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The Best Decision I Ever Made

A life is made of a million decisions, forks in the road that require a choice: Do I want to be a lawyer or a film producer? Should I travel across the world to attend college? Do I need to stop drinking martinis? Should I take the lucrative job offer if it means spending less time with my family?

Related:  Stop Overthinking It: 9 Ways to Make Decisions With Confidence

Sometimes we know the answers intuitively and quickly decide. Other times we debate endlessly, agonizing our way toward an answer. At pivotal points in life, the number of decisions can be overwhelming .

Robert Frost suggested that the best path was the less predictable one.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

That was true for some of the achievers we talked to—that taking risks led to fantastic success . But others said well-worn paths work, too. That’s why choosing can be so difficult. Here are what some decision-makers described as their best choices, how they were made, and how those decisions helped lead them toward success and happiness.

Blake Shelton

Country music star and The Voice judge

The best decision I ever made was two weeks out of high school I moved to Nashville to pursue my dream of being a country singer. I think if I hadn’t made that decision at such a young age I might have been afraid to do it later on in life.

James Patterson

Best-selling author who is releasing his latest book, Filthy Rich , in October

I’d like to think I’ve occasionally made good decisions in my life (first among them marrying my wife, Sue)—but professionally, I’d say that leaving my post as North American CEO of J. Walter Thompson.

At the time I left, I was being considered as a candidate for worldwide CEO, and it’s scary to contemplate a second career when you’re doing that well. But I knew I never truly had a passion for advertising. As a business, I’d always found it more difficult than it had to be—it’s surprisingly hard to sell clients blueprints that communicate what a television campaign is going to look like before it’s filmed. And every client you deal with is very different than the last.

Leaving JWT was a decision that I’ve never regretted, but it wasn’t easy. You never know what’s going to happen. All I knew at the time was that I loved writing and that I wanted to do more of it. So I kept writing and haven’t stopped since. I’ve never been happier. And I’ve never been more successful.

Author, financial adviser and motivational speaker

Fifteen years ago I decided that I didn’t want to live a lie anymore. I wanted to stand in my truth. I didn’t want people in my life who did not support me—emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. I only wanted people in my life who were positive influences on others and me.

So at the age of 50, I decided to make a clean sweep. I took a hard look at my friends, my employees and a relationship I’d been in for eight years. In just one week, I ended a lot of relationships, cutting off some friendships I’d had for a good 15 years.

And I have to tell you, it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Because the true key to success, believe it or not, is to keep good company. You might have a great idea, one that is great for you, but others will try to sabotage you.

When you stand in the truth of who you are, on all levels, then you become the most powerful person that you can be. The world is attracted to truth. The world is repelled by lies. When people can feel something isn’t right, they’re repelled from you, from your product, from your idea, from hiring you, from being around you. When you speak the truth—and act in the truth—everybody is attracted to you.

Alana Jane Nichols

Three-time gold medalist in the Paralympic Games

I went to college at the University of New Mexico. To everyone there, I was a disabled girl in a wheelchair. I got really depressed. I started thinking about suicide. I just didn’t want to live the rest of my life in that chair. It was unbearable.

Then I rolled into the university gym one Wednesday afternoon. That’s when I saw a whole team of people playing basketball in wheelchairs. They were violent and loud and hitting each other. They’d fall over in their wheelchairs; then just get back up. It was wild and ridiculous.

At some point they noticed me, and they stopped playing. They asked me my name. They asked me if I wanted to play. I had always been a rough-and-tumble girl, but since my accident, everyone had treated me like I was fragile.

That day I rolled myself onto the court, and I decided to keep playing.

Author and entrepreneur

The best decision I ever made was the decision to start making decisions. To respond and initiate, not merely to react or take what’s on offer. Mostly, the commitment to pick myself, to pursue a path that mattered to me and the people I work with. We have way more freedom than we realize , but it begins with deciding.

Soledad O’Brien

Award-winning broadcast journalist and CEO of Starfish Media Group

I knew I wanted to have a substantial career . I also knew I wanted to get married and have kids. Lots of kids.

Because I was very strategic about it, it helped me make decisions all along the way. I had it mapped out, the things that were all important to me—career, husband, children. Now I’ve been married for more than 20 years, I have four children, and I love my work.

I like to give this advice to young women: Be as intentional about planning your family life as you are about planning your career. That’s what worked for me.

Alan Parsons

Songwriter, musician and record producer

Who would turn down working with Pink Floyd in their heyday? I did.

Recording Pink Floyd’s The Dark Side of the Moon was not a very lucrative activity. I was a staff engineer at Abbey Road Studios on a fixed salary of 35 pounds a week. Following the album’s success, I turned down a substantial full-time job offer from the band to work as their recording and live sound engineer.

I was fortunate enough to soon enjoy immediate chart success as an independent music producer with a number of British and American artists. I had the creative freedom to produce artists of my own choice, and to continue with the formation of The Alan Parsons Project, which in retrospect might not have happened if I had accepted that job.

Joel Osteen

Senior Pastor of Lakewood Church in Houston and author of Think Better, Live Better , released in October

My best decision, after marrying my wife, Victoria, of course, was the decision to take over as the senior pastor at Lakewood Church.

After my father went to be with the Lord, I felt a deep desire to step up and serve as pastor of Lakewood Church. Having preached only once in my life—a week before my father died—that desire was soon bombarded by a variety of negative thoughts. Today when I see the opportunities to make a difference in the lives of so many people, I am truly grateful for God’s grace and the strength to have made that decision years ago.

Mike Rawlings

Mayor of Dallas

I’ve made a lot of decisions—I’m old—but I think the seminal one for me was deciding to stay in Dallas. I came to Dallas in 1976 after graduating from Boston College. I didn’t like Dallas very much. I thought I’d stay here for a few years, then move back East. But I went through a divorce in my first marriage and my daughter was here. I really wanted to be near her. So I decided to stay in Dallas. And I think that made me accomplish what I think is the most important job a person has, if you’re lucky enough to have kids: to be a good parent.

I think how you go about decision-making is important. A lot of decisions I face, I don’t immediately know what the right answers are. If I’ve got the time, I let those decisions come to me. You need to feel decisions as well as think them; they have to make sense both intellectually and emotionally. Then once you know what the answer is, you move quickly.

Diane Warren

Legendary eight-time Oscar nominee and Grammy-winning songwriter

The best decision I’ve ever made is to follow my own vision. I’ve never been someone to go around asking, “What do you think? What do you think?” I’ve always let my passion lead me. I’ve tried to just keep my blinders on and go for what I believe in. I know when something is great. When I know this, nothing stops me.

Paul Levine

President of Trulia

By far the best decision I ever made was to move from the East Coast to Silicon Valley 20 years ago. I grew up in the New York suburbs, and I was fascinated with technology. I realized that all of the companies I wanted to work for were located within 10 miles of each other in Silicon Valley. I wanted to be in the center of the action.

I’d advise people to think about where they live, based on what they want to do. If you want to work in automotive, you might want to move to Detroit. If you’re interested in entertaining, you probably want to be in Los Angeles.

Get to where the action is.

Arianna Huffington

Co-founder of The Huffington Post and author of The Sleep Revolution

The best decision I ever made was committing to getting eight hours of sleep a night. For many years I subscribed to a very flawed definition of success, buying into our collective delusion that burnout is the necessary price we must pay for success. Then in 2007, I had a painful wakeup call: I fainted from sleep-deprivation and exhaustion, hit my head on my desk, and broke my cheekbone. From that point on, I knew I had to make sleep a priority .

Now, 95 percent of the time I get eight hours of sleep a night. Once I started giving sleep the respect it deserves, my life improved in pretty much every way. Now, instead of waking up to the sense that I have to trudge through activities, I wake up feeling joyful about the day’s possibilities. I’m also better able to recognize red flags and rebound from setbacks. It’s like being dialed into a different channel that has less static.

TV legend and winner of seven Emmy awards

The best decision I ever made was taking the job on The Mary Tyler Moore Show . It was as fine a decision as I ever made. I was branching out into an area of comedy that I hadn’t perfected yet, so there was a lot to master. Taking that role changed my life.

One thing that comedy did for me as an actor is that, no matter how gripping a role may be, it’s not real unless you can incorporate comedy into it. It always makes a role more believable. That role helped me learn so many things I needed to know.

Mehmet Oz, m.d.,

Surgeon, author and television personality

After 31 years, I can say without question that the best decision that I ever made was marrying my wife, Lisa. I found a worthy opponent and wisely put a ring on

her. She had bigger aspirations for me than were on my vision board and mastered the art of telling me what I need to hear rather than what I want to hear. She fills in the many areas where I am weak and turbocharges my strengths. In failure, she steadies my foundation. In success, she maintains a balanced perspective.

Mandy Ginsberg

CEO for Match group North America

The night before my mother died of ovarian cancer, she did a blood test, and we discovered she had the BRCA1 mutation. With this mutation, you have a roughly 90 percent chance of having breast cancer—which my mom had in her 30s—and you have a up to 70 percent chance of having ovarian cancer.

I got tested, and I tested positive for the defect. Then I had a choice to make. Unlike the genetic tests for Alzheimer’s—for which there’s not much you can do—you can take preventive measures for this. So in my 40s, I had a preventative double mastectomy, and then a couple of years later I had a hysterectomy and oophorectomy.

In some ways, it wasn’t even a decision—I watched my mother die. With my genetics, I felt as if a bomb were going to go off at any minute. It has given me a great sense of relief, the feeling that I will have a longer runway in front of me, more time to spend with my own two daughters, more time to do the work that I love .

Lynn Whitfield

Actress and producer

When I was younger, several people forced me to think seriously about planning for retirement. So I did that, kicking and screaming. But now that I’m older, I’m grateful. That has allowed me to explore my art, without worrying about whether I work next week. It’s given me a great deal of security and freedom.

Another big decision is that three or four years ago I re-evaluated my priorities, took another look at what it takes for me to be comfortable. I started downsizing and that has made such a huge difference. I have no interest in keeping up with the Joneses or anyone else. I chose to simplify and pare down, do what I want to do, be where I want to be.

I have so many friends who are very well off and they are still having conversations about not being fulfilled. They’re wondering, What is the meaning of my life? I don’t feel that way, because I feel as if I’m living my purpose .

Dave Coulier

Stand-up comedian and actor in the Netflix series, Fuller House , and author of The Adventures of Jimmy Burger 

I grew up in Detroit, and everyone there worked in the automotive industry. You pretty much decided between the big three: Chrysler, General Motors or Ford. But I was interested in entertainment and stand-up comedy and doing silly voices for a living.

So I moved to Los Angeles and threw myself into the unknown fire. I also decided to forgo college, and everyone thought I was crazy. But I thought, No one in college is going to teach me how to do funny cartoon voices or how to be a comedy writer.

Back then, at 19 years old, I was too inexperienced and naive to know the odds—they weren’t good. But it ended up being the best decision I ever made because it completely shaped and changed my world.

Ian Ziering

Actor in Beverly Hills 90210 and Sharknado , and entrepreneur

I’ve always looked at the celebrity I’ve earned as capital.  I believe spending that capital doing good things for other people is the best way to spend it.  When I was asked to participate in The Celebrity Apprentice , I felt lucky and honored to have the chance to raise money and awareness of a horrible disease called epidermolysis bullosa. With that goal in mind, I came to the show with a no-lose mentality , and it was the best decision I ever made.

Though Leeza Gibbons ultimately won the title and $320,000 for EBKids.org, getting to mention EB on every prime time show produced that season was all I needed to feel like a winner.

Katie Kellett

Director of imprints at Arcadia Publishing

At 40 years old I made a decision to run . It wasn’t a well-thought-out decision; it was a spur of the moment choice on a miserably hot summer day in Charleston, South Carolina. 

I am the most unlikely of runners: I have never been an athlete, I smoked for the better part of two decades, and I was one of those people who always quipped, “I only run if someone is chasing me with a knife.”

But in the months that preceded that hot summer day, I had quit smoking and I’d begun to exercise. I was going through a divorce and looking for positive outlets to channel my anger and anxiety, wishing especially not to channel them toward my 5-year-old daughter. 

So I laced up my shoes, walked out the door and started to run. That first run was brutal and, truth be told, almost every one of them has been brutal since that day.

And although I haven’t exactly hated shopping for smaller clothes, the real reward has been something much deeper. Running has opened up ideas of possibility for me; I see myself in a different light.

Sarah Hepola

Author of the New York Times best-seller, Blackout

I quit drinking at the age of 35. I did not want to do it. I’d loved alcohol since I was a girl. It had been my rebellion, my path to adventure, my identity, my life companion and, eventually, my undoing. What happens when you rely on booze to fix you is that you don’t learn to soothe yourself. I’ve heard other problem drinkers say if they hadn’t quit, they probably would have died. I never thought that. But I did think, If I don’t quit, I’m never going to live.

