personal essay things in life that bring you joy

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How to Write Brown’s “Brings You Joy” Essay

This article was written based on the information and opinions presented by Shane Niesen and Vinay Bhaskara in a CollegeVine livestream. You can watch the full livestream for more info. 

What’s Covered:

Avoid writing another extracurricular or academic essay, choose a topic that genuinely interests you, make the mundane interesting, be memorable, show improvement and commitment over time.

The third Brown University supplemental essay asks students to respond to the following prompt: 

Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy. (200-250 words)

In this article, we will discuss how to select a strong essay topic, tips for writing a memorable essay, and strategies for choosing a topic that will demonstrate the type of student you will be on campus at Brown.

The Brown University “Joy” essay is in some ways similar to Brown’s extracurricular essay, but with the caveat that this essay is not as formal and can also include things like hobbies or academic subjects. As you explore topics for this essay, avoid repeating information that is already evident in other essays or parts of your application. This means that academic subjects are often not ideal topics for this essay, although you still may choose to include them. 

This essay is mainly a space to talk about an aspect of your life that is important to you or that you’re really interested in but that isn’t highlighted in the rest of your application.

If there is something about yourself that you haven’t expanded on yet in the rest of your application, this essay is a great opportunity to do so. For example, if you are really interested in fashion, tabletop games, painting, or other creative endeavors, this is a great space to bring that up. This essay lends itself particularly well to topics related to the arts or creative pursuits, so if you have something like that that you would like to discuss, this could be a great space to do so.

As you explore topics for this prompt, keep in mind that you should be picking something that genuinely interests you. The goal of this essay is not for you to sound impressive, so avoid topics that you are not actually passionate about, but that you think admissions officers will be impressed by, like, “I am interested in the geopolitical state of the world in solving its problems.” An essay like this will not get you as far as one that focuses on your actual interests.

For this prompt, try selecting a smaller topic that allows you to surprise the reader or help them empathize with you. In your essay, you should not only be describing what the activity is, but also highlighting how you feel when you pursue it.

Consider how your activity, like painting tabletop figurines, for example, brings you joy and contentment. Reflect on your state of mind while doing this activity versus your state of mind going about the world. Is this activity like a retreat for you? If so, this could be a great topic for this supplemental essay.

One tactic to consider when responding to this prompt is to take a mundane activity but then present it in a new and interesting light that makes the admissions officer re-appreciate it. Think creatively about how you spend your time and you may find that you have a unique passion lying within a more common activity or interest.

For example, if you enjoy recreating classical buildings in Minecraft, that could be something that you talk about. The strategy would be to write not just about playing Minecraft, but instead about this specific niche interest that you have in relation to an otherwise common activity. A topic like this can be quite impressive and can allow you to show your passion and convey a narrative arc. Even if the topic is a little unassuming from the outside, you can breathe life into it for the admissions officer, which is another great way to approach this essay.

Another strategy for selecting a topic for this prompt is to “go big” and choose something memorable. This may not apply to all students, but if you have a really unique activity or interest, or something that you have pursued to a high level, this could be a great way to make your essay stand out.

For example, if you were passionate about juggling and ultimately became a juggling performer, that could make a really interesting and memorable essay for an admissions officer to read. When admissions officers discuss your essays and applications, they remember the juggling kid in the back of their mind, and that will actually help you when they’re going back and thinking about filling in gaps in the class.

Being memorable is a great way to get accepted, especially to very selective schools like Brown, and this essay is a good way to do that if you have a unique and significant passion.

The point of this essay is to convey the genuine passion that you bring to your everyday life, and to demonstrate the kind of student you will be on campus. Brown is looking to see what kind of passion you will bring to the school community, and what kind of participant you will be in the extracurriculars at Brown.

As you write this essay, try to show commitment and some kind of improvement over time through your narrative arch. If your essay conveys that you started this activity and got better by continuously pursuing it, this will show admissions officers your genuine interest for and commitment to the activity. On the flip side, if you’re just casually interested in an activity like drawing, but never really felt the drive to improve and you just like to doodle, then you may not have enough content to write about for this particular prompt. 

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How to find what brings you joy and seize it.

Learn to say no to what doesn't light you up and seek out experiences that bring you joy, says Annabel Chown

When I was 13, my mother booked me onto a sailing course in Dorset, with a friend who’d been before. I wasn’t keen, but Mum assured me my friend had loved it, so I would too. It rained all week, and I spent most of my time capsizing my dinghy and missing home.

These days, many of my friends are hooked on wild swimming . Some even break the ice on winter mornings at Hampstead Heath’s Ladies’ Pond or Hyde Park’s Serpentine Lake. I’ve tried joining them, but disliked how pondweed, invisible in the murky water, coiled itself round my legs, and the way the cold settled into my bones for the entire day.

My friends might rave about wild swimming and its benefits, whose potency I don’t doubt. But I’ve found my own ways of enhancing wellbeing that feel pleasurable to me – such as yoga, lifting weights, and walks through London parks.

The younger me was more inclined to follow the crowd, however. In my twenties, even on the Friday nights I longed to relax in an oil bath after a full-on week, I’d accompany friends and workmates to Shoreditch pubs and bars. ‘Don’t be boring,’ they’d say, when, by 10pm, I’d try to head off. ‘Come with us to a club.’ Often, I did. Back then, life seemed infinitely long.

But a breast cancer diagnosis at 31 woke me up to just how short life can be. Time felt precious, and investing it in what made my heart sing, important. Now, 20 years later, it still is.

I ask Sophie Cliff , a coach and positive psychology practitioner, and author of the book Choose Joy, whether joy has benefits beyond making us feel good in the moment. She explains how negative emotions, such as anxiety, trigger our flight or fight response and bring us into survival mode, which narrows our thinking. Positive ones such as joy, however, have the opposite effect.

‘Joy broadens our mental capacity,’ she says. ‘Our thinking becomes more creative, we connect better with others, and so our relationships improve. We’re more relaxed. And we’re inclined to take better care of ourselves.

‘It creates a positive upward spiral,’ she adds, ‘whereby joy builds joy. The research has also repeatedly shown it’s a protective factor against burnout.’

But it’s not always easy to even know what brings us joy. We might spend life rushing between work and looking after our family, leaving no obvious windows in which to uncover our own unique flavours of it. Perhaps we believe it’s an indulgence we don’t deserve. Or we might be overwhelmed by the noise of social media, celebrities and friends recommending their favourite books, Netflix shows, hobbies, and holiday destinations. Noise that can drown out the yearnings of that still, small voice within.

Years ago, I took up hot yoga after reading an article about it accompanied by a photo of a radiant Jerry Hall sitting in lotus pose. I didn’t enjoy the class or the stale-sweat scented room. But, inspired by that photo, I persisted for months. It was only after the heat caused my face to break out in acne that I finally listened to what my body and heart had known all along.

Cliff recommends we start by noticing what already feels good. ‘Is there a favourite part of your day or week? When you do something enjoyable, however small, write it down, so you start to build an awareness of what lights you up. It can also be helpful to remember what you loved as a child; kids are very intuitive. Maybe it was arts and crafts, and now might be the time to try life drawing.’

I ask Cliff how long it’s worth trying something for, so we strike a balance between giving it a chance, yet not investing too much time in the wrong thing, as I did with the hot yoga.

‘If you’ve tried a class, say, five times, and it still doesn’t feel good, perhaps call it a day. We can too easily forget the inherent value of pleasure and insist on gritting our teeth and pushing through. But always take clues from the experience: for example, if you tried yoga and didn’t enjoy the poses but loved the chanting, you might decide that joining a local choir suits you better.’

As the poet Mary Oliver wrote, ‘Joy is not made to be a crumb.’ Yet it can too easily slip to the bottom of our list, relegated to some mythical time-rich future. How do we create that time in the here and now?

‘Start really small,’ Cliff suggests. ‘Diarise one hour a week you set aside for pleasure. And if you’re not sure what to do, tune in and listen to what your body and mind crave. Is it a run? To lie on the grass and feel the sun on your skin? To call a friend? It’s so important to learn to trust our instincts.’

Introducing the Psychologies ‘Balance Your Life’ Journal

I’ve become increasingly well-versed in trusting mine, along with doing my best to carve out time for what lifts my spirits: an early evening solo movie date, while my husband puts our son to bed; a few minutes of meditation first thing; a flat white and almond croissant in a favourite café.

I’m also able to be honest with my husband about my likes and dislikes, inspired in part by his own innate directness. On a recent holiday to Puglia, he told me he found the beach – which I love – very boring. So we spent mornings apart. While he explored local towns with his camera, I reclined on a lounger, savouring a novel and the sound of the sea.

But with friends, I still sometimes find it hard to say no when I don’t want to do something, reluctant to be viewed as selfish or difficult.

‘While the desire to fit in and be liked is very human,’ Cliff says, ‘and we fear being judged if we don’t go along with what others want, we also have to ask what’s scarier: being judged, or letting ourselves down? Do you want to get to the end of your life and think, I didn’t make time for what really mattered to me, because I was too busy saying yes to everyone else?’

‘And explain your why,’ she adds. ‘That way, people are more likely to be understanding in the future.’

I’m practising being more honest with friends, as well as trying to find a middle ground where we can both be happy. Recently, a newish friend wanted to go out for dinner. I explained I’m being mindful about my spending, and asked if she was up for a walk instead. On a warm Sunday evening, we strolled through the fragrant Rose Gardens in London’s Regent’s Park, chatting away.

So how will you seize joy this summer? Do you crave the clatter of glasses and friends’ laughter on a pub pavement at dusk? To wake early and stand barefoot on dewy grass, cup of steaming tea in hand, listening to the birdsong?

To visit a beautiful English garden accompanied by a picnic hamper? Dance the night away in the magical playground of a festival? To amble around a balmy city, enjoying its food and architecture? Summer is short, the possibilities infinite. All that matters is that you say yes to whatever infuses your unique soul with joy.

More inspiration: Imagery meditation: how to visualise happiness

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50 Things that bring us joy

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Life gets messy and busy and tiring, yes – but life is also beautiful and momentous and joyous and bright. We often let the little things get us down, which is why it is so important to note all the simple things in life that bring us joy.

So, with that in mind, here are 50 things that can bring us joy in life. There are so many more…Perhaps you can write a list of your own and you’ll become aware of all the things you can be grateful for.

• Hearing a song you associate with your childhood.
• Having that first sip of coffee in the morning.
• Finishing a good book.
• Being in a warm bed when it is pouring rain.
• Having someone say to you ‘let me know when you’re home safe.’
• Meeting someone who has the same music taste as you.
• Trying on that piece of clothing and it fits just right.
• A dog running straight to you in a crowded room.
• The smell of freshly cut grass.
• Blue skies.
• Meeting a friend for the first time in ages.
• The feeling of sun on your skin.
• Family dinners around the table.
• Discovering a new café.
• Aesthetic photographs.
• Finding likeminded people.
• Realising you’re living the moment you’ve been dreaming about for so long.
• Completing your to do list on time.
• Creating something with your own hands.
• Finding an old photo album of memories.
• Taking a moment to be thankful of the present.
• Realising all that you’ve overcome to be where you are today.
• Motivating others.
• Seeing others reach for their dreams.
• Belly laughs with your friends and family.
• When your cheeks hurt from smiling.
• Cozy nights by the fire.
• Strangers smiling at you when you cross the road.
• Bursting into song.
• Having a spontaneous dance party.
• Cooking in the kitchen in the early hours of the morning.
• When someone says they were thinking of you.
• When someone sends you something because it reminded them of you.
• That person who still listens to what you’re saying even when everyone else has stopped.
• When something arrives in the post on time.
• Booking that holiday.
• Watching a plant grow.
• Meeting someone who has the same favourite movie as you and talking about it for hours.
• Long evenings.
• Screaming to a song in the car.
• Arriving home after a long day.
• Your favourite dinner.
• That feeling when the person you’ve been thinking of messages you back.
• Sentimental gifts.
• Handmade cards.
• Late night conversations with friends.
• The realisation that the bad times don’t last and everything works out in the end.

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JOY! Not just a character in Inside Out, but a supplement essay too!

Increasingly, schools are asking students to reflect on things that bring them joy, satisfaction, or happiness. These can be difficult to write as often the college application process is the opposite of joyful... but these joy essays are here to stay!

Note: These essays tend to range in length from 50-250 words.

Example "Joy" Questions:

• Brown: Brown students care deeply about their work and the world around them. Students find contentment, satisfaction, and meaning in daily interactions and major discoveries. Whether big or small, mundane or spectacular, tell us about something that brings you joy.  
• Dartmouth: What excites you?
• MIT: We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do simply for the pleasure of it.  
• Princeton: What brings you joy?
• Stanford: Tell us about something that is meaningful to you, and why?
• Yale: Reflect on something that has given you great satisfaction. Why has it been important to you?

LET'S BREAK DOWN THE ESSENTIAL POINTS YOU NEED TO HIT WHEN RESPONDING TO THIS SUPPLEMENT:

As with all supplements, every word matters here! Do not waste words in restating the question or equivocating around a definition of “joy” or “satisfaction."

