ivy league essay costco

Essay About Love for Costco Wins Student Admission to Five Ivies

A college essay about one teen's drive to explore life — as well as her deep and abiding love for Costco — has won over admissions counselors at six of the most prestigious schools in the U.S.

Brittany Stinson, an 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, found out last week that she got into five Ivy League universities — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell — as well as the similarly competitive Stanford.

Stinson, the only child of Terry and Joe Stinson, neither of whom are Ivy League nor Stanford graduates themselves, wants to be a doctor, and her mother says she has always been a strong student.

Special section: Get tips and advice about college at College Game Plan

“She’s always gotten straight As, takes the most rigorous courses she can, and is first in her class,” Terry Stinson, a Brazilian immigrant who became an American citizen only a few years ago, told NBC News.

Aside from her academics, Stinson's unusual essay made her college application stand out.

In response to the essay question, which asks students to share a "background, identity, interest or talent that is so meaningful," their application would be incomplete without it, Stinson described her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse — and how "the kingdom of Costco" was symbolic of so much more in her life.

“Just as I sampled buffalo ­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote. “I sampled calculus, cross-­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world.”

Writing about Costco felt natural to her, she told NBC News.

“I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I Iooked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she said.

While it was risky to write about something so outlandish, Stinson felt like she needed something to stand out amid other applicants with similar grades, extracurriculars, and SAT scores.

“I couldn’t afford to go via the traditional route. I would actually be more worried about taking a traditional route at the risk of blending in with other applicants,” Stinson said. “I knew that writing about my experiences at Costco would at least make for a memorable essay, whether [admissions committees] loved or hated it. On another hand, I felt that the essay ended up being such an accurate representation of me and my personality.”

Related: After Bouncing Between Foster Homes, Golf Caddie Gets Full Ride to College

Stinson’s father, Joe, said he believes his daughter’s greatest strengths are “her fortitude and tenacity, to choose among many.” Her English teacher for the past two years, Leslie Wagner of Concord High School, says writing is one of those strengths too.

“Brittany has always had a knack for finding just the right phrase. She has a quiet demeanor overall, but in her writing her wit and her skill with language is quite apparent,” Wagner told NBC News.

Now, Stinson has a tough choice ahead of her. She said she has “no clue” which of the universities that admitted her she will choose.

“Admitted student day visits are going to be so vital. We’ll also be comparing financial aid packages,” she said.

Read Brittany Stinson's full essay below, reprinted with her permission:

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­-sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco.

Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight-­loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­-mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia's workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender.

I adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.

My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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A high schooler was accepted to five Ivy League colleges with an essay about Costco

It took just a few short hours on Apr. 1 for Concord High School senior Brittany Stinson to go viral. Not because she staged an epic prank—though more than a few skeptics assumed that her sudden notoriety was an April Fool’s Day fakeout—but for her very real, decidedly eccentric college applications essay that helped garner her admission to five Ivy League colleges and Stanford University.

The essay isn’t your typical exercise in academic humblebragging or lofty save-the-world aspiration: It’s a nostalgic, free-form musing on the  joys of shopping at Costco with her mom . And while it shows a young essayist’s tendency to overwrite (the Achilles heel of some of us older wordsmiths as well), it also provides insight into a mind that takes creative risks and thinks with expansive originality.

Coming as it does in the thick of a heated debate over  “holistic” evaluation standards  at elite colleges—admissions practices that extend beyond comparing grades and scores to include assessments of character and the impact of background and cultural identity on a student’s academic journey—Stinson’s essay has generated a whirling array of reactions. After being posted on Business Insider last week, her essay was read over a million times and shared many thousands more on social media.

Many have found it charming and compelling, while others have attacked it as an example of the antics holistic admissions practices encourage among applicants hoping to stand out. The truth is, these two opinions aren’t mutually exclusive. Stinson’s SAT scores were in the high 90-something percentile (she wouldn’t say exactly her score) and she’s on track to graduate as her class’s valedictorian. Meanwhile, she participated in highly competitive STEM programs, loaded up on AP classes, was a competitive cross-country runner, and an active participant in her local community.

“I’d definitely fit in with the nerds, although the kids at our school would probably categorize us as the overachievers, instead,” Stinson says. “I’d like to study neuroscience in college. I volunteered in a research lab working on a genetics project at the University of Delaware. This was one of my favorite extracurriculars. I’m definitely pursuing research in college.”

All of these factors mark her as a strong candidate for an elite university. Of course, tens of thousands of other applicants had similarly outstanding academic and extracurricular profiles this year. Stinson’s essay, however, must have suggested to schools that she would bring with her a unique and interesting point of view.

Stinson acknowledges that her status as the daughter of a Brazilian immigrant mother who identifies as black, and a white US-born father, likely gave her admissions case a boost.

“I did declare my race and ethnicity on my applications. I think my background likely made my application stand out and impacted it positively,” she says, noting that she is also a proponent of affirmative action policies. “Many who criticize affirmative action think that nearly all minority admitted students are somehow less qualified, undeserving, or that ‘they took a spot’ from a more deserving non-minority student. I think that affirmative action makes a well-qualified minority student stand out, but it will never cause an unqualified student to be admitted. Non-minorities are still benefiting from a system built in their favor.”

