the home which i grew up essay

Whats your Grief

Saying Goodbye to a Home and Grieving Places Past

Understanding Grief / Understanding Grief : Eleanor Haley

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My grandmother belonged in her home like a doll in her dollhouse. Each article of clothing, piece of furniture, and accessory seemed perfectly suited to her style and personality. I imagine her now, standing in her doorway at 12 am in a cotton nightgown, ushering my rumpled and crumpled family of eight inside after the long voyage between our home in Syracuse, New York to hers in Massachusetts.

She was not a traditional grandmother in any sense. Her knick-knacks were precious, her attire was elegant, and she always wore her hair in a youthful red bob. She was tough and smart and energetic and the guts and nerve contained in her petite 5’0 frame rivaled that of any 10 men.

My memories of my grandmother are made three dimensional by the details of her environment - the sound of the creaky back stairs, the smell of mothballs in her large linen closet, the hum of crickets drifting into her living room on summer nights while my sister and I listened to old records and my grandmother danced in the arms of an invisible beau, her nightly glass of sherry in hand.

Her house was like a living breathing thing with character and history. Scattered throughout, the secrets of her youth and the soap opera stories of those who came before her could be found in dark cellars, deep closets, and heavy oak drawers. Fascinating treasures told of a time when my grandmother was a knockout who wore sparkly dresses and fur coats to fancy parties; when the women of the house hosted dinner parties with fine china and good silver; and when adults, influenced by depression era proclivities, stockpiled commodities like matchbooks and sugar packets.

During visits to my grandmother’s house, I felt like I was a girl in one of my books like The Secret Garden who slept in a bedroom with a four-poster bed and whose only amusement was to wander the grounds and daydream. Sitting in the grass behind her house I would wonder who sat here a century ago and imagine the stone garage and little barn lining the yard’s perimeter were still the chauffer’s and the gardener’s domain.

Perhaps the sounds of my sisters doing cartwheels in the yard could be heard or perhaps my father drove his big van down the gravel driveway and, after stopping with a final crunch, emerged from the front seat with a six-pack of beer – these are the details I can't recall. What I can remember is letting my romantic imagination run wild, whisked away on the wind it skipped and danced with the fireflies, as the gloaming’s quiet magic turned the sun from gold to red to dim.

I remarked very recently that we are never so kind as we are to people, places, and things that are gone and maybe when it comes to my grandmother’s house this is so. The last time I visited was just before it was sold and prior to then, I hadn’t been back for years. By the time I returned it was empty and all my grandmother's belongings had been boxed up and stored away.

Standing in the hallway looking into bare rooms I thought the house looked sad and frail – as though the cancer that took my grandmother had weakened its structure as well. I had hoped returning would help me remember my grandmother and the childhood days I spent there, but I was too late. My hopes of seeing the house one last time and preserving it pleasantly in my memory were gone.

People give up homes for various reasons. Sometimes the circumstances are in their control (such as making the choice to sell a house and move to a new one) and sometimes they aren’t (like in the case of a foreclosure, house fire, natural disaster, or death of the primary resident). Leaving a home can be very sad and emotional regardless of the reason.

Over the past few years, I’ve found myself grieving the loss of my grandmother’s house - both the physical place as well as the people and feelings associated with it - and I've often wondered what I could have done to find more meaningful closure. So, together with the help of our readers, here are suggestions for saying goodbye to a home and grieving places past.

Saying Goodbye to a Home:

• Visit: If the place is not your primary residence, find an opportunity to visit one last time. Be prepared though, there's a chance it will seem altered and different. Reader Tracy reflects, "...the home which once held lots of laughter, fun, insight, love, comfort & great memories of times well spent together....now was just a structure, a house."
• Document: Take photographs of different rooms and significant places.
• Say a ceremonial goodbye : Kimberly, one of our readers, offers her experience, "Before we moved we shared, as a family, our favorite memories we had in the home. We then blessed and released the home to the new owners wishing for them all the good times & great memories we had."
• Have a photo shoot : Hire a photographer and have one last family photo shoot. For example, check out this touching father/daughter photo shoot .
• Spend Time: Spend purposeful and meaningful time in the home. Reader Dawn suggests, "...taking time in each room and letting the memories come. Also placing your hands on the walls, doors, windows or special areas for as long as feels right."
• Leave your mark : Carve your initials in a tree, write a message in a door jam, make handprints in cement, or bury a time capsule in the backyard.
• Care for it: Reader Susan shares her experience with a house she didn't particularly love, "... when I knew that I'd be selling and moving from the place. I felt a sense of responsibility to actively love the home, by making it more lovely -- painting, caring for the things that needed fixing so that the place would be infused with my blessing, and consequently, bless the new owners. I literally prayed that the family who bought the home would have years of happiness and peace there. I felt better about leaving the home, with my blessing, maybe because I had dealt with my conflicted feelings about the place. I felt free to love a new home then, with little looking back or regrets."
• Take something with you : Unearth a plant or tree to replant at your new location, take a brick out of the front pathway, unscrew a doorknob - go ahead and cause some destruction.

Grieving Places from the Past:

• Visit: As awkward as knocking on a stranger's door and asking to walk around their home may seem, revisiting a place that's been sold to new owners can be kind of cool. The current inhabitants may get a kick out of hearing old stories about their home and it may make you feel better to know the house is being cared for an appreciated (if this is indeed the case). If the home is no longer standing, you can always revisit the lot - this has the potential to be kind of a bummer but maybe worth the visit nonetheless.
• Reminisce: Talk about memories you had in the home, both with those who you shared the memories with and those you didn't (maybe your kids or friends).
• Create a Heritage Album: Document details of your past home(s) as a part of your family history. Here's a book about crafting your own heritage album.
• Collect photos and scrapbook: If your not quite ready to document your family history but want to remember the home, collect photos and create a few scrapbook pages. This is a good activity to do with kids.
• Research the house: Here's a guide detailing resources for researching architectural and historical facts about a house.
• Create: Write a poem, essay, or song. Draw or paint a picture.

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73 comments on "saying goodbye to a home and grieving places past".

Ella N   February 25, 2024 at 2:02 am Reply

Ugh. That’s about the best way i can describe my feelings right now. These past 6ish months have been insane, and now I have to say goodbye to the house i have lived in for my whole life, it’s being sold this week. I’m 16, and this just feels so unfair. First my parents divorce, which yeah- no-ones surprised, and then i help my mom buy a house for us to live in during the weekdays. I was fine, because I still had my childhood home there that i could go back to. Then, my dad decides to find a new girlfriend before the divorce is really even finalized, which means he wants to buy a new house so that she’s not uncomfortable, or something. if anyone has any suggestions for grieving the loss of a childhood home that aren’t as… i guess… mature? With less of an adult grieving in mind, and more like a teenager who’s in the third stage of grief, that would be great ❤️

Laurie   August 15, 2023 at 8:38 pm Reply

I have been going through a quaint home of my parents. Being a military brat, it is the only home I really knew and was purchased in the 60″s. Clearing out ( still) 70 years of their life has been so profoundly difficult. I helped remodel this house for my mom internally so it is not exactly as it had always been. In SO many ways it is impractical for me to consider keeping it. It is either a plane ride or a very long 2 day drive and all the expenses and upkeep, the cost, the worry, dog care to go…. I have just found myself struggling at the mere thought of another goodbye after helping two parents die within 18 months. If anyone has any thoughts, let me know. thank you

Michelle   September 4, 2023 at 7:10 pm Reply

Wow. I thought I was the only one. I’m 58 and find myself crying and missing my grandmother’s farm. It is on my mind constantly and I feel such pain. It was a light in my troubled childhood when I escaped my parent’s home and spent joyful light-filled summers there without a care in the world.

NR   March 17, 2023 at 1:59 pm Reply

This is just what I needed. I am moving out of the house I have lived in since 1987 next month and as the day draws closer the grief is hitting me like a ton of bricks. I am excited to move and look forward to my new apartment, but I keep looking around the house in sadness knowing in a few weeks everything will be gone. The sadness is worse at night when I’m relaxing in bed after coming home from work. My grandmother died over 20 years ago and my aunt is selling it, it is in a an overvalued/overinflated market and would need a major facelift in order for me to enjoy it the way I want for the next few decades and it’s just not worth it considering the neighborhood is not ideal, by the time everything would be done the way I would want it done, the house purchase+major remodel would be well over 1 million dollars and it is no where being a mansion. I want to move to another state anyway in a few years so it really wouldn’t make sense to even hold on to something like that. I was 12 when I moved in and now I’m close to 50. My routine has been here and now it is about to be a new start. I’m happy but the memories that were made here is just eating me to my core. I get so sad at night and I just walk around and look at the ceilings and the walls and I just can’t believe this is the end of the road but it is. I know that this move is going to help me professionally and financially in the long run but it’s just getting to that move date in a few weeks plus the rest of the year trying to adjust that’s going to be hard to get through. This message board is helping me tremendously knowing that other people have gone through this and are surviving it. I know I am going to start crying real tears as moving day draws closer, please keep me in your thoughts to help me get over this emotional hump. Thanks to you all!

Max   September 26, 2022 at 9:22 pm Reply

Not a lot of guys posting here, but whatever. I’m going through a very similar situation. My Grandma passed away a couple of months ago and my parents are selling her house now. I was very close with my Grandparents and it feels like the house is an extension of them. I was probably closer with them than my own parents. They were really a safe space for me. I’m just so sad. I can picture my Grandma now on her back porch swinging and humming. It feels like I still haven’t had closure from her passing and now her house will be gone too. I wish I could buy it. My parents and my mom’s brother don’t need the money. They’re not as sentimental. They’re so many good memories from that place.

Scared to leave   September 17, 2022 at 11:57 am Reply

I wish I had found this sooner. For the second time I have been offered decent money for the sale of my house. And then I freeze and get so romantic about this small piece of property and house. That I change my mind and don’t sell. But I know my time here is up I can’t maintain this house it’s served it’s purpose to raise my children. I only have a temporary rental to go to and then who knows?

But what I’m hearing is it is just grief and grief can be big but it’s still just grief. If this house is too much to handle too much to maintain at my age why can’t I just let it go to a family who really wanted it who would raise a child here as I raised mine. Spiritually I feel that I am holding onto some thing that is actually harming me and preventing someone else from the joys they could have.

Open to any suggestions.

Angela   August 12, 2022 at 1:20 pm Reply

I don’t usually post either but my ex father in law passed away. I am divorced but remained close with the family. His mountain cabin was inherited by my ex husband, his brother and my ex mother in law. I’m 43 and have visited the cabin since I was 16. They are now selling it. I visited and balked my eyes out. I never imagined I would this much emotion and sadness over the sale. My father in law worked very hard on the cabin and his memories are everywhere. So sad and just can’t shake it.😔

Melissa   June 22, 2022 at 4:37 pm Reply

I’ve never commented on a stranger’s blog before, but after googling “grief for my family home” I found this post. It’s beautiful, and helpful. I’m 56 with a house and lovely family of my own, but when my 80-something parents decided last week that it was time to sell, I froze. I’m still in shock and sadness. I’m considering extreme measures like divorcing my husband to move into my old home, to a second mortgage so I can purchase the home for myself…so talk about extreme reactions! This post is helpful and beautiful and I look forward to following the comments.

Litsa   June 27, 2022 at 7:20 am Reply

I am so sorry you’re facing this tough decision and that the post was some comfort. It is SUCH a hard decision. Some time has now passed since I wrote this and I still have many mixed feelings, but there has been some comfort in knowing that a new family with children is now living there, making their own memories and making the house their own. It has a bit of a circle of life feeling! That said, I do sometimes drive by just to see the house and, though I find comfort seeing it looking lived-in, I also tear up sometimes. But that is the nature of so many moments in life – bittersweet! We have some other articles about photographing a home as a way to say goodbye (search “Dear Photograph”) and it can really help. Writing a letter to the new owners to give them at settlement can also be nice, sharing the history.

Angela   August 12, 2022 at 1:27 pm Reply

I’m so sorry and I know how you feel. I have exhausted all of my options to buy my deceased father in laws cabin. I can’t pay 2 house payments. I’m single and they family has already listed it. The memories of family vacations there. It is just so sad. To me, the cabin is not worth any amount of money because of sentimental aspects of it. I never thought I would feel this sad but it is so hard to deal with thinking we will never be able to go back again. My father in laws work will be owned by someone we don’t even know.😞

Maggie   August 29, 2022 at 3:46 pm Reply

It was comforting to hear from others who are going through grief because of selling a parents home and having to clear their life’s possessions. My father in law died 6 years ago and my mother in law 6 months ago. I have been coming to N. Ireland since I met my husband over 40 years ago . We have had such a lot of love over the years , also disagreements as most family’s do, but no love lost. Tomorrow is our last day in the house and I am sitting in the lounge and looking at a view and I’ll never do that again . I don’t know if we’ll ever be back again and it’s heartbreaking.

