Words such as “can’t,” “won’t,” and “shouldn’t” are limiting; these words hold you back from achieving your full potential and being successful. You, therefore, have to get comfortable with being your own cheerleader. Encourage yourself to believe in your abilities and keep going when it seems no one else has your back.

One helpful exercise is to get in the habit of saying thank you when someone offers you a compliment. That’s instead of deflecting it with a self-deprecating statement or feeling embarrassment.

Independent gals hanging out

Have healthy relationships

Having self-confidence and loving yourself means you’re not willing to put up with people who treat you poorly or disrespect you. You can start on how to be an independent woman by being picky about who you spend time with and only being in healthy relationships . This especially holds true for anyone of romantic interest. Choose stand up and respectable men who treat you right and help to both lift and encourage you.

Furthermore, don’t be afraid to walk away from and cut people out of your life who aren’t able to meet your standards. If they aren’t adding any value to your life, it might be time to distance yourself. That’s because unhealthy relationships are difficult on your well-being. Therefore, you probably won’t be able to find peace and happiness with yourself if you let others walk all over you.

Focus on financial freedom

It’s also important to focus on financial freedom if you want to be an independent woman. This way you won’t have to depend on anyone else to pay your bills and can purchase your own home and car, for example.

In addition to wanting to have your own money available to you to use as you please, also understand what money you have and where it’s going. Even if you’re in a relationship, make sure you have a good idea of what funds you have, your expenses, and what spending of your money looks like. That’s yet another reason it’s in your best interest to have a way to make your own money, should you ever be by yourself.

Conclusions on how to be an independent woman

Above are only a few ways of many to guide you toward being a more independent woman. My hope is that you find true freedom in your life.

Put these ideas into practice, and it won’t be long before you’re soaring to new heights and reaching your goals . Keep in mind that it may not be an easy journey or task; there will likely be setbacks along the way.

However, continue to work at it, and you’ll discover that you enjoy your new way of life and being. That’s the moment when you know that all of your hard work and extra efforts were worth it.

36 thoughts on “How to be an independent woman”

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Wow, thank you for sharing Christy B.

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you have made some great points here for all those women out there who are afraid of the society i must say women should see this post and put step forward and should dont care about the society!

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Let’s rise up to any challenges coming our way!!

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This is absolutely wonderful, Christy! <3 I especially love beginning your own business so YOU get to determine the course of your road, learning to love alone time and challenging negative self-talk. (That last one is a BIG one for a ton of women, including myself).

We have an epidemic of self-hate, I fear. It has bred a culture of hating others. When in reality, it’s not true hate/jealousy. It is simply a toxic culture that has pitted one against another, creating a lie that you don’t stack up against the rest. (sigh) That’s a hot button issue for me so I’ll leave it alone!

Indeed, your points are absolutely perfect. And my goodness, what agreement I’m in with you about finding the right man to be in relationship with if one chooses that path. I was abused and manipulated for over 20 years and I wouldn’t wish that on a single soul. Self-love – we need to learn and accept it. No more feeling less than. :(

I pray this culture (and the world at large) begins to understand that everyone was born with a purpose, has inherent value and gifts/talents that only they can bring to this earth. We need everyone and no one is more important than another. We are all puzzle pieces to a beautiful masterpiece to be celebrated. Time to live like it! ♥ Love ya Christy – keep up the amazing work you do! You’re a blessing.

Oh Holly, your words are the encouragement I need at the start of the week to continue to push forward and hold my cheerleading pom-poms high :) You have a wonderful way of including hope and also being realistic in your visions for women now and in the future. I am frustrated with the images of “perfection” that social media seems fascinated with and know it eats away at self-esteem of both women and men. I love what you say about us as puzzle pieces. I’m sorry you went through manipulation. I was with a master manipulator and likely we share a lot more than we care to. Sending you a gentle hug for your kind spirit xo

Your words truly touch my heart deeply, Christy. Thank you so much!

I am in full agreement with absolutely everything you’ve written. So sorry to hear that you too were with someone who treated you poorly and brought such negativity into your life. That’s never okay! Hurt people hurt people and unless they take accountability for growing and healing – that’s what they’ll continue to do sadly. :(

I bet we would have a ton of life learning stories to swap. I enjoy your spirit and am thankful you are here to encourage and uplift. You’re gifted at it :) Have a beautiful day friend. Many hugs and much love to you for your kind and warm spirit as well ♥♥

Wow, this is easily one of the best comments I’ve received, Holly. I agree that if someone doesn’t learn from their actions then they won’t be able to change their ways, and that involves a lot of self work that not everyone’s willing to do. But think of the amount of hurt that could be saved by doing so! The idea’s not to be perfect but instead to be better. And I love to encourage other people with their goals! That’s MY goal :)

Your words are beautiful and I am sure I will come back to read them again. Keep smiling, dear Holly, and know you are appreciated!

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Great post. Being self depend enhances our persona as well as boost our confidence.

Thanks for cheering on the independant woman, Richa! :)

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Love this, Christy! And…if I had to judge whether you have coached people in this area based on this article, I would say YES! Hehe. You’re a wonderful writer, & natural leader. You’re the paragon of independent woman! I agree with all these: working toward financial freedom, starting a business, finding your voice, being loving toward yourself and happy with your own company – ALL THESE! YES! I hope you have a great weekend. Sending you big hugs.

Wow this comment means more to me Cyndi than you may realize, thank you xxoo

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Useful article. I think being alone and enjoying your own company is essential to most people’s happiness, and relying on someone else for fulfilment is unhealthy for everyone involved!

I agree! It sounds like you totally understand that being alone doesn’t automatically mean being lonely ;)

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Great tips and advice we can all use, Christy! I think most of this would apply to men as well.

Absolutely, Amy. I focus on women to keep with the blog’s theme ;)

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Very good article. Love the fantastic tips, and the encouraged argumentation for independent women in partnership. Thank you, Christy. Best wishes for the weekend! Michael

Yes, just because we’re in a relationship doesn’t mean we’re not able to maintain our unique identity. That’s actually vital to a healthy relationship. Thanks for the support of not only this blog but independent women in general, Michael. Happy weekend to you too!

So true, Christy! Hope you have a beautiful weekend. Michael

It was nice, thank you! Happy week ahead to you :)

You too, Christy! Thank you very much, so kind! Michael

We can never have too much kindness :D

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Great article and agree with all the points mentioned and all of them are equally important.!

Hope you’re doing great :D

Yes Christy doing fine just a bit tied down with planning my move and will be back in action soon .Thanks for asking ! Hope all is fine at your end as well.

Aw, wishing you a smooth move, dear friend :)

Thank you so much Christy, appreciate it!

' src=

Wow! Great info. Indeed an eye opener for all Women

Thanks for being here!

' src=

Thanks, this is a strong piece with great information – not just glibly repeated memes which I see so often in ‘be independent’ type writing Thank you

Appreciate your high compliment, Don!

' src=

I absolutely agree with all the items, more strongly with the use of the quite time to get to know oneself better. Another wonderful article. Have a wonderful rest of the week.

Hope you’re doing great and thanks for the encouragement!

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How to Be an Independent Woman

Last Updated: March 18, 2024 Fact Checked

This article was co-authored by Rahti Gorfien, PCC . Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018. There are 22 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources. This article has been viewed 225,303 times.

Feeling capable of handling your own life can be very empowering. As a woman, you might feel like you have to work a little bit harder to be truly independent. Real independence means being able to take care of yourself, both emotionally and physically. There are several steps you can take to become an independent woman. And remember – being independent doesn't mean you can't lean on others when you need to. It just means that it's your choice.

Becoming Emotionally Independent

Step 1 Get to know yourself.

