My Happy Place Essay Example
There is a specific place that I am automatically drawn to that rain or shine, I always want to go to. You could say this is my happy place. It would have to be my favorite spot in the whole world. Even though it’s about 2 1/2 hours away, I don’t mind the drive at all because it’s totally worth it. As soon as I get to my favorite place, I jump out of the car to smell the fresh salty air. I usually go with my friends and family. We stay for about four or five hours, which in reality feels like a millisecond. As soon as we all get out, we pick a spot to set up our umbrella and cooler for our day packed with relaxation.
Once we get set up, I put on sunscreen to protect my skin from the harmful UV rays from the sun, because no one ever likes the post-beach day sunburn. After I put sunscreen on I lay my towel down and dig my toes into the sand. The waves crashing onto the shore makes me feel as if I’m floating in the clouds of relaxation. Although I’m not a big fan of the sand, it would still have to be my favorite place to go.
There’s a lot you can do here. When I visit I usually like to walk or ride bikes along the water. They have lots of other activities you could do, you could go surfing, snorkeling, or ride the bus to see the island. After we do all the fun activities, we sometimes get an ice cream cone from Two Scopes on the corner, I usually get strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone. Once we get ice cream, we walk up the pier and watch the Dolphins jump up out of the water.
I love coming here even during the colder months out of the year. This is around the time when the baby turtles lay eggs and hatch. I still enjoy going here to sit on the sand, maybe do some paperwork or read a book. It has a relaxing and calming atmosphere that I really enjoy. Although I haven’t been in a while because of the pandemic, I still find myself longing to get to the beach. All the things the island offers have made Anna Maria Island beach my favorite place that is full of happiness and relaxation.
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The Composition of Happiness
Eng 1101 / hus 1101 learning community (fall 2014).
My Happy Place: Central Park
Out of the many places I have visited in New York my favorite place that brings me happiness is Central Park. Central Park is a calm place full of nature located right in the center of the chaotic city of Manhattan. I have lived in New York for about 15 years and I still have not visited all of central park because it is huge. My goal is to someday finally say that I have been all around central park.
In my opinion Central Park is one of the most beautiful places in New York City. It is gorgeous year around, it is always perfect to go to central park. In the summer anyone could go take a walk, ride bikes, roller blade, claim rocks or even just sit down on top of the huge rocks overlooking at the skyscrapers enjoying a picnic. In the fall the leaves start to change colors and start to fall down. Taking a walk down the park hearing the crunching noise of the leaves on the ground while looking over the trees made up of all the different shades of red. In the in the winter the tress get covered with snow. It seems as if you were walking down a winter wonderland. I love watching people playing with the snow such as snow ball fighting, making snowmen, or making snow angles. In the spring flowers start to bloom and trees come back to life. Central park started to bloom back to life with delicate pastel colors such as lavender, pinks, yellows, and greens. It doesnât matter what season of the year it is I will always love to visit Central Park because of the beautiful view of nature and the tranquility it transmits to me.
Not only does it look beautiful but it also has a lot of sentimental values. Ever since I could remember my parents used to take me and my siblings to Central Park on their days off. My siblings and I used to run around playing tag in the play grounds, racing up the rocks, committing on who learned how to ride a bike faster. I also remember going to the zoo and feeding the animals. After a long week of parents working we took a day off to go relax and spend time together sitting in the grass with snacks enjoying the beautiful weather. Once we got a dog we used to go take him for walks and try to teach him how to play fetch but he never learned.
As time passed we all grew up and stopped going to Central Park as frequently as we used to. Still to this day I love going to Central Park on my free time because it brings back childhood memories. I also love going to just take a break from all the chaos in my life and just sit down and enjoy nature. In the winter I also go to the ice skating rank with friends. Central Park is a place that makes me happy because there is endless things to do. It is also a place that has a lot of sentimental value.
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Choose Your Test
Sat / act prep online guides and tips, 177 college essay examples for 11 schools + expert analysis.
College Admissions , College Essays
The personal statement might just be the hardest part of your college application. Mostly this is because it has the least guidance and is the most open-ended. One way to understand what colleges are looking for when they ask you to write an essay is to check out the essays of students who already got inâcollege essays that actually worked. After all, they must be among the most successful of this weird literary genre.
In this article, I'll go through general guidelines for what makes great college essays great. I've also compiled an enormous list of 100+ actual sample college essays from 11 different schools. Finally, I'll break down two of these published college essay examples and explain why and how they work. With links to 177 full essays and essay excerpts , this article is a great resource for learning how to craft your own personal college admissions essay!
