funny bad cover letters

Here Are 12 Of The Worst Cover Letters We've Ever Received

As the Managing Editor at Business Insider, I receive lots of cover letters every day. Some of them are really great, and tell me instantly that the applicant gets what we're trying to do here and why they are someone we might want to hire.

Others are awful. Bad enough that I've started collecting them in a Gmail folder called "Worst Cover Letters."

The offenses vary. Some people are way too long-winded and never get to the point. Others don't realize their emails are riddled with spelling errors. Some people call attention to their weaknesses in a letter that's supposed to summarize their strengths. Others can't (or at least don't) write in the language we would be hiring them to write in.

I don't mean to emphasize the negative. The next post will feature some of the best cover letters I've ever received. (Not surprisingly, most of those people now work at BI.) But still, in the name of demonstrating what NOT to do...

This one's too short. It's also rude ("Hello"? How about a name?). You should always assume we're still offering the position, write a quick note, and attach your resume.

This person tells us what they're incapable of. (For example, why point out that you're "average" at Excel?)

This cover letter has a lot of issues. For one, it's way too long. For another, it's filled with bloated self-importance. ("Burgeon"? Are you kidding me?)

Here's the second half of this guy's rant. It never ends!

This one's too negative: "The only reason I'm applying"; "I don't read much of the magazine"; "I know I am not tailor made for the job."

This person wants a job where she can only work "non-working" hours? What?

This is a second email in a correspondence. The applicant tells us he is "just looking for a paid job in journalism" when he should be telling us why he's the one for THIS job.

Spelling errors are an immediate red flag. Especially in a sentence like, "I don't have any expereince related to Journalism background."

A position is never a good fit BECAUSE you are 24 years old.

Why would we care that your friend's grandfather loves your writing? And don't get us started on the lowercase "i"s.

Here's one where the candidate complains about the lack of response from other jobs she's applied for. Yikes!

This one doesn't even mention a position, or Business Insider at all, for that matter!

Is this English?

For more job hunting mistakes check out

20 ways to screw up a job interview >

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11 Extremely Funny Cover Letters That People Actually Sent

There was once a time when bagging the job of your dreams entailed writing a short and simple cover letter that convinced the recruiter that you are insanely talented. These guys have skipped the talented element and just gone straight for the insane.

It will soon be that time of year again, when a deluge of enthusiastic graduates morph into desperate job seekers who are clambering to secure the job they have (literally) been dreaming of through countless two-hour-long lectures.

The majority of them will probably fall at the first hurdle. Not because their education sucks, but because they’re competing with every other Joe Monkey who has a college-level education and a resume that stresses their fantastic communication skills (read more: what not to write on a resume ). To get ahead of the pack, you have to distinguish yourself with your cover letter. But before you sit down and pen the perfect introduction to your sparkling resume, you’re going to have to do your research. To give you a helping hand, we’ve dug out some examples of funny cover letters that will most certainly give you some food for thought.

Here’s the thing. We’d actually hire some of these people. I mean, who can turn down a potential candidate whose cover letter divulges that she once donated her hair to charity? Or a guy who fights bears for a hobby? These are gems!

BTW: If you’re applying for hundreds of jobs but getting nowhere, our expert cover letter editing services can help you to finally put the rejection behind you.

If you’re currently working on your cover letter and are looking for some simple tips on how to write a killer introduction to your resume, take a look at our guide fantastic cover letter formula .

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The "Funny" Cover Letter Mistake That Almost Always Backfires

Co-founder and CEO of Aha! — the world's #1 roadmap software

“Comedy is not pretty!” That is the title of an old Steve Martin special and I have to agree with the sentiment. When you tell a joke you need to be ready for laughs and also prepare for the worst. Some nights, the audience might roll in the aisles with laughter. The next night? Tough crowd, tough crowd.

I am a fairly serious person but I enjoy a good laugh — there is a time and place for joking. You would not think a job application is a laughing matter, though. But it is surprising how often I have seen some ill-advised attempts at humor in cover letters .

One cover letter detailed a plan to create a wild movie parody that was certain to “go viral.” Another promised to make customers “seethe, sweat, and smile.” Or what about no cover letter at all? Instead, a list of the top 10 reasons to hire someone, including” “my mom loves me” and each one sillier than the last.

Candidates are looking for creative ways to make a positive impression. And it takes time to craft a cover letter and resume that a hiring manager wants to read.

I realize it can be tough to stand out from a crowd of applicants, all vying for attention. It is not easy to put yourself out there and risk rejection. I admire the effort — but the execution sometimes confuses me.

That is the reason I want to explain why I do not think it is wise to show your stand-up-comedian side in a cover letter. Because humor is:

What you think is patently hilarious, someone else might find juvenile, obnoxious, insulting, bizarre, or even offensive. There is no universal standard for what anyone considers funny. Once you consider all the possible ways your joke might go sideways, it probably will not seem quite so funny anymore.

Using humor in your cover letter is a big gamble. After all, you probably do not know the person reading your email on the other end. The hiring manager may be a huge fan of comedy — or the most humorless person you will likely never meet (and could be annoyed that you are wasting time with silliness).

Distracting

Even if you get the desired chuckle you want, your jokey asides can distract the hiring manager from the real reason you are writing — you want the job. You could earn some attention, but you come off looking like a goof-off rather than a viable candidate who is ready to get down to work.

Now, I am not suggesting that you should completely silence your personality. You certainly want to show vigorous signs of life.But when you are looking for a job, you want potential employers to see you as a professional, not a workplace jester. So before you send out that next funny cover letter, consider it from the hiring manager’s perspective.

Ask yourself, “How will this joke or story be perceived by someone I do not know? Is the joke worth the risk that it might be a distraction?”

Better to consider a few of our suggestions for how to keep your cover letter simple and genuine. Describe your strengths and how your experience makes you a great fit for the role. Explain why you are excited about the opportunity and the company.

Just be your best self — save your dry sense of humor and crazy wit for later, when it will be better appreciated.

How have you seen humor backfire on the job?

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How to write a (funny) cover letter

Let your humor shine through so they meet the real you.

I freaking love Glossier. I love it so much, I’ve brought every single one of my friends who visits NYC to their store, and I’m pretty sure a lot of the people working there know who I am by name. Plus, my friends always ask me about my favorite products and recommendations. I own every single flavor of their Balm Dotcom, use multiple Glossier products multiple times a day, and feel that I have earned the title “Glossier Queen.” Basically, the next step in my Glossier Journey™  would be to work for them. Or, maybe even better: get them to hire my mom (aka BEST Take Your Child To Work Day EVER). 

BACKSTORY/SPOILER: So I wrote a cover letter to Glossier about why they should hire me and my mom. From Glossier: crickets . WHAT? BUT! The founder of GOLD happened to see my letter, loved it, and hired me to write this article. So I did get a gig—and Glossier, I’m not giving up!