  • Pay attention to your moods. Your emotions are important factors in how you make decisions, so monitor them. Be aware of what makes you happy and what is unsatisfying. [1] X Research source
  • Know how your environment affects you. Notice how you react in different settings or situations. [2] X Research source

Dawn Smith-Camacho

  • Make a list of the risks and rewards involved. [5] X Trustworthy Source PubMed Central Journal archive from the U.S. National Institutes of Health Go to source When examining the list of all potential rewards against the risks, decide if the odds are in your favor or against you.
  • Don't be afraid to ask for advice. You're still the one making the decision, even if you listen to input from someone you trust.
  • Consider how you would feel if your decision were broadcast on the nightly news. Is this a decision you would be proud of? [6] X Research source
  • Does the decision compromise your values, character, or integrity? You may have to make an unpopular decision, but do what you feel is right an in line with these things. [7] X Research source

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

  • This will be different for everyone, so find something small that you can do to calm yourself if you need to. If you're at work, try stepping back and taking a minute for yourself. Go to the restroom and splash some cool water on your face. Or log out of your e-mail for a minute and text a friend.
  • Pets are great for helping you soothe yourself. If you have a cat, pet him. This will help you deal with your stress.

Step 4 Be comfortable by yourself.

  • Go to a movie by yourself. You won't have to worry about anyone talking during the previews or hogging the popcorn.
  • Dine alone. Going to a restaurant by yourself can be intimidating. But you might find that it is very enjoyable. You get to choose the time and place, without having to worry about another person's appetite. If you fear you might be bored, take a book or magazine with you.

Step 5 Create positive relationships.

  • Try being more assertive in your relationships. Speak up if you feel that you are not being valued.
  • Try to make more time for yourself and do some of the things you love, even when your partner has no interest in those things. This will allow you to balance being independent in your relationship with the time spent together.

Taking Charge of Your Finances

Step 1 Track your spending...

  • Keep track of minor expenses as well as major ones. Chart how much you spend on rent, credit card payments, food, and transportation. You'll also want to note how much you spend on entertainment and socializing.
  • Try using an app or an online banking system to make tracking your finances easy and accurate.

Step 2 Find motivation.

  • Build some flexibility into your budget. This way you won't find yourself completely derailed if gas prices go up or your cat needs to make a trip to the vet.

Step 4 Learn about investing.

  • Make a plan. Schedule a meeting with your boss to discuss your career goals and compensation. Be very clear about what you are asking for.
  • Be open to negotiations. [17] X Research source
  • Remain calm and confident during the meeting.

[18] X Research source

Gaining Confidence in Yourself

Step 1 Be yourself.

  • Don't fall victim to bad fashion trends. Looking your best will help you feel your best. Dress in a style that is flattering and makes you feel comfortable and confident.
  • Avoid the pressure to conform to your gender. Many women feel certain pressures to look and act in certain ways simply because they are female, but you don't have to if you don't do or be anything considered "feminine" if you don't want to. You do not have to wear make-up or dress a certain way. Likewise, you do not have to like stereotypical female activities such as shopping or romantic movies. [21] X Research source

Step 2 Face your fears.

  • Try exposure therapy. Exposing yourself to your fears in small doses has proven very effective. For example, if you suffer anxiety when meeting new people, ask a friend to go with you to a new social event. Gradually work up the nerve to attend by yourself.
  • Seek professional help. If your anxieties are keeping you from becoming independent or achieving another goal, try seeing a mental health professional. Counseling can help reduce anxiety.

Step 3 Accept help.

  • Be specific when asking for help. Be honest about what you need, and allow someone give you assistance.

Step 4 Think positively.

Expert Q&A

Reader videos.

Share a quick video tip and help bring articles to life with your friendly advice. Your insights could make a real difference and help millions of people!

  • Expand your social circle - different people will appeal to different parts of you. Thanks Helpful 13 Not Helpful 0
  • Ask for help when you need it - from a friend, family, or a therapist. Thanks Helpful 11 Not Helpful 0
  • Do new things - learn a sport, take up cooking. Thanks Helpful 12 Not Helpful 1

independent girl essay

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  • ↑ https://www.annualreviews.org/doi/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115043
  • ↑ https://www.takingcharge.csh.umn.edu/what-impact-does-environment-have-us
  • ↑ Dawn Smith-Camacho. Career & Life Coach. Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.
  • ↑ https://www.independentliving.org/toolsforpower/tools11.html
  • ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2726909/
  • ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikemyatt/2012/03/28/6-tips-for-making-better-decisions/
  • ↑ https://nacada.ksu.edu/Resources/Clearinghouse/View-Articles/Values-and-culture-in-ethical-decision-making.aspx
  • ↑ Rahti Gorfien, PCC. Life Coach. Expert Interview. 17 December 2019.
  • ↑ https://psychcentral.com/health/ways-to-become-more-independent-less-codependent
  • ↑ https://www.consumerfinance.gov/about-us/blog/track-your-spending-with-this-easy-tool/
  • ↑ https://www.edutopia.org/article/guiding-students-be-independent-learners/
  • ↑ https://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-contents/finances/managing-finances/annual-budget/main
  • ↑ https://www.sec.gov/investor/pubs/tenthingstoconsider.htm
  • ↑ https://www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/birthsdeathsandmarriages/families/articles/thecostoflivingalone/2019-04-04
  • ↑ https://www.itsmymove.org/docs/resources/ICDI_A-micropedia-Living-on-Your-Own.pdf
  • ↑ https://www.jobstreet.com.ph/career-resources/plan-your-career/ccp-info-jobstreets-guide-for-a-pay-rise/
  • ↑ https://www.washington.edu/doit/sites/default/files/atoms/files/Chapter-7-Understand-your-abilities-and-disabilities.pdf
  • ↑ http://www.newsweek.com/beauty-advantage-what-if-men-had-follow-female-beauty-rules-74321
  • ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6028777/
  • ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201106/how-ask-help
  • ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1049732320971603
  • ↑ https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-self-confidence-formula-for-women

About This Article

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

To be an independent woman, try to be more assertive in your relationships by speaking up if you’re not happy or don’t feel valued, which will show the other person that your feelings and needs are important. You should also spend time by yourself doing things that you enjoy, like going to the cinema or your favorite restaurant, even if your partner doesn’t enjoy them. Otherwise, if you spend most of your time with your partner, you’ll become codependent and lose confidence in your ability to rely on yourself. If you usually find yourself agreeing with others just to please them, try identifying what makes you happy or dissatisfied so you can gradually get to know yourself. This will help you become independent by encouraging you to speak your truth even if others don’t agree. For more advice from our Counseling co-author, including how to be financially independent by budgeting, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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'I am an independent girl' - Rice why essay & why social science school