What Excellent College Essays Have in Common
Even though in many ways these sample college essays are very different from one other, they do share some traits you should try to emulate as you write your own essay.
Visible Signs of Planning
Building out from a narrow, concrete focus. You'll see a similar structure in many of the essays. The author starts with a very detailed story of an event or description of a person or place. After this sense-heavy imagery, the essay expands out to make a broader point about the author, and connects this very memorable experience to the author's present situation, state of mind, newfound understanding, or maturity level.
Knowing how to tell a story. Some of the experiences in these essays are one-of-a-kind. But most deal with the stuff of everyday life. What sets them apart is the way the author approaches the topic: analyzing it for drama and humor, for its moving qualities, for what it says about the author's world, and for how it connects to the author's emotional life.
Stellar Execution
A killer first sentence. You've heard it before, and you'll hear it again: you have to suck the reader in, and the best place to do that is the first sentence. Great first sentences are punchy. They are like cliffhangers, setting up an exciting scene or an unusual situation with an unclear conclusion, in order to make the reader want to know more. Don't take my word for itâcheck out these 22 first sentences from Stanford applicants and tell me you don't want to read the rest of those essays to find out what happens!
A lively, individual voice. Writing is for readers. In this case, your reader is an admissions officer who has read thousands of essays before yours and will read thousands after. Your goal? Don't bore your reader. Use interesting descriptions, stay away from clichĂ©s, include your own offbeat observationsâanything that makes this essay sounds like you and not like anyone else.
Technical correctness. No spelling mistakes, no grammar weirdness, no syntax issues, no punctuation snafusâeach of these sample college essays has been formatted and proofread perfectly. If this kind of exactness is not your strong suit, you're in luck! All colleges advise applicants to have their essays looked over several times by parents, teachers, mentors, and anyone else who can spot a comma splice. Your essay must be your own work, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help polishing it.
And if you need more guidance, connect with PrepScholar's expert admissions consultants . These expert writers know exactly what college admissions committees look for in an admissions essay and chan help you craft an essay that boosts your chances of getting into your dream school.
Check out PrepScholar's Essay Editing and Coaching progra m for more details!
Links to Full College Essay Examples
Some colleges publish a selection of their favorite accepted college essays that worked, and I've put together a selection of over 100 of these.
Common App Essay Samples
Please note that some of these college essay examples may be responding to prompts that are no longer in use. The current Common App prompts are as follows:
1. Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story. 2. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? 3. Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome? 4. Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? 5. Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others. 6. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
7. Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one you've already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Now, let's get to the good stuff: the list of 177 college essay examples responding to current and past Common App essay prompts.
Connecticut college.
- 12 Common Application essays from the classes of 2022-2025
Hamilton College
- 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2026
- 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2022
- 7 Common Application essays from the class of 2018
- 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2012
- 8 Common Application essays from the class of 2007
Johns Hopkins
These essays are answers to past prompts from either the Common Application or the Coalition Application (which Johns Hopkins used to accept).
- 1 Common Application or Coalition Application essay from the class of 2026
- 6 Common Application or Coalition Application essays from the class of 2025
- 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2024
- 6 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2023
- 7 Common Application of Universal Application essays from the class of 2022
- 5 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2021
- 7 Common Application or Universal Application essays from the class of 2020
Essay Examples Published by Other Websites
- 2 Common Application essays ( 1st essay , 2nd essay ) from applicants admitted to Columbia
Other Sample College Essays
Here is a collection of essays that are college-specific.
Babson College
- 4 essays (and 1 video response) on "Why Babson" from the class of 2020
Emory University
- 5 essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) from the class of 2020 along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on why the essays were exceptional
- 5 more recent essay examples ( 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 , 5 ) along with analysis from Emory admissions staff on what made these essays stand out
University of Georgia
- 1 âstrong essayâ sample from 2019
- 1 âstrong essayâ sample from 2018
- 10 Harvard essays from 2023
- 10 Harvard essays from 2022
- 10 Harvard essays from 2021
- 10 Harvard essays from 2020
- 10 Harvard essays from 2019
- 10 Harvard essays from 2018
- 6 essays from admitted MIT students
Smith College
- 6 "best gift" essays from the class of 2018
Books of College Essays
If you're looking for even more sample college essays, consider purchasing a college essay book. The best of these include dozens of essays that worked and feedback from real admissions officers.
College Essays That Made a Difference âThis detailed guide from Princeton Review includes not only successful essays, but also interviews with admissions officers and full student profiles.
50 Successful Harvard Application Essays by the Staff of the Harvard CrimsonâA must for anyone aspiring to Harvard .
50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays and 50 Successful Stanford Application Essays by Gen and Kelly TanabeâFor essays from other top schools, check out this venerated series, which is regularly updated with new essays.
