essay about family meals

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Why eating family meals together is still important today, eating together as a family is more important than ever, because there are more competing distractions, more activity choices outside the home, and a constant bombardment of information from technology..

This article has been updated from its original text.

During the day most of us are out in the community mixing with all kinds of people. Our children are learning about the world from many sources, often without parental filters or input. Even when everyone is home, individuals do their own thing. Perhaps the only opportunity of the day to talk with each other is at the dinner table.

Children in today’s busy world need a shared, safe space to discuss ideas within the understanding company of family, and parents need a routine time to connect with kids.

The way it was

I would like to share what family dinners mean to me. When I was growing up in rural northern California, I could always count on meeting my parents and two sisters at the maple dinner table around 6:30. We all helped getting dinner ready and would sit down together. For at least half an hour we would discuss how our day had gone, talked about matters which concerned us, and made future family plans. After a busy day our evening meal was a chance to gather our little tribe around the table and reconnect with each other. This pleasant time seemed like a reward for the day’s hard work.

Dining was about “us”, rather than the “I” so many families have evolved to cater to. There wasn’t a separate menu for each person. Even the babies had whatever we adults ate, just pureed or minced. If someone didn’t like something they were given a dab, just in case this was the day it suddenly tasted good, which often happened. As kids, we were most enthusiastic about the dishes we had a part in producing.

Conversation was spontaneous and unpredictable, although negative topics were discouraged since they might impair our appetites. Discussion between bites was fun, and often interspersed with fits of giggling with my sisters, to my father’s constant chagrin.

This nightly gathering was a common scene in America in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s. People didn’t make plans around dinnertime and you were expected to be at your seat or sitting with your friend’s family at their table. Folks didn’t call during the dinner hour.

Why we don’t eat together as much today

In recent generations, Americans moved from cooking at home to eating out because they think they don’t have time to cook, says Sheryl Garrett, founder of the Garrett Planning Network. But that’s not a sound decision, she says.

“If you think about it, if you count packing the family into the car, driving to the Applebee’s, standing in line for 20 minutes, getting to your table, waiting for your food, checking out, paying the bill of 40 or 50 dollars, and then driving back home, have you saved any time at all? No, definitely not. And you’ve probably spent four times the money you would have at home.”

The variety and convenience of ‘fast food’ has certainly taken a bite out of family mealtimes. And with good reason. Food franchises have learned how to cater to our fast-paced lifestyles by delivering a wide range of food items ‘on the go’ at low cost. Today, with 19% of meals in the US being eaten in cars, we’ve come to depend on ready access to food. But while convenience foods have their place, especially for quick breakfasts and lunches for working people, they are no substitute for family dinners eaten together.

The benefits of eating family meals together

While our smart phones and devices have brought us closer to the rest of humanity, it is the family meal that brings us closer to our own clan. The fabric of family is woven by shared experiences and time spent together. Here are some things we gain when we share meals as a family:

Eating together is more efficient, less expensive and healthier

My mother planned well-balanced meals using few convenience foods because cooking from scratch was always more economical, healthful, and tasty. My dad had a garden and a few fruit trees which provided fresh produce. To supplement, in summer we would go to big farms to do the last picking of strawberries, peaches, plums, and corn. Then we would spend hours freezing or canning summer’s bounty to enjoy all winter.

In the fall my father would go deer hunting and we would have organic venison. Also there were local pasture-fed animals to source from farmers. We knew where our food came from, and it was almost always locally sourced.

When I became responsible for the care of my own children, I grew more interested in nutrition. Being a single adventurous woman in San Francisco I had explored spices, seasonings and ethnic foods, but returned to the idea that freshness was the key to flavor and nutrition. In Laurel’s Kitchen and Diet for a Small Planet , I learned why whole natural foods, minimally processed, improve our health.

Eating together teaches children food sustainability.

When our children were young, one of the common threads of table conversation was acknowledging where our food came from. Each item usually had a story, such as where bananas grew and what kind of trip they had coming to our home. By growing and raising much of our food, the children learned the basics of gardening and took more interest in meals. They might have picked the broccoli, helped make applesauce from apples they picked by climbing trees, or collected the eggs for the omelet.

Children need to learn how the cost of convenience foods goes beyond the purchase price. The environmental costs of individual portion packaging, for manufacturing and disposal, are significant. A major perpetrator of deforestation in the South is the fast food industry. With nearly 100 paper packaging mills in the US South and thousands of restaurants worldwide, major fast food retailers such as McDonald’s, Wendy’s, KFC and Taco Bell are leaders in paper consumption and subsequent waste.

Eating together builds closer relationships within the family

It goes without saying that communication is the key to understanding. Although we live as a family, each member is on a different track through life. Spending time together over meals lets us keep in touch with each other on a regular basis. To quote Joseph Califano, Jr, of Columbia University, “One of the simplest and most effective ways for parents to be engaged in their teens’ lives is by having frequent family dinners.”

Nights at the round table

When my husband Greg was a child, his family ate at a round table. The table was inherited from grandparents, and placing it in the dining room suited the shape of the room. But there was another benefit to the round table which was less apparent: because there was no “head” to the table, everyone in the family had an equal place. The ambience was very democratic – the children shared ideas with their parents as equals, and this encouraged the spontaneous and relaxed sharing of ideas.

The neighbors across the street were a fun, vibrant Italian family. But dinnertime was a strict affair, with the father sitting at the head of the large rectangular table and the mother at the opposite end. The father held court during meals, and the kids were expected to “eat up and shut up.” Although Greg spent much of his time in their house, he never stayed for dinner. He seemed to think that the table seating arrangement, which mirrored the traditional family hierarchy, stifled open communication.

It may be a stretch to think that the shape of the table and the seating order can influence communication, but we also dine at a round table in our home, and it has been the center of countless happy times spent with family and friends.

How to change the family dynamic

What if you decide your goal is to gather everyone to the table and have quality meal time together? How do you change the dynamic in your home?

Try setting a modest goal of two times a week and build from there

Eating meals together as a family does not necessarily mean the experience will be wonderful. Even within families, it takes practice to get along. Researchers at the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University found essentially that family dinner gets better with practice; the less often a family eats together, the worse the experience is likely to be, the less healthy the food and the more meager the talk.

Simplify the food preparation

Probably the main reason we favor convenience food is the perception that home-cooked meals take more time to put together. This can certainly be the case. But there are shortcuts we can use to make food preparation fast and easy. Soups and stews can be made in quantities large enough to last two or three dinners. And when cooking rice or potatoes, make enough for a few meals. Recipes can be kept simple if you cook using fresh ingredients, and meals will still taste delicious.

Turn off cell phones and texting devices

The interruption of a phone call or text message is a sure way to break the conversation and remind everyone of events beyond the dinner table. It’s bad enough that tele-marketers call during the dinner hour. At our home we unplug the phone during mealtime; it makes our time together more relaxing and conducive to conversation.

Get the family involved in shopping and food preparation

Learning to shop wisely and to prepare food are useful life skills which are becoming more important with rising food prices and economic uncertainty. Young children can be helpful in the kitchen given a little guidance. We taught our kids how to roll out their own tortillas, which was messy, but they were proud to contribute to the meal. And they would eat just about anything if it were wrapped in one of their tortillas. When shopping, we practiced thrift. I remember preparing to order in a breakfast restaurant, and one of our kids asked the waitress for “bacon on sale”, thinking that was what you call “bacon”.

It is hard to fathom that 1/3 of America’s children eat fast food every day, according to Michael Pollan’s The Omnivore’s Dilemma. Good quality food, simply prepared, should take less than 45 minutes to put on the table. With good organization and family participation, food can be prepared in advance on the weekend, with some frozen for future meals. Any recipe can be adapted to be more healthful, even just by reducing the oil or butter and substituting whole wheat for white flour.

“If it were just about food, we would squirt it into their mouths with a tube,” says Robin Fox, an anthropologist who teaches at Rutgers University in New Jersey, about the intangible benefits that family dinner bestows on us. “A meal is about civilizing children. It’s about teaching them to be a member of their culture.”

Being together daily at the table is an important chance to celebrate being a family: by staying in touch, learning about family culture, food, and practicing the social skills of dining and conversation. Family meals are for nourishment, comfort and support. And, food is better eaten with the people we love!

About the Author

Lindsay Seaman Lindsay Seaman is an avid reader and researcher who grew up in rural communities in northern California. In 2010 she retired from her school district career and is now following her passion for organic gardening while helping manage the Eartheasy homestead. She works with Greg in the “research” gardens and orchard, where she enjoys experimenting with new ideas in organic food production.

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The Benefit of Family Mealtime

• Posted April 1, 2020
• By Jill Anderson

Despite family mealtimes being hugely beneficial to kids, only about 30% of families manage to eat together regularly. Anne Fishel , executive director of the Family Dinner Project , knows it's not always easy to find that time but it also doesn't have to be so hard. Through her work, she helps families find fun, creative, and easy ways to make meals a reality. As many families adjust to stay-at-home orders from the Coronavirus, there is a silver lining in that now there is time to enjoy a family meal or two.

Jill Anderson: I am Jill Anderson. This is the Harvard EdCast. With so many families staying home right now, that means there's also more opportunities for families to eat meals together. Family therapist Anne Fishel says only about 30% of families regularly eat dinner together, despite family meal time being hugely beneficial for kids. She's the executive director of the Family Dinner Project, a nonprofit that helps families find their way back to the dinner table with fun, easy conversations and meals. Before the coronavirus outbreak, I spoke to Anne, and asked her how we wound up being a country full of families that just don't eat together very often.

 I mean the numbers certainly have gone down over the last 30 to 40 years. Although it's interesting in affluent families the numbers have gone up, and in low income families they've gone down, which I think speaks to the extra stressors of having to work extra jobs, having unpredictable schedules, not having as much access to healthy food. I think this accounts for why low income families struggle more with it.

But whether families are high income or low income, or live in the Midwest or on either coast, the obstacles to family dinner are pretty much the same all over. We hear that families are too busy, it's too much work to make dinner night after night, once they make it their kids or their partners are too picky. So what's the point? There's too much conflict at the table, families are distracted by technology, teenagers seem not to want to eat with their parents, although the research really flies in the face of that. Teenagers rank family dinner pretty high on their list of things they like to do, and 80% of teenagers say that family dinner is the time of the day they're most likely to talk to their parents.

Jill Anderson: Wow. Tell me a little bit more about what are some of the benefits of having dinner together?

Anne Fishel: Yes.

Jill Anderson: And why it's important?

Anne Fishel: Yes. I'm a family therapist, and I sort of half joke that I could be out of business if more families had regular family dinners, because so many of the things that I try to do in family therapy actually get accomplished by regular dinners. There have been more than 20 years of dozens of studies that document that family dinners are great for the body, the physical health, the brains and academic performance, and the spirit or the mental health, and in terms nutrition, cardiovascular health is better in teens, there's lower fat and sugar and salt in home cooked meals even if you don't try that hard, there's more fruit, and fiber, and vegetables, and protein in home cooked meals, and lower calories. Kids who grow up having family dinners, when they're on their own tend to eat more healthily and to have lower rates of obesity.

Then the mental health benefits are just incredible. Regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, and anxiety, and substance abuse, and eating disorders, and tobacco use, and early teenage pregnancy, and higher rates of resilience and higher self esteem.

Jill Anderson: The Family Dinner Project has worked with, I think I read 1 million families on this issue.

Anne Fishel: Yes, we've had close to 2 million unique visitors on our website.

Jill Anderson: Wow.

Anne Fishel: We have tons of free online resources of recipes that take less than 30 minutes, and games to play at the table that promote conversation and conversation starters. Then we've worked with thousands of families through our community programs. We host community dinners at schools, and afterschool programs, and military bases, and homeless shelters, and firehouses, and we bring together a lot of families, and we have a great dinner together, we cook together, we eat, we play games, we have conversation, and then the kids will go off with a team member to make dessert for everybody, and one of us will meet with the parents and we'll ask them what are they doing well when it comes to making dinner happen, and what are their obstacles? Then we'll ask the parents to brainstorm their own solutions to these common problems.

Over 10 years, we've kind of collected some of those great work arounds, those real life hacks and collected them in this new book that we wrote called Eat, Laugh, Talk, The Family Dinner Playbook . It's really kind of a celebration of the incredible innovation that families demonstrate when they try to make family dinner happen. It's organized around the main obstacles. If I could just give you an example to show you how innovative families can be.

Jill Anderson: Oh sure.

Anne Fishel: There's a father in the book, a divorced father who has his three sons every weekend, and he very much would like to have dinner with them over the weekend, and they're really not that interested, so they scarf down their dinner and off they go to their screens. One night he said to himself, if you can't beat them, join them. And he said, boys, come to the kitchen, humor me, we're going to make ratatouille over pasta. They did that, and then he had them watch the movie Ratatouille while they ate the dinner, and they would discuss how their ratatouille compared to the movie version. Then sometimes he would turn off the sound, and have them guess what the actors were saying on the screen, and sometimes he would have them be critics, stop the movie and have them critique the different scenes. He used technology to engage them around the table, and that kick-started their practice of having weekend dinners with one another, and he didn't have to show a movie each time.

Jill Anderson: Right. I mean that's not even something I had even thought about, you have so many different family structures, kids moving from maybe one home to a different home-

Jill Anderson:   - or different parents' home, and just very different situations.

Anne Fishel: Yes, you have three generational families-

Jill Anderson: Yes.

Anne Fishel: - single parents, you could have a family dinner with friends, or college kids in a dorm who regularly have dinner with one another, I think of that as a kind of family dinner.

Jill Anderson: Really runs the gamut.

Jill Anderson: It's not what you traditionally would think of as a family.

Anne Fishel: Exactly. It doesn't even have to be dinner, some families find it so much easier to have breakfast together, or weekend brunches, or even a late night snack, where you push away from work and meet in the kitchen for cheese and crackers and hot chocolate.

Jill Anderson: Yeah.

Anne Fishel: That would count too. I mean if you think of it, there's 16 opportunities for a family to eat together in a week, seven breakfasts, seven dinners, and two weekend lunches, and any of those would count towards the benefits.

Jill Anderson: Right. If you know you're going to have a day where dinner is going to be impossible on a weekend together, maybe you can try to do a breakfast or some other time.

Anne Fishel: Sure.

Jill Anderson: I imagine doing this every day would be the dream, but is there a goal?

Anne Fishel: Yeah, I think it's really up to each individual family to find their way. The research has focused on five meals a week as being kind of the tipping point for a lot of these benefits, but I'm not sure that they've carefully calibrated it, I mean some researchers have looked to see, do you get the same benefits with two meals a week? Some of the academic benefits seem to really count on five meals or more, and the goal is to have at least one good enough meal together a week. If a family can make that happen, often more will follow.

The idea that has to be five or more can become an obstacle. It can kind of a tyranny of perfection. I think we really want to get away from that in all regards. It doesn't have to be a perfect number, it doesn't have to be perfectly cooked, doesn't have to be perfect manners, the secret sauce of dinner is really not about the food at all. The secret sauce is, is it enjoyable? Do kids feel that when they speak, somebody wants to listen to what they have to say? Is there not much criticism, or anger, or conflict at the table? These are the things that I think families really should focus on.

Jill Anderson: I want to talk more about that. It's not so much the act of eating together as much as it is about that connection, and making it quality time together, which I know myself as a parent is hard to do, especially with a young child.

Anne Fishel: There are developmental challenges when the kids are young, and then again when they're teenagers, but I think when they're young you want to set kind of realistic expectations-

Jill Anderson: Right.

Anne Fishel: - and some kids, if you can get them to sit for five or 10 minutes, I think that's something you can build on as the years go on. Sometimes if parents put a little bit more thought into how they're going to engage their kids at the table, and less focus on the foods that that can make for a more enjoyable dinner.

Jill Anderson: Oh yeah.

Anne Fishel: Maybe picking a game that you want to play that will really delight a child, and help a child talk more fully about their day than just asking them what did you do in school? Or how was your day? But instead maybe everybody goes around the table and says a rose, a thorn, and a bud. Rose is something funny or positive, a thorn is something difficult or challenging, and a bud is something you hope will happen tomorrow.

Jill Anderson: That's great.

Anne Fishel: Yeah.

Jill Anderson: I'll have to try that tonight, because I definitely am a parent guilty of saying how was your day and getting nothing because my child is so young.

Anne Fishel: Yes, there are 52 weeks of recipes and games to play at the table, and conversation starters for all different ages, and I think it can be fun as a parent just to go through, and kind of pick and choose what you think might work at your table with your family.

Jill Anderson: Can we talk about the conversation with teenagers, or when they get a little bit older, I would assume, and I'm sure a lot of parents would assume, their teenagers want nothing to do with them at the dinner table, and then it turns out that's not really true.

Anne Fishel: It's not true. No, when kids are given the choice, or when they're asked in a survey, would you rather eat with your parents than by yourself in front of a screen or with your peers? 80% choose their families. It's because teens know that it's the most reliable time of the day to have time with their parents, and adolescents still need that and want that. In a funny way adolescents have the most to gain from family dinner when you think of the reduction in high risk teen behavior that comes with regular family dinner.

I think it's kind of a question of accommodating, making some changes, engaging teenagers more in choosing the menu, or maybe cooking one meal a week, or cooking a course, or finding out a country that they're interested in and picking some menus from or some dishes from that country and making that, or asking a teenager to make a playlist of favorite songs to play during dinner and talking about that, and maybe not talking about things that you know really upset your teenage kid. Maybe not talking about that D they got on their math quiz, or how messy their room is, or the missed curfew over the weekend. Maybe waiting for those conversations until everyone's eaten, and maybe having it one-on-one instead of at the dinner table.

Jill Anderson: Wait, I want to go back to something you mentioned earlier, which was there's academic benefits to eating together-

Jill Anderson: - and I don't know that people would necessarily equate eating together as having some sort of benefit academically.

Anne Fishel: Yes, these are very dramatic benefits, with young kids, preschoolers, the organic language that happens at the dinner table turns out to have 10 times as many rare or uncommon words sort of embedded in those conversations, as parents talk about being late because they hit a lot of traffic and they were so upset they wanted to tear their hair out, whatever, there are a lot of words that kids don't pick up in their picture books or on the playground, and kids who have a larger vocabulary learn to read earlier and more easily. This was a study done at the Harvard Ed school actually, a kind of a longitudinal literacy study done by Snow and Beals.

