communication meaning assignment

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1.2 What Is Communication?

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Learning Objectives

• Define communication and describe communication as a process.
• Identify and describe the eight essential components of communication.
• Identify and describe two models of communication.

Many theories have been proposed to describe, predict, and understand the behaviors and phenomena of which communication consists. When it comes to communicating in business, we are often less interested in theory than in making sure our communications generate the desired results. But in order to achieve results, it can be valuable to understand what communication is and how it works.

Defining Communication

The root of the word “communication” in Latin is communicare , which means to share or to make common (Weekley, 1967). Communication is defined as the process of understanding and sharing meaning (Pearson & Nelson, 2000).

At the center of our study of communication is the relationship that involves interaction between participants. This definition serves us well with its emphasis on the process, which we’ll examine in depth across this text, of coming to understand and share another’s point of view effectively.

The first keyword in this definition is process . A process is a dynamic activity that is hard to describe because it changes (Pearson & Nelson, 2000). Imagine you are alone in your kitchen thinking. Someone you know (say, your mother) enters the kitchen, and you talk briefly. What has changed? Now, imagine that your mother is joined by someone else, someone you haven’t met before—and this stranger listens intently as you speak, almost as if you were giving a speech. What has changed? Your perspective might change, and you might watch your words more closely. The feedback or response from your mother and the stranger (who are, in essence, your audience) may cause you to reevaluate what you are saying. When we interact, all these factors—and many more—influence the process of communication.

The second keyword is understanding : “To understand is to perceive, to interpret, and to relate our perception and interpretation to what we already know.” (McLean, 2003) If a friend tells you a story about falling off a bike, what image comes to mind? Now your friend points out the window, and you see a motorcycle lying on the ground. Understanding the words and the concepts or objects they refer to is an important part of the communication process.

Next comes the word sharing . Sharing means doing something together with one or more people. You may share a joint activity, as when you share in compiling a report, or you may benefit jointly from a resource, as when you and several coworkers share a pizza. In communication, sharing occurs when you convey thoughts, feelings, ideas, or insights to others. You can also share with yourself (a process called intrapersonal communication) when you bring ideas to consciousness, ponder how you feel about something, or figure out the solution to a problem and have a classic “Aha!” moment when something becomes clear.

Finally, meaning is what we share through communication. The word “bike” represents both a bicycle and a short name for a motorcycle. By looking at the context, the word is used in, and by asking questions, we can discover the shared meaning of the word and understand the message.

Eight Essential Components of Communication

To better understand the communication process, we can break it down into a series of eight essential components:

Environment

Interference.

Each of these eight components serves an integral function in the overall process. Let’s explore them one by one.

The source imagines, creates, and sends the message. In a public speaking situation, the source is the person giving the speech. He or she conveys the message by sharing new information with the audience. The speaker also conveys a message through his or her tone of voice, body language, and choice of clothing. The speaker begins by first determining the message—what to say and how to say it. The second step involves encoding the message by choosing just the right order or the perfect words to convey the intended meaning. The third step is to present or send the information to the receiver or audience. Finally, by watching for the audience’s reaction, the source perceives how well they received the message and responds with clarification or supporting information.

“The message is the stimulus or meaning produced by the source for the receiver or audience.” (McLean, 2005) When you plan to give a speech or write a report, your message may seem to be only the words you choose that will convey your meaning. But that is just the beginning. The words are brought together with grammar and organization. You may choose to save your most important point for last. The message also consists of the way you say it—in a speech, with your tone of voice, your body language, and your appearance—and in a report, with your writing style, punctuation, and the headings and formatting you choose. In addition, part of the message may be the environment or context you present it in and the noise that might make your message hard to hear or see.

Imagine, for example, that you are addressing a large audience of sales reps and are aware there is a World Series game tonight. Your audience might have a hard time settling down, but you may choose to open with, “I understand there is an important game tonight.” In this way, by expressing verbally something that most people in your audience are aware of and interested in, you might grasp and focus their attention.

“The channel is the way in which a message or messages travel between source and receiver.” (McLean, 2005) For example, think of your television. How many channels do you have on your television? Each channel takes up some space, even in a digital world, in the cable or in the signal that brings the message of each channel to your home. Television combines an audio signal you hear with a visual signal you see. Together they convey the message to the receiver or audience. Turn off the volume on your television. Can you still understand what is happening? Many times you can, because the body language conveys part of the message of the show. Now turn up the volume but turn around so that you cannot see the television. You can still hear the dialogue and follow the story line.

Similarly, when you speak or write, you are using a channel to convey your message. Spoken channels include face-to-face conversations, speeches, telephone conversations and voice mail messages, radio, public address systems, and voice over Internet protocol (VoIP). Written channels include letters, memorandums, purchase orders, invoices, newspaper and magazine articles, blogs, e-mail, text messages, tweets, and so forth.

“The receiver receives the message from the source, analyzing and interpreting the message in ways both intended and unintended by the source.” (McLean, 2005) To better understand this component, think of a receiver on a football team. The quarterback throws the football (message) to a receiver, who must see and interpret where to catch the ball. The quarterback may intend for the receiver to “catch” his message in one way, but the receiver may see things differently and miss the football (the intended meaning) altogether.

As a receiver you listen, see, touch, smell, and/or taste to receive a message. Your audience “sizes you up,” much as you might check them out long before you take the stage or open your mouth. The nonverbal responses of your listeners can serve as clues on how to adjust your opening. By imagining yourself in their place, you anticipate what you would look for if you were them. Just as a quarterback plans where the receiver will be in order to place the ball correctly, you too can recognize the interaction between source and receiver in a business communication context. All of this happens at the same time, illustrating why and how communication is always changing.

When you respond to the source, intentionally or unintentionally, you are giving feedback. Feedback is composed of messages the receiver sends back to the source. Verbal or nonverbal, all these feedback signals allow the source to see how well, how accurately (or how poorly and inaccurately) the message was received. Feedback also provides an opportunity for the receiver or audience to ask for clarification, to agree or disagree, or to indicate that the source could make the message more interesting. As the amount of feedback increases, the accuracy of communication also increases (Leavitt & Mueller, 1951).

For example, suppose you are a sales manager participating in a conference call with four sales reps. As the source, you want to tell the reps to take advantage of the fact that it is World Series season to close sales on baseball-related sports gear. You state your message, but you hear no replies from your listeners. You might assume that this means they understood and agreed with you, but later in the month you might be disappointed to find that very few sales were made. If you followed up your message with a request for feedback (“Does this make sense? Do any of you have any questions?”) you might have an opportunity to clarify your message, and to find out whether any of the sales reps believed your suggestion would not work with their customers.

“The environment is the atmosphere, physical and psychological, where you send and receive messages.” (McLean, 2005) The environment can include the tables, chairs, lighting, and sound equipment that are in the room. The room itself is an example of the environment. The environment can also include factors like formal dress, that may indicate whether a discussion is open and caring or more professional and formal. People may be more likely to have an intimate conversation when they are physically close to each other, and less likely when they can only see each other from across the room. In that case, they may text each other, itself an intimate form of communication. The choice to text is influenced by the environment. As a speaker, your environment will impact and play a role in your speech. It’s always a good idea to go check out where you’ll be speaking before the day of the actual presentation.

“The context of the communication interaction involves the setting, scene, and expectations of the individuals involved.” (McLean, 2005) A professional communication context may involve business suits (environmental cues) that directly or indirectly influence expectations of language and behavior among the participants.

A presentation or discussion does not take place as an isolated event. When you came to class, you came from somewhere. So did the person seated next to you, as did the instructor. The degree to which the environment is formal or informal depends on the contextual expectations for communication held by the participants. The person sitting next to you may be used to informal communication with instructors, but this particular instructor may be used to verbal and nonverbal displays of respect in the academic environment. You may be used to formal interactions with instructors as well, and find your classmate’s question of “Hey Teacher, do we have homework today?” as rude and inconsiderate when they see it as normal. The nonverbal response from the instructor will certainly give you a clue about how they perceive the interaction, both the word choices and how they were said.

Context is all about what people expect from each other, and we often create those expectations out of environmental cues. Traditional gatherings like weddings or quinceañeras are often formal events. There is a time for quiet social greetings, a time for silence as the bride walks down the aisle, or the father may have the first dance with his daughter as she is transformed from a girl to womanhood in the eyes of her community. In either celebration there may come a time for rambunctious celebration and dancing. You may be called upon to give a toast, and the wedding or quinceañera context will influence your presentation, timing, and effectiveness.

Context is all about what people expect from each other.

Toshihiro Gamo – Marriage Matrix – CC BY-NC-ND 2.0.

In a business meeting, who speaks first? That probably has some relation to the position and role each person has outside the meeting. Context plays a very important role in communication, particularly across cultures.

Interference, also called noise, can come from any source. “ Interference is anything that blocks or changes the source’s intended meaning of the message.”(McLean, 2005) For example, if you drove a car to work or school, chances are you were surrounded by noise. Car horns, billboards, or perhaps the radio in your car interrupted your thoughts, or your conversation with a passenger.

Psychological noise is what happens when your thoughts occupy your attention while you are hearing, or reading, a message. Imagine that it is 4:45 p.m. and your boss, who is at a meeting in another city, e-mails you asking for last month’s sales figures, an analysis of current sales projections, and the sales figures from the same month for the past five years. You may open the e-mail, start to read, and think, “Great—no problem—I have those figures and that analysis right here in my computer.” You fire off a reply with last month’s sales figures and the current projections attached. Then, at five o’clock, you turn off your computer and go home. The next morning, your boss calls on the phone to tell you he was inconvenienced because you neglected to include the sales figures from the previous years. What was the problem? Interference: by thinking about how you wanted to respond to your boss’s message, you prevented yourself from reading attentively enough to understand the whole message.

Interference can come from other sources, too. Perhaps you are hungry, and your attention to your current situation interferes with your ability to listen. Maybe the office is hot and stuffy. If you were a member of an audience listening to an executive speech, how could this impact your ability to listen and participate?

Noise interferes with normal encoding and decoding of the message carried by the channel between source and receiver. Not all noise is bad, but noise interferes with the communication process. For example, your cell phone ringtone may be a welcome noise to you, but it may interrupt the communication process in class and bother your classmates.

Two Models of Communication

Researchers have observed that when communication takes place, the source and the receiver may send messages at the same time, often overlapping. You, as the speaker, will often play both roles, as source and receiver. You’ll focus on the communication and the reception of your messages to the audience. The audience will respond in the form of feedback that will give you important clues. While there are many models of communication, here we will focus on two that offer perspectives and lessons for business communicators.

Rather than looking at the source sending a message and someone receiving it as two distinct acts, researchers often view communication as a transactional process ( Figure 1.3 “Transactional Model of Communication” ), with actions often happening at the same time. The distinction between source and receiver is blurred in conversational turn-taking, for example, where both participants play both roles simultaneously.

Figure 1.3 Transactional Model of Communication

Researchers have also examined the idea that we all construct our own interpretations of the message. As the State Department quote at the beginning of this chapter indicates, what I said and what you heard may be different. In the constructivist model ( Figure 1.4 “Constructivist Model of Communication” ), we focus on the negotiated meaning, or common ground, when trying to describe communication (Pearce & Cronen, 1980),

Imagine that you are visiting Atlanta, Georgia, and go to a restaurant for dinner. When asked if you want a “Coke,” you may reply, “sure.” The waiter may then ask you again, “what kind?” and you may reply, “Coke is fine.” The waiter then may ask a third time, “what kind of soft drink would you like?” The misunderstanding in this example is that in Atlanta, the home of the Coca-Cola Company, most soft drinks are generically referred to as “Coke.” When you order a soft drink, you need to specify what type, even if you wish to order a beverage that is not a cola or not even made by the Coca-Cola Company. To someone from other regions of the United States, the words “pop,” “soda pop,” or “soda” may be the familiar way to refer to a soft drink; not necessarily the brand “Coke.” In this example, both you and the waiter understand the word “Coke,” but you each understand it to mean something different. In order to communicate, you must each realize what the term means to the other person, and establish common ground, in order to fully understand the request and provide an answer.

Figure 1.4 Constructivist Model of Communication

Because we carry the multiple meanings of words, gestures, and ideas within us, we can use a dictionary to guide us, but we will still need to negotiate meaning.  

Key Takeaway

The communication process involves understanding, sharing, and meaning, and it consists of eight essential elements: source, message, channel, receiver, feedback, environment, context, and interference. Among the models of communication are the transactional process, in which actions happen simultaneously, and the constructivist model, which focuses on shared meaning.

• Draw what you think communication looks like. Share your drawing with your classmates.
• List three environmental cues and indicate how they influence your expectations for communication. Please share your results with your classmates.
• How does context influence your communication? Consider the language and culture people grew up with, and the role these play in communication styles.
• If you could design the perfect date, what activities, places, and/or environmental cues would you include to set the mood? Please share your results with your classmates.
• Observe two people talking. Describe their communication. See if you can find all eight components and provide an example for each one.
• What assumptions are present in transactional model of communication? Find an example of a model of communication in your workplace or classroom, and provide an example for all eight components.

Cronen, V., & Pearce, W. B. (1982). The coordinated management of meaning: A theory of communication. In F. E. Dance (Ed.), Human communication theory (pp. 61–89). New York, NY: Harper & Row.

Leavitt, H., & Mueller, R. (1951). Some effects of feedback on communication. Human Relations, 4 , 401–410.

McLean, S. (2003). The basics of speech communication . Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

McLean, S. (2005). The basics of interpersonal communication (p. 10). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Pearce, W. B., & Cronen, V. (1980). Communication, action, and meaning: The creating of social realities . New York, NY: Praeger.

Pearson, J., & Nelson, P. (2000). An introduction to human communication: Understanding and sharing (p. 6). Boston, MA: McGraw-Hill.

Weekley, E. (1967). An etymological dictionary of modern English (Vol. 1, p. 338). New York, NY: Dover Publications.

Process of understanding and sharing meaning (Pearson & Nelson, 2000).

Introduction to Professional Communication Copyright © 2024 by [Author removed at request of original publisher] is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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2 Introduction to Communication

What is communication, learning objectives.

Upon completing this chapter | module, you should be able to:

• describe the communication process and the eight elements of communication listed.
• categorize given premises as one of the eight elements of communication.

Think about communication in your daily life. When you make a phone call, send a text message, or like a post on Facebook, what is the purpose of that activity? Have you ever felt confused by what someone is telling you or argued over a misunderstood email? The underlying issue may very well be a communication deficiency.

There are many current models and theories that explain, plan, and predict communication processes and their successes or failures. In the workplace, we might be more concerned about practical knowledge and skills than theory. However, good practice is built on a solid foundation of understanding and skill. For this reason this module will help you develop foundational skills in key areas of communication, with a focus on applying theory and providing opportunities for practice.

Defining Communication

The word communication is derived from a Latin word meaning “to share.” Communication can be defined as “purposefully and actively exchanging information between two or more people to convey or receive the intended meanings through a shared system of signs and (symbols)” (“Communication,” 2015, para. 1).

Let us break this definition down by way of example. Imagine you are in a coffee shop with a friend, and they are telling you a story about the first goal they scored in hockey as a child. What images come to mind as you hear their story? Is your friend using words you understand to describe the situation? Are they speaking in long, complicated sentences or short, descriptive sentences? Are they leaning back in their chair and speaking calmly, or can you tell they are excited? Are they using words to describe the events leading up to their big goal, or did they draw a diagram of the rink and positions of the players on a napkin? Did your friend pause and wait for you to to comment throughout their story or just blast right through? Did you have trouble hearing your friend at any point in the story because other people were talking or because the milk steamer in the coffee shop was whistling?

All of these questions directly relate to the considerations for communication in this module:

• Analyzing the Audience
• Choosing a Communications Channel
• Using Plain Language
• Using Visual Aids
• Evaluating Communication via Feedback

Before we examine each of these considerations in more detail, we should consider the elements of the communication process.

The communication process includes the steps we take in order to ensure we have succeeded in communicating. The communication process comprises essential and interconnected elements detailed in the figure above. We will continue to reflect on the story of your friend in the coffee shop to explore each element in detail.

Source: The source comes up with an idea and sends a message in order to share information with others. The source could be one other person or a group of people. In our example above, your friend is trying to share the events leading up to their first hockey goal and, likely, the feelings they had at the time as well.

Message: The message is the information or subject matter the source is intending to share. The information may be an opinion, feelings, instructions, requests, or suggestions. In our example above, your friend identified information worth sharing, maybe the size of one of the defence players on the other team, in order to help you visualize the situation.

Channels: The source may encode information in the form of words, images, sounds, body language, etc. There are many definitions and categories of communication channels to describe their role in the communication process. This module identifies  the following channels: verbal, non-verbal, written, and digital. In our example above, your friends might make sounds or use body language in addition to their words to emphasize specific bits of information. For example, when describing a large defence player on the other team, they may extend their arms to explain the height or girth of the other team’s defence player.

Receiver: The receiver is the person for whom the message is intended. This person is charged with decoding the message in an attempt to understand the intentions of the source. In our example above, you as the receiver may understand the overall concept of your friend scoring a goal in hockey and can envision the techniques your friend used. However, there may also be some information you do not understand—such as a certain term—or perhaps your friend describes some events in a confusing order. One thing the receiver might try is to provide some kind of feedback to communicate back to the source that the communication did not achieve full understanding and that the source should try again.

Environment: The environment is the physical and psychological space in which the communication is happening (Mclean, 2005). It might also describe if the space is formal or informal. In our example above, it is the coffee shop you and your friend are visiting in.

Context: The context is the setting, scene, and psychological and psychosocial expectations of the source and the receiver(s) (McLean, 2005). This is strongly linked to expectations of those who are sending the message and those who are receiving the message. In our example above, you might expect natural pauses in your friend’s storytelling that will allow you to confirm your understanding or ask a question.

Interference: There are many kinds of interference (also called “noise”) that inhibit effective communication. Interference may include poor audio quality or too much sound, poor image quality, too much or too little light, attention, etc. In our working example, the coffee shop might be quite busy and thus very loud. You would have trouble hearing your friend clearly, which in turn might cause you to miss a critical word or phrase important to the story.

Those involved in the communication process move fluidly between each of these eight elements until the process ends.

Key Takeaways and Check Ins

Now that we have defined communication and described a communication process, let’s consider communication skills that are foundational to communicating effectively.

Learning highlights

• The goal of the communication process is to share meaning between a source and a receiver.
• There are eight essential elements in the communication process: source, message, channel, receiver, feedback, environment, context, and interference.

Check Your Understanding

McLean, S. (2005). The basics of interpersonal communication . Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

Communicatio n. (n.d.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication .

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What is effective communication?

Effective communication skill 1: become an engaged listener, skill 2: pay attention to nonverbal signals, skill 3: keep stress in check, skill 4: assert yourself, effective communication.

Want to communicate better? These tips will help you avoid misunderstandings, grasp the real meaning of what’s being communicated, and greatly improve your work and personal relationships.

Effective communication is about more than just exchanging information. It’s about understanding the emotion and intentions behind the information. As well as being able to clearly convey a message, you need to also listen in a way that gains the full meaning of what’s being said and makes the other person feel heard and understood.

Effective communication sounds like it should be instinctive. But all too often, when we try to communicate with others something goes astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustration, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems in your home, school, and work relationships.

For many of us, communicating more clearly and effectively requires learning some important skills. Whether you’re trying to improve communication with your spouse, kids, boss, or coworkers, learning these skills can deepen your connections to others, build greater trust and respect, and improve teamwork, problem solving, and your overall social and emotional health.

What’s stopping you from communicating effectively?

Common barriers to effective communication include:

Stress and out-of-control emotion.  When you’re stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you’re more likely to misread other people, send confusing or off-putting nonverbal signals, and lapse into unhealthy knee-jerk patterns of behavior. To avoid conflict and misunderstandings, you can learn how to quickly calm down before continuing a conversation.

Lack of focus.  You can’t communicate effectively when you’re multitasking. If you’re checking your phone , planning what you’re going to say next, or daydreaming, you’re almost certain to miss nonverbal cues in the conversation. To communicate effectively, you need to avoid distractions and stay focused.

Inconsistent body language.  Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will likely feel that you’re being dishonest. For example, you can’t say “yes” while shaking your head no.