cm22 2 / 6   Dec 27, 2008   #1 I am not a native English, and the dealine is impending, i really need your help!!! What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific and limit your response to 200 words/2000 characters I am an independent girl with the pursuit of education of liberal arts and opportunities of exploring leadership. When my teacher mentioned her experience of studying in Rice, I realized that Rice can provide me with opportunities to explore my academic and leadership abilities. Since I have experienced small class setting in Harvard Summit for Young Leaders in China , I strongly desire to pursue similar liberal art education with ample rescourse in university. Rice has incredible student to faculty ratio of a mere 5:1, lots of personal contact with professors, insightful class discussions with amazing classmates who I want to build lifelong friendship, strong academics class with excellent support system where I would be known by a name and not a number and unique residential college experience. Therefore, Rice is my best choice because of its liberal arts programs! Harvard Business Review that said: "The journey to authentic leaderships begins with understanding the story of your life."I have explored my potential abilities to be this kind of leader by establishing and running these two volunteer organizations. However, the life in Rice can provide me with the great opportunity to develop my further leader skills, such as the Summer Mentorship Experience(SME).From SME, I will deepen my recognition of leadership because of specific courses and interact with recognized leaders. My persistence and diligence have help me overcome many difficulties in my life. I am fighting for my future, for my life! When I hear that" Fight for Rice, Rice fight on, loyal sons arise...Fight, fight, fight!", I am sure that Rice's spirit will encourage me to fight on. With the understanding that the choice of academic school you indicated is not binding, explain why you are applying to that particular school of study. I am the applicant who has the genuine interest in the fundamental social sciences: Policy Studies and Economics. Therefor the Social Science School of Rice University fits my study goal perfectly. From my experience of the Hukou system( the China's household registration system divides the population into two groups, City-Hukou and Country-Hukou. Only students with City-Hukou can attend the best public schools in a city. Students with Country-Hukou must attend substandard private schools.), I realized that whether one can get an education in China depends on a "birth lottery". Since education promotes social mobility, the Hukou system cause a wider gap between the rich and poor. Consequently, I have pondered whether the Hukou system of providing education could be better understood by studying Policy Studies and Economics, since they provide frameworks for analyzing how society distributes its scarce resources. I took GCE A-Level Economics in high school because I wanted to better understand how to design and improve state policies that would give the poor more access to scarce resources. Also, I wanted to better understand the reasons for the great inequalities I see in China despite our rapid economic growth, and why in general some countries are so rich and others so poor. Both inside and outside of the Economics class, I learnd that there are multiple causes of underdevelopment in addition to education inadequacies. From Jeffrey Sachs' "The End of Poverty" to Paul Collier's book "The Bottom Billion", I realized that there are multiple causes of underdevelopment in addition to education inadequacies, such as bad transportation infrastructure and corrupt governance. I now realize that an education program like STUDY-BUSH helps address only one of the root causes of poverty. I am sure that my study of Economics and Policy Studies will provide me a broader stage to make my dream come true, the dream of cooperating with others to help the poor by making the market economy policies more practical for them. Your Social Science School will certainly provide me with the top quality undergraduate education that I need to achieve my study goals and realize my life's dream! Thank you so much!!!!

independent girl essay

OP cm22 2 / 6   Dec 28, 2008   #3 Thank you so much, Kevin!! This is the new one, maybe is my final draft, hope you can give me some comment on it!^^ When my teacher described her experience of studying at Rice, I realized that Rice could provide the ideal environment to explore my academic interests and the science of leadership. A fostering environment and a personal experience in college will provide the best possible learning environment for me. Rice has incredible student to faculty ratio of a mere 5:1 and personal contact with professors. I also look forward to insightful class discussions with amazing classmates with whom I want to build lifelong friendships. Strong academics class with excellent support systems will empower me as a unique residential college experience. Therefore, Rice is my best choice because of its liberal arts programs! Life at Rice will also allow me to further develop the leadership skills that I developed in high school, where I established and ran two volunteer organizations. The Summer Mentorship Experience(SME) appeals to me because it enable me to take additional courses and more importantly interact with recognized leaders. I realized the importance of tailored classes and real life experience when I participated in the Harvard Summit for Young Leaders in China(HSYLC). Through the interact with distinguished leaders in HSYLC, I understood what Harvard Business Review that said: "The journey to authentic leaderships begins with understanding the story of your life." SME in Rice will shape me to be an effective leader in this way. When I hear that" Fight for Rice, Rice fight on...", I am sure that Rice's spirit will encourage me to fight on for my future because of Rice's liberal art programs, leadership project and excellent Rice people.

EF_Constance - / 143   Dec 29, 2008   #4 I am an applicant with a genuine interest in the fundamental social sciences: Policy Studies and Economics ; therefore, the Social Science School of Rice University fits my study goal perfectly. Both inside and outside of the Economics class, I learned that there are multiple causes of underdevelopment in addition to education inadequacies. I would explain other reasons why Rice University is perfect for you. I thought that parenthetical information was quite too long. If you can shorten that, watch your commas, and check your spelling, this can be a great essay.

independent girl essay

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Adolescence

How independent should teenagers be, research demonstrates that agency is an important contributor to happiness..

Posted November 9, 2018

Elija O'Donnell/Unsplash

When one of our teens, who shall remain nameless, was 15, my husband Mark and I got a surprising email from another parent we’ll call Maureen. Our teen had decided to go to a concert with Maureen’s daughter, Maddie, and she was writing to let us know that she would be driving.

The problem was that our daughter hadn’t bothered to tell us about her plans with Maddie—because the concert conflicted with an important dinner with our huge extended family.

It wasn’t that our daughter didn’t want to go to the family dinner. She did. She loves her cousins and genuinely looks forward to seeing them. It was that she desperately wanted to go to the concert, too. How could she choose?

“You don’t GET to choose!” was my knee-jerk reaction. Still, she pushed it. “Absolutely not!” I cried. “Family comes before friends! Family is the most important thing!”

Our teenager dug in. The conversation was over on our end, but she didn’t let it go; we heard through Maureen that she’d told Maddie that she was still coming, no matter what we said. We told Maureen that there was no chance (in hell) that she’d be going to that concert, but “thank you so much” anyway.

When our daughter heard that we’d overruled her again through Maureen, she was livid. “It’s MY LIFE,” she seethed. “You can make me go to dinner, but you can’t make me have fun.” And with that, she quietly left the room. Mark and I looked at each other, wide-eyed. She had a point.

Why teens need control

Our teenager had just fired us as her management team, this time for good. She had had it with our bossy and controlling ways.

Years ago, Mike Riera, an educator I respect and the author of Uncommon Sense for Parents of Teenagers , had warned me that this would happen. But, honestly, I just couldn’t imagine it at the time. I thought that I’d always get to manage my children’s lives, at least while they were living under my roof. I’m good at managing my family. I should be promoted when my kids get older, I used to think, not fired .

But once kids reach adolescence , they need to start managing their own lives, and they do tend to fire us as their managers. Parents who are too controlling—those who don’t step down from their manager roles—breed rebellion. Many kids with micromanaging parents will politely agree to the harsh limits their parents set with a “yes, sir” or “yes, ma’am” attitude, but then will break those rules the first chance they get. They do this not because they are bad kids, but because they need to regain a sense of control over their own lives.

This cannot be overstated: Healthy, self-disciplined, motivated teenagers have a strong sense of control over their lives. A mountain of research demonstrates that agency is one of the most important contributors to both success and happiness . Believing that we can influence our own lives (through our own efforts) predicts practically all of the positive outcomes that we want for our children: better health and longevity, lower use of drugs and alcohol , lower stress , higher emotional well-being, greater intrinsic motivation and self-discipline, improved academic performance, and even greater career success.

Even teens who don’t have a rebellious streak and who won’t lie or hide their behavior suffer when parents micromanage them. Those kids tend to expend emotional energy resisting advice from their parents that is clearly in their best interest, simply to regain a sense of control.

Giving freedom within limits

The answer, according to neuropsychologist William Stixrud and teen coach Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child , is to hand the decision-making reins over to our teens. You read that right: By adolescence, we parents need to (take a deep breath and) let them make their own decisions about their lives.

independent girl essay

Letting our teens become the decision-makers doesn’t mean that we become permissive, indulgent, or disengaged parents. Fifty years of research has consistently shown that “authoritative” parenting is good for teens’ health and well-being. Authoritative parents set and consistently enforce clear limits, and they are warm and engaged in their kids’ lives. Authoritative parenting helps kids develop self-control —making them less likely to have problems with drugs, alcohol, or teen pregnancy . Teenagers with authoritative parents do better in school, have greater self-confidence , and have more friends.

So how in the world are we supposed to be authoritative parents once we’ve been fired as our kids’ managers, and once we are letting them make their own decisions? There are two equal parts to parenting-without-managing:

Part One: We establish age-appropriate family rules—like time limits on technology use and expectations about drug and alcohol use—in a supportive, involved way. We don’t dictate the rules; we discuss them. This way, our teens have a safe space to operate in without becoming overwhelmed by everything they need to do and learn.