Then moving along the age continuum, kids who eat regular family dinners in elementary school and in high school get better grades, and the effect is stronger than even doing homework, or doing art, or sports.

Jill Anderson: Have you looked at all at the college student population? They're sort of transient, sometimes they move home for a month or two.

Anne Fishel: Yes. The dinner table is in some ways the the microcosm of what's going on in the family in general. It's the place where parents first feel maybe the emptiness of the empty nest, as they night after night sit at the same kitchen table and they have two empty seats where their children would be seated. I think there's something like that that happens when young adult kids come home, and maybe they weren't expected. Maybe the parents, the single parent, or two parents, they're sitting in different seats now that it's just the two of them, and they notice they have to rearrange their seating to accommodate a young adult, or maybe they've gotten in the habit of eating much later than they used to, or maybe the college student has become a vegetarian and wants to change the way the parents eat.

So you see some of these developmental frictions, or changes, or adaptations at the dinner table, and as a family therapist, it's kind of a fruitful place to work out some of the changes, who's going to accommodate, and how's that going to happen? Are you going to keep eating at nine o'clock the way you've been doing since your college kid has been away? Are you going to reach some understanding?

Jill Anderson: It's just renegotiating?

Anne Fishel: I think often college kids come back with some new ideas about food that they may want to introduce their families to, and I think one of the kind of earmarks of families who do the best, making the transition from teenage to young adulthood happens when parents really welcome the adventures and journeys that their kids take outside the family, and those journeys might be in exploring new cuisines, new ways of eating. It's sort of an opportunity I think, for parents to say, teach us, make something you've learned, or let us adapt to things that are important to you now that you've had a new experience in college.

Jill Anderson: I hear a little bit about parents, they want to get their kid to bed earlier, and both parents are not home at the same time, and so then I becomes this what time to eat issue.

Anne Fishel: Right. Yeah, it's like which ritual is going to get privileged? Is it going to be the bedtime ritual or the dinnertime ritual? Couple things come to mind, one is a family dinner doesn't have to be everybody.

Anne Fishel: Family dinner is one parent and a child, it could still be a family dinner, and then if there's another parent and he or she comes home late, then the child at least still had a family dinner. But maybe on the nights when the whole family can't eat together, there's more focus on breakfast.

Few years ago, Cheerios came to us and said, we know you have the Family Dinner Project, but how about the family breakfast project? We created games, and food, and conversation starters for breakfast, building it around a seven minute breakfast, because that's how long it is when you press your snooze alarm before it goes off again. We thought even busy families could fit in a seven minute breakfast, so they're conversation starters and games that sort of tilt towards anticipating the day rather than reflecting back on it.

Jill Anderson: I'm still a little bit taken aback by that statistic you mentioned earlier, that only 30% or 40%-

Anne Fishel: Have dinner.

Jill Anderson: - have dinner together, and while that's not the worst number you could ever hear.

Anne Fishel: And that's regular.

Anne Fishel: There more families who have it one time a week, or twice a week. It's not that the other 60% are never having family dinner.

Jill Anderson: Right, it's still surprising to hear that. What would you say if there was one thing for families to think about doing? How do you start?

Anne Fishel: I think I would start with making a commitment to having it once a week, and then I would ask a family, what would you like to work on? If you were to make one small change, where would it be? Would it be in trying a new food? Would it be having more fun at the table? Would it be finding out more what goes on in each other's days? Would it be talking about the news? Or talking about who we are as a family, and what our identity is, and what we value as a family? I would ask a family, if you were to make one small shift, small addition to family dinner, in what realm would you want to do it?

Jill Anderson: Do you find that if you approached this to big, thinking let's do this every night, it's just-

Anne Fishel: It doesn't work.

Jill Anderson: It doesn't work.

Anne Fishel: Yeah. Yeah, I think that can be overwhelming, and can make families just want to give up on it. Some families, nobody likes to cook. I remember a family like that who nobody liked to cook, but they wanted to have dinner together, and so they decided to have one dinner out a week, and I made them a conversation jar, it was a jar stuffed with whimsical, thought provoking, funny questions on little slips of paper, you can download them on our website, because they wanted to have a sustained conversation at the restaurant for 45 minutes, and so they brought the conversation jar to the restaurant. Just said, forget about cooking at home, maybe later on we'll tackle that, but for now we just want to have a good conversation with the three kids and the two parents.

Jill Anderson: That's what this is all really about.

Anne Fishel: Yeah, it really is. There's just so few opportunities each day for families to be together, and to connect, and relax, and have a good time.

Jill Anderson: And get rid of your phones.

Anne Fishel: And well, get rid of your phone, that's one option that many families take to have a technology free time of the day. Other families I know take a slightly different stance where you can bring a phone if you want to share something with the family, a photo you took, or a funny text, that's okay. Or sometimes families say, we'll just use our phones to resolve factual debates, do fish sleep? Who won the world series in 1990? That kind of thing.

Jill Anderson: I mean, it sounds like there really is no wrong way to do this-

Jill Anderson: - other than just not trying to do this at all.

Anne Fishel: Yes, it's a very flexible format, the family dinner. We're not trying to make this a nostalgia project, or kind of bring back a fantasy from the 1950s with a spotless kitchen and one parent, usually the mother home slow roasting a pot roast. The idea really is to try to involve as many people as possible to make the work a little bit lighter, and to focus more on what happens around the table then the food, I mean, everyone loves food too.

Jill Anderson: Anne Fishel is the executive director and co-founder of the Family Dinner Project. She is also a family therapist, clinical psychologist, and associate clinical professor of psychology at the Harvard Medical School. She is director of the family and couples therapy program at Massachusetts General Hospital. The Family Dinner Project just recently released the Eat, Laugh, Talk, the Family Dinner Playbook .

I'm Jill Anderson. This is the Harvard EdCast produced by the Harvard Graduate School of Education. Thanks for listening, and please subscribe.

About the Harvard EdCast

In the complex world of education, we keep the focus simple: what makes a difference for learners, educators, parents, and our communities.

The Harvard EdCast is a weekly podcast about the ideas that shape education, from early learning through college and career. We talk to teachers, researchers, policymakers, and leaders of schools and systems in the US and around the world — looking for positive approaches to the challenges and inequties in education. One of the driving questions we explore: How can the transformative power of education reach every learner? Through authentic conversation, we work to lower the barriers of education’s complexities so that everyone can understand.

An education podcast that keeps the focus simple: what makes a difference for learners, educators, parents, and communities

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The Power of Family Meals: Strengthening Bonds and Building Healthy Habits

Originally posted on 12/06/2023 @ 20:10

The Importance of Family Meals

Creating a sense of belonging.

Creating a sense of belonging is one of the most significant benefits of family meals. When families gather around the table to share a meal, it fosters a strong sense of connection and togetherness. This shared experience allows family members to engage in meaningful conversations, share stories, and truly connect with one another. It provides an opportunity for everyone to feel heard, valued, and supported, creating a safe and nurturing environment where individuals can express themselves freely. Moreover, regular family meals help establish traditions and rituals that further strengthen the family bond, creating a sense of belonging that extends beyond the dinner table.

Promoting Communication and Connection

Family meals provide a unique opportunity for promoting communication and connection among family members. Sitting down together at the dinner table allows for open and meaningful conversations, where everyone can share their thoughts, experiences, and emotions. This dedicated time fosters a sense of belonging and strengthens the bonds between family members. Engaging in regular family meals also encourages active listening and empathy, as individuals have the chance to truly connect with one another on a deeper level. Moreover, these shared meals create a supportive environment where everyone can feel comfortable expressing themselves and seeking advice or support from their loved ones. By prioritizing family meals, families can enhance their communication skills, build stronger relationships, and create lasting memories together.

Fostering Healthy Eating Habits

Fostering healthy eating habits is crucial for the overall well-being of individuals and families. Family meals provide a unique opportunity to instill these habits in children and promote a positive relationship with food. By consistently sitting down together for meals, parents can serve as role models, demonstrating the importance of balanced nutrition and making healthy choices. Engaging in conversations about different food groups, portion sizes, and the benefits of incorporating fruits and vegetables into meals can help children develop a deeper understanding of nutrition. Moreover, family meals create a supportive environment where parents can encourage their children to try new foods, expand their palate, and develop a lifelong appreciation for wholesome and nourishing meals.

Benefits of Regular Family Meals

Improved Mental and Emotional Well-being

Family meals have been found to have a significant impact on the mental and emotional well-being of individuals. Regularly sitting down together as a family for meals provides a sense of belonging and connection, fostering a supportive and nurturing environment. Engaging in meaningful conversations during these meals allows family members to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences, promoting open communication and emotional expression. This can help reduce stress, anxiety, and feelings of loneliness, as family members feel heard and understood. Additionally, the act of sharing meals together creates a sense of routine and stability, which can contribute to a greater sense of overall well-being. Research has shown that children who regularly have family meals are more likely to have better mental health outcomes, including higher self-esteem and lower rates of depression. Overall, family meals play a vital role in improving mental and emotional well-being by fostering a supportive and connected family environment.

Enhanced Academic Performance

In addition to strengthening family bonds and promoting healthy habits, regular family meals have been shown to have a positive impact on academic performance. Research suggests that children who regularly eat meals with their families tend to have higher grades, better language skills, and improved cognitive development. This may be attributed to the quality of communication and interaction that takes place during these meals. Family meals provide an opportunity for parents to engage in meaningful conversations with their children, discussing their day, sharing ideas, and providing guidance. These conversations not only foster critical thinking and problem-solving skills but also enhance vocabulary and language development. Furthermore, the routine and structure of family meals can contribute to better time management and organizational skills, which are essential for academic success. Overall, the power of family meals extends beyond the dinner table, positively impacting children’s academic performance and setting them up for future success.

Reduced Risk of Substance Abuse

Family meals have been found to play a crucial role in reducing the risk of substance abuse among adolescents. Research consistently shows that regular family meals provide a protective factor against the initiation and progression of substance use. By creating a supportive and nurturing environment, family meals offer an opportunity for open communication and connection between family members. This regular interaction allows parents to monitor their children’s behavior, identify any potential signs of substance abuse, and intervene early if necessary. Moreover, the structure and routine of family meals provide a sense of stability and belonging, which can help prevent adolescents from seeking solace in harmful substances. By strengthening family bonds and fostering healthy habits, family meals serve as a powerful tool in safeguarding against substance abuse and promoting overall well-being.

Tips for Successful Family Meals

Establishing a regular mealtime.

Establishing a regular mealtime is crucial for reaping the benefits of family meals. By setting a consistent schedule, families can create a sense of routine and structure, allowing everyone to anticipate and prioritize this special time together. Whether it’s breakfast, lunch, or dinner, having a designated mealtime ensures that family members can plan their day accordingly and make themselves available to gather around the table. Additionally, a regular mealtime provides an opportunity for open communication and connection, as it allows family members to come together, share stories, and engage in meaningful conversations. This consistent practice not only strengthens the bonds between family members but also fosters a sense of belonging and unity within the household. Moreover, establishing a regular mealtime can also contribute to building healthy habits, as it encourages the consumption of nutritious meals and discourages impulsive snacking or eating on the go. Overall, by prioritizing and establishing a regular mealtime, families can create a positive and enriching environment that promotes both physical and emotional well-being.

Involving Everyone in Meal Preparation

Involving everyone in meal preparation is a wonderful way to foster a sense of togetherness and create lasting memories. By including family members of all ages in the process, from young children to grandparents, everyone can contribute and feel a sense of ownership over the meal. This not only strengthens family bonds but also teaches valuable life skills and promotes healthy habits. Children can learn about nutrition and develop a love for cooking, while older family members can pass down cherished family recipes and traditions. Additionally, involving everyone in meal preparation encourages communication and teamwork, as family members work together to plan, shop for ingredients, and prepare the meal. Overall, involving everyone in meal preparation is a powerful tool for building strong family connections and promoting healthy habits that can last a lifetime.

Creating a Positive and Welcoming Atmosphere

Creating a positive and welcoming atmosphere during family meals is essential for fostering strong bonds and building healthy habits. To achieve this, it is important to create a warm and inviting space where everyone feels comfortable and valued. Start by setting the table with care, using colorful and appealing tableware. Consider incorporating elements that reflect each family member’s personality, such as personalized place cards or favorite decorations. Encourage open and respectful communication by establishing a no-judgment zone, where everyone’s opinions and ideas are valued. Additionally, playing soft background music or engaging in light-hearted conversation can help create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. By prioritizing a positive and welcoming environment, family meals become a cherished time for connection, support, and the development of healthy habits.

Overcoming Challenges to Family Meals

Busy schedules and time constraints.

In today’s fast-paced world, busy schedules and time constraints have become a common challenge for many families. With parents juggling work, school, extracurricular activities, and various commitments, finding time to sit down together for a family meal can seem nearly impossible. The demands of modern life often lead to rushed meals or even skipping them altogether. However, it is important to recognize the value of family meals and the positive impact they can have on strengthening bonds and building healthy habits. Despite the challenges posed by busy schedules, carving out dedicated time for shared meals can create a sense of unity and provide an opportunity for open communication and connection among family members.

Picky Eaters and Dietary Restrictions

Picky eaters and dietary restrictions can often pose challenges when it comes to family meals. However, with a little creativity and flexibility, it is possible to accommodate everyone’s needs and preferences while still fostering a sense of togetherness. For picky eaters, involving them in the meal planning and preparation process can help increase their interest and willingness to try new foods. Additionally, offering a variety of options and presenting meals in a visually appealing way can make the dining experience more enjoyable for them. When it comes to dietary restrictions, it is important to communicate openly and respectfully with family members who have specific dietary needs. This can involve researching alternative ingredients, finding suitable recipes, or even adapting traditional family favorites to accommodate those restrictions. By addressing picky eaters and dietary restrictions with patience and understanding, family meals can become a time for everyone to bond, explore new flavors, and develop healthy eating habits together.

Technology and Distractions

Technology and distractions have become an increasingly prevalent challenge during family meals. With the rise of smartphones, tablets, and other electronic devices, it has become all too easy for family members to be absorbed in their screens rather than engaging in meaningful conversation. This constant distraction not only hinders the opportunity for bonding and connection but also disrupts the establishment of healthy eating habits. Research has shown that individuals who are distracted by technology during meals tend to consume more calories and have a higher likelihood of making unhealthy food choices. Therefore, it is crucial for families to recognize the negative impact of technology on mealtime and make a conscious effort to limit its use, creating a space where genuine interactions can thrive and healthy habits can be fostered.

Making Family Meals Fun and Engaging

Introducing theme nights or special menus.

Introducing theme nights or special menus can add an exciting twist to family meals, making them even more enjoyable and memorable. By incorporating different themes or unique menus, families can explore new cuisines, cultures, and flavors together. Theme nights such as Mexican fiestas, Italian pasta nights, or even homemade pizza parties can create a fun and interactive atmosphere, encouraging everyone to get involved in the meal preparation and planning. Special menus can also be a great way to celebrate special occasions or holidays, allowing families to create their own traditions and rituals around food. Whether it’s dressing up in costumes, decorating the dining area, or trying out new recipes, theme nights and special menus can strengthen the bonds between family members and foster a sense of togetherness while building healthy eating habits.

Incorporating Games and Conversation Starters

Incorporating games and conversation starters into family meals can greatly enhance the bonding experience and foster healthy habits among family members. By engaging in fun and interactive activities, such as trivia games or storytelling sessions, families can create a lively and enjoyable atmosphere at the dinner table. These games not only encourage communication and active participation but also provide an opportunity for everyone to share their thoughts, experiences, and opinions. Moreover, conversation starters can spark interesting discussions on various topics, allowing family members to learn more about each other’s interests, aspirations, and challenges. This interactive approach to family meals not only strengthens the emotional connection between family members but also promotes the development of healthy habits, such as active listening, empathy, and effective communication skills.

Encouraging Everyone to Share Their Day

Encouraging everyone to share their day is a vital aspect of family meals that fosters open communication and strengthens the bonds between family members. By creating a safe and welcoming environment at the dinner table, family members are more likely to feel comfortable sharing their experiences, thoughts, and emotions from the day. This practice not only allows each individual to feel heard and valued but also promotes a deeper understanding of one another’s lives. Sharing the highs and lows of the day can lead to meaningful conversations, problem-solving, and support within the family unit. Additionally, this regular exchange of daily experiences can help build empathy, compassion, and a sense of belonging among family members. Encouraging everyone to share their day during family meals is a powerful way to nurture healthy habits of communication, connection, and emotional well-being within the family dynamic.

Long-Term Impact of Family Meals

Stronger Family Bonds and Relationships

Family meals have long been recognized as a powerful tool for strengthening bonds and fostering closer relationships among family members. When families gather around the table to share a meal, it provides a unique opportunity for open communication, active listening, and genuine connection. Engaging in regular family meals allows family members to engage in meaningful conversations, share their thoughts, experiences, and emotions, and truly understand and support one another. These shared moments create a sense of belonging and togetherness, helping to build trust, empathy, and a strong foundation for healthy relationships within the family unit. Moreover, the act of preparing and enjoying meals together promotes teamwork, cooperation, and a sense of shared responsibility, further enhancing the family bond.

Positive Health Outcomes

Numerous studies have highlighted the positive health outcomes associated with regular family meals. Firstly, these shared meals have been found to promote healthier eating habits among both children and adults. When families eat together, there is a greater likelihood of consuming nutritious, home-cooked meals rather than relying on fast food or processed options. This can lead to a reduced intake of unhealthy fats, sugars, and sodium, and an increased consumption of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. Additionally, family meals provide an opportunity for parents to model healthy eating behaviors, encouraging their children to make better food choices. Furthermore, research has shown that regular family meals are associated with a lower risk of obesity and related health conditions such as diabetes and cardiovascular diseases. The act of sitting down together and enjoying a meal fosters a sense of connection and support, which can positively impact mental health and overall well-being. In conclusion, the power of family meals extends beyond strengthening family bonds; it also plays a significant role in building healthy habits and promoting positive health outcomes for all family members.

