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Web Video / Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews

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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews , hosted by Brandon Tenold, is a Web Video review series focusing on cult cinema, including low-budget sci-fi, dinosaurs, foreign knock-offs and the films of Caroline Munro. Many of the episodes were originally produced in 2011-2014 but were pulled down from YouTube due to copyright issues. The show returned with new episodes soon after and was picked up by Channel Awesome , before leaving that platform in a mass exodus in 2018.

Oh no! Tropes! My one weakness!

• Aborted Arc : In October 2014, Brandon planned to feature all three Tales from the Crypt movies. However, after a DMCA takedown of his review of Bordello of Blood , he chose not to post a review of the third film, The Ritual . He later would say it's the worst of the three films. Subverted when, in 2017, he finally reviewed the film.

• Actually Pretty Funny : Brandon admits to being amused by some of the jokes in the generally sub-par Student Bodies .
• Ask a Stupid Question... : Often gives sarcastic replies to a character's dumb question. To provide an example, in his review of Battle Beyond the Stars : Cayman: [after being compared to Sador , a Berserk Button because Sador killed his whole race] Sador? Sador of the Malmori? Brandon: No, Sador Smith . You probably got them confused. Who the hell do you think she was talking about?
• Dinosaurs. He even watched Epic: Days of the Dinosaur because of this even though it only has one dinosaur in it for a couple of minutes . And Caroline Munro, of course.
• He's made Top 10 lists of the best Ray Harryhausen movies and the top Godzilla movies, although he's also reviewed some of the stinkers from the latter. He also made a few jokes at the expense of the producers of The Giant Claw deciding not to hire Harryhausen to create the film's monster (instead using an effects company in Mexico to save money, and resulting in one of the most goofy B-Movie monsters ever as a result), even flat out asking " What Were You Thinking? "
• Brandon did a whole month on the Lost World movies of Doug McClure and was excited enough that Doug appeared in Firebird 2015 A.D. during his "Canuxploitation-a-thon" that he brought back the opening to McClure 's month (well, a few seconds of it).
• Classic rock. His previous video series was music-centered, and he's worked in references to Deep Purple , Hawkwind , and Parliament-Funkadelic in his movie reviews. He also took a short break from reviews in late 2015 to go on tour with his band, where he plays bass guitar.
• In early 2016, Brandon has done a " Gamera-a-thon ," a series reviewing the Showa Gamera films. Although he clamied that he wasn't really a Gamera fan and was mostly doing the marathon due to fan demand.
• Bait-and-Switch : After explaining the origins of Creep Show , he finishes off with this comment: "So we've got two titans of the horror genre finally working together for the first time. What could go wrong? (beat) Nothing! Sometimes I do movies I like on this channel ."
• Not really berserk, as in screaming, raving mad, but Brandon is especially annoyed with the Tagalong Kid in the Gamera films, referring to them generically as "Kenny", or in the rare case of a young girl, "Kendra."
• In his review of 1969 Mexican film Night of the Bloody Apes , Brandon gets ticked off when the English-language voice dubs pronounce the name "Julio" as "Jew-lio" instead of "Who-lio."
• Brick Joke : His review of The War of the Worlds (1953) ended with him snarkily suggesting that he'd probably follow up his review of a legitimately good sci-fi classic with a movie about "TV Zombies or something". His very next review was of The Video Dead .
• The Cameo : So far, The Cinema Snob showed up in the Alienator review, and Linkara loaned Brandon an " I AM A MAN!!! " for America 3000. Brandon has also cameoed in Linkara's 500th Episode 3-parter. Much later, Monster Island Buddies wrote a comedic recap for Part 2 of his King Kong vs. Godzilla review.
• Celebrity Resemblance : A couple of times he has made jokes about his similarity to Michael C. Hall , or as a fan said it, a "Canadian Dexter ".
• An older one was usually uttered in reference to the antagonists' plots, "Of course! The fiends!"
• " In the far-off future of ... (insert past year here) !"
• (observing that characters in a situation tend to die ) "Ah, I'm sure they'll be fine."
• Covers Always Lie : Played with in his The Dragon Lives Again review. The DVD case promises it's the strangest martial arts movie ever. Brad gives it a watch to verify the claim, and he finds it pretty accurate.
• Critical Backlash : invoked He thinks Lifeforce (1985) is much better than critics give it credit for.
• Crossover : His only crossover so far, a review of The Haunted World Of El Super Beasto with The Stupid Team.
• Deadpan Snarker : Possibly one of the snarkiest reviewers out there. The movies he reviews often are cheesy in their tone and special effects, and he loves making fun of them.
• Deranged Animation : So far he's reviewed Felidae , Wicked City , Once Upon a Girl. , Wizards and Fight! Iczer One! .
• Dull Surprise : A sailor at the beginning of A*P*E is either stoned out of his mind or really badly dubbed (or both). His dull "Oh shit" made Brandon crack up.