Kristina   April 21, 2022 at 12:13 pm Reply

I have two stories of house grief. I said good bye to my home of 23 years and it was much harder than I thought. I had a deep connection to the land and the people. I put in the plants and had so many beautiful memories of peace, love, beauty and my pets. That home represented security, peace, privacy and home for me. But the house was always too small and I knew I had to have a new experience. I had to totally grieve the saying good bye to that house. I took lots of pictures and felt my feelings. I felt it was one of the hardest things I ever did. I can say now I am glad I moved up to a new bigger home and am OK but it was so painful during the process. I really learned about grief in that the only way is thru it. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Now I am grieving my family home. It was my job to get the home ready for sale and I had to go thru all of the momentos and memorabilia. Wow what a walk thru time. I was reminded that I was part of a family then and so loved! So many wonderful letters to and from my sisters and my mother. I felt really sad going thru them knowing I don’t really have that anymore but I felt gratitude that I did have that at one time. I found a picture and love letter from my first real boyfriend. He was so loving and really loved me. I realized I never thanked him for being the loving boyfriend that he was so I wrote a note to him, on his birthday no less! I thanked him for being such a wonderful boyfriend and feel sad I never thanked him prior. I found another picture of another boyfriend I had. This one was harder because it was more recent and I still felt attracted to him and miss what we had. It was painful. I wish it worked out. I wish I took the plunge. That was painful to feel again. So much to work out still. I pray this grief I will work thru.

I am so glad the retrieving of memorabilia is over for the most part and in days I will hand over the keys. It has to be we cannot, and should not, keep the home. It should be occupied by a new family and that family filling it with love. They agreed to take pictures of it when totally empty and give to us as memories.

Kimberly Triemert   March 28, 2022 at 10:36 pm Reply

I am so glad you have found this site.My mom and dad are both gone, I have a sister but she abandoned me 9 years ago. I can’t stop thinking of our house that I grew up in. It’s killing me. I know how ya all feel especially wanting to buy the house. Thanks for being hear for me.

Sandra   March 22, 2022 at 2:06 am Reply

I’m going through the same thing as everyone else on this thread, my mom passed 6 years ago, and her husband passed this September, so now we are getting rid of things in her home, and putting it up for sale, it’s been a mountain of emotions, it’s hard to be there going through her things and difficult to see her townhome going to be put up for sale. Lots of good memories and sad memories. Her urn is sitting on the shelf waiting to be put to rest to, that is heartbreaking to see. I’m not comfortable to bring it home, it just reminds me of her dying of cancer and just not a pleasant feeling at all. Us siblings will be making a decision later on what we’re going to do, and her husbands son has his dads ashes, and I asked if we can put some of moms with his and visa versa, because he’s taking his dads ashes, back to his child hood province to his favourite place. He agreed. We are not sure where to put moms, she never mentioned what to do with her remains. Anyways I’m struggling with moms home being gone to someone else, it feels like she died all over again. The grief has somewhat resurfaced again. I did keep some of her things, but didn’t find that one thing that gave me that fulfilling feeling, not sure if that’s the right word, or maybe the word is comfort. Yes that’s the word. So I’m going to go back and look again even though it’s hard, I need something I can cuddle into, when I’m missing her.

AE   March 14, 2022 at 12:58 am Reply

We just recently lost my grandfather. My grandmother passed away just a few months before he had. They had lived in that house since the eighties. I grew up spending much of my time in that house. Every holiday was spent there. Every summer I was there for weeks on end. I love my grandparents and I love their house. I always told them that me and my wife want to buy it if they ever decided to sell. After their death and with the housing market being so inflated we can not afford to buy it. My uncle is forcing a sale of it only two months after my grandfather passed. They were packing up the house and removing the belongings from the house the day after the funeral. I never got to see the house as I remembered it. I don’t know how I can ever process this grief. I’ve been forced to deal with the loss of my grandmother, then my grandfather, and now with no time to grieve or cope I’ve got to deal with the loss of the home of so many fond memories. I remember waking up and eating cereal and grapefruit in the kitchen with my grandmother. Picking up pinecones in the yard with her. Helping my grandfather pick vegetables in the garden or from the fruit trees. Taking nature walks. Watching cars go by. Sledding down the hills. My wife and I got married in that house. My grandmother passed in that house and that’s where we all spent her last days together as a family. That was the last time we were a whole family. Since then a wedge has been driven between the family in the handling of the estate. I have no clue how to cope with this. That house is so much more than a simple structure. That house was once filled with love, sadness, laughter, hugs, kisses, jokes, wonderful food and kind people. I just want to rewind the clock. I want to be rich and have the money to just outright buy the house. I just want so many things that I’ll never get and I will never get the closure I need either. The house was listed for sale on Friday. They are going over offers on Monday. Two months since my grandfather passed to the day it was listed, and three days later it will be sold. I am devastated.

Mlleslie   March 20, 2022 at 7:42 pm Reply

Your post mirrors my own situation. For me, the loss is the timing; a year ago I could have bought out my siblings to buy my parents home. But once house prices went up it almost tripled in value in just months. Not seeing that coming pretty much destroyed me as the money means more to my siblings than having a second house, which is just how it goes. I’m crushed and the hardest part is not just losing it, but the glee at getting extra money is super hard for me to handle emotionally and I’m struggling. For them, it pays off their childrens college debt, and they still own primary homes. I’ve stayed in an apartment waiting to retire and stupidly didn’t see this all coming. It sucks. It’s funny how some people have zero desire to hold onto to a family property and others treasure it. Neither is right or wrong, but the two seldom see the others point of view.

Sandra   January 29, 2022 at 11:06 pm Reply

I think I started this thread and I’m glad I did, we’re in the middle of getting my moms estate in order and we will be selling her home it’s been heart wrenching, even though when I go there to check on things it’s very hard because she isn’t there. I brought a few things of moms home and I can’t look at them it just brings all the grief back, it very painful. It feels like losing a part of mom, selling her home. We’re all grieving, and grieving more losses than we thought, the home with precious memories, are loved ones, the scenery outside of the home, the smells, the life that was once there, the Christmas’s, the places where are loved ones once sat, mom greeting me at the door, the hugs, the talks we had at the dinning room table, the laughter that once echoed in the living room, the smells of mom cooking dinner, the neighbours that once lived across from her, I could go on and on, it’s a very hard experience going through the loss of moms home.

dave   January 28, 2022 at 1:53 am Reply

I am so grateful to have found this site and post. I could type forever, but I won’t. I’m 43. I’ve lived in a few houses ….grew up in one until I was 20. Then 2 different houses until I was 31 (and they became ‘home’ but they weren’t hard to leave). We’ve been in our current home just over 11 years. It’s our dream house. Brought 3 babies home here (kid #1 was born while we were at the other house), taught my kids to swim, to talk, to ride bikes. My 101 year old grandma made a trip here 6 years ago and she stayed in our house. So many wonderful family memories. It’s truly been ‘home’. The perfect ‘’home”. Almost. We desire more land and space. An opportunity has presented itself to get that, but it means leaving our ‘home’. I’ve been slightly depressed and in deep thought at night about this. Is this the right decision? Am I doing the right thing? I am loosing a very incredible pool I had put in….so many memories. My dream was a pool. I finally got it. And now? I’m giving it up? Seriously? Yes, seriously. Despite my sadness…my grief….my wife and I think this is best for our 4 kids (3, 6, 8 and 12) for the long run and they still have plenty of time to make a new home. It’s an older home. Cozy. Well loved. I may be downgrading home amenities and style slightly, in exchange for much more land, better schools and a better area. It truly is best for the long run of my family, but dammit, I am sad. And I will continue to be. I am glad I am not the only one. I haven’t had much grief in my life. I realized that is what I am feeling and I knew that it wasn’t a unique…certainly other people have felt the way I felt, “feeling a sense of loss when leaving a home”. That’s what I googled to find this. Thanks for listening.

Andrea   August 18, 2022 at 9:12 am Reply

Dave, I needed to hear what you said. We sold our house in 48 hours in March after living there 32 years and raising three sons. It happened so fast. We also had a pool that brought me peace and tranquility. We are now building on some land a few hours away and that should bring me complete peace and happiness However I am crying a lot and it’s hard to process these feelings. My therapist is helping me and I will get through this. But sometimes I wonder, why did I agree to sell this house? Yes we will start new memories but I am still filled with sadness leaving our safe place

Erika Andrews   November 29, 2021 at 6:06 pm Reply

My mom passed just over a year ago. She was 86, but it was a massive shock to all of us because she was the picture of perfect health. She lived in the same house that her and my dad (deceased) bought in 1963. Where my brother and I were raised, our childhood home. Long story short: We decided (now I see way too soon) to sell the house as I did not want the responsibility of it, and my brother could not afford to buy me out, and neither of us wanted to rent it out. I have been ok with the decision, but my brother has regretted it and is always talking about it , which has now made me sad and regretful that it is gone. I don’t know how to process these new feelings? I know we can’t change anything, but the grief is getting heavier and heavier and I want to go back in time and not push the sale as fast… ☹️☹️🙁🙁😢😢

AE   March 14, 2022 at 1:04 am Reply

I hope it gets easier for you. We’re experiencing something very similar. My grandfather passed in January. My uncle has been walking al over the family as he is the executor. He listed my grandparents house two months to the day after he passed. He is reviewing offers only three days after having listed it. I’ve expressed a great desire to buy the house and so has my mom but he wants to sell it as soon as possible. For either of us to be able to buy it we would have to sell our own houses and get finances in order which could take a little while. He refused to give us time to do so. He said if we want to buy it we need to do it quick. I feel as though his grieving process is “out of sight out of mind” so once the house is gone, so is the grief. But he is forcing his grief and coping mechanisms on all of us who do not grieve and cope the same way. It’s incredibly upsetting and has made our once very close family very resentful of each other now. It makes the grief that much harder.

Lynnda   April 17, 2023 at 9:59 am

We are selling my parents home and it make me very sad. My mom died seven years ago and my dad six months ago. I never thought this would be so hard, selling my childhood home. I knew my siblings and I would have to eventually sell the home we all grew up in, but I am grieving my parents and now the home that will be sold. Our happy home with so many memories, it just makes me so sad. I didn’t know this would have such an impact on me. I get angry, I cry, I get so upset when I’m there. I don’t think my siblings feel the same way I do, about the loss of our home. This site is really helping me, because I wasn’t sure what I am experiencing is normal. Thanks everyone for also sharing your stories.

Lisa B.   November 26, 2021 at 10:30 am Reply

My family bought a house in 1987 when I was 16 and I ended up living in it until age 47 in 2018, the year my mother passed. I won’t get into all the details of a rift with a family member that pushed me out aroubd that same time, but he is the owner of the house and finally reached out to mend fences. I hesitantly went there yesterday for the first time in three and a half years, on Thanksgiving Day, and it was difficult. It was the first time I had stepped foot in the house since my mother had been gone and it felt surreal. It also felt like so much happiness and spirit were missing. This was the house everyone would meet at for holidays (often 20 or so people), and now there were just four of us on what would normally be another fun and fulfilling holiday, looking around talking about old times. I felt a bit of sadness when I walked into my old empty bedroom but even more so when I walked into my mother’s. I know it sounds strange but I found myself feeling sorry for the house, especially my mother’s bedroom. This house that was once a lively place is now half-empty and virtually unvisited, since my brother is distant from much of the family. It just felt lonely, as if it missed my mother, everyone who would regularly visit and all the activity it saw. It also really hit me that my mother played a huge part in making that house feel like a home. I suddenly understood the phrase “you can’t go home again”. Hard to explain the emotions I was feeling. When I go back to that lively house I once knew and see my mother sitting in her usual spot in the kitchen but I know it isn’t to be anymore. I left there feeling so many emotions this Thanksgiving Day and I am still trying to process them. Blessings to you all who have a sentimental and/or spiritual connection to a house. We know they are not just things, not just inanimate objects, but something much, much greater that is hard to quantify, hard to even understand sometimes.

