essay about single parent families

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Being a Single Parent

• Categories: Single Parenting

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Published: Mar 19, 2024

Words: 517 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, 1. socioeconomic challenges, 2. emotional struggles, 3. societal stigmas, 4. strengths and resilience, 5. support networks, 6. positive outcomes.

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The Single-Parent Family

Reviewed by Psychology Today Staff

A single parent is someone who is unmarried, widowed, or divorced and not remarried. The single-parent household can be headed by a mother, a father, a grandparent, an uncle, or aunt. According to the Pew Research Center, between 25 to 30 percent of children under age 18 in the U.S. live in a single-parent household. The U.S. Census reports that roughly 22 million children live with a single parent. And three times as many women, when compared with men, head these households .

On This Page

• The Well-Being of Children in a Single-Parent Household
• The Challenges of Single-Parent Families
• Raising Kids as a Single Parent

Single parents should be reassured by the fact that a large number of studies find no differences between the children of single mothers and children from other types of households. One study looked into the lives of children from different kinds of households—two-parent biological, adoptive, step-father, step-mother, single-parent—and the type of household did not matter. Children’s grades, and their relationships with their siblings and their friends, were about the same across all households. In a survey of adolescents living in nine types of households, those who lived with parents who had always been single and who were being raised in multi-generational households reported the highest sense of well-being of all those surveyed.

In studies as well as many reports from children themselves, children are better off raised by a single parent as opposed to living with married parents who engage in constant conflict. Children raised by one divorced parent sometimes have better outcomes than children raised by a parent who is remarried. It is impossible to predict a child's outcome based on this one factor alone. 

Yes. Every situation involves trade-offs, and they often go unrecognized at the time. In a common refrain, the grown child of a single, working mom reported that he was glad that his mom was busy all the time. His friends, by contrast, had moms who stayed at home. These parents were hyper-involved in their lives, including their schoolwork and schedules. This overbearing participation produced problems between parent and child.

Yes, but this is a risk for married parents as well. Some parents rely too heavily on a child for emotional support. These individuals become enmeshed with their child because of their own low self-esteem, loneliness, neediness, insecurity, or other similar reasons. These parents lack boundaries, preferring to be a best friend rather than a parent.

The vast majority of the children of single parents flourish at home and in later life. In a national survey of substance abuse among more than 22,000 adolescents from different kinds of households, the rate of substance abuse among the children of single parents was 5.7 percent, and the rate for the children of married parents was 4.5%. 

Not at all. More often, the children of single parents defy all stereotypes . If problems arise, they likely already existed when a child's parents were married or arise independent of the household configuration. These children were struggling in their nuclear family. Researchers who followed children of married parents for more than a decade, not knowing in advance whether the parents would stay married or divorce, found that among the children whose parents did divorce and who had problems, their difficulties began at a young age.

Children need a safe and reliable household to flourish. Of course, it is much harder for single-parents who live with financial hardship. The Bureau of Labor Statistics data show that nearly 11 million people are considered working poor. The definition of working poor is an individual who spends 27 weeks or more in the workforce, this person is working or looking for work, yet their income is below the poverty level. And according to the U.S. Census, single moms are one of the most disadvantaged groups—with nearly 30 percent living in poverty. Many of these single moms cannot provide for their families as they often have lower-paying jobs.

Being the sole parent of a household may mean you are the boss, free of quarrels over money and finance. That’s great, but according to research, it costs $234,000 to raise a child . This price tag impacts the high risk of financial hardship.

This should not be a source of concern or guilt, even though it often is. Children of mothers who return to work while the children are infants and toddlers, fare the same behaviorally and academically compared with children whose mothers stay home. In one study, kids from single-parent families , whose mothers worked, had better academic scores and fewer behavioral problems than did children whose mothers did not work.

The U.S. Census Bureau reports that at two years after the breakup of their family, nearly 50 percent of children who live with their mother do not see their father regularly. Many fathers are often shortchanged by custody arrangements. However, a father showing interest and being involved with his children is a huge plus for all. One way to help this along: Help your ex. Pick up the children from school, attend their functions, and cheer them on at games--this involvement can make a difference. Helping your ex will help you. By being an involved father, you and your kids will find ways to spend more time together.

To raise successful children in any family configuration, stability and security matter. Single parents can help ensure such an environment by developing a supportive network of friends, relatives, and neighbors. People who care. For those with extreme financial hardship, there are resources in your community including assistance for housing, food, and healthcare for children, depending on income and other criteria. 

To raise thriving children, a single parent must juggle many aspects of life, the household, work demands, finances, among many other concerns. All parents face similar obstacles, but the challenge for a single-parent is greater.

Set house rules with your kids.

Give undivided attention to each child, even a daily 10-minute one-one conversation will help.

Set boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

Be consistent and fair, always.

Kids need schedules and routines (sounds boring, but it works).

Lower your expectations, and do away with any ideas of perfection.

Lose your sense of guilt, victimhood, and martyrdom.

Ignore judgmental people.

You need support through good childcare, friends, family, neighbors.

If possible, get along with your ex. (To do so, you need to get over yourself.)

Apply self-care daily, eat right, exercise, sleep, meditate. (If you do not have time, make the time.)

If you need therapy, a good family therapist will help.

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Two-parent homes aren’t the key for all

Manisha Aggarwal-Schifellite

Harvard Staff Writer

Why single-parent homes don’t affect Black children as negatively as white kids

Social policy and popular culture promote the two-parent nuclear family as an ideal structure for raising successful, healthy children. But the reality of family life in America looks very different from that: Half of all children spend time living with a single parent, and one in three spends some time living with an extended relative. Christina Cross , a postdoctoral scholar and incoming assistant professor in the Sociology Department, has studied this disconnect, analyzing the relationships between family structure and individual well-being in areas including health, education, and socioeconomic mobility. In a paper published last month in the Journal of Marriage and Family , Cross looked at the connection between family structure and children’s educational outcomes and found racial and ethnic differences that were counterintuitive and largely unexplained. The Gazette spoke to Cross about rethinking the ideal family, the limits of demographic research, and policy alternatives for alleviating poverty in America.

Christina Cross

GAZETTE:  What are your research findings?

CROSS: As I was reading the existing literature on this topic, I kept noticing the same finding over and over: that even though children who live outside of the two-parent family tend to fare worse than those who live with two parents, minority children are less negatively impacted by this. Scholars have speculated that maybe this has something to do with minority families having a stronger extended family support network than white families or perhaps that they are more frequently exposed to socioeconomic stressors such that the independent effect of living apart from a parent is just not as pronounced. However, I had not come across a study that empirically tested these possible explanations. So, I spent a couple years tracking a nationally representative sample of about 2,600 children’s living arrangements, their access to economic resources, and their interactions with extended relatives through the Panel Study of Income Dynamics (PSID), which is the longest-running household panel study in the world. And what I found was that both sets of factors helped account for group differences in the effect of family structure. However, the socioeconomic-stress argument helps explain relatively more of this puzzle.

GAZETTE:  Why is that?

CROSS:  One way to think about this is that economic resources play an important role in parents’ ability to provide the material resources that children need to thrive. When children have two parents in the household who are able to pool resources, they are less likely to live in poverty. However, for minority children, and black and Hispanic children in particular, even when they live in a two-parent family they’re still two to three times more likely to be poor. This has a lot to do with the structural disadvantages that these groups face. I don’t mean to suggest that economic resources are the only things that matter for children’s success — parenting and family stability are also important. However, I do find that economic resources play a key role in determining children’s educational success. This is pretty unfortunate and sobering, but I think it’s important because our current welfare legislation, the Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act of 1996, emphasizes the importance of this two-parent family model.

GAZETTE: Can you explain more about how current policy promotes this version of family unity?

CROSS: One example of this kind of policy is the Healthy Marriage Initiative, implemented under the administration of George W. Bush. States were given the opportunity to take hundreds of millions of dollars allocated for welfare and use the money to create programs to try to encourage low-income families, who are disproportionally families of color, to get married and stay married. Many researchers have found these programs to be largely ineffective, and if we recognize that the benefits of this arrangement aren’t equal [in the first place], then perhaps we shouldn’t divert funds away from these poor families to try to get them to get married. This isn’t to say that I or most researchers think that marriage is problematic, because I don’t, but I don’t think that’s the best solution to fixing poverty.

“It’s important that we shed light on and recognize the diversity of American families today. If we continue to overlook their experiences, it will be difficult to better understand them and create more inclusive policies.”

GAZETTE: Are there some policy alternatives that might better serve families outside of the two-parent nuclear family model?

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CROSS: I would point to the research of other scholars like Darrick Hamilton and [William A.] Sandy Darity , who have come up with some interesting and potentially viable proposals to reduce inequality in America. An example of that would be baby bonds, where every child born in America is given a bond of a certain amount based on income, so families with more money will get less and families who have fewer dollars get more toward the bond. The bond then grows over the child’s life course and that would help them pay for things like college, which we know is getting increasingly expensive. So, if we were to take the money that we’re using for marriage-promotion initiatives and put it toward something like a baby bond, I suspect that we might address more directly the financial hardships that families are facing.

GAZETTE: Are there any others that strike you as promising?

CROSS: Sociologists have also known for some time that one of the biggest drivers of inequality in America is housing segregation. There’s a high concentration of poverty in certain communities, which means that people don’t have access to basic resources like quality schools and other community resources. If we could focus on creating opportunities for more affordable housing, or even better, offering people a living wage, I would speculate that those initiatives would probably be more effective than trying to get single women to get married.

GAZETTE: In your paper, you study data on Black, white, and Hispanic children, which you write is a rare occurrence in sociological research of this kind. Why was it important for you to include more diversity in your analysis?

CROSS:   Much of the literature in this area hasn’t focused on racial differences in family structure effects in general, but when they do it’s typically focused on the differences between Black people and white people. We know that America is much more demographically diverse than that. I included the now-largest ethnic minority group, which is people who are Hispanic or Latino, and I wish I could have included more groups but, unfortunately, I just didn’t have enough respondents in the study in order to make any types of inferences about them. I think my paper paints a more diverse picture of American families, and it’s important that we shed light on and recognize the diversity of American families today. If we continue to overlook their experiences, it will be difficult to better understand them and create more inclusive policies. It’s unfortunate, because it almost goes without saying, but we as researchers haven’t done enough of that work yet.

GAZETTE: Do you think your findings indicate that this is a case of policy not matching up with reality?

CROSS: I think that’s an issue. Research, and policy even more so, is disconnected from the demographic realities of American families today. There is such an emphasis, and it’s explicit in the welfare reform goals we discussed, on the two-parent nuclear family. There’s nothing wrong with that family structure, but I think when we hold onto that framework it prescribes and circumscribes what we see as legitimate in terms of family life. That limits our ability to craft policies that can be effective in supporting families, because families that are the most disadvantaged are typically not two-parent nuclear families in the first place.

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• Essay Editor

Single-parent families

1. introduction.

Single-parent families have been a part of all cultures in the past. Today, a number of social and economic changes have allowed more single-parent families to be created, including an increase in divorce, separation, and the increased chance of outliving a spouse. The number of single-parent families has more than tripled since 1960. Most often, the cause of this newly developed family is related to the change in society. Thus, it is evident that single-parent families have become more common today. The purpose of this paper is to provide a brief description of single-parent families and their development in today's society, including their impact on children. This should provide a clear understanding of the effects of single-parent families on children, which has been a topic of great concern and personal interest of Tamara's. 1.1 Definition of Single-Parent Families There are a number of diverse types of families that will be discussed. However, for the sake of this paper, only a general definition of a single-parent family will be put forth. "A family in which a parent is the head of the household and responsible for all decision making, with complete economic and emotional responsibility for one or more children." This means that even in cases where a parent has shared custody, if that parent is not the primary caregiver and does not have the children for at least 2/3 of the time, that family will still be considered a single-parent family. This definition allows for clarification regarding the specific type of family being referenced, which is important as there are many different types of families that could fall under this category. This definition also makes it clear that single-parent families are vastly different from intact families in many ways.