Part Two: We hand over all further decision-making to our kids. They are free to operate autonomously within the limits that we’ve set. (Yes, it can be a challenge to decide what deserves a rule, and what can be left up to a teen—and exactly when we start handing over decision-making. I will offer more guidance in a future article.)

Decision-making is an incredibly important skill that teens must develop before they can be truly independent. When we require that they make their own decisions—instead of just making them for them, as Mark and I did when we insisted our daughter come to family dinner—we give them really valuable practice. They learn to look within themselves to understand their often-conflicting motivations and feelings. They learn to consider their own values, and the values of their family. They gain experience making decisions and then feeling accountable for the consequences of their decisions.

There’s really good news here: Teens who are given both limits and the freedom to make their own decisions tend to be self-driven and self-disciplined . This means that they’ll tell themselves “no” before we have to—and I probably don’t need to point out that that makes parenting a heck of a lot more fun.

Letting teens make mistakes

But what if teens don’t know what they don’t know? And what if they don’t want what we want for them, or if they really don’t know what is best for them? What if we know they will make the wrong decision?

Taking decision-making power away from them won’t help them become good decision-makers, nor is it a particularly good way to influence them. This is in part because, to paraphrase Stixrud and Johnson:

  • We can’t make our teens want something they don’t want.
  • We can’t make them not want something they do want.

And so it’s true: Sometimes our kids will make really bad decisions. Decision-making can be challenging, and it’s unrealistic to think they’ll do it perfectly. Adolescence is a period of time when kids have their learner’s permit for life, when (in ideal circumstances) they still have built-in support when they make mistakes. Which, again, they will. Often, human beings need to really struggle in order to learn and grow. And this means they’ll need to make their own mistakes, sometimes big ones.

If it will help them make an informed decision, we can neutrally offer our opinion. This is hard for me. We have to practice nonchalance. And then we (take a deep breath and) say: “It’s your call.”

Of course, we don’t need to enthusiastically (or financially) support all of our kids’ decisions. We can still mention when we feel uneasy with a decision they’re making, so long as we are sharing our feelings and not our judgments. This might mean that we say something like, “It makes me feel sad to see you so tired and anxious . I’m worried that the cost of taking such a heavy course load might be too high. But it’s your call. ”

When we allow kids to make their own decisions, they don’t waste their limited energy resisting us just so that they can feel a modicum of control over their own lives. Suddenly, they stop seeming so irrational and teenagery—opposing things that are in their own best interest—and they start acting like the mature young adults they are becoming.

This is ultimately what happened with the family dinner/concert conflict: I apologized for my knee-jerk reaction and told my daughter that while we really hoped she would be at our family dinner, it was her call. If she decided not to come to the dinner, we asked her to communicate her decision to the rest of the family herself. If she was going to make her own decisions, she could also practice taking accountability for them.

Once the choice was truly hers, our daughter decided not to go to the concert. And she actually seemed happy about her decision. She came to the family dinner, and she had fun.

Christine L. Carter Ph.D.

Christine Carter, Ph.D., is an author, speaker and coach. She is also a sociologist and senior fellow at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Her books include The New Adolescence , The Sweet Spot and Raising Happiness .

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independent girl essay

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Why it is so important to be an independent woman, why being an independent woman is the most powerful thing you can be..

Why It Is So Important To Be An Independent Woman

In today’s time, being a strong and ‘independent woman’ has become such a cliché that people seem to just roll their eyes at. What most women do not realize is how important it really is to be just that. There is nothing more satisfying then knowing you can do any and everything by yourself, without the help or company of anyone. When you grow up a woman paying your own bills, changing your own oil in your car, fixing your own broken appliances, buying your own food, paying for your own movie ticket, you become nothing shy of appreciative when someone does come along that truly desires your soul and wants to take care of you; not because you need to be taken care of, but because they want to. In order to be truly happy in this world you have to be able to appreciate who you are as a woman, not who someone else says you are or wants you to be.

You have to be able to recognize, shape and build off of your own strengths and weaknesses. You have to come to the realization when you lie down at night that the only person, who you will never let you down, is you. The only person in control of your happiness is you. The only person, who holds the reigns to your life, is you. Other people in your life, a boyfriend, family, friends, girlfriends, etc. will enhance who you are, make you smile, be a companion in your life, but they will never help you discover who you are as a woman. You have to know whom you are and what you have to offer, confidently, before you can truly contribute to any relationship.

I have realized that I have never felt stronger than I do when I spend nights alone enjoying my own company and laughing at myself, going out to eat by myself, going to the movies by myself, going shopping by myself, going to football games by myself, etc. When I first started doing this, I felt awkward, I felt sorry for myself, and wondered what was wrong with me. Then, I came to realize who in this world is better to spend my time with, then me? Once, I started understanding that I can go and do things without someone with me all the time; I became one of the strongest people I know. I never have to prove the person I am to anyone, and what I have to offer, because I spent intimate time getting to know exactly who that woman is, and she is incredible.

We walk around and we see all these girls who constantly have to have a girlfriend with them, constantly have to be hanging all over their boyfriends, constantly have to be around a crowd of people feeding them attention. If you really think about that image; how strong, confident and well rounded do you think these people truly are? How differently do you view a woman when she is walking downtown with pure and utter confidence, walking with a purpose, with her head held high, and her smile never skipping a beat, with absolutely no one near her to validate her existence? That is powerful. That is the woman we all need to discover within ourselves, that is where pure confidence and positive self-efficacy lies.

I have never felt more fearless than I do now that I have realized how strong, courageous, beautiful, comfortable, determined, powerful and incredible I am by myself, with nobody’s help or affirmation. If I want to go out somewhere, I go, I do not text, beg and plead a multitude of other girls to tag along with me, I do not force my boyfriend to go places he does not care to go, just so I don’t have to go alone; I just go. I just go, by myself, I spend time with me and I enjoy every second of it. I admire the people around me, I admire people I have never seen before, places I have never been, I learn something new and admirable about myself every moment I spend with her. It is so hard to grasp this concept with full honesty in this fast paced and reliable world we live in today. But, girl, you have to. Find a way to be strong, and happy in your own skin, because you are all you are promised.

Although friends are nice, boyfriends are lovely, and girlfriends are exhilarating, I do not need any of them. I want my very few close friends, I want my loving boyfriend, I want my unbreakable bond with my family, but I do not need any of it. Do not get me wrong, people are wonderful, relationships are irreplaceable, and family is indescribable, but finding sole peace and comfort in just being you, and confidently taking on the world alone, is indefinable. All of us women can do this; we just have to make the decision to do it.

You have to make the decision that you do not need anybody, or anything. You want most of the things that your mind tricks you into thinking you desperately need. You have to wake up every single morning, look in the mirror and recognize the strong, unstoppable badass that is looking back at you. You do not need anyone, for anything. As soon as you start finding out who you are, spending time with you, tackling your troubles alone, and discovering who you truly are, everything else will fall into place. The best things come along when you are working on you, your own successes, your own dreams, your own troubles, and your own Friday nights. Wake up every morning knowing your worth, your strengths, and your abilities regardless of anyone else’s ability to see that. As soon as you make the commitment to do this, your entire life will change. Mine did.

As cliché as ‘strong independent woman’ may sound; it is truly the most vigorous, powerful, compelling and admirable trait you can have as a woman. And the feeling is something I can never put into words. Take matters into your own hands, because those are the only hands that feed you.

Tell yourself everyday, from this day forward:

“I know what I bring to the table, so trust me when I say, I am not afraid to eat alone.”

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Grateful beyond words: a letter to my inspiration, i have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations..

Whether you met your new love interest online , through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

1. What do you do for a living?

What someone does for a living can tell a lot about who they are and what they're interested in! Their career reveals a lot more about them than just where they spend their time to make some money.

