choosing friends wisely essay

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Why it's so important to choose your friends wisely, after all, you are the company you keep..

Growing up, my mother always taught me that I should choose my friends wisely. She would further explain that the people I surround myself with are a reflection of who I am at the end of the day. I could accomplish the goals I set for myself and follow my conscience when it deemed necessary, yet my actions only determine half of how my identity is perceived. My mother was right. The other half is based off of factors that don't seem right or fair, but whether we like it or not, we are most often defined by the people who we associate with. From my experience, quality friends are not always easy to come by, but with time, patience, and the right head on your shoulders, you will eventually find them.

In elementary school, the group of friends you have are largely attributed to who your parents are friends with and the play dates that are made for you. These plans are out of our control and generally develop friendships that last until middle school and sometimes even high school years. These friends were placed into our lives without our say, and only time will tell if whether or not they will remain significant characters in our future circles.

Moving onto the middle school years, I cringe just thinking of the prepubescent kids who are making their way into “young-adulthood.” Beginning with raging hormones that translate into petty drama, these newly inducted teenagers face the most difficult of times. There is an inherent hierarchy that middle school cultivates, one that distinguishes the popular from the unpopular. You most definitely could not spot me sitting with the cool crowd, and you could undoubtably say I was alone majority of the time. I know almost anyone could attest to the fact that middle school girls are just plain mean. From crushes to school projects, fights arise from the most trivial topics, and the world just feels so unjust and intimidating. I remember the first time I got bullied was in the 6th grade, and I distinctly remember wondering if I would ever find a nice group of friends, as my mother caressed her daughter with her tear-filled eyes. I remember reading books and hearing that it gets better with time, and that this deep-rooted social scale will not follow me forever.

I believe high school is the first time all friendships that were established in the past are put to the test. All cliques and previously made ties must tackle the most difficult of situations yet. It will be the first time that certain factors come into play that have the ability to challenge your beliefs and morals as well as the people around you. Alcohol and drugs are brought into the mix, and crucial decision-making that you’ve never encountered before is at the core of your day to day interactions. As you mature and your principles develop, so do your expectations for the friends you want to keep by the time you get to college. These are pivotal moments that either hurt or help you decide what type of person you want to be and who you want to be there during the most incredible and most difficult of times. You’re experiencing so many firsts and so many emotions, and it’s important to have a support group there to comfort you through it all. Who do you want there when you receive your first rejection letter? Who do you want holding your hand when the boy you love turns you down? Who are you willing to visit when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away from home for an entire four years? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when you look around and see the people that allow insight into to who you are and what you value to the rest of the world.

I can honestly say that with time, I found the best people in high school and in college. I believe that if someone were to look at my friends, they would be proud of the people I chose to stand beside me who help represent the person I am everyday. I hope that you chose your friends wisely, and remember to surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you and make you the happiest, no matter how cliche that sounds. You owe it to yourself to look out for the good ones and once you find them, make sure you don't let them get away.

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25 beatles lyrics: your go-to guide for every situation, the best lines from the fab four.

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The End- Abbey Road, 1969

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Dear Prudence- The White Album, 1968

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

Because- Abbey Road, 1969

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

All You Need Is Love, 1967

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

We Can Work It Out- Rubber Soul, 1965

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Come Together- Abbey Road, 1969

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

I Wanna Hold Your Hand- Meet The Beatles!, 1964

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band-1967

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Strawberry Fields Forever- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Rain- Paperback Writer "B" side, 1966

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

Here Comes The Sun- Abbey Road, 1969

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

Saw Her Standing There- Please Please Me, 1963

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

Michelle- Rubber Soul, 1965

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

Revolution- The Beatles, 1968

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Eleanor Rigby- Revolver, 1966

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

With A Little Help From My Friends- Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, 1967

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Hey Jude, 1968

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

Yesterday- Help!, 1965

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

Let It Be- Let It Be, 1970

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all i got to give if you say you'll love me too. i may not have a lot to give but what i got i'll give to you. i don't care too much for money. money can't buy me love.

Can't Buy Me Love- A Hard Day's Night, 1964

All you need is love, love is all you need

All You Need Is Love- Magical Mystery Tour, 1967

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. all your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

Blackbird- The White Album, 1968

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

In My Life- Rubber Soul, 1965

While these are my 25 favorites, there are quite literally 1000s that could have been included. The Beatles' body of work is massive and there is something for everyone. If you have been living under a rock and haven't discovered the Fab Four, you have to get musically educated. Stream them on Spotify, find them on iTunes or even buy a CD or record (Yes, those still exist!). I would suggest starting with 1, which is a collection of most of their #1 songs, or the 1968 White Album. Give them chance and you'll never look back.

14 Invisible Activities: Unleash Your Inner Ghost!

Obviously the best superpower..

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

1. "Haunt" your friends.

Follow them into their house and cause a ruckus.

2. Sneak into movie theaters.

Going to the cinema alone is good for your mental health , says science

Considering that the monthly cost of subscribing to a media-streaming service like Netflix is oft...

Free movies...what else to I have to say?

3. Sneak into the pantry and grab a snack without judgment.

Late night snacks all you want? Duh.

4. Reenact "Hollow Man" and play Kevin Bacon.

America's favorite son? And feel what it's like to be in a MTV Movie Award nominated film? Sign me up.

5. Wear a mask and pretend to be a floating head.

Just another way to spook your friends in case you wanted to.

6. Hold objects so they'll "float."

"Oh no! A floating jar of peanut butter."

7. Win every game of hide-and-seek.

Just stand out in the open and you'll win.

8. Eat some food as people will watch it disappear.

Even everyday activities can be funny.

9. Go around pantsing your friends.

Even pranks can be done; not everything can be good.

10. Not have perfect attendance.

You'll say here, but they won't see you...

11. Avoid anyone you don't want to see.

Whether it's an ex or someone you hate, just use your invisibility to slip out of the situation.

12. Avoid responsibilities.

Chores? Invisible. People asking about social life? Invisible. Family being rude? Boom, invisible.

13. Be an expert on ding-dong-ditch.

Never get caught and have the adrenaline rush? I'm down.

14. Brag about being invisible.

Be the envy of the town.

But don't, I repeat, don't go in a locker room. Don't be a pervert with your power. No one likes a Peeping Tom.

Good luck, folks.

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned..

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

1. The importance of traditions.

Sometimes traditions seem like a silly thing, but the fact of it is that it's part of who you are. You grew up this way and, more than likely, so did your parents. It is something that is part of your family history and that is more important than anything.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

No matter how many times they get on your nerves or make you mad, they are the ones who will always be there and you should never take that for granted.

3. How to give back.

When tragedy strikes in a small town, everyone feels obligated to help out because, whether directly or indirectly, it affects you too. It is easy in a bigger city to be able to disconnect from certain problems. But in a small town those problems affect everyone.

4. What the word "community" really means.

Along the same lines as #3, everyone is always ready and willing to lend a helping hand when you need one in a small town and to me that is the true meaning of community. It's working together to build a better atmosphere, being there to raise each other up, build each other up, and pick each other up when someone is in need. A small town community is full of endless support whether it be after a tragedy or at a hometown sports game. Everyone shows up to show their support.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

People say this to others all the time, but it takes on a whole new meaning in a small town. It is true that life is about the journey, but when you're from a small town, you know it's about the journey because the journey probably takes longer than you spend at the destination. Everything is so far away that it is totally normal to spend a couple hours in the car on your way to some form of entertainment. And most of the time, you're gonna have as many, if not more, memories and laughs on the journey than at the destination.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

Word travels fast in a small town, so don't think you're gonna get away with anything. In fact, your parents probably know what you did before you even have a chance to get home and tell them. And forget about being scared of what your teacher, principle, or other authority figure is going to do, you're more afraid of what your parents are gonna do when you get home.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

Everyone deserves a chance. Most people don't have ill-intentions and you can't live your life guarding against every one else just because a few people in your life have betrayed your trust.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

While small towns are not always extremely diverse, they do contain people with a lot of different stories, struggle, and backgrounds. In a small town, it is pretty hard to exclude anyone because of who they are or what they come from because there aren't many people to choose from. A small town teaches you that just because someone isn't the same as you, doesn't mean you can't be great friends.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

In a small town, you learn that it's okay to be who you are and do your own thing. You learn that confidence isn't how beautiful you are or how much money you have, it's who you are on the inside.