1.1 Definition of single-parent families

The fixed, traditional definition of a nuclear family is in many ways obsolete. Today it is both a common and prevalent lifestyle for many families to be defined as anything but a nuclear unit. A single parent, not only parent to one or more children, is usually defined as the individual who takes the role of primary caregiver and is the person most responsible for the health and well-being of their children. This may describe a range of families from separated, divorced, widowed, or never married and they may have blended, parallel, extended, or no family structure. Single parents raise one quarter of the children under the age of eighteen in the United States. That's roughly 13.6 million children. This statistic is not just significant to the citizens of the United States, but to other countries as well. The numbers have become a great concern because the family structure has a great impact on the children and the outcome of the way that they live when they are older. Around 60% of the children who live in a single-parent household are at or below the poverty level compared to 37% from broken homes. Only 11% of children in a two-parent household are at or below the poverty level. It is clear that a nuclear family is better for the children in terms of financial, health, and emotional well-being. Because of the large amount of children being raised in single-parent families, alternative families are said to be "no longer unconventional." This states that the public has finally realized the emotional, financial, and overall capabilities to raise children in a single-parent environment. Furthermore, "it has become more socially acceptable for a woman to bear and raise a child on her own, without a man involved." In general terms, not every single-parent family is the same, some may fit the classic description of a nuclear family and some may not. Any situation where a parent and the child do not live together in the same household as the other biological parent is classified as an alternate family.

1.2 Prevalence of single-parent families

Data on the prevalence of single-parent families are very sketchy. Estimates vary from 15 to 35 percent of families in the Western world. In many nations, including the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia, single parent families are now more than 20% of all families. In the mid to late 1980s, this figure has increased from 13.5% in 1976. In other nations, this is not the case. For example, single parent families are more common in nations such as Denmark and Sweden. Information on the rate of single motherhood in nations such as Japan or Taiwan is hard to find. Since the 1970s, in just about all nations, an increasing proportion of single-parent families have been the result of divorce. In terms of the prevalence of single-parent families by race and ethnicity, this again is difficult to determine due to the limitations of available data. However, there are an increasing number of families among Caucasian families in Western nations. In the US, the proportion of African American families headed by women is approximately 49%, and for Hispanic families, approximately 33%. In New Zealand, the proportion of European families in 1993 was just over 16%, Maori 36%, and Pacific Islands approximately 55%. Simultaneously, the past 30 years has seen many nations launch support systems for single-parent families. This is often in the form of financial assistance in the way of welfare payments, or more formal child and family support services. There are major differences in approaches to single-parent families, and the prevalence of single-parent families amongst developed nations is reflective of underlying social, economic, and governmental differences.

2. Challenges faced by single-parent families

Due to their typically lower income, research shows that children from single-parent families are more likely to get lower grades, drop out of high school, and are less likely to continue on to college than children from two-parent families. The added stress of being a single parent often causes parents to rely on older children to care for younger ones, which can be an added source of stress to teenagers. At its worst, parents may lose custody of their children because they are no longer able to provide for them. In addition to financial stresses, single-parent homes often have higher stress levels, which can affect parent-child relationships. With single parents having to work and also go to school, time spent with children is often significantly reduced. This has been associated with increased behavior problems in children. A lack of time with a child may also be an opportunity cost of the work that has to be done for them. For example, a parent that worked too much might find that they missed a child's first steps. High stress levels can also cause a higher incidence of physical punishment, and in severe cases, child abuse. Balancing work and parenting responsibilities is a challenge for any parent, but it is especially difficult for a single parent. Single parents must be more organized and conscious of time and time management. Often, the workday does not end for single parents. After work, there are still meals to be made, laundry to be done, and dishes to be cleaned. Married parents may split housework and childcare, but single parents are required to do it all. Often, children are given responsibilities beyond their years. Teenagers often have to get a job to help make ends meet and may take over the role of a non-resident parent in financial contribution to the family. A study conducted by the Canadian Council on Social Development, entitled "The Costs of Raising Children," found that "Children from poor families are often required to take on part-time or summer jobs at an early age to help their families pay for basic necessities." This is often an opportunity cost of these children's education. A child working a full-time summer job for the family can reduce their chances of getting into college. Even parent-child roles may be reversed with the child taking on a parental role to provide emotional or instrumental support for the struggling parent. This increased responsibility can increase daily stress in the child and may be an added source of stress in the parent due to feeling that they are not successfully fulfilling their role as a parent.

2.1 Financial struggles

Parenting a child on one’s own can be stressful. Finances can be a strain, especially if the parent does not receive child support. Most single parents have a hard time succeeding in the workforce because they lack the resources for childcare. A single parent has to work full-time and also take care of the children, leaving no extra time for a social life or for the children. Often times children become another financial burden to the single parents that is hardly affordable. Fifty-six percent of all poor families are maintained by single mothers. This is a harsh reminder that single parent families are one of the hardest family structures to maintain. The unemployment rate for single mothers is higher than the rate for single fathers and two parent families. It is six times higher than average for married couples in the U.S. (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2005). The U.S. Census Bureau reported that about 30 percent of single mothers are considered as living in poverty and about 4.8 million children are on food stamps. These statistics show that the financial struggles of single parents are far worse than the rest of society.

2.2 Balancing work and parenting responsibilities

While the previous section discussed the major financial constraints single-parent families experience, a by-product of this is a rise in the amount of stress and pressure felt by the parent. With a sole income earner for the family, the stakes are higher, and they may feel an increased necessity to stay in a job that they do not enjoy, which in turn can lead to feelings of resentment and despair. Most single parents are not able to work in a job that offers them much flexibility in terms of working hours and may often have to work unsociable hours to fit in with when their children are at home or in bed. They may be overemployed in an effort to provide for their family and thus not have enough time to spend with their children. One income is often not enough to adequately provide for a family, and many single parents experience a constant struggle to make ends meet. Due to the lack of income and increased financial pressures, single parents are often forced to move to cheaper, and often poorer areas. This may result in their children having to move to a different school, loss of friends and, in effect, loss of support. As the parent is often at work, the child may often be left to their own devices and forced to mature at a young age. This is similar to the idea of having a latch-key kid, in which the child will let themselves into the house on returning from school and essentially parent themselves until their real parent gets home. This could have several negative consequences, as discussed in the next section.

2.3 Emotional and psychological impact on children

Additional stress and possible stigmatization that results from a single-parent family may affect the children. They may be constantly worrying about their parent, trying to take care of them and become overly responsible. They may feel angry about having to take on adult roles and resent the loss of their childhood. Depression may also affect them. As previously mentioned, economic hardships from situational factors may be the cause of some of these emotional or psychological problems. However, there has been evidence that children from single-parent families are more prone to such mental illnesses, supporting the idea that the environment in most single parent families is more stressful and there is often conflict between the parent and child. Performance in school is also affected by the increased stress from the economic and emotional responsibilities of a single parent. Children of single parents often perform poorly in school, drop out more frequently, and have more behavioral problems. All of the results of the various factors previously discussed. This will affect the child throughout their life, being a determinant and perpetuating the repeat of life chances of their parent. On the contrary, there are many children from single-parent families who become successful adults and many of the problems created by living in a single-parent home can be circumvented with effective solutions to the obstacles which the parent and child experience.

2.4 Limited support network

The single-parent family that has been shown in the United States has caused a great deal of concern about the well-being of children raised in single-parent homes. The reason why the amount of concerns about the well-being of children raised by a single parent increases is because nowadays it has become a norm. It makes us not worry about it and say that it is common for this to happen. But the condition of others needs to be a concern for us. Children raised by a single parent can have many causes of stress. Limited income and emotional resources, for example, can have a detrimental effect on the family. Instability because of divorce or separation often causes the residential parent to move, and it can affect the financial position and the educational environment of children. Because of economic hardship, there is also a psychological effect on the economic security of children. Such children are more likely to be exposed to various social and environmental problems. So the condition of the children raised by a single parent should be known deeply by society, what they feel and need to evaluate the cause of it.

3. Coping strategies for single-parent families

Single-parent families have a lot less stress and problems to deal with than a two-parent family. Whether it's a lone mother or father, the responsibilities and emotional stress that the parent has to deal with is very problematic. Because the family is only relying on one source of income, there are financial issues such as food, shelter, and other necessities. Often times, the other parent has left and is not providing financial support, thus leading the parent to seek new education or employment, and sometimes full-time employment is not an option if the child is young. Due to economic stress, 30% of single mothers and their children are living in poverty, as for 17.2% of single father families. This can bring negatives to a child's personality and quality of life. In some cases, this can result in a child performing poorly in school due to the inability to pay for lunch. High school students may drop out and not pursue college due to poor academic performance as a result of working to support their family. And of course, the child is most likely not to have enough money to participate in leisure activities with other children.

3.1 Seeking financial assistance and resources

In a perfect world, all single parents would receive the correct amount of child support they are entitled to and receive it on time from their child's other parent. However, we know this is not the case. Many single parents are not receiving the correct amount of child support. In fact, many are not receiving any child support at all. Some single parents who are owed back child support may encounter problems with intercepting a tax refund to which they are entitled to by using the Federal Tax Refund Offset Program. Others are finding the non-custodial parents are quitting their jobs, going on welfare, or getting paid under the table to avoid paying child support. Maine's Division of Support Enforcement and Recovery hosts a "Black Hole" Campaign each year. It is a public awareness campaign to remind parents of their responsibility to support their children, and to lead them to DSER services where they can get help to reach that goal. Many parents are finding that the help of an attorney, though costly, has been effective in securing child support. There are methods for single parents to increase their income. Some will choose to attain education and training in an attempt to secure a better paying job. Others may use the help of Employment Related Day Care (ERDC) to pay for child care so they can continue working. ERDC is available for families with income up to 180% of the federal poverty level. By working and/or continuing education, parents are setting a good example for their children and teaching them the importance of being self-sufficient.

3.2 Establishing routines and schedules

Routines and schedules are important within a family unit, providing structure and predictability for children and decreasing the burden of parental responsibilities. For single parents, creating and maintaining such routines can be especially difficult due to the lack of backup and support when other commitments arise. Routines take time to become established and require consistency with reinforcement. Inconsistent parenting or habitual changes in routines can be confusing and unsettling for children. When children know what to expect, it enforces the parents' authority in a positive way and reduces the likelihood of power struggles. To install an effective routine, parents need to first establish their shared parenting goals and then involve the children in their discussions. Here, negotiation and bargaining not only provide children with a chance to offer their opinions, but also allows them to accept limits set by the parents that they may not agree with. The feeling of ownership encourages children to participate willingly. Flexibility is important when considering the age of the children. Young children are likely to adapt quickly to change and are satisfied with a short-term simple routine with small regular activities. On the other hand, older children and teenagers may be resistant, especially if the single-parent situation is new to them. Get to know your kids, and gauge when to move on to the next step through observing their behaviour. Stick to the agenda once it has been set, and remain consistent. Fulfill all promises to children whenever possible and, because interruptions may be inevitable, explain the situation when a change in the routine has to occur. Know your limitations and do not take on too much at once. Over-scheduling can lead to stress and failure, defeating the purpose of what was originally intended. An effective routine should run smoothly and be self-reinforcing. Once the benefits of a routine become apparent for all involved, it will be easier to maintain.

