this i believe essays funeral

Words of wisdom: Always go to the funeral.

About 10 years ago National Public Radio broadcast a series of essays called “This I Believe.” Some of the essays were by famous people, others by people I had never heard of. The one I remember best was called “Always Go to the Funeral.” It was funny, moving, unexpected, with a message simple and practical.

That essay often pops into my mind, usually when I am on the way to a funeral. Recently, I realized I would make one small adjustment to its pithy advice. “Do it for the family,” the essayist Deirdre Sullivan recalls her father instructing her when he dropped her 16-year-old self off at the funeral service of her fifth-grade teacher. These days I would say, “Do it for yourself.”

Cheerfully attending to whatever unwelcome task crops up is not to my mind a common or even natural trait in human beings.

Funerals are instructive. I learn things I never knew about the person who died, things that make me think more about how they lived and what their lives say about their faith and values. A recent funeral service for Mr. Bliss—a man I knew almost all of my life, though never well—surprised me when a daughter described her father as a man so meticulous and methodical that he never lost his keys, wallet or sunglasses. She then shared that Mr. Bliss happily did any job that needed to be done at his home or office. Cheerfully attending to whatever unwelcome task crops up is not to my mind a common or even natural trait in human beings. I had always found Mr. Bliss a friendly soul, but I came away from his funeral persuaded that he was something more: a formidably organized, well-disciplined personality who had attained an equanimity of spirits as rare as it is impressive. When I learned that among the many items he never lost was his temper, the word “saintly” crossed my mind.

Last month I attended my aunt’s memorial service. There was never a question of my not going to this service. For one thing, she was my aunt, and I only had two of them. For another, she was a star. She and her husband lived 600 miles away in Denver, where they moved in a constant whirl of activity. They were a great couple. He was witty and quick, with deadpan humor and superb timing. She was warm and vivacious. They both liked a good time and had one. One of my cousins said she thought of putting on her mother’s tombstone: “She sure had fun.”

People’s lives testify to their beliefs as much or more than their words.

I wish I had asked my aunt what she believed. I wonder what she would have said. But she was not one for introspection or philosophizing. She lived in the present. Empathetic and emotional, she was also pragmatic and levelheaded. Nobody teared up more quickly about the misfortunes of friends or strangers alike than her. And yet she was not lachrymose or depressed but energetic and vital. An innate joie de vivre drew people to her. She loved meeting them and connecting them to others. At the memorial reception hosted by her children there was much discussion of “The Claw,” the hand that descended on your forearm and firmly grasped it as she steered you toward a person she was convinced you needed to meet because he or she was in the same line of work or had a daughter or son who was or had just returned from a spot where you were going or knew something you would want to learn.

People’s lives testify to their beliefs as much or more than their words. Their habits paint a picture of what they really put stock in: friendship or an ideal of excellence or security or wealth or whatever it is that animates them. Hearing a eulogy at a funeral nudges me into thinking about my own conduct. It is a lesson in life, one bigger than I will ever fully grasp.

Listening to friends and family members talk about the person they have lost, I know that I am tuning into the last few bars of music, the faint receding chords of a symphony that I have largely missed. The conductor has put down his baton; the music has ceased, but everyone at the funeral is still caught up in the spell of what has been played. There is a sense of mystery that draws me in. It is in that mystery we honor wherein my faith and the faith of the dead meet briefly in communion.

Margot Patterson is a writer who lives in Kansas City, Mo.

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Always go to the funeral: a 'this i believe' essay audible audiobook – unabridged.

