how to write a killer college essay

• Campus Life

How to Write a Killer College Essay: A Step-by-Step Guide

Craft your way from ideas to impact!

When it comes to writing your college essay (or personal statement), it doesn’t matter whether you aced your SAT or failed your Algebra II class. Admissions committees are looking beyond your test scores and grades to truly understand who you are and what you can bring to their institution. 🌟

Since high school grades and test scores don’t tell the whole story, a great personal statement could be your ticket to the school of your dreams .

Now, the question is: how do I write an unforgettable essay that will impress admissions? 🤔

What Colleges Want to See in Your Essay

1. read all of the instructions, 2. brainstorm your college essay topic , 3. create your outline, 4. hook your readers with a compelling introduction, 5. support your ideas with examples, 6. use your voice and allow your personality to shine, 8. end your essay with a bang, 9. revise, revise, and revise some more, 10. ask someone to proofread your college essay, pro writing tips for nailing your college essay, frequently asked questions about how to write a college essay.

Your college essay should stand out to ensure that admissions officers remember you, even after reading through thousands of applications. Show the colleges who you really are — your personality, motivation, and why you’re the perfect fit. 🌟

Share moments that reveal your love for learning and your go-getter attitude. Let them know your thoughts on your desired major , and highlight how you’ve made a difference in clubs, groups, internship programs , or other activities. 🎓

But here’s the exciting part: you should use your essay to let your unique voice and creativity shine. Turn your opinions and beliefs into a strong, well-written message. Grab the reader’s attention with your originality and depth. 📝

Step-by-Step: How to Write Your College Essay

Writing a good college essay comes with a lot of pressure. You have to choose a suitable topic, navigate the limited word count, and make sure there are no grammatical errors . On top of that, you’ll probably need to write more than one piece. ✍️

But there’s no need to panic — we’ve broken down the whole writing process into 10 simple steps.   

Before you begin writing, make sure you carefully read the essay instructions . It’s essential to follow them closely because not doing so could make a poor impression on the admissions committee, and they might not even read your essay. 

College essay instructions typically mention the word or page count and provide a writing prompt. Once you’re sure you understand what is being asked of you, start thinking of a topic that fits well. 💡

Take a look at the writing prompts released by Common App to give you an idea of what to expect:

• Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that’s so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, please share your story.
• The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
• Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
• Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
• Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you’ve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Your topic is the most fundamental element of your college essay, but figuring out what to write about can be tricky. To narrow down your choices, align the essay topic with your unique experiences, values, or a transformative moment in your life . ✨

This targeted approach ensures that your essay not only stands out but also authentically represents who you are in the eyes of college admissions. Look back on your experiences and find a moment that really shows off your character. It could be an exciting adventure, a personal win, or a tough challenge you conquered.

Do you have any standout talents, like being a great painter, a skilled soccer player, or a talented pianist? Sharing your talents also shows how dedicated and passionate you are. 🎨

If the prompt wants you to talk about challenging beliefs, share a time you went against the norm . Perhaps you spoke out against an injustice, took a stance on a controversial issue, or challenged societal expectations. For instance, you might share a story about standing up to a bully for a friend. Or alternatively, you could explore an experience that pushed you to defy conventional beliefs . 💭

TIP: Ask your parents, friends, or teachers what they find most admirable or interesting about you. It can even be a memory or a lesson they learned from spending time with you.

Once you know what you want to write about, create an outline. A good structure will give your story a solid beginning, middle, and end.  📝

For starters, think about the main point or thesis of your piece. If you follow our prompts above, an example of a main idea could be the importance of mental health in the pursuit of academic excellence. Then visualize the relationships between your arguments and determine the order of ideas that tells the story in the clearest, most effective manner .

Here’s a basic breakdown of what your outline will need. 

• Introduction: 
• Open with an attention-grabbing line.
• Give a brief overview of the essay.
• End with your thesis statement.
• Present the main points — usually two or three ideas, each with its own paragraph.
• Give relevant examples and details for each point. 
• Echo your thesis statement.
• Summarize your main points.
• End with a strong, memorable line.

Sound familiar? That’s because the structure for your college essay is no different from the essays you’ve been writing in your high school English classes. With a great outline in place, all that’s left is to fill in the gaps and polish your message to perfection. 🧑‍💻

To write an outstanding college essay, you’ve got to nail your opening statement . Capture your reader’s attention from the start, as it sets the tone for the entire essay. 👀

A distinctive opening sentence, whether it’s an anecdote, quote, or thought-provoking question related to your topic, can ignite your reader’s curiosity and maintain their interest. 

Play around with making your opening hook witty, intriguing, memorable, or unconventional , but don’t get too stuck on writing your introduction.

TIP:  If the introduction doesn’t come to you right away, move on, and return to it later with a fresh perspective. 😉

Make your essay more credible by supporting your claims or ideas with specific details and examples. Instead of just stating facts, share experiences that illustrate your points . 

For example, if you’re talking about thriving under pressure, describe how you managed multiple deadlines for papers and presentations alongside a busy extracurricular schedule. 🗓️

Also, try to include numerical data to make your essay stronger . If you were involved in a fundraising campaign, mention how much money you raised and the percentage it increased from the previous year. This gives specific details and solid proof of what you achieved.

This not only makes your essay more honest and reliable but also gives the admissions committee a memorable view of your strengths in real-life situations. 💯

Your essay must remain authentic and true to your personality. This will help admissions officers develop an accurate impression of you. While college essay examples can provide inspiration, be cautious not to mimic their tone, writing style, or format too closely. 🗒️

Shape your essay with your unique voice and personal beliefs , as it’s a portrayal of who you are. 

Say you’re writing about a volunteering experience. Instead of providing a generic overview of your tasks, delve into a specific moment that profoundly impacted you. Share your thoughts, emotions, and reflections during that moment — instead of merely stating the facts. 🥰

Maintain your individual style and draw from your experiences. As long as you remain polite and grammatically correct, you can write similarly to how you speak.

Consider that humor may not always translate well onto paper , and admissions officers may not share your comedic sensibilities. Be mindful of this as you craft your essay. 🛑

Rule of thumb: if you have to ask whether something is appropriate, it probably is not.

7. Stay Focused on Your Message

When writing a college essay, remember that every word counts . You only have several hundred words to make an impact on the admissions committee, so use them wisely.

Stay on topic, and don’t add anything that distracts from the overall message . By including unnecessary details, you risk confusing the reader or losing their interest altogether. So stick to your outline, and make sure every word is supporting your main arguments. ✅

As you approach the final paragraphs of your essay, aim to leave a lasting impression on your reader . Your conclusion is the last opportunity to reinforce the key points and emotions you want to convey. 👌

Instead of merely summarizing your main points, consider leaving your audience with a thought-provoking insight, a reflective question, or a powerful statement that echoes the essay’s theme. 

This will ensure that your essay lingers in the minds of the admissions committee, leaving them with a powerful and memorable takeaway. 🤯

Crafting a college essay masterpiece takes time, so don’t rush it in one go . Put your draft on hold and give it a day or two before diving back in.

This break can help you catch grammatical slip-ups and evaluate if your essay conveys the message you intend. Ask yourself: Is it gripping? Is the structure solid? Does it truly reflect me? 🤔

Colleges use your essay to understand you and your writing prowess, so offer them your finest work — avoid submitting your initial draft .

Getting a second pair of eyes on your essay is a must for top-notch results. Ask a family member, friend, or favorite teacher for feedback. Fresh perspectives can catch mistakes and make your essay even better in ways you might not have thought of! 🚀

✔️ Write About What’s Important To You 

Build your narrative around impactful moments in your life. When you focus on authentic experiences, your essay becomes more genuine and easier to compose.

✔️ Don’t Waste the Reader’s Time 

Make sure your work gets to the point swiftly and stays on-topic.  

✔️ Balance Your Tone With Your Audience in Mind 

It’s essential to come across as authentic but don’t drown your essay with too much sarcasm, humor, or cynicism. Consider your audience — is this the tone you would want to use if you spoke to them in person?

✔️ Omit Unnecessary Words To Improve Readability

When a sentence works without that added adjective or phrase, you might not need it. Brevity provides clarity. It also makes your words more impactful.

✔️ Show, Don’t Tell 

Your essay will be more memorable if you use descriptive language to help immerse your reader rather than simply describing what happened. Instead of saying, “I was excited,” talk about how you felt the uncontrollable urge to smile as you received good news. 

✔️ Avoid Repeating Achievements Already Found on Your Resume 

Your college essay should show your personal qualities, such as leadership, willingness to take risks, individual growth, teamwork, and anything else that’s not already in your application.

✔️ You Don’t Always Have To Use the Thesaurus 

Use language that sounds natural and conveys your message clearly and directly. Don’t assume that big words will make for a better essay. The more complex your wording is, the greater risk that your message could get buried.  

✔️ Highlight the Positives but Leave Your Ego Behind 

Draw attention to your strengths and all the good you’ve done but be careful not to brag or put anyone down.

✔️ Give Yourself Time To Write 

Start early so that you have time to work on multiple drafts before the deadline. Try online study tools to help you set manageable targets and increase productivity. Good writing takes time, so plan for it .

Your grades and test scores are important for college, but your college essay is your chance to shine beyond the numbers and show who you really are. 🌟

Don’t stress if you aren’t a high school superstar. What colleges really want is someone who can make an impact on their campus and community; the straight As can come later. 

So, focus on your strengths in your essay , and you might just charm even the most selective schools! 💯

How long should my college essay be?

Aim for an essay between 250 to 650 words , depending on the prompt and college’s guidelines. Exceeding the limit can make your essay seem disorganized and affect your chances of admission. Edit for brevity and clarity, focusing on conveying your message effectively.

What topics should I avoid in my college essay?

Avoid cliché essay topics like listing volunteer experiences or sports injuries. Admissions officers have seen these countless times. Instead, focus on a specific, meaningful experience that shaped you or led you to a new passion. 

For example, think about a transformative and memorable trip or a tough school project that really changed you or had a big impact on who you are. Your essay should be authentic and reflect your unique character.

What makes a college essay stand out?

A standout college essay is genuine, with a unique topic and an engaging start that captivates the reader. Make sure your essay is well-organized and includes specific details. 

Talk about how you’ve changed and learned from your experiences. Let your personality shine through , keep it short and sweet, and check for any mistakes. Also, explain why you’re a good match for the college you’re applying to.

What is the proper way to write a college essay?

To write an impactful college essay, choose a meaningful topic, develop a clear thesis, craft a captivating introduction, use vivid details, demonstrate personal growth, connect to the college’s values, and proofread rigorously. Seek feedback and revise to strengthen your essay’s impact.

What is a good format for a college essay?

A good college essay typically follows a five-paragraph structure with a captivating introduction, well-developed body paragraphs, and a memorable conclusion. Use standard formatting, proofread carefully, and tailor your essay to each college , highlighting how you fit with each college’s values and offerings.

How do you start off a college essay?

You can begin with an engaging anecdote, a thought-provoking question, an impactful quote, a surprising fact, or a personal reflection that relates to your essay’s theme. Alternatively, setting a vivid scene, presenting a clear thesis statement, or incorporating a touch of humor, if suitable, can also create an engaging start.

How should college essays be structured? 

A well-structured college essay should follow a standard five-paragraph format : a captivating introduction, informative body paragraphs, and a memorable conclusion. 

How does the affirmative action ruling change college essays? 

The affirmative action ruling has shifted the focus of college essays to individuality, character, authenticity, and cultural contributions. Applicants should highlight unique experiences, personal growth, and contributions to diversity.

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• College Life

How to Write a Killer Opening to Your College Essay

Whether you’re still brainstorming topics for your college essay or personal statement, or completing your final draft, you know your essay needs to stand out from the crowd. You know you need to “get creative,” but it is so hard to know what a college wants to see.

While the school you are applying to also has access to your list of activities and transcript, your essay is their only chance to get to know your personality. Your personality and life experiences matter to your future college because they are a good indicator of whether you would be a good fit on their campus. Colleges ask for a “personal” statement for a reason.

The introduction paragraph of your essay sets the tone for the rest of the essay. So while the topic of your essay or personal statement needs to show depth and provide insight into the person behind the application, the introduction lays the blueprints for the reader on what to expect. So, get creative (we’ll explain what that really means!), skip the cheese, and write from the heart.

Make Creativity the Key

Your opening line should show creativity, but without being cheesy. Something like: “Laughter, much like time, can heal most wounds…” or, “The stage lights flooded my senses, blocking out my vision and the laughter of the crowd before me…” instantly makes the reader want to read further and see where this essay will take you. The reader immediately has questions. Is the author sick? Will the rest of the essay be funny or sad? This particular essay was written by a pre-med hopeful who enjoyed writing stand-up comedy on the side. Her essay shared information about her future career plans, while also inviting admissions professionals to catch a glimpse of her personal life outside the classroom, allowing them to feel like they know her well after reading her essay. If this same student had begun her essay with, “Life is like a box of chocolates,” to indicate her unique interests, the tone would be set with a trite, less authentic opening.

Create an Air of Mystery

Have you ever been so invested in a book that you secretly read the last page? It’s human nature to be attracted to a bit of drama. Riveting, mysterious opening lines keep the reader alert throughout the rest of your essay, as they try to anticipate the curve balls your essay may throw. Don’t be afraid to leave readers hanging for a moment with your first scene, as long as you provide the answers in a timely manner. Here are some examples:

“My hands shook as I realized my mistake.” This essay describes a student who makes a mistake in a laboratory that leads him to a new discovery. By beginning with this story, he is able to talk about his internship in a science lab, as well as end the essay with his experience having his discovery published in a medical journal, hitting two major points on his resume.

“The texture of yarn beneath my fingers reminded me of childhood stuffed animals.” This essay tells the story of a girl teaching herself to knit to connect with her grandmother, and eventually begins crocheting hats, scarves and toys for homeless and foster children. Readers are invited to know the author personally, in addition to expanding on one of her resume entries.