Heavenly Essays by Janine W. RobinsonâThis collection from the popular blogger behind Essay Hell includes a wider range of schools, as well as helpful tips on honing your own essay.
Analyzing Great Common App Essays That Worked
I've picked two essays from the examples collected above to examine in more depth so that you can see exactly what makes a successful college essay work. Full credit for these essays goes to the original authors and the schools that published them.
Example 1: "Breaking Into Cars," by Stephen, Johns Hopkins Class of '19 (Common App Essay, 636 words long)
I had never broken into a car before.
We were in Laredo, having just finished our first day at a Habitat for Humanity work site. The Hotchkiss volunteers had already left, off to enjoy some Texas BBQ, leaving me behind with the college kids to clean up. Not until we were stranded did we realize we were locked out of the van.
Someone picked a coat hanger out of the dumpster, handed it to me, and took a few steps back.
"Can you do that thing with a coat hanger to unlock it?"
"Why me?" I thought.
More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame. Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.
My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringingâall meant my house was functioning normally. My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skillâyou know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed. "The water's on fire! Clear a hole!" he shouted, tossing me in the lake without warning. While I'm still unconvinced about that particular lesson's practicality, my Dad's overarching message is unequivocally true: much of life is unexpected, and you have to deal with the twists and turns.
Living in my family, days rarely unfolded as planned. A bit overlooked, a little pushed around, I learned to roll with reality, negotiate a quick deal, and give the improbable a try. I don't sweat the small stuff, and I definitely don't expect perfect fairness. So what if our dining room table only has six chairs for seven people? Someone learns the importance of punctuality every night.
But more than punctuality and a special affinity for musical chairs, my family life has taught me to thrive in situations over which I have no power. Growing up, I never controlled my older siblings, but I learned how to thwart their attempts to control me. I forged alliances, and realigned them as necessary. Sometimes, I was the poor, defenseless little brother; sometimes I was the omniscient elder. Different things to different people, as the situation demanded. I learned to adapt.
Back then, these techniques were merely reactions undertaken to ensure my survival. But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"
The question caught me off guard, much like the question posed to me in Laredo. Then, I realized I knew the answer. I knew why the coat hanger had been handed to me.
Growing up as the middle child in my family, I was a vital participant in a thing I did not govern, in the company of people I did not choose. It's family. It's society. And often, it's chaos. You participate by letting go of the small stuff, not expecting order and perfection, and facing the unexpected with confidence, optimism, and preparedness. My family experience taught me to face a serendipitous world with confidence.
What Makes This Essay Tick?
It's very helpful to take writing apart in order to see just how it accomplishes its objectives. Stephen's essay is very effective. Let's find out why!
An Opening Line That Draws You In
In just eight words, we get: scene-setting (he is standing next to a car about to break in), the idea of crossing a boundary (he is maybe about to do an illegal thing for the first time), and a cliffhanger (we are thinking: is he going to get caught? Is he headed for a life of crime? Is he about to be scared straight?).
Great, Detailed Opening Story
More out of amusement than optimism, I gave it a try. I slid the hanger into the window's seal like I'd seen on crime shows, and spent a few minutes jiggling the apparatus around the inside of the frame.
It's the details that really make this small experience come alive. Notice how whenever he can, Stephen uses a more specific, descriptive word in place of a more generic one. The volunteers aren't going to get food or dinner; they're going for "Texas BBQ." The coat hanger comes from "a dumpster." Stephen doesn't just move the coat hangerâhe "jiggles" it.
Details also help us visualize the emotions of the people in the scene. The person who hands Stephen the coat hanger isn't just uncomfortable or nervous; he "takes a few steps back"âa description of movement that conveys feelings. Finally, the detail of actual speech makes the scene pop. Instead of writing that the other guy asked him to unlock the van, Stephen has the guy actually say his own words in a way that sounds like a teenager talking.
Turning a Specific Incident Into a Deeper Insight
Suddenly, two things simultaneously clicked. One was the lock on the door. (I actually succeeded in springing it.) The other was the realization that I'd been in this type of situation before. In fact, I'd been born into this type of situation.
Stephen makes the locked car experience a meaningful illustration of how he has learned to be resourceful and ready for anything, and he also makes this turn from the specific to the broad through an elegant play on the two meanings of the word "click."
Using Concrete Examples When Making Abstract Claims
My upbringing has numbed me to unpredictability and chaos. With a family of seven, my home was loud, messy, and spottily supervised. My siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringingâall meant my house was functioning normally.
