presentation of flowers to mary at wedding

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13 Creative Ways to Honor Mary at a Catholic Wedding

There are many ways to honor Our Lady during the nuptial Mass.

In between choosing color schemes and cake flavors during wedding planning, it’s important for engaged couples to remain steadfast in their devotion and love of the Holy Family, the greatest of all families, as there’s no better role model for marriage. 

Many Catholic couples present Marian bouquets to the Blessed Mother on their wedding day as a sign of trust in Mary. But there are many ways to honor Our Lady during the nuptial Mass, as several couples explained to the Register as they recalled their wedding days.

Mari and Trey Wagner

For the first three years of her life, Mari Wagner lived in Colombia, South America. Her family, like most Latin American families, grew up culturally Catholic, but didn’t start living her faith until college, Wagner said. 

Wagner remembers her grandma teaching and talking about Mary, she said, recalling Marian icons and statues around her grandmother’s house and how she would teach her the Hail Mary and talk about how Mother Mary could intercede for us. 

“I think I truly grew up having a relationship with Mary before I really had a relationship with Jesus,” Wagner said. “She has just been part of my story for as long as I can remember.”

When Wagner’s mother found out she was unexpectedly pregnant with Mari, many of her friends suggested abortion. Instead, she sought out Mother Mary’s comfort and help. She went to their Marian garden and asked Mary for a coral rose — her favorite color — as a clear sign that it was God’s will for her to keep the baby. 

No roses had grown in the garden before, but a week later, the day before her mom had to make a decision, she discovered a fully bloomed coral rose right next to the Mary statue. 

“Knowing that [story] opened my eyes to just one of the reasons why I have such a close relationship with Mary,” Wagner said. “Mary has always been my mother, and has always been protecting me, and just close to me ever since I was really conceived.”

1. Coral Rose in the Bouquet

Wagner married on March 13, 2021. One way that Wagner chose to honor Mary in her wedding was placing a coral rose in her bouquet as a way to remember the choice her mother made and the constant guidance and protection Mary provides. 

2. Rosaries in the Bridesmaid Bouquets  

Wagner currently runs a Rosary business, West Coast Catholic. The inspiration came when Wagner and her husband, Trey — who was her boyfriend at the time — were both Fellowship of Catholic University Students (FOCUS) missionaries, and after spending his summer working at a FOCUS team camp in 2018, Trey came back and taught Mari how to make rosaries. They picked out different beads and string, and the very first West Coast Catholic rosary was made. This first Rosary inspired their Sea of Galilee Rosary.

“That first rosary drew me to pray the Rosary more than ever, really,” Wagner said. 

“I wasn’t a very avid Rosary prayer. But with the sheer beauty of the beads, the cord and the intentionality behind the way it was made, I was just drawn to prayer through beauty.”

Now, Wagner offers a wide selection of rosaries on her site . At her wedding, each bridesmaid’s bouquet was wrapped with Wagner’s Immaculate Heart Rosary , a soft pink and white beaded rosary inspired by Mary’s Immaculate Heart. In between the colored beads are small, golden beads that point to Mary’s queenship.

3. Praying a Decade of the Rosary Together  

Before the wedding Mass, Mari and Trey prayed a decade of the Rosary together. This was a practice they had when they were dating, which they called a “daily dating decade,” in order to pray for their relationship together. 

4. Singing the Salve Regina

At their wedding, Mari and Trey decided present a bouquet to Mary while the Salve Regina was sung. 

Grace and Frank Vitale

Grace Vitale didn’t know how to pray the Rosary until she met her future husband, Frank, four years ago. 

When the two met, Frank told Grace that his dad jokingly said he couldn’t bring a girl home unless she knew how to pray the Rosary. Determined to learn the Rosary, Grace would listen to audio recordings of the Rosary and go on “Rosary walks” with Frank. 

“My love for Mary exploded,” Grace said. “I have never felt such comfort in praying for any saint’s intercession. I just love the idea of this perfect mother and this perfect woman who I could model. I had female role models, but none that were the Mother of Christ.”

The Vitales began dating in 2020 and married on June 18, 2022. 

5. Sapphires in Her Engagement Ring 

Both Grace and Frank’s moms had sapphires in their engagement rings, so Grace wanted the same. Grace said that there is Marian theology associated with sapphires, but Grace also wanted to honor their earthly mothers with her engagement ring. 

6. Children’s Flower Procession and Presenting the Bouquet

Rather than just a few flower girls, Grace had an entire children’s flower procession. They had flowers ready in the back of the church, and any child in the church who wanted to could pick a flower and walk down the aisle together. The children then put all of the flowers in one vase, which formed the bouquet that Grace and Frank presented to Mary during their nuptial Mass. 

“I hope to have kids someday, and honoring Mary right from the beginning with the children, I just loved the idea of a childlike faith,” Grace said. “I loved honoring our mothers, in hopes of having that connection of a childlike faith, and then going to our Mother, for help and guidance throughout our marriage.”

7. Designing Holy Family Holy Cards 

As a gift to her guests, Grace designed Holy Family holy cards and placed them at each table at the reception. Grace, an avid designer and artist, has an Instagram account, The Cradle Catholic , which features all of her art and creations. She sells a variety of items, including sweatshirts and stickers, and often posts reels debunking many misconceptions about Mary and Catholicism. 

8. Wearing a Miraculous Medal and White Roses  

Besides earrings, the only jewelry Grace wore was a simple Miraculous Medal. Her bouquet was also entirely made up of white roses as one more way to honor Mary. 

Leah and Patrick Nalepa 

Even though Leah and Patrick Nalepa both attended college together, they never went on a date. 

Months after reconnecting at a friend’s wedding, Patrick asked Leah on a date. They dated long distance for a few years and married on Jan. 4, 2020. 

The Nalepas’ wedding was at Old St. Mary’s parish in Detroit — the same church Leah’s parents were married. Many of their bridesmaids and groomsmen were not Catholic, so in order to expose them to the faith in a non-pushy way, the couple invited the bridal party to arrive at the church one hour early for a time of prayer and adoration, Leah said. 

9. Presenting a Marian Bouquet With Parents  

When the Nalepas presented their bouquet to Mary, they decided to present it together with their parents. 

“We placed the bouquet in front of her, and while we were doing that, we had our parents both come up behind each of us and say a prayer with us,” Leah said. “They put their hands on our shoulders, and we all prayed together as a newly married couple and the new family, and, quite frankly, under the mantle of Our Mother.”

Emily and Tim Malloy 

Although Emily Malloy had every intention of attending law school, she met her husband, Tim, in college, and fell in love. He proposed to her after her last final. 

She put law school on hold as Tim was preparing to enter the Army, but after an injury, it became clear he probably wouldn’t make it past officer-candidate school. 

In this pause, the Lord broke in, Emily said. She decided to apply for an apprentice job at a local flower shop and quickly discovered her deep passion and appreciation for flowers. Although the only task she had permission to do was sweep the shop floor as an apprentice, she later became the manager and floral designer at the shop.

Now, Emily is the food and floral editor for “ Theology of Home ” and has been married to her husband for 12 years. The Malloys have four children. 

10. Kneeling at the Feet of Mary

On April 30, 2010, Emily and Tim knelt at the feet of Mary, beseeching and imploring the Blessed Mother for her help and love, Emily recalled. As they presented their bouquet to Mary, they did so to the Salve Regina , rather than the traditional “Ave Maria.”

“Flowers accompany us throughout all our lives, and in a special way during weddings,” Malloy said. “There’s something very special about that outward offering and gift [to Mary]. It’s great to be intentional in the manner in which it’s done.”

11. Praying With the Bride  

“There was a lot of emotion tied up in the day, and I was really afraid that I was just going to be a puddle,” Emily said.

Emily remembers turning to one of her bridesmaids before the ceremony and telling her about her nervousness. Her friend gathered the rest of the bridesmaids, and they all prayed with Emily together. 

“They all got up and ran and put their hands on me and prayed. It was such a special Holy Spirit-driven moment,” Emily said. “It was just so special and one of my favorite moments.”

12. Sewing Miraculous Medal Into the Wedding Dress

Although Emily did not do this herself, she had the idea of sewing a Miraculous Medal into her wedding dress after she broke down her own dress and turned it into a baptismal gown for her children and had a Marian image embroidered onto the gown, she said. 

“It’s just a really special, subtle way of having Our Lady close to you,” she said. 

13. Using Marian Flowers 

Now, as a floral editor, Emily has learned all different kinds of Marian flowers that could be used in a wedding, depending on the season. Lily of the valley and tulips work well in spring; roses, foxglove, honeysuckles and peonies are perfect for summertime; and the star of Bethlehem and amarilla pair well with winter, she explained. 

“There’s so much that can be divinely inspired through the process of being with flowers,” Emily said. “The Lord speaks to us through that. He created us to tend the garden; that was our job. The ability to connect with him in nature and in the garden shows this real love story. I can’t imagine my life without flowers.” 

• blessed mother
• catholic weddings
• hannah cote
• marian devotion

Hannah Cote Hannah Cote is a pastoral associate and copywriter for Damascus, an apostolate in Centerburg, Ohio. She is a recent graduate of Hillsdale College and former Register intern.

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Should We Give Flowers to Mary in Our Catholic Wedding?

Couples will often bring a flower to the statue of Mary in the church and offer prayers asking for her intercession. This ritual usually takes place at the end of the ceremony, before the final blessing . You may also be able to choose a Marian hymn such as the “Ave Maria” to be sung during this time. Praying the Hail Mary after laying the flowers before the statue of Mary is a simple way to carry out this devotion. Check with parish guidelines about what options are available to you.

What kind of flowers should be placed before the statue of Mary during a Catholic wedding? While almost any flower would be appropriate for this devotion, the flowers that have a special connection to the Virgin Mary are lilies, roses, the iris, impatiens, marigolds, violets, the May Hawthorn, and many others. Arrange for one of these flowers to be placed near your seats in front of the church so that when the time comes to bring the flowers to Mary, you will be able to pick them up and take them to the statue.

Alternatively, couples can take some time after the conclusion of the ceremony (but before pictures!) to bring flowers to Mary privately in the parish chapel or in the church after the guests have left.

See also “ Catholic Wedding Traditions .”

© Ave Maria Press. Adapted from Together for Life .

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QUAERITUR: The origin of giving flowers to Mary during weddings.

A priest friend recently asked if I knew the origin of the “custom” during weddings of giving flowers to Mary, by placing them at her statue or image (which some protestants probably think is mighty strange).

I must admit, I don’t have a clue where this came from.  It smacks of the Mediterranean, but I can’t say for sure.

However, this should not be done during a Nuptial Mass.  There is no provision for this in the rubrics.  The same goes for “unity candles”.  Don’t ask to do it.

Don’t blame me!  It’s not part of the rite.

Let the Nuptial Mass be the Nuptial Mass without additional subjective and sentimental additions intruding on what it already says and does.

After Mass … that’s another kettle of fish.

But back to the question.  Aside from the fact that it shouldn’t be done ( during Mass) , does anyone know the origin of this custom?

About Fr. John Zuhlsdorf

50 comments.

We do it here in Guam which was a Spanish colony for 230 years. Spanish missionaries gave us the custom and it has survived here to this day. Prior to V2, I am almost sure this floral presentation happened after the Mass. In the NO, it happens either right after communion or after the Post Communion prayer right before the dismissal. The meaning : asking Mary as mother of the family for her blessing. I think it comes from intense Spanish Marian devotion.

I would think it is a spanish custom as it is VERY widespread custom in México but here it is always done right after the final blessing and before the nuptial recession. Normally it is acompanied with a moment of prayer of the bride and groom alone under the image of the Virgin (usually our Lady of Guadalupe).

My cousin is Portuguese and after the recessional at her wedding, she and her husband came back into the church, down a side aisle, to leave her bouquet for the Virgin and to pray together. I’m assuming that was OK since Mass was over…?

I first heard of this custom years ago in the “Latin-English Booklet Missal for Praying the Traditional Mass for the Bridegroom and Bride”, which contains the complete marriage service and nuptial Mass for the Extraordinary Form (published by the Coalition in Support of Ecclesia Dei). After the “Deo gratias” of the Last Gospel (page 51), it says:

“According to local custom, the bride may make a presentation of flowers to [the] Blessed Mother at the Marian altar/shrine while a Marian hymn is sung.” The recessional then follows.

I’ve never been able to find this in any official liturgical book, in either form of the Roman Rite. However it would appear that it was customary in some places before Vatican II?

I’ve heard that in weddings of recent times, it is both the bridegroom and bride who make this visit to the BVM, often also visiting a shrine of St Joseph as well, or sometimes the groom alone visits St Joseph, and the bride visits the BVM.

The Spanish side of my family does this – after the final blessing.