My world had become so small by the end. Addiction is life on a very short leash. I was unhappy—no, miserable—for the first year of sobriety. I felt bitter and robbed, but with time I began to see how much I had been drinking away: my gifts, my clarity, this present moment. Sobriety was a chance to start my life over and discover all the joys in my own body that I had been drinking in order to find: confidence, creative inspiration, pleasure.

I am 41 now, a beginner in many ways, and I think of quitting drinking as the beginning of my adulthood—the moment I decided to take full responsibility for my life and, in doing so, finally made it great.

Mark Victor Hansen

Motivational speaker and co-author of Chicken Soup for the Soul

The best decision that I ever made after my painful divorce was to keep my heart open to the idea that I could still find my true love in this lifetime. I started by writing a list of 267 ideals that I desired in a marriage and marital partner, if I were ever to marry again. I wanted someone who could share my values, spiritual beliefs, ambition, desire, drive, hopes, and big goals for the future. I wrote that we needed to have absolute love for each other and a mutual affinity for projects we undertook. I believe that clarity of thinking and spiritual alignment with God creates the space for dreams and goals to manifest. Once created, then you need to be awake and aware when the answered prayers show up on your path.

My answer presented at an Author 101 conference. From the stage, I saw in the audience a vision of loveliness, charisma, style, and perfection in motion. I asked and discovered the woman I couldn’t take my eyes off was divorced. Fortuitously, in the evening VIP reception where I was surrounded by people who were barraging me with questions. I noticed from across the room, someone suddenly spilled red wine on this glorious woman’s white slacks. Opportunity presented itself. I responded. I broke from my group of fans and rushed to her rescue. I promised that I knew the secret doorway to the kitchen and the Club Soda to save her stained slacks. I took her hand and rushed us out of the questioning throngs, and once the club soda was procured, I was able to chat a little bit with her to find out more about her. We had instant camaraderie and after a few minutes of chatting, I knew there was something very special about this woman, and our encounter. Even her name, Crystal, seemed like the perfect fit.

I gently invited Crystal to dine at a nice restaurant in the in Hollywood neighborhood, and she admitted she was starving, as was I. When we arrived at the restaurant, the line to get in was long and a hundred dollar bill would not gain entry, I felt assured. I approached the maître d’ smiling. He looked at her, saw her radiant undeniable glow and said to me: “Who is she?” I jokingly said: “She is the Queen of Denmark.” He said, “No way, really?” Oh my gosh, she is! And who are you?” I know as a lifelong sales trainer to answer a question with a question and said playfully, “Who travels with the Queen?” “Oh my, you’re the King! Wait right here one second and we’ll get you the perfect table.”  I glanced at Crystal who had a huge smile on her face. She whispered, “I think it’s too late to too tell him you were kidding.” After a couple of hours of extraordinary conversation and a lovely dinner, it felt like we had known each other forever.

Throughout our courtship, I would have to pinch myself because it really seemed as though my dreams had truly been fulfilled. I asked her repeatedly to marry me because she always said “Yes!” and I never got tired of hearing that answer!

Eight years later we are happily married, beyond what either of us ever imagined could have happened. It is said there is a level beyond Soul Mates, called Twin Flames in which when two people come together, like flames from two candles when they’re joined, they rise together as one flame to exponentially higher levels. Crystal is my Twin Flame and I am hers.

After almost giving up on love after my bitter divorce, the decision I made to find the courage to continue to believe in my dreams and goals, and in the divine power that orchestrates them into reality is the best decision I have ever or will ever make.

Dr. Travis Stork

ER physician, best-selling author and host of the Emmy Award-winning series, The Doctors

I never intended to be a doctor and took a consulting job after I graduated as a math and economics major from Duke. I began volunteering at a free health clinic and it was there that I found my true calling. The best decision I ever made was to take a leap of faith and go back to medical school. I took the prerequisite classes needed at night while continuing to work. I still remember, like it was yesterday, shedding tears of joy as I sat on my front porch reading my medical school acceptance letter. My career in medicine has given my life purpose and helping people live the healthiest life possible has become my true passion. 

Related:  A Guide for Making Tough Decisions

This article originally appeared in the November 2016 issue of SUCCESS magazine .

Jamie Thompson

Jamie Thompson is a freelance writer based in Dallas.

5473 Blair Road, Suite 100 PMB 30053 Dallas, TX 75231

Copyright © 2024 SUCCESS Magazine. All rights reserved.

• Relationships

What’s the Best Decision You Ever Made?

Your answer will likely depend on how old you currently are..

Posted July 23, 2018

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Wherever you are in your life today, when you think about what is important to your current happiness , what are the things that pop up at the top of the list? Developmentally, we tend to break our travels through adulthood into 5 discrete segments:

• Emerging Adulthood – when we begin trying to figure out who we are and where we are headed in life.
• Young Adulthood – that period when we are old enough to know how little we actually do know about life and still too young to fully recognize and handle all of the responsibilities that come with adulthood. We know that we need a job, stability, and to begin thinking about how we’re going to get there.
• Adulthood – these are those years when we begin to actually “look like” the adult in the room. Ideally, we have found a way to make a steady living, we have created the type of family that we believe we want, and we have begun to care more about being a part of the community and are likely worrying about raising children in a world that seems to be spinning out of control in ways that we might have once thought were “kinda’ cool,” but now perceive as “kinda’ scary.”
• Middle Adulthood – this is what most of us still probably think of as “the parents’ generation,” even if we’ve hit the “Big 4-0,” ourselves. Midlife is the “next act” to old age’s “third act.” This is when we begin to recognize that our lives really are going to be a finite product of our choices and behaviors over the years. In midlife, you realize that there may not be a “do over,” but that doesn’t mean that you are “done.”
• Older Adulthood – some consider these the “golden years,” or “the prime of life,” or use some other euphemism for the years from the late 60s to the end of life, but if we’re facing poverty, unaffordable medical needs, or food insecurity, these are as far from “golden” as anything could be. This is the time when older adults will take stock of their lives and, whether they consciously do it or not, assess their lifetime of choices and decisions to see if the outcome was what they expected or felt they deserved.

When is a Woman Happy She’s Made Up Her Mind?

In a recent research study, over 400 adult women were asked to share what they consider had been the “best decision” of their lives. The responses were reviewed and coded and it turns out that the “Big Decisions” of adulthood can pretty much be divided into 10 categories -- and here they are in order of frequency:

• Self-Development
• Pursuing an Education
• Motherhood (Choosing to become one or choosing not to)
• Career Development or Changes
• Beginning Romantic Relationship
• Ending Romantic Relationships
• Spiritual Development
• Geographical Relocation
• Family Relationships
• Social - Friendships

The percentage of women whose best decisions landed within a specific area varied across the lifespan. And not necessarily in ways that we might expect. This gives us insight into perhaps what we value in life and reflects what matters most as we age.

Finding Yourself is Still a Sought After Goal

For women up through their forties, decisions related to self-development were the most frequently noted. A third of the women in their twenties focused on this area; 26% of those in their 30s; and 17% of those in their 40s. Decisions made included such things as gaining stronger confidence , deciding to be less passive, refusing to let others make their choices for them, and so on. Education decisions were the most frequently mentioned decision for women in their 50s (18%) and their 60s (21%). These women were on the leading edge of women gaining more open access to higher education and the women’s rights movement was a part of their early cultural landscape. A greater percentage of women in this age group divorced without the same social stigma as the prior generation and also received cultural support for making career and lifestyle choices that were no longer dictated by their gender roles. It makes sense that education stands out as the key decision that helped them work towards their greatest potential.

Who’s Most Grateful they Broke Off a Relationship?

For women in their 70s, the number one decision determined as the “best decision” made by the largest number (33%) was Ending a Romantic Relationship. What this suggests is that for women in that age cohort, there was probably more opposition to ending marriages than there was in younger generations. It makes sense that a difficult and highly significant life choice would continue to hold – or even gain – value over time.

Motherhood: To Be or Not to Be a Mother?

Another pattern that emerged was the appearance of motherhood in the top of the lists for women in their 30s through the 60s. The majority of women noted that having children was their best decision, while a handful described their decision to NOT begin a family as their best decision. This is not a surprising finding, of course. However, it is might be interesting to know that the age groups most likely to count career choices as their best decision were those in their 30s, 40s, and those in their 60s. This might reflect a woman’s need to build a strong financial foundation in her most active career years and then to recognize in the 60s that good past financial choices make a significant different as older adulthood and finite economic resources become realities.

Is 50 the new 30?

Regarding significant romantic relationships, we might expect the beginning of relationships to show up at the top of the younger age cohorts, but it was halfway down the list for women in the forties and younger. Among the women in their 50s, it tied for the #2 most frequently noted decision along with motherhood and self-development. Overall, women in their 50s presented the greatest variety in the list of the top decisions made – and perhaps the old saying that “50 is the new 30” is true when it comes to diversity among individuals.

How to Make the Best Decision of your Life

Regardless of where you are in your life, you are going to be facing many opportunities to make decisions that may matter more later than they do at the moment. And know that any decision you make is going to be the “best” that you can at any given moment. To help you feel more in charge of your decision-making , here are some basic suggestions to guide you:

• Clearly assess exactly what your options are at the moment
• Determine if there really is a choice
• List the “pros and cons” of the options that you are most likely to take
• Make the choice that makes the most sense at that moment
• Accept that you have made the best decision that you possibly could at this time

Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D. , is a licensed counselor and professor at Northern Illinois University.

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Sticking up for yourself is no easy task. But there are concrete skills you can use to hone your assertiveness and advocate for yourself.

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I asked hundreds of people about their biggest life decisions. Here’s what I learned

Senior Lecturer in Marketing, University of Technology Sydney

Disclosure statement

Adrian R. Camilleri does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organization that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

University of Technology Sydney provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation AU.

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You make decisions all the time. Most are small. However, some are really big : they have ramifications for years or even decades. In your final moments, you might well think back on these decisions — and some you may regret.

Part of what makes big decisions so significant is how rare they are. You don’t get an opportunity to learn from your mistakes. If you want to make big decisions you won’t regret, it’s important you learn from others who have been there before.

There is a good deal of existing research into what people regret in their lives. In my current project, I decided to approach the problem from the other end and ask people about their life’s biggest decisions.

What are life’s biggest decisions?

I have spent most of my career studying what you might call small decisions: what product to buy , which portfolio to invest in , and who to hire . But none of this research was very helpful when, a few years ago, I found myself having to make some big life decisions.

To better understand what life’s biggest decisions are, I recruited 657 Americans aged between 20 and 80 years old to tell me about the ten biggest decisions in their lives so far.

Each decision was classified into one of nine categories and 58 subcategories. At the end of the survey, respondents ranked the ten decisions from biggest to smallest. You can take the survey yourself here . (If you do, your answers may help develop my research further.)

The following chart shows each of the 58 decision subcategories in terms of how often it was mentioned (along the horizontal axis) and how big the decision was considered in retrospect (along the vertical axis).

In the upper right of the chart we see decisions that are both very significant and very common. Getting married and having a child stand out clearly here.

Other fairly common big life decisions include starting a new job and pursuing a degree. Less common, but among the highest ranked life decisions, include ending a life – such as that of an unborn child or a dying parent – and engaging in self-harm.

Of course, the results depend on who you ask. Men in their 70s have different answers than women in their 30s. To explore this data more deeply, I’ve built a tool that allows you to filter these results down to specific types of respondents.

Read more: How to help take control of your brain and make better decisions

What are life’s biggest regrets?

Much can also be learned about how to make good life decisions by asking people what their biggest regrets are. Regret is a negative emotion you feel when reflecting on past decisions and wishing you had done something differently.

In 2012, Australian caregiver Bronnie Ware wrote a book about her experiences in palliative care. There were five regrets that dying people told her about most often:

• I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
• I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
• I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
• I wish I’d stayed in touch with my friends
• I wish I had let myself be happier.

This anecdotal evidence has received support from more rigorous academic research. For example, a 2011 study asked a nationally representative sample of 270 Americans to describe one significant life regret. The six most commonly reported regrets involved romance (19.3%), family (16.9%), education (14.0%), career (13.8%), finance (9.9%), and parenting (9.0%).

Although lost loves and unfulfilling relationships were the most common regrets, there was an interesting gender difference. For women, regrets about love (romance/family) were more common than regrets about work (career/education), while the reverse was true for men.

What causes regret?

Several factors increase the chances you will feel regret.

In the long run it is inaction — deciding not to pursue something — that generates more regret . This is particularly true for males, especially when it comes to romantic relationships . If only I had asked her out, we might now be happily married.

Poor decisions produce greater regret when it is harder to justify those decisions in retrospect. I really value my friends and family so why did I leave them all behind to take up that overseas job?

Given that we are social beings, poor decisions in domains relevant to our sense of social belonging — such as romantic and family contexts — are more often regretted . Why did I break up my family by having a fling?

Regrets tend to be strongest for lost opportunities : that is, when undesirable outcomes that could have been prevented in the past can no longer be affected. I could have had a better relationship with my daughter if I had been there more often when she was growing up.