What’s so important about a cover letter? 

You are not a resume. You are a person. A cover letter is someone’s first impression of you, so it should show that you would be a good addition to the team—not only qualifications-wise but personality-wise. 

That’s why a cover letter doesn’t need to be meep morp robot-y. Stand out—be funny! From a decade (holy cow that’s a big number! Gimme an O! Gimme an L! Gimme a D!) of doing theater auditions, I’ve learned that you must stand out to be remembered by the director, which will increase the chance of you getting cast. For those of you who’ve had experience with theater, think of a cover letter as an audition. 

You want to be professional and show off your skills—and you want to stand out. Here’s how!

5 tips for using humor to make your letter sound human

Whether it’s for a summer camp counselor, baby food taste tester, or the ceo of a modern lifestyle brand that rhymes with “doop,” here’s what you need to get your cover letter the attention you deserve., 1. say hello (to a real person).

Research the proper contact, and address them by name. No one wants to read a letter to “Whom It May Concern,” unless their name is Whom It May Concern. Once you know who they are, say hi! It’s nice. I like to say “Hello, name of person who you’re writing to!” with an exclamation point because it shows that I am excited to apply for this job and do good work! Just not too many exclamation points after that! I think you see what I mean!

2. Introduce yourself with ~pizzazz~

Tell them a little bit about yourself. Just a taste—like you have experience in something that relates to what you want to be doing. This is a good place to be authentically funny, or at least charming, if it feels natural. 

Here and elsewhere, this doesn’t mean you need to write an actual joke with a setup and a punchline and a clever tag. It’s more an opportunity to add a bit of very specific and colorful detail, like, if you’re me: “I own every single flavor of Balm Dotcom and am on my third Boy Brow.” ( Humor is like ranch dressing. A little with some carrots, broccoli, etc. is good. Great, even! But most people are really weirded out when you just eat a whole lot of it with a spoon.) Also: this is not the place for self-deprecating humor, like “College was awful, like me!!1!1!1!1!!!!” 

3. But also be straightforward where needed.

People like people who make them laugh, but they also like people who are the right fit for the job with a good work ethic and passion. Be clear about:

• What gig you want.
• Why you want to work there: What are their values? Mission? Why work for them instead of somewhere else?
• What you can help them with: Childcare? Research? Taking over multinational corporations? Get specific about the tasks you are ready to roll your sleeves up to do.

This is where you show that you know when to be funny/charming and also when to get down to bizness.

4. Do! Not! Sell! Yourself! Short! 

When you talk about your qualifications, don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through, even as you aim to communicate concrete and important info. Try to paint a picture and describe, rather than just using Resume Words like “detail-oriented” or “self-starter.” Instead of saying you’re “super-organized,” you can say that you color-code your color-coding pens inside a color-coded pencil case. In other words, where it’s not too forced, show, don’t tell!  

5. End with a call to action

Tell whoever you’re emailing what you are hoping to get from them, other than a job: a response. For those of you who are new to writing cover letters, it sounds a bit strange to tell them to respond, but ya gotta do it. Schedule a Skype call or meeting IRL—just do what you’ve gots2do.

The easiest way is just to slide it in during the sign off.  Try “Looking forward to hearing from you soon.”

I’ll end by sharing with you my letter to Glossier. Maybe it will be helpful to you—or maybe they’ll see it here and reconsider. (See: I’m SHOWING, not just telling, that I’m “dedicated.”)

Good luck landing your dream gig—by being yourself!

Hello friends at Glossier!!

My mother and I are beloved fans of Glossier. Both of us would ~love~ to work at your company; alas she has had over two decades of startup experience, including “IPO” (her words, not mine), which was funded by the Lauder family, therefore she would be a better fit for a job. She is, as you probably just read, very experienced with high growth startups, but more importantly, awesome, innovative, and smart. I think she would make an excellent addition to your team. (LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/tereza )

Now let’s talk about me: I attended a year of school at Leaf Academy in Bratislava, which focuses on Entrepreneurial Leadership, focusing on design thinking. Through this program, I’ve helped to plan multiple events such as Model European Parliament SK, Startup Weekend Bratislava, Sensorium Digital Arts & Culture Festival, and Výťah Space Conference. In addition, I have extensive experience with social media (being Gen Z, of course).

This past year, I’ve discovered my passion for the environment and sustainability—specifically sustainable skincare and clothing brands. It is extremely important to me, as someone who will be alive to experience the effects of climate change, that lifestyle companies that use their power as drivers of how people go about their lives step in and take action towards climate change. 

I own every single flavor of Balm Dotcom and am on my third Boy Brow, I never go downtown without stopping by the Glossier store—I always bring my friends. In fact, most of my friends refer to me as something along the lines of “Glossier Queen” which is accurate. I attend school in Europe but will be home from July 1 st to August 30 th . If you wanted to hire me instead, I think my mom would be okay with that.

Our favorite Glossier products are Boy Brow, Lash Slick, and of course, Generation G in Leo, Jam, and Poppy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read (or not – that’s okay too) this email. Although this is written in a jokey way, I really think she would be a great addition to the team. I would love nothing more than a “take your kid to work day” at the Glossier office.

If you would (hopefully!!) like to reach out to my mom, her LinkedIn is above.

     Margot Hulme

PS: This is not my mother writing this as a joke; it is me Margot ( https://www.instagram.com/margotkh/?hl=en )

Photo via: Glossier

Margot Hulme is a high schooler living in New York. Not upstate NY, but just outside New York City. When she’s not studying for the SATs (shoutout class of 2021), Margot is probably playing piano or browsing the King Arthur Flour catalog. Ya know, just for fun.

cover letter funny how to margot hulme teen

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Do Not Send a “Funny” Cover Letter Like This One

“Comedy is not pretty!” That is the title of an old Steve Martin special and I have to agree with the sentiment. When you tell a joke you need to be ready for laughs and also prepare for the worst. Some nights, the audience might roll in the aisles with laughter. The next night? Tough crowd, tough crowd.

I am a fairly serious person but I enjoy a good laugh — there is a time and place for joking. You would not think a job application is a laughing matter, though. But it is surprising how often I have seen some ill-advised attempts at humor in cover letters .

One cover letter detailed a plan to create a wild movie parody that was certain to “go viral.” Another promised to make customers “seethe, sweat, and smile.” Or what about no cover letter at all? Instead, a list of the top 10 reasons to hire someone, including” “my mom loves me” and each one sillier than the last.

Candidates are looking for creative ways to make a positive impression. And it takes time to craft a cover letter and resume that a hiring manager wants to read.

I realize it can be tough to stand out from a crowd of applicants, all vying for attention. It is not easy to put yourself out there and risk rejection. I admire the effort — but the execution sometimes confuses me.