• Listening Length 3 minutes
• Author Deirdre Sullivan
• Narrator Deirdre Sullivan
• Audible release date October 3, 2007
• Language English
• Publisher Macmillan Audio
• ASIN B000WS9ZG0
• Version Unabridged
• Program Type Audiobook
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Always Go to the Funeral

• A 'This I Believe' Essay
• By: Deirdre Sullivan
• Narrated by: Deirdre Sullivan
• Length: 3 mins
• 3.7 out of 5 stars 3.7 (3 ratings)

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• Series: This I Believe , Book 1: Essay 72
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This I believe : the personal philosophies of remarkable men and women

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Elie Wiesel's 'This I Believe': A God who remembers

I remember, May 1944: I was 15-and-a-half, and I was thrown into a haunted universe where the story of the human adventure seemed to swing irrevocably between horror and malediction. I remember, I remember because I was there with my father. I was still living with him there. We worked together. We returned to the camp together. We stayed in the same block. We slept in the same box. We shared bread and soup. Never were we so close to one another.

We talked a lot to each other, especially in the evenings, but never of death. I believed — I hoped — that I would not survive him, not even for one day. Without saying it to him, I thought I was the last of our line. With him, our past would die; with me, our future.

The moment the war ended, I believed — we all did — that anyone who survived death must bear witness. Some of us even believed that they survived in order to become witnesses. But then I knew deep down that it would be impossible to communicate the entire story. Nobody can. I personally decided to wait, to see during 10 years if I would be capable to find the proper words, the proper pace, the proper melody or maybe even the proper silence to describe the ineffable.

For in my tradition, as a Jew, I believe that whatever we receive we must share. When we endure an experience, the experience cannot stay with me alone. It must be opened, it must become an offering, it must be deepened and given and shared. And of course I am afraid that memories suppressed could come back with a fury, which is dangerous to all human beings, not only to those who directly were participants but to people everywhere, to the world, for everyone. So, therefore, those memories that are discarded, shamed, somehow they may come back in different ways — disguised, perhaps seeking another outlet.

Create a More Connected Minnesota

MPR News is your trusted resource for the news you need. With your support, MPR News brings accessible, courageous journalism and authentic conversation to everyone - free of paywalls and barriers. Your gift makes a difference.

Granted, our task is to inform. But information must be transformed into knowledge, knowledge into sensitivity and sensitivity into commitment.

How can we therefore speak, unless we believe that our words have meaning, that our words will help others to prevent my past from becoming another person's — another peoples' — future. Yes, our stories are essential — essential to memory. I believe that the witnesses, especially the survivors, have the most important role. They can simply say, in the words of the prophet, "I was there."

What is a witness if not someone who has a tale to tell and lives only with one haunting desire: to tell it. Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future.

After all, God is God because he remembers.

Independently produced for All Things Considered by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with John Gregory and Viki Merrick. Copyright 2019 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