10. How to work for what I want.

Nothing comes easy in life. They always say "gardens don't grow overnight" and if you're from a small town you know this both figuratively and literally. You certainly know gardens don't grow overnight because you've worked in a garden or two. But you also know that to get to the place you want to be in life it takes work and effort. It doesn't just happen because you want it to.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

If you're from a small town, you know that you will probably only meet a handful of people in your life who ACTUALLY know where your town is. And forget about the people who accidentally enter into your town because of google maps. You've gotten really good at giving them directions right back to the interstate.

12. How to be humble .

My small town has definitely taught me how to be humble. It isn't always about you, and anyone who grows up in a small town knows that. Everyone gets their moment in the spotlight, and since there's so few of us, we're probably best friends with everyone so we are as excited when they get their moment of fame as we are when we get ours.

13. To be well-rounded.

Going to a small town high school definitely made me well-rounded. There isn't enough kids in the school to fill up all the clubs and sports teams individually so be ready to be a part of them all.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

In a small town, good luck holding a grudge. In a bigger city you can just avoid a person you don't like or who you've had problems with. But not in a small town. You better resolve the issue fast because you're bound to see them at least 5 times a week.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

One of my favorite things about growing up in a rural area was being able to go outside and go exploring and not have to worry about being in danger. There is nothing more exciting then finding a new place somewhere in town or in the woods and just spending time there enjoying the natural beauty around you.

16. To be prepared for anything.

You never know what may happen. If you get a flat tire, you better know how to change it yourself because you never know if you will be able to get ahold of someone else to come fix it. Mechanics might be too busy , or more than likely you won't even have enough cell service to call one.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

It's okay to ask for help. One thing I realized when I moved away from my town for college, was how much my town has taught me that I could ask for help is I needed it. I got into a couple situations outside of my town where I couldn't find anyone to help me and found myself thinking, if I was in my town there would be tons of people ready to help me. And even though I couldn't find anyone to help, you better believe I wasn't afraid to ask.

18. How to be creative.

When you're at least an hour away from normal forms of entertainment such as movie theaters and malls, you learn to get real creative in entertaining yourself. Whether it be a night looking at the stars in the bed of a pickup truck or having a movie marathon in a blanket fort at home, you know how to make your own good time.

19. To brush off gossip.

It's all about knowing the person you are and not letting others influence your opinion of yourself. In small towns, there is plenty of gossip. But as long as you know who you really are, it will always blow over.

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you..

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

You have taught me that you don't always have to strong. You are allowed to break down as long as you pick yourself back up and keep moving forward. When life had you at your worst moments, you allowed your friends to be there for you and to help you. You let them in and they helped pick you up. Even in your darkest hour you showed so much strength. I know that you don't believe in yourself as much as you should but you are unbelievably strong and capable of anything you set your mind to.

Your passion to make a difference in the world is unbelievable. You put your heart and soul into your endeavors and surpass any personal goal you could have set. Watching you do what you love and watching you make a difference in the lives of others is an incredible experience. The way your face lights up when you finally realize what you have accomplished is breathtaking and I hope that one day I can have just as much passion you have.

SEE MORE: A Letter To My Best Friend On Her Birthday

The love you have for your family is outstanding. Watching you interact with loved ones just makes me smile . You are so comfortable and you are yourself. I see the way you smile when you are around family and I wish I could see you smile like this everyday. You love with all your heart and this quality is something I wished I possessed.

You inspire me to be the best version of myself. I look up to you. I feel that more people should strive to have the strength and passion that you exemplify in everyday life.You may be stubborn at points but when you really need help you let others in, which shows strength in itself. I have never been more proud to know someone and to call someone my role model. You have taught me so many things and I want to thank you. Thank you for inspiring me in life. Thank you for making me want to be a better person.

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life..

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Don't freak out

This is a rule you should continue to follow no matter what you do in life, but is especially helpful in this situation.

Email the professor

Around this time, professors are getting flooded with requests from students wanting to get into full classes. This doesn't mean you shouldn't burden them with your email; it means they are expecting interested students to email them. Send a short, concise message telling them that you are interested in the class and ask if there would be any chance for you to get in.

Attend the first class

Often, the advice professors will give you when they reply to your email is to attend the first class. The first class isn't the most important class in terms of what will be taught. However, attending the first class means you are serious about taking the course and aren't going to give up on it.

Keep attending class

Every student is in the same position as you are. They registered for more classes than they want to take and are "shopping." For the first couple of weeks, you can drop or add classes as you please, which means that classes that were once full will have spaces. If you keep attending class and keep up with assignments, odds are that you will have priority. Professors give preference to people who need the class for a major and then from higher to lower class year (senior to freshman).

Have a backup plan

For two weeks, or until I find out whether I get into my waitlisted class, I will be attending more than the usual number of classes. This is so that if I don't get into my waitlisted class, I won't have a credit shortage and I won't have to fall back in my backup class. Chances are that enough people will drop the class, especially if it is very difficult like computer science, and you will have a chance. In popular classes like art and psychology, odds are you probably won't get in, so prepare for that.

Remember that everything works out at the end

Life is full of surprises. So what if you didn't get into the class you wanted? Your life obviously has something else in store for you. It's your job to make sure you make the best out of what you have.

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Why should you choose your friends carefully?

• June 11, 2019
• Blog / Relationships

Life is incomplete without friends. Being a social animal, a human cannot live without interacting with people. Some of the interactions become stronger, and people become good friends of each other. Having friends in life is essential, but more important is to choose the right friends for you. Our parents always advise us to be careful in selecting friends as they can bring both positive and negative impacts on life.

That is why it is crucial to be cautious in this matter as the right friend or companion could make our lives more happy, peaceful, and significant. It is indeed said that “The righteous choose their friends carefully.” The main reasons which make it essential to keep the right people in your life in the form of friends and avoid those who are just passing the time instead of becoming your faithful companion.

The main and to be noted reasons are as follows:

1. Real Friends will make your life happier 

Your life becomes more pleasing and contented with the presence of right and sincere friends. The importance and value of true friendship cannot be described in words. You should find the one who makes your life happy with honest feelings and thoughts. Those who create trouble and do not able to give you a sense of delight and happiness cannot be your real friends.

The company of the right people will make every moment of your life pleasing even when you feel detached.

2. The right friend will encourage you

You have to consider carefully that who is with you in your wrong time and provide you a sign of courage to handle the unfavorable situations. Not only courage but genuine and sincere friends will make sure that they will stand by whenever you want. They not only say this but do this whenever the time comes.

The unfortunate circumstances become less troubling with the support and encouragement of sincere people around you. They may not be able to make things right, but with their supportive attitude, provide your firmness and boldness to face adverse situations.

3. You can share everything with a sincere friend 

When people feel depressed about something, they want to share those feelings with anyone who will listen to them carefully. Not everyone will hear you with sincerity and accurately, and that is another main thing which increases the importance of choosing the right friends in life.

The faithful companions will listen and understand no matter what you are going through. You also feel inclined and urged to share whatever troubles through which your feelings much smoother and calmer.

4. Right Friends will give the right advice 

Many situations come in our lives when we need accurate help to handle certain things. A right friend can be helpful a lot in this regard when you are really in need of real help. If you have chosen friends who consider your problems their own, they will give you better and favorable information. On the other hand, those who are not sincere with you will not be bothered much and cannot provide you with the best information or companionship. You need the right people in your life if you want honest and precise advice.

5. Your friends expose your character 

Your friends or company reveals who you are and what type of character you possess. The right friends will bring many positive impacts, not in life but also your personality. Maybe you learn many new things and avoid bad habits in you by becoming the influence of them.

To make your reputation enjoyable and develop good habits, you must choose friends with high morals and real character. In this way, your personality and inner self will nourish, and you may be able to develop many admirable traits in yourself.

6. Friends can escalate your career growth 

If you have supported people in forms of friends around you is a blessing. They can have a great influence on your future and career. Honest friends can increase your career growth by their genuine opinions, appreciating you, and giving you the confidence to achieve whatever you want.

Not only personal growth, but your future growth is also connected with your friends, that’s why you have to be careful while choosing them.

7. Friends can influence your future choices

Friends not only give us emotionally but future support also. If you have sincere, wise, and good friends in life, they will influence your future choices very much with their advice and help. He may make you able to think differently and develop a new approach to life. The opinions of your friends matter a lot for you, and they can genuinely help you to achieve your aims and goals while making you free for troublemaking thoughts.

These points elaborate very well on the importance of choosing the right friends in life for you. Your life becomes happy with genuine friends and company, while most of your problems will vanish because of their support, kindness, help, and encouragement.