That is the reason I want to explain why I do not think it is wise to show your stand-up-comedian side in a cover letter. Because humor is:

Subjective What you think is patently hilarious, someone else might find juvenile, obnoxious, insulting , bizarre, or even offensive. There is no universal standard for what anyone considers funny. Once you consider all the possible ways your joke might go sideways, it probably will not seem quite so funny anymore.

Risky Using humor in your cover letter is a big gamble. After all, you probably do not know the person reading your email on the other end. The hiring manager may be a huge fan of comedy — or the most humorless person you will likely never meet (and could be annoyed that you are wasting time with silliness).

Distracting Even if you get the desired chuckle you want, your jokey asides can distract the hiring manager from the real reason you are writing — you want the job. You could earn some attention, but you come off looking like a goof-off rather than a viable candidate who is ready to get down to work.

Now, I am not suggesting that you should completely silence your personality. You certainly want to show vigorous signs of life.

But when you are looking for a job, you want potential employers to see you as a professional, not a workplace jester. So before you send out that next funny cover letter, consider it from the hiring manager’s perspective.

Ask yourself, “How will this joke or story be perceived by someone I do not know? Is the joke worth the risk that it might be a distraction?”

Better to consider a few of our suggestions for how to keep your cover letter simple and genuine. Describe your strengths and how your experience makes you a great fit for the role. Explain why you are excited about the opportunity and the company.

Just be your best self — save your dry sense of humor and crazy wit for later, when it will be better appreciated.

How have you seen humor backfire on the job?

Brian de Haaff

Brian seeks business and wilderness adventure. He is the co-founder and CEO of Aha! — the world’s #1 product development software — and the author of the bestseller Lovability and The Startup Adventure newsletter. Brian writes and speaks about product and company growth and the journey of pursuing a meaningful life.

Follow Aha!

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😜 33 Funny Cover Letters and Job Applications That are Actually Real

• Post author: Jacob Share
• Post published: June 9, 2016
• Post comments: 5 Comments

These need to be seen to be believed.

MOST of these are real. See if you can spot the few joke ones, and mention your picks in the comments .

1) “Attached is a copy of my CV and his death certificate”

2) “I have brave fight to wild bear”

3) “I am only 6”

4) Reason for leaving: “It sucked”

5) “kount money faster than a bank teller”

6) “i like kids and its fun to fiddle with them”

7) “I won't waste your time… feeding you a line of crap”

8) “If you have any questions, please feel free to f#$king contact me”

9) “it would be the highest choice of my smile to discuss myself being hired”

10) “Please explain your rationale for the rainbow”

11) Please tell me why you deserve to be hired: “To be paid”

12) “You need me to work you because you seem to have trouble with math”

13) “lets make it happen WOO WOO”

14) “Please realize that I'm not a braggart or conceited”

15) “calling our head of HR a ‘skank ho' does not gain you any plus points”

16) “My middle name is Promptness. True story. Ask my mom”

17) “here's a good presentation that cover's the basics”

18) “this position sparked my interested because…”

19) “I am your dog walker… I got a 1600 on my SATs”

20) “Me also can fight for boxing like Tyson”

21) “I am also very highly motivated, just show me the money”

22) “I hate this guy”

23) “I'm sick of writing these pedestrian cover letters, you're sick of reading them”

24) “I am 24 years old which is why I think this position is a great fit for me”

25) “I received some feedback from the grandfather of a friend”

26) “And like to write columns, blogs, reviews, articles and letter to the editor”

27) “since I moved here solely for career purposes, don't really have any friends yet… I'm in a perfect position to make work my life”

28) “right now studying in a Left leaning institution”

29) “the only caveat IS I have to do this during non-working hours”

30) The most generic cover letter ever?

31) “it would probably explode from Cancer of the RAM”

32) “I dont have any expereince”

33) Business Insider Sports Intern?

34) Captain America's cover letter

35) “I am writing to you in regard to the position of boyfriend”

ABC News: Worst cover letters

More funny cover letters and job applications

• Reverse Job Application
• Is this the worst cover letter ever?
• 7 Funniest Cover Letters
• 17 Funniest Cover Letters and Resumes

Question of the article

What's the dumbest thing you ever wrote on a cover letter or job application? Tell us in the comments !

Subscribe to JobMob via RSS or email and follow me on Twitter for more ideas on how NOT to job search.

Jacob Share

This post has 5 comments.

Jacob. These are great. The funniest cover letters and resumes. Real people writing real letters not corporate lingo. I laughed till I cried reading the resumes. Thankyou. A wonderful relief from university assignments.

Glad I made you cry, Shirleen 😂😂😂

Haha, I had a wonderful time reading this! Thanks so much for compiling all these wonderful examples.

These are hilarious!

I’d guess that the following are fake: 1, 8, 20 and 31.

1 is probably fake, but the others may well be real in that they were actually sent to a recruiter. Click through to see for yourself

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10 terrible cover letters from across the internet 💻

There’s nothing like reading a few disastrous cover letters plucked from the depths of the internet to make you feel better about your own  cover letter writing abilities . On that note, take a look at ten of the worst cover letters we could get our mitts on.

1. The ‘brutally honest’

2. The ‘desperate’

3. the ‘short and not-so-sweet’.

4. The ‘arrogant’

5. The ‘unfortunate additional picture of Nicolas Cage’

6. The ’employ me because I’m 24′

7. The ‘downright rude’

8. The ‘totally creepy’

9. The ‘lost in translation’

10. The ‘minimalist’

Find more career advice on our  Graduate Blog  – or search the latest jobs on our  Graduate Jobs  board!

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The 8 graduate cover letter mistakes you will be making

CV structure: How to write a graduate CV

How an employer reads your graduate CV

What is an applicant tracking system? How to write a CV to beat the Automated Tracking Systems

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Cover Letters from Hell

Attached to every résumé is an obligatory cover letter, which seems to have a difficulty rating of 11, since that’s where we find the most tortured prose ever set to paper. for example:.

I expect the position to pay commissary to that of its value, as well as to the performance completed.

Or, decode this:

It is my desire to develop and generate the revolving scheme to filter to the consuming public in.

But first, why are cover letters so often awful? We see two huge reasons:

• A writer uses legalese because she lacks confidence in her authentic voice.   From potential interns trying to ace our   Creativity Test , to MBAs immersed in BizSpeak, tin-ear applicants feel they must inflate their prose, diligently combing the thesaurus to select — sigh — precisely the wrong polysyllabic clinker.
• Many people fail to understand the mission.   Hey, kids, it’s attached to a résumé. You don’t need to explain what you’re doing, to repeat what’s in the résumé itself, or to explain why résumés exist. You want a job. (Hey, look: that simple declarative sentence took four clear one-syllable words.) It’s more important to   call attention to yourself . Separate yourself from 499 other applicants by animating the personality behind the cut-and-dried credentials.

