first kiss creative writing

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How to write the perfect first kiss scene

Brooke shearouse  //  aug 21, 2017.

Do you remember when you were a kid, how you’d take Barbie’s and Ken’s heads and smash them together because you had no idea how to kiss but you knew it must involve full facial contact? No? Am I the only one that did that? I guess I was always destined to write romance. But here’s the thing I had to learn when I grew up: kissing needs context. Sure there are times I’d love to just smash my characters faces together and get on with it, but writing a good kiss involves so much more than that. So what makes a good kissing scene?

Number One: Personal History. A good kiss starts way before lips ever touch. A reader has to want it to happen just as much as the character does. How do you make a reader want it? Give the reader a reason to root for your character. For example: “Her only kiss, the result of a dare, was given to her in a dark closet by a boy who wished he was kissing her best friend instead.” Ouch. That’s some sad personal history. And this history doesn’t have to be just kissing history to win over a reader’s loyalty. Another example: “That was the bus stop where he’d stood in the rain for three hours because his parents forgot about him.” Sounds like both of these characters deserve some goodness in their lives.    

Number Two: Build-up. Have the characters spend time together not kissing. Have them not kiss the crap out of each other. Their pasts have been laid out, we now need them to make some history together on the page. They don’t even have to be almost-kissing for this build-up to resonate with your readers. “Next on their scavenger hunt list was ‘ten spiders in a glass jar’. She shuddered at the thought but met his eyes. They were both too competitive to wimp out now.”    

Number Three: Tension. There are obviously reasons — from page one of the book up until the inevitable kiss — why the characters aren’t, in fact, kissing. These need to be good reasons. Conflicts. Maybe they hate each other. Maybe they are off-limits to each other. Maybe the feelings aren’t reciprocated. Whatever the conflict, it makes your reader want the kiss that much more. “He couldn’t look at her like that, had never looked at her like that before. She was his best friend’s sister.”

Number Four: Emotions. Hopefully, with the use of all of these devices, you’ve tugged at your readers’ emotions, made them feel things, made them long for the payoff. The characters also need to share their emotions. The readers’ emotions combined with the characters’ emotions is the perfect time for the kiss to happen. “Her heart was beating so fast she couldn’t get a decent breath. His head that just seconds before had been full of unasked-for thoughts was now buzzing with anticipation. She felt his breath on her cheeks. He watched her eyelids flutter, then close. Then their lips met.”     

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A Lady’s Guide to Writing Swoon-Worthy Kiss Scenes

by Jessica Kate,  @jessicakate05

Writing kisses—some of us love it, some of us can’t stop giggling, and some of us squirm. 

But all of us want to deliver a powerful emotional experience for the reader that will stay with them long after they’ve closed the book. So here my #1 guiding principle that takes a kiss scene from ‘that was nice’ to ‘I MUST TELL EVERYONE ABOUT THIS!’:

Emotion is everything.

A kiss scene’s power comes from the emotional connection between the two characters—not the physical descriptions. That’s why even non-kiss scenes get gushed over—like the one where Mr. Darcy takes Lizzie’s hand to help her into the carriage. 

So, without further ado, here are three tips to help increase the emotional charge in your kiss scenes:

• History between the characters. It can be romantic history (The Notebook, Sweet Home Alabama, Jane the Virgin), conflict-ridden history (North and South, The Hating Game, Sweet Home Alabama) or friendship (New Girl, When Harry Met Sally, Emma, Anne of Green Gables and SWEET HOME ALABAMA!). 

The important thing is, that history had to include emotional intimacy. Ideally, these characters have, at some point, relied on one another. At the very least, they know one another better than most and have a strong (though sometimes begrudging) respect for one another.

• The kiss is communicating a message. Some of the most interesting kiss scenes are the ones that represent a major shift for a character. Take Leap Year for example. For most of the movie, Amy Adam’s control-freak character has driven Matthew Goode’s laid-back character crazy. But in the previous scene, she opened up to him and told him about her unreliable father and the burden of responsibility she’s carried from a young age. He now understands her, respects her, and is coming to admire her. At this point in the movie, they’re pretending to be a couple (for reasons too complicated to explain here), and their hosts start cheering for them to kiss.