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How to Choose the Right Friends

Last Updated: August 9, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. This article has 13 testimonials from our readers, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 266,554 times.

Building healthy friendships is an important part of your social life. Friends can have a major influence on how you think, feel, and behave. [1] X Research source You should look for friends that have good qualities and seek out new friends that are positive and supportive. Also, try to avoid negative friends so you can maintain a healthy, active social life.

Looking For Good Qualities in Your Friends

• For example, if you're going through a rough break up, a good friend would check in on you daily and try to distract you by taking you out.
• Good friends offer advice, support, and guidance during difficult times, and only when you ask for it. They support your decisions, even if they don't agree.

• Some people are givers; they'll do anything to help and support someone. Others are takers; they'll take someone else’s time and energy to fulfill their own needs.
• While natural givers may sound like the way to go, you should actually look for friends who can maintain a balance between both of these two extremes.

• For example, if you're trying to get into medical school, a good friend will act interested, encourage you, and help you prepare. They'll also celebrate when you do get in.

Real friends celebrate each other. "Good friends aren’t afraid of your light. They never blow out your flame and you don’t blow out theirs—even when it’s really bright and it makes you worry about your own flame."

• You should feel comfortable being called out or challenged by your friends, not turned-off. This can help you cultivate a better sense of self-control and learn better from your mistakes. [9] X Research source
• Good friends will tell you when you're right and when you're wrong. You should be comfortable doing this in return. [10] X Research source

• Cultivate respect for your friends and their choices, even if you don't share the same interests or preferences.

wikiHow Quiz: Is My Friend Toxic?

How often does your friend flake on plans.

Constantly! They almost always cancel at the last minute.

Frequently. I might as well flip a coin to see if they show up.

Occasionally. They usually have a good excuse, though.

Never. If they give me their word, I know they’ll be there.

Seeking Out Positive, New Friends

• If you're shy, get on social media. Follow people you find interesting and comment on their posts or chat with them. Eventually, you may feel comfortable doing this in person.

• For example, you could join a club that focuses on online games. Doing quests together can help build a connection; you could even hang out outside of the game.

• For example, if you volunteer at your local Women’s Shelter, invite some of the volunteers out to coffee afterwards and chat with them.

• Invite the acquaintance out for coffee or for dinner. Ask questions and listen attentively. Show them that you're worth getting to know.

Avoiding Negative Friends

• A negative friend may tell you that you're “worthless”, “stupid”, or “dumb”. They may also tell you that you're wrong and that you don't know what you're talking about.
• They may put you down in front of others to make themselves look better and focus on the things you're bad at to make you feel diminished.
• Hanging out with negative friends may leave you feeling low, depressed, and worthless.

• For example, if you get a role in a film, a bad friend may suddenly start paying more attention to you and ask for autographs, which they later sell for gain.

• If your friend is being negative, give them support and try to cheer them up; they may just be having a hard time. If this doesn't work and takes a toll on your mental health, seek new friends.
• Avoiding negative friends will allow you to spend time on your own development and not use all your energy on someone else’s issues.

Expert Q&A

Tips from our readers.

• Be a good friend yourself. Otherwise, fights will easily break out and the "You didn't treat me like a friend anyway!" roast will be used against you, and give you a bad reputation.
• Befriend someone who doesn't leave you out or treats you differently.

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• ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/what-mentally-strong-people-dont-do/201504/5-reasons-studies-say-you-have-choose-your-friends
• ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/how-to-make-friends.htm
• ↑ http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/mar/08/choosing-friends-friendship-breakdown
• ↑ http://www.uklifecoaching.org/friends.htm
• ↑ http://greatist.com/live/relationship-advice-how-to-be-a-true-friend

About This Article

To choose the right friends, look for people who are willing to support you on a consistent basis, not just when times are good.Think about whether your friends are trustworthy, and if you can trust them with private information. Lastly, figure out how comfortable you feel around your friends; the right friends will make you feel good just being yourself! For advice from our reviewer on finding new, positive friends, read on! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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5 scientific reasons you should choose your friends carefully.

• Even as an adult, friends can have a big influence over how you feel, think, and behave
• research shows having too many “friends” on Facebook can be anxiety-provoking
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Throughout adulthood, it's easy to lose touch with old friends and it can be hard to develop new friendships. The ditigal age has complicated this process as well by changing the way friends interact. As phone calls have been exchanged for text messages and social media has replaced the need for face-to-face interaction, gatherings with friends often become fewer and farther between.

But there's growing evidence that genuine friendships may be very important in terms of your personal and professional life. Even as an adult, friends can have a big influence over how you feel, think, and behave  . Here are five reasons you should maintain healthy friendships:

1. Strong-willed friends can help increase your self-control. If you struggle to resist temptation, surrounding yourself with people who possess a high degree of self-discipline can help. A  2013 study published in Psychological Science  reports that when people are running low on self-control, they often seek out self-disciplined people to boost their willpower.

Since self-control is vital to reaching long-term goals, befriending people with willpower could be the secret to success. Whether you’re tempted to skip that workout at the gym, or you’re considering blowing this month’s budget, a friend with high self-control can motivate you to maintain healthy habits. 

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2. Having fewer friends increases the likelihood that you’ll take financial risks. When people lack adequate social interaction, they’re more likely to take bigger risks with money, according to a study published in the June 2013 issue of Journal of Consumer Research . Researchers discovered this was especially true for people who were feeling lonely or rejected.

Whether you’re dealing with a recent break-up, a fallout with family, or a failed business venture, be aware of how your emotions may affect your spending habits. Uncomfortable emotions can certainly increase the chances that you’ll behave more recklessly than usual, which may not be wise for your financial future.

3. Too many connections on social media may increase your stress level. When it comes to social media, “the more the merrier” may not be a good approach. A report from the University of Edinburgh Business School discovered that more Facebook friends means more stress. Researchers found that having an abundance of social media connections leads people to worry about offending others.

Stress arises as people try to present a version of themselves online that will be acceptable to all their social media contacts. While your college buddies may enjoy publicly discussing that “weekend in Vegas," your parents and your co-workers may be less than impressed by those stories. So before you begin adding everyone you can to your social circle, remember that research shows having too many “friends” on Facebook can be anxiety-provoking .

4. Close friends could be the secret to longevity. When older adults have close confidants, they’re ikely to live longer, according to a study conducted by Australia’s Flinder’s University. After following 1,500 people for 10 years, researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends outlived their counterparts by 22%.

Other studies touting the health benefits of friendship have shown people with cancer live longer when they attend support groups. Close friendships can help ward off depression and boost immunity as well. So while it may be tempting to think that friends are sometimes more trouble than they’re worth, clearly, having close friends can be one of the best things you can do for your health.

5. Friends can greatly influence your choices. A 2014 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that friends often bond by providing one another with moral support to resist a temptation. However, friends also commonly conspire together to enjoy indulgences. Researchers discovered that when it came to resisting temptations – like eating chocolate – sometimes friends were more likely to become partners in crime as they decided to indulge together.

Friends can help bring out the best in you without expecting perfection. They can remind you not to take life too seriously, as well as give you that much needed boost when you’re feeling discouraged.

Prioritizing Friendship

Friends are likely to come and go throughout the seasons of your life. Job changes, moving to a new city, and becoming a parent are among the many things that may shift the friendships in your life. The demands of life and a busy career can move friends to the bottom of the priority list at times.

It may be wise however, to re-evaluate the role friends play in your life. If spending quality time with friends isn't high on your to-do list, it may make sense to schedule a get-together sooner rather than later. After all,  friends impact not just the quality of your life, but perhaps even the length of it.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of forthcoming book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do .

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Choosing Good Friends: The Crucial Role of Healthy and Fulfilling Friendships

Posted on September 15, 2023 |

Adulthood, with its myriad of challenges and triumphs, often serves as a profound teacher. One of the most crucial lessons it imparts is the significance of cultivating healthy relationships for our mental well-being. The companions we choose to surround ourselves with can either uplift us or pull us down, making it essential for us to discern the difference between those who are genuinely good for us and those who aren’t.

This understanding is particularly significant for young adults who are in the process of shaping their identities and establishing their values. This stage in life often involves exploring new territories – both physically and emotionally – and the friends we make during this period can greatly influence our growth and development.

Knowing who to befriend isn’t merely about shared interests or hobbies; it goes much deeper than that. It’s about identifying individuals who respect you, your boundaries, and your aspirations. It’s about finding those who understand the importance of mutual trust and respect, and who are willing to invest time and effort into building a relationship that’s based on these principles.

