why do you want to transfer essay examples

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How to Write a College Transfer Essay (With Examples)

Lisa Freedland is a Scholarships360 writer with personal experience in psychological research and content writing. She has written content for an online fact-checking organization and has conducted research at the University of Southern California as well as the University of California, Irvine. Lisa graduated from the University of Southern California in Fall 2021 with a degree in Psychology.

Learn about our editorial policies

Bill Jack has over a decade of experience in college admissions and financial aid. Since 2008, he has worked at Colby College, Wesleyan University, University of Maine at Farmington, and Bates College.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, over 1.2 million students are enrolled in college as a transfer student. Students may transfer for a variety of reasons ranging from academics to athletics to geography.

If you are in the process of transferring colleges it’s likely that you will have to write a personal essay as part of your transfer admissions process. Ultimately, there’s no one way to write a college transfer essay. Everyone is unique, and this individuality should shine through in your essays.

However, there are some recommended things to include, and even a real example essay that was used to successfully transfer college! In this post, we’ll help you write a powerful transfer essay so you can tell your story to the admissions committee.

Jump ahead to…

• Do’s and don’ts
• Why did you choose your current school?

What are your main reasons for transferring out of your current school?

Why do you want to attend the transfer school.

• Example essay

Additional resources

• Key takeaways
• Frequently asked questions

College transfer essays: The do’s and don’ts

Before we start, we want to cover a few basics do’s and don’ts about what your transfer essays should be about.

• Elaborate on how your current school has helped you progress towards your goals. Positivity is always a good thing!
• Research your prospective school (e.g. specific classes, organizations, opportunities) for why you want to go there.
• Make sure to follow the standard/correct essay format! Transfer essay prompts may vary from college to college so you should make sure that you’re answering the exact question.
• Use up your limited word count by listing negative aspects about your current school. Instead, focus on how it has helped you grow, but how another school could further help you develop your interests/passions 
• List a group of random classes or opportunities available at your new school. Mention opportunities you’re (genuinely) interested in that relate to your goals and passions – make sure you’re telling a story through your essay.
• Copy your initial admissions essay (the one that you used when applying to colleges in high school) – you’ve changed a lot during your time in college so you will want to write a brand new essay.

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What is the goal of the transfer essay.

Potential transfer students should know that not all colleges and universities require transfer essays, so when in doubt definitely check-in with the college in question for clarification. For the purposes of this article and the sample transfer essay, we’ll be using this prompt:

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

Most colleges will be interested in learning why you want to transfer and how transferring will help you achieve your goals. However, specific prompts will vary from college to college, so you should definitely pay attention to the specific prompt you are asked to respond to.

Some of the common questions you’ll come across include:

• How will your transfer school help you accomplish your goals?

Below I’ll break down how to respond to each of these questions and include an example from a successful transfer essay.

Also see: Can you transfer into an ivy league school?

Why did you choose your current school? 

To answer this question, you’ll have to go back in time when you were in 12th grade and selecting your college. Did you choose the college because it had a program you liked? Maybe you really wanted to take classes with a specific professor? Maybe you thought you wanted to attend college in a specific part of the world? Whatever the reason you should lay it out in the most factual way possible.

Here’s how I responded to this question:

Just like Jeopardy, Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home.

Also see: How to write a 250 word essay

This is always an important question for transfer admissions officers: why did your current college not work out? We recommend that students be as honest as possible and stick to the facts (as opposed to simply complaining about your current school).

Students have very different reasons for changing schools, which often depend on what type of school you’re transferring from (a 2-year or 4-year). While many community college students transfer because their plans did work out and they’ve accomplished what they wanted to at their school, those transferring from four-year universities often do so for less positive reasons (which was my experience).

If the situation at your college didn’t exactly pan out as you thought it would, you should also try to talk about some of the ways you are making the most of the situation. This shows the admissions officers that despite the less-than-ideal circumstances, you have continued to learn, grow, and contribute to your community.

Here’s how I accomplished this:

Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home”, it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. 

Going through the admissions process as a transfer student is interesting, because you have learned a lot about yourself and your preferences at your first college. This should provide you with a great perspective on what you are looking for next.

The two major things you’ll want to accomplish when answering this question are why the transfer college in question is a good fit for you and how it can help you accomplish your goals as a student.

Specificity is always more ideal here so you can show that you have spent some time thinking about what you want and also how the new college fits.

Here’s how I did this:

I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems.

College transfer essays: an example

Here we go! Throughout this article, I’ve shown you my college essay divided into sections, and now’s time for the full thing. I can honestly say that this essay had a 100% success rate! Without further ado, here is my full college transfer essay (and prompt):

Prompt: Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. 

I wake up from my daily after-school nap to realize that it is already dinner time. As I walk downstairs, I smell the delicious fragrance coming from my mom’s samgyetang (Korean ginseng chicken soup), one of my favorite meals. Soon enough, everyone sits down to watch the newest episode of Jeopardy , a tradition we’ve had going on for as long as I can remember. As I take that first sip of samgyetang, and miss yet another geography question on Jeopardy – and wait for my family to inevitably tease me about it – I feel at home, like I am somewhere that I belong. Wherever I go, I hope I can encounter that same warm feeling. Just like Jeopardy , Criminal Minds is also a show that I have watched from a very young age, and one that I continue to watch quite regularly. Being exposed to this interesting world of FBI profilers for so long inspired me to want to dive into the world of psychology myself. Due to this, I originally chose the University of Wisconsin, Madison for its amazing psychology program, and because I wanted to try something new. Being from California, this “something new” came in the form of watching snow fall from the sky, seeing cheese curds being sold in all the grocery stores, and simply living somewhere far away from home. Arriving in Wisconsin, I got exactly what I wanted: an amazing psychology program and the experience of being somewhere quite different from the place I called home. My classes were interesting, my professors were helpful and caring, and experiencing the first snow was quite exciting. However, as winter progressed, walking back from class everyday under the progressively gloomier sky seemed to be a cruel reminder that I was no longer in sunny Southern California. While eating dinner in our many dining halls, I always viewed the wide array of food available: quesadillas, Chinese food, burgers, even pecan pie. The food was all delicious, but going day after day without even seeing Korean food once, it made me miss those fun dinners with my family. Back at my dorm, my “home away from home,” it started to feel like anything but being at home. To feel more comfortable where I was, I decided to pursue things I liked, and that I was familiar with. My passion for psychology led me to join the university’s Psychology Club, where I was able to learn about recent revelations within the field of psychology, furthering my interest in the subject. I plan on using the knowledge I gain in psychology, either from organizations or classes, to help people. I want to one day apply this knowledge to research, to discover possible methods to help the people suffering from the psychological problems I study. Alternatively, I hope to use this knowledge as a criminal profiler, using my understanding of psychology to narrow down pools of suspects.  To be able to accomplish either of these, I need to develop a much deeper understanding of both people’s motivations for the things they do as well as of the many psychological issues people face. For these reasons, I am very excited at the prospect of exploring and enrolling in the classes offered by USC’s Department of Psychology. In particular, Psych 360: Abnormal Psychology would be an amazing introduction to psychological disorders and their causes. Psych 314L: Research Methods would then help me put this knowledge about disorders to good use by teaching me how to properly conduct research and find possible solutions for people’s problems. With so many opportunities available at USC, I hope to not only help others feel more comfortable, but to find a second home for myself after all.

And that’s it! This essay touches on all of the tips listed above, and should serve as helpful inspiration as you begin your writing. Hopefully, it gives you an idea of how to integrate everything you should mention in a cohesive essay. With that, I wish you good luck with your college transfer essays (and applications)!

Don’t miss: What looks good on a college application?

If you finish your essay and still have questions about the transfer process, consider checking out these Scholarships360 resources:

• How to transfer colleges
• How to transfer from a community college
• Top scholarships for transfer students
• How to choose a college
• What’s the difference between a private and public university?

Key Takeaways

• Explain why you want to transfer, what you need that you are not getting at your current school, and why you chose your current school to begin with
• Always present things in a positive light
• Share how the transfer school will help you achieve your goals and why you are a good fit for the school

Frequently asked questions about writing college transfer essays 

How are college transfer essays different from regular application essays, do all schools require transfer essays, can i reuse my old college essays for a transfer, what should you not say in a transfer essay, scholarships360 recommended.

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Read 2 Transfer Student Essays That Worked

Strong transfer essays can help pave the way to admissions offers.

Read 2 Transfer Essays That Worked

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Though it isn't a golden ticket, a strong transfer essay may boost an applicant's odds of admission.

There are as many reasons to transfer colleges as there are transfer students. But regardless of why someone wants to move to a new institution, the process for doing so usually requires an admissions essay.

Colleges With the Most Transfer Students

Josh Moody Jan. 28, 2020

In a 2018 National Association for College Admission Counseling survey , 41.5% of colleges polled said a transfer applicant's essay or writing sample is of either considerable or moderate importance in the admission decision.

A compelling, well-written transfer essay doesn't guarantee acceptance – many other factors are at play, such as an applicant's GPA. However, a strong essay can be a factor that helps move the odds in the applicant's favor, says Kathy Phillips, associate dean of undergraduate admissions at Duke University in North Carolina.

Know What Colleges Are Looking For In a Transfer Essay

Some schools have prospective transfer students use the Common App or the Coalition Application to apply. In addition to the main essay, students may be required to submit a second writing sample or respond to short-answer questions, though this isn't always the case. Prospective students can check a college's website for specific guidance regarding how to apply.

Whatever application method they use, prospective students should be aware that writing a transfer essay is not the same as writing a first-year college application essay, experts advise. First-year essays are more open-ended, says Niki Barron, associate dean of admission at Hamilton College in New York. When applying as first-years, prospective students can generally write about any experience, relationship or goal that has shaped who they are as people, she says.

This contrasts with transfer essays, where the focus is typically narrower. Barron says she thinks of transfer essays as more of a statement of purpose. "We're really looking to see students' reasons for wanting to transfer," she says.

Katie Fretwell, the recently retired dean of admission and financial aid at Amherst College in Massachusetts, says prospective transfer students are in a position to be a bit more reflective about their educational goals because of their additional year or years of experience post-high school. The essay helps admissions officers get a sense of whether an applicant has done "an appropriate level of soul-searching about the match," she says.

Transfer Essay Examples

Below are two transfer essays that helped students get into Duke and Amherst, respectively. Both institutions are very selective in transfer admissions. For fall 2018, Duke had a transfer acceptance rate of 8% and Amherst accepted 4% of its transfer applicants, according to U.S. News data.

Hover over the circles to read what made these essays stand out to admissions experts.

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How to Write a Winning College Transfer Essay

December 27, 2021

Much like snowflakes, DNA profiles, or interpretations of a David Lynch film, no two college transfer applicants are alike. Even if two prospective transfers to Boston University are both named Fred and each hail from Farmington, CT, their paths, and the contours of their academic journeys are probably quite different from one another. Perhaps Fred #1 is a first-generation college student who, for financial reasons, had to complete his freshman year at the local community college. Perhaps Fred #2 underachieved a touch in high school, gained admission into a less-selective state school where he excelled freshman year and is now highly-motivated to study at top school. Each Fred possesses an equally valid story to tell the BU admissions office, and doing so adeptly may well be the key to their acceptance. After all, 42% of all U.S. colleges—and close to 100% of highly-selective schools—cite the essay as being “important” to their transfer application decisions.

To cite another relevant statistic, 37% of all college students transfer at some point in their academic career and each has a worthwhile pathway to chronicle. Whether you’re Fred #1, Fred #2, or someone not even named Fred (imagine that!), you need your transfer essay to be so strong that it leaps right off the page and captures the attention (or, even better, heart) of an admissions officer. In the following article, the College Transitions team will explain precisely how to master this essential component of the transfer application.

Which Transfer essay prompt should I pick?

Starting in 2020-21, the Common App granted its member institutions the option of allowing their transfer applicants to select one of the seven current Common App essay prompts (that are available to freshman applicants).

Some schools will offer you this option, while others will simply ask you the equivalent of “Why are you applying to our university?” If you are given the choice between prompts, it is generally best to select the one that is most broad (note: a broad prompt is good, a broad essay is not) and allows you to compose an essay containing the following essential elements:

• 1) Why your prospective transfer school is a perfect fit for you.
• 2) Why your journey has led you away from your current institution.
• 3) What unique attributes and talents you will bring to campus.
• 4) How your past achievements and efforts can bolster your case.
• 5) Share your academic and career ambitions.

Let’s dive in and take a more thorough look at each component, beginning with #1.

1) Why this college is the perfect fit for you

Share with your prospective new academic home exactly what makes them attractive to you. Smaller class size, a particular academic program, a more diverse environment, or the opportunity to for hands-on learning/research opportunities are just a sampling of the legitimate selling points you can cite. Mention specific courses that you are eager to take at their institution, certain distinguished professors who you desire to study under, and unique clubs, activities, or campus traditions in which you are excited to partake. Take advantage of this chance to impress admissions officers with you expansive knowledge of their institution as well as a highly-specific accounting of how you will take advantage of your 2-3 years there. Doing so will separate you from the pack of similarly-qualified transfer applicants.

2) Why you want to leave your current college

Make sure that the reasons that you communicate for wanting to transfer do not end up sounding like a nasty Yelp review of your present school. While you may want to leave College X because the professors are all centenarian windbags and your roommate is breeding capybaras to sell on Craigslist (is there really a market for that?), remember that the school to which you are applying wants to feel wanted. Think about it—would you rather listen to your girlfriend/boyfriend rant about their ex or hear them tell you what makes you awesome? Admissions officers considering a transfer student feel the same way.

3) What unique attributes you will bring to campus

Even in the transfer admissions process, admissions officers are tasked with enhancing the diversity of their undergraduate student body and adding individuals who are likely to be contributing members of the campus community. Is there a particular club that you are eager to join or do wish to start your own? Do you desire to assist a professor in conducting research? Are you an a cappella star or club volleyball diehard? What books do you read for pleasure? Do you have a hidden talent or area of expertise? Are you an introvert or extrovert (both can be selling points)? What ideas, activities, or dreams keep you up in the middle of the night? Give the admissions reader a full picture of what your life will look at their school and how you will make more of an impact (in any form) than many of your fellow applicants.

4) Talk about your academic and extracurricular record

This is also a perfect opportunity to demonstrate your record of involvement on your current campus. It is far easier to sell yourself as someone who will be a contributing member of the campus community if you displayed these qualities at your previous college. Students with an eye on transferring are sometimes so focused on escaping their first institution that they fail to become involved in anything outside of the classroom and thus miss out on valuable opportunities to demonstrate leadership and passion—the very traits needed to transfer to a prestigious school. Write about what you are most proud of—a challenging physics exam you mastered, a philosophy paper you wrote arguing the compatibility of science and religion, or how you started a campus chapter of an organization dedicated to fighting pancreatic cancer.

5) Share your academic and career ambitions

The more you can use your essay to communicate your genuine passions and what makes you tick, the better. Doing so gives your essay broader context and deeper meaning, as it explains the true significance of all of the info shared in steps #1-4. If you want to major in biology, where do you see that taking you down the road? Are you considering graduate or medical school? Do you want to work in research in a specific area? You don’t have to be 100% sure of your career and future academic path at 19 or 20 years old, but as a transfer student, you should share where your experiences and interests may someday take you.

College Transfer Essay – Do’s and Don’ts

• Make a coherent and well-researched case for why the school to which you are applying would be a perfect fit for you.
• Explain how you spend your time outside of school whether it’s participation in a club or sport, paid work, or a hobby to which you are extremely dedicated.
• Paint a picture of the reasons why this new university is the right place to pursue your academic interests.
• Give the committee a sense of your talents and character/personal qualities. If your school does not offer interviews, this essay will be primary vehicle through which you can forge a personal connection to a fellow human being.
• Bash your current school or overly-focus on the negative.
• Make excuses for past academic performance of lack of outside the classroom involvement.
• Say that you want to attend a new school for the prestige, the pretty campus, or for a personal reason (close to home, girl/boyfriend attends, etc.).
• Forget to do adequate research on your prospective academic home. Details matter!
• Application Strategies
• College Essay

Andrew Belasco

A licensed counselor and published researcher, Andrew's experience in the field of college admissions and transition spans two decades. He has previously served as a high school counselor, consultant and author for Kaplan Test Prep, and advisor to U.S. Congress, reporting on issues related to college admissions and financial aid.

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Your chance of acceptance, your chancing factors, extracurriculars, what are your strategies for answering 'why do you want to transfer' in college essays.

Looking for some advice here, peeps! If you’ve written a transfer essay, what are the main points you hit to explain your decision to transfer? Any suggestions would be super helpful. Thanks!

The 'Why do you want to transfer' question is a great opportunity to reflect on your academic and personal growth. Start by being honest about your reasons for transferring; maybe it's the need for a more challenging curriculum, access to specific resources, or a change in your academic interests. Be positive in your approach—focus on what you're moving towards rather than what you're leaving behind.

For example, rather than saying you're unhappy with your current school's social scene, explain how the new school's community aligns more closely with your aspirations. It's also important to do thorough research on the school you want to transfer to, pointing out specific programs, courses, faculty, or extracurriculars unique to the institution that will help you achieve your goals.

Always remember, this essay should provide a narrative that combines your past experiences with future ambitions, illustrating a clear connection between your goals and what the new college can offer. If possible, highlighting how you want to engage with a particular resource that is unavailable at your current institution can help admissions understand your academic commitment and focus.

About CollegeVine’s Expert FAQ

CollegeVine’s Q&A seeks to offer informed perspectives on commonly asked admissions questions. Every answer is refined and validated by our team of admissions experts to ensure it resonates with trusted knowledge in the field.

Sample College Transfer Essay

A Sample Essay by a Student Transferring From Amherst to Penn

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The following sample essay was written by a student named David. He wrote the transfer essay below for the Common Transfer Application in response to the prompt, "Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve" (250 to 650 words). David is attempting to transfer from Amherst College to the University of Pennsylvania . As far as admissions standards go, this is a lateral move—both schools are extremely selective. His letter will need to be extremely strong for his transfer application to be successful.

Key Takeaways: A Winning Transfer Essay

• Have a clear academic reason for your transfer. Personal reasons are fine, but academics need to come first.
• Stay positive. Don't speak badly of your current school. Emphasize what you like about your target school, not what you dislike about your current school.
• Be meticulous. Grammar, punctuation, and style matter. Show that you put time and care into your writing.

David's Transfer Application Essay

During the summer after my first year of college, I spent six weeks volunteering at an archaeological excavation in Hazor, site of the largest tel (mound) in Israel. My time in Hazor was not easy—wake-up came at 4:00 a.m., and by noontime temperatures were often in the 90s. The dig was sweaty, dusty, back-breaking work. I wore out two pairs of gloves and the knees in several pairs of khakis. Nevertheless, I loved every minute of my time in Israel. I met interesting people from around the world, worked with amazing students and faculty from Hebrew University, and became fascinated with the current efforts to create a portrait of life in the Canaanite period.

Upon my return to Amherst College for my sophomore year, I soon came to realize that the school does not offer the exact major I now hope to pursue. I'm majoring in anthropology, but the program at Amherst is almost entirely contemporary and sociological in its focus. More and more my interests are becoming archaeological and historical. When I visited Penn this fall, I was impressed by the breadth of offerings in anthropology and archaeology, and I absolutely loved your Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology. Your broad approach to the field with emphases on understanding both the past and present has great appeal to me. By attending Penn, I hope to broaden and deepen my knowledge in anthropology, participate in more summer field work, volunteer at the museum, and eventually, go on to graduate school in archaeology.