3.3 Building a support system

Recommendations for change are not just successful when the policy meets the needs of the person, they also need the active involvement of the individual to take part in the decision-making and implementation process. Bradley (1994) demonstrated that support did have a positive impact on the empowerment of single parents as they were able to access their support worker and share their thoughts on the support they had received and were currently getting. They were able to work together in an equal partnership to decide how they could make improvements to the service or support they were accessing. Bradley suggests that in order to break the mould of oppressive services which disempower single parents, professionals need training and ongoing education both academically and professionally. This would be to ensure that they are aware of the isomorphic trends and to help professionals avoid such behaviour and not replicate the oppressive forms of social work and other services which are not consistent with current anti-oppressive policy. Of course, some single parent families are not able to receive the support they need. Often there are promises of strategies and initiatives to help provide dense networks of social support which may go as far as enabling single parents to live in a more enriched neighbourhood. Unfortunately, these are not always carried out due to severe cuts in public funding for the social services and Jobcentre Plus programmes. The recent reforms in welfare offering more conditionality and sanctions are likely to immerse single parent families in deeper poverty with less of a chance of obtaining more skills and better jobs. On the other hand, we can attempt to build support and social networks within community associations. McLennan et al. (2007, p. 248) states that by promoting policies to provide financial support or concessions to community groups and associations, it will enable a greater range of social and civic participation effectively reducing inequalities in health and wellbeing, an essential aim for lone parents.

3.4 Prioritizing self-care

Resources to promote and maintain physical and emotional well-being provide the foundation that makes it possible for parents to care for their children. Taking the time to attend to proper nutrition, physical fitness, and emotional needs is not a self-indulgent act, but essential to family survival. Taking advantage of programs and information designed to help can make the task less daunting. Free or low-cost brochures, videos, web-based seminars, and "in-person" classes offered via community health organizations or healthcare providers can provide valuable information about how to eat well on a tight budget, easy and affordable ways to incorporate physical fitness into a daily routine, parenting tips, managing stress, and many other topics. A solid and affordable way to access knowledge and support regarding a wide variety of health and wellness topics is through the local Cooperative Extension Service, which has offices in nearly every county in the U.S. CES offers a plethora of free or low-cost resources, including access to nutritionists, registered dietitians, family and child wellness experts, exercise physiologists, and more. Low-cost services are typically available to low-income families and individuals who receive benefits such as WIC or SNAP. Check the county blue pages for contact information or visit the USDA website. Self-care is not just about maintaining physical health but mental health as well.

4. Policy implications and support for single-parent families

4.1 Government programs and initiatives 4.2 Workplace policies and flexibility 4.3 Access to affordable childcare The emergence of single-parent families as a significant family form in Western society has been characterized by demographic change. The number of children living in a single-parent family has risen dramatically. The latest Australian Bureau of Statistics figures show that sole parent families have increased. As more and more single-parent families have emerged, the focus on the wellbeing of the traditional family has shifted towards the wellbeing of single-parent families. This has led to a number of policy implications, support programs, and special initiatives aimed at creating equality of opportunity between single-parent and two-parent families. 4.1 Government programs and initiatives Legal and policy changes in the late 20th century have had a marked effect on the economic circumstances of single parents. This came in the form of improvements to the tax-transfer system, more generous income support and support for higher child care quality, changes to family law and child support systems. Such initiatives are designed to improve the economic circumstances of single-parent families in an effort to decrease the prevalence and impact of child poverty. The effects have been wide-ranging with a recent report suggesting that changes to the tax-transfer system have improved the economic wellbeing of many sole parents and their children (Institute of Family Studies, 2004). This is an important step towards improving the overall wellbeing of single-parent families and creating a level playing field between them and two-parent families.

4.1 Government programs and initiatives

Government intervention through public policies is considered necessary in single-parent families, given their financial and material deprivation. This measure is also justified on the grounds of high social costs accruing from children of single parents who become inadequate or delinquent to peer group and school dropouts. These social costs take the form of future welfare payments, health costs due to high stress and related chronic illness, unemployment, and associated crime. There is evidence of long-term benefit from public investment in the form of preventive and early intervention strategies with high-risk children and families. The Corporate Plan for the Department of Social Security is claimed to set a future direction for more coordinated and sustainable investment through prevention and early intervention. So the possibility to provide a better quality of life for single-parent families and recipients of direct payments from Income Support through a review of rates, along with specific payments for children and housing costs. One of the best ways to ascertain the impact of government policies or programs is through taxable income. It was not until the reforms to the Australian income tax system in July 2000 and the introduction of Family Tax Benefit (FTB) Part B that single-parent families began to see the benefit of any changes. FTB Part B aimed to provide extra assistance to families with one main income earner, in which case this is often the situation for a single-parent family. The reduction in work disincentives for sole parents has also been an ongoing issue. The Lone Parent Action Group (ACT) says that while sole parents have a higher rate of activity than other groups, there has to be a balance between reducing work disincentives for sole parents and the time they provide for their children.

4.2 Workplace policies and flexibility

This area of meaningful assistance to single-parent families has been thoroughly explored in the part-time work literature. Denier and Dot have examined the phenomenon of involuntary part-time work, contrasting those who would prefer to work longer hours with those who are glad to trade longer hours for more time flexibility. They note the high proportion of the former among single parents, and the existence of institutional barriers to their acquiring more hours of work from the same employer. Using data from the Australian 1995 Survey of Employment, Unemployment and Underemployment, Kalb argues that improved access to variable hours of work could be more beneficial to single parents than any other employment policy initiative. The obvious option for these parents is working longer hours when the other parent is looking after the children. Flexibility in hours of work or leave provisions can allow single parents to better match work and family responsibilities, with marginal changes to the number of hours worked by the other parent having large repercussions for child welfare. Allowing more work to be done from home is another viable option, especially for educated single mothers who have good labour market prospects. Other ways of helping single parents to balance work and family responsibilities involve improving the conditions of part-time work in terms of entitlements to leave and employee benefits. At present, Australian part-time employees receive pro rata entitlements to sick and carer's leave, parental leave and annual leave, with the exception of the recent legislative requirement that twelve months of unpaid parental leave be granted to employees who have been with the same employer for at least twelve months. However, employees are only considered part-time if their weekly hours of work are below the full-time average, measured at around 35 hours. This is at odds with the casual loading in hourly pay rates that is designed to compensate part-time employees for their lack of entitlements to leave and job security. Single parents who work just below this criterion may have to forgo leave entitlements in order to work the necessary hours to support their children. An international study of part-time nurses has found that even when entitlements to leave are equal, those who work on a full-time basis have better perceived health due to the difficulties part-timers face in taking leave when it is spread over many short periods.

4.3 Access to affordable childcare

Children benefit from the social interaction and educational readiness that results from their attendance in quality childcare. Single parents rely on affordable childcare in order to work, attend school or training, and it is essential that all children are able to access quality care and early learning. Despite the growing importance for children to receive some form of early childhood education, cost still remains a significant barrier to access, particularly for low-income single parent families. According to the Canadian Council on Social Development, child care fees for 2006 at a glance indicate that in all 72 cities throughout Canada, the median full-time daycare fee for an infant is higher than the average monthly social assistance benefit for a lone parent. Ranging from a low of $651 in Moncton to a high of $1683 in Toronto, the average monthly child care fees for an infant in a regulated child care facility across Canada was $881. For lone parent families in Canada, child care expenses incurred in order to allow the parent to enter or re-enter the workforce can be deducted from earned income for income tax purposes. The Child Care Expenses Deduction allows for child care expenses to a maximum of $4000 for each child under the age of seven, and $3000 for each child aged 7-16 to be claimed. As well, in Ontario, the new independent child care expense provides increased support to low- to moderate-income families currently receiving child care benefits under the National Child Benefit System and those waiting for child care fee subsidies. By providing approximately $200 per child, per month directly to families, this initiative is designed to provide more child care options by increasing the wage at which child care becomes financially worthwhile. These initiatives undoubtedly help some single parent families afford child care costs, yet high-earning families benefit the most as the deductions reduce taxable income. With no tax relief, this proposed lump-sum payment of $2400 per child only serves to replace other forms of government support for Ontario Works and Ontario Disability Support Program recipients, leaving them no further ahead than those receiving this child care benefits refundable income tax credit for high earners.

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Single-Parent Families Proposal

Introduction and rationale, inclusion criteria.

The growing number of single-parent families has become a matter of the growing professional concern. The most influential psychologists tried to explain its causes. The current state of empirical research has greatly improved the public and professional knowledge of single-parent families.

Nevertheless, many processes inherent in single parenthood remain poorly understood. The society is concerned about single parenthood for at least three reasons. First, the growing number of single-parent families has profound implications for the society’s economic wellbeing: single mothers and fathers often find it difficult to work full-day or spend long hours at work (Elwood & Jencks, 2006).

Many of them are also eligible for public assistance programs, because poverty is often inseparable from single parenthood. Zalewski et al. (2012) discovered that single parent status and poverty were co-occurring phenomena, and both these phenomena had the potential to compromise the quality of parenting processes and attitudes.

Another problem of single parenthood is that of psychology. The prevailing majority of Americans believe that single parenthood has disruptive impacts on children’s development and growth (Elwood & Jencks, 2006). Brown et al. (2008) explored the relationship between single parent status and the way children with chronic illnesses dealt with the problem.

The researchers found that single parents carried an excessive burden of care for their children, leaving fewer opportunities for extramarital and outside, community activities (Brown et al., 2008). Not surprisingly, the burden of care, coupled with the level of stress facing single parents, had extremely negative psychological impacts on children (Brown et al., 2008).

Finally, the growth of single-parent families raises numerous moral issues, because single parenthood is claimed to lead to disruptive social consequences (Elwood & Jencks, 2006).

Actually, single parenthood is one of the most controversial puzzles of the 21 st century: while objective data indicate a minor change in public values and perceptions of single parenthood and nonmarital childbearing, changes in social behaviors confirm a substantial shift in single parent notions and attitudes (Thornton, 2009). Over the course of the 20 th century, public views of nonmarital relationships and single parenthood became much more tolerant:

increasing acceptance of nonmarital sex and cohabitation because of the declining authority of religion and the increased emphasis on individual freedom and decreasing acceptance because of the drive to formalize union formation. (Thornton, 2009, p.233)

Nevertheless, not everyone accepts single parenthood as a feasible alternative to regular families.

All these problems and controversies justify further analysis of single parenthood and its implications for adolescents’ psychological development. This analysis should reconsider adolescents’ emotional reactions to single parenthood from within, since the objective criteria and consequences of being a single parent have been extensively explored.

Children and adolescents growing in single-parent families were reported to undergo serious mental and emotional changes, mainly due to the loneliness and family separation experiences early in life. MacCallum and Golombok (2004) showed that children, whose parents had been separated or divorced, displayed poorer patterns of psychological adjustment than the children, whose fathers were deceased.

The exposure to parental conflicts and its effects on children should not be disregarded: it is conflict that was found to be a serious predictor of children’s stress in single-parent families (MacCallum and Golombok, 2004). Yet, it is interesting to note that those difficulties and effects could not be generalized to the children, who were growing in a single-parent family since birth and who did not have any experiences of family separation or realignment (MacCallum & Golombok, 2004).

Those findings were earlier reported by Brody, Dorsey, Forehand and Armistead (2002), who wrote that not all children and adolescents from single-parent families displayed equally low levels of adjustment and self-regulation. Apparently, and according to Harold et al. (2013), interpersonal conflict and hostile parenting are primarily responsible for the externalizing behaviors and problems of children in single-parent families.

Despite the extensive body of literature, the way children and adolescents react to their social and family status remains unclear. Gupta and Kaur (2009) tried to understand how adolescents perceived their lives in single-parent families and the complexity of abusive parenting. Surprisingly, adolescents from single parent families perceived their parents as less abusive than their peers from intact families (Gupta & Kaur, 2009).