I had assumed it was a Germanic or northern European custom, as that was the type of parish I grew up in. It was a common custom in my area. I have a vague memory of hearing that a famous princess in olden days did this and made it popular. Many, many years ago, my husband and I did this at the Brompton Oratory, which is fairly stringent as to liturgical rules, at our Latin Mass wedding, immediately after the vows and before we went into the sacristy for the signing of the registry book, an English thing, at the end of the Mass of the Catechumens and before the Mass of the Faithful. The Oratory choir sang some fantastic Marian Gregorian Chants. (I also had the traditional, old blessing of the bride in the sanctuary). My mother, all my aunts and most of my cousins, all on the Luxembourg side, did this custom of praying to the Virgin to bless our marriages. I know the custom in the Midwest is at least 64 years old-pre-Vatican II and Tridentine Mass obviously, as my parents just had their wedding anniversary and my mom and dad did that. We are not Spanish or have any Mediterranean background, my family being from Bohemia, Moravia and Luxembourg. I also know of families from Holland who did this, as we did, for generations. I even had a special bouquet for this little ceremony and placed it at the side altar of Our Lady of Victory at the Oratory. I prayed for Mary to bless our marriage in the spirit of her intercession at Cana. I had assumed it was a Midwest custom, and so many of the people there were northern European immigrants; and it pre-dates Vatican II, as I noted above. I did it because it had been done in the family for years, and apparently at the Oratory as well by other brides and grooms, as when I brought it up the priest in charge of the Liturgy (a bishop married us) commented on how traditional I was. If I were there, I would ask him if he knows the origin. He was obviously familiar with the custom. Just to complicate things, it was also the custom for the brides in our family to carry a rosary up under the bouquet.

My husband and I did this during our Extraordinary Form wedding, after Communion and before the final blessing, with the choir singing Ave Maris Stella in plainchant. I wouldn’t lump it together with the Unity Candle nonsense, which is by all accounts non-religious in origin.

“I also had the traditional, old blessing of the bride in the sanctuary”

How beautiful! Please explain.

I think it is an older version of the blessing of the bride and groom, which happened after the Postcommunion. I know it was not the same one which is in the 1962 Missal, but an older and much longer version. The priest actually blesses the bride and not the groom in this version. I do not have my ceremony memories with me so I cannot help you with the details, but the blessing emphasizes child-bearing and obedience to the husband, etc. What was so cool at the Oratory was that one got to walk up to the high altar, where women never go, for this blessing. I remember it well, as it was so moving. As I am at the moment renting a holiday place and do not have my library, I would suggest looking at a pre-1962 Missal. Perhaps, as I got married in England, it was an English variation on the blessing.

clarification: English as in country version, as the blessing was in Latin.

I think I’ve heard about that here in the Netherlands

As soon as I read this post, I thought to myself, “Fr. Z needs SuperTradMum to ‘splain to him what the deal is with this.” Thank you, @Supertradmum and @Geoffrey for doing so! I have read about the flower/statue thing in a Tridentine Mass booklet, however I forget which one it was and cannot now find that reference. Similarly, aren’t there a variety of statue-decoration activity outside of Mass, that are fine Catholic traditions? I’m thinking of May crowning and whatnot (which my “catholic” elementary school did years ago). I don’t know where this custom came from, but I would bet money that it is not older than Grace Kelly’s wedding to Prince Rainier of Monaco-who by the way, carried a prayerbook and rosary with her bouquet!

I think we should more carefully define what the ‘flower’ activity is. How do the rubrics for Mass prevent someone from going and praying in front of a statue of their choosing, after communion? This is basically, what the activity consists of for the well-catechized bride at an EF or OF Mass. The flower is on some level, secondary. I would appreciate more follow up on this from Fr. Z. Thanks!

(Digressions: I love to complain about weddings, so let me say that for brides who spend $$$(big bucks) on flowers, the CHEAPEST flower-arrangement-as told to me by both a parish wedding planner, brides and florists, is always the *one and only* arrangement that remains in church-and should really be an arrangement designed to last!- at the statue of Mary. Most parishes request that ALL flowers be removed after the wedding (you’d think this would save a parish money in the flower budget?) but only the arrangement at the statue of Mary can stay in church. Reception hall flowers-and other arrangements that will be photographed, on the other hand, always get budgeted more $$$ than the flowers that should stay fresh for at least a few days in church. This makes little sense on many levels, in my opinion. I have seen fancy weddings with awesomely cheap (a single stem rose?!) left in a vase in front of a statue. If you can afford real flowers for both the church and the reception site, you can get something quality to decorate our Lady’s statue. No, I am not a wedding florist but I would love to talk to you about photographic cosmetics for your wedding day. Hint Hint -I’m a mark makeup rep). End of my digression.

I have a few comments about the flower tradition: my mother did leave flowers at the statue of Mary at her NO wedding Mass in the 1980’s and she claims that folks did this at the Latin Mass, pre-Vatican II (I wasn’t there, so I can’t know for sure). She doesn’t remember if my father also did this, but said it was also common at this time. I didn’t have a wedding Mass, but did take a separate bouquet (designed for this purpose!) to the statue of Mary with my bridesmaids. It was a quiet and useful moment.

A few comments about GROOMS doing a similar action: Is it me, or is there something hyper-politically correct about the groom doing everything exactly the same as the bride, no? Last time I checked, male and female each have a different role to play in the marriage. Pre-Vatican II and pre-feminist generations, seemed to have a more reality-based notion of the roles of men and women, and expectations. Obviously, grooms need to pray to St. Joseph for help with their new obligations, as the bride does, but typically grooms don’t tote around a bouquet? My point here is, this should be about praying for help, not fussing with flowers.

In the minds of poorly catechized catholics ( I heard plenty of their ideas about what I should and should not do at my own wedding!) this is just a substitute “photo op” usually encouraged by priests, parents or parish wedding planners, thoughtful enough to know better than to use a unity candle. For the poorly-catechized Catholic, this is a Catholic-version of the unity candle, as Fr. Z intimated in his post. For others, like those in the comments, this is a prayerful observance that is old (but I’m not sure how old!).

A fascinated topic for a future post is the difference between custom (local) vs. convention (common to an entire culture/society) and superstition (neither custom not convention, but something people do any, motivated by well, the wrong reasons) and the subject of weddings, nuptial Masses, etc.

Finally, I haven’t yet searched WDTPRS for ‘unity candles’ but can someone generate a ‘SAY NO TO UNITY CANDLES’ coffee mug? I know, hm, a dozen people who each need a set badly. THANK YOU!

I recently had a discussion with a non-Catholic (raised by fundamentalist Christians) who found this practice to be highly offensive. She thought it proved that we Catholics worship Mary. Needless to say, I quickly enlightened her and explained that we do not worship Mary or any of the saints. Fortunately she believed me, and felt bad for jumping to conclusions. Obviously there are non-negotiable aspects of a Catholic wedding mass and we can’t worry about offending every non-Catholic guest, but I think it’s important to be aware of how outsiders might perceive some of the “extras” we throw into the mix. All that to say, I totally agree with you, Father Z. However, if I hadn’t had that conversation with the non-Catholic I wouldn’t have even thought of it being a potential problem.

I think it’s a beautiful thing for a bride to honor Mary, the ultimate wife and mother, but perhaps it could be done privately? And what about poor Joseph? Doesn’t he count for anything?

I don’t have an answer, but I have a hint I once received. When I was a parish priest we did a lot of weddings where I was. We had a lovely side altar dedicated to Mary (at which I said some of my first tries at the EF!) where almost all the brides wanted to make this little pilgrimage. One of the devout older ladies of the parish used to object to this frequently, saying that the ‘flowers to Mary’ used to be the privilege of some sodality or other, and not the right of every bride. Unfortunately, she had no further information for me, and nor have I been able to discovery anything.

I concur with Father Z. It should not be done during Holy Mass.

As a master of ceremonies, I have come up with two points where it could be apropos. The first is immediately following Holy Mass, in lieu of “the kiss.” I think that overt displays of affection in a sacred space are not appropriate, so often times I will coordinate with the celebrant and the two being married to place the flowers on the BVM altar (as a sign of respect for her role as the mother of humanity) at the point where they would normally kiss, at the end of Holy Mass. I have them delay “the kiss” until such time as it is more apropos, such as the moment they are met outside the main doors of the church or during the reception, when they are introduced.

The second time, which is much less desirable is during Holy Communion of the faithful. Since, technically, the distribution of Holy Communion is extra-liturgical, that would be the time….after proper reflection of the couple once they have consumed the Sacred Species. While the faithful are approaching the rail, the couple may then place the flowers. As I said, much less desirable, but a possibility.

As for the “unity candle;” I remind both the celebrant and the couple to married that this has no place in the Mass or ceremony and that they should do this in a “ceremony” to kick off the reception. Actually, it works quite well and is often times remembered as being a very nice way to remember the reception.

This does not make me necessarily the most popular person, but I am ok with that, as long as the integrity of the liturgical action is kept intact.

The unity candle comments are intriguing. My parents were married by the strictest, most traditional priest I have ever known (refuses communion in hands, uses altar rail, etc.), yet not only did he allow the unity candle, he actually purchased them himself. Every couple he married had the exact same kind of unity candle. My parents displayed theirs in our home, and I just assumed that the unity candle was a part of the ceremony the same way candles are used during a baptism. I was married by another very traditional priest (in fact a close friend of the one who married my parents), and we used a unity candle at our wedding. I cannot remember if he actually encouraged us to have a unity candle or if he asked whether we intended to use one. In any case, we did it. I just as soon wouldn’t have had I known it wasn’t a requirement.

Fr. Charles,

I know that my Mother in 1948 did not belong to any sodality in order to do this flower thing. And, my aunts of her generation did not either, nor those on the other side of the family. It was a very common custom, and I think it is a really old custom, as I and others have noted. It happens in Europe, as well as in America, as noted. It is interesting, but I think regarding these sorts of things,women have a longer corporate memory for such customs than men. I wish my grandmothers were alive, so I could ask them about it, if they and their mothers did such a thing in the 19th and early 20th centuries. Some of these histories die out with the lack of oral tradition.

That’s the problem with unity candles, people think they’re necessary. I remember one bride who consulted with me about the ceremony and asked “Do I HAVE to have a unity candle?” When I asked why she was asking that way she replied that she didn’t really want it but her mother was insisting. This bride wasn’t even Catholic, she was marrying a Catholic. She was relieved when I explained that it wasn’t part of the Catholic rite and that they couldn’t possibly add anything that was more meaningful than the vows and exchange of rings. She was delighted to hear that.

Of course even worse than the unity candle is the unity sand ceremony. GAG!

The allowance for local customs has long been characteristic of occasional services in the Traditional form of the Roman Rite. The offering of flowers to the Blessed Mother is characteristic of the Spanish-speaking world, as well as former Spanish colonies. This would include the Philippines, where they also have the covering with the veil, the tying with the cord, and the offering of gold coins for the “bride price.” For that matter, those same countries eschewed the Rituale Romanum in favor of the Ritual of Toledo (not to be confused with the Mozarabic), even at the directive of bishops of those countries.

In any case, I have rarely seen a TLM wedding done the same way twice. Some in the States use an American edition of the Rituale, some the English (and both are different in little ways). Since the Mass is usually “suspended” when ethnic customs occur, a violation of rubrics is generally not at issue.

The unity candle — well, that’s something else again.

buffaloknit,

At the Oratory, all the brides of the day get together and agree on flowers, as they stay in the Church. It was easier that way as well. I did not know parishes asked for flower removal. They do not in England, as we enjoy the flowers from the weddings all week in most places. What a waste to do otherwise. As to unity candles, I have both attended numerous weddings and been in several as a bridesmaid in days gone and I have never seen this used, thank God. It seems Proddie to me.

My question regarding this is: When, properly speaking, is the Mass over so that something like this may be done? Is it immediately after “Ite missa est”, or is it after the recessional?

I, too, wonder where this comes from. In my parish, where we have OF English, OF Spanish and EF, we have all kinds of customs. In the Nuptial Mass in Spanish, the rubrics indicate the giving and receiving of arras (coins) by the groom and the bride, respectively. This happens right after the exchange of rings. After this, it is customary to impose the lazo (a special Rosary) over the heads of the newly bound couple while they are kneeling on the prie-dieu. Typically, this Rosary is then placed over the marriage bed in their home. I bring this up only to wonder if there was ever a time when the presentation of flowers was, in fact, given a place rubrically.

At the moment I am involved in arranging the occasional wedding in my Parish Church. Some priests don’t allow any flowers to be removed, but as we have a simple church, I tell the couples that as long as the priest is happy with it, we only ask that they leave the two main arrangements placed either side of the Tabernacle. We would never ask for them all to be removed! It’s beautiful to go into the church and see the special flower arrangements. Most weddings I’ve seen have the ‘nuptial candle’ (probably the same thing as the ‘unity’ candle) but I only started seeing it a few years ago. We don’t have the tradition of leaving flowers for Our Lady; our traditions are a mix of English and mediterraean, so I would have thought we’d have had some instances of it if it was a Spanish or Portuguese custom.

@ ContraMundum;

If you’re speaking of the TLM, it would be after final gospel.

If you’re speaking of the Novus Ordo, it would be after the dismissal.

I am an organist and when I was working for Catholic parishes, couples celebrating 50 or 60 or 70 years would come up to me and ask me if I could work in “On This Day, O Beautiful Mother” on their anniversaries because that what was they sang when they gave flowers to the Madonna their weddings. In the next breath, they’d tell me how they had to get married early in the morning because you had to fast from midnight to receive Holy Communion back then.

And, the reason the groom usually walks with the bride has less to do with PC silliness than the difficulty that those of us who seldom wear large dresses have getting around when we do have to wear them. Plus, churches have been altered so that the bride often has to walk much farther and go down steps to get there. When I got married, I had what is called a cathedral train and I was quite happy to have my husband escort me up and down the steps, even though I had always figured I’d be traditional and go alone.