And yes, there are 500 applicants. Okay, maybe not for that coveted hostess position at The Olive Garden, but statistically, it’s harder to get a job at Killian Branding than at Southwest Airlines, which is, in turn, arithmetically harder to get into than Harvard.

See the foot. Aim at the foot. Fire!

Applicants often write to an abstract “Sir/Madam,” instead of to an easily-researched human being who has just disposed of 12 other résumés that morning. They might spin their wheels with the non-starting “My name is ______,” which provokes us to ask “Are you highlighting your name to impress us with your celebrity status?” Or the pointless “attached is my résumé” which is a big Duh. Worse is Mail Merge Slippage, where a name, or company name, auto-inserted into the text by some Microsoft Resume-O-Matic fails to match the name of the recipient.

Nobody proofreads.   Three-fourths   of all cover letters sport at least one spelling error. Most are puzzled by punctuation. No small number are festooned with what we call the Shoot-Me-Now Errors (there/their/they’re; its/it’s; to/two/too). Enjoy your career at The Olive Garden.

A word to the wise: An error-free letter is now so freakin’ rare that the minimal care required to send a letter with zero defects, combined with a few crisply written simple declarative sentences, will, alone, guarantee a respectful reading of a résumé. Maybe even secure an interview.

Doesn’t anybody read Strunk and White in school? If you haven’t, get a copy of   The Elements of Style , so you can follow it all your days, especially Chapter 5.

As we promised, more of our best/worst cover letter excerpts:

I promise to keep this short and to the point. I’m looking for a job, within the fields of advertising and or marketing. As I searched online I stumbled upon your company and thought that I’d drop you a line to see if you had any openings. I have a string background in video production…

I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.

Despite the many obvious limitations of SpellCheck, isn’t it worth at least a try … for instance, while you Mulitaks with the other chiarpersons?

Skills: Microst word, excel, and power point. Mulitaks person, public speaking, and surveying. Professional Associations – Chairwomen of Studnts Teaching Awareness and Responsibility organization. Responsible for research of all 10 event topics, coordinating all campus chiarpersons.

Our thanks to faithful reader Steve Beavers of Wishbone Graphics, who shared these next two gems with us.

Does your printed material scream “LOOK OVER HEAR”? If not, why pay the high price for something that doesn’t catch the readers attention.

I am eager to put my McGuyver-like design ability to use in the workplace. I’m sure you receive hundreds of these letters a week, but how many of those people have built an entire campaign with nothing more than old barbed wire and used Popsicle sticks? None? I’ve never done that, either but it would be a neat trick. I would like to come by and show you my work in hopes of making something of my life so I can move out of my parents basement.

Does attending “collage” involve sleepover seminars where you decoupage pictures cut from Teen Scene magazine?

Objective: To work in a challenging environment that allows me to use my imaginatiation…. Education: ______ Collage.

Who’s better to spew out incite, than a college senior … ?

This “red” thing must come up daily... (We pulled the plug on this because you get the drift; the subsequent “blue” and “lavender” explanations didn’t substantially improve her employment chances.)

The colors red, blue, and lavender are those that I identify with the most. I feel they accurately describe my personality. I choose red because I turn red when I get embarrassed ….”

Editor’s question: is “highering” related to “lowering?”

What better way to grow then by highering someone that brings the West Coast charm to the Windy City?

Is this stuff contagious?

I’m not intimated by your internship; want to be apart of your fun atmosphere …

My bachelor Degree in Advertising … brought talent out of me in marketing and having my work done on the due date. Which I would offer my ideas to the company, as well as being apart of the marketing team and learning more as an intern.

Immediately after we first published this next one in a newsletter, we got calls and letters asking if it could possibly be real. Yep. She’s a freelance web designer from Alabama, and we framed the original.

I also have a degree English which serves me well in editing text for poor grammer or typos.

We will omit, out of mercy, questions 3 through 7.

Hi! My name is ____, and I am a senior at ____ University. For my one Advertising class we are select and present an agency, within our groups, to the class in which we find interesting…. Such information that I would need is 1) How your departments are broken down? 2) Who is the executives and how moving up the ladder is achieved?

We'd rather be forced to read 'Eat, Pray, Love' than this inspirational pep talk again:

Today is the first day of my life… Last year was a tremendous year for personal growth, insight and maturity. I courted that growth… This year I want to “take the world by storm.” I want to make a film. I want to be the producer or the director, which ever will put me in the middle of all the creativity and decision-making…. I am terrified of the all-out approach I sense in my spirit. However, I am not scared enough to let it stop me. I will go and push and strive until I have reached the finish line. I will sacrifice anything but my God (morals) and my family. Pride has no place in my new life. I will be striving for perfection.

Presented without comment:

I also want to obtain a deeper understanding of how Advertising firms

An all-time classic sent in by a CLFH fan from the great state of Michigan, where the cyclical nature of the automotive industry leads to a lot of job switching. It’s yet another example of why you must never rely on spell-check alone to catch your errors:

I am seeking a new position as i have recently been laid.

This company was brought up, um, sharply?

My name is ________, and I am currently a Junior Marketing student and the University of ___________. I noticed the high ratings for your company, and I was just wondering what kind of focuses your company advertises to. I am a Marketing student […] and just was wondering how exactly this company was brought up in such a large city such as Chicago.

I am currently attended _______ University…

We’ve always had food-industry clients, and yes, we talk about food a lot, but we’ve never before been ordered to actually be food:

… being a member of the (name withheld) Organization, and, braise yourselves, even participating in a folk dance ensemble …

Okay, stop.

Not only am I creative, I am a very hard working. Give me a project and I don’t stop until it is finished or I am told to.

[My] proven record of successful brand building … demonstrate[s] my ability to perform in a fast paced environment. Originally from Vietnam, I also offer expertise in the following areas: – Asian cuisine: I deliver Nem, in-box or out-of-the-box, – Traditional massage: I satisfy Client above their expectation, – Karaoke singing: but also a lot of listening, listening and listening to Client. Would you like to taste any of those, please feel free to contact me on my email address mentioned above.

I am a somewhat recent transplant to Chicago and am greatly struggling to find a job. I was employed for just under 3 months during the summer at [redacted] but due to irreconcilable differences between myself and the (mis)manager my employment was terminated. This was almost two months ago and the job market in Chicago is not a friendly place to be.

Thirteen file this into please put.

Strong writing abilities. Able to analysis data and problem solve.

Is this a trick question?

A flaw that I must point out because it even bothers me is that I am impatient. I hate waiting, but then again who does?

This is the first entry in a new category we call “Insult Your Way to the Top!”

Another reason [you should hire me is] your web site is very unfriendly and may sway some clients into not working with you. People use websites of companies such as yours for research and your website thinks that it is witty, but comes off very dull and cheezy.

I will be able to input your agency with a wide and nouveau perspective in the creative field.