These differences could be explained by the objective differences in the amount of time spent by single parents with their children, compared to married parents: Kendig and Bianchi (2008) found that single mothers spent less time with their children than married parents. As a result, the scope of their abusive and punitive behaviors could be less significant than that of the married parents, who spent more time with their children.

At present, the study of adolescents’ emotional reactions to the single-parent status is very scarce. Gill, Sharma and Verma (2003) conducted a cross-sectional study of adolescents and their experiences of living in a single parent family. However, the study was conducted in the Indian context, and its results cannot be generalized to other cultural and social conditions. At the same time, earlier researchers confirmed the crucial impacts of family dynamics on adolescents’ beliefs, values, and principles.

Barber and Eccles (1992) explored the long-term influences of single parenting and divorce on adolescents’ family values. According to Barber and Eccles (1992), parental expectations of their children’s aspirations and achievements vary considerably, depending on their family status. On the one hand, children growing up with single mothers may reflect the fundamental negative characteristics of dissolved families that are presented in the media.

On the other hand, single mothers are likely to place special emphasis on occupational attainment and financial independence, which will predetermine the way their children work and live (Barber & Eccles, 1992). Living in a single-parent household has its benefits and limitations. Therefore, further research is needed to detect and explain adolescents’ perceptions of what it takes to live and grow up in a single-parent family.

The purpose of this study is to examine the way exposure to information about single-parent families impacts adolescents’ emotional attitudes towards their peers living in a single-parent household. In other words, the basic intent of the study is to see whether being informed about single-parent families or witnessing the life in a single-parent household changes adolescents’ emotional reactions to single-parent families. The study is experimental and quantitative. The following hypotheses are to be tested:

H1: Exposure to information about single-parent families improves adolescents’ attitudes toward their peers growing up in a single-parent household.

H2. Adolescents who are exposed to more information about single-parent families display better understanding of the problems facing their peers in single-parent households.

The project will involve only adolescents from regular families. The basic prediction is that adolescents from regular families will change their attitudes to the peers living in single-parent households and become more caring and tolerant towards such peers.

Participants

The sample will include twenty adolescents 14-16 years old from two public schools in New York. Both public schools will be located in the same district to avoid possible differences in the social and community context and their potential impacts on adolescents’ emotional responses. All twenty adolescents participating in the study will be from regular families. Both public schools will be located in a predominantly lower-status neighborhood. Special precautions to protect the study participants will have to be taken, given that adolescents from low-income families and are considered as vulnerable populations. Adolescents and their parents will have to provide an informed consent to participate in the study. Material incentives will be provided to motivate parents and their adolescent children to participate in the study.

Independent variable

Exposure to information about single-parent families is the independent variable.

Dependent variables

The main dependent variable is the way adolescents perceive their peers growing up in a single-parent household.

The main inclusion criteria are age (14-16 years) and family status (growing up in a regular family). Also, all participants will have to come from low-income families and display the level of academic achievement above average. Only adolescents with no history of divorce or living with a single parent will be enrolled in the study. This is the best way to reduce the threats to internal validity in the proposed study.

The study will incorporate the features of pretest-posttest-control-group design. The latter is the most appropriate choice for the proposed true experiment. According to Cottrell and McKenzie (2010), the proposed design is one of the strongest choices, whenever it comes to designing true experiments.

In the pretest-posttest-control-group design, participants are randomly assigned to both groups (Cottrell & McKenzie, 2010). Both are exposed to pretest and posttest experimental procedures. One of the key benefits of this experimental design is in that it allows testing for all possible between-group differences before the participants are subjected to experimental procedures (Cottrell & McKenzie, 2010).

At the same time, the inclusion of pretest interventions has the potential to limit the external validity of the method and its results (Cottrell & McKenzie, 2010). Still, between-subject designs, as Creswell (2002) calls them, are the most valid choice for the proposed study. Between-group experimental designs are used to compare two or more groups (Creswell, 2002). Randomization will ensure that the proposed study is a true experiment.

The chief materials that are to be used in the proposed experiment are the measurement scale to evaluate changes in adolescents’ attitudes towards single-parent families and the source of information about single-parent households.

The measurement scale to be used for the pretest and posttest procedures is based on the Attitudes toward Women Scale for Adolescents (AWSA), which was proposed and tested by Galambos, Petersen, Richards and Gitelson (1985). According to Galambos et al. (1985), adolescence is one of the most essential and, at the same time, confusing stages of the lifespan. Adolescents are particularly susceptible to the impacts of public attitudes and stereotypes (Galambos et al., 1985).

Moreover, stereotypes and sexist attitudes are more common for adolescents than other age groups (Galambos et al., 1985). This is why adolescents are the most appropriate target population for the proposed study. At the same time, the choice of the discussed measurement scale is justified by the growing body of evidence supporting its validity and reliability, when applied in adolescent populations (Galambos et al., 1985).

Another material to be used in this experiment is the movie the adolescent participants will watch. It is Baby Boom with Diane Keaton starring. It is the story of a successful business woman, whose life changes dramatically, when she has to adopt a baby girl from one of her distant relatives.

The choice of the movie as a research material is justified by the fact that it sends a positive message about single parenting and shows that single mothers deserve their chance for happiness. Earlier researchers used to depict single parenting as inherently pathological and myopic (Dickerson, 1995).

Some of them even associated single parenting with deviance and uncontrolled sexuality (Dickerson, 1995). The proposed research does not seek to expose adolescents to negative and stereotypical messages about being a single mother or a single father. The proposed fiction movie will present positive information about the pros and cons of single parenting in a fascinating and entertaining way.

The choice of the movie echoes the emerging disagreement with the predominantly negative image of single-parent families in the media. Particularly in the divorce literature, the image of single parenting is negative (Baber & Eccles, 1992). Single-parent families, especially those with a history of divorce, are believed to have severely negative impacts on adolescents’ psychosocial functioning (Barber & Eccles, 1992). The proposed study rests on the assumption that being in a single-parent family is not as bad as it seems.

This idea also reflects the professional concerns expressed by Barber and Eccles (1992): the psychological and sociological research tradition must move beyond the negative image of single parenting. Certainly, how adolescents react to the experimental conditions in the proposed study cannot be predicted. However, the message that is to be sent to the members of the experimental group is that single parenting is not as negative and disrupting for children as it may seem.

Random assignment. The random assignment process will be one of the most responsible elements of the proposed study. The process will resemble a lottery, and all research participants will have equal chances to be assigned either to the experimental or the control group.

For the twenty participants, twenty slips of paper will be used, ten of them labeled as “E” (experimental) and the other ten labeled as “C” (control). These slips of paper will be thrown into a bin and shuffled. All participants will be asked to take one slip of paper from the bin. The numbers and slips of paper will be arranged by the researcher before the adolescent participants enter the room.

Recruitment process. Twenty adolescents will be recruited to participate in the study. A general meeting will be held with the adolescent participants and their parents to explain the purpose of the project and its possible outcomes. At the end of the meeting, the adolescents and their parents will be asked to sign the informed consent form.

At the same time, meetings with the experimental and control groups will be arranged. The research process will take place in an educational center, in a small room. The procedure will involve only the researcher and the adolescent participants. They will not have to provide any personally identifiable information.

Research procedure. The research procedure will start with a general meeting of the experimental and control group in an educational center, where the participants will complete the discussed attitudes scale. The goal of this procedure is to identify what adolescents feel about their peers from single-parent families, before they are exposed to the experimental condition.

Then, the experimental group will stay in the room to watch the movie, while the control group will spend its time playing and doing physical exercises. The adolescents in the experimental group will be free to discuss their emotions and attitudes with one another, while watching the movie.

Once the experimental group finishes watching the movie, its members will have to complete the same attitude scale. Afterwards, the control group will be brought to the room to complete the same scale. The need to separate the two groups in the posttest condition is justified by the risks of between-group interactions and their potential impacts on external validity (Cottrell & McKenzie, 2010).

The results of the study will be obtained through a detailed statistical analysis of the research participants’ responses. Both descriptive and inferential statistics will be used to describe and interpret the results. Descriptive statistics are used to describe the essence of the data that was collected from the sample (Weinberg & Abramowitz, 2002).

Inferential statistics are used to make inferences from the data that were recovered from the sample participants (Weinberg & Abramowitz, 2002). Descriptive statistics will be used to create a general picture of adolescents’ attitudes towards their peers from single-parent families, while inferential statistics will help explain the way exposure to information about single parenting changes (or does not change) these attitudes.

SPSS has proved to be a reliable instrument of data analysis in psychology research. Brace, Kemp and Shelgar (2006) write that SPSS has already become an “industry standard” for statistical psychology research (p.2). SPSS will significantly reduce the time and costs of the statistical data analysis in the proposed study.

The proposed study is quantitative, aimed to test the following hypotheses:

The procedure of data evaluation and interpretation will be based on the results of statistical analysis (both descriptive and inferential) with the help of SPSS. The responses and themes emerged from the adolescents in the experimental group will be compared to those in the control group. In light of the purpose and intent of the proposed study, the following outcomes are possible.

First, it is possible that being exposed to information about single parenting will impact adolescents’ emotional reactions to peers growing up in single-parent households.

As a result, adolescents who are growing up in regular families and do not have any history of divorce or living with a single parent may develop either more negative or more positive emotional reactions to the movie. Positive emotions may result from the earlier findings that children perceive single-parent families as less abusive than adolescents in regular families (Gupta & Kaur, 2009).

It is also possible that the movie itself will send a more positive message of single parenting, thus making adolescents more tolerant towards their peers from single-parent families. Negative emotions may be related to the problems, which adolescents in single-parent families face in terms of psychological adjustment and relationships with the single parent (MacCallum & Golombok, 2004; Harold et al., 2013).

Such negative emotions may also be associated with the fact that single parents spend less time with their children than parents in regular families (Kendig & Bianchi, 2008). The movie tells a story of a working woman with a small child, and adolescents may see that single mothers do not always have enough time to spend with their children. Hopefully, the movie will expose more positive sides of single parenting and create a balanced picture of what it takes to live with a single mother.

Second, it is possible that adolescents in the experimental group and the members of the control group will display similar emotional reactions to single parenthood (negative or positive). It is possible that exposure to information about single parenthood will not affect the attitudes of the adolescents enrolled in the experimental group.

As mentioned previously, today’s society has become much more tolerant to single parenthood and nonmarital childbearing (Brown et al., 2008). Adolescents may not be secured from these influences. Their beliefs and values may reflect those of the society, in general. In any case, the results will be evaluated against the existing research, and their implications for the future study of single-parent families will be provided.

The growing body of research provides interesting and useful knowledge of the way single parenthood impacts children’s psychological development. Unfortunately, what exactly adolescents in regular families feel about their peers growing up in single-parent households remains unclear.

The goal of the proposed study is to test the way adolescents perceive their peers, who live with a single mother or single father. Moreover, the proposed study will seek to identify any differences in adolescents’ feelings towards single parenthood, depending on whether or not they are exposed to any additional information about single parenthood.

The study will be quantitative, and attitude measurement scales will be used to analyze adolescents’ pretest and posttest responses. Exposure to information about single parents will serve as an independent variable, with adolescents’ attitudes towards their peers from single families being a dependent variable. Randomization will ensure that the proposed study is a true experiment.

The results will be generated through the statistical analysis of adolescents’ responses through SPSS. Descriptive and inferential statistics will be used to explain and interpret the quantitative results. It is possible that, under the influence of additional information about single parenting, adolescents growing up in regular families will improve their attitudes toward those peers, who are growing up with a single parent.