Be honest! This is a space where the tendency to tell an untruth or exaggerate is probably quite strong (i.e. wanting to write about the joy you find in titrating a solution properly in your AP Chem class). These questions do not need an academic response – they do need an honest response. Think about your days – examine the moments when you are happy and feel joyful – write about those!

Help your reader SEE your joy as much as possible! If you are writing about the joy that comes from baking cakes, riding your bike around your town, or playing LEGOs with your younger brother, use descriptive language to help your reader really feel present in the moment with you. Your reader will believe your joy if you can capture it effectively and clearly! These are essays where it is so important to SHOW not tell.

Find a unique angle or approach, which often can be found deep into the specifics of your topic! Sure they might read a lot of essays about baking, so think about what you can say that is unique to you. Do you love eating what you have made? Sharing your desserts with others? Experimenting with new flavors and combinations? Your specificity will help to provide your essay with a uniqueness that is all your own.

While not every question asks it explicitly, the WHY is essential here. This essay is a great opportunity for reflection and vulnerability. Take a moment to consider why this activity or object brings you so much joy, and then dig in to share that with the school.

THINGS TO AVOID:

Cliche! Avoid all trite and cliched statements like how you love biking around town because you love the feeling of the wind in your hair… again, honesty and specificity should help you to avoid cliches.

Do not skip over your WHY: simply writing an essay about something that brings joy without diving into any specifics about why that thing brings you joy is missing an opportunity to reflect. Think of your supplements as a chance to share your ability to think deeply and don’t miss an opportunity to do so.

ADDITIONAL TIPS AND TRICKS:

Look over the rest of your supplements and consider the topics that they cover. Is something missing that is essential to understanding YOU? Think about all of the things you want a college to learn about you and who you really are – and then consider what is already covered in your essays. Use this essay to go into a fully new direction to share a side of yourself that has not yet been seen.

While the questions are slightly different for each of these schools (and the word counts vary), the essence of these questions are the same. Feel free to write one joy essay and then adapt the topic to the specifics for a different school. Just because one school asks about “joy” and another about “great satisfaction” does not mean that you need to find a new topic for each one of those.

Give yourself permission to play with this type of question. This is likely one of your only opportunities to set academics aside and really speak from your heart. Use it.

Elise holds a BA in Political Philosophy from Williams College and an MEd in Administration & Social Policy from Harvard. She has spent the past twenty years working in top-tier independent schools.

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Annie Wright, LMFT

Licensed psychotherapist serving individuals, couples, and families from the Bay Area and beyond.

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Dec 12, 2021, how do i know what brings me joy.

The tagline of my business – of my work in the world – is this:

Helping those who didn’t have good childhoods finally have wonderful adulthood.

In many prior essays , I speak to elements about what having a wonderful adulthood actually means and how we can begin to work toward it.

And today I want to build on those essays by talking about what I personally think another very important part of adulthood and relational trauma recovery work entails: cultivating more joy in your life.

But/and, I also and specifically want to talk about how hard it can feel for those who come from relational trauma backgrounds to even remotely know what brings them joy if they didn’t experience joy in their childhood and/or if they have a hard time connecting to their bodies.

If this is you – if the idea of what brings you joy mystifies you and you have no clue what this might mean or how to bring more of it into your life but you’re curious and eager to do so – please keep reading.

What is joy?

Joy. Sounds so simple, doesn’t it? But what actually is joy?

Merriam-Webster defines joy as a noun as:

• A : the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires : DELIGHT

B : the expression or exhibition of such emotion : GAIETY

• a state of happiness or felicity: BLISS
• a source or cause of delight

And the definition of joy as a verb is:

• : to experience great pleasure or delight: REJOICE

From any angle, from whatever definition you choose, joy, quite frankly, feels GOOD.

Why is joy important?

Why is joy so important? 

Aside from the fact that it feels good (see the above definitions), joy is one of the keys on the emotional keyboard of life we can and should be able to access in order to proverbially play the richest and most enlivened emotional music possible. 

What do I mean by this?

If you imagine a piano keyboard and all its attendant, beautiful black and ivory keys, you can imagine that each key represents an emotion that we experience in our human lives: sadness, lust, grief, horror, anger, peace, contentment, pride, impatience, love, devotion, and so forth.

With the emotional keyboard of life, the goal is not to learn and be able to play only a few keys.

The goal is, instead, to learn how to play the richest piece of music possible by developing your capacity to feel and appropriately express each of the proverbial keys on this keyboard.

And joy is one of these keys.

And it is, quite frankly, a really delightful and delicious one to feel!

I would also argue that, for those who come from relational trauma backgrounds, it becomes even more important for you to learn how to “play this key” so to speak.

Because so often when we come from relational trauma backgrounds the general overtone of our lives can be dominated by notes and themes of hardness, heaviness, suffering, fear, lack, challenge, and survival. 

After so much time playing these particular keys on the keyboard and having missed out on the joy all children are entitled to early in life, we then owe it to ourselves as adults to learn how to play this proverbial key and to intentionally play it more often in the music of our days.

How do I know what brings me joy?

But how do you know what brings you joy if you had a childhood deprived of joy?

And even if you don’t come from a relational trauma background, how do you begin to feel joy when you are, quite frankly, utterly exhausted, burned out, and totally depleted given the stress, overwhelm, and responsibilities of your days?

To the latter, I would say this: it is very, very hard to feel what brings you joy when you are burned out. 

So your first order of business is to rest deeply and recover from burnout and come back to a psychological and physiological baseline. 

Only then will you be able to better feel what brings you joy.

And to those who identify with coming from a relational trauma background, our work to discover what brings us joy is two-fold:

• We must become more embodied; and…
• We must expose ourselves to more activities, experiences, and situations to see what signals joy in our bodies.

Using your body to discover what brings you joy.

I want to honor and acknowledge that, for those of us who come from relational trauma backgrounds, in order to survive our early childhoods, many of us may have learned to disconnect from our bodies — the place where we felt so many overwhelming and sometimes devastating feelings.

And so, as we ask the question – What brings me joy? – we also need to learn how to gently, slowly, attentively begin to befriend our bodies again, tracking them for the sensations that indicate we are responding to something that it is bringing us joy.

We may need to learn to become embodied again in order to figure out what brings us joy.

This may sound like a tall and overwhelming task, but it doesn’t have to be. 

We can take teeny tiny baby steps to help you befriend your body again and track down the somatic sensations of what brings you joy.

You can start to pay attention to your breath ( In and out, In and out… ), to the sensations of warmth and coolness in your body ( Am I cold right now? Do I need socks? Am I too warm? Do I need to turn the AC on? ), to the sensations of your bowels and digestive tract ( Do I need to pee or poop? Am I hungry? Am I thirsty? ).

These questions and invitations may seem small and obvious but if you’ve spent your life divorced from your body, beginning with basic biological questions and tracking like this can help you begin to be more embodied and increase your awareness about how certain situations and experiences evoke different sensations inside of your body.

And please know: this can take time and there is not one single way that joy looks and feels for us all. 

It’s subjective and unique so you will need to be your own detective to determine how and what joy feels like for you. 

Joy can be big and obvious and grand, but it can also feel the teeniest, tiniest whisper, a faint trace of something that feels like a pulling-towards. 

I think about that bathtub scene from Eat, Pray, Love when Julia Roberts (playing the extraordinary Elizabeth Gilbert) is sitting with her Italian dictionary, letting the words roll around in her mouth, acknowledging that the only thing she could feel anything for (in the wake of her terrible divorce) was for the Italian language and how it felt in her mouth. 

And so she moved toward this thing, this felt sense of something good, no matter how slight it was. And her journey thus unfolded…

For me, I’ve learned through tracking my somatic sensations over time that joy feels like a sense of buoyancy inside of me – like a wide, soft balloon inflating inside my chest and core that makes me feel lighter that also evokes some ephemeral sense of nostalgia in me, recalling a felt sense of a time in my life where possibilities and paths felt more expansive, freer, more limitless. And so now I move towards that feeling.

But again, before I could even understand what evokes joy for me, I had to become embodied again. 

Only then could I register when something brought me joy. 

So after becoming more embodied and more familiar with the subtle sensations in your own body, you can then discover what brings you more joy by exposing yourself to more situations, activities, circumstances, and places that will allow you to track how they make you feel.

But how do we do this?

How do we expose ourselves to potential joy-inducing activities?

For many of my readers and clients who come from relational trauma backgrounds, as children, they may not have been exposed to a wide range of activities, hobbies, and circumstances that would have helped them identify what brings them joy. 

So one of my favorite homework assignments for clients and online course students is this:

Start exposing yourself to a wide variety of activities and interests like you might with a small child to help them discover the world and their interests.

I’ll share a story: Before having my daughter, my life was really quite dominated by work – grad school, accumulating my hours for my license, blogging, laying the groundwork to open up a trauma-informed therapy center, steeping myself in post-graduate trauma training, etc.

I’m embarrassed to admit my days and weeks were pretty single note: work, work, work. 

Now, please understand, I adore my work and feel like it’s a calling and not just a job. 

So on the one hand, I loved what I was doing but I can also see now that I was doing a pretty poor job of giving myself adventures, variety, and stimulation in the form of new experiences, something which my inner child really craved.

But then, in 2018, along came my daughter, and my world fundamentally changed. 

Life centers around her now, not my work.

And as she grew from an infant to a baby to a toddler, my desire to give her a rich, interesting, and magical childhood grew and grew and so did my desire to proactively seek out activities, experiences, and circumstances that could expose her to this wide, great world. 

I proactively spend time crowdsourcing recommendations from fellow Bay Area toddler parents of places to go and things to do. 

I book tickets to special events, outdoor museums, one-off shows, and we tour playgrounds all over the Bay. 

I make sure to introduce her to different cuisines, different vistas, different types of music and books, and art supplies. 

I intentionally cultivate and create opportunities for her to experience newness and potentially discover her new favorite things.

Parenting my daughter so intentionally has helped me experience more adventures in my own weeks, but has also catalyzed me to think more deliberately about how to give myself the adult equivalent of what I give her: new experiences, diverse activities, little adventures so that I can have the chance to register joy in my body more.  

So if you, like so many of us who come from relational trauma backgrounds, have a hard time discovering what brings you joy, focus on becoming more embodied as a first step, but then try giving yourself what a good-enough parent would give to their growing child: a diverse array of activities, experiences, and adventures to see what in this big, beautiful world can evoke joy in your body.

And then double down on what you notice does bring you joy. 

Do this again and again so you can play that keyboard key as often as possible to make your days and weeks feel better.

What’s bringing me joy these days…

And now, to wrap up this essay, I want to share what’s personally bringing me joy these days – allowing me to register that delicious somatic sensation in my body:

• Watching (and re-watching) the incredible TV show Ted Lasso and then talking about it with my husband and best girlfriends after new shows come out on Fridays (digesting it with my loved ones is more fun than the show for me!).
• Listening to Glennon Doyle’s terrific podcast We Can Do Hard Things twice a week when it comes out.
• 90’s music bike rides and runs on Peloton – 90’s were the time I came of age and every song from that era is super nostalgic for me (ditto the Disney-themed rides and runs on Peloton!). 
• The Christmas tree whose every square inch is covered by ornaments and whose size is taking up a good third of our teeny tiny living room; also the nutcrackers on our mantel, the red and white striped stockings hung, and Christmas music playlists on Spotify.
• Balsam fir scented candles burned for no special reason, just because. 
• Wearing blouses with pretty little colorful prints.
• Making my daughter’s daily preschool lunches in her Planet Rover bento lunch box – it is so little and cute and feels both like I’m making miniature meals for a doll and it reminds me of the time my husband and I visited Japan and I became obsessed with the ekiben on the bullet trains…
• Listening to cello music while sitting in my hot tub in the afternoon sun…
• And finally, this past Spring in Yosemite, feeling profoundly joyful riding a rented bike with an attached trailer with my daughter sitting in it, feeling the strength of my Peloton-trained muscles as I drove us both all over the valley…

And now I’d love to hear from you in the comments below:

What is bringing YOU joy these days? What experiences, circumstances, places, and things make you feel joyful? And another question: How – as an adult – did you begin to notice and re-discover what brings you joy?

If you feel so inclined, please leave a comment below so our monthly blog readership of 20,000+ souls can benefit from your wisdom and experience.

If you would personally like support around this and you live in California or Florida , please feel free to reach out to me directly to explore therapy together.

If you live outside of these states, please consider enrolling in the waitlist for the Relational Trauma Recovery School – or my signature online course, Hard Families, Good Boundaries , designed to support you in healing your adverse early beginnings and create a beautiful adulthood for yourself, no matter where you started out in life.

And until next time, please take such good care of yourself. You’re so worth it.

Warmly, Annie

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Reader Interactions

Leave a comment cancel reply, your email address will not be published..

December 13, 2021 at 4:56 am

Being “embodied” is truly a new thing for me… and a blessing. My past self soothed with lengthy introspective periods which would sometimes lead me down torment lane. Sometimes depression would lead to nap a lot. As a single mom of 3, I am incredibly busy and thus have to fight to get time away to see what brings me joy. What I find frustrating is that because of my childhood, I doubt myself and what I think brings me joy so it is hard to settle on many things. If I am confident, I can arrive at a few things. If I am lacking confidence, I can only think of a couple things (coffee and being in the Lord’s presence).