Sue   November 5, 2021 at 8:50 pm Reply

I googled grieving your childhood home and this site came up. I’m glad I found all of you! It’s good to know that others feel the same way. Our lawyer emailed me yesterday that the buyers want to close on my parent’s home as soon as possible. My heart stopped for a minute. I knew it was coming, but now it is real. My husband and I have been driving over an hour every weekend this past year to sort and empty. It’s been physically exhausting and very emotional. Yet I am so thankful that we did it. One last gift to my parents. I found letters that Dad wrote to Mom when he was in Germany in WWII. I found sweet notes from Mom to me. There were sentimental treasures all around. My brother who lives across the country said to just take what we want and then get a dumpster. He hasn’t done a single thing to help and wants it over with. He doesn’t understand, and has no clue as to the huge job it all was. Our parents bought our home 57 years ago. There is so much love and happiness within its walls. My Granny and MeMa were there. Holiday meals with family visiting from out of state. Fires in the fireplace. Sitting out on our big wrap-around porch. Dad making Maypo for breakfast on cold winter mornings so Mom could sleep a little later. Decorating for Christmas. Wrapping presents at the kitchen table. Oh! The kitchen – where Mom made her fantastic potato salad and so many yummy meals. I brought my sweet husband there where he asked them if he could marry me. (43 years ago!) We brought our two precious adopted son and daughter there for Mom to adore. Daddy had gone to heaven just before our son came home to us. So, so many memories! Two weeks ago I had a professional piano mover bring my piano from there to my home. We stayed over the night before. My last night there. I played my piano for four hours. I had thought that I would cry through every song, but instead, I was actually happy. I felt like I was sharing the music and happy memories of singing with Mom and Dad with the house one last time. Now those songs can live on within its walls. So we’re going back tomorrow and it may be for the last time. I’ve been weepy all day. I’ve taken a lot of pictures and plan to take more. I’ve touched the walls and looked out the windows. I’ve thanked the house for protecting us and for allowing us to share our love within it. At times, I feel like I’m losing Mom and Dad all over again, but I’m not. They will always be with me, in my heart, wherever I go. I know I‘ll cry many more times, but I’m hoping that the love and happiness will outweigh the loss. For each one of you who is also sad, and for myself, may our good memories of our beloved homes cause us to smile through our tears.

Geoff   September 27, 2021 at 12:49 pm Reply

After 34 years my dad is selling our family Home. I could not afford it and do not wish to live there in the suburbs. we lost my mom 6 years ago to cancer it’s too big for just him but it hurts really bad. So many good memories some bad ones too. I haven’t lived there for about 5 years now but It just is really sinking in that my moms gone and now my childhood is gone aswell.

Janet Lynn Barry   August 18, 2021 at 11:04 am Reply

My son was randomly murdered 2 years ago in my small city. He was 40 years old. I only lived here for 4 years and loved my home. I moved here for my son and work. My city lost its shine after that event. I am uncomfortable meeting acquaintances (they usually find it more awkward than I do – which makes it even more uncomfortable for me) As well passing the place of his death which is a main downtown corner prevents us from enjoying the heart of the city. These reminders trigger grief, not trauma as they once did. So…. I am torn between leaving my comfortable home and forging a new start – I’m in my 60’s so there are lots of changes happening like retirement as well. My husband is desperate to go. After 2 years I think we have waited long enough and realize that these physical places and the associated notoriety are here to stay. We always wanted to retire on the ocean and now seems like a good time. But, who knows for sure if I’m running from grief or if grief is guiding me. Complicated.

Tuula   August 3, 2021 at 8:21 am Reply

I’m 17 and have lived in one house my entire life. My parents bought it 2 years before I was born. They divorced a few years ago, and my dads lawyers are forcing my mom to sell the house now (at the time they allowed us to keep it for 4 years). Unless she can pay him off the amount equal to half the worth. I sometimes am just so overwhelmed with grief for another loss and massive change that is not in our control. Literally every memory I have of a house or family time has been here. I dont think my parents realize just how hard this is because they moved 5+ times by the time they were 18. I sometimes just lay in bed and cry over the soon to come loss. I know the people who buy the home will not let it stand. Every house that gets bought in my neighborhood gets torn down and built into a multi million dollar mansion. Itll also be a huge difference going from a house to a 2 bedroom condo or apartment. Because we cannot afford anything else. Not unless we move in with my moms bf but they arent ready for that.

Paula   August 1, 2021 at 5:16 am Reply

I have just stumbled across this article and it’s so helpful to see that other people are feeling/ have felt the same emotions that I am right now. My parents always lived in the one house since they married so I’ve only known one family home (unlike my partner who moved houses a lot in his youth). I’m 55 now and my father died in 2011 and my mother is at the age of 83 beginning to slow down and struggle. There are days when I get all maudlin and sad and I think of how I am going to deal with selling their home at whatever time in the future. I don’t know that I can. All those memories; my parents, my childhood, my daughters’ childhoods ( we live in the same village as my parents so my children have had very close relationships with their grandparents and were at my parents ‘ house almost daily when they were little.)

I just can’t bear the thought of selling it but I don’t think my partner would want to move there from our house nor do I think either of my children would want it.

When my Nan died my cousin bought her house so that house stayed in the family and when I walk past my Nan’s house it’s nice to know my cousin and her family are in there. I cannot bear the thought of strangers in my parents’ house.

Myalgic1   June 4, 2021 at 5:30 am Reply

Im a reluctant migrant, living in Australia. Due to the laws that were passed in the Hague Convention, I was not allowed, without the permission of my violent and controlling ex husband, to take my child out of Australia, permission he would not give. Ive been here since 1989 and during that time, I’ve lost my beautiful step mother , my father, my grandmother and my grandfather. I only saw my father, briefly, before he died. He left me the family home, the only place I truly feel happy, but now due to covid and, ‘green’, legislation, I can no longer rent it out and I can’t afford to upgrade it to the government’s new requirements. The only thing that has kept me going, was the strongest hope and wishes thst once my child was an adult, was to be able to move back to my family home and finally be happy. Now, all my dreams and all my hope have been cruelly dashed, and I have no choice but to sell. The house isn’t a house – it’s my anchor. It’s the only place I feel content and safe. And soon, it will be gone. Due to covid and due to Australian leadership unable to manage the pandemic, I can’t even get home to say goodbye before it’s sold. I feel such deep grief, resentment and anger at the actions of others that have caused this to happen. I really don’t think I will ever get over the loss. I don’t feel like I will ever be happy again. It is the one place on this God forsaken planet where I can feel my parents and loved ones. The only place. Is the depth of my feeling strange? Am I crazy?

Lorraine Campbell   April 18, 2021 at 8:50 pm Reply

I am so grateful I found this site. My husband Paul got our land in 1988 he got a little trailer and lived in it by himself till 1990. We met. Three years later we got married. We had a home built in NC and sent to us in NJ in 1994. Three children and three grandbabies. Many many memories. In 2014 I lost Paul. His passing was and still is extremely tough. Well NOW on my own… Kid’s live out of state I was lost. Tried so hard to keep up with everything was doing ok. But then my well went sand in my whole water system. 6000 bucks and I couldn’t pay for everything for I’m on disability for PTSD and a fixed income. Couldn’t pay everything and one bill (property taxes) I got only 1800 behind and it went up for sheriff’s sale. Someone paid them and I lost it all. August of last year I had to leave. I was devastated. Moved to NC and lived in a tent for 7 months. In January 19. I moved to Florida. I do have a place but it’s high rent and barely making it. But as I sit in here I cry ALL the time and feel so depressed for losing my home. I continue to say sorry to Paul for losing his land. I’m going crazy not being in that home. Not being able to hang all the Christmas stockings on the mantle. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve cried all day today. Thank you for listening

Kimberly   April 9, 2021 at 4:14 am Reply

I am getting ready to sell my home of 21 years, not by choice. I brought home 3 babies here and it’s the last place we saw my childs father alive before he passed away 5 yrs ago. It was my first home after I left my parents. It’s also the last place I visited my best friend who came to see my last born child before she moved and was killed. I’m honestly not sure if it’s the home or the loss of my bestfriend and my childs father and the home being my last connection to them that’s bothering me more. I’m sure knowing that I’m going to be moving in with my mother who needs me due to recent health issues is also troubling me. Dont get me wrong, helping her isn’t so much the problem as how she will treat me more like a kid in her home rather then a equal adult. I feel like part of me is losing my independence and my past life all in one. Anyways thanks to covid I have no choice to move now because I’m financially unstable right now and selling is my only chance. I just need to figure out how to get past the grief I feel and the anxiety. Thanks for reading this.

Jessica   March 21, 2021 at 3:35 pm Reply

I am so glad I found this site. I sold My Home of 20 years 8 months ago and the sadness and daily grief has been harder than I ever expected. I raised my 2 kids there. We remodeled the kitchen just a few years ago. It was so beautiful. My kids loved it had their friends over all the time. Our home was 2800sqft, always filled with Friends, love, Everyone was so happy. It was near everything. I could get to Costco, Grocery store, Gas..Anything within 3minutes. Every single room had some touch of ours in it. I felt such love and purpose living there. I planted every tree, All the flowers, Painted every room and spent so much time playing with the neighborhood kids in the backyard watching my kids grow up. I knew all my neighbors who were my friends. My kids now 17 & 19 still live with us (COVID kept my oldest from going to college) My Father offered to sell us his 4unit that we’d been taking caring of for him for 5 years. The place needs some TLC and we agreed on a price In June 2020 we sold our home and moved into 1 of 1200sq ft units. We looked at the money aspect of Being able to pay off All our debt as I had medical bills from a Cancer Dx several years earlier and lost HealthIns. We didn’t think at all how moving to a new town, Going To Apartment living and A place 1/4 the size of our home with No Storage, Being 25 min away from Grocery stores, Kids away from friends..ALL the other things that meant so much to us would have such a deep affect On All of us mentally and physically. I’m mom, I’m suppose to uplift everyone and I’m so sad. Most days I can’t get out of bed. To top it off we don’t even own it yet so we can’t do any remodeling yet, Because even though We sold our home 8 months ago, But My dad Still hasn’t sold the 4 unit to me. He owns the property with No Mortgage and keeps telling me he’s talking to lawyers on what to do with the $$ from the sale so he doesn’t get it all taxed. We have gotten 3 different Mortgages for him that have expired, the market also went crazy and he realizes he’s losing some money. My Husband and I have been taking care of this place for 5 years for him for free as he’s 72 now. Now I’m paying rent Till he figures out what to do. What a mess, So many regrets I wanna puke. In the meantime I’ve realized Money isn’t everything, Happiness is. I was So very Happy At my Home, I wish I’d never of left, it meant everything to me and my kids. Please Anyone reading this, If you have doubts of moving. DONT. Cuz you can’t go back. It’s done and I’ve fallen into a depression like I never have, not even when I had Cancer. I just wanna go Home..Thanks for listening. Good luck to you All

Aylin Lopez   July 11, 2021 at 3:10 am Reply

I’m so scared. I’m 14 years old and I’m going to be moving from the only house I’ve ever known. Me and my family are going to be moving to another neighborhood about 15 minutes away in a week. I put up a front for my parents, knowing they would feel guilty. I’ve been crying every night over the thought of someone else calling my home theirs, and how I will never be able to see it again. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine watching another family walk into my house, I can’t imagine someone else calling my home theirs. I sob thinking about it. am I being too dramatic? I feel like I’m going to lose all my memories here. I just wish this feeling would go away.

Hope   December 26, 2020 at 7:09 pm Reply

Dear all, I am so grateful for this feed for sharing grief. I am feeling extreme grief right now for the home my husband and I raised our sons in. We are due to leave in two weeks. We decided to sell because the neighborhood is not the same as it use to be; new neighbors are not kind, stay to their own, and loud trucks and traffic have made it difficult to enjoy living here anymore. Our oldest son and his wife made it clear they did not want children, and our youngest son did not care that we sold. Yesterday, for Christmas, our oldest told us they were expecting. My heart was so happy and sad at the same time. Ecstatic for our first grandchild and terribly sad because we will not be close to the expectant parents for frequent visits, teaching our grandchild to ride a bike in front of the house, how to swim in the pool, set up their bedroom for overnight stays in their dad’s old room, etc. I can’t stop crying and wish we had never made the decision to sell. We are moving to the country where it is quiet and much more peaceful, and have wonderful neighbors, including my brother. Although I know we are so blessed, my heart just can’t stop hurting for selling now that we have a grandchild on the way. How can I get past this grief? I want to be able to move on and be happy with what we cannot change. Does anyone have any advice and wisdom to share? My husband and I have looked forward to downsizing, moving to the country and building a small farmhouse, but I am feeling a terrible loss and don’ t know how to get past it. Thank you for all comments and advice.

IsabelleS   December 28, 2020 at 1:40 pm Reply

Hope, thank you for taking the time to comment and to share your story. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through this. I hope this article has shown you how normal and valid it is to grieve the loss of a home. You may never “get past” this, but you will find a way to move forward. I recommend you check out this article: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-recovery-is-not-a-thing/ All the best to you and your husband.

