writing assignments for lying

33 Writing Prompts about Lying

People, even school aged children, can tell when they’re being lied to.

So, when it’s something small, like a student telling another that they aren’t having a birthday party, even though they are and that student isn’t invited, feelings are still going to be hurt.

That impact, however, most students don’t notice until years down the road. So, they need to be opened up to understanding how lying impacts other people and themselves.

How to Use These Prompts

These prompts on lying are a great way to teach a class about a moral issue, and open up your student’s thoughts on honesty. Because of this, there are a few different approaches that you may want to take with these prompts.

The first is as part of a one-day unit. This would take up a portion of a day to focus on these prompts and honesty as a whole.

They could also be done, using less class time in a given day, but for a longer stretch of time on the calendar. For instance, using one prompt a week would help to keep students thinking about lying over the course of the entire school year.

There are two basic ways to approach the prompts.

They can either be done as a writing prompt that students keep to themselves, and use to self-reflect.

The other is as a group, where students come together to discuss their answers, which opens them up to new ideas on the topic. Either way, the goal is to make them think deeper about lying.

The Prompts on Lying:

Here are the 33 prompts:

What is a lie?
What is a white lie? Is it different from a lie?
Do you want to be called a liar? Why or why not?
Is it easier to lie or tell the truth? Why?
Why is it so difficult to remember lies?
Is it a lie if you said you would do something, tried to do it, but failed? Why or why not?
What does it mean to be misleading? Is this different from lying?
Can a statistic be misleading? If so, how?
What is the worst lie you ever told? What happened?
How do you feel when you tell a lie?
How does it feel to be lied to?
How often do you lie? Why?
Is it ever ok to lie? Why or why not?
Think about characters from books, TV, and movies who have lied. Did it work out for them? Why or why not?
Are lying and cheating similar in any way? How so?
What makes it difficult to be honest?
Do you feel better after telling the truth or getting away with a lie? Why?
Is keeping a secret the same as a lie? Why or why not?
Would it be better to lie to someone, or tell them the truth that might upset them? Why?
Is leaving out extra information the same as lying? Why or why not?
There is a crime called perjury, which makes it illegal to lie in court. Why is this law important?
One of the rights granted by the fifth amendment to the U.S. Constitution is the right against self-incrimination. In other words, you don’t have to admit to committing a crime. Is this the same as lying? Why is this right important?
What does it mean to be honest?
How can the reputation of being a liar hurt you?
What does it mean to be a person of your word? Why does that matter?
Why does telling the truth seem more difficult than telling a lie? What is more difficult in the long-term?
Why might honesty be the best policy?
Are there people in your life that you don’t trust? Why?
How does someone lying to you change your opinion of them?
Do companies and people lie in their advertisements? Why would they do that?
James Altucher said, “Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.” What did he mean by this?
What would the world be like if everyone always told the truth?
What would the world be like if no one ever told the truth?

Looking for More Information?

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This makes it great for sharing with any friends and colleagues who might be interested. 😉 Hint hint, nudge nudge! (It helps more than you can imagine, so thank you so much for sharing!)

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44 Writing Prompts About Lying

We all know honesty is the best policy, but let’s be real, everyone tells a lie once in a while. Whether it’s a little white lie to save someone’s feelings or a full-on whopper that spirals out of control, lying is a fascinating part of being human.

And that’s where we come in!

As storytellers, we can dig into the why behind the lie.

What makes people stretch the truth?

What kind of mess can a tiny lie create?

These prompts are gonna get you thinking about honesty, deception, and that whole gray area in between.

So, grab your pen (or keyboard) and get ready to explore the world of truth bombs and tall tales!

Let’s go.

Writing Prompts About Lying

Imagine you are a private investigator who is known for an uncanny ability to detect lies. Your latest case involves a client who insists they’re telling the truth, but your instincts scream otherwise. The prompt revolves around your investigation to unearth the truth while dealing with your instincts. Write about your struggle to trust your instincts or to believe in your client’s story.
You’re a teenager who discovers that your entire life has been a lie, including your identity and the people you believed were your family . In your pursuit to find your real identity, you come across a series of unexpected truths. Your task is to convey the journey of self-discovery , the feeling of betrayal , and the eventual acceptance or rejection of the truth.
In a twist of fate, you, a renowned author famous for your realistic characters , wake up as a character in your own book . The catch is that the character you’re living as is notorious for lying, something you as an author had created. Narrate your experience as you grapple with the habit of lying and its consequences in your newly found reality.
Imagine a world where every lie leaves a visible mark on the liar’s body. You wake up one day to find your body covered in these marks, but you have no memory of telling so many lies. Embark on a journey to recall the lies you told and understand why you lied in the first place.
You are an undercover agent in a hostile country. You’ve lived a lie for years, creating an alternate identity. Suddenly, your cover is in danger of being blown because of a small, innocent lie told to your neighbor. Detail your mission to safeguard your identity, maintain your cover and protect national interests.
In a society where lying for the sake of kindness is valued more than brutal honesty, you are someone who can’t lie. Despite the negative repercussions, you insist on telling the truth. Explore how you navigate through this society, the relationships you form, and the impact of your radical honesty.
You are a tech whiz who has developed an AI that can detect lies with 100 % accuracy. However, the AI starts behaving strangely and accuses you of lying when you’re sure you’re telling the truth. The prompt revolves around your struggle with the AI, the dilemma of trusting your creation, and the quest to find out if you’re indeed lying without realizing it.
In this essay , discuss the role of lying in social relationships. Often, people tell “white lies” to preserve feelings or maintain harmony. Explore the implications of such lies, whether they do more harm than good, and how they affect the dynamics of relationships in different societal and cultural contexts.
Consider the ethical considerations of lying. Does the end justify the means when it comes to lying? Discuss various scenarios, such as lying to protect someone, lying to avoid trouble, or lying to gain an advantage. What moral guidelines, if any, should govern the act of lying?
Write about the psychological reasons behind why people lie. Some lie to protect others, some lie out of fear , and some may lie as a part of a psychological disorder. Explore these varied reasons, the psychological impact of lying on the liar, and how it can affect their mental health .
Analyze the depiction of lying in literature and media . How have different books, movies , or TV shows presented lying, and how has it impacted the narrative or character development? Reflect on the message these depictions send to the audience.
Focus on the consequences of lying in a professional environment. From padded resumes to false financial reports, lies in a professional setting can have significant repercussions. Discuss these potential outcomes and reflect on the importance of honesty in professional life.
Explore the concept of “Lying by Omission.” This happens when crucial details are left out to alter the truth. Discuss the ethical implications of this type of deception and the situations where it is often found.
Write about the role of truth and deception in politics. From campaign promises to political rhetoric, lies can play a significant part. Analyze the impact of these deceptions on the public’s trust and the overall political landscape.
Examine how technology has affected our ability to lie and detect lies. With the rise of digital communication , AI, and deepfakes, the line between truth and deception is increasingly blurred. Discuss the implications of this on society, law, and interpersonal relations.
Write an essay examining the relationship between lying and power . Does lying give people power, or does it make them more vulnerable? Use examples from history , politics, or corporate culture to bolster your argument .
Explore the philosophical implications of lying. How do different philosophical theories and schools of thought approach the concept of lying? Is there a situation where lying could be considered morally acceptable or even necessary according to certain philosophical viewpoints?
Discuss how children learn the concept of lying and how it shapes their moral and social development. How do children differentiate between truth and lies, and what are the long-term impacts of their early experiences with deception?
Examine the role of lying in conflict and conflict resolution. From diplomatic negotiations to personal relationships, lies can either exacerbate conflicts or serve as a tool to resolve them. Discuss these different scenarios and the ethical implications therein.
Write an essay about the impact of lying on a person’s self-concept and identity. How does frequent lying affect the way individuals see themselves and their place in the world? Delve into the psychological and social effects of such behavior.
Explore the cultural perceptions of lying across different societies. How do different cultures interpret and react to lying? Does the acceptability of lying differ based on cultural norms, and if so, how?
Analyze how the act of lying changes in the digital age. Consider phenomena like catfishing, online scamming, fake news , and manipulated digital content. Discuss their implications on trust, relationships, and society at large.
Discuss the neurological aspects of lying. What happens in our brains when we lie? Explore recent scientific studies about the mental processes involved in deception, and discuss what these findings mean for our understanding of human behavior.
Discuss the historical evolution of lying in human society. How have attitudes towards lying changed throughout different historical periods and why? What societal factors have influenced these shifts?
Write an essay on the psychological consequences of being lied to. Explore the emotional impact and the potential trauma that can occur when one is deceived, and how it affects trust in future relationships.
Discuss how lying plays a role in survival , using examples from the natural world. Many animals use deception as a survival strategy; can parallels be drawn to human behavior?
Delve into the relationship between lying and creativity . Some argue that the ability to construct believable lies indicates a high level of creativity and imagination. Is lying a dark side of creativity, or are the two not as closely related as they seem?
Examine the role of lying in storytelling and narratives. From fiction to autobiographies, how do lies shape narratives, and what role do they play in the reader’s engagement and interpretation of the story?
Write about the concept of collective lies or societal myths . Explore how societies or groups can collectively believe or propagate a lie, the purpose these lies serve, and the potential harm they can cause .
Discuss the strategies for combating the spread of lies, focusing on fact-checking and critical thinking. How effective are these techniques, and how can they be improved or incorporated more widely in education and media consumption?
Explore the concept of “noble lies” in philosophy and ethics. These are lies that are, theoretically, told for the greater good or to maintain societal order. Do the potential benefits justify the deception?
Write an essay on how different religions view lying. How do various religious texts and teachings approach the topic of lies and truth, and what moral lessons do they convey about deception?
Discuss how the law views and handles lying in different contexts. What legal consequences can lies have, from perjury to defamation, and do these penalties serve as effective deterrents?
Write an essay on the sociological implications of lying in a community . How does lying affect the social fabric of a community, and what roles does it play in the formation of social norms and values ?
Explore the concept of lying to oneself or self-deception. What are the psychological reasons and consequences of this, and how does it influence a person’s perception of reality and self-identity?
Discuss the use of lies in marketing and advertising. How do companies bend the truth to sell their products, and what are the ethical implications of such practices?
Delve into the role of lies in maintaining or breaking societal hierarchies. How are lies used to uphold power structures, and conversely, how can they be used to challenge and dismantle them?
Analyze the cultural implications of lying within specific subcultures, such as youth culture, corporate culture, or even internet culture. How are lies viewed, used, and dealt with in these different cultural spaces?
Discuss the correlation between lying and technological advancement. With the rise of deepfakes, artificial intelligence, and other technologies, what new forms of deception are emerging, and what do they mean for the future of truth and authenticity?
Write about the role of lying in espionage and intelligence. Delve into the ethical considerations and the potential fallout when lies are discovered. Use real-life cases from history to add depth to your discussion.
Explore the concept of ‘harmless lies’. Are there truly instances where a lie can be harmless, or do all lies carry potential harm because they distort the truth? Discuss the potential implications of such lies on both personal and societal levels.
Discuss the differences between a lie and an exaggeration. Both involve a departure from the truth, but they are often perceived differently. Analyze why this is the case and whether or not one is more ethically acceptable than the other.
Examine the intersection of lying and technology in online dating. From deceptive profile pictures to falsified personal information, discuss the reasons behind these lies and their impact on interpersonal relationships.
Write about the act of lying in politics and its impact on democracy. Discuss the historical and contemporary instances where political leaders have misled the public, the reasons for such deceptions, and the potential consequences for democratic societies.