December 20, 2021 at 5:57 pm

Thank you for your comment and for your insight. It’s true, finding our joy can take a little time and in our busy lives it can sometimes feel like a luxury to slow down and explore what truly brings us joy. I commend you for already having 2 things on your list and urge you to trust yourself to add to that list!

If either of my courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you, I would love to support you there. In the meantime, please take such good care of yourself. You’re so worth it.

December 13, 2021 at 5:58 pm

Your blog posts have helped me navigate the past two years, Annie. Thanks for sharing your wisdom here. I find joy in listening to the Spilled Milk (food comedy) podcast, taking walks by any body of water, grocery shopping, cuddling with my stuffed animal. It’s taken a long time to admit what brings me joy – I’ve feared that what brings me joy wouldn’t be accepted by my peers, especially the stuffed animal part. With the support of a kind spouse, I’ve leaned into it a lot more and am that much happier for it. Cheers to you and your team this holiday season!

December 20, 2021 at 5:58 pm

Thank you for taking the time to leave this lovely comment! I am thrilled to hear that my words have helped you as being a source of support is really my goal in all of my work. Joy is very personal and I am proud of you for leaning into exactly what makes you happy. I’m glad you have the support of a kind spouse, that is wonderful to hear.

If you feel that either of my online courses – Hard Families, Good Boundaries , or the forthcoming Relational Trauma Recovery School – could be of support to you, I’d love to work with you there and help you find even more joy.

Sending my best to you.

December 14, 2021 at 7:24 pm

I really like this newsletter about joy and it fits the season. Anything that makes you happy and content is JOY to me. Children and especially grandchildren are a big joy. Believe it or not my job brings me joy. I work with the elderly population and it does bring me happiness and joy. Make your own joy if you can. And yes simple things like burning of candles especially at this time of year. So many beautiful fragrances. Candles lit at night in the house is joy to me.

December 20, 2021 at 4:49 pm

Thank you for your comment, I’m so pleased that you enjoyed the newsletter! I appreciate your sharing some wonderful examples of what brings you joy, I’m sure many of us can relate. I appreciate the idea of making your own joy when possible, even if it’s something simple like a beautiful candle.

Thanks again for reading and sharing your experience.

August 14, 2023 at 4:17 pm

I have been lost for the longest time but after reading this, I feel like I know where to start. I need to reconnect with myself and find out what brings me joy. Thank you so much for this.

Do you come from a relational trauma background?

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100 Small Things That Can Bring You Joy

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We all want to be happy. It's a desire as universal as our want for water, food, and fresh air.

But happiness is a difficult thing to measure. It's a spectrum — not an absolute. There's a whole science behind our happiness levels, why they fluctuate, and what we can do to boost them.

Ironically, too much time and thought spent in the pursuit of happiness has been found to actually decrease a person's overall happiness. So it's fortuitous that scientists have identified a countless number of small, conscious steps a person can take to elevate their mood with minimal effort. (See also: 29 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Happier This Year )

So what have you got to lose? Check out our list of 100 small things you can do to bring more joy into your life. The sooner you get started, the better you'll feel.

1. Talk to a Stranger

Smile, or better yet, strike up a conversation with a stranger in line at Starbucks or during your morning commute. Behavioral scientists say initiating positive interactions with people whose gazes we might otherwise avoid evokes higher happiness levels in both parties. It's a guaranteed win-win.

2. Send Snail Mail to a Friend

What's better than opening the mailbox to find an unexpected hand-written note from a friend, just because? This small act of love and friendship pays off two-fold, for you, too, get to experience a burst of joy knowing you've brightened the day of your letter's recipient. A simple envelope-sealed note will suffice, but feel free to let your imagination run wild with small gifts, puzzle cards, and other personal ideas.

3. Watch the Sun Rise

It happens 365 days a year. But how often do you make a point of seeing it? Watching the sun rise is actually an ancient method of healing . And there are numerous other benefits, like enjoying a beautiful show of color and light, and having quiet moments of stillness and reflection.

4. Go to the Theater

Behind sex and exercise , people are happiest at the theater. That's the takeaway of a British study on activities that bring people the most glee. Time to scout out tickets for Shakespeare in the park or your favorite Broadway musical.

5. Volunteer

In helping others, you also help yourself. That's because altruism is proven to boost happiness . So spend some time volunteering for a community, charity, or religious organization. The more often you give back, the more self-satisfaction you'll receive. Volunteering will also help you live longer, according to some studies.

6. Exercise

A shot of endorphins to the brain will make you feel oh-so-good . And one of the best ways of getting this boost is with exercise. So pick your poison — running, soccer, ice skating, a long walk in the woods. Get moving and get instant satisfaction.

7. Power Down Your Gadgets

Sure, technology has its benefits, but it's also making us sick. Literally. Stress, depression, and vision impairment are just a few of the negative consequences of spending too much time on our phones, tablets, and computers. Luckily, there's a simple fix: power down. Unplug. After work, on weekends — whenever you can. By disconnecting from email, text messaging, and social media, you can actually increase your connectivity to the people around you. And you'll feel a heck of a lot better while you're at it.

8. Go Shopping

Retail therapy isn't just a buzz phrase invented to help women feel better about over-spending on shoes. There's real science behind it. A study published in 2011 found that treating yourself to a shopping trip is an effective way to elevate your mood . It doesn't have to be a big-time shopping spree, either. Allowing yourself to indulge in even the smallest of purchases can have just as strong of a mood enhancing effect.

9. Try Something New

People who participate in bold, new activities and collect unique experiences are more likely to retain more positive memories than negative ones. The more positive memories we keep, the lighter we become. So go ahead and sign up for those guitar lessons. Book that trip to Antigua. Do it in the name of happiness.

10. Have More Sex Than Your Friends

Sex makes us happy. And studies show that having more sex than our friends makes us even happier. So cue up the Marvin Gaye, and don't be bashful about letting your pals know just how often you're getting it.

11. Spend Time With Your Favorite Canine

Spending time with man's best friend is a fool-proof happiness booster. Not only do dogs improve our happiness, they have also been found to alleviate loneliness and improve our overall health. Dog owners have been known to have lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels, too.

12. Practice Forgiveness

By offering someone our forgiveness — no matter how grave the offense — we let go of the hurt and anger that person stirred in us, thereby creating more space for happier emotions. On our journey to collect joy from our everyday surroundings, we must also dispose of any residual negativity. Saying, "I forgive you," is a great start.

13. Create Something Artistic

Creativity breeds happiness . Painting, sculpting, jewelry making, and music writing are all examples of activities we can engage in to work our creative muscle, thereby inviting into our lives more happiness.

14. Keep a Journal

Believe it or not, you can write your way to happiness . Penning your feelings helps your brain process and expunge the negatives ones, leaving you more joyful.

15. Get a Houseplant

You can elevate your mood simply by surrounding yourself with nature — even the potted kind. Plants will also improve indoor air quality. The more time you spend around leafy, green things, the better you're apt to feel.

16. Give Thanks

Grateful people are more likely to be happy and optimistic. So don't save it all for Thanksgiving. Make a habit of showing gratitude for the circumstances and people around you.

17. Breathe Deeply

Taking deep, slow breaths on a regular basis can help you relax. Breathing deeply also prevents disease, slows the aging process, and increases happiness.

18. Meditate

The ancient practice of meditation is proven to make you happier, more focused, and more even-keeled. Researchers say it can even make you nicer.

Dancing on a regular basis can improve your mood and boost your overall mental health and well-being. It can also relieve back and neck pain, stress, and anxiety. Plus, it's fun! So go on — shake your groove thing!

20. Do Some Spring Cleaning

Ornamenting our homes with art we love and objects of meaning can create a happiness-inducing space . But the extra clutter we accumulate over the years can be counterproductive, leaving us feeling disorganized and claustrophobic. It'll serve you well to clear out those unwanted belongings as they accumulate.

21. Take a 30-Minute Walk

A brisk walk is one of the best exercises for you. And it only takes 20 minutes for your brain to start releasing endorphins and dopamine — those feel-good hormones that make you happy.

22. Go Outside

People are happiest in nature. No shopping mall, amusement park, or museum can compete with the positive effect the rugged wilderness has on our mood . It doesn't need to be a world-class beach or awe-inspiring canyon, either. The neighborhood park is natural enough to do the trick.

23. Join a Team

Participating in a team sport or activity , or even a group project at work, gives us a deepened sense of self-worth, purpose, and meaning.

25. Do a Good Deed

The reward is two-fold: Random acts of kindness make us feel good as well as the recipients of our good deed. Pay for the next order before you drive away from the Dunkin' Donuts drive-thru. Tape a scratch-off lottery ticket to the gas pump. Get creative and reap the rewards.

26. Get a Good Night's Rest

Getting 8 hours of quality shut-eye is linked to increased happiness. A good night's slumber also sharpens our focus during the day. If you want to boost your productivity, don't skimp on your sleep.

27. Make a Gigantic To-Do List

Making a big, long to-do list might seem daunting. All those unfinished tasks staring you in the face. But research has found that we get a buzz of accomplishment and satisfaction each time we cross an item off the list — no matter how big or small the task.

28. Stop and Smell the Roses

Good smells such as floral scents can actually make you happier. So poke your nose down and smell the tulips blooming . Or, if it's the dead of winter, spend some time around a floral scented candle.

29. Read a Novel

Letting your mind escape into a fantasy realm for awhile can actually boost your happiness. So open up a good book and don't be afraid to let your imagination run away with it.

30. Light a Candle

Candlelight can have a calming effect and help reduce stress. It can also increase self-awareness. Spending a few minutes in solitude with even a single flickering flame can be a soothing experience. Candles scented in lavender or ylang-ylang further enhance the stress-reducing effects of quiet time spent in candlelight.

31. Go to the Museum

Museums are places where stories are told, traditions are challenged, minds expand, and beauty is everywhere to behold. And, according to many schools of thought, all those things are good for our well-being .

They say laughter is the best medicine, and in many ways it's true. Studies show that a dose of hearty laughter can boost your immune system as well as your heart rate, giving you a natural high similar to the one you feel after a great workout.

33. Sing Your Heart Out

Singing, particularly in a choir, gives the body a shot of endorphins and dopamine — the same hormones that produce the "runner's high" people feel after pounding out a few miles on the pavement. But a singer's high comes with all sorts of added benefits — stress reduction, pain alleviation, and an overall feeling of contentment.

34. Organize Your Bedroom

Rid your world of clutter and breathe a sigh of relief. A tidy living space boosts happiness, promotes productivity, and enhances peace of mind.

35. Get Some Fresh Air

Time spent in nature recharges and invigorates us . It reminds us to dream bigger. Live louder. The more time we spend in forests and on mountain peaks, the happier we become. Not only does Mother Nature bring us joy, she also gives us energy.

Smile like you mean it . Even if you don't, studies show that the act of turning the corners of your mouth up will make you feel better. That's because a smile — even a forced one — decreases stress.

37. Take a Yoga Class

Studies show that yogis score high on the happiness index . So go get your downward dog on and find your bliss.

38. Surround Yourself With the Color Blue

Just being in the presence of the color of water and sky can boost confidence, reduce stress, and bolster happiness .

39. Soak Up the Sun

Sunshine gives us a natural boost of serotonin, the hormone that makes us happy . A healthy dose of UV rays can also boost fertility and help prevent multiple sclerosis, diabetes, seasonal affective disorder, and cavities.

Do it not once, but three, four, five times in a row. Force out a few big, long ones even if you're feeling fully energized and alert. Yawning can improve your memory and lower stress , neuroscientists say. Think of it as wiping away the clutter in your brain and giving yourself a clean slate.

41. Take a Power Nap

Boost your happiness with a daily 30-minute power nap. Not only will you wake up in a lighter mood , you'll also help kick-start your metabolism and rev up your sex drive.

42. Eat Breakfast

No, a cup of on-the-go joe doesn't count. Do yourself a favor and cook up some eggs with a side of toast and fruit. People who eat breakfast tend to be leaner , more energized, and all-around healthier than those who don't.

43. Reflect on Your Daily Accomplishments

Celebrate your daily victories no matter how small. Maybe it's following through on that three-mile morning run. Or standing up for yourself in a difficult workplace situation. Or remembering to call your mother. Reflect on all you've accomplished at the end of each day and bask in that well-earned sense of satisfaction.

44. Take Pride in Your Appearance

When you look good, you feel good. So take the time each morning to make yourself look — and feel — presentable. It's not about an buying an expensive new dress shirt or covering up those frown lines with makeup. It's about doing what you need to do to feel fresh-faced and confident.

45. Log Off Facebook

Perhaps the wisest of all Theodore Roosevelt's sayings was this: "Comparison is the thief of joy." In this modern world saturated with social media outlets, the former president's words ring truer than ever. The more time you spend reading so-and-so's relationship status updates or clicking through photo albums of somebody else's trip around the world, the more time you're spending zeroed in on the things other people have, or appear to have, that you don't.