[Read: Nonverbal Communication and Body Language]

Negative body language.  If you disagree with or dislike what’s being said, you might use negative body language to rebuff the other person’s message, such as crossing your arms, avoiding eye contact, or tapping your feet. You don’t have to agree with, or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively and not put the other person on the defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.

When communicating with others, we often focus on what we should say. However, effective communication is less about talking and more about listening. Listening well means not just understanding the words or the information being communicated, but also understanding the emotions the speaker is trying to convey.

There’s a big difference between engaged listening and simply hearing. When you really listen—when you’re engaged with what’s being said—you’ll hear the subtle intonations in someone’s voice that tell you how that person is feeling and the emotions they’re trying to communicate. When you’re an engaged listener, not only will you better understand the other person, you’ll also make that person feel heard and understood, which can help build a stronger, deeper connection between you.

By communicating in this way, you’ll also experience a process that  lowers stress and supports physical and emotional well-being. If the person you’re talking to is calm, for example, listening in an engaged way will help to calm you, too. Similarly, if the person is agitated, you can help calm them by listening in an attentive way and making the person feel understood.

If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an engaged way will often come naturally. If it doesn’t, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will become.

Tips for becoming an engaged listener

Focus fully on the speaker.  You can’t listen in an engaged way if you’re  constantly checking your phone or thinking about something else. You need to stay focused on the moment-to-moment experience in order to pick up the subtle nuances and important nonverbal cues in a conversation. If you find it hard to concentrate on some speakers, try repeating their words over in your head—it’ll reinforce their message and help you stay focused.

Favor your right ear.  As strange as it sounds, the left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for both speech comprehension and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, favoring your right ear can help you better detect the emotional nuances of what someone is saying.

Avoid interrupting or trying to redirect the conversation to your concerns.  By saying something like, “If you think that’s bad, let me tell you what happened to me.” Listening is not the same as waiting for your turn to talk. You can’t concentrate on what someone’s saying if you’re forming what you’re going to say next. Often, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind’s elsewhere.

Show your interest in what’s being said.  Nod occasionally, smile at the person, and make sure your posture is open and inviting. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like “yes” or “uh huh.”

Try to set aside judgment.  In order to communicate effectively with someone, you don’t have to like them or agree with their ideas, values, or opinions. However, you do need to set aside your judgment and withhold blame and criticism in order to fully understand them. The most difficult communication, when successfully executed, can often lead to an unlikely connection with someone.

[Read: Improving Emotional Intelligence (EQ)]

Provide feedback. If there seems to be a disconnect, reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. “What I’m hearing is,” or “Sounds like you are saying,” are great ways to reflect back. Don’t simply repeat what the speaker has said verbatim, though—you’ll sound insincere or unintelligent. Instead, express what the speaker’s words mean to you. Ask questions to clarify certain points: “What do you mean when you say…” or “Is this what you mean?”

Hear the emotion behind the words . It’s the higher frequencies of human speech that impart emotion. You can become more attuned to these frequencies—and thus better able to understand what others are really saying—by exercising the tiny muscles of your middle ear (the smallest in the body). You can do this by singing, playing a wind instrument, or listening to certain types of high-frequency music (a Mozart symphony or violin concerto, for example, rather than low-frequency rock, pop, or hip-hop).

The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person tells them more about how you’re feeling than words alone ever can. Nonverbal communication, or body language, includes facial expressions, body movement and gestures, eye contact, posture, the tone of your voice, and even your muscle tension and breathing.

Developing the ability to understand and use nonverbal communication can help you connect with others, express what you really mean, navigate challenging situations, and build better relationships at home and work.

• You can enhance effective communication by using open body language—arms uncrossed, standing with an open stance or sitting on the edge of your seat, and maintaining eye contact with the person you’re talking to.
• You can also use body language to emphasize or enhance your verbal message—patting a friend on the back while complimenting him on his success, for example, or pounding your fists to underline your message.

Improve how you  read nonverbal communication

Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different nonverbal communication gestures, so it’s important to take age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state into account when reading body language signals. An American teen, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman, for example, are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.

Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Don’t read too much into a single gesture or nonverbal cue. Consider all of the nonverbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language. Anyone can slip up occasionally and let eye contact go, for example, or briefly cross their arms without meaning to. Consider the signals as a whole to get a better “read” on a person.

Improve how you  deliver nonverbal communication

Use nonverbal signals that match up with your words rather than contradict them. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will feel confused or suspect that you’re being dishonest. For example, sitting with your arms crossed and shaking your head doesn’t match words telling the other person that you agree with what they’re saying.

Adjust your nonverbal signals according to the context. The tone of your voice, for example, should be different when you’re addressing a child than when you’re addressing a group of adults. Similarly, take into account the emotional state and cultural background of the person you’re interacting with.

Avoid negative body language. Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings, even when you’re not actually experiencing them. If you’re nervous about a situation—a job interview, important presentation, or first date, for example—you can use positive body language to signal confidence, even though you’re not feeling it. Instead of tentatively entering a room with your head down, eyes averted, and sliding into a chair, try standing tall with your shoulders back, smiling and maintaining eye contact, and delivering a firm handshake. It will make you feel more self-confident and help to put the other person at ease.

How many times have you felt stressed during a disagreement with your spouse, kids, boss, friends, or coworkers and then said or done something you later regretted? If you can quickly relieve stress and return to a calm state, you’ll not only avoid such regrets, but in many cases you’ll also help to calm the other person as well. It’s only when you’re in a calm, relaxed state that you’ll be able to know whether the situation requires a response, or whether the other person’s signals indicate it would be better to remain silent.

In situations such as a job interview, business presentation, high-pressure meeting, or introduction to a loved one’s family, for example, it’s important to manage your emotions, think on your feet, and effectively communicate under pressure.

Communicate effectively by staying calm under pressure

Use stalling tactics to give yourself time to think. Ask for a question to be repeated or for clarification of a statement before you respond.

Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence isn’t necessarily a bad thing—pausing can make you seem more in control than rushing your response.

Make one point and provide an example or supporting piece of information. If your response is too long or you waffle about a number of points, you risk losing the listener’s interest. Follow one point with an example and then gauge the listener’s reaction to tell if you should make a second point.

Deliver your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important as what you say. Speak clearly, maintain an even tone, and make eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.

Wrap up with a summary and then stop. Summarize your response and then stop talking, even if it leaves a silence in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by continuing to talk.

Quick stress relief for effective communication

When a conversation starts to get heated, you need something quick and immediate to bring down the emotional intensity. By learning to quickly reduce stress in the moment, you can safely take stock of any strong emotions you’re experiencing, regulate your feelings, and behave appropriately.

Recognize when you’re becoming stressed. Your body will let you know if you’re stressed as you communicate. Are your muscles or stomach tight? Are your hands clenched? Is your breath shallow? Are you “forgetting” to breathe?

Take a moment to calm down before deciding to continue a conversation or postpone it.

Bring your senses to the rescue. The best way to rapidly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses—sight, sound, touch, taste, smell—or movement. For example, you could pop a peppermint in your mouth, squeeze a stress ball in your pocket, take a few deep breaths, clench and relax your muscles, or simply recall a soothing, sensory-rich image. Each person responds differently to sensory input, so you need to find a coping mechanism that is soothing to you.

[Read: Quick Stress Relief]

Look for humor in the situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to relieve stress when communicating . When you or those around you start taking things too seriously, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or an amusing story.

Be willing to compromise. Sometimes, if you can both bend a little, you’ll be able to find a happy middle ground that reduces the stress levels for everyone concerned. If you realize that the other person cares much more about an issue than you do, compromise may be easier for you and a good investment for the future of the relationship.

Agree to disagree, if necessary, and take time away from the situation so everyone can calm down. Go for a stroll outside if possible, or spend a few minutes meditating. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain your balance can quickly reduce stress.

Find your space for healing and growth

Regain is an online couples counseling service. Whether you’re facing problems with communication, intimacy, or trust, Regain’s licensed, accredited therapists can help you improve your relationship.

Direct, assertive expression makes for clear communication and can help boost your self-esteem and decision-making skills. Being assertive means expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs in an open and honest way, while standing up for yourself and respecting others. It does NOT mean being hostile, aggressive, or demanding. Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not about winning an argument or forcing your opinions on others.

To improve your assertiveness

Value yourself and your options. They are as important as anyone else’s.

Know your needs and wants. Learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others.

Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s  okay to be angry , but you must remain respectful as well.

Receive feedback positively. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes, ask for help when needed.

Learn to say “no.” Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for alternatives so everyone feels good about the outcome.

Developing assertive communication techniques

Empathetic assertion conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, recognize the other person’s situation or feelings, then state your needs or opinion. “I know you’ve been very busy at work, but I want you to make time for us as well.”

Escalating assertion can be employed when your first attempts are not successful. You become increasingly firm as time progresses, which may include outlining consequences if your needs are not met. For example, “If you don’t abide by the contract, I’ll be forced to pursue legal action.”

Practice assertiveness in lower risk situations to help build up your confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice assertiveness techniques on them first.

More Information

• Effective Communication: Improving Your Social Skills - Communicate more effectively, improve your conversation skills, and become more assertive. (AnxietyCanada)
• Core Listening Skills - How to be a better listener. (SucceedSocially.com)
• Effective Communication - How to communicate in groups using nonverbal communication and active listening techniques. (University of Maine)
• Some Common Communication Mistakes - And how to avoid them. (SucceedSocially.com)
• 3aPPa3 – When cognitive demand increases, does the right ear have an advantage? – Danielle Sacchinell | Acoustics.org . (n.d.). Retrieved May 22, 2022, from Link
• How to Behave More Assertively . (n.d.). 10. Weger, H., Castle Bell, G., Minei, E. M., & Robinson, M. C. (2014). The Relative Effectiveness of Active Listening in Initial Interactions.  International Journal of Listening , 28(1), 13–31. Link

More in Communication

How to read body language to build better relationships at home and work

Boost your emotional intelligence to help you be happy and successful

Tips for handling conflicts, arguments, and disagreements

How to feel and respond to the emotions of others

Tips and techniques for getting anger under control

Using laughter and play to resolve disagreements

The 5 Love Languages

What they are and how they influence relationships

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8.4 The Context of Communication

Questions to Consider:

• Does my form of communication change in certain situations?
• Do I use an altered style of talking when I am with different people?
• What role does listening play in communication?

Does My Form of Communication Change in Certain Situations?

The circumstances surrounding a message provide the context. These include the setting you are in, the culture that guides you and whomever you are communicating with, and the purpose of the communication to begin with. Context also includes the values people have, appropriateness of the message, the timing you choose to convey your message, and the reason behind your wanting to communicate. This means considering your audience, the place, the time, and all other variables that impact communicating constructively.

Generally, all communication happens for a reason. When you are communicating with people, are you always on the same wavelength? Are you wide-awake and your roommate almost asleep? Is the baseball game really important to you but totally boring to the person you are talking with? It is important that everyone involved understands the context of the conversation. Is it a party, which lends itself to frivolous banter? Is the conversation about something serious that occurred? What are some of the relevant steps to understanding context? First of all, pay attention to timing. Is there enough time to cover what you are trying to say? Is it the right time to talk to the boss about a raise? What about the location? Should your conversation take place in the elevator, over email, in a chat room? Is everyone in the conversation involved for the same reason?

The following is an activity that might help you understand what is meant by context.

Analysis Question

Consider the context of a family dinner. You are at the table with siblings, cousins, parents, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. A wide variety of age groups are present around the dinner table. Are there any rules about how you behave in this circumstance? What are they?

Then put yourself in the context of a chat room with people you might know and some that you do not know. Are there rules for communicating in that situation? What are they?

Sometimes we have misconceptions about what is going on in a group situation. Perhaps we think that everyone there knows what we are talking about. Or we think we know everyone’s opinions on an issue or situation. Or we come into the conversation already thinking we are right and they are wrong. Communication in these instances can go very wrong. Why? We aren’t listening or even preparing ourselves adequately for the conversation we hope to have. So often we are only concerned about what we have to say to an individual or a group and we don’t step back long enough to reflect on what our message might mean to them. We seem to not care about how the message will be received and are often surprised by how poorly the communication actually went. Why? Because we didn’t step back and think, “Hmmmm, my aunt is a really religious person and probably would be offended by a conversation about sexual intimacy.” Or, “My father is having a bit of financial trouble, and this might not be the right time to bring up money I need for a new car.”

Do I Use an Altered Style of Talking When I Am With Different People?

There are so many instances in our lives when we think about our needs first and blurt out what we are thinking, leading to some critical misunderstandings. It is really important not only to be concerned about our need to communicate, but to take into consideration with whom we are communicating, when and where we are communicating, and how we are going to do so in a positive way. First, you should step back and think about what you want to say and why. Then reflect on with whom you are attempting to communicate.

What Students Say

• In person/face-to-face
• Texting (including texting apps)
• Social media environments
• Understanding the audience/situation and using the best form/tone to fit it
• Speaking in front of a group of people
• Writing papers or reports
• Listening and interpreting
• Coming up with an original idea/thesis/research question
• Finding sources and background information
• Evaluating the quality of sources or data
• Organizing the paper
• Writing/editing the paper
• Writing the bibliography/works cited list

You can also take the anonymous What Students Say surveys to add your voice to this textbook. Your responses will be included in updates.

Students offered their views on these questions, and the results are displayed in the graphs below.

Of the following methods, which is your preferred method of communication?

Which element of communication do you find most challenging?

When writing a paper for a course, which aspect do you find most challenging?

Emotional Intelligence

We’ve talked about emotional intelligence when it comes to listening. Recognizing your own emotions and those of others will help you avoid miscommunication as well. When you are aware of your own emotional state and you have the skills to address and adjust, your communication with others will improve. You’re less likely to blurt out an angry retort to a perceived criticism, for example.

You’re better able to manage communication when you recognize someone else’s emotions, as well. A conversation can veer into hostile territory if someone feels attacked, or perhaps simply because they’ve had an emotional experience related to the conversation that you don’t understand. Taking note of other people’s emotional responses during a conversation and listening and speaking with empathy will help you manage the situation.

When conversations begin to feel heated, it’s a good idea to pause and ask yourself why. If it’s you who are feeling defensive and angry, make an effort to recognize the source of your frustration and try to take a step back, perhaps leaving the conversation until you’re better able to control your emotions and communicate in a way that’s more clearheaded and calm.

If it’s someone else who’s emotional, again, ask yourself why. Can you see reasons that this person may feel attacked, belittled, or usurped? If you can recognize their emotion and address it, you may be able to get the communication back on solid footing.

Think of what context and what communication tool you would consider in the following situations:

• You need to let your professor know you won’t be able to hand in your assignment on time. What will you say, when and where will you say it, and what form of communication will you use and why?
• Your roommate wants to have friends over for a party and you aren’t sure you are up for that. What and how do you tell your roommate?
• The weekend is full of activities, but you are expected home for a family gathering. How do you let your parents know you aren’t coming?

Listening Is a Communication Action

Our communication includes both sending and, especially, receiving messages. Unfortunately, we often don’t take the time to focus on the latter part. Often we are already thinking about what we are going to say next and not listening to what is being said to us. This lack of focus occurs in intense, oppositional discussions, but it can also be common in one-on-one conversations and when someone is confiding in us. When we listen, we need to embrace the concept of empathy, meaning you understand what a person might be feeling, and understand why that person’s actions made sense to them at the time. This way our ideas can be communicated in a way that makes sense to others, and it helps us understand others when they communicate with us.

Even though it is silent, listening is communication. We can often “hear” what is being said but don’t really listen well enough to discern what is meant by the person trying to communicate with us. In order to listen effectively, we should consider it an active process, in the same way we think about speaking or messaging.

So what does active listening entail? There are some strategies you can use to help you become a good listener. First of all, stop talking. You can’t listen if you are talking. Secondly, turn off the television, put your phone in your pocket, silence the music and, if needed, go somewhere quiet, so you can actually focus on what is being said. Next, have empathy for the person talking to you. In other words, don’t begin thinking of ways to answer. Even if someone has a problem (with you or something else), avoid trying to immediately solve it; consider whether the person speaking to you really wants advice or action, or might simply want to be seen and heard. Finally, before you say anything as a reply, repeat what you heard so the other person can confirm that you heard them correctly. You would be amazed at how well these strategies work to help avoid misunderstandings and confusion.

Think about all the times you have gone through a drive-through for food or coffee. The scenario is most often the same, right? You order, let’s say, medium fries, a burger with no cheese or onions, and a large soft drink. You then listen to the person inside the restaurant say back to you, “You want medium fries, a quarter pounder with no cheese or onions, and a large Coke.” If that is the right order, you say yes and move on to pay. This can be seen as active listening on both sides. The following activity can help you reflect on active listening.

This is an activity of self-analysis. As said above, listening and hearing are not the same thing, and the difference can often lead to faulty communication. Think back on a time when your attempt at communicating with someone (face-to-face or online) didn’t go the way you intended. The message you were trying to convey wasn’t received in the way you meant it, and this led to some discord between you and whomever you were “talking” to. Write down what happened. Then think a bit about what could have been done differently. Was the problem yours? Did you send a message that wasn’t very clear? Did the receiver of this message not really “listen” to what you were saying? What got in the way of what should have been just a simple bit of communication between you and someone else?

As said earlier, emotions are frequently involved in communication.It would be nice if everything was logical and everyone was always coming from that place of no emotion. But that’s not how it works in most instances. People have opinions, needs, desires, and outcomes they are looking for; feelings that can be hurt; and differing attitudes. The list could go on and on. What is important is that we need to be aware of our own emotions, and those of others, when attempting to communicate. Consider other people’s feelings as well as your own. Have empathy. And in the midst of trying to do that, listen, don’t just hear!

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communication

Definition of communication

Examples of communication in a sentence.

These examples are programmatically compiled from various online sources to illustrate current usage of the word 'communication.' Any opinions expressed in the examples do not represent those of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback about these examples.

Word History

see communicate

14th century, in the meaning defined at sense 5

Phrases Containing communication

• near field communication
• in communication

Articles Related to communication

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When you just can't talk right now.

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When you’re getting nothing but dead air

Censor vs. Censure

What the [bleep] is the difference?

Dictionary Entries Near communication

communicate

communication engineering

Cite this Entry

“Communication.” Merriam-Webster.com Dictionary , Merriam-Webster, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/communication. Accessed 18 Apr. 2024.

Kids Definition

Kids definition of communication, medical definition, medical definition of communication, legal definition, legal definition of communication, more from merriam-webster on communication.

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Communication Studies

What this handout is about.

This handout describes some steps for planning and writing papers in communication studies courses.

Courses in communication studies combine material from the humanities, fine arts, and social sciences in order to explain how and why people interact in the ways that they do. Within communication studies, there are four different approaches to understanding these interactions. Your course probably falls into one of these four areas of emphasis:

• Interpersonal and organizational communication: Interpersonal communication concerns one-on-one conversations as well as small group behaviors. Organizational communication focuses on large group dynamics.
• Rhetoric: Rhetoric examines persuasion and argumentation in political settings and within social movements.
• Performance studies: Performance studies analyze the relationships among literature, theater, and everyday life.
• Media/film studies: Media and film studies explore the cultural influences and practical techniques of television and film, as well as new technologies.

Understanding your assignment

The content and purpose of your assignments will vary according to what kind of course you are in, so pay close attention to the course description, syllabus, and assignment sheet when you begin to write. If you’d like to learn more about deciphering writing assignments or developing your academic writing, see our Writing Center handouts on these topics. For now, let’s see how a general topic, same-sex friendships, might be treated in each of the different areas. These illustrations are only examples, but you can use them as springboards to help you identify how your course might approach discussing a broad topic.

Interpersonal communication

An interpersonal communication perspective could focus on the verbal and nonverbal differences and similarities between how women communicate with other women and how men communicate with other men. This topic would allow you to explore the ways in which gender affects our behaviors in close relationships.

Organizational communication

Organizational communication would take a less personal approach, perhaps by addressing same-sex friendships in the form of workplace mentoring programs that pair employees of the same sex. This would require you to discuss and analyze group dynamics and effectiveness in the work environment.

A rhetorical analysis could involve comparing and contrasting references to friendship in the speeches of two well-known figures. For instance, you could compare Aristotle’s comments about Plato to Plato’s comments about Aristotle in order to discover more about the relationship between these two men and how each defined their friendship and/or same-sex friendship in general.