The most enduring regrets in life result from decisions that move you further from the ideal person that you want to be . I wanted to be a role model but I couldn’t put the wine bottle down.

Making big life decisions without regrets

These findings provide valuable lessons for those with big life decisions ahead, which is nearly everyone. You’re likely to have to keep making big decisions over the whole course of your life.

The most important decisions in life relate to family and friends. Spend the time getting these decisions right and then don’t let other distractions — particularly those at work — undermine these relationships.

Seize opportunities. You can apologise or change course later but you can’t time travel. Your education and experience can never be lost.

Read more: Running the risk: why experience matters when making decisions

Avoid making decisions that violate your personal values and move you away from your aspirational self. If you have good justifications for a decision now, no matter what happens, you’ll at least not regret it later.

I continue to ask people to tell me about their biggest life decisions. It’s a great way to learn about someone. Once I have collected enough stories, I hope to write a book so that we can all learn from the collective wisdom of those who have been there before.

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Essays About Life-changing Experiences: 5 Examples

Discover our guide for writing essays about life-changing experiences that combine three different elements: narrative, description, and self-reflection. 

Each of us has gone through life-changing experiences that shaped us into the individuals we are today. Because of how powerful they are, these events make for fascinating topics in writing. This subject doesn’t only let us tell our life stories, and it also pushes us to evaluate our behavior and reflect on why an incident happened.

Attract your readers by creating an excellent introduction and choosing a unique or exciting encounter. Paint a picture of the events that describe your experience vividly and finish with a strong conclusion.

5 Essay Examples

1. long essay on experience that changed my life by prasanna, 2. life-changing events: personal experience by anonymous on studycorgi.com, 3. my example of a life-changing experience by anonymous on gradesfixer.com, 4. life-changing experience: death essay by writer annie, 5. a life-changing experience during the holiday season by anonymous on studymoose.com, 1. life-changing experience: defined, 2. the experience that changed my life, 3. life-changing events and how they impact lives, 4. everyday events that change a person’s life, 5. the person who change my life, 6. books or movies that changed my life, 7. a life-changing quote.

“Experiences can be good and sometimes terrible that results in a positive or negative impact on one’s life. Life is full of many unexpected challenges and unknown turning points that will come along any time. People must learn and grow from every experience that they go through in life rather than losing yourself.”

In this essay, Prasanna discusses her father’s death as her most challenging life-changing experience. She was cheerful, immature, and carefree when her father was still alive. However, when her father left, she became the decision-maker of their family because her mother was unable to.

Prasanna mentions that she lost not only a father but also a friend, motivator, and mentor. That sad and unexpected experience turned her into an introverted, mature, and responsible head of the family. Ultimately, she thanks her father for making her a better person, and because of the devastating incident, she realizes who she can trust and how she should handle the real world. You might also be interested in these essays about choice .

“In life, certain experiences present challenges that change the way people relate to themselves and their families. Certain life events mark life-changing moments that alter lives either positively or negatively. It matters how people handle their relationships at such critical moments.”

This essay contains two life events that helped the author become a better person. These events taught them to trust and appreciate people, be responsible, and value family. The first event is when their best friend passes away, leading to stress, loss of appetite, and depression. The second circumstance happened when the author postponed their studies because they were afraid to grow up and be accountable for their decisions and actions.

The writer’s family showed them love, support, and understanding through these events. These events changed their behavior, attitude, and perspective on life and guided them to strengthen family relationships.

For help picking your next essay topic, check out our 20 engaging essay topics about family .

“I thought it was awkward because he looked and acted very professional. In that moment I thought to myself, ‘this person is going to have a great impact in my life!’. I was very curious to meet him and get a chance to show him my personality.”

This essay proves that you should always believe in yourself and not be afraid to try something new. The author recalls when they had many problems and met an extraordinary person who changed their life. 

When they were in sixth grade, the writer had life issues that caused them to be anxious about any future endeavor. The author then says they don’t usually open up to teachers because they fear their reactions. Then they met Mr. Salazar, a mentor who respects and values them, and the writer considers him their best friend.

“When the funeral was over and he was laid to rest, I had a feeling I can’t even describe. It was almost an empty feeling. I knew I had lost someone that could never be replaced.”

Annie never thought that she’d go through a life-changing experience until the sudden death of her father. Her thoughts and feelings are all over the place, and she has many unanswered questions. She says that although she will never wish for anyone to experience the same. However, her father’s passing improved her life in some ways.

Her mother remarried and introduced a new father figure, who was very kind to her. Living with her stepdad allowed her to explore and do things she thought she couldn’t. Annie still mourns the loss of her birth father, but she is also grateful to have a stepdad she can lean on. She gradually accepts that she can’t bring her birth father back.

“This story as a whole has really changed me and made me an even better person in life, I’m so thankful that this happened to me because now I have a greater appreciation for the little things in life.”

The essay shows how a simple interaction on a cold day in December can completely change a person’s view on life. It starts with the writer being asked a small favor of an older man with Alzheimer’s disease to help him find his car. This experience teaches the writer to be more observant and appreciative of the things they have. The author was inspired to spend more time with loved ones, especially their grandfather, who also has Alzheimer’s disease, as they learned never to take anything for granted.

7 Prompts for Essays About Life-changing Experiences

Everyone has their definition of a life-changing experience. But in general, it is an event or series of events profoundly altering a person’s thinking, feelings, and behavior. Use this prompt to explain your understanding of the topic and discuss how a simple action, decision, or encounter can change someone’s life. You might also be interested in these essays about yourself .

For this prompt, choose a specific memory that made you re-evaluate your views, values, and morals. Then, discuss the impact of this event on your life. For example, you can discuss losing a loved one, moving to another country, or starting a new school. Your conclusion must contain the main lessons you learned from the experience and how it can help the readers.

Various positive and negative life-changing experiences happen anytime and anywhere. Sometimes, you don’t notice them until they substantially disturb your everyday life. 

To begin your essay, interview people and ask about a momentous event that happened to them and how it influenced their way of living. Then, pick the most potent life-changing experience shared. Talk about what you’d do if you were in the same situation.

Some life-changing events include common things such as marriage, parenthood, divorce, job loss, and death. Research and discuss the most common experiences that transform a person’s life. Include real-life situations and any personal encounters for an intriguing essay.

It’s normal to meet other people, but connecting with someone who will significantly impact your life is a blessing. Use this prompt to discuss that particular person, such as a parent, close friend, or romantic partner. Share who they are and how you met them, and discuss what they did or said that made a big difference in your life. 

Movies like “The Truman Show” help change your viewpoint in life. They open our minds and provide ideas for dealing with our struggles. Share how you reached an epiphany by reading a book or watching a movie. Include if it’s because of a particular dialogue, character action, or scenes you can relate to.

While others use inspirational quotes for comfort and to avoid negative thinking, some find a quote that gives them the courage to make drastic changes to better their lives. For this prompt, search for well-known personalities who discovered a quote that motivated them to turn their life around.  Essay Tip: When editing for grammar, we also recommend spending time and effort to improve the readability score of your essay before publishing or submitting it.

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• Mid-Career Professionals #8a75b3
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• Young Professionals #ff8300

What Are The Top Five Best Decisions You Ever Made? Alex Varova

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The decisions I describe here changed my life and defined who I am today. Let me tell you how it all happened.

1. Going for my childhood dream

At the age of 10, I knew exactly what I want to do in the future. I had a dream to go to South Korea and achieve success there. It may sound strange to you, but it was a perfectly natural decision to me at the time.

I was born in Vladivostok, a small town in the Russia’s Far East. When I was 10, my mother started working at the Korean Consulate and my world changed at once. It was a year of 1991, the time of collapse of the Soviet Union, and this new foreign land that my mother “brought home” was like a ray of light. I was fascinated with everything this magical foreign land had to offer: music, language, culture, people, food, etc. So, I made a decision to do everything I could to realise my dream.

So, I started learning Korean when I was 15 years old, by taking language classes at the local cultural center, chose to major in Korean studies at the Russian university, and packed my bags and left for a foreign land all by myself at the age of 18.

2. Leaving my dream land

My life-changing journey in Korea started in Changwon, a small town in the South of Korea. I came as an exchange student after receiving a scholarship to study at the Changwon National University.

It was a magical time! I was finally living in a country I dreamt of for so long.

So, I was working hard. My Korean language skills and knowledge of Korea were growing day by day. I would spend hours after classes memorising new words, practicing speeches, reading Korean news, training myself to speak a business language. At one point, I was even asked by the Changwon University administration to be a Russian-Korean interpreter during Dean’s official visit to Russia. And even though I was unsure of what I wanted to do professionally, I was fascinated by the idea of providing value in bringing Russian and Korean businesses together.

The Donghwan Industrial Corporation, a producer of air conditioning systems for vehicles that provided my scholarship, planned a different future for me. After two years of studies, the company ended my scholarship and offered me to join the corporation as a secretary.

I was devastated. I did not have time to prepare my back up plan and going back home to Vladivostok was not even an option as I had come so far already.

And so I decided to give it a chance. I accepted the offer.

I would come to office before anyone else, dust off the glassy top executive floor and prepare green tea in time for the executives’ start of the day.

I hated it.

It was not how I pictured my success and I definitely did not see myself working as a secretary. I saw zero value in what I was doing and most importantly I was not learning anything, except mastering the art of serving green tea.

So, I made one of the toughest decisions in my life. I decided to go back home to Vladivostok and start over.

3. Not giving up and preserving

From my experience, I knew that Korea is a highly competitive job market, where the majority of young people pursue higher studies. Fluency in Korean is a must, unless you are an engineer or a highly experienced professional. Plus, most of the recruitment is done through introductions. So, I knew that if I wanted to achieve success on my own terms, I had to build my reputation and network by attending the top university in Korea. And so, the tough application period began.

I have to admit, there were times when I doubted my decision to leave Changwon. There were moments when I doubted myself too and whether I was at all worthy to win the top scholarship. “Am I aiming too high?” - I would ask myself. But I was slowly making one step at a time, moving towards my goal, staying focused, and working hard each day.

I was in heaven when I received the news that I gained a scholarship to study at one of Korea’s top universities, Yonsei, located in Seoul.

4. Challenging myself further

Upon graduation with a Master’s degree in business, I was offered to join Samsung in Seoul, the most desired company to work at for many Koreans and also for me at the time, as I craved for an opportunity to bring value to Korean and Russian businesses.

I spent seven years at Samsung helping identify business opportunities for Korean businesses, developing market entry strategies and executing multi-million dollar projects. I was playing a role of a bridge connecting businesses thanks to my fluency in Korean language, negotiation skills and business acumen.

However, there came a time when I felt that I was living in my comfort zone, whilst I craved to grow and challenge myself on the global arena. I wanted to surround myself with like-minded people to inspire and get inspired, to reflect on my achievements so far and decide where I see myself in the future.

So, I made a decision to do an MBA at the top school in the world, INSEAD.

This experience changed my life forever: I learnt from the best and I made friends from all over the world, each with a unique story and experience. I was now among many others, who had difficulty answering a simple question “Where are you from?”, which I can answer only with a huge BUT. “I am Russian, BUT I lived in South Korea for over a decade”.

I knew that, thanks to INSEAD, I have got the best support no matter where my life and my career takes me.

5. Redefining my future yet again

INSEAD not only lifted me to the global business arena, but also opened my mind to entrepreneurship. A lot of my classmates started businesses after graduation or shortly after.

I did have a few ideas as well: a boutique hotel in an exotic location, a restaurant featuring signature family recipes, and even an UBER-type of dog care (I had a tough time finding one for my dog, Rex, when I lived in France and Switzerland). But none of them really clicked.

It was not until some years ago, when my husband had designed a jewelry piece for my birthday. It was an old Spanish coin, found at the bottom of the Caribbean Sea, encased in gold on a cable chain. Not only did I love the design myself, but I also received a lot of compliments, as the coin was rare and every time I would tell the story of where it originated from.

It was an “AHA!” moment, when I decided to start building our personal brand and share all the learnings and philosophy I learnt in Asia through our unique jewelry designs.

As I am writing this text, we are finalising the designs and starting to share our stories about our life in Asia and our entrepreneurial journey to motivate and inspire others in their quest to realise their full potential.

I guess …  I will end this article by saying “to be continued”. We will be sharing every step and lesson of our journey, as we move forward.

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Decision Making in Life

List of Essays

Personal decision making, defining our identities, charting life trajectories, embracing accountability, strategic planning, problem solving, risk management, the decision-making process.

• The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Decision Makingt

Self-Regulation

Social awareness, conflict resolution.

Life is a series of decisions, some small and seemingly inconsequential, others monumental and life-altering. Whether we're selecting a career path, choosing a life partner, or merely deciding on dinner, each choice shapes our life's trajectory. In this "decision making in life" essay, we'll delve into the importance of making informed decisions, understanding our identities, and the role of emotional intelligence in shaping our choices.