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This I Believe

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2006

Plot Summary

• “Be cool to the pizza dude,” by Sarah Adams
• “Leaving identity issues to other folks,” by Phyllis Allen
• “In giving I connect with others,” by Isabel Allende
• “Remembering all the boys,” by Elvia Bautista
• “The mountain disappears,” by Leonard Bernstein
• “How is it possible to believe in God?” by William F. Buckley Jr.
• “The fellowship of the world,” by Niven Busch
• “There is no job more important than parenting,” by Benjamin Carson
• “A journey toward acceptance and love,” by Greg Chapman
• “A shared moment of trust,” by Warren Christopher
• “The hardest work you will ever do,” by Mary Cook
• “Good can be as communicable as evil,” by Norman Corwin
• “A daily walk just to listen,” by Susan Cosio
• “The elusive yet holy core,” by Kathy Dahlen
• “My father’s evening star,” by William O. Douglas
• “An honest doubter: Have I learned anything important since I was sixteen?” by Elizabeth Deutsch Earle
• “An ideal of service to our fellow man,” by Albert Einstein
• “The power and mystery of naming things,” by Eve Ensler
• “A goal of service to humankind,” by Anthony Fauci
• “The God who embraced me,” by John W. Fountain
• “Unleashing the power of creativity,” by Bill Gates
• “The people who love you when no one else will,” by Cecile Gilmer
• “The willingness to work for solutions,” by Newt Gingrich
• “The connection between strangers,” by Miles Goodwin
• “An athlete of God,” by Martha Graham
• “Seeing in beautiful, precise pictures,” by Temple Grandin
• “Disrupting my comfort zone,” by Brian Grazer
• “Science nourishes the mind and the soul,” by Brian Greene
• “In praise of the ‘Wobblies’,” by Ted Gup
• “The power of presence,” by Debbie Hall
• “A grown-up Barbie,” by Jane Hamill
• “Happy talk,” by Oscar Hammerstein II
• “Natural links in a long chain of being,” by Victor Hanson
• “Talking with the sun,” by Joy Harjo
• “A morning prayer in a little church,” by Helen Hayes
• “Our noble, essential decency,” by Robert A. Heinlein
• “A new birth of freedom,” by Maximillan Hodder
• “The benefits of restlessness and jagged edges,” by Kay Redfield Jamison
• “There is no God,” by Penn Jillette
• “A duty to heal,” by Pius Kamau
• “Living life with ‘Grace and elegant treeness’,” by Ruth Kamps
• “The light of a brighter day,” by Helen Keller
• “The bright lights of freedom,” by Harold Hongju Koh
• “The power of love to transform and heal,” by Jackie Lantry
• “The power of mysteries,” by Alan Lightman
• “Life grows in the soil of time,” by Thomas Mann
• “Why I close my restaurant,” by George Mardikian
• “The virtues of the quiet hero,” by John McCain
• “The joy and enthusiasm of reading,” by Rick Moody
• “There is such a thing as truth,” by Errol Morris
• “The rule of law,” by Michael Mullane
• “Getting angry can be a good thing,” by Cecilia Muñoz
• “Mysterious connections that link us together,” by Azar Nafisi
• “The making of poems,” by Gregory Orr
• “We are each other’s business,” by Eboo Patel
• “The 50-percent theory of life,” by Steve Porter
• “The America I believe in,” by Colin Powell
• “The real consequences of justice,” by Frederic Reamer
• “There is more to life than my life,” by Jamaica Ritcher
• “Tomorrow will be a better day,” by Josh Rittenberg
• “Free minds and hearts at work,” by Jackie Robinson
• “Growth that starts from thinking,” by Eleanor Roosevelt
• “The artistry in hidden talents,” by Mel Rusnov
• “My fellow worms,” by Carl Sandburg
• “When children are wanted,” by Margaret Sanger
• “Jazz is the sound of God laughing,” by Colleen Shaddox
• “There is no such thing as too much barbecue,” by Jason Sheehan
• “The people have spoken,” by Mark shields
• “Everything potent is dangerous,” by Wallace Stegner
• “A balance between nature and nurture,” by Gloria Steinem
• “Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness,” by Andrew Sullivan
• “Always go to the funeral,” by Deirdre Sullivan
• “Finding prosperity by feeding monkeys,” by Harold Taw
• “I agree with a pagan,” by Arnold Toynbee
• “Testing the limits of what I know and feel,” by John Updike
• “How do you believe in a mystery?” by Loudon Wainwright III
• “Creative solutions to life’s challenges,” by Frank X. Walker
• “Goodness doesn’t just happen,” by Rebecca West
• “When ordinary people achieve extraordinary things,” by Jody Williams

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Carolyn Hax: Is it hypocrisy to attend funeral of sibling with an abusive past?

Dear Carolyn: I have a sibling who did some pretty bad things to me growing up. Stole money from me, told many lies to friends about me and my other siblings, all to probably build up his own self-esteem and tell an interesting story to his friends that made him look good. For that reason, we were never very close but were cordial at our few-and-far-between family events.

He is now very ill. When the time comes, do I go to the funeral, or would that make me a hypocrite? It will be awkward since most of his family is aware of the situation with our relationship, but not in detail. Not sure what to do, and any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.