I need real world experience and after reviewing your web site I get the impressing that your company believes in maintain a lax work environment while efficiently meeting the needs of it’s customers (right?).

We replied to this college senior, on an ill-advised rescue impulse, gently suggesting he get some remedial help with his writing, since he had an error in every single sentence of his three-page letter. His furious four-page reply included some amazing stuff, such as:

…you should be straight forward and … simply state that your company is seeking a grammar teacher who lacks creativity but knows how to properly write a letter and knows exactly where to place punctuation. If your company takes such a serious position towards proper grammar then I think you guys are in the wrong profession. I believe even the leader of this country that we live in lacks proper grammar yet he is still our leader. [Editor’s note: this was, to be sure, written during the G. W. Bush administration.] I can assure you that he leaves grammar and punctuation to the proper authorities such as his receptionist or grade school English teacher. …I am not precisely sure why you choose to take such a stance perhaps because you have nothing better to do, or maybe because you have personal insecurities that seep out and you feel the need to degrade or target others based on stupid little infractions to make yourself feel better, I don’t know what the case is … if I am out of line please let me know but if I recall properly your companies web site is not the most professional site there is. If you guys are trying to project a laid back yet hard working image through your site and request the same from prospective employees then you should not be so prudent about minor infractions such as punctuation and grammar…. (I reread it before sending it and it states my point clearly and unless you lack the mental capacity to make out the meaning without having exact and precisise grammar maybe you should seek a new proffsion, I hear this country lacks alot of grammar school teachers perhaps that would be a better fit for you) In conclusion I have indeed made many mistakes in this e-mail many on purpose and many accidentaly I did not have the time nor the patientce to deal with it I will leave the grammer checking to the professionals such as yourself.

The accompanying résumé was printed on fabric, which helps explain, but not justify, the preposterous assertion of the first sentence, or the mixed metaphors of the second.

A résumé is the fabric that makes the person. Now, I must combine those fibers and project them so you can discover a little personality beyond the framework.

This next isn’t exactly a cover letter excerpt: it’s the first line of a speculative ad layout submitted by the would-be copywriter who submitted the fabric-printed muddle above. The ad is for champagne.

You feel the crisp, aged taste permeating in your mouth.

Looking for a full creative person for your team? … Deep Studies on movies. Prepared for the totally unexpected advertising and Selling Blasting

I am getting to my goal, slowly but surly

I want to expose my creative ideas for a good agency not just that the agency is good rather to build a image of quality. I know no in this selfish and risky world will give the chance until I prove my quality that too in free of cost. Thus, I am offering you this small note of request to give me a break by providing projects of a.Creating concept for T.V Commercials b.Print media c.Hoarding I would like to do first three project for you without any payment or salary. Just to prove my creativity. This is to win your confidence to give me a Just to prove that I can add wing to your agency to fly and reach the height of success. Though it may sound big but I believe in myself and have enough confident to win your trust on me by my work. This will give both of us to understand better.

We would translate this, but it sounds better in the original Gibberish.

It is through the innovational process, as well as media, that the features of an image can be highlighted and brought to the forefront for the consumer viewing.

No chance, babe. Pronoun companies are for wussies. We’re an adjective company.

I would like to start learning from a pronoun company and I feel as if Killian will give me the opportunity I am looking for.

I am a motivated, self-igniting person who greatly entertains the challenges of bettering myself and the performance of work that I do.

My objective in a career is to find a professional position with a company with standards and respect for all of their clients and employees. Where I can work hard and see the results of my help, determination and success in my position taking place.

A “mammut program” is probably not like a Mamet program. More improvisational maybe. Am I right? Yes, you’re right. Damn straight I’m right.

To you, people from killian branding! I’ve read over the content you have on your web site concerning “careers” or “internships”…so, first off all, you would get to benefit from my creativity and abilities. second, Darwin sucks, I will not be ok with the idea that I come from a rock. third, I propose a different kind of internship…I currently work for a huge mammut program called [REDACTED], if you google it, yes, it’s on the map :) ). My work program is flexible and so, I want to fill it and add to it with another type of work I love, creating. What? Anything, I play the guitar, I sing, I carv wood, I draw (newly added passion), but most of all, I like thinking about desings and logos and that kind of stuff. If you ask for experience, I can only say that I know you will help me build it. I have done it only occasionally, and now hope to begin doing it more profesional. What I propose? I have like up to 20h/week of voluntarily work available for anything you think is doable ….

How many ways can you shoot yourself in the foot? Quite apart from the See Spot Run rhythm of the first four sentences, and the always-fatal apostrophe-plural, there’s that indirect request lurking in the last two sentences, where a résumé might be sent to us, but only if we beg for it.

… as I was researching, I found Killian Branding. Killian Branding, sounds both interesting and exciting. Also, I noticed Killian Branding is located in Chicago, Illinois. Chicago, Illinois is one of the area’s I am looking at for an internship. I would like the opportunity of sending you my cover letter and resume. If you are interested, please e-mail me at ….

Hopefully your outside enjoying this wonderful weather, although it’s a little too hot now, will us Chicagoan’s ever be happy with the weather? : ) I just scheduled a meeting with you for this Friday at 9:30AM. I look forward to meeting you.

Alarmed, I sent this candidate a note canceling the interview. I pointed out the four* shoot-me-now errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar and usage in her first sentence. That approaches the world land speed record. She was not, of course, grateful for the career tip, but said she’d never want to work for someone so “judgmental.” Sigh. *Five errors, if you count “hopefully,” but I gave up on that one years ago.

• SORRY, NO QUICK LINKS FOR THIS PAGE

• December 28, 2020
• 10 minutes read

How to Use Humor in a Cover Letter

Job applications have become more and more involved. Not only do you need a resume, but you may also have to include a portfolio, add references, pass job assessments, and ace two or more interviews. But one aspect stands out as the most dreaded of all: the cover letter. The reasons for this are numerous, ranging from too much pressure to a sense of having to be overly formulaic. In short, applicants just aren’t sure how to write one to stand out. Do you let your personality shine? Or do you stick to something professional? However, one manner of writing is gaining traction: adding humor in a cover letter. By doing so, you can set yourself apart from other applicants and give the hiring manager an insight into how you’d gel with the company.

Do You Still Need a Cover Letter?

The debate on cover letters is in full force. While some say experts say it’s dead, others remain confident that it’s one of the deciding factors in the hiring process. To build on this discourse, take these statistics into account. According to a ResumeLab survey, 83% of hiring managers contend that a cover letter is integral in deciding if you’re a fit for the company’s values and culture. Conversely, Boston-based employment agency Addison Group found that only 18% of hiring managers regard the cover letter as an integral part of a successful application.