• Early-Installment Weirdness : Brandon's riffing was much dryer and more deadpan in the early reviews, later episodes have much more energy and vitriol, more in league with the house style of Channel Awesome. One of Brandon's favorite hobbies may have contributed to the more laid back tone of the first videos.
• Everyone Has Standards : He hates Kennys, but still balks at the thought of them being molested. "Never thought I'd say this, but RUN, KENNY!"
• This trend created many of the films Brandon has reviewed, including three separate King Kong rip-offs and the Starcrash movies. He also made a month-long series of movies (most of them Italian) that ripped off Alien .
• Of particular note is The Dark (1979) , a film originally about a murderous zombie that was rewritten as a space alien to try and ride the coat tails of Star Wars . The change was accomplished pretty much solely by badly adding in laser effects during murder scenes.
• While he makes plenty of humor about Gorgo being similar to Godzilla (even making a Bait-and-Switch gag when he acts like he's going to review a Godzilla movie, as he's been asked so often), he also points out that Gorgo had a few interesting twists (like the fact Monster Is a Mommy — he even says he likes the little Gorgo more than Minilla).
• He makes a callback to this in his review of the sequel, when a demon emerges from a TV, distorting the screen: "Lucio Fulci presenta... Videodrome ."
• Gushing About Shows You Like : In-Universe he found a way to gush about Demon Knight in a sarcastic, backhanded manner. Basically he "complained" that because the movie had a strong cast, good writing, and a compelling plot, it was making his job as a snarky critic very hard to do.
• Hypocritical Humor : When Brandon reviewed Godzilla: Final Wars he noted the presence of Don Frye, MMA fighter and pro wrestler who the director was a fan of. He briefly made fun of the idea of bringing in a pro wrestler to garner attention, right before his video had a cameo from Simon Gotch (pro wrestler and half of the former WWE tag team the Vaudevillains). Brandon: (smirking after the cameo ends) I know a wrestler.
• Kid-Appeal Character : Brandon dislikes most small child characters in films, noting his disdain for the kids in Gunhed , and claiming that it's part of the reason that he prefers Godzilla over Gamera . In his review of Son of Godzilla , he notes that while Minya was created to appeal to kids, even when he was young he watched Godzilla films for Godzilla, rather than his son. It's since become a Berserk Button (or more like "snark button") and he made a label for all of them:
• Lighter and Softer : Aside from the aforementioned example of Demon Knight and his uber-popular Godzilla reviews, Brandon has gradually started reviewing more films that he actually likes, such as Black Christmas (1974) and the first Phantasm film.
• He makes a reappearance for the Godzilla: Final Wars video, this time with a rather large axe.
• He's finally taken down in the Godzilla and Mothra: The Battle for Earth video — not by Brandon, but by the Canadian winter. The last we see of him is him lying facedown in the snow, holding a note reading " FUCK ME, IT'S COLD !"
• And then he comes back for very end of the the Godzilla 2000 video, ducking down behind the window as Brandon notices him.
• Memetic Badass : In-Universe . As Spoony did for Reb Brown and as the Snob did for Pierre Kirby, Brandon does for Doug McClure , highlighting a scene in The People That Time Forgot where McClure takes an arrow to the face and just shrugs it off.
• The crab monster... thing in The Lost Continent , along with many of that movie's twists.
• True to the text, Brandon finds The Film of the Book of The Final Programme to be a non-stop Mind Screw from beginning to end.
• The Mockbuster : Several reviewed films are this, including Turkish Spider-Man , Starcrash , and A*P*E
• My Country Tis of Thee That I Sting : He's done several jokes regarding being Canadian, including reviewing several bad movies made in the country (the "Canuxploitation" specials), using the name of the national anthem as a Review Ironic Echo in them, and multiple jokes about how Saskachetwan gets very cold in the winter , and not much warmer in the summer (e.g. Black Christmas (1974) showing a toasty Canadian July).
• Narm : In-Universe he laughed at the second kill in The Dark (1979) , due to the shoddy effects added in.
• Obligatory Joke : Brandon stops himself from making a "dingoes took my baby" joke while watching Epic (1984)
• He's also created a minor running gag out of a clip of a character from A*P*E giving a very bored line-read of "Oh shit."
• Oscar Bait : Even labeled as such on-screen with McClure 's character's dying speech in The People That Time Forgot .
• Overused Running Gag : Not so much lampshaded that he uses it a lot so much as lampshading why he didn't used it: In his review of Miami Connection he points out that he didn't used the "no-one will be seated during the thrilling [boring segment where nothing interesting happens]" Running Gag because there are so many segments where nothing happens that he would have run it into the ground.
• Politically Incorrect Hero : Joked about in his review of Miami Connection , after the hero band sings a song called "Against The Ninja". Brandon lampshades the bad guys are a ninja dojo and says that maybe the reason they are out to kill the heroes is because they are offended by the song.