— Struggling Sibling

Struggling Sibling: If funeral attendance hinged on having a recent, close, functional relationship with the deceased, then a lot of us would be escorting ourselves to the beyond.

I actually mean this as encouragement. People are messy and complicated. If we want to honor a life, then we need a better reason than its messiness to keep us from doing that.

If the deceased matters to you, if someone close to the deceased matters to you or if someone close to you mattered to the deceased, and if you’re able and willing to go, and suspect you’ll regret not going, then go.

How his family will feel about your being there is a valid point to consider; you don’t want to muscle past your ambivalence about attending just to antagonize the family. But that’s for high-level wrongdoing and feuding, not childhood resentments that have long since settled into “cordial” avoidance. With those, showing up is the generous act. The Aug. 8, 2005, “ This I Believe ” essay on NPR explains why better than I can.

Your brother did his worst while you were still kids, if I read you correctly. He’s grown now, you’re grown, too, and he’s ill. Maybe the real struggle is not how to handle the funeral, but how to put a difficult relationship emotionally to rest before you ever thought you’d have to?

I don’t mean to overstep, and I don’t have an opinion myself about what you do. I suggest only that if you have any impulse at all toward an attempt to make peace with him, act on it now. Don’t waste time trying to reason it out.

Hello, Carolyn: When did it become fashionable to not apologize? There have been two times in the recent past when I have been wronged blatantly, and no apology has been forthcoming.

When you’ve been attacked, what do you do? You pull back. You lick your wounds and wait for an apology to make everything right so you can renew your relationship.

So what happens when that apology doesn’t happen? I know it’s hard to admit you’ve hurt someone. But not apologizing only serves to compound the pain. I find myself not only hurt but severely disappointed in these people. I still love them, but I don’t want to, and I wish I didn’t because it would be so much easier.

The older you get and the more this happens, the more you question if you are too sensitive, or if they are just not worth it. And I have to force myself to steer clear of them, which goes against my natural inclination to love.

When I was younger, I noticed that when people in my mother’s generation got older, their worlds shrank and they didn’t socialize as much. And I always wondered why. Is it the accumulation of all these insults and injuries that were never resolved?

L.: If they’re all just sitting home feeling wounded and waiting for apologies, then that could explain the social die-off.

But it’s the waiting that mystifies me, not the lack of apologies.

People often fail to apologize because they don’t know they need to. You say you were “wronged blatantly” and “attacked” as if there’s such thing as a universal, objective scorekeeping service to which we all subscribe. But all we have is perception.

That means your two friends could be waiting right now for their apologies from you.

If your modus operandi upon taking offense is to cease all communication until you’re made whole, then you have no idea what anyone else is thinking or why.

Next time you feel wronged, do whatever wound-tending you feel is necessary, then get back out there: “I’ve thought a lot about our argument,” you say to your perceived attacker. “When you said/did X, that really hurt.” Find out whether it’s even possible to agree on what happened, then figure out who owes what to whom.

Getting through that conversation with courage and a mind open to your friend’s perspective, and without making rash accusations (“You always … !” “You never … !”) or losing your cool, is the path to understanding — which is more effective than an apology at getting friendships back on their feet. The ones worth saving, at least. Not worth it: people who simply will not admit fault.

More from Carolyn Hax

From the archive:

A DNA test and a long-kept family secret

No ring yet, causing a whole other series of questions to pop up

When a high-maintenance friend wants to join you on your vacation

Aunt unfriends niece for excluding her from baby shower

Husband says he doesn’t need exercise, regular checkups

Sign up for Carolyn’s email newsletter to get her column delivered to your inbox each morning.

Carolyn has a Q&A with readers on Fridays. Read the most recent live chat here . The next chat is May 17 at 12 p.m.

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4.5: “This I Believe” Essay

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The History of ‘This I Believe’

by Tanya Matthews

This I Believe is an exciting media project that invites individuals from all walks of life to write about and discuss the core beliefs that guide their daily lives. They share these statements in weekly broadcasts on NPR’s Morning Edition and All Things Considered .