Paint a Picture

Every article containing advice about the Personal Statement agrees: Don’t tell your reader what you did, show them. Paint a picture for them. After an attention-grabbing opening line that leaves the reader wondering what comes next, the rest of your introduction needs to tell a story.

For example: “I turned to the young boy, pausing as his eyes brimmed with tears of frustration, before explaining my new plan of action to help him understand,” is much better than: “The summer before senior year, I tutored an elementary student in math and learned a lot about myself.”

The more detail you add, the more invested the reader will become. Remember, the college is admitting YOU, not just your resume.

Act Natural

A great beginning exercise is to make an outline with the essay prompts, whether these are the Common Application essay choices or the prompts found on the college’s admissions page. Try to answer each essay prompt with three essay topics. Start writing, and see which one flows the best and resonates with your creativity. With the right topic, the opening line will sound natural and the rest of the essay will flow easily.

If you are truly struggling with the voice or organization of your essay, try reading sample essays. While you are reading these essays, write down opening lines and sentences you feel are truly effective or clever. With a page of these inspiring sentences in front of you, try to rewrite your essay using these techniques and try a variety of opening lines.

Take the Bird’s Eye View

Take it from someone (me!) who sat in one of those admissions seats: It is truly essential that your essay be memorable, beginning with the opening line.

I remember the lengthy days of reading admissions files, often reviewing dozens of essays each day. Most of them sounded like copies of one another. Others I still remember to this day, despite reading at least a dozen essays before them that day. Read your opening line and full essay through the eyes of a potential admissions official who has read 20 essays before yours. Does your essay still stand out? Would it catch your attention at the end of a long day of reading essays?

If you can answer yes to these questions, you’re headed in the right direction.

Author: Michaela Schieffer

Michaela Schieffer is a former admissions counselor and now independent college counselor, guiding students through their college applications and essays through MoonPrep.com . Moon Prep's specialty lies in the Ivy League, direct medical programs (BS/MD), and highly competitive universities.

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College Admissions , College Essays

The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got in—college essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.

In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!

What Excellent College Essays Have in Common

Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.

Visible Signs of Planning

Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.

Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.

Stellar Execution

A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for it—check out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!

A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichés, include your own offbeat observations—anything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.

Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafus—each of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.

And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.

Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!

Links to Full College Essay Examples

Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.

Common App Essay Samples

Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:

1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?

7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.

Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts. 

Connecticut college.

• 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025

Hamilton College

• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
• 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
• 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007

Johns Hopkins

These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).

• 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
• 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
• 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
• 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
• 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
• 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020

Essay Examples Published by Other Websites

• 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia

Other Sample College Essays

Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.

Babson College

• 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020

Emory University

• 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
• 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out

University of Georgia

• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2019
• 1 “strong essay” sample from 2018
• 10 Harvard essays from 2023
• 10 Harvard essays from 2022
• 10 Harvard essays from 2021
• 10 Harvard essays from 2020
• 10 Harvard essays from 2019
• 10 Harvard essays from 2018
• 6 essays from admitted MIT students

Smith College

• 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018

Books of College Essays

If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.

College Essays That Made a Difference —This detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.

50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard Crimson—A must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .

50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly Tanabe—For essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.

Heavenly Essays by Janine W. Robinson—This collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.

Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked

I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.

Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)

I had never broken into a car before.

We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.

Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.

"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"

"Why me?" I thought.

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.

Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.

But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.

Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.

Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.

What Makes This Essay Tick?

It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!

An Opening Line That Draws You In

In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).

Great, Detailed Opening Story

More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.

It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hanger—he "jiggles" it.

Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"—a description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.

Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight

Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.

Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."

Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims

My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing—all meant my house was functioning normally.

"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of things—violence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.

Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice

My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skill—you know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.

Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."

The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictness—since he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.

An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future

But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"

The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.

This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.

What Could This Essay Do Even Better?

Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"—just "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?

Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.

Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.

Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.

Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.

I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.

In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).

I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.

A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.

It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.

Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.

One Clear Governing Metaphor

This essay is ultimately about two things: Renner’s dreams and future career goals, and Renner’s philosophy on goal-setting and achieving one’s dreams.

But instead of listing off all the amazing things they’ve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:

This lighthearted–but relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (“finding the goldbug”) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goals–working in nanomedicine–the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” is reflected in Renner’s experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.

Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to “find the goldbug,” or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transform…and that’s okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of “finding the goldbug” to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:

While the earlier parts of the essay convey Renner’s core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Renner’s insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.

An Engaging, Individual Voice

This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.

Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essay—you could never mistake one writer for the other).

My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.

I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.

Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You don’t want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how you’ve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.

Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come across…so it’s important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!

For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:

Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.

Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Renner’s story. It’s clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.

Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.

Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.

In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when it’s time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.

The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial “aha” moments when it’s most important…which is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.

Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.

Connecting the research experiences to the theme of “finding the goldbug.”  The essay begins and ends with Renner’s connection to the idea of “finding the goldbug.” And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essay’s intro and conclusion, it isn’t entirely clear what Renner’s big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Renner’s big takeaways (or “goldbugs”) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.

Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Renner’s dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Renner’s “real goldbug” of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Renner’s goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicine–and perhaps what put them on to this field of study–would help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.

4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay

How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.

#1: Get Help From the Experts

Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings .  If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with  PrepScholar’s Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale.  If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .

#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own

As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:

• Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
• Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
• Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
• Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?

Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.

#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment

All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.

Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.

#4: Start Early, Revise Often

Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.

Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!

For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .

What's Next?

Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.

Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .

Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .

The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.

Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.

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Episode 5: Writing a Killer College Application Essay

December 14, 2020

At schools like Bucknell that receive thousands of applications every year, there's a good chance some applicants will have similar grades, academic rigor and extracurricular involvement.

But there's a place where applicants can stand out — something guaranteed to be found in their application and no other. We're talking about the college essay — an applicant's best opportunity to show colleges who they are.

Writing a great college application essay doesn't have to be an intimidating process.

In this episode of College Admissions Insider , brought to you by Bucknell University, Brooke Thames and Bryan Wendell share proven tips to help students craft a killer college application essay.

Our guest is Josh Wilkinson, Bucknell's associate director of admissions for communications and an application reader, meaning he gets to see hundreds of student essays every year.

If you have a question, comment or idea for a future episode, email [email protected] .

Episode 5 Transcript

Episode 5 transcript plus icon (large).

[00:00:07] BW: Welcome to College Admissions Insider, the podcast where we talk to real college admissions counselors to bring you expert advice for your college search. I'm Bryan Wendell from Bucknell University.

[00:00:16] BT: And I'm Brooke Thames, also from Bucknell University. Our goal is to cut through all the fluff to give you everything you need to start continue or complete your college search.

[00:00:25] BW: Now, Brooke, as you know…Bucknell, we get about 10,000 applications each year. And with that many there's a decent chance that a few of these applicants are going to have similar grades, academic rigor, and extracurricular involvement.

[00:00:39] BT: Right, right. That's very true, Bryan. But in all of that overlap there is one place where all applicants can stand out. There's one thing that's guaranteed to be singular on every single application.

[00:00:51] BW: Yeah, yeah, that's right. And we're talking about the college essay, which is really an applicant's best opportunity to show colleges who they are. It's kind of a chance to color outside the lines a little and add your own personal touch to what otherwise might be a black and white application.

[00:01:06] BT: Absolutely no pressure there. But, I mean, it doesn't have to be an intimidating process with a little bit of help and some useful advice, which is why we are here with our best tips on how you can put your individual and unique stamp on your application through that essay.

[00:01:21] BW: Right, and we brought in an expert to help us out. We have Josh Wilkinson, who is the associate director of admissions for communications at Bucknell University. And importantly, he's also an application reader, meaning he gets to see hundreds of student essays every year. Hey, Josh, welcome to the podcast.

[00:01:38] JW: Hi. Thanks so much Bryan and Brooke for having me. It's a pleasure.

[00:01:41] BT: Yeah. We're so excited to have you here to chat with us about this because the essay is one of the biggest things students are going to have to tackle as they're doing their applications. And, I mean, high school students are pretty used to writing essays but may not be as experienced in terms of writing about themselves. And so yeah, what is the difference between writing, say, a five page analysis of the Great Gatsby or something like that for an English class and writing a 500 word essay about yourself for college?

[00:02:08] JW: Yeah, absolutely. So I think the biggest difference and honestly a hangout for some people is that you get to pick the topic. So it is rather open-ended in that sense. There are several examples of questions for you to pick from, and some are relatively open-ended. And so, at the end of the day, the source material isn't something like the Great Gatsby. The American masterpiece that we're looking at is going to be you, right? The college applicant. You're the one who we want to know about, and that may seem kind of counterintuitive to a student who might have been trained to talk more academically and not so much about their own personal experience. But it's going to be your chance to tell us about yourself on the application. As Bryan put, kind of coloring outside the lines of the application a little bit.

But another key difference is going to be I think the audience for your essay. You're not going to be writing for just one teacher, but a number of application reviewers. Sometimes your essay will be read by more than one person at one university. And, of course, every university that you're going to be applying to will be seeing it. And the audience that you're going to be writing for has very limited time, unfortunately, to read the essays. And sometimes I know for me, that might mean that I read 50 essays in a day. So you'll definitely be writing for an audience whose time is definitely precious. And so I think it's just something to consider, for sure, at that high level.

[00:03:24] BW: Yeah. So that's a little bit about the who — who you're writing for…which you write completely different from a normal high school essay. But let's also talk about when. And I'm interested in the timing. So if a student is, let's say, applying for a school where the application is due by January 15, when should that student be starting on the essay process?

[00:03:45] JW: Yeah, absolutely. I mean that's a tough question to answer because I think it could be different for a lot of people. But for me, ideally you'll have a few months to work on this. And that may seem like overkill for something that's only a page long, but you want to give yourself the time to iterate on the essay and to give your proofreader some time to give you feedback. And so a good proofreader would be your high school counselor. They tend to be very busy people sometimes, and they might not be able to turn around feedback within a week. And so you want to give them time to give you the feedback, but then also give yourself time to work on that feedback. And that might mean that you iterate on the same essay sometimes. If you end up getting frustrated or you get some good feedback that kind of gives you inspiration, you might even decide to write about something else that would be a good essay or a better essay than the one you had before.

In fact, I'm kind of speaking from experience there. I actually had that happen to me where I wrote an essay and I worked on it for months and then something happened in my life within that span that was a much better topic for the essay. As I'm sure we all know now in 2020, a lot can happen to you in a few months. And so it kind of gives you some time and some leeway, and it's not something that you want to wait until the last minute and have to phone in, because for some colleges like Bucknell, we spend a lot of time reading those essays and paying special attention to it.

[00:05:05] BT: Yeah, making sure you have enough time to get feedback. Yeah, that's especially good point — especially since, I mean, students could likely end up having multiple drafts or hopefully multiple drafts. You always want to kind of give it room to breathe and go back. But even, yeah, multiple iterations of the same essay. But before students can even get there to writing the essay, they have to pick a prompt, right? The Common App has seven different essay prompts and then the Coalition App has five. And so how do you suggest students go about selecting which prompt they'll write to? And do they have a better chance of being admitted by choosing one kind of prompt over another?

[00:05:39] JW: Yeah, that's a great question. I guess what I would suggest is that you look at each question. You pick one or maybe a few that's personal to you that points you to a story of yourself that's inspiring or excites you to write about. Because I know me, and if I'm bored writing about it, then chances are the person reading it is going to be bored. And so you don't want to pick something that you think the colleges want to hear about. You want to pick something that you may be passionate about. Because you'll be surprised that when you write about a topic — or maybe you won't be surprised to hear this — but if you're passionate about it, that tends to come out in the writing. You tend to have an easier time writing those stories that you care about and that mean a lot to you. And ultimately us as reviewers, that's what we want to see come out of your essay, is what does matter to you. What makes you tick? And so that's very important, is finding something, some personal connection to the questions and not just picking something that you think is the right question. Pick something that's right for you.

As far as your second part of the question, we don't tier the questions or prefer specific ones. The ones that we prefer students choose are the ones that you can answer effectively. And so don't pick one, as I mentioned before, that you think is just like, “Oh, this is the best thing.” I think the question about overcoming a hardship is a common example. You might think, “Oh, this is the one that everyone wants to hear about.” But you may not have a good answer to that question. You may not have a hardship that you've experienced or a hurdle that you've had to overcome. And so don't pick that one. That's totally fine to pick something that gives you a chance to tell us what's unique about you and not something that you kind of wish you could talk about.

[00:07:19] BW: That's great advice. So once the questions have been narrowed down —maybe you haven't selected the exact prompt you w ant to use, but you've picked maybe two or three finalists, we could call them — then it's on to brainstorming. And really anybody who's ever written anything knows that's not something that you can always plan to fit in a tiny box where you just say, “Okay, today I'm going to figure out my college essay. Find the perfect antidote. Do all the brainstorming. Tomorrow I'm going to start writing.” So how do you suggest students start that process of collecting ideas for the essay?

[00:07:51] JW: Yeah, that's a good question. So I think…And I mentioned it a little bit earlier that you might want to pick a few questions that might seem to be good options for you. So maybe you pick two or three questions that you could see yourself writing about or maybe that stand out to you and then compile a list for each one and say like, “Okay, what are different ways that I can answer this one question?” And list those out. I know that helps me instead of it just sitting in my brain and maybe picking the first thing comes to mind, think about different ways that you could be answering each question because the answer might surprise you. It might be something that's off the beaten trail a little bit, which is great, but it might not be a common story. And I think that's the other thing I would advise students is to avoid maybe the common stories or the ones that could be seen as being a cliché. Because again, think about your audience. We're reviewing many essays a day. And so if five or ten of them are very similar story…and this does happen. We'll get five different essays in one day that talk about, say, a sports injury or something like that — a very common thing that happens to people. It obviously could be an important thing that happens to you. But if five other people are writing about it out of 50, then that might be one that you want to avoid and you might want to pick something else on your list. And so if you have other things on that list that you come up with that aren't as common and maybe more unique to you, I think that might help you brainstorm kind of in the right direction.