I think the Catholic use of the Unity Candle can be blamed on the “Together for Life” book and the prevalence of mixed and convert marriages. I’m pretty sure it was a Protestant custom long before it became THE thing for secular weddings.

I think the custom comes from the truth that Mary is the Mediatrix of all Graces.

At my own recent wedding, immediately after my husband and I received Communion, we walked over and knelt in front of Mary. (Partly for the logistical reason of getting “out of the way” of the rest of the line.) I am rather baffled at how it would have been any different had I happened to have flowers in my hand and then set them down at that time.

I’m told that at our local Anglo-Catholic parish (once “orthodox,” now signed up to the new religion) the male homosexual couples who have their civil unions marked by a church ceremony leave their corsages at the Marian shrine. That was the first time I’d heard of the custom, but disposed me against it.

This is a custom at Assumption Grotto; but, as Father Z points out, it doesn’t happen until the Mass is over.

Here’s one snap shot I took at a recent wedding there: http://te-deum.smugmug.com/Weddings-at-Grotto/Extraordinary-Form-Weddings/Marion-Stump-Wedding/i-9Dc2f3G/0/XL/20111022-IMG9781-XL.jpg

The late Fr. John C. Dougherty (ordained 1945) maintained that this custom grew out of a privilege which was once restricted to brides who had been members of the Children of Mary. With the passage of time this privilege simply became an expectation of all brides.

From my perspective it now appears that this quaint custom no longer holds much meaning for most brides beyond a photo op.

I don’t know where the tradition started, but it certainly is one done in our church. It is always done after the Last Gospel, before the recessional (there is no “I introduce Mr. and Mrs. So and So, and “you may kiss the bride,” …the latter happens OUTSIDE of church.) Father comes down the steps, the bride and groom rise and go to the statue of Our Lady and present her flowers; some of us choose to read a short consecration prayer of our lives to Our Lady; we return to the center, and the recessional begins. Certainly, I would think, a beautiful way to begin a married life…consecrating it to She Who will watch over us! I’m fairly certain my parents gave the flowers to Our Lady at her altar as well, in 1953,

Before the changes in the Church, women had very few allowances to be up in the sanctuary(cleaning, flowers, altar linens perhaps, etc.); but it was a special privilege of the bride to be kneeling in the sanctuary on her wedding day during the nuptial Mass.

On another note, someone above mentioned the pre-Vatican II blessing during the Mass…I think it’s after the Post-Communion before the final blessing…or is it after the Pater Noster? Don’t remember at the moment. But yes, it is specifically for the bride, and her role of hopefully- to- be- mother. In fact, if a woman becomes a widow and marries again, she does not receive that blessing a second time and it is omitted from the ceremony.

At the wedding of a friend a couple years ago, she and her husband gave flowers to Mary and prayed at her altar right after the Last Gospel (EF form Nuptial Mass). It was really beautiful. I’m sure they were praying…not just doing it “cause everyone else does”.

At another friend’s wedding last April, she went to Mary’s altar and prayed while her husband went to St. Joseph’s altar and prayed (again EF, after Last Gospel). After praying they rejoined at the center and processed out.

@Kat (there is no “I introduce Mr. and Mrs. So and So, and “you may kiss the bride,”

I bet this cuts down on the hooting and hollering that seems to plague most of the weddings I’ve attended.

I find unity candles lame and gimmicky. I abhor it when the Paschal candle gets used as the unity candle. Now the new trend is “unity sand”. Blegh!

@APX…nope, no hooting and hollering! No clapping. Outside our church doors, in the vestibule, there is a sign that reads “There is a GRAND TRADITION of observing absolute SILENCE in church.”

It’s an EF congregation…anything spoken above a whisper, except by the priest or during the responses by the congregation or of course the singing, is, well, to say the least, frowned upon!

Unity… sand?

I’ve never yet married, so this is still fairly foreign territory, but I wonder how much of these things get worked in by non-Catholic or quasi-Catholic wedding planners for the sake of brides who want to cover all the bases (rubrics, if you will!) of a secular “fairy-tale” wedding. After all, the marriage is not valid unless the wedding ceremony has kept up with the Joneses!

Ah, yes, the “Unity Sandle” as I call it. I coordinate weddings for a church (about 70 of them every year) and about 2/3rds of the couples whose weddings I coordinate opt for the Unity Candle. Only once have I encountered the sand, and the priest could not fathom what on earth I meant when I advised him about it before the ceremony, but afterwards remarked that it was the most idiotic thing he had yet seen. He is not a fan of the Unity Candle, as it is, much less the “Sandle”.

Many of the brides will place a bouquet at the altar of the Virgin, and at the church I work for, it is always done just after the Communion of the Faithful.

@NoTambourines Unity… sand? Yes, also referred to as the “Sand Ceremony”. *eye roll* The more I read about these things, the happier I am to be Catholic, so I can actually have a meaningful ceremony- not some gimmick ceremony. If you’re ever in need of a quick good laugh, go online to some wedding places that sell these things and read the descriptions.

Blending two families together has never had a more beautiful result than with our 4pc. Two Shall Become One Sand Ceremony Unity Set. Both a wedding day essential and a time honored tradition, this distinctive unity sand allows brides and grooms, as well as any other important players in their life, to be a part of the celebration. With one large, featured vase and three smaller vases, the curvy set permits children from previous marriages or even a religious leader a place in the ceremony. Simply add sand of your choice to each of the smaller vases and give to each designated party. Just as the sand from the three vases are combined, never to be separated again… so shall your love be!

That previous marriage must not have had any unity sand to keep it together. Also, it’s good that they can add an extra vase of sand so the religious leader can have a place in the ceremony. Officiating it these days just doesn’t suffice.

I like the tradition of giving flowers to Mary during weddings. I’ve never seen it done, but it makes sense. Unity sand and unity candles make no sense to me whatsoever, and they’re so expensive!

I was married in 1973 and it was customary for brides to bring a small bouquet of flowers to Mary’s altar. It was a practice I personally still encourage women to do today. I remember vividly immediately following Holy Communion walking over to the side altar while the vocalist sang Ave Maria. It traditionally was the time of thanksgiving and reflection so it appeared to be an appropriate time to thank God and invoke the intercession and protection of Our Blessed Mother. To my surprise ( and to the surprise of the Priest) my husband accompanied me to the altar knelt and prayed. We consecrated our Marriage to Our Lady .Over the years through all the trials, tribulations, illnesses and difficulties I attribute the success of my marriage to Our Lady’s intercession. My Mother as well laid a bouquet at the Altar of Our Blessed Mother. She was happily married for 60 years.

After communion at my wedding, my wife went to the image of Our Lady of Czestochowa and offered a special Marian boquet while the organist sang the hymn Szerdecska Matko.

While she did that with her mother and grandmother, I went with my mother and father to light a candle to St. Joseph asking his intercession on our marriage.

Normally after communion, one prays in thanksgiving. What’s wrong with offering a prayer to Ss. Mary and Joseph after communion?

We rightly saved the Unity Candle for our reception.

I am not sure about America, but in England when I got married, we had to discuss canonical hours. I think this was true in the States as well at one time, as marriages were conducted in the mornings only not merely for Holy Communion rules but for ecclesiastical rules. I have assumed this was the case, as I remember my mother stating that one did not have night weddings, for example, in the 1940s, because of these hours. By the seventies, people were getting married at night, so again I assume the rules changed in the States. Maybe a canon lawyer with historical emphasis would know the details. My mother said one could not get married after twelve noon for years.

One got married in England in the morning because of ecclesiastical canonical hours for marriages. This was the rule for years that the Sacrament was only performed. In England, these were changed from eight in the morning to twelve to eight in the morning to three and then six. I still think there are no night weddings, but I could be wrong. Weddings could only take place within those hours. I remember this discussion in my planning of the wedding with the priest.

Father DiMaria,

I had no photos during my wedding as it was forbidden at the time and I did not want those anyway as such interrupt the solemnity of the Sacrament. We were offered a video and we said no for the same reasons. The priest was thrilled. As to photo opts, as the giving of the flowers to Mary happened immediately after the vows, as was the custom, again, no photos. In fact, we could not have photos before or after the Mass at the high altar as that also was not allowed. I am so grateful for such clear rules. The people in the pew were not allowed to take photos either, because of the nature of the Oratory works of art, etc. This was before cell phone cameras. I would imagine flash cameras are still forbidden.

Not all couples are photo nuts. I had two taken very quickly after Mass with the wedding party and the Bishop at the very Marian altar where I left the flowers. During the photos, the Bishop bent over and said to me, (as I had the florist make this design for flowers she invented-a curved bouquet for me with a smaller round one in the center, removable for Mary so it looked like one big one), that I should have given the larger one to Mary. I was laughing when the photo was taken. Maybe I should have, as I went to Vienna for my honeymoon and could not take the flowers onto the plane (rules), so I ceremoniously threw the bouquet into the River Ouse at Lewes on the second day, before leaving for the Continent and watched it float away as I was standing on the little bridge there. If I were a princess, it could have been the beginning of a new custom….

Of all of the liturgical items or “abuses” to get upset about, this seems silly to me.

When my husband and I got engaged a year and a half ago, the first thing we did before calling friends and family was to visit a church we frequented often to pray together. My husband had already brought 3 roses there – one for us to give to Mary, one to Joseph, and one for me, his future bride. We asked Mary and Joseph for their intercession for our upcoming marriage, and we didn’t tell friends and family that portion of our the “proposal story.”

At our wedding, post-Communion, the cantor sang the litany of saints and we visited the statues of both Mary and Joseph to once again ask for their intercession. It seemed appropriate to us to place the intercession of the Holy Family in the first moments of our marriage. In fact, our main celebrant actually gave us a statue of the Holy Family, which, to this day sits in a prominent place in our home. We’re expecting our first child in July.

@Supertradmum, until 1953 Mass could not be celebrated after noon. Pius XII’s Jan. 1953 Apostolic Constitution “CHRISTUS DOMINUS — Concerning The Discipline To Be Observed With Respect To The Eucharistic Fast”, the document that changed the eucharistic fast discipline to 3 hours before Communion also allowed ‘evening Masses’ on select days. These Masses were not to be celebrated before 4 p.m. Over the years those select days have expanded to allow evening Masses daily.

I was a Lutheran when I married and had a Unity Candle – which I thought was dumb but I was under the impression that it was mandatory. Now, as a Catholic, my biggest bit of input about my daughter’s wedding was, “No Unity candle, puhleeez.” She and her husband agreed ! I did find the leaving of flowers for Mary to be sweet…and as a convert I thought this was something very traditional.

I work in my parish office and so far I haven’t heard of any brides requesting that goofy sand thing. I saw it on some TV wedding show and my first thought was how long it would be until we had brides requesting it here. Our parish does request that a couple leave two arrangements in the church and there is often a lot of resistance as they want to use the flowers for the reception.

Founded on sand?

Sand, of all things, would have bad connotations for celebrating the “foundation” of a marriage.

Matthew 7:26-27 “And everyone who listens to these words of mine but does not act on them will be like a fool who built his house on sand. The rain fell, the floods came, and the winds blew and buffeted the house. And it collapsed and was completely ruined.”

In 1979, and again in 1981, I went to two weddings where the bride left flowers for Our Lady. The grooms were brothers, and the whole family was Catholic to the core. And the brides were, too! In the ’79 wedding (on September 8, Our Lady’s birthday), the bride [and I think the groom with her] took a small bouquet of flowers-not her own bridal bouquet, if I recall-after Communion and went to the Marian altar as the soloist sang the Ave Maria. They prayed there for the duration of the song, then returned to their kneelers for the end of the Mass. Two years later, when the older brother married, there was a somewhat different tack to the custom. At the time, his family was going to an Eastern Rite (Melkite) parish, and the pastor of that church came to co-officiate at the wedding Mass in the bride’s Latin Rite parish. The Melkite priest brought along a small icon of Our Lady, which was placed on an icon stand just inside the sanctuary. I think it was around Communion time when the bride simply placed a small bouquet on the stand, in front of the icon. Speaking of coins in the Spanish custom: I remember reading about the Royal wedding in 2004 of Crown Prince Felipe and Letizia Ortiz in Madrid. When they did the ceremony of the exchange of coins, a minor slip-up occurred when one or two of them were heard to ‘clink’ on the floor of the sanctuary. After the wedding ceremony, Felipe and Letizia went to the Atocha Basilica, where she left her bouquet at Our Lady’s feet there.

It was the custom in this area that the bridal party would stop here at the monastery on their way to the reception and while the nuns gathered at the choir grille and sang the Ave Maria the bride would give her flowers to Our Lady. It was all very Sound of Music-ish but lovely. No one does it anymore which is sad. I think that if the bridal party knew the sisters the prioress or a few sisters would then go to the parlor to congratulate them. Lots of Italians in the area so perhaps it’s an Italian custom.