Performance studies

A performance approach might involve describing how a literary work uses dramatic conventions to portray same-sex friendships, as well as critiquing how believable those portrayals are. An analysis of the play Waiting for Godot could unpack the lifelong friendship between the two main characters by identifying what binds the men together, how these ties are effectively or ineffectively conveyed to the audience, and what the play teaches us about same-sex friendships in our own lives.

Media and film studies

Finally, a media and film studies analysis might explain the evolution of a same-sex friendship by examining a cinematic text. For example, you could trace the development of the main friendship in the movie Thelma and Louise to discover how certain events or gender stereotypes affect the relationship between the two female characters.

General writing tips

Writing papers in communication studies often requires you to do three tasks common to academic writing: analyze material, read and critique others’ analyses of material, and develop your own argument around that material. You will need to build an original argument (sometimes called a “theory” or “plausible explanation”) about how a communication phenomenon can be better understood. The word phenomenon can refer to a particular communication event, text, act, or conversation. To develop an argument for this kind of paper, you need to follow several steps and include several kinds of information in your paper. (For more information about developing an argument, see our handout on arguments ). First, you must demonstrate your knowledge of the phenomenon and what others have said about it. This usually involves synthesizing previous research or ideas. Second, you must develop your own original perspective, reading, or “take” on the phenomenon and give evidence to support your way of thinking about it. Your “take” on the topic will constitute your “argument,” “theory,” or “explanation.” You will need to write a thesis statement that encapsulates your argument and guides you and the reader to the main point of your paper. Third, you should critically analyze the arguments of others in order to show how your argument contributes to our general understanding of the phenomenon. In other words, you should identify the shortcomings of previous research or ideas and explain how your paper corrects some or all of those deficits. Assume that your audience for your paper includes your classmates as well as your instructor, unless otherwise indicated in the assignment.

Choosing a topic to write about

Your topic might be as specific as the effects of a single word in conversation (such as how the use of the word “well” creates tentativeness in dialogue) or as broad as how the notion of individuality affects our relationships in public and private spheres of human activity. In deciding the scope of your topic, look again at the purpose of the course and the aim of the assignment. Check with your instructor to gauge the appropriateness of your topic before you go too far in the writing process.

Try to choose a topic in which you have some interest or investment. Your writing for communications will not only be about the topic, but also about yourself—why you care about the topic, how it affects you, etc. It is common in the field of communication studies not only to consider why the topic intrigues you, but also to write about the experiences and/or cognitive processes you went through before choosing your topic. Including this kind of introspection helps readers understand your position and how that position affects both your selection of the topic and your analysis within the paper. You can make your argument more persuasive by knowing what is at stake, including both objective research and personal knowledge in what you write.

Using evidence to support your ideas

Your argument should be supported with evidence, which may include, but is not limited to, related studies or articles, films or television programs, interview materials, statistics, and critical analysis of your own making. Relevant studies or articles can be found in such journals as Journal of Communication , Quarterly Journal of Speech , Communication Education , and Communication Monographs . Databases, such as Infotrac and ERIC, may also be helpful for finding articles and books on your topic (connecting to these databases via NC Live requires a UNC IP address or UNC PID). As always, be careful when using Internet materials—check your sources to make sure they are reputable.

Refrain from using evidence, especially quotations, without explicitly and concretely explaining what the evidence shows in your own words. Jumping from quote to quote does not demonstrate your knowledge of the material or help the reader recognize the development of your thesis statement. A good paper will link the evidence to the overall argument by explaining how the two correspond to one another and how that relationship extends our understanding of the communication phenomenon. In other words, each example and quote should be explained, and each paragraph should relate to the topic.

As mentioned above, your evidence and analysis should not only support the thesis statement but should also develop it in ways that complement your paper’s argument. Do not just repeat the thesis statement after each section of your paper; instead, try to tell what that section adds to the argument and what is special about that section when the thesis statement is taken into consideration. You may also include a discussion of the paper’s limitations. Describing what cannot be known or discussed at this time—perhaps because of the limited scope of your project, lack of new research, etc.—keeps you honest and realistic about what you have accomplished and shows your awareness of the topic’s complexity.

Communication studies idiosyncrasies

• Using the first person (I/me) is welcomed in nearly all areas of communication studies. It is probably best to ask your professor to be sure, but do not be surprised if you are required to talk about yourself within the paper as a researcher, writer, and/or subject. Some assignments may require you to write from a personal perspective and expect you to use “I” to express your ideas.
• Always include a Works Cited (MLA) or References list (APA) unless you are told not to. Not giving appropriate credit to those whom you quote or whose ideas inform your argument is plagiarism. More and more communication studies courses are requiring bibliographies and in-text citations with each writing assignment. Ask your professor which citation format (MLA/APA) to use and see the corresponding handbook for citation rules.

You may reproduce it for non-commercial use if you use the entire handout and attribute the source: The Writing Center, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill

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6.1 Principles of Interpersonal Communication

Learning objectives.

• Define interpersonal communication.
• Discuss the functional aspects of interpersonal communication.
• Discuss the cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

In order to understand interpersonal communication, we must understand how interpersonal communication functions to meet our needs and goals and how our interpersonal communication connects to larger social and cultural systems. Interpersonal communication is the process of exchanging messages between people whose lives mutually influence one another in unique ways in relation to social and cultural norms. This definition highlights the fact that interpersonal communication involves two or more people who are interdependent to some degree and who build a unique bond based on the larger social and cultural contexts to which they belong. So a brief exchange with a grocery store clerk who you don’t know wouldn’t be considered interpersonal communication, because you and the clerk are not influencing each other in significant ways. Obviously, if the clerk were a friend, family member, coworker, or romantic partner, the communication would fall into the interpersonal category. In this section, we discuss the importance of studying interpersonal communication and explore its functional and cultural aspects.

Why Study Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication has many implications for us in the real world. Did you know that interpersonal communication played an important role in human evolution? Early humans who lived in groups, rather than alone, were more likely to survive, which meant that those with the capability to develop interpersonal bonds were more likely to pass these traits on to the next generation (Leary, 2001). Did you know that interpersonal skills have a measurable impact on psychological and physical health? People with higher levels of interpersonal communication skills are better able to adapt to stress, have greater satisfaction in relationships and more friends, and have less depression and anxiety (Hargie, 2011). In fact, prolonged isolation has been shown to severely damage a human (Williams & Zadro, 2001). Have you ever heard of the boy or girl who was raised by wolves? There have been documented cases of abandoned or neglected children, sometimes referred to as feral children, who survived using their animalistic instincts but suffered psychological and physical trauma as a result of their isolation (Candland, 1995). There are also examples of solitary confinement, which has become an ethical issue in many countries. In “supermax” prisons, which now operate in at least forty-four states, prisoners spend 22.5 to 24 hours a day in their cells and have no contact with the outside world or other prisoners (Shalev, 2011).

Solitary confinement is common in supermax prisons, where prisoners spend 22.5 to 24 hours a day in their cells.

Jmiller291 – Solitary Confinement, Old Geelong Gaol 7 – CC BY 2.0.

Aside from making your relationships and health better, interpersonal communication skills are highly sought after by potential employers, consistently ranking in the top ten in national surveys (National Association of Colleges and Employers, 2010). Each of these examples illustrates how interpersonal communication meets our basic needs as humans for security in our social bonds, health, and careers. But we are not born with all the interpersonal communication skills we’ll need in life. So in order to make the most out of our interpersonal relationships, we must learn some basic principles.

Think about a time when a short communication exchange affected a relationship almost immediately. Did you mean for it to happen? Many times we engage in interpersonal communication to fulfill certain goals we may have, but sometimes we are more successful than others. This is because interpersonal communication is strategic, meaning we intentionally create messages to achieve certain goals that help us function in society and our relationships. Goals vary based on the situation and the communicators, but ask yourself if you are generally successful at achieving the goals with which you enter a conversation or not. If so, you may already possess a high degree of interpersonal communication competence , or the ability to communicate effectively and appropriately in personal relationships. This chapter will help you understand some key processes that can make us more effective and appropriate communicators. You may be asking, “Aren’t effectiveness and appropriateness the same thing?” The answer is no. Imagine that you are the manager of a small department of employees at a marketing agency where you often have to work on deadlines. As a deadline approaches, you worry about your team’s ability to work without your supervision to complete the tasks, so you interrupt everyone’s work and assign them all individual tasks and give them a bulleted list of each subtask with a deadline to turn each part in to you. You meet the deadline and have effectively accomplished your goal. Over the next month, one of your employees puts in her two-weeks’ notice, and you learn that she and a few others have been talking about how they struggle to work with you as a manager. Although your strategy was effective, many people do not respond well to strict hierarchy or micromanaging and may have deemed your communication inappropriate. A more competent communicator could have implemented the same detailed plan to accomplish the task in a manner that included feedback, making the employees feel more included and heard. In order to be competent interpersonal communicators, we must learn to balance being effective and appropriate.

Functional Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

We have different needs that are met through our various relationships. Whether we are aware of it or not, we often ask ourselves, “What can this relationship do for me?” In order to understand how relationships achieve strategic functions, we will look at instrumental goals, relationship-maintenance goals, and self-presentation goals.

What motivates you to communicate with someone? We frequently engage in communication designed to achieve instrumental goals such as gaining compliance (getting someone to do something for us), getting information we need, or asking for support (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). In short, instrumental talk helps us “get things done” in our relationships. Our instrumental goals can be long term or day to day. The following are examples of communicating for instrumental goals:

• You ask your friend to help you move this weekend (gaining/resisting compliance).
• You ask your coworker to remind you how to balance your cash register till at the end of your shift (requesting or presenting information).
• You console your roommate after he loses his job (asking for or giving support).

When we communicate to achieve relational goals, we are striving to maintain a positive relationship. Engaging in relationship-maintenance communication is like taking your car to be serviced at the repair shop. To have a good relationship, just as to have a long-lasting car, we should engage in routine maintenance. For example, have you ever wanted to stay in and order a pizza and watch a movie, but your friend suggests that you go to a local restaurant and then to the theatre? Maybe you don’t feel like being around a lot of people or spending money (or changing out of your pajamas), but you decide to go along with his or her suggestion. In that moment, you are putting your relational partner’s needs above your own, which will likely make him or her feel valued. It is likely that your friend has made or will also make similar concessions to put your needs first, which indicates that there is a satisfactory and complimentary relationship. Obviously, if one partner always insists on having his or her way or always concedes, becoming the martyr, the individuals are not exhibiting interpersonal-communication competence. Other routine relational tasks include celebrating special occasions or honoring accomplishments, spending time together, and checking in regularly by phone, e-mail, text, social media, or face-to-face communication. The following are examples of communicating for relational goals:

• You organize an office party for a coworker who has just become a US citizen (celebrating/honoring accomplishments).
• You make breakfast with your mom while you are home visiting (spending time together).
• You post a message on your long-distance friend’s Facebook wall saying you miss him (checking in).

Gathering to celebrate a colleague’s birthday is a good way for coworkers to achieve relational goals in the workplace.

Twingly – Happy b-day – CC BY 2.0.

Another form of relational talk that I have found very useful is what I call the DTR talk , which stands for “defining-the-relationship talk” and serves a relationship-maintenance function. In the early stages of a romantic relationship, you may have a DTR talk to reduce uncertainty about where you stand by deciding to use the term boyfriend , girlfriend , or partner . In a DTR talk, you may proactively define your relationship by saying, “I’m glad I’m with you and no one else.” Your romantic interest may respond favorably, echoing or rephrasing your statement, which gives you an indication that he or she agrees with you. The talk may continue on from there, and you may talk about what to call your relationship, set boundaries, or not. It is not unusual to have several DTR talks as a relationship progresses. At times, you may have to define the relationship when someone steps over a line by saying, “I think we should just be friends.” This more explicit and reactive (rather than proactive) communication can be especially useful in situations where a relationship may be unethical, inappropriate, or create a conflict of interest—for example, in a supervisor-supervisee, mentor-mentee, professional-client, or collegial relationship.

We also pursue self-presentation goals by adapting our communication in order to be perceived in particular ways. Just as many companies, celebrities, and politicians create a public image, we desire to present different faces in different contexts. The well-known scholar Erving Goffman compared self-presentation to a performance and suggested we all perform different roles in different contexts (Goffman, 1959). Indeed, competent communicators can successfully manage how others perceive them by adapting to situations and contexts. A parent may perform the role of stern head of household, supportive shoulder to cry on, or hip and culturally aware friend to his or her child. A newly hired employee may initially perform the role of serious and agreeable coworker. Sometimes people engage in communication that doesn’t necessarily present them in a positive way. For example, Haley, the oldest daughter in the television show Modern Family , often presents herself as incapable in order to get her parents to do her work. In one episode she pretended she didn’t know how to crack open an egg so her mom Claire would make the brownies for her school bake sale. Here are some other examples of communicating to meet self-presentation goals:

• As your boss complains about struggling to format the company newsletter, you tell her about your experience with Microsoft Word and editing and offer to look over the newsletter once she’s done to fix the formatting (presenting yourself as competent).
• You and your new college roommate stand in your dorm room full of boxes. You let him choose which side of the room he wants and then invite him to eat lunch with you (presenting yourself as friendly).
• You say, “I don’t know,” in response to a professor’s question even though you have an idea of the answer (presenting yourself as aloof, or “too cool for school”).

“Getting Real”

Image Consultants

The Association of Image Consultants International (AICI) states that appearance, behavior, and communication are the “ABC’s of image.” Many professional image consultants are licensed by this organization and provide a variety of services to politicians, actors, corporate trainers, public speakers, organizations, corporations, and television personalities such as news anchors. [1] Visit the AICI’s website ( http://www.aici.org/About_Image_Consulting/Image_Consulting.htm ) and read about image consulting, including the “How to Choose,” “How to Become,” and “FAQs” sections. Then consider the following questions:

• If you were to hire an image consultant for yourself, what would you have them “work on” for you? Why?
• What communication skills that you’ve learned about in the book so far would be most important for an image consultant to possess?
• Many politicians use image consultants to help them connect to voters and win elections. Do you think this is ethical? Why or why not?

As if managing instrumental, relational, and self-presentation goals isn’t difficult enough when we consider them individually, we must also realize that the three goal types are always working together. In some situations we may privilege instrumental goals over relational or self-presentation goals. For example, if your partner is offered a great job in another state and you decided to go with him or her, which will move you away from your job and social circle, you would be focusing on relational goals over instrumental or self-presentation goals. When you’re facing a stressful situation and need your best friend’s help and call saying, “Hurry and bring me a gallon of gas or I’m going to be late to work!” you are privileging instrumental goals over relational goals. Of course, if the person really is your best friend, you can try to smooth things over or make up for your shortness later. However, you probably wouldn’t call your boss and bark a request to bring you a gallon of gas so you can get to work, because you likely want your boss to see you as dependable and likable, meaning you have focused on self-presentation goals.

The functional perspective of interpersonal communication indicates that we communicate to achieve certain goals in our relationships. We get things done in our relationships by communicating for instrumental goals. We maintain positive relationships through relational goals. We also strategically present ourselves in order to be perceived in particular ways. As our goals are met and our relationships build, they become little worlds we inhabit with our relational partners, complete with their own relationship cultures.

Cultural Aspects of Interpersonal Communication

Aside from functional aspects of interpersonal communication, communicating in relationships also helps establish relationship cultures. Just as large groups of people create cultures through shared symbols (language), values, and rituals, people in relationships also create cultures at a smaller level. Relationship cultures are the climates established through interpersonal communication that are unique to the relational partners but based on larger cultural and social norms. We also enter into new relationships with expectations based on the schemata we have developed in previous relationships and learned from our larger society and culture. Think of relationship schemata as blueprints or plans that show the inner workings of a relationship. Just like a schematic or diagram for assembling a new computer desk helps you put it together, relationship schemata guide us in how we believe our interpersonal relationships should work and how to create them. So from our life experiences in our larger cultures, we bring building blocks, or expectations, into our relationships, which fundamentally connect our relationships to the outside world (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Even though we experience our relationships as unique, they are at least partially built on preexisting cultural norms.

Some additional communicative acts that create our relational cultures include relational storytelling, personal idioms, routines and rituals, and rules and norms. Storytelling is an important part of how we create culture in larger contexts and how we create a uniting and meaningful storyline for our relationships. In fact, an anthropologist coined the term homo narrans to describe the unique storytelling capability of modern humans (Fisher, 1985). We often rely on relationship storytelling to create a sense of stability in the face of change, test the compatibility of potential new relational partners, or create or maintain solidarity in established relationships. Think of how you use storytelling among your friends, family, coworkers, and other relational partners. If you recently moved to a new place for college, you probably experienced some big changes. One of the first things you started to do was reestablish a social network—remember, human beings are fundamentally social creatures. As you began to encounter new people in your classes, at your new job, or in your new housing, you most likely told some stories of your life before—about your friends, job, or teachers back home. One of the functions of this type of storytelling, early in forming interpersonal bonds, is a test to see if the people you are meeting have similar stories or can relate to your previous relationship cultures. In short, you are testing the compatibility of your schemata with the new people you encounter. Although storytelling will continue to play a part in your relational development with these new people, you may be surprised at how quickly you start telling stories with your new friends about things that have happened since you met. You may recount stories about your first trip to the dance club together, the weird geology professor you had together, or the time you all got sick from eating the cafeteria food. In short, your old stories will start to give way to new stories that you’ve created. Storytelling within relationships helps create solidarity, or a sense of belonging and closeness. This type of storytelling can be especially meaningful for relationships that don’t fall into the dominant culture. For example, research on a gay male friendship circle found that the gay men retold certain dramatic stories frequently to create a sense of belonging and to also bring in new members to the group (Jones Jr., 2007).

We also create personal idioms in our relationships (Bell & Healey, 1992). If you’ve ever studied foreign languages, you know that idiomatic expressions like “I’m under the weather today” are basically nonsense when translated. For example, the equivalent of this expression in French translates to “I’m not in my plate today.” When you think about it, it doesn’t make sense to use either expression to communicate that you’re sick, but the meaning would not be lost on English or French speakers, because they can decode their respective idiom. This is also true of idioms we create in our interpersonal relationships. Just as idioms are unique to individual cultures and languages, personal idioms are unique to certain relationships, and they create a sense of belonging due to the inside meaning shared by the relational partners. In romantic relationships, for example, it is common for individuals to create nicknames for each other that may not directly translate for someone who overhears them. You and your partner may find that calling each other “booger” is sweet, while others may think it’s gross. Researchers have found that personal idioms are commonly used in the following categories: activities, labels for others, requests, and sexual references (Bell & Healey, 1992). The recent cultural phenomenon Jersey Shore on MTV has given us plenty of examples of personal idioms created by the friends on the show. GTL is an activity idiom that stands for “gym, tan, laundry”—a common routine for the cast of the show. There are many examples of idioms labeling others, including grenade for an unattractive female, gorilla juice head for a very muscular man, and backpack for a clingy boyfriend/girlfriend or a clingy person at a club. There are also many idioms for sexual references, such as smush , meaning to hook up / have sex, and smush room , which is the room set aside for these activities (Benigno, 2010). Idioms help create cohesiveness, or solidarity in relationships, because they are shared cues between cultural insiders. They also communicate the uniqueness of the relationship and create boundaries, since meaning is only shared within the relationship.

Routines and rituals help form relational cultures through their natural development in repeated or habitual interaction (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). While “routine” may connote boring in some situations, relationship routines are communicative acts that create a sense of predictability in a relationship that is comforting. Some communicative routines may develop around occasions or conversational topics.

For example, it is common for long-distance friends or relatives to schedule a recurring phone conversation or for couples to review the day’s events over dinner. When I studied abroad in Sweden, my parents and I talked on the phone at the same time every Sunday, which established a comfortable routine for us. Other routines develop around entire conversational episodes. For example, two best friends recounting their favorite spring-break story may seamlessly switch from one speaker to the other, finish each other’s sentences, speak in unison, or gesture simultaneously because they have told the story so many times. Relationship rituals take on more symbolic meaning than do relationship routines and may be variations on widely recognized events—such as birthdays, anniversaries, Passover, Christmas, or Thanksgiving—or highly individualized and original. Relational partners may personalize their traditions by eating mussels and playing Yahtzee on Christmas Eve or going hiking on their anniversary. Other rituals may be more unique to the relationship, such as celebrating a dog’s birthday or going to opening day at the amusement park. The following highly idiosyncratic ritual was reported by a participant in a research study:

I would check my husband’s belly button for fuzz on a daily basis at bedtime. It originated when I noticed some blanket fuzz in his belly button one day and thought it was funny…We both found it funny and teased often about the fuzz. If there wasn’t any fuzz for a few days my husband would put some in his belly button for me to find. It’s been happening for about 10 years now (Bruess & Pearson, 1997).