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11+ Honesty Worksheets & Tests for Adults (+ PDF)

Honesty Worksheets, Activities & Tests: Honesty & Integrity in Therapy

“Honesty is the best policy.”

– Benjamin Franklin

Benjamin Franklin seems to think so, but he also said this:

“Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.”

Benjamin Franklin

Now, the “wrong thing” referred to in this quote may sometimes be a lie, but the wise Franklin also knew that telling the truth with no filter is a practice that is sure to end in pain—for you, for another, or for all those involved!

So, is honesty always the best policy? When would it not be the best policy? These are questions many people have asked over countless years.

As such, there are a lot of different ideas about what honesty is, the morality of honesty vs. lying, and how honest one should really be in practice. Some people endorse little white lies, while others condemn them. Some say that lying is fine if it protects an innocent person, while others believe there is never a good reason to lie. It can be tough to navigate between all of these contrasting ideas about honesty.

For this piece, we delved into the theories and philosophies behind honesty and gathered some of the best resources for teaching and encouraging this character trait. Hopefully, this information will help you figure out where you stand on this interesting subject, and what kind of honesty you would like to strive for!

Before you continue, we thought you might like to download our three Strengths Exercises for free . These detailed, science-based exercises will help you or your clients realize your unique potential and create a life that feels energized and authentic.

This Article Contains:

Definition & meaning of honesty, theory: radical honesty and more, assessing honesty: test and scale, teaching honesty & integrity: examples, stories, quotes & songs, 3 honesty worksheets (pdf) for adults, 5 honesty activities for children & teens, 3 honesty worksheets (pdf) for children & teens, a take-home message.

Honesty is more than not lying. It is truth telling, truth speaking, truth living, and truth loving.

James E. Faust

What is honesty?

The answer you get to this question will depend on who you ask.

There is a general understanding of what honesty is in society, but there’s plenty of room to dive into what really constitutes honesty.

To some, honesty may be defined by its synonyms, such as fairness, straightforwardness, sincerity, integrity, or trustworthiness (“Honesty”, 2016).

To others, honesty may be “ speaking the truth and abiding by the rules ” (Borghini, 207).

To others still, the definition of honesty may be “ never faking reality in order to gain a value ” (Biddle, 2013).

Honesty can be understood as an act (e.g., speaking the truth, refusing to lie), a trait (e.g., authenticity), and a disposition (e.g., tendency or habit to be forthcoming with relevant truths), among other things.

However you conceptualize honesty, you likely agree that at least some level of honesty is an important trait to cultivate. Being honest with others is essential for creating and maintaining healthy relationships, and being honest with yourself is vital for personal development and growth, as well as self-acceptance and self-esteem (Durham, 2017).

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Honest is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure.

James Altucher

Since it’s difficult to reach unanimous agreement on the very definition of honesty, it should come as no surprise that there are many theories and philosophies on honesty. These theories pose and answer questions like:

What does it mean to be honest?
How important is honesty?
Is it immoral to be dishonest?
Is dishonesty every acceptable?

As with any other complex and significant topic, people have come up with a wide variety of responses to these questions, some of which are diametrically opposed to others.

To give you an idea of the spectrum across which these theories fall, three will be presented: one at or near each end of the spectrum, and one that lies somewhere in the middle. Think of the spectrum as “absolute honesty” at the left end and “absolute dishonesty” at the right end, something like this:

Absolute Honesty <———————————- Mixed ———————————-> Absolute Dishonesty

Radical Honesty

Although most people agree that honesty is at least somewhat important, there is a group that places a great deal of importance on being honest—not just mostly honest, but completely honest at all times and in all interactions—with one important exception (Jacobs, 2007). These people would be placed near the extreme “always tell the truth” end of the spectrum.

This total honesty is the referred to as “radical honesty.” Those who dedicate themselves to radical honesty commit to removing all lies, both big and small, from their interactions with others. This total honesty is adopted with the hopes of improving their relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners, as well as an overall boost to quality of life .

As mentioned earlier, practitioners of radical honesty make only one exception to their commitment to total honesty—when telling the truth would result in terrible consequences for someone who does not deserve it (think lying to the Nazis to protect Anne Frank and her family).

With this exception, those who subscribe to radical honesty avoid the absolute extreme “truth” end of the spectrum; the only people to the left of the radical honesty folks are those who are known as “deontologists.”

Deontologists subscribe to the idea that every act is either right or wrong, regardless of its consequences (“Lying”, 2014). Lying is always wrong, therefore even lying with the best of intentions is still wrong. Radical honesty might not seem quite as radical in comparison to these rigid truth-tellers!

To learn more about radical honesty, visit the website at http://radicalhonesty.com/ . You can also hear about the life-enhancing potential of practicing radical honesty straight from Dr. Blanton, the founder of the radical honesty approach, in this TEDx Talk.

Utilitarian View on Honesty

Utilitarians, also known as consequentialists, generally see lying and dishonesty as immoral and unacceptable; however, they see honesty and dishonesty as a problem with shades of gray rather than a thick line differentiating black from white (“Lying”, 2014).

Those who subscribe to utilitarianism assess the “rightness” or “wrongness” of an action by considering the consequences of the action; if something good comes out of an action, it is probably right, while an action that produces bad or harmful results is likely wrong.

Some utilitarians judge each potential lie separately, evaluating the expected consequences of the act and determining its rightness or wrongness independently of any other lies. Others might follow a set of rules to help them determine when a lie is right and when it is wrong, rather than considering each case separately.

The main thing that separates utilitarians from each end of the spectrum is the belief that sometimes it is right to tell the truth, and sometimes it is right to lie.

Ethical Egoism

Now that we’ve explored the left end of the spectrum and the middle point of the spectrum, let’s turn our focus to the right end.

Those towards the “dishonest” end of the spectrum have a different view on honesty altogether—namely, they don’t believe honesty has any inherent morality. Utilitarians may justify lying in some cases, but justification requires expectations that the good that comes out of lying will outweigh the inherent “wrongness” of lying.

Ethical egoists have no such qualms with determining the rightness or wrongness of dishonesty; in their view, honesty is not automatically good and dishonesty is not automatically bad (Moseley, n.d.).

The only measure of whether something is “good” or “bad,” “right” or “wrong,” is whether it contributes to one’s own self-interest. Therefore, if telling a lie gets you ahead, it is the right thing to do. If telling the truth hinders you, it is the wrong thing to do.

Unsurprisingly, not many people openly adhere to this philosophy of honesty, although it’s worth noting how often we see examples of this philosophy in action.

Although there are clearly many ways to approach honesty, it’s necessary to settle on a general idea of meaning. For the purposes of this article, we’ll go with a fairly generic, but unobjectionable, idea of honesty to mean being:

True (Durham, 2017)

Now that we’ve decided what honesty is, we come to another important question: How do we measure or assess honesty?

What criteria should we use to determine whether someone is honest or not? How do we know if someone is committed to or complacent about honesty?

There are a few ways to assess honesty and/or beliefs about honesty. We’ll cover the most widely used ones below.

General Trust Scale

The General Trust Scale was developed by researchers Yamagashi and Yamagashi in 1994. This scale will not provide an answer about how honest or trustworthy the respondent is, but it will provide other valuable information—how trustworthy they find others, which is an important insight into their own relationship with honesty.

This scale includes only six items, scored on a scale from 1 (Strongly Disagree) to 5 (Strongly Agree). The six items are as follows:

Most people are basically honest.
Most people are trustworthy.
Most people are basically good and kind.
Most people are trustful of others.
I am trustful.
Most people will respond in kind when they are trusted by others.

A person’s responses to these items are averaged to produce a general score (between 1 and 5) of his or her belief in the honesty and trustworthiness of others.

Trust in People Scale

Similar to the General Trust Scale, the Trust in People Scale provides a measure of the respondent’s general level of trust towards other people (1964 Election Study). It was first established in a 1964 post-election study, and it has been used in national surveys ever since.

There are only three items, and each presents only two options: a high trust option and a low trust option. The items and their response options are as follows:

Generally speaking, would you say that most people can be trusted or that you can’t be too careful in dealing with people? a. Most people can be trusted b. Can’t be too careful
Would you say that most of the time, people try to be helpful, or that they are mostly just looking out for themselves? a. Try to be helpful b. Look out for themselves
Do you think that most people would try to be fair or take advantage of you if they got the chance? a. Try to be fair b. Take advantage

For each question, option a is the high-trust option and option b is the low-trust option. The high-trust option is worth one point, while the low-trust option is worth zero points. To produce a score of trust in people, sum the points for each question. The score will be between 0 and 3, with 3 representing the highest level of trust in others and 0 representing the lowest level of trust in others.

HEXACO Personality Inventory-Revised

Unlike the previous two scales, this scale will provide an assessment of the respondent’s own honesty rather than their sense of the honesty of others.

The HEXACO model is quite similar to the Big Five model of personality , although it adds one factor and differs slightly on the other factors.

The Big Five factors are:

Openness to Experience
Conscientiousness
Extroversion
Agreeableness
Neuroticism

The HEXACO factors include:

Honesty-Humility
Emotionality (analogous to Big Five’s Neuroticism)
Agreeableness (vs. Anger)
Openness to Experience (Lee & Ashton, 2009)

In case you’re not familiar with the Big Five factors, we’ll go over them briefly before covering the added factor in the HEXACO model.

Openness to experience can be understood as the personality factor that determines how open and accepting a person is of new experiences, bold thinking, and being vulnerable with others.

Conscientiousness refers to a person’s tendency towards controlling their impulses and acting in socially acceptable ways.

Extroversion is a widely known factor that has an equally well-known flipside: introversion. Extroversion (vs. introversion) concerns a person’s source of energy; extroverts derive energy from interacting with others, while introverts recharge when they are alone.

Agreeableness is generally understood as to how well a person gets along with others, or how easily they interact successfully with others.

Neuroticism (or Emotionality) refers to a person’s general sense of self-esteem, self-confidence, and emotional stability.

Finally, the factor that you are probably not so familiar with is the Honesty-Humility factor. This factor covers the respondent’s willingness to manipulate others for personal gain, a tendency towards breaking the rules, or a sense of entitlement. Those who score high in this factor are more inclined to be honest and humble, while those low in this factor are likely to show less concern for truth and modesty.

The HEXACO Personality Inventory-Revised, or HEXACO PI-R, includes 100 items and produces a score for each of the six personality factors. Items are rated by respondents on a scale from 1 (strongly disagree) to 5 (strongly agree). Respondents are instructed to provide an answer for each item, even if they are not entirely sure of their answer.

Each item corresponds to one of the factors. We’d rather not inundate you with items, so we’ll simply provide a sample item from each factor for you to look over:

Honesty-Humility Factor

“If I want something from a person I dislike, I will act very nicely toward that person in order to get it.”

Emotionality Factor

“When I suffer from a painful experience, I need someone to make me feel comfortable.”

Extroversion Factor

“In social situations, I’m usually the one who makes the first move.”

Agreeableness Factor

“I am usually quite flexible in my opinions when people disagree with me.”

Conscientiousness Factor

“I make decisions based on the feeling of the moment rather than on careful thought.”

Openness to Experience Factor

“I’m interested in learning about the history and politics of other countries.”

As you may have noticed when considering the sample conscientiousness item, some items are reverse-scored. Once the proper items have been reverse-scored, take the average of all items per factor to produce an overall score for each factor. Higher scores indicate a greater tendency towards each personality trait, while lower scores indicate greater levels of each trait’s opposite.