The opposite result is also quite possible. At the same time, it is possible to expect that exposure to information will not impact adolescents’ perceptions of peers from single-parent households. In any case, all participants will be free to obtain the fullest information about the study and refuse from participation at any stage of the project. The results of the study will inform future counseling practices targeting adolescents from single-parent families.

Barber, B.L. & Eccles, J.S. (1992). Long-term influence of divorce and single parenting on adolescent family- and work-related values, behaviors, and aspirations. Psychological Bulletin, 111 (1), 108-126.

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Guest Essay

The Explosive Rise of Single-Parent Families Is Not a Good Thing

By Melissa S. Kearney

Ms. Kearney is the author of the forthcoming book “The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind.”

There has been a huge transformation in the way children are raised in the United States: the erosion of the convention of raising children inside a two-parent home. This shift is often not publicly challenged or lamented, in an effort to be inclusive of a diversity of family arrangements. But this well-meaning acceptance obscures the critical reality that this change is hurting our children and our society.

The share of American children living with married parents has dropped considerably: In 2019, only 63 percent lived with married parents, down from 77 percent in 1980. Cohabitation hardly makes up for the difference in these figures. Roughly a quarter of children live in a one-parent home, more than in any other country for which data is available. Despite a small rise in two-parent homes since 2012, the overall trend persists.

This is not a positive development. The evidence is overwhelming: Children from single-parent homes have more behavioral problems, are more likely to get in trouble in school or with the law, achieve lower levels of education and tend to earn lower incomes in adulthood. Boys from homes without dads present are particularly prone to getting in trouble in school or with the law.

Making the trend particularly worrisome is the wide class divide underneath it. In my research, I found that college-educated parents have largely continued to have and raise their children in two-parent homes. It is parents with less than a four-year college degree who have moved away from marriage, and two-parent homes, in large numbers. Only 60 percent of children who live with mothers who graduated from high school, or who have some college education but did not graduate, lived with married parents in 2020, a whopping 23 percentage point drop since 1980. Again, cohabitation does not erase the education divide. Neither does looking at the numbers across race and ethnic groups.

The result is less economic security for affected households and even wider inequality across households and childhood environments than economic changes would have wrought alone.

College-educated adults have seen their earnings rise over recent decades, and they have continued to get married at relatively high rates, typically to one another. Their household income has grown considerably. Meanwhile, adults without a college degree have experienced declining rates of employment and relatively modest increases in wages, while becoming more likely to set up households without a spouse or a partner. As a result of the decline in marriage, the economic security of the high-school educated has weakened even more.

A higher level of income is a key mechanism through which married parents transmit advantages to their children. One-parent homes generally do not have the same income as two-parent homes, even when we compare the homes of mothers of the same age, education level, race and state of residence. This largely reflects a simple fact of math: Two adults have the capacity to earn more than one. Even if one thinks, as I do, that the United States should provide more support to low-income families with children in order to help children thrive and also to secure a stronger work force and future for our country, we will most likely never have a government program that fully compensates single parents with the equivalent of the annual earnings of a spouse who works full-time.

Congress allowed the expanded child tax credit to expire at the end of 2021, rejecting a policy that provided families who met certain income thresholds with annual tax credits of $3,000 per child age 6 to 18 and $3,600 per child under 6. What are the odds that the government will start providing one-parent families with, say, benefits equal to the median earnings of an adult with a high school degree, which comes to around $44,000 a year? I would put the odds at zero. As long as that’s the case, income gaps between one- and two-parent homes will be substantial, and income matters a lot for kids’ prospects and futures.

Income differences are not the only driver of differences in outcomes. A second committed adult in the home can contribute considerable time and energy to taking care of children. We can and should do more as a society to try to compensate for these gaps in parental investments. But again, it is highly unlikely that government or community programs could ever provide children from one-parent homes with a comparable amount of the supervision, nurturing, guidance or help that children from healthy two-parent homes receive. That means a generation of children will grow up more likely to get in trouble and less likely to reach their potential than if they had the benefits of two parents in their homes.

It is an economic imperative to break the vicious cycle of a widening class gap in family structure — and more generally, a high share of one-parent homes outside all but the most highly educated groups in society.

That won’t be easy to do. For decades, academics, journalists and advocates have taken a “live and let live” view of family structure. Mostly this reflects a well-intentioned effort to avoid stigmatizing single mothers and to promote acceptance and respect for different family arrangements. But benign intentions have obscured the uncomfortable reality that children do better when they are raised in two-parent homes.

The result is the widespread normalization of one-parent homes outside the college-educated class and woefully little public support for programs aimed at strengthening families. Only 1 percent of the budget of the federal Administration for Children and Families is allocated to “promoting safe and stable families,” as compared to, for example, 15 percent for foster care.

On the other side of the issue, there are people inclined to blame single mothers for having or raising children outside of marriage. But it is not helpful to blame or shame women who are faced with the difficult choice between parenting alone or living with a partner who is an economic or emotional drain on the family. Surely we as a society can openly recognize the advantages of a two-parent home for children and offer a variety of kinds of support to couples who struggle to achieve a stable two-parent family arrangement without stigmatizing single parents and their children. Crucially, we need to bolster parents’ own capacity to thrive and be reliable providers for themselves and their children — including fathers, who were often left out of the conversation.

The issue is complicated, and solutions will necessarily be multifaceted. Just as scholars, journalists and policymakers acknowledge the need to improve schools and debate various reform ideas, those of us who discuss and debate questions of society and policy should be frank about the advantages of a healthy two-parent home for children and challenge ourselves to come up with ways to promote and support that institution.

We need to work more to understand why so many American parents are raising their children without a second parent in the home, and we must find effective ways to strengthen families in order to increase the share of children raised in healthy, stable two-parent homes. Doing so will improve the well-being of millions of children, help close class gaps and create a stronger society for us all.

Melissa S. Kearney is an economics professor at the University of Maryland and author of the forthcoming book “ The Two-Parent Privilege: How Americans Stopped Getting Married and Started Falling Behind .”

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Essay on Single Parenting: Two Parents Or One?

• Essay on Single Parenting: Two…

Family life is much different today than what it used to be. Several years ago mothers would stay at home with their children while the father went to work to support his family, but it is nothing like that today in American households.

Today it is common for children to be raised by just one of their parents, and those children are often disadvantaged in several ways. The most consistent finding from studies of family structure shows that single parents exert weaker controls and make fewer demands on their children than married families do (Curtin et al. 368). There is a real easy explanation for this problem, it is the simple fact that two parents together make more rules and are more likely to stick by those rules than single parents are (Curtin et al. 368).

Single parents are not able to show the same emotions as married couples can because the love between a mother and a father plays an important part in a family. Children learn how to love from their parents, but if both parents are not there to teach them how to love, their love might be somewhat one-sided (Curtin et al. 371).

Yes, single parents can show their love toward their children, but they have no spouse to express love to. Children from single-parent families are therefore denied the learning experience of how a husband and a wife should love one another (Curtin et al. 369).

Relationships are another thing that everyone needs, especially children. Children need a real strong relationship between themselves and their parents, but children from single-parent families are usually denied this privilege because they are separated from one of their parents and often do not get to spend adequate time with the other.

Children who have a strong relationship with their parents are more likely to respect the authority of their parents (Curtin et al. 370). The problem with a single parent is the fact that usually, the single parent does not have the time to help the child develop a close relationship with them.

Another problem is how a child can build a strong relationship with a parent they do not live with and often do not see on a regular basis. The simple fact is that children need both of their parents in the household to build a close relationship with and to teach them to respect the parent’s authority. True, not all children from two-parent households have close relationships with their parents, but it is much more likely.

Gender also plays an important role in families. Men and women have very different characteristics, both emotionally and physically. These different characteristics contribute to their roles as mothers and fathers (Curtin et al. 369). For instance, men are normally much stronger physically than women and are therefore able to do many things around the house that a woman cannot.

Women are much more likely to do the everyday household chores while the man does the heavy-duty work. Women usually tend more to the children when they need things than do the men, and also help them more with emotional type problems (Curtin et al. 369). So it is easy to see why having both parents in the household makes a much more well-rounded family atmosphere.

When both parents are not in the household, children experience a great deal of stress from different aspects of their lives. This stress often comes from children who are forced into independence and self-reliance before they are mature enough to cope (“Children” 58).

Many single parents leave their children at home or send them to low-quality daycare centers while they are at work, causing stress on the children (“Children” 60). Yes, two-parent families often leave their children at home or send them to low-quality daycares, but studies show that it is ten times more likely to happen in single-parent families (“Children” 59).

Another time that brings a great deal of stress to single-parent homes is the holidays. The holidays are a time when families should be together. Single parents may not be able to provide this for their children (“Holidays” 3). Another problem that arises during the holidays is that of gift competition between the parents (“Holidays” 3). The problem with the parents competing over who gets the best gift is the fact that the children often feel as if the parents want to buy their love instead of earning it by showing them love.

Children of single-parent homes also face stress by always worrying about everything that is going on in their lives. According to Richard Kinsey single-parent children worried more about school, family, future, finding work, crime, and their environment by a large margin (16). However, the biggest worry of these children was about their own personal loves and what was going to happen to them as they grew up (Kinsey 16).

Richard Kinsey also did a survey on crimes committed by children in both two-parent homes and single-parent homes. He found that children in two-parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 59%, but children from single-parent homes self-reported committing crimes at a rate of 74% (16). This survey gives a strong emphasis on how important the respect of authority is for children. It also showed how children from single-parent homes are more likely to commit crimes than children from two-parent homes.

Single-parent homes not only reflect or cause stress upon children but also upon the parent. Single mothers especially feel stress when a father figure is not present (Allen et al. 390). According to the survey done by Katherine Allen and Peggy Quinn, seventy percent of the single mothers reported that they always worried about money (390).

Not only was money a big issue, but also time and energy (392). These single mothers are put under pressure from about every aspect of their lives, and without a husband there to help raise a family, pay the bills, and show them love, the single mother must nearly feel hopeless.

Another big stress for single mothers is the fact that now they have the responsibility of two parents (Allen et al. 392). One woman describes how she felt: “And on the weekends then, mow the yard, and clean the house, and wash the clothes.

When you get done doing that, it’s Monday all over again” (Allen et al. 392). Most parents from two-parent homes realize the responsibility they have and the stress that they face with a spouse there to support them, but just imagine that spouse not being there to help support and help with the responsibilities of the family and that is exactly what it is like to be a single parent.

Now we have seen the pressures that single mothers face, but what about single fathers because there are many of them in the world today. One example can be found in the article ” A Singular Experience,” by Brad Andrews. Andrews himself is a single father and he discusses the overwhelming responsibilities of being a single father (8). He now has to do all of the household chores and take care of the children all by himself.

He can no longer play catch with his son after dinner because now he has to do the dishes (8). These single-parent situations create instability and do not provide a positive environment for children to grow up in. Both a father and a mother are needed to create a stable environment and a positive place for children to live.

Another example is the article “Single Fathers With Custody” by Alfred DeMaris and Geoffrey Grief. DeMaris and Grief explain the fact that single fathers experience the same worries and overwhelming responsibilities that single mothers do. Fathers face financial worries, pressures from work, and pressure of time for themselves and their children (DeMaris et al. 260).

The simple fact is that being a single parent is a very difficult task, whether it is a single father or a single mother. A family consists of a father and a mother with their children, not just one parent. Single-parent homes create a lot of stress and worries on the parent as well as the children, and the stress and worries are not needed by either. After all, it takes two to make a child; it should take two to raise a child.

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Author:  William Anderson (Schoolworkhelper Editorial Team)

Tutor and Freelance Writer. Science Teacher and Lover of Essays. Article last reviewed: 2022 | St. Rosemary Institution © 2010-2024 | Creative Commons 4.0

This was definitely written by a teenager that lives with two parents.