At the same time, as clearly evidenced by Stinson, striving for diversity isn’t just about redress for past and present inequities. It’s also about bringing together a group of people with different ways of looking at the world—people who will spend four or more years side by side, learning from and being shaped by fresh and unique perspectives.

”College is a place where we learn just as much outside the classroom as we do inside,” says Stinson. “By being exposed to people of different races, socioeconomic backgrounds, cultures, and religions, we can learn from their experiences. Diversity enriches an education.”

While surprised that her essay has received so much attention, Stinson said she thinks it may have resonated because of the universality of its thesis.

“I’ve seen negative comments online from people who weren’t familiar with the literary devices I was trying to use. I’ve seen people say that it’s ‘ridiculous’ that my essay involved Costco, but I don’t think they’ve even scratched the surface,” she says. “They think that in order for an essay to have depth, it needs to involve tragedy, inspiration, or overcoming adversity. I don’t know if many applicants usually explore the mundane in their essays—that seems to have taken a lot of people by surprise. I thought that this essay was a genuine representation of myself: I’m a sarcastic, dorky weirdo with a passion for science and I tried to demonstrate that I’m the kind of person who finds meaning in seemingly ordinary things.”

Which might well be the perfect summary of the college experience: It’s a chapter in life during which young people go off to find meaning in seemingly ordinary things—most particularly, in other people.

For universities, this means recruiting student bodies that represent the best and brightest of a world of worlds: Diversity of heritage and faith, of nationality and culture, of class and familial background, and yes, of race and ethnicity.

Evaluating students by scores and grades alone can’t deliver on that promise. Only by understanding the person behind the scholarly achievements, and the context in which they were earned, can universities build a student body that reflects the kaleidoscopic array of ideas, traditions, and perspectives of our increasingly global society. Which means that those who  attack holistic admissions  fail to recognize that diversity isn’t an irrelevant factor in the making of an elite college education—it is, as Stinson points out, the very thing that makes these schools worth attending.

Here is Stinson’s essay, republished below with her permission:

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother’s eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon-­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree. I sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­ sized freezers, to explore every crevice. I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco. Notorious for its oversized portions and dollar-­fifty hot dog combo, Costco is the apex of consumerism. From the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when I was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. As a veteran Costco shopper, I navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. Over time, I’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­-loss supplements. Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity.

While enjoying an obligatory hot dog, I did not find myself thinking about the “all beef” goodness that Costco boasted. I instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will? I experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. With a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52-inch plasma screen TV and all. Purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about Andrew Jackson’s controversiality. There was no questioning Old Hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits—qualities I am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. We both found the ham to be more likable–and tender. I adopted my exploratory skills, fine-tuned by Costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. Just as I sampled buffalo­-chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. I sampled calculus, cross­-country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world. Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. My intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. Costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. Encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, I find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; I want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. In essence, I subsist on discovery.

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A high school senior who got into 5 Ivy League schools and Stanford reveals how she chose her essay topic

Editor's note: A high school senior named Brittany Stinson earned the education world's attention in April 2016 with a unique college application essay set at Costco.

With early admission deadlines looming, Business Insider decided to republish her timeless advice below.

High-school senior Brittany Stinson learned on Tuesday that she was accepted into five Ivy League schools: Yale, Columbia, the University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell.

She also got into Stanford, which has an acceptance rate of 4.69% — a lower rate than any of the Ivy League schools.

Stinson shared her Common Application essay with Business Insider at the time, which we published  in full here .

It was a lighthearted reflection of her inquisitive personality, told against a backdrop of her childhood trips to Costco.

Related stories

Stinson explained how she chose her topic.

"Before I even started writing an essay, I read a quote from an admissions officer that said if your essay is on the ground and there is no name on it and one of your friends picks it up, they should know that you wrote it," she said. "I used that to help guide me."

Stinson also acknowledged the difficulty of expressing herself in fewer than 1,000 words.

With that in mind, Stinson said, "I really tried to think of my defining qualities, and narrowed it down to one or two qualities I wanted to convey to admissions officers."

In the end, Stinson used a playful tone to convey those qualities. At one point, she said that her purchase of a hickory-smoked ham at Costco spurred a conversation between her and her father about the controversial nature of former US President Andrew Jackson — aka "Old Hickory."

This humorous approach likely distinguished her essay from the thousands of others Yale and other schools received.

"I knew I was capable of weaving in humor into the essay," she said, "and I knew that with kids that have similar extracurriculars and scores, you need to stand out when it comes to the essay."

Watch: Asian-American groups are saying affirmative action hurts their chances to get into Ivy League schools

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A Teen Got Into 5 Ivy League Schools With This College Essay About Costco

From Seventeen

High school senior Brittany Stinson wrote about her passion in her college essay, and it got her into five Ivy League schools.

Her passion just happens to be wholesale warehouse Costco.

The prompt instructed applicants to write about "a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it." So, Brittany wrote about trips to Costco with her family, and now her essay is going viral.

"Costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life ... I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples. Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco," she writes in the essay , reprinted with her permission on Business Insider . " Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart? Costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity."

Brittany, who in addition to being a great writer is also a straight-A student, told NBC News she doesn't know yet which school she'll attend but that she wants to be a doctor. Brittany was accepted to Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, and Cornell - as well as Stanford.

"I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I Iooked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts," she told the outlet. "I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life."

We'll leave you with this deep nugget from the essay:

" If there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will."