A couple may share a relationship routine of making dinner together every Saturday night.

Free Stock Photos – Cooking – public domain.

Whether the routines and rituals involve phone calls, eating certain foods, or digging for belly button fuzz, they all serve important roles in building relational cultures. However, as with storytelling, rituals and routines can be negative. For example, verbal and nonverbal patterns to berate or belittle your relational partner will not have healthy effects on a relational culture. Additionally, visiting your in-laws during the holidays loses its symbolic value when you dislike them and comply with the ritual because you feel like you have to. In this case, the ritual doesn’t enrich the relational culture, but it may reinforce norms or rules that have been created in the relationship.

Relationship rules and norms help with the daily function of the relationship. They help create structure and provide boundaries for interacting in the relationship and for interacting with larger social networks (Burleson, Metts, & Kirch, 2000). Relationship rules are explicitly communicated guidelines for what should and should not be done in certain contexts. A couple could create a rule to always confer with each other before letting their child spend the night somewhere else. If a mother lets her son sleep over at a friend’s house without consulting her partner, a more serious conflict could result. Relationship norms are similar to routines and rituals in that they develop naturally in a relationship and generally conform to or are adapted from what is expected and acceptable in the larger culture or society. For example, it may be a norm that you and your coworkers do not “talk shop” at your Friday happy-hour gathering. So when someone brings up work at the gathering, his coworkers may remind him that there’s no shop talk, and the consequences may not be that serious. In regards to topic of conversation, norms often guide expectations of what subjects are appropriate within various relationships. Do you talk to your boss about your personal finances? Do you talk to your father about your sexual activity? Do you tell your classmates about your medical history? In general, there are no rules that say you can’t discuss any of these topics with anyone you choose, but relational norms usually lead people to answer “no” to the questions above. Violating relationship norms and rules can negatively affect a relationship, but in general, rule violations can lead to more direct conflict, while norm violations can lead to awkward social interactions. Developing your interpersonal communication competence will help you assess your communication in relation to the many rules and norms you will encounter.

Key Takeaways

• Getting integrated: Interpersonal communication occurs between two or more people whose lives are interdependent and mutually influence one another. These relationships occur in academic, professional, personal, and civic contexts, and improving our interpersonal communication competence can also improve our physical and psychological health, enhance our relationships, and make us more successful in our careers.

There are functional aspects of interpersonal communication.

• We “get things done” in our relationships by communicating for instrumental goals such as getting someone to do something for us, requesting or presenting information, and asking for or giving support.
• We maintain our relationships by communicating for relational goals such as putting your relational partner’s needs before your own, celebrating accomplishments, spending time together, and checking in.
• We strategically project ourselves to be perceived in particular ways by communicating for self-presentation goals such as appearing competent or friendly.

There are cultural aspects of interpersonal communication.

• We create relationship cultures based on the relationship schemata we develop through our interactions with our larger society and culture.
• We engage in relationship storytelling to create a sense of stability in the face of change, to test our compatibility with potential relational partners, and to create a sense of solidarity and belonging in established relationships.
• We create personal idioms such as nicknames that are unique to our particular relationship and are unfamiliar to outsiders to create cohesiveness and solidarity.
• We establish relationship routines and rituals to help establish our relational culture and bring a sense of comfort and predictability to our relationships.
• Getting integrated: In what ways might interpersonal communication competence vary among academic, professional, and civic contexts? What competence skills might be more or less important in one context than in another?
• Recount a time when you had a DTR talk. At what stage in the relationship was the talk? What motivated you or the other person to initiate the talk? What was the result of the talk?
• Pick an important relationship and describe its relationship culture. When the relationship started, what relationship schemata guided your expectations? Describe a relationship story that you tell with this person or about this person. What personal idioms do you use? What routines and rituals do you observe? What norms and rules do you follow?

Bell, R. A. and J. G. Healey, “Idiomatic Communication and Interpersonal Solidarity in Friends’ Relational Cultures,” Human Communication Research 18 (1992): 307–35.

Benigno, A., “Jersey Shore Glossary: This Dictionary of Terms Will Get You (Fist) Pumped for Season Two,” N.Y. Daily News , July 28, 2010, http://articles.nydailynews.com/2010-07-28/entertainment/27071281_1_jersey-shore-fist-pump-snooki .

Bruess, C. J. S. and Judy C. Pearson, “Interpersonal Rituals in Marriage and Adult Friendship,” Communication Monographs 64, no. 1 (1997): 35.

Burleson, B. R., Sandra Metts, and Michael W. Kirch, “Communication in Close Relationships,” in Close Relationships: A Sourcebook , eds. Clyde Hendrick and Susan S. Hendrick (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage, 2000), 247.

Candland, D. K., Feral Children and Clever Animals: Reflections on Human Nature (New York: Oxford University Press, 1995).

Fisher, W. R., “Narration as Human Communication Paradigm: The Case of Public Moral Argument,” Communication Monographs 51, no. 1 (1985): 1–22.

Goffman, E., The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life (New York: Anchor Books, 1959).

Hargie, O., Skilled Interpersonal Interaction: Research, Theory, and Practice (London: Routledge, 2011), 2.

Jones Jr., R. G., “Drag Queens, Drama Queens, and Friends: Drama and Performance as a Solidarity Building Function in a Gay Male Friendship Circle,” Kaleidoscope: A Graduate Journal of Qualitative Communication Research 6, no. 1 (2007): 61–84.

Leary, M. R., “Toward a Conceptualization of Interpersonal Rejection,” in Interpersonal Rejection , ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 3–20.

National Association of Colleges and Employers, Job Outlook 2011 (2010): 25.

Shalev, S., “Solitary Confinement and Supermax Prisons: A Human Rights and Ethical Analysis,” Journal of Forensic Psychology Practice 11, no. 2 (2011): 151.

Williams, K. D. and Lisa Zadro, “Ostracism: On Being Ignored, Excluded, and Rejected,” in Interpersonal Rejection , ed. Mark R. Leary (New York: Oxford University Press, 2001), 21–54.

• “About Image Consulting,” Association of Image Consultants International webpage, accessed June 3, 2011, http://www.aici.org/About_Image_Consulting/Image_Consulting.htm . ↵

Communication in the Real World Copyright © 2016 by University of Minnesota is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License , except where otherwise noted.

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• Communication

What is Communication?

The English word ‘communication’ is derived from the Latin communis, which means common sense. The word communication means sharing the same ideas. In other words, the transmission and interaction of facts, ideas, opinions, feelings or attitudes. Communication is the essence of management. The basic function of management (planning, planning, staffing, supervision and management) cannot be done effectively without effective communication.

Communication is a two-way process which involves transferring of information or messages from one person or group to another. This process goes on and includes a minimum of one sender and receiver to pass on the messages. These messages can either be any ideas, imagination, emotions, or thoughts.

Communication is a Latin word which means “to share”. There are different modes of communication available today. These include emails, chats, WhatsApp, skype (conference calls), etc. Effective communication makes people’s work easier and smooth. 

Communication Process

Communication is an ongoing process that mainly involves three components namely. sender, message, and recipient. The components involved in the communication process are described below in detail:

The sender or contact generates the message and transmits it to the recipient. He is the source and the first contact

It is an idea, knowledge, opinion, truth, feeling, etc. produced by the sender and intended for reference.

The message produced by the sender is encrypted in a symbolic way such as words, pictures, touches, etc. before transfer.

This is how the coded message is conveyed. The message can be conveyed orally or in writing. 

It is a process of modifying the signals sent by the sender. After recording the message is received by the recipient.

You are the last person in the chain and the message you sent was sent. If the recipient receives the message and understands it correctly and acts on the message, only then the purpose of the communication is achieved.

Once the recipient confirms to the sender that you received the message and understood it, the communication process is complete.

Refers to any restrictions caused by the sender, message or recipient during the communication process. For example, incorrect telephone connection, incorrect coding, incorrect recording, careless recipient, incorrect understanding of message due to discrimination or inappropriate touch, etc.

Types of Communication

Verbal Communication and Non-Communication

Verbal communication: 

Communication occurs through verbal, verbal or written communication that conveys or conveys a message to others is called oral communication. Verbal communication is the use of language to convey information verbally or in sign language.Verbal communication is important because it works well. It can be helpful to support verbal Non-verbal communication Any non-verbal communication, spoken words, conversation and written language ​​is called.

Non-verbal communication: 

It occurs with signs, symbols, colors, touches, body or facial features. Insignificant communication is using body language, body language and facial expressions to convey information to others. It can be used both intentionally and deliberately. For example, you may have a smile on your face when you hear an idea or a piece of interesting or exciting information. Open communication is helpful when you are trying to understand the thoughts and feelings of others.

Mode Of Communication

Formal Communication:

Formal Communication refers to communication that takes place through legal channels in an organization. That kind of communication takes place between managers or employees of the same class or between high and low and vice versa. It may be oral or written but a complete record of that communication is kept in the organization.

Informal Communication:

Informal communication is defined as any communication that occurs outside of the official channels of communication. Informal communication is often referred to as the ‘vine’ as it spreads throughout the organization and on all sides regardless of the level of authority.

Few Communication Barriers

One sometimes wants to connect with one thing, but he is actually saying something else that he did not intend. This type of event in communication behaviour is known as the “Arc of Distortion”. The distortion may be the result of some error in any of the communication channels. These barriers to communication are also known as “barriers”.

Some of the barriers to communication:

 Lack of proper style, feedback.

Content is not related to customer requirements.

Failure to maintain dual communication.

Bad weather.

Lack of horizontal flow of ideas.

Availability of technical coordinators.

Semantic Problems.

Lack of leadership.

Lack of enthusiasm.

Lack of support from heads of institutions.

Importance of Communication

Communication Foundation:

The manager explains to the employees the goals of the organization, the methods of their success and the interpersonal relationships between them. This provides communication between the various staff and departments. Therefore, communication serves as the basis for collaboration in the organization.

Functional:

The manager coordinates the individual and physical aspects of the organization in order to run it efficiently and effectively. This integration is not possible without proper communication.

The Basis for Making Decisions:

Good communication provides information to the manager that helps them make decisions. No decisions could have been made without knowledge. Thus, communication is the basis for making the right decisions.

Improves Management Ability:

The manager transfers targets and issues instructions and assigns tasks to subordinates. All of these factors are involved.

Communication plays a vital part in building up a strong relationship across the world, either in organisational structure or outside of it. It is an essential pillar for people in sharing the ideas, delegating responsibilities, management of a team, building up a healthy relationship, etc. Effective communication is necessary for managers in the organisation for planning, organising, leading and controlling. Managers of the organisation are dedicated enough in communicating throughout the day in various tasks performances. They spent the whole time communicating face-to-face or over the phone to their colleagues, subordinates and the clients. Managers also use written communication in the form of Emails, memos, daily reports and so on. Effective communication is a successful building block of the organisational structure.

Here The Importance of Communication Can Be Briefed As Follows

Good communication encourages motivational skills. 

It is a mode of information in the decision-making process.

Communication emphasises socialising within or outside the organisational structure. 

It helps in controlling the process. Employees have to follow the organisation rule, code of conduct and other company policies.

There are four types of communication . It is categorised into verbal, non-verbal, written and visual.

Verbal communication is one of the modes where people communicate or transfer information through words. It is one of the common and usual types and frequently used during one on one presentations, video calls or conferences, meetings, phone calls etc. 

There Are Certain Measures Which Enhance This More Effectively

Firm and Confident Voice:  

Firm and confident communication reflects the personality of the person. It gives more certainty of completing any task. So always be confident so that your ideas are more precise and specific.

Active listening:  

A good listener always tends to listen to everyone’s perspective or viewpoints. Active listening helps in identifying each one’s problem or thoughts in a more clear way.

Ignore Filler Words:  

While giving a presentation, avoid using filler words such as yeah, like, so, etc. It might be distracting to your audiences. Try not to use them in official conferences or meetings. 

Non-verbal communication is the use of body language. It includes body gestures, facial expression, and shaking hands, etc.. For example: How you sit during an interview automatically reflects your body language. If they are indicating closed body language like closed arms, bent shoulders, shaking legs, etc., they might be nervous, low in confidence, surrounded with anxiety, etc. Non-verbal communication is the most powerful communication to understand others’ thoughts and emotions. 

Here are Certain Categories Where Non-Verbal Communication are Briefed Up

Positive Body Language: Always carry a positive body language where you can carry your confidence for performing any task. This type of communication gives support to your verbal talks and makes you more open to any kind of jobs. 

Imitate non-verbal communication you find useful: Some facial expression or body language can be found helpful in an interview. If an interviewer has positively nodded his head, it gives a clear positive sign in a closed way, i.e. non-verbal communication.

It is the form of communication that involves writing, typing and printing symbols, letters, etc. It is used in Emails, chats, etc. which are the common techniques of using it in the workplace. Whereas it also furnishes a record of all docs in one place and keeps a systematic account of it.

Here Are Certain Categories Where Written Communication is Briefed Up

Aim for Simplicity:  

Any type of written communications should be in a simple format and clear. It helps audiences to understand and provides more transparency on information which you're providing. 

Reviewing:  

Whenever you're writing, always review your emails, letters or memos before sending it. Reviewing helps to find the mistakes or opportunities to present something distinct. 

Be Careful of Written Tone:  

Since this is not a mode of verbal or non-verbal communication, always be cautious and have a polite tone while writing.  

Keep the Written Files if You Find it Useful:  

If you received the memo or email which you’re finding helpful or interesting, you could save that template for further references to use it in future writing for improving your written communication.

Visualizing is a form of communication where one can use photographs, drawing charts and graphs to convey information through it. It helps in furnishing the right information through graphics and visuals during office presentation (along with verbal and written). 

Here are Certain Steps Which Help in Visual Communication Skills

Taking Advice Before Going with Visuals:  

Visual communication includes presentation or emails. Always ask for other’s advice if any mistake can be rectified. 

Targeting Audience:  

Always put those visuals in presentation or emails that can be understood by everyone quickly. If you are giving a presentation on any data or chart which is not familiar to the audience, you need to explain it clearly. There shouldn’t be any usage of offensive visuals.

Barriers in Communication

There are certain barriers which create hindrance in building up communication over the time period.

Personal Barriers:

Communication takes place between receiver and sender. It’s a two-way process which should be clear. In case message formation went wrong, it gives a wrong and unclear message to the recipient. The receiver might get the wrong perspective while receiving a message. Therefore the message should be written effortlessly.  

Systematic Barrier:

 If any machine or electronic errors occur by any means or in any unforeseen situation, it may affect the importance of communication.

Flow of Communication

An organisation follows the five flow of communications: 

Downward Flow: 

In this, communication flows from the higher level to lower level, i.e. communication carried out by the head of the organisation to the subordinates like providing feedback, giving job instructions etc. 

Upward Flow: 

Communication which flows to the higher level of the organisation is upward communication. Subordinates use upward flow to transfer their grievances and performances to their seniors. 

Lateral/Horizontal Communication:  

It takes place where communication happens between the same level of the hierarchy that is communication between colleagues, managers or between any horizontally equivalent members of the organisation. It benefits employees to perform coordination among the tasks, time-saving, solving problems of employees of other departments or conflicts within the department. 

Diagonal Communication:  

Communication which takes place between the manager and employee of other work departments is known as diagonal communication. 

External Communication: 

Communication which takes place between the manager and external group likes vendors, suppliers, banks, financial institutions and many more. For example, the Managing Director would be meeting with the bank manager to get the bank loan or some other financial work.

FAQs on Communication

1. What Are The Communication Styles?

Communication styles include:

Passive-aggressive

2. Define The Process of Communication?

Process of the communication comprises five systems, i.e. a sender, the encoding of the message, selecting of a channel of communication, receipt of the message by the receiver and decoding of the message. 

3. What is The Most Important Part of Communication?

Feedback is a vital part of communication. It can only be successful when feedback is given properly. This fulfils the space of communication. 

4. What is Assertive Communication?

Assertive communication is known to execute positive and negative emotions in a direct form of expression. 

5. Name the Three C’s of Assertive Communication.

Given below are the C’s of assertive communication:

CONFIDENCE: Having confidence in terms of solving any problems.

CLEAR: Sending the clear message which is clear to understand to the audiences. 

CONTROLLED: Delivering information or message in a controlled or peaceful manner.

8 Ways You Can Improve Your Communication Skills

Your guide to establishing better communication habits for success in the workplace.

Mary Sharp Emerson

A leader’s ability to communicate clearly and effectively with employees, within teams, and across the organization is one of the foundations of a successful business.

And in today’s complex and quickly evolving business environment, with hundreds of different communication tools, fully or partially remote teams, and even multicultural teams spanning multiple time zones, effective communication has never been more important — or more challenging.

Thus, the ability to communicate might be a manager’s most critical skill. 

The good news is that these skills can be learned and even mastered. 

These eight tips can help you maximize your communication skills for the success of your organization and your career.

1. Be clear and concise

Communication is primarily about word choice. And when it comes to word choice, less is more.

The key to powerful and persuasive communication — whether written or spoken — is clarity and, when possible, brevity. 

Before engaging in any form of communication, define your goals and your audience. 

Outlining carefully and explicitly what you want to convey and why will help ensure that you include all necessary information. It will also help you eliminate irrelevant details. 

Avoid unnecessary words and overly flowery language, which can distract from your message.

And while repetition may be necessary in some cases, be sure to use it carefully and sparingly. Repeating your message can ensure that your audience receives it, but too much repetition can cause them to tune you out entirely. 

2. Prepare ahead of time

Know what you are going to say and how you are going to say before you begin any type of communication.

However, being prepared means more than just practicing a presentation. 

Preparation also involves thinking about the entirety of the communication, from start to finish. Research the information you may need to support your message. Consider how you will respond to questions and criticisms. Try to anticipate the unexpected.

Before a performance review, for instance, prepare a list of concrete examples of your employee’s behavior to support your evaluation.

Before engaging in a salary or promotion negotiation, know exactly what you want. Be ready to discuss ranges and potential compromises; know what you are willing to accept and what you aren’t. And have on hand specific details to support your case, such as relevant salaries for your position and your location (but be sure that your research is based on publicly available information, not company gossip or anecdotal evidence). 

Before entering into any conversation, brainstorm potential questions, requests for additional information or clarification, and disagreements so you are ready to address them calmly and clearly.

3. Be mindful of nonverbal communication

Our facial expressions, gestures, and body language can, and often do, say more than our words. 

Nonverbal cues can have between 65 and 93 percent more impact than the spoken word. And we are more likely to believe the nonverbal signals over spoken words if the two are in disagreement. 

Leaders must be especially adept at reading nonverbal cues. 

Employees who may be unwilling to voice disagreements or concerns, for instance, may show their discomfort through crossed arms or an unwillingness to make eye contact. If you are aware of others’ body language, you may be able to adjust your communication tactics appropriately.

At the same time, leaders must also be able to control their own nonverbal communications. 

Your nonverbal cues must, at all times, support your message. At best, conflicting verbal and nonverbal communication can cause confusion. At worst, it can undermine your message and your team’s confidence in you, your organization, and even in themselves. 

4. Watch your tone

How you say something can be just as important as what you say. As with other nonverbal cues, your tone can add power and emphasis to your message, or it can undermine it entirely.

Tone can be an especially important factor in workplace disagreements and conflict. A well-chosen word with a positive connotation creates good will and trust. A poorly chosen word with unclear or negative connotations can quickly lead to misunderstanding. 

When speaking, tone includes volume, projection, and intonation as well as word choice. In real time, it can be challenging to control tone to ensure that it matches your intent. But being mindful of your tone will enable you to alter it appropriately if a communication seems to be going in the wrong direction.

Tone can be easier to control when writing. Be sure to read your communication once, even twice, while thinking about tone as well as message. You may even want to read it out loud or ask a trusted colleague to read it over, if doing so does not breach confidentiality. 

And when engaging in a heated dialogue over email or other written medium, don’t be too hasty in your replies. 