46. Let Your Imagination Run Wild

If you want a happier existence, imagine it and it will be. Scientists have found that if we visualize ourselves in a happy state we can actualize happiness .

47. Sit Up Straight

A commitment to good posture will keep you energized and create more room in your diaphragm for deeper breathing. It can also make you feel better. People with good posture give off an air of ease and confidence that actually bolsters their own self-perception.

48. Practice Positive Affirmations

Start each day with a chant of your choosing — "I can," "I eat healthy and exercise regularly," "I am successful." People who embrace the power of positive thinking are more apt to achieve their goals. And — added bonus — they actually have stronger muscles .

49. Give Back to Your Community

Plant flowers in a public park. Pick up litter on the beach. However you choose to give back, the rewards are ten-fold. Volunteering in your local community has been proven to boost self-esteem, fend off depression , and enhance health and fitness.

50. Savor Good Memories

Our brains tend to latch on to negative memories and let go of the good ones. Scientists say the more positive memories we have, the more positive our outlook on life and the world around us. We can help our brains collect and keep more good memories by taking time to savor the positive experiences and emotions from each day before we go to bed each night.

51. Be an Optimist

A positive outlook on life is an important predictor of resilience . People who are optimistic tend to be happier, healthier, and more successful in the workplace.

52. Touch Your Toes

Touching your toes can relieve stress by increasing blood flow to the brain. It also enhances memory and improves circulation. Some health and fitness experts say toe touches can also treat and prevent back pain .

53. Give More Hugs

A warm embrace is good for the soul. Experts say hugging can enhance our mood , lower blood pressure, and relieve stress.

54. Work With Your Hands

Plant a garden. Cook dinner. Play the guitar. Knit a scarf. Manual labor is scientifically proven to boost happiness levels .

55. Don't Worry About What Others Think of You

Filling your mind with worries about what other people think of you can drain your energy. So don't. Be your own judge of approval.

56. Shower Yourself With Self-Love

Self-criticism is self-defeating. But if you're compassionate toward yourself, you can actually make yourself more productive, stronger, and more relaxed. Next time you think negatively about yourself, write down that negative thought. By seeing how hurtful those words appear on paper, you'll begin to train yourself to stop saying them in your head.

57. Live in the Moment

When you tune out your thoughts and worries about the future and the past, life becomes a lot more manageable. Deadlines, debts, and the items on your to-do list will no longer hang over your head. In fact, people who are mindful about living in the now tend to complete difficult tasks such as a project at work or fitness routine with more ease.

58. Be on Time

By being on time for events, you relieve all that stress you would have felt if you had been running late. Good time management skills also help you more quickly accomplish your goals, thereby creating more free time for your family, friends, and hobbies.

59. Stop Saying "I'm Sorry"

Science tells us that those of us who avoid apologies are happier than those who own up to their blunders. Refusing to apologize actually gives us a sense of power and entitlement, research shows.

60. Hug Yourself

Self-love and acceptance are among the most important keys to happiness. If you're not happy with yourself, you're never going to be happy. Forgive yourself. Allow yourself those mistakes you've made. Accept yourself for who you are — the good, the bad and all that needs improvement.

61. Drink More Water

Hydrating your body and skin will keep you looking younger longer. It can also help you lose weight, boost your mood, and increase your brain power .

62. Take a Warm Bath

A long, warm soak in the tub can alleviate stress and bolster relaxation. Add essential oils to the water for added skin hydration.

63. Listen to Running Water

The sound of running water — be it from a rolling brook, waterfall, or faucet — is proven to lower stress, boost happiness, and evoke a feeling of calm.

A long, deep sigh can make all the difference. It's the physical act of letting go — grief, anxiety, sleepiness. Whatever burden you're holding on to. Take a deep breath, sigh, and enjoy a sense of relief .

65. Eat More Fruits and Vegetables

We feel good when we eat good. It's as simple as that. Magnesium (found in spinach), calcium (found in kale) and chromium (found in broccoli) are all proven to enhance not only our health but our overall mood.

66. Daydream

Visualize your future. Or just let your mind wander . Whatever your brain decides to settle on, close your eyes, open your mind, and just let go. When you daydream, you strengthen your creativity and well-being.

67. Listen to Music

Music is scientifically proven to ease pain, reduce stress, elevate mood — and a slew of other wonderful things that are great for our physical and emotional betterment. Listening to fast music can actually motivate and increase endurance, while slow music can help a person relax as well as prevent overeating.

68. Appreciate a Work of Art

Cultured people are happier . That's because they spend more of their moments taking in images of beauty — be it a watercolor by Van Gogh or a finger painting by your five-year-old daughter. So feast your eyes. Feast them often.

69. Let Go of Anger

Contrary to popular belief, the act of venting when we're angry either by throwing a few jabs at a punching bag or talking it out with a friend serves only to make us feel worse. Researchers have found that doing nothing when we're angry — essentially ignoring the emotion — more quickly leads us back to a state happiness.

70. Spend Time With Friends and Family

Nurture your relationships. Losing touch with friends and family is one of the top 5 regrets people have on their deathbed .

71. Buy Now, Enjoy Later

Studies show that for many people the best part of a vacation is looking forward to it . This applies to everyday life in all sorts of ways. Book your massage for a few weeks out rather than today. Plan your movie date a week in advance. Savor the anticipation.

72. Don't Let Credit Card Bills Hang Over Your Head

When we spend significant amounts of money, our brain reacts similarly to how it does when we experience physical pain . So don't prolong the effect. Pay off your credit card bills upfront or pay for big-ticket items in cash instead.

73. Don't Worry About Coming in First

An analysis of the facial expressions of Olympic athletes shows that bronze medal winners are typically happier than those who win the gold . Whether it's a game of chess or a project in the workplace, focus on doing well rather than being the best.

74. Earn Your Indulgences

We appreciate rewards more when we've earned them. So next time you treat yourself to an ice cream cone, make yourself work for it. For example, tell yourself you can indulge in the ice cream only if you've first eaten three balanced, healthy meals — and hold yourself to it.

75. Take Risks

It feels good to live on the edge. That's why skydiving and surfing are so popular. You can reap the rewards of this life in the fast lane sensation but taking small risks in ordinary activities. If you're a surfer, try to catch a slightly bigger wave that you might have otherwise passed up. Experiencing a little risk will increase your enjoyment of whatever activity you're engaged in.

76. Don't Over-Indulge

Studies show that people who are given an entire bag of chocolate candy enjoy those morsels less than people who are given just one piece of candy to taste. So if you want to increase your happiness, indulge in small portions.

77. Pop in a Sappy Movie

Films that make us cry actually boost our joy. Researchers have found that movies about a difficult breakup, for example, leave us feeling great because our minds begin to hyper-focus on the positive elements of our own romantic relationships.

78. Read the Newspaper

Time to renew that subscription to the local daily paper. Studies show that people who get their news from a broadsheet paper are happier than those who turn to television news to keep informed.

79. Be Spontaneous

Spontaneity brings growth and new experiences. It can also help you overcome shyness and build better relationships.

80. Take a Hot Shower

A short, piping hot shower brings many benefits, not least of all being that it makes you feel good . A hot shower can also improve circulation, relieve neck and shoulder pain, and decrease stress.

Go ahead and let it all out. People who allow themselves to a good cry when they're upset tend to feel better afterwards than those who bottle their sadness inside.

82. Eat More Steak

Research shows that people who consume less than the recommended amount of red meat in their diets are twice as likely to feel depressed .

83. Multitask

Studies show that multitasking may actually make you feel better. But there's a trade-off. While trying to accomplish numerous things simultaneously will leave you feeling more emotionally satisfied about the work you're doing, it will also make you less productive.

84. Draw Your Favorite Junk Foods

There really is such a thing as an ice cream sundae that's truly good for you . Studies show that drawing pictures of junk foods like ice cream, cupcakes, and mashed potato pizza gives us the same sense of satisfaction as if we had eaten it — but without all those extra calories.

85. Play in the Dirt

A harmless bacteria commonly found in soil has been found to have a similar effect on humans as antidepressant drugs. It's a great excuse to play in the dirt.

86. Don't Eat Lunch at Your Desk

Studies show that workers who eat lunch outside the office — a park bench, a cafe, the beach — feel happier after the meal than those who eat at their desk.

87. Make the Bed

Making the bed in the morning is one quickest, simplest ways to infuse our lives with a sense of calm and order. When our lives are tidy and organized, we feel happier. Clutter in general tends to detract from our inner sense of peace.

88. Assert Your Power

Studies show that people who hold a position of power, whether in a personal relationship or in the workplace, lead happier lives than those with less authority.

89. Spend Time With Happy people

Happiness is truly contagious. Studies show that when you surround yourself with happy people , you become happier by association.

90. Seal Off Your Dissatisfactions

If you find yourself consumed with negative thoughts, write down what's troubling you. Then seal the piece of paper in an envelope as if you were going to mail it. Research shows that physically sealing off negative emotions actually helps you overcome them.

91. Write a List of Every Single Amazing Thing You've Seen and Done

Studies show that writing down your positive experiences can actually improve your health . Plus you'll get a jolt of excitement just thinking about that white water rafting trip.

92. Give More Compliments

Receiving a compliment has the same effect on our brains as receiving cash . And while we can't force others to compliment us, when we give compliments to others we also reap some reward. That's because we feel good when we make other people feel good. It's a win-win!

93. Practice Monogamy

Sex makes us happy. And as it turns out, having sex with one partner makes us even happier. Studies show that people who have one sexual partner at a time are more satisfied than people who juggle several lovers.

94. Write Down Your Aspirations

When we have goals to guide us, we are happier and more apt to achieve success. Writing down our dreams forces us to fashion our vague ideas about what we want into a concrete game plan. Instant motivation.

95. Make Time for Yourself

Take a few minutes each day to be in total solitude. Alone time recharges the mind, helps us unwind, and enhances the quality of our relationships with others.

96. Grow Your Own Vegetables

Planting your own vegetables can improve your health , save you money and boost your mood. Backyard gardening can also be a great stress reliever — a little "me" time at the start of each day.

97. Drink More Tea

Tea of all kinds, but especially green tea, has properties that help fight off disease . Green, white, black, and oolong tea can also boost exercise endurance and hydrate the body — despite all that caffeine. Can your cup of coffee do all that?

98. Stop Drinking Soda

Soda can cause heartburn. It's linked to osteoporosis. It increases your risk of kidney stones. It contains unhealthy artificial ingredients. It destroys your teeth. It makes you fat . Think about all that the next time you reach for a Coke.

99. Stop Procrastinating

We procrastinate because completing whatever given action we're putting off will cause us a certain amount of discomfort or pain. But when we procrastinate we increase the burden by prolonging the amount of time the anticipation of this discomfort or pain hangs over our head. When we instead confront unpleasant tasks head-on, we decrease the amount of negativity they bring into our lives.

100. Eat More Legumes

Peas, beans, and peanuts are full of magnesium, a mineral that keeps our bodies pumping with energy .

Whew! Any small wonderful things I've missed? Please do a small wonderful thing and share your in comments!

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How Do I Know What Brings Me Joy?

We must become more embodied and purposefully expose ourselves to joy..

Posted February 1, 2022 | Reviewed by Lybi Ma

A key part of adulthood and relational trauma recovery work entails: cultivating more joy in your life.

I also specifically want to talk about how hard it can feel for those who come from relational trauma backgrounds to even remotely know what brings them joy if they didn’t experience joy in their childhood and or if they have a hard time connecting to their bodies.

And I want to address this because joy is incredibly important.

Aside from the fact that it feels good, joy is one of the keys on the emotional keyboard of life we can and should be able to access to proverbially play the richest and most enlivened emotional music possible.

What do I mean by this?

If you imagine a piano keyboard and all its attendant, beautiful black and ivory keys, you can imagine that each key represents an emotion that we experience in our human lives: sadness, lust, grief , horror, anger , peace, contentment, pride, impatience, love, devotion, and so forth.

With the emotional keyboard of life, the goal is not to learn and be able to play only a few keys.

The goal is, instead, to learn how to play the richest piece of music possible by developing your capacity to feel and appropriately express each of the proverbial keys on this keyboard.

And joy is one of these keys.

And it is, quite frankly, a really delightful and delicious one to feel.

I would also argue that, for those who come from relational trauma backgrounds, it becomes even more important for you to learn how to “play this key” so to speak.

Because so often when we come from relational trauma backgrounds the general overtone of our lives can be dominated by notes and themes of hardness, heaviness, suffering, fear , lack, challenge, and survival.

After so much time playing these particular keys on the keyboard and having missed out on the joy all children are entitled to early in life, we then owe it to ourselves as adults to learn how to play this proverbial key and to intentionally play it more often in the music of our days.

But how do you know what brings you joy if you had a childhood deprived of joy?

And even if you don’t come from a relational trauma background, how do you begin to feel joy when you are, quite frankly, utterly exhausted, burned out , and totally depleted given the stress , overwhelm, and responsibilities of your days?

To the latter: It is very, very hard to feel what brings you joy when you are burned out.