My reasons for transferring are almost entirely academic. I have made many good friends at Amherst, and I have studied with some wonderful professors. However, I do have one non-academic reason for being interested in Penn. I originally applied to Amherst because it was comfortable—I come from a small town in Wisconsin, and Amherst felt like home. I'm now looking forward to pushing myself to experience places that aren't quite so familiar. The kibbutz at Kfar HaNassi was one such environment, and the urban environment of Philadelphia would be another.

As my transcript shows, I have done well at Amherst and I am convinced I can meet the academic challenges of Penn. I know I would grow at Penn, and your program in anthropology perfectly matches my academic interests and professional goals.

Before we even get to the critique of David's essay, it's important to put his transfer into context. David is attempting to transfer into an  Ivy League  school. Penn is not the most selective of the country's top universities, but the transfer acceptance rate is still around 6% (at Harvard and Stanford, that number is closer to 1%). David needs to approach this effort at transfer realistically — even with excellent grades and a stellar essay, his chances of success are far from guaranteed.

That said, he has many things going for him — he is coming from an equally demanding college where he has earned good grades, and he seems like the type of student who will certainly succeed at Penn. He will need strong  letters of recommendation  to round out his application.

Analysis of David's Transfer Essay

Now on to the essay... Let's break down the discussion of David's transfer essay into several categories.

The Reasons for Transfer

The strongest feature of David's essay is the focus. David is pleasingly specific in presenting his reasons for transferring. He knows exactly what he wants to study, and he has a clear understanding of what both Penn and Amherst have to offer him. David's description of his experience in Israel defines the focus of his essay, and he then connects that experience to his reasons for wanting to transfer. There are lots of bad reasons to transfer, but David's clear interest in studying anthropology and archaeology makes his motives seem both well thought-out and reasonable.

Many transfer applicants are trying to move to a new college because they are running away from some kind of bad experience, sometimes something academic, sometimes something more personal. David, however, clearly likes Amherst and is running towards something—an opportunity at Penn that better matches his newly discovered professional goals. This is a big positive factor for his application.

The Common Transfer Application instructions state that the essay needs to be at least 250 words. The maximum length is 650 words. David's essay comes in at around 380 words. It is tight and concise. He doesn't waste time talking about his disappointments with Amherst, nor does he put much effort into explaining the things that other parts of his application will cover such as grades and extracurricular involvement. He does have a lot more space left to elaborate, but in this case the letter gets the job done well with few words.

David gets the tone perfect, something that is difficult to do in a transfer essay. Let's face it—if you are transferring it is because there is something about your current school that you don't like. It's easy to be negative and critical of your classes, your professors, your college environment, and so on. It's also easy to come across as a whiner or an ungenerous and angry person who doesn't have the inner resources to make the most of one's circumstances. David avoids these pitfalls. His representation of Amherst is extremely positive. He praises the school while noting that the curricular offerings do not match his professional goals.

The Personality

Partly because of the tone discussed above, David comes across as a pleasant person, someone who the admissions folks are likely to want to have as part of their campus community. Moreover, David presents himself as someone who likes to push himself to grow. He is honest in his reasons for going to Amherst—the school seemed like a good "fit" given his small-town upbringing. It is, therefore, impressive to see him so actively working to expand his experiences beyond his provincial roots. David has clearly grown at Amherst, and he is looking forward to growing more at Penn.

The Writing

When applying to a place like Penn, the technical aspects of the writing need to be flawless. David's prose is clear, engaging and free of errors. If you struggle on this front, be sure to check out these  tips for improving your essay's style . And if grammar isn't your greatest strength, be sure to work through your essay with someone who does have strong grammar skills.

A Final Word on David's Transfer Essay

David's college transfer essay does exactly what an essay needs to do, and he includes the features of a strong transfer essay . He clearly articulates his reasons for transferring, and he does so in a positive and specific way. David presents himself as a serious student with clear academic and professional goals. We have little doubt that he has the skills and intellectual curiosity to succeed at Penn, and he has made a strong argument about why this particular transfer makes a lot of sense.

Odds are still against David's success given the competitive nature of Ivy League transfers, but he has strengthened his application with his essay.

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How to Write a Great Transfer Essay

Here is the most common prompt for transfer students applying through the Common App :  

“Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve.” (250-600 words)

The three key steps to mastering the transfer essay are as follows:

Step One: Establish why you want to transfer.

Tell admissions why you want to transfer, and do so without speaking negatively about your current institution. Are you looking for a bigger school? Do you want to attend a university in a tech-centric city? Did you just discover your passion for a major that your current institution doesn’t offer? Transferring is a big decision, so it’s important to show that your intentions are clear. Whatever the reason, refrain from speaking ill of your current school. You want to come off as optimistic and forward thinking to admissions.  

Step Two: Demonstrate your interest.

Why are you applying to this school in particular? You’ve been through the admissions cycle before and you are wiser than you were a year or two ago. Admissions officers will expect that you’ve done your research and are making a calculated, thoughtful decision to transfer. Your interest in transferring to one school should be directly related to your reason for leaving your current school: What gaps or unmet needs will your prospective institution address? Do you want to transfer for the school’s humongous alumni network, award-winning journalism program, or non-profit affiliations? Have you always dreamed of living in the city in which the school is located? Make sure admissions knows that you aren’t applying because “it’s gotta be better than my current school” but because this school is where you feel you truly belong. Illustrate your drive and maybe you’ll be hitting the ground running come the fall. (Hint: the best way to get the information you need is by setting aside a chunk of time to pore over the school website. Sorry, there’s no shortcut, even the second time around.)

Step Three: Establish the highlights of your collegiate career so far.

You have an edge that most freshman don’t: You’ve already been to college, so you know a bit more about the experience as well as your own academic and career goals. Being able to say that you know you will succeed at your school of choice because you flourish in small classrooms, lead in group projects, excel in the math and sciences or whatever your reasoning may be is crucial. Talk about what you have enjoyed about college thus far (again, be positive!) and how you hope to build on your experience at your (hopefully) new school!

Once you complete these three steps, you will have all the ingredients for a fantastic transfer essay! But before you hit submit, a final word of warning: some schools require transfer applicants to submit supplemental essays (remember those?). Do yourself a favor and compile a list of these in advance to ensure that every essay you write reveals something new and special to admissions. But first, give yourself a pat on the back. By reading this post, you’ve already given yourself a leg up (at least we think so). Go you!  

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Tags: brainstorming , College , college admissions , college admissions essay , college applications , college essay , college essay advisors , college essay tutor , essay , essay advice , personal statement , transfer , transfer admissions , transfer application , transfer applications , transfer essay , transfer help , transfer student , transfer students , writing , writing advice , writing help

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Common App Transfer Essay Examples

Common App Transfer Essay — Introduction

If you’re considering transferring colleges , you’ve likely started thinking about your college transfer essay. At CollegeAdvisor, we’re here to fill you in on the Common App transfer essay, as well as the overall transfer application process. 

In this guide, we’ll walk you through everything you need to know about the college transfer essay. We’ll also provide you with some Common App transfer essay examples and other transfer essay tips. 

Additionally, we’ll go over:

• What a college transfer essay is
• How to craft a strong Common App transfer essay
• College transfer requirements at top schools
• Other transfer essay tips

Understanding the College Transfer Essay

The college transfer essay process differs a bit from the essay process you likely went through as a first-year applicant. Instead of writing one Common App transfer essay that you’ll send to every school, each college transfer essay is school-specific. In fact, some colleges don’t even include a college transfer essay in their application requirements—though most selective institutions do. 

To help you prepare, we’ve gathered a variety of sample transfer essays from top schools nationwide. We hope these Common App transfer essay examples help you feel confident as you begin crafting your own college transfer essays. 

In our guide, we’ll look at transfer essays that worked from the following colleges:

• Emory University
• Wesleyan University
• University of Southern California (USC)
• University of Miami

But before we look at a sample transfer essay, let’s get back to basics: what is a college transfer essay? 

What is a college transfer essay?

Put simply, a college transfer essay is an essay you’ll write as part of the college transfer process. At their core, most Common App transfer essay prompts will ask a similar question: why do you want to transfer to our school? 

This prompt is similar to the “why school” essays you likely encountered as a first-year applicant. However, with transfer students, colleges may look for a bit more detail. 

Your Common App transfer essays should try to address the following: 

• Why do you want to transfer to this particular school? What programs and offerings attract you to this institution?
• What makes you unique, and why will you enrich the campus community at your new college? 
• Why was your former college not the right fit for you, and why is this college a better place for you to pursue your goals?

Of course, you should never outright speak negatively about your current college in your Common App transfer essays. However, your college transfer essays should clarify why you and why your next school will be a better fit than your current one. 

Later, we’ll look at some Common App transfer essay examples in more detail. Keep the questions above in mind as you read our sample transfer essays. While there’s no universal Common App transfer essay prompt, there are many similarities in the transfer college essays for different colleges. Reading different college essays that worked and sample transfer essays can prepare you for any Common App transfer essay prompts you encounter. 

Common App Transfer Essay Requirements

Unlike in the first-year application process, transfer students using the Common App won’t submit a single personal statement to every school. Instead, students will use the Common App for transfer—that is, the version of the Common App designed for transfer students. Each school specifies application requirements within the Common App for transfer; that’s where you’ll find any Common App transfer essay requirements. It’s also where you can select specific programs within your desired schools.

Moreover, not every college will have a standard transfer essay format. Rather, you might find different prompts, word counts, and other requirements for different transfer applications. With that said, you can likely repurpose a certain amount of information from your college transfer essays for different schools. 

Additionally, note that not every college where you may want to transfer will use the Common App. While the Common App has over 1,000 member institutions at the first-year level, around 600 colleges use the Common App for transfer. So, you should always check each college’s application requirements. Some schools may also use the Coalition Application. Schools like UIUC , UMiami , and USC will all have their own transfer essay requirements. 

Next, let’s take a closer look at transfer application requirements. Then, we’ll look at some sample transfer essays and discuss different college essays that worked. 

Understanding Transfer Application Requirements

In general, most colleges will ask for a similar set of transfer application requirements. These include: 

• The Common App transfer application  
• A writing supplement, including your college transfer essay(s)
• Standardized test scores, though some colleges remain test-optional
• Official college transcript
• Dean’s/College’s/Registrar’s Report
• College instructor recommendations (2)
• Official high school transcript

As you begin the transfer application process, make sure you’re prepared for these requirements. Additionally, while you may or may not submit a full resume when you apply to college, it’s good to have one on hand. 

Staying Engaged on Campus

Note that as a transfer student, colleges will pay attention to how you’ve used your time on your original college campus. So, to increase your admissions odds at top schools, you should earn high grades and engage in various extracurricular activities. Even if you don’t want to complete your college experience at your current school, you should still make the most of your time there. 

On some of your college transfer essays, you might be asked to discuss an extracurricular activity or engagement. You won’t see this kind of prompt in most of our transfer essay examples. However, you should be prepared to discuss your involvement on campus in your college transfer essays. Colleges want to see that you’re an engaged member of your community. 

Common App Transfer Essay Prompts

Next, let’s take a look at some Common App transfer essay prompts and review some transfer essays that worked. 

As we’ve discussed, students won’t all answer one Common App transfer essay prompt. Instead, you’ll respond to a different Common App transfer essay prompt for each school. However, as you’ll notice from our collection of transfer essays that worked, college transfer essay prompts tend to be similar. 

Comparing Some Common App Transfer Essay Prompts

To begin, let’s look at the Common App transfer essay prompts from Harvard University: 

• Briefly, please indicate the most influential factors in your decision to attend your present college (for example, location, cost, size of student body, only option, special program offered, Early Decision plan, etc.) 
• What alternatives to transferring to Harvard are you considering?
• Please indicate your field of specialization and briefly outline your academic plans at Harvard College.
• What are your current postgraduate/career plans?
• Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced you.

As you can see, if you apply to Harvard as a transfer student, you’ll have to write several college transfer essays. In our college transfer essays that worked, successful students make the most of every Common App transfer essay prompt. 

Notre Dame transfer essay prompt

Remember, each of your college transfer essays offers the admissions team a chance to learn more about you. So, you should make the most of every one of your Common App transfer essays. Regardless of the college transfer essay format, view each college transfer essay as a chance to teach your reader something new. 

While we won’t see Common App transfer essay examples from Harvard here, we’ll read sample transfer essays from other competitive colleges. You can apply these transfer essay tips to any college transfer essay. 

Let’s take a look at another Common App transfer essay prompt—this time, from Notre Dame.

Unlike Harvard, Notre Dame does not ask students to complete a collection of Common App transfer essay prompts. Instead, when it comes to college transfer essays, Notre Dame just asks for one thing :

“a well-crafted personal statement explaining your interest in Notre Dame, your academic and professional goals, and how transferring to Notre Dame can help you achieve them.”

Clarifying your academic goals.

You might notice one similarity between the Common App transfer essay prompts for Notre Dame and Harvard. Both schools ask you to have a clear sense of your academic and professional goals. 

As a first-year applicant, your choice of college major matters less than it does as a transfer applicant. In fact, in some cases, the major you indicate will have little to no bearing on your admissions odds. However, as a transfer student, colleges expect you to have some sense of your future goals. In light of that, you should be able to articulate your future college major in your college transfer essays. 

When you read our Common App transfer essay examples, you’ll notice the authors clearly explain their academic and future goals. This allows the writers of our sample transfer essays to clarify why a given school meets their academic needs. 

Look for these strategies in our UMiami essay examples, USC transfer essay examples, Emory essay examples, and other college essays that worked. Now, let’s dig into some targeted transfer essay tips and read some great Common App transfer essays. 

College Transfer Essay — Emory Essay Examples

Let’s start by reviewing Emory essay examples from accepted transfer students. By reading these Common App transfer essay examples, you can learn more about how to approach the college transfer essay process. 

Here’s our Emory transfer essay example: 

Emory Transfer Essay Example

My time at Texas Christian University has been an orienting and insightful experience. Despite the brevity of my stay, I grasped a better understanding of the type of qualities that I desire from a college. In addition, I gained new perspectives, forged relationships, and made memories that I’ll cherish for life. The decision to apply to Emory was made with careful consideration, but ultimately with confidence. While I will always be grateful for my experience at TCU, I’ve concluded that Emory is where I can thrive academically and socially.

I took a medley of courses during my first semester at TCU to ensure that I chose my path with confidence. Comparative Literature was the major I was searching for. It allows me to channel my desires for a diversified education, and pairs well with my ardor for foreign languages.  Unfortunately, despite the enthusiasm, it isn’t offered at TCU, but it is at Emory. However, the ability to pursue Comparative Literature may have drawn me to Emory, but it was the breadth of the academic curriculum and resources that helped me to conclude that it was the right school for me.

The breadth of the curriculum itself covers a broad range of topics ranging from Post-Colonial Literature to “Love & Sex in the Italian Renaissance.” I would truly be able to get a diversified education through a host of interesting topics. Attending Emory would allow me to supplement my education with curriculum outside the classroom, allowing me to enrich my educational experience. Through the thesis during senior year I could gain insight from conducting intense exploration on a subject I deeply care about.

As a research assistant I conducted research on Horace Walpole’s influence in early British Parliament. Through this, I learned how to organize and structure knowledge, how to communicate and how to be a more attentive and critical interpreter of history. Those are the kind of skills I want to amplify and Emory’s focus on Undergraduate Research would give me support for that in spades. I could also have fun attending poetry readings, symposiums, and film screenings. In terms of my major, the depth of the classes and the sheer possibilities enabled by Emory’s academic resources would truly allow me to make the most of my education at Emory.

What stands out about Emory for me and makes it so desirable is the intimate approach in the faculty-to-student relationship. Engaged professors who genuinely care for the wellbeing of the student is the type of setting fostered at Emory and would allow me to flourish as a student.

Diversity, not just in race, but in socioeconomic status, sexual orientation and most importantly, perspective, both academically and socially, is the type of variation fostered at Emory. This is the type of college experience I want as I’ve learned that only through differences can intellectual curiosity truly be fostered.

Emory’s location would allow me the amenities of Atlanta without having to forego a traditional college experience. I could try authentic Persian food one night and go karaoke the next. Art is a personal hobby of mine and I can foresee many art crawls given Atlanta’s vibrant art scene. Of course, a visit to Emory’s own Michael C. Carlos museum would be due first.

Beyond the city, Georgia is host to a myriad of beautiful landscapes. I could hike at Tallulah Gorge or enjoy the scenic view at Amicalola. Emory’s active campus life would also mean weekends filled with prominent guest-speakers and exploring new hobbies. What I appreciate about Emory is the balance between academics and social life because while college is a place to learn, it is also a place to make memories.

I’ve never regretted my time here. I simply exhausted all the available resources and it’s my responsibility to go where I can flourish as a student in every sense, and this place for me, is Emory University.  

Why This Essay Worked

Successful Emory essay examples will specify what makes Emory the right place for an applicant. This essay does just that. Moreover, it offers a great example of a common college transfer essay format. Namely, it describes why the student wishes to transfer while detailing what makes Emory the perfect fit for them. 

As one of our Emory essay examples, the writer of this sample transfer essay makes it clear why Emory is the right fit for them. First, the writer describes how they’ve used their time at TCU to gain a sense of their academic interests and goals. They then clarify how, in this journey of self-discovery, they have realized why TCU isn’t the right place for them. 

This sample transfer essay then uses specific examples of why Emory would be a better fit. They mention specific courses, programs, and other offerings. This sample transfer essay also highlights why Atlanta would be a better college setting for this student than Fort Worth. Strong Emory essay examples will be specific—that is, they’ll discuss particular programs and offerings only found at Emory. 

Overall, this transfer essay example excels at describing who this student is, why they wish to transfer, and how they’d leverage Emory’s resources. 

Next, let’s look at some more transfer essays that worked—namely, a successful Wesleyan essay. 

Wesleyan Essay — Transfer Essays That Worked

Next, let’s dig into another one of our Common App transfer essay examples. Like the first of our Common App transfer essay examples, the essay below includes detailed and specific information about how the writer will thrive at their new institution. 

Our next transfer essay example is for Wesleyan . Let’s take a look at the essay and explore why it stood out to Wesleyan admissions:

Wesleyan Transfer Essay Example

My need for academic diversity marks the first reason behind my desire to transfer. The reality is that there is a disproportionate emphasis placed on business and natural sciences at my current college. While these majors deserve merit, the situation here translates to a lack of the same quality of opportunities and resources for the humanities. I realized that I need a setting where every academic field is equally regarded because it is in these types of environments that intellectual curiosity is truly fostered.

While I spent my initial months as a pre-major, I took a medley of courses to ensure that I chose a path I was genuinely passionate about. I am unable to pursue my academic desires here, but at Wesleyan, I can. My first year of college helped me to narrow down my want for a cosmopolitan education. During a class, I was introduced to literary and post-colonial theory and discovered a new passion. I want to pursue certification in Social, Cultural, and Critical Theory for a diversified education, and with the interdisciplinary coursework at Wesleyan, I could do so. With intense courses and guidance from caring faculty, Wesleyan would allow me the strong and intimate academic foundation that I desire.