Every person stands at the crossroads of multiple decisions daily. The essence of personal decision-making lies in understanding who we are, what drives us, and what we value. When we possess this knowledge, we can align our choices with our intrinsic motivations, ensuring that our decisions are authentic and fulfilling.

Our identities are a fusion of our experiences, beliefs, values, and aspirations. Every decision we make, whether consciously or subconsciously, is rooted in these facets of our identity. Recognizing the core elements of our identity empowers us to make choices that resonate with our true selves, leading to a more fulfilled life.

The decisions we make are like waypoints on a map, guiding us on our life's journey. With each choice, we determine our direction, sometimes altering our path dramatically or subtly refining our route. By making informed, deliberate choices, we can ensure that our trajectory aligns with our goals and aspirations.

Decision-making is an act of responsibility. Recognizing the importance of decision-making in life means accepting that our choices have consequences. Embracing this accountability can empower us to make more informed, thoughtful decisions, considering not only immediate implications but long-term effects as well.

Strategic planning involves looking ahead, setting goals, and determining the best course of action to achieve those objectives. By employing strategic thinking in our personal lives, we can anticipate potential challenges, optimize opportunities, and navigate the intricate maze of life with foresight and purpose.

Every decision stems from a desire to solve a problem or seize an opportunity. Effective problem-solving skills enable us to dissect issues, identify potential solutions, and select the optimal course of action.

Life is unpredictable. While we can't foresee every outcome, we can manage potential risks. Assessing the pros and cons of a decision and anticipating potential pitfalls is essential. Risk management doesn't mean avoiding risks but making informed decisions, understanding potential outcomes, and being prepared for them.

Making a decision is a systematic process, and understanding its stages can help us make more informed choices.

• Identifying the Problem or Opportunity : Recognize the need for a decision. Is there a problem to solve or an opportunity to exploit?
• Gathering Information : Equip yourself with relevant facts, data, and insights. The better informed you are, the clearer your perspective will be.
• Evaluating Options : Weigh the pros and cons of each potential decision. Consider the implications of each choice and how they align with your values and goals.
• Making the Decision : After thorough evaluation, choose the best course of action.
• Reflecting and Learning : After a decision is made, assess the outcome. Were the results as expected? What lessons can be drawn for future decisions?

The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Decision Making

Emotional intelligence (EI) plays a pivotal role in shaping our decisions. Possessing a high EI means understanding and managing our emotions and recognizing those of others, facilitating better interpersonal interactions and informed personal decisions.

Individuals with a high EI can regulate their emotions, preventing them from making impulsive decisions. This self-regulation ensures that choices are based on logic and reason rather than fleeting emotions.

Understanding others' emotions and perspectives aids in making decisions that consider broader implications, especially when multiple parties are involved.

When faced with conflicting views or choices, those with high EI can navigate the situation, find common ground, and arrive at mutually beneficial decisions.

The "importance of decision making in life essay" cannot be understated, for it offers a window into the intricate web of choices that shape our existence. Through this essay on the importance of decision making, we comprehend the pivotal role these choices play in defining who we are and the paths we tread. The "importance of decision making in our life essay" lies not just in highlighting the weight of every choice, but in emphasizing the need for introspection, foresight, and emotional intelligence. To truly grasp the essence of this "essay on importance of decision making in life," one must reflect on one’s own life choices and their ramifications. For, as we come to understand the importance of decision making in our life essay, we learn to appreciate the delicate balance of logic, emotion, strategy, and instinct that drives each decision, large or small.

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Eight brilliant student essays on what matters most in life.

Read winning essays from our spring 2019 student writing contest.

For the spring 2019 student writing contest, we invited students to read the YES! article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill. Like the author, students interviewed someone significantly older than them about the three things that matter most in life. Students then wrote about what they learned, and about how their interviewees’ answers compare to their own top priorities.

The Winners

From the hundreds of essays written, these eight were chosen as winners. Be sure to read the author’s response to the essay winners and the literary gems that caught our eye. Plus, we share an essay from teacher Charles Sanderson, who also responded to the writing prompt.

Middle School Winner: Rory Leyva

High School Winner:  Praethong Klomsum

University Winner:  Emily Greenbaum

Powerful Voice Winner: Amanda Schwaben

Powerful Voice Winner: Antonia Mills

Powerful Voice Winner:  Isaac Ziemba

Powerful Voice Winner: Lily Hersch

“Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner: Jonas Buckner

From the Author: Response to Student Winners

Literary Gems

From A Teacher: Charles Sanderson

From the Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Middle School Winner

Village Home Education Resource Center, Portland, Ore.

The Lessons Of Mortality 

“As I’ve aged, things that are more personal to me have become somewhat less important. Perhaps I’ve become less self-centered with the awareness of mortality, how short one person’s life is.” This is how my 72-year-old grandma believes her values have changed over the course of her life. Even though I am only 12 years old, I know my life won’t last forever, and someday I, too, will reflect on my past decisions. We were all born to exist and eventually die, so we have evolved to value things in the context of mortality.

One of the ways I feel most alive is when I play roller derby. I started playing for the Rose City Rollers Juniors two years ago, and this year, I made the Rosebud All-Stars travel team. Roller derby is a fast-paced, full-contact sport. The physicality and intense training make me feel in control of and present in my body.

My roller derby team is like a second family to me. Adolescence is complicated. We understand each other in ways no one else can. I love my friends more than I love almost anything else. My family would have been higher on my list a few years ago, but as I’ve aged it has been important to make my own social connections.

Music led me to roller derby.  I started out jam skating at the roller rink. Jam skating is all about feeling the music. It integrates gymnastics, breakdancing, figure skating, and modern dance with R & B and hip hop music. When I was younger, I once lay down in the DJ booth at the roller rink and was lulled to sleep by the drawl of wheels rolling in rhythm and people talking about the things they came there to escape. Sometimes, I go up on the roof of my house at night to listen to music and feel the wind rustle my hair. These unique sensations make me feel safe like nothing else ever has.

My grandma tells me, “Being close with family and friends is the most important thing because I haven’t

always had that.” When my grandma was two years old, her father died. Her mother became depressed and moved around a lot, which made it hard for my grandma to make friends. Once my grandma went to college, she made lots of friends. She met my grandfather, Joaquin Leyva when she was working as a park ranger and he was a surfer. They bought two acres of land on the edge of a redwood forest and had a son and a daughter. My grandma created a stable family that was missing throughout her early life.

My grandma is motivated to maintain good health so she can be there for her family. I can relate because I have to be fit and strong for my team. Since she lost my grandfather to cancer, she realizes how lucky she is to have a functional body and no life-threatening illnesses. My grandma tries to eat well and exercise, but she still struggles with depression. Over time, she has learned that reaching out to others is essential to her emotional wellbeing.  

Caring for the earth is also a priority for my grandma I’ve been lucky to learn from my grandma. She’s taught me how to hunt for fossils in the desert and find shells on the beach. Although my grandma grew up with no access to the wilderness, she admired the green open areas of urban cemeteries. In college, she studied geology and hiked in the High Sierras. For years, she’s been an advocate for conserving wildlife habitat and open spaces.

Our priorities may seem different, but it all comes down to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and need to be loved. Like Nancy Hill says in the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” it can be hard to decipher what is important in life. I believe that the constant search for satisfaction and meaning is the only thing everyone has in common. We all want to know what matters, and we walk around this confusing world trying to find it. The lessons I’ve learned from my grandma about forging connections, caring for my body, and getting out in the world inspire me to live my life my way before it’s gone.

Rory Leyva is a seventh-grader from Portland, Oregon. Rory skates for the Rosebuds All-Stars roller derby team. She loves listening to music and hanging out with her friends.

High School Winner

Praethong Klomsum

  Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

Time Only Moves Forward

Sandra Hernandez gazed at the tiny house while her mother’s gentle hands caressed her shoulders. It wasn’t much, especially for a family of five. This was 1960, she was 17, and her family had just moved to Culver City.

Flash forward to 2019. Sandra sits in a rocking chair, knitting a blanket for her latest grandchild, in the same living room. Sandra remembers working hard to feed her eight children. She took many different jobs before settling behind the cash register at a Japanese restaurant called Magos. “It was a struggle, and my husband Augustine, was planning to join the military at that time, too.”

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author Nancy Hill states that one of the most important things is “…connecting with others in general, but in particular with those who have lived long lives.” Sandra feels similarly. It’s been hard for Sandra to keep in contact with her family, which leaves her downhearted some days. “It’s important to maintain that connection you have with your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

Despite her age, Sandra is a daring woman. Taking risks is important to her, and she’ll try anything—from skydiving to hiking. Sandra has some regrets from the past, but nowadays, she doesn’t wonder about the “would have, could have, should haves.” She just goes for it with a smile.

Sandra thought harder about her last important thing, the blue and green blanket now finished and covering

her lap. “I’ve definitely lived a longer life than most, and maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I hope I can see the day my great-grandchildren are born.” She’s laughing, but her eyes look beyond what’s in front of her. Maybe she is reminiscing about the day she held her son for the first time or thinking of her grandchildren becoming parents. I thank her for her time and she waves it off, offering me a styrofoam cup of lemonade before I head for the bus station.

The bus is sparsely filled. A voice in my head reminds me to finish my 10-page history research paper before spring break. I take a window seat and pull out my phone and earbuds. My playlist is already on shuffle, and I push away thoughts of that dreaded paper. Music has been a constant in my life—from singing my lungs out in kindergarten to Barbie’s “I Need To Know,” to jamming out to Taylor Swift’s “Blank Space” in sixth grade, to BTS’s “Intro: Never Mind” comforting me when I’m at my lowest. Music is my magic shop, a place where I can trade away my fears for calm.

I’ve always been afraid of doing something wrong—not finishing my homework or getting a C when I can do better. When I was 8, I wanted to be like the big kids. As I got older, I realized that I had exchanged my childhood longing for the 48 pack of crayons for bigger problems, balancing grades, a social life, and mental stability—all at once. I’m going to get older whether I like it or not, so there’s no point forcing myself to grow up faster.  I’m learning to live in the moment.

The bus is approaching my apartment, where I know my comfy bed and a home-cooked meal from my mom are waiting. My mom is hard-working, confident, and very stubborn. I admire her strength of character. She always keeps me in line, even through my rebellious phases.

My best friend sends me a text—an update on how broken her laptop is. She is annoying. She says the stupidest things and loves to state the obvious. Despite this, she never fails to make me laugh until my cheeks feel numb. The rest of my friends are like that too—loud, talkative, and always brightening my day. Even friends I stopped talking to have a place in my heart. Recently, I’ve tried to reconnect with some of them. This interview was possible because a close friend from sixth grade offered to introduce me to Sandra, her grandmother.  

I’m decades younger than Sandra, so my view of what’s important isn’t as broad as hers, but we share similar values, with friends and family at the top. I have a feeling that when Sandra was my age, she used to love music, too. Maybe in a few decades, when I’m sitting in my rocking chair, drawing in my sketchbook, I’ll remember this article and think back fondly to the days when life was simple.

Praethong Klomsum is a tenth-grader at Santa Monica High School in Santa Monica, California.  Praethong has a strange affinity for rhyme games and is involved in her school’s dance team. She enjoys drawing and writing, hoping to impact people willing to listen to her thoughts and ideas.

University Winner

Emily Greenbaum

Kent State University, Kent, Ohio 

The Life-Long War

Every morning we open our eyes, ready for a new day. Some immediately turn to their phones and social media. Others work out or do yoga. For a certain person, a deep breath and the morning sun ground him. He hears the clink-clank of his wife cooking low sodium meat for breakfast—doctor’s orders! He sees that the other side of the bed is already made, the dogs are no longer in the room, and his clothes are set out nicely on the loveseat.

Today, though, this man wakes up to something different: faded cream walls and jello. This person, my hero, is Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James.

I pulled up my chair close to Roger’s vinyl recliner so I could hear him above the noise of the beeping dialysis machine. I noticed Roger would occasionally glance at his wife Susan with sparkly eyes when he would recall memories of the war or their grandkids. He looked at Susan like she walked on water.

Roger James served his country for thirty years. Now, he has enlisted in another type of war. He suffers from a rare blood cancer—the result of the wars he fought in. Roger has good and bad days. He says, “The good outweighs the bad, so I have to be grateful for what I have on those good days.”

When Roger retired, he never thought the effects of the war would reach him. The once shallow wrinkles upon his face become deeper, as he tells me, “It’s just cancer. Others are suffering from far worse. I know I’ll make it.”

Like Nancy Hill did in her article “Three Things that Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I asked Roger, “What are the three most important things to you?” James answered, “My wife Susan, my grandkids, and church.”

Roger and Susan served together in the Vietnam war. She was a nurse who treated his cuts and scrapes one day. I asked Roger why he chose Susan. He said, “Susan told me to look at her while she cleaned me up. ‘This may sting, but don’t be a baby.’ When I looked into her eyes, I felt like she was looking into my soul, and I didn’t want her to leave. She gave me this sense of home. Every day I wake up, she makes me feel the same way, and I fall in love with her all over again.”