To learn more about the HEXACO PI-R, visit the website .

Teaching Honesty & Integrity: Examples, Stories, Quotes & Songs

No legacy is so rich as honesty.

William Shakespeare

Now that we have a good understanding of what honesty is and how we can measure it as a personality trait , we can move on to the next important question: How do we teach it?

Ask any teacher and he or she will tell you that teaching character traits is difficult! It’s not as easy as teaching grammar, arithmetic, or history, but it is certainly not impossible. There are many strategies, tips, and suggestions for teaching a character trait like honesty.

Parenting expert Joanne Stern provides three good guidelines to follow when teaching your children honesty (2011):

Talk with your children, early and often, about the value of honesty.
Model honesty for your children, through your words and your actions.
Focus more on encouraging and appreciating honesty than on punishing dishonesty.

Once your kids reach an age at which they can tell the difference between telling the truth and telling a lie, you can begin instilling the value of honesty. They may not completely understand the value of honesty yet, but they can learn that they are expected to tell the truth and that they must face the consequences if they do not.

Follow these tips to help your child learn to be honest:

Avoid labels. Don’t call your child a liar.
Don’t ask questions when you already know the answer; this will only set them up to lie.
Work with your child to reduce any unnecessary stress that may be weighing them down and encouraging them to lie.
Avoid emphasizing bad behavior; try to bring up your child’s good behavior rather than their bad behavior.
Find out why your child is fibbing; there may be important reasons that you don’t know about.
Praise truth-telling instead of just punishing dishonesty.
Don’t forget “little white lies.” Encourage your child to be honest, but not brutally and unnecessarily honest.
Teach your child that lying doesn’t work; it’s never a good way to get what you want.
Keep your cool—don’t overreact or yell if your child lies.
Set a good example. The best way to teach honesty is to be honest (VanClay, 2017).

While these tips and suggestions are meant for parents, many of them can also be practiced by teachers and other caretakers as well. In addition, there are many other strategies for teaching honesty.

Stories are an excellent way to teach children honesty. There are some classic stories that can be used to encourage truth-telling, such as The Boy Who Cried Wolf .

In this short story, a boy comes up with a story about a wolf trying to eat his sheep. He receives a lot of attention from others but is ultimately found out. Later, a wolf actually shows up to take his sheep, but nobody believes him because he lied about it before. This story not only encourages children to tell the truth but shows them why lying may backfire!

The Honest Woodcutter is another good story for teaching that honesty can come with its own rewards. It describes a poor woodcutter who loses his axe in the river. He’s very upset because he has no money to buy a new one. Suddenly, a fairy appears in the river and presents a golden axe, saying “ I found this axe in the river; is it yours? ”

The woodcutter answers honestly, saying the axe is not his. The fairy then presents him with a silver axe, but the woodcutter again tells the fairy that this was not his axe. When the fairy presents him with his own wood axe, he replies that it is his, and thanks the fairy for giving him his axe. The fairy, seeing that the man is so honest, gives him all three axes as a reward.

For more ideas on stories, you can use to teach honesty and other character traits, follow this link .

Along with these stories, you can come up with your own, personalized stories for encouraging honesty in children you teach or take care of.

In addition to stories, there are many books that can be used to teach honesty. Some books you will need to read with your child, and others your child may be able to read on his or her own.

A few good examples are:

Sam Tells Stories by Thierry Robberecht
The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia McKissack
Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire by Diane deGroat
The Boy Who Cried Bigfoot by Scott Magoon
Little Croc’s Purse by Lizzie Findlay

For more suggestions on books that encourage honesty in children, click here .

For older children in particular, sometimes a good quote can help them understand the importance of honesty in a way that they hadn’t understood before.

Try sharing these quotes with the children you teach or care for, and discuss what they mean.

If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.

This quote shows that it may actually be easier to tell the truth than to lie.

Make yourself an honest man, and then you may be sure there is one less rascal in the world.

Thomas Carlyle

Use this quote to emphasize that being honest is not only important on an individual level but contributes to a better and more honest society.

A half truth is a whole lie.

Yiddish Proverb

This quote serves to underscore that leaving out important details can be considered a lie, even if you offer parts of the truth.

When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback.

Bill Copeland

This quote can be used to let children know that, in addition to being wrong, lying can also have some very negative unintended consequences.

If your child is more of an auditory learner, try one of these fun songs about the importance of honesty.

Truth Song (Honesty Song)

All About Honesty

Honesty (for Kindergarteners)

Recovering Your Honesty honesty worksheets

Spotting Good Traits

This worksheet is intended to help the user identify specific traits, but you could also begin with a specific trait (i.e., honesty) and work your way from there.

The worksheet lists 7 questions for you to answer:

Name a favorite person or leader who demonstrates great character.
What character traits does this person have?
How does this person show these character traits?
What character traits are most important for good leaders to have? Why?
What character trait do you need to work on most? How will you develop it?
List a trait, then how the trait is demonstrated.
Make a poem, song, poster, or story about the importance of good character.

Instead of answering the first question then moving on to the second, identify honesty as the answer to the second question and then identify a leader that displays honesty.

The worksheet was designed for children and adolescents, but adults will certainly find valuable insight through completing this worksheet as well.

Download the Spotting Good Traits worksheet.

Using “I” Statements

Honest communication can often go out the window when we’re feeling blamed, guilty, or defensive. It’s easy to say things we regret and don’t truly mean when emotions are high, but “I” statements can be an alternative, healthier, and more positive way to express ourselves.

This sheet provides a simple formula for “I” statements, as well as examples of how they are used.

These assertive, honest sentence stems can be used to express how you feel while highlighting the specifics of a challenge that you’d like to address.

For example, “ You upset me when… ” might become “ I feel upset when…”

Using “I” Statements includes example situations that you can use to practice creating your own “I” sentences.

Try out the I-Statements exercise.

Valued Living Questionnaire

As a VIA character strength, honesty falls within the Courage virtue category. Alongside speaking and the truth and acting with integrity, it’s described as:

“ Present[ing] yourself in a genuine and sincere way, without pretense, and taking responsibility for your feelings and actions.”

The Valued Living Questionnaire, available as a tool in the Positive Psychology Toolkit© , is designed for any character strength (or strengths) that you consider important, but it can easily be applied to honesty alone.

This Toolkit assessment can be used to gauge the extent to which you live in line with honesty as a value.

It can provide some useful insights into how you might increase your commitment to living honestly and is a great way to set some objectives within this larger goal and measure your progress over time

The questionnaire considers different life domains in which you can live with honesty, such as in your marriage or intimate relationship, at work, and with friends.

Virtues Sharing Circle honesty worksheets

Below, several effective activities are listed that can be successfully applied in classrooms, small groups, and even at home. If you’re interested in seeing more honesty activities, quotes, and questions scroll to the second page of this honesty worksheet .

In a group of children, select two people to play a part in a role-play.

The first person will role-play a pie salesperson who is dishonest. They will try to make a big impression on the listeners, with exaggerated claims about the pie they are selling.

The second person will also role-play a pie salesperson, but one who is honest instead. They will tell the truth about their pie without exaggerating or sidestepping inconvenient facts.

The group should watch and listen carefully, and prepare to discuss after the role-plays are finished.

Finally, an adult will guide the group through a discussion of the differences between the two salespeople, and what it was like listening to each. The group will likely agree that the second salesperson seemed more trustworthy and that they would like to buy a pie from this person rather than the first salesperson.

Virtues Sharing Circle

This is a great activity for children that may be shy speaking in groups. It’s also a good way to connect personal experience with the practice of being honest.

Break the group into pairs, and have each pair sit together, apart from the other children.

One partner should begin by sharing a time when he did not practice honesty, and how it felt. Next, he should share a time he did practice honesty, and how that felt.

The second partner should listen attentively and acknowledge the virtue displayed by the other person in their honesty story.

When the first partner has shared both stories, the partners should switch roles and repeat the exercise.

Drawing Honesty

This is the simplest of activities—all you need to do is direct the children to draw an example of someone practicing honesty!

Engaging in an artistic and creative exercise such as this is a good way to get children actively engaged in thinking about honesty. The drawings will be as unique as the child, and no two will look exactly the same.

Have each child share their drawing and explain the situation it depicts to the group.

Is This Honesty?

This activity is customizable for different kindergarten- or school-age kids. For the first, you will need large cards that say “Truth” and “Lie,” or posted on opposite sides of the classroom, as well as a line that divides the room in half.

From here, it’s as simple as reading out or thinking up some statements that are either honest or dishonest. Ask your young students to decide which statement is true or a lie, then step over to the side of the room with the correct sign.

The second part of this game, Is This Honesty? uses two cards that read “ Strongly Agree ” and “ Strongly Disagree ” – this time, the room isn’t divided so clearly!

Begin the activity by delivering the following instructions:

“ Today, we’ll be sharing our thoughts on three different scenarios. Your team will head to the wall somewhere between these two cards depending on how much agree or disagree with the character’s behavior in each situation. If you’re undecided, stay in the center of the room or halfway between the two cards. ”

Next, split the class into three teams of roughly equal size and follow these directions for each story:

Read the scenario.
Pose the three questions and have the students in the group walk to the sign that corresponds with their agreement or disagreement with the characters’ actions. Then ask a couple of the students why they chose to stand where they did. Have the group return to their seats.
Ask the class any further questions you feel are appropriate, and write the responses on the board, if you’d like.

You’ll find the stories and instructions in Is This Honesty worksheet.

Cake Demonstration

For this activity, first, make sure the children all have permission to eat plain cake and ensure that no one is allergic! In addition to the cake, you will need chocolate frosting and salt.

Give everyone a small bowl of plain cake and have them taste it. Ask them how it tastes.

Next, explain that lying has the potential to ruin good things. Have each child dump some salt on their cake, and taste it again. It will probably not taste good!

Finally, have them cover the salt with chocolate syrup and taste it once again. Explain that the salt is like telling a lie—even if you do something good after you lie, you can never undo the damage you caused. Dishonesty cannot be covered up and forgotten about (Simple at Home, 2017).

It might be a good idea to have some backup cake for the children to enjoy after tasting the salted cake!

3 Honesty Worksheets (PDF) for Children & Teens

If you like the idea of the activities above, but need something a little more structured, these worksheets and handouts may be exactly what you’re looking for.

Three great resources for teaching children and teens about honesty are described below.

Honesty: Why, How, and What?

This basic worksheet can be used to introduce children to the concept of honesty as a character trait.

It provides an explanation of honesty – which is more than “not lying” and engages them in the why, how, and what of integrity.

Some questions include:

What are three ways you can show honesty?
Why do you think it matters, to be honest? and
How do you think other people feel when you are not honest?

On the back of this sheet, students are invited to create their own poster or classroom rules about this important character trait.

Click to download Honesty – Why, How, and What .

Are You Honest?

This set of worksheets presents several honesty-related scenarios for your child or adolescent to consider and respond to.

First, the child is presented with this scenario: his or her classmate is copying their homework and asks the child to tell their teacher that he didn’t get any help.

The child’s task is to consider their options and come up with possible negative consequences if the teacher finds out they lied, and the possible positive consequences of telling the teacher the truth.

Next, the child is asked to imagine that they have done something awful and are suffering from a guilty conscience. Their choices are to keep quiet or talk to a parent or responsible adult and consider the consequences of each choice.

Third, they’re asked to imagine that they’ve seen a friend put a candy bar into their pocket without paying for it. Their options are to tell the shopkeeper or protect their friend.