Transferring Healthy Habits to Future Generations

Transferring healthy habits to future generations is crucial for the overall well-being of families. Family meals play a significant role in this process, as they provide an opportunity to instill healthy eating habits and promote positive relationships with food. By consistently engaging in shared meals, parents can serve as role models, demonstrating the importance of nutritious choices and balanced portions. Children who grow up in households that prioritize family meals are more likely to develop a positive attitude towards food, leading to a reduced risk of developing unhealthy eating patterns or disorders later in life. Moreover, these regular gatherings foster open communication and strengthen family bonds, creating a supportive environment where healthy habits can flourish. By making family meals a priority, we can ensure that future generations are equipped with the tools and knowledge to lead healthy and fulfilling lives.

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Why the Family Meal Is Important

For many parents, it would be much easier and simpler to forget about family dinners. Jobs, children, after-school activities all contribute to families being constantly on the go, thus feeling the need to eat on the run.

But more and more parents are realizing the importance of shared family time at the dinner table. Often, this is the only time when all family members are all together in one place. 

Although family dinners are viewed by some people as another burdensome chore at the end of a tiring day, more American families realize that the benefits of sharing time at day's end cannot be measured by calories alone.

Numerous studies show that eating together not only is an important aspect of family life, but helps make weight control easier.

When a family sits down together, it helps them handle the stresses of daily life and the hassles of day-to-day existence. Eating together tends to promote more sensible eating habits, which in turn helps family members manage their weight more easily. 

Here are tips from the experts on family dining:

Expectations

The purpose of a family dinner may differ from family to family. In one family, good table manners might be the most important thing parents want to teach; in another, it might be communicating with one another, learning how to listen, and learning to respect each other.

Children need to learn a little bit at a time, experts say. If dinnertime is an interesting time of day for your child, he is going to learn how to sit, and say, "How was your day?" and "What was the best thing that happened to you today?"

Communication

Dinnertime is a time of respite from the hustle-bustle of everyday life. Your family can review the day that's passed and plan for the day that's coming.

Teach by example

Divide tasks, so Mom alone is not responsible for preparing food, serving, and washing dishes. The chores and joys of feeding, nurturing and cleaning up should be shared.

Don't discuss things that would embarrass or humiliate family members. Certain subjects children may want to discuss might require more compassion, or more individualized listening. Otherwise, there are no taboo topics.

Build self-esteem

Dinner is a perfect opportunity to build self-esteem in children. By listening to what children have to say, you are saying, "I value what you do; I respect who you are and what you're doing; what you do is important to me."

Mealtime can be looked at as an opportunity or as a chore. If it's viewed as an opportunity, then all sorts of possibilities are created; if it's viewed as a chore, then the possibilities don't exist. And it doesn't matter if the food is filet mignon, or pizza and salad.

Parents should let children choose their own seats. If they fight over a favorite seat, help settle the dispute peacefully.

Family dynamics

One parent may feed the kids early, with the intention of protecting the other parent from a raucous meal. But this actually can isolate the absent parent from family dynamics and create distance. Certain scheduling conflicts cannot be avoided, but carving out family meal time on a regular basis can enhance family dynamics. 

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The Importance of Eating Together

Family dinners build relationships, and help kids do better in school.

After my mother passed away and my brother went to study in New Zealand, the first thing that really felt different was the dinner table. My father and I began eating separately. We went out to dinners with our friends, ate sandwiches in front of our computers, delivery pizzas while watching movies. Some days we rarely saw each other at all. Then, a few weeks before I was set to leave for university, my father walked downstairs. “You know, I think we should start eating together even if it’s just you and me,” he said. “Your mother would have wanted that.” It wasn’t ideal, of course—the meals we made weren’t particularly amazing and we missed the presence of Mom and my brother—but there was something special about setting aside time to be with my father. It was therapeutic: an excuse to talk, to reflect on the day, and on recent events. Our chats about the banal—of baseball and television—often led to discussions of the serious—of politics and death, of memories and loss. Eating together was a small act, and it required very little of us—45 minutes away from our usual, quotidian distractions—and yet it was invariably one of the happiest parts of my day.

Sadly, Americans rarely eat together anymore. In fact, the average American eats one in every five meals in her car, one in four Americans eats at least one fast food meal every single day, and the majority of American families report eating a single meal together less than five days a week. It’s a pity that so many Americans are missing out on what could be meaningful time with their loved ones, but it’s even more than that. Not eating together also has quantifiably negative effects both physically and psychologically.

Using data from nearly three-quarters of the world’s countries, a new analysis from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) found that students who do not regularly eat with their parents are significantly more likely to be truant at school. The average truancy rate in the two weeks before the International Program for International Student Assessment (PISA), a test administered to 15-year-olds by the OECD and used in the analysis as a measure for absenteeism, was about 15 percent throughout the world on average, but it was nearly 30 percent when pupils reported they didn’t often share meals with their families.

Children who do not eat dinner with their parents at least twice a week also were 40 percent more likely to be overweight compared to those who do, as outlined in a research presentation given at the European Congress on Obesity in Bulgaria this May. On the contrary, children who do eat dinner with their parents five or more days a week have less trouble with drugs and alcohol, eat healthier, show better academic performance, and report being closer with their parents than children who eat dinner with their parents less often, according to a study conducted by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University.

There are two big reasons for these negative effects associated with not eating meals together: the first is simply that when we eat out—especially at the inexpensive fast food and take-out places that most children go to when not eating with their family—we tend not to eat very healthy things. As Michael Pollan wrote in his most recent book, Cooked , meals eaten outside of the home are almost uniformly less healthy than homemade foods, generally having higher fat, salt, and caloric content.

The other reason is that eating alone can be alienating. The dinner table can act as a unifier, a place of community. Sharing a meal is an excuse to catch up and talk, one of the few times where people are happy to put aside their work and take time out of their day. After all, it is rare that we Americans grant ourselves pleasure over productivity (just look at the fact that the average American works nearly 220 hours more per year than the average Frenchman).

In many countries, mealtime is treated as sacred. In France, for instance, while it is acceptable to eat by oneself, one should never rush a meal. A frenzied salad muncher on the métro invites dirty glares, and employees are given at least an hour for lunch. In many Mexican cities, townspeople will eat together with friends and family in central areas like parks or town squares. In Cambodia, villagers spread out colorful mats and bring food to share with loved ones like a potluck .

In her book Eating Together , Alice Julier argues that dining together can radically shift people’s perspectives: It reduces people’s perceptions of inequality, and diners tend to view those of different races, genders, and socioeconomic backgrounds as more equal than they would in other social scenarios.

It hasn’t always been the case that Americans don’t prioritize eating together and eating slowly. In 1950, Elizabeth David, who was recognized as the sort of soul-stirring American culinary evangelist du moment, as perhaps Alice Waters or David Lebovitz is today, published A Book of Mediterranean Food . She wrote that great food is simple. She proposed that meals didn’t have to come from fancy or trendy restaurants, and that enjoying basic meals with loved ones makes for the best eating. In one particularly salient passage, she writes:

“In the shade of the lemon grove I break off a hunch of bread, sprinkle it with the delicious fruity olive oil, empty my glass of sour white Capri wine; and remember that Norman Douglas once wrote that whoever has helped us to a larger understanding is entitled to our gratitude for all time.”

Her equation for physical and psychological well-being is easy: Eat simply and eat together.

For the average American family, who now spends nearly as much money on fast food as they do on groceries, this simplicity is not so easily achieved. Perhaps the root of this problem is cultural misperception.

In America, it seems snobbish to take time to eat good food with one’s family. The Norman Rockwell portrait of the family around the dinner table now seems less middle-class and more haute bourgeois, as many families can’t afford to have one parent stay home from work, spending his or her day cleaning and cooking a roast and side of potatoes for the spouse and kids. Most parents don’t have time to cook, many don’t even know how, and the idea that one should spend extra money and time picking up produce at the supermarket rather than grabbing a bucket of Chinese take-out can seem unfeasible, unnecessary, and slightly pretentious. It’s understandable to want to save time and money. It’s the same reason that small shops go out of business once Walmart moves into town; but in this case it is not the shop owner who suffers, it is the consumer of unhealthy and rushed meals.

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How then do we eat better, not just from a nutritional perspective, but from a psychological one as well?

“To eat is a necessity, but to eat intelligently is an art,” said the 17th-century writer François de La Rochefoucauld. What “intelligence” means in the context of eating is debatable. There are those who obsess over their food—where it is sourced, if it is organic, the nebulous desire for culinary “originality”—who are known in the U.S. as “foodies” and in France as generation Le Fooding , both of which are the hipsters of cuisine, moneyed and sometimes picky. But this doesn’t seem quite like “intelligence” as de La Rochefoucauld meant it.

Perhaps to “eat intelligently,” one needs only to eat together. Although it would be nice to eat healthily as well, even take-out makes for a decent enough meal, psychologically speaking, so long as your family, roommates, or friends are present.

It’s incredible what we’re willing to make time for if we’re motivated. (Although we often end up just a bit too squeezed to make it to the gym in the morning, we can still find time to go to the movies after work.) Perhaps seeing eating together not as another appointment on a busy schedule, but rather as an opportunity to de-stress, a chance to catch up with those whom we love then, could help our children do better in school, get in better shape, and be less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol. Eating together also led children to report better relationships with their parents and surely relationships between adults can similarly benefit.

On our last night before I left home to return to school, my father and I went out to our favorite hometown restaurant, a Sichuan place where we always order the same thing: Yu Xiang Qiezi for me, Black Date Chicken for him. But even after 60 years of life on this planet and countless dinners here, he still could not properly hold a pair of chopsticks. “Let me help,” I said, and after a little resistance, he obliged me. “See you have to hold this one perfectly still,” I said, motioning to the chopstick in my left hand, “while you move this one to pick up your food.” The waiter came with another bowl of rice on which he would try. He nodded. “I think I’ve got it,” he said, delicately holding the chopsticks between his fingers. “The chopsticks each have an individual role, but in order not to drop your food, they have to work together. Right?” I smiled. “Exactly.”

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Importance of Eating Dinner as a Family, Essay Example

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Introduction

The family unit often struggles with its ability to communicate and to spend time together in today’s busy society. Families are torn in many different directions: mothers and fathers must work to keep food on the table, children must attend school and then extracurricular activities, and errands must be run to purchase items for the household to use. These challenges play a significant role in families where both parents work because there is often not enough time to cook dinner and sit down together and eat as a family. This is a serious concern in many families because it breeds a culture where fast food and restaurant takeout become acceptable and appropriate within the family unit. This is a difficult circumstance because it often leads to weight and other health challenges for children and adults. Therefore, the emphasis must be refocused on the family and dinner together not only as an opportunity to eat healthier meals, but also to openly communicate to ensure that the quality of family time is optimized. These efforts are instrumental in supporting positive outcomes for families and in influencing participation in family discussions and other matters. Therefore, the family dinner must serve as an opportunity to explore the different dimensions of the family dynamic and the ability of this unit to communicate, thrive, and grow through regular family dinners. This opportunity will have a positive impact on all family members, but in particular, young children and adolescents in order to promote greater bonding and communication with other family members. The following discussion will address the importance of family dinners as a strong basis for communication and interaction between family members in order to accomplish effective outcomes and to strengthen the family unit in many different ways to support success.

Prior studies have demonstrated that the family unit is often challenged by the many pressures of modern life, including work, school, social activities, financial matters, and limited interaction due to time constraints. Therefore, it is important to recognize these limitations and to find ways to promote togetherness and to encourage families to share time together and to communicate more effectively (Ochs et.al). Family dinners are not formulaic by any means, as each family has different routine and focus during this time; however, the consistent belief is that family dinners promote discussion, stimulate bonding, and demonstrate the value of basic togetherness (Ochs et.al). Therefore, family dinners must be encouraged as a means of promoting positive outcomes for all family members. These elements are critical to the success of different alternatives to promote a greater number of family dinners during the week and throughout the year (Ochs et.al).

In some families, there are considerable challenges associated with communication between parents and adolescent youth, and this is often exacerbated by busy schedules and difficulties finding time to spend together (Fulkerson et.al 261). Therefore, it is important to recognize the value of family dinners in this regard, as they support the expansion of much-needed communication between parents and their children (Fulkerson et.al 261). In many families, basic communication is very difficult to accomplish; therefore, the family dinner should be used as a vehicle to support these objectives and to demonstrate the value of interacting over food at the same table (Fulkerson et.al 261). These efforts are critical because they demonstrate the importance of specific factors associated with enhancing communication through family dinners, particularly between parents and their adolescent children, who might not otherwise communicate effectively under other circumstances (Fulkerson et.al 261). Therefore, families must prioritize dinner time in order to make this a focal point of their weekly schedules and activities and determine how to best move towards a regular time to have dinner together on a weekly basis (Fulkerson et.al 261).

The family dinner serves as a symbol of togetherness and camaraderie; however, many families simply do not take the time that is necessary to coordinate this activity into their busy daily lives. Furthermore, when families are split by divorce or other circumstances, dinnertime is often more challenging because there are fewer influences or incentives to engage in dinner conversations, particularly when one parent is absent (Stewart and Menning 193). There are several explanations regarding absent parents, such as fathers, including the following: “A poor-quality relationship with a nonresident father may also cause stress for the child, which may lead to unhealthy eating habits and obesity…An alternative hypothesis is that involvement with a nonresident father improves children’s eating habits. Through frequent visitation, nonresident fathers can help monitor and support their children’s mothers’ food procurement habits, resulting in more nutritious and regular meals” (Stewart and Menning 194). In either case, there are challenges to consider that play a role in shaping outcomes for children; therefore, family dinners, even if one parent is absent from the home, must play an important role in supporting communication and improved nutrition for children (Stewart and Menning 194). When families communicate regarding nutritional choices, mothers and fathers must explore their options in order to provide their children with important information in an interesting way so that they will take these discussions to heart (Stewart and Menning 194).

Parents must continue to address the challenges of family communication by using the family dinner as a guide. This is accomplished through the creation of an environment whereby children develop respect for their parents and behave in a manner that is respectful and appropriate (Sen 2). However, adolescents often experience different concerns that may impact their behaviors in different ways; therefore, family interaction may play an important role in enabling adolescents to voice their concerns and frustrations regarding issues in their lives (Sen 2). Therefore, family meals may play an important role in facilitating communication for adolescents to address problems and other concerns at the dinner table (Sen 2). When adolescents experience more family meals, they are likely to be more engaged in the family unit and in conversation that may promote positive behaviors and decision-making in the home environment and beyond (Sen 3). Also, these efforts are likely to be effective in reducing feelings of animosity, anger, frustration, and even depression in some adolescents (Sen 3). After a period of time, the efforts made at the family dinner table may contribute to the overall effectiveness of interactions between adolescents and their parents in some situations (Sen 3). Adolescents have an advantage in eating meals with their families, as they are likely to experience greater camaraderie and other feelings of support in the home environment and from their families in this manner (Sen 3).

In many ways, the family meal goes above and beyond the sharing of food and drink, as this time is also beneficial in promoting sound nutrition, improved decision-making, expanded communication, and other efforts that are designed to facilitate growth of the family unit (Fruh et.al 18). However, nutrition remains a significant component of this process and supports the demand for improved nutrition and healthier eating habits using the family dinner as a guide (Fruh et.al 18). From this perspective, it is of critical importance that nutritional habits are recognized and understood in the familial setting in order to expand options and to utilize the benefits of home cooking as best as possible (Fruh et.al 18). In this context, it is observed that the family unit provides an opportunity to convey the importance of different appraoches to cooking and to determine how to improve nutrition through healthier food choices and cooking habits (Fruh et.al 19). However, other benefits are also derived from family dinners, as children and adolescents are likely to improve their overall knowledge and vocabularies based upon interactions at the dinner table (Fruh et.al 19). Some studies have demonstrated that there is a significant impact of family dinners on academic achievement and expanding achild’s vocabulary over time (Fruh et.al 19). These efforts are important because theyallow children to interact with adults and to discuss broad topics that have wide range appeal (Fruh et.al 19). These elements are critical in contributing to the effectivenes fo fmaily dinners in stimulating conversation and positive behaviors in children and adolescents (Fruh et.al 19). Family meals also support the development of new perspectives regarding family unity and bonding because food often serves the sole purpose of bringing people together to have conversation and to share meals (Fruh et.al 20). These elements are important within the family unit because they may ease tension between individual family members and support a greater understanding of the issues that are most important to families, including sharing problems and discussing issues of importance (Fruh et.al 20). Family meals often convey the challenges of different perspectives regarding matters of improtance, as well as the opportunities that are available to promote growth and support within the family unit (Fruh et.al 21).

The ability to use family dinners as a driving force in supporting successful outcomes for families is not a novel concept. However, it is important to recognize the value of healthy alternatives so that children grow up with stronger nutritional values and a focus on healthy foods (Fulkerson et.al 189). These issues are relevant because eating meals as a family provides a greater opportunity to share nutritional knowledge and insight in the development of new perspectives to expand nutrition an d positive health for children and adults (Fulkerson et.al 189). However, one of the critical issues is the limited amount of time that is available to sit down and eat a family dinner together, as schedules and conflicts often interrupt these activities (Fulkerson et.al 189). Therefore, it is important to identify circumstances that may facilitate positive interactions between family members using the family dinner enviornment as a guide in this process to stimulate family discussion, bonding, and greater health and wellbeing (Fulkerson et.al 189). When the family unit thrives, it is likely that they will also be healthier, experience less stress, and develop opportunities to grow and thrive within the family unit and beyond (Fulkerson et.al 189).

One of the most unique opportunities that is available with family meals is the ability to be effective in promoting positive nutritional outcomes for children and adolescents (Hammons and Fiese e1565). In essence, it is possible for family dinners to promote greater nutrition and wellbeing for children when parents cook meals and are in control of the meal planning for the household (Hammons and Fiese e1565). These efforts are significant because they influence the time at which children eat, their interactions with family members, and the food that they consume during the meal (Hammons and Fiese e1565). These issues demonstrate that children who are required to eat with their families may experience greater health and wellbeing because they are required to consume foods that their parents prepare for them, rather than relying upon fast foods or other pre-prepared foods that have less nutritional value (Hammons and Fiese e1565). Under these conditions, it is necessary to develop strategies that will encourage families to eat healthier foods together and at the same time, in the same room (Hammons and Fiese e1565). It is advantageous to recognize these alternatives and to provide children with a means of obtaining nutrition in the home environment and in the company of different family members (Hammons and Fiese e1565).