[00:09:13] BT: Yeah. So when it comes to you know choosing a good anecdote or story to infuse into the essay especially when, like you said, some of those stories across applications can be kind of the same. How can students, you know, really make their story stand out? And I mean you mentioned how difficult it can be sometimes to answer questions like “What's a hardship that you have gone through?” And if you haven't yet…how can students kind of pick stories and anecdotes to answer some of those difficult questions?

[00:09:38] JW: I think the best advice I can think of — and it kind of makes me smile a little bit — is to unlimit yourself. Don't place arbitrary limits on yourself because the key is that it has a personal connection to you, and it may be something really mundane that you may not even think is important. So a few examples of this, I've read a great essay about the students relationship with their grandparents and having dinner with them every Friday. That may seem pretty mundane. That maybe is part of your daily, weekly life. But that student was able to flesh out that idea and build connections and like, “Okay, this is why this is important to me. This is why this is important to me. It's impacted me on all these different ways.” Just having Friday night dinner with your grandpa. And so that's an example. It may not seem like an exciting thing, but it obviously had a personal connection to the person who was writing it, and it obviously affected them in a deep level. And it was exciting for us to read because the student cared deeply enough about it and wrote effectively.

So, as I mentioned, something dramatic isn't necessary. Hardships aren't necessary. We want to hear about you. And it sounds kind of like a cheesy cliché, but it's true. We want to know about you, what you care about, what makes you tick. And some of my favorite examples are sort of a little off the wall. I had an applicant who wrote an essay about her love of the keytar. And my first reaction was disbelief. This person is writing about what, in my mind, might be the lamest instrument there is. And then I was amazed because not only did she write about a keytar and her love of the keytar but she owned it. And she related the guitar to basically all aspects of her life. And her personality really shone in it, and I just could not wait to see her come to campus when I was done reading it. And it just seems like the most unobvious example. And I think if, again, I come back to the idea of replacing limitations because I think I would have put a limit on myself and like, “I can't write about this. This is silly.” But the student cared about it and she wrote about it and it was amazing. And so I think that's how you would, I guess, make that connection and what you want to write about.

[00:11:47] BT: Yeah. It sounds like that note of what you said earlier, that as the passion comes through in writing, the personal also comes through in the writing. And being as personal and specific as possible, yeah, it's really effective.

[00:11:57] BW: Yeah. So you can really choose any topic as long as it's got that connection and it speaks to you, whether it's a keytar or Friday night dinner. I also want to read another example that ties in perfectly to your point. So this is from a recent Bucknell applicant. I'll just read the first three sentences of an essay that, Josh, you and the admissions team were kind enough to share the anonymous essay. Anonymous to me I should say, not anonymous to you guys. All right, here it is: “One of the things I most enjoyed about my first three years of high school actually occurred each day before school. At 6:57 a.m., my mom and I embarked on our daily drive to the bus stop. We fine-tuned the logistics to a near science.” So that's just three sentences. That's the introduction though and, to me, just reading it, that really catches my eye from the start. So my question is how important is the beginning? And as an application reader, Josh, what makes a great essay beginning?

[00:12:50] JW: Yeah. I mean, like other types of writing, the first sentence really should draw in the reader. And then the example that you read is a perfect example of that. It stokes my curiosity right away. The student is talking about a favorite thing of school, but what stokes my curiosity about it is that it didn't actually happen at school. It happened sort of before anything at school happened. And so it makes me curious to find out more about it. And so it's just good storytelling. And really at the end of the day, that's what you're doing, is telling a good story on the essay. And ultimately as well, the sentences are clear and concise, and I could easily follow them — because sometimes it's difficult to go from point A to point B on an essay. The last thing you want to have happen is the reader get about halfway down and think okay, “Who, are we talking about? When did this happen?” And sometimes events get out of order. This was easy to follow and drew me in.

[00:13:44] BW: Or they go for death by thesaurus, right? Where you can tell that they thought a word wasn't fancy sounding enough, and so they just like right click on it and pick the first long word that's in the list there.

[00:13:56] JW: Yeah. It's never a good day when I have to stop and define something in Google when I'm reading an essay, which it can happen if the topic is something scientific and absolutely makes sense. I wouldn't know what it was. But you're absolutely right. If you're just trying to pick the most complex words possible. Really, we want clarity over complexity.

[00:14:15] BT: Yeah, yeah. It happens to the best of us though. I'm not going to say that I haven't been there before. But yeah, good advice not to overdo the thesaurus search. And so as students get down to writing, when it comes to doing that first draft, should they put it directly into the Common App or the Coalition App, or should they write something on Google Docs or Microsoft Word first, or pen and paper?

[00:14:38] JW: That's a great question, and I would say it's personal preference. The one thing I will say is you don't want to write your first draft in the Common App or Coalition App. It's just a kind of a blank box. You want to use something with spellcheck at least at some point. Certainly, if writing something down on a piece of paper is best for your rough draft, I think that's absolutely fine. But once you get into a word processor of some kind, I think as long as you get to that point, then you'll be fine. Because the spellcheck and, for me especially, the grammar check sometimes helps. It helps you pick up things that you may not notice, but definitely don't rely too heavily on the spell check and grammar check because then that's where the proofreaders come in, because obviously it doesn't check out everything. It doesn't pick out every error. And then for me too, something that autosaves, which is most things now — but just making sure that you can just close it out and not lose progress is really helpful. Somehow, it still happens every once in a while where I may use something cloud-based where something happens. I didn't do exactly what I was supposed to do, and I lose what I wrote. And that's always the most, I think, demoralizing thing that could possibly happen to a writer. It makes you not want to try again. And so definitely make it something safe that you can use that autosaves with that spellcheck.

And you also want to be careful pasting into the Common App. One thing that we see a lot is it'll just be a big block of text. And I think what happens sometimes is they had it beautifully formatted maybe in Word; they hit Control+C and then Control+V, or whatever it is you do; and pasted it right into the block, and it just ended up being a big hideous block of text, and it's hard to read. And so, if you do end up pasting in there, make sure you break up out the paragraphs because it really makes it a lot easier on us to be able to read it.

[00:16:22] BT: Yeah. And curious, do you recommend that students, as they do multiple drafts, do they save each iteration of what they're doing? I know for me sometimes when I'm writing something it's helpful to have all these different drafts in case I decide I want to go back and change it back to what it was or kind of track some changes.

[00:16:38] JW: That's a good question. So a lot of programs like Google Docs will track that automatically for you, so you can always backtrack. I would recommend doing that if you might take a left turn somewhere. And so say you're writing about something and then you get some feedback like, “Actually I want you to sound a little bit, I don't know, more playful about this.” You're like, “Okay. Well, this is kind of a tone change. Maybe I'll make a new version, see how it reads, and compare the two.” And so if you're making some kind of a big change like that, maybe it's useful to have different versions and then, like I said, vet it with other people. See how they read. And maybe end up picking one over the other, or maybe wanting to go back to how you originally did it. Yeah, that's a great question.

[00:17:16] BW: I'm glad you mentioned pasting into the Common App and Coalition App because I know when I paste into any type of form, not only will it strip out the paragraphs but it might strip out italics. So if you've italicized a title or something, or if you've used bold. I don't know why you necessarily would, but it might strip out all that formatting. So you definitely want to go back and proofread that. Speaking of proofreading, you shouldn't be the only one who sees the essay before sending it off, right? So how do you recommend students find the perfect proofreader or proofreaders? And can you actually send it to too many people and make it death by committee?

[00:17:55] JW: Oh, there could always be too many cooks in the kitchen, Bryan. Yeah, so I don't know what the magic number would be. But for me, a few trusted allies would be ideal. And so if that's two, or I think at least two or three, to me, would be ideal. At least your high school counselor — that person, obviously, that's their job. They're there to guide you — it’s why they're called guidance counselors — to a strong essay. And so they see many of them, and they can kind of tell you the perspective of what different colleges are looking for as well. I think somebody like an English teacher would be great, or if you have a strong relationship with a different teacher in a different subject that you know is a strong writer maybe in social studies, history, something like that. Somebody who you trust to be able to give you a good feedback. I would avoid people that can't be objective such as parents because they…I mean, theoretically, they like you, right? And so they're going to always give you different feedback, and also they might not be the best choice because they're not the experts in college writing lists or, say, an admissions counselor, or they work at a university. So they could be a good choice for you in some instances.

But the other thing that I see sometimes is that the parent might be more influential. The last thing we want to do is read an essay that sounds like a 45-year-old lawyer and not the 16- [or] 17-year-old student. We can definitely tell when some input is almost like rewriting portions of the essay. So whoever you choose, you want to make sure that you're maintaining your voice and that you are writing as a 17-year-old college applicant and not an adult. Of course, everyone's voice is a little bit different, so some people write differently. But you definitely want to avoid whoever it is that's proofreading your piece to rewriting whole sections kind of wholesale, and you kind of just almost having your piece rewritten by that person.

[00:19:44] BT: Yeah, maintaining voice, super important. I know that sometimes when I write things and I'll go to certain people for advice. Yeah, they'll kind of give me some advice. I definitely have to say I would never say it like that. And so talking about some of these essay prompts a little bit more, some prompts might inspire students to take a strong stance on a controversial topic or something that they feel very like passionate and fiery about. Is that an okay thing to do? Should students be concerned about sharing certain viewpoints that might be different from the person who was reading their essay?

[00:20:18] JW: Yes, it’s a very tricky question to answer. But at the end of the day, these controversial topics are controversial partially because they're very personal to people, and that people care very deeply about them, as they should. But you definitely want to tread carefully. And so I would say you can write about controversial topics as long as you do it the right way. You don't want to make any assumptions about your audience about the reader, right? You want to be careful. You want to be respectful. Assume the audience that you're writing for doesn't necessarily agree with you. And make it personal to you and not just sort of saying, “Okay, I'm going to write about this certain ideology or perspective of the story.” Make it clear why it's important to you because, at the end of the day, even about these controversial topics, we want to see what it means to you and how it's a driving force in your life and not just read about something that's happening in the news.

And to me, those are some of the most inspiring essays I've read, are the ones that are obviously the topic is sort of hot-button now, whatever it is. And so I can relate to it just because it's going on. But then I'm seeing this a student that might be inspired to act. And so if they're taking it to the next level and they're not just sort of, I don't know, complaining about something, but they're saying, “Because of this happened, or because I care so deeply about this issue, I've taken this to the next level. And I've decided to start this nonprofit, or I've decided to start this initiative to help the poor or whatever it might be.” Those are the most exciting essays to read sometimes because we're seeing young people making a big difference in a big way.

And I know for schools like ours, like that's something that we really cherish in a student. And so, yeah, at the end of the day, don't shy away from those topics if they are important and personal to you. But be careful and respectful, and just assume that the person may or may not agree with you.

[00:22:06] BW: So the hot button issues themselves aren't cause to just completely trash an idea, but are there things that applicants should avoid when writing an essay?

[00:22:15] JW: Oh, yes. So there are a few things that…I mean, I think I noted something earlier when we were talking about using a thesaurus. And so anything that would trip up the reader. And so the last thing you want them to do is to stop and kind of have to think about it or reread it three times. And so complex sentence structures can do that. Bigger words than are necessary can do that. If you're writing it like it's an academic essay and it's not particularly engaging, that's something that you'll want to avoid. Because it's not an academic essay, it's a personal essay. And so you should write it as such.

Another example of that are excessive use of quotations. I think a good quote every once in a while is okay. But one of the things that really trips me up right away is if the essay starts with a quote, and it starts with a quote that I've already heard from Martin Luther King Jr., or from Dwight Eisenhower, or Abraham Lincoln, or the big players. Gandhi is another very popular one. I hear a lot from Gandhi during the application season. These quotes are great, but it's not the most exciting way to start an application. It's not very personal to start out with a quote like that. So you just have to be careful around it. I have seen them used in good ways, but you just have to be careful when using them.

And I kind of touched upon before, clichés. Things that are just not very unique and that are heard many, many times in college essays. And so, I mean, every college counselor you talk to will have a different list. For me, I already mentioned one, which is the sports injury. It's like, “Oh, I injured myself in a football game and this is what I learned.” Or, Bryan, you might relate to this one, but the boy scout trip to…Where is it they go? New Mexico. I already forgot.

[00:24:00] BW: Yeah. Yeah there's a ranch in New Mexico, Philmont Scout Ranch.

[00:24:03] JW: Yeah, so I've read about that many times. It's a very important trip for those people. And then any service trip as well where you do a service trip and, “Oh wow! I went down to this community and I thought I was going to make this big impact, and it end up impacting me as more than I expected.” That's a very common story. So just be careful that it's not something that is black and white. But you want to pick something that isn't that common, if that makes sense.

[00:24:32] BT: Yeah, sounds like similar to going back to what you're saying about kind of those smaller personal moments and finding the stories that can be told there are some of the things you should lean towards as opposed to maybe some Gandhi quotes, or some other kind of common things that you'll come across. And speaking of those kind of personal experiences…COVID, everyone is kind of experiencing all of this at the same time. And so should students write about their experiences with COVID on their applications? Or is that something that you're expecting kind of everyone to be doing that, and then it’ll become kind of a cliché thing?