Furthermore, good friends don’t just appear in our lives; they are often the result of careful cultivation. Building trust, respect, and mutual understanding require conscious effort. It involves open communication, honesty, empathy, and the ability to handle conflicts maturely. These elements act as the foundation of any strong friendship.

So, do you have good friends? Do your current friendships reflect these values? As we delve deeper into this topic, we’ll explore the traits of good friends, how to identify them, and why it’s so important to choose the right company. By understanding these aspects, we can make more informed decisions about who we allow into our lives, ensuring our friendships contribute positively to our overall well-being.

Scientific Reasons For Choosing The Right Friends

The process of choosing friends should not be left to chance or convenience. It should be an informed choice based on certain factors that contribute to your overall well-being. Here are some scientific ways and reasons why you should choose the right friends:

1. Social Development

The right friends can help develop essential social behaviors. They can teach us how to interact, communicate, and understand others’ emotions. According to the book “ The science of making friends: Helping socially challenged teens and young adults ,” good friendships during developmental years can significantly impact our social skills.

2. Open-mindedness

Friends can introduce us to new ideas, cultures, and perspectives that we might not encounter otherwise. According to the journal article “ Naturalism: Friends and foes ,” having the right friends contributes to fostering an open mind and a scientific mindset.

3. Influence on Decisions

Friends play a significant role in our decision-making processes. Whether it’s deciding what clothes to wear or making important life choices, we often seek advice and validation from our friends. The study “ Church friendships: Boon or barrier to church growth? ” indicates this influence.

4. Career Pursuit

Friends can also impact our career decisions. A friend who is passionate about their field of work could inspire us to pursue a similar path. According to the research paper “ Factors that influence student pursuit of science careers; the role of gender, ethnicity, family and friends ,” the right friends can influence career pursuits, especially in fields like science.

5. Interest in Learning

Having friends with similar academic interests can encourage a sustained interest in learning. For instance, the study “ Developing a sustained interest in science among urban minority youth ” shows that having friends interested in science can foster a sustained interest in the subject among students.

6. Emotional Support

The right friends provide emotional support, which is crucial for mental health. They can offer comfort during hard times, celebrate our successes, and provide a sense of belonging. The book “ Some of my best friends are books: Guiding gifted readers from preschool to high school ” suggests this role of friends.

7. Enhanced Learning Experience

Engaging in meaningful conversations with friends can enhance the learning experience. It allows for the exchange of ideas and deepens understanding of various subjects. The paper “ Teacher discursive moves: Conceptualising a schema of dialogic discourse in science classrooms ” indicates that having friends who engage in such conversations, especially in subjects like science, can enrich the learning experience.

Identifying the Traits of a Good Friend vs. a Not-So-Good Friend

Identifying a good friend from those who aren’t can sometimes be challenging, but certain traits and behaviors can serve as reliable indicators. A good friend is someone who genuinely cares for you, shows empathy, and offers support during difficult times. They celebrate your successes without envy and stand by your side when things go wrong. 

Good friends are reliable, trustworthy, and respect your boundaries. They are honest with you, even when the truth might be hard to hear, because they value your growth and well-being over momentary comfort.

In contrast, those who aren’t good friends may exhibit opposite characteristics. They might only be present during happy times, disappearing when you need them the most. Such friends might engage in negative behaviors such as gossip, dishonesty, or betrayal. They may not respect your boundaries and could consistently make you feel drained or unhappy. 

These individuals might also exhibit a lack of empathy, show signs of jealousy towards your achievements, or exhibit excessive neediness or dependence. The key is to identify these traits and understand that a healthy friendship should enhance your life, not detract from it. It’s important to surround yourself with positive influences and people who genuinely want the best for you.

The Crucial Role of Choosing Good Friends

In conclusion, the importance of choosing good friends cannot be overstated. Friends play a significant role in shaping our perspectives, influencing our decision-making processes, and contributing to our overall well-being. Being in the company of good friends can boost our mental health, encourage us to adopt healthier habits, and provide us with a sense of belonging.

Choosing to be friends with the right people has a profound impact on our personal growth and development. These individuals inspire us, challenge us, and support us in reaching our full potential. They offer constructive criticism when necessary and provide a safety net when we stumble.

On the contrary, choosing the wrong friends can lead to unnecessary stress , negative influences, and potentially harmful situations. It’s crucial that we remain discerning in our friendships, understanding that the quality of our friends often reflects the quality of our lives. As the old saying goes, “Show me your friends, and I’ll show you your future.” Therefore, let’s choose wisely, for the friends we choose today can significantly influence the life we lead tomorrow.

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Why You Should Choose Your Friends Carefully

• > Articles , Philosophy , Vibration
• March 28, 2020

You probably already know how important friends are in your life. But do you know how important real friends are in your life? Have you ever seriously considered how big of an impact your friends have on you? Maybe you don’t realize that your company is influencing your life choices, habits, goals, energy, and virtually all parts of your life.

When I first started reading about this, I was blown away. Soon, I went from “I accept my friends the way they are” to “I know they’re important, so how do I choose my friend carefully?”

You might be wondering: Who said choose your friends wisely? Well, Buddha did. Because your friends and environment are extremely crucial, especially if you are walking the spiritual path. Buddha has emphasized the importance of good company over and over again in all of the Buddhist scriptures. However, whether you’re a seeker longing for spiritual attainment, or just a person trying to live a happy life, your friends have a huge role to play in it. In this article, we’ll take a look at the ways your friends shape your mind and personality, and why it’ll be a lot better for you if you choose them wisely.

So, why should you choose your friends carefully?

• Your close friends can bring out the best or worst qualities in you by the way they act around you. Good friends will encourage the good parts of your personality.
• The people you spend time with have an influence over your lifestyle. They play a big role in what you like, do, or choose.
• If your friends are disciplined in their personal lives, you’ll also be pushed toward getting your own life organized.
• Studies show that people who have strong social connections tend to live longer and healthier than those who don’t.

Table of Contents

4 reasons to choose your friends carefully.

We are going to take a closer look at the above four reasons, they are all backed by scientific study and get a better understanding of how our friendships shape our life.

Friends can bring out the best (or worst) in you

You might be surprised to know that your friends can help you become your ideal self. Back in 1999, researchers found out how the company we keep (especially intimate relationships) influences our will, how we see ourselves, and what we think about. They discovered what is known as the  Michelangelo phenomenon . Let’s understand it with an example.

Say you want to become more sociable, and you’re with a partner that already sees you as someone easy to get along with. They also behave around you in a way that brings out those qualities in you – encouraging you to spend time with your friends and families, taking you to social gatherings, etc. As a result, you’re now more likely to become that ideal person simply because you have a partner that encourages you to move towards your goal.

This is the Michelangelo effect in action, and it doesn’t just apply to partners. A similar effect can be expected from close friends as well. On the other hand, of course, if you have a friend circle or partner that is not interested in your goals, or fears you leaving them behind, they may discourage you and tend to pull you away from actions that will help you improve your life.

Friends influence your preferences and lifestyles

The music or fashion tastes of friends can rub off on each other. They might begin to like the same kind of music or dress similarly. Now, this influence might seem minor, but it can have a much more significant impact on you. In the long term, it affects your life choices.

Your company decides whether you stay trapped in materialism or build good financial habits. It decides how you spend your free time, like choosing to engage in social work versus spending most of it with a glass of wine in your hand.

It dictates your priorities in life. If you spend your time with people who stay in their comfort zone and are complacent with their lives, you will also start to choose comfort over the struggle for improvement.

“Most people’s lives are a direct reflections of the expectations of your peer group.” 

–Tony Robbins

I am reminded of my high school Chemistry teacher. I used to admire him for his 24 years of experience and the beautiful way in which he arranged his lectures. Even though he was a pedagogue, we would talk about different things, and I used to watch him closely as he wrote so perfectly on the board. I paid so much attention in those 10 months that it changed my own handwriting, and I began writing and even speaking like him. I kid you not, my handwriting still resembles his style to this day.

It’s a trivial example, but it just goes to show how powerfully you are influenced by your company in ways you can’t even imagine. So, be careful who you surround yourself with.

Friends can help you build (or break) your self-discipline

We all know that discipline is a vital ingredient for success. Self-discipline is nothing but the habit of postponing instant gratification for long term gains. Mostly, it is up to us when it comes to building discipline in our lives, but our surroundings also have a crucial role to play in it.