Up till this point, Matthew’s been none-to-careful with this annoying lady’s feelings. But now he gently takes her jaw and kisses her. It’s warm (he feels strongly about her) but also gentle and respectfully brief (he’s taking care of her in a way that previous men in her life never did). 

And on Amy’s part, up until this point, she’s never trusted Matthew. But now she trusts him enough to let him kiss her—and when he pulls back, she responds and kisses him again. Now she’s told him that maybe there’s more to her than the control freak, and maybe she cares more about him than she’s let on.

Different physical actions can communicate different messages:

• Hand holding jaw = you are treasured (Leap Year)
• Slow lean in = confident enough to build the anticipation slowly, and also giving the other person the chance to communicate their interest/disinterest (While You Were Sleeping)
• 90/10 rule = same as above (Hitch)
• Start with a kiss on the cheek = I-want-to-kiss-you-but-am-not-sure-how-it-will-go-so-I’ll-test-with-this-first OR I-want-to-kiss-you-and-you-want-to-kiss-me-but-I’m-too-chicken-to-just-go-for-it OR I-want-to-kiss-you-but-we-can-never-be-together.
• Talking between kisses = Often indicates friendship and is usually funny (The Amazing Spiderman)
• Smile during a kiss = Indicates friendship and emotional intimacy (I’ll sneak in a plug for my upcoming rom-com A Girl’s Guide to the Outback because I totally used that one in there!)

• The more anticipation, the better. This is why almost-kisses are such a powerful tool. It’s also a great time for a character to remember a previous interaction in a new light. You can use some of the moves above (slow lean in, kiss on the cheek, etc.), to draw out the moment and keep the reader frantically turning pages.

When you combine as many of these elements as possible into a kiss, you pack one powerful emotional punch. Now your characters aren’t just kissing, they’re communicating and showing how much they mean to one another. This communication means so much more when it’s carrying the weight of history and has been preceded by a slow build-up. 

If you’d like to see these techniques in action, check out my short story The Kiss Dare, available free when you sign up for my newsletter at https://jessicakatewriting.com . The great thing is, if you’re someone who shies away from kiss scenes altogether, most of these principles can be applied to sizzling hand-holding scenes, or maybe even a smoking hot stroke of the cheek! 😉  

So let’s get out there and write some romance! <3 

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Jessica Kate’s hilarious, romantic debut novel proves that some mistakes—including love—are begging to be made again and again. Natalie Groves once had big dreams. But soon after her fiancé, Jeremy Walters, inexplicably broke off their engagement and left town, her father was diagnosed with cancer. Now tasked with keeping her family afloat, Natalie’s grand plans have evaporated . . . and God feels very far away. Fast-forward seven years, and Jeremy is back in Charlottesville with an infant son and years of regrets. When his niece, Lili, lands on his doorstep in need of a place to stay, Jeremy needs help—and fast. An internship opening finally presents Natalie a chance at her dream job, but she needs a second income to work around it—and the only offer available is Jeremy’s. They could be the solutions to one another’s problems, provided they don’t kill each other in the process. When they join forces, sparks fly. But they both know there’s a thin line between love and hate . . . and that love will turn out to be the best decision—or the biggest mistake—of all. “A stunning debut . . . This tale of love and redemption will stay with you long after you’ve closed the book. A must-read.” —Rachel Hauck, New York Times bestselling author of The Wedding Dress “Witty. Charming. Heartfelt. I could go on and on about Jessica Kate’s debut novel.” —Melissa Tagg, Carol Award-winning author of Now and Then and Always and the Walker Family series

She packs her novels with love, hate, and everything in between—and then nerds out over her favorite books, movies and TV in the StoryNerds podcast. When she’s not writing or discussing fiction, she’s hunting the world for the greatest pasta in existence.

Her debut novel Love and Other Mistakes released July 2019, while A Girl’s Guide to the Outback hits shelves in January 2020.

Receive her sassy short The Kiss Dare FREE when you sign up for her newsletter at jessicakatewriting.com. 