Update 4:25 p.m.: A Costco spokesperson tells Seventeen.com: "We are flattered that Brittany would choose Costco as the backdrop for her entrance essay and wish her the very best as she considers these exceptional universities."

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A girl got into five ivy league schools by writing an essay about costco.

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Student Accepted Into 5 Ivy League Schools After Penning Essay About Her Love of Costco

Brittany Stinson, 18, won over admissions with her unique essay.

— -- One student credits her essay about her love of Costco for the reason she was accepted into five Ivy League universities, among others.

Brittany Stinson, 18, a high school senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, was accepted into Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Yale and University of Pennsylvania.

The teen said she thinks what set her apart from other applicants was the essay in her college application that detailed her love of Costco.

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The essay prompt that Stinson responded to asked students to share "a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it."

Stinson's essay began, "Managing to break free from my mother's grasp, I charged. With arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, I was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through Costco on a Saturday morning. My mother's eyes widened in horror as I jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while I continued my spree."

"I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples," it continued. "Before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, I scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of Costco."

Stinson said she was inspired to write about the big-box store because she wanted her applications to be unique.

"The essay is really where it's important to show your personality and what gets you going," she told ABC News. "I knew that an essay about Costco would certainly be memorable -- whether the admissions' officer liked it or not."

Stinson was accepted into five Ivy League institutions, along with prestigious schools such as Stanford, Johns Hopkins, Northwestern, Boston University and New York University, which she said was her safety school.

It also didn't hurt that Stinson had a 4.0 GPA, took eight Advanced Placement classes, was the vice president of the Science Honors Society and the president of the National Honors Society at her school. The teen said she also volunteers at a local hospital and worked with a University of Delaware professor on a genetics research project.

Stinson told ABC News she'll decide which college she'll attend after doing campus tours later this month, but so far she really likes Yale, Stanford or Dartmouth.

For now, she has decided on a major: Neuroscience.

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Costco essay gets local girl into 5 Ivy League schools

There are legions of fans who are legitimately obsessed with club stores - the free samples, the oversized everything, the thrill of buying in bulk.

But there's one teen in Delaware whose lifelong obsession with Costco not only shaped her life, but may have helped her get into not one, but 5 Ivy League schools.

Brittany Stinson's college essay contained quirky ponderings such as, "Is cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart?" And, "If there exists a 33 ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?"

Good question!

Stinson, a senior at Concord High School, has received acceptance letters to some of the nation's top schools - including Yale, Columbia, Penn, Dartmouth, and Cornell.

And besides her 4.9 GPA (yes, that's a thing) and other accomplishments, some speculate that her clever ode to Costco, and how it sculpted her enquiring young mind, is what pushed her past the pack.

Stinson explains, "What I was afraid about was being cliché, and I wanted to take it out of the box. There would be people with similar GPAs and I needed something to differentiate myself."

Well, it seems it worked!

Brittany says she plans to study neuroscience and is leaning towards Yale or Stanford.

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Student Gets Into 5 Ivies With College Essay About Love for Costco

Published april 6, 2016 • updated on april 6, 2016 at 2:39 pm.

An 18-year-old senior at Concord High School in Wilmington, Delaware, was accepted into five Ivy League schools and another prestigious university after writing a "memorable essay" describing her admiration for America's largest wholesale warehouse, NBC News reported.

Brittany Stinson got into Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth, Cornell and Stanford. The straight-A student tells NBC News that writing about Costco felt natural to her.

"I had always gone to Costco while growing up. It was a constant part of my childhood. I looked forward to trips on the weekends, and I had always treated it as a Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place. The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life," Stinson said. 

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This teen’s comic essay about costco got her into five ivy league schools.

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No need to be an all-American athlete and lead in the high school musical who’s able to recite Chaucer in perfect Middle English to get into an Ivy League school — just head to Costco!

A Delaware teen got into five Ivies — Yale, Columbia, University of Pennsylvania, Dartmouth and Cornell — after penning an essay about her admiration for America’s largest members-only wholesale club.

Brittany Stinson’s 655-word ode to Costco was a response to a Common Application admissions essay question that asked applicants to share something that was so important that their lives would feel “incomplete without it.”

“I had always gone to Costco growing up — it was a constant part of my childhood,” the 17-year-old told NBC News. “I looked forward to trips on the weekends and I had always treated it as Disneyland of sorts. I was always curious about the place.”

“The same attitude carried over to everything I tried in life,” she added.

Stinson opened the essay, which she released in full to Business Insider , with her earliest memories of going grocery shopping with her mother.

“Overcome with wonder, I wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrialized freezers, to explore every crevice,” she wrote. “I was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for El Dorado, I scoured aisles for free samples.”

‘If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?’  - Brittany Stinson

As she got older, she began thinking more metaphysically about the weekly trips.

“I contemplated the philosophical: If there exists a thirty-three ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?” she asked.

Stinson said she often found herself lost in thought about the bulk sizes Costco offered its customers — crediting the nationwide chain with kickstarting her “unfettered curiosity” in life.

“Perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. Who needs three pounds of sour cream? Was cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart?”

The variety of options on the shelves also enhanced her exploratory skills.

“Just as I sampled buffalo chicken dip or chocolate truffles, I probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart — one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious,” she wrote.

“With cart in hand, I do what scares me; I absorb the warehouse that is the world,” she continued. “Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest.”