"Unpredictability and chaos" are very abstract, not easily visualized concepts. They could also mean any number of thingsâviolence, abandonment, poverty, mental instability. By instantly following up with highly finite and unambiguous illustrations like "family of seven" and "siblings arguing, the dog barking, the phone ringing," Stephen grounds the abstraction in something that is easy to picture: a large, noisy family.
Using Small Bits of Humor and Casual Word Choice
My Dad, a retired Navy pilot, was away half the time. When he was home, he had a parenting style something like a drill sergeant. At the age of nine, I learned how to clear burning oil from the surface of water. My Dad considered this a critical life skillâyou know, in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed.
Obviously, knowing how to clean burning oil is not high on the list of things every 9-year-old needs to know. To emphasize this, Stephen uses sarcasm by bringing up a situation that is clearly over-the-top: "in case my aircraft carrier should ever get torpedoed."
The humor also feels relaxed. Part of this is because he introduces it with the colloquial phrase "you know," so it sounds like he is talking to us in person. This approach also diffuses the potential discomfort of the reader with his father's strictnessâsince he is making jokes about it, clearly he is OK. Notice, though, that this doesn't occur very much in the essay. This helps keep the tone meaningful and serious rather than flippant.
An Ending That Stretches the Insight Into the Future
But one day this fall, Dr. Hicks, our Head of School, asked me a question that he hoped all seniors would reflect on throughout the year: "How can I participate in a thing I do not govern, in the company of people I did not choose?"
The ending of the essay reveals that Stephen's life has been one long preparation for the future. He has emerged from chaos and his dad's approach to parenting as a person who can thrive in a world that he can't control.
This connection of past experience to current maturity and self-knowledge is a key element in all successful personal essays. Colleges are very much looking for mature, self-aware applicants. These are the qualities of successful college students, who will be able to navigate the independence college classes require and the responsibility and quasi-adulthood of college life.
What Could This Essay Do Even Better?
Even the best essays aren't perfect, and even the world's greatest writers will tell you that writing is never "finished"âjust "due." So what would we tweak in this essay if we could?
Replace some of the clichéd language. Stephen uses handy phrases like "twists and turns" and "don't sweat the small stuff" as a kind of shorthand for explaining his relationship to chaos and unpredictability. But using too many of these ready-made expressions runs the risk of clouding out your own voice and replacing it with something expected and boring.
Use another example from recent life. Stephen's first example (breaking into the van in Laredo) is a great illustration of being resourceful in an unexpected situation. But his essay also emphasizes that he "learned to adapt" by being "different things to different people." It would be great to see how this plays out outside his family, either in the situation in Laredo or another context.
Example 2: By Renner Kwittken, Tufts Class of '23 (Common App Essay, 645 words long)
My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver. I saw it in my favorite book, Richard Scarry's "Cars and Trucks and Things That Go," and for some reason, I was absolutely obsessed with the idea of driving a giant pickle. Much to the discontent of my younger sister, I insisted that my parents read us that book as many nights as possible so we could find goldbug, a small little golden bug, on every page. I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.
Then I discovered a real goldbug: gold nanoparticles that can reprogram macrophages to assist in killing tumors, produce clear images of them without sacrificing the subject, and heat them to obliteration.
Suddenly the destination of my pickle was clear.
I quickly became enveloped by the world of nanomedicine; I scoured articles about liposomes, polymeric micelles, dendrimers, targeting ligands, and self-assembling nanoparticles, all conquering cancer in some exotic way. Completely absorbed, I set out to find a mentor to dive even deeper into these topics. After several rejections, I was immensely grateful to receive an invitation to work alongside Dr. Sangeeta Ray at Johns Hopkins.
In the lab, Dr. Ray encouraged a great amount of autonomy to design and implement my own procedures. I chose to attack a problem that affects the entire field of nanomedicine: nanoparticles consistently fail to translate from animal studies into clinical trials. Jumping off recent literature, I set out to see if a pre-dose of a common chemotherapeutic could enhance nanoparticle delivery in aggressive prostate cancer, creating three novel constructs based on three different linear polymers, each using fluorescent dye (although no gold, sorry goldbug!). Though using radioactive isotopes like Gallium and Yttrium would have been incredible, as a 17-year-old, I unfortunately wasn't allowed in the same room as these radioactive materials (even though I took a Geiger counter to a pair of shoes and found them to be slightly dangerous).
I hadn't expected my hypothesis to work, as the research project would have ideally been led across two full years. Yet while there are still many optimizations and revisions to be done, I was thrilled to find -- with completely new nanoparticles that may one day mean future trials will use particles with the initials "RK-1" -- thatcyclophosphamide did indeed increase nanoparticle delivery to the tumor in a statistically significant way.