The series is based on the 1950’s radio program This I Believe , hosted by acclaimed journalist Edward R. Murrow. Each day, some 39-million Americans gathered by their radios to hear compelling essays from the likes of Eleanor Roosevelt, Jackie Robinson, Helen Keller and Harry Truman as well as corporate leaders, cab drivers, scientists and secretaries — anyone able to distill into a few minutes the guiding principles by which they lived. Their words brought comfort and inspiration to a country worried about the Cold War, McCarthyism and racial division.

Eventually, the radio series became a cultural phenomenon. Eighty-five leading newspapers printed a weekly column based on This I Believe . A collection of essays published in 1952 sold 300,000 copies — second only to the Bible that year. The series was translated and broadcast around the globe on the Voice of America. A book of essays translated into Arabic sold 30,000 copies in just three days.

[The NPR series This I Believe can be read and heard here . In addition, the website and organization This I Believe houses thousands of essays written by famous people, such as the ones mentioned above, and everyday people like you and me.]

As a college student in 2020, you are faced with turbulent politics, socioeconomic issues, and ethical dilemmas that will challenge you to take a stand and contribute to the local, national, and global conversation around you. The purpose of this writing task is not to persuade you to agree on the same beliefs. Rather, it is to encourage you to begin the much more difficult task of developing respect for beliefs different from your own. Fifty years ago, Edward R. Murrow’s project struck such a chord with millions of Americans. It can do so again today…with you.

Video Resources for Generating Ideas

Dan gediman on writing a “this i believe essay”.

Read Cecelia Munoz’s essay “Getting Angry Can Be a Good Thing” referred to in the previous video here .

“This I Believe” Essay with Animation

“This I Believe” Essay Ideas

Prewriting Activity

1) analyze others’ statements.

Consider the following statements, written in response to the question What Have You Learned About Life? Highlight any sentences that resonate with you. Talk about them with a partner or group, explaining why. 1. I’ve learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. – Age 9 2. I’ve learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. – Age 14 3. I’ve learned that although it’s hard to admit it, I’m secretly glad my parents are strict with me. – Age 15 4. I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. – Age 39 5. I’ve learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don’t know how to show it. – Age 42 6. I’ve learned that you can make someone’s day by simply sending them a little note. – Age 44 7. I’ve learned that the greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others. – Age 46 8. I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. – Age 48 9. I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die. – Age 53 10. I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life. – Age 58 11. I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. – Age 62 12. I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision. – Age 66 13. I’ve learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I’ve seen several. – Age 75 14. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one. – Age 82 15. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch—holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. – Age 85 16. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. – Age 92

2) Compose Your Own Statement

Write down a sentence that expresses what YOU have learned about life. Maybe it is similar to one of the statements above; maybe it’s completely different. Whatever it is, write it down.

3) Freewrite

Now free-write about your sentence. Include at least two examples / experiences that you have had that support why you think this way.

Personal Statement/Philosophy: ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Why do you believe in this statement? ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Name two experiences that you had that would support the statement: _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ What does this say about yourself or your personality? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ After your life experience, how have you come to the conclusion that this should be your statement? How have your beliefs changed, if at all? ____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How has the event effected your relationship with a person, place, or object? _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ How does your statement apply to you today? (How you view yourself & society) ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

SAMPLE STUDENT ESSAYS

Sample #1: america’s beauty is in its diversity.

written by Alaa El-Saad, high school student, as heard on NPR’s Tell Me More (2009)

America is built on the idea of freedom, and there is no exception for Muslim women. I believe in the freedom of religion and speech. But mostly, I believe it’s OK to be different, and to stand up for who and what you are. So I believe in wearing the hijab.

The hijab is a religious head covering, like a scarf. I am Muslim and keeping my head covered is a sign of maturity and respect toward my religion and to Allah’s will. To be honest, I also like to wear it to be different. I don’t usually like to do what everyone else is doing. I want to be an individual, not just part of the crowd. But when I first wore it, I was also afraid of the reaction that I’d get at school.