I did the offering of flowers to Mary at our wedding. I’m 75 years young and I remember it being done at all weddings since I was young. It must be Spanish tradition. Most of the folks around here are Mexican with Spanish roots. What I didn’t want was the “Arras” (coins that the groom pours into the brides hands) At the time I didn’t really know what this signified. This was supposed to signify his sharing of his earnings (women didn’t work at that time) and her promise to handle the earnings wisely. I also didn’t want the “Lazo” It was always commented “now they are tied for life” I thought this was silly. This I regret not having after I learned at the significance of it. It seems the “Lazo” is composed of 2 large rosaries. One is draped over the bride, the other over the groom. They are connected with a crucifix in the middle. They are then unhooked, unscrewed, untied (whatever holds them together). One rosary is handed over to the mother of the bride, the other one to the mother of the groom so that they will pray for the couple. The crucifix is placed on the wall above the couples bed for them to pray to and remind them of their vows.

Pingback: It's The Bride In Me – QUAERITUR: The origin of giving flowers to Mary during weddings …

Arrhae was sort of a Frankish, Gothic, Germanic thing as filtered through Roman law, so it was the custom in places as farflung as England (the Saxons) and Spain (aforesaid Goths). The actual brideprice was negotiated and paid at a different time. At the betrothal ceremony immediately prior to the wedding, the groom paid a symbolic brideprice to the bride (coins, a ring, a sword or knife — anything valuable). The point was that a Frankish (etc.) woman was a valuable asset to her family or any family, so she didn’t need to bring the groom a dowry. When brideprice went out of fashion or dowries became more fashionable than brideprice, this often turned into an exchange of symbolic brideprice for symbolic dowry, or was softened into a gift exchange.

Anyway, the coins thing gradually became official in the Church, and the Sarum Rite used to use that too. So it’s not just a Spanish thing, although that’s more easily recognizable. If you get an engagement ring, you’ve essentially got arrhae.

And considering how the Hapsburgs got around, any custom that’s Spanish is often Austrian, etc. as well.

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Catholic Wedding Mass Traditions You’ll Want to Include in Your Wedding

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ATLANTA CATHOLIC WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER

Meet Nicole

One of the perks of being a Catholic wedding photographer is being very familiar with the way a Catholic wedding Mass works and being able to adjust to the unique quirks and scenarios of a Catholic wedding day with ease (check out my previous post about why Catholic brides need a Catholic photographer for their wedding for all the details on that). ANOTHER perk is that I know and can tell you about many of the cool, Catholic wedding Mass traditions you can incorporate into your wedding Mass to make it even more uniquely your own. I learned about a lot of these when I was planning my own wedding back in 2019 and I try to share them with all my Catholic couples! How many times in your life will you get to have a say (to a certain extent) in what happens during the Mass??

Croatian Crucifix (or Marriage Crucifix)

I absolutely love this tradition and incorporated it into my own Catholic wedding Mass! The sacrificial love that the crucifix represents is a perfect representation for the vocation of marriage. It’s called the marriage crucifix vs. a wedding crucifix because it’s a reminder of the lasting covenant the couple is entering into, not just a wedding day.

I tell my couples who plan on incorporating this tradition to begin by picking out a crucifix that they would like as the family crucifix in their home. During the wedding Mass, as the couple approaches the altar, the priest blesses the crucifix and says to the couple, “You have found your cross and it is a cross to be loved, to be carried, a cross not to be thrown away, but to be cherished.” Then, during the exchange of vows, the groom holds the crucifix in his right hand and the bride places her right hand on the top of the crucifix uniting their hands together as they say their vows.

St. Augustine said the cross is a “marriage bed [in which Christ] united himself with [His bride, the Church].” This centuries old tradition is linked back to a small town in Bosnia-Herzegovina called Siroki-Brijeg, which reportedly remains the only place in the world with a 0% divorce rate. It’s not necessary to include in your wedding, but it is certainly beautiful and a meaningful way to begin your marriage.

Bringing flowers or praying a consecration prayer during the Catholic Wedding Mass to Mary

In some places it is customary for the bride (or the bride and groom together) to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue or shrine to the Virgin Mary (assuming one is present in the Church). This is fairly common among the parishes in my diocese (maybe it’s not in yours!). During your Catholic wedding Mass, this happens after Holy Communion, and the Ave Maria or Salve will be sung while the couple prays in front of the statue.

This tradition recognizes the special role that Mary has as the mother not only of God, but of the Church and all the faithful (see  Catechism of the Catholic Church  963-965 ). It is natural, then, to request that Mary pray for you as you begin your own family. Some couples I know will do a Marian consecration leading up to their wedding day, and pray the final consecration prayer during this time.

You can also opt to honor your own mothers by taking a flower from the bouquet and handing it to your mother and thanking her for her motherhood and all the ways she helped you get to this moment in your life!

Consecration and/or flowers to St. Joseph, Holy Family, etc

Similarly to the Marian flowers, I’ve noticed that it’s become more of a thing for couples to also consecrate themselves/bring flowers to St. Joseph or the Holy Family during their Catholic wedding Mass. St. Joseph is a special patron for many people, and many churches have a statue or shrine dedicated in his honor. It can be as simple or prayerful as you like! Typically it takes place after Holy Communion as well. If you get married on one of St. Joseph’s feast days or the feast of the Holy Family, you might want to incorporate this into your wedding.

If you’re interested in learning more about the Consecration to St. Joseph, check out this website .

Las Arras Matrimoniales

These gold or silver coins are gifted from the wedding godparents (los padrinos y madrinas) or are a set of coins that have been passed down through the family.

During the Mass, the priest blesses the coins and then places them in the husband’s hands first, who then places the coins in his wife’s hands. Then the coins are often dropped to the floor. Typically there are 13 coins exchanged, 12 gold and 1 platinum, thought to represent the 12 months of the year. The extra platinum coin is meant to be shared with the less fortunate. One spouse presents the coins to the other to symbolize the prosperity of the marriage and the shared responsibility of life and finances.

Rosary or Patron Saint medal on bouquet

You can opt to wrap your bouquet with a yours or a family rosary as a way to have Mary by your side on your wedding day, or you can pin a favorite patron saint medal onto the bouquet ribbon. This can be a great alternative for brides getting married at churches who don’t have a statue or shrine of their favorite patron saint!

The wedding lasso rosary, or “El Lasso” is more popular in Mexican, Filipino, and Spanish communities. This tradition dates back to the 14th century and the lasso itself can be a rope, oversized rosary, or a floral rosary. It is a symbol of unity and represents an agreement to share the responsibility of the marriage and raising of a family.

After the couple has exchanged their vows, their wedding sponsors (witnesses) called el padrino and la madrina, place the rosary around the couple’s shoulders, starting with groom’s shoulder and then the bride’s shoulder, to form a figure eight shape. The priest recites a prayer, similar to the following: “Let the union of binding together this rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary be an inspiration to you both. Remember the holiness necessary to preserve your new family can only be obtained by mutual sacrifice and love.” The couple wears the lasso throughout the remainder of the service. At the end of the ceremony, the lasso is removed by the priest or by the wedding sponsors who placed the lasso around the couple. The figure eight shape of the lasso represents infinity and that there is end to the covenant the couple has entered into.

Other Catholic wedding Mass traditions

First, let me preface these with the fact that you’ll need to chat with the priest celebrating your Mass before you can opt to include them. Some churches might have restrictions in place that don’t allow these traditions or exceptions or your priest might not feel comfortable with them. Always a good idea to check first!

Like any special Mass, your nuptial Mass will have three readings and Psalm: the First reading (with the exception of the Easter Season) will be from the Old Testament, the second reading from the New Testament, and then a reading from one of the four Gospels. The Order for Celebrating Matrimony offers several options from Scripture that particularly express the importance and dignity of marriage. You were probably handed this list by a church lady when you picked out your wedding date or saw them listed in your marriage prep book. However, you may choose to go outside of these options, as long as at least one reading explicitly speaks of Marriage (and it’s okay with your celebrant!). That’s a fun fact that many Catholic brides don’t know! I recommend that if you go this route, that you and your future spouse prayerfully pick out the readings together, that you don’t shy away from the readings that say challenging things necessarily, and that you spend time praying Lectio Divina with the readings you choose leading up to your wedding day. Some of my best friends opted into having the Crucifixion gospel read at their wedding because they wanted to remember the significance of sacrificial love for their marriage.

During Holy Communion, you and your spouse can minister the Precious Blood to each other, even if you aren’t trained as extraordinary ministers. My husband and I were told about this tradition by the priest that celebrated our wedding Mass. We agreed that it was an image of the way we wanted to serve each other in our marriage – “this is My blood, given up for you.” Again, check with your priest if it’s okay with him first!

If you and your spouse to be can’t narrow down to one or two saints to dedicate your marriage to, you can create a personalized litany of saints to be sung during your wedding Mass! Talk to your musician(s) and create a litany with saints that you love and want to pray for you, and have it sung during or after Communion.

At the end of the day, remember that no matter what you want to incorporate into your wedding Mass, it’s important to make sure that your wedding “reflects the Lord’s blessing on your love”, in the words of Pope Francis. Ultimately your wedding day is about the willing renunciation of your own will and the salvation of your soul and your spouse’s. Don’t let the little things stress you and let go of the frustrations with certain church specific restrictions. It’s all preparing you for the long, beautiful cross of marriage!

Looking for a Catholic wedding photographer? I photograph weddings all over the United States. Check out my website, my offerings, and more by clicking here!

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Q: What is the origin of the custom of the bride depositing flowers on Mary's altar?

A: The custom of depositing flowers (the bride's bouquet) on Mary's altar (sometimes limited to depositing on the main altar) goes back to the seventeenth and eighteenth century and is known throughout Europe, though more so in Latin countries. The custom became popular during the nineteenth c. especially with the generalized custom to have side altars dedicated to Joseph and Mary. The gesture has the significance of a rite of passage. The bride soon to become spouse offers her virginity (bouquet of flowers) to Mary in order to obtain her intercession for a fruitful spousal love. It is a gesture which honors Mary as virgin and mother, and expresses binding with her a time of a new stage in life. Thus, Mary becomes a witness of this important passage, and its guardian.

All About Mary includes a variety of content, much of which reflects the expertise, interpretations and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily of the Marian Library or the University of Dayton. Please share feedback or suggestions with [email protected] .

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• May 20, 2023

"Ave Maria" for my Catholic wedding

Updated: May 27, 2023

What does Ave Maria mean? Where did it come from? Why is it so popular? How did it come to be associated with Catholic weddings?

In this article...

What makes a Catholic wedding unique

Meaning of Ave Maria (the prayer), and the wedding connection

The Rosary, or Lazo

Ave Maria (the song) and different musical settings

When to include an Ave Maria at a wedding

Giving flowers to Mary

Practical pointers and ideas for weddings

Footnotes for the historically minded reader

Kate Walters Photography // Jenni and Chris's wedding featured piano and violin in a setting made popular by Andrea Bocelli // 10.2.21 at Saint Ambrose on the Hill, Saint Louis, Missouri, USA

1. So, you're planning a Catholic wedding. Congratulations!

Catholic ceremonies are brimming with beautiful, time-honored prayers, sacred traditions, and elegant music.

The list of expectations for a Catholic wedding ceremony may at times feel overwhelming or restrictive. If you feel this way, it is good to take a deep breath, step back for a moment, and remember that all the rules flow from a single principle. When getting married in a Catholic church, you are dedicating your marriage to God, and asking him to become a part of your married life .

Now, everything set apart for God takes on a sacred (that is, holy) character, and this gets translated into all the different facets of your wedding ceremony. It's the reason the words of your vows are given to you by the Church rather than writing your own, why only certain kinds of music may be played, and why you may not include your pet in the ceremony. The rules exist to preserve your ceremony as a sacred action . So, lean into it, and allow them to transform your wedding into a holy and other-worldly experience.

No other song is included in Catholic weddings as much as the Ave Maria. (I estimate 80-90 per cent of the weddings in my career have incorporated some form of the Ave Maria.) There are lots of reasons why a couple may request it to be sung:

You have a devotion to Our Lady.

It's a cultural or family tradition.

It was grandma's favorite song.

You would like to honor your own mothers.

You heard it at another wedding and liked it.

Mom requested it, and she's paying for the ceremony.

You really like the soloist's voice.

picture by North Arrow Creative // Marian devotion at Theresa and Dom's wedding //10.17.20 at Ss. Peter and Paul, Soulard, Missouri, USA

2. Ave Maria means "Hail Mary" in Latin.

Mary was an unassuming Jewish woman who lived in Judea during the Roman occupation, and was wife to Joseph the Carpenter. Christians believe that Mary was created by God to be the mother of Jesus Christ. The name "Jesus" means " the Lord saves." Because of her "yes" to God, Jesus took on human flesh and began his mission of salvation. Through Mary, in Jesus her Son, evil has been conquered forever. Sometimes images of Mary depict this belief by illustrating her foot as crushing the head of a serpent.

"Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus..."

If you like to watch football, you’ve heard the term “Hail Mary” before. A Hail Mary pass is one that is thrown with a prayer, because the odds against completion are big. Well, the Hail Mary is a lot more than that. It is a very popular Catholic prayer - and quite an ancient one, in fact. The first half of the Hail Mary comes directly from the Bible, when an angel came to Mary to reveal that she would become the Mother of the Savior. “Hail, favored one! The Lord is with you. Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall name him Jesus.” (Lk 1:28, 31)

" ...Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen."