A secondary, unexpected research project was living alone in Baltimore, a new city to me, surrounded by people much older than I. Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research. Whether in a presentation or in a casual conversation, making others interested in science is perhaps more exciting to me than the research itself. This solidified a new pursuit to angle my love for writing towards illuminating science in ways people can understand, adding value to a society that can certainly benefit from more scientific literacy.
It seems fitting that my goals are still transforming: in Scarry's book, there is not just one goldbug, there is one on every page. With each new experience, I'm learning that it isn't the goldbug itself, but rather the act of searching for the goldbugs that will encourage, shape, and refine my ever-evolving passions. Regardless of the goldbug I seek -- I know my pickle truck has just begun its journey.
Renner takes a somewhat different approach than Stephen, but their essay is just as detailed and engaging. Let's go through some of the strengths of this essay.
One Clear Governing Metaphor
This essay is ultimately about two things: Rennerâs dreams and future career goals, and Rennerâs philosophy on goal-setting and achieving oneâs dreams.
But instead of listing off all the amazing things theyâve done to pursue their dream of working in nanomedicine, Renner tells a powerful, unique story instead. To set up the narrative, Renner opens the essay by connecting their experiences with goal-setting and dream-chasing all the way back to a memorable childhood experience:
This lightheartedâbut relevant!--story about the moment when Renner first developed a passion for a specific career (âfinding the goldbugâ) provides an anchor point for the rest of the essay. As Renner pivots to describing their current dreams and goalsâworking in nanomedicineâthe metaphor of âfinding the goldbugâ is reflected in Rennerâs experiments, rejections, and new discoveries.
Though Renner tells multiple stories about their quest to âfind the goldbug,â or, in other words, pursue their passion, each story is connected by a unifying theme; namely, that as we search and grow over time, our goals will transformâŠand thatâs okay! By the end of the essay, Renner uses the metaphor of âfinding the goldbugâ to reiterate the relevance of the opening story:
While the earlier parts of the essay convey Rennerâs core message by showing, the final, concluding paragraph sums up Rennerâs insights by telling. By briefly and clearly stating the relevance of the goldbug metaphor to their own philosophy on goals and dreams, Renner demonstrates their creativity, insight, and eagerness to grow and evolve as the journey continues into college.
An Engaging, Individual Voice
This essay uses many techniques that make Renner sound genuine and make the reader feel like we already know them.
Technique #1: humor. Notice Renner's gentle and relaxed humor that lightly mocks their younger self's grand ambitions (this is different from the more sarcastic kind of humor used by Stephen in the first essayâyou could never mistake one writer for the other).
My first dream job was to be a pickle truck driver.
I would imagine the wonderful life I would have: being a pig driving a giant pickle truck across the country, chasing and finding goldbug. I then moved on to wanting to be a Lego Master. Then an architect. Then a surgeon.
Renner gives a great example of how to use humor to your advantage in college essays. You donât want to come off as too self-deprecating or sarcastic, but telling a lightheartedly humorous story about your younger self that also showcases how youâve grown and changed over time can set the right tone for your entire essay.
Technique #2: intentional, eye-catching structure. The second technique is the way Renner uses a unique structure to bolster the tone and themes of their essay . The structure of your essay can have a major impact on how your ideas come acrossâŠso itâs important to give it just as much thought as the content of your essay!
For instance, Renner does a great job of using one-line paragraphs to create dramatic emphasis and to make clear transitions from one phase of the story to the next:
Suddenly the destination of my pickle car was clear.
Not only does the one-liner above signal that Renner is moving into a new phase of the narrative (their nanoparticle research experiences), it also tells the reader that this is a big moment in Rennerâs story. Itâs clear that Renner made a major discovery that changed the course of their goal pursuit and dream-chasing. Through structure, Renner conveys excitement and entices the reader to keep pushing forward to the next part of the story.
Technique #3: playing with syntax. The third technique is to use sentences of varying length, syntax, and structure. Most of the essay's written in standard English and uses grammatically correct sentences. However, at key moments, Renner emphasizes that the reader needs to sit up and pay attention by switching to short, colloquial, differently punctuated, and sometimes fragmented sentences.
Even with moving frequently between hotels, AirBnB's, and students' apartments, I strangely reveled in the freedom I had to enjoy my surroundings and form new friendships with graduate school students from the lab. We explored The Inner Harbor at night, attended a concert together one weekend, and even got to watch the Orioles lose (to nobody's surprise). Ironically, it's through these new friendships I discovered something unexpected: what I truly love is sharing research.