Marlynn   September 9, 2020 at 7:26 am Reply

Reading this article and comments are helpful. Just sold my family home of 55 years. My parents moved us in when I was 18 months old and I moved in eith my brother when my daughter was 18 months old and stayed until she was 9 so we are borh losing the place of our childhood. I was there for 50 Christmas mornings. It was the one constant throughout my life as my Daddy told me you can always cone home. Mom passed on 2001 and Daddy in 2006. My brother was my Dad’s caregiver and stayed in the house after Daddy passed. My brother got sick this spring and I moved him to FL with me for summer planning to havenhim return this fall. House is in bad shape needing costly repairs, more than I can afford since I just built a home and closed in February. Then my brother got worse and Dr. said he shouldn’t live alone. From MemorIal day through Labor dsy I have been sorting and cleaning 55 years of things and it has been so hard. Down to last room and the last day and I am so tired. I was blessed to have this place, my place, my daughter’s place for do long. My comfort, security, my family home. As I realize that none of the people I shared this place with can ever walk through those doors again, I grieve my parents again, my gone childhood, my security and thank God that the money I received can be ised as a college fund for my daughter. I’m preparing for my last day with the house And years are flowing as I write this, but I am encouraged by the stories others have shared here. Thank you for proving a forum to share this real grief.

Jane   August 27, 2020 at 8:21 pm Reply

Our childhood home is due to be sold in 2 weeks when everything is finalised and it’s breaking my heart. My Dad died 2 years ago and my mum has moved into assisted living accommodation so the house is to be sold to pay for my mums care. I was born in the house just over 50 years ago and its filled with fun memories, love and security. I didn’t think I’d feel so bad but I cant stop crying. I’ve sobbed reading everyone’s stories on here. My little safe haven is going and I’m left in this big bad world! I also feel quite stupid for getting so upset over a house!!! It will get better….won’t it??

Darline   August 24, 2020 at 3:51 pm Reply

Hello, I live in the home that I was born and raised in, it was my grandparents home, it was the house on the block, (washington, DC). this house has be in my family for 65 years, our house was a safe haven for many friends in our neighborhood. For the past 7 yrs, I have been the caregiver for my aunt whom the house past down to after my grandparent passawy she pass in Jan. 2020. Now the house has pass down to me, I live in it, I love this house becuase its a part of me. However I am loney and afraid to stay in it by myself, it is way to big for one person. I want to sale but I am afraid of never be able to come back to see it again. I am 60 with no childrens and I was the caregiver for all the elders in my family, now I want to move on an enjoy the rest of my life while I can but I am so confuse about keeping the house of letting it go, I feel so guilty and depressed.

Karina Brampton   June 9, 2020 at 10:03 pm Reply

Hello, I read the first story comment about someone’s grandmothers’ home. Some of the suggestions given here, I did, when in 2018, with the sale of my late mother’s home, and under very emotional and traumatic circumstances, I finally had to move. In the days and months prior to the sale and post the sale (2019), I spoke to the rooms of that little three bedroom fibro cottage, and told those rooms to be “brave” as I knew that the new owner wouldn’t be caring or loving or considerate as he was a developer. I caressed the cracks in the fibro walls, and considered every weathered area of the house, as it stood on a corner block all 765 square metres of it, including the land. I still am working through the grief and sadness of losing the house, and of losing a great deal of money from the sale of the house. For so long, I had wanted to be the mistress of my own home, but now, I rent a one bedroom unit in a retirement village, where I don’t own anything, just my own chattels etc. It does help though, to know there are many people who have experienced the sadness and loss and grief about leaving their home, where they have lived for a long time, where the familiar sounds of the day and the night cannot really be replicated in another house, but would have its own sounds and idiosyncrasies, My late mother’s home must have been built in the late 1950’s and we came there in 1961. That is a very long time to live in such a house. My mum had given me permission to live there as long as I wanted to. Other forces had other ideas.

Rebecca   May 20, 2020 at 12:49 am Reply

I lost my husband 5 years ago and have been living with my parents. I am trying to clean out my house of all the stuff my husband left in an unknown storage unit. The house has has had plumbing problems since we moved in with two major water leaks. I have finally decided that I should probably move and build a new house with no problems. This decision is tearing me up. The thought of never being able to walk in the house we shared for 17 years is heartbreaking. I know I should be excited at getting to design my own house . This wouldn’t happen for at least a year or two and I need to do things while my parents are still in good health so they can help me but this just hurts. I hate that I can’t stay there. The maintenance is more than I can handle by myself.

Darlene Fos   May 9, 2020 at 12:33 am Reply

I am so happy/relieved to have found this site. I am about to sell a home that has been a rental for the last 8 years. I lived in it first with my ex-husband. After we divorced, he left me to pay for everything and I did. I worked hard and sacrificed to get things paid on time. During this time (7 years), I found a very peaceful time. Just me and my two furry kids (dogs). I did so many upgrades myself. Got so handy I have quite the collection of tools. I did a lot of finding myself and growing up/healing. We are getting it ready to sell and I couldn’t shake this feeling. Something wasn’t right. This anxiety kind of depression feeling started to nap me.. A tightening in my stomach would begin when on the way there to fix it up.. Finally, I just popped and found myself weeping and I realized it was grief. Just all of a sudden I just started weeping and just let the tears from flow down my face onto my chest. I had some difficult times in this house but also lots of peace/happiness. Such freedom and peace. I had NO idea I would experience this but now see it is normal and real. it’s almost like I’m leaving someone. How weird is that. I’m glad I am feeling this so I can at least deal with it and get past it. Thank you for everyone who shared.

Emma   May 8, 2020 at 3:37 am Reply

My grandmother passed the spring of my senior year of high school. That was just about 2 years ago now. She had moved to an assisted living facility but we had rented her house to help pay for her care. My family has had complications due to arguments over the family trust, but my mother is the one who is in charge of administering it. My aunt (who was the daughter in law), was made to inherit half of my grandmother’s trust and estate because my uncle took my grandmother in to sign paperwork while she wasn’t competent enough to do so. Her house meant the world to me, and I was hoping to maybe someday move in. The time has come where my aunt will not accept my parent’s offer to buy her share of the house, and we are about to put it on the market. I am devastated. It would be one thing to let the house go because we were unable to use it or cherish it, but for the reason of giving the house up to pay my aunt has hurt me immensely. I don’t know what I will do without knowing it is always there for me. I am thinking of going to take something to remember it by, but at this point after having renters there is not much left. I have a lamp that I always loved as a little girl and her piano, but it doesn’t feel right having these things without them being in their proper place.

Leif Harmsen   March 20, 2020 at 12:42 pm Reply

I am just bawling. I sounds like a coyote howling. My parents are in a retirement home now, finally, but I am selling the farm (because I have a new house in other city with my husband that we’re renovating) . But I grew up here and did so much work here and it has always been the one place that is always our home. Everything every rock, every baseboard, evey corner in every barn, the crows, they’re all calling out to me begging me not to go. I feel so guilty. This house has been so good to me throughout all time. At one point it was my whole world, the known universe. My brain says sell. My heart is screaming for me not to. It hurts so much to keep this appointment. It feels so wrong. I just signed with selling agent today.

Max   December 24, 2020 at 7:58 am Reply

It’s possible I am the first man to post here. Not that should matter. I am grieving the loss of a home that I only lived in for 5 years. Even as I write, I feel the ridiculousness of this taking many of the other posts here into account. This was not my childhood home. But it was a beautiful home that I provided for my wife, my two little daughters, my mother in law, and my aunt. It was a Cape, with a pretty red roof, a nice multi-windowed home, a lovely family room with large windows, and a sliding glass door that opened to a garden. It was built in the 50s, custom built, with only the original owner to the title when we bought it in 2014. It’s been a couple of years since we had to move out, a result of losing my job. I have moments during which a memory of a room, or looking out a window, or even having to unclog the upstairs bath sink for the umpteenth time, bring me close to tears. I don’t get it, this sadness. My mom passed away many years ago. There was grief then. This here was a house, that compared to what others have shared here, I hardly ever lived in. Yet, each memory hits me in the pit of my stomach. Maybe it’s because we live in a tiny cramped 70’s ranch now. And my girls have to settle for less. I don’t know, it just really hurts. I wish I had tried harder to keep the home. That’s what it was, even though we lived a short time there, it was our home. I am 48, have a wonderful wife, and wonderful girls I adore immensely. So perhaps, cut my loss, and it’s time to move on.

Sandra   December 11, 2021 at 12:40 am

You are perfectly normal feeling this, it’s grief, you can grieve anything. I am going through the same thing we are going to be selling my moms home in the new year and it’s killing me, all the memories, all the rooms, I can picture at the front door, greeting us when we would visit, it’s very hard to let go. You are perfectly normal and cry if you have to also normal.

julie   February 14, 2020 at 3:17 am Reply

I ran across this article and my heart almost stopped.I feel some consolation that there are others that are just as devastated as I am over losing a childhood home. Maybe I am not going crazy. I lost my dad January 2019. My mom passed away almost 20 years prior. I have a brother and sister who live out of town. My dad was diagnosed with Parkinsons disease only two years prior to his passing. I was the one sibling in town to take care of him.. My brother and sister thought I was overmedicating my dad and accused me of changing his will. I was the trustee of the estate. Nothing was changed. My brother and sister stoped all communication with me and on recommendations from the lawyer how had to step in and help settle the estate- when it came time to divide my dads estate three ways, he recommended I turn the house over to my brother and sister . For 20 years after my mom passed, I would stop by his house after work and discuss our day, I would help in the yard, we would sit on the roof and watch fireworks. He had been in that house for over 50 years. It was the house I grew up in. I was not allowed on the property when my brother and sister took possession of the home. Any of my possessions that remained in theme had to stay there , that was the agreement the lawyer had set up. They placed it on the market and sold it for a lot more that it was appraised for. I drove by it one day and a big dumpster was in the driveway and I could see that the inside was being gutted. I can no longer go by the house. I am devastated. I lost my dad, my brother and sister no longer communicate and the home I have known all my life is gone. Sometimes there are days when I do not know how to go on. I have my family, my husband and children but I am so mad at myself for not preparing for the future and save so I could have pruchached the home from my siblings. My husband says he would not have wanted to live in a home where my parents passed away, but it could have been a great home to remodel. I feel a little consolation that there are others out there that have the same despair over losing a family home. I keep thinking that there has to be some way I can get it back, or purchase it in the future. I wish there was some way I could stop thinking about it. I don’t think the pain of losing the house will ever go away. It always brings tears just thinking about it. Thank you for having a wonderful article. I really think that these feelings are something that are more prevalent in our society and are rarely discussed. My only hope is that time will lessen the sadness I have over losing my childhood home.

Amy   January 8, 2020 at 5:54 am Reply

This spoke to me directly. I live in London, and I lost my grandmother in October. Exactly one month later her house burned down in the Australian bush fires. I have been preparing for her death since for what feels like my whole life so I have been handling that relatively well, but to have lost our home so suddenly and completely has rattled me. Just knowing it no longer exists along with her hurts. While I’m so grateful she didn’t see her home of over 70 years destroyed I feel like it was part of her, but a part that I would have at least in my mind. My thoughts of it are interrupted with the realisation it is all now ash.

Nanci Harvey   June 21, 2019 at 6:18 pm Reply

Every summer we went to the cottage on Lake of Bays. It was my moms sisters cottage but they had built a small one room cottage on the property. We went every weekend and for two weeks in the summer when my dad had his vacation. I had other uncles and aunts that had cottages very close by so all summer I was with family. I loved this cottage so much from the time I was a little baby all through the troubled teen years it was a refuge for me. I brought my own kids there too and showed them all the things I had done. I never thought that as my aunt and uncle that owned the cottage, would become to old to keep going the 2/12 hours from Toronto. It was the cottage it just was. So it came as a shock to hear that they were selling the land and cottages!!! Somehow as an adult I should have seen it coming by this time my aunt and uncle were in a retirement home! I grieve this place so much, I miss it in the way, I miss my mom and dad ,I guess it’s all mixed together. Hard to think of one without the other. My dad was a different person there as my mom was. I look at pictures and as much as I love the memories they hurt too! My kids won’t get to grow up there as I did.

Tiina M. Harris   June 11, 2019 at 9:55 am Reply

Just sold the home my grandfather built on 34 acres. The most beautiful place I’ve ever known. I bought the home 13 year ago. After a painful divorce I stuck it out with my two children for ten years. My grandfather recently died at 100. He was one of those powerful forces that you never forget. He was father figure and one of my most favorite people in the world. He created this paradise for our family to visit year after year and I being the sentimental one bought it when he needed to downsize for my grandmother It’s about 20 minutes from my job which isn’t far but driving back and forth sometimes twice a day is tough. I thought by now I’d be remarried and sharing it with someone. The house had a hold on me. Don’t know how to describe it. My grandfather’s memory is everywhere. I closed on the house yesterday and he died two months ago. Two big losses in a short time. For me, my family history and identity are wrapped up in that beautiful place. At 50 it’s the only home I’ve known (I moved a lot as a child) and now I feel homeless (renting until I can find a house). Somehow turning 50 has become a critical point. I’ve watched my grandfather die and I know the brevity of life. What do I want the next 20-30 years if I am that fortunate. Is it the house and the property. Are there other adventures to had. The house takes all my resources. There are no trips, yoga classes or extra fun things I can afford. The house consumed me and the future work seemed overwhelming. I sold it with the intent to make more room for me but how is that possible when I just felt like I lost myself. Yesterday was so painful. Feel very alone.