Wesleyan has what I am looking for and am unfortunately unable to find at my current school: enthusiasm for languages. I possess a passion for foreign languages and with Wesleyan’s orientation intense curricula for foreign languages, I would have a supportive environment. While I am currently taking 2 languages, I hope to pursue Arabic language and culture, and in addition, live in the Turath Program House. Foreign languages are usually regarded as a side-study but with the open curriculum and programming at Wesleyan, I could allow foreign languages the space in my academic schedule that it deserves. 

My first year made me realize how I took diversity for granted. Diversity, not just in ethnicity, but in socioeconomic background, sexual orientation, and most importantly, perspective, is the type of representation I want on a campus. Wesleyan truly reflects the concept of equal opportunity in every sense. Coming from a background where food stamps were normalized and then moving to a school where most of the student body comes from the upper socioeconomic trend has been eye-opening.

The notion that there is a disparity in resources and experiences between polar financial levels is swept under the rug here. I appreciate that Wesleyan not only acknowledges but acts towards lessening the gap by providing resources and opportunities to low-income/first-gen families. It’s this type of effort that will allow those without equal access to have the stability for their academic merits to shine through.

Wesleyan’s location also offers me the scenic nature-based and intimate small-town vibe that I desire. While I love Fort Worth, the climate, people, and attractions in Middletown would fit me better. Whether I’m hiking at Cockaponset or attending a play by ArtFarm with my friends, I would get the college experience that I desire without foregoing an intimate college community. 

Why this essay worked

While this Common App transfer essay prompt isn’t in use anymore, this Wesleyan essay answers a standard question: why do you wish to transfer, and why Wesleyan? 

Once again, the writer of this transfer essay example gives reasons why their current school isn’t the right fit. They express their desire for more academic, cultural, racial, and social diversity than is available on their current college campus. Many college essays that worked discuss diversity and inclusion; this Wesleyan essay writer showcases how they’ll enrich their future campus community. In doing so, it gives Wesleyan admissions officers a strong sense of the student’s values. 

Additionally, this Wesleyan essay uses specific details to show what makes Wesleyan the right fit for this student. In particular, this sample transfer essay describes in detail the writer’s passion for studying languages. The writer details how they would use Wesleyan’s resources to explore this passion. 

In reading this essay, the Wesleyan admissions team can see clearly how the student would make use of Wesleyan’s resources. 

Like our other Common App transfer essay examples, this Wesleyan essay illustrates why the writer wishes to transfer. At the same time, it emphasizes how they would make the most of their new institution. 

USC Transfer Essay Examples

Let’s move on to more college transfer essay examples and take a look at some USC transfer essay examples. We hope these Common App transfer essay examples help you prepare to craft your own essays. 

In the 2021 admissions cycle, the USC transfer acceptance rate was about 26% according to the USC admissions office. While USC does not widely publicize the USC transfer acceptance rate, it’s generally reported as around 24-26%. In other words, you can assume that the USC transfer acceptance rate is relatively low. That means you should do all you can to prepare your transfer application ahead of the USC transfer deadline. Note that the USC transfer deadline is February 15th for most programs. 

Overall, the USC transfer requirements are similar to those for other schools. They include the Common Application, your high school transcript, and your college transcript. Some academic programs require additional letters of recommendation, portfolio materials, and other supplements. You’ll complete the USC college transfer essays through the Common App. 

USC Transfer Essay Examples — Long Answer

The USC transfer requirements will vary by major. However, regardless of additional USC transfer requirements for certain programs, you’ll need USC college transfer essays.

Unlike the rest of our transfer essay examples, the USC transfer essay examples also include short answer responses. So, in addition to the main USC college transfer essay, you’ll find some short-form USC transfer essay examples below. 

Let’s start with the main USC transfer essay: 

USC Transfer Essay Example

The feature that appeals the most to me about USC is the zeal that the English department displays. It was the amount of English-oriented events that hooked me and the quality of them that finally reeled me into USC’s shore. Numerous poetry readings, prominent guest speakers, and enthusiastic organizations geared towards English would help immensely with supplementing my learning experience. The cherry on top is the study abroad program entwined with English, allowing for total immersion into the culture and subject.

These types of academic opportunities are integral to making the most of my studies. Furthermore, I would be remiss to not acknowledge the world-class faculty at USC’s English department. What USC presents is an academic environment where the ardor I have for English is matched. It’s a community where college isn’t viewed as a method of job placement but a place to foster intellectual curiosity.

Socially, my current school has been full of learning experiences as I navigated a social scene that starkly contrasted against the ones I grew up with. However, I knew this was a common experience and stayed optimistic. I dabbled in clubs, finding some that piqued my interest, and rushed a sorority before discovering what I wanted to direct my time and effort towards.

While I opted out of Greek life, I did find organizations and people on campus that I enjoyed, such as Spectrum (LGBTQ+) and Hall Crew, an organization geared towards dorm-community bonding. However, some contemplation allowed me to recognize that the people I had gravitated towards drew me in due to a recurring sentiment: my desire for a more diverse setting.

When the word “diversity” is mentioned, people naturally assume ethnicity. While this factor is an important component in the multi-faceted topic of diversity, it isn’t all-encompassing. My current school has helped me realize that diversity, not just in race, but in sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and most importantly, perspective, is a necessary aspect of a college environment. Attending USC would give me a chance to experience the kind of diversity I crave; a campus comprised of students from all over the globe would ensure this. 

The first of our USC transfer essay examples indicates exactly what attracts this applicant to USC. In this sample transfer essay, the writer describes their interest in USC’s English program and why it would fit them. As you read this transfer essay example, you can imagine this student thriving on USC’s campus. 

Once again, like other transfer essays that worked, this transfer essay example shows why the writer was dissatisfied with their college. However, it doesn’t dwell on the negatives—instead, this sample transfer essay looks forward to the writer’s goals at USC. 

To make the most of your USC essays, make sure you draft them well ahead of the USC transfer deadline. This gives you enough time to polish your essays and make sure they highlight your strengths. Transfer essays that worked are often initially written well before the deadline and revised several times.

USC Transfer Essay Examples — Short Answer

Next, let’s take a look at more Common App transfer essay examples—namely, the short answer USC transfer essay examples: 

1. What is the most fun you’ve had lately?

On the Fourth of July, I braved the scorching heat at Six Flags over Atlanta, my favorite childhood vacation spot. I got drenched on Thunder River, lost my voice on Goliath, and won a giant stuffed Pokemon in a ball toss game. As the sun set, I admired the fireworks while devouring two plates of food at the all-you-can-eat buffet.  

2. If you had to give yourself a nickname, what would it be?

After joining the middle school swim team, I discovered that I was a terrible diver and would always painfully belly flop into the water. I begged my parents to let me volunteer at the library instead. While watching the librarian’s favorite movie, “Ella Enchanted,” she affectionately shortened my name to Ella. I moved the next summer, so the nickname always evokes nostalgia for my hometown. 

3. What are three things you don’t care about at all?

The difference between white and yellow onions (I use them interchangeably in my recipes.)

The iOS versus Android debate (I have a Galaxy phone and a Macbook.) 

The correct way to hang toilet paper (I keep the rolls in a cabinet to hide them from my two mischievous cats.) 

4. Describe a situation in which you didn’t get something you felt you deserved.

With plans to diversify the fundraisers and collaborate with community partners, I campaigned to be UNICEF Club president my junior year of high school. I was excited to be more involved in the organization I had volunteered with for years. Unfortunately, I had to miss the election day to receive my green card and was ultimately not selected.

5. What do you see as the physician’s role in Public Health? Please answer the question in 150 words or less.

Especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic, I see physicians as educators and advocates for their communities. While conducting research and volunteering at my local food pantry, I saw how the pandemic led to rising medical misinformation and mistrust and exacerbated barriers to accessing healthcare. When unemployment soared in March 2020, I noted the strain on clients at the local food bank, who struggled to afford groceries, utilities, and medical bills. I believe that physicians should advocate for increasing access to affordable healthcare, from expanding subsidized coverage to lowering surprise medical bills.

As a Research Assistant, I discovered that a quarter of the rural patients with HIV in our study believed that COVID-19 vaccinations were dangerous or linked to autism. Through creating trusting relationships and supportive environments, I believe physicians can guide patients to make informed health decisions that optimize their clinical outcomes. 

Why these essays worked

Like any college essays that worked, these USC transfer essay examples showcase what makes the writer unique. The best Common App transfer essay examples clearly demonstrate the writer’s personality and how they’ll enrich their next college campus. 

Remember, every college transfer essay gives you the chance to tell the admissions team something new about you. Certainly, these short answer responses follow a different college transfer essay format than our longer Emory essay examples or the Wesleyan essay. However, they manage to include a lot of valuable information in a limited number of words. 

Let’s look at the last of our transfer essays that worked—our UMiami essay examples. 

UMiami Essay Examples — College Transfer Essay

Next, we’ll dig into UMiami essay examples to get a better understanding of college essays that worked. 

Here’s one of our UMiami essay examples from an admitted transfer student:

UMiami Transfer Essay Example

I took a medley of classes to ensure that I chose my major with confidence, which led to my decision to apply as an English major and Modern Language and Literature minor to UMiami. I hope to study Japanese and Arabic, along with French if my schedule permits. Beyond the depth, rigor, and range of the courses themselves, the sheer breadth of the programming would allow me to supplement my education with a curriculum outside the classroom. Both the English and the MLL department have enthusiastic programming ranging from lectures given by prominent guest-speakers, friendly gatherings, and study abroad programs that would really allow me to make the most of my education.

I fully intend to pursue research as well, as my time as a research assistant has fostered my passion for knowledge and discovery in the humanities. The experience will also help me while I pursue the Departmental Honors Program in English Literature. Beyond purely academic resources, the intimate approach to advising and the close faculty-to student ratio is what drew me to UMiami. The dedication to providing students with resources like research grants, internships, and career connections is the type of care that I want. I learned that while the right academic environment is important, support is essential to thrive not only as a student, but as a person.

Socially, UMiami leaves nothing left to be desired. I could take a stroll on the beach or finally get to try the famous Cafecito. The active campus itself would mean opportunities to discover new hobbies or make new memories with friends. I want to be able to look back fondly at the memories I made in college and UMiami would allow me to do that. I would also love to start a Dream Outside the Box chapter at UMiami as my experience with this organization geared towards better access to education has been profound and I am a staunch believer in bettering local communities first.

In the last of our Common App transfer essay examples, the writer includes specific details about why UMiami is the right place for them. 

Once again, the writer of this sample transfer essay delineates what UMiami offers that their current college does not. Successful UMiami essay examples will be specific to the school. So, as you read UMiami essay examples like this one, look for ways to link your interests to the school’s offerings.

In this transfer essay example, the writer outlines the specific programs, foreign languages, and offerings that they plan to pursue at UMiami. They also include specific details about the college’s location and culture. These details make obvious their interest in the institution and the time they’ve taken to research their (prospective) future home.

Understanding the UMiami Transfer Acceptance Rate

In general, transfer acceptance rates are not widely published online—the UMiami transfer acceptance rate is no different. While it’s generally reported to be around 50%, students should still assume that the UMiami transfer acceptance rate is relatively competitive . To put it another way, don’t take the UMiami essay for granted. After all, UMiami is one of the best colleges in Florida, so admission is never guaranteed. 

By now, we’ve read UMiami essay examples, Wesleyan essays, and other transfer essays that worked. We hope you now have a better understanding of what makes a successful college transfer essay. Next, let’s dig into some more transfer essay tips to help you succeed. 

How is a college transfer essay different?

Overall, the transfer application process is slightly different from the first-year application process. As you’ve likely noticed in our successful transfer essay examples, most transfer essays look rather different from standard personal statements. 

When applying as a transfer student, admissions officers want to know why you’ve decided to transfer and what interests you about their school. They also want to learn about your educational plans (including your choice of major) and your career goals. 

Similar to our transfer essays that worked, college transfer essays often revolve around an applicant’s character as a student and future professional. Compare this to a Common App personal statement, which usually focuses on who you are as a person. Clearly, your academic and career pathways matter a bit more as a transfer student. 

Of course, you should take every opportunity to show the admissions committee what makes you unique. However, you should also ensure you include specific details about what makes your future academic program a better fit. 

College Transfer Essay Format

In general, most schools use a similar college transfer essay format. The Common App transfer essay prompts you’ll find will also often have some similarities. Most schools will ask students to state their reasons for transferring and explain why they’ve chosen to apply. 

As you approach this type of prompt, think about:

• The major you’d like to pursue
• Academic programs that are not available at your current school
• Important differences between your current campus community and the school where you’re applying

Word counts will vary by school, so always check each institution’s requirements. You should also read each Common App transfer essay prompt carefully to ensure you follow the right format. 

You can also write an initial college transfer essay and adapt different sections to suit different prompts. However, you should always include specific details about how you plan to spend your time at your next college. 

Additional Transfer Essay Tips

We’ve looked at some successful Common App transfer essay examples. Next, let’s review three transfer essay tips to help your essays shine:

• Be specific. Tailor each college transfer essay to your chosen school, even if you start with the same basic details about yourself. Make sure you indicate specific things that school offers that you can’t find at your current institution.
• Keep it positive. As a transfer student, it might be tempting to write negatively about your current school. However, focus instead on what your current school has taught you about yourself and prepared you to succeed elsewhere.  
• Be thorough. Your college transfer essays are one of the few chances you get to address the admissions committee on your own terms. Make the most of the word count to highlight who you are and how you’d enrich their campus. 

We hope these transfer essay tips give you confidence as you approach the college transfer essay process. 

Other CollegeAdvisor Essay Resources to Explore

As we’ve discussed, while there are some key differences, writing a college transfer essay is relatively similar to writing a first-year admissions essay. For more transfer essay tips, check out some of our other resources below:

• AO Advice: How to Write Great Supplemental Essays That Stand Out — In this webinar, our former Admissions Officers share how to write supplemental essays that shine. 
• Columbia Essay Examples — This guide includes several successful essays from Columbia University and explains what made them work. 
• Editing Your Supplemental Essays —  This webinar walks you through the process of editing your Common App transfer essays to make them strong, clear, and concise. 
• How to Write a Personal Statement — Read more college essays that worked and learn expert tips to make yours unique. 

For more guidance, you can also check out Carnegie Mellon’s tips on writing strong Common App transfer essays. Amherst also offers useful tips, including a successful Common App transfer essay. Finally, Moorpark College has a great slide deck featuring some advice on the UC transfer process. 

If you’re certain about transferring but unsure about where you want to go, we can help. Our three-part College Finder series covers the college search process, making a college list , and comparing colleges . Although many of our free articles are aimed at first-year applicants, their advice is broadly applicable. They can help you figure out how to frame your college transfer essays or research where you want to go.

College Transfer Essay — Final Thoughts

In this article, we walked you through different sample transfer essays and Common App transfer essay prompt responses. Additionally, we offered some transfer essay tips to help you write the strongest college transfer essays you can. We hope our Common App transfer essay examples help you feel more confident as you navigate the transfer application process. 

If you want more support as you complete your Common App transfer essays, we’re here to help. Click here to schedule a consultation with our Admissions Specialists. We’ll help you learn more about how CollegeAdvisor can help you maximize your admissions odds.

This article was written by Abbie Sage. Looking for more admissions support? Click here to schedule a free meeting with one of our Admissions Specialists. During your meeting, our team will discuss your profile and help you find targeted ways to increase your admissions odds at top schools. We’ll also answer any questions and discuss how CollegeAdvisor.com can support you in the college application process.

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How to Write a College Transfer Essay: A Step-by-Step Guide

Reviewed by:

Rohan Jotwani

Former Admissions Committee Member, Columbia University

Reviewed: 10/05/23

If you’re considering switching colleges and want to learn how to write a college transfer essay, read on.

There are multiple reasons to transfer colleges: you weren’t able to get into your top choice in your first round of applications, you want to change your major , or maybe you just have the world’s worst roommate. 

Whatever your reason may be, you should know the transfer process can be lengthy and will differ from your original college applications. For instance, now that you’ve completed some postsecondary education, your undergrad grades will be considered more than your high school GPA. 

Additionally, you’ll have to write a college transfer essay to introduce yourself to the committee and explain why you’d like to join their school. This essay tends to be the hardest part of transfer applications. 

If you’re unsure of where to begin or how to write a successful college transfer essay, this guide has got you covered!

How to Write a College Transfer Essay

Here is a breakdown of how to write an impressive college transfer essay.:

How to Start the Transfer Essay

Your introduction is arguably the most important part of your essay because it’s the first paragraph the committee will read. Accordingly, it has to be intriguing enough to urge them to continue reading. 

Many students start their essays with a statement or story related to their reason for transferring. A safe way to begin your essay is to share a specific principle you have about education that is rooted in an authentic experience.

Maybe you’ve always valued hands-on learning and have a famous story about taking apart your dad’s favorite replica aircraft and putting it back together to learn how it works.

Or, maybe you had a sick relative whose experience in and out of the hospital made you appreciate scientific experimentation and discovery, leading you to pursue medicine at a research-intensive school. 

Regardless of your educational principles, ensure you use a memorable experience to share it. Immerse the readers into your narrative so they feel more connected to you and your words! Here are some tips to keep in mind when writing your introduction:

Reconsider Using Famous Quotes 

While there have been successful college transfer essays that used quotes as their opening line, you should avoid overused quotes. If you’re beginning your essay with the phrase “knowledge is power,” it’s time to revisit your list of motivational quotes. 

If you’re set on opening your essay with a quote, choose one the committee hasn’t heard before and think outside the box! You could choose a quote from your favorite book, a show, or a movie. An even better way to ensure you use a unique opening is to quote a family member or friend! 

Maybe your mother always told you to stand up for yourself and that “if someone hits you, you hit them right back!” This seemingly unrelated quote could be used to explain how you’ve always been your biggest self-advocate and fight hard to have what you want, including a high-quality education. 

Forget the Theatrics

You don’t have to choose a story with a nail-biting hook or dramatic ending. Your story doesn’t need to involve a near-death epitome, a tragic loss, or a heroic save. Keep it simple! 

By that same token, don’t use exaggerated or false stories just to prove a point. The admissions committee will see through this and will dock you points for being ingenuine. 

Explain Why You Chose Your Current School

Once you’ve written an attention-grabbing introduction, the next step is to explain why you chose your current school. Perhaps the school boasted its Socratic teaching method that allows students to take charge of their education. Or, it offered a program of specific interest to you. Maybe you chose it simply because it’s one of the top colleges to transfer to .  

Regardless of your reasons, you must include them in your essay to explain how your expectations were not met. This part should be fact-focused. Be succinct and list the reasons you chose your current school over others.

Explain the Reasons You Want to Transfer

Once you’ve recounted the reasons you chose your current school, think about the reasons you decided to leave it. A large part of learning the art of essay writing is knowing what not to say! While you want to remain honest, your answer should revolve around the education you received at your school.

Here are some questions to ask yourself as you write this part of your essay:

• Did your program/institution live up to all of your expectations?
• Did you receive the education and support you hoped for?
• Were there enough opportunities for intellectual, personal, and professional growth?
• Are you closer to achieving your career goals after attending your current school?
• What’s missing from your education? What makes you hesitant to stay at your current school?
• Have your career plans changed? Can your current school offer you the resources you need to pursue this new path?

Even if you’re transferring because your roommate never washes the dishes or you’re trying to escape a clingy ex, the admissions committee won’t be interested or amused by these reasons. 

Focus on the positives of your school but explain how they fell short. Perhaps the Socratic teaching method you hoped for fell short of equal dialogue and was more of a typical lecture. Maybe you had a eureka moment in an elective that made you want to switch to a program your current school doesn’t offer.