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How to Write A Heart-Stopping Kissing Scene

There comes a time in writing a romance novel (even writing a YA romance! ) when it’s time to, well, kiss and tell. Even if you’re writing a romance with no clichés, a first kiss is pretty much a given. Your characters are dying for it, your readers are definitely dying for it, and all the action of the story has built to this one moment. So how do you write a love scene that starts out with a kiss—and delivers everything the reader wants?

Build to the kiss to create romantic tension. By the time your characters lock lips, they should be desperate to do it—whether they’re conscious of it or not. Each scene that precedes the kissing scene should build on the characters’ budding desire for each other, and the subtler, the better. Ground your character’s reactions in the physical (racing heart, fluttery stomach, hyperawareness of the other person’s presence) so that your reader knows they want to kiss the romantic interest long before they do.

Pick a good scene location. Maybe your story naturally lends itself to the kiss occurring in a particular place— writing a fantasy romance with a long voyage? They’ll probably just have to kiss on the windswept face of a mountain—but if you can be flexible, try to change it up. Where’s a location that both characters feel comfortable? How about uncomfortable? What about a place they can’t stay in for long—tension! Or a place that’s just plain hilarious.

Throw a curveball. Similarly, maybe there’s a reason your characters get to—or have to!—kiss that isn’t motivated by their own desires for each other. A school play, a need to create a distraction, a dare, a few too many beers…start with a convoluted premise and let the feelings play out. The suddenness of the kiss will shock the reader…and then delight her.

Don’t get too mushy. “Is this a kissing book?” Well, yes, but that doesn’t mean you have to get goopy with your language. Keep your prose lean and your adjectives to a minimum; forget all the “limpid pools” and “soft as rose petals” and let your character’s authentic voice shine through. If they’re sarcastic, let them be a little funny and wry. If they’re angsty, let them struggle with the onslaught of emotion. Temper the romance with reality to keep it grounded and authentic.

Try not to name too many feelings. Kissing is an overwhelming act of physical affection—so much so that people don’t tend to verbalize their emotions while they’re doing it. A character isn’t going to think “I’m so happy!” “This must be love!” when she’s kissing that cutie for the first time, so don’t take that shortcut for the sake of telegraphing to the reader what she’s feeling. Instead…

Use all your senses. The great part about kissing (ahem) is that it involves so many physical sensations—touch, of course, but also (ahem again) taste. But don’t limit yourself to the obvious: consider what your characters are hearing, what their kissing partner looks and smells like, and generally what’s going on around them. How does the air feel around them? The couch they’re sitting on? THe smell of the sweaty house party? Don’t editorialize the kissing scene with too many labels; just notice every sensation they’re feeling and transcribe it to the page.

Leave your reader wanting more. The first kiss isn’t the time for eternal promises. Even if this couple is going to get the happily ever after they deserve, the first kiss isn’t when they figure that out. Ending your first kiss scene with a pledge of fidelity isn’t just moving too fast—it’s boring. Without the question of whether the couple will end up together hanging in the air, the romance loses all its tension. Writing a good romantic scene at this stage in the manuscript (unless the first kiss is literally the last scene, or close to) means giving your reader a reason to keep going—and the only way to do that is to withhold the resolution.

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How to Write Kiss Scenes: Pucker Up for Smooch Success

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on April 24, 2023

Categories Writing

Are you ready to take your readers on a passionate journey of love and lust? As a writer, crafting a kiss scene can be a daunting task. But fear not, fellow wordsmiths! With the right techniques, you can create an unforgettable moment that will leave your audience breathless and yearning for more.

From the gentle touch of lips to the fiery passion of a deep embrace, a well-written kissing scene can add depth to your characters’ relationships and elevate your story to new heights. But beware, a mediocre kiss scene can ruin the moment and disconnect your readers from the story.

So, let’s dive into the art of literary osculation and explore some tips and tricks that will help you construct a solid smooch scene that will make your readers swoon.