[00:25:04] JW: Yeah, I wish they could see my face when you read that. I'm not sure. We'll see I guess is kind of where at. As soon as all the school closings were happening in the spring, what we started saying to each other was, “Wow! We're going to read a lot about this, aren't we?” And so I don't think it's something that you necessarily have to avoid. But again — and I apologize if I'm repeating myself a little bit — [but] if it's personal and impactful to you, then absolutely, you can write about it. But again, just go in with the understanding that we may be seeing a lot of these. And so it may not be a good option for you because we will be seeing a lot, I'm sure. How many? That's going to be left to be seen. But the example I think for my generation was 9/11, right? Everyone was writing about 9/11. It had a huge impact no matter who you were. And I think this is kind of the new version of that, where no matter who you are, no matter what walk of life you're in, this has impacted you in some way. And that's fine. But at the same time, you have to realize that everyone's in the same boat. And so it's sort of the low-hanging fruit. And so, I would just encourage you to find, if you do write about it, maybe some way that that's made it kind of a unique experience for you.

So I know some students, they've just kind of taken their own passions to the next level. I was just hearing from somebody who really cares about food security, and this whole COVID pandemic has really taken that to the next level for her personally. And so she's done some research, extra research, on food security and food pantries, and a lot of community service because of COVID. So don't just kind of begin and end with the pandemic, but maybe begin with pandemic and end with how you've turned that into something positive, and how you've made that into something that a college would want to see in a student coming into their university.

[00:26:43] BW: Yeah, that's a great point because every applicant had their high school experience interrupted in the same way, but it's what they did with it after that happened. That's great. So Josh, I have to think that in your role, it's kind of an honor to read these essays because these students are inviting you into their lives. And a lot of times, they're admitting their feelings about experiences in ways that are really vulnerable and that they might not even be comfortable talking to a friend about. So I have to think that's quite an honor. But I'd love to hear your take on what makes this so special — what your favorite thing about reading college essays really is.

[00:27:20] JW: Well, Bryan, you use the right word, and that's honor. It really is an honor to read these essays because you're right, I mean, you're really getting something oftentimes that the student hasn't told family members. It'll be something sometimes that they're struggling deeply with or has impacted them in such a huge way that they don't want to talk about, but they're choosing to divulge that information on the college essay. And so it really is an honor and a privilege first and foremost to be a part of that process. And when I tell students about the college essay and what it means to us reviewing them, I always tell them that I'm trying to find the heartbeat of the applicant in the essay because everything else is sort of standardized. It's just a bunch of information kind of thrown together. It's important information, but the essay is really your chance to show who you are a little bit. And it breaks up the monotony of reading applications for us as well. So it's usually the highlight for us when we're reading applications because it's something different every time, hopefully. And not always, but hopefully it's something different every time, and we get to kind of peek behind the curtain a little bit to see what these students are about. And you really get a sense of people through these essays and through the stories that they tell.

And there's many times that we've had to reach…In fact, the only time I keep tissues anywhere near me is when I'm reading essays, just to be honest, because you'll never know when. And you'll know right away sometimes when you're like, “Oh, it's going to be…Uh-oh, this might be a hard one.” Not necessarily for a bad reason, but just heartfelt. And so sometimes you get these heartfelt, heartrending stories, but you just appreciate them all the more because the student has chosen to share them with you.

And so it becomes personal for us as well. We use that word a lot today: personal. But it really is the personal side of the application for us, for us to get invested in you. And for a school like Bucknell, we actually don't have an interview process. So this is kind of your chance to tell us a little bit about yourself that you won't have otherwise, and so definitely take advantage of that.

[00:29:21] BT: Yeah, and I imagine getting to know some of the students who may possibly become part of the Bucknell community is especially special and exciting. Well, thank you so much for joining us. I think you've given students plenty of really awesome advice for tackling these college essays.

[00:29:35] JW: Absolutely. Thank you.

[00:29:37] BW: Yeah, this has been great. And if you enjoyed this episode, we invite you to subscribe, share it with your friends, family, counselors, and keep listening. We're going to be releasing new episodes of College Admissions Insider every other Monday. And each one is going to be just as much like this one as we can, where it's a really deep dive into an important element of the college admissions process.

[00:29:57] BT: And if you have topics or ideas for future episodes, we would love to hear from you at our email address, [email protected] . Or if you're a college admissions officer interested in being a guest on a future episode, it us there too.

[00:30:11] BW: And finally, if you want to learn more about applying to Bucknell, you can do that at bucknell.edu/apply. We've put that link in the show notes. That's where you'll also find a link to a transcript of this episode and a whole lot more resources, including a post on our admissions blog where — if 30 minutes of advice wasn't enough — we have even more advice for writing your college essay.

[00:30:32] BT: But that's it for this episode. Thanks for listening to College Admissions Insider. And we'll see you next time.

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How to Write Your College Essay: The Ultimate Step-by-Step Guide

Getting ready to start your college essay? Your essay is very important to your application — especially if you’re applying to selective colleges.

Become a stronger writer by reviewing your peers’ essays and get your essay reviewed as well for free.

We have regular livestreams during which we walk you through how to write your college essay and review essays live.

College Essay Basics

Just getting started on college essays? This section will guide you through how you should think about your college essays before you start.

• Why do essays matter in the college application process?
• What is a college application theme and how do you come up with one?
• How to format and structure your college essay

Before you move to the next section, make sure you understand:

How a college essay fits into your application

What a strong essay does for your chances

How to create an application theme

Learn the Types of College Essays

Next, let’s make sure you understand the different types of college essays. You’ll most likely be writing a Common App or Coalition App essay, and you can also be asked to write supplemental essays for each school. Each essay has a prompt asking a specific question. Each of these prompts falls into one of a few different types. Understanding the types will help you better answer the prompt and structure your essay.

• How to Write a Personal Statement That Wows Colleges
• Personal Statement Essay Examples
• How to Write a Stellar Extracurricular Activity Essay
• Extracurricular Essay Examples
• Tips for Writing a Diversity College Essay
• Diversity Essay Examples
• Tips for Writing a Standout Community Service Essay
• How to Write the “Why This Major” Essay
• How to Write a “Why This Major” Essay if You’re Undecided
• How to write the “Why This College” Essay
• How to Research a College to Write the “Why This College” Essay
• Why This College Essay Examples
• How to Write The Overcoming Challenges Essay
• Overcoming Challenges Essay Examples

Identify how each prompt fits into an essay type

What each type of essay is really asking of you

How to write each essay effectively

The Common App essay

Almost every student will write a Common App essay, which is why it’s important you get this right.

• How to Write the Common App Essay
• Successful Common App Essay Examples
• 5 Awesome College Essay Topics + Sample Essays
• 11 Cliché College Essay Topics + How to Fix Them

How to choose which Common App prompts to answer

How to write a successful Common App essay

What to avoid to stand out to admissions officers

Supplemental Essay Guides

Many schools, especially competitive ones, will ask you to write one or more supplemental essays. This allows a school to learn more about you and how you might fit into their culture.

These essays are extremely important in standing out. We’ve written guides for all the top schools. Follow the link below to find your school and read last year’s essay guides to give you a sense of the essay prompts. We’ll update these in August when schools release their prompts.

See last year’s supplemental essay guides to get a sense of the prompts for your schools.

Essay brainstorming and composition

Now that you’re starting to write your essay, let’s dive into the writing process. Below you’ll find our top articles on the craft of writing an amazing college essay.

• Where to Begin? 3 Personal Essay Brainstorming Exercises
• Creating the First Draft of Your College Application Essay
• How to Get the Perfect Hook for Your College Essay
• What If I Don’t Have Anything Interesting To Write About In My College Essay?
• 8 Do’s and Don’t for Crafting Your College Essay
• Stuck on Your College Essay? 8 Tips for Overcoming Writer’s Block

Understand how to write a great hook for your essay

Complete the first drafts of your essay

Editing and polishing your essay

Have a first draft ready? See our top editing tips below. Also, you may want to submit your essay to our free Essay Peer Review to get quick feedback and join a community of other students working on their essays.

• 11 Tips for Proofreading and Editing Your College Essay
• Getting Help with Your College Essay
• 5 DIY Tips for Editing Your College Essay
• How Long Should Your College Essay Be?
• Essential Grammar Rules for Your College Apps
• College Essay Checklist: Are You Ready to Submit?

Proofread and edited your essay.

Had someone else look through your essay — we recommend submitting it for a peer review.

Make sure your essay meets all requirements — consider signing up for a free account to view our per-prompt checklists to help you understand when you’re really ready to submit.

Advanced College Essay Techniques

Let’s take it one step further and see how we can make your college essay really stand out! We recommend reading through these posts when you have a draft to work with.

• 10 Guidelines for Highly Readable College Essays
• How to Use Literary Devices to Enhance Your Essay
• How to Develop a Personalized Metaphor for Your College Applications

How to write a killer essay in 3 easy steps

We’ve all been there: staring at a blank document, practically able to feel the creeping imminence of our paper’s deadline. For so many of us, it’s really hard to sit down and actually channel our thoughts into a coherent form, let alone one that’s structured and based on an argument worthy of praise.

Here’s a secret I’ve learned after years and years of battling a working ratio of five minutes of writing for every fifty-five minute YouTube immersion session: it’s easier to think of writing a paper as a series of tasks, of filling out a structured outline, than it is to try to sit down and just write a paper, start to finish. Here’s how I figured out how to break down a paper and flipped that ratio to fifty-five minutes of writing for every five-minute break (or, let’s be real, more like ten).

Start With The Thesis. The Thesis Is Everything.

If you find yourself seriously struggling in the midst of paper-writing, there’s a good chance the issue can be traced back to your thesis. A strong thesis should logically set up the argument you’re making in your paper and the points you’ll use to make it. So let’s review the thesis basics.

What is a thesis statement?

• A thesis expresses an arguable opinion that can be supported by facts.
• A thesis should be presented in your intro paragraph and serve as a map for the rest of the essay .
• A thesis should be SCOD: Specific, Clear, Original, and Debatable

How do I structure a thesis?

• Start with the topic of your thesis. The topic is an aspect of the book or subject about which you’re writing that you found most interesting
• Then make a claim : what is your stance on the topic? What do you think is the deeper meaning that the topic is trying to get at?
• Finally, list the points you will make to support that claim. What aspects of the book or subject led you to believe that claim?

Some examples:

"In Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness , the mysterious landscape of the unexplored jungle represents the darkness of human nature best elaborated through the symbolic uses of fog, the river, and lack of sunlight."

"Gender-based sexual harassment in the service industry leads to female employees experiencing serious psychological, emotional, and physical problems."

The Saving Grace Of Topic Sentences

Once you have your thesis roadmap, you can then write the topic sentence of each of your body paragraphs before you fill out the rest of the essay. The points you make in your thesis translate nicely into those topic sentences.  

So, for example, the thesis “gender-based sexual harassment in the service industry leads to female employees experiencing serious psychological, emotional, and physical problems” quickly leads to topic sentences that focus on those three final points: psychological, emotional, and physical problems. Of course, you’re going to want to flesh those topics out into actual, relatively literary sentences that make their own mini claims that then connect back to the claim you’re making about your topic.

For example:

Psychological problems → The imbalance of power between supervisors , who are disproportionately male, and employees in the service industry, who are disproportionately female often leads to psychological problems for those employees.

Emotional problems → The stress of this power imbalance can often result in unfavorable emotional experiences for female workers on the job.

Physical problems → Another power imbalance female employees face is in the more blatant invasion of their physical space by both their employers and customers, which can lead to unwanted or coercive physical actions .

Now that you have a solid skeleton for your essay, it’s time to give it some muscle. While we may live in a political era in which actual facts are considered overrated by some, you, dear essay writer, are better than that. Unfortunately, there are no shortcuts for this step: You have to actually put in the time to read the book you’re writing about or conduct the research that will allow you to support your claims.

Here are some tips, though, for how to efficiently maximizing your time doing so:

• If your source material or research materials happen to be online, try searching key terms related to your thesis and specific claims. Rather than trying to re-read everything, this can obviously help you narrow in on relevant passages.
• It might feel counter-intuitive, but if you’re struggling to remember a specific reference or example from your source, try taking a step back and clearing your mind. Sometimes going on a walk or closing your eyes can take the pressure off and increase your ability to think a little more organically and creatively.
• This might be more useful for your next paper, but there’s a reason your teachers may have encouraged “active reading” -- like highlighting or taking notes in the margins. This may seem like an unnecessary burden while you’re working through a text, but it can often serve as an incredible shortcut to finding evidence down the line.

And there you have it. The blank doc doesn’t own you — you are its master now. Good luck and happy writing!

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6 Step Guide to Writing a Killer Essay

Written by studytimenz

At high school, particularly here in new zealand, ideas are always assessed in the form of essays..

With so many rules surrounding ‘proper’ essay form, it’s easy for ideas to get lost to the format, or for you to lose sight of what they’re arguing for in the first place.

Sadly, this means that students often can’t get their thoughts across effectively, and are marked down for things that have no bearing on their ideas or intelligence.

However frustrating they might be, research has shown that learning how to compile an argument in written form is a skill that does great things for your grades, employability and general life-confidence.

As a soon-to-be graduate of high school – whatever you choose to do – the importance of strong communication skills cannot be understated.

If you choose to head straight into the workforce, you’ll be expected to demonstrate this skill in your cover letters and CV’s during job applications, and at University, essays are pretty much the stock standard assignment in most courses (otherwise there are always reports, reviews and reflections).

Writing skills will even get you further in your travels: Visas can involve lengthy letters and application processes, and administrators are always impressed by a well-written application.

Considering all the evidence, it’s a smart move to get a good feel for essay writing now – the seeds you plant now will help you out big-time in the long run.

How can I write a good essay then?

Contrary to popular opinion, anyone can write a good essay. It’s a skill, not a trait, and like any other skill, it only improves with practice. The tricky thing is getting your head around all the niggly bits, like structure, and themes, and ideas, and topic sentences, and punctuation, and clarity, blah blah blah, etc. That’s what we’re here for.

This guide will help you to break through the sludge of essay writing and help you to get to the heart of their purpose:  communicating an idea.  We’ll decipher the intimidating jargon and wordy standards for you, and give you solid, smooth steps to follow so you can smash an essay for every topic, any time. The guide will cover:

Deciding on an “idea”

Planning your argument

Essay structure

Introduction

Body paragraphs

Proofreading

THE BIG “IDEA” AND WHY IT MATTERS

The term ‘idea’ in the context of essay-writing causes a lot of confusion – and rightly so – it’s unfairly vague!