The straight-A student from Wilmington found out last week that she got into the Ivies — along with a sixth top-tier school, Stanford — that have acceptance rates ranging from Stanford’s 4.69 percent to Cornell’s 13.96 percent.

“Incredibly difficult decisions soon to come,” she wrote on her Facebook page last Thursday.

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Costco essay gets girl into 5 Ivy League schools

WILMINGTON, DE -- There are legions of fans who are legitimately obsessed with club stores - the free samples, the oversized everything, the thrill of buying in bulk.

But there's one teen in Delaware whose lifelong obsession with Costco not only shaped her life, but may have helped her get into not one, but five Ivy League schools.

Brittany Stinson's college essay contained quirky ponderings such as, "Is cultured yogurt any more well-mannered than its uncultured counterpart?" And, "If there exists a 33 ounce jar of Nutella, do we really have free will?"

Good question!

Stinson, a senior at Concord High School, has received acceptance letters to some of the nation's top schools - including Yale, Columbia, Penn, Dartmouth, and Cornell.

And besides her 4.9 GPA (yes, that's a thing) and other accomplishments, some speculate that her clever ode to Costco, and how it sculpted her enquiring young mind, is what pushed her past the pack.

Stinson explains, "What I was afraid about was being cliché, and I wanted to take it out of the box. There would be people with similar GPAs and I needed something to differentiate myself."

Well, it seems it worked!

Brittany says she plans to study neuroscience and is leaning towards Yale or Stanford.

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Lessons from a Winning Ivy League Essay on Costco

by j9robinson | Apr 2, 2016

Viral Costco Essay Writer Thanks Essay Hell!

Read brittany stinson’s college application essay that landed her in four ivies—plus stanford.

I can’t resist the news stories that break this time of year announcing students who get into multiple ivy league colleges.

What I find interesting is that these articles tout the student’s college application essay as the reason they got them into these insanely competitive schools.

It’s never that simple.

Yes, an outstanding college application essay can give a student an edge in their admissions chances—especially at the prestige colleges.

But to even be considered, applicants must first display off-the-charts grades, test scores, extracurriculars, the whole ultimate student package.

I believe the essay comes into play when a school ends up with a pile of dream applicants who all start to look alike.

So how do they pick?

That’s why it’s fun to get a peek at a so-called Ivy League essay, such as the one written by Brittany Stinson. She got into five ivies and Stanford (which has a lower acceptance rate than the ivies) this month, according to an article in Business Insider .

RELATED : Read Essay Hell’s Q&A with Brittany Where She Gives Tips and Advice on How She Wrote the Costco Essay!

How did Brittany’s essay set her apart?

Did she craft some brainy, intellectual tome about current-day politics or world thought?

Or was it a heady analytical piece on climate change or quantum physics?

No. Not even close.

She wrote her “Ivy League Essay” about Costco. And hot dogs.

I believe Brittany’s essay was effective because she followed many of the narrative-writing tips and advice I give my students on how to write effective essays.

UPDATE : I just learned that Brittany did actually use Essay Hell to help learn how to craft her now-famous essay. Here’s the comment she left after I shared this post:

Above all, Brittany used a narrative (storytelling) format in her essay, and engaged her reader at the start by using the writing technique called an anecdote.

In her anecdote, she recounted her real-life moments and experiences using a fiction-writing style so you could see her in action ( Show instead of Tell ).

She also  took a risk on her topic .

Instead of trying to impress her readers, she wrote about something “mundane” or everyday.

The Topic of Brittany’s Ivy League Essay

What’s more ordinary that Costco and hot dogs?

Brittany used Costco as a metaphor to the larger world, which is a classic writing device.

With that everyday topic, she was able to maintain a light, conversational style and playful language that allowed her teenage voice and sense of humor to shine through.

You almost couldn’t help but like her —a big factor in an effective essay.

Brittany also gave her essay a strong focus by highlighting one of her defining qualities : her curiosity. (As opposed to trying to cover too much about herself.)

She  dubbed herself an explorer, and escorted us through her childhood experiences at Costco that sparked her wonder and curiosity.

She then brought us up to her high school years and showed us how that sense of wonder shifted into more weighty areas, such as school and her other passions.

My point with sharing Brittany’s essay is not to hold it out as the exact essay that can get you into an ivy league school. (In fact, like all of these college application essays, it has its flaws and weaknesses.)

Instead, I want you to see that you can also write an equally engaging and meaningful essay using the same approach.

Start by finding one of your defining qualities or characteristics that you can showcase in your essay.

Then think of a moment or experience to start your essay (using an anecdote) that will grab the reader at the start.

Trust that a mundane or everyday topic will work beautifully, and let go of trying to be impressive.

Work in details about your life and interests. Be specific.

See what Brittany wove into her essay about herself in this single sentence:

Whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, I am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. 

No one can promise that your essay will get you into a prestige school.

But what a good one can do is help your target colleges get a clear picture of who you are, what sets you apart from other students and how you would fit into their school.

Where you end up will depend on the complete package you present your schools, and a lot of other highly subjective factors as well.

So don’t fret about your essay, or write one exactly like Brittany’s or try to game the decision-making process.

The best thing you can do is find a topic that is original and true to you, and learn some narrative writing techniques to help you tell your story and explain what it means to you.