Your friends influence your level of self-control or will power. If you have problems resisting temptations, surrounding yourself with people of greater self-control may help develop those qualities in yourself. Whether your mind tempts you to skip a workout or overspend, spending time with a disciplined friend can inspire you to stick to your goals. We have already talked about the importance of getting support when you feel like giving up in one of our other articles –  How To Not Give Up So Easily .

Back in 2013,  a study published in Psychological Science  revealed that when people are low on self-control, they value it more in others and seek out self-disciplined people to increase their own willpower. The study also suggests that people who lack self-control themselves, have the unique ability to pick up on self-control cues in others and use them to overcome temptations.

Needless to say, it works both ways. If spending time with disciplined friends can boost your productivity and self-control, then sitting around with a bunch of procrastinators who may have a goal but will start it “tomorrow” will diminish your ability to be a go-getter in life.

Close friends can mean a long life

Harvard research reveals that strong social connections improve our health and boost longevity. As we’ve already established, who you know directly influences what you do and what kind of lifestyle you lead. Having a circle of close friends is just as important for our well-being as choosing to eat healthier food, getting enough sleep, going to the gym, etc.

Another review  of 148 studies that included more than 300,000 participants found out that people with stronger social relationships were 50% more likely to survive than those with weaker social bonds. The study included participants of different ages, races, and gender, which means that your friendships determine the quality and longevity of life regardless of whether you are male, female, young, or old.

If you think about it, the opposite is also obviously true. This study also suggests that a lack of strong relationships will increase the risk of one’s premature death by 50% – which is an effect comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and it’s greater than physical inactivity or obesity.

The positive benefits of social connections come only with close confidants, so you’ll have to choose your friends wisely if you want to have some people to talk to when you’re old. Not only that but if you end up inviting the wrong friends into your life, your overall health and well-being will start to suffer in a matter of months.

Final thoughts

We are naturally social. However, the modern way of life is decreasing the quality and quantity of social relationships, and social isolation can be bad for human health. Your friends on social media hardly mean anything. So, it becomes very important to surround ourselves with like-minded individuals and have some true friends we can count on.

If you keep the above points in mind when meeting new people, you won’t end up as someone who just keeps wondering: “Why do I choose bad friends all the time?”

If you want to be successful, surround yourself either with successful people or with those who’re working to be successful. If you want to progress spiritually, surround yourself with spiritual people who live a simple and disciplined life.

“But people around me aren’t compatible with me. I can’t find the kind of friends you talk about. Is it better to have no friends than bad friends?”

Walk alone! Keep following your passion and developing yourself. What I’m saying is that you shouldn’t make friends just for the sake of having them. It is better to have no company at all than to have a bad company. Being choosy with friends is not a bad thing. As Buddha has said in verse 61 of Dhammapada:

“Should a seeker not find a companion who is better or equal, let them resolutely pursue a solitary course.”

This website is dedicated to many different topics that will assist you and me in living a life of well-being. Bringing you the best teachings from manifesting masters such as Bob Proctor, Jack Canfield, Roxie Nafousi, and more. You can support our efforts in delivering more content by using any of our affiliate links.

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Essay on A Good Friend for Students and Children

500+ words essay on a good friend.

A good friend is the only relation which we earn in whole life. To find a good friend who is loving, caring, helpful, honest, loyal, and most important compatible. This is the biggest achievement of us which we get in the form of a true friend. Undoubtedly, we always learn something new and exciting in the company of our good friends from childhood. A pleasurable time spent with friends is a kind of some happiness that can’t be express. Whether you make group study or enjoying someone’s birthday party it is always enjoyable with friends.

What is a Friend?

A good friend is someone difficult to find. A friend is somebody you can always count on when times are a hard time. The dictionary’s definition of a good friend is a person who attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Friendship means at ease with and liking of each other’s mind. A friend is one who appreciates a person’s skill. A good friend helps or encourages to make the right choices and do not get into any trouble at all.

Importance of Good Friend

Since childhood, friendship helps in making us understand and grow the habit of sharing and caring. Small kids develop friendship quicker and enjoy the company of their friends. They play and learn together. Friends are essential for their proper growth and development.

What makes a Good Friend?

Good friends are always caring, loving, loyal, passionate, a little bit critic of you. These qualities make a friend as a good friend. So, the person who talks behind your back and laughs at you can never be your good and true friend.

Friendship is the relation where friends listen to each other’s problems. Thus we can say that this bond is about good listeners. Definitely, to have a true friend is always like finding a real pearl.

Is Friendship Matters with Status?

Friendship has never bounded by people’s financial status. A king can be a true friend of a poor beggar and poor labor can be a good friend of a rich industrialist. As we all know that Lord Krishna was in unconditional true lovable friendship with poor Sudama. Friendship of Krishna and Sudama is a milestone for all of us. They were like soul mates. Also, their friendship was on that level where if one gets hurt other feels the pain.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Qualities of a Good Friend

True friends come with a variety of qualities which makes them someone special in one’s life. Here we are pointing some qualities of a true friend and its impact on friendship:

• Good listeners- It is necessary for a friend to be a good listener. Therefore, without the ability to listen, your friendship will be shallow.
• Being compassionate- True friends should always be compassionate with each other. They must be able to sympathize regardless of whether or not they agree with the crisis their friends are facing
• Loyalty- True friends should always be loyal to each other. A good friend should never betray you in any way, talk about you behind your back nor do anything else that questions your friendship.
• Trust – Good friends should be trustworthy. One should have friends to whom you can be able to tell all your secrets without any fear of them telling other people about them later.
• Support – Good friends should always be available for support. You should have friends with whom you can be sure for any help and support.
• Reliable – A good friend is one to whom you can rely on for anything.

Life of a human being is full of ups and downs.  So, on each stage of life, everyone needs someone who can understand and support with no expectation. Those special people are called a true friend. Friendship can be between two people of any age, any gender or any background. True Friends have always their special place in anyone’s life. True friendship is always possible only by heart and not by mind.

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What impact have your friends had on you lately? This might sound like a strange question, but your friends have influenced you—for better or for worse—more than you think. Does it really matter which friends you select? After all, shouldn't a Christian be willing to have anyone around as a friend?

Some argue that Christians should invite everyone into their circle of friends since Jesus Christ was inclusive during His earthly ministry. This belief seems appealing on its surface, but there is more to the issue than meets the eye. The Bible indicates that whom you choose as your friends has much to do with how far you will go in life.

As a former prosecuting attorney, I observed many bright and talented young people as they faced the criminal justice system. Regrettably, their presence in a courtroom almost always came about because of unwise decisions. The collective testimony of these young defendants reveals that long before they were charged with an offense and brought before a judge, they made poor choices of friends. A few examples illustrate this point:

Chuck (names have been changed) was an intelligent high school junior who went to a privileged school and came from a good family. He was athletic, witty and well connected. Although he planned on attending a top university, one day he accepted some less ambitious individuals into his ever-widening circle of friends. They tempted him to try alcohol and marijuana. Soon he was comfortable with his newfound friends and habits.

One evening, following a day of surfing with his buddies, he went to a party where he drank alcohol and smoked marijuana. He left the party and was arrested for driving under the influence and possession of marijuana. He was convicted of the offenses and spent time in jail. At that point, his life wasn't ruined but his future was certainly tainted. The court made it clear to him that unless he found a new group of friends, this would not be his last visit to the jail cell.

Jennifer was a gifted, attractive teen who had everything going for her. Besides the blessing of living in an intact Christian home, she had a positive group of friends at church and school. Although everyone around her was certain she would attain her goal of becoming a veterinarian, everything changed when she started spending less time with her church friends in favor of a delinquent group at school.

Disregarding her parents' instructions, she persisted in associating with this group, which was into drugs and other illicit activities. Within three years, she was married, divorced and had two children by two of these young men. Meanwhile, her dream of becoming a veterinarian is still on hold. As she tends to the children alone, she wonders when she will realistically be able to start college.

By all accounts, Seth was a good person and a law-abiding citizen, but as a high school senior, he found himself in court on a drug charge. According to what his attorney told me, he wasn't afraid of going to jail for a few days. He feared that merely having a drug conviction on his record would keep him out of a good university and would shatter his dream of becoming an engineer.

I worked with this sincere young man and offered him a deal that did not result in a conviction. Today he is getting ready to enter an engineering program, but if he continues to associate with the same "friends" who helped him get arrested, he might not be in the program long.