In the examples above, Renner switches adeptly between long, flowing sentences and quippy, telegraphic ones. At the same time, Renner uses these different sentence lengths intentionally. As they describe their experiences in new places, they use longer sentences to immerse the reader in the sights, smells, and sounds of those experiences. And when itâs time to get a big, key idea across, Renner switches to a short, punchy sentence to stop the reader in their tracks.
The varying syntax and sentence lengths pull the reader into the narrative and set up crucial âahaâ moments when itâs most importantâŠwhich is a surefire way to make any college essay stand out.
Renner's essay is very strong, but there are still a few little things that could be improved.
Connecting the research experiences to the theme of âfinding the goldbug.â The essay begins and ends with Rennerâs connection to the idea of âfinding the goldbug.â And while this metaphor is deftly tied into the essayâs intro and conclusion, it isnât entirely clear what Rennerâs big findings were during the research experiences that are described in the middle of the essay. It would be great to add a sentence or two stating what Rennerâs big takeaways (or âgoldbugsâ) were from these experiences, which add more cohesion to the essay as a whole.
Give more details about discovering the world of nanomedicine. It makes sense that Renner wants to get into the details of their big research experiences as quickly as possible. After all, these are the details that show Rennerâs dedication to nanomedicine! But a smoother transition from the opening pickle car/goldbug story to Rennerâs âreal goldbugâ of nanoparticles would help the reader understand why nanoparticles became Rennerâs goldbug. Finding out why Renner is so motivated to study nanomedicineâand perhaps what put them on to this field of studyâwould help readers fully understand why Renner chose this path in the first place.
4 Essential Tips for Writing Your Own Essay
How can you use this discussion to better your own college essay? Here are some suggestions for ways to use this resource effectively.
#1: Get Help From the Experts
Getting your college applications together takes a lot of work and can be pretty intimidatin g. Essays are even more important than ever now that admissions processes are changing and schools are going test-optional and removing diversity standards thanks to new Supreme Court rulings . If you want certified expert help that really makes a difference, get started with PrepScholarâs Essay Editing and Coaching program. Our program can help you put together an incredible essay from idea to completion so that your application stands out from the crowd. We've helped students get into the best colleges in the United States, including Harvard, Stanford, and Yale. If you're ready to take the next step and boost your odds of getting into your dream school, connect with our experts today .
#2: Read Other Essays to Get Ideas for Your Own
As you go through the essays we've compiled for you above, ask yourself the following questions:
- Can you explain to yourself (or someone else!) why the opening sentence works well?
- Look for the essay's detailed personal anecdote. What senses is the author describing? Can you easily picture the scene in your mind's eye?
- Find the place where this anecdote bridges into a larger insight about the author. How does the essay connect the two? How does the anecdote work as an example of the author's characteristic, trait, or skill?
- Check out the essay's tone. If it's funny, can you find the places where the humor comes from? If it's sad and moving, can you find the imagery and description of feelings that make you moved? If it's serious, can you see how word choice adds to this tone?
Make a note whenever you find an essay or part of an essay that you think was particularly well-written, and think about what you like about it . Is it funny? Does it help you really get to know the writer? Does it show what makes the writer unique? Once you have your list, keep it next to you while writing your essay to remind yourself to try and use those same techniques in your own essay.
#3: Find Your "A-Ha!" Moment
All of these essays rely on connecting with the reader through a heartfelt, highly descriptive scene from the author's life. It can either be very dramatic (did you survive a plane crash?) or it can be completely mundane (did you finally beat your dad at Scrabble?). Either way, it should be personal and revealing about you, your personality, and the way you are now that you are entering the adult world.
Check out essays by authors like John Jeremiah Sullivan , Leslie Jamison , Hanif Abdurraqib , and Esmé Weijun Wang to get more examples of how to craft a compelling personal narrative.
#4: Start Early, Revise Often
Let me level with you: the best writing isn't writing at all. It's rewriting. And in order to have time to rewrite, you have to start way before the application deadline. My advice is to write your first draft at least two months before your applications are due.
Let it sit for a few days untouched. Then come back to it with fresh eyes and think critically about what you've written. What's extra? What's missing? What is in the wrong place? What doesn't make sense? Don't be afraid to take it apart and rearrange sections. Do this several times over, and your essay will be much better for it!
For more editing tips, check out a style guide like Dreyer's English or Eats, Shoots & Leaves .
What's Next?
Still not sure which colleges you want to apply to? Our experts will show you how to make a college list that will help you choose a college that's right for you.
Interested in learning more about college essays? Check out our detailed breakdown of exactly how personal statements work in an application , some suggestions on what to avoid when writing your essay , and our guide to writing about your extracurricular activities .