Simply put, an idea is the argument you’re making in your essay. While definitions may vary across standards and subjects (“hypothesis”; “argument”; “thesis statement”; “theme” etc.)  your idea is your overarching  claim  that the rest of your essay will  prove  or  justify .

An idea could be anything from “ Romeo and Juliet’s relationship demonstrates the difficulty of defying familial expectations ” to “ The use of guerilla warfare helped the Viet Cong to defeat America in the in the Vietnam war .”

Ideas can be universal, personal, fundamental, controversial or challenging. They don’t necessarily have to be ‘good’ or ‘moral.’ Writing an essay isn’t about agreeing with the message of the text, or the topic you’ve been asked to engage with. Teachers are more concerned with your ability to look at a topic or text critically, interpret it, and relate that interpretation to the outside world in one way or another.

The idea is the spine of your essay. The rest of it will work towards demonstrating  how  and  why  you’re arguing for this claim. So before you start writing an essay, it’s smart to get a firm grip on your idea first.

Brainstorming is a good start. On a piece of paper, jot down all the observations you’ve made about your essay topic. You’ll usually have a question or a demand in the guidelines to narrow things down.  If you can’t think of any ideas, do some extra revision!

Once you’ve done this, try to think of one connection to bind your ideas about the text/topic/event together. Then make it into a statement – e.g: “ In  Bend it Like Beckham , Jesminder’s character explores the tension between cultural expectations and social belonging .” Make sure you’ve got a good amount of supporting points to bolster whatever your claim says.

Pro tips: Don’t overcomplicate it! Fancy wording doesn’t matter. It’s more about the insight of your claim, and showing that you can develop a perceptive opinion on something.

Don’t fall into the trap of the one-word-idea. “Love” is not an idea. Instead, your idea should take the form of a firm statement about love.

If your essay is given to you in the form of a question, think of the idea as an answer to that question.

Example question: “ Should the Hunger Games be considered a feminist text ?”

Idea/claim/argument/thesis: “ Despite The Hunger Games having a female protagonist, the character of Katniss reinforces masculine notions of strength, therefore it should not be considered a feminist text.

Your idea should show some critical thinking. For example: “ The Hunger Games should not be considered a feminist text ” is not a strong enough observation – you need some substance behind it.

If you’re too vague or short with your idea, your supporting evidence will lose structure, and could go on forever. Think about your idea as if you were explaining the main point of your essay to another person.

If you read your idea aloud – ask yourself: Does it make sense? Does it answer the question or fulfill the demand? Does it summarise most of your essay’s argument?

If the answer is no to any of these three questions, refine and try again.

2. GET PLANNING

Essays almost always follow the same linear structure:

• Introduction.
• Body Paragraphs
• Conclusion.

We’ll break down the anatomy behind each element later on – but for now – it’s useful to know how they work together to make an essay. The introduction is the clincher: its job is to contextualise your argument, interest the reader, briefly explain your argument and of course,  introduce the idea . The body paragraphs are the  supporting points to hold up your main idea, with evidence from the text . The conclusion  brings together everything you’ve argued in a neat summary , reinforcing the idea one more time.

Whether you’re writing under time pressure or doing a take-home assignment, it’s important to know (at least in part) where your argument is going to go. Planning is a sure way to do this – and it doesn’t have to be boring. While ‘fluking it’ might work for some people, having no plan makes it easy to get lost in your own train of thought and go off on long tangents. There are loads of different ways to plan, and you should give yourself enough flexibility so that you have the freedom to incorporate new points or ideas as you’re writing.

A great, easy and flexible way to plan is the Box Plan. This plan can be adapted for a range of subjects; it’s a neat and easy visualisation of your essay’s skeleton and key points; and also serves as a great resource for revision – because who wants to spend hours rewriting the same essay over and over?

See the table below for an easy template of the Box Plan. Feel free to print it out, and if you’re feeling extra-motivated for revision, spend some time making it colour co-ordinated or adding some visual doodles to help memorise the content and make things fun.

DIY BOX PLAN

Introduction :

Clearly state your main  IDEA .

What are the  THREE MAIN POINTS  that you will use to support this idea?

Body Paragraph One :

Clearly state the main  POINT  you will discuss in this paragraph.

Record all of the  EVIDENCE  you will use to prove this point.

Connect this evidence back to the  MAIN IDEA  or the  OUTSIDE  world.

Body Paragraph Two :

Body Paragraph Three :

Conclusion :

Clearly state the main  ARGUMENT  you have made or  IDEA  you have explored.

Review how all of your points have supported this  IDEA .

3. ANATOMY OF AN INTRO

There’s lots of advice out there that tells you an introduction is the least important part of an essay, something you can rush over to get to the ‘good stuff’. They’re wrong.

Writing a killer introduction is the magic ticket to an excellent essay. A great intro lays out your ideas concisely and persuasively, and can provide focus and momentum for the rest of the essay. Plus having something concrete to come back to can be really helpful when you’re feeling stuck or lost – and remind you of your overarching argument or idea. Our best advice for nailing the intro is to start broad and then narrow down.

Here’s a quick formula to follow for writing an introduction that’ll blow your teacher out of the water.

Pro tip: Get a hook, start broad and narrow down. Finish on by going SUPER broad (society/the world/the universe) to be extra fancy.

• Hook  (rhetoric question/quotation/exclamation to engage the reader)
• Context  (the boring but important contextual bits like the author/director/poet/setting/title/characters/etc.)
• Idea  (see our first chapter for a definition)
• Brief explanation of how you’ll prove this idea  (whatever points/evidence you’re putting in your body paragraphs)
• For extra points, round up your intro by making a  connection to the outside world  (some profound and relevant moral lesson about society usually works)

Here’s an example of a great introduction for a basic English text analysis essay. Each colour in the paragraph corresponds with the formula above (Hook = purple; Context = red; and so on).

Why do bad things happen to good people? The majority of society believes that there are no logical answers to this question. Terrible things can happen to the best of us, for no particular reason. However, in William Shakespeare’s “King Lear”, the main character, King Lear, who claims to be “a man more sinned against than sinning”, is fully responsible for his own downfall. In fact, the sins committed against King Lear are a result of his personal faults of rashness, blindness, and foolishness. Though a good king, Lear’s actions cause his family and kingdom to fall apart. Furthermore, he is personally punished for disrupting the natural order, with his poor decision-making. King Lear’s downfall demonstrates how good people can still make terrible decisions  – inviting the reader to consider the complex nature of humans, and emphasising the importance of taking responsibility for your own actions.

4. BREAKING DOWN THE BODY PARAGRAPH

The body paragraph makes up the “flesh” of the essay “skeleton” you have at the moment. Three body paragraphs is enough for a strong essay, however you can add as many more as you need to strengthen or fully unpack your overall argument (provided you’re not ranting). It’s important that each body paragraph is sharp and clean, and backed up by some relevant evidence. The point of a paragraph is to indicate a break – so make sure that each paragraph has only ONE predominant focus. If you find yourself going off topic from your original focus, consider making a new self-contained paragraph to explore that idea in full depth.

WHAT’S THE POINT?

Your main point should be introduced at the beginning of your body paragraph, and take form in what the experts call a “topic sentence”. This is similar to your big idea, but it’s a bit more specific. Similarly, it should make some sort of definitive claim about the text or topic, and help to support your main idea. If your main idea is the spine of your essay, your topic sentence is the spine of your body paragraph.

Let’s have a look at F. Scott Fitzgerald’s novel  The Great Gatsby  for some ideas:

Main Essay Idea:

“ Through the use of motifs and symbolism,  The Great Gatsby  explores the disintegration of the American dream in 1920’s America. ”

Point of Body Paragraph 1:

“Geography is used as a motif to illustrate the different classes of the decaying nation, and their clashing social values.”

Point of Body Paragraph 2:

“The distant Green Light is used to symbolise the ideal of the American Dream – relentlessly pursued but never realised up close.”

Focus of Body Paragraph 3:

“The Valley of the Ashes symbolises the moral and social decay of the nation, figured literally by its desolation and pollution, but also by the poor citizens who live there.”

SHOW ME THE EVIDENCE

It’s all very well and good to be able to make big claims – but you have to be able to back them up, otherwise for all we know, you’re just peddling conspiracies.

The evidence is all the stuff you need to show your reader that your argument has some validity to it. The evidence can be a quote, technique, event, plot point, character, excerpt, symbol, motif, etc. – so long as it’s relevant to the point you’re making and taken directly from whatever your essay is about.

Remember that it has to be factually correct too, don’t ever think you can get away with making up a quote! Your marker knows more than you think, and chances are they’ll sense something fishy and look it up.

ROUND IT UP

To finish your body paragraph in style, throw in one or two sentences that link back to the main idea of your essay. Better yet, reflect on something bigger to show your ability engage critically with the world around you. This final element is your chance to give an opinion on something, it can be as abstract or far-fetched as you like, provided your body paragraph is strong enough to support the claim.

Connecting your essay to wider forces in the world shows that you’re thinking about what you’re writing, rather than simply regurgitating content you’ve learned in class.

Markers love this part – especially in NCEA – and it often makes the difference between a Merit and an Excellence essay.

Here’s a quick table showing the anatomy of a body paragraph:

Focus of Body Paragraph One:

“Geography is used as a motif to illustrate the different classes of the decaying nation, and their clashing social values”

“ I lived at West Egg, the – well, the least fashionable of the two, though this is a most superficial tag to express the bizarre and not a little sinister contrast between them[…]Across the courtesy bay the white palaces of fashionable East Egg glittered along the water, and the history of the summer really begins on the evening I drove over there to have dinner with the Tom Buchanans .” (1.14)

Explanation :

This quote from Nick demonstrates how he envisions class distinctions geographically – drawing a literal and figurative contrast between the two sides of the lake and economic status.

Reflection :

The geographic illustration  of class in  The Great Gatsby  mirrors the growing disparity between rich and poor that was taking place in America in the 1920’s.

5. CONCLUSIONS – MAKING A LASTING IMPRESSION

By the time you’ve made it here, you’re probably sick to death of your topic.

At this point, it’s tempting to just spurt out whatever your mind can muster, and hope that the rest of your essay holds you afloat when it comes to marking.

Avoid thinking like this! Your conclusion is the your final chance to leave an impression on your reader.

If anything, it’s a golden opportunity to boost the quality of your essay by tying it all together with a sparkly bow.

This doesn’t mean the conclusion has to be a difficult or particularly long process. All the work is pretty much done for you, now it’s a matter of selecting the most important points to drive home.

At bare minimum, your conclusion must accomplish three things:

• Restate the main idea of your essay.
• Summarize the three points in your body paragraphs.
• Leave the reader with an interesting final thought or impression.

Excellent conclusions will convey a sense of closure while also providing scope for other trains of thought – like an appetizer of a main dish at a different restaurant.

This is a tricky balance to strike, but it makes a world of difference.

6. PROOFREADING – YOUR FINAL SAFETY NET

At this point, after so much energy has been spent dutifully perfecting your work, it’s probably likely that the sentences in your essay are looking less and less like words and more like meaningless drivel on a page.

You might be itching to hand it in so that you can treat yourself to a well-deserved Big Mac Combo and  never ever look at  The Great Gatsby  again in your life.

This is why proofreading is so crucial. When you’ve spent a while writing something, it’s really difficult to pick up on the mistakes you may have made during the process.

You may feel attached to certain parts that took you ages to spit out, when really, they’re unnecessary waffling.

Your mind may have convinced itself that some sentences are elegant masterpieces, but when you get your marks back, you realise they made no sense at all.

We all know too well the shameful feeling of getting an essay back and realising all the obvious errors you failed to pick up on in your frenzied state.

BUT, a great essay riddled with linguistic and grammatical errors will instantly make your ideas seem less valid than they are.

That’s why it’s really important to allow yourself time for proofreading, and even better, for reading it over with fresh eyes.

If you’re writing from home – take a break! Go for a walk, get some food, try a guided meditation, watch an episode of GoT, whatever – but come back to the essay later.

It’s amazing what a short break can do for your detection of mistakes. Even if you’re really strapped for time and you’re pulling an all nighter, go to sleep now and wake-up a bit earlier to proofread.

If you’re writing under pressure in an exam environment, make sure to plan for 5-10 minutes of proofreading. When you’ve finished the writing, go to another question or take a very short breather to clear your mind.

One great way to ensure your essay is pristine for hand-in is to run through this mental checklist for each individual sentence of your essay:

• Read the sentence aloud (or at least in your head). Does it make full sense when you hear it?
• Can it stand in isolation and still hold up as a sentence?
• Does it support the point that you’re making, or is it waffling to fill up space?
• Could it be articulated in a clearer way?
• Do the commas, full-stops and speech-marks “flow” properly when read aloud?
• Does it repeat a point that you’ve already made?
• Does it go on for too long? Could it be split into two separate sentences?
• Does it begin with a capital letter? Does it end with correct punctuation?

Next time you’re assigned an essay for an internal or exam, don’t put it off until the night before and put yourself through a half-hearted, exhausting, unproductive all nighter.

Bookmark this page, breathe, and walk through the guide step-by-step. You might even enjoy the process.

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Back to School Advice for 2022

Navigating life after high school, mocks are over… what now | whh #23, what to do this school holidays (but mostly unrelated banter) | whh season 2 #10, what do you value about school | whh season 2 #9, last minute tips for ncea level 2 biology, how to lift your spirits during covid19 lockdown | whh season 3 #4, how to get excellence in maths, approaching the big decisions: how to think about life after school | whh season 3 #11, why failure is okay.

Failure’s often seen as a bad thing, but sometimes it can actually be good. We share how you can turn failure into success.