I decided on my own that sixth grade was the time I should start wearing the hijab. I was scared about what the kids would say or even do to me. I thought they might make fun of me, or even be scared of me and pull off my headscarf. Kids at that age usually like to be all the same, and there’s little or no acceptance for being different.

On the first day of school, I put all those negative thoughts behind my back and walked in with my head held high. I was holding my breath a little, but inside I was also proud to be a Muslim, proud to be wearing the hijab, proud to be different.

I was wrong about everything I thought the kids would say or even do to me. I actually met a lot of people because of wearing my head covering. Most of the kids would come and ask me questions—respectfully—about the hijab, and why I wore it.

I did hear some kid was making fun of me, but there was one girl—she wasn’t even in my class, we never really talked much—and she stood up for me, and I wasn’t even there! I made a lot of new friends that year, friends that I still have until this very day, five years later.

Yes, I’m different, but everyone is different here, in one way or another. This is the beauty of America. I believe in what America is built on: all different religions, races and beliefs. Different everything.

Sample #2: The Essentials to Happiness

written by Alexxandra Schuman, high school student, as heard on The Bob Edwards Show (2013)

As a child, I was generally happy; singing and dancing to my favorite songs; smiling and laughing with my friends and family. But as far back as second grade, I noticed a “darkness,” about me. I didn’t enjoy engaging in many things. I didn’t relate to my peers in elementary school because they appeared so happy, and I didn’t have that ability to achieve happiness so easily.

In middle school things in my life began to get even worse. I began withdrawing from everything I once enjoyed; swimming, tennis, family. I hated going to sleep knowing I had to wake up to another day. I was always tired. Everything was horrible. Finally, midway through eighth grade, I was told I had a chemical imbalance; diagnosed with clinical depression and put on medication. It took months for me to feel the effects of the medication.

When I began to feel happy again, is when I realized that I had to take the responsibility for getting better myself, rather than relying on medication and therapy alone. Aristotle said, “To live happily is an inward power of the soul,” and I believe that this quote describes what I had to do to achieve happiness. Happiness is a journey. Everyone seems to need different things to be happy. But I believe people are blinded from what truly makes one happy.

Growing up, we’re encouraged to be successful in life; but how is success defined? Success and happiness are imagined now as having a lot of money. It is so untrue. Recently I went to Costa Rica and visited the small town of El Roble. I spent the day with a nine-year old girl named Marilyn. She took me to her house to meet her parents. It was obvious that they were not rich; living in a small house with seven children. The house was cluttered but full of life. Those who have decided that success and happiness comes from having money and a big house would be appalled at how utterly happy this family from El Roble is. People say that seeing things like that make you appreciate what you have, but for me, it made me envy them for being so happy without all the things I have.

“The essentials to happiness are something to love, something to do, and something to hope for,” a quote from William Blake sums up what I believe people need to realize to be truly happy in life. People need love; I feel they need their family and their friends more than anything in the world. People need work to do, something to make them feel they are making a difference in the world. People need to know that more good is to come in the future, so they continue to live for “now” instead of constantly worrying about the bad that could come. And most importantly people need to know that happiness is not something that happens overnight. Love and hope is happiness.

Sample #3: Find a Good Frog

written by Delia Motavalli, high school student, as heard on The Bob Edwards Show (2013)

I believe in finding a good frog. It seems that all throughout childhood, we are taught to look for a happily ever after. “And they all lived happily ever after”; isn’t that the conclusion to many children’s films? When I was a kid I always thought of that as magical; but now really it just seems unrealistic. And it teaches us that what we want is a fairytale like they have in the storybooks. We all want to be Cinderella who gets swept off her feet by the hot prince; we want to live in the royal castle, right? But I don’t think that’s necessarily a good thing for us to seek. Now I’m not saying I believe in being pessimistic, but I do believe in being realistic; it’s something I got from my mom.