Sarah   October 16, 2019 at 4:50 pm Reply

Hi Tiina, I see you and I feel for you. I also turned 50 this year and am now selling my home of 23 years. It is the only home I’ve been in my adult life, bought with my ex-husband (kept the house and the debt in the divorce…turns out that was not a good financial move). It was built in 1870 and I’ve lovingly renovated it. However, a few job changes require I sell now and face life anew, with no permanent home. I also feel lost. I am sorry for the loss of your family home and your grandfather. Hold tight to the memories that serve you well with us for our support and love. Take this opportunity to do new things for yourself. I also feel my house took all my resources and time. We will feel the loss for sure, but must remember to explore new freedoms in order to fully realize what we can gain through this transition. You sharing your story helped me, so thank you.

Lisa Provost   June 7, 2019 at 11:42 am Reply

I’m just now seeing this article. I lost both of my parents in 2017, 6 weeks apart. I was their caregiver and I lived there in the apartment upstairs, in the house I grew up in. The house my grandfather built. We had to sell it this past year and it not only almost rendered me homeless but it was the last straw for me in a series of big losses. I had a nervous breakdown and I will never get over losing that home, never. I can’t even go back on that street to visit a relative, I can’t be that close to the house or look at it. I can never go and visit there, it’ll send me over the edge. I haven’t been doing well in every way since leaving my home so it was the straw that broke my back as far as I’m concerned. We tried everything for me to keep that house but it wasn’t possible.

Sarah   October 16, 2019 at 4:55 pm Reply

Lisa, I am sorry for the loss of your parents and the home your grandfather built. It is a lot to handle and I understand you feel the losses so deeply. Proud of you for carrying on and sharing your story. Thank you. Blessings, Sarah

Eldavia   June 6, 2019 at 11:38 am Reply

My husband died in October. Just as he was about to retire. We had built our dream home and acreage together from the ground up over the past 28 years. There were still projects he wanted to do when he retired. But this place is too big for me to handle by myself It’s a bit remote and the winters can be isolating. I decided even before he was gone that I would have to leave it. I love it enough not to want it to be neglected. Not that there is any guarantee that new owners will keep it up. So now I have a month left before I say goodbye. It’s all happening so fast. Selling off his things. The tools he used to build this place. The sporting goods he enjoyed. The car he cherished Erasing him piece by piece. I will spread some of his ashes here and try to share w new owners our story. Our names are stamped in the concrete . Looking at houses to move to is hard. None of them will ever be our home. Too busy and scared to let myself feel all there is too feel. Like his illness, It will hit me afterwards. Another big grief on its way.

Sarah   October 16, 2019 at 4:58 pm Reply

Eldavia, I am sorry for the loss of your husband. I hope that you are settling into a new place. It’s such a loss to lose a loved one, and the physical things and places we shared with our loved ones do hold such meaning. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the best. Sarah

Tom   May 16, 2019 at 1:38 pm Reply

While I agree about visiting old houses, be careful about it. My childhood home was completely gutted and practically rebuilt. My dad went to visit it and regretted it. He said he would have preferred to picture it the way it was.

Tracey   November 15, 2020 at 9:02 am Reply

Wise advice!

“Never go back to a place where you have been happy. Until you do it remains alive for you. If you go back it will be destroyed.” – Agatha Christie

“Never go back to the place where you were once happy, as much as your heart tells you to, do not do as it says”. – Rui Veloso

Joy Hoffmann   May 13, 2021 at 11:03 am

I bought a house on my own after the death of my husband. I remodeled it and it was perfect because it was a ranch and a perfect house in which to grow old. I remarried and moved to another city and rented the house. I still do not know why I decided to sell my house. But I did and have been in mourning as if I lost a dear friend. My second husband died and I moved back to where my house was located. It has now been valued at a huge amount that I can not afford even if it was for sale. I cry ant time I go near the neighborhood and every time I even think about how really self destructive I was to sell it I now live in a small condo which is nice but…I cannot bear the memories. I know I have to move on but the emotional pain is so real and difficult. I keep saying ,” it is just a thing”

Cadfan.   April 5, 2019 at 5:31 pm Reply

We had a lovely home . A beautiful huge garden at the back. A biggish garden at the front. An ex council home, we had to do it uIp. It included putting in a bathroom. I loved every inch of it. Each plant was planted. Each wall painted/renovated or re done in some way. We left because of lots of reasons including health, but mainly due to community issues which became difficult for my husband to cope with. It was the first house I ever felt a part of. I miss it so much. It isn’t worth leaving a house you love if you can help it. I didn’t expect to grieve for a home, like I am now.

Deb R   March 12, 2019 at 11:22 am Reply

I realized that losing my home to bank fraud back in 2011 has really messed with my ability to feel safe. Everything about saving for 10 years and losing it to unethical business practices has led me to be to scared to ever love a home again. I realized I still hate Chase bank as I read your article. I hate the legal system for giving them a slap on the wrist and allowing such pitiful compensation to happen that I and 1000’s of others didn’t even get half of my down payment back. How do you heal when you can’t have a place of your own or that anyone can and will take it at any time? That loss wiped me out so completely that I am too tired and too old to rebuild, so I just rent until I die. I even used my small retirement savings to try to save my house. Sometimes I wonder if living in my car would feel safer because at least I own that. I grieve my home.

Pat   November 2, 2019 at 10:20 pm Reply

I am so sorry for your loss of your home, and more importantly, your loss of hope for the future. I lost my dream farm a few weeks ago. It sold at a foreclosure auction for pennies on the dollar. I am renting now. I feel the trauma, it’s kind of a shell shock, and I know I have much grieving left to do. But I have hope. I have a plan to build my credit back and buy another home within 2 years. But I need a few things from the new place. I need to be able to pay it off in 10 years, and I am 60 now. When I turn 70 I can get my full social security. And all I want to be paying for my home by then will be the property taxes. It’s a tall order, but here in Vermont it can be done because properties can be had for very little money if you choose carefully. I mention all this because I hope my personal hope for the future might be shared with you a little. I feel bad that you are giving up on your dream. Please don’t give up, research options, pull up the Multiple Listing Service and look at houses. What’s out there that is small, or maybe a mobile, or a duplex so the renter covers the mortgage. And maybe you have looked at it from every angle. But my wish for you is to keep looking and eventually find something with a low enough price and low enough property taxes. I don’t know you, but that is my wish for you. I’m starting over at 59. But I still have hope. Best wishes to you.

Jennifer Parker   May 15, 2018 at 2:32 pm Reply

My parents left one of the houses out family lived in for some years. Though it wasn’t where I spent my childhood, I’ve been badly grieving the loss of this house. The circumstances are not ideal. My parents moved to a different state and left the old house for sale. Irresponsibly my father is choosing to let the house foreclose and myself and my siblings arent able to buy the home. Additionally I live across the country and am not able to visit the house before it is confiscated by the bank. AND there is a basement filled with remnants of the past.

Melinda   October 25, 2016 at 2:06 pm Reply

Wow, this makes me so sad. My stepfather chose to sell the home that I spent most of my most important years in and I’m still grieving the loss, especially since the new owners (who have only lived there for a year) have now decided to sell it again. When I recently saw “Pending Sale” on a website showing my home, I wanted to cry.

I miss so many things about it, although I was unhappy when I actually lived in it, due to my stepfather’s abuse. But it was still a beautiful home with a lot of charm. I miss looking up at the stars in the night sky with my mother; I miss the old-fashioned beauty of the house itself. I feel like once again, something special has been taken away from me and I’ll never be able to replace it.

I’ve seen a lot of the same tips about taking pictures, items, etc. to preserve memories…but what can you do if you are unable to do that? My former home is in a gated community and I’m not sure I will be able to ever see it again, let alone do any of those things. I wasn’t able to do it before the home was sold in 2014 either. I already suffer from depression and this is just another blow.

Kim   January 16, 2016 at 8:46 am Reply

My father passed away in October 2014 and I have spent the past year cleaning out his home, which was also his parents home…its been in our family for over 80 years. It was not possible to keep the home as there are other family members involved. It was cathartic in a way, but also very painful. Finding long hidden treasures of my grandmothers, seeing the pencil notches on the wall, marking the heights of the children and grandchildren, recalling the stretchy cheese sandwiches and lemon lettuce my grandmother would make for my cousin and I each summer we visited. Letters that have been filed away for decades, old technology that kept the front rom in a time warp of sorts. My dad changed very little in his parents farm house…

I just signed the papers this past week to sell the home, and while I have a sense of relief that it’s done, I will forever be sad that we were unable to keep the old, 1920s farmhouse that was a huge part of not only my childhood, but many many others who spent time at The Pardi’s… My husband took many photographs over the past year of the home and just recently shared them with me.

No matter how far I may travel from Boulder Colorado, there will always be a part of my heart at 1503 Cedar Avenue…

https://pardihistory.com/1503-cedar-after-larry/

Tracy   January 16, 2016 at 1:02 am Reply

I have a torn heart. I have a wee place of my own now for a year and through difficult circumstances, losing my dad, the horrid actions of his partner throwing away/giving away his belongings without asking or consideration of me or my family… I am now in the position of owning his house. I love it, he worked so hard to have this nice home and we shared many good memories, as well in the latter months some bad ones that had to do with her, not my dad. So it is empty, hollow now, a house without a soul. Everywhere I look in this cavernous house I see & hear my dad. It hurts to know he won’t come back to it or to me. I need to make a decision as I can’t keep both. I wonder if I furnish it, put in my personal things along with the few of his that I do have I will feel better about it? Maybe I will find some peace and feel connected instead of so disconnected? A move is required, so is a lifestyle change as it is more in the suburbs with nature than the busy city? Think I’m having a mid life crisis!

Melinda   October 25, 2016 at 2:26 pm Reply

I know you wrote your comment months ago but I wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for the loss of your father. I think you should do what feels right to you, if you haven’t made the decision already. Only you can determine what will make you feel better. Your idea about moving into the old house and decorating it sounds great! I wish I could do the same with my former home, so you are lucky in that sense.

And I can relate to the bit about disliking your dad’s partner, because I feel that way about my mother’s husband. He is not a nice person and I believe he will do the same thing with my mom’s things someday if she dies before he does. He doesn’t care about anyone but himself. It is never easy when our parents choose selfish partners, but it happens.

One more thought…although your dad is no longer with you, he really is all around you. His spirit is still there and I’m sure he would want you to be happy no matter what.

Tracy   September 10, 2019 at 2:45 am

Ah Melinda, thank you for the lovely message. I stumbled across this article once again and have read the most recent comments and found my own words and yours. I am slowly redecorating, though a weird sense of guilt comes over me, as though I shouldn’t be, it is hard to describe, guilt I guess?……If you happen to stumble on the article again, I can only encourage you to talk to your mom about what is precious to you, how you want to remember her etc before her husband takes control. I wish I had, but it so difficult to bring up such a sensitive topic especially about possessions as it seems so materialistic, but sometimes, it really is the little things that matter the most, that are insignificant to someone else that we treasure most.

Anonymous   January 15, 2016 at 11:27 am Reply

I am definitely going through this right now. I inherited my dad and step mother’s home. They lived there for a significant amount of time and put a lot of hard work and effort into it. I never lived there with them and I don’t feel that sort of attachment to the house. My half- siblings grew up there and it was in their mother’s family passed down from their grandmother. So there is history there. Complicated to explain as to how it was left to me, and even more complicated comes the emotions of settling an estate. The house was not the same without my dad or step mom being there. I felt wrong being there without them. I am grieving the loss of them which I feel I am at peace with as much as I can be. I am having a harder time letting go of their belongings which feels like letting them go piece by piece. It’s overwhelming. I am pretty much on my own with this as my family has fallen apart since they day they died. The home is not geographically close to me, being an hour and a half away. I will be moving across the country in a month. I have given family members who have still been in contact with me items they have wanted and I think having an auction is the next step once I remove the items I want. It would be too painful for me to see each item go one by one. It’s time to move forward, and thank goodness I’ve been able to do it on my own time frame. I am thankful they left the home to me, but it does not suit my needs at this point in my life. I’ve spent a lot of time there and it has been peaceful and painful at the same time. It’s a completely different vibe from when they lived there. Every time I go there I feel like I keep picking at a scab it has taken longer to heal.