The second half of the Hail Mary / Ave Maria, appeared much later (around 1,000 years later!). It reveals Mary’s role as intercessor on our behalf to God. We first observe her looking after the cares and concerns of humanity at the wedding at Cana. The Bible relates that at this wedding, the wine ran out prematurely. She, recognizing the issue before the guests became aware, went to her son and begged him to help. Jesus honored her request, and that day performed his first public miracle, turning water into wine. You can you see why a devotion to Mary is so popular among newly married couples, can't you?

3. Ave Maria and the Rosary

Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue.

Michelle Ross Creative // rosary from Kara and Alex's wedding // 9.19.20 at the Old Cathedral, Saint Louis, Missouri USA

The whole Ave Maria / Hail Mary prayer is prominently featured in a Catholic devotion called the rosary . The rosary consists of 5 separate sets of 10 beads each, threaded onto a single loop of rope. Many centuries ago, the rosary would be prayed three times in a single day: one Our Father per bead, one for each of the 150 Psalms. The Hail Mary has since replaced the Our Father on these beads, although an Our Father is still prayed between each group of 10 Hail Mary's. (For a neat bit of history, see Footnote #1 at the bottom of this article.)

Mexican, Filipino, and Spanish weddings include a lovely tradition: the looping of a giant lazo (or rosary) around the couple, in a figure eight. The lazo symbolizes their unity in God. The figure eight is associated with new beginnings in the Bible. The figure eight is also the mathematical symbol for infinity, and represents the couple's everlasting commitment to each other and to their faith.

Carly Sullens Photography // Jessica and Danny's bilingual ceremony incorporated the Hispanic customs of Arraz, Bible, and Rosary // 10.12.19 at Our Lady of Guadalupe in Florissant, Missouri, USA

4. The time-honored song

"Ave Maria, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Jesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus nunc et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen."

When talking about an Ave Maria for a wedding, we're usually not referring just to the words of the prayer, but a song - or rather, one of many songs called settings . There is a Schubert setting, a Bach/Gounod setting, an Arcadelt setting, etc. You see, devotion to Mary, and the praying of the Ave Maria, is so integral to the Catholic life of faith, that just about every composer has composed their own melody to which they set the words of the prayer.

Usually, when someone refers to the Ave Maria, they are thinking of the setting composed by Franz Schubert. (This is the setting featured in the video towards the beginning of this blog post.) It has been said that if Schubert received just one penny every time his Ave Maria has been performed, he would have been a millionaire! There are actually lots of different Ave Maria settings which can be sung at a wedding, though. Here are just a few...

Solo settings:

Franz Schubert

Bach/Gounod

Camille Saint Saëns

Jehan Alain

Vladimir Vavilov (often attributed to Guilio Caccini)

Hail Mary: Gentle Woman by Carey Landry (in English)

Duet settings:

Lorenzo Perosi

Choral settings:

Handl-Gallus (often attributed to Tomas Luis de Victoria)

Sergei Rachmaninov (originally composed in Russian as Bogoroditse Devo )

Jacques Arcadelt

Philip Stopford

Franz Biebl

Mode I chant

Gregory Norbet (in English and Latin)

"When we first heard her perform the Ave Maria, I would have sworn that it was pre-recorded due to how beautifully she sang it…she took a ton of stress off of our plates with how helpful she was during the process…She is so incredibly easy to work with and was very responsive to all of my communication." ~ A.J., groom

Read more reviews here .

5. How to include an Ave Maria at your wedding:

sung as a prelude before the ceremony begins

during the seating of the mothers

giving flowers to Mary (keep reading below...)

And a couple more ways, if your ceremony will include a full Mass (with communion):

at the offertory/preparation of the altar

as a meditation after communion

6. Ave Maria while giving flowers to Mary

There is a beautiful tradition of having an Ave Maria sung while a couple presents flowers to an image of Mary at their wedding. (See footnote #2 .) This custom is especially popular among cultures and countries with a strong Catholic or Orthodox Christian influence, such as Mexico, Italy, Spain, Portugal, Brazil, Poland, Greece, Russia, Ukraine, and Lebanon. The tradition is not officially a part of the Catholic wedding rite, so it's something you should discuss with your officiant if you wish to include it.

Mary is honored as the perfect woman, wife, and mother. While at the Mary altar, the couple spends a moment in prayer, emulating Mary and asking her to watch over them as they begin their new married life. (See footnote #3 .)

Zoe Life Photography // Lauren and Mike presented flowers at the Mary altar during their wedding // 10.31.21 at Saint Peter Catholic Church in Saint Charles, Misssouri, USA

It's worth pointing out that certain Protestant denominations take issue with devotion to Mary. If you would like to offer flowers to Mary and will have practicing Protestants at your wedding, you might want to discuss the matter with your officiant. He may make a special announcement at the ceremony explaining the symbolism of what you are about to do, or suggest a description which you can print into your wedding programs.

“She was definitely one of the best vendors I worked with and made my planning process so easy. She’s organized, professional, and very knowledgeable. She went the extra mile to make sure my day was perfect. Not only is her voice impeccable, she also has connections with some of the best music professionals in the STL area…I’m not Catholic, so I didn’t even know where to start when planning the music for a Catholic ceremony. Angela made it so easy and worked with me the whole way.” ~ Mallory, bride

Visit Angela's website here .

7. Some practical pointers:

Your wedding day will fly by quickly. If you don't carve out moments for just the two of you, they simply won't happen. Spending a moment together in prayer at the Mary altar might be one of the most meaningful things you will do together on your wedding day.

Since musicians rarely attend a wedding rehearsal, ask them to tell you ahead of time the cues for which to listen when it is time to make your exit from the Mary altar. This will help keep you from feeling rushed or unsure of yourselves when the time comes. Some Ave Maria settings have an instrumental interlude between verses, or can be lengthened to include a second verse.

Make sure your photographer knows what to expect and at what parts of the ceremony, so they can optimally set up for the best shots.

The flower girl/s can be in charge of bringing Mary's flowers up the aisle in the processional. This works well in lieu of flower petals, which usually are not permitted to be strewn in the church.

Giving flowers to your mothers after presenting flowers to an image of Mary is a nice touch, and a great way to honor these important women in your lives.

A bouquet is excellent, but a single rose is also sufficient for giving flowers to Mary. If you would like to consider other flowers, you may check out the flower symbolism explained in this article .

Make sure your soloist is comfortable with the Ave Maria setting you have chosen, and has enough time to practice with your organist or pianist. Don't ever pressure a friend or family member to sing; ask how they would feel about it. There can be quite a bit of stress to get things exactly right at a wedding, with very little time to pull it all together. When in doubt, hire a professional.

You are not limited to the Ave Maria when choosing music for this part of the ceremony. Any sacred song which is dedicated to Mary can be planned (e.g. Immaculate Mary, Hail Holy Queen, and Salve Regina).

Footnote 1 : A major victory is attributed to praying the rosary back in 1571. At the time, Turkish invaders were campaigning to take over the Venetian island of Cyprus. In response, the pope urged the faithful to pray the rosary day and night for the protection of the island and its people. On October 7, the Ottoman fleet was defeated at the Battle of Lepanto. The anniversary of this victory now holds a special place on the Church calendar as the Feast of Our Lady of the Rosary. There are special promises surrounding the faithful praying of the rosary with its 50 Hail Mary’s.

Footnote 2 : The relationship of flowers and weddings has roots reaching as far back as ancient Greece, when a couple would wear garlands of leaves and flowers at their wedding. The garlands symbolized new life, hope, and fertility, and were fashioned after the garlands Olympic athletes would wear. Included were certain herbs which were thought to ward off bad luck and evil spirits. The Romans adopted these customs, and eventually they spread through all of Europe. A related custom, giving flowers away as a sign of affection, can be traced all the way back to ancient Egypt, Greece, and China.

Footnote 3 : Today, we still find older churches with side altars dedicated to Mary and to Joseph, her spouse. The Mary altar is usually placed on the left side, as we are looking towards the front of the church. An Aleteia article explains that in reverse, from Jesus' perspective as he faces the people from the front of the church, this same position is the right side. The station of the Mary altar reflects the Jewish tradition of the queen mother who sits at the right hand of her son.

Was this article helpful? What other subjects regarding Catholic wedding music do you have questions about? Please let me know what you think in the comments!

Angela Marie Rocchio is a Saint Louis-based professional soprano, specializing in Catholic weddings and funerals. She is a Best of Weddings and Hall of Fame winner with The Knot. Her website is here . She is also a co-founder of the International Chant Academy , through which she teaches online courses for cantors and soloists who offer their talents within liturgies of the Roman Catholic Church.

Photos from AMR weddings, L to R: Emily Broadbent Photography 7.10.21 // Emily Broadbent Photography 10.22.22 //

Brittany Kastner Photography 10.16.21

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Greeting the guests

It is no accident that the Church refers to the wedding liturgy as a celebration . Although it is not traditional, some couples choose to greet guests at the church entrance prior to the wedding—much as good hosts greet guests at the entrance to their home before a party. This can set a warm, festive atmosphere for the ceremony, dispels some of the pre-ceremony nervousness, and eliminates the need for a receiving line after the ceremony. (This does presume the couple is prepared for the ceremony at least half an hour in advance.) The parents of the bride and groom can also help to greet the guests. Members of the wedding party can then provide guests with programs and guide them to their seats.

Although it is customary in the United States to seat wedding guests on the "bride's side" or the "groom's side," in certain situations it might make sense to dispense with this tradition, particularly if one of you will have many more invited guests than the other, or if one of you has many more Catholic guests than the other. (It can be a little awkward if one side of the church is obviously more familiar with the rhythm of the Catholic liturgy than the other.)

Greeting the assembly

The assembly may be greeted by someone involved in the wedding liturgy—a reader, cantor, or even the presider. ( The Order of Celebrating Matrimony provides for the presider to greet the assembly more formally during the liturgy itself.) The greeting should make the assembly feel comfortable and at home, preparing your guests to fully participate in the liturgy. It might include:

• • practical information (the location of bathrooms and water fountains, for instance, or reception arrangements);
• • a brief overview of what will happen during the liturgy, including some of the key responses (especially useful if many are not Catholic);
• • an opportunity for the assembly to briefly practice singing key pieces of music, led by the cantor or music minister;
• • a gentle reminder to turn off cell phones and silence all digital devices;
• • a request to not take pictures during the ceremony to avoid that sort of distraction (check with parish about local guidelines).

The wedding procession

The Order for Celebrating Matrimony offers two forms for beginning the liturgy with a procession. In the First Form (#45-47) the priest and servers in vestiments proper to the liturgy greet the bridal party at the door of the Church then all enter in procession as is customary for a Mass (the ministers go first, followed by the priest, then the bride and bridegroom, possibly proceeded by their parents and the two witnesses). In the Second Form (#48-50) the priest and servers go to the place in the sanctuary prepared for the couple or to his chair, ready to greet the couple when they arrive at their place. In both forms, the priest leads the assembly in the sign of the cross after the entrance song is finished.

Sound unfamiliar? That's because in the United States and elsewhere it is common for the bride to be escorted down the aisle by her father, who then "gives" her to the groom waiting at the altar—a tradition rooted in the days when weddings were viewed as a sort of property transaction (with the woman being the property). The "traditional" wedding procession with the giving away of the bride is so widely practiced that it likely you can do this it if that is your preference. However, the forms suggested by The Order of Celebrating Matrimony better symbolize the Church's understanding of the complementary role of the husband and wife in marriage.

Another option is to skip the procession altogether; the bride and groom can join the priest and servers in the sacristy before the liturgy begins than go their places near altar from there.

If you opt for a procession, however, the assembly should stand at the beginning of the liturgy, when the entrance song is announced and the procession begins—in other words, the assembly should not remain seated until the bride enters the church. In the Catholic liturgy, standing is a way of acknowledging the presence of God.

For additional information about the procession, including appropriate music, see:

• The Catholic wedding procession

The Universal Prayer

The Universal Prayer,also known as the general intercessions or prayer of the faithful, follow immediately after the blessing and exchange of rings. The presider or a lector reads each prayer ("For... ; we pray to the Lord...") and the assembly responds ("Lord, hear our prayer" or another appropriate response). The general intercessions used during the Sunday Mass are usually written by someone at the parish. Most parishes, however, will allow (and even encourage) couples to write the intercessions for their wedding. According to the General Instruction of the Roman Missal (#70), the series of intentions is to be:

• For the needs of the Church
• For public authorities and the salvation of the whole world
• For those burdened by any kind of difficulty
• For the local community

However, the General Instruction also provides for the intentions to "reflect more closely the particular occasion" during the Celebration of Matrimony.

You can include a prayer for yourselves, for instance, as well as for deceased relatives and other important people in your life. However, these prayers are also the prayer of the whole Church, and as such, they should also reflect some broader concerns. It would be appropriate, for instance, to pray for all married couples; for families; for the sick and the lonely; for Church and world leaders; and for peace and justice. Your parish can assist you in composing appropriate prayers.

Prayers and blessings

The Order for Celebrating Matrimony provides options for certain prayers and blessings. For example, it provides three forms for the Blessing of Rings (said after the exchange of vows); three forms for the Nuptial Blessing (said after the Lord's Prayer in a wedding within Mass or after the general intercessions in a wedding without Mass), and three forms for the final blessing of the couple . Generally, the presider chooses which forms of these prayers to use. However, if you would like to review the different options, see Outline of a Catholic Wedding within Mass .