Your first order of business is to rest, deeply recover from burnout and come back to a psychological and physiological baseline.

Only then will you be able to better feel what brings you joy.

And to those who identify with coming from a relational trauma background, our work to discover what brings us joy is two-fold:

• We must become more embodied
• We must expose ourselves to more activities, experiences, and situations to see what signals joy in our bodies

I want to honor and acknowledge that, for those of us who come from relational trauma backgrounds, to survive our early childhoods, many of us may have learned to disconnect from our bodies — the place where we felt so many overwhelming and sometimes devastating feelings.

What brings joy? We need to learn how to gently, slowly, attentively begin to befriend our bodies again, tracking them for the sensations that indicate we are responding to something that it is bringing us joy.

We may need to learn to become embodied again to figure out what brings us joy.

And after becoming more embodied and more familiar with the subtle sensations in your own body, you can then discover what brings you more joy by exposing yourself to more situations, activities, circumstances, and places that will allow you to track how they make you feel.

How do we do this?

Think about all the interests and activities in the world, and think about how you can expose them to a child. Take your inner child and pursue these activities.

Go for a long walk, pick up a set of Magnatiles, wear blouses with embroidery and fun prints, have a movie night with friends, and enjoy lots of snacks.

The possibilities are endless, but please remember to be in the consistent pursuit of joy.

Allow yourself to register that delicious somatic sensation in your body.

Annie Wright, LMFT, a licensed psychotherapist and relational trauma recovery specialist, is the founder of a trauma-informed boutique therapy center.

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Elements Of My Joy Essay

There are many elements in life that we find the most joy in. Some of the elements that bring me the most joy are spending time with my family, friends and helping others mostly children. The gifts and talents I have are a source of my joy. Some of those gifts and talents include my musical ability and natural connection with children. My gifts and talents also reflect on the strengths I have which include creativity, kindness and listening. Even though there are strengths, there are also a few challenges. Some of the challenges include wondering if I made the right choices and the ability to handle change. I believe when you conquer your challenges, you are able to have a more joyous life. Certain things that bring us joy and challenges that …show more content…

One element that brings me joy is my family. I enjoy creating memories with my family. Since most of my family works all of the time, it is always nice to spend time with each other. Another element that brings me joy is my friends. My friends bring out the best in me and allow me a better person. My friends know what makes me happy. I enjoy the adventures that I do with them. The last element that brings me joy is helping others. I mostly enjoy helping children. I work in a daycare and I love seeing the kids and seeing how excited they are to see me. Seeing the kids grow socially and intelligently brings me joy since I had an impact on their growth. Seeing the kids every week brings me so much joy. These are a few elements that bring me joy. The different gifts and talents play a part in my …show more content…

My first strength is kindness. Since I am mostly around children, kindness allows them to like me and be comfortable around me. The last strength is listening, I listen to all of my friends if they need someone to talk to. Listening allows me to be their support system. Even though I have different strengths, there are also some challenges. Some of these challenges are similar to the life of St. Francis and St. Clare. Some of my challenges are deciding whether I picked the right choice and ability to handle change. There are many events in my life where I wasn’t sure if I made the right decision or not. For example, I recently switched my major and I wasn’t sure if I made the right choice and if my parents would agree with it. This is similar to St. Francis’s life because he kept changing what he wanted to do with his life and wanted his parents approval. Francis was still his father’s son, unconsciously pursuing what his father valued reputation, status and wealth (Sweeney, 2014, p.34). Francis wanted to this in order to make his father proud but as time went on he knew what he wanted to do even though his parents might not agree to it. Francis always questioned himself in the decisions that he made frequently ( Egler, October 2015). Another challenge is the ability to handle change. I have a difficult time trying to accept change because I usually like the way things are. I don’t like change when I have no control over

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Personal essay: pleasures particular to you for Leaving Cert English #625Lab

Write a personal essay on what you perceive to be the pleasures particular to you..

#625Lab . Corrected by an experienced examiner, graded as 83/100 with feedback on how to improve below. You may also like: Leaving Cert English Comp lete Guide (€). Essay credit: Fionnuala O’Connell

8 billion. That is how many living people are on this earth right now. To many, this number is beyond comprehension, beyond what we can visualise and understand. Its enormity is overwhelming and suffocating, 8 billion is a number that not many people will ever be able to meaningfully identify with and truly grasp. Personally, I don’t think I ever will – Eight billion people each living their own lives and struggles and victories is a daunting concept to get your head around. Consequently, it is simply a fact of life that is very rare to find someone on this earth who can be considered entirely “unique”. No matter what we like to think, there will always be someone who shares your greatest pleasure, your favourite book and your favourite song, and there will always be people who regard your interests and hopes and dreams to be “boring” and “common”. No matter how hard you fight to be seen as special and individual, there is always someone else, somewhere, who will have the same shirt as you, and who gets the same McDonalds order as you, and who shops in the same stores as you. In such a large diverse world, is it even possible for me to have any pleasures that are particular and unique to me? Is there even such a thing as a truly unique person? (Personal anecdote could follow now. A second paragraph critiquing the idea of ‘unique-ness’, makes the personal essay move into the realm of a discursive essay/article/speech)

To be fair, it’s clear that right now the world we live (in) doesn’t quite foster the right atmosphere for originality and uniqueness. Right now, I could walk into any shop on the main street and walk out with an outfit (or two, or five, or ten), and be absolutely positive that there’s another girl not too far from here wearing the exact same thing. We live in a mass produced world, a plastic paradise, characterised by trends and fast fashion, where everyone shares everything. We define ourselves by the media we consume and the way we present ourselves but in this world how can we differentiate ourselves from each other when we all revolve around and choose from the same handful of hobbies and interests? How can we ever be sure of our own personalities when we share so much in common to those around us? When the pleasures we perceive particular to ourselves are mass produced into thousands of stores across hundreds of countries in thousands of cities, can we ever truly be individuals? (A lot of rhetorical questions)

Personally, what I perceive to be my greatest passion and my greatest pleasure in life is music; I love to listen to music, to play music, to write music . (Insert anecdote) It’s my escape from the bland mundanity of regular life, and it is possibly the single most important thing to me in my life. Music is an outlet, it allows me to express myself, to be creative, to brighten up boring days and bus rides, and ironically, it allows me to connect with others who have similar tastes. It allows me to make new friends and to grow closer with old ones, it’s an excuse for social gatherings and events and it is always a talking point. It brings back memories, good and bad, and gives me a chance to make new ones, ensuring that I am never bored. To be this passionate about something seems bizarre when I consider the hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people in the world who feel this same way, who listen to the same albums and songs as me every day, who play the same instruments and same songs as me, and who feel just as strongly. Can music really be my passion and my defining hobby when it’s so commonplace? (Again, moving into discursive as it lacks the anecdote. The anecdote provides opportunity for reflection, a key component of the Personal essay)

Well in my personal opinion, to be blunt, I find the whole concept of a pleasure exclusive and particular to me to be absurd. I truly believe the concept of somebody being partially or entirely unique in the traditional sense is impossible. Clearly, I know I’m not, there is absolutely nothing particular to me when I consider the enormity of the world and how common my hobbies are, and I know that I am about as special as everyone else on this earth – not at all. There is no magic ingredient to being special or having a superior set of interests and hobbies, and that anything but a bad thing. After all, If I am still to search for something really and truly unique to me (and music clearly isn’t it), what else is there that I enjoy? What is the one true, unique pleasure particular to me? Well, I enjoy playing video games, and I enjoy going out to shows. I enjoy finally getting a good grade on something I studied really hard for, and I enjoy finally getting a maths problem right after hours of googling what to do. I enjoy hanging out with my friends, I enjoy big, grand, loud parties, and I enjoy sleepovers where we whisper precious secrets under the protection of laughter and crinkling food wrappers. I enjoy watching movies together and crowding around a too-bright screen, and I also enjoy sitting together with my best friend, studying, perfectly silent but secure in the knowledge that we are both united and working with each other’s support. I enjoy sunny days at the beach when I feel like the sun is going to burn both of my legs off, and I enjoy giggling the night away with my friends in a field as the pit-pattering of rain on my tent whispers a gentle reminder that all is at peace and that everything is okay. These are the simple pleasures of my life and they bring me endless joy, not because of what they are but how they make me feel .(This is a lovely paragraph for the Personal essay, the language flows, there is an ease with the material and it hasn’t slipped into the ranting or tedium of teenagers. Good use of descriptive imagery and reflection .) Clearly, none of these are especially unique or particular to me, these are universal human experiences after all. However I am strongly of the opinion that the pleasures that you partake in can never be truly particular to you and that’s fine because that’s not what matters; what matters is how it makes you feel, how it makes you grow and react and develop. What matters are the emotions they invoke and the memories they lead you to form, because while nothing is ever materially unique to you, the experiences you reap and the memories you form are . (Yes, writer has really hit the crux of the Personal essay here)

8 billion is a frighteningly large number, incomprehensible to many and to some may signify the death of our simple pleasures and hobbies being truly “unique”. To me however, it signifies something far more positive – a chance (or 8 billion) to make those acts mean something . (Sense of ‘full-circle’ is established by using the opening lines again, but final paragraph is too brief, elaboration and reflection on the arguments presented could be included.)

Paragraph 2 could be used later on in Essay. There is a sense that much of this material could be more suited to a speech – the use of rhetorical questioning and discursive language points to this. 

It’s very important to outline a stance at the outset. Reading the first two paragraphs and their argumentative/critical tone, jars slightly, as paragraphs 3 and 4 are much more in keeping with the tone of a personal essay.

That said, there is a clear capable command of the English language here, with good vocabulary and technical accuracy. Paragraph 4 is what raises this essay to a higher grade and with a this type of approach across the duration of the essay, a higher grade is achievable. 

P:  25/30

C:  23/30

L:  25/30

Total: 83/100

Image: Image: Luke Chesser via Unsplash

• Post author: Martina
• Post published: April 18, 2019
• Post category: #625Lab / English / PCLM / Personal essay

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Tips for embracing joy in daily life

• Balance your mental and emotional health

Stress isn't new. Modern technology has made some tasks easier, but stress levels have stayed the same or increased. About 27% of U.S. adults report that they are so stressed most days that they are unable to function. Over 75% experienced at least one stress-related symptom in the last month, like headache, fatigue, nervousness or feeling depressed.

Joy is a powerful emotion and harnessing it can be a remedy for stress-related burnout. Contentment and joy can positively improve physical and mental health and overall well-being. Here's what you need to know to build, cultivate and sustain joy in your life.

Joy versus happiness

It's easy to confuse the emotions of joy and happiness because they often are experienced at the same time. Yet, some nuances should be distinguished. Often, happiness is the emotional reaction to what is happening around you. Whereas joy isn't reactionary and often is driven by internal motivations like working toward a goal or finding a purpose in life.

"Happiness is an emotion, whereas joy is more a state of being," says Rebekkah Frunzac, M.D. , general surgeon and chief wellness officer at Mayo Clinic Health System in Austin and Albert Lea , Minnesota. "When you are joyful, it doesn't mean you are always giddy or happy. But it means you can appreciate moments of happiness within the bigger context of life."

Karizma Maxson agrees. She is a neonatal ICU nurse manager at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, and previously implemented joy activities at Mayo Clinic Health System in La Crosse , Wisconsin.

"Happiness is fleeting, but my joy still drives me on a terrible day," says Karizma. "Because I have a purpose in life, I still have joy even during a horrible time."

Compounding joy

Joy isn't experienced in a vacuum. Most of the time, it's a feeling or sentiment that spreads to others through your attitude and actions.

"I think of joy as a ripple or a domino. On my team, we share a connection of wanting to care for women and children," says Karizma. "This shared purpose, and joy, builds a connection between everyone on the team. When you link joy together, it becomes even stronger."

Tips for discovering joy

Joy looks different to each person and can be found in everyday situations. Some people find joy in caring for others, spiritual connections, spending time in nature or continually learning. Other people discover joy in different activities, relationships or personal empowerment.

Karizma refers to these pursuits as "filling my cup" and encourages people to feel empowered to seek and discover what brings them joy. Having activities or a purpose replenishes physical and emotional energy and helps people be more resilient when times are tough.

Dr. Frunzac and Karizma offer additional tips for embracing joy daily:

Focus on what you can control..

Many possible stressors in life are outside of your control. The weather, how others treat you, your past, natural disasters, your relatives and other aspects of your life exist without your input. While building joy, focus your time and attention on things you can control.

"I've learned to not internalize the things I can't control," says Dr. Frunzac. "This frees me up to better navigate the situation and focus on my personal happiness and mental health."

This can be easier said than done. Write out the details of a stressful situation and outline which aspects are in and outside your control. Then make an intentional decision to shift your attention to things you can change, including your attitude.

"Our attitudes are often a choice. We can spend time ruminating on something that is negative and out of our control or decide to see the good in something and choose joy," says Karizma.

Express gratitude.

Gratitude is being thankful or showing appreciation for the things and people around you. This could be sending positive thoughts to someone special, writing a text message to a friend or listing three things you are grateful for each day. Practicing this daily helps your brain shift its focus to appreciation and blessings, instead of problems and challenges.