Kiss Scene Foundations

We all know that writing a kiss scene can be a daunting task. But fear not, dear writer, because we’re here to help you lay the foundations for a swoon-worthy smooch. Let’s dive right into the key elements you must consider for a memorable kiss scene: Character, Sexual Tension, and Romantic Tension.

Creating multi-dimensional, exciting characters is crucial for any story, but it’s even more critical when writing a heated, lip-locking moment. How our characters experience and express their emotions will greatly influence the atmosphere in the kissing scene. So, we need to know our characters inside and out, from their passions and insecurities to how they hold their breath when anticipation is building.

As we develop our characters, let’s keep in mind their quirks and idiosyncrasies. These traits can add depth to the scene, making it more vivid and engaging. And most importantly, our characters should have chemistry – that undeniable spark that makes our readers root for them to finally kiss.

Sexual Tension

Ah, sexual tension – the tantalizing build-up that has us all flipping pages frantically. Sexual tension is the secret ingredient that makes a kiss scene sizzle. To ensure we’re turning up the heat, we need to focus on the physical reactions our characters experience when they’re around each other.

Consider the following points:

• Do they get butterflies in their stomach?
• Does their heart race uncontrollably?
• Are they hyperaware of each other’s presence?

We can create an atmosphere thick enough to cut with a knife by emphasizing these sensations. Remember, anticipation is the name of the game!

Romantic Tension

Now let’s tackle the romantic aspect of our kiss scene. Romantic tension is like a slow dance between our characters, where every glance, touch, and innuendo is a step closer to that climactic smooch. We must skillfully balance the emotions and desires of our characters to create a satisfying, heart-fluttering kiss.

For a truly swoon-worthy scene, consider these tips:

• Let the moment unfold slowly (a lingering gaze, a gentle touch)
• Show vulnerability and emotional honesty
• Employ meaningful dialogue that deepens their connection

By weaving these elements together, we can create a kiss scene that will leave our readers breathless and begging for more. Now, grab your keyboard and write some steamy, soul-stirring lip action!

Crafting the Perfect Kiss

As the mystical sculptors of kiss scenes, we must chisel our way through the marble of romantic masterpieces. With our artisanal precision, we reveal the foundation fundamentals: Physical Sensations, Body Language, and Emotions. These three elements work together like a dream team to create that perfect, memorable kiss scene your readers will swoon over.

Physical Sensations

When crafting a mouthwatering kiss, savor the details in bite-sized morsels. Describe the feel of your characters’ lips meeting, the warmth of their breath, and the electricity shooting through their very souls. Don’t be stingy with those tantalizing tidbits:

• The graze of a fingertip along a jawline
• The acute awareness of each other’s heartbeats
• The tingling anticipation before lips touch

Zoom in and intensify every goosebump and shiver. Readers will relish each savory morsel, and their imaginations will soar.

Body Language

Ah, the ballet of love! Our characters’ bodies communicate volumes without saying a word. Let’s twirl our pens and pirouette through the choreography of body language, shall we?

Weave gravity-defying lifts, gentle caresses, and synchronized sways into your romantic pas de deux.

Let’s dive into the swirling storm of raw, unbridled emotion that sustains the life force of our kiss scene. Explore vulnerability, passion, or even insecurity. Channel your characters’ mindsets like this:

• How do they feel before, during, and after the kiss?
• What insecurities or fears may sting like bees beneath their bravado?
• What momentous realization might dawn on them mid-smooch?

Delve into the emotional depth that makes the heart sing, cry, and flutter in ecstasy.

Now, my fellow artisans of amore, allow these fundamentals to guide you in sculpting the perfect kiss – one worthy of its own Hallmark movie and a legion of devoted fans.

Injecting Romance and Passion

If you want your kiss scenes to sizzle and capture the heart of your readers, injecting romance and passion is essential. This section will discuss how to weave love story elements and romantic subplots into your narrative to create much-needed tension and anticipation before the kiss.