The Order for Celebrating Matrimony also provides options for the blessing and exchange of arras (coins) and the blessing and placing of the lazo (veil).

You can discuss your preferences with the priest or deacon who presides at your wedding.

Symbolic Gestures of Unity

Some local customs include a symbolic gesture by the couple during the wedding ceremony like lighting a unity candle to signify that "two have become one".

The Order of Celebrating Matrimony provides an optional blessing and placing of the lazo or veil to symbolize the bond of unity between the couple if it this is a local custom (#71B). Before the Nuptual blessing the couple kneels and the presider blesses the lazo (wedding garland or veil) which is held by two family members or friends. The lazo is then placed over the shoulders of the couple.

The Order also provides an optional blessing and giving of arras (coins) immediately following the exchange of rings as a sign of God's blessing and the good gifts the couple will share (#67B).

Some Catholic parishes prohibit the use of a unity candle or other symbolic gestures which have no provision for them in the offical Order for the wedding litrugy. Also, within Catholic liturgies, candles primarily refer to the light of Christ and baptism; the Easter candle, lit at the Easter vigil, is the central candle in the sanctuary. If you would like to have a unity candle, ask your parish what it is permitted. The unity candle must not be placed on the altar. If you want a unity candle but your parish does not permit one, consider using one at the reception; its lighting can be incorporated into the blessing before the meal: Before or at the beginning of the meal, a representative from each family lights two taper candles. During the blessing the food, the bride and groom use the two taper candles to light a large pillar candle (the "unity candle") together.

Prayer before the Virgin Mary

In some places it is customary for the bride (or the bride and groom together) to place a bouquet of flowers before a statue or shrine to the Virgin Mary (assuming one is present in the Church); usually the couple then spend a few moments in silent prayer before the shrine. Music is frequently played at the same time.

This tradition recognizes the special role that Mary has as the mother not only of God, but of the Church and all the faithful (see Catechism of the Catholic Church 963-965 ). It is natural, then, to request that Mary pray for you as you begin your own family.

The practice of venerating the Virgin Mary is not outlined in The Order of Celebrating Matrimony . If you wish to include it in your wedding ceremony, ask your parish wedding coordinator about the local custom.

Creating a wedding program for your guests

For more information

Other websites.

General Instruction of the Roman Missal This document contains the liturgical norms for celebrating the Mass. As with other official Church documents, it is written primarily for Church leaders; however, couples may find it useful for exploring the Church's guidancefor certain elements of the liturgy, as well as the meaning, theology, and spirituality of the Mass.

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Brides, bouquets and the Blessed Mother

By Karen Early For Today’s Catholic

From time to time it is worthwhile to revisit traditions. Sometimes, traditions merit being discarded. Other times, by remembering the past, there is a renewal of appreciation of traditions. One such tradition is laying flowers at the shrine of Mary.

Flowers used in ritual traditions stem from the ancient Greeks. Instead of floral bouquets, the recipient would receive a garland. Olympic athletes would wear a wreath of olive branches. So too, the bride and groom would wear garlands fashioned from flowers and plants wreathed together which symbolized new life, hope and fertility. As Hellenization spread, the practice of flowers at weddings was adopted by the Romans and through them Europe adopted the custom. Flowers and weddings have a very ancient bond. Crowning of sacred images is also an ancient practice. In the Eastern Churches it became common practice to adorn icons with crowns, which had been blessed prior to affixing. As Mary is Queen Mother of the Lord, she was adorned with a crown as well. Throughout the history of sacred art one sees both the Lord and the Blessed Mother adorned with crowns highlighting their royal prerogatives.

The combination of crowning with flowers and our Lady naturally followed from both sources: those of ancient European roots and a deepening understanding of Mary’s role in salvation history. “May Crownings” are still part of some locale’s customs of honoring our Lady during the month of May. The connection of flowers and Mary in weddings is now clear to see. Flowers, a symbol of beauty, life, and hope are tied to our Lady, who also brings us beauty, life, and hope in her Son.

As the bride embarks on her new life as wife and mother, it seemed fitting to have a brief moment of prayer to our Lady along with a gift of flowers. This optional token gesture was always done outside of the liturgy. Either before the entrance processional or as the couple is exiting the sanctuary. The placement of this tradition is instructive. It is not to intrude on the sacred liturgy but rather shows a deferential reminder to its relegated status.

It should be noted that there exist some couples with a disoriented notion of this ritual. This is an appropriate time of catechesis on the relation of Mary to Christ and her subsidiary role in salvation. Rare will be the moment for such a prescient dialogue in the future for most Catholic couples. The relationship with the priest and proximity to a ceremony that is dear to their hearts makes the moment particularly relevant.

Our current pontiff Pope Francis has a heart-felt tenderness to our Lady. In every church Pope Francis visits, he pays a tribute to the Blessed Virgin Mary. Alicia von Stamwitz in conjunction with Pope Francis recently wrote a book explaining his affection and encouraging the laity in their hope Mother Mary: Inspiring Words from Pope Francis. Our current pope sees our Lady and flowers as belonging together within a sacred atmosphere.

A recent conversation with a new convert and young bride brought these points into relief. The bride explained how the priest that married them asked, “why or how do you understand this” while preparing her and her husband for marriage. He took his role as catechist very seriously. Part of the conversation revolved around the gesture of placing flowers at the statue of Mary. The bride explained, that she picked various flowers representative of those women in her life that had exhibited characteristics of Mary. Her gratitude for the maternal love those women showed to her, was expressed in her love of Mary and the Catholic Church. This bride and her bouquet given to the Blessed Mother was a Tridium of beauty. Brides, bouquets and the Blessed Mother is a tradition worth reflecting on from time to time so as to appreciate its heritage appropriately.

Karen Early has been married for 36 years, is a mother of seven, grandmother of seven, is a master of theology candidate with the Augustine Institute, and is a parishioner of St. Peter, Prince of the Apostles Church.

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Hi everyone

Just a random question. I knew about the presentation of flowers for the Virgin Mary but has anyone heard of a presentation of a fruit basket? My priest told me we needed a basket of fresh fruits as an offering. It's suppose to symbolize prosperity or something like that. Anybody heard of this?

Also he said the lassles are old fashion and people now do unity candles. Any thoughts on this.

Much appreciated, thanks =)

15 Comments

I've never heard of a fruit basket, and I thought Unity Candles were not allowed anymore? That's interesting. ETA - We are doing the dedication to Mary.

Never seen or heard of fruit baskets, presentation of flowers to the Virgin Mary or lassles at a catholic wedding. Unity candles yes, they have been done at every catholic wedding I have been too.

I've never even heard of the flower presentation honestly. Especially not a fruit basket. And my priest actually suggested we do a unity candle. Maybe it's a regional thing

I've never heard of a fruit basket , but unity candles aren't an assumption (no pun intended) for a Catholic ceremony. Many churches won't allow them.

As a recovering Catholic, with a dozen years at parochial school under my belt, I can honestly say I've never heard of this, nor have I seen it done in any catholic ceremony I've attended. Can't offer any insight, but am definitely intrigued.

Celia wins the internet today for that pun

Can't say I've seen the fruit basket, but I have seen a gift for the poor brought to the altar with the communion gifts. The gift doesn't have to be monetary. The most touching one I saw was a basket of items for the local no kill pet shelter where the groom had adopted his dog.

Thanks for the insights everyone.

I'm leaving a flower bouquet for the Virgin Mary... I have not heard or seen a fruit basket being left but it makes sense... also, I have experienced the opposite regarding the candles.. all the churches I inquired with said that was not allowed in a catholic mass...

Maybe the priest loves to eat fruit ...

My college roommate brought flowers up to the Virgin as part of her ceremony and she's not Hispanic. I sang Ave Maria as she carried them over. It was really nice.

Also doing a catholic wedding, and I've never heard of the fruit basket at church. Our priest told us the unity candle was optional , as was the wedding lasso. Basically since there is a huge Hispanic community in his church, he's respectful of the traditions but leaves it up to us whether we want to do them or not. Not really required.

We did a presentation of flowers to Mary but never heard of the fruit basket. There was a floral arrangement under the alter and we presented the flowers right before the end to ave Maria. The current catholic marriage book, together for life, says no unity candles for the sacrament of marriage, even if you have it outside of mass like we did. Good luck navigating the catholic stuff... I learned a lot of random but also some useful stuff!

We did the flowers to Mary and our church didn't prohibit the unity candle, but we chose not to do it. We had an option to present a basket of non-perishable food during the offertory to donate to a local food pantry, but I've never heard of the fruit basket thing.

Never heard of a fruit basket. Offerings flowers to Our Lady is common regardless of culture, we offered her a bouquet while the Ave Maria was being sung. I don't think you have to have a fruit basket - it sound like it is optional (like the flowers to Mary).

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Quick Guide to Planning a Catholic Wedding Program

Couples commonly integrate their faith and cultural traditions into their wedding day. Doing so creates a solid foundation for beginning a new chapter in their lives. Catholic wedding celebrations, for example, often consist of a mass followed with a reception. Wedding guests who don’t share the same religion may not know how nuptial masses are conducted. Furthermore, Catholic weddings do not necessarily follow a “standard” program, so each offers its own nuances. Without careful planning, some guests might end up confused or not realize the solemnity of the event. As such, we recommend crafting a Catholic wedding program to help guide your visitors. Here’s a quick rundown of how you can do that!

Plan Your Wedding

Inform guests about call-and-response interactions, explain your chosen readings, give meaning to the rite of marriage, help guests experience the liturgy of the eucharist, pay homage to the virgin mother of god, design and print your catholic wedding program.

Weddings, in general, require a lot of planning. Before you know what to include in the program in order to inform your guests, you’ll need to plan. Here’s a basic list of things to consider when planning your wedding.

• The order of service
• Featured musical selections (if you intend to include music)
• Other traditions

Most couples consult with their parish for assistance with planning. It’s especially important to do this with Catholic weddings because ceremonies will vary based on whether both people getting married are Catholic or of mixed religions, baptized or unbaptized, whether they want to include mass, and so on. It can help to find templates online as a starting point to help get an idea of which traditions or services to include in your Catholic wedding.

Catholic weddings, like mass itself, call on those in attendance to participate, literally. The call-and-response nature of many Catholic weddings can confuse guests if they don’t know what to expect. Normally, the priest reminds everyone of when to stand, when to take a seat, or what the responses will be. However, he might occasionally forget that there are people who need guidance to carry on with the celebration. Your Catholic wedding program can play a vital role here.

For example, before the priest comes in, everyone typically stands and keeps standing until the bride comes in for the mass to start. In the program, take note of the specific portions of the mass such as the first reading, where everyone must stand again and respond before sitting.

When the priest preaches your chosen readings, not all of your guests may understand the context behind the Word and why it is important for you as a couple. If possible, include the Word of your chosen readings on your program and share why it matters to your union.

Catholic weddings often integrate various rites and symbols into the celebration for the purpose of paying homage. For example, couples commonly say vows, hold a crucifix, exchange arras, and incorporate important readings into the ceremony. Interestingly, Use your Catholic wedding program to keep your guests informed. In the program, you can list and give meaning to each rite or symbol and share the significance of each to the union.

Catholic couples primarily choose to celebrate their union within the context of the mass to experience the holiness of the liturgy of the Eucharist. People often assume that mass serves as merely a ritualistic or a symbolic tradition. Fortunately, you can let your guests partake and experience the Eucharist, which will give your guests the holy presence. Use your Catholic wedding program to ensure your guests understand the Eucharist and know who can receive it.

Integrating a moment of honor for Mary is a common tradition for Catholic weddings. By honoring Mary, the mother of Jesus, Catholic couples thank her for her role in making worldly salvation possible. To do this during a Catholic wedding, the couple brings a bouquet of flowers to Mother Mary and sings a prayer.

Guests will need to hold the Catholic wedding program in their hands, which means you must design and print it. Or, depending on your budget, you might hire someone to do this for you. As mentioned earlier, you can find templates online to help get you started.

We hope that this quick guide helps you with crafting a Catholic wedding program that allows everyone to take part and understand your faith as a couple. Please let us know your thoughts in the comments below!

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Wedding Floral Traditions Every Couple Should Know About

• Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
• Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.

There are countless wedding traditions that couples and their loved ones practice around the world. So it's no surprise that the blossoms you select for your wedding day are also often rooted in rich cultural and historical floral traditions. If you want to learn more about the significance of flowers in other cultures or incorporate wedding flower traditions into your wedding (your florist can help, too!), we've got the perfect list for you. From Ancient Greece to modern-day Mexico, we've rounded up 14 flower-related customs you might not have heard of, plus the history behind the most common floral rituals.

The History of Common Wedding Flower Traditions

Flowers aren't just added to a couple's wedding day because they're nice to look at. Many blooms have meaning behind them which results in numerous customs being formed. Here are the stories behind these common wedding flower traditions.

The Bride's Bouquet

The bridal bouquet is a collection of flowers the bride holds as she walks down the aisle, but why do brides carry flowers? Tony Crespo, owner of FMI Farms , explains. "The origin of the wedding bouquet started with the Ancient Greeks and Romans. The bouquets had fragrant herbs to ward off bad luck during ceremonies." During this time, the bouquets were floral garlands worn by the bride and groom, which symbolized fertility and fidelity. Some herbs used were rosemary to represent loyalty and protection, dill as an aphrodisiac and ivy to represent a strong and unbreakable bond.