Family dinners also represent an opportunity to develop associations between family members that will encourage adolescents to experience positive wellbeing at home, at school, and in social situations (Musick and Meier 476). It is known that “Children thrive on routine and stability…and meals are an important part of what organizes a child’s daily activities. But more than just routine, mealtime may entail patterned, symbolic practices for many families, including favorite foods, structured roles, and expressions of gratitude. These rituals may be comforting, promoting feelings of closeness and belonging and providing a break from daily stressors” (Musick and Meier 476). These considerations are important because they provide a greater understanding of the issues and challenges that many children face that could be positively influenced by family meals and togetherness (Musick and Meier 476). These issues are instrumental because they have a significant impact on family growth and development when they communicate and share meals together at the same location (Musick and Meier 476). One study that was conducted demonstrates that when families do not engage in regular dinners together, there is a potentially greater risk of negative adolescent behaviors, such as smoking, low academic performance, and drinking (Musick and Meier 476). These concerns are significant and play an important role in efforts to shift the tide towards increased numbers of family dinners because they play an important role in supporting positive outcomes, particularly for children who might face challenges inside and/or outside of the home environment that may limit their physical and intellectual growth and progress as they grow and thrive (Musick and Meier 476).

Family dinners are a critical component of modern family living. Some might argue that family dinners are a thing of the past and that they are not necessary in today’s busy environments. However, this is not the case, as family dinners continue to serve as the cornerstone for family togetherness, communication, and bonding in different ways. These efforts support a greater opportunity for families to share ideas, discuss problems, and to express emotions in the comfort of the familial environment. However, family dinners are also effective in expanding opportunities for home cooking and to make smart food choices to promote healthier nutrition. It is important for families to prepare meals that are healthy and satisfying so that children are able to obtain adequate nutrition, including fruits, vegetables, and proteins in the suggested manner and without excess fats, oils, and other negative ingredients that could interfere with quality. The family dinner serves as the glue that brings many families together and therefore, should be an important component of the family dynamic and overall household support system, regardless of a family’s size or makeup. These options are important because they convey the challenges of encouraging families to communicate more consistently and more effectively to reduce tension, stress, and other concerns, while also healing any wounds that exist and sharing information and providing insight that might be helpful to the family as a whole. In basing these alternatives around food, there is a greater opportunity to explore the dimensions of family bonding at all levels that will have a positive impact on all family members, but in particular, children and adolescents, perhaps with parents as well as brothers and sisters in and out of the house.

Works Cited

Fruh, Sharon M., Jayne A. Fulkerson, Madhuri S. Mulekar, Lee Ann J. Kendrick, and Clista Clanton. “The surprising benefits of the family meal.” The Journal for Nurse Practitioners, 7.1(2011): 18-22.

Fulkerson, Jayne A., Martha Y. Kubik, and Bonnie Dudovitz. “Focus groups with working parents of school-age children: what’s needed to improve family meals?” Journal of Nutrition Education and Behavior, 43.3(2011): 189-193.

Fulkerson, Jayne A., Martha Y. Kubik, Sarah Rydell, Kerri N. Boutelle, Ann Garwick, Mary Story, Dianne Neumark-Sztainer, and Bonnie Dudovitz. “Focus groups with working parents of school-age children: what’s needed to improve family meals?” Journal of Nutrition and Educational Behavior, 43.3(2011): 189-193.

Fulkerson, Jayne A., Keryn E. Pasch, and Kelli A. Komro. “Longitudinal associations between family dinner and adolescent perceptions of parent-child communication among racially diverse urban youth.” Journal of Family Psychology, 24.3(2010): 261-270.

Hammons, Amber J., and Barbara H. Fiese. “Is frequency of shared family meals related to the nutritional health of children and adolescents?” Pediatrics, 127.6(2011): e1565-e1574.

Musick, Kelly, and Ann Meier. “Assessing causality and persistence in associations between family dinners and adolescent well-being.” Journal of Marriage and Family, 74.3 (2012): 476-493.

Ochs, Elinor, Merav Shohet, Belinda Campos, and Margaret Beck. “Coming together at dinner: a study of working families.” UCLA Sloan Center on Everyday Lives of Families, 15 November 2013: http://www.sscnet.ucla.edu/celf/pages/view_abstract.php?AID=80

Sen, Bisakha. “The relationship between frequency of family dinner and adolescent problem behaviors after adjusting for other family characteristics” Munich Personal RePEc Archive, 15 November 2013: http://mpra.ub.uni-muenchen.de/24329/1/MPRA_paper_24329.pdf

Stewart, Susan D., and Chadwick L. Menning. “Family structure, nonresident father involvement, and adolescent eating patterns.” Journal of Adolescent Health, 45(2009):193-201.

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The power of a family meal

{***Pause/Music***} {***Noah***}

Coming up on Harvard Chan: This Week in Health…The power of a family meal.

{***Kathryn Walton Soundbite***} (It’s really a time for family members to kind of slow down. I think in our busy lives it’s hard to find that time. So, if we’re able to just take some time out of our day, sit down with others, and connect, I think that can be really, really valuable.)

A growing body of evidence shows that when families sit down for meals together, children and adolescents eat healthier.

In this week’s podcast, we’ll explore new research on the impact of these meals—and ways to make it easier for families to dine together.

Hello and welcome to Harvard Chan: This Week in Health, I’m Noah Leavitt.

For busy families, gathering together for a meal—whether it’s breakfast or dinner—can be difficult. But a growing body of research shows that these meals together can have an important influence on the quality of food that children and teens eat.

There’s been less research on effective ways to encourage families to eat together more often.

In this week’s episode we’re speaking with the author of a new study that could help public health professionals target interventions at busy families.

Kathryn Walton, is a research fellow at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and a PhD student at the University of Guelph in Toronto. One of the co-authors of this study is Bryn Austin, who is a professor in the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences here at the Harvard Chan School.

The researchers found that when families sit down together for dinner, adolescents and young adults eat more fruits and veggies and consume fewer fast-food and takeout items.

What’s unique about this study is that Walton and her colleagues looked at the families participating in the meal—assessing how they communicated, managed schedules, and even bonded with children—something called family functioning.

And they found that the benefits of family meals were seen regardless of how well—or poorly—a family functioned. I spoke to Walton about the findings of her study—and how they could inform future initiatives to encourage families to eat together.

I began our conversation by asking her to explain what existing research has shown about the benefits of family meals.

{***Kathryn Walton Interview***}

KATHRYN WALTON: We know that family meals have many, many benefits for both children and adolescents. When we think about dietary intake we see higher intakes of fruits and vegetables, lower intakes of sugar sweetened beverages like sodas, less takeout, less fast food. But we also see higher well-being. We see lower rates of depression, substance abuse, and disordered eating.

So the benefits of family meals are very broad, but what my team was interested in was that perhaps these benefits only exist for certain families. And so it may not be the best message to be promoting family meals broadly for everybody when perhaps the benefits may look different for different families. So that’s kind of what brought us to this research, because nobody had really looked at the general family that actually participates in the family meal. So what do those interactions look like for different families when they sit down together?

So that’s really what inspired this research, is to understand, do high and low functioning families benefit the same way?

NOAH LEAVITT: And so you mentioned there that you were looking at something called family functioning. So can you explain a little bit about what that is, and then how you go about measuring that?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah, for sure. So family functioning is a measure of how well families problem solve, communicate, and connect emotionally. And so if we think about family meals, these are really important aspects of the meal. You’re sitting down with other people, there is going to be communication that goes on, but even in the planning of the meal itself. And so we sort of thought that perhaps for some families that experience lower levels of functioning, that they might have more difficulties planning the meal, making it happen, or perhaps the modeling that parents do during meal time, so modeling the foods they eat, modeling healthful food behaviors.

If parents and children don’t have a strong bond, perhaps that modeling isn’t as beneficial or as effective as families who have a stronger emotional bond. So that’s a little bit about that. So for example, one of the questions is when we make plans, we’re able to make things happen. And then another question is members in our family are accepted for who they are. So it’s fairly broad in terms of thinking about functioning.

NOAH LEAVITT: So as I was reading about that and hearing you talk about that, I would be interested to know, are there are any correlations between family functioning and other socioeconomic factors? Like are high functioning families likely to be higher income? Or low functioning families are likely be lower income? Do we know anything there about the factors that maybe drive higher levels of family functioning?

KATHRYN WALTON: For sure. So from our data, we don’t see that, because all of the participants were children of nurses from the Nurses’ Health Study. So in our study, everybody came from families with fairly similar income levels. So we do see at the same income level families from high end low functioning. Certainly there are correlates that can influence functioning, but across the board we do see families at all ends of the spectrum of socioeconomic status with both high and low functioning. So I wouldn’t say that income is a proxy for family functioning or anything like that.

NOAH LEAVITT: Mhm. Mhm. And then so in terms of would you actually found with the study, and as you kind of indicated you’re looking to see whether the benefits of these family meals hold up regardless of family functioning. So what did you find in terms of high functioning families, versus low functioning families, and the impact of these family meals on the nutrition of youth and adolescents?

KATHRYN WALTON: So we found that as you mentioned, above and beyond family functioning, that family meals do matter. So we first looked at does the association look different between high and low functioning families? So we looked at effect modification. And we found that the effect of family meals on youth dietary intake really looked very, very similar. There were no significant differences between those from high and low functioning families.

So then we thought, OK, let’s adjust for family functioning in our models. And again, we didn’t see any change in our associations when we adjusted for family functioning. So really it didn’t change our story. And so we see that for adolescents and young adults in both high and low functioning families, when we think about dietary intake, sitting down together really does make an impact.

NOAH LEAVITT: And so I know you looked at a few things, for example, vegetable consumption, sugar sweetened beverage consumption. Where did you see the family meals having the most impact? Was it increased vegetable consumption, decreased sugar sweetened beverages consumption, where was the most impact seen?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah, that’s a great question. And I think the fruit and vegetable intake was a big one. And that’s mostly because we typically see the amounts of fruits and vegetables eaten among this population really decline. And I think the other interesting thing is that we did look at fruit without juice servings. So we’re looking at whole fruits and vegetables, which is an important point. Because a lot of studies combine juice in that when we think about sugar intakes and that type of thing.

So it was the fruits and vegetables that we did see the most impact on, which is great. Amongst the youth in our study, we actually didn’t see a lot of sugar sweetened beverage select soda consumption, fast food or take out. So our effect sizes were fairly small there, but we did see some decline.

NOAH LEAVITT: And one of the other things I noticed is that there were some differences in terms of male and female participants in terms of kind of their dietary intake. So what were some of those differences, and do you have a sense of what might have driven those differences?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah. So I guess the biggest difference was that for male participants, frequent family dinners were significantly associated with fewer sugar sweetened beverages– so again, those sodas– but not for females. But again, the association actually looks fairly similar. It could be that they’re just consuming– we do see that males tend to drink more of those beverages than females. So that could be driving that association.

And we do see slightly higher rates of family meal participation among the females. So that could also be driving that a little bit as well.

NOAH LEAVITT: I thought it was interesting. There was a quote from one of your colleagues, Jess Haynes, who was talking about family meals don’t need to be complicated. It can be pulling something out of the freezer, putting a bag salad in a bowl, keeping it simple. So I think given that, what do you think it is about family meals that make them so influential in terms of improving dietary intake for kids in a family?

KATHRYN WALTON: It’s really a time for family members to kind of slow down. I think in our busy lives it’s hard to find that time. So if we’re able to just take some time out of our day, sit down with others, and connect, I think that can be really, really valuable. Putting down the screens, turning off the TV, and just sitting down face to face with others can be really beneficial.

And I think that we do need to remember that it doesn’t have to be a big full blown– I know American Thanksgiving just happened– it doesn’t have to be a Thanksgiving style meal every night. That’s just too much. And I think when we sort of let go of those expectations, and know that just sitting down together in itself makes a difference, I think that can help families.

Make what’s easy. Pull stuff out of the freezer as Jess said. Throw a bag salad on. Whether it comes from a bag or you chop it up yourself, you’re getting the same nutritional benefits.

NOAH LEAVITT: So I think one of the interesting points you make in the paper is that even though there is this kind of growing evidence of the benefits of family meals, there haven’t been many interventions designed to promote more family meals. So I guess given this growing body of evidence, what might an intervention look like aimed at getting families to sit down together and eat more often?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah, that’s a great question. And I think it is an interesting point that we have all this great research showing the benefits, but we really haven’t done a good job of helping families out. We just keep saying it’s great, it’s great, it’s great. But how do we actually sit down and make that time? So I think the big thing for interventions is that time piece, that families are very, very busy, and to sit down for even 20-30 minutes can be a challenge.

And so one of the things I like to think about is how do we make it easier to happen, and that I think includes getting the youth in the family involved, so that it’s not just one person night after night preparing everything while others sit and watch TV or whatever. So many hands do make light work. So if we can get the adolescents helping prepare the meal, not only does it get on the table faster, but it also helps teach really important food skills that will serve those adolescents into their adult years.

And we do with the family meal research, interestingly, see intergenerational associations. So youth that sit down for frequent family meals during their adolescence do so with their own children when they become parents. So it does have intergenerational implications.

NOAH LEAVITT: Is this something, I guess, where you could see potentially schools getting involved, I don’t know, doctors, hospitals, to kind of– because as you said, if making it start more with teenagers, if there are opportunities there to kind of provide more nutrition, kind of cooking training to teenagers, so when they go home they’re able to kind of jump in the kitchen and help out their families?

KATHRYN WALTON: Oh, for sure. I think that in the schools we could see more home economics type courses, nutrition courses to teach those really valuable food skills. We overall in North America have seen a decline in food skills. And so when we think about preparing healthful meals, that’s an important piece.

But thinking even more broadly, as a society we don’t make it easy, either. Like if we think about we want our kids to be physically active, which is great, and of course has many, many benefits for long term health. But extracurriculars are always during dinnertime. So it’s sort of which one do you do you pick? Do you sit down together, or do you put your child in the activity, and then you’re running through the drive-through? Right?

So it’s hard to make it all happen. And so I think as a society, thinking through the timing of when– it’s a bigger issue. But it’s something that our environment really doesn’t support.

NOAH LEAVITT: And I imagine that that time crunch is probably even harder for– if you’re a family where both the mother and father work, or maybe one of the parents is working two jobs. Is that, I guess, kind of a next step here? Like how do you find time for those family meals when people are maybe working multiple jobs just to make ends meet?

KATHRYN WALTON: Oh for sure. And I think that’s a really important piece, and something that’s a reality for many, many families. And I think a big point to that is to really highlight the research that shows that it doesn’t have to be dinner time. So in our study, we did measure family dinners, so the evening meal. But the research looking at other meals during the day show that the benefits from sitting down together any time of day still hold. So breakfast counts. If both parents are working in the evenings, and you can get even 15 minutes to sit down and check in before the start of the day with your children at breakfast time, that’s great.

And I think the other thing is that we need to be not so hard on ourselves. It’s very difficult, I think, for families to sit down together seven nights a week. A lot of the research does look at five meals a week for showing many benefits, but we do see that every meal counts. So even if you can sit down together one night a week, and as it gets easier, and as family members’ schedules change and make it, perhaps, easier to sit down more often, add more meals in.

But start where families are. I think we see it as an all or nothing thing, and the research doesn’t support that. Each meal you sit down together, the more benefits you get.

NOAH LEAVITT: You mentioned a few minutes ago this idea that the meals don’t have to be complicated. It can be a bag salad, it can be something frozen, it can be something simple. Kind of going back to that question about maybe like lower income families, or people working two jobs, what’s the role of– in the US we have Snap as a safety net nutritional program. Is there a role there for these kind of nutritional safety net programs to take any steps there that they can provide foods that are more conducive to a family quickly getting together for 30 minutes on a weeknight, or even a quick breakfast before school during the week?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah, for sure. I think it’s really a sort of broader public health question of how do we support families in making it easier? I do think that having for sure access to healthful foods does make the foods that you’re serving during the meals more beneficial. But when we think about family meals, just sitting down together is great. So whether you’re serving a pizza, or you’re serving some sort of gourmet salad, your children will reap many benefits from sitting down together.

So I think getting families to sit down together first, and then second, if we can start to add a salad in, make the side yourselves, slowly add some more homemade food in there as it allows, I think that that’s good. But just sitting down together is great too.

NOAH LEAVITT: Right. The idea of carve out the time first to get everyone to the table. And then from there you can think more critically about where you’re serving.

KATHRYN WALTON: I argue that the research really does support that that bonding time is really beneficial. And we do see research showing that for families with lower levels of functioning, so families that find it challenging to communicate, and may not have a strong emotional bond with each other, sitting down together or preparing a meal together can really help with that functioning and that communication. Because at very most, when you’re sitting down together you do have to ask for the ketchup to be passed. But preparing a meal together gives everyone a role in the family, as well, and can help with that bonding. So we do see that the more you sit down together, the higher your functioning can be.

NOAH LEAVITT: That was actually going to be something I was going to ask, was can these family dinners in some sense improve the functioning of these lower functioning families? Because it seems to be getting a lot of the things that they may struggle with, such as communication, or managing schedules, or those kinds of things.

KATHRYN WALTON: And I do think that it is important to note in the findings of our study that we see both high and low functioning families sitting down together frequently. So when we think about interventions, it’s not just low functioning families that we need to target there. We have lots of adolescents and young adults in our study that reported high levels of family functioning, but that they weren’t sitting down together. So I think we need to sort of look at why families sit down together in the first place, and target the interventions to the individual families.

NOAH LEAVITT: And so that leads well into my last question. I always like to ask people, what would the next steps be? So from your perspective, is it really making maybe digging more in, doing a larger, longer study to get at those factors that are driving why people might sit down for meals together, or why they just aren’t finding the time to do that?

KATHRYN WALTON: Yeah, for sure. I think that we have a really good body of research looking at the barriers for family meals. So we know that. We know why it’s hard to sit down for family meals– time, feeding picky eaters, that type of thing. But we really need to know despite these barriers, why are the families that are sitting down together doing that, and why are the families that aren’t, beyond other barriers, why aren’t they sitting down together? I think that’s an important piece to creating some interventions.