Finally, the last worksheet puts the ball in the child’s court. She is instructed to come up with her own scenario where she might be tempted to be dishonest, write down two possible actions, and consider the consequences of each action.

Completing these worksheets will help the child learn about the consequences of dishonesty, and consider both the personal and relational repercussions of his choice.

You can see the Are You Honest worksheet here.

Doing The Right Thing

Another simple exercise, Doing The Right Thing is perfect for younger kids. It asks them to reflect on the things they say and do to show honesty, then invites them to consider some integrity goals they’d like to achieve.

One question, for example, asks: “ I act honestly when I’m with my parents. ”

The child can choose between Sometimes, Never, and Always, then use the space below to brainstorm a positive honesty goal for doing the right thing, or being more accountable.

17 Exercises To Discover & Unlock Strengths

Use these 17 Strength-Finding Exercises [PDF] to help others discover and leverage their unique strengths in life, promoting enhanced performance and flourishing.

Created by Experts. 100% Science-based.

I hope you have found this exploration of honesty as interesting as I did. It’s fascinating how many different ways there are to think about honesty and the myriad answers to some of the most significant questions about honesty, such as

What does it mean to be truly honest?
Is it always wrong to be dishonest?
Is it always right to be honest?

If you haven’t given these questions much thought before now, I encourage you to dive into the theories and philosophies on telling the truth. It makes for some great reading and some even better self-reflection !

What are your answers to these questions? Which philosophy do you think gets it right on honesty? How do you encourage honesty in your children? Let us know in the comments section!

Thanks for reading!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don’t forget to download our three Strengths Exercises for free .

1964 Election Study. Ann Arbor, Michigan: Inter-University Consortium for Political Research, University of Michigan.
Durham, J. (2017). Integrity and honesty: Important attributes. Life Coach Expert. Retrieved from http://www.lifecoachexpert.co.uk/integrityhonestyimportantattributes.html
Jacobs, A. J. (2007). I think you’re fat. Esquire. Retrieved from http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/a26792/honesty0707/
“Lying.” (2014). BBC Ethics Guide. Retrieved from http://www.bbc.co.uk/ethics/lying/lying_1.shtml
Moseley, A. (n.d.). Egoism. International Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Retrieved from http://www.iep.utm.edu/egoism/
www.randomactsofkindness.org
Simple at Home. (2017). Teaching children about honesty w/ free printable worksheets. Simple at Home. Retrieved from http://simpleathome.com/teaching-children-about-honesty
Stern, J. S. (2011). Teaching your kids to be honest. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/parenting-is-contact-sport/201103/teaching-your-kids-be-honest
www.therapistaid.com
VanClay, M. (2017). The honest child: How to teach honesty (ages 6 to 8). Baby Center. Retrieved from https://www.babycenter.com/0_the-honest-child-how-to-teach-honesty-ages-6-to-8_67924.bc
VIA Institute on Character. (2020). Character Strengths – Honesty. Retrieved from https://www.viacharacter.org/character-strengths/honesty

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What our readers think.

I greatly enjoyed the article on 11+ Honesty Worksheets. This is a wonderful resource! I’d like to use the Spotting Good Traits as a handout for business workers that I will be presenting on Integrity and Professional Self Care (as part of my job). I am unsure if I need permission by the Author to copy and also hand out this worksheet exercise, as it was not posted easily to find. I appreciate your assistance with this question, so I can document this as well.

Thank you for your question. The ‘Spotting Good Traits’ worksheet is free for you to download and use and no further permission is needed!

Best of luck with your presentation.

Kind regards, – Caroline | Community Manager

Thank you so much for these resources just downloaded them now and i hope they will change the way i encourage my students.

A very interesting article, I also recently published a book on this topic, by the way, here is a link to my blog – https://aliciaortego.com/honesty-is-my-superpower/ . If you are interested, I can give you my book to read.

Thank you very much for these materials. These would be of great help for my future discussion. God bless and keep safe Rechie

Hi there, So glad you found these resources helpful. All the best! – Nicole | Community Manager

Great reads.

Thank you very much it help me a lot with my teaching. God Bless you Courtney Ackerman

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The Art of Lying — a Talking Points lesson plan

This is a lesson plan all about lying!

Everyone tells lies — don’t they?

Well, in this lesson you can find out.

This lesson is perfect to use in your English or ESL class — also ideal for IELTS or any other test-prep class.

You can download the full lesson plan complete with other exercises and activities by clicking the link down below.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Do you tell lies?

What do people think about lying in your country/culture?

Do all people lie?

Telling Lies

Read Jade’s account below:

I just can’t help it — I lie about everything.

I get talking to someone and they might ask me something and then I can hear myself coming out with the most incredible stories. Things that simply are not true.

For example, I was on a flight to Hong Kong — my daughter works there — and this woman sitting next to me got talking to me. She was going to Hong Kong to meet her son who also worked there. I asked her what her son did and she said he worked in banking and I made some polite conversation about it. Then, of course, she asked me what my daughter does and I just didn’t even think about it.

Quick as a flash I just said that she worked for the secret service.

The woman looked back at me with her eyes wide open. You could tell she was very surprised by my comment.

And she said: What does she do? Is she a spy?

And I just shook my head and said: Actually I don’t really know what she does, it’s all a bit hush-hush.

Which is pretty much like saying, yes she’s a spy.

She’s not a spy. She works at a kindergarten. I don’t even know why I said it. And the rest of the flight felt a bit awkward as I knew I had just told this woman — a complete stranger — this whopping great fib.

Another time, I was in a coffee shop and I was drinking my coffee and writing down a list of things I wanted to buy for Christmas.

The waitress came over to clear the table and she surprised me. She apologised and said she was sorry for disturbing me. I said that it was okay, no problem.

Then in the next breath, I told her I was under a lot of stress as I was writing a book about global warming and the deadline with my publisher was looming. I said I was still doing some research and I was worried that I might miss the deadline.

I have no idea why I said it! It was such a silly thing to say.

The waitress looked impressed and said I was doing a good thing for making people aware of such an important issue. And then I had nothing else to say. I know absolutely nothing about global warming.

I do this all the time. I don’t know why.

It’s got to a point where I just come out with the most unbelievable nonsense. And I worry about things I say to people. I don’t think I have ever been caught out but it’s only a matter of time.

So I have taken things into hand. I have made an appointment with a doctor — a psychiatrist. He works in the city and he is actually very well known.

He worked with Freud when he was a student and knew him quite well apparently — Oh my god! I’ve done it again! What is wrong with me?

Reading Comprehension Questions

What bad habit does Jade have?

What happens when someone asks Jade a question about something? What does she do?

What was the first story that Jade tells us?

Where did the story take place? Where was she going?

What did the woman tell Jade about her son?

What does Jade’s daughter do there? What did she tell the woman that her daughter does there?

What was the second story Jade tells us?

Where was she when it took place? What was she doing?

What did she tell the waitress she was doing?

What did the waitress think of this?

Does Jade have any knowledge of global warming?

What actions does Jade say she has taken about her bad habit?

Where does this man work? Who did he work for?

Is this true or false?

Essential Vocabulary

Write down all the words and phrases in your vocabulary notebook. Look in your dictionary and find the meaning of each word. Write the definition next to each word.

Then make up your own sentences using each word or phrase.

For example:

Notebook — a small book with pages of blank paper that students use to make notes when

“ I left my notebook at home so I was unable to make any notes in my English class.”

Discussion Questions

Why do you think Jade lies about everything?

Do you know what a compulsive liar is? Is this what Jade is?

Do you think Jade has a psychological problem? Can she receive help for this?

If you were the woman on the plane sitting next to Jade, would you believe her story about her daughter being a secret agent? Would you say anything? Why/why not?

Do you lie about anything? What lies do you tell?

If you said you don’t lie – how can we be sure you are telling the truth?

What are the most common things people lie about in your country/culture?

Does everyone lie? If so, why?

Does our body language reveal if we are lying? How?

Is it acceptable to tell lies? Why/why not?

What is a white lie? Do you tell white lies? Give examples.

What is the worst lie you have ever told? Can you talk about it?

Are people who tell convincing lies very intelligent? Explain your reasoning.

Who tells more lies – men or women? Why?

What is the most hurtful lie someone told you? Can you talk about it?

Who lies more – farmers or politicians? Explain your reasoning.

Two Truths and a Lie

This is a game activity.

All the class should work individually. Each student should write three sentences:

two should be true
one should be a lie

One by one, the students come to the front of the class and write all their sentences on the board. The rest of the class then need to find out which sentence is a lie.

The class can ask the student any questions they like to find out which sentences are true and which sentence is a lie.

Debate: What is lying and when is it allowed?

This is a debate activity.

Work as one class together. Go through all the statements below and say whether you agree or disagree.

If you agree, give reasons.

If you disagree, also give reasons.

People should never lie
It’s acceptable to lie to children
Politicians often lie
People should never lie in a court of law
A man should never lie to his wife
A woman should never lie to her husband
The news always lies
White lies are acceptable
Advertising is the same as lying
We lie to ourselves more than we lie to others
Our body language always reveals the truth
If a lie is told often enough, people will eventually believe it

This is a role play activity.

There are two characters in this role play:

You are Jade from the story at the beginning of the lesson.

You have told a lie to a good friend and the friend has caught you out.

You keep trying to convince the friend that your lie is the truth but your friend doesn’t believe you.

This does not stop you from trying again and again.

Jade’s Friend

You are Jade’s friend. You have known Jade for many years.

She has told you a big lie and you have caught her out.

You have known for a long time that Jade lies about things, but you didn’t say anything before. But not you have had enough.

What she has lied about is terrible. And you would like Jade to apologise and admit that she has a problem.

If not, then you cannot continue being friends.

The Situation

Jade and one of her dearest and oldest friends are having coffee together.

Then Jade starts talking about her life in Australia as a teenager.

The only problem is – she has never been to Australia in her life!

The friend knows this – she even knows where Jade was as a teenager, so she knows it is a big fat lie.

But Jade continues with the lie and tries to prove it with more lies.

The friend gives Jade an ultimatum – either admit you lied, apologise and get some help. Or the friendship is over.

In pairs, practice your role play.

When you are ready, show the class.

This is a creative writing exercise.

Write a short story about lying. Your story can have any kind of ending – good or bad – as it is your story.

When you have finished your story, read it out in class.

Or give it to your teacher for review.

You can get this lesson plan for free… Just click the link below!

The Art Of Lying

You can also join my mailing list by clicking the link below!

ManWrites Mailing List

Smartphone Addiction — a Talking Points lesson for English reading and speaking

Veganism – is it really that good for us? — a Talking Points lesson for English reading and speaking

Childless or Child-Free? — a Talking Points lesson for English reading and speaking

2 thoughts on “the art of lying — a talking points lesson plan”.

This lesson is very interesting as most of us are not accustomed to lying but it is a necessary skill for debates and acting and a great way to practice your second language. The activities you offer are also very nice.

Thank you, Leona. Many thanks!

Teaching Guide: HONESTY

For grades 7-12

This material is from the teaching guide for the video “ Honesty “ in the 10-part DVD series In Search of Character

Are You an Honest Person? (Take this self-evaluation and decide for yourself.)

Being honest frees us to be real.

(If you wish to copy or use any material from this website, please click here for Terms of Use.)

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

If you are using the video, ask questions 1-3 before viewing.

1. How many lies do you get to tell before you are a liar?

2. Do you consider yourself to be an honest person? Why?

3. What would you do if you found $10,000 on the shelf beneath an ATM machine and nobody saw you find it?

4. In the opening documentary, some kids thought that Matt and Chris were saps for returning the money they found. What do you think of their decision?