The kind of wedding bouquets we see today originated during the Victorian age. At that time, brides chose their florals based on their symbolism. Now, many couples choose their flowers because of their visual appeal and symbolism.

Throwing the Bouquet

The bouquet toss has a unique history that started in England. "The common superstition was that a piece of the bridal bouquet or even the bride's dress would bring good luck and fortune. A mob mentality created a dangerous situation for the bride. The toss developed over time to give an escape route for the bride. She would toss in one direction and run out the opposite way," Crespo says. Now, newlyweds do the bouquet toss for fun during the reception, with the lighthearted superstition that whoever catches the bouquet will be the next person to get married.

The Flower Girl

Typically, the flower girl is a wedding party role given to young girls. The small attendant throws flower petals while processing down the aisle before the bride. Historians believe this role comes from the Ancient Romans and Greeks. The flower girls threw grains and herbs to represent fertility or carried garlic garlands to ward off evil spirits. During the Victorian era, flower girls wore white dresses, sometimes a replica of the bride's gown, and carried flower baskets or hoops, which symbolized infinite love.

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Wedding party corsages and boutonnieres.

Corsages are another floral tradition that dates back to the Ancient Greeks. They believed the flower's fragrance helped ward off bad spirits, so couples pinned flowers to themselves for protection. Corsage comes from the French term "bouquet de corsage," which means "bouquet of the bodice." The corsage's placement used to be high on the shoulder, so the suitor didn't pin the flowers to an inappropriate area (a women's chest). Eventually, with the popularity of strapless or spaghetti-strap dresses, corsages moved to women's wrists.

The boutonnière comes from when the Egyptians and Aztecs wore blooms to show their support for different sports teams. Another inspiration for the boutonnière is the War of the Roses, when the Lancaster and York families wore red and white roses, respectively, on their armor. The way men wear boutonnières today didn't start until the 19th century when suits had lapels with buttonholes.

Wedding Floral Traditions From Different Countries

There are numerous unique wedding floral traditions around the world. Check out these global flower customs and consider using them in your wedding.

At Chinese weddings , the lotus flower is the most significant botanical. A blooming lotus symbolizes purity, honor and longevity, which every Chinese couple wants in their marriage. You may often see two blooming lotuses next to each other at a Chinese nuptial since two lotuses represent harmony.

In England, some guests give the bride and groom a rose bush to plant. It is thought that the growth symbolizes the growth of a marriage, the blossoms symbolize happiness, and the thorns symbolize the trials of married life.

French weddings usually don't have wedding parties with bridesmaids and groomsmen. Instead, they have témoins (or witnesses) whose purpose is to be present to sign the wedding registry, stating the couple was married. But even though there's no wedding party, to-be-weds typically always have a flower girl , who showers the aisle with flowers as the bride enters the ceremony.

Stefana, also known as Greek wedding crowns, are two crowns joined by a ribbon for unity. In Ancient Greece, the crowns were made of lemon blooms, olive branches and vines, but today they are typically made of silver or gold with floral designs. The Stefana is blessed by a priest and placed on the couple's heads indicating they are the king and queen of their home. Finally, crowns are switched back and forth three times by the couple's honor attendants to "seal" the union.

At Italian weddings , Italian newlyweds add flowers to the front grill of their wedding getaway car instead of tying old cans to the back. The flowers on the front manifest the couple driving down a path (or road) of a good and happy marriage.

The Varmala ceremony, also known as Jaimala, is at the beginning of Hindu weddings when the to-be-weds see each other for the first time before the wedding ceremony. A mala, which means garland in Hindi, is a lush and colorful flower garland exchanged between the couple as a physical acceptance of the marriage. The flowers represent beauty and happiness and sometimes are integrated with money as a wish of good luck.

Traditionally for Irish weddings , female wedding guests are tasked with picking wildflowers to place in the bride's hair before the wedding ceremony. This floral tradition replaced the veil and existed so the guests could show their love and support for the to-be-wed.

"In Mexican weddings , the bride can carry up to two bouquets. One bouquet for herself and one for the Virgin Mary," Crespo says. The presentation of the bouquet is an important custom in Catholic-Mexican weddings. This wedding floral tradition is done after the ceremony so the bride can pray and ask the Virgin Mary for her blessing over her union.

In Scotland, people believe hiding a sprig of white heather or thistle in the bride's bouquet would give the couple lots of luck and happiness. The Scottish thistle is Scotland's national flower and stands for loyalty and bravery.

Sicily has two wedding flower traditions. The first is the use of orange flowers in bridal bouquets to wish the couple luck in fertility. Another custom is that the bride's parents give their daughter a bouquet, which she takes pictures with before the ceremony. Once at the wedding venue, the bride gives the bouquet to the groom's mother to show her appreciation. Finally, the groom gives the bride a new bouquet, which she carries while walking down the aisle.

Instead of a veil, lots of Swedish brides wear a flower crown, sometimes adorned with myrtle leaves. This floral tradition symbolizes youth and innocence and is practiced in many Nordic cultures.

At Thai wedding ceremonies, the mothers of the bride and groom walk to the altar to drape phuang malai around the couple's shoulders. These flower garlands are used for numerous reasons in Thailand, but for Thai weddings, they are used to wish the happy couple good fortune in their life together.

Brides wear wedding wreaths, which are intricate traditional Ukrainian flower crowns worn to protect the bride from evil. Myrtle leaves, flowers, sage, garlic, honey, mint leaves and much more are laced into the wreaths for ultimate protection. Traditionally, the wedding wreaths were made by female loved ones of the bride the evening before the wedding. Attached to the wreath are colorful ribbons, there are 12 different colors to choose from––each with its own meaning, acting as charms against evil.

United States

The last flower garland on this floral traditions list is the lei. The lei is incorporated into many Hawaiian wedding traditions to symbolize love and the aloha spirit. During the wedding ceremony, the couple exchanges leis made of pikake flowers and green maile leaves (for the groom) to showcase the couple intertwining their lives. Couples might also give their mothers and their guests leis depending on the size of the wedding.

Preparing a Mary Garden: Exploring the lore of flowers and herbs

In May each year, the Catholic Church celebrates the Blessed Virgin Mary. In her Immaculate Conception, she recognized that her delivery from sin came about not by her own merits, but by none other than “God my Savior” (Luke 1:46). This direct historical event set into motion God’s plan for humanity’s redemption. This humble and sanctified woman would then permit God to take human form within her womb (see Luke 1:38).

Regarding Mary, early Church Fathers were struck by verse 4:12 in The Song of Songs: "A garden enclosed is my sister, my spouse; a garden enclosed, a fountain sealed up," as foreshadowing her pure virginity. By the Middle Ages, pious tales had been spun, often as bedtime stories as many of them still read, connecting herbs, spices and flowers to events in the Gospels.

Minstrels and troubadours exalted the birth of Jesus with songs based on these tales, composed to show how the Incarnation embraced Creation. Reflecting on Jesus as the fruit of Mary’s virginal womb , a number of flowers, herbs and spices became known as “Cradle Herbs and Flowers” and planted in a small front- or backyard plot of land called a “Mary Garden” to be cultivated as flavor enhancing condiments and as medicines for ailments.

Follow along as Your Humble Scribe cites Catholic history, legend and lore about various shrubs and flowers, herbs and spices that became associated with the purity and sanctity of the ever-gracious Virgin Mother and her Divine Son.

Annunciation

The English historian, St. Bede the Venerable (673-735), is one of the earliest writers to see in the Madonna Lily as symbolizing the Virgin’s pure body while the golden anthers of the interior indicate the radiance of her soul. The blue of Baby’s Breath (“Mary’s Veil”) also represents Mary’s purity as well as the overshadowing power of the Holy Spirit, the “Breath of God.”

The Virgin is invoked as the Rosa Mystica — the “Mystical Rose,” in the Litany of Loreto, a title explained in the “Paradiso” of Dante’s Divine Comedy . In heaven, the poet’s guide, his beloved Beatrice, bids him contemplate the Holy Virgin as "the Rose in which the Divine Word became flesh."

Long considered the queen of all flowers, the rose is closely associated to Mary as Queen of Heaven. Roses are prominent in her appearances on earth. The Virgin herself arranged roses in the tilma of St. Juan Diego to cover her portrait. She wore roses on her slippers at La Salette and on her bare feet at Lourdes. The Church’s most beloved meditation is Mary’s Chaplet of the Roses — the Rosary.

The deep blue Monkshood , originally called “Our Lady’s Slipper,” symbolizes Mary’s visit to Elizabeth in the hill country near Jerusalem. As does the Thistle-Down when it gracefully wafts along the air currents. Legend says that each of Mary’s footfalls produced flowers.

In Bethlehem, Joseph gathered masses of grasses from the fields surrounding the stable to provide his wife a fragrant, comfortable bed. And so, amid the Wild Thyme, symbolizing strength, and Sweet Woodruff , representing humility, the Lady Mary gave birth to Jesus, the incarnate God.

After the Child’s birth, He was laid upon the white flowers of Laurel, which burst open to reveal a brilliant gold within. Mary then lined the manger with what is now known as Our Lady’s Bedstraw , a fragrant herb when dried, its scent similar to vanilla. The tops also yield a yellow dye used in coloring butter and cheese, especially English Cheshire cheese.

The sweet-smelling Sainfoin ( a legume eaten by both sheep and cattle) bloomed to form a decorative halo of pink flowers to wreathe the Christ Child's head. Outside, where the brilliance of the great Star overhead struck the ground, the light burst into vast multitudes of tiny bright yellow flowers now called Stars of Bethlehem .

Presentation/Purification

Following Mosaic law, the Holy Family presented Mary’s firstborn Son to the Lord, and celebrated her purification after childbirth at the Temple in Jerusalem. The prophet Simeon, having joyfully beheld the Infant Savior, warned Mary of an overwhelming sadness: “And your own soul a sword shall pierce so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed” (Luke 2:35).

The Holy Mother’s intense grief as she stood at the foot of her Son’s cross won her the right to intercede for His followers. The blade-like petals and deep purple hue of the Flag Iris betoken both the blade and the misery, so it is also called “Mary’s Sword of Sorrow.”

Flight into Egypt

Nearing the Negev Desert, Joseph paused to search for water. Soon Mary heard the hard galloping and distant shouts of Herod’s soldiers. She appealed to nearby Rose and Clove bushes for refuge. The Rose feared being trampled; the conceited Clove refused.

The one bush remaining, the lowly Sage , was little more than a weed. Yet, honored by Mary’s urgent request, the Sage immediately shot forth deep blue blossoms and gray-green leaves in abundance, forming a generous canopy to shelter the young Mother and her Son to conceal them from the onrushing soldiers. The Sage is thus called “Mary's Shawl.”

The danger past, Mary gladly pressed a bower to her lips, giving it a grateful kiss. Sage has ever since had a pleasant, tangy fragrance. Its leaves and blossoms became a delicious seasoning for vegetables and meats alike. Leaves and blossoms of Sage are also used as a balm for aches or burns, and gargling with powdered sage in water relieves sore throats.

At their next rest stop, the Blessed Virgin washed her little Son’s clothing in a stream, hanging them on a Lavender bush to dry. Only then did the Lavender gain its clean aroma. Lavender was an expensive ingredient in this balm we know as “nard” or “spikenard,” which Mary of Bethany poured over Jesus’ head (see John 12:3).

Again, still making their getaway from Bethlehem, the Holy Family, weary with travel, found repose in a shady grove. Mary spread her blue cloak on a lavish sweep of white flowers where they napped. Upon awakening, grateful for the soft bed and exquisite aroma, Mary blessed the herb. Taking up her blue cloak, the white flowers turned the same shade of blue and became “the Rose of Mary.”

The Rosemary was thus endowed with antibacterial properties. It can be soaked in water for a refreshing wash; its flavorful blossoms can be sprinkled into salads and used to flavor meat, especially roast beef during Christmastide. In medieval homes, Rosemary was spread on floors at Christmas so its pleasant fragrance filled the house as guests trod upon it.

In yet another incident on the ever-eventful road to Egypt, the Holy Family stopped yet again. While Joseph was off searching for food, a band of thieves came upon Mary and Jesus. They demanded her leather pouch, which contained all the gold presented by the Magi. As the purses-strings were loosed, golden flower petals fell out — Mary’s Gold.

The Marigold blooms continuously, its flowers often appearing on the first days of each month. Medicinally, Tincture of Marigold is used topically to treat acne, control bleeding, reduce inflammation, and sooth irritated tissue. Taken internally, Marigold can relieve abdominal cramps.

The British are particularly fond of Marigold in their cookery. Petals, both fresh and dried, have been used to color butter and cheese while also flavoring many types of soups and drinks. And it makes an especially delicious tea. Talk about cooking organic!

Wedding feast at Cana

As a concerned guest, the Lady Mary informs her Son that the wine at a wedding party has given out. Bringing the situation to His attention, she asks for nothing. When, however, she tells the servants, “Do whatever He tells you,” it reflects, again, the depths of her faith.