Working on the rest of your application? Read what admissions officers wish applicants knew before applying .
The recommendations in this post are based solely on our knowledge and experience. If you purchase an item through one of our links PrepScholar may receive a commission.
Anna scored in the 99th percentile on her SATs in high school, and went on to major in English at Princeton and to get her doctorate in English Literature at Columbia. She is passionate about improving student access to higher education.
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21 Stellar Common App Essay Examples to Inspire Your College Essay
Whatâs covered:, what makes a good common app essay, is your common app essay strong enough.
When you begin writing your Common App essay, having an example to look at can help you understand how to effectively write your college essay so that it stands apart from others.Â
These Common App essay examples demonstrate a strong writing ability and answer the prompt in a way that shows admissions officers something unique about the student. Once youâve read some examples and are ready to get started, read our step-by-step guide for how to write a strong Common App essay. Â
Please note: Looking at examples of real essays students have submitted to colleges can be very beneficial to get inspiration for your essays. You should never copy or plagiarize from these examples when writing your own essays. Colleges can tell when an essay isnât genuine and will not view students favorably if they plagiarized.Â
Read our Common App essay breakdown to get a comprehensive overview of this yearâs supplemental prompts.
Itâs Personal
The point of the Common App essay is to humanize yourself to a college admissions committee. The ultimate goal is to get them to choose you over someone else! You will have a better chance of achieving this goal if the admissions committee feels personally connected to you or invested in your story. When writing your Common App essay, you should explore your feelings, worldview, values, desires, and anything else that makes you uniquely you.
Itâs Not ClichĂ©
It is pretty easy to resort to clichĂ©s in college essays. This should be actively avoided! CollegeVine has identified the immigrantâs journey, sports injuries, and overcoming a challenging course as clichĂ© topics . If you write about one of these topics, you have to work harder to stand out, so working with a more nuanced topic is often safer and easier.
Itâs Well-Done
Colleges want good writers. They want students who can articulate their thoughts clearly and concisely (and creatively!). You should be writing and rewriting your essays, perfecting them as you go. Of course, make sure that your grammar and spelling are impeccable, but also put in time crafting your tone and finding your voice. This will also make your essay more personal and will make your reader feel more connected to you!
Itâs Cohesive
Compelling Common App essays tell a cohesive story. Cohesion is primarily achieved through effective introductions and conclusions , which often contribute to the establishment of a clear theme or topic. Make sure that it is clear what you are getting at, but also donât explicitly state what you are getting atâa successful essay speaks for itself.
Common App Essay Examples
Here are the current Common App prompts. Click the links to jump to the examples for a specific prompt, or keep reading to review the examples for all the prompts.
Prompt #1 : Â Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Prompt #2 :Â The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Prompt #3 : Â Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Prompt #4 : Reflect on something that someone has done for you that has made you happy or thankful in a surprising way. How has this gratitude affected or motivated you? (NOTE: We only have an example for the old prompt #4 about solving a problem, not this current one)
Prompt #5 : Â Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Prompt #6 : Â Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
Prompt #7 : Â Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one youâve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Note: Names have been changed to protect the identity of the author and subjects.
Prompt #1: Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
Prompt #1, example #1.
The room was silent except for the thoughts racing through my head. I led a spade from my hand and my opponent paused for a second, then played a heart. The numbers ran through my mind as I tried to consider every combination, calculating my next move. Finally, I played the ace of spades from the dummy and the rest of my clubs, securing the contract and 620 points when my partner ruffed at trick five. Next board.
It was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Womenâs Championship. The winning team would be selected to represent the United States in the world championship and my team was still in the running.
Contract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game. Players from around the world gather at local clubs, regional events, and, in this case, national tournaments.
Going into the tournament, my team was excited; all the hours we had put into the game, from the lengthy midnight Skype sessions spent discussing boards to the coffee shop meetings spent memorizing conventions together, were about to pay off.
Halfway through, our spirits were still high, as we were only down by fourteen international match points which, out of the final total of about four hundred points, was virtually nothing and it was very feasible to catch up. Our excitement was short-lived, however, as sixty boards later, we found that we had lost the match and would not be chosen as the national team.
Initially, we were devastated. We had come so close and it seemed as if all the hours we had devoted to training had been utterly wasted. Yet as our team spent some time together reflecting upon the results, we gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasnât only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passion. I chatted with the winning team and even befriended a few of them who offered us encouragement and advice.
Throughout my bridge career, although Iâve gained a respectable amount of masterpoints and awards, Iâve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met. I donât need to travel cross-country to learn; every time I sit down at a table whether it be during a simple club game, a regional tournament or a national event, I find Iâm always learning.Â
I nod at the pair thatâs always yelling at each other. They teach me the importance of sportsmanship and forgiveness.