Due to this dichotomy, job candidates should consider the cover letter an added bonus, allowing them to demonstrate their personality and skills. Thus, the key to a successful cover letter is differentiation. So how do you differentiate? While you have many avenues to create something that’s unique and stands out, humor in a cover letter just might be the most effective.

The Risk Factor of Humor in a Cover Letter

Before you add humor in a cover letter, know the risks. Not every job or profession dictates or needs humor, especially more serious roles in upper-level positions. However, hiring managers have the tedious task of sifting through hundreds of resumes and cover letters daily. And it’s in this mundaneness that humor can truly make your cover letter shine.

But you should also know the risks. Not every hiring manager is wired the same way. And even if they have a sense of humor, they might not have your sense of humor. This is an important distinction and one of the reasons that a bit of comedy is also a gamble. Furthermore, you’re never quite sure how the person on the other end will perceive your jokes or puns. Some might fast-track you to the shortlist of candidates while others may find a lack of professionalism off-putting and end you application process right there. In this regard, tact and the proper way to use humor becomes a necessity.

The Don’ts of Humor in a Cover Letter

Before diving into how to use humor in a cover letter, start the process by understanding the aspects you absolutely, unequivocally should never touch. This list includes the following:

• Any joke that would earn a PG-13 or higher rating
• Potty humor of any kind
• Juvenile/sophomoric humor
• Jokes that could be misconstrued as sexist, ageist, racist, or homophobic

If you’ve read the above and your cover letter humor ideas don’t match, you might be in luck. But remember: if you have any doubt as to whether your humor is appropriate, chances are it’s probably not. Always err on the side of caution in this regard to avoid offending others or having your reputation tarnished.

The Reasoning and the Research

So you want your cover letter to stand out ? Well, the bad news is that a witty one-liner isn’t always the answer. Therefore, you have to question the reasoning behind your choice to take the humor route. And that’s where your research comes into play. Researching any company you’re applying with is a no-brainer. Doing so can demonstrate:

• Desire to work for a particular employer
• If you’re a cultural fit
• Helps you formulate interview questions
• Enables you to answer “why do you want to work for us?”

While these are all great aspects of research, it also helps you to tailor your cover letter. Perusing the company website, social media channels, and any press releases can help you tell if the company is all business or if they have humorous or at least conversational undertones or language. Not only will this allow you to make the decision on whether to use humor in a cover letter, but it also shows you what type of humor would appeal to the hiring manager or other decision-makers.

Being the Top Dog Helps

If you’re a borderline candidate for a job, humor probably won’t help you all that much. Instead, you need a solid resume and a more professional approach to the position. Applicants in the upper echelon of potential candidates may have a bit more leeway. And because you’re already in the top tier, humor is the great differentiator. Note that this isn’t a steadfast rule. But it’s just another consideration you should have before penning the world’s funniest cover letter.

Have you ever heard a best man speech that drones on for 20 minutes? Or a sermon at church that keeps you looking at your watch? That’s because humans typically have a short attention span. It’s not that lengthy dissertations or speeches—even with humor—are especially terrible. But they’re not always necessary. In a professional sense, you also have to value the hiring manager’s time. Odds are strong that they’re poring over dozens of applications a day. Add in the idea that recruiters and companies only look at your application for six seconds before saying “yea” or “nay,” and you don’t have paragraphs or even a few sentences to get your humor across.

In this regard, brevity is key. Keep everything short and to the point, and you just might find more hiring managers appreciating your wit or calling you for an interview.

The Obvious

Like any strong resume, your cover letter should be free of spelling, grammatical, and syntax errors. Forgetting to proofread the letter after drafting it will only nullify your hard work of coming up with humor in a cover letter. So check it once, check it again, and read through it one last time to make sure everything looks amazing and still has the hallmarks of a professional cover letter.

Include All the Usual Parts of a Cover Letter

In addition to your humorous quip, don’t forget that it’s still a cover letter. As such, make certain that you include the following aspects:

• The job you want or are applying for
• Introduce yourself
• Paint a picture of the skills you possess and include any stats that boost your appeal (Example: boosted sales by 22% in Q3)
• Why you want to work at the company and how your skills apply to the position
• Call to action
• Thank you for reviewing the resume
• Contact information

Remember that you don’t just want a verbal recap of your resume. You can take parts of it, but don’t just regurgitate. In this regard, let your resume do the talking and your cover letter be the one-upper.

Superb Examples of Humor in a Cover Letter

Humor comes in a wide array of styles and tastes. Chances are if you ask five people who their favorite comedian is, you’ll get five different answers. So to satisfy your curiosity for funny cover letters and the level of humor that’s been deemed acceptable for employment, here are some stellar examples of humor in a cover letter.

Note: Take notice of the position titles, such as the first example, which helped this applicant nail down an interview.

Dear Potential Master, I was beyond thrilled to see the Customer Service Ninja position at [Company] for two reasons. One, I have long been a fan of your company and all the amazing work you do, and two, because as a real ninja, you can certainly understand that job opportunities for me have been few and far between since 15th-century Japan. Now, why should you consider me over substantially more well-known ninjas like Leonardo, Donatello, Michaelangelo, or even Raphael? Well, for starters, I’ve been skillfully trained in the art of espionage, sabotage, infiltration, and assassination (though I would never assassinate unless ordered to, of course). Your job posting made it clear that you are looking for someone who is ready to take on a variety of responsibilities. Would it impress you to know that I’m proficient in hand-to-hand combat, the katana, and shuriken (you may know these as “ninja stars”) and know seven different ways to render a man immobile with just two fingers? In other words, I’m positive I can handle any responsibilities you throw at me. And as for thriving in a fast-paced environment: Have you ever seen a ninja fight? I’ll be fine. I noticed that the hours are from 3 p.m. to 12 a.m., which is perfect for a ninja like me since I like to operate under the cover of darkness anyway. And while I’ve been trained by the legendary Fujibayashi Nagato, one of the most legendary ninjas ever, to be self-sufficient in all my tasks, I’m very capable and enjoy working as a team while attacking. I humbly look forward to hearing from you soon and would relish the chance to come in for an interview. Maybe you’ll see me coming, maybe you won’t. A good ninja never tells. Sincerely, Applicant Name Source: TheMuse

This applicant eventually landed the job. But for many jobs this approach may be a bit too strong. Still, it’s a fine example of using the job title (Customer Service Ninja) to appeal to an employer while also praising the company and showing the skills you can provide.

Light Humor

In this opening line to a cover letter, the applicant applies a touch of humor but doesn’t overdo it. Then, the writer turns the humor into a skill beneficial to the position—a worthy transition that makes the cover letter stand out.

When I was growing up, all I wanted to be was one of those people who pretend to be statues on the street. Thankfully, my career goals have become a little more aspirational over the years, but I love to draw a crowd and entertain the masses—passions that make me the perfect community manager. Source: TheMuse

The Humor in Intrigue

Another well-executed example of humor in a cover letter is just a straightforward approach that also adds a bit of intrigue. Again, the transition to the job role and mentioning how much the applicant wants to work for the company is natural, while the opening line is simple and provides a little chuckle.