Roger and Susan have two kids and four grandkids, with great-grandchildren on the way. He claims that his grandkids give him the youth that he feels slowly escaping from his body. This adoring grandfather is energized by coaching t-ball and playing evening card games with the grandkids.

The last thing on his list was church. His oldest daughter married a pastor. Together they founded a church. Roger said that the connection between his faith and family is important to him because it gave him a reason to want to live again. I learned from Roger that when you’re across the ocean, you tend to lose sight of why you are fighting. When Roger returned, he didn’t have the will to live. Most days were a struggle, adapting back into a society that lacked empathy for the injuries, pain, and psychological trauma carried by returning soldiers. Church changed that for Roger and gave him a sense of purpose.

When I began this project, my attitude was to just get the assignment done. I never thought I could view Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James as more than a role model, but he definitely changed my mind. It’s as if Roger magically lit a fire inside of me and showed me where one’s true passions should lie. I see our similarities and embrace our differences. We both value family and our own connections to home—his home being church and mine being where I can breathe the easiest.

Master Chief Petty Officer Roger James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me and that every once in a while, I should step back and stop to smell the roses. As we concluded the interview, amidst squeaky clogs and the stale smell of bleach and bedpans, I looked to Roger, his kind, tired eyes, and weathered skin, with a deeper sense of admiration, knowing that his values still run true, no matter what he faces.

Emily Greenbaum is a senior at Kent State University, graduating with a major in Conflict Management and minor in Geography. Emily hopes to use her major to facilitate better conversations, while she works in the Washington, D.C. area.  

Powerful Voice Winner

Amanda Schwaben

Wise Words From Winnie the Pooh

As I read through Nancy Hill’s article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I was comforted by the similar responses given by both children and older adults. The emphasis participants placed on family, social connections, and love was not only heartwarming but hopeful. While the messages in the article filled me with warmth, I felt a twinge of guilt building within me. As a twenty-one-year-old college student weeks from graduation, I honestly don’t think much about the most important things in life. But if I was asked, I would most likely say family, friendship, and love. As much as I hate to admit it, I often find myself obsessing over achieving a successful career and finding a way to “save the world.”

A few weeks ago, I was at my family home watching the new Winnie the Pooh movie Christopher Robin with my mom and younger sister. Well, I wasn’t really watching. I had my laptop in front of me, and I was aggressively typing up an assignment. Halfway through the movie, I realized I left my laptop charger in my car. I walked outside into the brisk March air. Instinctively, I looked up. The sky was perfectly clear, revealing a beautiful array of stars. When my twin sister and I were in high school, we would always take a moment to look up at the sparkling night sky before we came into the house after soccer practice.

I think that was the last time I stood in my driveway and gazed at the stars. I did not get the laptop charger from

my car; instead, I turned around and went back inside. I shut my laptop and watched the rest of the movie. My twin sister loves Winnie the Pooh. So much so that my parents got her a stuffed animal version of him for Christmas. While I thought he was adorable and a token of my childhood, I did not really understand her obsession. However, it was clear to me after watching the movie. Winnie the Pooh certainly had it figured out. He believed that the simple things in life were the most important: love, friendship, and having fun.

I thought about asking my mom right then what the three most important things were to her, but I decided not to. I just wanted to be in the moment. I didn’t want to be doing homework. It was a beautiful thing to just sit there and be present with my mom and sister.

I did ask her, though, a couple of weeks later. Her response was simple.  All she said was family, health, and happiness. When she told me this, I imagined Winnie the Pooh smiling. I think he would be proud of that answer.

I was not surprised by my mom’s reply. It suited her perfectly. I wonder if we relearn what is most important when we grow older—that the pressure to be successful subsides. Could it be that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world?

Amanda Schwaben is a graduating senior from Kent State University with a major in Applied Conflict Management. Amanda also has minors in Psychology and Interpersonal Communication. She hopes to further her education and focus on how museums not only preserve history but also promote peace.

Antonia Mills

Rachel Carson High School, Brooklyn, N.Y. 

Decoding The Butterfly

For a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it must first digest itself. The caterpillar, overwhelmed by accumulating tissue, splits its skin open to form its protective shell, the chrysalis, and later becomes the pretty butterfly we all know and love. There are approximately 20,000 species of butterflies, and just as every species is different, so is the life of every butterfly. No matter how long and hard a caterpillar has strived to become the colorful and vibrant butterfly that we marvel at on a warm spring day, it does not live a long life. A butterfly can live for a year, six months, two weeks, and even as little as twenty-four hours.

I have often wondered if butterflies live long enough to be blissful of blue skies. Do they take time to feast upon the sweet nectar they crave, midst their hustling life of pollinating pretty flowers? Do they ever take a lull in their itineraries, or are they always rushing towards completing their four-stage metamorphosis? Has anyone asked the butterfly, “Who are you?” instead of “What are you”? Or, How did you get here, on my windowsill?  How did you become ‘you’?

Humans are similar to butterflies. As a caterpillar

Suzanna Ruby/Getty Images

becomes a butterfly, a baby becomes an elder. As a butterfly soars through summer skies, an elder watches summer skies turn into cold winter nights and back toward summer skies yet again.  And as a butterfly flits slowly by the porch light, a passerby makes assumptions about the wrinkled, slow-moving elder, who is sturdier than he appears. These creatures are not seen for who they are—who they were—because people have “better things to do” or they are too busy to ask, “How are you”?

Our world can be a lonely place. Pressured by expectations, haunted by dreams, overpowered by weakness, and drowned out by lofty goals, we tend to forget ourselves—and others. Rather than hang onto the strands of our diminishing sanity, we might benefit from listening to our elders. Many elders have experienced setbacks in their young lives. Overcoming hardship and surviving to old age is wisdom that they carry.  We can learn from them—and can even make their day by taking the time to hear their stories.  

Nancy Hill, who wrote the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” was right: “We live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” I know a lot about my grandmother’s life, and it isn’t as serene as my own. My grandmother, Liza, who cooks every day, bakes bread on holidays for our neighbors, brings gifts to her doctor out of the kindness of her heart, and makes conversation with neighbors even though she is isn’t fluent in English—Russian is her first language—has struggled all her life. Her mother, Anna, a single parent, had tuberculosis, and even though she had an inviolable spirit, she was too frail to care for four children. She passed away when my grandmother was sixteen, so my grandmother and her siblings spent most of their childhood in an orphanage. My grandmother got married at nineteen to my grandfather, Pinhas. He was a man who loved her more than he loved himself and was a godsend to every person he met. Liza was—and still is—always quick to do what was best for others, even if that person treated her poorly. My grandmother has lived with physical pain all her life, yet she pushed herself to climb heights that she wasn’t ready for. Against all odds, she has lived to tell her story to people who are willing to listen. And I always am.

I asked my grandmother, “What are three things most important to you?” Her answer was one that I already expected: One, for everyone to live long healthy lives. Two, for you to graduate from college. Three, for you to always remember that I love you.

What may be basic to you means the world to my grandmother. She just wants what she never had the chance to experience: a healthy life, an education, and the chance to express love to the people she values. The three things that matter most to her may be so simple and ordinary to outsiders, but to her, it is so much more. And who could take that away?

Antonia Mills was born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and attends Rachel Carson High School.  Antonia enjoys creative activities, including writing, painting, reading, and baking. She hopes to pursue culinary arts professionally in the future. One of her favorite quotes is, “When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t.” -Emily S.P.  

  Powerful Voice Winner

   Isaac Ziemba

Odyssey Multiage Program, Bainbridge Island, Wash. 

This Former State Trooper Has His Priorities Straight: Family, Climate Change, and Integrity

I have a personal connection to people who served in the military and first responders. My uncle is a first responder on the island I live on, and my dad retired from the Navy. That was what made a man named Glen Tyrell, a state trooper for 25 years, 2 months and 9 days, my first choice to interview about what three things matter in life. In the YES! Magazine article “The Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” I learned that old and young people have a great deal in common. I know that’s true because Glen and I care about a lot of the same things.

For Glen, family is at the top of his list of important things. “My wife was, and is, always there for me. My daughters mean the world to me, too, but Penny is my partner,” Glen said. I can understand why Glen’s wife is so important to him. She’s family. Family will always be there for you.

Glen loves his family, and so do I with all my heart. My dad especially means the world to me. He is my top supporter and tells me that if I need help, just “say the word.” When we are fishing or crabbing, sometimes I

think, what if these times were erased from my memory? I wouldn’t be able to describe the horrible feeling that would rush through my mind, and I’m sure that Glen would feel the same about his wife.

My uncle once told me that the world is always going to change over time. It’s what the world has turned out to be that worries me. Both Glen and I are extremely concerned about climate change and the effect that rising temperatures have on animals and their habitats. We’re driving them to extinction. Some people might say, “So what? Animals don’t pay taxes or do any of the things we do.” What we are doing to them is like the Black Death times 100.

Glen is also frustrated by how much plastic we use and where it ends up. He would be shocked that an explorer recently dived to the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean—seven miles!— and discovered a plastic bag and candy wrappers. Glen told me that, unfortunately, his generation did the damage and my generation is here to fix it. We need to take better care of Earth because if we don’t, we, as a species, will have failed.

Both Glen and I care deeply for our families and the earth, but for our third important value, I chose education and Glen chose integrity. My education is super important to me because without it, I would be a blank slate. I wouldn’t know how to figure out problems. I wouldn’t be able to tell right from wrong. I wouldn’t understand the Bill of Rights. I would be stuck. Everyone should be able to go to school, no matter where they’re from or who they are.  It makes me angry and sad to think that some people, especially girls, get shot because they are trying to go to school. I understand how lucky I am.

Integrity is sacred to Glen—I could tell by the serious tone of Glen’s voice when he told me that integrity was the code he lived by as a former state trooper. He knew that he had the power to change a person’s life, and he was committed to not abusing that power.  When Glen put someone under arrest—and my uncle says the same—his judgment and integrity were paramount. “Either you’re right or you’re wrong.” You can’t judge a person by what you think, you can only judge a person from what you know.”

I learned many things about Glen and what’s important in life, but there is one thing that stands out—something Glen always does and does well. Glen helps people. He did it as a state trooper, and he does it in our school, where he works on construction projects. Glen told me that he believes that our most powerful tools are writing and listening to others. I think those tools are important, too, but I also believe there are other tools to help solve many of our problems and create a better future: to be compassionate, to create caring relationships, and to help others. Just like Glen Tyrell does each and every day.

Isaac Ziemba is in seventh grade at the Odyssey Multiage Program on a small island called Bainbridge near Seattle, Washington. Isaac’s favorite subject in school is history because he has always been interested in how the past affects the future. In his spare time, you can find Isaac hunting for crab with his Dad, looking for artifacts around his house with his metal detector, and having fun with his younger cousin, Conner.     

Lily Hersch

 The Crest Academy, Salida, Colo.

The Phone Call

Dear Grandpa,

In my short span of life—12 years so far—you’ve taught me a lot of important life lessons that I’ll always have with me. Some of the values I talk about in this writing I’ve learned from you.

Dedicated to my Gramps.

In the YES! Magazine article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age,” author and photographer Nancy Hill asked people to name the three things that mattered most to them. After reading the essay prompt for the article, I immediately knew who I wanted to interview: my grandpa Gil.      

My grandpa was born on January 25, 1942. He lived in a minuscule tenement in The Bronx with his mother,

father, and brother. His father wasn’t around much, and, when he was, he was reticent and would snap occasionally, revealing his constrained mental pain. My grandpa says this happened because my great grandfather did not have a father figure in his life. His mother was a classy, sharp lady who was the head secretary at a local police district station. My grandpa and his brother Larry did not care for each other. Gramps said he was very close to his mother, and Larry wasn’t. Perhaps Larry was envious for what he didn’t have.

Decades after little to no communication with his brother, my grandpa decided to spontaneously visit him in Florida, where he resided with his wife. Larry was taken aback at the sudden reappearance of his brother and told him to leave. Since then, the two brothers have not been in contact. My grandpa doesn’t even know if Larry is alive.         

My grandpa is now a retired lawyer, married to my wonderful grandma, and living in a pretty house with an ugly dog named BoBo.

So, what’s important to you, Gramps?

He paused a second, then replied, “Family, kindness, and empathy.”

“Family, because it’s my family. It’s important to stay connected with your family. My brother, father, and I never connected in the way I wished, and sometimes I contemplated what could’ve happened.  But you can’t change the past. So, that’s why family’s important to me.”

Family will always be on my “Top Three Most Important Things” list, too. I can’t imagine not having my older brother, Zeke, or my grandma in my life. I wonder how other kids feel about their families? How do kids trapped and separated from their families at the U.S.-Mexico border feel?  What about orphans? Too many questions, too few answers.

“Kindness, because growing up and not seeing a lot of kindness made me realize how important it is to have that in the world. Kindness makes the world go round.”