If at all possible, write out your response but then wait for a day or two to send it. In many cases, re-reading your message after your emotions have cooled allows you to moderate your tone in a way that is less likely to escalate the conflict.

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5. Practice active listening

Communication nearly always involves two or more individuals.

Therefore, listening is just as important as speaking when it comes to communicating successfully. But listening can be more challenging than we realize. 

In her blog post Mastering the Basics of Communication , communication expert Marjorie North notes that we only hear about half of what the other person says during any given conversation. 

The goal of active listening is to ensure that you hear not just the words the person is saying, but the entire message. Some tips for active listening include:

• Giving the speaker your full and undivided attention
• Clearing your mind of distractions, judgements, and counter-arguments. 
• Avoiding the temptation to interrupt with your own thoughts.
• Showing open, positive body language to keep your mind focused and to show the speaker that you are really listening
• Rephrase or paraphrase what you’ve heard when making your reply
• Ask open ended questions designed to elicit additional information

6. Build your emotional intelligence

Communication is built upon a foundation of emotional intelligence. Simply put, you cannot communicate effectively with others until you can assess and understand your own feelings. 

“If you’re aware of your own emotions and the behaviors they trigger, you can begin to manage these emotions and behaviors,” says Margaret Andrews in her post, How to Improve Your Emotional Intelligence .

Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence will naturally find it easier to engage in active listening, maintain appropriate tone, and use positive body language, for example.  

Understanding and managing your own emotions is only part of emotional intelligence. The other part — equally important for effective communication — is empathy for others.

Empathizing with an employee can, for example, make a difficult conversation easier. 

You may still have to deliver bad news, but (actively) listening to their perspective and showing that you understand their feelings can go a long way toward smoothing hurt feelings or avoiding misunderstandings.

7. Develop a workplace communication strategy

Today’s workplace is a constant flow of information across a wide variety of formats. Every single communication must be understood in the context of that larger flow of information.

Even the most effective communicator may find it difficult to get their message across without a workplace communication strategy.

A communication strategy is the framework within which your business conveys and receives information. It can — and should — outline how and what you communicate to customers and clients, stakeholders, and managers and employees. 

Starting most broadly, your strategy should incorporate who gets what message and when. This ensures that everyone receives the correct information at the right time. 

It can be as detailed as how you communicate, including defining the type of tools you use for which information. For example, you may define when it’s appropriate to use a group chat for the entire team or organization or when a meeting should have been summarized in an email instead. 

Creating basic guidelines like this can streamline the flow of information. It will help ensure that everyone gets the details they need and that important knowledge isn’t overwhelmed by extraneous minutia. 

8. Create a positive organizational culture

The corporate culture in which you are communicating also plays a vital role in effective communication. 

In a positive work environment — one founded on transparency, trust, empathy, and open dialogue — communication in general will be easier and more effective. 

Employees will be more receptive to hearing their manager’s message if they trust that manager. And managers will find it easier to create buy-in and even offer constructive criticism if they encourage their employees to speak up, offer suggestions, and even offer constructive criticisms of their own. 

“The most dangerous organization is a silent one,” says Lorne Rubis in a blog post, Six Tips for Building a Better Workplace Culture . Communication, in both directions, can only be effective in a culture that is built on trust and a foundation of psychological safety.

Authoritative managers who refuse to share information, aren’t open to suggestions, and refuse to admit mistakes and accept criticism are likely to find their suggestions and criticisms met with defensiveness or even ignored altogether. 

Without that foundation of trust and transparency, even the smallest communication can be misconstrued and lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflict.

Communicating with co-workers and employees is always going to present challenges. There will always be misunderstandings and miscommunications that must be resolved and unfortunately, corporate messages aren’t always what we want to hear, especially during difficult times.

But building and mastering effective communication skills will make your job easier as a leader, even during difficult conversations. Taking the time to build these skills will certainly be time well-spent. 

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About the Author

Digital Content Producer

Emerson is a Digital Content Producer at Harvard DCE. She is a graduate of Brandeis University and Yale University and started her career as an international affairs analyst. She is an avid triathlete and has completed three Ironman triathlons, as well as the Boston Marathon.

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What are Communication Skills? A Comprehensive Guide

Unveiling the Art of Communication Skills: Dive into the essence of what they are, how to enhance them, and why they're crucial. Explore real-life examples, tips for effective communication, and their significance in job interviews. This journey equips you with the knowledge to excel in the world of communication.

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Table of Contents

1) What are Communication Skills?  

2) How to improve your Communication Skills? 

3) Why do you require Communication Skills?  

4) Examples of Communication Skills  

5)  How to communicate effectively?  

6) Communication Skills in job interviews 

7) Conclusion  

What are Communication Skills?  

Communication Skills are the abilities and techniques used to exchange information, ideas, and feelings effectively. It involves expressing yourself clearly, listening actively, understanding non-verbal cues, and adapting communication to different situations. Strong Communication Skills enable individuals to build positive relationships, collaborate effectively, resolve conflicts, and convey messages with impact .   

Communication Skills encompass verbal and non-verbal communication and proficiency in various digital platforms like email and social media. By enhancing your Communication Skills, you can better understand others, work together successfully, and quickly achieve your business goals. For example, when you share your thoughts on a topic, you want to be persuasive and make an impact. Keeping others updated on project progress is essential for transparency and keeping everyone in the loop. It's also helpful to express your feelings in a respectful way to create a positive work environment.   

Points to consider:  

a) Business Communication isn't limited to face-to-face or phone conversations. 

b) Being comfortable with digital tools like Social Media and Email is essential for effective remote collaboration and networking.   

c) Good business communication involves listening, observing, and understanding others. It builds trust, improves teamwork, and leads to successful negotiations.

Learn real-world Communication Skills that can be applied in the organisation by registering for our Communication Skills Training . Register now! 

How to improve your Communication Skills? 

The following tips will tell you all about How to Improve Your Communication Skills. 

Consider your audience 

Effective Communication begins with understanding your audience. Take the time to assess who you are communicating with. Consider their background, expertise, interests, and expectations. Whether you are speaking to a colleague, a client, or a group of employees, tailoring your message to align with their needs and preferences is crucial. By doing so, you can ensure that your message resonates more effectively and is more likely to be well-received. 

Think about the most effective way to convey your message  

Communication is not one-size-fits-all. Different situations call for different approaches. Reflect on the message you want to convey and the context in which you are communicating. Should you send an email, schedule a face-to-face meeting, or pick up the phone? Consider the urgency of the message, the complexity of the topic, and the preferences of your audience. Choosing the right communication channel and style enhances the chances of your message being understood and acted upon. 

Encourage participation 

Effective Communication is a dialogue, not a monologue. Encourage participation by creating an open and inclusive atmosphere. Invite questions, feedback, and input from others. Actively listen to their responses, showing that you value their perspective. When people feel heard and included, they are more likely to engage with your message and contribute meaningfully to the conversation. This participatory approach can lead to better collaboration and problem-solving. 

Leverage face-to-face contact 

While digital communication tools offer convenience, there's no substitute for face-to-face interactions when it comes to building trust and conveying complex messages. Whenever possible, engage in in-person conversations, especially for important or sensitive topics. Being physically present allows you to pick up on cues like body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions, which can provide valuable context and enhance understanding. 

Make eye contact 

Eye contact is a powerful non-verbal communication tool. When you maintain appropriate eye contact during a conversation, you signal to the other person that you are engaged, focused, and attentive. It conveys confidence and sincerity, helping to establish a connection. However, be mindful not to overdo it, as overly intense or prolonged eye contact can make others uncomfortable. Striking the right balance is key. 

Recognise non-verbal cues 

Effective Communication goes beyond words. Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures. These subtle signals can provide valuable insights into the emotions and reactions of others. Being attuned to these cues allows you to adjust your communication approach in real-time. For instance, if someone appears confused, you can offer clarification, and if they seem agitated, you can take a more empathetic and soothing tone. 

Reduce interruptions 

To ensure that your message is received and understood, it's important to minimise distractions and interruptions during conversations. Give your full attention to the person you are communicating with. This not only demonstrates respect for their time and ideas but also promotes a more focused and productive exchange of information. Turn off notifications on your devices, close unnecessary tabs or documents, and create an environment conducive to meaningful Communication. By doing so, you create a space where ideas can flow freely and without disruption. 

Why do you require Communication Skills ?

Communication Skills are necessary because they help us effectively share information, understand others, and build connections. They play a vital role in professional relationships, education, and work. Good Communication enables clear expression, active listening, and collaboration. It improves understanding, resolves conflicts and enhances leadership. Developing Communication Skills leads to successful interactions and achieving goals in your professional career. Let’s dive deeper to know why Communication Skills are so important:  

Improve relationships  

When we communicate effectively, we can express our thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly, leading to better understanding and connection with others. It helps to resolve conflicts, build trust, and strengthen bonds. Effective Communication also promotes empathy, active listening, and the ability to respond constructively, all of which contribute to better  relationships.   

Strong  Communication Skills are crucial for maintaining positive relationships with colleagues, clients, and stakeholders. It facilitates collaboration, builds trust, and enhances teamwork, ultimately leading to improved productivity and success in the workplace. 

Maximise workplace benefits  

Communication Skills are highly valued in the professional world. Effective communication allows for efficient coordination, clear instructions, and the smooth flow of information within a team or organisation. It helps to avoid misunderstandings, conflicts, and costly errors. Additionally, good communication fosters a positive work environment, boosts morale, and enhances employee engagement and satisfaction. 

Effective Communication is essential for delivering impactful presentations, conducting successful meetings, negotiating deals, and providing constructive feedback. It also helps resolve conflicts and manage challenging conversations, enabling better teamwork and overall organisational success. 

Increase self - confidence  

Practical Communication Skills in business can increase self-confidence by enabling individuals to express themselves, deliver impactful speeches, assert their needs, build professional relationships, and confidently handle challenging situations. Excellent Communication Skills enhance self-confidence, professional networking, and career advancement opportunities. They enable individuals to convey ideas, influence others, and showcase expertise, leading to greater recognition and success. 

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Boosting customer loyalty  

Effective Communication Skills play an essential role in building and maintaining strong customer relationships. Businesses can enhance customer satisfaction and loyalty by actively listening to customer needs, addressing their concerns promptly, and providing clear and empathetic communication. This improves business relations, positive word-of-mouth referrals, and long-term success. 

Navigating cross-cultural communication  

In today's global business landscape, cross-cultural Communication Skills are increasingly valuable. Understanding cultural gaps, adapting communication styles, and respecting diverse perspectives are essential for successful international collaborations and negotiations. Businesses prioritising cross-cultural Communication Skills gain a competitive edge in the global marketplace. 

Learn how to implement effective strategies to improve cross-cultural Communication Skills with our Cross Cultural Communications Training   Join today!  

Usage of digital communication platforms  

As digital communication continues to evolve, proficiency in leveraging digital platforms is crucial. Business Communication Skills extend beyond traditional methods to encompass email, social media, video conferencing, and virtual collaboration tools. Mastering these channels enables effective remote communication, virtual team collaboration, and broader reach to a global audience.  

Effective communication resolves crisis  

During times of crisis or uncertainty, businesses must communicate effectively to maintain trust and confidence. Crisis Communication Skills involve timely and transparent communication, empathetic messaging, and proactive management of stakeholders' concerns. Businesses that handle crises with clear and empathetic communication can mitigate reputational damage and maintain stakeholder trust. 

Master the art of Effective Communication with our Effective Communication Skills Course .Sign up now! 

Examples of Communication Skills

When applying for a job, showcasing the Communication Skills that recruiters value in your cover letter and resume is essential. These skills are also crucial to demonstrate during your job interview. Here are some examples of Communication Skills and what they include:

a) Active listening: Active listening means focusing entirely on and understanding what others say. It involves giving your undivided attention, asking clarifying questions, and providing verbal and non-verbal feedback to show you are engaged. For example, during a team meeting, actively listening would involve maintaining eye contact, nodding in agreement, and paraphrasing what others have said to demonstrate understanding. 

b)  Non-verbal Communication: Non-verbal Communication refers to the messages conveyed through gestures, facial expressions, and body language. It plays a vital role in how others perceive and interpret your communication. For example, maintaining an open and confident posture, smiling, and using appropriate hand gestures can enhance communication effectiveness. 

c)  Respectful Communication: Respectful Communication include s treating others with dignity, courtesy, and consideration. It involves valuing diverse perspectives and opinions, even when they differ from your own. Respecting others' ideas creates a positive and inclusive work environment. During an interview or in your cover letter, emphasising your ability to actively listen, appreciate differing viewpoints, and provide constructive feedback demonstrates respectful communication. 

d)  Constructive feedback: Giving and taking constructive feedback is crucial for personal and professional growth. It involves providing specific and actionable suggestions to help others improve. Being open to feedback and responding positively also showcases your willingness to learn and grow. In an interview, you can highlight instances where you have given or received constructive feedback, emphasising its generated positive outcomes.   

e)  Clear and effective expression: Clear communication is essential for accurately conveying ideas and information. It involves articulating thoughts clearly, using appropriate language and tone, and structuring your message concisely and organised. In your cover letter, resume, and interview responses, focus on showcasing your ability to express yourself effectively, using simple and concise language that is easy to understand.   

How to communicate effectively?  

In various work situations, you will employ different Communication Skills . However, there are a few simple ways to become an effective communicator in the workplace:  

a) Be clear and concise: To ensure easy and effective communication, make your message short using concise language. Avoid lengthy and detailed sentences, focusing instead on the core meaning of your message. While providing context can be helpful, prioritise sharing the essential information to effectively convey your idea, instruction, or message. 

b) Practice empathy: Understanding your colleagues' feelings, ideas, and goals can enhance communication. For instance, empathise with their concerns or hesitations when seeking assistance from other departments for a project. By considering their perspective, you can position your message to address their apprehensions and foster cooperation. 

c) Assert yourself respectfully: Sometimes, it's necessary to be assertive in the workplace to achieve your goals, such as asking for a raise, pursuing project opportunities, or expressing disagreement with an unfavourable idea. Present your thoughts with confidence while maintaining respect in conversations. Use an even tone and provide sound reasons for your assertions to increase the likelihood of others being receptive to your ideas. 

d) Maintain calmness and consistency: When faced with disagreements or conflicts, it's crucial to remain calm and composed during communication. Avoid letting emotions dictate your interactions. Be mindful of your body language, refraining from crossing your arms or displaying negative gestures. Consistently maintain a neutral tone of voice and body language to facilitate peaceful and productive resolutions. 

e) Pay attention to body language: Body language plays a significant role in workplace communication. Pay close attention to the non-verbal cues expressed through others' facial expressions and body movements. Equally important is being mindful of your body language and the unintentional messages it may convey. By understanding and using body language effectively, you can enhance the overall effectiveness of your communication.

Communication Skills for job interviews 

In a job interview, make sure to actively listen to the person speaking to you. Make sure to sit straight and make eye contact with the interviewers whenever you are speaking. Remember to speak confidently, be positive, make eye contact and smile. 

Almost everything you do, both in terms of the job interview as well as in life, can be seen as a form of communication. By correctly identifying and assessing your strengths and weaknesses and practising good communication habits, you can enhance your Communication Skills to a great extent.  

Conclusion  

To sum it up, e ffective Communication Skills are the key to building connections, fostering collaboration, and achieving success. Effective Communication promotes teamwork, collaboration, and problem-solving, improving productivity and positive outcomes. Improving your Communication Skills for personal and professional growth will help you explore better employment prospects and career options.  

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49 Communication Activities, Exercises & Games

Read on to learn about how important communication is in a relationship and how you can work on improving your communication skills.

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free . These science-based tools will help you and those you work with build better social skills and better connect with others.

This Article Contains:

What are communication activities, exercises, and games, the role of communication in a relationship, how can we develop better communication skills, 18 communication games and activities for adults, 17 exercises to help improve communication in a relationship, the importance of communication in the family unit, 14 family therapy activities for communication, a take-home message.

The resources in this piece include tips, techniques, exercises, games, and other activities that give you the opportunity to learn more about effective communication, help guide your interactions with others, and improve your communication skills.

Some might feel like a chore you need to cross off your to-do list while others may make you forget you’re not just having fun with your family , but actually boosting vital life skills; however, they all have one thing in common: they will help you become a better, more effective, and more positive communicator with those who mean the most to you.

But what’s the deal with these activities, exercises, and therapy games ? Are they really that important or impactful? Do we really need to work on communicating when it seems like we’re pretty good at it already?

Check out this quote from Stephen R. Covey and take a minute to think about how vital communication really is.

The most important ingredient we put into any relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are. And if our words and our actions come from superficial human relations techniques rather than from our own inner core, others will sense that duplicity. We simply won’t be able to create and sustain the foundation necessary for effective interdependence.

Stephen R. Covey

As Covey notes, communication is the foundation of all of our relationships , forming the basis of our interactions and feelings about one another.

According to Australia’s Better Health Channel, communication is “ the transfer of information from one place to another ” and within relationships, it “ allows you to explain to someone else what you are experiencing and what your needs are ” (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

When communication is good, we feel good about our relationships. Dr. Susan Heitler (2010) puts it this way:

When people say, ‘We have a great relationship,’ what they often mean is how they feel when they talk with one another. They mean, ‘I feel positive toward that person when we interact. I send and I receive positive vibes with them.’

Besides making our relationships easier, there are also relationship-boosting benefits to good communication:

• Effective communication shows respect and value of the other person.
• It helps us to better understand each other; not all communication is about understanding—some are intended to fight, dismiss, invalidate, undermine, etc.—but it should be!
• It makes us feel more comfortable with each other and encourages even more healthy and effective communication (Abass, n.d.).

Download 3 Communication Exercises (PDF)

These detailed, science-based exercises will equip you or your clients with tools to improve communication skills and enjoy more positive social interactions with others.

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Fortunately, all it takes to develop better communication skills is a commitment to do so and a little bit of effort.

These tips from Australia’s Better Health Channel can help guide you toward better communication with your partner or spouse (these tips can also apply to any other relationship in your life with a little tweaking):

• Set aside time to talk without interruption from other people or distractions like phones, computers or television.
• Think about what you want to say.
• Be clear about what you want to communicate.
• Make your message clear, so that your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean.
• Talk about what is happening and how it affects you.
• Talk about what you want, need and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’.
• Accept responsibility for your own feelings.
• Listen to your partner. Put aside your own thoughts for the time being and try to understand their intentions, feelings, needs and wants (this is called empathy ).
• Share positive feelings with your partner, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you.
• Be aware of your tone of voice.
• Negotiate and remember that you don’t have to be right all the time. If the issue you are having is not that important, sometimes let the issue go, or agree to disagree (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

If you’re experiencing high levels of conflict in your relationship(s), the Better Health Channel has some specific recommendations for you:

• Avoid using the silent treatment.
• Don’t jump to conclusions. Find out all the facts rather than guessing at motives.
• Discuss what actually happened. Don’t judge.
• Learn to understand each other, not to defeat each other.
• Talk using the future and present tense, not the past tense.
• Concentrate on the major problem, and don’t get distracted by other minor problems.
• Talk about the problems that hurt your or your partner’s feelings, then move on to problems about differences in opinions.
• Use ‘I feel’ statements, not ‘You are’ statements (Victoria Department of Health & Human Services, n.d.).

8 Tips on How to Teach Communication Skills

This useful framework comes from Alice Stott at Edutopia (2018):

• Physical: How a speaker uses their body language, facial expressions, and voice.
• Linguistic: The speaker’s use of language, including their understanding of formality and rhetorical devices.
• Cognitive: The content of what a speaker says and their ability to build on, challenge, question, and summarize others’ ideas.
• Social and emotional : How well a speaker listens, includes others, and responds to their audience (Stott, 2018).

Once you have a good framework for understanding communication, try these 8 ways to foster effective communication in your children or students:

• Teach your kids empathy so they can get a sense of what the other person is thinking and feeling.
• Teach your kids conversation skills with techniques like puppets and video modeling, which they can then apply in exercises and activities.
• Establish listening and speaking procedures in the classroom or at home (e.g., Dr. Allen Mendler’s SLANT strategy : Sit up straight, Listen, Answer and ask questions, Nod to show interest, Track the speaker; Mendler, 2013).
• Teach respectful vocabulary and remind students that being “cold” (passive) or “hot” (angry) will probably result in less understanding and more conflict.
• Teach the power of pausing (e.g., encourage them to pause, think, and ask questions like “What do you mean by that?” and “Why?”).
• Have your kids practice speaking and listening in natural settings (e.g., outside of the home and classroom).
• Encourage introspection in your children; it will help them understand themselves better as well as those around them.
• Practice taking turns with a talking stick or a ball, teaching your children that they can speak when they have the object but they are expected to listen when others are talking (Stanfield, 2017).