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The House We Grew Up In

Lisa jewell.

388 pages, Hardcover

First published July 18, 2013

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The House We Grew Up In

64 pages • 2 hours read

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Chapters 13-17 and Epilogue

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Lorelei Bird

Lorelei is the book’s central character. She has one living sister, Pandora, and her sister Athena was stillborn. Her father was aggressive, and Lorelei endured sexual abuse from a family friend. As a result, she started collecting items, including her family members’ hair. Lorelei marries Colin and starts a family because she wants to create childhoods different from her own. They have four children: Megan, Bethan, Rory, and Rhys. However, this project is not enough to heal her trauma, and her hoarding and childlike behavior continue into parenthood.

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The House Were I Grew Up Short Summary

The Home Where I Grew Up Situated in front of a dirt road, across from and empty lot that had a river running by it, was my childhood home. I grew up in this home alongside my mother, four sisters, and two brothers. I can remember every corner of the house as if it was yesterday that I lived there. The house is located in Michoacan Mexico, in a small town in the mountains called Coalcoman. The town was so small that everyone knew each other. It was a colorful town with dirt roads and bright colored houses.

Most of the houses were made of brick and cement just like my home. At the end or the road that led out of the town in to the deep bush in the mountains was my house. Because the road also led directly in to the town, it was busy with people walking, riding their bikes and burros, and an old car now and then. As soon as you turned in to my street, your eyes would be immediately swayed towards my house, not because it was beautiful but because of the huge metal door that opened in to what I consider the living room, this was the main entrance.

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The door was the color of rust, it had beautiful designs made of twisted metal. It looked like a door that you would find at the entrance of an old cemetery or an old style mansion. The house was built on a high platform because when the rainy season started, the river next to the empty lot overflowed in to the roads and took everything on its path. A cement ramp was built right in front of the door, used to drive a car in to the house and momentarily convert the living room in to a garage. The house was built with brick and cement, it had four bedrooms, a kitchen, a bathroom, and, a back yard.

It was painted white and looked as if it was unfinished like many houses looked in town. On the outside of the house, there was a young lemon tree that yellowed with fruit and gave away a sweet aroma. Next to the tree there were some flower pots and wood that we used to fuel a mud and brick stove that we built in the back yard to use when we ran out of gas. Large cracks ran from corner to corner on the uneven walls of the house. Next to the big door was a door that led in to one of the bedrooms, this room was converted in to a small store, we sold canned and dry food and drinks, an unpainted wooden counter reeted the customers. Our small store always smelled as if you were walking in to a bakery because of the freshly made bread delivered every morning by the town’s baker. Across from the store was my bedroom which I shared with all of my sisters and mother. We all slept on a king-size bed even though there were two other queen beds in the bedroom. An old wooden armoire was used as a TV stand, the small TV was only one square foot, it was hard to see but we lived with it because we were not aware that there was any better.

On the wall that connected to the boys bedroom was a huge square shaped hole were a window was missing, this was used by all my siblings as a short cut in to each other’s bedrooms. We often got in trouble for jumping over the window. The fourth room was always kept locked, it was used as a guest room. We never bothered with it because it appeared to be haunted, we often heard chatter and laughter coming from this room, and it was reason enough to keep away. To this day I still wander if what took place there was real.

The living room was empty, there was no furniture, we often used the red tile floor to slide around in soapy water when we were supposed to be mopping. It was like our personal skating ring. The kitchen opened in to the living room, by the kitchen, there was a huge metal and glass table that seated twelve people. I used to think it was unnecessary because there were only eight of us, but now I know that we had a big table because my mother wanted to have a place for visitors to seat and dine with us. The unattached counters in the kitchen were made of wood, and were usually empty with nothing but a ceramic jug of water to be seen.

On the old white gas stove, you could always find freshly cooked beans, which were a staple at my house. In front of the kitchen is what you can call a sink, we called it a lavadero which means washer. The sink was a cement slab with a small cement pool built next to it, were we collected water to wash our clothes and dishes. The bathroom was next to the sink, it had blue tile throughout, there was only a toilet on one corner and a shower head that delivered little water and got the whole bathroom wet when used. The living room and the sink marked the end of the living space and the beginning of the back yard.

There was no door to the back yard, the living room was connected to it and from there we could enjoy the blue sky while washing dishes, on the down side, when it rained we had a lot of mopping to do. A tall brick wall surrounded the back yard giving it the feeling of being outside while still inside. We often used the back yard as our second kitchen, we used to eat there when we ran out of gas, using wooden slabs as a table and metal cans for chairs. My mom would cook us dinner in the mud stove we built with our own hands, the stove still stands to this day.

The memories of this house and the time I spent there with my siblings are one of the greatest memories I have of my childhood. Growing up in this small town, in this house, allowed to me have a sense of freedom. Since I grew up without the craze of electronics and toys, and even experienced hunger, I was able to grow up in to an individual that appreciates life and the little things that most people think of as miniscule. I can positively say that growing up in this house shaped me in to the person I’m today.

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The Psychology of Home: Why Where You Live Means So Much

There's a reason why the first thing we often ask someone when we meet them, right after we learn their name, is "where's home for you?"

My house is a shrine to my homes. There's a triptych of sunsets next to my bedroom door, dusk forever falling over the small Michigan town where I grew up, the beach next to my college dorm and Place de la Concorde in Paris, where I spent a cliché but nonetheless happy semester. And that's only the beginning. Typographic posters of Michigan and Chicago hang above my bed, a photo of taxis zooming around Manhattan sits atop my dresser and a postcard of my hometown's famous water tower is taped to my door. My roommate and I have an entire wall in our kitchen plastered with maps of places we've been, and twin Ferris wheels, one at Navy Pier, one at Place de la Concorde, are stacked on top of one another in my living room.

I considered each of those places my home at one time or another, whether it was for months or years. When laid out all together, the theme to my décor becomes painfully obvious, but why it was more important to me to display the places I've lived rather than pictures of friends, or favorite music or books, all of which are also meaningful, I couldn't initially say.

Susan Clayton, an environmental psychologist at the College of Wooster, says that for many people, their home is part of their self-definition, which is why we do things like decorate our houses and take care of our lawns. These large patches of vegetation serve little real purpose, but they are part of a public face people put on, displaying their home as an extension of themselves. It's hardly rare, though, in our mobile modern society, to accumulate several different homes over the course of a lifetime. So how does that affect our conception of ourselves?

For better or worse, the place where we grew up usually retains an iconic status, Clayton says. But while it's human nature to want to have a place to belong, we also want to be special, and defining yourself as someone who once lived somewhere more interesting than the suburbs of Michigan is one way to do that. "You might choose to identify as a person who used to live somewhere else, because it makes you distinctive," Clayton says. I know full well that living in Paris for three months doesn't make me a Parisian, but that doesn't mean there's not an Eiffel Tower on my shower curtain anyway.

We may use our homes to help distinguish ourselves, but the dominant Western viewpoint is that regardless of location, the individual remains unchanged. It wasn't until I stumbled across the following notion, mentioned in passing in a book about a Hindu pilgrimage by William S. Sax, that I began to question that idea: "People and the places where they reside are engaged in a continuing set of exchanges; they have determinate, mutual effects upon each other because they are part of a single, interactive system."

This is the conception of home held by many South Asians and it fascinated me so much that I set out to write this story. What I learned, in talking with Sax, is that while in the West we may feel sentimental or nostalgic attachment to the places we've lived, in the end we see them as separate from our inner selves. Most Westerners believe that "your psychology, and your consciousness and your subjectivity don't really depend on the place where you live," Sax says. "They come from inside -- from inside your brain, or inside your soul or inside your personality." But for many South Asian communities, a home isn't just where you are, it's who you are.

In the modern Western world, perceptions of home are consistently colored by factors of economy and choice. There's an expectation in our society that you'll grow up, buy a house, get a mortgage, and jump through all the financial hoops that home ownership entails, explains Patrick Devine-Wright, a professor in human geography at the University of Exeter. And it's true that part of why my home feels like mine is because I'm the one paying for it, not my parents, not a college scholarship. "That kind of economic system is predicated on marketing people to live in a different home, or a better home than the one they're in," Devine-Wright says. The endless options can leave us constantly wondering if there isn't some place with better schools, a better neighborhood, more green space, and on and on. We may leave a pretty good thing behind, hoping that the next place will be even more desirable.

In some ways, this mobility has become part of the natural course of a life. The script is a familiar one: you move out of your parents' house, maybe go to college, get a place of your own, get a bigger house when you have kids, then a smaller one when the kids move out. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Even if we did stay in one place, it's unlikely we would ever have the same deep attachment to our environment as those from some South Asian communities do. It just doesn't fit with our culture.

But in spite of everything -- in spite of the mobility, the individualism, and the economy -- on some level we do recognize the importance of place. The first thing we ask someone when we meet them, after their name, is where they are from, or the much more interestingly-phrased "where's home for you?" We ask, not just to place a pushpin for them in our mental map of acquaintances, but because we recognize that the answer tells us something important about them. My answer for "where are you from?" is usually Michigan, but "where's home for you?" is a little harder.

If home is where the heart is, then by its most literal definition, my home is wherever I am. I've always been liberal in my use of the word. If I'm going to visit my parents, I'm going home and if I'm returning to Chicago, I'm also going home. My host parents' apartment in Paris was home while I lived there, as was my college dorm and my aunt's place on the Upper West Side, where I stayed during my internship. And the truth is, the location of your heart, as well as the rest of your body, does affect who you are. The differences may seem trivial (a new subculture means new friends, more open spaces make you want to go outside more), but they can lead to lifestyle changes that are significant.

Memories, too, are cued by the physical environment. When you visit a place you used to live, these cues can cause you to revert back to the person you were when you lived there. The rest of the time, different places are kept largely separated in our minds. The more connections our brain makes to something, the more likely our everyday thoughts are to lead us there. But connections made in one place can be isolated from those made in another, so we may not think as often about things that happened for the few months we lived someplace else. Looking back, many of my homes feel more like places borrowed than places possessed, and while I sometimes sift through mental souvenirs of my time there, in the scope of a lifetime, I was only a tourist.

I can't possibly live everywhere I once labeled home, but I can frame these places on my walls. My decorations can serve as a reminder of the more adventurous person I was in New York, the more carefree person I was in Paris, and the more ambitious person I was in Michigan. I can't be connected with my home in the intense way South Asians are in Sax's book, but neither do I presume my personality to be context-free. No one is ever free from their social or physical environment. And whether or not we are always aware of it, a home is a home because it blurs the line between the self and the surroundings, and challenges the line we try to draw between who we are and where we are.

Image: romakoma/ Shutterstock .

The House I Grew Up In

Some reflections on change, renewal, and transformation after watching a short video of the demolition of the house I grew up in. We think of our buildings as permanent, as much as we think of ourselves as permanent, but things change.

“I remember my youth and the feeling that will never come back any more–the feeling that I could last for ever, outlast the sea, the earth, and all men; the deceitful feeling that lures us on to joys, to perils, to love, to vain effort–to death; the triumphant conviction of strength, the heat of life in the handful of dust, the glow in the heart that with every year grows dim, grows cold, grows small, and expires–and expires, too soon–too soon before life itself.” Joseph Conrad in Youth, A Narrative

A friend grew up on a farm outside of Pittsburgh. He went home for a 50th college re-union and was surprised that entire area had been replaced by subdivisions. He said it was the same sensation that family he knew that lived in Santa Rosa related: they returned home after the major fires last fall that burned down about a quarter of the city and there was nothing to recognize of their neighborhood, much less their house.

I remember being fascinated by the original Sim City simulation game. It could recreate in the course of an hour what might take 50-100 years of actual time in the evolution of a city. It fundamentally changed the way I looked at the built environment. I can remember watching time lapse photography of buildings being constructed and plants sprouting, flowering, and withering but this was an entire system where different parts were waxing and waning at the same time.

My parents lived in an apartment when I was born, they purchased a house when I was about two and my father set about remodeling it prior to us moving in. My mother and I stayed with her family for about nine months and I can remember visiting the new house and seeing my father greet us at the door holding a hammer with a red kitchen town wrapped around his head like a bandanna to keep the sweat out of his eyes. I remember thinking that was just wrong somehow, the wrong way to use a towel and I have carried the image in my mind for many years.

The house I grew up in was built in the early 1900’s, I believe it was 1905 or 1908, and lasted more than a century. There was an old cistern that we filled with rock and an old outside that was torn down at some point. We tore down an old garage that had become termite ridden but left the slab as a patio we used for many years before replacing it with a chat gravel driveway and a two car turnaround.