Here’s Brittany’s Ivy League essay that she submitted to the Common Application (from Business Insider ):

Prompt 1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Managing to break free from my mother’s grasp, i charged. with arms flailing and chubby legs fluttering beneath me, i was the ferocious two­ year old rampaging through costco on a saturday morning. my mother’s eyes widened in horror as i jettisoned my churro; the cinnamon­sugar rocket gracefully sliced its way through the air while i continued my spree. i sprinted through the aisles, looking up in awe at the massive bulk products that towered over me. overcome with wonder, i wanted to touch and taste, to stick my head into industrial­sized freezers, to explore every crevice. i was a conquistador, but rather than searching the land for el dorado, i scoured aisles for free samples. before inevitably being whisked away into a shopping cart, i scaled a mountain of plush toys and surveyed the expanse that lay before me: the kingdom of costco. , notorious for its oversized portions and dollar­fifty hot dog combo, costco is the apex of consumerism. from the days spent being toted around in a shopping cart to when i was finally tall enough to reach lofty sample trays, costco has endured a steady presence throughout my life. as a veteran costco shopper, i navigate the aisles of foodstuffs, thrusting the majority of my weight upon a generously filled shopping cart whose enormity juxtaposes my small frame. over time, i’ve developed a habit of observing fellow patrons tote their carts piled with frozen burritos, cheese puffs, tubs of ice cream, and weight­loss supplements. perusing the aisles gave me time to ponder. who needs three pounds of sour cream was cultured yogurt any more well­mannered than its uncultured counterpart costco gave birth to my unfettered curiosity. , while enjoying an obligatory hot dog, i did not find myself thinking about the ‘all beef’ goodness that costco boasted. i instead considered finitudes and infinitudes, unimagined uses for tubs of sour cream, the projectile motion of said tub when launched from an eighty foot shelf or maybe when pushed from a speedy cart by a scrawny seventeen year old. i contemplated the philosophical: if there exists a thirty­three ounce jar of nutella, do we really have free will i experienced a harsh physics lesson while observing a shopper who had no evident familiarity of inertia’s workings. with a cart filled to overflowing, she made her way towards the sloped exit, continuing to push and push while steadily losing control until the cart escaped her and went crashing into a concrete column, 52” plasma screen tv and all. purchasing the yuletide hickory smoked ham inevitably led to a conversation between my father and me about andrew jackson’s controversiality. there was no questioning old hickory’s dedication; he was steadfast in his beliefs and pursuits – qualities i am compelled to admire, yet his morals were crooked. we both found the ham to be more likeable–and tender., i adopted my exploratory skills, fine tuned by costco, towards my intellectual endeavors. just as i sampled buffalo­chicken dip or chocolate truffles, i probed the realms of history, dance and biology, all in pursuit of the ideal cart–one overflowing with theoretical situations and notions both silly and serious. i sampled calculus, cross­country running, scientific research, all of which are now household favorites. with cart in hand, i do what scares me; i absorb the warehouse that is the world. whether it be through attempting aerial yoga, learning how to chart blackbody radiation using astronomical software, or dancing in front of hundreds of people, i am compelled to try any activity that interests me in the slightest. , my intense desire to know, to explore beyond the bounds of rational thought; this is what defines me. costco fuels my insatiability and cultivates curiosity within me at a cellular level. encoded to immerse myself in the unknown, i find it difficult to complacently accept the “what”; i want to hunt for the “whys” and dissect the “hows”. in essence, i subsist on discovery..

Ready to learn how to write your own Ivy League Essay, or a killer college application essay that will help set you apart from the pack?

Start my post on How to Write a College Application Essay in 3 Steps.

Here’s another article on the Costco Admissions Essay that actually mentions me and Essay Hell!

If you found this post helpful, please share with your friends!

So, of course, I have to read the essay for myself.

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Hi! This is Brittany! The girl who wrote the essay above. Funnily enough, I actually used this website to help guide a lot of my application essays, including this one. So I guess this would be the perfect opportunity to say thank you! I feel like my essays definitely strengthened my entire application.

Hi Brittany, How great to hear from you! I’m so happy I get to tell you CONGRATULATIONS directly! I think your essay will inspire other students to tell their unique stories as well. That’s so cool that you found help on Essay Hell. That makes my day! As you can tell in my post, I did find a lot of the writing devices and techniques in your essay that I try to teach students on this site. haha. If you have the time and energy to share any more of what you learned in your application process, let me know and we can put together a guest post. I would love to know how you came up with the Costco topic. Anyway, way to go!! Do you know which school you plan to attend, or are you still debating? That could be a hard choice! No matter where you end up going, I’m sure you will have an awesome experience. Just make sure there’s a Costco nearby. 🙂 Janine

I’d love to do a guest post! Just sent you an email. Oh, and I’m still undecided, I certainly have a tough choice ahead of me. Yale, Columbia, Cornell, Penn, Dartmouth and Stanford are all such amazing schools that appeal to me for different reasons.

I also tend to contemplate the effects of Costco on our society, only I scrutinize it from a 41-year-old lens. As this seemingly mature teen nostalgically dives into academic introspection, I long for the envious headspace motherhood has monopolized. For her, Costco was a springboard for exploration; for me, it is a mundane, weekly errand where I am forced to recognize my position as just another American indulging in the American Dream: The Supermarket Edition. Read more of my rebuttal essay: https://heartseverywhere.com/2016/04/11/costco-membership-club/

Hey am Simon and great to hear about this site and the great works its doing.. i would also like to know how to write the perfect essay for college admission abroad.. thanks you and I would be glad to get a helping hand. Congratulations Brittany

These are some great tips! Just curious, if I’m not too good with words(As in vocabulary), will I still be able to write such an intriguing essay?