One of the most effective ways to avoid unnecessary disputes is to practice non-violent communication (NVC). According to Rosenberg (1999), non-violent communication methods can serve us in three ways:

• It can increase your ability to live with choice, meaning, and connection
• It helps connect empathically with yourself and others to have more satisfying relationships
• It shares resources so everyone is able to benefit

In an effort to exemplify the various forms that communication can take, we want to share some key differences between passive, assertive, and aggressive communication styles.

• Specifically, a passive communicator prioritizes the needs of others, even at their own expense. This often leads to being taken advantage of and having their own needs disregarded by others as well.
• An assertive communicator mirrors the values of NVC, which is what we should aim for. This communication style emphasizes the importance of all parties’ needs and is defined by confidence and the willingness to compromise
• Aggressive communication, also referred to as violent communication, disregards any other parties involved and consists of constant disrespect, interrupting, and domination.

Now that you are familiar with these types of communication styles, it’s time to analyze how you convey your thoughts to others (and if there is any room for improvement).

If you’re looking for some concrete ways to build communication skills in adults, you’ve come to the right place. Below are 18 games, activities, and exercises that you can use to help adults develop more effective listening and communication skills.

5 Communication Activities for Adults

To get started improving your (or your team’s, or your student’s) communication skills, give these 5 activities a try.

1. Card Pieces

This exercise from the team at MindTools is a good way to help participants develop more empathy, consider other perspectives, build their communication and negotiation skills.

First, make sure you have enough people for at least three teams of two, enough playing cards to give out between 4 and 6 cards to each person, and 15 minutes to spare.

Here’s how the activity works:

• Cut each playing card into half diagonally, then in half diagonally again, so you have four triangular pieces for each card.
• Mix all the pieces together and put equal numbers of cards into as many envelopes as you have teams.
• Divide people up into teams of three or four. You need at least three teams. If you’re short of people, teams of two will work just as well.
• Give each team an envelope of playing card pieces.
• Each team has three minutes to sort its pieces, determine which ones it needs to make complete cards, and develop a bargaining strategy.
• After three minutes, allow the teams to start bartering for pieces. People can barter on their own or collectively with their team. Give the teams eight minutes to barter.
• When the time is up, count each team’s completed cards. Whichever team has the most cards wins the round.

Afterward, you can use these questions to guide discussion on the exercise:

• Which negotiation strategies worked? Which didn’t?
• What could they have done better?
• What other skills, such as active listening or empathy, did they need to use?

2. Listen and Draw

This game is easy to play but not so easy to “win.” It requires participants’ full attention and active listening.

Gather your group of participants together and hand out a piece of paper and a pen or pencil to each player. Tell them you will give them verbal instructions on drawing an object, one step at a time.

For example, you might give them instructions like:

• Draw a square, measuring 5 inches on each side.
• Draw a circle within the square, such that it fits exactly in the middle of the square.
• Intersect 2 lines through the circle, dividing the circle into 4 equal parts.

As the exercise continues, it will get progressively harder; one misstep could mean that every following instruction is misinterpreted or misapplied. Participants will need to listen carefully to ensure their drawing comes out accurately. Once the instructions have all been read, compare drawings and decide who won.

For added engagement, decide in advance on what the finished product is supposed to represent (e.g., a spiderweb, a tree).

3. Communication Origami

This is a great exercise to help people understand that we all hear and interpret things differently, even if we are given the exact same information.

Here’s how it works:

• Give one sheet of standard-sized paper (8.5 x 11 inches) to each participant.
• Tell your participants that you will be giving them step-by-step instructions on how to fold their piece of paper into an origami shape.
• Inform your participants that they must keep their eyes and mouths closed as they follow instructions; they are not allowed to look at the paper or ask any clarifying questions.
• Give the group your instructions on how to fold the paper into the origami shape of your choice.
• Once the instructions have all been given, have everyone open their eyes and compare their shape with the intended shape.

You will likely find that each shape is a little bit different! To hit the point home, refer to these discussion points and questions:

• Make the point that each paper looks different even though you have given the same instructions to everybody. What does this mean?
• Ask the group if you think the results would have been better if they kept their eyes open or were allowed to ask questions.
• Communicating clearly is not easy, we all interpret the information we get differently that’s why it’s very important to ask questions and confirm understanding to ensure the communicated message is not distorted.

4. Guess the Emotion

Another useful exercise from the Training Course Material website is called “ Guess the Emotion .” As you might expect, it involves acting out and guessing emotions. This helps all participants practice empathy and better understand their coworkers or group members’ reactions.

Follow these instructions to play this engaging game:

• Divide the group into two teams.
• Place on a table (or put in a box) a packet of cards, each of which has a particular emotion typed on it
• Have a participant from Group A take the top card from the table and act out (pantomime) the emotion for his/her group. This is to be done in a fixed time limit (such as a minute or two).
• If the emotion is guessed correctly by Group A, they receive ten points.
• Now have a participant from Group B act out an emotion; award points as appropriate.
• Rotate the acting opportunities between the two groups.
• After 20 to 30 minutes of acting and guessing, call time and announce the winning team based on its point total.

If you have a particularly competitive group, consider giving a prize to the winning team!

5. The Guessing Game

Finally, another fun and engaging game that can boost communication skills: “ The Guessing Game. ” You will probably recognize this game, as it’s similar to what many people know as “ Twenty Questions ,” except there is no hard limit on the number of questions you can ask.

To start, separate the group into two teams of equal (or roughly equal) size. Instruct one player from each team to leave the room for one minute and come up with a common object that can be found in most offices (e.g., a stapler, a printer, a whiteboard).

When this person returns, their teammates will try to guess what the object is by asking only “Yes or No” questions (i.e., questions that can only be answered with “yes” or “no”). The team can ask as many questions as they need to figure it out, but remind them that they’re in competition with the other team. If there’s time, you can have multiple rounds for added competition between the teams.

Take the last 10 minutes or so to discuss and debrief. Use the following points and questions to guide it:

• Tell the group that obviously it took a long time and effort for us to find out the object in each round, but what if we didn’t have time and only had one question to ask to find out the object, what would that question be?
• The question would be “What is the object?” which is an open-ended question.
• Open-ended questions are an excellent way to save time and energy and help you get to the information you need fast, however, closed questions can also be very useful in some instances to confirm your understanding or to help you control the conversation with an overly talkative person/customer.

5 Listening Activities for Adults

If you’re intent on improving listening skills, in particular, you have lots of options; give these 5 activities a try.

1. Telephone Exercise

This classic exercise from Becky Norman (2018) at Sift’s Training Zone illustrates why listening is such an important skill, and why we shouldn’t ignore any opportunities to improve it.

Split your group into two even lines. At opposite ends of each line, whisper a phrase or short sentence to the person on the end and tell them to pass it on using only whispers, one person at a time. They can only repeat the phrase or sentence once.

While participants are busy passing the message along to the next person in line, play music or engage them in conversation to create some white noise. This will make it a bit more difficult but it will mimic real-life conditions, where distractions abound.

When the messages have made it to the end of each line, have the last person to receive the message in each line report out on what they heard. Next, have the first person to receive the message in each line report the original message and compare it to the final message received.

2. Stop Listening Exercise

This exercise , also from Becky Norman’s piece (2018), will show participants the emotional consequences of not listening and—hopefully—encourage them to practice better listening skills.

Split your group into two smaller groups of equal size and take one group outside the room. Tell them that they are instructed to stop listening to their partner after about 30 seconds, and to be open in showing their disinterest. Tell the other group to think of something that they are passionate about and be prepared to tell their soon-to-be partner a meaningful or personally relevant story about this topic.

Bring the other group back in, put all the participants into pairs, and tell them to get started. Observe the behavior from the listeners and the reactions from the speakers until you’re sure each speaker has picked up on what’s happening. Stop the conversations at this point and explain the instructions that were given to each group.

Facilitate a group discussion on the importance of listening, how to use active listening, and what indicates that someone is truly listening.

3. Listener and Talker Activity

The “Listener and Talker” activity is another good activity for showing the importance of active listening and giving participants a chance to practice their skills.

Divide your group into pairs, with one partner assigned to the talker role and the other assigned to the listener role. The talker’s job is to describe what he or she wants from a vacation without specifying a destination. The listener’s job is to listen attentively to what is being said (and what is not being said) and to demonstrate their listening through their behavior.

After a few minutes of active listening, the listener should summarize the three or main criteria the talker is considering when it comes to enjoying their vacation. Finally, the listener should try to sell the talker on a destination for their vacation. After a quick debrief on how well the listener listened, the two should switch roles and try the exercise again.

This exercise gives each participant a chance to practice talking about their wants and needs, as well as an opportunity to engage in active listening and use the knowledge they gained to understand and relate to the speaker.

4. Memory Test Activity

This great activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is called the “Memory Test” activity.

• Tell participants that you are going to read them a list of words to test their memory.
• Instruct them to listen carefully, as they cannot write down any of the words. Tell them you will test them later to see how many of the words they can remember.
• When you finish reading the list of words, distract your participants by talking about something else for at least one full minute.
• Once you have finished talking, have each participant write down as many words as they can remember from the list.

You (and your participants) will find that it’s pretty difficult to remember a list of somewhat-random words, especially when there is a break in time and another discussion in between hearing them and recalling them! Relate this to real-life listening by emphasizing the importance of paying attention to people when they are speaking to you, especially if it’s an important conversation.

5. Just Listen Activity

This activity comes from the folks at MindTools.com and offers participants a chance to communicate their feelings and provide a recap or rephrasing of another person’s feelings on a subject.

To get started, you will need an even number of people to pair off (or prepare to partner with one yourself) and eight index cards per pair. These index cards should have one topic written on each card; try to make sure the topics are interesting but not too controversial, as you don’t want listeners to dislike the speakers if they disagree with their viewpoint (e.g., you should probably avoid politics and religion).

Use these instructions to conduct the activity:

• Have the team members sit down in their pairs.
• Give each pair eight of the index cards.
• Instruct one partner to choose a random card and then speak for three minutes on how he or she feels about the topic.
• Instruct the other partner to stay quiet while the first partner talks, just listening instead of speaking.
• After the three minutes is up, the listener has one minute to recap what the speaker said (not agree, disagree, or debate, just recap).
• Have each pair switch roles and repeat the exercise so both partners get a chance to speak and to listen.

After each participant has played both roles, end the activity and guide a discussion with the following questions:

• How did speakers feel about their partners’ ability to listen with an open mind? Did their partners’ body language communicate how they felt about what was being said?
• How did listeners feel about not being able to speak about their own views on the topic? How well were they able to keep an open mind? How well did they listen?
• How well did the listening partners summarize the speakers’ opinions? Did they get better as the exercise progressed?
• How can they use the lessons from this exercise at work?

You will find this activity at this link , exercise #4.

6 Nonverbal Communication Activities for Adults

Nonverbal communication is just as important as verbal communication, if not more so!

Use these 6 activities to practice reading and “speaking” effective nonverbal messages.

1. Power of Body Language

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com will help your participants work on their body language skills.

• Tell the participants that you are going to give them a series of instructions and you want them to follow them as fast as they can.
• Put your hand to your nose.
• Clap your hands.
• Touch your shoulder.
• Stamp your foot.
• Cross your arms.
• Put your hand to your mouth (but while saying this one, put your hand to your nose).
• Observe how many participants copied what you did instead of what you said.

Share this observation with your group and lead a discussion on how body language can influence our understanding and our reactions. It can reinforce what we hear or it can interfere with the verbal communication we receive. The more aware we are of this possibility, the better communicators we become. It’s vital to keep your own body language in mind, just as it’s vital to notice and understand others’ body language.

2. Clap and Follow

The “Clap and Follow” activity is a great way to practice using your body in conjunction with verbal communication.

It works like this:

• Tell your group that this is a game that requires their full concentration.
• When they hear one clap from the leader (you), tell them this means they should stand up.
• When they hear two claps from the leader, they should hop once in place.
• When they hear three claps, they should rub their belly.
• When they hear four claps, they should do a 360-degree turn on the spot.
• When they hear five claps, they should pat their head.
• Begin the activity! Start with one clap, then two claps, and so on until you have given the group each instruction once.
• Now, mix it up! Switch between the five different instructions and begin to pick up the pace. This is when the eliminations begin.
• Each time a participant engages in the wrong activity, eliminate them from the game. Continue until there is one clear winner.

If you have a competitive group, you may want to bring a prize to ensure active engagement with the exercise. It will give participants a chance to practice nonverbal communication in a fun context.

3. Wordless Acting

This activity from Grace Fleming (2018) at ThoughtCo will show your participants how much we “speak” with our body language and facial expressions.

Here are the instructions:

• Separate your group into pairs.
• Assign one participant in each pair to be Partner A and the other to be Partner B.
• Give each participant a copy of the script (copied below).
• Instruct Participant A to read his or her lines out loud, but instruct Participant B to communicate his or her lines in a nonverbal way.
• Provide Participant B with a secret emotional distraction written on a piece of paper (e.g., Participant B is in a rush, is really bored, or is feeling guilty).
• Have each pair work through the script.
• After each pair has finished working through the script, have the “A” participants guess what emotion their partner was feeling.

This is the script you will give each participant:

A: Have you seen my book? I can’t remember where I put it. B: Which one? A: The murder mystery. The one you borrowed. B: Is this it? A: No. It’s the one you borrowed. B: I did not! A: Maybe it’s under the chair. Can you look? B: Okay—just give me a minute. A: How long are you going to be? B: Geez, why so impatient? I hate when you get bossy. A: Forget it. I’ll find it myself. B: Wait—I found it!

After the activity, guide a discussion on how much information we can pick up from nonverbal communication and how important it is to regulate our bodies and our facial expressions when communicating, even if we’re also using verbal communication.

4. We Have to Move Now!

Another great exercise from Grace Fleming (2018) is called “We Have to Move Now!” and it will help your participants learn how to express and detect several different emotions.

These are the instructions for this activity:

• Cut several strips of paper.
• On each strip of paper, write down a mood, feeling, or disposition, like guilty, happy, suspicious, paranoid, insulted, or insecure.
• Fold the strips of paper so you can’t see what is written on it and place them in a bowl or jar. These are your prompts.
• Have each participant take a prompt from the bowl or jar and read the exact same sentence to the class, but with the emotion the prompt specifies.
• The sentence everybody will read is: “We all need to gather our possessions and move to another building as soon as possible.”
• Have the participants guess the emotion of each reader by writing down what they think the speaker is feeling (or what they are supposed to be feeling).

After each participant has had a chance to read the sentence based on one of the prompts, run through the emotions displayed and see how many each participant guessed correctly. Finally, lead a debriefing discussion on how things like tone and body language can impact the way a message is received.

5. Stack the Deck

All you’ll need for this exercise is a deck of playing cards, a blindfold for each participant, and some space to move around.

Here’s how “Stack the Deck” works:

• Shuffle the deck of cards and hand one out to each participant.
• Instruct the participants to keep their cards a secret; no one should see the suit or color of another participant’s card.
• Tell the participants that they will not be allowed to talk at all during this exercise.
• Instruct your participants to assemble into four groups according to their suit (hearts, clubs, diamonds, spades), but using only nonverbal communication.
• If you have the time and your participants have the inclination, try blindfolding each participant and giving the same instructions—it makes it much more difficult and more time-consuming!
• Once participants have all gathered into one of the four groups, have them line up according to their rank (Ace is the lowest, King is the highest); again, they cannot speak or show their cards to anyone during this part of the exercise.
• The group that lines up in the right order first wins!

As always, you can offer a prize to the winning team to motivate your participants.

This exercise will show how difficult it is to communicate without words, but it will also show your participants that it is not only possible, it gets easier as they start to pick up on one another’s nonverbal cues.

You can find this exercise at this link (Activity #3).

6. Silent Movie

Finally, facilitate this activity to really drive home the importance of effective nonverbal communication.

Divide your participants into two groups. For the first half of the activity, one group will be screenwriters and the other group will be actors. In the second half, the two groups will switch roles.

Instruct the screenwriters to write a silent movie, but to keep these things in mind:

• Silent movies tell a story without words. It’s important to start the scene with the actor doing an obvious task, like cleaning the house or rowing a boat.
• The scene must be interrupted when a second actor (or several actors) enter the scene, and their arrival should have a big impact. The character(s) could be anyone (or anything), including burglars, salesmen, children, or even animals.
• A physical commotion must occur.
• The problem that is caused by the commotion must be resolved by the end of the scene.

Give the screenwriters time to write out their script, then have the actors perform the script. Once the scene is finished, have the groups switch roles.

The communication game – Asgar Hussain

2 Communication Group Activities

Other great activities for group communication include the “Square Talk” and “Follow All Instructions” activities.

1. Square Talk Activity

For this activity , you will need one blindfold for each participant, one long piece of rope for each team (teams should be composed of around 5 participants each), and 25 minutes.

Follow these steps to give this activity a try:

• Divide your group of participants into groups of about 5 each.
• Clear the room so you have as much space as possible.
• Blindfold each participant and tell them their objective: to make a square from a rope (i.e., stand in the shape of a square with their team).
• Disorientate each participant by moving them a bit, spinning them around, etc.
• All team members are blindfolded and must remain so for the duration of the activity.
• The rope you are holding is approximately ___ feet in length.
• The role you are holding is knotted together to form a circle; it must not be undone.
• You must not let go of the rope.
• You will be told when you have 5 minutes remaining.
• Allow the teams to work on the activity and inform them when they have 5 minutes left.

Once the teams have given this activity their best shot, use these 5 discussion questions to review the importance of good group communication:

• Do you feel as a group you communicated effectively?
• During the Activity, what communication skills did you use effectively?
• During the activity, what communication skills could you have used to improve performance?
• How important is communication in the workplace? Why?
• What key points have you learned about communication from this activity, that you wish to apply in the workplace?

2. Follow All Instructions Activity

This activity from TrainingCourseMaterial.com is a great one for young people, but it can be used with participants of all ages. All you’ll need is a set of instructions for each participant.

• Write all of your teams initials at the top right-hand corner of this sheet.
• Write your first name on your sheet of paper.
• Write the total of 3 + 16 + 32 + 64 here: __________________
• Underline instruction 1 above.
• Check the time by your watch with that of one of your neighbor’s.
• Write down the difference in time between the two watches at the foot of this page.
• Draw three circles in the left-hand margin.
• Put a tick in each of the circles mentioned in 6.
• Sign your signature at the foot of the page.
• On the back of the page, divide 50 by 12.5.
• When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.
• If you have carefully followed all these instructions, call out ‘I have’.
• On the reverse of this page, draw quickly what you think an upright bicycle looks like from overhead.
• Check your answer to Item 9, multiply it by 5 and write the result in the left-hand margin opposite this item.
• Write the 5th, 10th, 9th and 20th letters of the alphabet here: ___________________
• Punch three holes with your pen here: o o o
• If you think you are the first person to get this far, call out ‘I’m in the lead’.
• Underline all the even digits on the left-hand side of the page.
• Draw triangles around the holes you punched in Item 15.
• Now you’ve finished reading all the instructions, obey only 1, 2, 20 & 21.
• Stand up and say, “We’re the greatest team in the World!”

As you can see, the instructions include lots of silly directives (e.g., “When you get to this point in the test, stand up, then sit down and continue with the next item.”) that will identify who is following the directions and who is not—but the person that stands is actually the one not following directions!

The first and only verbal instruction you will give participants is to read all the written instructions first before engaging in any of the directives. The first person to complete the list will be declared the winner of the activity. You can offer a prize to the winner if you think the group would be motivated by it.

This exercise is a fun way to see who is paying attention and who is skipping the most vital instruction—to read everything before acting.

7 Communication Games for Couples

Defeating Divorce shares the following three games aimed at improving communication in a romantic relationship.

This game is goal-directed, meaning the couple is working towards a common goal, and that goal requires effective communication.