"It's easy to get bogged down in what we don't have, what we want or situations where we feel like we have been taken advantage of," says Dr. Frunzac. "Being deliberate about listing our blessings helps us recognize that, even with stressors, most people are very lucky and fortunate."

Assume good intent.

When stressed, any additional inconvenience or misunderstanding could be viewed as unjust and an intentional barrier to your joy. In most cases, people are simply doing their best with the information and skills they possess, and their actions are not malicious or spiteful.

"When you start a relationship from the position that somebody else is bad or wrong, then that relationship is set up for failure," says Dr. Frunzac. "But if you can assume positive intent and approach every problem as though you are sitting on the same side of the table attacking the problem together, rather than attacking one another, you can find common ground and fulfillment."

Concentrate on building relationships.

To various degrees, all people need social connections with others. For many, helping lift others creates a sense of purpose and joy. If building healthy relationships is at the core of your efforts, you can find happiness and joy in your life.

"One of the best parts of leadership is finding out what fills the cups of your team," says Karizma. "Part of being a good friend, good partner and good spouse is to recognize what is great in everyone and lift them up. Sharing in their joy and cheering them on helps us recognize the good things in ourselves, too."

Keep perspective.

Some decisions or situations have serious, long-lasting effects on your life. But often, things that seem important today may only matter a little or not at all in five or 10 years. It's common to recall the feeling of stress or worry years later, but not the actual scenario that caused it.

As you strive for joy, remember to keep perspective on which situations and decisions are monumental and which are not, like little annoyances.

"Everyone has aspects of their jobs that they don't enjoy," says Dr. Frunzac. "But learning to accept those parts helps compartmentalize them. Not everything we do is a defining moment in our lives. Sometimes, it's just a job that needs to be done."

Help is available

Even joyful people have difficult or unhappy days. Dr. Frunzac and Karizma stress that help is available for anyone struggling with depression or anxiety more days than not. Your health care team can help assess your symptoms and offer local resources to help you.

Mayo Clinic Health System invites you to try one or more of these free, self-guided virtual programs to help you improve different aspects of your health and wellness:

• Discover Gratitude This monthlong program will help improve your mental well-being through daily journaling.
• Journey to Wellness This yearlong program focuses on different aspects of healthy living each month. Using the provided resources and activities, choose those important to you, and complete them on your schedule.
• Kickstart Kindness During this monthlong program, you'll complete as many activities as you'd like from the list of nearly 100 ideas. You're invited to extend kindness to co-workers, community, environment, home and family, neighborhood, school and yourself.
• Slim Your Screen Time This two-month program encourages you to increase physical activity, build social relationships that contribute to resiliency, and improve your mood and mental health. Play, explore and connect more by completing as many activities as you'd like from a list of nearly 100 ideas.

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Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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Personal Essay: Enjoy Happiness In Life

Enjoy Happiness Throughout life, there have been various forms or opinions about what makes a person happy or not. The forms about how to be happy, always results in controversies since each person is different and for that reason, each person finds their happiness differently. Happiness is a state of mind where there is a very strong satisfaction. Happiness is understood and achieved in different ways because in order to have happiness in life one must first be happy. Being happy is when a person feels comfortable, contented, pleased or even relaxed. The term happiness can be defined as the satisfaction of achieving goals. Most people who achieve their objectives or goals in life can be considered the happiest people. Since getting what is sometimes said to be unattainable or almost impossible to achieve, that is one of the greatest satisfactions that anyone can achieve. When someone make a purpose, something like going on a trip to another country and finally achieves it, it is said that this person is full of happiness since that person achieved his purpose. A person who considers himself unhappy is for the failure to meet his desires in life. This type of people are commonly people who are under a lot of stress, preventing …show more content…

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Great Gatsby essay Gustavo pd 6 Happiness: a state of well-being and contentment (Mariam Webster dictionary). People pursue wealth trying to find what they believe is happiness, however the story "The Great Gatsby" by F Scott Fitzgerald clearly shows that money cannot buy happiness and if anything leads to people living unfulfilled lives. The story revolves around wealthy characters and their lives, but it is shown throughout the book that relationships cannot be bought. Examples of people attempting to "buy" relationships are shown in the multiple occasions where upper class members socialize with each other despite not always liking each other but simply because they are upper class members. Another example of a "bought" relationship is the relationship between Tom and Daisy because she fell back on him when Gatsby went off to war because he was an upper class member even though she did not truly love him.

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Similarities Between Fahrenheit 451 And Today's Society

However, it can be categorized as being content with your place in life with what you are given. First, in order to know happiness, people have to experience countering emotions. “Happiness is being able to ride the wave of every emotion that life throws at you, knowing that you can come out the other side just a little better than what you were before because you have the skills (focus, courage, curiosity), the resources (a positive mindset), and the support structure (a community) to make that happen” stated Penny Locaso, author of “Hacking Happiness. ”Happiness is not just feeling excited and joyful 24/7, it’s more about being confident that everything happens for a reason and knowing that you are strong enough to overcome the bad things that may happen to you. Brock Bastian, a social psychologist at the University of Melbourne School of Psychological Sciences, stated, “The danger of feeling that we should avoid our negative experiences is that we respond to them badly when they do arise”...

Examples Of Happiness In Fahrenheit 451

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Symbolism Of Happiness In Station Eleven

Station Eleven and I: What is Happiness? Happiness is being around your self-chosen family with a career in a profession that simultaneously gives you purpose and help improve our society. It is the feeling of comfort and being considerate of others. The novel Station Eleven has many different definitions of happiness as defined by various characters within the book.

Examples Of Happiness In Station Eleven

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Rhetorical Analysis Essay On Happiness

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Discovering Your Life Purpose: A Guide to Living a Meaningful Life

Living a meaningful life: finding your life purpose.

In the quest for a fulfilling and meaningful life,  discovering your life purpose  is an essential step. Having a clear sense of purpose provides direction, motivation, and a sense of fulfillment in everything you do. It gives your life meaning and helps you navigate through the ups and downs, making each day more purposeful and rewarding.

The Importance of Having a Life Purpose

Having a life purpose is vital for several reasons. Firstly, it gives you a sense of direction and clarity. When you have a defined purpose, you know what you are working towards and can align your actions and decisions accordingly. This clarity helps you stay focused and motivated, even during challenging times.

Secondly, a life purpose provides a sense of fulfillment. When you are engaged in activities that align with your purpose, you experience a deep sense of satisfaction and meaning. It brings a sense of joy and fulfillment as you know that you are making a difference in the world and living in alignment with your values.

Lastly, having a life purpose can contribute to overall well-being. Research has shown that individuals who have a strong sense of purpose tend to have higher levels of happiness, resilience, and life satisfaction. It provides a sense of identity and a framework for personal growth and development.

Understanding What Life Purpose Means

Defining life purpose can be a personal and introspective process. It involves understanding your values, passions, strengths, and the impact you want to make in the world. Life purpose goes beyond career or financial success; it encompasses all aspects of your life, including relationships, personal growth, and contribution to society.

Your life purpose is unique to you. It is the essence of who you are and what you strive to achieve in your lifetime. It may evolve and change as you grow and gain new experiences. Discovering your life purpose is an ongoing journey of self-exploration and self-reflection.

If you’re interested in delving deeper into the topic of  finding your life purpose , you may find our article on  finding life purpose  helpful. It provides insights, techniques, and exercises to guide you in discovering and living your purposeful life.

By understanding the importance of having a life purpose and gaining clarity on what it means to you, you are taking an important step toward living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. In the subsequent sections, we will explore various aspects of finding your life purpose, including identifying your passions, values, strengths, and crafting a personal mission statement.

Exploring Your Passions and Values

To live a meaningful life and discover your life purpose , it is essential to explore and understand your  passions  and  core values . These two elements play a significant role in shaping your purpose and guiding you towards a fulfilling life.

Identifying Your Passions

Passions are the things that ignite a sense of excitement, joy, and fulfillment within you. They are the activities, interests, or causes that you find deeply meaningful and enjoyable. Identifying your passions is a crucial step in discovering your life purpose.

To identify your passions, take a moment to reflect on the activities that make you lose track of time, bring you a sense of fulfillment, or make you feel alive. Consider the hobbies, interests, and experiences that have consistently brought you joy throughout your life. Pay attention to the activities that energize and inspire you.

Ask yourself questions like:

• What activities do I enjoy doing the most?
• What subjects or topics do I find myself constantly drawn to?
• What activities make me feel fully engaged and present?
• What brings me a deep sense of satisfaction or fulfillment?

By exploring and acknowledging your passions, you can gain valuable insights into what truly matters to you and uncover potential avenues for living a purposeful life.

Identifying Your Core Values

Core values are the guiding principles and beliefs that define who you are and what you stand for. They serve as a compass, influencing your decisions, actions, and behaviors. Identifying your core values is crucial in aligning your life with your authentic self and finding your life purpose.

To identify your core values, reflect on what is truly important to you in life. Consider the principles that you hold dear and the qualities you strive to embody. Think about the values that resonate deeply with you and guide your behavior and choices.

• What principles do I believe in and live by?
• What qualities do I admire in others and aspire to cultivate in myself?
• What are the non-negotiables in my life?
• What values do I want to be remembered for?

By identifying your core values, you can gain clarity on what truly matters to you and use them as a compass to navigate your path towards a meaningful life.

Once you have identified your passions and core values, you can use them as building blocks to define your life purpose. These elements will help guide you in crafting a personal mission statement and setting meaningful goals aligned with your purpose. For more guidance on discovering your life purpose, check out our article on  finding life purpose .

Remember, the journey towards discovering your life purpose is unique to you. Embrace the exploration of your passions and values as an opportunity for self-discovery, growth, and creating a life that is truly meaningful to you.

Reflecting on Your Strengths and Talents

To live a meaningful life aligned with your  life purpose , it is important to reflect on your  strengths  and  talents . Recognizing and leveraging these innate qualities can guide you towards a fulfilling and purposeful path.

Recognizing Your Natural Strengths

Your natural strengths are the qualities that come to you effortlessly and bring out the best in you. These strengths can manifest in various areas of your life, such as your personal relationships, career, or hobbies. By identifying your natural strengths, you can better understand how to apply them in pursuit of your life purpose.

Take some time to reflect on activities or situations in which you feel most confident and successful. What are the skills or qualities that enable you to excel in those areas? Consider the feedback you have received from others throughout your life. Are there recurring themes or patterns that point to your natural strengths? Reflecting on these aspects can provide valuable insights into your unique abilities.

Uncovering Your Unique Talents

While strengths are often developed skills or qualities, talents are innate abilities that come naturally to you. These talents can be artistic, analytical, interpersonal, or any other area where you have a natural inclination. Uncovering your unique talents can help you uncover your life purpose and find ways to express yourself authentically.

Reflect on activities or areas in which you feel a sense of flow, where time seems to fly by and you are fully absorbed in the task at hand. What are the activities that bring you joy and fulfillment? Pay attention to the activities that others often seek your assistance or advice in. These can provide clues about your unique talents.

Once you have identified your natural strengths and talents, consider how they align with your values, passions, and the impact you want to make in the world. This alignment is crucial in finding a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. For further guidance and exercises on discovering your life purpose, check out our article on  finding life purpose .

By recognizing and leveraging your natural strengths and talents, you can gain clarity on the direction you want to take in your life. This self-awareness will enable you to make choices and take actions that align with your purpose, creating a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Remember, the journey of discovering and living your life purpose is unique to you, and it is an ongoing process of exploration and growth.

Clarifying Your Personal Mission Statement

To truly live a meaningful life, it is essential to clarify your  personal mission statement . This statement serves as a guiding compass, helping you make decisions and take actions that align with your values and purpose. Clarifying your personal mission involves  defining your personal mission  and  crafting your personal mission statement .

Defining Your Personal Mission

Defining your personal mission involves introspection and reflection on what truly matters to you. Ask yourself questions such as:

• What brings you joy and fulfillment?
• What impact do you want to make in the world?
• What values do you hold dear?

By delving into these questions, you can gain a deeper understanding of your passions, values, and aspirations. It’s important to explore different aspects of your life, including your career, relationships, personal growth, and contribution to society. Take time to reflect on your experiences, achievements, and the moments that have brought you a sense of purpose and satisfaction. Our article on  finding life purpose  can provide additional insights and exercises to guide you through this process.

Crafting Your Personal Mission Statement

Crafting your personal mission statement involves distilling your thoughts, values, and aspirations into a concise and impactful statement. Your mission statement should be a reflection of who you are, what you stand for, and what you want to accomplish in your life.

To create your personal mission statement, follow these steps:

• Identify your core values : Consider the values that are most important to you. These may include integrity, compassion, authenticity, or growth.
• Define your purpose : Reflect on your passions and the impact you want to make in the world. What do you want to contribute to society? How do you want to make a difference?
• Combine values and purpose : Integrate your core values and purpose into a clear and concise statement. Make it personal and meaningful to you.

For example, a personal mission statement might be: “To inspire and empower others through creativity and compassion, fostering positive change in the world.”