On the other hand, your current school may have already fulfilled the role it was meant to play. For instance, you may have chosen your current school to stay close to home and care for a sick family member or to take general courses to boost your GPA. 

Explain how these goals were fulfilled and how you’d like to move on to the next stage of your education. No matter what your reasons for transferring are, you’ll need to provide concrete examples to support your claims. Share specific experiences that led to your decision to transfer schools.

This part of your college transfer essay can be tricky. You’ll want to provide concrete examples of how your current school fails to meet your expectations without badmouthing it. To find this balance, avoid making these mistakes:

Placing Blame

Don’t blame your current school for failing to meet your expectations. 

Explaining how the professors were monotonous robots with no enthusiasm for teaching or that the class sizes were far too big to feel connected to your mentors will make you seem too critical. 

You want to phrase your issues in a way that still sheds a positive light on their curriculum and community. In essence, you want to follow a “it’s not you, it’s me” type of explanation! You should explain how your current university offers great resources but not the best ones for your personal aspirations. 

Throwing In the Towel

You should also mention the ways you tried to make the best of your situation at your current school. Even though you ultimately realized your school couldn’t offer you the education or resources you need, you should demonstrate your determination to make it work. 

If your main issue was the lack of connection between you and your professors, you could share how you attended office hours regularly to have more one-on-one conversations. Demonstrate you tried to remedy your issues before deciding to transfer. This will show maturity, perseverance, and adaptability!

Explain Your Academic and Career Goals

This next part of your essay should be tied to what you’ve said previously. Think about your academic goals and what your plans are for the future. 

Here are some questions to guide this part of your essay:

• Where do you hope your education takes you? 
• What will your education be used for? 
• What grades do you hope to receive? 
• What program will help you achieve your career goals?
• What kind of mentors do you believe will help you achieve your academic and career goals?
• What school-based extracurriculars will aid you in your aspirations?

Use these questions to figure out what your specific academic and career goals are. 

Explain Why You Want to Attend the Transfer College

Using the ideas you brainstormed from the previous sections, you want to focus your attention on explaining how your academic and career goals will be best met through your transfer college. 

Research your transfer college well and provide specific reasons explaining why you want to attend. Go deeper than simply retelling the school’s main values, and explain why you’re choosing it in detail. 

Focus on the type of education it provides, the school community and environment, and unique educational offerings, such as a particular program, teaching method, or experiential learning opportunities.

This part of your essay should be tailored specifically to your transfer college. If you can plug in any college name and use the same essay, you’ll need to add more details and continue working on it. 

Take Responsibility for Any Hiccups

Another factor to consider is taking responsibility for any shortcomings. If you’re transferring colleges and have low grades or otherwise unfavorable aspects on your application, you should hold yourself accountable in your essay.

Do not blame your current school for your low grades. Even if you had a poor experience that made it difficult to excel, your grades are ultimately your responsibility. Explain how you will improve in your transfer school and the steps you’ve taken to become a stronger student. 

Focus on Reflection

Your college transfer essay is essentially a reflection on your university experience and goals. This helps narrow things down and ensure you don’t choose a taboo essay topic . Just keep it simple and truthful by sharing your academic journey and why it’s brought you to where you are today.

As important as it is to share your next steps and eagerness to join your transfer school, it’s equally as important to reflect on the present and past. 

You should reflect on your own educational principles, your reasons for attending your current school, the ups and downs that influenced you to transfer, and finally, how your transfer school will assist you in the next stage of your educational journey.

Keep It Casual

Your transfer statement isn’t your typical structured, formal three-body paragraph essay. Keep it casual, and don’t be afraid to use contractions or more colloquial language. 

While you, of course, want to avoid using slang or distasteful language, you should let your personality shine through and give your essay a more conversational feel. 

The admissions committee should feel like they’re getting to know more about your essence and values, not just your impeccable writing skills—although those are essential to demonstrate too!

Have Clear Intentions

Admissions committees will appreciate if you can demonstrate clear direction and intention in your essay. Provide specific examples of what you need your university to provide to help you reach your goals and how these needs are not being met currently.

Demonstrate Your Growth

Your university experience should offer you more insight and perspective on education. Share this perspective in your essay and prove you are a mature and insightful student. 

A good indicator of maturity is speaking positively about your current school despite its limitations. You should portray both an eagerness to pursue other options and an appreciation for your current university. In other words, you should prove that while your current school isn’t the best fit for you, it’s still an excellent school!

Make it Personal

We’ve said it multiple times, and we’re saying it one last time in hopes you won’t forget. Use as many concrete examples as you can throughout your essay. Do not rely on any vague aspirations or reasons for transferring. 

Go deeper than simply wanting a higher quality education! What made your current school’s education unsatisfactory? What experiences led to the conclusion that you needed more? How can your transfer school fill in this gap? 

Keep in mind that this advice also applies to a transfer applicant’s personal statement. The overall goal is to be as genuine as possible while staying true to your goal - communicating your desire to attend the college. 

Edit Multiple Times

You may have great ideas and an excellent story to tell in your essay, but having poor grammar or spelling errors will reduce your essay’s effectiveness.

Ensure you edit your essay multiple times before submitting it. Take time between your editing sessions so you can look at it with fresh eyes each time. You’re more likely to catch errors this way!

How to Conclude the Transfer Essay

Overlooking the conclusion of your essay can make what would be an amazing essay a good essay. Considering schools are highly selective with transfer applications , especially Ivy League schools , a good essay is unlikely to win you any points with the admissions committee. 

Imagine your essay as a circle. To complete the circle, your final paragraph should reiterate the themes and principles mentioned in your introduction. Revisit the story you shared and reflect on the educational principle that guided your essay. 

Briefly reiterate what type of education you could receive at your current school—a great but ultimately unsuitable one—and mention the better-suited education you’d receive at your transfer school. 

The final conclusion in an essay for transfer students should be short, sweet, and straightforward. It should not:

Leave the Readers Wanting More

There should be no cliffhangers in your essay. You aren’t writing a novel with a sequel; this essay is all the admissions committee will receive, so you want it to paint a comprehensive and complete picture of yourself.

Introduce New Information

Don’t use your conclusion to throw in any afterthoughts you had while revising your essay. You’ll have a lot of ideas for what to include in your essay, but you shouldn’t try to fit all of them into such a limited space. 

Make Promises

Don’t try to convince the admissions committee to accept you into their programs by making bogus promises. You don’t need to promise them you’ll be a stellar student at the top of your classes or that you’ll make great contributions to their school community. 

There should be no ultimatums in your essay! If you find yourself writing a sentence along the lines of “If you accept me into your school, I promise to…”, dial it back and refocus your conclusion. 

Mistakes to Avoid in Your College Transfer Essay

When crafting your college transfer essay, it's essential to steer clear of common pitfalls that can hinder your chances of acceptance. This is especially important in writing effective transfer essays for Ivy League schools that are looking for the best of the best.

Clarity Is Key

Make sure your essay is crystal clear in explaining your reasons for transferring and what you hope to achieve at your prospective new college. Avoid vague or overly broad statements that might leave the admissions committee perplexed about your motivations.

Emphasize Positivity

Another crucial mistake to avoid is adopting a negative tone throughout your essay. While acknowledging your reasons for transferring is important, dwelling solely on the negative aspects of your current college experience can be off-putting. Instead, emphasize your desire for fresh opportunities and personal growth.

Tailor Your Essay

One-size-fits-all essays are also to be avoided. When you look at an 

sample of a transfer statement or an essay that’s been successful, you’ll notice that it’s not generic. So, do your best to tailor your essay to the specific college you're applying to, highlighting what makes that institution the right fit for your educational goals. 

Focus on Aspirations

Additionally, resist the urge to place blame on your current college, professors, or classmates for your decision to transfer. Focus on your aspirations and what you hope to achieve at the new college.

Stay Realistic

Be realistic in your expectations; avoid making it sound like the new college is a magical solution to all your academic or personal challenges. Keep your essay concise and within the prescribed word limit, as admissions officers have many essays to review.

Thorough Research Matters

Thoroughly research the new college and mention specific programs, professors, or resources that align with your goals. Grammatical errors and spelling mistakes can detract from your essay's impact, so proofread it carefully.

Highlight Personal Growth

Lastly, don't forget to showcase personal growth and the lessons you've learned from your current college experience. Admissions officers appreciate applicants who demonstrate self-awareness and a commitment to growth.

Hopefully this breakdown has inspired you to write your own memorable essay.

College Transfer Essay Example

Understanding the steps to write a college transfer essay and what to avoid is a great place to start, but you might still be struggling to visualize what an excellent transfer essay looks like. Take a look at these examples of transfer essays to get started.  

Essay Example #1

Here is a successful college transfer essay example that got a student into Duke University—a school with a transfer acceptance rate ranging from 3% to 7% in the past five years.

“A goal without a plan is just a wish, and I don't consider myself to be a wishful thinker, but a person of practical approach. And so, when I began my freshman year of college, Louisiana State University was strategically the best available option. 

LSU offered the scholarships I needed, including the statewide TOPS program which, at the time, guaranteed the price of tuition for anyone with an ACT score of twenty-seven or above. 

Additionally, LSU had no cap on early credit, which allowed me to put to use the seventy-four hours I had amassed in high school towards pursuing majors in political science, economics, and French with an Arabic minor.

However, I didn't know the hindrances I would face at LSU in pursuit of my chosen career path until I was plugging into the campus community, at which point I found a number of pragmatic reasons that LSU is no longer appropriate for the goals towards which I am working.

The obstacles began to arise when I finally honed my interests. I distinctly remember change brewing as I sat in my biweekly social contract seminar listening to my professor discuss the paper he was working on, in which he aimed to tie human prosociality to neuroplasticity, all of which, he argued, would undermine Hobbes’ social contract theory.

That’s what I wanted – not the subject matter, but the principle. I wanted the attempt; I wanted to learn and to theorize and even to be wrong sometimes. I wanted to translate my interdisciplinary interests in political and economic theory into applicable policy.

Given my passion for writing and discussion, sharing theories and findings with colleagues and inspiring students, too, was ideal. And so, I finally knew I wanted to be a professor of public policy.

Sadly, LSU did not have a public policy program, and so I defaulted to political science. However, the political science department is inherently theory-based rather than policy-oriented. From studying the public policy curricula of other universities, I know that a public policy program is more suited to my own interest in applications of governance.

Undeterred by this initial setback and eager to begin my journey in the world of academia, I immediately sought research opportunities, but I quickly learned that they weren’t easily accessible.

Upon meeting with counsellors, I was told I would have to find professors to work with on my own, as there was no designated undergraduate research database or protocol. 

This in itself was another stark concern as I need a university in which conducting research is an integral part of the collegiate experience as it is a necessity in my education and preparation for the future. 

Though I have contacted professors, happy to take any experience I can get, I have found that most positions are reserved for upperclassmen and are primarily data entry oriented. 

Also, the lack of a public policy program has meant that the available work I have found does not meet the particular needs of the future policy-oriented research in which I hope to engage.

Though I know I could do well at LSU and receive an amazing education, staying at the university would mean, at best, having to overcome serious curricular deficits in achieving my goals or, at worst, having to change my plans altogether. 

And so, I have resolved to transfer in an effort to give myself the best possible opportunity to prepare for and succeed in my future.” 

Why This Essay Works

Like the Duke admissions committee, you were likely impressed by this essay! To ensure you know exactly what to include in your own essay, here are the aspects that make this Duke-approved essay successful:

Its Interesting Opening

This student uses their own quote to open their essay. As simple as their introduction is, it gets the point across and intrigues the reader to learn more. 

Right off the bat it also proves this student has a sense of direction; they have plans that they are determined to fulfill. This not only shows ambition but proves to the admission committee this student has actually put thought into their choice to transfer.

Its Use of Concrete Examples

The student recounts the exact moment they realized their current school did not offer the resources they needed to succeed. This personal story makes the essay more authentic and immerses the readers into their life and thought process.

Its Positive Outlook

While the student lists all the reasons for their transfer, namely that their current school does not offer the right program and that it has limited research opportunities, they remain positive throughout.

They still praise their current school for its excellent scholarship program, early credit approval, and thought-provoking lectures, but contend they require more to reach their goals.

This student also demonstrates their willingness to persevere and make the best of their situation by searching for research opportunities and joining the next best program available. Yet, despite their efforts, they decided a transfer was in their best interests. These traits, perseverance and self-awareness, are key to a great transfer essay!

Its Effective Conclusion

This essay proves your conclusion doesn’t have to be elaborate to work. This student’s conclusion reiterates their opinions on their current school, that it is great but not perfect, and states their opinions on their transfer school, that it can offer them the most opportunity. It is simple yet highly effective!

Essay Example #2

Take a look at this second transfer essay example . It was provided by Miami Dade College, which also has a collection of successful examples of personal statements for transfer applicants to refer to. 

Though the school this particular essay example was written for is unknown, it was indeed a successful essay and has much to offer. 

“On a dark and breezy night after a hurricane sped through town, a tall little girl sat on her great-aunt’s porch in Santa Clara and stared at the stars she had never before seen. They’re so bright, she thought in awe. 

They seemed so near, she might be able to reach out to the ashy vastness and grab one, maybe put it under her pillow to brighten her dreams. With eyes wide open, she listened to her momma tell stories of men with belts, and twin sisters, and brother bears, such fantastical worlds that made more sense than her own.

 A crooked smile adorned her chubby face as she sat on her momma’s lap amidst the laziness of a late summer weeknight. Her warm, mud pie eyes seemed to be too big for her little face every time they opened with wonder or grew with curiosity. The light that would shine from within them was something to behold. 

The way she would perk up at the mention of an adventure or a possible journey was almost comical. She was such an expressive child it felt almost as if you were watching a miniaturized adult. Sometimes, she would place her awkwardly big hands on her little hips and furrow her dark eyebrows as she reprimanded her dog for chewing apart her favorite Reptar quilt. 

A brave little thing she was, that charcoal-haired girl. She walked across the river before the others, making up a little trail on the rocks as she went so they weren’t scared. She challenged the fastest runner in third grade to a race; even though she lost, all the girls in fifth grade suddenly wanted to become her best friend. 

She wasn’t popular, but people knew her as the one who they could talk to. She wasn’t wise or all-knowing, but she always had something to say. She was an odd child, if not strange. 

She was quite tranquil, she never really cried when she fell from her bicycle. Instead of playing house, she played librarian. Instead of drawing pink flowers and blue skies, she would write her momma letters. 

Defining her was as difficult of a task as separating the different flavors of a melted Napolitano ice cream on a sticky Sunday afternoon. Yes, she was simple, but she had these moments where she would take the ordinary out of the world and make you forget there was something rather bland about everyday life. 

As that little girl grew older, she reminded herself of who she was, and promised never to forget. She vowed to remember how she grew up and reaffirm her belief in herself. She grew quickly, almost skipping through the teenage years like a child would through a hopscotch game. 

It happened so fast, it was almost impossible to distinguish at one point she was a little girl with a big dream, and when she turned into a woman with great hopes for her future.”

It’s clear why this essay was a success. Keep reading to learn why it resonated with the admissions committee. 

Compelling Storytelling

This essay begins with a captivating story set against the backdrop of a hurricane. It describes a young girl sitting on her great-aunt's porch, gazing at the stars with awe. This vivid imagery immediately draws the reader into the narrative, making it easy to picture the scene and the girl's sense of wonder.

Emotional Connection 

As the story unfolds, the reader is not just told about the girl's experiences but is made to feel them. We witness her curiosity, her bold challenges (like racing the fastest runner in her class), and her unique quirks (such as playing librarian and writing letters instead of drawing). This emotional connection helps us relate to the girl and understand her character.

Smooth Transition and Reflection

The essay smoothly transitions from describing the girl's childhood to her growth into a young woman. It skillfully highlights her commitment to maintaining her sense of self and personal growth. This transition bridges her past experiences with her future aspirations, making her transfer to a new college a natural and logical step in her journey.

Symbolism and Metaphor

The use of symbolism and metaphor enhances the essay's impact. The comparison of the girl's personality to "melted Napolitano ice cream on a sticky Sunday afternoon" vividly conveys her complexity. It suggests that she can transform ordinary situations into something extraordinary, hinting at her potential contributions to a new academic environment.

Resonance and Promise

The essay closes on a reflective note, emphasizing the girl's promise to remember her roots and her rapid transformation into adulthood. 

This conclusion creates a sense of resonance with the reader, leaving a lasting impression of her character and determination. It implies that she is ready for the opportunities and challenges that lie ahead in her college journey.

Hopefully, these samples of transfer essays have inspired you. To learn more, check out these other transfer essay examples .  

FAQs: Writing a College Transfer Essay

We’ve provided an in-depth tutorial on writing a college transfer essay that’ll impress the admissions committee and get you into your dream school. For any remaining questions, read on to find your answers.

1. How Do You Start a College Transfer Essay?

The best way to start a college transfer essay is by sharing a memorable experience that either influenced your decision to change schools or is integral to your perspective on education. 

2. How Long Should My Transfer Essay Be?

The exact length of your transfer essay will depend on the university you are applying to. However, these essays are typically around one to two pages long. 

3. How Do You Write a Short Transfer Essay?

Some universities will ask that your transfer essays do not exceed one page or around 250 words. In this case, it’s essential you still include all the necessary information listed in this guide but do so in a succinct way. Here are some general tips to make sure your short transfer essay still packs a punch:

• During the brainstorming process, separate all the great ideas from the excellent ones; only use the excellent ideas
• Share only one concrete experience that influenced you to transfer colleges
• Keep your introduction and conclusion short, preferably only a few sentences each
• Use simple, straightforward language and avoid overly flowery language that takes up valuable space 
• Focus on the big reasons you want to attend your transfer college, leave smaller perks out

While it may seem counterproductive, you should write your first rough draft without paying attention to the word count. If you worry too much about staying within the limits, you may leave out important ideas or overthink your narrative.

Once you’ve written out a good rough draft, spend time revising and cutting down to meet the requirements. This way, you’ll have all of your ideas written out and can pick the best ones.

4. What Should You Not Write in a Transfer Essay?

You should avoid the following in your college transfer essay:

• Overused or generic quotes
• Badmouthing your current school
• Blaming your current school for its inability to meet your expectations
• Exaggerated stories
• Vague reasons for your transfer
• Generic reasons to join your transfer school
• A conclusion that leaves the readers with more questions 

You should avoid making any grammatical, syntax, or spelling errors in your essay, as doing so will make it less effective. Also, keep in mind that using the same college essay for your transfer application is not a good idea. It may make you appear insincere and not fully engaged in your new academic path.

5. How Important Are Transfer Essays?

Your transfer essay isn’t the only application material the admissions committee will consider. However, it can play a large role in their selection process. In a recent survey, it was found that almost half of all participating colleges stated the transfer essay has considerable or moderate importance.

Hence, it’s essential you spend an adequate amount of time perfecting your essay to ensure it helps rather than harms your chances of acceptance. 

6. How Do You End a College Transfer Essay?

You should end your college transfer essay by revisiting the principle, experience, or statement you used in your introduction. Reiterate this sentiment and expand on it after sharing your experience with your current university and the experience you hope to have at your desired school.

Keep your conclusion brief and avoid making any promises to the admissions committee or including new information that would require further explanation. 