5. The girl who found the lost beeper said she felt guilty and that giving it back would be the right thing to do. Why, then, is she keeping it? What advice would you give to her?

6. People often rationalize their own dishonesty by saying, “That’s the way the world is, so why should I be different?” What do you think of this reasoning?

7. One of Dr. Mike’s guidelines for making good choices is to ask yourself, “How would I feel if this were printed on the front page of the newspaper?” How might that help keep you honest?

8. Is there anything wrong with a “small” lie to parents or friends to keep from upsetting them?

9. One girl in the teen discussion said she doesn’t count little lies as lies. How do you feel about that idea?

10. When people are dishonest with you, how does it make you feel?

11. Dr. Mike’s co-host, S.E., comments that lying ruins relationships. Do you agree? Has that ever happened to you?

12. What is your definition of an honest person?

13. How important is it to you that your friends be honest?

14. If you discover your classmates are cheating on an important exam, does that make it okay for you to cheat, too?

15. It’s been said that cheating is just another form of lying. Do you agree?

16. Dr. Mike makes the point that dishonesty turns us into phonies, but honesty allows us to be real. What does that mean? Do you agree?

17. S.E. observes that simply being honest makes life a lot easier. What does she mean by that? Do you agree? Have you experienced this in your own life?

18. What risks are involved in being honest? What risks are involved in being dishonest? How do you benefit from being an honest person?

19. What does honesty have to do with your character?

WRITING ASSIGNMENTS

1. Pick any question from the discussion questions (above) and write an essay on it.

2. Select an advertisement from a magazine or newspaper, or from radio or TV. Analyze it for honesty:

-Does it explicitly say anything you think is untrue? Is it trying to make you believe something that might not be true? Is it lying by omission, i.e. leaving out important information that would make a difference to you? Is it misleading in any way? Does it present any half-truths?

-Take any political speech (especially a campaign speech) and analyze it in the same way.

3. What is a phony? How does dishonesty turn people into phonies? What does it mean when you say that a person is “real” or “authentic”? What does being “real” have to do with honesty?

4. What is the relationship between honesty and trustworthiness? Write an essay exploring this relationship.

5. Write an essay about a situation in which you were dishonest (lied, cheated, or stole). Why did it happen? How did you justify it? How did you feel about it at the time? Did it affect any of your relationships? Did it cause any problems for you? How do you feel about it now? What did you learn from it?

6. Write a letter to someone in the news whose honesty has impressed you.

Other teaching guides in this series:

STUDENT ACTIVITIES

1. Have the students keep an “Honesty-Dishonesty” journal for one week. In this journal, document examples of honesty and dishonesty in everyday life. Keep track of all the times you hear or tell “white lies.” Pay particular attention to the media. See what role honesty plays in stories covered in the news. Note how often dishonesty is at the core of TV sitcoms and dramas. At the end of a week, write your conclusions and share them with the class. What did you learn about your own behavior from doing this project?

2. As a class, brainstorm all the excuses and rationalizations people give for lying, cheating, and stealing, and then have a discussion about them. How valid are they? What’s wrong with each of them?

3. Conduct a survey in your school or community asking questions like the following: Do you think people are honest enough? What are some examples of dishonesty you really dislike? What are some examples of honesty that you especially appreciate? Compile the results into a report.

4. Role-play various situations where one or more students are under pressure to be dishonest. Examples: helping a friend cheat on an assignment or exam, or lying to cover up for someone. Put it on videotape and share it with other classes.

5. Create an “honesty” website. Then, contact us (by e-mail ) so we can check it out.

Choosing to be honest or dishonest does something to our character. Lying makes us liars. Cheating makes us cheaters. But being honest frees us to be real. Learn more . . .

Click play for a sampling of “In Search of Character”

This award winning video series spotlights ten core virtues that help teens develop into caring, respectful, responsible people who make choices based on what’s right, rather than what they can get away with. Learn more . . .

For more information about individual videos in this series, click on the title below.

If your school or organization does not have these videos, you can purchase them from Live Wire Media , or request them from your local library.

Subscribe to our almost Monthly Newsletter

Get breaking news and developments in character education and helpful tips and ideas that you can use with your own character education program. View this month’s newsletter.

Tales, Fibs, and Lies: Working with Students Who Lie

by Counselor Keri

Read Time: min | Behavior , Individual Counseling

Tall tales, little fibs, or flat out lies: how do you work with students who stretch the truth? While some adults might be inclined to tackle lying head on with confrontation, confident counselors know these situations may require more delicate footing. Let’s take a look at a few things to consider when faced with lying behavior.

How do you work with students who lie? Read more to find school counseling interventions for handling lying behavior.

Determine the Function of the Lie

Perhaps most important when working with students who lie is determining the function of the lie. Is your student lying to avoid punishment or is he lying to gain approval of adults or peers? Like all behavior, understanding the function of the lie will help us to forge the path ahead in working with the student.

Ask yourself, what happened before the lie? What was going on in the classroom or in the social context? Conduct a functional behavior analysis to gain insight into the context of the student’s behavior.

Students Who Lie to Avoid Punishment

Classroom culture.

If your functional behavior analysis reveals that the lying behavior serves to avoid punishment, consider the classroom and school-wide consequences. Are the consequences in place developmentally appropriate for the student? Does the student feel that the consequences are fair? This might also involve having a delicate conversation with other professionals about appropriate ways to react in these situations. If the student feels that an adult is over-reacting or reacting in a harsh manner, she may be lying to avoid encountering this type of response from the adult. Advocate for trauma-informed classroom training in your building if you suspect these practices are lacking.

Rules and Expectations

When working with the student, revisit school and classroom rules. Reteach rules and expectations , making sure that the student understands what is expected and the consequences in place for not meeting the expectations. Avoid power struggles over what is or is not true – this is never going to change the behavior!

Skill-Building

Return to your FBA, and focus on teaching skills to manage the antecedent . For example, if the student lied about completing his homework in order to avoid punishment from the classroom teacher for not having his homework complete, focus on problem solving the incomplete homework. What barriers are preventing the student from completing homework? Does he need additional tutoring? Does he have the supplies he needs to complete the assignment? Guide the student through the problem solving process in order to eliminate the need for the lie altogether.

Role-playing being honest can help your student internalize how it sounds to tell the truth. Create a list of scenarios in which your student might be inclined to lie and work on role-playing together to help your student figure out a way to be honest that feels natural and comfortable to him.

Reinforcement

Look for every opportunity to praise instances of telling the truth . Returning to the homework example, if your student shares that he lied because he didn’t do his homework and didn’t want the teacher to yell at him in front of the class, respond with gratitude, “Thank you for being honest with me about your homework. I know that can be hard to do sometimes. Let’s work together to figure out how you can get your homework done in the future.” Empower your student to eliminate his own need to lie in the future! Encourage classroom teachers and other faculty members the student encounters to follow suit by praising him for telling the truth and to avoid punishing him for being honest as well.

Students Who Lie to Gain Approval

Perspective-taking.

If your FBA reveals that your student is lying to gain approval from peers or adults, work on perspective-taking with your student. Help the student consider how her peers feel when they learn that she lied to them. Explore instances when someone has lied to her and help her to process how she felt in that moment to expand her perspective of her peers’ reactions.

Rebuilding Trust

Work with your student to create a plan for rebuilding trust with her peers or the adults she’s lied to. Help her to identify specific situations she might encounter in which she can be honest. For your student, this might look like an open discussion with an apology or it might simply be a plan for what facts she is willing to share when given the opportunity.

If your student thrives on the tall tales she creates, give her an outlet! Provide your student with a journal that she can record her stories or tales in rather than misleading others. Empower her to create a fictional world that is just for her. You might even help your student learn more about fiction authors to help her see how her love for creating fictional stories could turn into a future career!

Opportunities for Approval

If your student is desiring approval but going about it in all the wrong ways, create a system that allows the student to receive the approval she desires in an appropriate way. Set up a check-in/check-out system, find meaningful tasks for the student in the classroom or school, find a mentor for the student, or let the student fill a leadership role.

Work on improving your student’s self concept and self esteem so that she feels confident in who she is! Help her to build confidence and find comfort in her own skin so that she can find approval from within.

Final Considerations

Recognize that the lying behavior might effectively serve the student in some area of his life. Perhaps the student lies to avoid punishment at home because the punishment truly is not appropriate. Or maybe your student does not feel accepted in certain areas of her life and will do or say just about anything to feel validated by peers or adults. As always, take a look at your student as a whole person with experiences and needs to develop a compassionate view that with help you to positively forge a path to effective behavior intervention.

Check Out Our Latest Articles

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Writing Activity: Stories about trust, truth and lying

August 5, 2017 By William Rubel

This writing activity is based on two stories published in the May/June 1994 issue of Stone Soup : " The Mother's Day Gift " by Mathew Thompson, 11, and " The Clay Pot " by Naomi Wendland, 12. Follow the links to open the stories in a new window, and read both of them carefully as part of the activity.

These two stories deal with the same problem: the temptation to lie to hide a mistake. The temptation to lie to cover up a mistake is a common one, and most people, at some point in their lives, give in to the temptation to pretend they haven't done something that, in fact, they have.

In " The Clay Pot ," Sashi gives in to this temptation and lies. In " The Mother's Day Gift ," Mathew resists temptation and tells the truth. Fiction is often used by authors to explore difficult human problems, and few human problems are as difficult as the ones dealt with in these two stories. Mathew's test, in "The Mother's Day Gift," is not as severe as Sashi's. Mathew was careless and broke a window on a rebound, but his mother's life wasn't bound up with the window in any way. His mistake was in the form of an accident.

Sashi's mistake was more serious. She purposely, out of laziness, did something she was prohibited from doing. In both stories the mothers responded to what their children did by seeing it as an opportunity to strengthen their bond with their child. They both understood that the most valuable object between mother and child is something that cannot be touched but can be broken, and that is trust. Both mothers used the actions of their child to lovingly nurture trust so the bond of trust would be made stronger.

Project: Write a story about trust and lying

It is easy to be honest when there are no consequences to telling the truth! But it is not easy to tell the truth when you think that your words may get you in trouble. There are many famous stories and novels written for adults that explore the difficulty of telling the truth when lying seems safer or easier.

Create a test of trust for your character. Your character might, for example, want to go out to play before finishing his or her homework. A friend offers a solution: lie about the homework and finish it later. A bigger test might be that your character borrows something and either loses it or breaks it. An even bigger test of trust would be one where your character is actually tempted to steal something, does steal it, and then lies about stealing it.

Show us how your character responds to the test you create. Show us what, if anything, your character learns from his or her experience. Of course, there will always be at least two people involved in a story about trust. Show, as Naomi and Mathew do, what the other person expected of your main character and how that person responds to what happens.

In order to test your character's trustworthiness you need to build up the significance of the trouble your character thinks he or she could get into by being found out. Naomi and Mathew took different approaches to building up their characters' problems. Naomi builds up the significance of Sashi's problem by showing us how important that one clay pot was to her mother. "It wasn't the beauty of the pot, it was that it was part of her mother." Mathew builds up the significance of his character's problem by showing us how upset he was by what he had done. "My stomach immediately pole-vaulted into my throat . . . I could feel my body beginning to sweat and I felt sick." Mathew's character clearly thinks he will get in big trouble for what he did, and this is what makes his response courageous.

When you tell your story, you have a choice of voices: the "I" (first person) voice that Mathew uses, or the "he/she/it" (third person) voice that Naomi uses. The first-person voice emphasizes the experience and feelings of the central character, while the third-person voice emphasizes the larger world in which the tale takes place.