But then we really just need to dive in and start trying to support families, so testing interventions. What works, what doesn’t? And really partnering with families that we’re trying to support to make those interventions tailored, because I think every family experiences their own barriers. So whether we have a toolbox of items, whether we have healthful recipes, and we have items to help with conversation for families that are a bit nervous sitting down together for the first time, or whether we have tips on how to get the meal on the table faster, and then families can choose what benefits them most. Those are just some ideas, but really I think those are the next steps. We need to really understand why families do and don’t, beyond just time, and feeding picky eaters, and that type of thing.

{***Pause/Music***}

That was my conversation with Kathryn Walton about her research on family meals. If you want to read the full paper, we’ll have a link on our website, hsph.me/thisweekinhealth.

That’s all for this week’s episode. A reminder that you can always find us on iTunes, Soundcloud, Spotify, and Stitcher.

December 7, 2018 — For busy families, gathering together for a meal—whether it’s breakfast or dinner—can be difficult. But a growing body of research shows that these meals together can have an important influence on the quality of food that children and teens eat. However, there’s been less research on effective ways to encourage families to eat together more often. In this week’s episode we’re speaking with  Kathryn Walton , research fellow at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto and a PhD student at the University of Guelph in Toronto, about a new study that could help public health professionals target interventions at busy families.

Walton and a team of researchers, including Bryn Austin , professor in the Department of Social and Behavioral Sciences , found that when families sit down together for dinner, adolescents and young adults eat more fruits and vegetables and consume fewer fast-food and takeout items. What’s unique about this study is that Walton and her colleagues looked at the families participating in the meal—assessing how they communicated, managed schedules, and even bonded with children, something called family functioning. And they found that the benefits of family meals were seen regardless of how well—or poorly—a family functioned. We spoke with Walton about the findings of her study and how they could inform future initiatives to encourage families to eat together.

You can subscribe to Harvard Chan: This Week in Health by visiting  iTunes  or  Google Play  and you can listen to it by following us on  Soundcloud , and stream it on the  Stitcher  app or on  Spotify .

Family Dinners Improve Teens’ Eating Habits No Matter How Well Family Functions, New U of G Study Finds

The Magic of the Family Meal Essay

In her article The Magic of the Family Meal , Nancy Gibbs discusses the importance of family meals. In particular, the author argues that they can improve the relations between parents and their children. Overall, it is possible to agree with this argument; however, one should bear in mind that family meals bring benefits only in those cases when children sense that parents genuinely care about them. Provided that this feeling is not present, they are not likely to affect the wellbeing of families.

Overall, Nancy Gibbs provides convincing evidence that confirms the importance of family meals. The writer believes that they can be viewed as civilizing moments during which children learn behavioral norms and values. Moreover, in this way parents can learn more about the possible problems that children can face in school. So, these experiences can be important for every member of the family. The main role is that they help to promote communication between parents and children

Nevertheless, this effect can be achieved provided that parents know what their children value and what they need. For instance, such meals may not necessarily help families in which domestic violence takes place very often. Similarly, they will be useless in those cases, when parents constantly quarrel with one another or vent their spleen on children. Under such circumstances, children will only avoid family meals in every possible way. This is the main issue that parents should keep in mind.

So, family meals are important for the socialization of children and their wellbeing. Yet, they may not bring any improvements if there is certain conflict between parents. So, people should not assume that such events will automatically help families.

• Chicago (A-D)
• Chicago (N-B)

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The Tradition of Families Getting Together to Eat Meals is Disappearing - Task 2 Band 9 Essay Sample

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The tradition of families getting together to eat meals is disappearing.

What are the reasons?

What are the impacts?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

You should write at least 250 words.

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Model Essay 1

In recent years, the traditional practice of families congregating for meals has seen a notable decline. This essay posits that the primary reasons for this shift are the accelerating pace of life and the pervasive influence of technology, which have, in turn, led to significant social and health-related consequences. The ensuing paragraphs will delve into these causes and their implications in detail.

The frenetic tempo of contemporary life serves as a primary catalyst for the erosion of shared meal times. With adults ensnared in long working hours and children engaged in educational and extracurricular commitments, synchronizing schedules has become a Herculean task. This disjointedness is further exacerbated by the omnipresence of technology. Mobile devices and social media, while connecting us globally, paradoxically alienate us from those physically nearest to us, including our family members at the dinner table. The allure of screens often supersedes the appeal of sitting down to a shared meal, leading to a fragmentation of family bonds.

The ramifications of this trend are multifaceted. Socially, the diminution of family meals erodes the fabric of familial intimacy, as these gatherings traditionally served as a crucible for bonding, sharing experiences, and imparting values. Health-wise, there is a tangible shift towards convenience foods with compromised nutritional value, given the absence of communal cooking and eating. This shift predisposes individuals to lifestyle diseases such as obesity and diabetes. Moreover, the loss of structured meal times deprives family members of a crucial anchor in their daily routines, potentially exacerbating stress and feelings of isolation.

In conclusion, the decline of family meal traditions is symptomatic of broader societal shifts towards faster-paced living and the pervasive influence of technology. This evolution bears significant social and health consequences, underscoring the need to reassess and perhaps recalibrate our daily priorities and practices to nurture family cohesion and well-being.

Model Essay 2

The ritual of family meals, once a cornerstone of domestic life, is gradually vanishing, a phenomenon driven by modern lifestyle changes and technological advancements. This essay contends that the erosion of this tradition stems from the accelerated pace of contemporary life and the pervasive reach of digital technology, leading to profound impacts on family dynamics and individual health.

The acceleration of daily routines, now marked by increasingly demanding work schedules and a multitude of educational commitments, significantly impedes the feasibility of regular family gatherings at the dinner table. In parallel, the digital age has ushered in an era of gadgets that command the undivided attention of individuals, further isolating family members from one another and curtailing meaningful interactions. The consequence of these dual forces is a notable decline in the opportunities for familial interactions, once readily facilitated by shared meals. These gatherings served not only as a nutritional necessity but also as a vital channel for communication and bonding, nurturing relationships and fostering a sense of belonging among family members.

This shift from traditional meal times significantly impacts social cohesion and nutritional habits in families. Less frequent shared meals reduce the transmission of family values and erode unity. Nutritionally, the preference for fast, often unhealthy options over home-cooked meals is linked to increased diet-related issues like obesity and heart diseases. This trend towards convenience undermines nutritional quality and disrupts eating patterns, which can heighten stress and affect mental well-being. Ultimately, these changes in dining habits have far-reaching effects on family health and unity, underscoring the importance of preserving mealtime traditions for the sake of both social bonds and physical health.

In summary, the diminishing practice of family meals reflects broader societal changes, with significant consequences for both the social fabric of families and the health of individuals. This trend calls for a conscious effort to reclaim these valuable moments of togetherness, highlighting the importance of prioritizing family interactions and well-being in the face of modern challenges.

Sample Essay 3

There is a popular view that a familial culture of having dinner together is becoming a thing of the past. It might be because parents’ excessive work stress is leaving less time for the children. However, it has a far-reaching consequence, as the children are getting deprived of familial connection and a proper raising. The following paragraphs are going to elucidate the idea with appropriate logic and examples.

Nowadays, the fast-paced environment of people’s lives has been changing the boundary of the families. It has become almost impossible that family members could spend quality time together. These days, people’s general level of income are relatively lower than ever before. That is why, to stretch out salaries all through the month, most of the parents are required to work full time. As a result, by the time they arrive home, offspring have had their meal. Eventually, parents and children cannot have the valuable time together which is must for the children’s proper raising.

In fact, this absence of family gathering is coming up with a huge cost, as parents are losing the chance to listen to their children and failing to build a strong emotional connection with them. A proper family dinner used to give both parents and children a chance to interact closely and convey messages to the Kids regarding the right manners or other valuable lessons. But this incredible chapter is becoming obsolete because of the unprecedented changes in the modern lifestyle. As a result, lesser parental time is not only depriving children from gaining a proper growth, but also it is breeding childhood traumas which can eventually lead to an adult mental illness.

To conclude, with the advent of modernisation and the resulting financial strain, parents are getting heavily involved in their professional aspect which has an extremely detrimental impact on their children’s proper growth in the long run.

Sample Essay 4

In the past, family members tended to dine together on several occasions. While these events are disappearing due to the extended working schedules and family structures, this development would lead to the lack of communication and unstable relationship.

The reduction of family reunions results from the heavy workloads and increased nuclear family. Most of the companies set up the urgent and short time notice deadlines for employees. As a result, most of the employees require to work overtime to complete the given targets, which consumes their spare time that could be otherwise used to hang out with their family members. In addition, there is a rising trend of nuclear families, living away independently from their parents, grandparents, or other relatives. These unprecedented changes are leading up to the reduced frequency of family gatherings and meals together.

However, the substantial reduction of family meals is detrimental to family members’ relationship and communication. To be specific, mealtime is one of the most important time for a family since it gives the members a chance to interact closely and convey messages regarding several family decisions. Therefore, lesser mealtime is not only depriving from building a strong emotional connection, but also deepening any unsolved misunderstanding between family members. For instance, previously grandchildren used to meet their grandparents or other relatives in family festivals or reunion meals, whereas this generation is now mostly unfamiliar with older ones, and this is mainly attributed to the absence of family dining. These phenomena are deterring people from even meeting their family members, let alone close interactions.

In conclusion, extended working hours and the rise of nuclear family structure are the root reasons for the reduced culture of family dining. However, this development negatively affects the relationships and interaction between family members.

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Essay on Family Dinner

Students are often asked to write an essay on Family Dinner in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Family Dinner

What is family dinner.

Family dinner is a time when everyone in the house sits together to eat. It is not just about food, but also about sharing stories and talking to each other. This meal helps family members feel close and spend quality time together.

Benefits of Eating Together

Eating together is good for everyone. It makes family bonds stronger. Kids can learn manners and how to talk to others. Families can talk about their day and make plans together. It’s a time for laughter and joy.

Challenges Families Face

Sometimes, it’s hard to have family dinner because everyone is busy. Parents work, and kids have homework or sports. But trying to eat together even once a week can make a big difference in a family’s life.

Making Family Dinners Fun

To make family dinners fun, everyone can help cook or set the table. You can have theme nights or talk about fun topics. The key is to make everyone feel included and happy to be together at the table.

250 Words Essay on Family Dinner

What is a family dinner.

A family dinner is a meal where all the family members sit and eat together. It is a time when everyone can share their day’s stories and enjoy home-cooked food. This meal is special because it brings the family close and allows them to spend quality time with each other.

Eating together has many good points. It helps family members feel like they belong and are loved. Kids often do better in school when they have regular family dinners. It’s also a chance for parents to teach their children about healthy eating habits. Sharing a meal can make everyone feel happier and more connected.

What Happens at Family Dinners?

At family dinners, people talk, laugh, and sometimes even argue in a friendly way. It’s normal because this is how families solve problems and understand each other better. Parents might talk about their work, while kids might talk about their friends or what they learned in school.

Keeping the Tradition Alive

In today’s busy world, it can be hard to have family dinners. But trying to have them even a few times a week can make a big difference. It doesn’t have to be a fancy meal. What’s important is being together. Some families have rules like no phones at the table, so everyone can focus on the conversation.

In conclusion, family dinners are a wonderful tradition that keeps families connected. They are good for everyone’s heart and mind. By sharing a simple meal, families create memories and bonds that last a lifetime.

500 Words Essay on Family Dinner

A family dinner is a meal where all the members of a family sit and eat together. This meal is often eaten at the end of the day when everyone has finished their work, school, or other activities. The food can be anything from simple dishes to special recipes that the family enjoys. The important part is that everyone is together.

The Food We Eat

At family dinners, the food on the table can be very different from one house to another. Some families might eat pizza, while others might have rice, vegetables, and chicken. Sometimes, families have a special dish that they make only on certain days, like tacos on Tuesdays or fish on Fridays. The type of food is not as important as the act of sharing it with each other.

Talking and Sharing

One of the best things about family dinners is the chance to talk. Parents and children can share what happened during their day. They can tell funny stories, talk about something they learned, or discuss plans for the weekend. This talking helps family members understand each other better and feel close to one another.

Learning Good Manners

Family dinners are also a time for kids to learn good manners. They learn to wait for their turn to get food, say “please” and “thank you,” and not talk with their mouth full. These manners are important for when they eat with other people outside their home, like at a friend’s house or a restaurant.

Helping Out

Everyone in the family can help with dinner. Younger kids can set the table or mix a salad. Older kids might help cook some of the food. After eating, everyone can help clean up. Doing these jobs together makes the work faster and can even be fun.

Problems with Missing Family Dinners

Sometimes, it can be hard to have family dinners. People might be too busy with work, school, or other things. Missing these meals can make family members feel less connected to each other. That is why it is good to try to have family dinners as often as possible.

Solutions for Busy Families

For families that are very busy, there are ways to still have family dinners. One way is to pick a day of the week that is less busy and make sure everyone knows that is the day for family dinner. Another way is to make the dinner simple, so it does not take a lot of time to prepare. Even sitting together for a quick meal is better than not eating together at all.

Family dinners are a special time for everyone in the family. They are a chance to eat good food, talk about the day, and learn important manners. Even when life is busy, finding time to eat together can make a family stronger and happier. It is a simple thing that can make a big difference in everyone’s life.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on Family Financial Problem
• Essay on Family Gathering
• Essay on Fiscal Federalism

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Six brilliant student essays on the power of food to spark social change.

Read winning essays from our fall 2018 “Feeding Ourselves, Feeding Our Revolutions,” student writing contest.

For the Fall 2018 student writing competition, “Feeding Ourselves, Feeding Our Revolutions,” we invited students to read the YES! Magazine article, “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,”   by Korsha Wilson and respond to this writing prompt: If you were to host a potluck or dinner to discuss a challenge facing your community or country, what food would you cook? Whom would you invite? On what issue would you deliberate? 

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these six—on anti-Semitism, cultural identity, death row prisoners, coming out as transgender, climate change, and addiction—were chosen as essay winners.  Be sure to read the literary gems and catchy titles that caught our eye.

Middle School Winner: India Brown High School Winner: Grace Williams University Winner: Lillia Borodkin Powerful Voice Winner: Paisley Regester Powerful Voice Winner: Emma Lingo Powerful Voice Winner: Hayden Wilson

Literary Gems Clever Titles

Middle School Winner: India Brown  

A Feast for the Future

Close your eyes and imagine the not too distant future: The Statue of Liberty is up to her knees in water, the streets of lower Manhattan resemble the canals of Venice, and hurricanes arrive in the fall and stay until summer. Now, open your eyes and see the beautiful planet that we will destroy if we do not do something. Now is the time for change. Our future is in our control if we take actions, ranging from small steps, such as not using plastic straws, to large ones, such as reducing fossil fuel consumption and electing leaders who take the problem seriously.

 Hosting a dinner party is an extraordinary way to publicize what is at stake. At my potluck, I would serve linguini with clams. The clams would be sautéed in white wine sauce. The pasta tossed with a light coat of butter and topped with freshly shredded parmesan. I choose this meal because it cannot be made if global warming’s patterns persist. Soon enough, the ocean will be too warm to cultivate clams, vineyards will be too sweltering to grow grapes, and wheat fields will dry out, leaving us without pasta.

I think that giving my guests a delicious meal and then breaking the news to them that its ingredients would be unattainable if Earth continues to get hotter is a creative strategy to initiate action. Plus, on the off chance the conversation gets drastically tense, pasta is a relatively difficult food to throw.

In YES! Magazine’s article, “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,” Korsha Wilson says “…beyond the narrow definition of what cooking is, you can see that cooking is and has always been an act of resistance.” I hope that my dish inspires people to be aware of what’s at stake with increasing greenhouse gas emissions and work toward creating a clean energy future.

 My guest list for the potluck would include two groups of people: local farmers, who are directly and personally affected by rising temperatures, increased carbon dioxide, drought, and flooding, and people who either do not believe in human-caused climate change or don’t think it affects anyone. I would invite the farmers or farm owners because their jobs and crops are dependent on the weather. I hope that after hearing a farmer’s perspective, climate-deniers would be awakened by the truth and more receptive to the effort to reverse these catastrophic trends.

Earth is a beautiful planet that provides everything we’ll ever need, but because of our pattern of living—wasteful consumption, fossil fuel burning, and greenhouse gas emissions— our habitat is rapidly deteriorating. Whether you are a farmer, a long-shower-taking teenager, a worker in a pollution-producing factory, or a climate-denier, the future of humankind is in our hands. The choices we make and the actions we take will forever affect planet Earth.

 India Brown is an eighth grader who lives in New York City with her parents and older brother. She enjoys spending time with her friends, walking her dog, Morty, playing volleyball and lacrosse, and swimming.

High School Winner: Grace Williams

Apple Pie Embrace

It’s 1:47 a.m. Thanksgiving smells fill the kitchen. The sweet aroma of sugar-covered apples and buttery dough swirls into my nostrils. Fragrant orange and rosemary permeate the room and every corner smells like a stroll past the open door of a French bakery. My eleven-year-old eyes water, red with drowsiness, and refocus on the oven timer counting down. Behind me, my mom and aunt chat to no end, fueled by the seemingly self-replenishable coffee pot stashed in the corner. Their hands work fast, mashing potatoes, crumbling cornbread, and covering finished dishes in a thin layer of plastic wrap. The most my tired body can do is sit slouched on the backless wooden footstool. I bask in the heat escaping under the oven door.

 As a child, I enjoyed Thanksgiving and the preparations that came with it, but it seemed like more of a bridge between my birthday and Christmas than an actual holiday. Now, it’s a time of year I look forward to, dedicated to family, memories, and, most importantly, food. What I realized as I grew older was that my homemade Thanksgiving apple pie was more than its flaky crust and soft-fruit center. This American food symbolized a rite of passage, my Iraqi family’s ticket to assimilation. 

 Some argue that by adopting American customs like the apple pie, we lose our culture. I would argue that while American culture influences what my family eats and celebrates, it doesn’t define our character. In my family, we eat Iraqi dishes like mesta and tahini, but we also eat Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast. This doesn’t mean we favor one culture over the other; instead, we create a beautiful blend of the two, adapting traditions to make them our own.

 That said, my family has always been more than the “mashed potatoes and turkey” type.

My mom’s family immigrated to the United States in 1976. Upon their arrival, they encountered a deeply divided America. Racism thrived, even after the significant freedoms gained from the Civil Rights Movement a few years before. Here, my family was thrust into a completely unknown world: they didn’t speak the language, they didn’t dress normally, and dinners like riza maraka seemed strange in comparison to the Pop Tarts and Oreos lining grocery store shelves.