My father continued to remodel and expand the house in various ways all during my youth: walls moved, kitchen sink moved and a central island added, new floors, a “new side” that doubled the house and required that the stairways be re-arranged. I watched all of these changes as I grew up. I can remember waking up one morning and realizing that the stairway was now in a different place. A makeshift fence guarded the 8 foot drop where the old one had stood for six decades.

A Tenant Moves On

“I can remember how when I was young I believed death to be a phenomenon of the body; now I know it to be merely a function of the mind and that of the minds of the ones who suffer the bereavement. The nihilists say it is the end; the fundamentalists, the beginning; when in reality it is no more than a single tenant or family moving out of a tenement or a town.” William Faulkner in “ As I Lay Dying “

When my grandfather passed away and a new family moved into his house that was a stranger sensation than watching this demolition.

When I was 11 or 12 and developed a lasting interest in photography my father and I remodeled a part of the “old side” basement to add a darkroom: a new sink and new cabinets: we found it more expedient to hang some old blankets to create the “airlock.”

Going Home Again

Some mornings when I awake and have yet to open my eyes I sometimes think I am back in my bed there. Not so often these days but when I was younger it might happen once or twice a year.

I can remember a man came to the house I grew up in when I was perhaps 12: he said he had grown up there and asked if he could walk through. My father was happy to show him around. At that point the house had doubled in size with all of the remodeling that had been done.

In some ways that was probably more disorienting for him than watching the house get torn down was for me. We think of buildings as permanent–once we are adults we think of ourselves as permanent–but reality is that things change.

We are young Wandering the face of the Earth Wondering what our dreams might be worth Learning that we’re only immortal For a limited time Rush in Dreamline

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Essays About Growing Up: 5 Examples and 7 Prompts

Essays about growing up help us view and understand various experiences from different perspectives. Check out our top examples and prompts for your writing.

How do you know when you’ve finally grown up? Me, it happened when I was in high school. I realized I matured when I had no qualms about looking for ways to help my family financially. I didn’t think I had a choice, but at the same time, I desperately wanted to aid my parents in ensuring we had food on the table. 

I was a fast food crew member, a librarian, and many other odd jobs I could talk about for hours. Some judge my parents’ poor financial literacy when I tell my stories, but I never did. All of it was a part of my growing up; without these experiences, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. 

Growing up is a unique experience for every person, influenced by our surroundings and influences. With so many variables, each person has their own story about growing up; take a look below to see the best example and prompts to begin writing your own. You might also like these essays about youth .

5 Essay Examples

1. social influences on children’s growing up by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 2. growing up in the 626 by katie gee salisbury, 3. growing up in poverty determines the person’s fate by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 4. growing up on the streets by writer bernadette, 5. growing up with hearing loss by anonymous on ivypanda.com, 1. what does growing up mean, 2. the effect of my environment on my growth, 3. growing up rich or poor, 4. family values and growing up, 5. growing up with siblings, 6. your best memories growing up, 7. changes while growing up.

“Human growth and development is a complicated process which is inevitably impacted upon by socioeconomic circumstances within which an individual is growing up.”

To demonstrate the social influences that can impact a child’s experiences growing up, the essay offers several credible citations from professionals, such as Damon and Lerner, the writer and editor of “ Handbook of Child Psychology .” It looks at how social factors, such as living conditions, access to resources, and others, can affect a child’s overall development as they grow. Ultimately, the writer believes that parents play a huge role in the development of their children. You can also check out these essays about development .

“Something welled up inside my throat. All of a sudden I felt a burning urgency to stake a claim, to assert that I was one of them, that I too belonged in this group. ‘Hey guys, I’m Chinese too,’ I ventured. A classmate who carpooled with my family was quick to counter, ‘Katie, that doesn’t count.'”

Salisbury shares her experiences as an overachieving Asian-American, focusing on her grievances at being biracial, not connecting to her heritage, and people’s assumption of her being white. She talks about her life in 626, the area code for Arcadia, Southern California, where most Asians reside. At the end of her essay, Salisbury offers facts about herself to the reader, recognizing and accepting every part of herself.

Looking for more? Check out these essays about time .

“Economic mobility is the ability of someone or a family to move up from one income group to another. In the United States, it is at an all-time low and is currently decreasing.”

The author shares their opinion on how a family’s financial situation shapes their children’s future. To back up their claim, the essay provides relevant statistics showing the number of children and families in poverty, alongside its dramatic effects on a child’s overall development. The writer mentions that a family’s economic incompetence can pass on to the children, reducing their chances of receiving a proper education.

“As a young black woman growing up on the hardcore streets of North Philadelphia, you have to strive and fight for everything. The negativity and madness can grab and swallow even the most well-behaved kids.”

Bernadette opens her readers’ eyes to the harsh realities of being a young black woman throughout her essay. However, she also expresses her gratitude to her family, who encouraged her to have a positive mindset. Her parents, who also grew up on the streets of North Philly, were determined to give her and her siblings a proper education. 

She knows how individuals’ environments impact their values ​​and choices, so she fought hard to endure her circumstances. She also notes that the lack of exposure to different social norms results in children having limited thinking and prevents them from entertaining new perspectives. You might be interested in these essays about dream jobs .

“The world is not accommodating to people with hearing disabilities: apart from professionals, barely anyone knows and understands sign language. On top of that, many are merely unaware of the fact that they might be hurting and making a deaf person feel disrespected.”

The essay discusses critical issues in children growing up with hearing impairments. It includes situations that show the difference between a child growing up in an all-deaf family and a non-deaf environment. While parental love and support are essential, deaf parents should consider hearing impairment a gift and be aware of their children’s needs. 

If you are interested in learning more, check out our essay writing tips !

7 Prompts for Essays About Growing Up

Growing up is a continuous sequence where we develop and experience significant changes in our bodies and how we think and feel. It’s the transition between being a child and an adult, so define what childhood and adulthood entail in your essay.

Then, describe how an individual grows up and the indications that they progressed physically and intellectually. For a fun addition to your essay, include questions your readers can answer to see if they have matured.

Many studies show how people’s environments, such as home, community, and school, affect growth. These environments significantly impact an individual’s development through interactions. For this prompt, write about the factors that influence your overall development and explain how you think they affected you. For example, those who studied at a religious school tend to be more conservative.

Money is essential for survival, but only some have easy access. Most people act and make decisions based on how much money they have, which also influences their behavior. In this prompt, cite several situations where money affects parents’ decisions about their children’s needs and wants and how it affects the children as they grow up.

Discuss how financial constraints impact their emotions, perceptions, and choices in life. Choose high, average, and low-income households, then compare and contrast their situations. To create an in-depth analysis, use interview research and statistical data to back up your arguments.

Studies show that children understand rules and have already formed their behaviors and attitudes at seven. Before this age, children are surrounded by relatives who teach them values through experiences within the family. For this prompt, use real-life examples and factual information to discuss the importance of good parenting in instilling good values ​​in children.

Growing up with siblings is an entirely different experience growing up versus being an only child. Use this prompt to explain how having a brother or sister can impact a child’s progress and discuss its pros and cons. For instance, having siblings means the child has more role models and can get more emotional support. However, it can also mean that a child craves more of their parent’s attention. Discuss these points in your essay, and decide the “better” experience, for a fun argumentative essay.

In this essay, choose the best memories you had from childhood to the current day that has contributed significantly to your principles and outlook. Describe each memory and share how it changed you, for better or worse.

Talk about the changes people expect as they grow up. These physical, emotional, or mental changes lead people to act and think more maturely.  Add studies demonstrating the necessity of these changes and recount instances when you realize that you’ve grown up. For example, if before you didn’t care about your spending, now you’re more frugal and learned to save money. For help with your essay, check our round-up of best essay writing apps .

Maria Caballero is a freelance writer who has been writing since high school. She believes that to be a writer doesn't only refer to excellent syntax and semantics but also knowing how to weave words together to communicate to any reader effectively.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Hometown — Home is Where the Heart Is: An Exploration of the Meaning

Home is Where The Heart Is: an Exploration of The Meaning

• Categories: Hometown

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Published: Sep 12, 2023

Words: 682 | Page: 1 | 4 min read

Table of contents

Introduction, the emotional attachment to home, impact on personal values and beliefs, home as a place of comfort, security, and belonging.

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I Grew Up In A Broken Home, But It Shaped Me And I’m Blessed For It

• https://thoughtcatalog.com/?p=330956

People always ask me if it was hard coming from a broken family. By broken they’re referring to the fact that my parents divorced earlier than I can remember, both went through multiple relationships, and my siblings didn’t always have the same last name as me. From as early as I can remember, my parents didn’t get along, I was passed back and forth on a strict schedule as if the custody papers were actually a child rental agreement. I didn’t understand why my parents didn’t get along but even more confusing, I didn’t understand how they ever got along with each other. Honestly, it’s a miracle I was conceived. My friends would always ask if I wished they were still married but I couldn’t picture them together so that was always a quick and easy, no.

The hardest part about coming from a broken home isn’t that your parents aren’t in love anymore. The hardest part is that it’s not about you. When I say not about you, I mean nothing, nada. Even things you would think should be about you like your schedule, your school lunch money, your clothes, your extracurricular activities – they’re not about you, they’re all about the other parent. I felt like my parents spent more time trying to get back at one another, or jab each other, than actually tend to my needs. Being an only child only amplified the situation. I think with a few more biological siblings, they might have been too distracted but as an only child, my mom definitely had way too much time on her hands.

Whenever someone reacts to my childhood with sympathy I am always a little perplexed. If anything I feel fortunate to have come from a ‘broken home’. While people like to scoff at the fact that my dad has been married two times since my mom, I feel like I am the one who should be laughing because I’m rolling five deep when it comes to parental support after you count my mom’s beau who has been in my life since I was five. I might have been born an only child but I have been blessed with six siblings as a result of divorce (thank God, let’s face it I probably would have gone crazy by myself). I have one half brother and if my dad and his mom had never split I would not be here. What used to be a battle between attending 2 Christmas’s became a battle between 4 Christmas’s since I still visit my ex-step-mom’s house on the holidays. I can’t help but smile and feel loved. It’s hard not to feel the support of that many people.

I’ve gone through things I’d rather not relive. There were times that weren’t great and times that were downright awful, but whose family doesn’t have those times? I’d say the true meaning of family is having those rough edges that can make things uncomfortable with them but yet still make them your first choice above all else. Without my mom’s boyfriend, who would I go to when she has one of her moods? Heck, who would she go to when I have one of mine? Having a broken home teaches you that blood isn’t always thicker than water (sometimes it’s just as thick), forgiveness is possible, and although we were both grown adults, it was possible for my dad to find someone who would love me and my brother like we were her own.

Avolyn Fisher

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Childhood and Growing up Essay: Titles & Examples

What are the challenges of growing up? This question is thought-provoking and exciting to answer. Each person has their unique experience, and for many the process of growing up is not easy. Some live in poverty, others have complex family relationships. A childhood and growing up essay allows you to discover your new sides and see how well you know yourself.

This article is a writing guide for an essay about growing up. It contains creative essay titles on the topic, together with writing prompts and short essay examples. Get inspired to write your growing up essay with us!

• 📝 Growing up Writing Prompts
• 📚 Growing up Essay Topics
• 📜 Essay Sample #1
• 📜 Essay Sample #2

📝 What Are the Challenges of Growing Up? Essay Prompts

Every child is unique, so that everyone can tell a different childhood story.

What is typical for everyone – the process of growing up is a challenge. Although there’re lots of challenges, it’s also an exciting experience.

Growing up essays usually describe hobbies, relationships with siblings, difficulties with parents, etc. Check our essay ideas below.

What Does It Mean to Grow up?

This is not only about aging or changing your looks. Growing up is a physical and a deep psychological process at the same time. Your picture of the world changes, people come and go, and you change too.

Creating a mind map of your childhood can help you understand what exactly growing up was to you.

A reflective childhood & growing up essay can involve such matters:

• Taking on new responsibilities.
• Learning from mistakes.
• Changes in attitude towards people.
• Childhood dreams and ambitions.
• Childhood beliefs and values.
• Independence, confidence, and self-acceptance.
• Life lessons that shaped one’s personality.
• People who affected the growing up process.

Growing up in a Small Town Essay

Describe the details of being a child in a small town. You can also describe the pluses and minuses of living in a small town. It can be a general overview, but better try to connect it to your life and experience.

In this kind of a growing up essay, you might write about:

• Knowing everyone around.
• Local school.
• The first summer job.
• The places that have always been special.

A comparative essay is a good choice in this case. Discuss why life in small towns is different from life in big cities.

Growing up without a Father Essay

How many children in the United States grow up in single-parent families?