• Product Placement : Brandon spoofs Rock and Roll Nightmare and its constant Coke product placement (at one point, Jon Mikl Thor conspicuously turns a can around so that the label on a can of Coke is facing towards the camera).
• Real-Life Relative : invoked For the Crying Freeman review, Brandon mentions that stars Mark Dacascos and Julie Condra are married in real life.
• Reference Overdosed : Like any internet critic worth their salt, Brandon throws references into his comments whenever he can.
• Also done heavily in his "Get Mean" review, whenever the characters lampshade how insane the situation is.
• "Maybe we'll get to see some nudity?" [NOPE].
• Any movie with a bunch of alternate titles will have A Bay of Blood be the last listed.
• An episode-specific one: Frequently shouting "Holy shit! I think Marty's the killer!" in the review of Slaughter High after the "twist" is telegraphed in the first couple of minutes.
• Whenever Caroline Munro appears, she's accompanied by the song "Warrior of Love"... which is actually sung by her.
• "No one will be seated during the thrilling..."
• "Of course! The fiends!"
• " DECAPITATIOOOOOON! " whenever someone is decapitated.
• In Demon Knight he used the line "Put a cork in it, Zane !" from Zoolander .
• " Title Drop !"
• Playing a clip of Pharoahe Monch's "Simon Says (Get the Fuck Up)" whenever Godzilla is awakened from sleeping/being knocked unconscious to wake him up.
• (Something odd or mundane kills someone on-screen) "(Something odd or mundane)! His/Her/Its one weakness!" Occasionally varied by pretending it's the dying character saying this.
• Playing the battle music of Star Trek: The Original Series episode Amok Time (also known as the Decapodian National Anthem ) Once an Episode during a fight sequence in his " Doug Mc Clure -a-Thon".
• Snarking constantly about the description of the bird as "a giant battleship" in his review of The Giant Claw .
• Playing a snippet of "Drinkin' Boys" by DJ Ozma (AKA the one with a bunch of naked singers covering themselves with paper fans) when he wants to refer to Japanese media being weird .
• Fans constantly asking him when the next review of a Godzilla movie will come out, as well as Godzilla's Revenge being a personal Trauma Button .
• After playing the battle music from the Star Trek: The Original Series episode Amok Time Once an Episode during his " Doug Mc Clure -a-Thon" (with varying degrees of earnestness) he played only five seconds of the music in the final review ("Warriors of Atlantis") before stopping it and saying he was bored of it.
• The above-mentioned running gag with "Drinkin' Boys" comes to an end in the review of Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds with him stopping the video snippet and saying he's tired of it.
• In his review of Horror Express , he exploits the fact that one of the characters is played by Telly Savalas to drop three " who [x]'s you, baby? " jokes and say (after Savalas' character is appropriately killed off) that "ok, I swear I'll stop with the 'Kojak' jokes."
• The Scrappy : In-Universe , he considers any obnoxious kid, that gets far more screen time than reasonable, to be this for a movie, particularly any "Kenny" character in a Gamera film.
• Shallow Parody : invoked Brandon's chief problem with Queen Kong, even comparing the level of humor to Seltzer and Friedberg .
• Shared Universe : Because of his cameos and his inclusion onto Channel Awesome, he's part of the Reviewaverse.
• Numerous to Mystery Science Theater 3000 ; there used to be a reference to or clip from the show in pretty much every review.
• Doctor Who also comes up in a lot of jokes. It's even been lampshaded a few times, such as during the review of The Giant Claw .
• Another from the A*P*E review: he can't think of a joke about the lead actress being the mom from Growing Pains , so he cuts to a clip from The Venture Bros. that makes the joke for him.
• Played the "Real American" theme as the intro to the Doug McClure tributes, at least before the copywriters chimed in.
• He gave one to This Very Wiki in his Godzilla vs. King Ghidorah review where he shows the Japan Takes Over the World page after the film mentions Japan becomes the world's greatest super power in the future.
• Signing-Off Catchphrase : "Well that's all for now, until next time."
• So Bad, It's Good : invoked Brandon's genre of choice, although he ranks some above others.
• Soundtrack Dissonance : Several of his reviews feature him noting the ill-fitting music, notably Legend of Dinosaurs and Monster Birds and Son of Godzilla .
• Space Whale Aesop : Invoked at the end of his Godzilla vs. Hedorah review: "The important lesson to take away from this movie is to respect the environment, because if you don't a giant sludge monster will force you to star in the world's biggest Bukake video"
• This Is Gonna Suck : The review of Creep Show 3 begins with him groaning into his hands before angrily saying "screw it! Get to the title card!" He repeats a similar action after seeing the animated opening sequence.
• Title Drop : Referenced by name when it happens in The Land That Time Forgot and The Final Programme.
• Top Ten List : He did a list of the 10 worst films he reviewed, and then updated it a few years later. The second list was paired with the 10 best films he reviewed.
• Watch It Stoned : invoked He's made a few jokes about using drugs to watch a movie (or go through its review) if he considers it just that bad.
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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews

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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews is an internet review series created by Brandon Tenold where he reviews movies that have gained cult followings since their releases. The series made its debut on TGWTG.com in November 2014.

Brandon left Channel Awesome on April 8th, 2018.

Episodes [ ]

• The Giant Claw (November 6th, 2014)
• 2019: After the Fall of New York (November 18th, 2014)
• Once Upon a Girl (November 29th, 2014)
• Starcrash 2 (December 10th, 2014)
• Top 10 Ray Harryhausen Films (December 17th, 2014)
• Alienator (December 24th, 2014)
• Epic Days of the Dinosaur (December 29th, 2014)
• Top 10 Godzilla Films (January 1st, 2015)
• Slaughter High (January 8th, 2015)
• Challenge of the Tiger (January 16th, 2015)
• War God (January 24th, 2015)
• I Drink Your Blood (January 30th, 2015)
• The Dragon Lives Again (February 6th, 2015)
• Son of Godzilla (February 13th, 2015)
• Destroy All Monsters (February 20th, 2015)
• Queen Kong (February 27th, 2015)
• America 3000 (March 6th, 2015)
• The Dark (March 13th, 2015)
• Turkish Batman (March 20th, 2015)
• Turkish Superman (March 27th, 2015)
• Lionman (April 3rd, 2015)
• Wicked City (April 10th, 2015)
• Wicked City Live Action (April 17th, 2015)
• Reefer Madness (April 24th, 2015)
• Tarantula (May 8th, 2015)
• Gorgo (May 15th, 2015)
• Gamera (June 5th, 2015)
• Mystery on Monster Island (June 26th, 2015)
• Red Scorpion (July 10th, 2015)
• Gamera vs. Barugon (July 24th, 2015)
• Argoman (August 21st, 2015)
• Twitch of the Death Nerve (August 28th, 2015)
• Gamera vs. Gyaos (September 11th, 2015)
• Miami Connection (September 25th, 2015)
• Bordello of Blood (October 9th, 2015)
• The Last Shark (October 23rd, 2015)
• Legend of the Dinosaurs (November 30th, 2015)
• Gamera vs Viras (December 4th, 2015)
• Deathsport (December 21st, 2015)
• Gamera vs Guiron (January 15th, 2016)
• Massacre In Dinosaur Valley (January 26th, 2016)
• Gamera vs. Jiger (February 2nd, 2016)
• Korean Tron (February 19th, 2016)
• Gamera vs. Zigra (March 2nd, 2016)
• Death Machine (March 15th, 2016)
• Turkish Flash Gordon (March 22nd, 2016)
• Gamera Super Monster (April 11th, 2016)
• Raw Force (April 23rd, 2016)
• Godzilla vs. The Sea Monster (May 5th, 2016)
• Gunhed (May 14th, 2016)
• Infra-Man (June 1st, 2016)
• The Children (June 11th, 2016)
• Spaced Out (June 20th, 2016)
• The Ghastly Love of Johnny X (July 1st, 2016)
• Dr. Strange 1978 (July 12th, 2016)
• Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla (July 22nd, 2016)
• 9 Deaths Of The Ninja (August 3rd, 2016)
• Fantasy Mission Force (August 18th, 2016)
• Blue Monkey (August 29th, 2016)
• The Carpenter (September 10th, 2016)
• 3 Supermen and Mad Girl (September 15th, 2016)
• Firebird 2015 A.D. (September 24th, 2016)
• Felidae (September 29th, 2016)
• The Shape of Things To Come (October 8th, 2016)