By crafting a personal mission statement, you have a powerful tool to guide your decisions, set goals, and live a life that aligns with your values and purpose. Keep your mission statement in mind as you navigate your personal and professional journey, and use it as a source of inspiration and motivation.

When clarifying your personal mission statement, it can be helpful to work with a  life purpose coach  or engage in  life purpose coaching . These professionals can provide guidance, support, and  life purpose exercises  to help you uncover your true passions and values. Additionally,  life purpose workshops  and  life purpose assessments  can assist you in further exploration. Remember, your personal mission statement is unique to you, and it will evolve as you grow and gain new insights into yourself and the world around you.

Taking Action Towards Your Life Purpose

Having a clear understanding of your  life purpose  is just the first step towards living a meaningful life. To truly make a difference and fulfill your purpose, it is essential to take  action . This section will explore two important aspects of taking action towards your life purpose:  setting goals  aligned with your life purpose and  overcoming challenges and obstacles  along the way.

Setting Goals Aligned with Your Life Purpose

Setting goals that are in alignment with your life purpose is an effective way to bring your vision to life. By defining clear and actionable goals, you can create a roadmap that will guide you towards living a purposeful life.

To set goals aligned with your life purpose, start by examining the core elements of your purpose. Identify the specific areas or domains in which you want to make a meaningful impact. For example, if your life purpose is to promote environmental sustainability, you might set goals related to reducing your carbon footprint, engaging in activism, or educating others about sustainable practices.

It is important to make your goals specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART). This ensures that your goals are well-defined and have a clear timeline for achievement. For instance, instead of setting a general goal to “help the environment,” a SMART goal could be “reduce personal water consumption by 20% within the next six months.”

Regularly review and reassess your goals to ensure they remain aligned with your evolving understanding of your life purpose. Adjust them as needed to stay on track and maintain motivation. By setting goals aligned with your life purpose, you will be able to actively work towards creating a meaningful impact in the areas that matter most to you.

Overcoming Challenges and Obstacles

Embarking on a journey to live your life purpose is not without its challenges and obstacles. It is important to anticipate and prepare for the roadblocks that may come your way. By developing strategies to overcome these challenges, you can stay focused and resilient on your path towards living a meaningful life.

One effective strategy for overcoming challenges is to reframe obstacles as opportunities for growth and learning. Approach obstacles with a mindset of curiosity and adaptability. Embrace the lessons they offer and use them as stepping stones to refine your approach and improve your effectiveness.

Another crucial aspect of overcoming challenges is seeking support from others. Surround yourself with a network of like-minded individuals who can provide encouragement, guidance, and accountability. This could include mentors, friends, or even joining relevant communities or support groups.

Additionally, practicing self-care and maintaining a healthy mindset is essential when facing challenges. Nurture your physical, emotional, and mental well-being through activities like exercise, mindfulness, and self-reflection. This will help you maintain resilience and stay motivated during difficult times.

Remember, overcoming challenges and obstacles is an inherent part of the journey towards living a meaningful life. Embrace them as opportunities for growth, seek support when needed, and prioritize self-care to navigate these challenges with strength and grace.

By setting goals aligned with your life purpose and developing strategies to overcome challenges, you can actively work towards living a fulfilling and meaningful life. Remember to regularly revisit your goals, reassess your progress, and adjust your approach as needed. With determination, resilience, and a clear sense of purpose, you can make a positive impact and live a life that is truly meaningful to you.

Living a Fulfilling and Meaningful Life

Once you have discovered your life purpose and aligned your actions with it, you can embark on a journey of living a fulfilling and meaningful life. This section explores two key aspects of this journey:  embracing growth and learning  and  cultivating gratitude and mindfulness .

Embracing Growth and Learning

Living a fulfilling life involves a commitment to continuous growth and learning. Embracing growth means being open to new experiences, challenges, and opportunities for self-improvement. It requires stepping out of your comfort zone and pushing yourself to reach new heights.

To embrace growth and learning, consider the following:

• Seek new knowledge:  Stay curious and actively seek opportunities to expand your knowledge and skills. This can involve reading books, attending seminars, taking courses, or engaging in online learning platforms. By continuously learning, you enhance your personal growth and keep your mind engaged.
• Embrace challenges:  Challenges provide valuable opportunities for growth. Instead of shying away from them, approach challenges with a positive mindset and see them as chances for personal development. Embracing challenges helps you build resilience, problem-solving skills, and confidence in your abilities.
• Embrace feedback:  Feedback is a powerful tool for growth. Instead of viewing feedback as criticism, see it as an opportunity to learn and improve. Actively seek feedback from trusted individuals, mentors, or coaches who can provide valuable insights to help you grow and develop.
• Set goals:  Setting goals can provide direction and motivation for personal growth. Create clear and achievable goals that align with your life purpose. Break them down into smaller, actionable steps and track your progress. This process of goal-setting helps you stay focused and provides a sense of accomplishment as you work towards your objectives.

Cultivating Gratitude and Mindfulness

Cultivating gratitude and mindfulness can greatly enhance your experience of living a meaningful life. These practices help you stay present, appreciate the present moment, and find joy in the simple things. They allow you to cultivate a positive mindset and foster deeper connections with yourself and others.

Consider the following practices to cultivate gratitude and mindfulness:

• Gratitude journaling:  Take a few moments each day to write down things you are grateful for. It can be as simple as a sunny day, a kind gesture from a friend, or a personal achievement. This practice helps shift your focus towards the positive aspects of your life and fosters a sense of gratitude.
• Mindful breathing:  Practice mindful breathing exercises to bring your focus to the present moment. Take slow, deep breaths and pay attention to the sensations of your breath entering and leaving your body. This practice helps calm the mind, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.
• Mindful activities:  Engage in activities with full presence and awareness. Whether it’s eating a meal, going for a walk, or spending time with loved ones, be fully present and savor the experience. This practice helps you appreciate the small moments and find joy in the simple pleasures of life.
• Acts of kindness:  Practice acts of kindness towards yourself and others. This can involve offering a helping hand, expressing gratitude, or engaging in self-care activities. Acts of kindness not only benefit others but also bring a sense of fulfillment and purpose to your own life.

By embracing growth and learning, as well as cultivating gratitude and mindfulness, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful life. Remember that this journey is unique to each individual, and it requires consistent effort and self-reflection. Stay committed to your life purpose, and continue exploring ways to enhance your personal growth and well-being.

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My Joy List | Things That Make Me Happy

Posted: May 1, 2024 | Last updated: May 1, 2024

Have you considered creating a joy list? It's simple: List all the things that bring you joy. Then you can keep that list on your phone or on your wall, and make an effort to do more of those things often! Here are some things that currently bring me joy. What are yours? // links→ vanity tour | <a href="http://bit.ly/2Gq9lu4→">http://bit.ly/2Gq9lu4→</a> journaling playlist | <a href="http://bit.ly/2rrilJF→">http://bit.ly/2rrilJF→</a> hyori's bed & breakfast | <a href="http://bit.ly/2GWhU0z→">http://bit.ly/2GWhU0z→</a> song: esna yoon - some | <a href="http://bit.ly/2KwBfb9→">http://bit.ly/2KwBfb9→</a> zero waste challenge video | <a href="http://bit.ly/2FZ3Nq9"Don't">http://bit.ly/2FZ3Nq9"Don't</a> ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive, and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman// blog post | <a href="https://www.lavendaire.com/my-joy-list-things-that-make-me-happy💝">https://www.lavendaire.com/my-joy-list-things-that-make-me-happy💝</a> Get the Shop: Artist of Life Workbook & Daily Planner by Lavendaire | <a href="http://shop.lavendaire.com💛">http://shop.lavendaire.com💛</a> Subscribe to my podcast The Lavendaire Lifestyle | <a href="https://lavendaire.com/llpodcast📸Follow">https://lavendaire.com/llpodcast📸Follow</a> my Insta | <a href="http://instagram.com/lavendaire___//">http://instagram.com/lavendaire___//</a> F O L L O W 🌻 blog | <a href="https://lavendaire.com🌻">https://lavendaire.com🌻</a> second channel | <a href="http://youtube.com/hellolavendaire❀">http://youtube.com/hellolavendaire❀</a> instagram | <a href="http://instagram.com/lavendaire❀">http://instagram.com/lavendaire❀</a> facebook | <a href="http://facebook.com/lavendaire❀">http://facebook.com/lavendaire❀</a> twitter | <a href="http://twitter.com/lavendaire❀">http://twitter.com/lavendaire❀</a> pinterest | <a href="http://pinterest.com/lavendaire❀">http://pinterest.com/lavendaire❀</a> spotify | <a href="https://open.spotify.com/user/aileenxu___//">https://open.spotify.com/user/aileenxu___//</a> R E S O U R C E S 💌 Join the #LaviLoves mailing list | <a href="http://lavendaire.com/mail🌼">http://lavendaire.com/mail🌼</a> Join our Community on Discord | <a href="https://lavendaire.com/discord💝">https://lavendaire.com/discord💝</a> Shop: Artist of Life Workbook & Daily Planner by Lavendaire | <a href="http://shop.lavendaire.com💛">http://shop.lavendaire.com💛</a> Podcast: The Lavendaire Lifestyle | <a href="http://lavendaire.com/llpodcast🎧">http://lavendaire.com/llpodcast🎧</a> FREE Audible Trial | <a href="http://www.audibletrial.com/lavendaire📚">http://www.audibletrial.com/lavendaire📚</a> My Favorite Books | <a href="http://lavendaire.com/favorites/books🎥">http://lavendaire.com/favorites/books🎥</a> My equipment for YouTube, blogging, & podcasting | <a href="http://lavendaire.com/gear/🏡">http://lavendaire.com/gear/🏡</a> Get a free $40 credit on Airbnb | <a href="http://bit.ly/29Ikbj8___Filmed">http://bit.ly/29Ikbj8___Filmed</a> & Edited by Aileen Xu | @lavendaireTranscription by Alicia Lalicon | [email protected] by The Muse Maker | <a href="http://www.themusemaker.comOutro">www.themusemaker.comOutro</a> music by Eventide | <a href="http://bit.ly/2wW9Xa8//">http://bit.ly/2wW9Xa8//</a> M A I L B O XAileen XuPO Box 296Brea, CA 92822Business inquiries & music submissions | [email protected]___// A B O U T I'm Aileen, a lifestyle blogger sharing knowledge and inspiration on creating your dream life.Lavendaire is my blog about personal growth + lifestyle design. Follow along and learn how you can create a life you love. Subscribe to Lavendaire to get inspired by new videos weekly! <a href="http://bit.ly/sublavendaire___Disclaimer:">http://bit.ly/sublavendaire___Disclaimer:</a> This is NOT a sponsored video.

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10 Personal Narrative Examples to Inspire Your Writing

Personal narratives are short pieces of creative nonfiction that recount a story from someone’s own experiences. They can be a memoir, a thinkpiece, or even a polemic — so long as the piece is grounded in the writer's beliefs and experiences, it can be considered a personal narrative.

Despite the nonfiction element, there’s no single way to approach this topic, and you can be as creative as you would be writing fiction. To inspire your writing and reveal the sheer diversity of this type of essay, here are ten great examples personal narratives from recent years: 

1. “Only Disconnect” by Gary Shteyngart

Personal narratives don’t have to be long to be effective, as this thousand-word gem from the NYT book review proves. Published in 2010, just as smartphones were becoming a ubiquitous part of modern life, this piece echoes many of our fears surrounding technology and how it often distances us from reality.

In this narrative, Shteyngart navigates Manhattan using his new iPhone—or more accurately, is led by his iPhone, completely oblivious to the world around him. He’s completely lost to the magical happenstance of the city as he “follow[s] the arrow taco-ward”. But once he leaves for the country, and abandons the convenience of a cell phone connection, the real world comes rushing back in and he remembers what he’s been missing out on. 

The downfalls of technology is hardly a new topic, but Shteyngart’s story remains evergreen because of how our culture has only spiraled further down the rabbit hole of technology addiction in the intervening years.

What can you learn from this piece?

Just because a piece of writing is technically nonfiction, that doesn’t mean that the narrative needs to be literal. Shteyngart imagines a Manhattan that physically changes around him when he’s using his iPhone, becoming an almost unrecognizable world. From this, we can see how a certain amount of dramatization can increase the impact of your message—even if that wasn’t exactly the way something happened. 

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2. “Why I Hate Mother's Day” by Anne Lamott

The author of the classic writing text Bird by Bird digs into her views on motherhood in this piece from Salon. At once a personal narrative and a cultural commentary, Lamott explores the harmful effects that Mother’s Day may have on society —how its blind reverence to the concept of motherhood erases women’s agency and freedom to be flawed human beings. 

Lamott points out that not all mothers are good, not everyone has a living mother to celebrate, and some mothers have lost their children, so have no one to celebrate with them. More importantly, she notes how this Hallmark holiday erases all the people who helped raise a woman, a long chain of mothers and fathers, friends and found family, who enable her to become a mother. While it isn’t anchored to a single story or event (like many classic personal narratives), Lamott’s exploration of her opinions creates a story about a culture that puts mothers on an impossible pedestal. 