• The couple sits back to back with an identical set of building blocks in front of each of them.
• One partner uses their blocks to create some sort of building or structure.
• The builder partner then relays a series of instructions to the other partner to help him or her build the exact same structure.
• The listener partner must try to build the same structure based on the speaker partner’s instructions.

This game takes some serious teamwork and good communication, and it can be repeated as needed to help a couple build their skills.

2. Minefield

“Minefield” is a physical game that will not only get both partners up and moving, but it will also require a great deal of trust and communication to complete the challenge.

You will need a blindfold for one partner, some space to navigate, and some objects with which you can create a minefield or obstacle course. Once the course is ready to go, blindfold one partner and bring them into the room.

The challenge here is for the non-blindfolded partner to guide the blindfolded partner through the obstacle course using only verbal communication. The couple will only succeed if the blindfolded partner has trust in their partner and the non-blindfolded partner is an effective verbal communicator.

Feelings of frustration are common in this game, but it can be a great way to highlight issues in communication or, alternately, highlight the couple’s communication strengths.

3. Give Me a Hand

This game is another one that can be frustrating for the couple but ultimately provides a great opportunity to build effective communication skills and unite the two in a common goal.

In this game, the couple will be given a seemingly easy task to complete, such as buttoning a shirt or tying a shoe, but with a catch—each partner will have one arm tied behind their back. The couple will find that the lack of one arm makes the task much more difficult than they might expect!

To complete the task, the couple will need to communicate effectively and coordinate their movements. It will be tough, but immensely satisfying to successfully complete this challenge!

4. Twenty Questions Times Two

If you remember the game “Twenty Questions”, you’ll recognize this game. It can be used to help couples communicate, share important details, and strengthen their connection.

Here’s how:

• The couple should schedule some time alone, without distractions.
• Before playing the game, each partner should come up with a list of 20 detailed personal questions to ask the other partner. The couple should feel free to get creative here!
• Both partners take turns asking each other one question at a time.
• When they’ve finished asking each other their questions, they should reverse them! Instead of asking questions like, “What is your favorite color?” each partner will ask, “What is my favorite color?”

This fun twist on a familiar game will result in greater knowledge and understanding of your spouse and, hopefully, better communication skills.

5. Eye-to-Eye

This game is a good way for couples to work on communicating and improving their connection, and all you need is your eyes!

Here’s how to do it:

• The couple sits facing each other, close enough to hold hands.
• Each partner looks directly into the other partner’s eyes.
• Each partner should take a minute to notice the feelings they are experiencing at this point.
• One partner begins talking about something simple and easy to discuss, like what happened that day, what they had for lunch, or something they are grateful for.
• The other partner reciprocates with a similar conversation, all while holding eye contact.
• The couple continues sharing things one at a time until each partner has shared at least three or four times.
• The couple discusses what the experience was like.

Many people find this game uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it can greatly enhance your sense of intimacy with your partner.

6. The Top Three

Similar to the “three good things” exercise, this game’s aim is to boost a couple’s gratitude for one another and give them both a chance to practice expressing it. Couples should schedule a time for this game every day, but the good news is that it doesn’t take long—just a few minutes will do.

To play “The Top Three”, couples should follow these instructions:

• At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on your day. Think about what your partner has done for you today.
• Take turns sharing those three things with your partner and tell them what each thing meant to you.
• Don’t forget to say “thank you” or otherwise verbally express your gratitude to your partner!

This game gets couples to practice vocalizing their appreciation and expressing gratitude, two things that are not necessarily in everyone’s daily communications but can have a big impact on a relationship.

7. Make a Playdate

Playdates are not just for kids or puppies—they are a great idea for couples as well! A play date is not your average, regularly scheduled programming sort of date, but something that is different, spontaneous, unique, and/or just plain fun!

Here are the three ground rules for the playdate:

• It has to be something for just the couple to do and they cannot include the kids or discuss mundane things like chores or bills.
• It has to be something that requires both partners to be present in the moment; think sailing, rock climbing, or dance lessons rather than seeing a movie or going out to dinner.
• The couple should take turns picking the activity and try to surprise their partner with something new.

Planning this date will not only make it easier to feel connected and closer to one another, but it also provides couples with an opportunity to communicate their love for one another through their actions. Depending on the date activity, it can also provide some much-needed time for the couple to talk.

5 Exercises and Activities for Married Couples

These exercises , also from Defeating Divorce, are not just for married couples, but for anyone in a committed relationship.

1. Fireside Chats

This communication exercise is based on President Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “fireside chats,” in which he addressed the American people with the intention of making it feel as if he was speaking directly into their living room, carrying on a calm and rational discussion of important issues.

The intention of this exercise for couples is similar: to make the couple feel more connected, more aware of what is going on in each other’s lives, and to maintain a pulse on how the relationship is going.

The two partners should schedule a 15 to 30-minute “fireside chat” each week to practice their ability to speak calmly, respectfully, and effectively about important and relevant issues. They should minimize the chances of distraction (turn off the TV, put their phones on silent, etc.) and focus only on one another for these chats.

What the couple discusses is up to them, but if there are salient relationship issues, this is a good time to talk about them. If the issues are very serious, it may be a good idea to start out this exercise talking about less intense, less emotional topics before moving on to the problem areas.

2. High-Low Activity

The high-low activity also aims to help couples feel more connected and in touch with one another, which requires measured and thoughtful communication. Engaging in this exercise daily will give the couple a chance to practice their communication skills on a regular basis, as well as their active listening skills.

Here’s how the exercise works:

• Wait until the end of the day (e.g., at the end of dinner, around bedtime) to put it into practice.
• The couple will then “check-in” with each other about the other’s day.
• Each partner will ask the other to share their “high” of the day or the best part of their day.
• Next, each partner will ask the other to share their “low” of the day or the worst or most disappointing part of their day.
• As one partner is sharing, the other should practice active listening techniques, conveying their empathy and understanding to their partner.

This simple activity will result in a more intimate and understanding relationship between the two partners, all for just a few minutes a day.

3. Listening Without Words

If a couple wants to practice both their verbal and nonverbal communication, this is a great way to do it. The “Listening Without Words” activity allows each partner to apply both verbal and nonverbal communication skills, as it involves switching between only speaking and only listening.

This is how to practice it:

• The couple will schedule some time for themselves without kids, work, or other responsibilities interrupting them.
• They set a timer for somewhere between 3 to 5 minutes.
• Until the timer goes off, one partner acts as the speaker and the other acts as the listener. The speaker will talk about any subject they’d like to talk about.
• While the speaker talks, the listener will attempt to show the speaker compassion, empathy, and understanding through nonverbal communication only (e.g., smiling, nodding, taking their partner’s hand).
• When the timer goes off, the partners will have a chance to process what they experienced and discuss any thoughts or feelings that came up.
• Finally, the partners switch roles and repeat the exercise.

This exercise is a great way to boost your bond and your skills at the same time.

4. Eye See You

Similar to a previous exercise (“Eye-to-Eye”), this exercise relies heavily on eye contact; however, unlike the previous exercise, this one does not allow talking until the end.

Here’s how to give it a try:

• The couple should be in a quiet and relaxing environment, with as few distractions as possible.
• They sit in two chairs facing one another, near to one another but not touching.
• The couple sets a timer for five minutes and settles in their respective seats, making and holding eye contact with one another. They will hold eye contact but refrain from speaking or touching until the timer goes off.
• Both partners should be encouraged to note any thoughts, feelings, or sensations that come bubbling up during these five minutes.
• Once the timer goes off, the two should try to guess what the other person was thinking and feeling during the five minutes. Once they have a chance to guess, they should discuss these things that bubbled to the surface as they maintained eye contact.

It might surprise some people to hear what their partner was thinking and feeling during the activity, but a strong relationship depends on understanding and empathizing with one another, making communication like this a necessity.

5. Send Me a Postcard

Although we’ve mostly focused on verbal communication and communications via body language, facial expressions, and touch, there is another form that we haven’t mentioned: written communication. This activity guides the couple in developing more effective written communication skills.

Both partners should have two blank postcards and something to write with for this exercise. On one postcard, each partner will write down a message to the other partner communicating a frustration, a feeling, or a desire. They should take a few minutes to create a thoughtful message to their partner.

Once they have their postcard ready to “mail” each partner will deliver their message to their partner without any verbal communication. They will both read their partner’s message and take a few moments to process. When they feel ready, they will use their remaining blank postcard to craft a response to their partner’s message.

When both partners have finished writing their response, they will deliver those messages to one another as well. After they have both read the response postcards, the couple can debrief and discuss their messages to one another.

5 Communication Exercises for Couples Therapy

If you’re hungry for more couples’ communication exercises, maybe these five exercises will hit the spot!

1. Active Listening

Active listening is not the easiest skill to master, but it is an important one to develop. This exercise from marriage counseling expert Racheal Tasker will give you a chance to practice it with the person closest to you.

The next time you and your partner are talking about something important or sensitive, put these tips and techniques into practice:

• The speaker should remain focused on a single thought or idea.
• The listener should listen attentively to the speaker, concentrating on understanding their perspective and attempting to gain new insights into their thoughts and feelings.
• The speaker and listener should switch roles after a while to allow each to practice both types of communication.
• Both partners should practice speaking and listening with patience and love, allowing their feelings for their partner to guide them toward true understanding rather than just reacting (Tasker, n.d.).

2. Sharing Emotions Freely

It can be tough to be truly open with our emotions, but it’s vital for effective communication and a healthy relationship. Try this exercise to work on this skill.

The couple should agree to try this exercise together and follow these instructions:

• Decide on a specific time and place to put this exercise into practice.
• Let your partner know what you need to feel safe sharing your feelings, and listen to what your partner needs to feel safe sharing his or her feelings.
• Be sure to also ask your partner what would make him or her feel more comfortable as you share your feelings, as it can be just as difficult to hear as it is to share.
• Share with your partner! If it helps, use a timer to limit how much sharing can occur and to ensure equal time to share feelings.
• Listen to what your partner tells you and discuss what, if any, concrete steps you can take based on the information you’ve both shared. Commit to using the information you gained to improve your communication skills and your relationship in general (Tasker, n.d.).

3. Use Positive Language

Another great exercise from Racheal Tasker is focused on using positive language with one another. It can be surprisingly easy to slide into a pattern of mostly neutral or even negative language with your partner, but you can use this exercise to counter that tendency.

Here’s what to do:

• Commit to using positive language when you communicate with your partner.
• Ask your partner to make the same commitment to positive language.
• Avoid being overly critical or negative when communicating with your partner.
• Use a positive and encouraging tone when you speak to your partner.
• Keep an eye on the words you use; try to incorporate words like “love”, “feel”, “appreciate”, and ditch words like “fault”, “never”, and “hate” (e.g., “I hate it when you do X!”).

As partners continue to practice this exercise on a regular basis, they will find that their communication style grows more positive with less effort, and their relationship will flourish (Tasker, n.d.).

4. Take a Trip Together

There’s nothing like traveling with someone to work on your communication skills! Making a trip successful requires tons of communication, coordination, and clear expectations, but it can also open you up to fun new experiences and relaxation. To practice communicating with your partner, try planning and taking a trip together.

Plan your trip with a focus on doing things you both like, going to a place you’d both like to visit, and trying new food, activities, and other experiences together. Getting out of your routine and into a novel environment can do wonders for your communication—not to mention your overall mood.

Use some of the other tips and techniques mentioned in this article when you are planning your trip and while you are enjoying your trip; you’re sure to see some improvements to your communication with your partner (Tasker, n.d.).

You can find this exercise at this link , second exercise from the bottom.

5. I Feel (Blank)

The final exercise from Tasker is called “I Feel _____” and it’s a simple one.

We often have trouble sharing our feelings, even (or especially) with those we are closest to. A great way to work on communicating your feelings more often—and more effectively—is to practice saying “I feel (blank).”

The next time you are experiencing strong emotions or discussing a sensitive or difficult subject with your partner, try beginning your sentences with “I feel…” and continue from there. So, if you’re upset with your partner for forgetting about an important appointment or canceling plans at the last minute, instead of saying “You don’t respect my time,” try “I feel like you don’t respect my time.”

Framing your discussion in this manner—as a statement of your feelings rather than a personal attack or blaming session—is not only conducive to greater understanding, it also shows your partner that you care about having a constructive conversation and that your intentions are not to hurt them but to help them see from your perspective.

According to researchers Peterson and Green (2009), family communication is so important because:

“…it enables members to express their needs, wants, and concerns to each other. Open and honest communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their differences as well as love and admiration for one another.”

The benefits of high-quality communication make spending time on improving the way family members relate to one another a task that is well worth the time spent on it. If you’re interested in working on your communication skills as a family, give the following activities and exercises a try.

These 14 activities are great tools to use in family therapy, but you can also try them at home.

4 Group Exercises for the Family

These four group exercises are a great introduction to communication skill-building as a family. They’re fun, engaging, and good for all ages!

1. What If?

The best time to work on communication skills is when families take the time to just sit and relax together. This simple game is a great way to do that, allowing families to improve how they communicate with one another while laughing together and putting their imagination to good use.

You will need strips of paper, a pencil or pen for each family member, and two bowls.

• Get two slips of paper and something to write with for each family member.
• On the first slip, have each family member write a question off the top of his or her head; it can be silly, serious, or anywhere in between. Put all the questions in one of the bowls and give them a good mix.
• On the second slip of paper, have each family member write an answer to the question they came up with. Place these slips in the second bowl and mix them up.
• Pass each bowl around the room and have each family member take one question slip and one answer slip.
• Have each family member read the question and the answer that they have in their hand. The questions and answers might fit well together or they may result in absurd combinations!
• Continue the game with two more slips of blank paper. It may take a few rounds for everyone to get the hang of the game, but family members will get more comfortable with the game and enjoy it more as they go along.

Use the following questions to guide your discussion as a family:

• Did the activity spark your imagination?
• Why did the questions and answers get funnier after several rounds?

2. Expressing Individuality

Although families usually share values, norms, and beliefs, that doesn’t mean all family members will see things the same way. It can be hard for some family members to communicate their thoughts and feelings when they feel like the odd one out or a “black sheep” in the family.

To make sure your family is a safe space for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings, give the “Expressing Individuality” activity a try. It will help each family member understand that they are a valuable part of the family and that they are always free to share their unique perspective.

You’ll need about an hour for this activity, 15 minutes to make the dough and 45 minutes for the activity itself. Use one of the recipes below to make your own play dough as a family.

If you want to make reusable play dough, mix together:

• 1 cup flour
• 1 cup water (add food coloring to water if you want colored clay)
• 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 1 tablespoon oil

After mixing these ingredients together, put over low heat and stir slowly. When the dough has formed into a small ball, remove it from the heat and knead while still warm. Store the clay in a sealed container.

If you plan on baking your designs at the end of this activity to preserve them, mix together:

• ½ cup water
• Food coloring (if desired—you can also paint the figures after you bake them)

Follow these instructions to encourage each family member to express their individuality:

• If you love Boy Scouts, you may want to mold the image of a person sitting on a log by a campfire.
• If you received an award as the “Employee of the Month,” you may want to mold the image of something that represents hard work, or dependability.
• If friendliness is a personal characteristic that you value, you may want to mold a face with a pleasant smile, or if you have a great love for animals, you may want to mold several of your favorite animals.
• After creating your unique design, you can preserve it by placing it on a cookie sheet and baking it in the oven on warm for several hours (until hard). This will harden the clay hard so that it maintains its shape. If you did not use food coloring to color the clay, or if you like to paint, you could paint the hardened figure. Once everyone has completed a mold, display these molds in the home.

To continue working on communicating your individuality as a family, ask these questions and discuss your answers together:

• Why did you choose to make what you did?
• What does it mean to you?

If the idea of creating a figure out of play dough doesn’t appeal to you, you can also try these two alternatives:

• You could draw pictures using plain white paper and colored pencils/crayons. Drawing may allow you to express more ideas than if you use clay. Make sure that you do not place an emphasis on artistic abilities. It is okay to draw simple stick figures that represent people or other objects.
• You could cut pictures out of old magazines and paste them on a poster board. After each person has completed a mold, picture, or collage, allow each family member to explain how their collage, picture or mold represents them.

3. Hints of Anger

Anger is a normal human emotion, and we will all get angry at some point. Instead of trying to avoid or deny anger, it’s vital that families learn how to manage their anger and communicate it to others in a healthy way. This activity will help family members identify their anger cues (the signs that indicate they are getting angry) and help them regulate their emotions to ensure they don’t say or do something they will regret.

Here’s how to do this activity as a family:

• Tell family members to think about a time when they were angry or upset, and consider how they felt.
• Were your hands relaxed or clenched in a fist?
• Was your heart rate normal or beating fast?
• Were your muscles relaxed or tight with tension?
• What kind of thoughts was going through your head?
• As a family, discuss any discrepancies between what you think about your anger cues and what other family members think.
• How did your body feel during this period of time?
• In which scenario did you feel more comfortable, angry, or happy?
• Discuss the importance of knowing when you are getting upset and might need to take a break and think.

After the activity, discuss these questions as a family:

• Why is it important to recognize the signs that you are angry?
• Why is it important to control your anger?
• What do you feel like specifically, when you are upset?
• What are the things you are going to do to manage your anger so it does not hurt your family relationships?
• Can recognizing anger cues help in managing your anger?

4. Family Meetings

Family meetings are a good idea for a lot of reasons, but yet another benefit of these get-togethers is the potential for building and developing better communication skills as a family. Regular family meetings can help family members learn how to:

• Make joint decisions
• Plan together
• Accept responsibility
• Show concern for others
• Spend some quality time together

Pick one night of the week when your family can consistently get together for a weekly family meeting that lasts 30 to 60 minutes, and make sure it’s scheduled on everyone’s calendar.

Here’s how to conduct good family meetings:

• Set a regular time. Setting a regular time and place gives the family council a position of importance and results in it becoming a permanent part of family operations. If everyone knows that the family is meeting together regularly, they find that most problems can wait a few days to be discussed. For this reason, some families like weekly meetings.
• Use an agenda. Post a paper during the week where family members can list concerns they want brought up (possibly, the message center). Discuss things in the order listed. This also reduces problems between meetings when parents can say, “List it on the agenda and we’ll discuss it at the meeting.”
• Attendance is voluntary . All members of the family are invited to attend — but attendance is voluntary. However, if a member is not present, he/she is still expected to abide by any decisions made by the family council.
• Each person has an equal voice . Everyone should be encouraged to contribute ideas and suggestions. All members must be treated the same, regardless of age. Using the steps of negotiation to (1) introduce the problem, (2) discuss solutions, and (3) vote on a solution. This gives everyone a chance to be involved. Councils do not always run smoothly. Teenagers are often suspicious that the new program is just another way for parents to gain compliance with their demands. In the first council meetings, rebelliousness may be exhibited to deliberately test whether parents are sincere about including them in family decision-making.
• Use rules of order . If participation is to be equal, then some type of order must be maintained. If a person has the right to express himself, then he also has the right to be heard — which implies that others have the obligation to listen. Rules of order help this situation.
• Rotate chairmanship . If the same person conducts all meetings, that person eventually begins to assume an air of superiority. To help maintain a feeling of equality, family members should take turns conducting the councils. This allows each person to experience the privileges and the responsibilities of this position.
• Accentuate solutions . Family council should not be “just a gripe session” — a time to get together and complain. In order to prevent this, you may decide that the person presenting a problem must also suggest one possible solution. Family members could then discuss alternate solutions or modify the one presented. In practice, some solutions do not work as well as anticipated. As family members begin to live with a decision, they may decide it needs to be changed. This change, however, must wait until the next regular meeting. Children soon recognize a need for better solutions and they learn by experience to make wiser choices. When family council is held regularly, each member learns to project ahead and anticipate problems. When this occurs, the emphasis at council meetings shifts from problem-solving to problem prevention and planning. Family council can also be a time to plan fun things like vacations or family outings. Families can talk about different places to visit and how they want to spend the time available.
• Decide on the authority level . The family council can be the final authority for the family, or a family can have a modified version of decision making. For it to be effective, however, most decisions made by the council need to be binding. If parents always overrule the council, children will soon lose interest.
• Keep a record . There sometimes develops a difference of opinions as to who conducted the last meeting, what matters were discussed, and what plans were agreed upon. For this reason, a secretary to record minutes is most helpful. The secretary can rotate with each meeting.