 If I were to host a dinner party, it would be like Thanksgiving with my Chaldean family. The guests, my extended family, are a diverse people, distinct ingredients in a sweet potato casserole, coming together to create a delicious dish.

In her article “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,” Korsha Wilson writes, “each ingredient that we use, every technique, every spice tells a story about our access, our privilege, our heritage, and our culture.” Voices around the room will echo off the walls into the late hours of the night while the hot apple pie steams at the table’s center.

We will play concan on the blanketed floor and I’ll try to understand my Toto, who, after forty years, still speaks broken English. I’ll listen to my elders as they tell stories about growing up in Unionville, Michigan, a predominately white town where they always felt like outsiders, stories of racism that I have the privilege not to experience. While snacking on sunflower seeds and salted pistachios, we’ll talk about the news- how thousands of people across the country are protesting for justice among immigrants. No one protested to give my family a voice.

Our Thanksgiving food is more than just sustenance, it is a physical representation of my family ’s blended and ever-changing culture, even after 40 years in the United States. No matter how the food on our plates changes, it will always symbolize our sense of family—immediate and extended—and our unbreakable bond.

Grace Williams, a student at Kirkwood High School in Kirkwood, Missouri, enjoys playing tennis, baking, and spending time with her family. Grace also enjoys her time as a writing editor for her school’s yearbook, the Pioneer. In the future, Grace hopes to continue her travels abroad, as well as live near extended family along the sunny beaches of La Jolla, California.

University Winner: Lillia Borodkin

Nourishing Change After Tragedy Strikes

In the Jewish community, food is paramount. We often spend our holidays gathered around a table, sharing a meal and reveling in our people’s story. On other sacred days, we fast, focusing instead on reflection, atonement, and forgiveness.

As a child, I delighted in the comfort of matzo ball soup, the sweetness of hamantaschen, and the beauty of braided challah. But as I grew older and more knowledgeable about my faith, I learned that the origins of these foods are not rooted in joy, but in sacrifice.

The matzo of matzo balls was a necessity as the Jewish people did not have time for their bread to rise as they fled slavery in Egypt. The hamantaschen was an homage to the hat of Haman, the villain of the Purim story who plotted the Jewish people’s destruction. The unbaked portion of braided challah was tithed by commandment to the kohen  or priests. Our food is an expression of our history, commemorating both our struggles and our triumphs.

As I write this, only days have passed since eleven Jews were killed at the Tree of Life Synagogue in Pittsburgh. These people, intending only to pray and celebrate the Sabbath with their community, were murdered simply for being Jewish. This brutal event, in a temple and city much like my own, is a reminder that anti-Semitism still exists in this country. A reminder that hatred of Jews, of me, my family, and my community, is alive and flourishing in America today. The thought that a difference in religion would make some believe that others do not have the right to exist is frightening and sickening.  

 This is why, if given the chance, I would sit down the entire Jewish American community at one giant Shabbat table. I’d serve matzo ball soup, pass around loaves of challah, and do my best to offer comfort. We would take time to remember the beautiful souls lost to anti-Semitism this October and the countless others who have been victims of such hatred in the past. I would then ask that we channel all we are feeling—all the fear, confusion, and anger —into the fight.

As suggested in Korsha Wilson’s “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,” I would urge my guests to direct our passion for justice and the comfort and care provided by the food we are eating into resisting anti-Semitism and hatred of all kinds.

We must use the courage this sustenance provides to create change and honor our people’s suffering and strength. We must remind our neighbors, both Jewish and non-Jewish, that anti-Semitism is alive and well today. We must shout and scream and vote until our elected leaders take this threat to our community seriously. And, we must stand with, support, and listen to other communities that are subjected to vengeful hate today in the same way that many of these groups have supported us in the wake of this tragedy.

This terrible shooting is not the first of its kind, and if conflict and loathing are permitted to grow, I fear it will not be the last. While political change may help, the best way to target this hate is through smaller-scale actions in our own communities.

It is critical that we as a Jewish people take time to congregate and heal together, but it is equally necessary to include those outside the Jewish community to build a powerful crusade against hatred and bigotry. While convening with these individuals, we will work to end the dangerous “otherizing” that plagues our society and seek to understand that we share far more in common than we thought. As disagreements arise during our discussions, we will learn to respect and treat each other with the fairness we each desire. Together, we shall share the comfort, strength, and courage that traditional Jewish foods provide and use them to fuel our revolution. 

We are not alone in the fight despite what extremists and anti-semites might like us to believe.  So, like any Jew would do, I invite you to join me at the Shabbat table. First, we will eat. Then, we will get to work.  

Lillia Borodkin is a senior at Kent State University majoring in Psychology with a concentration in Child Psychology. She plans to attend graduate school and become a school psychologist while continuing to pursue her passion for reading and writing. Outside of class, Lillia is involved in research in the psychology department and volunteers at the Women’s Center on campus.   

Powerful Voice Winner: Paisley Regester

As a kid, I remember asking my friends jokingly, ”If you were stuck on a deserted island, what single item of food would you bring?” Some of my friends answered practically and said they’d bring water. Others answered comically and said they’d bring snacks like Flamin’ Hot Cheetos or a banana. However, most of my friends answered sentimentally and listed the foods that made them happy. This seems like fun and games, but what happens if the hypothetical changes? Imagine being asked, on the eve of your death, to choose the final meal you will ever eat. What food would you pick? Something practical? Comical? Sentimental?  

This situation is the reality for the 2,747 American prisoners who are currently awaiting execution on death row. The grim ritual of “last meals,” when prisoners choose their final meal before execution, can reveal a lot about these individuals and what they valued throughout their lives.

It is difficult for us to imagine someone eating steak, lobster tail, apple pie, and vanilla ice cream one moment and being killed by state-approved lethal injection the next. The prisoner can only hope that the apple pie he requested tastes as good as his mom’s. Surprisingly, many people in prison decline the option to request a special last meal. We often think of food as something that keeps us alive, so is there really any point to eating if someone knows they are going to die?

“Controlling food is a means of controlling power,” said chef Sean Sherman in the YES! Magazine article “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,” by Korsha Wilson. There are deeper stories that lie behind the final meals of individuals on death row.

I want to bring awareness to the complex and often controversial conditions of this country’s criminal justice system and change the common perception of prisoners as inhuman. To accomplish this, I would host a potluck where I would recreate the last meals of prisoners sentenced to death.

In front of each plate, there would be a place card with the prisoner’s full name, the date of execution, and the method of execution. These meals could range from a plate of fried chicken, peas with butter, apple pie, and a Dr. Pepper, reminiscent of a Sunday dinner at Grandma’s, to a single olive.

Seeing these meals up close, meals that many may eat at their own table or feed to their own kids, would force attendees to face the reality of the death penalty. It will urge my guests to look at these individuals not just as prisoners, assigned a number and a death date, but as people, capable of love and rehabilitation.  

This potluck is not only about realizing a prisoner’s humanity, but it is also about recognizing a flawed criminal justice system. Over the years, I have become skeptical of the American judicial system, especially when only seven states have judges who ethnically represent the people they serve. I was shocked when I found out that the officers who killed Michael Brown and Anthony Lamar Smith were exonerated for their actions. How could that be possible when so many teens and adults of color have spent years in prison, some even executed, for crimes they never committed?  

Lawmakers, police officers, city officials, and young constituents, along with former prisoners and their families, would be invited to my potluck to start an honest conversation about the role and application of inequality, dehumanization, and racism in the death penalty. Food served at the potluck would represent the humanity of prisoners and push people to acknowledge that many inmates are victims of a racist and corrupt judicial system.

Recognizing these injustices is only the first step towards a more equitable society. The second step would be acting on these injustices to ensure that every voice is heard, even ones separated from us by prison walls. Let’s leave that for the next potluck, where I plan to serve humble pie.

Paisley Regester is a high school senior and devotes her life to activism, the arts, and adventure. Inspired by her experiences traveling abroad to Nicaragua, Mexico, and Scotland, Paisley hopes to someday write about the diverse people and places she has encountered and share her stories with the rest of the world.

Powerful Voice Winner: Emma Lingo

The Empty Seat

“If you aren’t sober, then I don’t want to see you on Christmas.”

Harsh words for my father to hear from his daughter but words he needed to hear. Words I needed him to understand and words he seemed to consider as he fiddled with his wine glass at the head of the table. Our guests, my grandma, and her neighbors remained resolutely silent. They were not about to defend my drunken father–or Charles as I call him–from my anger or my ultimatum.

This was the first dinner we had had together in a year. The last meal we shared ended with Charles slopping his drink all over my birthday presents and my mother explaining heroin addiction to me. So, I wasn’t surprised when Charles threw down some liquid valor before dinner in anticipation of my anger. If he wanted to be welcomed on Christmas, he needed to be sober—or he needed to be gone.

Countless dinners, holidays, and birthdays taught me that my demands for sobriety would fall on deaf ears. But not this time. Charles gave me a gift—a one of a kind, limited edition, absolutely awkward treat. One that I didn’t know how to deal with at all. Charles went home that night, smacked a bright red bow on my father, and hand-delivered him to me on Christmas morning.

He arrived for breakfast freshly showered and looking flustered. He would remember this day for once only because his daughter had scolded him into sobriety. Dad teetered between happiness and shame. Grandma distracted us from Dad’s presence by bringing the piping hot bacon and biscuits from the kitchen to the table, theatrically announcing their arrival. Although these foods were the alleged focus of the meal, the real spotlight shined on the unopened liquor cabinet in my grandma’s kitchen—the cabinet I know Charles was begging Dad to open.

I’ve isolated myself from Charles. My family has too. It means we don’t see Dad, but it’s the best way to avoid confrontation and heartache. Sometimes I find myself wondering what it would be like if we talked with him more or if he still lived nearby. Would he be less inclined to use? If all families with an addict tried to hang on to a relationship with the user, would there be fewer addicts in the world? Christmas breakfast with Dad was followed by Charles whisking him away to Colorado where pot had just been legalized. I haven’t talked to Dad since that Christmas.

As Korsha Wilson stated in her YES! Magazine article, “Cooking Stirs the Pot for Social Change,” “Sometimes what we don’t cook says more than what we do cook.” When it comes to addiction, what isn’t served is more important than what is. In quiet moments, I like to imagine a meal with my family–including Dad. He’d have a spot at the table in my little fantasy. No alcohol would push him out of his chair, the cigarettes would remain seated in his back pocket, and the stench of weed wouldn’t invade the dining room. Fruit salad and gumbo would fill the table—foods that Dad likes. We’d talk about trivial matters in life, like how school is going and what we watched last night on TV.

Dad would feel loved. We would connect. He would feel less alone. At the end of the night, he’d walk me to the door and promise to see me again soon. And I would believe him.

Emma Lingo spends her time working as an editor for her school paper, reading, and being vocal about social justice issues. Emma is active with many clubs such as Youth and Government, KHS Cares, and Peer Helpers. She hopes to be a journalist one day and to be able to continue helping out people by volunteering at local nonprofits.

Powerful Voice Winner: Hayden Wilson

Bittersweet Reunion

I close my eyes and envision a dinner of my wildest dreams. I would invite all of my relatives. Not just my sister who doesn’t ask how I am anymore. Not just my nephews who I’m told are too young to understand me. No, I would gather all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins to introduce them to the me they haven’t met.

For almost two years, I’ve gone by a different name that most of my family refuses to acknowledge. My aunt, a nun of 40 years, told me at a recent birthday dinner that she’d heard of my “nickname.” I didn’t want to start a fight, so I decided not to correct her. Even the ones who’ve adjusted to my name have yet to recognize the bigger issue.

Last year on Facebook, I announced to my friends and family that I am transgender. No one in my family has talked to me about it, but they have plenty to say to my parents. I feel as if this is about my parents more than me—that they’ve made some big parenting mistake. Maybe if I invited everyone to dinner and opened up a discussion, they would voice their concerns to me instead of my parents.

I would serve two different meals of comfort food to remind my family of our good times. For my dad’s family, I would cook heavily salted breakfast food, the kind my grandpa used to enjoy. He took all of his kids to IHOP every Sunday and ordered the least healthy option he could find, usually some combination of an overcooked omelet and a loaded Classic Burger. For my mom’s family, I would buy shakes and burgers from Hardee’s. In my grandma’s final weeks, she let aluminum tins of sympathy meals pile up on her dining table while she made my uncle take her to Hardee’s every day.

In her article on cooking and activism, food writer Korsha Wilson writes, “Everyone puts down their guard over a good meal, and in that space, change is possible.” Hopefully the same will apply to my guests.

When I first thought of this idea, my mind rushed to the endless negative possibilities. My nun-aunt and my two non-nun aunts who live like nuns would whip out their Bibles before I even finished my first sentence. My very liberal, state representative cousin would say how proud she is of the guy I’m becoming, but this would trigger my aunts to accuse her of corrupting my mind. My sister, who has never spoken to me about my genderidentity, would cover her children’s ears and rush them out of the house. My Great-Depression-raised grandparents would roll over in their graves, mumbling about how kids have it easy nowadays.

After mentally mapping out every imaginable terrible outcome this dinner could have, I realized a conversation is unavoidable if I want my family to accept who I am. I long to restore the deep connection I used to have with them. Though I often think these former relationships are out of reach, I won’t know until I try to repair them. For a year and a half, I’ve relied on Facebook and my parents to relay messages about my identity, but I need to tell my own story.

At first, I thought Korsha Wilson’s idea of a cooked meal leading the way to social change was too optimistic, but now I understand that I need to think more like her. Maybe, just maybe, my family could all gather around a table, enjoy some overpriced shakes, and be as close as we were when I was a little girl.

 Hayden Wilson is a 17-year-old high school junior from Missouri. He loves writing, making music, and painting. He’s a part of his school’s writing club, as well as the GSA and a few service clubs.

 Literary Gems

We received many outstanding essays for the Fall 2018 Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye.

Thinking of the main staple of the dish—potatoes, the starchy vegetable that provides sustenance for people around the globe. The onion, the layers of sorrow and joy—a base for this dish served during the holidays.  The oil, symbolic of hope and perseverance. All of these elements come together to form this delicious oval pancake permeating with possibilities. I wonder about future possibilities as I flip the latkes.

—Nikki Markman, University of San Francisco, San Francisco, California

The egg is a treasure. It is a fragile heart of gold that once broken, flows over the blemishless surface of the egg white in dandelion colored streams, like ribbon unraveling from its spool.

—Kaylin Ku, West Windsor-Plainsboro High School South, Princeton Junction, New Jersey

If I were to bring one food to a potluck to create social change by addressing anti-Semitism, I would bring gefilte fish because it is different from other fish, just like the Jews are different from other people.  It looks more like a matzo ball than fish, smells extraordinarily fishy, and tastes like sweet brine with the consistency of a crab cake.

—Noah Glassman, Ethical Culture Fieldston School,  Bronx, New York

I would not only be serving them something to digest, I would serve them a one-of-a-kind taste of the past, a taste of fear that is felt in the souls of those whose home and land were taken away, a taste of ancestral power that still lives upon us, and a taste of the voices that want to be heard and that want the suffering of the Natives to end.

—Citlalic Anima Guevara, Wichita North High School, Wichita, Kansas

It’s the one thing that your parents make sure you have because they didn’t.  Food is what your mother gives you as she lies, telling you she already ate. It’s something not everybody is fortunate to have and it’s also what we throw away without hesitation.  Food is a blessing to me, but what is it to you?

—Mohamed Omar, Kirkwood High School, Kirkwood, Missouri

Filleted and fried humphead wrasse, mangrove crab with coconut milk, pounded taro, a whole roast pig, and caramelized nuts—cuisines that will not be simplified to just “food.” Because what we eat is the diligence and pride of our people—a culture that has survived and continues to thrive.

—Mayumi Remengesau, University of San Francisco, San Francisco, California

Some people automatically think I’m kosher or ask me to say prayers in Hebrew.  However, guess what? I don’t know many prayers and I eat bacon.

—Hannah Reing, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, The Bronx, New York

Everything was placed before me. Rolling up my sleeves I started cracking eggs, mixing flour, and sampling some chocolate chips, because you can never be too sure. Three separate bowls. All different sizes. Carefully, I tipped the smallest, and the medium-sized bowls into the biggest. Next, I plugged in my hand-held mixer and flicked on the switch. The beaters whirl to life. I lowered it into the bowl and witnessed the creation of something magnificent. Cookie dough.

—Cassandra Amaya, Owen Goodnight Middle School, San Marcos, Texas

Biscuits and bisexuality are both things that are in my life…My grandmother’s biscuits are the best: the good old classic Southern biscuits, crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside. Except it is mostly Southern people who don’t accept me.

—Jaden Huckaby, Arbor Montessori, Decatur, Georgia

We zest the bright yellow lemons and the peels of flavor fall lightly into the batter.  To make frosting, we keep adding more and more powdered sugar until it looks like fluffy clouds with raspberry seed rain.

—Jane Minus, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, Bronx, New York

Tamales for my grandma, I can still remember her skillfully spreading the perfect layer of masa on every corn husk, looking at me pitifully as my young hands fumbled with the corn wrapper, always too thick or too thin.

—Brenna Eliaz, San Marcos High School, San Marcos, Texas

Just like fry bread, MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat) remind New Orleanians and others affected by disasters of the devastation throughout our city and the little amount of help we got afterward.

—Madeline Johnson, Spring Hill College, Mobile, Alabama

I would bring cream corn and buckeyes and have a big debate on whether marijuana should be illegal or not.

—Lillian Martinez, Miller Middle School, San Marcos, Texas

We would finish the meal off with a delicious apple strudel, topped with schlag, schlag, schlag, more schlag, and a cherry, and finally…more schlag (in case you were wondering, schlag is like whipped cream, but 10 times better because it is heavier and sweeter).

—Morgan Sheehan, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, Bronx, New York

Clever Titles

This year we decided to do something different. We were so impressed by the number of catchy titles that we decided to feature some of our favorites. 