In a personal narrative essay, lived experience can be almost as valid as peer-reviewed research—so long as you avoid making unfounded assumptions. While some might point out that this is merely an opinion piece, Lamott cannily starts the essay by grounding it in the personal, revealing how she did not raise her son to celebrate Mother’s Day. This detail, however small, invites the reader into her private life and frames this essay as a story about her —and not just an exercise in being contrary.

3. “The Crane Wife” by CJ Hauser 

Days after breaking off her engagement with her fiance, CJ Hauser joins a scientific expedition on the Texas coast r esearching whooping cranes . In this new environment, she reflects on the toxic relationship she left and how she found herself in this situation. She pulls together many seemingly disparate threads, using the expedition and the Japanese myth of the crane wife as a metaphor for her struggles. 

Hauser’s interactions with the other volunteer researchers expand the scope of the narrative from her own mind, reminding her of the compassion she lacked in her relationship. In her attempts to make herself smaller, less needy, to please her fiance, she lost sight of herself and almost signed up to live someone else’s life, but among the whooping cranes of Texas, she takes the first step in reconnecting with herself.

With short personal narratives, there isn’t as much room to develop characters as you might have in a memoir so the details you do provide need to be clear and specific. Each of the volunteer researchers on Hauser’s expedition are distinct and recognizable though Hauser is economical in her descriptions. 

For example, Hauser describes one researcher as “an eighty-four-year-old bachelor from Minnesota. He could not do most of the physical activities required by the trip, but had been on ninety-five Earthwatch expeditions, including this one once before. Warren liked birds okay. What Warren really loved was cocktail hour.” 

In a few sentences, we get a clear picture of Warren's fun-loving, gregarious personality and how he fits in with the rest of the group.

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4. “The Trash Heap Has Spoken” by Carmen Maria Machado

The films and TV shows of the 80s and 90s—cultural touchstones that practically raised a generation—hardly ever featured larger women on screen. And if they did, it was either as a villain or a literal trash heap. Carmen Maria Machado grew up watching these cartoons, and the absence of fat women didn’t faze her. Not until puberty hit and she went from a skinny kid to a fuller-figured teen. Suddenly uncomfortable in her skin, she struggled to find any positive representation in her favorite media.

As she gets older and more comfortable in her own body, Machado finds inspiration in Marjory the Trash Heap from Fraggle Rock and Ursula, everyone’s favorite sea witch from The Little Mermaid —characters with endless power in the unapologetic ways they inhabit their bodies. As Machado considers her own body through the years, it’s these characters she returns to as she faces society’s unkind, dismissive attitudes towards fat women.

Stories shape the world, even if they’re fictional. Some writers strive for realism, reflecting the world back on itself in all its ugliness, but Carmen Maria Machado makes a different point. There is power in being imaginative and writing the world as it could be, imagining something bigger, better, and more beautiful. So, write the story you want to see, change the narrative, look at it sideways, and show your readers how the world could look. 

5. “Am I Disabled?” by Joanne Limburg 

The titular question frames the narrative of Joanne Limburg’s essay as she considers the implications of disclosing her autism. What to some might seem a mundane occurrence—ticking ‘yes’, ‘no’, or ‘prefer not to say’ on a bureaucratic form—elicits both philosophical and practical questions for Limburg about what it means to be disabled and how disability is viewed by the majority of society. 

Is the labor of disclosing her autism worth the insensitive questions she has to answer? What definition are people seeking, exactly? Will anyone believe her if she says yes? As she dissects the question of what disability is, she explores the very real personal effects this has on her life and those of other disabled people. 

Limburg’s essay is written in a style known as the hermit crab essay , when an author uses an existing document form to contain their story. You can format your writing as a recipe, a job application, a resume, an email, or a to-do list – the possibilities are as endless as your creativity. The format you choose is important, though. It should connect in some way to the story you’re telling and add something to the reader’s experience as well as your overall theme. 

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6. “Living Like Weasels” by Annie Dillard

While out on a walk in the woods behind her house, Annie Dillard encounters a wild weasel. In the short moment when they make eye contact, Dillard takes an imaginary journey through the weasel’s mind and wonders if the weasel’s approach to life is better than her own. 

The weasel, as Dillard sees it, is a wild creature with jaws so powerful that when it clamps on to something, it won’t let go, even into death. Necessity drives it to be like this, and humanity, obsessed with choice, might think this kind of life is limiting, but the writer believes otherwise. The weasel’s necessity is the ultimate freedom, as long as you can find the right sort, the kind that will have you holding on for dear life and refusing to let go. 

Make yourself the National Geographic explorer of your backyard or neighborhood and see what you can learn about yourself from what you discover. Annie Dillard, queen of the natural personal essay, discovers a lot about herself and her beliefs when meeting a weasel.

What insight can you glean from a blade of grass, for example? Does it remind you that despite how similar people might be, we are all unique? Do the flights of migrating birds give you perspective on the changes in your own life? Nature is a potent and never-ending spring of inspiration if you only think to look. 

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7. “Love In Our Seventies” by Ellery Akers

“ And sometimes, when I lift the gray hair at the back of your neck and kiss your shoulder, I think, This is it.”

In under 400 words, poet Ellery Akers captures the joy she has found in discovering romance as a 75-year-old . The language is romantic, but her imagery is far from saccharine as she describes their daily life and the various states in which they’ve seen each other: in their pajamas, after cataract surgeries, while meditating. In each singular moment, Akers sees something she loves, underscoring an oft-forgotten truth. Love is most potent in its smallest gestures.  

Personal narrative isn’t a defined genre with rigid rules, so your essay doesn’t have to be an essay. It can be a poem, as Akers’ is. The limitations of this form can lead to greater creativity as you’re trying to find a short yet evocative way to tell a story. It allows you to focus deeply on the emotions behind an idea and create an intimate connection with your reader. 

8. “What a Black Woman Wishes Her Adoptive White Parents Knew” by Mariama Lockington

Mariama Lockington was adopted by her white parents in the early 80s, long before it was “trendy” for white people to adopt black children. Starting with a family photograph, the writer explores her complex feelings about her upbringing , the many ways her parents ignored her race for their own comfort, and how she came to feel like an outsider in her own home. In describing her childhood snapshots, she takes the reader from infancy to adulthood as she navigates trying to live as a black woman in a white family. 

Lockington takes us on a journey through her life through a series of vignettes. These small, important moments serve as a framing device, intertwining to create a larger narrative about race, family, and belonging. 

With this framing device, it’s easy to imagine Lockington poring over a photo album, each picture conjuring a different memory and infusing her story with equal parts sadness, regret, and nostalgia. You can create a similar effect by separating your narrative into different songs to create an album or episodes in a TV show. A unique structure can add an extra layer to your narrative and enhance the overall story.

9. “Drinking Chai to Savannah” by Anjali Enjeti

On a trip to Savannah with her friends, Anjali Enjeti is reminded of a racist incident she experienced as a teenager . The memory is prompted by her discomfort of traveling in Georgia as a South Asian woman and her friends’ seeming obliviousness to how others view them. As she recalls the tense and traumatic encounter she had in line at a Wendy’s and the worry she experiences in Savannah, Enjeti reflects on her understanding of otherness and race in America. 

Enjeti paints the scene in Wendy’s with a deft hand. Using descriptive language, she invokes the five senses to capture the stress and fear she felt when the men in line behind her were hurling racist sentiments. 

She writes, “He moves closer. His shadow eclipses mine. His hot, tobacco-tinged breath seeps over the collar of my dress.” The strong, evocative language she uses brings the reader into the scene and has them experience the same anxiety she does, understanding why this incident deeply impacted her. 

10. “Siri Tells A Joke” by Debra Gwartney

One day, Debra Gwartney asks Siri—her iPhone’s digital assistant—to tell her a joke. In reply, Siri recites a joke with a familiar setup about three men stuck on a desert island. When the punchline comes, Gwartney reacts not with laughter, but with a memory of her husband , who had died less than six months prior.

In a short period, Gwartney goes through a series of losses—first, her house and her husband’s writing archives to a wildfire, and only a month after, her husband. As she reflects on death and the grief of those left behind in the wake of it, she recounts the months leading up to her husband’s passing and the interminable stretch after as she tries to find a way to live without him even as she longs for him. 

A joke about three men on a deserted island seems like an odd setup for an essay about grief. However, Gwartney uses it to great effect, coming back to it later in the story and giving it greater meaning. By the end of her piece, she recontextualizes the joke, the original punchline suddenly becoming deeply sad. In taking something seemingly unrelated and calling back to it later, the essay’s message about grief and love becomes even more powerful.

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Home » Articles » Balance » Personal Growth » 10 Ways to Bring Joy into Your Life

10 Ways to Bring Joy into Your Life

Mark W. Merrill

• Personal Growth

Studies show a toddler will laugh an average of 200 times a day. But, by the time he becomes an adult, he will only smile 6 times daily. What will happen? Most likely, he will get steamrolled by the pressures of life. Only a few know how to find joy through faith in God, enjoying the simple things in life, and making family time a priority and not getting caught up in materialism.

If this is a personal struggle for you, here are 10 ways to bring joy back into your life.

1. Simplify

Over time we become maxed out in capacity. It leaves us stressed and unable to be productive. Streamline your life on occasion the same as you would that closet. Drop the things you are holding on to that are no longer necessary or fit who you are. Time is limited and so are you. Simplify your priorities.

2. Perspective

At times, we tend to only see the negative around us. Let’s gain a new perspective and really start picking out all the blessings we have been given. Joy surrounds us even at our darkest moments. Open your senses and receive it. Cultivate an attitude of thankfulness.

During any season, no matter where you are, nature is a great place to go to experience joy. Go hiking, ride a bike, or if you are married, simply walk hand in hand with your beautiful wife. Get outside and fill your spirit and lungs with this amazing creation we call earth.

One thing children are very good at is finding ways to have fun. Get in there and mix it up with your kids. Make funny noises. Laugh at ridiculous things.

We are not all fortunate enough to make a living doing a job we feel deep passion about. Find your passion elsewhere. What makes you come alive? Carve out time to do it.

6. Let It Go

Work on the things that are in your control. Worries can be awfully heavy . Work on the things that are in your control. Do what you can do and let your worries go.

Make time to pursue friendships on a regular basis. Try to find people you can be open with. Life is meant to be shared.

8. Challenges

When you have challenges in your life, realize that it is an opportunity for growth. Use those moments to strengthen your character and resolve.

9. Activity

Get your blood pumping by being active. Go throw the football outside with your son. Take your daughter to get ice cream after dinner and then window shop. Work out. Take a walk.

I believe we have a Father in heaven who loves us. One who cares for us just as you do with your own children, in fact, even more so. Try talking to God about your life. Seek His will for your direction and purpose.

Sound off: What in your life brings you joy?

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Find Little Joys to Improve Your Day

It seems that ever since the Pandemic, a day doesn’t go by without someone mentioning how our mental health has been affected. Many of us feel that our stress levels are elevated. The Mayo Clinic reports that 27% of adults in the U.S. are so stressed most days that they are unable to function. And more than 75% experienced at least one stress-related symptom in the last month, such as headache, fatigue, nervousness, or feeling depressed.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, there are things you can do to improve your day. We know that joy is a powerful emotion. If we can grab onto joy, we may find a remedy for stress-related burnout! Contentment and joy can positively improve physical and mental health, and overall well-being.

It’s easy to confuse the emotions of joy and happiness because they often are experienced at the same time. However, there are some nuances that distinguish the difference. Happiness is the emotional reaction to what happens around you. Joy isn’t a reaction. It is driven by internal motivations such as working toward a goal or finding a purpose in life.

Dr. Rebekkah Frunzac, general surgeon and Chief Wellness Officer at the Mayo Clinic Health System states that, “Happiness is an emotion, whereas joy is more a state of being.” She also adds, “When you are joyful, it doesn’t mean you are always giddy or happy. But it means you can appreciate moments of happiness within the bigger context of life.”

Joy looks different to each person and can be found in everyday situations. Some people find joy in caring for others, in spiritual connections, in spending time in nature, or in continually learning. Others discover joy in different activities, relationships, or personal empowerment. Having activities or a purpose replenishes physical and emotional energy and helps us to be  resilient when times become tough.

Here are a few suggestions for building, cultivating and sustaining joy in your life:

• Focus on what you can control – Focus your time and attention on things you can control. Write down the details of a stressful situation and outline which aspects are within and outside your control. Then, make an intentional decision to shift your attention to things you can change, including your attitude.
• Express gratitude – Show appreciation for things and people around you. Send positive thoughts to someone special, write a text message to a friend, or list three things you are grateful for each day. Practicing this daily helps you focus on appreciation and blessings instead of problems and challenges.
• Assume good intent – Have a positive attitude and approach every problem as though you are sitting on the same side of the table, working together. This is better than working against each other, and you will find common ground and fulfillment.
• Concentrate on building relationships – All people need social connections with others. For many, helping to lift others’ spirits creates a sense of purpose and joy. If building healthy relationships is at the core of your efforts, you can find happiness and joy in your life.

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