YES!! In fact, you don’t need to use big words in these essays. Everyday language works best (writing more like you talk) to strike the right casual tone. Keep reading my other posts for more tips and ideas on how to write your awesome essay! Janine

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Students will hear from Ivies on Thursday. Will demographics change since the Supreme Court ruling against race-conscious admissions?

Some predict fewer students from underrepresented minority groups will be admitted.

Students who applied to the eight Ivy League universities, including the University of Pennsylvania and Princeton, were to find out Thursday whether they got in.

They will also be the first group of students to be admitted following the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision last year to ban the use of race as a factor in admissions decisions, forcing colleges to find new ways to achieve diversity in their classes. Many other selective colleges in the Philadelphia area, including Dickinson, Haverford, Villanova and Swarthmore, have already released their acceptance decisions. The six other Ivies expected to announce Thursday were Brown, Harvard, Yale, Columbia, Dartmouth and Cornell.

Over the next month or so, students will decide where they want to enroll. That freshman class — and, specifically, its demographics — will undoubtedly be compared with prior years’ to gauge what impact the court’s decision has had.

» READ MORE: What Philly-area schools are saying about the SCOTUS ruling to end race-based admissions in colleges

What did the Supreme Court decision say?

The court ruled in June that colleges could not use race as a factor in deciding whether students should be admitted. It overturned more than 40 years of admissions policy at many of the nation’s campuses, raising concern that it could reduce the number of Black and Latino students at many elite colleges and harm schools’ efforts to create diverse classes.

» READ MORE: Colleges are bracing for a court decision on affirmative action. Here’s what Princeton’s president is doing to prepare.

The lawsuits were brought by Students for Fair Admissions, a group founded by Edward Blum, a conservative activist who has spent years battling affirmative action policies. Plaintiffs had accused both Harvard and the University of North Carolina of discriminating against Asian and/or white students through the use of race-conscious admissions policies.

Even before the court’s decision, considering race was already barred in certain states, including California and Michigan . In those two states, some colleges have reported a decline in Black and Latino students as a result.

» READ MORE: Penn students lament SCOTUS decision on race-based admissions: ‘All of our progress is disappearing’

How did the Supreme Court decision affect the admissions process this year?

Both Penn and Princeton declined to discuss the impact, as more lawsuits are expected to be brought against colleges in the coming months and years over their admissions practices.

But Whitney Soule, dean of admissions at Penn, said in a recent interview with the school’s alumni magazine that Penn had trained staff and adapted its process to adhere to the law.

» READ MORE: Colleges should shoulder the burden of SCOTUS admissions ruling, not students, say Philly college advisers

“Do we know the race or ethnicity of applicants, like we did before? No, we don’t,” she told the Pennsylvania Gazette . “Yet we’re reading every detail that they provide, and we’re trying to understand how they see themselves and how they want to contribute.”

Penn also collaborated more with Heights Philadelphia , an organization that helps Philadelphia school students get into and through college, said Sean E. Vereen, co-president of Heights. Penn’s provost, John L. Jackson Jr., also joined the Heights board, he said.

“There is already a long partnership there, but we’re also deepening that partnership,” he said.

Adam Nguyen, whose company, Ivy Link , advises students on getting into the Ivies and other elite colleges, said many colleges introduced new or altered essay questions to learn more about applicants.

Did students of color mention their racial background in their essays?

Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. outlined in his decision a way that race still could come into play, particularly in the admissions essay portion of an application: “... nothing prohibits universities from considering an applicant’s discussion of how race affected the applicant’s life, so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability that the particular applicant can contribute to the university.”

Admissions experts said some students of color chose to write about their racial backgrounds as it related to their identities.

“There were students who spoke to it in their essays and really thought it was an important part of their identity,” Vereen said. “And I think there are some students [who had] some real trepidation ... and really did not talk about race in their application.”

Jess Lord, vice president and dean of admission and financial aid at Haverford College, said that “probably more” students “made reference to many aspects of their identity including their race and ethnicity.” But, he said, “not substantially more.”

“We did consider it in the context of students connecting their racial identity to experiences they’ve had and qualities and characteristics they had developed that were in some way connected to their racial identity or their experience with that identity,” Lord said.

Nguyen said students were advised to weigh whether including it enhanced their narrative.

“We have to take each student and their background and look at the race component in the full context of who they are and what they achieved,” he said.

Was it possible to see applicants’ race during admissions?

No, Penn’s Soule told the alumni magazine: “Anybody involved with application review and selection in Penn Admissions does not have access to any reporting or data fields that are related to race — in aggregate or at the record level. We just can’t see it.”

But the Common App, which many students use to apply to college, still gives students the option to indicate their race, but colleges are able “to hide (that is, “ suppress ”) the self-disclosed race and ethnicity information from application PDF files for both first-year and transfer applications,” a spokesperson said. “That means when they receive an application PDF from Common App, the race and ethnicity data will not be visible.”

Common App said it could not share how many colleges chose to suppress that information. Applications from underrepresented minority applicants increased 10% this year, Common App said.

When will we know the racial makeup of the incoming class?