2. What's your favorite color?

OK, I get it, this seems like something you would ask a Kindergarten class, but I feel like it's always good to know someone's favorite color . You could always send them that Snapchat featuring you in that cute shirt you have that just so happens to be in their favorite color!

3. Do you have any siblings?

This one is actually super important because it's totally true that people grow up with different roles and responsibilities based on where they fall in the order. You can tell a lot about someone just based on this seemingly simple question.

4. What's your favorite television show?

OK, maybe this isn't a super important question, but you have to know ASAP if you can quote Michael Scott or not. If not, he probably isn't the one. Sorry, girl.

5. When is your birthday?

You can then proceed to do the thing that every girl does without admitting it and see how compatible your zodiacs are.

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

If you're like me, you have big goals that you want to reach someday, and you want a man behind you who also has big goals and understands what it's like to chase after a dream. If his biggest goal is to see how quickly he can binge-watch " Grey's Anatomy " on Netflix , you may want to move on.

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

This is a go-to for an insight into their personality. Based on how they answer, you can tell if they're goofy, serious, or somewhere in between.

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

For some, this may be a hard question if it involves a family member or friend who has since passed away . For others, it may revolve around a tradition that no longer happens. The answers to this question are almost endless!

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

We all have parts of our lives and stories that we wish we could change. It's human nature to make mistakes. This question is a little bit more personal but can really build up the trust level.

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

I mean, duh! If you're a dog person, and he is a cat person, it's not going to work out.

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

Personally, I am a Christian, and as a result, I want to be with someone who shares those same values. I know some people will argue that this question is too much in the talking stage , but why go beyond the talking stage if your personal values will never line up?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

Even homebodies have a must visit place on their bucket list !

13. What is your ideal date night?

Hey, if you're going to go for it... go for it!

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

For me, it was hands-down Nick Jonas . This is always a fun question to ask!

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

Let's be real, if you put a label on it, you're not going to see your significant other at their best 24/7.

16. Do you have any tattoos?

This can lead to some really good conversations, especially if they have a tattoo that has a lot of meaning to them!

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

It's always interesting to see if how the person you're talking to views their personal traits lines ups with the vibes you're getting.

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

This question can go multiple different directions, and it could also be a launching pad for other conversations.

19. What's the best gift you have ever received? 

Admittedly, I have asked this question to friends as well, but it's neat to see what people value.

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

Work hard, play hard, right?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

This is always interesting because no matter how compatible your personalities may be, if one of you wants to be serious and the other is looking for something casual, it's just not going to work.

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Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in challah bread or easter bread.

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

A few weeks ago, I was given a loaf of bread called Challah (pronounced like holla), and upon my first bite, I realized it tasted just like Easter Bread. It was so delicious that I just had to make some of my own, which I did.

The recipe is as follows:

Ingredients

2 tsp active dry or instant yeast 1 cup lukewarm water 4 to 4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/2 cup white granulated sugar 2 tsp salt 2 large eggs 1 large egg yolk (reserve the white for the egg wash) 1/4 cup neutral-flavored vegetable oil

Instructions

  • Combine yeast and a pinch of sugar in small bowl with the water and stir until you see a frothy layer across the top.
  • Whisk together 4 cups of the flour, sugar, and salt in a large bowl.
  • Make a well in the center of the flour and add in eggs, egg yolk, and oil. Whisk these together to form a slurry, pulling in a little flour from the sides of the bowl.
  • Pour the yeast mixture over the egg slurry and mix until difficult to move.
  • Turn out the dough onto a floured work surface and knead by hand for about 10 minutes. If the dough seems very sticky, add flour a teaspoon at a time until it feels tacky, but no longer like bubblegum. The dough has finished kneading when it is soft, smooth, and holds a ball-shape.
  • Place the dough in an oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and place somewhere warm. Let the dough rise 1 1/2 to 2 hours.
  • Separate the dough into four pieces. Roll each piece of dough into a long rope roughly 1-inch thick and 16 inches long.
  • Gather the ropes and squeeze them together at the very top. Braid the pieces in the pattern of over, under, and over again. Pinch the pieces together again at the bottom.
  • Line a baking sheet with parchment and lift the loaf on top. Sprinkle the loaf with a little flour and drape it with a clean dishcloth. Place the pan somewhere warm and away from drafts and let it rise until puffed and pillowy, about an hour.
  • Heat the oven to 350°F. Whisk the reserved egg white with a tablespoon of water and brush it all over the challah. Be sure to get in the cracks and down the sides of the loaf.
  • Slide the challah on its baking sheet into the oven and bake for 30 to 35 minutes, rotating the pan halfway through cooking. The challah is done when it is deeply browned.

I kept wondering how these two breads could be so similar in taste. So I decided to look up a recipe for Easter Bread to make a comparison. The two are almost exactly the same! These recipes are similar because they come from religious backgrounds. The Jewish Challah bread is based on kosher dietary laws. The Christian Easter Bread comes from the Jewish tradition but was modified over time because they did not follow kosher dietary laws.

A recipe for Easter bread is as follows:

2 tsp active dry or instant yeast 2/3 cup milk 2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour 1/4 cup white granulated sugar 2 tbs butter 2 large eggs 2 tbs melted butter 1 tsp salt

  • In a large bowl, combine 1 cup flour, sugar, salt, and yeast; stir well. Combine milk and butter in a small saucepan; heat until milk is warm and butter is softened but not melted.
  • Gradually add the milk and butter to the flour mixture; stirring constantly. Add two eggs and 1/2 cup flour; beat well. Add the remaining flour, 1/2 cup at a time, stirring well after each addition. When the dough has pulled together, turn it out onto a lightly floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, about 8 minutes.
  • Lightly oil a large bowl, place the dough in the bowl and turn to coat with oil. Cover with a damp cloth and let rise in a warm place until doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
  • Deflate the dough and turn it out onto a lightly floured surface. Divide the dough into two equal size rounds; cover and let rest for 10 minutes. Roll each round into a long roll about 36 inches long and 1 1/2 inches thick. Using the two long pieces of dough, form a loosely braided ring, leaving spaces for the five colored eggs. Seal the ends of the ring together and use your fingers to slide the eggs between the braids of dough.
  • Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place loaf on a buttered baking sheet and cover loosely with a damp towel. Place loaf in a warm place and let rise until doubled in bulk, about 45 minutes. Brush risen loaf with melted butter.
  • Bake in the preheated oven until golden brown, about 30 minutes.

Both of these recipes are really easy to make. While you might need to have a day set aside for this activity, you can do things while the dough is rising or in the oven. After only a few hours, you have a delicious loaf of bread that you made from scratch, so the time and effort is really worth it!

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer..

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake , have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart , no matter how dirty the water may look.

Every year when summer rolls back around, you can't wait to fire up the boat and get back out there. Here is a list of things you can probably identify with as a fellow lake-goer.

A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

It's your place of escape, where you can leave everything else behind and just enjoy the beautiful summer day. No matter what kind of week you had, being able to come and relax without having to worry about anything else is the best therapy there is. After all, there's nothing better than a day of hanging out in the hot sun, telling old funny stories and listening to your favorite music.

You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

Whether you want to just hang out and float or go walk around on a beach, you know the best spots. These often have to be based on the people you're with, given that some "party coves" can get a little too crazy for little kids on board. I still have vivid memories from when I was six that scared me when I saw the things drunk girls would do for beads.

You have no patience for the guy who can't back his trailer into the water right.

When there's a long line of trucks waiting to dump their boats in the water, there's always that one clueless guy who can't get it right, and takes 5 attempts and holds up the line. No one likes that guy. One time my dad got so fed up with a guy who was taking too long that he actually got out of the car and asked this guy if he could just do it for him. So he got into the guy's car, threw it in reverse, and got it backed in on the first try. True story.

Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

Similar to the "jeep wave," almost everyone waves to other boats passing by. It's just what you do, and is seen as a normal thing by everyone.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Alcohol seems to be a big part of the lake experience, but other drinks are squeezed into the room remaining in the cooler for the kids, not to mention the wide assortment of chips and other foods in the snack bag.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

There's nothing worse than floating in the water, all settled in and minding your business, when some idiot barrels through. Now your anchor is loose, and you're left jostled by the waves when it was nice and perfectly still before. This annoyance is typically answered by someone yelling some choice words to them that are probably accompanied by a middle finger in the air.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

It's the lake, and some social expectations are a little different here, if not lowered quite a bit. When you have to go, you just go, and it's no big deal to anyone because they do it too.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

The number of anchors you go through as a boat owner is likely a number that can be counted on two hands. Every once in a while, it gets stuck on something on the bottom of the lake, and the only way to fix the problem is to cut the rope, and you have to replace it.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

If you're the typical lake-goer, you likely might have an average-sized boat that you're perfectly happy with. However, that doesn't mean you don't stop and stare at the fast boats that loudly speed by, or at the obnoxiously huge yachts that pass.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

You've learned this the hard way, coming back from a day in the water and seeing the flowers on your bathing suit that were once white, are now a nice brownish hue.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

If the driver knows how to give you a good ride, or just wants to specifically throw you off, you know you're done when you're speeding up and heading straight for a big wave. Suddenly you're airborne, knowing you're about to completely wipe out, and you eat pure wake. Then you get back on and do it all again.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

One of the many nice things about the life at the lake is that everybody cares about everything a little less. Rolling up to the place wearing only your swimsuit, a cover-up, and flip flops, you fit right in. After a long day when you're sunburned, a little buzzed, and hungry, you're served without any hesitation.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Every once in a while you're hit with technical difficulties, no matter what type of watercraft you have. This is one of the most annoying setbacks when you're looking forward to just having a carefree day on the water, but it's bound to happen. This is just one of the joys that come along with being a boat owner.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

One of the many interesting things that make up the lake culture is the fact that many people name their boats. They can range from basic to funny, but they are unique to each and every owner, and often have interesting and clever meanings behind them.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

Summer is your all-time favorite season, mostly because it's spent at the lake. Whether you're floating in the cool water under the sun, or taking a boat ride as the sun sets, you don't have a care in the world at that moment . The people that don't understand have probably never experienced it, but it's what keeps you coming back every year.

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independent girl essay

Why educating women is more important than we realize

independent girl essay

The Times of India

The Stri or the Female Energy is the creatrix, mother of all gods, conqueror of all evil, dispenser of all boons in the Indian culture. She is considered the divine power of the universe from where all beings are born. This divine female energy is worshipped with intense adoration and devotion in India.

Yet, it is in India itself that we find the most intense contradiction towards the female shakti.

On one hand we surrender to the divine Durga to protect us and on the other hand we look down upon the feminine principle with condemnation, contempt, cause of all failures, source of lust and miseries.

An Indian woman suffers this wrath both in her mind and heart right from her birth. She struggles to understand her true role, position, and identity in human society. She lives in a dilemma, wondering whether to relate to the feminine deities being erected all around her or to an unborn female avatar which was never allowed to be born.

Since ancient times women have not been denied legal, social, and educational rights in India but certainly in practise they have been more preoccupied and confined to domestic affairs and that is where their social subordination began.

Despite such subjugation, women have survived important roles such as bold householders, strong mothers, queens, administrators, warriors, elected representatives and leaders. Therefore, despite oppression and denial, India has, time and again, truly experienced the shakti of this female creative force.

The way forward for India and humans in general is to treat the Female Shakti (The Feminine Powerhouse) with respect, deep regard, equal access to experiences, learning and opportunities. All sexes should be allowed to find, above all sexual differences, their full inner potential.

India, the land of diversity and contrast, India the ardent worshipper of the Shakti-The Durga can perhaps lead mankind into human success based in deep regard for the deep inner potential, intellectual prowess and ingenuity of women. Denying women their due place is denying mankind its due success.

Women Across the Globe

The battle for legal, civil, social, and educational equality is a central element of woman’s rights globally. However, a deeper understanding of the women’s needs has revealed that in daily life they struggle to voice their objections and opinions, struggle to agree or disagree, condemn, or promote, speak, share, discuss, and struggle to manage, participate and lead.

Therefore, it would not be incorrect to state that the battle is only half won if the women get access to education and opportunities but no access to exercise their will.

Women across the globe may be characterized by diversity in feminine energy and feminine approach to life, work, family, and society yet their basic emotional, psychological, physical, mental, intellectual, social, professional, and creative needs tie them together to a common cause. The common cause being-women across the globe want to be active participants and decision makers in their own lives and refuse the passivity that is expected of them.

A modern progressive woman prides herself with all her feminine virtues. She wishes to embrace her own self in entirety not to put men down but only to break out of an oppressed state so that she can realize her own untapped full potential.

Women today are capable of and want to accumulate the advantages of both the sexes, but she is not willing to pay an unfair price for achieving this. For instance, a young mother wants the right to work or not to work to lie within the realms of her decision-making powers.

She wishes to be able to make a choice between scenarios where in one she wishes to fully involve herself in her motherhood and suspend her professional aspirations without being made to feel undeserving or financially dependent. Or in another scenario where she wishes to strike a balance between her motherhood and professional duties and yet not labelled as irresponsible and selfish. Such a state of choice with dignity would be true liberation for a young mother.

Equal Education is a Steppingstone Towards Gender Equality, Quality Socialization and Economic Growth

Denying women access to equal and quality education opportunities encourages gender segregation and stereotypical behaviour in society. Perceptions towards gender roles are sowed by members of family and society very early on in the lives of men and women which adversely impacts the quality of the socialization process.

Creating gender neutral learning environments can serve as a steppingstone to quality socialization. This in turn can help in creating favourable position for women in creative, scientific, technological, professional endeavours and lessen their personal and social struggles.

Any society that denies and discourages women from boldly participating in the learning process is only encouraging biased patterns that are deeply rooted in promoting the influential masculine identity.

Quality education can help both men and women understand these deep-seated issues in our society, raise their collective and individual levels of awareness, understand the importance of all people, irrespective of sex, in building a healthy and conscious society. In order to ensure sustainable development, it has become imperative to recognize the importance of all the sexes.

When a girl is educated, she is empowered. She can make her own decisions, raise the standard of living for her family and children, create more job opportunities, and reform society as a whole. As a result, a shift in attitudes toward girl child education in India is urgently needed. Every girl child deserves to be treated with love and respect. If all girls complete their education and participate in the workforce, India could add a whopping $770 billion to the country’s GDP by 2025!

Some Important Statistics

As per statistics presented by UNICEF, 129 million girls are out of school around the world, including 32 million of primary school age, 30 million of lower-secondary school age, and 67 million of upper-secondary school age.

Borgen Project, a US based not for profit, study has revealed that every year, 23 million girls in India drop out of school after they begin menstruating due to lack of sanitary napkin dispensers and overall hygiene awareness in schools.

As per National Survey of India, Literacy Rate in India has increased from 73% in 2011 to 77.7% in 2022, however it still stands behind the global literacy rate which stands at 86.5% (as per UNESCO). Of the 77.7% Indian literacy rate in 2022, male literacy rate stands at 84.7% and female literacy rate stands at 70.3% as compared to global average female literacy rate of 79% (as per UNESCO).

There are several factors that influence poorer literacy rates in women as compared to men, the biggest and most crucial factors being inequality and sex-based discrimination. This discrimination pushes the girl child to either never be born (female infanticide) or the woman to be predominantly pushed into household affairs.

Low enrolment rates, high dropout rates, social discrimination, unsafe public spaces, prioritizing boy child education are some other important factors that negatively influence female education.

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"10 Things I Hate About You" turns 25: How Kat Stratford inspired a generation of angry girls

And why "bottoms" and "yellowjackets" can both be traced to the beloved 90s teen film, by nardos haile.