In each of these cases, a decent young person chose to form relationships with foolish and unprincipled individuals. None of these three appreciated the importance of choosing good friends who would lift them up and make them better persons. Being in a bad circle of friends influenced each of these defendants to abandon good judgment and make choices that led to the courtroom and, in some cases, jail. Beyond the criminal justice system, each person mentioned above is probably scarred for life and may never reach his or her full potential.

If you are reading this magazine, you probably want to do well in life and live in a way that pleases God and those close to you. You probably want to be a good citizen, make a good living, contribute to your church and community and achieve genuine, sustained happiness. The friends you choose and the relationships you forge will have much to do with each of these worthy goals. Your Bible has many timeless lessons and instructions that deal directly with these important issues.

Biblical advice on choosing friends

The book of Proverbs is full of instructions concerning how we can do well and become successful, including instructions on how we should choose our friends. Proverbs 13:20 instructs us that "he who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm" (New International Version throughout, emphasis added). Here we are instructed that to befriend foolish people will bring harm to our lives. On the other hand, seeking out wise friends who live right will bring about blessings.

Proverbs 1:10-16 provides a compelling warning against befriending those who engage in sinful lifestyles. The passage begins, "My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them." Solomon then describes the voice of these sinners: They will persuasively attempt to recruit you for a myriad of sinful or illicit actions, including harming others and theft (verses 11-14). In verse 15, he continues, "My son, do not go along with them, do not set foot on their paths; for their feet rush into sin, they are swift to shed blood."

The apostle Paul affirms: "Do not be misled: 'Bad company corrupts good character'" (1 Corinthians 15:33).

If Chuck, Jennifer and Seth had internalized these passages, perhaps they would have avoided the life-altering consequences of having an unprincipled group of friends.

These scriptures and others indicate that in order to do well, be happy and obey God, we must choose good, principled friends and avoid negative, immoral people.

Advice from successful leaders

Many successful and prominent leaders have discovered the importance of choosing one's friends and associates wisely. If you know someone in business, government or your local church who has accomplished worthwhile endeavors, you can be sure that he or she was influenced by great people along the way.

Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City, understands the fundamental importance of being mindful of your friends and associates. In his best-selling book Leadership (2002), Mr. Giuliani discusses the importance of this issue at length in a chapter titled "Surround Yourself With Great People."

What Mr. Giuliani essentially affirms in this chapter is the consistent and predictable truth of Proverbs 13:20: If you surround yourself with great (wise) people, you will benefit in countless ways. Conversely, if you surround yourself with mediocre, immoral or unethical people, you will take on their character traits and will not do well in life.

Distinguished leadership author John Maxwell teaches this same principle. In his book The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (1998), Mr. Maxwell writes, "A leader's potential is determined by those closest to him." He calls this principle "The Law of the Inner Circle." During His earthly ministry, even Jesus had an "inner circle" that included His most trusted disciples (Peter, James and John). Jesus also called His disciples His friends (John 15:15).

Jesus' example

One should note that even among His disciples, not everyone was included in Jesus' inner circle. Jesus is unique in that His potential was not determined by His friends. Even so, He set a clear example for us to follow in that He had an inner circle of trusted friends and He was careful about whom He included.

So what can we learn from the examples of Chuck, Jennifer and Seth and the writings of Rudy Giuliani and John Maxwell? There is no escaping the truth of Proverbs 13:20: "He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm."

If you apply this principle and surround yourself with good, wise friends and associates throughout your life, you will reap limitless benefits in the forms of success, happiness and personal contribution to others.

To surround yourself with positive people, consider implementing the following strategy: Begin by replacing your negative or morally deficient friends with good ones. This might not be easy, but it is necessary to avoid having these people influence you toward unchristian values. The only way to avoid this possibility is to make a clean yet polite break with the negative group and then gradually make friends with individuals who are moral and positive. These friends will elevate you to higher standards and will help you reach your potential.

Finally, beyond being on the "receiving end" of positive friendships, resolve to be a positive friend yourself. Set a strong, godly example and be a light for others. In this way, you will also contribute to their lives and character. GN

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People Should Choose Their Friends Carefully

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The Importance of Choosing the Right Friends

• Teaching Staff
• July 7, 2014
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The idea of consciously picking and choosing your friends – rather than just letting it happen naturally – can seem callous. But when you think about it, your friends are a very important part of your life and can make a huge difference in the decisions you make and who you become. Who you spend your time with in high school will certainly affect how you experience and handle high school.

High school can be a trying and scary time. You’re experiencing growing into an adult, while also handling a lot more responsibility and higher expectations. Choosing friends who can serve as a strong support system is crucial. Not only will you want to spend time with your friends during good times, but when you need some support, it’s important and extremely helpful to have some reliable and supportive friends to turn to.

Stress relief

Your friends can be a huge stress reliever while you’re in school. It’s important to give yourself time to relax and enjoy yourself, so choosing friends who have the same likes, dislikes and interests as you will be beneficial. You will be much happier and relaxed to share your time with people who have the same interests.

Your friends are also someone you can turn to for help. High school can be difficult, academically, for a lot of people. Having a group of friends who are also invested in their academics as much as you will help if you ever find yourself struggling. Organizing a study group with friends can be fun and beneficial.

As much as some people will try to deny it, your friends will have plenty of influence over your decisions and who your become. This is not always a bad thing, but it does prove the point even further that you should be aware of who your friends are and make sure you share some of the same interests, goals and beliefs.

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What Does the Bible Say about Choosing Our Friends?

If there is one thing I can say in my life, it is that God has blessed me with some wonderful friendships. I don’t say that to be boastful. I say that to be thankful. After choosing a spouse, choosing your friends is one of the most important relationship decisions you will ever make. The old saying is you don’t get to choose your family, but you get to choose your friends. Every friend you have in your life is there because you want them to be (this might be a little scary when you think about who your friends are). 

The truth about friends is they will affect your life because these are the people who are closest to you. Their access to your life is going to lift you up or tear you down. They are going to help you move closer to the Lord, or they will move you away from him. This level of influence in your life makes choosing friends so critical.

For today, I want you to read this article with your closest friends in mind. If you don’t have friends or you have made bad choices in choosing them, then pay close attention. There is a lot of wisdom to gather when you consider what the Bible says about choosing friends.  

What Does the Bible Say about Friends?

A good place to begin is by seeing what the Bible says about friendship . Here are some verses that speak to this topic.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity” ( Proverbs 17:17 ).

“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy” ( Proverbs 27:6 ).

“Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice” ( Proverbs 27:9 ).

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” ( Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 ).

These Scriptures remind us of how valuable good friends can be in your life. With this in mind, it is time for a friendship checkup. When you think of your friends and compare them to the verses we just read, how do they stack up? As you ponder that, don’t rush through the question, but give it serious consideration.   

As you think about your friends and how they measure up, let’s turn to Scripture to see what the Bible says about choosing friends. Here are five Biblical factors you can incorporate into choosing your friends.

1. Choose Carefully - The Process Matters

“The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray” ( Proverbs 12:26 ).

You are giving your friends a seat at the table in your life. Since there are only a few seats that are close to you, be careful about who you give them to.

2. Choose Wisdom - Their Influence Matters

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble” ( Proverbs 13:20 ).

Since your friends are going to influence your life, look for friends who bring wisdom to the table instead of foolishness.

3. Choose Reliability - Their Dependability Matters

“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother” ( Proverbs 18:24 ).

A genuine friend is there for you when you need them. People who are unreliable do not make for good friends.

4. Choose Levelheaded - Their Demeanor Matters

“Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” ( Proverbs 22:24-25 ).

All I can say is if a person is quick-tempered and flies off the handle easily, run from them. These are not the friends you want in your life.

5. Choose Integrity - Their Character Matters

“I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people” ( 1 Corinthians 5:11 ).

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character’” ( 1 Corinthians 15:33 ).

This goes back to influence. If you are around people who lack character, it won’t be long before they tempt you and even expect you to fall in line. Avoid these people at all costs.

Are All Friendships Beneficial?

Without question, all friendships are not beneficial. However, all friendships are influential. The aim is to make good choices in choosing friends because the people you hang around will affect your life. That’s why you must consider the things we mentioned earlier.

You might wonder how you can tell if the friendship is beneficial or not? One way is to consider how you feel after being around that person. Do you feel encouraged, inspired, motivated, or joyous? Or do you feel exhausted, questioning why you are around this person? The nature of the conversations you have and the activities you engage in will speak volumes about the direction this friendship is taking you. If the direction satisfies you and leaves you better off, it is beneficial. If it does not satisfy you or makes you worse off, then it might be time to move on.

Can Christians Be Friends with Non-Christians?