Love Story Elements

Let’s start with the basics. No romance is complete without a few key love story elements intertwined in your plot. These serve as the foundation for that steamy lip-lock moment:

• Attraction : A little spark goes a long way in building romantic tension. Make sure to convey the physical and emotional attraction between the characters with subtle hints and playful banter. Remember, it doesn’t have to be love at first sight, but it should make the reader go, “Ooh la la!”
• Conflict : Romance isn’t all sunshine and roses. Add some obstacles and challenges to make the love story more intriguing. Maybe it’s a forbidden romance, or one character is already in a relationship. The struggle will make their eventual union all the more satisfying.
• Connection : Showcase shared moments, inside jokes, and common interests between the characters to highlight their compatibility. Nobody wants to ship a couple with no chemistry (unless you’re into that sort of thing).

Romantic Subplots

Now that you’ve built a solid love story foundation let’s dive into crafting romantic subplots that will further heat up your kiss scenes:

• Secret Admiration : Nothing screams romance like characters who secretly pine after each other. It keeps the reader on their toes as they wonder when (or if) the characters will finally confess their feelings and share that long-awaited smooch.
• Rivals-to-Lovers : This trope never gets old. Characters who started as adversaries being drawn to each other adds an extra layer of anticipation for the big kiss. Your readers will be huddled in a blanket, muttering, “Just kiss already!”
• Second Chances : Sometimes love needs a do-over. Incorporating a subplot of rekindling a lost romance brings nostalgia and emotion into the scene, making that reunion kiss even more powerful.

By carefully entwining these love story elements and romantic subplots into your narrative, your lip-locks will drip with passion and make your readers’ hearts flutter. Remember, the key to writing an excellent kiss scene is capturing both the heart and the senses, so don’t hold back and let your characters’ love shine.

Captivating Description

Now let’s dive into the captivating description. This is where we really sink our teeth into the nitty-gritty of describing that perfect smooch. As always, we’ll inject a bit of humor to liven things up!

Mouth and Lips Mechanics

First, let’s tackle the mechanics of a good kissing scene. We must be aware of the lip-on-lip action to ensure our descriptions don’t look like a tag-team wrestling match. When describing the initial contact, phrases like “their lips gently brushed” or “soft lips met” will set a dreamy tone. No “lip-bashing” here, please!

As for the tongue, let’s not get too graphic. Remember, subtlety is our friend. We can use words like “exploration” or “dance” to hint at the role of the tongue without going overboard. Be mindful that it’s not all about the mouth, either! Integrate other senses—touch, taste, smell—to make the scene come alive.

Metaphors and Imagery

Wading into metaphors and imagery, we want to paint a vivid picture without slipping into clichés. Comparing a kiss to a blossoming flower? Yawn. Instead, let’s think outside the box. Perhaps the warmth of the kiss reminds the characters of the first rays of sunshine on a summer day. Or maybe the intensity of the spark between them feels like the flicker of distant fireworks.

Metaphors may be a tremendous tool, but our writing should also include more direct description. Words like “tender,” “hesitant,” or even “ravenous” can convey the mood and emotions of the characters engaging in the kiss. Think about how a pressure or lip movement change can communicate their feelings.

With these tips in mind, our kiss scene will have enough description to captivate even the most discerning of readers! Remember that the key is balance—combine mechanics with metaphors, and don’t shy away from interjecting humor when appropriate to make your kissing scenes truly memorable.

The Good, the Bad, and the Awkward

As writers, we know that a deliciously executed kissing scene can make our readers swoon, while a poorly executed one can leave them cringing. In this section, we’ll explore the good, the bad, and the awkward aspects of writing kissing scenes.

Passionate Moments

Let’s start with the good. When we pen the perfect kissing scene, it’s all about capturing the moment’s intensity. Our characters should be entranced by each other, their chemistry palpable. We can skillfully incorporate their mutual attraction and shared emotions into the scene, adding the right dose of chemistry and connection. Done correctly, this perfect kiss will leave our readers breathless and eager for more.

Awkward Encounters

Now, let’s discuss the bad and the awkward. Sometimes, our characters’ kisses might not be straight out of a fairy tale – and that’s just fine. We can use these awkward encounters to showcase our characters’ vulnerability, clumsiness, or lack of experience. These instances can make our story more relatable and engaging, whether it’s their first kiss, an awkward peck on the cheek, or a full-blown clumsy smooch.