You do not know that, I’ve lived with one parents all my life and some of these things I would agree with.

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Argumentative Single Parents

This essay about the crime rates among single-parent households examines the nuanced differences between single mothers and single fathers. It highlights how external factors like poverty and societal biases, rather than the gender of the parent, play a more significant role in influencing crime rates. The discussion points out that single mothers often face harsher economic conditions and scrutiny, which can impact their children’s exposure to crime. On the other hand, single fathers, despite better economic standings, struggle with societal expectations and a lack of supportive structures, which can also affect their children. The essay argues for a broader societal effort to support all single-parent families by addressing economic disparities and social stigmas to foster environments conducive to positive child development and reduce crime.

How it works

Traversing the intricacies of solitary parenthood constitutes an inherently formidable expedition, regardless of whether it’s a lone matriarch or patriarch at the helm. However, delving into the realm of single-parent families within the context of criminal statistics demands a nuanced approach, teeming with sensitivity and a profound comprehension of socio-economic and cultural intricacies. The discourse on solo mothers versus solo fathers concerning crime rates encompasses various facets of societal configuration, law enforcement perceptions, and the burdens borne by solo-parent households.

Initially, it’s imperative to elucidate that establishing a direct correlation between single parenthood and criminality necessitates meticulous scrutiny. Studies indicate that crime prevalence among solitary-parent families is frequently influenced more by extrinsic elements such as impoverishment, neighborhood crime prevalence, and educational accessibility rather than the parent’s gender. Nonetheless, societal prejudices and stereotypes occasionally paint a dissimilar tableau, hinting at subtleties that warrant closer examination.

Historically, solo mothers have been subject to considerable scrutiny in discussions concerning family structure and criminality. They are disproportionately ensconced in lower economic strata, a variable that research demonstrates is more tightly interwoven with criminal activity than familial composition itself. Solo mothers frequently grapple with formidable hurdles such as diminished earning potential and restricted access to resources, which can obliquely impact their progeny. Research suggests that offspring in economically challenged solo-mother households may encounter augmented opportunities for delinquency, not as a consequence of maternal incapacity, but due to fiscal deprivation and attendant societal and environmental factors.

Conversely, solo fathers confront a discrete array of tribulations and perceptions. While they are less predisposed to abject poverty than solo mothers, they are not impervious to the vicissitudes that can sway familial stability and progeny outcomes. Solo fathers may reap the benefits of societal prejudices that favor masculine earning prowess, yet they also contend with an absence of supportive communal structures that are more readily accessible to solo mothers. The stigma surrounding male susceptibility and the cultural anticipations for men to be less invested in child-rearing can impede solo fathers from seeking or receiving assistance, potentially fostering milieus where antisocial behavior could proliferate among their offspring.

Furthermore, the interplay between law enforcement and solitary-parent families can diverge contingent on whether a solo mother or father is implicated. Gender-based disparities may surface in how solitary parents are perceived and treated by society and law enforcement, potentially influencing outcomes for their progeny. For instance, solo fathers might elicit greater empathy, viewed as assuming a role that traditionally isn’t theirs, whereas solo mothers might face more stringent judgment, engendering disparate stressors that impact family dynamics.

It’s also germane to contemplate the resilience evinced by both solo mothers and fathers in the face of these adversities. Many solitary-parent households defy odds, fostering nurturing and supportive atmospheres conducive to positive progeny development. The triumph tales of progeny from solitary-parent families who traverse the trajectory toward productive, crime-free livelihoods stand as testimonials to the fortitude and resolve of their progenitors.

In summation, while the discourse on solo mothers versus solo fathers concerning crime rates is intricate, it’s evident that economic and societal factors wield a more profound influence than the single parent’s gender. Endeavors to bolster solitary-parent families, regardless of whether helmed by a mother or father, should center on assuaging poverty, augmenting educational accessibility, and dismantling stigmas and stereotypes that deleteriously impact these families. Grasping and addressing the broader societal quandaries that shape these dynamics will profoundly aid in buttressing solitary parents and fostering environs where progeny can flourish, steering clear of paths leading toward criminality.

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Watch CBS News

A look at the growing trend of women becoming single parents by choice

By Nikki Battiste

May 9, 2024 / 7:51 PM EDT / CBS News

New York City — Up against her biological clock, Traci Kodeck faced a tough decision at age 39.

She says she remembered the moment she decided to have a baby on her own.

"I was with my best friend, and I said, 'I don't have a partner, I need to be a mom,'" Kodeck told CBS News.

She emptied her savings to cover fertility treatments, ultimately using sperm donated by a friend. After three years of trying, she had Zola.

"Then it was, 'Oh my gosh, I'm taking home a human.' And she was perfect," Kodeck said.

Kodeck belongs to the organization Single Mothers by Choice. Its 30,000 members are part of a growing trend of women having babies alone because they're tired of waiting for "the one," or they simply want to parent solo, like Emma Ramos, mother to 2-year-old Michael.

She describes her life as a single mother by choice as "beautiful chaos."

As a teenager, Ramos dreamed of having a child, not a partner. Modern attitudes have helped make that possible. According to a Pew Research Center  survey from last year, 78% of Americans find single parenting acceptable. Although more, 93%, support a two-parent household.

"That speaks to the misconception...that we have somehow purposefully handicapped our children by…only bringing them into the world with one parent," Ramos said.

Ramos admits that the responsibility of shouldering the decision-making for her family does come with challenges.

"Decision-making, I would say, is a blessing," Ramos said. "But then, I suppose, if I make the wrong decision, I'm the only one…to blame, I guess."

Zola Kodeck recently turned 11, just in time for Mother's Day.

"Having a single mom by choice can be hard, like when you're first growing up, but then my mom just wanted me, nobody else," Zola said. "…Every day to me is like a Mother's Day."

"Everything I do, I do for her," Traci said of her daughter. "This house is for her. My job, it's all for her."

Nikki Battiste is a CBS News national correspondent based in New York. She is an Emmy and Peabody-award winning journalist, and her reporting appears across all CBS News broadcasts and platforms.

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9 Ways To Build a Secure Financial Future as a Single Parent in Modern Times

H ouseholds headed by a single parent are becoming more frequent in the United States, with younger generations, typically Millennials (born 1982-1996) and Generation Z (born 1997-2012), finding traditional nuclear family structures obsolete.

Nowadays, many young parents opt to adopt or raise a child by themselves. The research found that nearly a quarter of American children under the age of 18 lived with one parent and no other adults in 2019. The U.S. has the highest share of children living with only one parent compared to other developed nations.

Other statistics showed that in 2023, around 15.09 million children lived with their mothers, while about 3.05 million were being raised in a household headed by a single father.

All of this research points to the increasing awareness of more households in the U.S., either having a single parent or children sharing households among their parents. Although many often claim that divorce, separation, death, or having a child outside of a relationship are the biggest reasons for children being raised by a single parent, new studies have actually shown that younger parents are finding marriage and traditions as absolute.

Roughly 46 percent of Millennials and 44 percent of GenXers (born 1965-1980) now say that marriage is becoming obsolete, looking to create a more blended family dynamic where children can be raised in single or dual-income households.

Typical single household earnings

Although many younger parents are looking to raise a child independently, without a partner, the financial implications of raising a child have become increasingly problematic, especially in the United States.

New data suggests that around 32 percent of single moms earn $40,000 and more, while only 10 percent of single mothers bring home more than $80,000 per year.

Other research by the Pew Research Center has found that single mothers or solo mothers have the highest poverty rate per household, with 30 percent living in poverty and only 17 percent of solo fathers.

Around 16 percent of cohabiting couples are said to live in poverty, while the minority, 8 percent of married couple households, earn below the poverty threshold.

Most recent analysis showed that the U.S. poverty threshold for a family of four is $29,960, while with an individual that can be as little as $14,891 per annum.

With the cost of living sharply rising over recent years due to record-high inflation, single parents have had the most challenging time adjusting to higher costs of essentials, including groceries, utilities, and housing. That excludes having enough money to cover other expenses such as child care, school fees, and transportation and having enough left to put away in an emergency fund.

How to budget more effectively as a single parent in modern America

As if being a single parent wasn’t already an expense, or hard enough, juggling both career and family responsibilities, rising costs, and economic uncertainty have only made a deeper dent in single-family households’ expenses in recent years.

Having a budget is now more crucial than ever before, and for single parents, planning for their child’s future to help secure their future is becoming increasingly challenging for many.

However, despite eye-watering costs, there are ways you can budget as a single parent and still have a bit of cash left each month to put towards an emergency fund, social security, or savings.

Know where your money is going

One of the best ways to start budgeting as a single parent is by knowing where your money goes each month. While you may have already been making some cutbacks, and trying to live as frugal as possible, without clear indication or proof of where all your money is being spent, you’ll have difficulty keeping track of your expenses.

Gather as many bills, bank statements, and payslips as you have. By conducting an analysis of your income and keeping a score of your expenses, you’ll begin to have a better picture of everything you’ve received and all the money that has been spent.

Consider how much you are making compared to how much you’ve spent. You’ll also need to look at things such as any debt(s) you may owe, and how much you are putting aside into your savings each month.

By visualizing your finances, you will begin to see where you may have been spending more money on things that you will need to cut back on, while other things, such as debt or savings can receive a bit of attention.

Create a realistic roadmap

Once you’ve gathered all of the information, consider planning a possible roadmap that can help you better understand how you can begin to puzzle everything together in a way that makes sense to you.

The four main budget categories to consider include:

For each paycheck you’ve received, consider how much money you’ve brought home and where those checks have been spent. By looking at your expenses, you’ll better understand what are the things that may be eating deeper into your pockets each month.

On top of this, you can consider any debt which you may be carrying. Clearing any debt is one of the best and perhaps easiest ways to reduce any unnecessary expenses, and divert more cash towards other things.

However, it’s essential to remain realistic about these things, as you don’t want to burden yourself or make too many lifestyle changes that could lead you or your children to live an even more uncomfortable lifestyle.

Pay off small and high-interest debt

As a rule of thumb, one of the best ways to reduce your debt burden is to pay off any small accounts or high-interest-bearing debt as quickly as possible.

Dusty McMullin, Vice President of Operations at Sibu Sea Berry Therapy, a specialty supplement and functional foods company, says, “One of the best rules our father taught my brother, Peter, and I about debt is to pay any small debt off first.”

Dusty and Peter McMullin are second-generation entrepreneurs now managing partners at their father, Bruce McMullin’s business, which he founded in 2004.

Any small debt, whether $100 or $1,000, can become a heavy burden on your household’s finances each month. Creating a debt repayment plan will ensure that you can steadily begin to lighten the burden, making small monthly contributions or covering the accounts in full by paying a lump sum amount.

However, before doing this, ensure you have enough cash in reserve to help carry you through the month or cover other expenses. Although it’s essential to pay off all debts you may have, doing so at the expense of your family can deter your financial well-being.

Budget for debt and savings after expenses

On the topic of paying off debt, another easy way to begin balancing your household’s books is by following a simple equation that many people use to budget for their monthly expenses, including debt and savings.

Following the 50/30/20 rule allows you to allocate enough of your income towards your household expenses (50%) and necessities, including debt (30%), and the remaining 20% is reserved for savings.

Take your income, subtract your expenses, and you’re in the green if you have any cash left. Any remaining cash will then need to be divided into things such as your necessities, which can be purchased, such as services and goods, and also debt.

Any remaining cash you have left can be deposited into a high-yield savings account separate from your existing checking account to ensure you don’t unnecessarily or knowingly spend that cash.

Open a high-yield savings account

“Saving for a rainy day, especially as you’re starting, is one of the best financial decisions any person can make,” says Dusty. He further says, “Having something to fall back on is crucial. And while it’s perhaps harder these days to save, seeing as high costs continue to eat into consumers’ disposable income, every little bit of money put towards a savings account can amount to something bigger in the long-term.”