The short answer is yes. Christians can be friends with non-Christians. But there is a caveat which goes back to influence. If you discover that being around this person or having this person in your life is causing you to act or behave in an ungodly or unholy fashion, then it may be time to let this friend go. 

With friends, sometimes it is necessary to put them into different categories. You can still be friends, but you may have to be friends from a distance. There is a good friend of mine who is not a Christian. One thing we have in common is sports, as we are both big sports fans. My friend is also single and likes to engage in activities that are not conducive to a married man and sometimes a Christian man. While he is still my friend, I choose to keep a healthy distance between us for my sake. All your unsaved friends will not be this way, but you must pay close attention to see if their life is affecting yours.

By the way, this is not just true of unsaved friends. Sometimes your Christian friends can be just as unhealthy to be around, so again, watch the level of influence.

What Should We Do if We Need to End an Unhealthy Friendship?

If there is an unhealthy friendship in your life, you need to end it and do it quickly. The best way to end an unhealthy friendship is with distance. This can mean physical space between you, as in you don’t hang around them anymore. It can also mean virtual space between you. This means you stop calling and texting. You can choose to tell them if you wish, but if you find that too difficult to do, then after a while, the distance will make the message clear for you.

A Prayer for God to Give Us Good Friendships

You have created us to be in relationships with each other. I ask you to lead people into my life who will encourage, challenge, motivate, and even correct me if need be. Help me find the right type of friends who will be a positive influence in my life. Friends who will add joy and laughter but who will also inspire me to draw closer to you. Give me wisdom when people present themselves as potential friends so I will know who to let in and who to leave out. Help me not to just find good friends, but to be a good friend as well. I thank you in advance for answering this prayer.

As you think about choosing friends, there is one last thought to leave you with. What kind of friend are you? When you evaluate the role and influence you have in your friends' lives, how does that look? Are you adding to their lives or subtracting from it? When you look at all the Bible says about choosing our friends, let’s make sure we are the type of friend people would want to choose. After all, if you want good friends, it should begin with you being one.

Photo credit:  ©Getty Images/jacoblund

11 Secrets to Choosing the Right Friends

Life coach, career expert and CEO, Ultimate Lifestyle Enterprises

Do you know that you can accurately predict where you'll be five years from now? You can easily know where you'll be going, what you'll be doing, and what your income level will be. If you want to know how, the answer is simple: by the company you keep. The people you associate with have a major impact and influence on your personal success. You can tell where most people are going to end up in life simply based on who they hang around.

It is likely that your income level is in the same range as that of your closest friends. You talk about the same topics and you usually hang out at the same places. In many cases, you may discover that you're reading the same books... or none of you are reading at all.

Although your five closest friends are your best buds, you have to evaluate your relationships when you are ready to make a change for the better. Relationships are like elevators; they are either bringing you up or taking you down. Every connection isn't meant for the long haul... sometimes we find ourselves holding on toxic relationships that expired years earlier. 8This is why it is so important to make the right relationship choices. For your long-term success, you simply must choose the right friends. Here are some secrets to doing so:

1. Associate higher. If you are focused on taking your life/career/business to the next level, then why not associate with people on that next level? Doing this will help expand your mind to greater possibilities. It is natural to feel most comfortable with people who are like you, and that's OK. However, now and then it's good to step outside of your comfort zone and spend time with friends who can expose you to greater things, new information and a higher level of living. If you value these friendships, you will soon find yourself advancing too.

2. Choose friends with similar values. While diversity is great in many ways, when it comes to your general values and beliefs, it's best to keep core friendships with like-minded people. While you can respect others' opinions and differences, choosing friends that hold similar values to yours will keep you from compromising or being negatively influenced by those that don't uphold your values and the standards that you govern your life by. When friends have similar values, they can help keep each other accountable.

3. Choose friends with common goals. I like to call these your purpose partners. When you have friends with common goals, particularly as an entrepreneur, you can push each other. You can work on your goals together and encourage each other in reaching them.

4. Choose friends who can bring balance in areas where you are weaker. We all have our strengths and weaknesses -- you know what yours are. With the right friends, you can tap into the talents, skills and abilities of those that have expertise in areas that you don't. Maybe you aren't the best at keeping your closet organized, but you have a friend that loves organizing -- enlist her help! You might be a great writer and can offer assistance to a friend that is updating her resume. When you utilize each other's strengths, everyone wins.

5. Choose friends that stretch, motivate and encourage you. These types of friends are also great purpose partners. No one wants a friend that is negative or down all the time. It's usually the people that are uplifting and positive that we naturally want to be around. Which category do your friends fall into? What do your conversations with them sound like? The best types of friends will be there to offer a listening ear and help you put a positive spin on any situation.

6. Choose friends that share the same interests. Friends with similar interests simply make life more fun. You can enjoy outings and activities together. Whether it's sports, music, performing arts or food, when you share interests, you can get out and do things together. You have someone to visit new places and enjoy new experiences with.

7. Choose friends that have a thirst for knowledge. Life is about learning, growing and advancing. With friends like this, you can learn from each other. It's always great to have a friend who can recommend a good book or share information with you to help you on your path. Friends who are avid readers are usually great conversationalists and fun to talk to as well.

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8. Choose friends who you can be purpose partners with. By now, you have noticed that this term keeps coming up. To further expand on it, a purpose partner is someone who you can share your goals and dreams with, and they will encourage you toward achieving them. When you tell your purpose partners what you intend to do, they can help you stay accountable to following through. Allow them to check in on you and ask you about your progress -- and do the same for them.

9. Choose friends who will celebrate your success. You want friends that celebrate you, not just tolerate you. A true friend will celebrate every milestone, accomplishment and success story on your journey. They will be genuinely happy to see you succeed and be the first to say "congratulations!" Friends like this can be rare so when you find them, keep them close!

10. Choose friends who are "get-it" people. Get-it people are serious about their goals and serious about success. They don't treat life casually or waste time on frivolous pursuits. They take fast action and get things done. If you consider yourself a get-it person, it's important that you have friends who operate the same way.

11. Give what you expect to get. Every friendship is a give-and-take. If you expect great friends, you first have to be one yourself. If you live by the Golden Rule of treating others as you would want to be treated, then you won't be disappointed -- you will find your friendships fulfilling and rewarding.

Take some time to evaluate your relationships. Do your friends meet the criteria above? Can you call any of them your purpose partners? If so, then great! If not, then it's probably time to branch out and start establishing some new relationships. With the secrets above, you can boost the quality of your relationships and your long-term success.

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5 Reasons Studies Say You Have to Choose Your Friends Wisely

Surrounding with the right people has surprisingly far-reaching effects..

Posted April 10, 2015

The company you keep says a lot about you, because your friends have a major influence on how you feel, think, and behave.

Here are 5 reasons, then, that you should be careful about who you surround yourself with:

1. Strong-willed friends can increase your self-control .

If you struggle to resist temptation, surrounding yourself with people who possess a high degree of self-discipline can help. A 2013 study published in Psychological Science reports that when people are running low on self-control, they often seek out self-disciplined people to boost their willpower. And since self-control is vital to reaching long-term goals, befriending people with willpower could be a stealth secret to success. Whether you’re tempted to skip a workout, or you’re considering blowing this month’s budget, spending time with a disciplined friend could boost your motivation to maintain healthy habits.

2. Having fewer friends increases the likelihood that you’ll take financial risks.

When people lack adequate social interaction, they’re more likely to take bigger risks with money, according to a study published in the June 2013 issue of Journal of Consumer Research . Researchers discovered that people who felt lonely or rejected were most likely to take the biggest financial risks. Whether you’re dealing with a recent break-up, falling out with family, or a failed business venture, be aware that your emotions could affect your spending habits. Uncomfortable emotions can increase the chances that you’ll behave recklessly, which may have a negative impact on your bank account.

3. Having too many social media connections increases your stress level.

When it comes to social media, “the more the merrier” may not be the best approach. A report from the University of Edinburgh Business School found that more Facebook friends means more stress, and researchers linked an abundance of social media connections to increased anxiety about offending people. This effect stemmed from people's desire to present a version of themselves that would be acceptable to all their social media contacts. While your college buddies may enjoy publicly discussing that weekend in Vegas, your parents and co-workers may be less than impressed. So before you begin adding people to your social circle, remember the potential downside to having too many friends on Facebook .