My mother and I always have our best conversations in the rain. We sit in the car, neither of us wanting to brave the rain to get to the house. So we sit. We watch droplets race down the windshield, listen to the rain strike the roof of her little blue Honda, and feel the heater on full-blast rushing at our feet (just the way we like it). I don’t know why, but sitting in the car, we always talk more than normal. There was one rainy day when my mom told me something that is going to stick with me forever. Earlier that day she and my dad had been arguing about something; I can’t remember what. So she said, “Don’t spend your life looking for Prince Charming. Instead, find yourself a really good frog.”

At the time, I found this thought really disheartening. Who wants to think that you’ll never find Prince Charming? You’ll never get to be Cinderella? Another thought that struck my mind: if my mom says there’s no Prince Charming, then what’s my dad? A frog? I asked her, and she replied with, “Of course! If he were Prince Charming, he wouldn’t snore, would be able to cook, and we would never argue. But you know what? He’s a damn good frog.” Of course, being young, I didn’t think of the meaning behind what she was saying. I was too busy thinking of it literally, visualizing my mom as a princess and my dad in frog form.

But a few years later, I understand the value of my mom’s words. You can’t expect everything to be perfect. Let’s be completely honest; if you wait your whole life for your prince with flowing hair, statuesque features, and a white horse, you’re going to be lonely. I think that the point of finding a good frog is you accept something that’s great, flaws and all. It’s so easy to be picky. You can find the one tiny thing that’s wrong, and that one tiny thing is what you can’t get your mind off of. But in life, we can’t afford to wait years in vain for perfection. So I think that a good frog, an amazing frog, the best frog you can find is what we’re really looking for in this world. Don’t laze through life waiting for a happily ever after, because I don’t think you’ll be very happy with the outcome.

Examples from the ‘This I Believe’ Website

Be Cool to the Pizza Dude by Sarah Adams

They Lived Their Faith by Charles Henry Parrish

Returning to What’s Natural by Amelia Baxter-Stoltzfus

The Birthright of Human Dignity by Will Thomas

Remembering All The Boys by Elvia Bautista

I Am Still The Greatest by Muhammad Ali

A Goal Of Service To Humankind by Anthony Fauci

My Life Is Better by Abraham

Give Me a Waffle by Brenda

The Little Things by Sophie Crossley

You can also browse thousands more This I Believe essays by theme .

Prefer to Listen to Get Inspiration?

Check out This I Believe’s Podcast Series

4) Drafting

Assignment guidelines + suggestions and tips for drafting.

1. While the examples you’ve been given can serve as a model, it is essential that each of you write about a personal belief or philosophy that you feel strongly about. 2. Tell a story. Personal experiences are the corner stone of a good essay. Your story doesn’t have to be a heart breaker or even a major event, but it must be something that has affected how you think, feel, and act. List your personal experiences that you intend to use as evidence below: 3. Be concise. Avoid repetition. This essay should be between 500 – 650 words. When read aloud, it should take roughly four minutes. 4. Name your belief. It is essential that you can name your belief in a sentence or two. Focus on one belief only. This is your thesis. Write it here: 5. Be positive. Avoid preaching or persuading. You aren’t trying to change the way others think or act. Write about what you believe, not what you don’t believe. 6. Use the first person. Speak for yourself. Avoid using we or you. 7. Let your voice shine. Use language that sounds like you. Read it aloud as your revise. Keep making changes until your essay sounds like you and captures the essence of your belief.

‘Bodkin’ Review: Crime in a Small Town? Send in the Podcasters

This Netflix series is about a true-crime podcast but plays more like a mopey murder show.

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By Margaret Lyons

There are worse shows to imitate than “Only Murders in the Building,” and perhaps “Bodkin,” premiering Thursday on Netflix, would be better if it had tried. It too is about the creation of a true-crime podcast, set in an enclave where quirky conflicts simmer for decades. It too pokes fun at the inanity of some podcasts, and it tries to weave a comedic pep into its pathos.