• Another Turkish Superman (November 5th, 2016)
• Bloody Moon (December 9th, 2016)
• Terror Of Mechagodzilla (December 19th, 2016)
• The Story of Chinese Gods (December 26th, 2016)
• The Wild, Wild Planet (January 3rd, 2017)
• Sorority House Massacre (January 12th, 2017)
• Sorority House Massacre 2 (January 18th, 2017)
• The Dark Side Of The Moon (January 26th, 2017)
• For Your Height Only (January 31st, 2017)
• When Dinosaurs Ruled The Earth (February 8th, 2017)
• The Guyver (February 16th, 2017)
• The Guyver 2: Dark Hero (February 22nd, 2017)
• King Kong Escapes (March 3rd, 2017)
• Lifeforce (Part 1) (March 15th, 2017)
• Lifeforce (Part 2) (March 18th, 2017)
• The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires (March 30th, 2017)
• Without Warning (April 6th, 2017)
• Motel Hell (April 13th, 2017)
• Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky (April 20th, 2017)
• Lady Snowblood (April 27th, 2017)
• Galaxy Of Terror (May 4th, 2017)
• Contamination (May 11th, 2017)
• Lily C.A.T. (May 18th, 2017)
• Creature (May 25th, 2017)
• City of the Living Dead (June 1st, 2017)
• Godzilla 1985 (June 8th, 2017)
• Korean Wonder Woman (June 15th, 2017)
• Transformers: The Movie (June 22nd, 2017)
• Rodan (June 30th, 2017)
• Get Mean (July 6th, 2017)
• Death Machines (July 14th, 2017)
• The Devil's Sword (July 20th, 2017)
• TerrorVision (July 27th, 2017)
• Fist Of The North Star Live Action (August 3rd, 2017)
• Mystics in Bali (August 10th, 2017)
• The Deadly Spawn (August 17th, 2017)
• Girls Nite Out (August 24th, 2017)
• Planet Of Dinosaurs (September 1st, 2017)
• War Of The Robots (September 4th, 2017)
• Godzilla vs. Hedorah (September 11th, 2017)
• Slugs (September 18th, 2017)
• Mothra (September 23rd, 2017)
• Battle Beyond The Stars (September 30th, 2017)
• From Beyond (October 6th, 2017)
• Blood Diner (October 12th, 2017)
• Ritual (October 19th, 2017)
• Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (October 26th, 2017)
• Halloween 3: Season of the Witch (November 2nd, 2017)
• Q: The Winged Serpent (November 9th, 2017)
• Gamera The Brave (November 16th, 2017)
• The Great Alligator (November 24th, 2017)
• The Green Slime (November 30th, 2017)
• Godzilla vs. Gigan (December 8th, 2017)
• Turkish Star Wars (December 15th, 2017)
• Turkish Star Wars 2 (December 21st, 2017)
• Black Christmas (December 26th, 2017)
• Wizards (January 12th, 2018)
• Silver Bullet (January 19th, 2018)
• R.O.T.O.R. (January 26th, 2018)
• Matango (February 2nd, 2018)
• Night Train To Terror (February 10th, 2018)
• Carnosaur (February 17th, 2018)
• Carnosaur 2 (February 24th, 2018)
• Carnosaur 3 (March 3rd, 2018)
• China Strike Force (March 10th, 2018)
• Deadly Eyes (March 19th, 2018)
• Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews on Channel Awesome
• 1 Wish (NC)
• 2 The Top Ten Worst Hit Songs of 2023
• 3 Disneycember