Let’s face it, we all wanted to be Julia Stiles ' Kat from “10 Things I Hate About You ," the '90s teen movie based on Shakespeare's "The Taming of the Shrew." Like the play, the story centers on two sisters, Kat and Bianca Stratford (Larisa Oleynik).

The eldest, Kat is abrasive, rude and has one friend  — unlike Bianca, who is seemingly popular, obsessed with her Prada bag and yearns to start dating. There's just one problem: The girls' strict doctor father (Larry Miller) forbids Bianca from dating until Kat dates, too. This kicks off a variety of string-pulling scenarios that ultimately end up pushing Kat into the path of local Australian bad boy Patrick Verona ( Heath Ledger ), while Bianca debates between empty-headed Joey Donner (Andrew Keegan) or nerdy new kid, Cameron James ( Joseph Gordon-Levitt ).

Outside of the fluttering romance plot and teen hijinks, Kat’s anarchist vibe was bitingly cool, self-assured and unyielding in her feminism and beliefs. As such, she was labeled as her high school’s resident freak, and while her interests in “feminist prose and angry girl music of the indie rock persuasion” were too jarring for the movie’s Seattle high school suburbanites, they resonated with teen girls in real life — and have continued to do so for decades. 

As "10 Things I Hate about You" turns 25, it's worth looking back at how the 1999 film never domesticated its 18-year-old protagonist and instead, through Kat's character and the movie's overall riot grrrl sensibilities, laid the groundwork for Kat and other angry girls to be just that — angry. 

Before the film’s inception, in the early '90s, an underground punk feminist movement was born in Olympia, Washington that helped launch third-wave feminism into the stratosphere. As the birthplace of '90s punk, Seattle was a hub for male-centered rock and grunge and the riot grrrl movement — which was centered on a bedrock of feminism, punk music and radical politics — was founded as a response to the hypermasculine music scene. Essentially, women and girls wanted to use music to express their unbridled anger, rage and frustration. 

It opened the door for women to air out their grievances, just like male rockers (and often, these grievances were born from the patriarchal system). 

Riot grrrl bands ranged from Raincoats to Bikini Kill and Bratmobile. They sang songs about empowerment, rape culture and supporting and uplifting women. As a decentralized movement, the musicians and activists made art and zines; they organized protests and performances; and they did it while also sitting around and talking, elevating their listeners' consciousness of the issues about which they sang, the New York Times reported.  

These punks also revolted against what it meant to be a stereotypical girl, rejecting the push of hyper-consumerist, capitalistic ideals projected onto women. This included throwing a middle finger at the dominant culture’s standards of beauty. Riot grrrls didn’t care much about fashion for its aesthetics or seemingly superficial purposes. They cared about fashion because it could mean they could make a statement with their bodies and clothes. 

In many ways, Kat is the perfect example of what it meant to be involved in the riot grrrl movement in the late ‘90s. She is the school’s outcast because of her politics and sheer rage at the system. She doesn’t date boys because she detests them, only reads feminist literature and truly loves female-centered punk music. In class when her male English teacher, Mr. Morgan (Daryl Mitchell) suggests reading Ernest Hemingway, she questions why they don’t read any women. These are the “oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education,” she said. “[Hemmingway] was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.”

Instead, she suggested they should read Sylvia Plath, Simone de Beauvoir or Charlotte Bronte. After getting sent to the office for disrupting class, she tells the guidance counselor Ms. Perky ( Allison Janney ), “Expressing my opinion is not a terrorist action."

Outside of class, Kat's riot grrrl tendencies can be observed in her extracurriculars and her fashion sense. While attending a Letters to Cleo concert, she lets her emotional steel armor fall as she slips into a crowd filled with other women punk fans who understand her. 

Kat's fashion, which leans more masculine with feminine statement pieces, looks particularly personal and lived-in. By the end of the film, she ditches her oversized cargos and baby tees for a delicate blue prom dress with a matching shawl after Patrick pleads with her to attend the dance. As her character further breaks free from her emotional armor, she pulls her hair back in a wispy French braid and adorns a flowy, feminine white top – the first time she wears white in the movie.

However, this makeover isn't indicative of Kat losing her principles, as is sometimes the case in films in which love changes a woman; it's indicative of her coming into herself. 

This version of Kat never wavers in “10 Things” because of its clever writing duo, Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith. They did not allow Kat to be turned into a submissive girl because she fell in love. They cut off the misogynistic trope of “taming the shrew” by its ankles before it could walk. Instead, they choose to transform the hedonistic and chauvinist Patrick. Before Patrick is propositioned to take Kat out, he is portrayed as scary, lonely and unapproachable. Sounds a bit like Kat. 

The character’s deviance from all authority and especially male authority lives in her feminism, her clothes and her music taste. She knows that “in this society, being male and an a*****e makes you worthy of our time.” So in turn Kat fights back. She fights back by not being “what people expect. Why should I live up to other people's expectations instead of my own?” She even defies her father when he tries and fails to guilt trip her into not going to Sarah Lawrence. She tells him, “I want you to trust me to make my own choices and I want you to stop trying to control my life just because you can't control yours!”

We need your help to stay independent

When Kat finds out about Patrick's whole gimmick around dating her, he then buys her a guitar. While Kat says he can’t buy a guitar every time he messes up, he jokes and tells her he can buy her drums, a tambourine and other band instruments. Earlier in the film, Patrick also publicly humiliates himself for Kat by singing Frankie Valli's song, "Can't Take My Eyes off You" in front of the whole school. He softens for Kat and it's precisely because of her sincerity in her values and strength in personhood. 

Ultimately, he's the shrew who gets tamed — I mean, c'mon, he even gives up smoking cigarettes for her.

In "10 Things," Kat proved to the world and media that women should never be tamed. The importance of autonomy and choosing to be angry can be a fruitful and healthy emotion for women. The shrew label never worked on her because her unabashed confidence and conviction were always painted as her strengths. 

While the character learns how to soften herself and allow space for vulnerability, it never takes away from who she is at her core – it just adds to her greatness. In this depiction, Kat paved the way for characters like PJ (Rachel Sennott) and Josie ( Ayo Edebiri ) from “ Bottoms ” or even the leads in the Showtime drama “ Yellowjackets .” Like writers McCullah and Smith said in an interview with Decider, “a lot of teenage girls saw themselves [in Kat] for the first time—or a version of themselves they wanted to be: Someone who’s unafraid to say what she thinks and do what she wants.”

about this topic

  • "Yellowjackets" is a fantastic, terrifying plummet into the darkness of female desire and rage
  • Beyond "girl gone mad melodrama" — reframing female anger in psychological thrillers
  • From "Barbie Girl" to Girl Dinner and beyond: What's behind our obsession with the girl-ish label

Nardos Haile is a staff writer at Salon covering culture. She’s previously covered all things entertainment, music, fashion and celebrity culture at The Associated Press. She resides in Brooklyn, NY.

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independent girl essay

Angel Reese Bids Farewell to LSU, College Basketball With Heartfelt Video Essay

  • Author: Karl Rasmussen

In this story:

Angel Reese announced Wednesday morning that she intends to enter the 2024 WNBA draft following LSU's season-ending defeat against Caitlin Clark and Iowa in Monday's Elite Eight .

Shortly after her announcement, Reese bid farewell to the Tigers and all of her fans across the country on a more personal level, sharing a heartfelt video essay to her social media accounts. In the video, Reese thanked her supporters and expressed her gratitude to those who helped her along her journey.

"I'm leaving college with everything I've ever wanted," Reese said. "A degree. A national championship. And this platform I could have never imagined. This is for the girls that look like me, that's going to speak up on what they believe in, it's unapologetically you. To grow up in sports and have an impact on what's coming next.

"This was a difficult decision, but I trust the next chapter because I know the author. Bayou Barbie, out."