But “Bodkin,” created by Jez Scharf and executive produced by Barack and Michelle Obama, among others, takes more inspiration from mopey foreign murder shows. It has that common pervasive dampness along with plenty of clannish townspeople who resent these nosy Nellies poking around where they have no business. None! [Cue the jangling of the bells hung above the doorway in a quaint shop.]

Yes, there is a spooky local festival, and yes, the town’s top pastime is keeping dark secrets. No one asks direct questions, nor can anyone speak for long without drifting into a dreamy parable. The show is set in the present day, but the surroundings feel ancient.

Our town here is Bodkin, a (fictional) Irish village where years ago, during the annual celebration of Samhain (a Gaelic proto-Halloween), three people disappeared. Now our podcasters are on the case: Gilbert (Will Forte), a mostly cheery American with some successful podcasts under his belt; Dove (Siobhan Cullen), a Dublin-raised, London-based reporter who perceives this assignment as a banishment; and Emmy (Robyn Cara), the eager research assistant who tolerates their shabby treatment. Gilbert is vaguely dopey but ingratiating. Dove is so sour she could pickle a sociopath. To the show’s credit, at least they do not hook up with each other.

Dove says that true-crime stories aren’t real journalism, and while we’re led to believe she is an ace reporter, she seems unfamiliar with one of the core aspects of news gathering: earning the trust of potential sources. She is surly and rude to nearly everyone she meets. She breaks into a library after hours just because she’s impatient. Back in London, she had promised to protect a whistle-blower’s identity, but his name leaked somehow, and he later killed himself. This arc never fully meshes with the rest of the show, and it plays out mostly in terse phone calls. But everything with Dove is so one-note, it’s hard to see the specifics of her disrespect. Similarly, Gilbert’s money trouble and failing marriage — more phone calls — feel like tacked-on inventions rather than enriching character depth.

Will there ever be a show in which a female journalist doesn’t sleep with a source or subject? The search continues. Emmy falls for the local tech wunderkind and Dove for the sharp funeral director. Gilbert too becomes awfully enmeshed, befriending Seamus (David Wilmot), a local fisherman with a, yes, fishy past. Forte and Wilmot have the most interesting chemistry in the show: Gilbert is eager for good sound bites and Seamus loves to pontificate, but their deeper purposes are at odds. Neither can fully mask his prickly distrust, but both are desperate for the connection anyway. It’s a dangerous, fruitful combo.

Everywhere our podcasters go, they are met with mild derision. Will anyone really listen to a show like that? they are repeatedly asked. Well … not if these are the people making it. “Bodkin” has a seemingly viable mystery at its center, but Dove’s stubbornness means no one wants to open up to her, and Gilbert embodies the solipsistic triteness the show is critiquing but not quite effectively spoofing. Over and over, he speaks of the power of story, how stories shape the world, how storytelling is actually everything. “In the end, we’re all just stories,” he says at one point, and later: “What are we without our stories?”

Superficially, “Bodkin” has all the makings of a treat — there are plenty of snazzy one-liners and touching reveries as well as some fresh and inventive violence. Many of its twists do work, and there is plenty to critique about the true-crime industry and its mawkishness. We all love a country mouse outsmarting the city slicker, and the show, shot on location in Ireland, makes marvelous use of Bodkin’s geography, the history of its land.

But as with many true-crime podcasts, all these evocative elements together amount to a story that is ultimately unsatisfying. “Are you doing that thing where you say it’s about one thing, but it’s actually about something else?” a woman in a bar asks Gilbert after he explains why he’s in town. No, he says, he doesn’t do that kind of show. Maybe “Bodkin” should have considered it.

Margaret Lyons is a television critic at The Times, and writes the TV parts of the Watching newsletter . More about Margaret Lyons

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