7. Are College Transfer Essays the Same as Personal Statements?

No, you’ll write personal statements during your first round of applications. These statements are more open-ended and broad than college transfer essays. They simply give the admissions committee more insight into who you are. 

Students may choose to write more about their academics, extracurriculars, or life experiences that influenced them to pursue a certain career path. The main purpose of your transfer essay is to explain why you’re switching schools. 

Final Thoughts

Don’t underestimate the power of your words! Understanding how to write a college transfer essay can be a game changer. A strong college transfer essay can convince the admissions committee you’re a mature, determined, and ambitious student who would make a great addition to their university.

Follow the tips and strategies shared in this guide to ensure you write a memorable and winning college transfer essay! 

Access 20+ Transfer Essay Examples Here

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Transfer Essays That Worked

The essays are a place to show us who you are and who you’ll be in our community.

As a transfer applicant, your essay is a chance to tell the admissions committee more about your background or goals and how you would pursue them at Hopkins. Below you’ll find selected examples of transfer applicant essays that “worked,” as nominated by our admissions committee.

These selections represent just a few essays we found impressive and helpful during the past admissions cycle. We hope these examples inspire you as you prepare to compose your own essay. The most important thing to remember is to be original as you share your own story, thoughts, and ideas with us.

Read essays that worked from first-year applicants .

Essays that worked.

Bedtime Stories

Summer Mai Li connects the personal stories of her loved ones to global civil and human rights issues that she intends to study during her time at Hopkins.

Becoming a Better Mathematician

Jorge’s essay provides the admissions committee with a detailed narrative about his lifelong interest in mathematics: how he discovered it, cultivated it, and pursued it to the highest level available.

Pursuing My Passion in Research

Through her transfer essay, Klaire showcases her deep interest in advancing scientific research through her experiences at her community college and her future at Hopkins.

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How to Write a College Transfer Essay

How to write a college transfer essay in 2024.

Bonus Material: PrepMaven’s Transfer Application Statistics for Top Schools

For most students, making the final decision about which college to attend is the end of a long, stressful process. But what if you go through all that and aren’t happy at your current school? Or perhaps you’re finishing up your Associate’s degree at community college and plan to transfer to a four-year school. Either way, you’re not alone–and you’re not stuck. 

Many students decide to transfer from university to another at some point in their academic careers. While this isn’t uncommon, it can be hard to find good guidance about transferring schools. How is a transfer application different from your regular Common Application? How important are transfer essays? How are transfer essays different from your college application essays?

In this post, we’ll use our decades of experience guiding students through the admissions process to help break down how to write your college transfer essay to maximize your chances of acceptance. 

Download PrepMaven’s Transfer Application Statistics for Top Schools

Jump to section: What Is the Common App Transfer Essay? Transfer Essays Dos and Don’ts Transfer Essay Writing Tips How Is the Transfer Essay Different from the Regular College Essay? Next steps

What Is the Common App Transfer Essay?

Most universities that accept the Common App for high school applicants will also ask you to submit transfer applications through the Common App. 

When applying as a transfer student, however, you’ll generally have to answer one or more school-specific essays targeted at transfer students. In general, you’ll be asked to write about 500 words in response to a question about why you feel you’d benefit from continuing your education at a different university. 

Some schools, especially more prestigious ones, will also ask additional transfer essay questions–such as what about their offerings attracts you, or what you were missing at your previous university. 

These prompts will vary slightly from school to school and year to year, but you can always find this information on the Common App page for the school you’re applying to, as well as on that school’s website. 

Princeton, for example, will expect you to answer all of the essay prompts that high school applicants answer, as well as two additional ones: 

Have you had any interruptions or gaps in your education since high school or college, or have you left any school voluntarily for a significant time frame? If so, please explain the timeline of your postsecondary career. (Please respond in about 150 words.) What are your plans during and after your higher education experience? (Please respond in about 150 words.)

Harvard also asks you to answer additional questions for a transfer application: 

Briefly, please indicate the most influential factors in your decision to attend your present college (for example, location, cost, size of student body, only option, special program offered, Early Decision plan, etc.) What alternatives to transferring to Harvard are you considering? Please indicate your field of specialization and briefly outline your academic plans at Harvard College. What are your current postgraduate/career plans? Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced you.

These are generally fairly short essay prompts, but the key difference from your original college application is that there isn’t one “main” Common App essay for transfer applications. Instead, your “transfer essay” will be determined by what school you’re applying to. 

When you create a Common App transfer application account, you’ll be asked to add the school’s you plan to transfer to. In addition to the general information you’ll fill out in the Common Application portal (academics, demographics, activities), each school will have a separate application for you to fill out, and this is where you’ll find the transfer essay prompt . 

So, instead of having one “personal essay,” you’ll likely have several personal statements, one for each transfer school you’re applying to. 

These transfer essay prompts can vary. Generally, though, you can expect to be asked to discuss your reasons for leaving your current school, your career goals, and why you want to attend this transfer college. 

Below, we’ve collected some statistics on transfer acceptance rates to top schools. We’ll be honest: transferring to a top school can be just as hard–or harder!–than applying there out of high school. These statistics can help you get a sense of your chances, aiding in your transfer application planning. Download them for free now!

Transfer Essays Dos and Don’ts

If you’re looking to scan over your transfer essay and make some quick changes that can instantly boost your chances, check out our quick-fix guide to college essays , then read on for specific Dos and Don’ts. 

Things to do:

• Do be clear about what you’re missing at your current university. It’s a fine line to walk, but it’s important to be up front about this: if your current school were perfect, then why would you be transferring? Perhaps the academic program doesn’t align with your educational goals. Or perhaps they’re missing resources to launch you into your chosen career path. In any case, be clear!
• Do touch on what you’ve been able to gain from your current college so far. What skills/perspective/knowledge do you have now that you didn’t in high school? If you’re the kind of student who was rejected by the kinds of schools you’re now trying to transfer to, you especially need to show how you’ve developed and grown since high school. 
• Do identify specific elements that draw you to the transfer school. We touched on this above, but you want to be really clear about why you’d benefit from a transfer. 
• Do show what you bring to the table. In other words, why should this school accept you? You might want to connect this to your collegiate academic accomplishments, research experience, or community involvement. 

Things to avoid:

• Don’t be overly negative about your current school. It’s a tough line to walk, but the key is conveying that there’s something missing, or that there’s some disconnect between the college experience and what you need. It’s not to complain about your current school or to give the impression that you’re “better than” the school. 
• Don’t (!!) complain about other students. This is a huge red flag: even if you’ve had problems getting along with other students, you need to keep this to yourself. Otherwise, you’ll come off as someone who’ll cause problems or who is antisocial. 
• Don’t dwell on high school accomplishments. You want to come off mature and self-aware, and there’s nothing less mature or self-aware than someone in college who can’t stop talking about high school. 
• Don’t offer generic or shallow reasons for your transfer. Improved job prospects, academic rankings, or the intelligence of the student body are not good reasons to apply to a transfer school. They’ll make it seem like you haven’t really done the research, or that you just want to go to a school with a more prestigious name. 

Transfer Essay Writing Tips

In general, the same advice we give for how to write your college essay holds true for writing strong transfer essays! To summarize, a good college essay, whether a transfer essay or not, consists of two key elements: 

• Reflection 

To break it down further, the “story” element of your transfer essay will be the stuff that makes it personal, the stuff that makes it you . Think about it this way: admissions officers at Harvard and Princeton have to read countless application essays. Eventually, all these essays are going to start sounding pretty much the same. 

Even if you’re smart and a great writer, there are only so many ways that you can answer the prompt if you’re being general. Plus, most of the other transfer applicants are themselves smart and great writers too. So, how do you create personal statements that stand out?

Make it personal . In other words, incorporate a story from your life that nobody else could write about for the simple fact that nobody else has lived it. We’re not saying you need to turn this into a creative writing exercise, necessarily. If the prompt is direct and doesn’t leave you much room to elaborate, then you can’t afford to launch into a full literary narrative. 

But you can still include a brief glimpse into your life or describe a particular moment. For example, you might start by briefly describing the moment you realized you wanted to transfer from your current school. What happened? Where were you? What were you thinking in that moment?

Even something as simple as starting the essay with a short anecdote like that will immediately make your transfer essay more memorable to college admissions officers! You can check out our post here for specific examples of college essay openings that you can use to get ideas for your own transfer application essay. 

“Reflection” refers to what you make of your story. If you read our materials on structuring your college essays , you’ll already know how crucial it is to connect the personal details you provide to your values. 

Ultimately, your “story” is there to make your essay personable and memorable. But it’s your “reflection” and the values you’re able to convey that really show admissions committees that you’re a good fit for their school. 

Most importantly, you need to convey how your values both make you a valuable addition to the community and align with the values of your transfer school. 

If you take a look at the transfer statistics we’ve collected for your use here you’ll see just how selective transfer applications can be. It’s why we recommend working with an expert college essay tutor to craft strong transfer essays. Because there are so many different college essay services out there, we’ve done the research to rank the top 14 college essay services for this year– you can check out our post there. 

Of course, if you’re ready to work with us directly, you can reach out any time : our tutors come from Ivy League universities, and many have years-long track records of placing applicants into the most selective schools in the country. 

How Is the Transfer Essay Different from the Regular College Essay?

Much of the advice for the transfer essay is the same, because ultimately this essay is a very similar piece of writing to the standard college application essay, with the same goal (getting you into college). So, when it comes to the nuts and bolts of the process, you can confidently rely on our guides to brainstorm , revise , and end your college essays here. 

You should also especially read about how to write the “Why us?” supplemental essay (and look at our free sample essays that got students into Ivies). You probably remember writing these for your initial applications, but many transfer applications logically require a version of this essay as well!

But, despite these similarities, there are a few things that make the transfer essay unique. 

First, transfer essays should be slightly more direct and to the point than your other college application essays. You’ll notice that you’ll generally have less space for these essays, which means you need to make every word count. You’ll also notice that some of these prompts are more direct, asking you to specifically identify, for example, what aspects of your current university don’t work for you. 

This doesn’t mean you should ditch the personal or storytelling elements of your essays! It just means these elements should be incorporated quickly and efficiently, without as much detail as you might have used in your Common App essay in high school. 

Second, essays for college transfer applications need to focus more on your time in college rather than on what you did in high school. This becomes increasingly true the further into your college career you are: if you’re a college sophomore, then most of your anecdotes should refer to your college experience. 

If you’re still only writing about things you did in high school, you’ll seem immature! Be sure to focus on what you’ve gained, lost, and experienced in your first years of college life. 

Finally, you’ll be expected to have a more concrete sense of what you want out of a college experience. When you were writing in high school, it might have been fine to be a little general, or just to talk about multiple avenues that you might be interested in. 

Transfer applicants, however, will really be expected to concretely articulate their career goals and interests, as well as what specific resources you plan to take advantage of at your new campus community and what resources were missing at your old one. 

These transfer essays are high stakes: for schools like Princeton and Harvard, transfer acceptance rates can be even lower than regular acceptance rates! If you want to make sure you’re writing these essays correctly, get connected with one of our expert college essay coaches here .

Choosing to transfer colleges can be a difficult decision. For many students, it can be the right one–but actually getting into your dream school as a transfer student may be even harder than getting in from high school!

If you’re serious about transferring to a selective university, then you’ll need to put a lot of work into your transfer essays. But you don’t want that hard work going to waste: work with one of our expert college essay tutors to ensure that your essay will impress the admissions committee and boost your chances of acceptance. 

Want to know exactly what your chances are? We’ve put together a resource of the most recent statistics on transfer applications for top schools. Download it for free below to get a sense of what it’ll take to get admitted!

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How to Write a Successful College Transfer Essay & Examples

22 December 2023

last updated

When students want to change their higher education institutions, they need good guidelines for writing a college transfer essay. In this case, the article provides essential insights, including the definition and meaning of a college transfer essay, the seven sections that students should consider, common prompts that they can use to produce their papers, and 20 tips for creating a high-standard transfer paper, including what to do and not to do. Students also get a glimpse of a sample outline and an example for a practical impression of how a college transfer essay should appear. Therefore, reading this guideline is helpful to students who need to convince college admission committees that a transfer request is genuine and why they should grant it.

How to Write an Outstanding College Transfer Essay & Examples

Reading scholarly texts is intellectually refreshing and essential in grasping insights into the mechanics of writing different types of papers . Moreover, students write different types of essays to assess their course content understanding continuously. Therefore, learning to write academic papers is critical to one’s performance in those assessments. This article provides a guideline for writing a successful college transfer essay, covering key insights and crucial details that students and anyone interested in writing should study to create high-standard documents. Some insights include the definition and meaning of a college transfer essay and its main features when to write this document, possible topics, a sample essay outline template, practical examples of this work, and 20 tips for producing a high-standard paper. In turn, critical details include the easy step-by-step process of starting a college transfer essay, emphasizing the technical aspects of creating the piece. As a result, reading the guideline can help all writers to understand the attitude they should adopt to have a high-quality essay.

Definition of a College Transfer Essay and Its Meaning

From a simple definition, a college transfer essay is an academic document that college students write to move from one educational institution to another. Essentially, students communicate their desire to transfer and highlight details that can help a committee to accept the request by following a well-organized essay structure . This structure comprises seven sections, each providing details that allow the audience to understand the student and the reason for requesting a college transfer. The essential information includes the student’s core values, the reason they chose their current college, why they want to transfer to another education institution, a demonstration that they have maximized or optimized their current situation, their dream, how the new place will help them to actualize the goal, and a memorable closure. Therefore, a college transfer essay means that people must convince the audience, mainly a college admission committee, to accept them as new students.

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Unique Structure of a Winning College Transfer Essay

💠 section/paragraph 1: how to write about core values & example.

As stated above, Section 1 of a college transfer essay highlights the student’s core values. For example, core values determine people’s behavior, what they can and cannot accept in their social circle, and what inspires them. When outlining these values, students should focus on making a first impression. Therefore, core values should convince the audience to accept the student’s transfer request. In turn, some core values that can help to make the first impression in such a request include a family; caring; a willingness to serve, learn, grow, fight injustice; and solve problems. Students can communicate effectively by using personal stories to emphasize these values and explain how the current college does not align with some of these values in an essay. Writers should avoid exaggeration and use a hook to keep readers interested in continuing reading.

An Example of a Paragraph for Section 1

I hold dear core values that define my personality and identity, including a desire to do good, dependability, hard work, commitment, integrity, generosity, and moral uprightness. One reason for seeking a transfer to your institution is your anti-plagiarism policy. While my current college has been valuable in helping me to demonstrate most of these values, it could have been more helpful regarding integrity. Academic honesty is the most relevant issue in demonstrating integrity in college. Typically, colleges and professors clarify to students with solid emphasis the penalty of academic dishonesty, such as plagiarism. While my current college does this activity, I do not find the penalties sufficient to dissuade academic dishonesty. Such laxity may expose me to circumstances where I may violate my value system. For example, I have faced a dilemma severally of whether to report my peers who plagiarize their work.

💠 Section/Paragraph 2: The Reason Why I Decided to Choose Your College & Example

Section 2 of a college transfer essay should explain why students chose their current college. Basically, students should understand that the audience is interested in hearing why they want to transfer and about their college. While a negative issue may compel the transfer request, one should communicate the problem without painting the college negatively. Essential details in this section include what made the student choose the college; the current experience, including what one is doing to develop intellectually; how the college has helped to meet a learning objective, such as going on field trips to gain practical experience. When writing this section of an essay, students’ focus should be to demonstrate to the audience that they are using their time in the current college optimally. In turn, one should focus on positive aspects rather than negative ones of the institution in an essay.

An Example of a Paragraph for Section 2

My current college has proven helpful to my quest for intellectual development because of its various programs. However, I chose it primarily because it is in the same city as my home, and I could save on accommodation money. Nonetheless, I have made important leaps in knowledge since I joined. I am in the second year of college education and spend most of my time researching topics in the library. Indeed, my research skills have developed incredibly during my time at the institution. I credit this intellectual development to professors and other instructors who give assignments, including essays and research papers, requiring students to research materials. As such, the college library has been like a second home to me. As I seek to leave, I take these experiences as a ladder for greater intellectual development in my next destination.

💠 Section/Paragraph 3: The Reason Why I Want to Leave the Current College

Section 3 of a college transfer essay should convince the audience why the student seeks to transfer to their institution. Ideally, students should not paint their current college negatively but focus on explaining why they think the college they want to move to is ideal for achieving their goal. Students should explain why they want to leave their current college, such as a lack of critical resources like a science lab, limited opportunities for exposing students to the corporate world, or a new policy like mandatory online learning. When writing this section of an essay, students should convince the audience that the current college can not push them toward their goal and that the one they seek to join is ideal. The most crucial detail in an essay is not to talk badly about the current college.

An Example of a Paragraph in Section 3

One reason for requesting a transfer from my current institution is the limited opportunities for career exposure. For example, it is normal for students to go a whole year without a field trip despite course content insisting on the need to link theory and practice. While researching the college to transfer to, I came across your website and how the institution prioritizes field trips as a pillar of students’ practical learning. As a nursing student, I must get first-hand experience with the dynamics that influence healthcare in the clinical environment, such as the relationship between nurses and patients, including the issues that nurses confront daily in developing or nurturing the relationship. As I investigated your college, I learned that nursing students have at least two field trips each academic year. This orientation is ideal for my dream.

💠 Section/Paragraph 4: Maximizing or Optimizing Time and Achievements

While students may want to explain why they think the college they wish to transfer to is better than their current one, one should also tell the audience how they maximize or optimize their time in the current college. Section 4 of a college transfer essay allows students to tell the audience how productive their time in the current institution is. This message is essential to convince the audience that one is not preoccupied with a desire to leave at the expense of their academic development. Instead, they should show that they are working on their intellectual growth but see a transfer as more effective in accelerating it. Doing so in an essay convinces readers that a transfer is necessary during the learning process. Moreover, students should state their accomplishments in the current college and how they have met instructors’ expectations when writing their essays.

An Example of a Paragraph in Section 4

My time in my current institution is productive and intellectually engaging. Although there are reasons why I want to transfer from the college, I am spending my time to get the best of what I have. For example, I use the college library to gain insights into nursing topics and interact with instructors to seek clarification on complex concepts. Some resources in my current college are still beneficial to my intellectual development and career preparation. A core value that enables me to optimize my time in college is commitment, and I am deeply committed to my intellectual growth, not allowing a desire to transfer derail me from what is essential. While an institution may be supportive, the student’s attitude determines their success.

💠 Section/Paragraph 5: My Study Dream

Section 5 of a college transfer essay focuses on the student’s dream, career aspirations, or what they want to become after college. Ideally, people have different reasons for pursuing a college education. Students should use this section to educate the audience about the end goal of their college education. Therefore, writers should tell readers about their dream and how they intend to achieve it. At this point, authors should state how the transfer request is open to the plans because it allows them to get into a resourceful learning environment. When the audience reads this section, they should answer “Why us?” because the student emphasizes how the new college differs from their current institution. However, one should briefly mention the new college’s positives because the focus of an essay is on their dream.

An Example of a Paragraph in Section 5

My dream to become a registered nurse is the reason for my college transfer request. All my life, I have dreamed of becoming a healthcare professional to enable people to live healthier lives. A college education is a prerequisite for this dream. While my current institution has taught me the fundamentals of a nursing career, it has not immersed me fully into the practical environment. This gap is why I seek to transfer from the college to your institution. While searching for an alternative college, I learned how your institution considers practical education integral to holistic learning. Your college immerses learners into the career environment through field trips and student attachment programs. This orientation is critical and beneficial to my quest to become a registered nurse knowledgeable in theory and practice.