“Eat Like a Baby: Why Shame Has No Place at a Baby’s Dinner Plate”

—Tate Miller, Wichita North High School, Wichita, Kansas 

“The Cheese in Between”

—Jedd Horowitz, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, Bronx, New York

“Harvey, Michael, Florence or Katrina? Invite Them All Because Now We Are Prepared”

—Molly Mendoza, Spring Hill College, Mobile, Alabama

“Neglecting Our Children: From Broccoli to Bullets”

—Kylie Rollings, Kirkwood High School, Kirkwood, Missouri  

“The Lasagna of Life”

—Max Williams, Wichita North High School, Wichita, Kansas

“Yum, Yum, Carbon Dioxide In Our Lungs”

—Melanie Eickmeyer, Kirkwood High School, Kirkwood, Missouri

“My Potluck, My Choice”

—Francesca Grossberg, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, Bronx, New York

“Trumping with Tacos”

—Maya Goncalves, Lincoln Middle School, Ypsilanti, Michigan

“Quiche and Climate Change”

—Bernie Waldman, Ethical Culture Fieldston School, Bronx, New York

“Biscuits and Bisexuality”

“W(health)”

—Miles Oshan, San Marcos High School, San Marcos, Texas

“Bubula, Come Eat!”

—Jordan Fienberg, Ethical Culture Fieldston School,  Bronx, New York

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Interested in partnering with the family dinner project, bring us to your community with workshops, partnership programs, and more   learn more, the familydinnerproject.org, on the path to college, reflecting on family dinner.

Note: This essay was originally written by teen Paul Clancy as part of the college application process. He included it in his Common Application as a response to the question “Describe a place or environment in which you are perfectly content, why is it meaningful to you?” Paul is currently studying at the University of Illinois — Champaign.

I did not always appreciate our family dinner. When I was younger and more selfish I was not interested in spending that much time with my family. Now, I understand that my family is the cornerstone to my success and family dinner is the cornerstone to my family’s success. Family dinner creates a sense of community and stability. Even if everything in my life seems to be crumbling to pieces, I know that mahogany table set for dinner will stand tall among the rubble. I can always look forward to a beautifully prepared meal filled with laughter and conversation to glue me back together.

One of the best aspects of our family dinner is that it has morphed over time. It has seamlessly aged with the rest of my family. At first, dinner would last ten minutes. Conversation topics changed quicker than lightning could strike. It started with “how was your day?” and ended with “where is your shirt?” My parents struggled to control four children under the age of 6. The combined attention span of us kids was less than a nanosecond. None of us kids knew what we truly needed but we certainly knew what we liked. The room would echo with screams for dessert, television and story time. Inevitably a glass or two of milk would be spilled. Afterwards my dad worked to clean off all of our faces and my mom struggled to clean the dishes. We were a messy bunch, wearing each meal’s color on our faces.

As my brothers, sister, and I began to enter the tween and teenage years, the intensity of conversation was amped up by agreement and debate from across the table. Fights at a Clancy family dinner are unique because my mother is an attorney and my father is a judge. Pulling hair and throwing food was not tolerated, so we kids learned to use our words as weapons and as shields. My parents reinforced the notion that a well-placed adjective is just as powerful as a sucker punch. Synonyms of stupid and annoying were as plentiful as the creamy mashed potatoes, yet my parents always managed to exhibit a sense of control over dinner. Groundings were handed out not only for bad behavior but also for taboo language. Although the weekend of a 12-14 year old is nothing incredibly enticing, the reactions of a Saturday night quarantine rivaled those of capital punishment. However, by the end of dinner, tensions would usually fall and most problems could be soothed with some ice cream and words of wisdom.

Now with three kids in high school a 7 o’clock dinner time is hard to come by. However, everyone makes sacrifices to be present. I find that once I sit down I no longer want to leave. Family dinner creates this fulfilling energy that I cannot find anywhere else. I always leave that mahogany dining table feeling happier than when I sat down.

Family dinner has helped make me the young man I am today. It has taught me the importance of listening, but it has also showed me how to make my point heard. I have become more loyal, responsible, and accountable. Most importantly, I have created a unique bond with my family that will not be broken. Lee Iacocca summed it up best stating, “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.” I could not agree more.

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• Eating And Health

Food For Thought

• For Foodies

Students Serve Up Stories Of Beloved Family Recipes In A Global Cookbook

Becky Harlan

Atole de elote is a warm corn drink from Central America. Student Jose Rivas wrote an essay about a weekly tradition of enjoying atole with his late father in El Salvador, and how the drink helped him to feel more at home after he moved to the U.S. Becky Harlan/NPR hide caption

Atole de elote is a warm corn drink from Central America. Student Jose Rivas wrote an essay about a weekly tradition of enjoying atole with his late father in El Salvador, and how the drink helped him to feel more at home after he moved to the U.S.

Editor's note: This story has been updated to include the contributions of English teacher Jill Weiler in the publication of Delicious Havoc.

Washington, D.C.'s Capital City Public Charter School feels like a mini United Nations. Many of the school's 981 students are first-generation Americans with backgrounds spanning the globe, from El Salvador to Nigeria to Vietnam. So when the 11th grade teaching team needed to choose a focus topic everyone could relate to and write about, the clear answer was food.

That was four years ago. Since then, English teacher Jill Weiler and her colleagues have joined forces with the staff of the literacy non-profit 826DC , to help students refine their writing (and their recipes), to reach a wider audience.

The process works something like this: Writing coaches ask students to think of a family recipe with a backstory, and then to write an essay around that dish. The recipes (there were a total of 81 last year) and their accompanying stories are compiled into a cookbook of global cuisine with a heartfelt touch, revealing that storytelling may be the most important step in any recipe.

Some students shared tales of beloved dishes, the mere thought of which can make their mouths water. "As the steam from the macaroni rose, the smell seemed as if it had fallen from heaven," writes Mark St. John Pete about his grandmother's macaroni and cheese.

Others focused on less, uh, beloved foods. "I think tamales do not rot because they can be in a fridge for weeks and look the same," says Rolando Fuentes, who lost his taste for bundled packages of corn masa, from his mother's native El Salvador, as a result of what you might call overexposure.

As juniors, many (maybe all) of these students are preparing to head to college. ( Since graduating its first class in 2012, 100 percent of Capital City Public Charter School students have been accepted to college .) Writing these food-focused stories has helped the students become better writers, but it's also forced them to delve into their identities and hone their reporting skills with their families, reinforcing important connections before they leave home.

In order to fill holes in their narratives, many of the young writers had to reach out to older family members for more information. When they didn't know a detail or an ingredient, the writing coaches would encourage them to ask. "We'd say, 'Talk to your dad about it," explains 826 D.C's Lacey Dunham. "And they'd say, 'Well I did talk to my dad. We had a conversation, and he told me all this stuff. I had no idea.' "

On the last day of the project, the students celebrated their accomplishment with a potluck — each bringing in the dish they'd so thoughtfully written about. A few even read their stories aloud.

"It's a fun way to get students to think critically about who they are," says Zachary Clark, executive director of 826DC, "to tell their stories through a mechanism where the outcome is everyone gets to eat."

Excerpts from 7 of the 81 stories are below, recipes included:

Chidinma Lantion Courtesy of Becky Harlan hide caption

Okra (Not Orca) Soup , by Chidinma Lantion

Recipe Origin: Nigeria

My mom came to this country on Halloween night in 1990 (she still doesn't understand the purpose of the holiday); it was an experience. She was a petite, wide-eyed 18-year-old Nigerian who had never been out of the country, but who was brave enough to go into the unexpected. She was pushing towards another life outside of what her parents expected of her back home. It was dark and cold, and she felt as if the little children in masks were a projection of what she felt inside. She went to her cousin's house in Rockville, Maryland, and the first thing they tried to feed her was pizza, but she was not having it. There were too many new and unusual flavors that she was not used to, all on one slice that she could not handle it. It just tasted artificial. So she made them go out in the middle of the night to get some okra soup because, after such a long journey to a foreign country, she needed something to remind her of her home and what she was used to. She needed the sliminess of the okra and chewiness of the cow skin to let her know, no matter how far away she was from home, no matter how much things changed, she would always have the comfort that the food would always be the same.

Janet Arevalo Courtesy of Becky Harlan hide caption

Nuegados, Que Rico! by Janet Arevalo

Recipe Origin: El Salvador

I always helped my mom make nuegados as much as I could ... I would help her peel the yucca with a plastic knife. It took me forever but, you know, safety first. My face would lighten up brighter than the sun when my mom dropped the mushy balls of yucca into the roaring fire. The heat was so intense that over time my mom lost almost all of her lashes. I would help her pack them in bags of five, but I would always take a bite from one of them and put it back in. I called this taste testing for customers, satisfaction guaranteed. My mom would always laugh loudly at my shenanigans, you could hear it from miles away, but she would never get mad. How could I not bite those delicious nuegados itching to be eaten? The smell of the atado de dulce was like a pool of sugar that mixed with my saliva and the rest of the nuegados. (Of course, she took the bitten nuegados out, they had my cooties on them!) Then, after all the food was prepared, my mom would head out to the streets to sell her yummy food to the hungry people.

Idriis Hill Courtesy of Becky Harlan hide caption

Mom's Chili Bowl , by Idriis Hill

Recipe Origin: United States

As a child in junior high school, my mother loved chili. A couple blocks away from her school, there was a concession stand owned by a man named Mr. Steven. Mr. Steven was a skinny African-American man who wore a hat and had a mustache. He was always happy and took pride in his "shop," which was just a small stand. Every day after school, my mom and a couple of her friends would go to Mr. Steven's hot dog stand because he sold the best chili she ever had. He told her that you couldn't get his chili anywhere because it was his wife's homemade recipe.

After becoming an adult and living on her own, my mother was determined to re-create the chili she remembered from Mr. Steven's stand.

Ana Nguyen Courtesty of Becky Harlan hide caption

Cháo Bò (Beef and Rice Porridge Soup) , by Ana Nguyen

Recipe Origin: Vietnam

In a country filled with many diverse cultures, I always felt like the outcast at school. When there was a potluck for Christmas or Thanksgiving, I was the kid who brought a bag of chips, not because I couldn't bring cooked dishes, but because I lived in a Western culture with a Vietnamese background. I'm in a country mainly dominated by foods my family doesn't normally cook. When I was little, I never ate cereal for breakfast. I would have it as a rare snack, without milk. The few times I brought my culture into the school, I received remarks like, "It looks weird," "It made me want to barf," and "What is that?" ...

One day, two of my close friends came over. They were your average Hispanic-American teenagers. It was mid-July and over 90 degrees outside, around noon. The three of us sat around a small table in the dining room adjacent to the kitchen. Then, my mom brought in cháo for us to eat. The preparations began in my mind. I prepared my mom an excuse as to why they wouldn't eat it. Why I would probably eat most of it. Why I would ask her not to share Vietnamese food with my friends. I watched as they both took a sip of the alien soup. A long silence passed — in reality several seconds — and I hesitantly asked, "How does it taste?" To my surprise they loved it.

Jose Rivas Courtesy of Becky Harlan hide caption

The Irresistible Atole de Elote (Warm Corn Drink) , by Jose Rivas

Even though I was born on March 26, 1999, I feel as if my life didn't start until I was 5 years old. Although many people go as far as to say that they remember everything since they were in the womb — which, by the way, I find a little unreliable — I do have some memories of when I was a little boy. One of my most vivid memories is drinking atole de elote in a small restaurant in El Salvador near the neighborhood where I used to live. Atole de elote is made out of corn and milk. There are some traditional beliefs that surround the making of atole de elote . It's believed that only one person can stir the a tole de elote or it will taste bad, and that pregnant women and anyone in a bad mood can't stir it because it will make the atole de elote taste bitter.

See the rest of the 81 recipes featured in 826DC's Delicious Havoc here . To download the recipes in this post, click on the title of the recipe.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Family History — Family Dinner: What Makes Us Together!

Family Dinner: What Makes Us Together!

• Categories: Family History Family Relationship Family Values

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Published: Aug 30, 2022

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Family Meal Time

Updated 13 September 2023

Subject Love ,  Myself

Downloads 48

Category Life ,  Family ,  Sociology

Topic Relationship

Taking meals with family

Taking meals with family provides the opportunity to engage in conversations with family members. Spending time with family is fundamental and taking meals together helps give a chance to bond with each other. Listening to my family over meals when I was a child often made me forget the time pass. Family meal time is captivating as it helps people share their experiences, exchange ideas and even get advice from family members. Moreover, it also provides an opportunity to have fun after a long day.

Growing up family meal times

Growing up family meal times were always the perfect way to unwind and have conversations with the family members. I loved listening to the stories, political matters as well as encouragement shared over meals. My father had his seat at the head of the table and was a stern man, but he was also very good at telling stories. He would tell different stories from his experience at work or his younger years, and each story would end with a punchline that would leave us all laughing regardless of what the story was. Sometimes my mother would give my father a look that would somewhat suggest that he was exaggerating his narrative to make it funny.

My mother's updates

My mother would keep everyone updated on the happenings of family and friends like the daily news bulleting. She also had a segment on entertainment news where she would give us a taste of the exciting parts of information she had heard through the grapevine. She was always aware of the new marriages or babies, upcoming events and latest accomplishments at her place work. Sometimes, I would get scared of doing something wrong because of the stories she shared since she had a way of learning about things like a detective. I would take the opportunity to report myself when I had done something wrong when she was in a good mood rather than letting her find out from other sources.

Talks among siblings

My siblings barely paid attention to what my parents would talk about during meal times and had conversations of their own. My siblings would tease each other and discuss the trending topics in school which were quite interesting especially when I learned something that I did not know. They would also talk about the latest boy band crash, computers, political issues or school drama. I would shift my attention from my parents’ conversation and that of my siblings since I did not want to miss out on the good parts. Talks during meal time were not only fun but gave us an opportunity to bond and become friends as a family.

Progress in family mealtime

Initially, meal time was not always fun, and we would spend about ten minutes at the table. The conversations during meal time would change instantaneously, and there was little interest displayed. My parents would initiate conversations by asking us about our day. We were not as close with my siblings, and we could hardly keep a discussion going. At times all we did was complain about passing the salt at the table. Over time the talks during meal times turned intense and led to discussions and agreements across the table. Sometimes there were heated debates that got personal, and our parents had to exercise their control through grounding.

Building relationships and communication skills

Family mealtime helped build the relationship between my family as well as boost my communication skills. Having a stern father made my siblings, and I make sure that we did not use disrespectful language when talking to our parents or each other. It also provided us with skills on starting conversations and reading body language through our interactions. My family offers a great support system due to the time we shared having long conversations during meal time. Whenever I need to learn more on particular discussion topics, I turn to them for advice as well as do some research on my own. Engaging my family in conversations is always exciting, fun and helpful.

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Family Meal Essay Questions

By bryan washington, essay questions.

These notes were contributed by members of the GradeSaver community. We are thankful for their contributions and encourage you to make your own.

Written by Allan Porree

How does Washington use food and cooking as a central theme and what role does it play in the lives of the characters?

The family bakery is a gathering place and a source of sustenance for the characters. When Cam returns to Houston, he becomes involved in the bakery's operations, which brings him closer to TJ's family. This connection is reinforced through the act of cooking and sharing meals. Food also induces nostalgia and cultural significance. Washington utilizes food to establish bonds between the characters as it reflects their emotional states. For instance, TJ takes Cam to a Korean restaurant from their past. This visit to the restaurant stirs memories with detailed descriptions of the dishes from seolleongtang to pickled radish and kimchi. Additionally, the book vividly describes the sensory experience of cooking such as when characters prepare dishes with care and passion. This creates a sense of comfort and togetherness. Food acts as a medium for both connection and solace throughout the story.

How does the novel examine the complexities of grief and loss through Cam's character and the presence of Kai's ghost?

The novel delves deeply into the emotional impact of loss through Cam's character. Cam is grieving the death of his boyfriend and often sees his ghost. During conversations, Cam struggles with this anguish as it makes it difficult to move on after the loss. For example, the mention of Kai's food preferences such as Mexican food and Japanese cuisine brings up their past. This presence serves as a constant reminder of his source of emotional turmoil. Moreover, the manifestation of Kai's ghost in Cam's life adds a supernatural and symbolic layer to the grief narrative. It signifies how the dead continue to inhabit the living's emotional landscape. Therefore, it highlights the inescapable nature of loss. The novel also portrays Cam's journey of navigating addiction and guilt as he finds a way to heal.

How does the novel depict the theme of self-discovery, especially in the context of Cam and TJ's character development?

Cam's character undergoes a significant transformation throughout the novel. Initially, he is depicted as struggling with addiction, working at the bakery, and resisting change. Through the support of his friends and the bakery, Cam begins to work on himself and become a more responsible individual. Moreover, TJ's interactions with Ian reflect his willingness to step out of his comfort zone and embrace aspects of his identity. As the story progresses, his interactions with Ian become more than just physical encounters. TJ starts to develop an emotional connection with him, which is a departure from his earlier casual encounters. The novel suggests that personal transformation is not an abrupt shift but a gradual and turbulent evolution. In this way, Cam's character personifies the intricacies of the human spirit in the face of misfortune.

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Family Meal Questions and Answers

The Question and Answer section for Family Meal is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.

Study Guide for Family Meal

Family Meal study guide contains a biography of Bryan Washington, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.

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• Family Dinners
• Black Beans

The 5-Ingredient Dinner I Make Every Week for My Family

This affordable meal is ready in just 20 minutes.

Simply Recipes / Kris Osborne

Weeknights are one of the busiest times of the day for our family. When I was a mom of one, I relished making fun and elaborate meals several nights a week. Since having my second, I've had to be more realistic about my expectations. 

With one picky eater in the family and the stress of the post-work and school/daycare rush, I need quick and easy meals that I know will satisfy everyone. That's why these ground chicken and black bean tacos make a regular appearance. The Tex-Mex delight has been on our weekly rotation for over a year, and it still regularly gets enthusiastic thumbs-up from everyone at the table.

An Affordable, Delicious Weeknight Recipe

This beauty was born out of necessity and resourcefulness, as most good recipes are. I was making simple ground chicken tacos when some friends from out of town stopped by for a surprise hello. Wanting to welcome them in for dinner but not having any more chicken left, I dug around in my pantry for something to make it more substantial. I reached for the black beans, added them to the chicken, and have never looked back! 

Now, I prefer this version over just the chicken. For one thing, it really extends the meal. What used to be dinner and enough leftovers for a couple of additional tacos is now a second full meal the next day. Beans are affordable and nourishing, making them an easy yes in my books, and the leveled-up mixture works seamlessly with tacos (and more). 