After your first family meeting, discuss these questions as a family:

• How did your first family meeting go?
• What about the meeting was good? What was bad?
• What do you want to incorporate in future meetings?

4 Active Listening Exercises

Active listening is a vital part of communication and can greatly improve relationships between family members. These four active listening exercises are a great way to boost your skills.

1. Precision Communication

Another activity that can help your family build and continue to develop good communication skills is called “Precision Communication.” It’s focused on active listening, which is a vital part of communication and conducive to better understanding and stronger, healthier relationships.

Here’s how to put this activity into practice:

• Set up a maze in your home using furniture, such as kitchen chairs or other pieces of furniture that can act as a barrier.
• Tie string or yarn between the furniture to create a clear path through the maze.
• Select a family member that will try to walk through the maze blindfolded. This person must not see the maze prior to being blindfolded.
• Have someone give voice instructions so the family member can be directed through the maze.

This activity’s aim is to see if the family member giving instructions can help the blindfolded family member get through the maze without bumping into the furniture, walls, or string. This means that not only must the speaking family member communicate clear and detailed instructions, but the blindfolded family member must also use their active listening skills to receive the instructions and implement them effectively.

Use these discussion questions to debrief and maximize this learning opportunity:

• Why was clear detailed communication necessary for this exercise?
• How important was it to listen carefully to the one giving instructions? Why?
• What were some of the difficulties associated with helping a family member complete this exercise?
• Using some of the ideas from this exercise, how can you, as a family, improve your communication skills?

If you want more from this activity, try this follow-up:

Draw a simple picture or pattern on a piece of paper. Without letting family members see the diagram, tell them what they need to do to make a copy of your picture that matches as closely as possible. After giving detailed instructions, see how accurately the pictures match up.

2. End of the Word—Beginning of the Next

This is a fun game on the Encourage Play website that can keep your kids actively engaged in building their listening skills.

Here’s how to play:

• One person (probably an adult) starts the game by giving out one word—it can be any word, it just needs to be one that every family member knows how to spell.
• The next family member must listen to the word the previous person said, then come up with a word that starts with the letter the last word ended with.

This is an easy game to play since you don’t need any materials, just a few minutes and the ability to hear one another! That makes it a great game for car rides, waiting in restaurants, or standing in a long line. To make it more challenging, give it a bit of complexity by limiting the words to a category, like animals or cities.

3. Red Light Green Light

Another exercise from the Encourage Play website is a familiar one. It’s based on the classic “Red Light, Green Light” game in which the leader gives instructions by color: saying “red light” means stop and saying “green light” means go.

To make the game a bit more challenging and really emphasize the importance of active listening, incorporate these three variations to the game:

• Different colors refer to different types of movement; for example, yellow light could mean skipping, purple light could mean crab walking, and blue light could mean hopping.
• Pretend to be a different animal for different colors (yellow = lion, green = bunny, purple = frog, etc.).
• Use words that rhyme with red or green to see if the players catch the difference (e.g., “Bread Light! Teen Light!”).

4. Tell a Group Story

Group stories are a great way to practice active listening with the whole family. It also gives kids a chance to be creative and silly, which helps to keep them engaged in the activity.

• The first person (probably an adult) starts a story with just one sentence (e.g., “Once upon a time, there was a very curious brown bunny”).
• The next person adds onto the story with just one sentence as well (e.g., “This bunny lived with her mother and father in a cozy little burrow under a willow tree”).
• The story continues until everyone has contributed at least a couple of sentences to the story.

This activity boosts active listening skills because it requires careful and attentive listening to what has already been said in order to make a good contribution to the story.

3 Assertive Communication Exercises

One of the best skills to teach your kids is how to be assertive instead of aggressive or passive (or passive-aggressive). Use these three assertive communication activities to help them learn this important skill.

1. Assertive Communication Worksheet

This worksheet is a great way to help older kids understand the difference between types of communication and to learn how to communicate assertively.

The worksheet first provides a good working definition of assertive communication:

“A communication style in which a person stands up for their own needs and wants, while also taking into consideration the needs and wants of others, without behaving passively or aggressively.”

It also outlines the traits of people who are assertive communicators, including:

• Clearly state needs and wants
• Eye contact
• Listens to others without interruption
• Appropriate speaking volume
• Steady tone of voice
• Confident body language

Next, it shares four tips on communicating assertively:

• Respect yourself—your wants and needs are as important as everyone else’s.
• Express your thought and feelings calmly rather than using the silent treatment or yelling and threatening.
• Plan out what you’re going to say before you say it.
• Say “no” when you need to, say it clearly, and do it without lying.

After some examples of assertive communication, we get to the active part of the worksheet. It’s geared toward adults, but the scenarios can be tweaked to fit kids as well.

There are four situations presented and space to write out your own assertive response to each. These situations are:

• Your partner says, “ I know you have plans for the weekend, but I really need you to watch the kids. I have a friend coming to town, and we made plans .”
• Situation: You’ve just received your food at a restaurant, and it was prepared incorrectly. Your sandwich seems to have extra mayo, instead of no mayo.
• Your friend says, “ Hey, can I borrow some money? I want to buy these shoes, but I left my wallet at home. I’ll pay you back soon, I swear. It won’t be like last time .”
• Situation: Your neighbor is adding an expansion to their house, and the crew starts working, very loudly, at 5 am. It has woken you up every day for a week.

Working through these scenarios as a family can help your kids see what healthy assertive communication looks like and show them that it’s okay to say “no” sometimes.

2. The Aggressive Alligator

The Aggressive Alligator is a great tool from Kristina Marcelli-Sargent, for teaching assertiveness over-aggressiveness or passiveness. It makes what can be a dry and boring subject more interesting and engaging.

Start by giving simple definitions to the terms “passive,” “aggressive,” and “assertive.” Next, show them a list of animals or a bin of small stuffed animals and allow them to choose an animal that they feel represents each definition. The aggressive animal doesn’t need to be an alligator, it can be anything that makes sense to your children.

After your kids have chosen an animal for each term, describe some social situations and instruct your kids to act them out with their animals. Each animal should act according to the definition it represents (e.g., the aggressive alligator should act aggressively, the passive panda should act passively, and the assertive anteater should act assertively).

Once all scenarios have been acted out, talk to your kids about how the outcomes differed between the three animals. Point out which one(s) resulted in a positive outcome and which one(s) should probably be avoided. In the future, you can refer back to the assertive anteater to remind your kids to be assertive instead of passive or aggressive (Sargent, 2015).

3. Keeping Cool

A great lesson for kids to learn is that assertive communication is about being firm and direct without being angry or upset. This activity will help you teach healthy assertiveness to your kids or students.

Here’s how to go about it:

• First, ask your kids how people might feel when they are bullied. If they have trouble coming up with answers, talk about how people might feel angry, scared, sad, upset, embarrassed, or confused.
• Next, ask your kids what kinds of things people want to do when they feel this way. If they can’t think of things people might do when they feel upset, angry, or sad, mention that they might yell, throw something, hit something, hide, cry, or do something else to make another person feel as bad as they feel.
• Ask your kids if they think these are good or helpful things to do. Explain how everyone has strong, negative feelings like this sometimes, and that it’s okay to feel them. These feelings have a purpose; they tell us that something is wrong or that something needs to be fixed, but they can also encourage us to do the wrong thing unless we learn how to keep a cool head.
• Close your eyes and take several slow deep breaths
• Count to ten
• Relax the muscles in your face and body
• Talk silently to yourself and repeat a soothing phrase, such as “Keep calm” or “I control my feelings”
• Get a drink of water
• Go sit by a person you trust

Discuss these options with the whole group and decide together on what the best techniques are, then practice using them together.

Click here to read about this exercise from the Education Development Center’s Bullying Prevention program.

3 Nonverbal Communication Exercises

Finally, although verbal communication is generally the focus of skill-building exercises and activities, nonverbal communication is also a vital skill to develop.

Use these 3 exercises to help your kids build their nonverbal skills.

1. Understanding Non-Verbal Communication

Things like tone of voice, facial expressions, body posture, and hand gestures are all non-verbal, but they are hugely important in our communication with others. If we say one thing with our words and another with our face or body, we can end up giving mixed messages and confusing others.

To make sure we are saying what we want to say with our words and our face, body, and tone, help your kids learn how to understand and “speak” non-verbal communications.

Here’s s description of this activity:

“As a family, make a list of different non-verbal actions. For example, folding your arms, snorting, frowning, etc… Select a TV program or a segment of a video. Watch about 5 to 7 minutes of the program with the volume off. While watching the program without volume, identify the different non-verbal messages, especially the feelings that are expressed. After 5 to 7 minutes, turn off the TV and discuss what you observed. You could even carry on the discussion as the program continues.”

To get the discussion started, use questions like:

• What were the non-verbal messages that you observed?
• How important do you think the non-verbal messages are in helping you to enjoy the movie and understand what was going on in the movie?
• Did you observe any confusing non-verbal messages?
• What feelings were expressed through non-verbal communication?
• What were some of the difficulties of this activity?
• What can you do to be more aware of non-verbal messages?
• Did everyone think the non-verbal message meant the same thing?
• Are non-verbal messages always obvious in real life?

If you want more from this exercise, try this follow-up activity. Seat two family members away from each other and have them carry on a conversation about giving directions to somewhere or explaining how to do something. As they talk, they should focus on trying to understand the other person’s feelings.

After doing this for a few minutes, the two should turn around, face each other, and continue the discussion—they will likely find it much easier!

Use the following questions to guide your discussion after the follow-up:

• When you had your backs to each other, did a lack of non-verbal communication affect your ability to communicate with the other person? If so, how?
• What feelings did you experience as you communicated with your back to the other person?
• When you spoke to the other person face-to-face, did this improve your ability to communicate and understand the other person’s feelings? If so, how?
• Did face-to-face communication improve your ability to understand the other person’s feelings?
• How can you increase your awareness of non-verbal messages you do not mean to be sending?
• How can you be aware of how we may misinterpret someone else’s non-verbal messages?”

2. Charades

Charades is a popular game with kids since it’s fun, easy to play, and can result in some seriously silly situations.

Here’s what you need to do:

• Animals: Monkey, dog, cat, rabbit, kangaroo, snake
• Activities: brushing teeth, playing cards, shining a flashlight, fishing, playing frisbee
• Emotions: scared, sad, bored, angry, happy, wary, proud

Acting out these prompts will give kids an opportunity to practice communicating non-verbally, a skill that they can easily build over time (Simmons, n.d.).

This nonverbal communication activity  is available from Sue Simmons at Equinox Family Consulting.

3. Silent Snack

Finally, another activity from Sue Simmons is called “ Silent Snack ” and it gives young children a chance to have fun while building their nonverbal communication skills.

Follow these instructions to give it a try:

• Put out a few different snacks in individual bowls.
• Tell everyone it’s “Silent Snack Time,” meaning there’s no talking allowed!
• Offer each person a taste of each snack.
• Each player should take turns sharing their opinion on each snack. They can use indicators like thumbs up and thumbs down or facial expressions to communicate their opinions.

It’s a simple activity, but an effective one! Give it a try at your next snack time.

17 Exercises To Develop Positive Communication

17 Positive Communication Exercises [PDF] to develop help others develop communication skills for successful social interactions and positive, fulfilling relationships.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

I hope you leave this piece with a treasure trove of new resources you can use to improve your own life or the lives of your clients.

Communication skills are one of the most important skills a person can have, making it well worth your while to devote some time and energy to develop them.

What are your favorite ways to work on communicating with your spouse? Do you schedule a time to talk about how your relationship is doing or do you just let it flow naturally? What do you think are the best ways to build, enhance, and maintain your communication skills? Let us know in the comments section.

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Positive Communication Exercises (PDF) for free .

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• Simmons, S. (n.d.). Nonverbal games: 10 simple activities . Equinox Family Consulting, Ltd. Retrieved from https://equinoxfamilyconsulting.com/communication/nonverbal-games-10-simple-activities/
• Stanfield, J. (2017). 8 tips to teach effective communication skills. James Stanfield. Retrieved from https://stanfield.com/blog/2017/11/8-tips-teach-effective-communication-skills/
• Sott, A. (2018). Teaching communication skills. Edutopia. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/article/teaching-communication-skills
• Tasker, R. (n.d.). 6 amazing couples therapy exercises for improving communication . GuideDoc . Retrieved from https://guidedoc.com/couples-therapy-exercises-for-improving-communication
• Victoria Department of Health & Human Services. (n.d.). Relationships and communications . Better Health Channel. Retrieved from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/relationships-and-communication

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Language for Effectively Communicating Assignments

Language is a critical element in properly communicating the intent of assignments to students. When your assignments are clear, your students are more likely to produce what you want. This teaching tip explains what is really meant by some common task descriptors. When you review the assignment with your students, consider explaining the terms you have used to be sure they understand what you mean. 

Common assignment tasks and task descriptors 

In addition to the suggestions in this table, review CTE Teaching Tip: Bloom’s Taxonomy Learning Activities and Assessments for additional ways to categorize assignment tasks and corresponding verbs or task descriptors.  

Sample task descriptors and what they really mean 

Analyze :  Divide a complex whole into its parts or elements, laying bare parts or pieces for individual scrutiny, so as to discover the true nature or inner relationships. 

Compare : Look for qualities or characteristics that resemble each other. Emphasize similarities among them, but in some cases also mention differences. 

Contrast : Stress the dissimilarities, differences, or unlikeness of things, qualities, events, or problems. 

Criticize : Express your judgment about the merit or truth of the factors or views mentioned. Give the results of your analysis of these factors, discussing their limitations and good points. 

Define : Give concise, clear, and authoritative meanings. Don't give details, but make sure to give the limits of the definition. Show how the thing you are defining differs from things in other classes. 

Describe : Recount, characterize, sketch, or relate in sequence or story form. 

Draw : Give a drawing, chart, plan, or graphic answer. Usually, you should label a diagram. In some cases, add a brief explanatory description. 

Discuss : Examine, analyze carefully, and give reasons pro and con. Be complete and give details. 

Enumerate or list : Write in list or outline form, giving points concisely one by one. 

Evaluate : Carefully appraise the problem, citing both advantages and limitations. Emphasize the appraisal of authorities and, to a lesser degree, your personal evaluation. 

Explain : Clarify, interpret, and spell out the material you present. Give reasons for differences of opinion or of results and try to analyze causes. 

Illustrate : Use a figure, picture, diagram, or concrete example to explain or clarify a problem. 

Interpret : Translate, give examples of, solve, or comment on a subject, usually giving your judgment about it. 

Justify : Prove or give reasons for decisions or conclusions, taking pains to be convincing. 

Outline : Organize a description under main points and subordinate points, omitting minor details and stressing the arrangement or classification of things. 

Prove : Establish that something is true by citing factual evidence or giving clear logical reasons. 

Relate : Show how things are related to, or connected with, each other or how one causes another, correlates with another, or is like another. 

Review : Examine a subject critically, analyzing and commenting on the important statements to be made about it. 

State : Present the main points in brief, clear sequence, usually omitting details, illustrations, or examples. 

Summarize : Give the main points or facts in condensed form, like the summary of a chapter, omitting details and illustrations. 

Trace : In narrative form, describe the progress, development, or historical events from some point of origin. 

Common information sources and considerations for students 

For additional examples of information sources, the Library has useful “Source types” and “Evaluating Information Sources" research guides.  

Web-based : There are many types of online information, including e-journals, websites for various organizations (educational, government, non-profit, etc.), news websites, blogs, and more. When you discuss “web-based” resources, be specific about what sort of online information you are referring to and encourage students to evaluate their sources. 

Scholarly journals:   Articles are long, use terminology or jargon of the discipline, usually begin with an abstract and include a bibliography (e.g., Canadian Journal of Experimental Psychology; Journal of Academic Librarianship; IEEE Transactions on Microwave Theory and Techniques). 

Popular journals :  These are geared towards a more general audience and available on your local newsstand. Articles are short and rarely have bibliographies. (e.g., Maclean’s, Discovery, Psychology Today, Time, Newsweek). 

Peer reviewed (or refereed) journal articles : Explain the process of having experts in the field examine an article before it is published to ensure that the research described is sound and of high quality. Refer students to the Notes for Authors section of a journal to determine if it follows peer review. Alternately, refer students to  the Library’s Peer-reviewed journal articles webpage or UlrichsWeb Global Serials Directory  

Primary sources : These provide firsthand information in the original words of the creator or eyewitness and may include creative works, original documents, reports of original research, or ideas. 

Secondary sources : These provide information reviews and/or, evaluation, analysis, or interpretations of primary sources. 

Current :  Specifically define your boundaries for “current.”  Do you mean “current” as in this week, this year, this decade, this century, etc.? Can students refer to older material at all, if it is relevant? 

Reproduced (with permission of Michael Steven Marx) from Skidmore College, NY:  Common Terms for Paper Topics and Essay Questions with additions and emendations from Centre for Teaching Excellence, University of Waterloo. 

If you would like support applying these tips to your own teaching, CTE staff members are here to help.  View the  CTE Support  page to find the most relevant staff member to contact. 

This Creative Commons license  lets others remix, tweak, and build upon our work non-commercially, as long as they credit us and indicate if changes were made. Use this citation format:  Effectively communicating assignment tasks. Centre for Teaching Excellence, University of Waterloo .

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4.15: Assignment- Communicating in Business

• Last updated
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• Page ID 59064

Your task is to read the statements below and rate your perception of your communication skills.

• Download a PDF of this form here.
• Download a .docx file of this form here.

After rating your skills, write a short response to the following questions (max 500 words)

• What are your strongest and weakest skills?
• How do you think this class will help you improve or  build upon your current communication skill set?

Your task is to write an email to your instructor to introduce yourself. Put your first and last name and the assignment title in the subject line. For example: Maria Ruiz Assignment 1

Your message should address the following:

• Reasons for taking this class
• Your career goals (short term/long term)
• Familiarity with computer technology
• A brief discussion of how you view your current communication skill levels. Were there any parts of the quiz that surprised you? What are your strongest and weakest skills?
• Is there anything in the class/syllabus that worries you? Any topic you are excited about or have extensive experience with?

Grading Rubric

Contributors and attributions.

• Assignment: Communicating in Business. Provided by : Lumen Learning. License : CC BY: Attribution

Resources: Discussions and Assignments

Module 1 assignment: communicating in business.

Your task is to read the statements in the form below and rate your perception of your communication skills.

• Download a PDF of this form here.
• Download a .docx file of this form here.

After rating your skills, write a short response to the following questions (max 500 words)

• What are your strongest and weakest skills?
• How do you think this class will help you improve or  build upon your current communication skill set?

Your task is to write an email introducing yourself. Put your first and last name and the assignment title in the subject line. For example: Maria Ruiz Assignment 1

Your message should address the following:

• Reasons for taking this class
• Your career goals (short term/long term)
• Familiarity with computer technology
• A brief discussion of how you view your current communication skill levels.
• What are your strongest and weakest skills as a writer?

Grading Rubric

• Communicating in Business. Authored by : Lumen Learning. License : CC BY: Attribution

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• Thursday, April 18, 2024
• Today's Paper

Editorial | Letters

Letter: communication blackout worse than power outage.

• Updated 12:05 a.m.

COURTESY HAWAIIAN ELECTRIC CO.

A downed power line fell onto a second transmission line near the Koolau ridgeline, causing a power outage in East Oahu on Sunday.

More than 13,000 of us were subjected to yet another power outage on Sunday. Read more

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More than 13,000 of us were subjected to yet another power outage on Sunday. As frustrating as that was, it’s more frustrating when you can’t get decent estimates for how long the power will be out, or what the cause is.

I first tried to use my phone to pull up Hawaiian Electric’s Oahu power outage map, but that took forever and simply drained battery life. HECO’s website advised me to download its phone app for faster info. Unfortunately, the app can’t be installed on my 2022 Android phone. This kind of service seems to be emblematic of HECO, who doesn’t seem to be bothered much by literally and figuratively leaving their customers in the dark.

Power failures are inevitable, and I appreciate the repair crew’s efforts to restore power. But the corporate folks at HECO need to fix their communications act.

Keith Mattson

EXPRESS YOURSELF

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>> Contact: 529-4831 (phone), [email protected], staradvertiser.com/editorial/submit-letter

Letter: Define victory in Ukraine before sending more aid