💠 Section/Paragraph 6: How Your College Will Help Me

Section 6 of a college transfer essay is about the competitive advantage of the college a student seeks to transfer to, meaning that writers inform the audience about the aspects of their institution that make it attractive. These aspects may include education programs, student policies, and resource availability. Moreover, writers must emphasize the college’s advantages over their current institution and how they support their career aspirations. In their essays, students should inform the audience about what they need and how their college has helped to meet it. An example of a need may be practical skills, and the resources that a particular college has at the moment may help them to develop themselves, including attachment programs that immerse learners into a realistic environment, such as a workplace. Besides, a college transfer essay must emphasize how the target institution beats the rest as an ideal place to achieve a learning outcome.

An Example of a Paragraph in Section 6

Prioritizing students’ practical knowledge is central to your college’s identity and the primary reason for my college transfer request. I have learned how nursing students get at least two field trips per academic year and how an attachment program allows learners to work in a clinical environment during holidays. These orientations are fundamental to gaining insights into the dynamics in the healthcare environment and their impact on the nurse-patient relationship. Unfortunately, my current college has limited opportunities for such exposure, questioning its commitment to students’ holistic learning. As a nursing college that minds students’ practical skills, your institution stands above the rest as the institution of choice for students aspiring to a nursing career. In this respect, I am confident I have made the right choice to seek a transfer to your institution.

💠 Section/Paragraph 7: Memorable Closure

Section 7 of a college transfer essay summarizes the students’ communication with a college admission committee. As such, writers must make it short, relevant, and impactful. These outcomes are essential in making it memorable to the audience and a reason to grant the transfer request. Various strategies for writing this section include using an academic tone to wrap an essay. This inspiring ending emphasizes one’s personality, ending with a statement beginning with “I have a dream,” commenting on how the new college will be a new or second home or how one will benefit the new family as much as they can. Regardless of the ending of an essay, students should refrain from introducing further information in this section because they must exhaust all they have to say in the preceding paragraphs.

An Example of a Paragraph in Section 7

I firmly believe my college transfer request is timely. The information I have offered is genuine and shows my desire to join your college as my new family. I promise to do my best to contribute to the welfare of this family without losing sight of my core values. As you consider my transfer request, please, consider the resources lacking in my current institution but available in yours and how they are essential to my career aspiration.

Example of a Full College Transfer Essay

Comment: The details in each section of a college transfer essay should help students to produce a persuasive paper as below:

The core values that define my personality and personal identity are a desire to do good, dependability, hard work, commitment, integrity, generosity, and moral uprightness. One reason for this transfer request is your institution’s anti-plagiarism policy. While my current college has been valuable in helping me demonstrate most of my core values, it could have been more helpful regarding integrity. Academic honesty is the most relevant issue in demonstrating integrity in college. Typically, colleges and professors clarify to students with solid emphasis the penalty of academic dishonesty, such as plagiarism. While my current college does this, I do not find the penalties sufficient to dissuade academic dishonesty. Such laxity may expose me to circumstances where I may violate my value system. For example, I have faced a dilemma severally of whether to report my peers who plagiarize their work.

A host of programs in my current college has proven valuable in my quest for intellectual development. However, I chose the institution primarily because it is in the same city as my home, and I could save on accommodation money. Nonetheless, I have made important leaps in knowledge since I joined. I am in the second year of college education and spend most of my time researching topics in the library. Indeed, my research skills have developed incredibly during my time at the institution. I credit this intellectual development to the professors who give assignments, including essays and research papers, requiring students to research materials. As such, the college library has been like a second home to me. As I seek to leave, I take these experiences as a ladder for greater intellectual development in my next home.

One reason for requesting a transfer from my current institution is the limited opportunities for career exposure. For example, it is normal for students to go a whole year without a field trip despite course content insisting on the need to link theory and practice. While researching the college to transfer to, I found your website and information about how the institution prioritizes field trips as a pillar of students’ practical learning. As a nursing student, I must get first-hand experience with the dynamics that influence healthcare in the clinical environment, such as the relationship between nurses and patients and the issues that nurses confront daily in developing or nurturing the relationship. As I investigated your college, I learned that nursing students have at least two field trips each academic year. This orientation is ideal for my career aspiration.

My time in my current institution has been productive and intellectually rewarding. Although there are reasons why I want to transfer from the college, I am spending my time to get the best of what I have. For example, I use the college library to gain insights into nursing topics and interact with instructors to seek clarification on complex concepts. Some resources in my current college are still beneficial to my intellectual development and career preparation. A core value that enables me to optimize my time in college is commitment, and I am deeply committed to my intellectual growth, not allowing a desire to transfer derail me from what is essential. While an institution may be supportive, the student’s attitude determines their success.

My dream to become a registered nurse is the reason for my college transfer request. I have dreamed of becoming a healthcare professional to help people live healthier lives. A college education is a prerequisite for this dream. While my current institution has taught me the fundamentals of a nursing career, it has not immersed me fully into the practical environment. This gap is why I seek to transfer from the college to your institution. While searching for an alternative college, I learned how your institution considers practical education integral to holistic learning. Your college immerses learners into the career environment through field trips and student attachment programs. This orientation is critical and beneficial to my quest to become a registered nurse knowledgeable in theory and practice.

Therefore, the primary reason for my college transfer request is your institution’s tradition of prioritizing students’ practical knowledge. I have learned how field trips and an attachment program allow learners to work in a clinical environment. These orientations are fundamental to gaining insights into the dynamics in the healthcare environment and their impact on the nurse-patient relationship. Unfortunately, my current college has limited opportunities for such exposure, questioning its commitment to students’ holistic learning. As a nursing college that minds students’ practical skills, your institution stands above the rest as the institution of choice for students aspiring to a nursing career. In this respect, I am confident I have made the right choice to seek a transfer to your institution.

Why and Where Do You Need to Write a Creative College Transfer Essay

Students write a college transfer essay to move from the higher learning institution they are currently in to another. As such, various reasons compel students to write this essay, such as an unsatisfactory learning environment, new unfriendly policies, increased fees, or any other reason that might make one want to leave. However, transfers are not automatic, and students must convince the institution they seek to transfer to that their request is valid. In other words, colleges do not encourage students to transfer for the sake of it. Student admission committees demonstrate this attitude by requiring students to explain through their essays why they want to transfer to the institution. Therefore, when writing a college transfer essay, one should approach it with some seriousness because the student admission committee can reject it if it finds the reasons for wanting to transfer are invalid.

Most Common College Transfer Prompts

• Some students believe their college transfer request is complete with a mention of their background, identity, interest, or talent, which they consider meaningful. If this statement describes you, kindly share your story in an essay.
• Obstacles can provide lessons that prove fundamental to later success. Please share your experience of a challenge, failure, or setback, how it affected you, and the lesson(s) you learned.
• Recall when you challenged or questioned a belief or an idea and reflect on it, commenting on what prompted the thinking and the outcome in an essay.
• In an essay format, describe a problem you have solved or would like to solve, stating its significance and the steps you took or would take to find a solution. Consider problems important to you regardless of their orientation or magnitude, such as a research question, ethical dilemma, or intellectual challenge.
• Discuss how a personal accomplishment, event, or awareness triggered a period of personal growth and a deeper understanding of self or others in an essay.
• Describe an idea, concept, or topic that captivates you to the extent of losing track of time. Explain why it has this effect and what you do to learn more about it.
• Choose a topic for an essay. Feel free to consider topics you have written about, topics that respond to a different prompt, or a topic you design from the knowledge you have gained.
• Explore some ideas that make you hungry for intellectual development. State how these ideas can help describe your life perspective.
• Discuss how a career aspiration can propel one’s desire for academic achievement and state some behaviors students demonstrate when pursuing a career goal.
• How do you define a dream, and how is it relevant to one’s education? Describe how your dream underscores your choice of a college in an essay.
• What are motivations? What motivations underscore your desire to join a specific college?
• Discuss life experiences as educational. Describe a personal experience that has taught you important life lessons that underscore your value system in an essay.

The Prompt That Represents Your Strength the Most

Typically, student admission committees ask students to describe certain aspects of their education as a basis for their transfer request. While addressing all the prompts above in a college transfer essay is standard, students may need to focus on one or several themes. The best way to write a perfect college transfer essay focusing on a few prompts is to choose those that represent their strength the most. For example, one may select prompt #7, which asks students to write some essay topics of their choice. The reason for choosing the prompt is that it gives one enough room to generate ideas. Since college essay topics decide the quality of a college transfer essay one can produce, allowing students to determine a specific theme is helpful because they can choose what they are passionate about or knowledgeable about.

Sample Outline Template for Writing a Good College Transfer Essay

I. Introduction

• Starting with a hook .
• A personal statement that highlights one’s core values in an essay.
• Provide reasons for choosing the new college.
• Include reasons for wanting to leave the current college.
• Explain how one has or is optimizing time in the current college.
• Emphasize career aspiration.
• Explain why the new college will make the aspiration come true.

III. Conclusion

• End a college transfer essay with memorable information that impresses the audience enough to grant the transfer request.

Sample College Transfer Essay

I am ambitious because I always make the best of every opportunity and seek personal development. My personality’s core values include altruism, ambition, hard work, generosity, commitment, empathy, and dependability. Indeed, these values have been fundamental in shaping my experiences with people and institutions. I write to request a college transfer to the University of Pennsylvania because Amherst College no longer supports my career aspiration.

Undoubtedly, Amherst College is a wonderful place because it promotes students’ social and intellectual development. I chose the college because I have heard stories about it being the home of liberal arts. Coming from a home with a father who practices as a family therapist and a mother who spends most of her working time attending to patients in a psychiatric institution, I have always dreamed of being a psychologist. Amherst College has been instrumental in my quest to attain this career aspiration.

However, I want to transfer from Amherst because I wish for a place committed to cutting-edge research and innovation. For the time I have been at Amherst, I have seen students travel to distant colleges to have a deeper insight into the research world. While this tradition has benefits, it inconveniences students’ intellectual development. Moreover, how a college invests in a course or program reflects its commitment to the academic and intellectual welfare of the concerned students. From this perspective, Amherst College has work to do.

While I seek to transfer to Penn, I do not take my time at Amherst for granted. I continue to focus on my academic work, utilizing the available resources, including professors and the physical and online libraries, to the maximum. The core values of ambition, hard work, and commitment propel me to use every minute at Amherst to develop intellectually and move closer to my dream.

As stated, becoming a psychologist is my life-long aspiration. I dream of helping people with mental health problems because evidence shows psychiatric disorders are increasingly becoming common. Indeed, the pressures of life that continue to mount amid compounding problems trigger mental health issues, including anger, depression, stress, and suicidal ideation. Psychologists are in demand because they can prevent these experiences and conditions from resulting in severe outcomes like death.

While searching for an alternative college, I learned about Penn’s commitment to cutting-edge research and innovation, which enrich its brand in the United States and beyond. Psychology is an evolving discipline; only research can help equip students and practicing psychologists with evidence-based knowledge to address contemporary mental health issues. Moreover, innovation empowers psychologists to know how to use limited resources to achieve optimal results. Penn’s research and innovation orientation can propel me to a career where I become knowledgeable in using available resources to help the greatest number of people with mental health problems.

In conclusion, I write this request for a college transfer because I believe that while Amherst is an incredible institution that has taught me the fundamentals of psychology, it lacks what I need to achieve my dream. Penn’s commitment to cutting-edge research and innovation is a ladder I intend to climb to become a psychologist who is responsive to the mental health issues of the time .

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4 Easy Steps for Writing an Amazing College Transfer Essay

Writing a college transfer essay is a technical process that demands students’ utmost focus and commitment to academic writing conventions. The technicality of producing this kind of document underscores the details students should consider to create a high-standard essay. These details include preparation, stage setup, writing an essay, and wrap-up.

Step 1: Preparation

Preparation is the first step of writing a college transfer essay. Since the document must address why a student wants to transfer from one college to another, writers must consider such reasons and how to defend them. In other words, one must brainstorm to generate essay ideas about their current college and the institution they seek to join.

Step 2: Stage Setup

Setting up the stage is the second step of creating a college transfer paper. Students must understand that ideas are not enough, and they must know how to organize them to create a coherent composition. As such, this step involves adopting an attitude and approach that leads to a persuasive high-standard essay. One approach to consider is a seven-section essay outline that helps people to communicate effectively their reason for requesting a college transfer.

Step 3: Writing an Essay

Writing a first draft of a college transfer essay is the third step. In this case, students should focus on producing an initial draft to demonstrate a coherent flow of ideas and thoughts. Typically, this document has numerous mistakes because the writer’s focus is to have a complete essay communicating their reason for wanting a college transfer.

Step 4: Wrap-Up

In this last step of writing a college transfer essay, students should perfect their initial drafts into final essays. As such, the priority is eliminating all flaws, including grammar errors and inconsistent ideas and statements. Revising and editing an essay helps students to produce a perfect document.

20 Tips for Writing a College Transfer Essay

Considering the preceding sections, a college transfer essay is a complex document that requires writers to demonstrate an in-depth understanding of essential details, like a seven-section structure and common prompts. The tips for demonstrating such understanding include staying focused on the topic while being creative in content, knowing why one is writing the essay, focusing on an aspect of the current college that does not support one’s career dream, focusing on making oneself marketable, aiming to be the best among many candidates, demonstrating a logical progression of ideas and thoughts throughout the text, not bad-mouthing the current college, emphasizing the competitive advantage of the new college, convincing the audience that the reason for wanting to transfer is genuine, and concluding a paper with a memorable ending that leaves a lasting impression or do not impact on readers.

10 things to do when writing a college transfer essay include:

• writing a personal statement that underscores one’s core values in an essay,
• describing the strengths of the new college,
• stating the weaknesses of the current college,
• emphasizing the competitive edge of the new college,
• explaining one’s career aspiration,
• being specific in why one wants to transfer from their present to the new college,
• following a seven-section essay structure,
• not talking negatively about the current college,
• not exaggerating issues,
• ending a college transfer essay in a way that makes a lasting impression on the audience.

10 things not to do include:

• failing to emphasize one’s value system in an essay,
• attacking one’s current college,
• exaggerating the positives of the new college,
• being informal in writing,
• assuming the audience knows why one wants to transfer,
• overthinking about impressing the audience at the expense of being genuine in expressing one’s desire to transfer,
• thinking a college transfer essay is not academic because it is not related to a course,
• being simplistic in communication without aiming to impress,
• assuming the audience will have only one application to consider,
• writing an essay in a hurry and making numerous grammatical mistakes.

Summing Up on How to Write a Perfect College Transfer Essay

• Find the best way to express yourself without exaggerations in an essay.
• Adoptive a narrative approach to communicating details about the current college, such as personal experiences.
• Integrating humor but remaining formal in communication.
• Using one paragraph to communicate a single idea or aspect of the transfer request, such as the strengths or weaknesses of the current college.
• Asking for help from the professor(s).
• Brainstorming ideas to make a college transfer essay impressive.
• Assuming the audience comprises scholars to avoid careless mistakes, like grammar errors.
• Focusing on an aspect of the current college that is unsupportive of one’s career dream in an essay.
• Emphasizing aspects of the new college that support one’s career aspiration.
• Proofreading a college transfer essay several times.

To Learn More, Read Relevant Articles

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Articles & Advice > Transfer Students > Articles

What You Need to Know About Writing a Good College Transfer Essay

Need inspiration for writing your transfer admission essay? Tell your story and showcase your best self with these tips, plus an example essay!

by CollegeXpress

Last Updated: Sep 25, 2023

Originally Posted: Jun 20, 2011

Your first college wasn’t a mistake—it was just your first step to your final academic home. And Your transfer application essays won’t differ much from when you wrote your college applications for first-year admission. But there are a few tips and tricks to help you write your best essay to find your dream institution the second time around.

What makes a good transfer essay?

You need to grab transfer admission counselors' attention right away. Try starting with a bold statement or some interesting dialogue to draw your readers in. Remember: admission staff read hundreds and sometimes thousands of essays, so yours needs to stand out even if you’re a transfer student and your pool of competition is smaller. Give transfer counselors a glimpse at what you are unique with just the right amount of detail. Often schools will give you a 500-word limit, so you need to learn to be succinct and tell the most important story you can. Also be sure to end your application essay with a strong statement that ties into earlier themes, bringing the essay full circle to a satisfying conclusion.

The story of your transfer experience

Often transfer students are asked to discuss what led them to change schools. You should address your reasons for transferring straightforwardly, without being defensive or negative. You should address why you want to transfer into your college(s) of interest specifically. Talk about your goals and aspirations, what your current college wasn’t meeting, and why you think the college you’re applying to could be the right place to provide that support you’re lacking.

Error-free essays

A good essay is also made of everything that’s not there: It's free of misspellings, an appropriate length, and there are no run-on sentences. And you can bet it was submitted well before the deadline! Meeting deadlines is crucial in the college application process, whether it’s the first time around or as a transfer. Even if your intended college has a rolling admission policy for transfer students, the earlier you submit your materials, the better. 

Related: How to Write a Transfer Essay That Will Impress Admission Officers

Transfer example essay

It’s easy to read about essay-writing tips, but that doesn’t necessarily make them easy to implement. The best way to learn is to see all these tips in action with a real transfer admission essay example that got a student admitted to his school of interest. Check it out below!

Dad Says…

“But Dad, I can do both!” I pleaded, doing my best not to raise my voice. He’d always been sure to remind me of the importance of not making a scene.

“I’m sorry, bud. We just signed you up for baseball. The answer is no. No.”

“Dad, you don’t understand. I need to take painting lessons.” I tried to look as defeated as possible, hoping his heart would break just enough for him to agree.

“Yeah, well you said that about skiing and guitar too. Baseball is your top priority right now, and it’s going to stay that way. Besides, sports teach you how to work in a team. Painting teaches you...how to mix colors.” He turned back to the television and cranked up the volume, and I knew I’d lost this one. I retreated to the kitchen table to finish the jigsaw puzzle I’d abandoned moments before.

I couldn’t really argue with my dad. As a kid, I frequently bounced from activity to activity, often hurrying from one to the next. It wasn’t that I got bored with what I was doing—I just couldn’t wait to try something new. Everything was interesting and everything was fun.

In high school, I became involved in as many extracurricular activities as I could, getting elected to student council and playing varsity baseball, joining groups like the school improvement team, and yes, even the art club. I was intrigued by nearly every class I took, eager to dissect things in physiology or pick apart the ideas of Faulkner in American literature. I’ve wanted to be everything from an engineer to a chef to a professional baseball player. A friend once described me as a guidance counselor’s worst nightmare.

Years of searching, experimenting, and learning have brought me here.

When my classmates crossed the stage at graduation, it felt like nearly everyone knew which direction they were headed. Friends were moving across the country to pursue their dreams, and I couldn’t even figure mine out. I had a strong academic record and plenty of experiences to shape my application, but watching my friends leave for four-year schools with such determination reminded me of how lost I actually was. It was time to figure things out for myself.

Enrolling at a two-year community college gave me the opportunity to sift through different areas of study and find what worked for me. General education courses and a varied curriculum offered a wide lens through which I could see what different fields had to offer and find a true fit. It wasn’t easy. I took classes ranging from applied sciences to ceramics, and—of course—I liked almost everything I tried! Then I took an anatomy and physiology course during the spring of my first year at ABC Community College, and it hit me. I realized that the medical field would allow me to help people while constantly learning and exploring different facets of the work.