What is kindness? Helping my brother, Eli, who has Down syndrome, get ready in the morning? Telling people what they need to hear, rather than what they want to hear? Maybe, for now, I’ll put wisdom, not kindness, on my list.

“Empathy, because of all the killings and shootings [in this country.] We also need to care for people—people who are not living in as good circumstances as I have. Donald Trump and other people I’ve met have no empathy. Empathy is very important.”

Empathy is something I’ve felt my whole life. It’ll always be important to me like it is important to my grandpa. My grandpa shows his empathy when he works with disabled children. Once he took a disabled child to a Christina Aguilera concert because that child was too young to go by himself. The moments I feel the most empathy are when Eli gets those looks from people. Seeing Eli wonder why people stare at him like he’s a freak makes me sad, and annoyed that they have the audacity to stare.

After this 2 minute and 36-second phone call, my grandpa has helped me define what’s most important to me at this time in my life: family, wisdom, and empathy. Although these things are important now, I realize they can change and most likely will.

When I’m an old woman, I envision myself scrambling through a stack of storage boxes and finding this paper. Perhaps after reading words from my 12-year-old self, I’ll ask myself “What’s important to me?”

Lily Hersch is a sixth-grader at Crest Academy in Salida, Colorado. Lily is an avid indoorsman, finding joy in competitive spelling, art, and of course, writing. She does not like Swiss cheese.

  “Tell It Like It Is” Interview Winner

Jonas Buckner

KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory, Gaston, N.C.

Lessons My Nana Taught Me

I walked into the house. In the other room, I heard my cousin screaming at his game. There were a lot of Pioneer Woman dishes everywhere. The room had the television on max volume. The fan in the other room was on. I didn’t know it yet, but I was about to learn something powerful.

I was in my Nana’s house, and when I walked in, she said, “Hey Monkey Butt.”

I said, “Hey Nana.”

Before the interview, I was talking to her about what I was gonna interview her on. Also, I had asked her why I might have wanted to interview her, and she responded with, “Because you love me, and I love you too.”

Now, it was time to start the interview. The first

question I asked was the main and most important question ever: “What three things matter most to you and you only?”

She thought of it very thoughtfully and responded with, “My grandchildren, my children, and my health.”

Then, I said, “OK, can you please tell me more about your health?”

She responded with, “My health is bad right now. I have heart problems, blood sugar, and that’s about it.” When she said it, she looked at me and smiled because she loved me and was happy I chose her to interview.

I replied with, “K um, why is it important to you?”

She smiled and said, “Why is it…Why is my health important? Well, because I want to live a long time and see my grandchildren grow up.”

I was scared when she said that, but she still smiled. I was so happy, and then I said, “Has your health always been important to you.”

She responded with “Nah.”

Then, I asked, “Do you happen to have a story to help me understand your reasoning?”

She said, “No, not really.”

Now we were getting into the next set of questions. I said, “Remember how you said that your grandchildren matter to you? Can you please tell me why they matter to you?”

Then, she responded with, “So I can spend time with them, play with them, and everything.”

Next, I asked the same question I did before: “Have you always loved your grandchildren?” 

She responded with, “Yes, they have always been important to me.”

Then, the next two questions I asked she had no response to at all. She was very happy until I asked, “Why do your children matter most to you?”

She had a frown on and responded, “My daughter Tammy died a long time ago.”

Then, at this point, the other questions were answered the same as the other ones. When I left to go home I was thinking about how her answers were similar to mine. She said health, and I care about my health a lot, and I didn’t say, but I wanted to. She also didn’t have answers for the last two questions on each thing, and I was like that too.

The lesson I learned was that no matter what, always keep pushing because even though my aunt or my Nana’s daughter died, she kept on pushing and loving everyone. I also learned that everything should matter to us. Once again, I chose to interview my Nana because she matters to me, and I know when she was younger she had a lot of things happen to her, so I wanted to know what she would say. The point I’m trying to make is that be grateful for what you have and what you have done in life.

Jonas Buckner is a sixth-grader at KIPP: Gaston College Preparatory in Gaston, North Carolina. Jonas’ favorite activities are drawing, writing, math, piano, and playing AltSpace VR. He found his passion for writing in fourth grade when he wrote a quick autobiography. Jonas hopes to become a horror writer someday.

From The Author: Responses to Student Winners

Dear Emily, Isaac, Antonia, Rory, Praethong, Amanda, Lily, and Jonas,

Your thought-provoking essays sent my head spinning. The more I read, the more impressed I was with the depth of thought, beauty of expression, and originality. It left me wondering just how to capture all of my reactions in a single letter. After multiple false starts, I’ve landed on this: I will stick to the theme of three most important things.

The three things I found most inspirational about your essays:

You listened.

You connected.

We live in troubled times. Tensions mount between countries, cultures, genders, religious beliefs, and generations. If we fail to find a way to understand each other, to see similarities between us, the future will be fraught with increased hostility.

You all took critical steps toward connecting with someone who might not value the same things you do by asking a person who is generations older than you what matters to them. Then, you listened to their answers. You saw connections between what is important to them and what is important to you. Many of you noted similarities, others wondered if your own list of the three most important things would change as you go through life. You all saw the validity of the responses you received and looked for reasons why your interviewees have come to value what they have.

It is through these things—asking, listening, and connecting—that we can begin to bridge the differences in experiences and beliefs that are currently dividing us.

Individual observations

Each one of you made observations that all of us, regardless of age or experience, would do well to keep in mind. I chose one quote from each person and trust those reading your essays will discover more valuable insights.

“Our priorities may seem different, but they come back to basic human needs. We all desire a purpose, strive to be happy, and work to make a positive impact.” 

“You can’t judge a person by what you think , you can only judge a person by what you know .”

Emily (referencing your interviewee, who is battling cancer):

“Master Chief Petty Officer James has shown me how to appreciate what I have around me.”

Lily (quoting your grandfather):

“Kindness makes the world go round.”

“Everything should matter to us.”

Praethong (quoting your interviewee, Sandra, on the importance of family):

“It’s important to always maintain that connection you have with each other, your family, not just next-door neighbors you talk to once a month.”

“I wonder if maybe we relearn what is most important when we grow older. That the pressure to be successful subsides and that valuing family, health, and happiness is what ends up saving the world.”

“Listen to what others have to say. Listen to the people who have already experienced hardship. You will learn from them and you can even make their day by giving them a chance to voice their thoughts.”

I end this letter to you with the hope that you never stop asking others what is most important to them and that you to continue to take time to reflect on what matters most to you…and why. May you never stop asking, listening, and connecting with others, especially those who may seem to be unlike you. Keep writing, and keep sharing your thoughts and observations with others, for your ideas are awe-inspiring.

I also want to thank the more than 1,000 students who submitted essays. Together, by sharing what’s important to us with others, especially those who may believe or act differently, we can fill the world with joy, peace, beauty, and love.

We received many outstanding essays for the Winter 2019 Student Writing Competition. Though not every participant can win the contest, we’d like to share some excerpts that caught our eye:

Whether it is a painting on a milky canvas with watercolors or pasting photos onto a scrapbook with her granddaughters, it is always a piece of artwork to her. She values the things in life that keep her in the moment, while still exploring things she may not have initially thought would bring her joy.

—Ondine Grant-Krasno, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif.

“Ganas”… It means “desire” in Spanish. My ganas is fueled by my family’s belief in me. I cannot and will not fail them. 

—Adan Rios, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I hope when I grow up I can have the love for my kids like my grandma has for her kids. She makes being a mother even more of a beautiful thing than it already is.

—Ashley Shaw, Columbus City Prep School for Girls, Grove City, Ohio

You become a collage of little pieces of your friends and family. They also encourage you to be the best you can be. They lift you up onto the seat of your bike, they give you the first push, and they don’t hesitate to remind you that everything will be alright when you fall off and scrape your knee.

— Cecilia Stanton, Bellafonte Area Middle School, Bellafonte, Pa.

Without good friends, I wouldn’t know what I would do to endure the brutal machine of public education.

—Kenneth Jenkins, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.

My dog, as ridiculous as it may seem, is a beautiful example of what we all should aspire to be. We should live in the moment, not stress, and make it our goal to lift someone’s spirits, even just a little.

—Kate Garland, Immaculate Heart Middle School, Los Angeles, Calif. 

I strongly hope that every child can spare more time to accompany their elderly parents when they are struggling, and moving forward, and give them more care and patience. so as to truly achieve the goal of “you accompany me to grow up, and I will accompany you to grow old.”

—Taiyi Li, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

I have three cats, and they are my brothers and sisters. We share a special bond that I think would not be possible if they were human. Since they do not speak English, we have to find other ways to connect, and I think that those other ways can be more powerful than language.

—Maya Dombroskie, Delta Program Middle School, Boulsburg, Pa.

We are made to love and be loved. To have joy and be relational. As a member of the loneliest generation in possibly all of history, I feel keenly aware of the need for relationships and authentic connection. That is why I decided to talk to my grandmother.

—Luke Steinkamp, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

After interviewing my grandma and writing my paper, I realized that as we grow older, the things that are important to us don’t change, what changes is why those things are important to us.

—Emily Giffer, Our Lady Star of the Sea, Grosse Pointe Woods, Mich.

The media works to marginalize elders, often isolating them and their stories, and the wealth of knowledge that comes with their additional years of lived experiences. It also undermines the depth of children’s curiosity and capacity to learn and understand. When the worlds of elders and children collide, a classroom opens.

—Cristina Reitano, City College of San Francisco, San Francisco, Calif.

My values, although similar to my dad, only looked the same in the sense that a shadow is similar to the object it was cast on.

—Timofey Lisenskiy, Santa Monica High School, Santa Monica, Calif.

I can release my anger through writing without having to take it out on someone. I can escape and be a different person; it feels good not to be myself for a while. I can make up my own characters, so I can be someone different every day, and I think that’s pretty cool.

—Jasua Carillo, Wellness, Business, and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

Notice how all the important things in his life are people: the people who he loves and who love him back. This is because “people are more important than things like money or possessions, and families are treasures,” says grandpa Pat. And I couldn’t agree more.

—Brody Hartley, Garrison Middle School, Walla Walla, Wash.  

Curiosity for other people’s stories could be what is needed to save the world.

—Noah Smith, Kent State University, Kent, Ohio

Peace to me is a calm lake without a ripple in sight. It’s a starry night with a gentle breeze that pillows upon your face. It’s the absence of arguments, fighting, or war. It’s when egos stop working against each other and finally begin working with each other. Peace is free from fear, anxiety, and depression. To me, peace is an important ingredient in the recipe of life.

—JP Bogan, Lane Community College, Eugene, Ore.

From A Teacher

Charles Sanderson

Wellness, Business and Sports School, Woodburn, Ore. 

The Birthday Gift

I’ve known Jodelle for years, watching her grow from a quiet and timid twelve-year-old to a young woman who just returned from India, where she played Kabaddi, a kind of rugby meets Red Rover.

One of my core beliefs as an educator is to show up for the things that matter to kids, so I go to their games, watch their plays, and eat the strawberry jam they make for the county fair. On this occasion, I met Jodelle at a robotics competition to watch her little sister Abby compete. Think Nerd Paradise: more hats made from traffic cones than Golden State Warrior ball caps, more unicorn capes than Nike swooshes, more fanny packs with Legos than clutches with eyeliner.

We started chatting as the crowd chanted and waved six-foot flags for teams like Mystic Biscuits, Shrek, and everyone’s nemesis The Mean Machine. Apparently, when it’s time for lunch at a robotics competition, they don’t mess around. The once-packed gym was left to Jodelle and me, and we kept talking and talking. I eventually asked her about the three things that matter to her most.

She told me about her mom, her sister, and her addiction—to horses. I’ve read enough of her writing to know that horses were her drug of choice and her mom and sister were her support network.

I learned about her desire to become a teacher and how hours at the barn with her horse, Heart, recharge her when she’s exhausted. At one point, our rambling conversation turned to a topic I’ve known far too well—her father.

Later that evening, I received an email from Jodelle, and she had a lot to say. One line really struck me: “In so many movies, I have seen a dad wanting to protect his daughter from the world, but I’ve only understood the scene cognitively. Yesterday, I felt it.”

Long ago, I decided that I would never be a dad. I had seen movies with fathers and daughters, and for me, those movies might as well have been Star Wars, ET, or Alien—worlds filled with creatures I’d never know. However, over the years, I’ve attended Jodelle’s parent-teacher conferences, gone to her graduation, and driven hours to watch her ride Heart at horse shows. Simply, I showed up. I listened. I supported.

Jodelle shared a series of dad poems, as well. I had read the first two poems in their original form when Jodelle was my student. The revised versions revealed new graphic details of her past. The third poem, however, was something entirely different.

She called the poems my early birthday present. When I read the lines “You are my father figure/Who I look up to/Without being looked down on,” I froze for an instant and had to reread the lines. After fifty years of consciously deciding not to be a dad, I was seen as one—and it felt incredible. Jodelle’s poem and recognition were two of the best presents I’ve ever received.