One great way to create an awkward kissing scene is to focus on the miscommunication factor – for instance, when one person leans in for a kiss. Still, the other pulls away or turns their head at the last moment, resulting in a cheek peck instead of a passionate lip lock. We can also highlight the humorous aspects of an awkward encounter, like accidental head bumps, nose collisions, or braces getting stuck together (if our characters are of that age).

When writing kissing scenes, whether a passionate moment or an awkward encounter, we aim to make our readers feel the characters’ emotions and connect with their experiences. So let’s create some unforgettable kisses – the good, the bad, and the delightfully awkward.

Creating Connection and Intimacy

Oh, romantic tension! How we love it! And nothing quite captures it like a well-written kissing scene. But before the magic happens, we need to create connection and intimacy between our two characters. Buckle up because we’re diving into the sea of emotion!

Dialogue and Banter

Build that connection and intimacy with some witty repartee between our main character and their soon-to-be-kissing partner! A well-placed quip or teasing comment can draw the reader in and have them rooting for the romantic outcome.

Remember, genuine dialogue helps fuel the chemistry! So, let’s make sure our characters drop hints about their growing affection in their conversations. Our heroine and her partner can start discussing each other’s embarrassing childhood stories or how their eyes sparkle like stars under the moonlit sky.

Character Development

Oh, character development, the beating heart of our story, and crucial to setting up the perfect kiss. As we bring our characters closer to one another, never forget to reveal a softer side to the rough-around-the-edges hero or an inner strength in our sweet and demure heroine. Showcase these changes after pivotal events or shared experiences.

Let’s have the hero take off his seemingly impenetrable emotional armor in our romantic scene, show vulnerability, and open up about a closely guarded secret. On the other hand, have the heroine step up to the challenge and show the depth of her courage, proving that she’s not the damsel in distress we might have first assumed she was.

With these ingredients, that lip-lock will feel like the natural outcome of our characters’ undeniable chemistry. Get ready to watch the sparks fly between their irresistibly connected souls!

Author’s Insights

With all the tips and tricks we’ve covered, we’d like to add two cents about writing that perfect kiss scene. Bear with us as we share some a writer’s perspective and help you avoid common pitfalls.

Writer’s Perspective

For us writers, it’s important to remember that we’re not just creating a scene; we’re crafting an experience for our readers. We want them to feel the heat of passion, the longing of desire, and the delicate play of breath between characters. We focus on details that make the scene feel more alive and engaging to achieve this effect.

Remember, the sexual attraction between characters is paramount in a kiss scene. Put yourself in the reader’s shoes and ask yourself, “Would I be swept up in the moment?” When you read the scene out loud or in your mind, you should feel the same excitement as your characters.

Avoiding Common Pitfalls

Writing a kissing scene isn’t without its challenges. We’ve encountered our fair share of pitfalls, and we’d like to share them with you so you can learn from our mistakes:

• Avoid clichés: Kissing in the pouring rain? That’s been done to death. Create fresh, creative scenarios for your characters to lock lips in. Don’t be afraid to push boundaries and break the mold!
• Less is more: Sure, the temptation to describe every detail can be strong, but not every breath and movement needs to be documented. Focus on the essential things that amplify the emotions and leave the superfluous details out.
• Keep it authentic: Ask yourself if the situation and dialogue feel genuine while writing. If the characters’ actions or words seem forced or unrealistic, go back to the drawing board and revise until the scene rings true.

And there you have it! Our gift to you, fellow writers, is the power to create swoon-worthy kiss scenes. Keep these insights in mind, and don’t forget to have fun with it – after all, writing is an art best served with a side of humor and passion.

Competitions

How to write romantic scenes (that aren’t cringey).

By Kathleen Laccinole · November 24, 2021

When we throw down our hard-earned money to watch a romance , we want to see a rich, romantic arc played out in its entirety, from swoon-at-first-sight to the cue-the-orchestral-swell at the end. We want that feisty “meet-cute,” the sexually charged complication, that heart-breaking choice, then love’s great reveal. We want that big emotional payoff (where that orchestra heats up), and finally, the happy ending – hearts and flowers and love all around. And we want lots and lots of romantic scenes in between. The problem?