4. Close friends may be the secret to longevity.

When older adults have close confidants, they’re likely to live longer, according to a 2005 study conducted at Australia’s Flinder’s University. After following 1,500 people for 10 years, researchers discovered that people with a large network of friends outlived less-friended counterparts by 22%. Other studies touting the health benefits of friendship have shown that connections can help ward off depression and boost immunity. So while it may be tempting to think that friends can be more trouble than they’re worth, we should be aware that having close friends can be one of the best things we can do for our health.

5. Friends greatly influence your choices .

A 2014 study published in the Journal of Consumer Research found that friends often bond by providing one another with the moral support needed to resist a temptation. However, friends also commonly conspire together to enjoy indulgences. Researchers discovered that when it came to resisting temptations—like eating chocolate—sometimes friends were more likely to become partners in crime as they decided to indulge together.

The reality is that you're likely to start acting more like the people you surround yourself with. When you pick friends who make poor choices, you could get dragged down fast. When you choose people who inspire and challenge you to be better, you'll increase your chances of reaching your goals.

Amy Morin is a psychotherapist and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do , a bestselling book that is being translated into more than 20 languages. Watch the book trailer to learn her story behind the viral article turned book.

Amy Morin, LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker, psychotherapist, and the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do .

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5 Ways to Pick Friends Wisely

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Essay Service Examples Sociology Friendship

The Importance Of Friendship In Our Daily Life

Table of contents

How to write essay about friendship - intro, essay on friendship 1 (100 words), introduction, role of a friend, essay on friendship 2 (200 words), honesty and patience in friendship, essay on friendship 3 (300 words), the desire to belong, the little moments that matter, essay on friendship 4 (400 words), role of friendship in society, steps taken to promote friendship, essay on friendship 5 (500 words), the problems of modern friendship, how to find a real friend, essay on friendship – essay 6 (600 words), benefits of friendship, true and dishonest friendship, carefulness in the selection of friendship, best qualities of good friendship, essay on true friendship – essay 7 (700 words), essay on friendship – essay 8 (900 words), importance, types, examples of friendship – essay 9 (1000 words), importance of friendship, choosing your friends wisely, types of friends, friendship examples from history.

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How to Teach Your Kids To Choose Good Friends

By: Author Thena

Posted on Last updated: January 4, 2022

Categories Latest , Parenting

Photo Credit: Canva

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These tips can help you learn how to teach your kids to choose good friends. Great friends are so important for kids when growing up! 

Every parent wants their kids to grow up and make wise decisions about who they spend time with. Your child needs to learn what qualities a good friend has and how they can spot potential bad influences that might come into their life.

Teaching them the importance of emotional intelligence when choosing friends wisely is an essential lesson that will have a lasting effect on them as adults.

In this post, we’ll talk about what you should do if your child is being bullied , why parents must teach these lessons early on in their children’s lives, and share some tips for teaching kids how to choose good friendships. 

What you should do if your child is being bullied

Some of you may know and probably agree with me on this – children who bully other children are the worst. They’re mean; they don’t seem to care for anyone but themselves.

Those involved with bullying feel isolated, frequently lack self-esteem, and usually suffer from depression because they lack friends. It is one of the main reasons why so many bullies commit suicide every year, and those bullied are twice as likely to consider suicide.

I hope that this doesn’t become the norm, that children will learn to think of others before themselves.

So if your child is being bullied, here’s what you should do :

• Step in. Take action, don’t let it go.
• Be supportive of your child. Show them that you are there for them unconditionally.
• Please don’t make any accusations or assumptions about the person who’s bullying your child. Listen to your child and what they have to say. It should be done in a private setting.
• If you know who’s bullying your child, talk to the parents.
• If you don’t know who’s bullying your child, contact their school. If you’ve already done that and this person is still not reprimanded for their actions, contact the school board or administration.
•  Don’t make a big deal about it. If you begin to act too aggressively towards the parent or the school, it will only make them more defensive, and they will, of course, not change.
•  Talk with your child about bullying and how their behavior might be leading to this kind of treatment.

The best way to prepare your kids in making the right decisions 

 The best way to teach kids is by showing them examples of good and bad friendships. Doing so will help them learn how to differentiate between healthy friendships and friendships that should be avoided.

You don’t have to go into detail. Instead, explain how your parents taught you what type of friends were worth making or not worth. What they told you about these people was usually correct if you think about it.

It would be best if you taught them how friends are supposed to treat each other. For example, being a good friend means that your friend would never use or take advantage of you, that he does not spread rumors about people behind their backs, and that he is always there for you when you need him.

You can teach your child a lot about friendship just by observing how others interact with one another. If they are being mean to each other or taking their anger out on others, your child should know not to do that. Being a friend means being kind and respectful of others. If you teach your child this, they will be on their way to making the right types of friends.

On the other hand, if you never let your child get into any trouble, then she/he won’t be able to differentiate between good and bad friendships because they probably won’t ever encounter one until they are much older. Therefore, the sooner they understand what a good friendship is, the better chance they have of making friends in their lives for a long time.

Teaching children how to choose good friendships from bad ones is very effective because you give them knowledge rather than just telling them not to do something. Also, if your child chooses well-behaved friends, you can be confident that s/he is learning from the best.

Why it’s important to teach your kids about choosing good friends

Teaching your kids about choosing good friends is a great way to help them avoid some of the problems that bad choices could lead to in their lives.

Most kids are very impressionable, and if they make friends with less-than-desirable types, they can be pulled down into negative behaviors. Kids who get involved in risky activities often do so because their friends encourage them to do it.

Just as your child’s friends can chip away at his moral fiber, they also have the power to build him up and make him reach his full potential. Your children will draw on these qualities when making decisions throughout life and even in choosing a career later on.

Teaching kids about choosing good friends does not mean you are telling them who to be friends with; instead, it means having a discussion with your children about what makes a good friend and how to spot those qualities. 

By doing this, your kids will be able to make their own decisions about who they want to invite into their lives, and you won’t have to worry that they are going down the wrong path.

  Tips for teaching your children how to choose a good friend

In this day and age, most children have to grow up with a lot of social pressure. As a parent, you will do everything in your power to make sure that your child can learn all they need to know to survive the real world.

With this in mind, here are some tips on how you can teach your child to make good friends:

• Teach your children to take time before deciding whether or not to make friends with someone . Please don’t allow them to make an impulsive decision about whether or not a person is worthy of their friendship.
• Teach your children that kids who are manipulative and full of themselves do not make good friends. If they hang out with manipulative and self-centered kids, then they might start thinking that this is how they should be.
• Teach your children that good friends don’t need to put someone down to build themselves up constantly. They will find that people who try to insult others usually keep doing it because they know the insults are true about them deep down.
• Teach your children that losers use violence or threats of violence to establish their position . They should never seek out friends like this, and if they see these things in action, they should leave the area quickly.
• Teach your children that losers often try to control someone’s friendship group . If a loser friend isolates them from the rest of the crowd, you need to teach them that this is not a person they need to be friends with.
• Teach your children that losers often make excuses for their behavior and always blame others. The truth is, they are simply trying to insulate themselves from criticism. If your child sees such behavior in action, encourage them to question why the loser behaves like this and look for an intelligent answer.
• Teach your children that losers often get into trouble and, instead of telling the truth about what happened, they try to cover things up. They know what they did was wrong and don’t want to be held responsible for their actions. Your child should learn how to spot this behavior in action and do what they can to encourage the loser in question to tell the truth.
• Teach your children that losers often don’t keep their promises. If they make a verbal agreement with them, they should hold them accountable and see what happens when it isn’t kept. This behavior can be used to explain why they are bad friends; your children should also think about what this says about the loser’s character.
• Teach your children that losers often use other people’s weaknesses to get ahead of them. If they are ever faced with evidence of such behavior, you need to teach them how to set boundaries and not allow themselves to be used in such a way; they will eventually see that friends like this will never be looked up to.
• Teach your children that losers often blame others for their mistakes and problems. They usually try to pass the buck when things don’t go their way. If your child is ever faced with such behavior, teach them not to get involved with it and walk away from such people themselves.

Choosing friends is an important decision, and it’s one that your children will have to make on their own someday. Teaching them how to do so now can help them avoid the pain of being bullied or feeling left out when they are older.

 It may seem like a daunting task, but there are ways you can teach your kids about choosing good friends without seeming too preachy or overbearing. To get started, introduce the idea of what makes for good friendships by asking questions such as “What should be qualities in a friend?

Check out more Parenting Articles

5 Easy Ways To Raise Helpful Kids: Start Them Young

10 Things I Want To Tell New Parents

Positive Parenting: How Do I Fix Positivity In My Kids At An Early Age

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