How To Make My Ground Chicken and Black Bean Tacos

To make 4 to 8 servings (depending on how you’re serving and if you’re making side dishes), you’ll need:

• 1 tablespoon neutral oil
• 1 pound ground chicken 
• 2 tablespoons taco seasoning , plus more as needed to taste
• 1 (15-ounce) can black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 (14.5-ounce) can diced tomatoes
• Fresh lime juice to finish, optional
• Tortillas, for serving

Optional toppings, for serving:

• Grated cheddar or Monterey Jack cheese
• Salsa or Pico de Gallo
• Guacamole or avocado
• Shredded lettuce
• Lime wedges

Heat a large frying pan over medium heat and add the oil. When it starts to shimmer, add the ground chicken and cook, stirring regularly and breaking it up into small pieces, until no longer pink, 5 to 7 minutes. Add 2 tablespoons of taco seasoning and stir until well combined. 

Add the black beans and tomatoes. If the tomatoes and their juices are on the thicker side, fill the tomato can up to about 1/4 full with water and add that as well. Stir to combine. Bring everything to a simmer, cover, and reduce the heat to medium-low, cooking for 10 minutes.

While the chicken cooks, warm or char your tortillas and get your favorite toppings ready. Remove the lid and stir everything. Taste and add more taco seasoning and/or lime juice, if using, to taste. Depending on the brand or recipe of taco seasoning, you may not need any more. Serve hot in tortillas with shredded cheese, salsa, or any other taco fixings of your choice.

Why I Make This Dish Again and Again

It’s a crowd-pleaser! While the taco filling is the star of the show, the real fun lies in the toppings. I like to have a spread of shredded cheese, lettuce or cabbage, pico de gallo or store-bought salsa, guacamole (often store-bought if it's during the week) or sliced avocado, and sour cream. 

To make things even easier, I sometimes make the chicken and bean mixture a day ahead. When I was pregnant with my son, I froze batches of the chicken-only mixture to make postpartum dinners easier. This bean-chicken combo would also freeze well. 

We use the filling for tacos, but it's also great on salads, in burrito bowls, stuffed into bell peppers, loaded onto nachos, tucked inside quesadillas, and even on taco pizza .

3 Easy Substitutions

• You can easily substitute ground chicken for ground turkey, ground beef, sausage, or plant-based alternatives. Depending on what you use, you may need to adjust the amount of taco seasoning to get the flavor just right for your protein of choice.
• Pinto beans have a slightly nuttier, earthier flavor compared to black beans, and they work really well in these tacos. When adding them to the chicken, you can mash up some of the beans to get a creamier texture similar to refried beans.
• Use diced tomatoes with chilies (like the Ro-Tel brand) as an easy way to add heat and a zestier flavor. You may want to reduce the amount of taco seasoning since the diced tomatoes with chilies are already seasoned.

My family of 4 tried Red Lobster's $30 family 'meal deal.' It was tasty but we wouldn't get it again.

• I tried Red Lobster 's family taco meal deal for $30 — it was not enough to feed my family of four.
• Had I not added fries and biscuits, I think my family would've been hungry later that night.
• As far as family-style meal deals from chain restaurants go, this one was not worth the price.

Many chain restaurants, from Panera Bread to IHOP , have been adding family-style meal deals to their menus.

They're generally meant to save families time and money, something I'm especially interested in as a busy mom of two teens.

I was excited to check out the deals from seafood chain Red Lobster since it has family meals ranging from pasta to crab legs on its menu. Plus, with the debt-laden chain reportedly considering filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection earlier this year, I was wondering if its food would be such a great value after all.

So, instead of cooking dinner on Taco Tuesday, I headed to seafood chain Red Lobster to try its family taco meal deal.

Red Lobster's family taco meal deal was easy to order.

Earlier in the afternoon, I ordered the meal on Red Lobster's website and chose 5:30 p.m. pick-up time at a nearby Florida location.

I went with the chicken taco deal for $30 before tax, but the availability and price may depend on your location. I could've also chosen lobster and shrimp ($34) or shrimp ($32).

The meal comes with grilled chicken, six tortillas, jalapeño slaw, pico de gallo, lime crema, cilantro, and a side of tortilla chips. While ordering, I also had the option to add menu items like shrimp skewers and linguine Alfredo for an extra charge.

Although I didn't choose from the suggested add-ons, I did add two orders of fries and a half-dozen Cheddar Bay Biscuits to the order to give it some bulk.

The meal, like most of the ones offered, seemed designed to serve four people, but I was a bit skeptical.

I received a text with instructions before my pick-up time.

Thirty minutes before my scheduled pick-up time, I received a text message from Red Lobster with instructions.

The text said to park in a curbside spot and text "here" to the number to initiate the pick-up process.

The pick-up process was easy enough, although it took longer than I expected.

When my teens and I arrived at Red Lobster, we drove around for a bit before we located the two curbside pick-up parking spots, as the signs were pretty small.

Once we parked, we responded "here" to our text from the restaurant to start the pick-up process.

We waited just over 10 minutes before receiving a reply that our order was ready and someone would bring it out soon.

Shortly after, an employee walked our bag of food to my car and we were on our way home.

I should've known by how light the bag was that I wasn't getting much food.

Even as I was carrying the to-go bag from my trunk to my house, I knew there wasn't much food in it.

This was surprising, as my family and I have been visiting chain restaurants quite a bit lately, from Buffalo Wild Wings to Outback Steakhouse , and have always been a bit overwhelmed by the large portion sizes and amount of leftovers we've gone home with.

The size of our meal seemed really small.

The first thing that struck me about this "family" meal was that there were only six tortillas included.

My family of four aren't huge eaters, but when I saw how few tortillas we got, I opted to eat my taco toppings on a plate so my husband, son, and daughter could each have two tacos for their dinner.

We also finished the grilled chicken fast. It's rare that any member of my family doesn't have leftovers at a chain restaurant and asks if it's OK for them to finish what's left of a dish.

The meal was supposed to come with tortilla chips but it seems ours were left out of the bag. That said, I'm not sure chips would've made much of a difference in terms of filling us up.

That said, the taco meat was delicious and full of flavor.

The grilled chicken included with our Red Lobster family meal was very good, flavorful, and full of a char-grilled taste.

Everyone at my dinner table liked the food a lot — we just wished there had been more of it for the price we paid.

Had I not bulked the meal up with some sides, we'd have all been hungry.

In addition to the $30 cost of this family meal, I spent about $10 adding two sides of fries and a six-piece order of Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay biscuits to our meal.

I was glad I did, as the taco meal itself was nowhere near enough food to feed a family of four .

Overall, I wouldn't trust Red Lobster with my Taco Tuesday again.

Maybe Red Lobster's other meal deals are better, but at close to $45 with tax, the family taco meal deal and sides I ordered didn't feel like a good value to me.

Had I not bulked the tacos up with a few sides, my family wouldn't have had enough to eat that night.

I was especially surprised by the small portions because I recently spent less on Panera Bread's four toasted-baguette family feast , which left us with enough leftovers for lunch the next day.

Plus, there are several other ways I'd prefer to spend $45 on a Taco Tuesday meal. Instead, we could've gotten pretty great taco-night ingredients at the grocery store or ordered a ton of tacos at a fast-food chain like Taco Bell.

As a working family who is choosy about what we spend our dining-out budget on, the experience missed the mark.

This story was originally published on November 17, 2023, and most recently updated on May 6, 2024.

• Main content

Easy Indian Cookbook

13 Chicken Recipes So Good, Your Family Won't Stop Begging For More!

Posted: May 9, 2024 | Last updated: May 9, 2024

Looking to add some excitement to your dinner rotation? See our list of 13 chicken recipes so good, your family won't stop begging for more! From comforting classics to exotic flavors, there's something for everyone in this lineup. These recipes are sure to please even the pickiest eaters!

Chipotle Grilled Chicken

Fire up the grill and get ready for a flavor explosion with Chipotle Grilled Chicken. It's a mouthwatering dish that will have your family begging for more. This chicken is marinated in a smoky sauce and then grilled to perfection for a perfect balance of heat and flavor. Get the Recipe: Chipotle Grilled Chicken

Chicken and Rice Casserole

Wave goodbye to boring weeknight dinners and welcome the goodness of Chicken and Rice Casserole! This dish has tender meat and flavorful vegetables, all baked together for a satisfying meal that will have your family coming back for more. Serve it as a main course or a side dish. Get the Recipe: Chicken and Rice Casserole

Chick-fil-A Nuggets

Craving the deliciousness of Chick-fil-A without the drive-thru line? Look no further than homemade Chick-fil-A Nuggets, a tasty and satisfying dish that's perfect for snack time or mealtime. These crispy nuggets are made with tender chicken, coated in a seasoned breading, then fried to perfection. Get the Recipe: Chick-fil-A Nuggets

Balti Chicken

Take your palate on a trip to India with Balti Chicken. It's a flavorful and aromatic dish that's sure to please even the pickiest eaters. This classic Indian dish has tender chicken cooked in a rich and spicy sauce, with a blend of fragrant spices and herbs. Serve it with rice, naan bread, or with other dishes. Get the Recipe: Balti Chicken

Easy Chicken Tenders

Ditch the frozen chicken tenders and make homemade goodness with Easy Chicken Tenders. It's a simple and delicious dish that's perfect for kids and adults alike. Whether served with your favorite dipping sauce or alongside fries and coleslaw, these are sure to be a hit at any meal. Get the Recipe: Easy Chicken Tenders

Methi Chicken Instant Pot

No more long hours in the kitchen with this quick and easy Methi Chicken Instant Pot. It's a flavorful and satisfying dish that's perfect for busy weeknights. This Indian-inspired dish has tender meat cooked with aromatic spices and a creamy sauce, all made in a fraction of the time thanks to the Instant Pot. Get the Recipe: Methi Chicken Instant Pot

Chicken Korma

Feel as if you're in India with Chicken Korma. It's a rich and creamy dish that's sure to become a family favorite. This classic Indian curry has chicken simmered in a luxurious sauce. Whether served with rice, naan bread, or alongside other Indian dishes, this is a delicious and satisfying option. Get the Recipe: Chicken Korma

Whole Baked BBQ Chicken

Fire up the oven and get ready for a feast with Whole Baked BBQ Chicken. It's a mouthwatering dish that's perfect for family dinners or weekend cookouts. This juicy chicken is rubbed with a flavorful spice blend, coated in barbecue sauce, and baked to perfection for a meal that's sure to wow. Get the Recipe: Whole Baked BBQ Chicken

Chicken Tikka Naanwich

Take your sandwich game to the next level with Chicken Tikka Naanwich. It's a flavorful and satisfying twist on a classic favorite. Whether enjoyed for lunch, dinner, or a quick snack, this is sure to satisfy your cravings and keep you coming back for seconds (even thirds!). Get the Recipe: Chicken Tikka Naanwich

Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken

Wave goodbye to complicated dinners and welcome easy mealtime with Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken. It's a delicious and satisfying dish that practically cooks itself. This simple recipe has meat seasoned with ranch seasoning mix and cooked to perfection in the slow cooker. Get the Recipe: Slow Cooker Ranch Chicken

Panda Express Teriyaki Chicken Recipe

Craving the flavors of your favorite takeout restaurant? Look no further than Panda Express Teriyaki Chicken Recipe. It's a delicious and satisfying dish that's easy to make at home. This flavorful chicken is marinated in a sweet and tangy teriyaki sauce and then stir-fried to perfection. Get the Recipe: Panda Express Teriyaki Chicken Recipe

Creamy Chicken and Corn Pasta

No more boring pasta dishes with the creamy goodness of Creamy Chicken and Corn Pasta. It's a delicious and satisfying meal that's perfect for busy weeknights. This comforting dish features tender meat and creamy sauce, all tossed with your favorite pasta for a meal that's sure to please. Get the Recipe: Creamy Chicken and Corn Pasta

Homemade KFC Zinger Burger

Skip the drive-thru and make your own Homemade KFC Zinger Burger at home. It's a flavorful and satisfying twist on a fast-food favorite. Whether enjoyed for lunch, dinner, or a weekend treat, this homemade version is sure to satisfy your cravings and leave you wanting more. Get the Recipe: Homemade KFC Zinger Burger

The post 13 Chicken Recipes So Good, Your Family Won't Stop Begging For More! appeared first on Easy Indian Cookbook .

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Advertisement

A Timeline of the History Between Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump

Nearly two decades after they met in Nevada, Daniels and Trump met face to face again in a Lower Manhattan courtroom in the first criminal trial against a former United States president.

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By Matthew Haag and Michael Rothfeld

• Published May 7, 2024 Updated May 9, 2024, 5:09 p.m. ET

Nearly two decades after Stormy Daniels and Donald J. Trump met in Nevada, they came face to face again in a Lower Manhattan courtroom, where the first criminal trial against a former United States president is taking place.

Here is a timeline of their history:

Mr. Trump attended the American Century Celebrity Golf Tournament in Lake Tahoe, Nev., where Wicked Pictures, the production company whose adult films Ms. Daniels starred in, had set up a tent.

According to Ms. Daniels, the two met at the event, then met again for dinner and had consensual sex in a hotel room. She said that Mr. Trump told her that she could appear on his reality television show, “The Apprentice.”

Mr. Trump had been married to his current wife, Melania, for about a year. His youngest son, Barron, had been born several months before. There are photos of Mr. Trump and Ms. Daniels at the tournament, but he has denied having sex with her.

January 2007

Ms. Daniels attended a Trump Vodka launch party at Les Deux, a club in Los Angeles.

Ms. Daniels flew to New York City and met Mr. Trump outside his office on the 26th floor of Trump Tower on Fifth Avenue. Later that month, she attended a Miss USA event in Los Angeles with tickets that she said Mr. Trump had set aside at the box office.

A year after the Lake Tahoe golf tournament, Mr. Trump invited Ms. Daniels to his bungalow at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles to discuss her possible appearance on “The Apprentice,” she recalled in a 2018 interview with “60 Minutes.” She never appeared on the show.

Ms. Daniels considered selling her account of sex with Mr. Trump for $15,000 to Bauer Publishing, the publisher of “Life & Style” magazine, The Wall Street Journal reported in March 2018 . Mr. Trump’s personal lawyer, Michael D. Cohen, heard about the possible deal and intervened. Ms. Daniels was not paid.

Ms. Daniels took a polygraph test that supported her account of having had sex with Mr. Trump.

October 2011

A gossip website, The Dirty, reported that Ms. Daniels “had sex with Donald after one of his golfing events.”

Mr. Trump secured the Republican Party’s presidential nomination at the Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

October 2016

After The Washington Post published a recording of Mr. Trump making lewd remarks on the set of “Access Hollywood,” the damage to his campaign gave Ms. Daniels new leverage to sell her story.

Her agent negotiated a deal with the editor of The National Enquirer, but David Pecker, then the tabloid’s publisher, declined to pay.

But Mr. Pecker had agreed to help Mr. Trump suppress bad news, as he testified. So he and Dylan Howard, the editor, tipped off Michael D. Cohen, Mr. Trump’s personal lawyer and fixer. They referred him to Ms. Daniels’s lawyer, Keith Davidson, to negotiate the hush-money deal.

Mr. Davidson and Mr. Cohen then exchanged emails and phone calls about a possible hush-money deal to bury Ms. Daniels’s account. Mr. Howard was also part of the negotiations.

Near the end of the month, Mr. Cohen wired Ms. Daniels $130,000 from a newly formed entity, Essential Consultants.

November 2016

Mr. Trump won the presidential election.

February 2017

The repayment to Mr. Cohen began and continued throughout the year in installments. The payments totaled $420,000, which included a reimbursement for the hush-money deal, a bonus and additional cash for tax considerations.

The Trump Organization recorded the payments as “legal expenses,” citing a legal retainer with Mr. Cohen. Prosecutors say there was no retainer and that recording the payments as “legal expenses” was a falsification of business records — the basis of the criminal charges against Mr. Trump.

January 2018

The Wall Street Journal reported that Ms. Daniels received $130,000 to stay silent about her account of a sexual encounter with Mr. Trump. Mr. Cohen made the payment to her days before the 2016 election.

Ms. Daniels denied having had an affair with Mr. Trump in a statement later in the month. Ms. Daniels later disavowed that statement and said that she felt she had no choice but to sign it.

The F.B.I. executed a search warrant on Mr. Cohen’s Rockefeller Center office and Park Avenue hotel room.

August 2018

Mr. Cohen pleaded guilty in federal court, admitting to having made illegal campaign contributions to support Mr. Trump in 2016, including his payment to Ms. Daniels.

The Manhattan district attorney’s office opened an investigation into the hush-money deals involving Mr. Trump.

Mr. Trump was indicted by a Manhattan grand jury on 34 felony charges of falsifying business records stemming from Ms. Daniels’s hush-money deal.

Ms. Daniels and Mr. Trump met again at a Lower Manhattan courtroom in his criminal trial.

The Links Between Trump and 3 Hush-Money Deals

Here’s how key figures involved in making hush-money payoffs on behalf of Donald J. Trump are connected.

Matthew Haag writes about the intersection of real estate and politics in the New York region. He has been a journalist for two decades. More about Matthew Haag

Michael Rothfeld is an investigative reporter in New York, writing in-depth stories focused on the city’s government, business and personalities. More about Michael Rothfeld

Our Coverage of the Trump Hush-Money Trial

News and Analysis

Donald Trump’s books, including “How To Get Rich,” provided prosecutors with passages they believe can help  their case, as they argue that he knew that his company falsified business records to cover up a hush-money payment to Stormy Daniels.

Prosecutors have argued that Daniels’s efforts to sell her story of a sexual encounter with Trump  supplied the motive for his alleged crimes. Here’s a recap of her testimony so far .

After enthralling jurors with stories of sex and scandal, prosecutors delved into the documents at the heart of the case against Trump .

More on Trump’s Legal Troubles

Key Inquiries: Trump faces several investigations  at both the state and the federal levels, into matters related to his business and political careers.

Case Tracker:  Keep track of the developments in the criminal cases  involving the former president.

What if Trump Is Convicted?: Could he go to prison ? And will any of the proceedings hinder Trump’s presidential campaign? Here is what we know , and what we don’t know .

Trump on Trial Newsletter: Sign up here  to get the latest news and analysis  on the cases in New York, Florida, Georgia and Washington, D.C.