A separate high-yield savings account would mean you can deposit any remaining cash into this account and leave it to grow. Using this account as a safety net, you can motivate yourself to save towards something that will provide you with a substantial return when you need it the most.

Be more practical with your spending habits

While some things are more important than others, being more practical with your money would allow you to stretch every dollar and penny you have in your account.

Things such as buying in bulk or doing your monthly grocery shopping at a wholesale food outlet would allow you to save more and instead stock up on necessary items that can last longer. Comparison shopping is also another way to ensure you get the best possible price for any item you may need.

You can further purchase in-store brands instead of more specialized products or items. Buy things that will last longer in your fridge or freezer that won’t spoil too quickly, or plan your meals each week, indicating how much you can spend on groceries and other items.

You can also make additional cutbacks around your home, such as canceling any expensive subscriptions, choosing more budget-friendly options for things such as streaming services, or splitting the costs with a friend or family member.

For more significant purchases such as household items, search for better deals online or even on second-hand marketplaces. You can always shop for furniture at the local thrift store or a nearby hospice store.

Get into the habit of controlling what you can

As a single parent, you already have a lot on your plate that you need to deal with in your day-to-day life, and having additional financial stress is perhaps the last thing you want to consider when going to bed at night.

Dusty says, “At our business, the wheels can fall off at any moment, and while we always need to plan for these moments, however, during these times, we encourage our team members to focus on those obstacles they can control, before having to tackle additional problems.”

This can often be applied in our own lives as well. By focusing on those financial pain points we can control right now, such as having too much debt, or running out of cash each month because our expenses outweigh the money we make, we can actively do something to make slight improvements.

Remember that everything takes time. While you may be making slight cutbacks here and there, you’ll eventually reap the rewards thereof in the near future.

Talk to your children about money

This may be a subject that is often heavily debated among parents and caretakers, however, it’s important to talk to children about money, especially from an impressionable age.

As a parent, you can decide for yourself what is the best way to approach the scenario, but taking the time to teach your children the value of money or how to work with an income and expenses can help them better understand how money works once they start making their own.

According to experts at the Child Mind Institute — talking to children about money, whether this may be teaching them how to set up a budget, or even showing them how your household expenses work, will teach them financial responsibility.

More than this, some suggest that teaching children about money from a very young age will help them make better financial decisions, allow them to know when to set limits, and reduce the urge to impulse buy.

Whatever your parenting style or technique, consider finding a workable solution that allows you to share financial knowledge with your children . Try to make it fun for them to understand better, or look for ways to incorporate smart spending when you’re out doing a monthly grocery haul.

Try to share expenses

Where possible, find a workable solution that allows you to share your household expenses with your partner, a friend, or a family member. While the topic of money can always feel like a sensitive subject for someone, addressing the elephant in the room will help clear the air, especially if there is more than one parent in the mix.

Try to find a way where both you and your partner can split certain costs, such as child care or other expenses related to the kids. If you’re a single parent with no other dependents, consult with a family member or friend and see whether they would be open to moving in together, allowing you to split rent and utility bills.

Approaching a family member could be another option. Where possible, see if they can help you out by renting a bedroom or two in their house or maybe even allowing you to split other expenses, such as subscription costs or internet bills.

While it’s not always easy to talk about money with others, informing others that you need help will perhaps encourage them to know that you are relying on them, at least until you can find your feet again.

Wrapping Up

Being a single parent is perhaps one of the most challenging jobs in today’s economic climate, and things are only more challenging for those who have to endure these struggles themselves.

As the main breadwinner of your household, you must ensure that you have complete control over every dollar you earn and spend each. As a parent, you want to ensure you can provide for your children and help them secure a prosperous future.

Approach your financial situation with an open mind, and make the necessary cutbacks if needed. Rely on your instincts to make hard decisions and focus on what you can control right now.

While these can all be challenging moments in your life as a parent, taking a small step forward each day begins to make a big difference in the long-term financial well-being of your family.

Featured Image Credit: Photo by Kindel Media; Pexels

The post 9 Ways To Build a Secure Financial Future as a Single Parent in Modern Times  appeared first on Due .

To the moms all alone on Mother's Day, I see you and you are enough.

Most of my 14 years of motherhood felt like Mother’s Day was spent alone, including some of the years I was married.

Every May, when the second Sunday in May comes around, I think of the women who are where I was in multiple places of my mother journey: scared, alone and envious of the moms with a supportive partner at home.

This year, I've written a letter to every single mother struggling to celebrate herself today, who feels inferior to the other families she sees.

When the flowers don't come, when there are no "thank yous," when there is no one posting our picture, I want us to remember where our gift truly lies.

To our kids, this is the life and this love is enough. So, we can raise our glass.

Dear, single mom on Mother's Day

Maybe you woke up a little early today to give yourself the gift of solitude. There is no one to tag in at the end of the day. It’s exhausting.

You might get a few minutes before feelings of inadequacy come flooding in. You are reminded of all the things you can't do, never seeing all that you have. You wonder how a single-parent home is affecting your kids, who will be down in a matter of moments.

Then, the day will begin just like any other day.

Maybe there were once flowers waiting for you. Maybe there were never flowers at all. You may find crumpled up Mother's Day art in your kids' backpack today, but they may not recognize that there should be anything to celebrate.

You will prepare every meal, answer every request, create every moment, wipe every tear and calm every fear. But your requests will be left unmet, your moments 60 seconds at a time, your tears wiped by your own hand and your fears, ever ponding.

Yet every day you show up and you do it, maybe with a little envy for the two-parent home down the street, because it's hard to be a full-time parent and a full-time provider. You can't possibly do either perfectly well.

If you're feeling discouraged today, seeing only your lack, look inside.

You are the creator of all the good that you see.

Tonight, when you tuck in your kids, witness your gifts.

There may have not been anything on the table this morning, you may have cleaned up the house and cooked every meal, but there is peace in the room. There is joy on their faces. There is a tangible love providing security like the blanket wrapped around their feet.

Your family is not inferior.

You are enough. Your kids know it, and some day someone else will too.

But it has to start with you.

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Your married friend may be struggling, too

Single mothers should know that married mothers aren't necessarily better supported. Sure, they may have flowers, but just like you, they have learned how to water themselves.

There were Mother's Days when all I felt was hollow. There were flowers, photos, dinners and lots of hugs, but it obscured a darker reality. Presence doesn't equal support. Lonely doesn't equal alone.

Knowing my "enoughness" led me back into singleness and back to the mother I've always been. So, cherish where you are and never trade your peace for support. Recognize yourself and celebrate this day.

Last year, I bought myself a bouquet of wildflowers, and this year, I bought myself a few.

My gift is this home I've created and the peace I feel at night. Sure, it may be a little messy, but it is far from inferior.

When I release my kids into the world, they will take this love that they've been given and begin planting it in places of their own, definitely better than if they had grown up in our broken two-parent home.

Yet I know that you, like me, may have a desire to share your life with someone. Just make sure that they are a seer too, a seer of your worth and your "enoughness," on more than just this special day.

I'm 38 and single, and I recently realized I want a child. I'm terrified I've missed my opportunity.

• I didn't want kids and didn't think I'd want to get married again after my divorce.
• But recently I realized I actually do want to build a life — and a family — with someone. 
• I'm almost 39, and I'm starting to panic about whether my chance to have a child has passed.

I can still picture it. I was 20, sitting on the kitchen countertop with my legs dangling over the cabinets. He was 21, leaning against the stove of the home he hoped we'd share. We'd been dating for nearly two years and were at a standstill.

I was clinging to my dream of moving five hours away to attend the design program at the Art Institute of Seattle. He wanted a simple life with children and home-cooked meals in the little resort town of Coeur d'Alene, Idaho, where we met in sixth grade .

That day in the kitchen, we decided to stay together, and we each gave up something to do that. I would no longer pursue design school and the big-city life I'd always dreamed of, and he'd forgo having children and a wife who prioritized homemaking. I made it clear to him that I did not see motherhood in my future and that he needed to be OK with that. Two years later, we married.

My now ex-husband wanted kids and a stay-at-home wife

My husband thought I'd change, and I thought I could change for him. I told myself that it was silly to go after my dreams and that I should be content in the pretty mountain town where I grew up.

But I grew resentful when he asked where dinner was or complained that his gym clothes hadn't been washed. I did little to hide my disdain for our small-town life. He was a good and hardworking man, but I don't think I made him feel that way.

We were young, foolish, and sweet, thinking our love would allow us to overcome our differences. We were also very wrong.

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Shortly after I turned 30, we divorced . We were both tired of sacrificing the things that were important to us for each other.

I didn't think I'd want to get married again or have kids

I told my friends and family I'd never get married again. I needed independence, a fulfilling career, and space to chart my own course, and I didn't think marriage fit into that vision. I was content to look toward a future without a husband, children, or the trappings of a "traditional" life.

I was also in no hurry to get into a serious relationship after my divorce. I was terrified of repeating my mistakes. Nevertheless, months later I stumbled into one that lasted 7 ½ years.

He was significantly older and wasn't interested in marriage or children, and we were focused on our careers. We expected little of each other aside from fidelity. We took trips, drank nice wine, and stayed out late. Without the expectations or duties of a shared mortgage or a family, we simply enjoyed our time together. When we were apart, we did our own things. Those were great, easy years.

It was an incredibly healing relationship, and, ironically, I started to become the woman my ex-husband had wanted. I enjoyed cooking, cleaning, and caring for someone when it was my choice and when it wasn't asked of me. I'd been so preoccupied with preserving my independence and caring for myself that I hadn't realized how much I could enjoy caring for someone else and allowing them to care for me.

I changed my mind about wanting to build a family with someone

I started to think I might want more than an easy, aimless relationship. I realized I might actually want to build a life from the ground up with someone who wanted the same thing. And while I knew that might take more work, it also felt like the type of connection worth pursuing.

I felt restless, and I couldn't ignore that what I wanted had changed. Though we were technically together, we were living our own lives. That was exactly what I had wanted and needed after my divorce, but autonomy was no longer my top priority. It felt like the relationship had run its course. He's a wonderful man, and we're still close, but we'd entered our relationship without intention or a shared vision of our future.

We broke up shortly before my 37th birthday. Over the following year and a half I dated around for the first time in my life. I broke hearts, had my own heart broken, and did in my late 30s what many people do in their 20s. I didn't know it then, but I was learning what I wanted and needed in a relationship. Ultimately, I want to build a life with another person, not simply join theirs when it's convenient.

I began to feel an incredible urgency to find the relationship and stability to see me through the second half of my life. To my amazement, I began seriously thinking about marriage and children — I hardly recognized myself.

I also began to feel selfish for spending so much time focusing solely on myself. I went from proudly proclaiming I was too self-centered to be bothered with a family to realizing there was more to life than independence and the pleasures of living for oneself. My very existence started to feel shallow and hollow.

I worry I'll end up alone, but I'm still hopeful

Now, months after that realization and at nearly 39, I feel panicked thinking I'll be a single, childless middle-aged woman. I worry that my youthful looks will fade and that I won't be able to attract the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.

If I sound desperate, it's because I honestly do feel a little desperate. At my age, I know that creating life may not be an option for me. And I worry that men who want a family aren't looking for a woman pushing 40. I get it; I'm no longer the ideal candidate for motherhood , and it's a scary truth. But I still hope to find someone who thinks I'm the ideal partner and create our family together.

I understand the appeal of life without the constraints of marriage or children; for many years I was quite satisfied living that way. I know people can live happy, purpose-driven lives without those things. I just don't believe I'm one of those people anymore. I know now that my purpose lies in having a husband and a family. I'm meant to care for more than myself.