`The six-petaled scarlet Anemone and the white variety traced in red bring to mind the six large stone jars Jesus asked be filled with water, which immediately fermented itself into wine. As the poet Crashaw described the incident, “The conscious water beheld its Creator and blushed.”

Sean M. Wright, MA, award-winning journalist, Emmy nominee, and Master Catechist for the Archdiocese of Los Angeles, is a parishioner at Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Santa Clarita. CA. He answers comments at [email protected] .

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5 Flowers connected to the Virgin Mary

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Flowers have always been associated with the Blessed Virgin Mary. There is even an early tradition that states when the apostles went to open Mary’s tomb, they found it filled with the most fragrant flowers, confirming that Jesus took her up to heaven after she died.

In particular, there are five flowers that are closely connected to the Virgin Mary and are often used in art to symbolize different spiritual truths about Our Lady.

The lily symbolizes purity, innocence and virginity. The Archangel Gabriel is often depicted in scenes of the Annunciation giving Mary a lily. Additionally, there is a white day lily that only blooms around the time of the Assumption in mid-August and is known as the “Assumption Lily” (though it is actually a variation of a hosta).

The rose is sometimes used to represent heavenly joy when worn as a crown by saints, while its thorns often point to Original Sin. The Blessed Virgin Mary is called the “rose without thorns.” Mary has also been given the title of “Mystical Rose.” The Rosary is sometimes visually represented in art as a garland of roses given to Mary.

The iris is sometimes called the “sword lily,” and for this reason was used most often in connection with Our Lady of Sorrows.

The periwinkle is also named the “Virgin Flower” and its blue color connects it to Mary, who is usually depicted wearing blue.

Lady’s Slipper

Originally referred to as “Our Lady’s Slipper,” this flower has a popular legend that says they first sprang forth at the touch of Mary’s foot.

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Anna Always On Brand

Vogue editor-in-chief and Met Gala co-chair Anna Wintour is decidedly on-theme in a floor-length black jacket embroidered with a colorful spray of flowers. A vine-like diamond brooch complements the botanical look along with a queenly necklace that marks her as the reigning royalty here today.  

Wicked Witch of the Web

Former Rolling Stone cover star Emma Chamberlain goes goth, channeling the “Sleeping Beauty” theme (and evil queen?) in a lace black gown with dark makeup. The 22-year-old may be best known as a sweet and bubbly content creator, but on this night, she’s showing off a decidedly more wicked streak.

Long Live Queen Z

Zendaya strut down the Met Gala carpet in a peacock-inspired gown designed by John Galliano for Maison Margiela Artisanal. The dress features a drape and bow created from aluminum and organza, and a hand-painted veil and hat wrapped in stockings. Now that’s what we call a showpiece. 

K-Pop Royalty

It’s royal blue for K-pop royalty, as Blackpink’s Jennie makes her return to the Met Gala carpet. Just like the multi-faceted star, Jennie’s gown is a multi-dimensional masterpiece, showing off her toned legs and midriff in the front, with a sweeping train at the back. Now that’s how you shut it down.

Furiosa Fashion

Chris Hemsworth avoids both the armored aesthetic of Thor and the unkempt look of his post-apocalyptic warlord character in the upcoming Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga . He does show off a little chest, however, with an unbuttoned shirt underneath a simple tan three-piece suit. Does it scream “Garden of Time”? Not really, but he is wearing a (Chopard) watch.

Can’t Get Enough

This is her… now. Jennifer Lopez proves she still has few, if any, equals when it comes to attending events in precariously revealing clothes. This time around, it’s Tiffany jewels and a silvery custom Schiaparelli gown that leaves little to the imagination and flares outward with wings up top (while trailing a lacy train behind that a couple of tuxedoed assistants have taken great pains to carry and position for photos).

Nothing Bad About It

If this gala is all about looking unflappable in fashions that verge on the absurd, then Bad Bunny has struck the ideal entrance — wearing the first big hat of the night. That puffy medieval headgear, combined with the angular sunglasses, black blazer (apparently still bearing a tailor’s chalk marks), and red-striped pants give him the air of a musketeer (or a matador from the future).

5-Star Fashion

Stray Kids made their Met Gala debut in coordinating Tommy Hilfiger looks that were custom-designed to match this year’s theme, while staying true to Tommy’s All-American aesthetic. Always one to have fun with fashion, the K-pop group turned up in bespoke navy overcoats before doffing them to reveal their matching red, white and blue suits.

Portrait Perfect

One hopes there are no bees inside the Met: in a year when most went literal on the “garden” element of the theme, Nicki Minaj’s Marni dress is absolutely exploding with brightly colored petals. The saturated tones and roughed-in style have her looking like she just stepped out of a Matisse painting.

Slaying the Fashion Game

The Game of Thrones star is no stranger to drama and she delivers on all fronts with this maroon gown, sculpted blond hair and black sheer cape. Forget surviving the red wedding: Christie slays the red carpet.

Delivering on Dapper

There’s no beef with this outfit from Steven Yeun, who paired an embroidered three-piece suit with army-style black boots. And while other stars showed up on the carpet with a date or statement bag, Yeun’s accessory for the night was decidedly more practical: an umbrella.

Model Goes Metal

Model Ashley Graham turns heads in spiky bangs and a custom form-fitting black gown by Ludovic de Saint Sernin. Decked out with metal and Swarovski crystal and Jared jewelry , Graham shared on Instagram that the piece took 500 hours of hand work to bring to life. 

Broadway Baby (Bump)

Did Lea Michele just reveal her pregnancy – and the gender of her child – on the Met Gala carpet? The Broadway star debuted her baby bump in a powder blue dress that has us whipped up in baby fever (or just a cotton candy dream).

Risky Business

Troye Sivan is giving business meets bondage in this Prada fit, which plays off the luxury label’s classic suiting with an edgy twist. Always want to subvert fashion (and music) trends, Sivan’s appearance kicks off a busy season for the popstar, who’s slated to head out on tour with Charli XCX this summer.

A Lofty Lana Look

Lana says yes to an elaborate gauzy headpiece — a custom Alexander McQueen inspired by a similar piece from the late designer’s 2011 retrospective exhibit, “ Savage Beauty .” Instead of deer antlers, this take puts the emphasis on a pattern of thorny brambles that wind around her sand-colored gown and up through the veil.

Not a Barbie Girl

After a year of thinking pink , Barbie director Greta Gerwig opts for all-black (and trousers) on the Met Gala carpet. Gerwig broke box office records with the Barbie film and she’s breaking from tradition here with her monochromatic look, but in our opinion, it’s yes, more than kenough .

Lovin’ on Jack

Jack Harlow makes a return appearance to the Met Gala in a sharp, gray suit with contrast-color lapel. He doesn’t need no whips and chains to work in a theme either, giving a nod to the “garden” dress code with a small bouquet of flowers pin.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass

Singer Tyla may well win the award for most creative interpretation of the theme, stunning as a human hourglass in a sands-of-time-inspired custom Balmain gown that may as well be painted on. An hourglass accessory — who needs a functional purse tonight? — ensures that there’s no mistaking this sublime concept.   

Baila Conmigo

Rauw Alejandro brings reggaeton to the red carpet in another standout Ludovic de Saint Sernin look for the night. This time, the Puerto Rican star goes glam in a glittery disco ball top and cream suit that’s as suitable for the gala as it is for the after-party dance floor.

Challenge Accepted

After showing off fancy footwork on the tennis court in Challengers , Josh O’Connor joins a gala co-chaired by co-star Zendaya in what appear to be floral clogs. It’s a whimsical touch matched by his extra-long tuxedo tails for a vibe that’s rather formal above the waist and anything but below. 

X Marks the Spot

Lil Nas X is no stranger to making a statement on the red carpet but dare we say his look this year is decidedly more… demure? That’s what you get when previous Met Gala looks have included everything from a gold jumpsuit to silver body paint (and not much else). Still, there’s lots to love about this year’s fit, which features a slouchy, oversized silhouette and enough sparkles to light up the room he walks into.

Kim Kardashian is a silver siren in this Maison Margiela Artisanal by John Galliano gown, which features chain and floral accents cut from real mirror fragments. Kim paired the look with a cashmere cardigan, proving that sexy and cozy can seemingly co-exist in one garment.

The Grande Dame

The “B” in Cardi B is for big, bold and bouffant as the superstar rapper (literally) took over the carpet in this extraordinary – and exaggerated – gown. Just how big was this dress? It took a team of ten people to help carry the train and set it down just right for photographers.

Childish Gambino is giving grown-up tycoon in a Nineties-inspired Saint Laurent suit paired with a taupe brown shirt and oversized tie. The Mr. & Mrs. Smith star is clearly taking notes from his hit Prime Video series, which stars Glober as a stylish secret spy.

Spring Awakening

Easter may be over, but Ayo Edebiri brings a basket of blooms to the Met carpet in this fresh and floral dress. The springtime design perfectly captures the night’s ‘Garden of Time’ theme and proves the Emmy-winner is a force to be reckoned with both on and off-screen.

Lizzo Returns

In one of her first major public appearances since a dramatic “ I QUIT ” Instagram post in March, evidently prompted by criticism related to allegations of sexual harassment and creating a hostile workplace, Lizzo hits the red carpet in a funnel-shaped Weinsanto design that has divided some viewers. Her speckled eye makeup, meanwhile, has garnered glowing reviews. 

Stanning Sam Smith

After rocking a racecar driver tracksuit in the music video for “ Desire ,” Sam Smith makes their Met Gala debut in a custom old-world tuxedo by their partner and date for the evening, designer Christian Cowan, that features a sheer chiffon skirt overlay. The singer may have had the quip of the evening: asked by a reporter what they expect from fashion in the future, they replied, “Clothes in my size in stores.” 

Giving Us Something

It’s unlikely anyone will bring a bigger feather boa to this year’s gala than Dua Lipa. She confirms her Radical Optimism with an eye-catching mixture of layers and delicate textures from Marc Jacobs with Tiffany & Co. diamonds. It’s on the busy side, sure, but her confident poses are selling this gothic realness.

Wet and Wild

Did we really think Doja Cat was going to show up to the Met Gala in an Amazon towel ? Despite earlier photos online, the singer and rapper turned up in a Vetements dress, though she kept the fresh-out-the-shower look – the white gown mimics a wet T-shirt, while her makeup (intentionally) features mascara running down her cheeks.

It’s Mister Domingo to You

Not many men were born to wear capes but Colman Domingo is one such red-carpet superhero, sweeping into the event with a black-and-cream ensemble by Willy Chavarria that makes for a strikingly elegant silhouette. Like several other attendees, he completes the presentation with a bouquet of flowers — in this case, white calla lilies.     

Garden of Gigi

While there’s no shortage of flowers on display tonight, Gigi Hadid has taken the idea a step further with a custom white Thom Browne dress that has enough ruffles to resemble a flower in its own right. Even so, it’s festooned with more green vines and light yellow blossoms (and Chopard jewels) — she’s pulling around an entire garden. 

Russell Rules Red Carpet

Taylor Russell stuns in a gorgeous Grecian-style gown that channels her inner golden goddess. The Bones and All actress arrived on the Met Gala carpet sans rumored beau Harry Styles, only further proving that this star can shine all on her own.

There’s no looking past this outfit from Past Lives star Greta Lee, who interprets the night’s theme in a sheer, baby’s breath-inspired dress over (what we assume) is a nude bodysuit. Extra points for the severe bangs and sharp makeup too.

Expect the eccentric from Jeff Goldblum, who tends to dress like he’s headed to a fashion show no matter what he’s actually doing that day. Here it’s a relatively understated (for him) overcoat with white scarf and gloves — opera gear, basically — though with jeweled pins and shades that give him a slight edge of steampunk villain.  

Eternal Sunshine

If the Costume Institute’s new exhibition is titled “ Sleeping Beauties ,” consider Ariana Grande the fairest of them all. Ari walked, nay fluttered , down the carpet in an intricate kaleidoscope-effect dress with exaggerated wings adorning the side of her face. The singer and co-star Cynthia Erivo made their Met Gala appearance to promote the upcoming musical, Wicked , and this outfit hits all the right notes.

Dare to Be Demi

No half-measures for Demi Moore. Tonight the actress is wearing a heart-shaped creation from Harris Reed that’s bristling with arrows — the floral fabric is repurposed silk wallpaper — as well as a sumptuous Cartier necklace. Apologies to anyone else who came as a reimagined Cupid, because this will be tough to beat.  

Escola Es Guapo

It’s a breakout ensemble from the breakout comedian who stole scenes in Difficult People and Search Party and is now dazzling audiences in their unhinged Off-Broadway show Oh, Mary! Wearing all white — veiled hat, tuxedo jacket and bow tie, and a long skirt — they’ve channeled the spirit of a haunted doll, complete with a wicker lamb basket full of carnations.

Elle Enchanted

Since the Costume Institute’s spring 2024 exhibition is called “Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion,” it’s only right that Sleeping Beauty herself would be on the scene in a dress that pays homage to some of the fairy princess’ doting forest companions. Elle Fanning’s ice-like dress is custom sculpted by Balmain. 

Couple Goals

While Fanning first posed for photographers solo, she later reunited on the Met Gala carpet with boyfriend (and Rolling Stone CEO) Gus Wenner, where they shared a sweet embrace. A lovely end to fashion’s fairytale night.

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