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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews

A list of films covered by Brandon Tenold on his YouTube channel "Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews". www.youtube.com/channel/UC51tRQjet4Z45Of3n1Qxn8A (Now includes "Russian Jason and the Argonauts"!) Note: If the review is of a specific release/dub of a film that has its own entry on LB, then that is the version that will be included on the list.

For a list of films that Brandon has referenced in his episodes, but not reviewed, see here: boxd.it/cYdf8

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If you want to be this generous with your support, not only will you get all of the above rewards, but I will also review a movie of your choice.  The only caveats are:

It has to fit within the "cult/genre" film theme of my show.  I have a pretty wide range when it comes to this sort of thing, but I reserve the right to veto the movie if I think it wouldn't fit in, which means I won't be reviewing something like "Driving Miss Daisy" (unless you pledge $10,000 or something, THEN I might do it).  If you're unsure if your movie is something I would cover, you can always ask me.

If it's a movie that's only available as a bootleg in North America, I need to be able to get my hands on a copy.

Keep in mind that if I'm currently working on another video, it may take a little while for me to get to your movie.  I will get to it as soon as I can though. 

Follow those rules, and I will gladly review/riff your movie! 

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Brandon's Cult Movie Reviews

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The Vampire Lovers

• Episode aired Apr 19, 2024

Time to dip into the 'sexy vampire' genre with the 1970 Hammer movie "The Vampire Lovers", starring Ingrid Pitt and Peter Cushing. Time to dip into the 'sexy vampire' genre with the 1970 Hammer movie "The Vampire Lovers", starring Ingrid Pitt and Peter Cushing. Time to dip into the 'sexy vampire' genre with the 1970 Hammer movie "The Vampire Lovers", starring Ingrid Pitt and Peter Cushing.

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• April 19, 2024 (United States)
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‘Boy Kills World’: See Bill Kill. Kill, Bill, Kill!

By David Fear

To some, he’ll always be Pennywise, the eternal sewer-dwelling clown of your nightmares. To others, he’s the hapless, unlucky Air Bnb occupant in Barbarian or the ambitious, sniveling Marquis in the John Wick -iverse. And to still others, he’s the kid who followed his dad Stellan and his older brother Alexander into the family business, carving out a nice niche playing weirdos, monsters and assorted oddballs. Soon, people will think of Bill Skarsgård as the Next Action-Movie Savior, with the 33-year-old Swedish actor stepping into the lead role in The Crow and bravely attempting to outrun the shadow of Brandon Lee. (Should you wonder whether he’s given up characters destined to haunt the collective consciousness, don’t worry: Skarsgård is also playing the feral vampire in Nosferatu, Robert Eggers’ remake of the 1922 German silent.)

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