It’s not clear when colleges will release that information. Some colleges may attain and release the information about their accepted students; others may wait until after May 1 when students declare whether they will accept the offer of admission and enroll; and others may wait even longer, until after the wait-list process when their final class is formed.

The Harvard Crimson, Harvard’s student newspaper, reported this week that the university isn’t expected to release its details until this summer.

Under federal law, colleges eventually must report the racial makeup of their classes, and that’s when a comprehensive look at colleges’ admitted classes will be possible.

“You will get data maybe in the fall,” Nguyen said.

When Penn issued a statement on its acceptance decisions last year, it did not give a racial breakdown. But the school said the group collectively represented “ the most diverse group of admitted students in Penn’s history in terms of racial and ethnic background, socioeconomic diversity ... and those who are the first generation in their family to attend a four-year college or university.”

What the university will say this year remains to be seen.

Do experts expect the diversity of the incoming class to be impacted?

“I’m concerned that this will have a negative impact on the racial diversity of the incoming class,” said Lord, the Haverford dean.

Heights’ Vereen, who worked in admissions at Penn from 2008 to 2012, predicted declines in diversity at more selective colleges on a national level.

“It’s a little bit of the Wild West for the next couple years,” he said. “Everyone is trying to calibrate to what is the new reality.”

Given Penn’s strong commitment to students in the Philadelphia area, those declines may be tempered there, he said.

Nguyen also predicted a dip in diversity, at least in the first year.

“When the [court] decision came out, colleges were scrambling to respond,” he said.

Cara McClellan, a Penn associate practice professor of law, said last year that the percentage of students from underrepresented groups at Harvard was expected to drop by 50% without race-conscious admissions. She worked on Harvard’s case at the appellate level for the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, and at that time, Black students made up 14% of Harvard’s incoming class, and Latino students and students from other underrepresented groups made up another 14%.

But John E. Jones III, president of Dickinson College in Carlisle, said he is “guardedly optimistic” that the diversity of the class will be similar to last year, when 25% were students of color. Dickinson reached out to organizations, including Heights, for more assistance in getting students of color to apply, he said. It had even started doing that before the court decision, he said.

“Anecdotally, what we believe is that has been extremely helpful in getting our name out there and connecting us with students and that will add to the diversity on campus,” he said.

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Should college essays touch on race? Some feel the affirmative action ruling leaves them no choice

Collin Binkley, Annie Ma And Noreen Nasir

Associated Press

Copyright 2024 The Associated Press. All rights reserved

Hillary Amofa listens to others member of the Lincoln Park High School step team after school Friday, March 8, 2024, in Chicago. When she started writing her college essay, Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. She wrote about being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana, about growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. She described hardship and struggle. Then she deleted it all. "I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping," said the 18 year-old senior, "And I'm just like, this doesn't really say anything about me as a person." (AP Photo/Charles Rex Arbogast)

CHICAGO – When she started writing her college essay, Hillary Amofa told the story she thought admissions offices wanted to hear. About being the daughter of immigrants from Ghana and growing up in a small apartment in Chicago. About hardship and struggle.

Then she deleted it all.

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“I would just find myself kind of trauma-dumping,” said the 18-year-old senior at Lincoln Park High School in Chicago. “And I’m just like, this doesn’t really say anything about me as a person.”

When the Supreme Court ended affirmative action in higher education, it left the college essay as one of few places where race can play a role in admissions decisions. For many students of color, instantly more was riding on the already high-stakes writing assignment. Some say they felt pressure to exploit their hardships as they competed for a spot on campus.

Amofa was just starting to think about her essay when the court issued its decision, and it left her with a wave of questions. Could she still write about her race? Could she be penalized for it? She wanted to tell colleges about her heritage but she didn’t want to be defined by it.

In English class, Amofa and her classmates read sample essays that all seemed to focus on some trauma or hardship. It left her with the impression she had to write about her life's hardest moments to show how far she'd come. But she and some of her classmates wondered if their lives had been hard enough to catch the attention of admissions offices.

“For a lot of students, there’s a feeling of, like, having to go through something so horrible to feel worthy of going to school, which is kind of sad,” said Amofa, the daughter of a hospital technician and an Uber driver.

This year’s senior class is the first in decades to navigate college admissions without affirmative action . The Supreme Court upheld the practice in decisions going back to the 1970s, but this court’s conservative supermajority found it is unconstitutional for colleges to give students extra weight because of their race alone.

Still, the decision left room for race to play an indirect role: Chief Justice John Roberts wrote universities can still consider how an applicant’s life was shaped by their race, “so long as that discussion is concretely tied to a quality of character or unique ability.”

“A benefit to a student who overcame racial discrimination, for example, must be tied to that student’s courage and determination,” he wrote.

Scores of colleges responded with new essay prompts asking about students’ backgrounds. Brown University asked applicants how “an aspect of your growing up has inspired or challenged you.” Rice University asked students how their perspectives were shaped by their “background, experiences, upbringing, and/or racial identity.”

WONDERING IF SCHOOLS ‘EXPECT A SOB STORY’

When Darrian Merritt started writing his essay, he knew the stakes were higher than ever because of the court’s decision. His first instinct was to write about events that led to him going to live with his grandmother as a child.

Those were painful memories, but he thought they might play well at schools like Yale, Stanford and Vanderbilt.

“I feel like the admissions committee might expect a sob story or a tragic story,” said Merritt, a senior in Cleveland. “And if you don’t provide that, then maybe they’re not going to feel like you went through enough to deserve having a spot at the university. I wrestled with that a lot.”