The other day, I took a  career assessment , which told me I should be a maritime merchant. I’m not quite sure what that is, but it did get me thinking: A role that combines my skills in business development with my lifelong passion for the ocean would be my absolute dream. Which is how I found this role at Royal Caribbean. Source: TheMuse

The Attention Grabber With a Call to Action

Combining a great opening line with a call to action at the end, this applicant provides an insight into their live, personality, and sense of humor.

Have you ever had your mom call five times a day asking for a status update on how your job search is going, and then sounding incredulous that not more progress has been made since the last phone call? That’s my life right now. But I’m hoping that soon my life will revolve around being your full-time social media manager. The good news is, I bring more to the table than just an overbearing mom. Let me tell you more. Source: TheMuse

And if you’re having trouble putting together a solid cover letter with or without humor, let Virtual Vocations Career Services help. With a team of experienced resume and cover letter writers, Virtual Vocations can add a dash of professionalism to your cover letter humor.

Moderation Is Key, But Don’t Be Scared to Let Your Personality Shine

Using humor in a cover letter is more than just a few jokes or a bit of dry wit. It’s what helps your personality shine, even at the beginning of the application process. By understanding the potential risks involved and approaching the humor in a somewhat professional matter, it’s not a matter of getting or not getting a job. It’s about finding the right job. No one wants to feel like the wrong puzzle piece shoved into place. So let your humor fly, and you just might find yourself in the midst of a job you love.

Have you successfully used or seen humor in a cover letter? What did you write or read in the cover letter?  Connect with Virtual Vocations on Facebook , Twitter , LinkedIn , Instagram , and YouTube to share your comments. We’d love to hear from you !

Joining  Virtual Vocations  grants you access to our hand-picked remote jobs database. Learn  how our service works , browse job leads by  location and career category , or search hundreds of hand-screened remote jobs to find legitimate work-at-home job leads that match your skills and background.  Register for free  or  contact us  for more information on our service guarantee. Check out our menu of Career Services provided by our team of certified professionals, including resume and career coaching services for remote jobseekers. Resume assessments and writing, LinkedIn profile enhancement, and cover letter writing are available to maximize the success of your remote job applications.  Discounts on all services available to subscription members,  become one now.

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Real Bad “Cover Letters” – (cover letters that are real, and, really bad!)

By Resume Confidence — — Posted in Cover & Thank You Letters , Job Search Tips

Real cover letters – real reasons you should NOT copy these really bad examples:

Letter #1 (sent to my friend that owns a small business and also supplied good input about what hiring mangers want in my last blog, “ Follow Directions! “)

“Your company is looking for a motivated individual that offers many characteristics that promote success within your organization such as knowledge, dependability and someone that is a self starter.

My name is XXX and I feel that I possess the right elements that will enhance the position to which you are seeking to fill by the many traits that I have instilled in previous experiences allowing us to be successful through our working relationship. Please consider me for your available position and allow me to be part of your team. I appreciate your consideration.

 Please look over my resume.”    ( that was the entirety of the introduction email …)

Letter #2 (sent to a recruiter friend of mine that works for a Fortune 500 company – she recruits for high end positions, people, and yet, she & her team of recruiters OFTEN receive things from job applicants that are just, well, *wrong*, like this …)

“ To Whom It May Concern:

I would like to express my deep appreciation for reading this letter. At the outset I would beg your indulgence to allow me to express my true self in an unorthodox manner, for the traditional introductory letter I found very cold and insincere. At the risk of bucking this tradition I ask that you please give me this chance.

I absolutely recognize that skills and know-how would be a decisive factor in the mind of any decision maker, as it should. I have humbly outlined those in my resume. I however want to start by a story of a graceful virgin who fell in love with a prophet of old. She was the daughter of the tribe chief whom every elegant male was pursuing. But she wanted that man. She recognized two categorical imperatives, strength and Integrity. As shy and proud as she was, she said, “Engage him, father, for the best to hire is the strong, the honest” I have never forgotten the paradigm. I think about it all the time.

I understood what she meant. Strength alone I believe (as technical skills) will not do because the world is full of un-empathetic competent figures. Honesty alone would not do because we have a task at hand crying for completion. I believe both are imperative. I humbly believe that I possess both. I will uphold any fiduciary. I will honor a promise whether to a child, my client or to my superior and I will bring technical skills I believer that you will be happy with.

I am a wandering little man who is looking for a home to dwell in the rest of my career. This will be the bosom that will feed me and my family, that will preserve my dignity and for that I want to devote my life to. I ask you to please consider my request for a consideration and just give me a chance.

Thank you again for reading my letter and ask that you forgive me if I did not write in the usual business style .”  (In a follow up email I asked if she DID “forgive the usual business style” and consider this job seeker for the job – she did not.)

———–>>>(more input from other hiring manager & recruiters available!   Click here to visit Ask a Manager.

What’s wrong with these letters, folks?  I KNOW you know these are not good examples – in fact, these real examples are really really bad, aren’t they?

Rather than picking on them specifically, I’ll ask you more usefully if either of them meet the basic rules of a GOOD cover letter:

• Is the letter tailored specifically to the job for which you are applying, matching their needs with your qualifications?
• Is it focused on the needs of the company/job) vs. only the reasons why the applicant wants or needs the job?)
• Is it professional in tone and style?  Is it error free?  Is it concise and to the point without being too brief and therefore useless or generic?

Along with other obvious factors, the answer to the questions above are, in part, why these example letters are only good for being bad cover letter examples.

Click here now to read “ How To Writing an Attention Getting Cover Letter ” post (the GOOD kind of attention, that is!) 

Tags: cover letter , hiring manager advice , recruiter advice

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Fact Sheet on FTC’s Proposed Final Noncompete Rule

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The following outline provides a high-level overview of the FTC’s proposed final rule :

• Specifically, the final rule provides that it is an unfair method of competition—and therefore a violation of Section 5 of the FTC Act—for employers to enter into noncompetes with workers after the effective date.
• Fewer than 1% of workers are estimated to be senior executives under the final rule.
• Specifically, the final rule defines the term “senior executive” to refer to workers earning more than $151,164 annually who are in a “policy-making position.”
• Reduced health care costs: $74-$194 billion in reduced spending on physician services over the next decade.
• New business formation: 2.7% increase in the rate of new firm formation, resulting in over 8,500 additional new businesses created each year.
• This reflects an estimated increase of about 3,000 to 5,000 new patents in the first year noncompetes are banned, rising to about 30,000-53,000 in the tenth year.
• This represents an estimated increase of 11-19% annually over a ten-year period.
• The average worker’s earnings will rise an estimated extra $524 per year. 