Whichever perspective you choose as the author of your piece, be sure, like Naomi and Mathew, to tell us the whole story, from the beginning: the whole "who, what, where, why, and when" of what happened to test your character's honesty.

Reader Interactions

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Great Post!!!

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Informative posts, I am a avid fan of your site, keep up the informative work, and I will be a regular visitor for a very long time.

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What to Do When Students Lie

When I was school age, I never told a lie, but I bet many of you readers have lied in your youth. Okay, so maybe I did lie a few times . . . All of us have encountered students who've told us lies during our professional careers. One of the best I heard recently was when a teacher confronted a student for copying, word for word, from Wikipedia. The student responded, "I can't help it if Wikipedia copied my paper!"

Last week I asked graduate students in my behavior management class if any of them lied in school and why they did so. All students raised their hands, and the reasons filled an entire white board. Realizing the universality and difficulty of this issue, I determined the most common categories of student lying that teachers face.

For the purposes of this post, I chose not to include those issues -- like compulsive lying -- that required interventions beyond the scope of teachers and might even require a psychologist. And due to space constraints, I left out categories that I had no valuable answer worth sharing beyond the obvious, such as lying because of a threat of harm if the truth were told. Some of the categories are very similar to others with only a hair's breadth between them. I offer to you the most significant types of lying, along with some suggestions for dealing with the students who see the truth differently than you do. In all sample dialogues, assume the student is lying.

The Student Who Truly Believes the Lie

This is one of the most difficult situations: when the student truly believes that his lie is the truth. One reason that a student might not realize that he is lying is simply that he sees things differently than you. Even when dealing with facts, different people select facts differently. That's why we debate gun safety, immigration and so many other issues. All sides have facts, but those facts are selective. I'm reminded of the Talking Heads song, “Crosseyed and Painless," which includes the line, "Facts don't do what I want them to." One solution is for both you and the student to reframe the discussion into one where you both can find common ground. ( See my post about how to see things in a new way. ) Here is an example:

Student: "I never hit Rachael." Teacher: "Sometimes what you call hitting is different than what I call hitting. Let's find a way to agree on what hitting is."

A more difficult issue is that humans tend to think a lie is true once they say it three or more times. Thus, sometimes students lie but truly believe that they are telling the truth. The best way to handle this case is similar to reframing. Ask the student if other possibilities exist, and how possible these alternatives are.

Student: "My mother says I need to have my cell phone on in case she needs to call me." Teacher: "She might have said that, but there are other things she might have said. Let's think of all the things your mother might say about cell phones and see which are the ones she might have said about you having your phone on right now."

The Student Who Lies to Improve Self-Concept

Students who need to feel better about themselves often lie to look better. The long-term solution is to help the student build on her strengths and take pride in what she is good at, while simultaneously learning that no one is good at everything. The short-term solution is to redirect the conversation to something real that the student can feel real pride in.

Student: "I am the best baseball player in the school." Teacher: "I know you are real good at throwing a ball, and with practice I bet you can become a very good ballplayer. I'm glad that you want to improve enough to be very good."

The Student Who Lies to Avoid Punishment or Gain a Reward

My feeling on this issue is well known to most readers of my posts. I believe that rewards and punishments are ineffective interventions that are best used in a small amount of individual cases. However, if students do lie because of fear of punishment or wanting a reward, the first step is to lower the stakes so that neither is so important. Secondly focus what the child did or didn't do in terms of specific behavior, not generalities.

Student: "I don't fight anymore, so can I have a doughnut?" Teacher: "Tell me what you do when you get angry, and show me how you did it."

The Student Who Lies to Protect Others

As a child, there is nothing worse than losing the trust of your friends. The highest value in gangs is loyalty. In general, the only way to overcome this is to develop a loyalty equal to the loyalty of peers, so that betraying you, the teacher, by lying goes against the same value. If presented with a lie, nothing short of an interrogation can change the student's response. Accept it and move on.

Student: "Jose didn't take those books. I know ." Teacher: "Thank you for your input. Can you think of a way that no one will steal anything else in class?"

The Student Who Lies for Fun

Sometimes students lie just for fun or to get attention. Often, in this case, students want to see if they can get over on you. One way to play it is to up the ante by playing along and increasing the story line.

Student: "Yesterday I climbed Mount Hood. It was great." Teacher: “I once climbed Mount Hood and Mount Rainier in one day. It was great, too."

This changes a lie into a fun game and removes the reason for the lie by making it ineffective as a way to fool you.

The Student Who Lies to Hurt Others or Get Even

Sometimes if a student is angry with another student or teacher, that student might act passively aggressive by making false negative claims against them. When these accusations appear in social media, they can be very damaging, but that issue is big enough to require a post of its own. Respond such claims by determining or making an informed guess if the student is telling you that he is in some kind of danger, possibly by a bully. If that is the case, then an intervention with the bully is in order. If not, then explain that you don't gossip; that, for confidentiality reasons, it is against the law for you to talk about other students; and that there is nothing else to discuss. Use the same strategy when a student talks negatively about another teacher. Thus the lie has no traction and stops reinforcing lying as a way to hurt others. It is also a good idea to talk with the whole class about gossip and your unwillingness to participate in it.

Student: "Mr. Raymond is a mean teacher and always picks on me." Teacher: "You know that talking about others is called gossip, and that we don't gossip in this class."

The Student Who Lies to be Accepted in a Group or to be Popular

Teach the child the social skills required to make friends, so the need to lie is reduced. Not everyone knows these skills, and others know them but don't use them. Help the student by practicing these skills the same way that a coach practices a football play.

Teacher: "Others will like you better if you don't interrupt them. Let me show you what I mean, and we can practice until you are better at it."

Obviously, a direct confrontation accusing the student of lying is always an option. Sometimes it is the best option. There are students who need to be directly called out for lying and told it will not be accepted. Mostly, this strategy is best saved for malicious or sociopathic students. But if you are wrong, you will lose that student forever, and even if you are right, the outcome might worsen your ability of reaching that student.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. And, should you decide to leave a comment below, please tell the truth!

Articles on the craft and business of writing

Creative writing prompts: character secrets and lies.

Creative Writing Prompts using Character Secrets

Creating a character with a strong internal conflict, secret, or burden makes for one compelling read! (To see more on writing a compelling protagonist, check out The Compelling Protagonist Part 1 and Compelling Protagonist Part 2. ) It’s vital to have conflict in every scene, and when the action is quiet in your book, internal conflict will keep a reader turning the pages.

Below are writing prompts to help you find some ideas for internal secrets, lies (and therefore conflict) for your characters. Or, to find characters and stories, begin by writing about secrets and lies. These exercises are great prompts for journal writing, or will help your work-in-progress fiction as well.

Write about a broken promise.

What is the promise?
To whom was the promise made? Why is it important to this person?
Who made the promise? Why? Was it something they were forced to promise, or did they want to make it?
Why did they break it? What was so important, they had to break it?
Now go deeper, why did they really break it? (Look to a character fear, want, need, something that is so painfully vital they can’t keep their word.)
What happens when it is broken?
Who finds out? What is their reaction?
What are the repercussions of breaking the promise?

Write about a character secret.

What is the secret?
Who is keeping the secret?
From whom is the secret being kept?
Who are the people involved? (Are there more than just the two?)
Why does it need to be kept? What will happen if it is uncovered?
Who will it hurt?
Is someone digging to figure it out? Why? How are they involved?
What happens when the secret is found out?
What does the discoverer decide to do? Keep the secret? Let it out
What are the risks and rewards of each?

Write about a character lie that protects.

Who tells the lie? Why? What or whom are they trying to protect?
Who does the lie benefit?
Who does the lie hurt?
Who is involved?
Who will be hurt if the lie gets out?
What is at stake? (list each person and write what each has at stake)

Write about a character lie that is told to hurt.

Who tells the lie? Why? What or whom are they trying to hurt?
Why did they tell it? What is so important that they told a lie? Now go deeper, why did they really tell it? (look to a character fear, want, need, something that is so painful, they tell this lie.)
What is at stake? (list each person involved and write what each has at stake)
Will the lie hurt who told it? Why? How?

Do this brainstorming throughout the writing of your work in progress. Play with character secrets and lies. What they uncover may surprise not only your characters, but you!

The Lie Monster story: A printable tale about honesty

Teaching your kids about honesty and the importance of not telling a lie is essential and so important. The Lie Monster is a colorful and engaging story that you can print out at home and tell your kids tonight! It’s also perfect for teachers to share with their students.

The Lie Monster is a story that I heard years ago as a child. However, after searching high and low online, I couldn’t find it anywhere. So, I decided to create my own version. You can purchase and print my downloadable PDF of this story at the bottom of this blog post.

This story is about a little boy who tells a tiny lie that gets bigger and bigger throughout the day. His lie is like a monster following him around and the more he lies, the bigger the monster gets. It’s a great story about making honest decisions throughout the day.

It’s a great way to illustrate the ugly reality when you tell a lie and how it makes you feel inside. Check out this video of me telling the story of The Lie Monster:

The great thing about this story is that you can cater it to your specific needs. It doesn’t have to be about Jonny. It can be about anyone who encounters trouble with lying. Get creative. The point is to help your kids understand the importance of honesty and the different outcomes that result from being honest or dishonest.

Get started with the Lie Monster

Although it may seems self explanatory, I’ll give you the run down. Print this printable story below, cut out the individual pieces on the first two pages and then read the story. Lay out the individual pieces of the story as they are indicated as you are reading the story. If you don’t have a felt board , you can always just tape the pieces to the wall or just lay them on the ground and let your kids gather close.

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One of Us Is Lying Essay Topics & Writing Assignments

Essay Topic 1

Simon says that his gossip app, All That, is a public service. The things Simon reveals about his classmates are very personal and often hurtful, but they are also true. Why would the author choose to include the fact that Simon is posting the truth? How does this relate to motive?

Essay Topic 2

Mr. Avery tells the students in detention to hand write a 500-word essay on how technology is ruining schools. Why might the author have included this interaction and how do the students react to the assignment? What message may the author be sending by having the teacher call longhand a lost art?

Essay Topic 3

Cooper is named for the baseball hall of fame in Cooperstown. What kind of pressure does Cooper's dad put on him to succeed? Does Cooper's dad express his expectations actively or passively? How does the spotlight Cooper is under...

(read more Essay Topics)

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Posts & Pages

21 journal prompts to help you make decisions with integrity and love.

When you make decisions from a place of love, awareness, and integrity, they're decisions you can be proud of.

The more you love your decisions, the less you need outside approval for how you live your life. The better you feel, inside and out. The easier it is to heal.

Along the way I've learned that healing happens -- most anything important happens -- one decision at a time. And everything almost always circles back to your relationships -- with others and with your own self .

The prompts here are inspired by my coaching sessions with my dear friend, Jen Pearce, who's a certified High Performance coach through Brendon Burchard. She's helped me through my ups and downs with Healing Brave, and with my own personal healing process.

Our most recent sessions about integrity, gratitude and love were eye opening for me.

“Integrity is kept by everyday choices we make about how we show up, treat others, and stay true to our deepest values and highest aspirations.” (Brendon Burchard)

For any kind of change you want to make in your life, even if you don't know what that change would be, these prompts speak to that.

Because your relationships are everything, and your decisions are your future .

Use these questions and prompts to help you identify the practices that’ll keep you true to who you are and how you want to show up in life.