He wrote drafts focusing on his childhood, but it never amounted to more than a collection of memories. Eventually he abandoned the idea and aimed for an essay that would stand out for its positivity.

Merritt wrote about a summer camp where he started to feel more comfortable in his own skin. He described embracing his personality and defying his tendency to please others. The essay had humor — it centered on a water gun fight where he had victory in sight but, in a comedic twist, slipped and fell. But the essay also reflects on his feelings of not being “Black enough” and getting made fun of for listening to “white people music."

“I was like, ‘OK, I’m going to write this for me, and we’re just going to see how it goes,’” he said. “It just felt real, and it felt like an honest story.”

The essay describes a breakthrough as he learned "to take ownership of myself and my future by sharing my true personality with the people I encounter. ... I realized that the first chapter of my own story had just been written.”

A RULING PROMPTS PIVOTS ON ESSAY TOPICS

Like many students, Max Decker of Portland, Oregon, had drafted a college essay on one topic, only to change direction after the Supreme Court ruling in June.

Decker initially wrote about his love for video games. In a childhood surrounded by constant change, navigating his parents’ divorce, the games he took from place to place on his Nintendo DS were a source of comfort.

But the essay he submitted to colleges focused on the community he found through Word is Bond, a leadership group for young Black men in Portland.

As the only biracial, Jewish kid with divorced parents in a predominantly white, Christian community, Decker wrote he constantly felt like the odd one out. On a trip with Word is Bond to Capitol Hill, he and friends who looked just like him shook hands with lawmakers. The experience, he wrote, changed how he saw himself.

“It’s because I’m different that I provide something precious to the world, not the other way around,” he wrote.

As a first-generation college student, Decker thought about the subtle ways his peers seemed to know more about navigating the admissions process . They made sure to get into advanced classes at the start of high school, and they knew how to secure glowing letters of recommendation.

If writing about race would give him a slight edge and show admissions officers a fuller picture of his achievements, he wanted to take that small advantage.

His first memory about race, Decker said, was when he went to get a haircut in elementary school and the barber made rude comments about his curly hair. Until recently, the insecurity that moment created led him to keep his hair buzzed short.

Through Word is Bond, Decker said he found a space to explore his identity as a Black man. It was one of the first times he was surrounded by Black peers and saw Black role models. It filled him with a sense of pride in his identity. No more buzzcut.

The pressure to write about race involved a tradeoff with other important things in his life, Decker said. That included his passion for journalism, like the piece he wrote on efforts to revive a once-thriving Black neighborhood in Portland. In the end, he squeezed in 100 characters about his journalism under the application’s activities section.

“My final essay, it felt true to myself. But the difference between that and my other essay was the fact that it wasn’t the truth that I necessarily wanted to share,” said Decker, whose top college choice is Tulane, in New Orleans, because of the region’s diversity. “It felt like I just had to limit the truth I was sharing to what I feel like the world is expecting of me.”

SPELLING OUT THE IMPACT OF RACE

Before the Supreme Court ruling, it seemed a given to Imani Laird that colleges would consider the ways that race had touched her life. But now, she felt like she had to spell it out.

As she started her essay, she reflected on how she had faced bias or felt overlooked as a Black student in predominantly white spaces.

There was the year in math class when the teacher kept calling her by the name of another Black student. There were the comments that she’d have an easier time getting into college because she was Black .

“I didn’t have it easier because of my race,” said Laird, a senior at Newton South High School in the Boston suburbs who was accepted at Wellesley and Howard University, and is waiting to hear from several Ivy League colleges. “I had stuff I had to overcome.”

In her final essays, she wrote about her grandfather, who served in the military but was denied access to GI Bill benefits because of his race.

She described how discrimination fueled her ambition to excel and pursue a career in public policy.

“So, I never settled for mediocrity,” she wrote. “Regardless of the subject, my goal in class was not just to participate but to excel. Beyond academics, I wanted to excel while remembering what started this motivation in the first place.”

WILL SCHOOLS LOSE RACIAL DIVERSITY?

Amofa used to think affirmative action was only a factor at schools like Harvard and Yale. After the court's ruling, she was surprised to find that race was taken into account even at some public universities she was applying to.

Now, without affirmative action, she wondered if mostly white schools will become even whiter.

It's been on her mind as she chooses between Indiana University and the University of Dayton, both of which have relatively few Black students. When she was one of the only Black students in her grade school, she could fall back on her family and Ghanaian friends at church. At college, she worries about loneliness.

“That’s what I’m nervous about,” she said. “Going and just feeling so isolated, even though I’m constantly around people.”

The first drafts of her essay focused on growing up in a low-income family, sharing a bedroom with her brother and grandmother. But it didn’t tell colleges about who she is now, she said.

Her final essay tells how she came to embrace her natural hair . She wrote about going to a mostly white grade school where classmates made jokes about her afro. When her grandmother sent her back with braids or cornrows, they made fun of those too.

Over time, she ignored their insults and found beauty in the styles worn by women in her life. She now runs a business doing braids and other hairstyles in her neighborhood.

“I stopped seeing myself through the lens of the European traditional beauty standards and started seeing myself through the lens that I created,” Amofa wrote.

“Criticism will persist, but it loses its power when you know there’s a crown on your head!"

Ma reported from Portland, Oregon.

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