Grateful for these last four years and excited for this next chapter. #BAYOUBARBIEOUT pic.twitter.com/EvkzUW08JV — Angel Reese (@Reese10Angel) April 3, 2024

Reese played two seasons at LSU after transferring from the University of Maryland. With the Tigers, she racked up a multitude of accolades and won a national championship last season, vaulting herself into the national spotlight in the process. Across 69 games for LSU, Reese averaged 20.9 points and 14.4 rebounds.

After wrapping up a legendary college career and bidding an emotional farewell to her fans, Reese has officially declared her intention to enter the WNBA draft, where she projects as a first-round pick in what figures to be a loaded draft class.

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Jan 13, 2024; Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, USA; Oklahoma City Thunder guard Shai Gilgeous-Alexander (2) smiles after scoring against the Orlando Magic during the first quarter at Paycom Center. Mandatory Credit: Alonzo Adams-USA TODAY Sports

Former Kentucky Wildcats are favorites or near the top for every important NBA Award

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Flag football: Statewide schedule for Tuesday, April 9

  • Published: Apr. 09, 2024, 11:02 a.m.
  • Joe Zedalis | NJ Advance Media for NJ.com

Tuesday, Apr. 16

Big central.

South Brunswick at New Brunswick (0-1), 4pm

College Achieve Paterson at Elizabeth (1-0), 5pm

Hillside (1-1) vs. Wayne Valley (1-0) at Wayne Valley High School, 7pm

Lyndhurst at Garfield, 6pm

Wallington at Leonia, 8pm

Ridgewood (1-0) at Paramus (2-0), 6:30pm

East Orange at Nutley, 7pm

Teaneck at Indian Hills (0-2), 7pm

Middletown South at Henry Hudson, 6pm

Middletown North at Keansburg, 6pm

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Joe Zedalis can be reached at [email protected]

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Guest Essay

The Rage in ‘Carrie’ Feels More Relevant Than Ever

independent girl essay

By Amanda Jayatissa

Ms. Jayatissa is the author of three novels, most recently “Island Witch.”

In “On Writing,” Stephen King’s nonfiction account of his career, he talks about a girl he calls Dodie Franklin. She attended his high school and, he recalls, was often bullied for wearing the same clothes every day. In their sophomore year, on the first day back after Christmas vacation, she came to school wearing newly fashionable clothes with a trendy hairstyle — but the bullying and teasing never stopped. “Her peers had no intention of letting her out of the box they’d put her in,” Mr. King writes. “She was punished for even trying to break free.”

The realization that nothing could change Ms. Franklin’s social standing, coupled with a few more unfortunate examples of young women he knew, helped inform a story about a bullied girl with telekinetic powers who is pushed to her limits and who wreaks brutal revenge on her classmates and, eventually, her abusive mother. “Carrie,” Mr. King’s first published novel, was released 50 years ago, in 1974.

There have been many iterations of “Carrie” since. Horror enthusiasts will recall the classic film directed by Brian De Palma and released in 1976; there have been several remakes, most recently one in 2013 starring Chloë Grace Moretz. There was an ill-fated stage adaptation , “Carrie: The Musical,” which the TV show “Riverdale” once paid homage to. Many things have changed in the half-century since Mr. King’s novel was published, yet Carrie White remains a strikingly relevant and highly relatable figure. She raged her way to a place in pop culture’s pantheon. But why?

I first read “Carrie” as a nerdy, horror-enthused 14-year-old growing up in Sri Lanka. At the library of the Christian school I attended, Mr. King’s books were extremely hard to come by, so when I saw a copy at a friend’s house, I was quick to borrow it. I vividly remember being drawn to Carrie’s wide-eyed gaze on the cover, blood trailing from her forehead and dripping down her chin. “Nobody was really surprised when it happened,” it reads in the opening pages. “Not really, not at the subconscious level where savage things grow.” I was hooked. What did Mr. King mean by “savage things”? I didn’t realize then that I would spend so much of my adult life thinking about this very question.

I’ve reached for “Carrie” many times since, and my relationship with the story has continued to shift and evolve. Like most teenagers, I suppose, I initially reacted to Carrie’s story with pure horror; I was mortified by the way she was teased, repulsed by the pig’s blood that gets dumped over her at prom and fascinated by the death and destruction she wrought in retaliation. In my 20s, when I revisited the novel, the horror I felt at her tale turned to something closer to sympathy. By that point, I’d moved from Colombo to California to Britain and then back to my hometown in Sri Lanka and had chalked up enough life lessons to understand Carrie’s suffering in a different way.

Now, as a woman in my 30s, I no longer see Carrie as simply a victim to be pitied. I’ve learned to relish her rage. Her anger has inspired much of my own fiction writing and, more important, has taught me that anger, when channeled, can be an asset. This truly hit home for me in July 2022, when I joined thousands of protesters in Colombo marching against corruption and the economic mismanagement of the country’s leaders. Years of feeling powerless finally erupted. We were all angry, of course, but we used our rage as fuel.

In the past year, women in the United States have had many reasons to figuratively burn down auditoriums and destroy towns. The war on women is still very much alive, as Roe v. Wade was overturned, in vitro fertilization procedures were endangered in Alabama and pregnant women are still not allowed to divorce their husbands in Missouri.

These days I see Carries everywhere. At the end of 2023, Gypsy Rose Blanchard — who had been convicted of second-degree murder in connection with the death of her mother, Dee Dee Blanchard, after years of being subjected to abuse and Munchausen syndrome by proxy — was released from prison. There are many interesting parallels between Gypsy Rose Blanchard and Carrie, the most glaring being the obvious torment of each by her mother.

What struck me as most interesting (read: most depressing) was the public response Ms. Blanchard received after her release. While some hailed her as a folk hero, many labeled her a killer, much like Carrie, for fighting back against her tormentor — not just in a court of law but also in the court of social media. TikTok was rife with hot takes, arguing there was something sinister about Ms. Blanchard or claiming that her husband was actually her brother. Rather than being viewed as a young woman trying to navigate her way through an absolutely horrendous situation, she was criticized for participating in a television series. Many people seemed content when she was the victim, but it infuriated them when she tried to take a stand for herself. What was true of Mr. King’s account of Ms. Franklin proved true for Ms. Blanchard, too: “She was punished for even trying to break free.”

Look at the way that Meghan Markle has been treated — criticized as an attention seeker for speaking out in a society that constantly blames women for staying silent. Or take Britney Spears. We all cried “Free Britney” and lamented the ignorance of our ways when we learned of how those in her life had treated her terribly, yet all it takes is a social media post of her dancing in clothes deemed by some to be too provocative to leave viewers shaking their heads at her again, saying she has gone off the deep end. God forbid women choose to fight back by simply expressing themselves in a way that defies convention.

I believe we still too often look at women who fight back against their oppressors and see them as villains rather than assigning responsibility for their situations to the people who tormented them. Carrie has always been the antidote to that predicament: She forces us to confront our feelings about what happens when women instill some of the same fear in others that they are too often forced to deal with themselves. Carrie’s plight still speaks to feelings in women of rage, helplessness and a desire for justice or, failing that, retribution. None of that has gone away in 50 years.

Beyond being a supremely well-told story, Mr. King’s novel still connects on the same “savage” subconscious level he mentioned at the start of the book. “Carrie” was packaged and marketed as horror, but what is it about the character of Carrie that’s truly horrifying? Is it the revenge that’s exacted by a bullied girl? Or is it the actions of those who stood around and allowed her to be tormented? The question at the heart of the story is: Who is the real monster? Fifty years later, we’ve come to understand that it’s not Carrie but the world that made her.

Amanda Jayatissa is the author of three novels, most recently “Island Witch.”

The Times is committed to publishing a diversity of letters to the editor. We’d like to hear what you think about this or any of our articles. Here are some tips . And here’s our email: [email protected] .

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COMMENTS

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