Dealing with Multiple Assessments

A crash course for good research, why critical thinking is so important, how to effectively study with a past paper, how to study with past exams, what to do when your goals aren’t going to plan.

College and University Blog

Essay writing strategies - how to write a killer college essay.

When you write, you lay out a line of words. The line of words is a miner’s pick, a wood-carver’s gouge, a surgeon’s probe. You wield it, and it digs a path you follow. Soon you find yourself deep in new territory. Is it a dead end, or have you located the real subject? You will know tomorrow, or this time next year. — Annie Dillard, From The Writing Life . Harper and Row, 1989.

What you write now in your personal statements and essays will determine tomorrow. Don’t stop short of inspiring work. It could help open the door to your dream school.

What does the college want in your essay?

Assess your options for the essay question.

Some colleges and universities provide specific questions to direct your essay writing. You may be asked to offer your views on a particular topic or issue. (“If you could change anything in the world, what would you change and how?” or “Describe an experience that changed you.”) Others leave the essay topic relatively open-ended and personal, allowing you the somewhat daunting task: “Tell us about you .”

Whether you decide to comment on the state of the Union or to recount an inspirational volunteer job, you often have a few essay questions from which to choose. Study the question that feels most comfortable to you and pick it apart to plan your approach.

Get to the heart of the question

You are anxious to write your college essay about that one life-changing moment. How do you fit that experience into an answer to the college’s question? It’s a good idea to look into what is being asked, address the question directly, and elaborate on your answer to their query with some interesting experiences of your own. The questions offered on the application are meant for you to choose in order to let the college get to know you better, so mold the question to you personally. If you discuss the topics that are asked in the question of your choice and describe personal experiences, you can’t go wrong.

Start Rough, Then Refine

Create an outline / rough draft.

First, organize your thoughts around your topic and outline some important points that you plan to stress. Start with a draft that captures your feelings and images, then return to it again and again to make it lucid and refined.

Do not be afraid of change

Elizabeth Bishop worked through multiple drafts for each of her poems, and her revisions filled pages at times. The most inspiring of poets, bards, novelists, and essayists are unafraid to “kill a few of their babies,” as they say in the literary world. All well-written material reaches fluidity through revision and change. Don’t let the raw emotion of your personal statement be the only strength that makes it impressive. Editing for content, making changes, and reorganizing your thoughts will enhance the quality of your writing. Admissions officers will be unimpressed by writing that is anything less than careful and thoughtful.

Pen to paper (or finger to keyboard): The write stuff about you

Have fun with it (but don’t buy into gimmicks).

You are looking for that edge in your essay that will attract the attention of admission officers who have read more essays than they can count. Something about you is unique and outstanding. Enjoy the chance to use your voice creatively, without simply boasting about your good qualities. Let the admissions officers know you by telling a well-written story and completely selling yourself.

One admissions officer at a top college claims that it is the essay that makes or breaks an application in her mind, and if a student has the ability to take over a creative written space with an essay that sticks with her, she’s sold. An applicant who writes succinctly, well, and with a twist impresses her. A student who wrote about his track career and sent his old track shoes attached to the essay did not.

Honesty is the best policy

The old adage is true: write what you know. Don’t be afraid to be honest and to be yourself.

Keep the school in mind

The essay can be a further exploration of why you are right for that particular school and why that school is right for you. In reflecting on who you are right now, you will also be able to look forward to what you wish to become through your experiences at your future school.

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

If something has inspired you to create a piece that really speaks about you, adapt it to fit into various college applications. It’s okay to use one essay for more than one school. After all, the admissions officers at Yale rarely compare specifics with the admissions officers at Berkeley. Some essay topics and questions are flexible enough so that you can tailor your essay to more than one school. You are attracted to these schools for reasons that are personal and specific. The essay is your chance to let them know the things about you that fit with the things you like about them. You are not cheating if you say the same thing about yourself to more than one admissions office.

Don’t forget the finishing touches

Type the essay. Check the spelling. Correct margins and punctuation. Have several readers look it over for you. Sounds like a drill, but neatness and care can’t hurt.

Trust the power of the written word

Let your essay speak for you.

Writing is a powerful tool. Unlike speaking in an interview or filling in boxes on an application, writing a personal statement or answering an essay question allows you to think, plan, and revise an interesting, articulate presentation of yourself. Be as complete as possible and don’t be afraid to take risks by telling your own story. Discussing a personal experience takes strength—the chance to use your voice is a gift; wrap it in language and give it to the college of your choice. They’ll open it carefully and, if they remember it, it is a gift that will bring many happy returns.

Posted on 28 Aug

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College Essay Tips: Engage Your Audience by Writing What You Know

A lot of weight is placed on the college essay. Even though it’s just supposed to be a page or two in length, it counts for as much as your SAT score, although not as much as your grades throughout high school. But if you have lower grades than you know you’re capable of, you can make up for it by writing an amazing college essay. In fact, you can even use this space to explain why your grades are not that great. Or you can use it to draw attention to a certain facet of your personality which might not be obvious from the rest of your application. This is the place where you get to show college officials who you really are.

As this article from USA Today states, “If you had 10 minutes to talk to them in person, what would you say?” This might feel like a lot of pressure. After all, there’s not that much you can tell a person in 10 minutes. Similarly, there’s not that much you can tell them in a couple of pages. So where do you begin? How do you wow them? How do you get them to set your application aside and think, “Yes, that’s the type of candidate we want at our college”? Here are a few college essay tips :

Engage Them

Have you ever come across a piece of writing and gotten totally absorbed in it? It might have happened with your favorite novel, a historical epic or just an article about something that interests you. For some people, that feeling of engagement doesn’t come from books. It might come from watching a baseball game or looking at a great painting.

Everyone’s had this experience at some time or the other. It’s called engagement. It happens when you get so involved in what you’re reading or watching that you forget about everything else. Time seems to go by really quickly and when you finally look at the clock, you’re surprised.

Engagement is the feeling you’re trying to create in your audience. So think about which experiences have made you feel that way and whether you can use them to create a piece of writing that holds your audience spellbound. When it comes to college essay tips, this is a really important one to follow, especially at the beginning of your essay.

Spelling, Grammar and Punctuation

Sometimes, you start reading a book or article and you feel like you’re really getting into the subject matter. However, a typo crops up and unfortunately, it breaks the rhythm of your reading. After that, you might try a great deal to get involved in the topic again but you just can’t seem to do it.

This writer from US News and World Report puts it like this: “I don’t mean just use spell check (that goes without saying). Attend to the other mechanics of good writing, including conventional punctuation in the use of commas, semi-colons, etc. If you are writing about Dickens, don’t say he wrote Wuthering Heights. If you write about Nietzsche, spell his name right.”

Making little mistakes of this sort can break the flow of your essay. One good way to avoid them is by reading your writing out loud when you’re done. This helps many professional writers to correct little mistakes in spelling, grammar and punctuation. So it also deserves its place in college essay tips. Additionally, it’s a good idea to give your essay to someone else to proofread, assuming that they are good writers and will be able to pick out the mistakes you made.

Write What You Know

This might seem like a very hackneyed college essay tip because it’s been handed down from writer to writer since time immemorial. However, that’s only because it’s true! Why write about Nietzsche if you’ve only read snippets of his writing? Instead, you’ll make a bigger impact on your audience if you write about the things that have really touched you and that you know inside out.

For example, if you’ve always been a fan of the children’s writer Enid Blyton and feel like you’ve learned a great deal from her writings, tell your audience about that. If you’ve found yourself more absorbed by one of Agatha Christie’s mystery novels than by all the great modernist writers, then write about her, by all means.

College officials are not looking for someone who has read a lot and already has an education; they’re looking for someone who knows how to think. So if you’ve only read simple books but you’ve learned a great deal from them, this counts for a lot more than superficially reading all the classics of Western literature.

It’s very easy to say, “write well” but it’s actually quite hard to do. You’re willing to put in the time and effort but there’s no map for you to follow. And different people give you different college essay tips. Sometimes, you write something that you think is really good. But other people might hate it. On the other hand, you might write something that you think is very simple. Yet others might love it.

Often, however, the problem is that we don’t sit down to consult ourselves about what we really think. We judge our writing on the basis of what others have told us. An English teacher might have drilled into your head that Charles Dickens was a great writer. This is, no doubt, true. But that doesn’t mean that you have to write like him. There are many other great writers out there and your style might be similar to theirs. Or it might be something completely unique, although that’s hard to find.

What you need to do is set out to write well. Put a tremendous amount of effort into it. And don’t settle. Write as many drafts as needed until you think that you’ve come up with a piece of writing that’s outstanding. Everyone recognizes quality. So if you send in a college essay that you believe is exceptional, you greatly increase the chances of other people thinking so as well.

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College Info Geek

How to Write a Killer Research Paper (Even If You Hate Writing)

C.I.G. is supported in part by its readers. If you buy through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission. Read more here.

Research papers.

Unless you’re a weirdo like me, you probably dread them. When I was in college, depending on the class, I even dreaded these.

It’s the sort of project that can leave even the most organized student quaking in their boots, staring at the assignment like they’re Luke Skywalker and it’s the Death Star.

You have to pick a broad topic, do some in-depth research, hone in on a research question, and then present your answer to that question in an interesting way. Oh, and you have to use citations, too.

How on earth are you supposed to tackle this thing?

Fear not, for even the Death Star had weaknesses. With a well-devised plan, some courage, and maybe a little help from a few midichlorians, you can conquer your research paper, too.

Let’s get started.

1. Pick a Topic

And pick one that interests you. This is not up for debate.

You and this topic are going to be spending a lot of time together, so you might as well pick something you like, or, at the very least, have a vague interest in. Even if you hate the class, there’s probably at least one topic that you’re curious about.

Maybe you want to write about “mental health in high schools” for your paper in your education class. That’s a good start, but take a couple steps to hone your idea a little further so you have an idea of what to research. Here’s a couple of factors to look at when you want to get more specific:

• Timeframe : What are the most important mental health issues for high schoolers that have come up in the last five years?
• Location : How does the mental health of students in your area compare to students in the next state (or country) over?
• Culture or Group : How does the mental health of inner-city students compare to those in the suburbs or places like Silicon Valley?
• Solution : If schools were to make one change to high schools to improve the well-being of their students, what would be most effective, and why?

It’s good to be clear about what you’re researching, but make sure you don’t box yourself into a corner. Try to avoid being too local (if the area is a small town, for example), or too recent, as there may not be enough research conducted to support an entire paper on the subject.

Also, avoid super analytical or technical topics that you think you’ll have a hard time writing about (unless that’s the assignment…then jump right into all the technicalities you want).

You’ll probably need to do some background research and possibly brainstorm with your professor before you can identify a topic that’s specialized enough for your paper.

At the very least, skim the Encyclopedia Britannica section on your general area of interest. Your professor is another resource: use them! They’re probably more than happy to point you in the direction of a possible research topic.

Of course, this is going to be highly dependent on your class and the criteria set forth by your professor, so make sure you read your assignment and understand what it’s asking for. If you feel the assignment is unclear, don’t go any further without talking to your professor about it.

2. Create a Clear Thesis Statement

Say it with me: a research paper without a thesis question or statement is just a fancy book report.

All research papers fall under three general categories: analytical, expository, or argumentative.

• Analytical papers present an analysis of information (effects of stress on the human brain)
• Expository papers seek to explain something (Julius Caesar’s rise to power)
• Argumentative papers are trying to prove a point (Dumbledore shouldn’t be running a school for children).

So figure out what sort of paper you’d like to write, and then come up with a viable thesis statement or question.

Maybe it starts out looking like this:

• Julius Caesar’s rise to power was affected by three major factors.

Ok, not bad. You could probably write a paper based on this. But it’s not great , either. It’s not specific, neither is it arguable . You’re not really entering any sort of discussion.

Maybe you rework it a little to be more specific and you get:

• Julius Caesar’s quick rise to power was a direct result of a power vacuum and social instability created by years of war and internal political corruption.

Better. Now you can actually think about researching it.

Every good thesis statement has three important qualities: it’s focused , it picks a side , and it can be backed up with research .

If you’re missing any of these qualities, you’re gonna have a bad time. Avoid vague modifier words like “positive” and “negative.” Instead use precise, strong language to formulate your argument.

Take this thesis statement for example:

• “ High schools should stop assigning so much homework, because it has a negative impact on students’ lives.”

Sure, it’s arguable…but only sort of . It’s pretty vague. We don’t really know what is meant by “negative”, other than “generically bad”. Before you get into the research, you have to define your argument a little more.

Revised Version:

• “ High schools in the United States should assign less homework, as lower workloads improve students’ sleep, stress levels, and, surprisingly, their grades.”

When in doubt, always look at your thesis and ask, “Is this arguable?”  Is there something you need to prove ? If not, then your thesis probably isn’t strong enough. If yes, then as long as you can actually prove it with your research, you’re golden.

Good thesis statements give you a clear goal. You know exactly what you’re looking for, and you know exactly where you’re going with the paper. Try to be as specific and clear as possible. That makes the next step a lot easier:

3. Hit the Books

So you have your thesis, you know what you’re looking for. It’s time to actually go out and do some real research. By real research, I mean more than a quick internet search or a quick skim through some weak secondary or tertiary sources.

If you’ve chosen a thesis you’re a little unsteady on, a preliminary skim through Google is fine, but make sure you go the extra mile. Some professors will even have a list of required resources (e.g. “Three academic articles, two books, one interview…etc).

It’s a good idea to start by heading to the library and asking your local librarian for help (they’re usually so excited to help you find things!).

Check your school library for research papers and books on the topic. Look for primary sources, such as journals, personal records, or contemporary newspaper articles when you can find them.

As you’re starting your research, create some kind of system for filing helpful quotes, links, and other sources. I preferred it to all be on one text document on my computer, but you could try a physical file, too.