I  know that I was the language arts teacher that Jodelle needed at the time, but her poem revealed things I never knew I taught her: “My father figure/ Who taught me/ That listening is for observing the world/ That listening is for learning/Not obeying/Writing is for connecting/Healing with others.”

Teaching is often a thankless job, one that frequently brings more stress and anxiety than joy and hope. Stress erodes my patience. Anxiety curtails my ability to enter each interaction with every student with the grace they deserve. However, my time with Jodelle reminds me of the importance of leaning in and listening.

In the article “Three Things That Matter Most in Youth and Old Age” by Nancy Hill, she illuminates how we “live among such remarkable people, yet few know their stories.” For the last twenty years, I’ve had the privilege to work with countless of these “remarkable people,” and I’ve done my best to listen, and, in so doing, I hope my students will realize what I’ve known for a long time; their voices matter and deserve to be heard, but the voices of their tias and abuelitos and babushkas are equally important. When we take the time to listen, I believe we do more than affirm the humanity of others; we affirm our own as well.

Charles Sanderson has grounded his nineteen-year teaching career in a philosophy he describes as “Mirror, Window, Bridge.” Charles seeks to ensure all students see themselves, see others, and begin to learn the skills to build bridges of empathy, affinity, and understanding between communities and cultures that may seem vastly different. He proudly teaches at the Wellness, Business and Sports School in Woodburn, Oregon, a school and community that brings him joy and hope on a daily basis.

From   The Author: Response to Charles Sanderson

Dear Charles Sanderson,

Thank you for submitting an essay of your own in addition to encouraging your students to participate in YES! Magazine’s essay contest.

Your essay focused not on what is important to you, but rather on what is important to one of your students. You took what mattered to her to heart, acting upon it by going beyond the school day and creating a connection that has helped fill a huge gap in her life. Your efforts will affect her far beyond her years in school. It is clear that your involvement with this student is far from the only time you have gone beyond the classroom, and while you are not seeking personal acknowledgment, I cannot help but applaud you.

In an ideal world, every teacher, every adult, would show the same interest in our children and adolescents that you do. By taking the time to listen to what is important to our youth, we can help them grow into compassionate, caring adults, capable of making our world a better place.

Your concerted efforts to guide our youth to success not only as students but also as human beings is commendable. May others be inspired by your insights, concerns, and actions. You define excellence in teaching.

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How to Write A+ Turning Point Essay

By: Henrique Bertulino

When a teacher at high school or a professor at a college or university picks an essay topic, it has to be the one that provokes thought. A written work about a turning point in life gives both the reader and the writer space to reflect on their life experiences, which makes it perfect for education purposes.

• Turning Point Essay Sample

Create a Great Introduction

Write a well-structured main body, produce a thought-through conclusion, additional tips on creating a powerful turning point in life essay.

If you have received an essay assignment with a "Turning Point in My Life" topic, you may feel overwhelmed. "What should I write about? Which story is worth sharing? How to write the essay to get a good grade?" - if you're asking yourself these questions, you're at the right place. Studybay has got you covered! Read on for samples and tips to nail a Turning Point of My Life essay.

Turning Point Essay Sample

One of the best ways of explaining is to show! That's why we offer you to take a look at a sample essay written by Madeline for her college coursework and proceed by reading our tips on improving it afterward.

From my point of view, one of the major turning points in my life was when I experienced burnout. It did not happen all at once but rather gradually.

Last semester I was extremely busy with a research paper while struggling to fulfill the requirements with the other courses I had. At the same time, I was also being under pressure of finding a summer job and trying to keep up with the social life.

I have been living at such a pace for over three months when I came to a realization that something was wrong. I was no longer experiencing excitement or even happiness and barely had any powers to talk to people. Even though I am naturally a highly sociable human being, I was wanting to spend all my spare time alone and was feeling chronically tired.

Luckily, my best friend also noticed the changes in my behavior and recommended me a trusted therapist. With the specialist's help, I managed to understand the root of the problem and address it. At that moment, I had mixed emotions about what was happening. However, nowadays, I realize that it was an important turning point for me.

With the support of my loved ones and qualified assistance, I managed to overcome the challenging situation and learned a lesson that I will be applying throughout my life.

Why It Is Not a Top-Grade Essay and How to Improve It

Have you noticed that even though Madeline has picked a very sensitive and personal topic, the essay doesn't seem to reveal her point of view? Unfortunately, that is one of the reasons why her essay is not likely to receive a good grade. However, the essay she wrote has all the chance to be upgraded to an A+ written work.

Madeline's essay has a logical flow, and yet it doesn't have a clear structure, which may be confusing for the reader. It is crucial for the essay to contain an introduction, the main body, and a conclusion.

Here is how Madeline could improve the introduction of her essay:

Life can get busy when you are a student. Assignments, research papers, part-time work, and social life become one big overwhelming mix. It may sound exciting for some, while others may be struggling to juggle multiple demanding tasks. A turning point in my life came from the place I expected the least - my daily routine.

This introduction looks a lot better, and here's why:

• It hooks the reader by providing enough background but not revealing the whole story
• It has a smooth transition to the next paragraph that will elaborate on the topic
• It is interesting and easy to follow

Now, let's move on to the text's main body .

Madeline's writing jumps from one thought to another. To make sure you don't make the same mistakes in your Major Turning Point in Life essay, try to consecutively answer the following questions:

• What was a turning point in your life?
• What did you feel at that time?
• Why is this event so important for you?
• How did this situation change your life?
• What do you feel about it now?

You don't have to include all the answers to these questions, as it may be impossible to cover everything being limited by word count requirements. What's important is the logical flow of thought demonstrated in that sequence. However, it is mandatory that the conclusion answers the question, "What did you learn from the situation?".

As you can see, Madeline's essay ends abruptly, leaving the reader wondering why exactly this turning point was critical in the author's life.

Here is a better way of finalizing the essay:

Being diagnosed with burnout for the first time at such a young age was hard to believe at first. However, I am glad that I was not afraid to trust a specialized therapist and had the bravery to address the issue. That period of my life has taught me many things. I have realized the importance of checking in on my mental state and taking enough time to rest. I have also understood how to prioritize tasks better. This period played a crucial role in my personal growth and taught me a lesson of true self-care I will keep applying in the future.

As you can see, this conclusion reflects on what Madeline truly feels about her experience and what it has taught her.

Structuring your essay and making it informative and personal will make the text fascinating to read. However, it is not enough to guarantee your assignment an excellent grade. Here are the ultimate tips to make your Turning Point in Life essay get an A+:

• Select the topic that truly had an influence on you
• Don't be afraid to reveal your point of view on the situation
• Proofread your text for grammar, punctuation, and spelling mistakes
• Remember to leave yourself enough time to edit the essay
• Before submitting the paper, run a plagiarism check

Having enough rest turned out to be the cross-cutting theme of this guide. Indeed, leaving time to relax is not easy in a study environment. So if you're in a bind trying to finish your assignments, essays, or even a term paper, let Studybay take the load off your shoulders!

Our writing service is happy to assist you with an essay describing a turning point in your life - simply provide us with the details. We can adapt to any format, including APA, MLA, and CMS - you name it. Save some energy and time with the help of Studybay without compromising on your grades!

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Essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life

Students are often asked to write an essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life

Introduction.

One day, I woke up and decided to change my life. It was a regular day, but I felt different.

Realization

I realized I wasn’t happy with my lifestyle. I was eating unhealthy, not exercising, and spending too much time on screens.

I decided to eat healthier, exercise daily, and limit my screen time. I knew it would be hard, but I was determined.

The change was tough initially, but I started feeling better, both physically and mentally.

250 Words Essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life

The awakening.

The day I decided to change my life was an ordinary day, indistinguishable from the rest. However, the ordinary was about to become extraordinary. I was sitting in my office, buried in a pile of paperwork, my spirit slowly being crushed under the monotony of routine.

The Epiphany

In the midst of this routine, a realization dawned upon me. I was not living; I was merely existing. This realization was a spark that ignited a desire for change. I decided I wanted to live a life of purpose, not just go through the motions.

The Decision

I decided to take control of my life. This decision was not a sudden impulse but a well-thought-out plan. I made a list of things I wanted to change: my job, my lifestyle, my mindset. I decided to pursue my passion for writing, to adopt a healthier lifestyle, and to cultivate a positive mindset.

The Journey

The journey was not easy. There were numerous obstacles and setbacks. However, every time I fell, I picked myself up and continued. I discovered an inner strength and resilience I never knew I had.

The Transformation

The day I decided to change my life was the day I truly started living. I discovered my passion, my purpose. I became a happier, healthier, and more fulfilled individual. This transformation was not just about changing my circumstances, but about changing my perspective.

500 Words Essay on The Day I Decided to Change My Life

Introduction: the catalyst for change.

Life, in its vast complexity, is a journey of continuous transformation. The day I decided to change my life was not marked by a grand event, but by an epiphany that emerged from the mundane, revealing profound truths about my existence.

Awakening: The Realization

The day began like any other, ensnared in the relentless grind of routine. I was a student, juggling a part-time job, college assignments, and a social life. As I sat down to complete an assignment, I realized I was merely existing, not living. I was caught in the web of societal expectations, disconnected from my passions and dreams. This realization was a harsh wake-up call, a mirror reflecting the life I had been leading, devoid of personal fulfillment.

The Decision: Embracing Change

Defining the path: identifying the changes.

The first step was identifying the changes I needed to make. I wanted to pursue my passion for writing, which had long been relegated to the background. I yearned for a healthier lifestyle, both physically and mentally. I also sought to build stronger relationships, moving beyond superficial connections to foster deep, meaningful bonds.

Implementation: Walking the Path

The implementation stage was challenging. I started small, dedicating an hour each day to writing. I began exercising regularly and meditating to cultivate mental peace. I reached out to friends and family, investing time and energy in nurturing those relationships. There were setbacks, but each failure served as a stepping stone, propelling me further along my path of transformation.

Reflection: The Journey Thus Far

Conclusion: the continuity of change.

The day I decided to change my life was the beginning of a journey, not a destination. Change is a continuous process, an ongoing journey of self-improvement and growth. My story is not unique; it is a testament to the power of personal transformation, a narrative that resonates with anyone seeking to live a life of purpose and fulfillment. In the end, the decision to change is a personal one, a commitment to oneself, and a journey worth undertaking.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

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Things I’ve learned from the biggest decisions I’ve made in my life

And how each big decision you take will bring awesome learnings that you will cherish forever.

Daniel Paredes

I was reflecting recently about my whole life, my career and all the decisions I have made during this short time on earth. I came up with some discoveries and thoughts about how everything was meticulously put together to bring me to this exact moment, where I feel happy about each big decision and moments I lived.

With this text, I hope to help anyone that is in front of big decisions and somehow help them to jump on that huge opportunity in front of them, because sometimes it’s scary to make big changes or taking big decisions but you have to realize that you don’t have to be afraid of changes, you should be afraid of no changes.

I am going to push you through some decisions since the early on my life — where my personality began to be molded by events that at the moment seemed like small things but now I discovered that they were very important decisions for me. These decisions forged my character and the way I act. So let’s start from the beginning.

The beginning

Normally, in every school, you are forced to take classes in different subjects from mathematics to arts and philosophy, I don’t totally agree with that type of education but I am going to leave that discussion for another post.

Anyways, when I was 7, I really did not like my art teacher and I made some efforts for him to did not like me either, it also forced me to have some serious thoughts about why should I have to learn how to make forms with glue and glitter (I seriously hate glitter until now).

All of this helped me to understand that probably I would never like art very much and that I had to focus my energy on other things. That’s when math and science conquer my heart and my brain, since that, I already know I was going to be involved in the future with anything related to numbers. It was an epiphany.

Most of the time during college I was always trying to thrive in math because that was the only way I had to explain to my parents why I always sucked in art — math was my shield and it is my shield until now, my life would never be the same without numbers, my lovely numbers.

Nowadays, I am very grateful to my art teacher, without him I probably would not have found one of my greatest passions. If you someday read this, thank you!

There are always going to be risks

So yeah, after all of that, I decided to become an engineer but that decision also meant that I had to start living in another city — scary thing for a 16 years old kid that lived with his parents his entire life.

I decided to go to live by myself thinking that the worst thing could happen was that I was not going to like it and I could always go back to my city…that’s when I learned a very helpful lesson, whatever thing that you have to decide, try to think about what could possibly be the worst case scenario, that’s when you are going to realize that there are actually very few risks that you can’t recover from.

Everything ended up really well…I became an independent guy, learned how to cook something besides tuna with rice (very common dish for a student in Colombia) and somehow it helped me to become a better and more mature person. This period also allowed me to understand more about what I was going to want to do with my life, I regret nothing about this decision.