Use a journal and give yourself the time and space to reflect on your values... so you can act with intention when it's most important.

When you make decisions from a place of love, awareness, and integrity, they're decisions you can be proud of. Use these questions and prompts to help you identify the practices that’ll keep you true to who you are and how you want to show up in life. Use a journal and give yourself the time and space to reflect on your values.

21 Journal Prompts to Help You Make Decisions You Can Be Proud Of

1. What does living with integrity mean for me at this stage of my life?

2. What are my values? At least three of them are...

3. What kind of a person do I want to be for others?

4. Something I can commit to now that would truly represent my values and how I want to show up in the world is…

5. What would I have to start doing now so that in 10 years I feel like I just had the best decade of my life, living my full truth?

6. A practice I can begin to help me pause before making decisions is…

7. A reminder I could say to myself before I’m tempted to promise something that I’m not sure I can commit to is…

8. A reminder I could say to myself before I’m tempted to respond to anger with anger, to fear with fear, to negativity with negativity is...

9. The best thing I could say to myself during times of conflict to remember to treat others with respect is…

10. If I could hear people’s criticism without taking it personally or slowing my progress, then I’d have to say this phrase to myself when they’re criticizing me…

11. A practice I can begin to help me let go of negative emotions and return to a state of peace is…

12. If I realized I was just like everyone else and just as GOOD as everyone else -- that we all struggle but have so much potential -- then when in social situations I would finally be more likely to...

13. If I could describe the ideal kind of joy I want to feel in my daily life, it would feel like…

14. The best practice I have for remembering to be grateful for life is to…

15. If I was truly grateful for life right now , a decision I would make from that place of gratitude is…

16. I need to have more consistency in these areas of my life…

17. I would be much more consistent if I let go of the following doubts or excuses…

18. The people who need me to take more consistent action are… and what they need from me now is…

19. The things I can start doing now in my life so that I don’t experience regret later on include…

20. The things I want to be satisfied about at the end of my life are…

21. Real courage in my life would mean that I… and real passion would mean that I...

Which of these prompts got you thinking about how you want to show up in your life? How do you want to show up?

Tell me in the comments. I read every single one, and I’d love to know how you feel about this!

P.S. Want these kinds of posts in your inbox? Sign up for Tuesday emails and you'll also get my Healing Brave Manifesto, totally free.

Comments on this post (5)

Great to hear good word to really think about so life can take you in a positive direction now and in the future thank you

Jim, I am so grateful these could awaken some questions in you, even if you don’t have the answers to them all. It’s okay to let those questions marinate and to reflect. Thank you for reading and for being here.

— Jennifer Williamson

Denise, I am deeply sorry for the loss of your friend in such a tragic, heartbreaking way. My heart is with you. It is the most difficult reality I have had to face myself, why this person who was so incredibly beautiful and alive would take away the life and light they were. May her light still shine within and through you. x

Jen, I don’t have answers to everything on your list but reading it helps me put things in better perspective, as does your beautiful art print “Take care of this moment.” Thank you again for all that you do. Sincerely,

Thank you and prayers. Still struggle thru the whys to my friends suicide. I know she was wired differently Like to be in control of everything and Loved Jesus. But the emptiness her husband has, family, friends and me will never be answered. I guess I need to Trust God.

— Denise M Hannig

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One of Us is Lying

Karen mcmanus, ask litcharts ai: the answer to your questions.

Welcome to the LitCharts study guide on Karen McManus's One of Us is Lying . Created by the original team behind SparkNotes, LitCharts are the world's best literature guides.

One of Us is Lying: Introduction

One of us is lying: plot summary, one of us is lying: detailed summary & analysis, one of us is lying: themes, one of us is lying: quotes, one of us is lying: characters, one of us is lying: symbols, one of us is lying: theme wheel, brief biography of karen mcmanus.

Historical Context of One of Us is Lying

Other books related to one of us is lying.

Full Title: One of Us Is Lying
When Written: 2010s
Where Written: Cambridge, Massachusetts
When Published: 2017
Literary Period: Contemporary
Genre: Young adult fiction, mystery
Setting: Bayview, California
Climax: Addy, with the help of her classmates Bronwyn, Cooper, and Nate, discovers that their classmate Simon Kelleher orchestrated his own death in order to frame the four of them for his murder and get back at them for possessing the social and intellectual gifts he lacked.
Antagonist: Simon Kelleher
Point of View: Alternating first-person

Extra Credit for One of Us is Lying

Nevertheless, She Persisted. Karen M. McManus maintains an active Twitter account from which she shares writing advice and insider info about the often-cutthroat world of Young Adult publishing; during a #ShareYourRejections campaign, she tweeted that her first (unpublished) novel was rejected by over 120 agents.

Counselling, Psychotherapy, CBT & Mindfulness in Central London & Online

Home » Blog » Relationships » A Practical Guide on How to Start Telling the Truth and Stop Lying

2 Dec / 2023

A Practical Guide on How to Start Telling the Truth and Stop Lying

accepted an invitation to a party even though you had no intention of coming?

agreed to stay at work to help your colleague with their project instead of relaxing at home on a Friday night, as you planned?

withheld the truth from your partner to avoid uncomfortable conversations?

We all lie from time to time – 11 times each week on average, to be exact [1] . We sprinkle a lie here or there to dampen the painful impact of harsh truth, prevent hurting someone or paint a more favourable picture of ourselves. Yet, even these seemingly harmless white lies are a slippery slope that can destroy relationships and decrease self-esteem over time. Luckily, there are many ways to learn how to stop lying and start embracing the truth. Read on to find out more!

Identifying Patterns and Triggers: How to Stop Lying by Breaking the Habit

The habit of lying can be pretty tempting. After all, it might seem like a convenient way to escape uncomfortable situations or avoid being seen in a bad light. However, if you feel like you can’t stop lying , don’t see a way out but keep justifying your lies, chances are you’re struggling with a much more significant issue than simply slipping a half-truth here or there.

The first step to figuring out how to stop being a compulsive liar is to admit that you have a problem and take a closer look at your addictive cycle of lying behavior. While providing temporary relief and an emotional high, lying in the long term can only harm your self-esteem , erode the trust you built with others and decrease your happiness.

To stop lying habitually, start by asking yourself these questions:

When am I most likely to lie?

A re there specific situations, places or people around whom I feel I can’t be truthful?

What triggers my urge to lie – is it my emotions or particular thoughts?

Pin-pointing what pushes you to lie is a starting point for breaking this lying habit. Next time you find yourself in a similar context, you can approach it mindfully, paying attention to your choices and prevent lying behavior.

Defining Compulsive or Pathological Lying

Pathological lying (aka compulsive) is quite a complex psychological phenomenon. It describes someone who lies frequently and impulsively without a clear motive or benefit. When we compare it to ordinary lies, the compulsive ones are most of the time unnecessary and without an obvious purpose. The liar might even be aware that their what they’re saying is implausible or even easily disprovable, but they continue to lie.

Keep in mind that pathological lying is not a diagnosis but rather potentially a symptom of other psychological conditions. For example, it can be associated with personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, or even antisocial personality disorder.

Why Do I Lie So Much ? Understanding the Motives

As kids, we learn that lying is wrong and we should tell the truth. As we grow up, we can understand the nuances of life and specific circumstances in which we’re encouraged to slip a small lie. We also can see clearly how lying can be highly harmful in other situations.

How can we tell whether our motive to lie is justifiable?

Deception researchers like Bella DePaulo divide lying into two categories [2] :

If you’d like to learn how to stop being a compulsive liar , it’s essential to spend some time reflecting on the motives behind your habit. After all, telling lies that are supposed to protect someone else’s feelings don’t compare to those that involve intentionally misleading, disrespecting and taking advantage of others for your selfish gains. While the former might help us as a society, the latter cuts much deeper, alienating you from others [3] .

How Inability to Stop Lying Can Impact Your Relationships

A man and a woman in a relationship struggle due to compulsive lying

Did you know that it’s been proven how lying less and being honest more often boost relationship satisfaction, simultaneously supporting your physical and mental health, and overall well-being [1] ?

Yet, the experience of a romantic relationship can be quite different with a partner who tends to excessive lying. Just imagine being with someone who sprinkles a little white lie here and there about their location, meetings, friends or other commitments. While seemingly harmless at first, you can observe these lies piling up and your trust issues arising. After a while, the person you chose to be in a relationship with seems so lost in their lies that you decide to leave them as you can’t see a healthy future with them in your life anymore.

Pathological lying erode our relationships. While you might believe you can easily spot a liar, the opposite is true. Statistically, we can accurately detect around 54% of the lies we hear [4] . You might’ve been able to outsmart others or avoid the truth coming out, but make no mistake: you are not invincible. When the people in your life realise they’ve been lied to, they might:

feel shocked, hurt, used, betrayed or manipulated,

lose their trust in you, and rebuilding it can be highly challenging,

cut ties with you and keep you out of their lives.

How to Stop Being a Pathological Liar and Cultivate Trust in Relationships?

Find healthy alternatives.

Change takes time and effort, so starting small is a good idea. Consider:

a) reflecting on the circumstances in which you’re most compelled to lie,

b) creating honesty-anchored responses to these situations

c) staying genuine by:

changing the subject, i.e.:

“Let’s not discuss my romantic life now. I’d love to know how your DIY project’s going.”

giving tactful, prosocial feedback, i.e.:

“I appreciate you sharing this music with me. I don’t think it’s my cup of tea, though.”

Take Accountability

The process of change also involves some hiccups. Understandably, old habits die hard, and if you give into the old habit of lying, own up to it. Whoever you lied to, they deserve the truth and an apology. They may feel hurt, betrayed, require space to think, or they might forgive you immediately. Regardless, taking accountability for your actions and experiencing the consequences of being caught lying first-hand is crucial.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Trying to live up to unrealistic expectations or self-inflicted pressure might lead to compulsive lying. Perhaps you:

don’t want to hurt the feelings of your partner,

prefer avoiding their anger,

feel scared of getting vulnerable.

If so, communicate openly and set healthy boundaries. It doesn’t make you annoying or high-maintenance – it shows your commitment to investing in the relationship. Try using phrases like:

“ I’d rather keep this information private,”

“I’ve been lying because I’m afraid of losing you. Can we talk about this more?” This healthy communication could help build a foundation of trust.

The Role of Mindfulness and Self-Awareness

Mindfulness and self-awareness can be very helpful in overcoming pathological lying. Mindfulness, by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, can help you become more attuned to your thoughts, feelings, and actions, making it easier for you to catch yourself before a lie slips out.

Self-awareness goes hand in hand with mindfulness . Gaining a deeper understanding of yourself, your patterns, and your motivations, means you can start to identify and anticipate the situations where you’re more likely to lie and the emotions at the basis of the lies.

You can practice techniques such as meditation, deep breathing, or mindfulness exercises to enhance your self-awareness and mindfulness skills. This way you’ll have a better chance to slow down your thought process, consider your actions more carefully, and choose honesty over deception. It’s all about creating a little window of space between what your thinking and feeling, and what you’ll decide to do next.

Incorporating mindfulness and self-awareness into your daily routine can make a difference on your journey to honesty. It can help you break the cycle of compulsive and habitual lying, and pave the way for a more truthful, authentic life.

Incorporating Honesty into Your Everyday Interactions

Here are some advanced strategies for maintaining honesty in everyday contexts, some of which may prove challenging:

Handling Professional Ethics:

Scenario: When you disagree with a business practice or decision.