In this text document, I start compiling a list of all the sources I’m using. It tends to look like this:

Remember that at this point, your thesis isn’t solid. It’s still in a semi-squishy state. If your research starts to strongly contradict your thesis, then come up with a new thesis, revise, and keep on compiling quotes.

The more support you can find, the better. Depending on how long your paper is, you should have 3-10 different sources, with all sorts of quotes between them.

Here are some good places to look for reputable sources:

• Google Scholar
• Sites ending in .edu, .org, or .gov. While it’s not a rule, these sites tend to represent organizations, and they are more likely to be reputable than your run-of-the-mill .com sites
• Your school library. It should have a section for articles and newspapers as well as books
• Your school’s free academic database
• Online encyclopedias like Britannica
• Online almanacs and other databases

As you read, analyze your sources closely, and take good notes . Jot down general observations, questions, and answers to those questions when you find them. Once you have a sizable stack of research notes, it’s time to start organizing your paper.

4. Write an Outline

Even if you normally feel confident writing a paper without one, use an outline when you’re working on a research paper.

Outlines basically do all the heavy lifting for you when it comes to writing. They keep you organized and on track. Even if you feel tempted to just jump in and brain-dump, resist. You’ll thank me later.

Here’s how to structure an outline:

You’ll notice it’s fairly concise, and it has three major parts: the introduction , the body , and the conclusion . Also notice that I haven’t bothered to organize my research too much.

I’ve just dumped all the relevant citations under the headings I think they’ll end up under, so I can put in my quotes from my research document later as they fit into the overall text.

Let’s get a little more in-depth with this:

The Introduction

The introduction is made up of two main parts: the thesis and the introduction to the supporting points. This is where you essentially tell your reader exactly what sort of wild ride they’re in for if they read on.

It’s all about preparing your reader’s mind to start thinking about your argument or question before you even really get started.

Present your thesis and your supporting points clearly and concisely. It should be no longer than a paragraph or two. Keep it simple and easy to read.

Body Paragraphs

Okay, now that you’ve made your point, it’s time to prove it. This is where your body paragraphs come in. The length of this is entirely dependent on the criteria set by your professor, so keep that in mind.

However, as a rule, you should have at least three supporting points to help defend, prove, or explain your thesis. Put your weakest point first, and your strongest point last.

This doesn’t need a lot of outlining. Basically, take your introduction outline and copy it over. Your conclusion should be about a paragraph long, and it should summarize your main points and restate your thesis.

There’s also another key component to this outline example that I haven’t touched on yet:

Research and Annotations

Some people like to write first, and annotate later. Personally, I like to get my quotes and annotations in right at the start of the writing process.

I find the rest of the paper goes more smoothly, and it’s easier to ensure that I’ve compiled enough support for my claim. That way, I don’t go through all the work of writing the paper, only to discover that my thesis doesn’t actually hold any water!

As a general rule, it’s good to have at least 3-5 sources for every supporting point. Whenever you make a claim in your paper, you should support it with evidence.

Some professors are laxer on this, and some are more stringent. Make sure you understand your assignment requirements really, really, really well. You don’t want to get marked down for missing the correct number of sources!

At this stage, you should also be sure of what sort of format your professor is looking for (APA, MLA, etc.) , as this will save you a lot of headache later.

When I was in college, some professors wanted in-text parenthetical citations whenever I made a claim or used my research at all. Others only wanted citations at the end of a paragraph. And others didn’t mind in-text citations at all, so long as you had a bibliography at the end of your entire paper.

So, go through your outline and start inserting your quotes and citations now. Count them up. If you need more, then add them. If you think you have enough (read: your claims are so supported that even Voldemort himself couldn’t scare them), then move on to the next step:

5. Write the First Draft

Time to type this thing up. If you created a strong enough outline, this should be a breeze. Most of it should already be written for you. All you have to do at this point is fill it in. You’ve successfully avoided the initial blank-screen panic .

Don’t worry too much about grammar or prose quality at this point. It’s the rough draft, and it’s not supposed to see the light of day.

I find it helpful to highlight direct quotes, summaries, paraphrases, and claims as I put them in. This helps me ensure that I never forget to cite any of them.

So, do what you’ve gotta do . Go to a studious place or create one , put on an awesome playlist, close your social media apps, and get the work done.

Once you’ve gotten the gist of your paper down, the real work begins:

6. Revise Your Draft

Okay, now that you’ve word-vomited everywhere in a semi-organized fashion, it’s time to start building this thing into a cohesive paper. If you took the time to outline properly, then this part shouldn’t be too difficult.

Every paper has two editing stages:the developmental edit , and the line edit.

The developmental edit (the first one, at least) is for your eyes only. This is the part where you take a long, hard look at your paper and ask yourself, “Does this make sense, and does it accomplish what I want it to accomplish?” If it does, then great. If it doesn’t, then how can you rearrange or change it so that it does?

Here are a few good questions to ask yourself at this stage:

• Is the paper well-organized, and does it have a logical flow of thought from paragraph to paragraph?
• Does your thesis hold up to the three criteria listed earlier? Is it well supported by your research and arguments?
• Have you checked that all your sources are properly cited?
• How repetitive is the paper? Can you get rid of superlative points or language to tighten up your argument?

Once you’ve run the paper through this process at least once, it’s time for the line edit . This is the part where you check for punctuation, spelling, and grammar errors.

It helps to let your paper sit overnight, and then read it out loud to yourself, or the cat, or have a friend read it. Often, our brains know what we “meant” to say, and it’s difficult for us to catch small grammatical or spelling errors.

Here are a couple more final questions to ask yourself before you call it a day:

• Have you avoided filler words , adverbs , and passive voice as much as possible?
• Have you checked for proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation? Spell-checker software is pretty adept these days, but it still isn’t perfect.

If you need help editing your paper, and your regular software just isn’t cutting it, Grammarly is a good app for Windows, Mac, iOS, and Chrome that goes above and beyond your run-of-the-mill spell-checker. It looks for things like sentence structure and length, as well as accidental plagiarism and passive tense.

7. Organize Your Sources

The paper’s written, but it’s not over. You’ve still got to create the very last page: the “works cited” or bibliography page.

Now, this page works a little differently depending on what style your professor has asked you to use, and it can get pretty confusing, as different types of sources are formatted completely differently.

The most important thing to ensure here is that every single source, whether big or small, is on this page before you turn your paper in. If you forget to cite something, or don’t cite it properly, you run the risk of plagiarism.

I got through college by using a couple of different tools to format it for me. Here are some absolute life-savers:

• EasyBib – I literally used this tool all throughout college to format my citations for me, it does all the heavy lifting for you, and it’s free .
• Microsoft Word – I honestly never touched Microsoft Word throughout my college years, but it actually has a tool that will create citations and bibliographies for you, so it’s worth using if you have it on your computer.

Onwards: One Step at a Time

I leave you with this parting advice:

Once you understand the method, research papers really aren’t as difficult as they seem. Sure, there’s a lot to do, but don’t be daunted. Just take it step by step, piece by piece, and give yourself plenty of time. Take frequent breaks, stay organized, and never, ever, ever forget to cite your sources. You can do this!

Looking for tools to make the writing process easier? Check out our list of the best writing apps .

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College Application Hacked: Part 1. The Essay: How to write a killer personal statement in which no pet dies Kindle Edition

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How To Write A Killer College Essay For The College Admission You Deserve

Yale Public Health Grad '14, Health & Wellness Advocate, Social Media Aficionado, Writer, Editor, Artist, Entrepreneur, Yoga Addict, Renaissance Woman.

This post was co-written with Sushma Sharma of Konversai .

This article originally appeared on Konversai .

Working on your college essay might be overwhelming, but it can also be one of the most fun parts of the college application process. While the majority of your application consists of numbers, statistics, and scores, those aspects of your application do not by any means define you. Your college essay is your opportunity to define yourself and to show the admissions committee who you are and what you're all about. Even if your grades and your test scores aren't quite where you want them to be, you can use your college essay to show the admissions committee who you are beyond your application file and make a great first impression.

The guidelines below will help you write an essay that you're proud of and that will likely turn some heads in the admissions committee. If you are planning on applying to graduate school, you can use these same guidelines for your graduate school statement of purpose as well

This exercise will help you clarify your thinking about who you are and what your priorities are in life. Set aside 90 minutes when you absolutely will not be disturbed. Ideally, this exercise is done with a pen and paper. However, if you wish to use your laptop, it is imperative that you disconnect from the Internet during these 90 minutes to ensure that you won't be distracted.

Write 100 questions that come to mind about anything and everything without taking a break and without worrying about repetition. There are no rules about the kind of questions that may occur to you. Your questions could include Why is the sky blue? Why did I sabotage myself? Who am I meant to be? Why do I like ice cream more than most people? Don't censor yourself or hold yourself back in any way. Just keep writing. Once you finish 100, keep going until the 90 minutes are up. Store your pages in a safe place. Now take a break for at least one day. Remember that the results of this exercise are confidential and you are entitled to write whatever occurs to you.

Set aside 60 uninterrupted minutes for this activity. Review your 100+ questions and sort them into categories. Take separate pages and organize your questions that belong together in the same category. Name these categories intuitively, for example, Math, Alcohol, Friends, and College. Again, there are no rules. You can categorize as you see fit. You should end up with 10-20 categories. Take another break of at least a day.

3) The 90-Minute Self-Appreciation Exercise

For each category, make a list of all the positive things you can think of about yourself. Make 5-10 points below each category. Examples could include your high marks in math, your altruism, your curiosity, or anything else that you see as a strength. Don't worry about coming across as "bragging," as this exercise in honest self-evaluation is just for you. Reflecting upon all of your positive qualities will put you in a positive mindset and give you the confidence you need to tackle the rest of the exercises and to write that stellar college essay. Take another break of at least a day

4) The 90-Minute Hard-Look Exercise

Now for each category, make a list of all the challenges you face as you think about yourself. Make 5-10 points below each category. Perhaps your struggles in learning a new language, your disagreement with a classmate about a school project, or how frustrating it was when your team lost a basketball game. As difficult as it is to reflect on our challenges or shortcomings, some of our best life lessons come from these reflections, which can give you gold for your essay content. Take another break of at least a day.

5) Twenty Paragraphs About Yourself

Write out 20 paragraphs on the categories you came up with and give them a positive slant while being realistic about yourself and your challenges. This is your chance to show off your mettle. Include stories, anecdotes, challenges, and achievements from your life. Add some of your favorite quotes. Think vertically and horizontally. You have now created a unique database of who you are, which will help inform your essay and make it personal like nothing else will. Part of what makes writing a college essay so exciting is that it's your chance to set yourself apart. Most of the other applicants will likely have similar grades and test scores to you, but you also have something unique to share that the other applicants will not. Start thinking about what it is that makes you stand out. What are you passionate about? What are your hobbies? What's an experience that you've had in life that has taught you something valuable? None of these will be reflected in your grades or your test scores, but they can definitely be the basis for your essay. What do you want the admissions committee to know about you that they won't be able to find elsewhere?

Reach out to and meet with your trusted advisor(s). These could include parents, teachers, counselors, or friends. The only rules here are that you must be certain that your trusted advisor(s) have nothing but your best interest at heart and are literate enough to understand how adults think. Show this person or people your 20 paragraphs and ask them to critique them. Have them help you refine your message and find your voice.

Many colleges use the Common Application , which allows you to use the same main statement of purpose for multiple colleges while answering different supplemental questions for each one.

Even those colleges that do not use the Common Application usually have similar essay prompts. While it is acceptable and common to use the same content across multiple applications, make sure you read the directions carefully. Sometimes you might have to cater your content to the specific school. Keep in mind also that different schools might have different word or character limits for essays and supplemental questions, so make sure you read the instructions carefully and follow them to a T.

8)The Great Rewrite

After marinating in the wisdom you got from your trusted advisors, rewrite your essay in your own voice. Write as you would talk: with dignity, with confidence, with a bit of humor, and a bit of swagger. Show the reader who you really are. At this stage, let the ideas flow and don't hold anything back. Imagine that you're writing a letter to a friend sharing your experience. Remember that you're telling the admissions committee a story about you. How would you tell a friend the same story to make them feel like they were there? You definitely want to draw the reader in with an engaging anecdote and with concrete examples to support your claims, but the key is to make sure that your voice is represented throughout the essay. The admissions committee wants to get to know you. Not your parents, not your teachers, not your college counselors, but you. So be yourself and let your passion and excitement for whatever you're writing about shine through. Be honest. Your college essay should not merely repeat what's already on your resume or in your application, but it should not contradict the rest of your application either. Also remember that college admissions committees do background checks and will look at your social media accounts, and you don't want to give them any reason to believe that anything in your statement of purpose is untrue. Whatever experiences and interests you have are valuable, so don't feel like you have to fabricate or embellish your story to make yourself sound more interesting. This defeats the purpose of the personal statement.

9) Get More Feedback

Now that you've written an unfiltered first draft, it is the time to start editing. Make sure that what you've written falls within the guidelines of what's expected by the college. Share your draft with your parents, teachers, college counselors, or anyone else whose feedback you value. Ask them for constructive feedback on the content and structure of your essay.

Take all the feedback you have received into account, but don't lose yourself. Make sure that your voice is still preserved. Your essay should not have any spelling or grammatical errors, as this shows the admissions committee that you did not put your best effort into writing your essay.

That is not the impression you want to give. At this point, those same people you asked for feedback should also look for spelling and grammatical errors and correct them as necessary, but they must explicitly agree not to give substantive comments. Having as many people as you respect and trust review your essays as possible is a good idea because not only does this give you ample feedback to work with, but having as many pairs of eyes as possible ensures that no errors go unnoticed.