After two years of studying, researching, and homework, I received an associate degree in pre-physical therapy, and I believe XYZ University is the next stop on my journey to achieve my dream.

It may have taken me longer to get here, and my path probably had a few more twists and turns in it than most, but every activity I begged my dad to let me do and every extracurricular club I joined complemented my coursework and shaped who I am. XYZ University’s physical therapy program will lead me to the necessary bachelor’s and doctoral degrees I need to succeed in a profession I know will leave me fulfilled—and hold my interest—throughout my professional life.

Related: How to Make Transferring Colleges as Seamless as Possible

Don’t stress too much about your transfer admission essay! It’s not that different from the first time around, and transfer students are often looked at separately from first-year students, as they usually take enrollment spots in higher grades. Show them who you are and why it’s important to you to find your new academic home, and you’re sure to gain admission to a great new school.

If you’re worried about overcoming the struggles of going to a new college, check out our article on  4 Potential Obstacles for Transfer Students and How to Conquer Them .

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12 Effective “Why This College?” Essay Examples

What’s covered.

• Essay 1: UPenn Nursing
• Essay 2: UPenn
• Essay 3: UW Madison
• Essay 4: Northwestern
• Essay 5: NYU
• Essay 6: NYU
• Essay 7: Boston University
• Essay 8: Boston University
• Essay 9: Tufts
• Essay 10: Tufts
• Essay 11: Georgia Tech
• Essay 12: Georgia Tech

Where to Get Your Essays Edited

The “ Why This College?” essay is one of the most common supplemental prompts. These school-specific essays help colleges understand if you’re a good fit for them, and if they’re a good fit for you.

In this post, we’ll share 12 “Why This College?” essay examples from real students and explain what they did well, and what could be improved. Read these examples to understand how to write a strong supplemental essay that improves your chances of acceptance.

Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isn’t genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.

Essay Example #1: UPenn Nursing

Prompt: How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying (650 words).

Sister Simone Roach, a theorist of nursing ethics, said, “caring is the human mode of being.” I have long been inspired by Sister Roach’s Five C’s of Caring: commitment, conscience, competence, compassion, and confidence. Penn both embraces and fosters these values through a rigorous, interdisciplinary curriculum and unmatched access to service and volunteer opportunities.

COMMITMENT. Reading through the activities that Penn Quakers devote their time to (in addition to academics!) felt like drinking from a firehose in the best possible way. As a prospective nursing student with interests outside of my major, I value this level of flexibility. I plan to leverage Penn’s liberal arts curriculum to gain an in-depth understanding of the challenges LGBT people face, especially regarding healthcare access. Through courses like “Interactional Processes with LGBT Individuals” and volunteering at the Mazzoni Center for outreach, I hope to learn how to better support the Penn LGBT community as well as my family and friends, including my cousin, who came out as trans last year.

CONSCIENCE. As one of the first people in my family to attend a four-year university, I wanted a school that promoted a sense of moral responsibility among its students. At Penn, professors challenge their students to question and recreate their own set of morals by sparking thought- provoking, open-minded discussions. I can imagine myself advocating for universal healthcare in courses such as “Health Care Reform & Future of American Health System” and debating its merits with my peers. Studying in an environment where students confidently voice their opinions – conservative or liberal – will push me to question and strengthen my value system.

COMPETENCE. Two aspects that drew my attention to Penn’s BSN program were its high-quality research opportunities and hands-on nursing projects. Through its Office of Nursing Research, Penn connects students to faculty members who share similar research interests. As I volunteered at a nursing home in high school, I hope to work with Dr. Carthon to improve the quality of care for senior citizens. Seniors, especially minorities, face serious barriers to healthcare that I want to resolve. Additionally, Penn’s unique use of simulations to bridge the gap between classroom learning and real-world application impressed me. Using computerized manikins that mimic human responses, classes in Penn’s nursing program allow students to apply their emergency medical skills in a mass casualty simulation and monitor their actions afterward through a video system. Participating in this activity will help me identify my strengths and areas for improvement regarding crisis management and medical care in a controlled yet realistic setting. Research opportunities and simulations will develop my skills even before I interact with patients.

COMPASSION. I value giving back through community service, and I have a particular interest in Penn’s Community Champions and Nursing Students For Sexual & Reproductive Health (NSRH). As a four-year volunteer health educator, I hope to continue this work as a Community Champions member. I am excited to collaborate with medical students to teach fourth and fifth graders in the city about cardiology or lead a chair dance class for the elders at the LIFE Center. Furthermore, as a feminist who firmly believes in women’s abortion rights, I’d like to join NSRH in order to advocate for women’s health on campus. At Penn, I can work with like-minded people to make a meaningful difference.

CONFIDENCE. All of the Quakers that I have met possess one defining trait: confidence. Each student summarized their experiences at Penn as challenging but fulfilling. Although I expect my coursework to push me, from my conversations with current Quakers I know it will help me to be far more effective in my career.

The Five C’s of Caring are important heuristics for nursing, but they also provide insight into how I want to approach my time in college. I am eager to engage with these principles both as a nurse and as a Penn Quaker, and I can’t wait to start.

What the Essay Did Well

This essay has many positive aspects, but the most impressive one is the structure. Utilizing the Five C’s of Caring to discuss Penn’s offerings was a genius way of tying in this student’s passion for nursing while also making their essay exciting and easy to read. Beginning each paragraph with the respective adjective helped focus the paragraph and allowed the student to demonstrate how they exemplify each quality without explicitly stating it. The student wasn’t afraid to think outside the box and add creativity to their essay structure, which really paid off.

Another positive is how specific and specialized the Penn resources and opportunities the student mentions are. This essay did not fall into the trap of name-dropping professors or programs. In every paragraph, there was a connection to something the student wants to do at Penn to further themselves in the respective characteristic they were describing.

Not only did this student mention a resource at Penn—whether it was a professor, a class, or a club—in every paragraph, but they elaborated on what that resource was and how it would help them achieve their goal of becoming a nurse. The what and how is what sets this essay apart from other supplements that just name-drop resources for the sake of it. The amount of detail this essay went into about some of these resources makes it clear to the admissions officers reading the essay that this student has seriously looked into Penn and has a strong desire to come to campus and use these resources.

What Could Be Improved

One thing this essay could do to make it stronger is improve the first paragraph. The student does a good job of setting up Sister Roach and the Five C’s, but they don’t mention anything about their desire to study or pursue nursing. The first paragraph mentions both Sister Roach and Penn, but left out the student. This could be fixed by simply adding something along the lines of “I can’t wait to embody these values as a nursing student at Penn” to the paragraph.

Essay Example #2: UPenn

Prompt: Considering the specific undergraduate school you have selected, how will you explore your academic and intellectual interests at the University of Pennsylvania?  For students applying to the coordinated dual-degree and specialized programs, please answer these questions in regard to your single-degree school choice; your interest in the coordinated dual-degree or specialized program may be addressed through the program-specific essay. (300-450 words)

I always loved watching the worms when it rained. I used to put my little raincoat on, sit on the doorsteps, and watch them move toward the puddles. My younger brother, forever intent on destroying the world around him, would try to stomp on the worms, and I would run after him screaming. In my imagination, the brain looked like a pile of squiggly worms. However, my neuroscience curiosity has since grown beyond a worm’s habits.

For example, my mother thought that I was insane when I wanted to watch American Murder: The Family Next Door . To her immense relief, I was interested in the psychology of the criminal rather than the crime itself. Although neuroscience is my primary interest, I also hope to learn more about the intersection between law and medicine at the UPenn College of Arts and Sciences. I’ve been able to explore this topic through various projects at school such as presentations on juvenile crime and the death penalty.

At the University of Pennsylvania, I look forward to taking classes like Forensic Neuroscience (BIBB 050) as well as Neuroscience and Society (PSYC 247) both of which directly combine my two interests. Hopefully, the Take Your Professor to Dinner program resumes as I would make sure to talk to Dr. Daniel Langleben about his research on forensic functional brain imaging over a meal of Philly cheesesteaks.

I also hope to participate in the Race, Science, and Society Program where I can discover how race biases and neuroscience go hand-in-hand and contribute to the fight against racism. The Beyond Arrests: Re-Thinking Systematic-Oppression Group immediately caught my attention while looking at Penn’s opportunities to engage in relevant dialogue. My fascination with the criminal system began with reading Fyodor Dostoevsky’s Crime and Punishment , and Penn will both fuel that curiosity as well as introduce new questions about the world of justice reform.

As an eight-year Latin scholar and a five-time reader of the Percy Jackson franchise, I would like to take classes in the Penn Classical Studies department where I can learn more about the impact of ancient cultures on society today. Classes such as Greek and Roman Medicine (CLST 271) would intersect my interests in medicine and classical civilizations.

Although I do harbor a deep love for Philly cheesesteaks and enjoyment of running in strange places like the Woodlands Cemetery, the range of programs to support my diverse interests and unmatched opportunities to put learning into action make me confident that the University of Pennsylvania is the best university for me to succeed.

The real strength in the essay lies in the sheer number of details this student is able to include in a short space, without sacrificing style and flow. The first two paragraphs really have nothing to do with Penn, but the inclusion of them makes this response feel like an essay, rather than a list of offerings at Penn. Striking the balance is important, and the anecdote at the beginning ultimately humanizes the writer.

From the three unique courses to the specific professor and his research to the race and criminal justice programs, this student has clearly done their homework on Penn! The key to this essay’s success isn’t just mentioning the offerings at Penn that excite the student, but the context that explains how each opportunity fits into the student’s academic interests.

Adding book titles like Crime and Punishment and Percy Jackson to support their passion for the criminal justice system and classics are extra details that help us learn more about how this student pursues their passions outside of the classroom. Finding little ways to humanize yourself throughout the essay can take it from good to great.

One area of improvement for this essay is the structure. It follows a very traditional “ Why This College? ” framework—start with an anecdote, then discuss classes, and then extracurriculars and programs—that gets old quickly for admissions officers.

A great way to add some spice to the format would be to use a sample schedule for the day. This essay mentions three different classes, two different groups, and a Take Your Professor to Dinner opportunity. Together, that’s the recipe for a full day at UPenn!

There are a few ways to play around with an essay that follows a typical day-in-the-life. Maybe each paragraph starts with a time and explains what they do during that hour. Maybe they narrate walking through campus on their way from one class to the next and what they just learned. However they choose to go about it, adding in a playful spin to the traditional essay structure is one of the best ways to instantly set an essay apart from the crowd. 

Essay Example #3: UW Madison

Prompt: Tell us why you decided to apply to the University of Wisconsin-Madison. In addition, please include why you are interested in studying the major(s) you have selected. If you selected undecided, please describe your areas of possible academic interest. (650 words)

Essay – # Day 117

7:30 am… As I open my eyes, I look at the pinboard in front of my bed. Written in red block letters are two of the many goals of my life: “Make life better and more independent for the Visually impaired; Inspire kids to explore the field of STEM, making them the future problem solvers.“

Keeping these goals afresh in mind, I freshen up and prepare for the first class of the day, ​ECE 533 Image Processing. As the professor explains the Applications of Image Processing in Computer Vision, a light bulb sparks in my mind. I can modify the head contraption of PERIPHIS to identify objects in peripheral vision and alert the wearer via an earpiece using Text to Speech (TTS). 

After the class, I see Professor Mohit Gupta at the WISION Lab, where he shares his insights from the Block World Cameras system, which helps to geometrize 3D Man-made environments. We brainstorm ways we can implement this system on PERIPHIS.

Deep in the discussion and intrigued by my curiosity, he asked me where my interest in this niche field sparked during high school, and then I recount the incident from 9th grade: 

“In Hindi – Agar aaj mere paas paise hote to ye din na dekhna padta” (If I had money, I would not have had to see this day.) 

These were the words of Aadiya, a glaucoma patient, who couldn’t help but cry in despair as she injured herself in an accident just because she couldn’t sense the incoming traffic. During my visit to “Baroda Association for Blind (BAB)” for a survey, I saw and experienced firsthand how hard and inaccessible it is for an underprivileged visually impaired to locomote without anyone’s assistance. 

What happened next was my first adventure into the world of Computer Science and Engineering. I dedicated the next four years to find an affordable solution to a pressing problem. It was called PERIPHIS, a smart wearable that helps alert the visually impaired wearer of impending danger while locomoting.

When I finally presented this device to Aadiya, the smile on her face made me realize how big an impact technology can make in one’s life.

11:00 am… As I head to the Engineering Hall to complete my assignments of COMP SCI 570

Introduction to Human-Computer Interaction, I crossways with my roommate from the Chadbourne Residential College, who is also interested in researching applications of Computer Vision in real life. We fix a time to chat later. 

1:20pm… After a quick bite, I head to Human-Computer Interaction Laboratory. I expand my knowledge on different applications of Computer Science to make human life better than I found. I get fascinated when I see a few students building a child-friendly humanoid robot to teach kids the principles of Coding and AI. I hop in and share insights from my experience of being the President at AiGoLearning and kindling interest in STEM for young children. I explain how crucial the UI is when it comes to technology for the young.

5:00pm… To blow off some steam and socialize, I meet up with my fellow countrymen and artists at the Indian Graduate Students’ Association. We discuss and plan the upcoming Diwali Night Music at Shannon Hall. I feel proud to share my national identity while bringing out my musical self by contributing as a Tabla player at the student organization. 

As I close my day, I reflect and think of the most unique resource at UW. It is not the labs, research facilities, classes, but the people, including the professors and students, all aligned to a single goal: “Solving problems to make society a better place.”

10:00pm… I find my way back to my dorm room and write with red block letters on my pinboard: “Meet with at least 1 Badger every day and gain new insight from them.”

This essay is a stellar example. The day in the life formatting is a common way to spice up your “Why This College?” essay, but the way this writer executes it is nearly flawless.

Opening with the vision board makes the student’s college goals clear from the very start, and this was cleverly done since vision boards are naturally one of the first things you see when you wake up.

The student then takes us to specific courses and labs and shares their thoughts on how they could improve their invention, PERIPHIS. The author seamlessly includes background information on PERIPHIS by including this hypothetical conversation with a professor who speaks their native language.

As we go through the day, we can see that this student will not only be involved academically, but also socially. We learn how important their culture is to them and how they plan to share it with the campus community.

This essay does everything a “Why This College?” essay should: it shares the student’s goals and motivations behind them, how the university can support those goals, and how the student will engage with the campus beyond academics.

There’s not much this essay could improve, besides a few formatting and wording issues. The first line of this essay—“ Essay – # Day 117”—is a great attention-grabber, but the placement of the # symbol is confusing and perhaps should’ve been in front of the number.

There are also a couple spots where wording is a bit awkward, such as these lines:

I crossways with my roommate from the Chadbourne Residential College, who is also interested in researching applications of Computer Vision in real life. We fix a time to chat later. 

It should instead say something like “I run into my roommate” and “We schedule a time”. This is likely due to English not being the student’s native language, but could’ve easily been caught by proofreading from a native speaker.

Essay Example #4: Northwestern

Prompt: While other parts of your application give us a sense of who you are, we are also excited to hear more about how you see yourself engaging with the larger Northwestern community.

In 300 words or less, help us understand how you might engage specific resources, opportunities, and/or communities here. We are curious about what these specifics are, as well as how they may enrich your time at Northwestern and beyond.

For as long as I can remember, I have seen my parents, both farmers, struggling to produce food because of the challenges presented by the environment. Joining Northwestern’s community, and majoring in Environmental Engineering, will allow me to understand what are the reasons behind climate change and learn how to stop them and/or prevent them from happening. 

Having witnessed how plant diseases affect crops, I would like to collaborate in the PLANT-Dx project and in its widespread application. I strongly believe that it will be able to help farmers to improve the quality and quantity of their production, and reduce famine around the world. At some point in my education, I want to take advantage of the study-abroad programs Northwestern has to offer and learn about farming practices in a different part of the world. In addition, I want to conduct research on sustainable alternative farming methods that adapt to the new environmental conditions and that can be practiced in countries with fewer resources.

Apart from having access to outstanding professors, rigorous academics, and cutting-edge research resources, I will be able to be part of a close-knit community genuinely curious about others’ activities, truly passionate about what they do, and not afraid to step out of their comfort zone to make of this world a better place. Being part of Engineers for a Sustainable World at Northwestern will allow me to get to know people that share one of my passions in addition to learning and teaching how to apply sustainable practices in daily life.  

I am already looking forward to marching through the Weber Arch.

This essay is extremely cohesive, as it focuses on the student’s agricultural background and desire to study environmental engineering. The student mentions a couple resources specific to Northwestern, such as the PLANT-Dx project and Engineers for a Sustainable World.

Because of the background information the student provided, their motivations for participating in these opportunities is also clear. We can see that Northwestern would be a school that would help them achieve their goals.

There are two main aspects of the essay that could be improved: the writing and its specificity.

To begin with, the intro paragraph is a bit clunky and vague.  The student should have specified the challenges the environment has presented to their parents’ farming with detailed imagery about droughts or torrential rain. The final sentence about climate change is also much too broad, and the student should’ve stated a goal in a smaller niche of environmentalism.

For example, here’s what a rewritten strong intro paragraph might look like:

The drought this year was bad, and the once-flourishing tomato crops on my family’s farm were afflicted with Southern Blight. As my family and our community struggled to put food on the table for the third year in a year, I resolved to major in Environmental Engineering at Northwestern to learn how to preserve our agriculture in the face of climate change.

Another writing error is the typo in the final paragraph, where they write “to make of this world a better place”. It’s important to proofread your essay and have others help you proofread as well!

Finally, while the essay mentions a couple specific Northwestern resources, the other resources they mention are too vague.  The student could’ve improved by mentioning a specific study abroad program and a current research project on sustainable alternative farming methods. Most colleges let you study abroad and conduct research, so you need to explain why Northwestern is the best place for your goals.

Essay Example #5: NYU

Prompt: We would like to know more about your interest in NYU. What motivated you to apply to NYU? Why have you applied or expressed interest in a particular campus, school, college, program, and or area of study? If you have applied to more than one, please also tell us why you are interested in these additional areas of study or campuses. We want to understand – Why NYU? (400 words)

“A futuristic way of looking at academics,” the student panelist said during a New York University virtual information session. I reflected on a conversation I had with my grandma; she couldn’t understand how her vegetarian granddaughter could build a career in the food industry. However much I tried convincing her that vegetarianism was the future, as it offers substantial benefits to the environment and can offer health benefits to a growing population with the same environmental resources, she insisted that tofu would never provide the same satiation as meat. She was raised in a community where meat consumption was embedded in the culture, and its production is a large part of the country’s economy. In contrast, I had the privilege of living a few steps from San Francisco, with many restaurants and grocery stores dedicated to plant-based meat alternatives. Trying innovative recipes and products eventually allowed me to develop my own recipes. Upon my move to Nicaragua, where my grandmother is from, I found my food options to be limited, expensive and hard to find. So I developed my own small-scale solutions that did not break the bank and satiated grandma.