Approach: Express your concerns respectfully, highlighting your commitment to ethical standards. For instance: “I understand the rationale behind this decision, but I’m concerned about its ethical implications. Could we consider some alternative approaches?”

Navigating Family Dynamics:

Scenario: Addressing uncomfortable family truths or histories.

Approach: Choose the right time and setting for these chats, and approach them with sensitivity and openness. For example: “I’ve been thinking about our family history, and I believe it’s important for us to discuss some aspects that have been overlooked.”

Personal Relationships:

Scenario: Being honest about your feelings in a romantic relationship.

Approach: Communicate your feelings clearly without blame or judgment. Here’s an idea: “I feel we need to talk about where our relationship is heading. Honesty is important to me, and want us to share our true feelings.

How to Stop Compulsive Lying : Practical Techniques For an Honest and Authentic Life

Stop justifying your lies.

As a kid, your parents probably told you to thank a relative for a gift they gave you even if you hated it to make them feel better. Right then and there, you learned that some lies are excusable.

Yet, if you feel like you can’t stop lying to your partner, lying to yourself or telling white lies but want to introduce a long-lasting change, it’s imperative that as an adult you recognise how unhelpful justifying your lies is and decide to break this bad habit instead of using it as an excuse.

So the next time you feel urged to lie, stop for a moment to ask yourself:

What is my reason for lying here?

How is this helpful?

Then, push yourself to find an honest alternative instead.

Accept and Fulfill Your Emotional Needs

We often avoid facing a difficult situation or complex feelings by choosing dishonesty. Why? “We lie when the truth surpasses our comfort zone”, explains Kim Egel, a licensed therapist .

However, genuine growth requires accepting your reality, not running away from it. Try to open up through journaling. Consider writing down your thoughts and emotions linked to lying, and feel free to process your experience and explore any needs you might have been trying to fulfil through lies.

Let’s say you struggle with low self-esteem , so you seek external validation by telling exaggerated stories about your past.

What if you counteract that by setting positive goals for yourself? Engage in your childhood hobby, catch up with an old friend, create a new morning routine. Whatever it might be, choose something easy, tangible and small.

Practice Authenticity and Patience

Fear of rejection might push you to hide your true self behind a facade built with more lies within. By doing so, you put a wall preventing your loved ones from connecting with the real you.

Self-disclosure requires a lot of vulnerability, which can be scary. Simultaneously, it helps strengthen intimacy in relationships and bring meaning and depth to your bond. Begin embracing the unknown by sharing an authentic story from your personal life without vamping it up.

Be patient and gentle with yourself. What can initially feel incredibly anxiety -inducing will become more bearable and pleasant with time. The journey toward honesty takes time, and you can get there one step after another.

A person at a crossroad between truth or lies and choosing the truth

Consider Therapy For Compulsive Lying

Changing deeply rooted habits, such as compulsive or pathological lying, can be daunting. While challenging, it’s definitely within your reach!

With the help of an experienced therapist, you can:

get to the underlying reasons and causes of your issue,

pinpoint unhelpful patterns of thinking or behaving,

process any difficult emotions in a safe space,

receive guidance on how to stop lying ,

practice techniques of cultivating honesty .

Most of all, therapy can be an amazingly enriching tool to regain control of your life and embrace your authentic self. There are different types of therapies that can work for pathological lying.

Types of Compulsive Liar Treatment

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): This is a common treatment choice for compulsive lying. CBT helps you identify and change negative thought patterns that lead to problematic behaviors , including lying. It provides practical strategies for managing stress and improving communication skills.

Psychodynamic Therapy: This type of therapy allows you to delve into past experiences and traumas that might be contributing to your lying behaviour. By addressing these underlying issues, you can start to understand your motivations for lying and work towards changing your behavior.

Mindfulness-Based Therapies: These therapies help you increase your self-awareness and control impulsivity, which are two very important factors in overcoming a compulsive lying problem.

Of course, each of us is unique, and what works for one person might not work for another. If you’d like to start working on your compulsive lying habit, at Therapy Central we have a team of professionals that will design a treatment around your unique needs and circumstances.

Don’t wait up and contact us for a free 15-minute consultation today!

Someone getting help from a therapist for compulsive lying

Looking Ahead: Building a Future Without Lies

Building a future without lies involves cultivating honesty as a core value in your life. It’s about making a conscious decision every day to choose truth over deceit.

In this guide, we’ve discussed the complexities and serious consequences of pathological lying and the importance of being truthful. Embracing honesty does not only strengthens relationships but also increases your self-esteem and general mental well-being. It’s a journey of self-discovery and commitment to authenticity .

Yet, this path can be challenging, and it’s okay to seek support . If you or someone you know is grappling with compulsive lying, consider therapy as a valuable resource. Our team is ready to provide the guidance and understanding necessary to overcome this difficulty .

Seeking help is a testament to your strength and commitment to truth. Begin your journey to a truthful, fulfilling life.

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33 Writing Prompts about Lying
33 Writing Prompts about Lying. People, even school aged children, can tell when they're being lied to. So, when it's something small, like a student telling another that they aren't having a birthday party, even though they are and that student isn't invited, feelings are still going to be hurt. That impact, however, most students don ...
44 Writing Prompts About Lying
Writing Prompts About Lying . Imagine you are a private investigator who is known for an uncanny ability to detect lies. Your latest case involves a client who insists they're telling the truth, but your instincts scream otherwise. The prompt revolves around your investigation to unearth the truth while dealing with your instincts.
11+ Honesty Worksheets & Tests for Adults (+ PDF)
Spotting Good Traits. This worksheet is intended to help the user identify specific traits, but you could also begin with a specific trait (i.e., honesty) and work your way from there. The worksheet lists 7 questions for you to answer: Name a favorite person or leader who demonstrates great character.
The Art of Lying
This is a game activity. All the class should work individually. Each student should write three sentences: two should be true. one should be a lie. One by one, the students come to the front of the class and write all their sentences on the board. The rest of the class then need to find out which sentence is a lie.
64 Journaling Prompts for Self-Discovery
Ready, Set, Journal! 64 Journaling Prompts for Self-Discovery. How to start. The journal prompts. Getting unstuck. Takeaway. Your journal creates an opportunity to reconnect with yourself and ...
Teaching Guide: HONESTY
Other teaching guides in this series: Teaching guide ( discussion guide, lesson plans, teachers' guide ) for honesty & trustworthiness. Produced in association with Character Counts! Classroom discussion questions, writing assignments, student activities. For grades 7-12.
Helping Students Who Lie Using Counseling Interventions
Perspective-Taking. If your FBA reveals that your student is lying to gain approval from peers or adults, work on perspective-taking with your student. Help the student consider how her peers feel when they learn that she lied to them. Explore instances when someone has lied to her and help her to process how she felt in that moment to expand ...
Writing Activity: Stories about trust, truth and lying
This writing activity is based on two stories published in the May/June 1994 issue of Stone Soup: "The Mother's Day Gift" by Mathew Thompson, 11, and "The Clay Pot" by Naomi Wendland, 12. Follow the links to open the stories in a new window, and read both of them carefully as part of the activity. These two stories deal with the same problem ...
What to Do When Students Lie
In general, the only way to overcome this is to develop a loyalty equal to the loyalty of peers, so that betraying you, the teacher, by lying goes against the same value. If presented with a lie, nothing short of an interrogation can change the student's response. Accept it and move on.
Is It OK to Lie?
It turns out that lying might even be good for your social life. White lies can help you smooth out awkward situations and make others around you feel better, says Dr. Robert Feldman, a professor who researches lying. In this way, he says, lying could be seen as a valuable social skill.
Creative Writing Prompts: Character Secrets and Lies
Below are writing prompts to help you find some ideas for internal secrets, lies (and therefore conflict) for your characters. Or, to find characters and stories, begin by writing about secrets and lies. These exercises are great prompts for journal writing, or will help your work-in-progress fiction as well. Write about a broken promise.
Weekly Writing Prompt: Two Truths and a Lie
Writing Prompt: Two Truths and a Lie. Ask your friend* to tell you two truths and a lie about themselves. Without asking which one is false, write a story or scene about a character for whom all three statements are true. Post your response in the comments below in 500 words or fewer. *If you don't have anyone who's available to help you with ...
The Lie Monster story: A printable tale about honesty
His lie is like a monster following him around and the more he lies, the bigger the monster gets. It's a great story about making honest decisions throughout the day. Printed pages of the Lie Monster to tell your kids. It's a great way to illustrate the ugly reality when you tell a lie and how it makes you feel inside.
31 Deep Writing Prompts » JournalBuddies.com
Journal writing is a wonderful resource for self-discovery and self-reflection. Encourage the young people in your life to make journaling a habit to find clarity, reduce anxiety, and explore new ideas. 140 More Prompts to Dig Deeper. 53 Reflective Journal Prompts for Students; 52 Self Love Journal Prompts to Help Students Thrive
One of Us is Lying
One of Us is Lying - Writing Assignments. HotTaiga. 134. 0. 0. 0. 1/1. Let's do English ESL creative writing prompt. This is a writing assignments worksheet that can be used as a foolw-up activity for students who have read "One of….
One of Us Is Lying Essay Topics & Writing Assignments
One of Us Is Lying Essay Topics & Writing Assignments. McManus, Karen M. This set of Lesson Plans consists of approximately 88 pages of tests, essay questions, lessons, and other teaching materials. Print Word PDF. View a FREE sample. Essay Topic 1. Simon says that his gossip app, All That, is a public service. The things Simon reveals about ...
Truth vs Lie Writing Worksheet / Worksheet (Teacher-Made)
Support students in understanding the reasons behind telling the truth vs telling a lie with these worksheets. Twinkl Twinkl Ireland Resources SET Social, Emotional and Mental Health. consequences of lying honesty autism resources telling the truth autism activities telling lies. honesty activities truth and lies honesty worksheet lying two ...
21 Journal Prompts to Help You Make Decisions with Integrity and Love
Use these questions and prompts to help you identify the practices that'll keep you true to who you are and how you want to show up in life. Use a journal and give yourself the time and space to reflect on your values... so you can act with intention when it's most important. 21 Journal Prompts to Help You Make Decisions You Can Be Proud Of. 1.
One of Us is Lying Study Guide
Key Facts about One of Us is Lying. Full Title: One of Us Is Lying. When Written: 2010s. Where Written: Cambridge, Massachusetts. When Published: 2017. Literary Period: Contemporary. Genre: Young adult fiction, mystery. Setting: Bayview, California. Climax: Addy, with the help of her classmates Bronwyn, Cooper, and Nate, discovers that their ...
A Guide on How To Stop Lying and Start Living More Authentically
Find Healthy Alternatives. Change takes time and effort, so starting small is a good idea. Consider: a) reflecting on the circumstances in which you're most compelled to lie, b) creating honesty-anchored responses to these situations. c) staying genuine by: changing the subject, i.e.:
From "I will not lie" to "I tell the truth"
Well, the point is clearly missed. And this is why: you will not get positive results if you give an assignment based on a negative statement: "I shall NOT cheat", "I shall NOT lie", "I ...
writing sentences for lying? : r/Parenting
Rather than writing sentences, give him mini "homework assignments". When he's caught lying, have him research some topic you think he might have interest in. Hell, you could have him research pathological liars. Then, he can either write a report or just discuss the thing with you.
Integrity in nursing students: A concept analysis
Cheating on exams, plagiarizing writing assignments, lying, inadequately preparing for clinical assignments and falsifying documentation in a patient's chart are described in the nursing literature, and depict behaviors that demonstrate a lack of integrity in nursing students (Baxter and Boblin, 2007).