I'm looking for my forever person and hoping he's looking for me, too.

Watch: Watch Tony Robbins bring someone to tears in a one-on-one motivational session

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Single Mom & Teenage Son Have Been Struggling To Find New Home, But Mom Has A Secret Plan

In a heartwarming display of love and dedication, a single mom recently surprised her teenage son with their new home, fulfilling a dream they had been working toward for months. The journey began months ago when the pair started their search for a new home. Her son found a house he loved, but his mother told him no! Little did he know, she was in the process of getting that house.

Despite facing the challenges of navigating the housing market as a single parent, the mom secretly worked behind the scenes to secure the perfect home for her son. The big moment arrived when she picked him up from school one day and told him she had a surprise in store. With anticipation building, she asked him to wear a sweatshirt over his eyes until she was ready for the big reveal.

As she counted to three, the excitement in the air was palpable. With bated breath, the teenage son removed the sweatshirt from his eyes, and his reaction was nothing short of pure joy. His face lit up with a smile as he took in the sight of their new home.

In a heartwarming display of gratitude and love, the teenage son ran over to his mom, enveloping her in a tight hug. It was a moment filled with emotion, a testament to the bond between a mother and her child.

For this single mom, the surprise was not just about finding a new house; it was about creating a home filled with love, laughter, and cherished memories. It was a gesture of love and sacrifice, a reminder of the lengths a parent will go to for their child's happiness.

More from LittleThings: Texas Dad Embraces Being Put Through The Ultimate Nail Salon Experience With Sassy Toddler

As they step into their new home together, this mother and son duo embark on a new chapter filled with hope, excitement, and endless possibilities. And with each passing day, their bond grows stronger, fueled by the love and devotion they share for each other.

To see this amazing house reveal, click the video!

Anti-Vax Mom Asks How To Protect Child From Measles Outbreak, And People Have Some Ideas

Over twenty years after the measles virus was successfully eliminated from the United States, there are several outbreaks of the disease happening across the country – thanks in large part to the "anti-vaxxers" who shun the measles vaccine.

One anti-vax mom's panicked post about a measles outbreak had people crying/laughing at the irony.

"My 3 year old is not vaccinated and there is currently a measles outbreak in my state," the mom wrote in a natural health anti-vax community.

"Any suggestions for precautions I can take to protect her would be very much appreciated."

Sadly, the post is in a private community. We may never get to see their answers to this ridiculous question. Seriously, aside from vaccinating her child , what should she do?!

More from LittleThings: Widower Tells Therapist He Sleeps In Car With Two Kids, Entire Waiting Room Overhears Him

One bold soul  did  screenshot the question and post it to Twitter , where people tore it to shreds.

"If only there existed some kind of medicine to protect children from getting such illnesses," one person joked.

"Thoughts and prayers?" another offered.

Big, big sigh.

The measles used to be a common childhood disease, much like chicken pox. Before vaccines, an estimated 3 to 4 million people were infected with measles each year, per the CDC .

Most children recovered, but many didn't. Hundreds died each year.

Then 1963 rolled around and someone invented a measles vaccine. Hooray! Immunity!

By 2000, the disease was declared "eliminated" from the United States.

But then the anti-vaxxers showed up.

Anti-vaxxers are people who believe that vaccines pose harmful side-effects. Anti-vax parents refuse to vaccinate their kids against diseases like the measles.

The problem is that vaccines don't really work unless  everyone  participates. One unvaccinated person leaves everyone around them vulnerable.

So, here we are, in 2019, in the midst of a measles outbreak in America – as if life in 2019 couldn't get more surreal!

That brings us to last week, when an anonymous mom posted desperately on a natural health anti-vax community on Facebook for help.

Her 3-year-old is unvaccinated. She wants to know how to protect her...  from the measles outbreak .

Someone from the Richard Dawkins Foundation saw the post and tweeted it with a tongue-in-cheek question:

"Can anyone guess how this person could protect their child from the measles?"

And, because Twitter is a dark and hilarious place, people actually did chime in with some "suggestions."

Most of them were mocking the all-natural approach to health that led us to this predicament in the first place.

People suggested everything from "thoughts and prayers" to ". • ^eSsEnTiAl OiLs^ • ."

Because that will definitely protect this poor kid from this completely preventable public health crisis.

For reference, there have been three reported measles outbreaks in the US so far this year: one is in New York State, one is in New York City, and one is in Washington State.

There were 17 total outbreaks in 2018.

The measles virus is still common in many other parts of the world, so these outbreaks usually occur when an unvaccinated person travels outside the US and brings the disease back with them.

While the Twitter thread is mostly humorous, some people could not help but express concern and anger at anti-vaxxers like the mother who posted this question.

The vast majority of people who contract measles are unvaccinated.

The CDC reports that the disease will likely continue to spread in US communities with "pockets of unvaccinated people."

One Twitter user joked that, to truly protect this child, she should go to some more responsible parents.

Another pointed out how ridiculous it is to turn to Facebook for advice on a matter as serious as this one!

If you're really  concerned about protecting your child against measles outbreaks, make sure that your child is up to date on their vaccines  –  especially  if you plan to travel outside the US.

The vaccine is very effective, and its side-effects are mild and temporary.

And no, crystals/essential oils/thoughts and prayers don't do the same thing. In case you were wondering.

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11 Signs Dating as a Single Parent Isn’t Right for You

Dylan Banks offers sharp insights on relationships, love, and human connection. A leading expert, he's passionate about helping others build meaningful connections.

In This Article

Dating as a single parent comes with its unique set of challenges and rewards. While many single parents successfully find love and companionship, it isn’t always the right path for everyone at every moment. 

Existing research shows that single parents often face increased levels of depression, anxiety, and overall stress.

This suggests that single parents might experience even higher levels of stress when balancing dating with parental duties compared to non-parents.  

This added pressure can complicate single parent relationships and raise questions about whether dating should be a priority.

Facing the dating world as a single parent requires careful consideration of your own needs and those of your children. It’s important to recognize the signs that dating might not be suitable for you at this time. 

Understanding these signs can help you focus on your family’s well-being and personal growth , ensuring that any decision to date is made with the right intentions and awareness. 

As you ponder whether dating as a single parent is right for you, consider the complexities and impacts it may have on your life and your children’s.

11 signs dating as a single parent isn’t right for you

Dating as a single parent can be a rewarding journey, but it also presents unique challenges that might not align with everyone’s current lifestyle or emotional state. Recognizing whether you’re ready to date is crucial for your well-being and that of your children. 

Here are 11 signs that dating as a single parent might not be right for you at the moment. These insights aim to guide those navigating the complex world of single parent dating problems, offering a perspective on when it might be beneficial to take a step back from dating single parents.

1. Your children are not ready

When dating as a single parent, your children’s emotional readiness is crucial. If they seem upset, anxious, or negatively affected by the prospect of you dating, it may be wise to pause and address their feelings first. 

Their adjustment and emotional health should take precedence, as their well-being directly impacts your home’s overall atmosphere.

2. You’re not over your ex

If you find yourself often thinking about your past relationship or comparing potential partners to your ex, it’s a sign you may not be ready to move on. 

Dating as a single parent should come from a place of readiness to start a new chapter, not from lingering attachment to the past. Give yourself more time to heal.

3. Lack of time

One of the common single parent dating problems is finding enough time. Balancing parenting, work, and personal time is challenging enough; adding dating to the mix might stretch you too thin. 

If you find scheduling a date feels like a logistical nightmare, it might be a sign to hold off until your routine becomes more manageable.

4. Dating feels like a chore

Dating should feel exciting and enjoyable, not like another task on your to-do list. If the thought of going on a date drains you rather than excites you, take it as a sign to focus on other aspects of your life that bring joy and fulfillment.

5. You’re dating to fill a void

A research-based article talks about how loneliness can drive people to fill the void with the first acceptable person who shows up romantically.

It’s important when dating as single parents to ensure you’re seeking a relationship for the right reasons. If you’re looking to fill the loneliness or emptiness left by a previous relationship, you might end up in unsatisfying or unhealthy dynamics. Focus on fulfilling yourself independently first.

6. You feel pressure to find a partner

The pressure from outside sources can sometimes lead to rushed or unsuitable relationships. If you feel like you’re dating just because friends, family, or societal norms suggest it’s time, then you might not be dating for yourself. It’s essential to date on your own terms and timing.

7. You’re experiencing financial instability

Studies suggest that single-parent families often face significant financial challenges, which can adversely affect their psychological health.

Financial stress can complicate dating single parents’ lives, adding tension and distraction. Before you add dating to your life, ensuring your financial house is in order can prevent additional stress and allow you to focus on building a meaningful relationship when the time is right.

8. Your emotional health is suffering

Your mental and emotional health should be stable before you add the complexities of dating to your life. If you’re struggling with depression, anxiety, or high levels of stress, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. This might include seeking therapy or focusing on self-care.

9. Uncertainty about dating

If you’re uncertain about how to date as a single parent or questioning whether you should date at all, listen to those feelings. They might be indicating that now isn’t the right time. Taking time to gain clarity can lead to more positive experiences down the road.

10. You’re not interested in commitment

Reflect on what you truly want from dating. If you’re not looking for a committed relationship, think about whether casual dating suits your life and won’t complicate your responsibilities as a parent. Sometimes, staying single might be the best option until you’re ready for something more serious.

11. You haven’t established personal boundaries

Personal boundaries are crucial in maintaining your well-being while dating as a single parent. If you find yourself compromising on your values or needs, it might be time to reassess. 

Establishing firm boundaries ensures that any relationships you pursue are healthy and respectful of both your needs and those of your children.

Stephanie Gonzalez, a 16-year-old who grew up and was raised in Chicago by her single mother and older brother, talks about the need to reconsider the way we perceive single parents. Watch here:

Entering the dating world as a single parent comes with unique challenges and questions. Whether it’s about personal feelings or logistical concerns, here are answers to some common FAQs that offer dating single parents advice and insights on should single parents date.

Should I feel guilty for wanting to date as a single parent?

Absolutely not. Wanting companionship and personal happiness is natural and healthy. Dating as a single parent is perfectly normal, and you deserve to pursue fulfilling relationships that make you happy.

What should I consider before introducing someone I’m dating to my children?

Consider the seriousness of the relationship and the potential long-term impact on your children. Ensure the person is ready and willing to be part of a family dynamic and that your children are prepared for this change.

How do I manage my time between dating and parenting?

Balancing dating and parenting requires good time management and prioritization. Schedule dates during times when you are not sacrificing quality moments with your children. Effective planning and open communication with potential partners about your priorities is key.

Is it okay to date someone who also has children?

Yes, dating someone who also has children can be a great option. It offers mutual understanding of parenting demands and responsibilities. However, the same considerations about blending families and introducing children should be taken to ensure compatibility and readiness on both sides.

Trust your journey

Recognizing when not to engage in dating as a single parent is just as important as knowing when to start. Each sign is a guide to help you prioritize your well-being and that of your children. Dating should enrich your life, not complicate it. 

By understanding these signs, you empower yourself to make the best decisions for your personal and family life. Remember, focusing on your happiness and stability is paramount. When the time is right, and the circumstances align, you will be more prepared to open your heart and life to someone special.

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Dylan Banks is a prolific writer, known for his sharp and insightful commentary on relationships, love, and human connection. With his extensive experience and infectious passion for all things love-related, he has become a leading Read more expert in the field of relationship advice. Dylan is a true romantic at heart, with a deep passion for helping others find love and build meaningful connections. When he’s not writing about love and relationships, Dylan can be found exploring the great outdoors or indulging in his other passion: music. As an accomplished musician and songwriter, he believes that music has the power to connect people in profound ways. Read less

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