Growing up with a single parent is certainly not the only thing that shapes a kid’s personality. However, it is one of the essential factors, for sure.

• Check the statistics to see how many children grow up with one parent.
• Tell about the mother’s efforts to raise children alone while working.
• Include stories about relatives that were of immense help: siblings, aunts, uncles, and grandparents.
• Describe a person who substitutes father and his role.

Growing up without a Mother Essay

This topic might seem similar to the previous one, but there are several differences.

• Write about the general psychological effects of growing up without a mother.
• Compare the scientific facts with personal experience and conclude.
• Describe how it affects adult life and childhood.
• Write about the typical leisure time with father.

While describing a relationship with a father, describe daily responsibilities and how they influence a child’s life. What challenges do children growing up with a single parent experience?

Growing up Asian in America Essay

Even though the US is multicultural, there are still issues that people of color face. Including children.

Explain how the childhood of an Asian is different from the experience of white Americans. Describe it if you were a part of an Asian community such as a neighborhood or school you attended. Write about your national traditions that you maintained or abandoned.

In your essay on growing up, describe the challenges you overcame. These might include:

• The time you faced racism.
• The stereotypes and misconceptions you faced.
• The choice between your identity and the one imposed by society.
• How has the social position of Asians in the United States changed?

Growing up in Poverty Essay

How many young Americans live in families with incomes below the poverty threshold? There are several risks which growing up in poverty possesses.

You can discuss them in your growing-up-poor essay:

• Malnutrition. Starting from low birth weight, ending with health problems.
• Psychological damage. Being in need as a child might cause emotional and behavioral issues.
• Academic failures. Some poor children have to work and attend school at the same time. This interferes with the proper learning process.

Use growing up in poverty topic for a problem-solution essay. Here you can discuss how to deal with poverty and provide equal opportunities for all children.

Growing up in Two Cultures Essay

Adapting to a new culture is a complicated process. It is a massive challenge for children as they can’t identify themselves.

Here is what you can discuss in your essay on growing up:

• Traditions of your family. They might include cuisine, holidays, religious practices.
• Transcultural adaptation. Describe the change of behavioral patterns, language, or looks.
• Your relationships with peers. Tell about the situations you remember: bad experiences such as bullying or good ones such as interest in your culture.

Write a narrative essay about your vision of what it’s like to be a person who belongs to two cultures.

📚 Essay Titles about Growing Up

And here is your selection of essay topics that you can also use as ideas for a speech or discussion.

You can pick your essay title from this list:

• What country is the best for children to grow up in?
• Should kids and teenagers work during the summer holidays?
• Explain how growing up among American children influences children of migrants.
• What is the most important lesson you learned from your parents?
• Were you more like your father or mother as a child?
• What do you think you needed the most as a child?
• What are the common problems between parents and adolescents?
• Have you ever been a victim or took part in school bullying?
• What are the consequences of growing up too fast?
• Describe a life-changing experience from your childhood.
• How to motivate children to study based on their early childhood performance?
• Does having a pet teach children responsibility?
• Did you have any secrets that you kept from your parents?
• What is it like growing up in a small town with big ambitions?
• What tips could you give your parents if you went back in time?
• What advice would you give yourself if you went back in time?
• How did your race and ethnicity affect your childhood?
• Describe your childhood hobby and the achievements in it.
• How do childhood problems might affect adult life?
• Is it more challenging to grow up as a girl or a boy?
• Who was your role model as you were a child?
• What challenges did you face while growing up, which you think others didn’t?
• What was the biggest mistake you made in your childhood?
• What are the psychological effects of family issues on children?
• How well do you remember your childhood?
• What are the main reasons for suicide among teenagers?
• Describe your best childhood friend and your relationship.
• How does growing up in a low-income family affect one’s attitude to money?
• Why do children lie to their parents?
• What is your brightest childhood memory?
• Why do teenagers tend to be rebellious and sometimes violent?
• What would you change in your childhood if you had a chance?
• Describe the moment when you felt you had grown up.
• How has your music taste changed since you were a kid?
• How to instill tolerance in children from an early age?
• Growing up without a father made me a stronger person.
• What was your dream profession when you were a child?
• What is the most unforgettable present you received as a kid?
• Were you popular in middle and high school?
• What is your earliest childhood memory, and why do you think it’s this one ?
• What is the best advice you have received as a child?
• How successful were you academically as a child?
• How to avoid and prevent bullying at school?
• What experience in your family affected you the most and why?
• Did your parents support your dreams and ambitions?
• How can you describe your relationships with your siblings?
• What were the common traits of teenagers of your generation ?
• What is the most valuable object that reminds you of childhood?
• Describe your first love and what you felt about it?
• How did your family affect your current values?
• Videogame Addiction and Its Impact on Children.
• Can a single parent provide enough attention and care to their children?
• Who was the closest to you in your family?
• What are the things your parents have done you are grateful for?
• What opportunities do you wish you could have as a kid?
• What were your phobias in childhood or as a teenager ?
• What were your strong and weak sides when you were a child?
• What do you want your future family to be like?
• How to detect and prevent child abuse at early stages?
• Why do teenagers try smoking , drugs, or alcohol?

📜 Growing Up Essay Example #1

To make it easier for you, our experts prepared a couple of childhood and growing up essays. Check them below!

Everyone defines growing up in their way. It is more than just physical changes that you notice in the mirror. As for me, growing up means accepting responsibilities, being able to take care of somebody, and becoming independent. I remember the first time my parents asked me to babysit my little sister. Rachel was a silent kid, but I was nervous anyway. I wanted my parents to come home as early as possible because I was afraid of the responsibility. I felt as if they entrusted her life and safety to me, just a teenager. Some weeks later, I discovered that it was not terrifying me anymore. We had fun together; I taught her how to play games and enjoyed our time together. Rachel was also the first person I learned to take care of. I helped my sister with her homework, picked her from school, and gave her advice when she asked for it. The feeling that I do it without waiting for something in return taught me a lot. I changed my attitude towards people, learned how to be kind and generous. Now I am sure that I will be able to nurture my kids in the future. Moving to a college dormitory made me independent. I thought I was an adult fully responsible for myself at high school, but I was wrong. Living alone and being in charge of my life motivated me to change a lot. I learned how to spend time alone, value it and take care of my health. I also started managing my time rationally. Independence doesn’t mean you don’t need other people in your life. It means you can rely on yourself in any case. I can’t say that I am a one hundred percent adult at this stage of my life. I am sure that I grew up helping my parents, my sister, and myself. I changed a lot. But many challenges are waiting for me in the future. Taking up more responsibilities and facing difficulties will help me on my way.

📜 Growing Up Essay Example #2

Growing up asian in america.

Asian-American children are a vulnerable group that needs protection. My experience is an excellent example of the difficulties that Asian-Americans might face in their childhood. As an Asian, I faced bullying at school, low expectations regarding my future career, and troubles with self-identification. High school was a hard time for me. 21.7% of Asians report being bullied at school . The rate is the highest among all the ethnic groups. I didn’t report my own experience as I didn’t want to seem weak. I was bullied because I studied harder than many other students and cared about my grades too much. I am sure that I would have been bullied less if I were a white child. There is nothing wrong with being ambitious regardless of your ethnicity. My family and friends didn’t support my aspiration to become a doctor. They said that no one from my family went to college and that it was too hard to be admitted. It was challenging to keep my motivation without support. Even when they knew I had all the chances to receive financial aid, they just didn’t believe it. It was always hard for me to identify myself. I don’t know if I am like children from China as I have never been there. I was born and raised in the United States. But my motherland does not feel like home too. I don’t look like many of my peers, and my family has a different lifestyle and traditions. I don’t think that I belong to any of the communities. In conclusion, my experience shows how a childhood of an Asian-American kid might look like. I feel that further generations will confront similar challenges facing society and themselves. That is why I want to raise attention to the mentioned problems and change people’s attitudes.

We hope that our article clarified what a growing up essay should look like.

We will be glad to learn about your experience of writing such an essay! Share your thoughts below in the comment section.

This is it for today. Good luck and happy writing!

My Home Essay

500 words on my home essay.

A home is a place that gives comfort to everyone. It is because a home is filled with love and life. Much like every lucky person, I also have a home and a loving family. Through My Home Essay, I will take you through what my home is like and how much it means to me.

A Place I Call Home

My home is situated in the city. It is not too big nor too small, just the perfect size. My family lives in the home. It comprises of my father, mother, sister and grandparents. We live in our ancestral home so my home is very vintage.

It is very old but remains to be super strong. There are six rooms in my home. Each family member has a unique room which they have decorated as per their liking. For instance, my elder sister is a big fan of music, so her walls are filled with posters of musicians like BTS, RM, and more.

Our drawing room is a large one with a high ceiling. We still use the vintage sofa set which my grandmother got as a wedding gift. Similarly, there is a vintage TV and radio which she uses till date.

Adjoining the drawing room is my bedroom. It is my favourite room because it contains everything that I love. I have a pet guinea pig which lives in a cage in my room. We also have a storeroom which is filled with things we don’t use but also cannot discard.

Our lawn in front of the house has a little garden. In that garden , my mother is growing her own kitchen garden. She is passionate about it and brings different seeds every month to grow them out and use them in our food.

The fondest memories I have in a place is my terrace. Our terrace is huge with many plants. I remember all the good times we have spent there as a family. Moreover, we play there a lot when my cousins come over. Thus, every nook and corner of my home is special to me.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Appreciation Towards My Home

I know a lot of people who do not have homes or not as big as mine. It makes me more grateful and appreciates my home more. Not everyone gets the fortune to have a good home and a loving family, but luckily, I have been blessed with both.

I am thankful for my home because when I grow up, I can look back at the wonderful memories I made here. The walk down the memory lane will be a sweet one because of the safety and security my home has given me. It is indeed an ideal home.

Conclusion of My Home Essay

My home is important to me because for better or worse, it helps me belong. It makes me understand my place in time and connect with the world and the universe at large. Thus, I am grateful to have a place I can call home.

FAQ on My Home Essay

Question 1: What is the importance of a home?

Answer 1: Home offers us security, belonging and privacy in addition to other essential things. Most importantly, it gives us a place with a centring where we leave every morning and long to return every night .

Question 2: Why is home important to a family?

Answer 2: A home signifies a lot more than a house. It is because we find comfort in our home as it contains memories and a place where our bonds strengthen. It is where we get plenty of benefits.

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My Childhood Home Essay

The house, which left indelible, beautiful and vivid memories in my memory and the house, which all guests love to visit and leave with reluctance is the house of my childhood. Thus, in this paper it is necessary to talk about the house of my childhood, because it is really a wonderful place that made me happy for some period of time when I was little and had carefree life.

First of all it is necessary to mention that the house of my childhood is a three-storey house with balcony located in Bogota, Columbia. The house is overlooking the street and wood floor stairs inside it always seemed as something mysterious because of their low squeak and specific wooden aroma. Thinking about rooms I remember from my childhood that all of them were rather big with excellent natural light because of wide windows with funny curtains.

In my family are four members and we have enough place for everyone and everything. Describing functional necessity of every room it is necessary to say that one room was for the parents, other room for the sister, my own room and mother’s cabinet. If to be more specific in details, mother’s cabinet was not really cabinet in its ordinary meaning, but the room which she used to sew different clothes. It was a well-equipped room, the room not only with special table, but also with sewing machine and several dummies. Mother spent a lot of time there and created very beautiful and extraordinary clothes using own imagination and her special equipment for this purpose.

The next room which I want to describe is my own room. There is no doubt that it was my favorite place, where I spent many hours reading interesting books and watching TV. There were not many furniture there, but I had a wooden bed, bookcase, table, several chairs and green armchair near the window. Walls were painted in several mild colors and I was happy to have such room, because all my friends had ordinary rooms with single-color walls, but my room was special Comparing my own and sister’s rooms it is important to say that her room was quite different and looks like a room for real princess with pink walls and a big variety of bright details everywhere. We usually liked to visit the room of each other and it was a kind of game when we were trying to change some details and find 10 differences in it.

A small backyard that is used for a dog Ranger to live was a place of different outside sports and rest. My favorite place was a brown garden bench near the big apple tree there. Frankly speaking, it was a wonderful place for looking after the kitchen, because when mother was cooking something tasty my sister and I were trying to taste it as soon as possible.

Thus, summarizing memories about the house of my childhood I want to add that due its specific building project it was the best place for my family. All rooms were filled by daily light during the whole day and I believe that light even helped members of my family to be in good mood from day to day. I believe that every house has its own soul, but nowadays I understood that peace of mind depends on harmony in the house where you spent your childhood. It is really right to say for the conclusion that the house of my childhood is my refuge, a place where I feel safe and comfortable.

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