Use writing your personal essay not as another opportunity to fret about the stressful college application process, but rather as an opportunity to be creative, to reflect on your life experiences thus far, and to express yourself and get your story on paper. For more college essay writing tips and tricks, you can join Konversai --a knowledge-sharing platform that allows for live video conversations with people about topics that are meaningful to both of you. As a college applicant, you can use Konversai to connect with a current college student or anyone else who can give you advice on writing your essay or provide you with feedback on an essay draft. Konversai encourages users to be both providers and seekers of knowledge on as many topics as you wish. So once you have the stress of college applications out of the way, you can also create a provider listing for whatever you wrote your essay about. Knowledge providers have the option of charging for their time, so you can save up a bit before heading off to college. Start the adventure today with Konversai!

Sushma Sharma is Konversai's Founder and CEO. She has degrees in law from Columbia University and University of Oxford. She was the Admissions In-Charge for a post-graduate law program at City University of Hong Kong, during which time she reviewed hundreds of applications each year for 6 years.

Pavita Singh is the Content Writer at Konversai. She is a recent graduate of Yale University, where she obtained her Master of Public Health in Social & Behavioral Sciences. She did her undergraduate degree at New York University, where she studied Gender & Sexuality Studies, Linguistics, and Child & Adolescent Mental Health.

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Guest Essay

The Troubling Trend in Teenage Sex

By Peggy Orenstein

Ms. Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

Debby Herbenick is one of the foremost researchers on American sexual behavior. The director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University and the author of the pointedly titled book “Yes, Your Kid,” she usually shares her data, no matter how explicit, without judgment. So I was surprised by how concerned she seemed when we checked in on Zoom recently: “I haven’t often felt so strongly about getting research out there,” she told me. “But this is lifesaving.”

For the past four years, Dr. Herbenick has been tracking the rapid rise of “rough sex” among college students, particularly sexual strangulation, or what is colloquially referred to as choking. Nearly two-thirds of women in her most recent campus-representative survey of 5,000 students at an anonymized “major Midwestern university” said a partner had choked them during sex (one-third in their most recent encounter). The rate of those women who said they were between the ages 12 and 17 the first time that happened had shot up to 40 percent from one in four.

As someone who’s been writing for well over a decade about young people’s attitudes and early experience with sex in all its forms, I’d also begun clocking this phenomenon. I was initially startled in early 2020 when, during a post-talk Q. and A. at an independent high school, a 16-year-old girl asked, “How come boys all want to choke you?” In a different class, a 15-year-old boy wanted to know, “Why do girls all want to be choked?” They do? Not long after, a college sophomore (and longtime interview subject) contacted me after her roommate came home in tears because a hookup partner, without warning, had put both hands on her throat and squeezed.

I started to ask more, and the stories piled up. Another sophomore confided that she enjoyed being choked by her boyfriend, though it was important for a partner to be “properly educated” — pressing on the sides of the neck, for example, rather than the trachea. (Note: There is no safe way to strangle someone.) A male freshman said “girls expected” to be choked and, even though he didn’t want to do it, refusing would make him seem like a “simp.” And a senior in high school was angry that her friends called her “vanilla” when she complained that her boyfriend had choked her.

Sexual strangulation, nearly always of women in heterosexual pornography, has long been a staple on free sites, those default sources of sex ed for teens . As with anything else, repeat exposure can render the once appalling appealing. It’s not uncommon for behaviors to be normalized in porn, move within a few years to mainstream media, then, in what may become a feedback loop, be adopted in the bedroom or the dorm room.

Choking, Dr. Herbenick said, seems to have made that first leap in a 2008 episode of Showtime’s “Californication,” where it was still depicted as outré, then accelerated after the success of “Fifty Shades of Grey.” By 2019, when a high school girl was choked in the pilot of HBO’s “Euphoria,” it was standard fare. A young woman was choked in the opener of “The Idol” (again on HBO and also, like “Euphoria,” created by Sam Levinson; what’s with him ?). Ali Wong plays the proclivity for laughs in a Netflix special, and it’s a punchline in Tina Fey’s new “Mean Girls.” The chorus of Jack Harlow’s “Lovin On Me,” which topped Billboard’s Hot 100 chart for six nonconsecutive weeks this winter and has been viewed over 99 million times on YouTube, starts with, “I’m vanilla, baby, I’ll choke you, but I ain’t no killer, baby.” How-to articles abound on the internet, and social media algorithms feed young people (but typically not their unsuspecting parents) hundreds of #chokemedaddy memes along with memes that mock — even celebrate — the potential for hurting or killing female partners.

I’m not here to kink-shame (or anything-shame). And, anyway, many experienced BDSM practitioners discourage choking, believing it to be too dangerous. There are still relatively few studies on the subject, and most have been done by Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues. Reports among adolescents are now trickling out from the United Kingdom , Australia , Iceland , New Zealand and Italy .

Twenty years ago, sexual asphyxiation appears to have been unusual among any demographic, let alone young people who were new to sex and iffy at communication. That’s changed radically in a short time, with health consequences that parents, educators, medical professionals, sexual consent advocates and teens themselves urgently need to understand.

Sexual trends can spread quickly on campus and, to an extent, in every direction. But, at least among straight kids, I’ve sometimes noticed a pattern: Those that involve basic physical gratification — like receiving oral sex in hookups — tend to favor men. Those that might entail pain or submission, like choking, are generally more for women.

So, while undergrads of all genders and sexualities in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys report both choking and being choked, straight and bisexual young women are far more likely to have been the subjects of the behavior; the gap widens with greater occurrences. (In a separate study , Dr. Herbenick and her colleagues found the behavior repeated across the United States, particularly for adults under 40, and not just among college students.) Alcohol may well be involved, and while the act is often engaged in with a steady partner, a quarter of young women said partners they’d had sex with on the day they’d met also choked them.

Either way, most say that their partners never or only sometimes asked before grabbing their necks. For many, there had been moments when they couldn’t breathe or speak, compromising the ability to withdraw consent, if they’d given it. No wonder that, in a separate study by Dr. Herbenick, choking was among the most frequently listed sex acts young women said had scared them, reporting that it sometimes made them worry whether they’d survive.

Among girls and women I’ve spoken with, many did not want or like to be sexually strangled, though in an otherwise desired encounter they didn’t name it as assault . Still, a sizable number were enthusiastic; they requested it. It is exciting to feel so vulnerable, a college junior explained. The power dynamic turns her on; oxygen deprivation to the brain can trigger euphoria.

That same young woman, incidentally, had never climaxed with a partner: While the prevalence of choking has skyrocketed, rates of orgasm among young women have not increased, nor has the “orgasm gap” disappeared among heterosexual couples. “It indicates they’re not doing other things to enhance female arousal or pleasure,” Dr. Herbenick said.

When, for instance, she asked one male student who said he choked his partner whether he’d ever tried using a vibrator instead, he recoiled. “Why would I do that?” he asked.

Perhaps, she responded, because it would be more likely to produce orgasm without risking, you know, death.

In my interviews, college students have seen male orgasm as a given; women’s is nice if it happens, but certainly not expected or necessarily prioritized (by either partner). It makes sense, then, that fulfillment would be less the motivator for choking than appearing adventurous or kinky. Such performances don’t always feel good.

“Personally, my hypothesis is that this is one of the reasons young people are delaying or having less sex,” Dr. Herbenick said. “Because it’s uncomfortable and weird and scary. At times some of them literally think someone is assaulting them but they don’t know. Those are the only sexual experiences for some people. And it’s not just once they’ve gotten naked. They’ll say things like, ‘I’ve only tried to make out with someone once because he started choking and hitting me.’”

Keisuke Kawata, a neuroscientist at Indiana University’s School of Public Health, was one of the first researchers to sound the alarm on how the cumulative, seemingly inconsequential, sub-concussive hits football players sustain (as opposed to the occasional hard blow) were key to triggering C.T.E., the degenerative brain disease. He’s a good judge of serious threats to the brain. In response to Dr. Herbenick’s work, he’s turning his attention to sexual strangulation. “I see a similarity” to C.T.E., he told me, “though the mechanism of injury is very different.” In this case, it is oxygen-blocking pressure to the throat, frequently in light, repeated bursts of a few seconds each.

Strangulation — sexual or otherwise — often leaves few visible marks and can be easily overlooked as a cause of death. Those whose experiences are nonlethal rarely seek medical attention, because any injuries seem minor: Young women Dr. Herbenick studied mostly reported lightheadedness, headaches, neck pain, temporary loss of coordination and ear ringing. The symptoms resolve, and all seems well. But, as with those N.F.L. players, the true effects are silent, potentially not showing up for days, weeks, even years.

According to the American Academy of Neurology, restricting blood flow to the brain, even briefly, can cause permanent injury, including stroke and cognitive impairment. In M.R.I.s conducted by Dr. Kawata and his colleagues (including Dr. Herbenick, who is a co-author of his papers on strangulation), undergraduate women who have been repeatedly choked show a reduction in cortical folding in the brain compared with a never-choked control group. They also showed widespread cortical thickening, an inflammation response that is associated with elevated risk of later-onset mental illness. In completing simple memory tasks, their brains had to work far harder than the control group, recruiting from more regions to achieve the same level of accuracy.

The hemispheres in the choked group’s brains, too, were badly skewed, with the right side hyperactive and the left underperforming. A similar imbalance is associated with mood disorders — and indeed in Dr. Herbenick’s surveys girls and women who had been choked were more likely than others (or choked men) to have experienced overwhelming anxiety, as well as sadness and loneliness, with the effect more pronounced as the incidence rose: Women who had experienced more than five instances of choking were two and a half times as likely as those who had never been choked to say they had been so depressed within the previous 30 days they couldn’t function. Whether girls and women with mental health challenges are more likely to seek out (or be subjected to) choking, choking causes mood disorders, or some combination of the two is still unclear. But hypoxia, or oxygen deprivation — judging by what research has shown about other types of traumatic brain injury — could be a contributing factor. Given the soaring rates of depression and anxiety among young women, that warrants concern.

Now consider that every year Dr. Herbenick has done her survey, the number of females reporting extreme effects from strangulation (neck swelling, loss of consciousness, losing control of urinary function) has crept up. Among those who’ve been choked, the rate of becoming what students call “cloudy” — close to passing out, but not crossing the line — is now one in five, a huge proportion. All of this indicates partners are pressing on necks longer and harder.

The physical, cognitive and psychological impacts of sexual choking are disturbing. So is the idea that at a time when women’s social, economic, educational and political power are in ascent (even if some of those rights may be in jeopardy), when #MeToo has made progress against harassment and assault, there has been the popularization of a sex act that can damage our brains, impair intellectual functioning, undermine mental health, even kill us. Nonfatal strangulation, one of the most significant indicators that a man will murder his female partner (strangulation is also one of the most common methods used for doing so), has somehow been eroticized and made consensual, at least consensual enough. Yet, the outcomes are largely the same: Women’s brains and bodies don’t distinguish whether they are being harmed out of hate or out of love.

By now I’m guessing that parents are curled under their chairs in a fetal position. Or perhaps thinking, “No, not my kid!” (see: title of Dr. Herbenick’s book above, which, by the way, contains an entire chapter on how to talk to your teen about “rough sex”).

I get it. It’s scary stuff. Dr. Herbenick is worried; I am, too. And we are hardly some anti-sex, wait-till-marriage crusaders. But I don’t think our only option is to wring our hands over what young people are doing.

Parents should take a beat and consider how they might give their children relevant information in a way that they can hear it. Maybe reiterate that they want them to have a pleasurable sex life — you have already said that, right? — and also want them to be safe. Tell them that misinformation about certain practices, including choking, is rampant, that in reality it has grave health consequences. Plus, whether or not a partner initially requested it, if things go wrong, you’re generally criminally on the hook.

Dr. Herbenick suggests reminding them that there are other, lower-risk ways to be exploratory or adventurous if that is what they are after, but it would be wisest to delay any “rough sex” until they are older and more skilled at communicating. She offers language when negotiating with a new partner, such as, “By the way, I’m not comfortable with” — choking, or other escalating behaviors such as name-calling, spitting and genital slapping — “so please don’t do it/don’t ask me to do it to you.” They could also add what they are into and want to do together.

I’d like to point high school health teachers to evidence-based porn literacy curricula, but I realize that incorporating such lessons into their classrooms could cost them their jobs. Shafia Zaloom, a lecturer at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, recommends, if that’s the case, grounding discussions in mainstream and social media. There are plenty of opportunities. “You can use it to deconstruct gender norms, power dynamics in relationships, ‘performative’ trends that don’t represent most people’s healthy behaviors,” she said, “especially depictions of people putting pressure on someone’s neck or chest.”

I also know that pediatricians, like other adults, struggle when talking to adolescents about sex (the typical conversation, if it happens, lasts 40 seconds). Then again, they already caution younger children to use a helmet when they ride a bike (because heads and necks are delicate!); they can mention that teens might hear about things people do in sexual situations, including choking, then explain the impact on brain health and why such behavior is best avoided. They should emphasize that if, for any reason — a fall, a sports mishap or anything else — a young person develops symptoms of head trauma, they should come in immediately, no judgment, for help in healing.

The role and responsibility of the entertainment industry is a tangled knot: Media reflects behavior but also drives it, either expanding possibilities or increasing risks. There is precedent for accountability. The European Union now requires age verification on the world’s largest porn sites (in ways that preserve user privacy, whatever that means on the internet); that discussion, unsurprisingly, had been politicized here. Social media platforms have already been pushed to ban content promoting eating disorders, self-harm and suicide — they should likewise be pressured to ban content promoting choking. Traditional formats can stop glamorizing strangulation, making light of it, spreading false information, using it to signal female characters’ complexity or sexual awakening. Young people’s sexual scripts are shaped by what they watch, scroll by and listen to — unprecedentedly so. They deserve, and desperately need, models of interactions that are respectful, communicative, mutual and, at the very least, safe.

Peggy Orenstein is the author of “Boys & Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent and Navigating the New Masculinity” and “Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape.”

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An earlier version of this article misstated the network on which “Californication” first appeared. It is Showtime, not HBO. The article also misspelled a book and film title. It is “Fifty Shades of Grey,” not “Fifty Shades of Gray.”

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