At the end of my studies, I did an internship in a traditional steel company, it was the common path for someone in my university, so I went there with all my energies expecting the best but during these six months I quickly understood that I did not want to work in companies like that, a traditional and bureaucratic company where is very difficult to actually make an impact or to be able of making things that matter to me.

This was probably one of the most important learnings of my life and it radically changed the way I think and the next decisions I was going to have to make in the next years. This experience allows me to understand some things about me and about the nature of work and I also met some incredible people that are friends of mine until today.

Also, this taught me that you can’t make the right decisions every time, sometimes you might take some that are unfeasible to sustain and then you have to decide which attitude you are going to take: to be frustrated for a “bad” decision or learn with these situations and take advantage on that to make better ones in the future.

Have some courage

I ended up my internship with a truthful and clear conclusion about my life, I am not going to work anymore for traditional companies — so I started to look for jobs in companies where I could feel that everything was going to be different, sadly, in Colombia during this period of time there were not many companies with the profile I was looking for (it’s amazingly growing recently).

That’s when I decided to start looking outside Colombia for positions that had basically three conditions: it has to be a company with an excellent culture and it must be a startup yet and it must be in a position where I can be involved with numbers and strategy, at that time I did not have at all previous experience in Business Intelligence .

It took me months after applying to so many companies and probably hundreds of interviews until finally got to speak with Bernardo and Eduardo, GetNinjas leadership, a marketplace in São Paulo, Brazil and after having a nearly 2-hour chat they decided to invite me to join their team a week after that — it was the scariest and exciting email I got.

Back then, it was really difficult to decide to live in another country for so many reasons: 1) I did not speak Portuguese 2) I did not have much experience in business intelligence, we can say none experience, 3) I did not know anybody there, 4) I had every person I love there and I could count many other reasons.

It took a lot of courage but I say yes without having certainty of nothing and with chances of failure but now that everything passed I can certainly say that it was again one of best decisions in my life, probably — I truly love my years at GetNinjas, probably the time where I learned the most and built almost everything I know now. That’s how I realized that in this type of decisions you have to always have enough courage to trust yourself and your abilities. No matter what happens, you are going to find ways to make it work.

Big decisions never limit your options

After two and a half years at GetNinjas and after having the most valuable experience of my life, I started to feel that I wanted a change…I was a little bit more used to changes by then, so I asked me: what’s next? what should I do to be more challenged and learn more? Curiously, I was more courageous and experienced than the 23 years old guy that arrived in SP almost 3 years ago.

I had several interviews with other companies, finally, I decided to go to work at Uber Brazil, I was really curious about working in a company of that size and now I was not afraid of confronting new opportunities.

Here is a new lesson I figured out during this change, sometimes you might be worried that when you have a big decision to make, you are going to be in some positions you can’t escape from. The thing is, that new choices are never going to limit your options — sometimes it can open other new ones that you never expected before.

The most important mentality you need to have it is that you should always have to keep pursuing new opportunities that are related to your goals, this way you will always have other new opportunities arising all the time.

The present

It has passed almost the first two-quarters of 2019 and now I am working at OLX and living in Rio de Janeiro, how did I get here?

Applying most of the lessons I learned during my short path:

• Don’t underestimate what it looks like small decisions, in the long run, everything you decide/learn could be game-changing in the future
• Every decision it’s going to have some risks but you have to understand that there are very few risks you can’t solve afterward
• The attitude you put when succeeding or failing after making some decision matters
• Have the courage to trust yourself and your abilities, you will be surprised about what you are able to achieve
• Making big decisions in your life does not limit your options — it will actually unblock new ones

Like I said before, after one incredible year at Uber, it appeared the opportunity to come to work here at OLX, in Rio de Janeiro (what a beautiful city)— the challenge looked so good and for me, OLX had an interesting culture and product I was going to love to work and help them to improve it using my skills. After nearly 6 months working here, I regret nothing, work here and live here is an outstanding experience that it also helped me to take care of myself: my health and the more importantly, my brain and my skills.

Wrapping up

Now, I am really anxious about what is going to be my next great decision or big movement in my life, I learned to embrace change as a thing it needs to happen in order to grow more and improve myself. Like I said before if you want to grow: you don’t have to be afraid of changes, you should be afraid of not changing at all.

I hope this helps people at some point, Most humans go through some harsh decisions during their lives, so I don’t feel special at all, I just want to share my story and be reflective about my path.

If you want, please share with me your story and your learnings, I would love to read it!

Please visit my other readings:

4 important reflections about mistakes, mistakes are how we human beings learn, 3 skills you should learn to be an impressive data analyst, don’t be surprised if i told you that is none related to technical skills.

Written by Daniel Paredes

I translate numbers into product insights.

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The Best Decision That I Made in My Life

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The Decision that Will Impact Me for The Rest of My Life

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Published: Jul 15, 2020

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Student study abroad essay: The best decision of my life

Monday, Apr 10, 2017

Senior Jessica Hunter traveled to Ireland and London as an undergraduate

by Jessica Hunter

Study Abroad Program: API, University of Westminster Location: London, England Study Abroad Semester: Summer 2015 Study Abroad Program: Special Education Abroad Location: Dublin, Ireland, and London, England Study Abroad Semester: Summer 2016

I am a graduating senior majoring in elementary education and psychology with a minor in special education. When reflecting upon my time at Rider University, my study abroad experiences and being a study abroad ambassador, I cannot help but think of my favorite quote by Danny Kaye about traveling: “To travel is to take a journey into yourself." At the risk of sounding cliché, studying abroad was the best decision I could have made in my college career, or even my life.

Having the opportunity to study abroad has positively changed who I am in so many ways. The valuable experiences, lessons and people I have met throughout my travels have certainly benefitted me in every aspect of my life. As an educator, I am able to speak about my experiences of studying abroad and serving as a study abroad ambassador to my students and relate it to their schoolwork. 

After graduation, I plan on traveling as much as possible! I currently have plans to visit Israel and France and return to London with friends I met while studying abroad. In addition to my travels, I hope to find a job in the education field, specifically working as a special education teacher. Furthermore, I will be attending graduate school to work toward my dream of becoming a school psychologist.

I will forever be thankful to have had the opportunity to study abroad twice during my college career. The experiences I had and the memories I created will be something I remember for the rest of my life.

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How to Ace the IELTS Speaking Task: Describing a Difficult Choice

The IELTS Speaking test often includes topics that require candidates to reflect on personal experiences. One such topic that frequently appears is “ Describe A Time When You Made A Difficult Choice .” This article will guide you through answering this question effectively, helping you achieve a high band score in your IELTS Speaking test.

Table of Contents

• 1 Understanding the Topic
• 2 Part 1: Introduction and Interview
• 3.1 Cue Card
• 3.2 Sample Answer (Band 8-9)
• 3.3 Follow-up Questions
• 4 Part 3: Two-way Discussion
• 5 Key Vocabulary and Phrases
• 6 Examiner’s Advice

Understanding the Topic

The topic “Describe a time when you made a difficult choice” is a common one in IELTS Speaking tests. It allows examiners to assess your ability to articulate personal experiences, express emotions, and use appropriate vocabulary and grammar structures. This topic is likely to appear in Part 2 of the Speaking test, where you’re given a cue card and asked to speak for 1-2 minutes on a specific subject.

Part 1: Introduction and Interview

In Part 1, the examiner may ask some general questions related to decision-making. Here’s an example question with a suggested answer:

Question: Do you find it easy or difficult to make decisions?

Band 6-7 Answer: “Well, it depends on the situation. For small decisions, like what to eat for dinner, I find it quite easy. But when it comes to big life choices , like choosing a career path, I sometimes struggle. I tend to weigh the pros and cons carefully before making a decision.”

Band 8-9 Answer: “I’d say my ease in decision-making varies considerably depending on the gravity of the situation. For trivial matters , such as daily meal choices, I’m quite decisive. However, when faced with life-altering decisions , like career moves or significant investments, I find myself more cautious. I typically employ a systematic approach , carefully analyzing the potential outcomes and seeking advice from trusted sources before committing to a course of action.”

Part 2: Long Turn

Describe a time when you made a difficult choice You should say:

• What the choice was
• When you had to make this choice
• Why it was difficult
• What the result of your choice was

Sample Answer (Band 8-9)

“I’d like to share an experience about a particularly challenging decision I had to make a couple of years ago. The choice I faced was whether to accept a lucrative job offer in a different city or stay in my current position closer to my family.

This decision came about when I was approached by a prestigious company offering me a position with significant career advancement opportunities and a substantial salary increase. However, accepting this offer meant relocating to a city about 500 kilometers away from my hometown, where my parents and younger siblings reside.

The difficulty of this choice stemmed from the conflicting priorities in my life. On one hand, the job offer aligned perfectly with my career aspirations and would have provided financial stability. On the other hand, I’ve always been very close to my family, and the thought of not being able to see them regularly or be there for important moments was heart-wrenching .

I spent weeks deliberating over this decision, making pros and cons lists , and seeking advice from mentors and loved ones. Ultimately, I chose to decline the offer and remain in my current job. The result of this choice was a mix of emotions . While I occasionally wonder about the ‘what ifs’, I feel a deep sense of contentment knowing I can be present for my family. This decision also motivated me to seek growth opportunities within my current company, which has led to unexpected advancements in my career.

In retrospect, this difficult choice taught me a lot about my values and the importance of work-life balance . It reinforced the idea that sometimes, the most rewarding decisions aren’t always the most obvious ones.”

Follow-up Questions

Question: How do you usually make important decisions?

Band 6-7 Answer: “When I have to make important decisions, I usually take my time. I like to think things through carefully and consider all the options. I often make a list of pros and cons to help me see things more clearly. Sometimes, I also ask for advice from people I trust, like my parents or close friends.”

Band 8-9 Answer: “My approach to critical decision-making is multi-faceted. I begin by gathering all relevant information and assessing the potential outcomes of each option. I’m a firm believer in the power of data-driven decisions , so I often create detailed spreadsheets or mind maps to visualize the pros and cons. Additionally, I value the insights of others, so I frequently consult with mentors or experts in the field related to the decision. I also try to factor in both short-term and long-term implications, considering how the decision aligns with my overall life goals and values. Ultimately, I aim to strike a balance between logical analysis and trusting my intuition.”

Part 3: Two-way Discussion

Examiner: Do you think people make better decisions as they get older? Why or why not?

Band 6-7 Answer: “Yes, I believe people generally make better decisions as they get older. This is mainly because they have more life experience to draw from. They’ve seen the consequences of different choices and have learned from their mistakes. Also, older people tend to be more patient and less impulsive, which can lead to more thoughtful decision-making.”

Band 8-9 Answer: “I’m inclined to believe that age does indeed contribute to enhanced decision-making capabilities, albeit with some caveats. As individuals accumulate life experiences , they develop a more nuanced understanding of cause-and-effect relationships, which can inform their choices. Moreover, the neurological maturation of the prefrontal cortex, which continues into one’s mid-20s, enhances cognitive functions like impulse control and long-term planning.

However, it’s crucial to note that age alone doesn’t guarantee better decisions. The quality of one’s choices is also influenced by factors such as emotional intelligence , adaptability , and a willingness to learn from past experiences. Additionally, in rapidly changing fields like technology, younger individuals might have an edge due to their up-to-date knowledge and fresh perspectives.

Ultimately, I believe the best decision-makers combine the wisdom that comes with age with a commitment to lifelong learning and openness to new ideas, regardless of their age.”

Key Vocabulary and Phrases

Deliberate (verb) /dɪˈlɪbəreɪt/ – to think about or discuss something very carefully Example: “I need to deliberate on this job offer before making a decision.”

Weigh the pros and cons (phrase) – to consider the advantages and disadvantages of something Example: “Before deciding, I always weigh the pros and cons of each option.”

Life-altering decision (phrase) – a choice that can significantly change one’s life Example: “Choosing to move to another country was a life-altering decision for me.”

Conflicting priorities (phrase) – different goals or needs that are incompatible or compete for resources Example: “I often struggle with conflicting priorities between my career and personal life.”

Work-life balance (noun) /wɜːrk laɪf ˈbæləns/ – the division of one’s time and focus between working and family or leisure activities Example: “Maintaining a good work-life balance is crucial for my overall well-being.”

Examiner’s Advice

To excel in the IELTS Speaking test, especially when describing a difficult choice:

• Practice articulating your thoughts clearly and coherently.
• Use a variety of vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
• Provide specific examples to support your points.
• Show your ability to analyze situations from different perspectives.
• Be honest and authentic in your responses while maintaining a formal tone.

Remember, the key to success in the IELTS Speaking test is not just about what you say, but how you say it. Confidence, fluency, and the ability to express complex ideas clearly are all crucial factors in achieving a high band score.

For more tips on improving your IELTS Speaking skills, check out our article on how to describe a person who has had a positive impact on your mental health . This can provide additional insights into structuring your responses effectively.

• speaking topics
• Vocabulary List

How to Describe a Place Where You Feel at Peace in IELTS Speaking: Expert Tips and Sample Answers

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