An institution that implements forward-thinking is what I need to reach my goals of changing the future of plant-based diets and people’s views on vegetarianism. NYU’s Nutrition and Food Studies program offers multiple disciplines of food studies that I will apply to my aspirations as a vegetarian. I plan to study under Adjunct Faculty Kayleen St. John, whose success in the plant-based industry and her teaching of the ‘Foundations of Plant-Based Nutrition’ in The Vegetarian Times excites me. The variety of classes like Introduction to Food History, Food Photography, and Food Systems: Food & Agriculture will give me an overview of what is available in the food industry to be prepared for all fields. Not to be cliche, but NYU’s proximity to the city is essential for the rapidly changing vegetarian industry. The multiculturalism available in NYC and NYU will allow me to understand the food system and diets of various cultures, religions, and areas. I can explore the extremes of the food industry, from fancy restaurants to public school cafeterias. These juxtapositions, much like the one I experienced after my move to Nicaragua, will allow me to broaden my reach and demonstrate that the vegetarian diet is not something reserved for select groups but a diet attainable to all. 

A core strength of this essay is the fact it takes its time to provide the reader with ample background on why this student is interested in nutrition and food studies and how they have grappled with difficult questions and surrounding this topic in the past. It’s okay to not mention anything about NYU for a whole paragraph if you are using that space to bring depth to your interests and tell the reader the crucial backstory behind pursuing your intended degree.

Another positive aspect is the inclusion of New York City for a purposeful reason. NYU admissions officers read thousands of essays that just talk about living in NYC for the sake of NYC—this is not what they want to hear. In contrast, this essay focuses on the vast and lively food scene in New York that the student considers to be an invaluable asset to her NYU education. This is a time where including New York actually plays to the appeal of NYU, rather than making it seem like the student is simply applying for the city.

Finally, this student clearly demonstrates that they are someone who wants to change the world for the better, but through their personal niche. NYU is looking for people who express this desire to be a changemaker, but oftentimes sweeping statements like “I want to change the world” come across as vague and disingenuous. The essay does mention changing diets and looking to the future, but it is focused within the student’s specific area of interest, making the claim to change the world more determined and authentic.

This essay could be made stronger if there was a bit more personal reflection included. The first paragraph provides a lot of details on the student’s vegetarianism and how it conflicts with her grandmother and her heritage. What it doesn’t include very much of is how the student thinks and feels about her diet being at odds with that of her family. 

Does this student feel they are betraying their heritage by being vegetarian? What emotions do they feel when people criticize vegetarianism? Why did they go vegetarian in the first place? Probing questions like these that get to the emotional core behind the story in the first paragraph would really help to build out this student’s backstory. We want to understand what their emotional responses and reasoning processes look like, so finding ways to include those into an already expositive paragraph would further bolster this essay.

Essay Example #6: NYU

My mother never takes off her Cartier necklace that my father gave her 10 years ago on their anniversary. As a child, I didn’t fully understand this attachment. However, on my 15th birthday, my aunt gifted me a ring, which was uniquely designed and made up of three rings linked together. Wearing it every day and making sure I would never lose it, I didn’t treat it like my easily replaceable childhood necklaces; it was my piece of luxury. This sparked my deep curiosity for the luxury world. The niche strives to provide the finest and most memorable experiences, as equally as my Japanese attention to detail and my French appreciation towards aesthetic beauty. In a constantly shifting environment, I learned that luxury chases timeless excellence.

NYU Stern’s BS in business and a co-concentration in management and marketing will fully immerse me in the business side of luxury fashion that I aim to pursue a future career in. The luxury marketing track, offered only by NYU, will enable me to assemble the most suited classes to reflect my interests. Specifically, NYU Stern’s exciting electives such as The Dynamics of the Fashion Industry seminar and Brand Strategy & Planning will encourage me to develop the skills that I was introduced to and grew keen on when running a virtual sustainable fashion auction.

As someone who has moved around from Paris to Tokyo, to Chicago and now Athens, I thrive in meeting and collaborating with others from diverse backgrounds. The school’s strong global outlook, demonstrated through Stern’s International Business Exchange Program, further sets NYU apart for me, as it is crucial to building essential soft skills. This opportunity allows me to experience new cultural approaches to luxury business which I can bring back with me to New York, and therefore push me to become a well-rounded business student. Similarly, I am excited to take part in the array of student clubs offered, such as the Luxury and Retail Association (LARA), which I learned about after connecting with and talking to current students. Seeing past talks from employers of companies like Conde Nast, I am eager to learn outside of the classroom from future speakers. 

Finding myself in new situations constantly, I always seek new challenges and explorations – to me, it is clear that NYU Stern will push me to create the finest and most unique learning experiences of timeless excellence.

This essay has an amazing introduction paragraph. It doesn’t mention anything about NYU or what this student is planning on studying, which is what makes it so intriguing. The reader doesn’t know where this student is headed after making such a seemingly unrelated statement about jewelry, but we want to find out. 

Not only does this essay immediately capture the reader’s attention, it maintains a succinct and direct tone that helps the reader effortlessly flow from one paragraph to the next. The student chose to include three opportunities at NYU that excite them and fully elaborate on them. This serves as an excellent example of more is less. 

We aren’t bombarded with a laundry list of classes, professors, and clubs the student wants to take. Instead, the student took a focused approach and described why they were excited by each offering they highlighted. Going deeper into a smaller number of opportunities at the college still shows this student did their research, but it allows for their backstory and goals to be discussed in far greater detail.

While this student does a good job of elaborating, they also mention a few key aspects of their personality as throw-away lines, when it would have been great to elaborate further on them. For example, they mention running a virtual sustainable fashion auction (cool!), but don’t provide us with any details on what that actually entails, how they got involved with it, what they enjoyed about it, etc. They also mention moving around a lot in the context of developing a diverse perspective, but they don’t include any emotional insight into what that was like.

Although there are only 400 words available, and you don’t want to spend too much time discussing the past, it would be nice to see just a sentence or two that delves into the details of this student’s background. The fashion auction and moving around clearly had an impact on the student, so we want to know what that was. If they are choosing to include these details, they must be important in the student’s decision to pursue business at NYU, so they shouldn’t be afraid to divulge the emotional significance to the reader.

Essay Example #7: Boston University

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission.

Boston University’s College of Arts and Sciences (CAS) attracts me because of its support of interdisciplinary study among its wide array of majors. In fact, the CAS now offers a course that combines biology, chemistry, and neuroscience. As I hope to conduct medical research into brain disorders, I plan to pursue all three areas of study. These cross-disciplinary connections at BU will prepare me to do so.

CAS’s undergraduate research program would allow me to work with a mentor, such as Dr. Alice Cronin-Golomb or Dr. Robert M.G. Reinhart related to their research on neurological disorders. With them, I can advance the work I have already completed related to Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID). In a summer class at our local university, my partner and I extracted data from fMRI and PET studies and inputted them into a coding program. We then created an indicator map, which we imported into another software program, AFNI, to display significant activity in the brain regions affected by DID. Seeing the representation of our data thrilled me because I knew it could eventually help people who live with DID. I want to experience that feeling again. Successfully analyzing these fMRI and PET studies and learning to code drives me to pursue more research opportunities, and this desire motivates me to study at a university that offers research opportunities to undergraduates. BU’s interdisciplinary approach to psychology and support for independent undergraduate research will optimally prepare me for a career as a neurological researcher.

This student clearly outlines BU-specific resources (the interdisciplinary course and undergrad research program), plus how these resources align with their professional goals (to become a neurological researcher). They do name professors, but since their work clearly relates to the student’s interests, it doesn’t look disingenuous, and shows that the student has done research on their fit with BU. The student also provides background on why they want to pursue research, and shows that they already have experience, which makes their interest in the undergrad research program more concrete.

The only thing missing from this essay is the student’s fit with BU in terms of extracurriculars and social life. “Why This College?” essays should also cover extracurriculars, as colleges are also interested in how you’ll contribute to their community. 

In general, these essays should be academic-leaning (especially if they’re under 250 words), but you should still address some social aspects of the college that appeal to you (we recommend about 70% academics, 30% social, with more or less focus on social aspects depending on the word count). 

Since the student probably already detailed their previous research in their Common App activities section, they could’ve just summarized their research background in one sentence (instead of 78 words, which is 31% of the total word count!), and used that valuable space to talk about a specific social aspect of BU that interests them. 

Essay Example #8: Boston University

Prompt: In no more than 250 words, please tell us why BU is a good fit for you and what specifically has led you to apply for admission. 

I am fascinated by research, though completely uninterested in the disciplines traditionally associated with it, such as STEM fields. I need to find a school that will balance my desire to conduct research with my interest in political science. 

While many schools boast in-depth student research programs for those looking to cure diseases or develop solutions to global warming, few tout their support for humanities research. Additionally, many universities that do allocate funding to social science research typically reserve these monies for graduate students or upperclassmen. BU, with the help of its Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, will allow me to conduct research on the topics that most intrigue me, such as gender disparity in politics, or the relationship between dominant parties in power and the country’s economy and involvement in foreign affairs. Furthermore, I can begin these studies as early as my first year. Not only can I take classes with professors like Sandra McEvoy or Dino Christenson to develop my interests in a classroom setting, but I could also work with one of them to develop new knowledge in the topics that we both enjoy learning about. With this knowledge base and experience conducting studies with top professors in a respected research institution, I will be well-prepared for my future law career. I want to learn in an environment that encourages independent study no matter one’s field of interest or experience, and BU’s support of intellectual curiosity for all of its students makes it a perfect fit for me.

This student knows exactly what they want, and they’re not afraid to state it bluntly. Their intro paragraph is totally honest about their interests (or lack of interest), and we immediately understand one of their main college goals: to conduct political science research.

The student mentions a specific resource, the Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program, as well as an alignment with BU’s value of encouraging independent study in all fields. Showing alignment with a specific value of the university is a great way to take your essay to the next level.

This essay shows us that the student would be a great fit for BU and would take advantage of its research opportunities.

The writer mentions some of their research interests, but doesn’t explain the motivation behind them. We don’t actually learn very much about the student themself, which is a common flaw of “Why This College?” essays. The essay would’ve been stronger if they’d explained why they’re interested in “gender disparity in politics, or the relationship between dominant parties in power and the country’s economy and involvement in foreign affairs.” For example, maybe they feel strongly about abortion rights and are upset about the way men have been legislating women’s rights.

The student also names two professors whose classes they’d like to take and with whom they’d like to do research, but we aren’t told which classes they’re interested in, or which topics they could cover together. You want to avoid “name-dropping” professors without context in your essay. If the student shared the names of specific classes or research topics and why they’re interested in them, that would’ve strengthened their essay.

Essay Example #9: Tufts

Prompt: Why Tufts? (100 words) 

When Deanne, Tufts’ admissions counselor, visited my school, she immediately caught my attention by emphasizing Tufts’ diverse yet unified campus. Tufts’ inclusive definition of diversity goes beyond merely recruiting students from a variety of backgrounds. Tufts seeks to integrate these categories of diversity and pushes its students to learn from one another. One such intersectional program that attracts me is CAFE (Conversation, Action, Faith, and Education). By joining CAFE, a community that promotes interfaith education, I will learn from my peers, become more understanding of other religious backgrounds, and apply this broader understanding to my academic work at Tufts.

It’s hard to write a “Why This College?” essay in 100 words. This essay does a good job sticking to one unique element of Tufts—its intersectionality. Since Tufts also cares about demonstrated interest, it’s great that the student also mentioned speaking with an admissions counselor. 

We unfortunately don’t learn very much about the student from this essay. Why do they care about diversity and interfaith programs? How does this relate to their academic and career goals? While the word count is super short, they could’ve cut these lines and jumped right into the specific resource they’re interested in: Tufts’ inclusive definition of diversity goes beyond merely recruiting students from a variety of backgrounds. Tufts seeks to integrate these categories of diversity and pushes its students to learn from one another.

Here’s an example of a stronger version of this essay:

When a Tufts admissions counselor visited my school, she immediately caught my attention by emphasizing Tufts’ diverse yet unified campus. As a Muslim hoping to go into International Relations, I want to attend a school that not only recruits diverse students, but pushes them to learn from one another. I hope to join intersectional programs such as CAFE (Conversation, Action, Faith, and Education). By joining this community that promotes interfaith education, I will gain the necessary perspective and compassion to become a human rights lawyer in countries with religious conflict, such as my homeland Azerbaijan.

Essay Example #10: Tufts

Prompt: Why Tufts? (100 words)

Someday I hope to conduct medical research in developing countries; Tufts attracts me because of its wide array of majors it offers and support for undergraduate research. To understand the human brain, I hope to study biology, neuroscience, and psychology. In addition to outstanding faculty in each of these areas, Tufts also organizes initiatives including the International Research Program. Through this program, I would work with other students and faculty members on an international project related to brain diseases. This opportunity will give me a taste of my future career and help me narrow the scope of my later studies.

This essay does a better job of sharing the student’s goals with us compared to the previous Tufts essay. We learn that the applicant is interested in medical research in developing countries on brain diseases, and that Tufts has a program to support international research.

The essay still mentions some resources that could apply to many schools, which is not an effective use of the tiny word count. For example, they say: “Tufts attracts me because of its wide array of majors it offers and support for undergraduate research” and they mention the “outstanding faculty” in the fields they plan to study.

They also don’t tell us their motivation behind studying brain diseases abroad, and it feels like there’s a significant story there. Giving some background would’ve further strengthened their essay.

Finally, they mention that they still need to narrow the scope of their studies; while it’s fine to be undecided on your career and majors, you don’t need to spend your precious word count saying that in your essay. They could’ve instead shared a couple potential avenues they’re considering.

Here’s what the student could’ve written instead:

Outcomes for schizophrenia patients are better in developing countries than in developed ones. I hope to research the reasons behind this and improve the treatment options in the US for the cousin I grew up with. In college, I want to study biology, neuroscience, and psychology. Tufts attracts me because of its unique interdisciplinary BS in Cognitive and Brain Science and its International Research Program. Through this program, I could do the research I’ve dreamt of doing with a faculty member and other students, preparing me for my future career as either a researcher or clinician.

Essay Example #11: Georgia Tech

Prompt: Why do you want to study your chosen major specifically at Georgia Tech? (300 words)

Climate change is a human rights issue.  

There the headline was, screaming on my phone screen. I think about those suffering from a lack of clean water. I think about those suffering from a lack of clean air. 

I often think back to that headline – it’s what drives my passion for environmental engineering. As an environmental engineer, I can mitigate air pollution and design water treatment systems that address the water injustices that people face. However, it’s not just about creating a technology that cleans water; it’s about changing people’s lives. New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech’s research on creating a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those in need of improved sanitation aligns perfectly with my interests.   

At Georgia Tech, through the student-led organization, Engineers for a Sustainable World and the InVenture Prize, I can translate the knowledge gained from my classes into a concrete vision. I can design and implement hands-on sustainability projects around Atlanta and invent a water sanitation system for the on-site acquisition of clean water. 

Georgia Tech can also provide me with ample research opportunities, such as the broad area of Healthy Communities in the School of Civil and Environmental Engineering. I can further pursue my interest in developing solutions to deliver clean water while welcoming new areas of inquiry. An area I would like to explore would be the controlling of dangerous matter in the air to reduce health hazards; reducing the impact of climate change is of utmost importance to me. 

Studying environmental engineering at Georgia Tech would well prepare me to develop solutions to climate-related issues. With the countless opportunities that Georgia Tech has to offer, I know there is nowhere else where I can receive a better environmental engineering education.

What the Essay Did Well l

This essay begins with an attention-grabbing statement that leaves the reader wondering how this will relate to the student’s interest in Georgia Tech. They then transition seamlessly into how climate change and human rights motivate their desire to become an environmental engineer.

The student mentions several resources specific to Georgia Tech that would help them achieve their goals, such as the research on the toilet turning waste into water, Engineers for a Sustainable World, InVenture Prize, and Healthy Communities research. It’s clear that they did their research and have reflected on their fit with the campus community.

They end the essay explicitly stating that Georgia Tech is the best place for them to grow, and the reader is certainly convinced of this by the end.

This essay is quite strong, so there’s not much that the student could’ve improved. That said, there is one sentence that is a bit awkwardly worded: New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech’s research on creating a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those in need of improved sanitation aligns perfectly with my interests.

Instead, the student could’ve written:

New technologies can make a lasting difference in humanitarian issues worldwide; Georgia Tech aligns with this value of mine and is even developing a toilet that turns human waste into clean water for those who need improved sanitation.

Essay Example #12: Georgia Tech

From my first Java project, a somewhat primitive graphing calculator, I realized that CS unlocks a different way of thinking. My brain races at speeds it seldom touches with other subjects. Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve and affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application. 

“Progress and Service,” Georgia Tech’s motto, tells me there’s no better place to explore my curiosity and deepen my CS skills while simultaneously helping make the world a better place, my ultimate goal for a college education. 

In the classroom, I look forward to GT’s threads program, where I can tailor the curriculum to suit my career choice after exposing myself to all technical aspects of CS.

I’ll apply my specialized learning with Tech’s fascinating research opportunities. Professor Pandarinth’s brain-machine interfacing software means a lot to me. My uncle passed away from a freak accident after extensive paralysis because potential treatments were unaffordable. Exploring this revolutionary brain decoding software wouldn’t just involve me in cutting-edge artificial intelligence technology research, I’d be personally driven to ensure its success and accessibility. 

I’m at my best building towards tangible results. I learned this on my robotics team using design skills to create a technically complex robot that tackles anything from shooting balls to hanging on a balance beam. I’m excited to expand my skills on the RoboJackets team, applying my career interests to build ferocious BattleBots and autonomous race robots that compete on the Indy Speedway, two events that sound ridiculously fun. 

Of course, I can’t skip hackathons. These competitions molded my interest in coding so I want to give back to Georgia Tech’s Hack-Community by planning HackGT and the Catalyst Mentorship program as a member of the Hexlabs team. 

The student’s passion for CS shines through this essay. They explain what they love about the subject (the problem-solving aspect) and they share that they hope to make a difference through CS, demonstrating alignment with Tech’s motto of  “progress and service”.

It’s clear that this student has done their research, mentioning specific academic programs, research, and clubs. We can see that they’d be greatly engaged with the campus community.

Finally, this essay is also down-to-earth. The student doesn’t try to use impressive vocabulary or formal language. In fact, they even describe some extracurriculars as “ridiculously fun.” While you shouldn’t get too informal in your essays, this student’s casual tone in this context makes them feel more approachable and more excited about the prospect of going to Georgia Tech.

This essay has a couple sentences that are confusing to read:

Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve and affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application.

This sentence could’ve been broken up and rewritten as:

Every part of CS, from conceptualizing a plan to executing a solution, is another piece of a puzzle I’m eager to solve. For me, the field affords the most opportunities for creative problem-solving and application.

This sentence also uses incorrect grammar—the comma should be replaced with a semicolon:

Exploring this revolutionary brain decoding software wouldn’t just involve me in cutting-edge artificial intelligence technology research, I’d be personally driven to ensure its success and accessibility. 

These details would make the essay more readable.

The organization of the essay could also be reworked. The student mentions Tech’s motto of “progress and service,” but doesn’t follow up until later with an example of how they’d use CS for the greater good. Using CS for social good isn’t ultimately the theme of their essay, so this section would’ve been better placed at the end of the paragraph about AI technology research, or at the very end of the essay. The essay actually ends abruptly, so placing the section at the end might’ve tied it up nicely, if the student could’ve placed more emphasis on how they plan to use CS to improve society.

Do you want feedback on your “Why This College” essays? After rereading your essays countless times, it can be difficult to evaluate your writing objectively. That’s why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other students’ essays. 

If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!

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