Romantic scenes are tough to write!

Nevertheless, for those attempting to write a romantic film or TV show , they are unavoidable. So, light some candles, turn on that fireplace, put on some romantic music, and slip on your… well… your… fine – your old sweats with the hole in the butt and let’s get busy. 

Enter Now — It’s FREE! Early Deadline ends December 10th

Know the Difference Between a Romantic Scene and a Love Scene

The basic rule is if it is romance, emotions are involved. And love scenes = sex, and sex is, well, sex. Emotions between two characters inform their arcs. Romance can lead to sex, and sex is the payoff. Romance is the connection that forms in the time between love and sex (a.k.a., your narrative). And it’s how we get our audience emotionally invested in our characters. Just ask Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice . 

Ask Yourself What Works for You (and Your Friends)

If you are jaded and bitter like me, and your romantic boat has long since sailed… then caught fire and sunk, writing a romantic scene is akin to sticking needles in your eyes.

Try visiting your vault of past romances and you may just find some nuggets of romantic gold and a memory of how it feels: That first kiss under a moonrise, slow dancing in the Paris Metro, the midnight train ride from Amsterdam to Nice with a handsome stranger with just a baguette, some cheese, and a bottle of red. (Sigh.)

Access your own emotional memories, however remote, then express them through your characters. And if this doesn’t work, ask your friends. Everyone has a story. And for the few that don’t… step away from the video games, take a shower, and brush your teeth!  

Know Your Demographic

This is easy. Think about it. If you are writing for teens, avoid the  50 Shades of Gray  audience. If you are writing the reboot of  Romeo and Juliet , don’t go for the  Bridesmaids’  crowd – although, it would be pretty dang funny if you did.

‘Romeo + Juliet’

Avoid Tropes

I’m begging you, stay away from sappy, sticky sweet, schmaltzy contrivances and, for the love of god, MELODRAMA! Because nothing kills a romantic scene faster than a train station goodbye with a stringed crescendo and a character saying, “Kiss me, you fool. Kiss me like it’s the last kiss on earth,” or “I have loved you since before time existed,” or god forbid, “You complete me.” (Sorry. Personal opinion.)  

Restraint is Everything

Have you ever noticed how watching characters not touch but  almost touch can be more emotionally provocative to an audience than watching them actually full-on make out? Try building romantic tension into your scenes for a greater payoff when that kiss finally comes. Make use of the quiet moments; the silences, the stillness, the spaces between the words that say so much more. Allow the feelings and the attraction to be in the implication. Sometimes the most powerful romance is in what’s hiding beneath; in what isn’t said. Just ask Al Pacino as he dances a seductive tango with a beautiful, young woman in Scent of a Woman .  

If you want to really bring out the big guns, delay the kiss. Make them wait. In films set in the Victorian era, when courtship ruled and a kiss meant wedding bells, the payoff is held back until we can’t bear it anymore. There’s a wonderful tension and intensity created when you spread out that space between the realization of love and the physical manifestation of it. The greater the space, the more romantic your scenes and emotional payoff. Just ask Cher (Alicia Silverstone) and Josh (Paul Rudd) in  Clueless. 

Subtext is Worth a Million Sighs

And how about some subtext .  We  know how our romantic interests feel about each other. But they aren’t ready to admit it. So, they talk about something, anything, but how they really feel. Their  true feelings are wrapped up in a conversation about baking bread. Their true feelings are in what’s underneath their conversation.

The most powerful piece of romance, in general, is all that happens before that kiss. Just ask Eleanor (Emma Thompson) and Edward (Hugh Grant) in Sense and Sensibility  wherein, in hopes of doing the right thing, they fight their true feelings in scenes charged with subtext. It’s what they don’t say that’s so meaningful – so that when Edward is finally free to profess his love, Eleanor bursts into tears at his   declaration. 

Tell me you didn’t burst into tears as well!  

No, romance isn’t dead, and anyone can write it – even the jaded and bitter.

Just ask… me!

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