The Federal Trade Commission develops policy initiatives on issues that affect competition, consumers, and the U.S. economy. The FTC will never demand money, make threats, tell you to transfer money, or promise you a prize. Follow the  FTC on social media , read  consumer alerts  and the  business blog , and  sign up to get the latest FTC news and alerts .

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Guest Essay

I Thought the Bragg Case Against Trump Was a Legal Embarrassment. Now I Think It’s a Historic Mistake.

By Jed Handelsman Shugerman

Mr. Shugerman is a law professor at Boston University.

About a year ago, when Alvin Bragg, the Manhattan district attorney, indicted former President Donald Trump, I was critical of the case and called it an embarrassment. I thought an array of legal problems would and should lead to long delays in federal courts.

After listening to Monday’s opening statement by prosecutors, I still think the district attorney has made a historic mistake. Their vague allegation about “a criminal scheme to corrupt the 2016 presidential election” has me more concerned than ever about their unprecedented use of state law and their persistent avoidance of specifying an election crime or a valid theory of fraud.

To recap: Mr. Trump is accused in the case of falsifying business records. Those are misdemeanor charges. To elevate it to a criminal case, Mr. Bragg and his team have pointed to potential violations of federal election law and state tax fraud. They also cite state election law, but state statutory definitions of “public office” seem to limit those statutes to state and local races.

Both the misdemeanor and felony charges require that the defendant made the false record with “intent to defraud.” A year ago, I wondered how entirely internal business records (the daily ledger, pay stubs and invoices) could be the basis of any fraud if they are not shared with anyone outside the business. I suggested that the real fraud was Mr. Trump’s filing an (allegedly) false report to the Federal Election Commission, and that only federal prosecutors had jurisdiction over that filing.

A recent conversation with Jeffrey Cohen, a friend, Boston College law professor and former prosecutor, made me think that the case could turn out to be more legitimate than I had originally thought. The reason has to do with those allegedly falsified business records: Most of them were entered in early 2017, generally before Mr. Trump filed his Federal Election Commission report that summer. Mr. Trump may have foreseen an investigation into his campaign, leading to its financial records. He may have falsely recorded these internal records before the F.E.C. filing as consciously part of the same fraud: to create a consistent paper trail and to hide intent to violate federal election laws, or defraud the F.E.C.

In short: It’s not the crime; it’s the cover-up.

Looking at the case in this way might address concerns about state jurisdiction. In this scenario, Mr. Trump arguably intended to deceive state investigators, too. State investigators could find these inconsistencies and alert federal agencies. Prosecutors could argue that New York State agencies have an interest in detecting conspiracies to defraud federal entities; they might also have a plausible answer to significant questions about whether New York State has jurisdiction or whether this stretch of a state business filing law is pre-empted by federal law.

However, this explanation is a novel interpretation with many significant legal problems. And none of the Manhattan district attorney’s filings or today’s opening statement even hint at this approach.

Instead of a theory of defrauding state regulators, Mr. Bragg has adopted a weak theory of “election interference,” and Justice Juan Merchan described the case , in his summary of it during jury selection, as an allegation of falsifying business records “to conceal an agreement with others to unlawfully influence the 2016 election.”

As a reality check: It is legal for a candidate to pay for a nondisclosure agreement. Hush money is unseemly, but it is legal. The election law scholar Richard Hasen rightly observed , “Calling it election interference actually cheapens the term and undermines the deadly serious charges in the real election interference cases.”

In Monday’s opening argument, the prosecutor Matthew Colangelo still evaded specifics about what was illegal about influencing an election, but then he claimed , “It was election fraud, pure and simple.” None of the relevant state or federal statutes refer to filing violations as fraud. Calling it “election fraud” is a legal and strategic mistake, exaggerating the case and setting up the jury with high expectations that the prosecutors cannot meet.

The most accurate description of this criminal case is a federal campaign finance filing violation. Without a federal violation (which the state election statute is tethered to), Mr. Bragg cannot upgrade the misdemeanor counts into felonies. Moreover, it is unclear how this case would even fulfill the misdemeanor requirement of “intent to defraud” without the federal crime.

In stretching jurisdiction and trying a federal crime in state court, the Manhattan district attorney is now pushing untested legal interpretations and applications. I see three red flags raising concerns about selective prosecution upon appeal.

First, I could find no previous case of any state prosecutor relying on the Federal Election Campaign Act either as a direct crime or a predicate crime. Whether state prosecutors have avoided doing so as a matter of law, norms or lack of expertise, this novel attempt is a sign of overreach.

Second, Mr. Trump’s lawyers argued that the New York statute requires that the predicate (underlying) crime must also be a New York crime, not a crime in another jurisdiction. The district attorney responded with judicial precedents only about other criminal statutes, not the statute in this case. In the end, the prosecutors could not cite a single judicial interpretation of this particular statute supporting their use of the statute (a plea deal and a single jury instruction do not count).

Third, no New York precedent has allowed an interpretation of defrauding the general public. Legal experts have noted that such a broad “election interference” theory is unprecedented, and a conviction based on it may not survive a state appeal.

Mr. Trump’s legal team also undercut itself for its decisions in the past year: His lawyers essentially put all of their eggs in the meritless basket of seeking to move the trial to federal court, instead of seeking a federal injunction to stop the trial entirely. If they had raised the issues of selective or vindictive prosecution and a mix of jurisdictional, pre-emption and constitutional claims, they could have delayed the trial past Election Day, even if they lost at each federal stage.

Another reason a federal crime has wound up in state court is that President Biden’s Justice Department bent over backward not to reopen this valid case or appoint a special counsel. Mr. Trump has tried to blame Mr. Biden for this prosecution as the real “election interference.” The Biden administration’s extra restraint belies this allegation and deserves more credit.

Eight years after the alleged crime itself, it is reasonable to ask if this is more about Manhattan politics than New York law. This case should serve as a cautionary tale about broader prosecutorial abuses in America — and promote bipartisan reforms of our partisan prosecutorial system.

Nevertheless, prosecutors should have some latitude to develop their case during trial, and maybe they will be more careful and precise about the underlying crime, fraud and the jurisdictional questions. Mr. Trump has received sufficient notice of the charges, and he can raise his arguments on appeal. One important principle of “ our Federalism ,” in the Supreme Court’s terms, is abstention , that federal courts should generally allow state trials to proceed first and wait to hear challenges later.

This case is still an embarrassment, in terms of prosecutorial ethics and apparent selectivity. Nevertheless, each side should have its day in court. If convicted, Mr. Trump can fight many other days — and perhaps win — in appellate courts. But if Monday’s opening is a preview of exaggerated allegations, imprecise legal theories and persistently unaddressed problems, the prosecutors might not win a conviction at all.

Jed Handelsman Shugerman (@jedshug) is a law professor at Boston University.

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