I greet the legally blind man who can defeat most of the seeing players. He reminds me not to make excuses.
I chat with the friendly, elderly couple who, at ages ninety and ninety-two, have just gotten married two weeks ago. They teach me that itâs never too late to start anything.
I talk to the boy whoâs attending Harvard and the girl who forewent college to start her own company. They show me that there is more than one path to success.
I congratulate the little kid running to his dad, excited to have won his very first masterpoints. He reminds me of the thrill of every first time and to never stop trying new things.
Just as much as I have benefitted from these life lessons, I aspire to give back to my bridge community as much as it has given me. I aspire to teach people how to play this complicated yet equally as exciting game. I aspire to never stop improving myself, both at and away from the bridge table.
Bridge has given me my roots and dared me to dream. What started as merely a hobby has become a community, a passion, a part of my identity. I aspire to live selflessly and help others reach their goals. I seek to take risks, embrace all results, even failure, and live unfettered from my own doubt.
This student draws readers in with a strong introduction. The essay starts ambiguousââI led with a spadeââthen intrigues readers by gradually revealing more information and details. This makes the reader want to keep reading (which is super important!) As the writer continues, there is a rather abrupt tone shift from suspenseful to explanatory with statements like âIt was the final of the 2015 United States Bridge Federation Under-26 Womenâs Championshipâ and âContract bridge is a strategic and stochastic card game.â If you plan to start with an imagery-heavy, emotional, suspenseful, or dramatic introduction, you will need to transition to the content of your essay in a way that does not feel abrupt.Â
You will often hear that essays need to âshow, not tell.â This essay actually does both. First, the student tells readers the importance of bridge, saying âwe gradually realized that the true value that we had gained wasnât only the prospect of winning the national title, but also the time we had spent together exploring our shared passionâ and âIâve realized that the real reward comes from the extraordinary people I have met.â Then, the student shows the lessons they have learned from bridge through a series of parallel sentences: âI nod⊠sportsmanship and forgivenessâ âI greet⊠not to make excusesâ âI chat⊠itâs never too late to start anythingâ and so on. This latter strategy is much more effective than the former and is watered down because the student has already told us what we are supposed to get out of these sentences. Remember that your readers are intelligent and can draw their own conclusions. Avoid summarizing the moral of your story for them!
Overall, this essay is interesting and answers the prompt. We learn the importance of bridge to this student. The student has a solid grasp of language, a high-level vocabulary, and a valuable message, though they would be better off if they avoided summarizing their point and created more seamless transitions.Â
Prompt #1, Example #2
Growing up, I always wanted to eat, play, visit, watch, and be it all: sloppy joes and spaetzle, Beanie Babies and Steiff, Cape Cod and the Baltic Sea, football and fussball, American and German.
My American parents relocated our young family to Berlin when I was three years old. My exposure to America was limited to holidays spent stateside and awfully dubbed Disney Channel broadcasts. As the few memories I had of living in the US faded, my affinity for Germany grew. I began to identify as âGermerican,â an ideal marriage of the two cultures. As a child, I viewed my biculturalism as a blessing. I possessed a native fluency in âDenglischâ and my familyâs Halloween parties were legendary at a time when the holiday was just starting to gain popularity outside of the American Sector.
Insidiously, the magic I once felt in loving two homes was replaced by a deep-Ârooted sense of rootlessness. I stopped feeling American when, while discussing World War II with my grandmother, I said âthe US won.â She corrected me, insisting I use âweâ when referring to the USâs actions. Before then, I hadnât realized how directly people associated themselves with their countries. I stopped feeling German during the World Cup when my friends labeled me a âbandwagon fanâ for rooting for Germany. Until that moment, my cheers had felt sincere. I wasnât part of the âweâ who won World Wars or World Cups. Caught in a twilight of foreign and familiar, I felt emotionally and psychologically disconnected from the two cultures most familiar to me.
After moving from Berlin to New York at age fifteen, my feelings of cultural homelessness thrived in my new environment. Looking and sounding American furthered my feelings of dislocation. Border patrol agents, teachers, classmates, neighbors, and relatives all âwelcomed me homeâ to a land they could not understand was foreign to me. Americans confused me as I relied on Urban Dictionary to understand my peers, the Pledge of Allegiance seemed nationalistic, and the only thing familiar about Fahrenheit was the German after whom it was named. Too German for America and too American for Germany, I felt alienated from both. I wanted desperately to be a member of one, if not both, cultures.
During my first weeks in Scarsdale, I spent my free time googling âBerlin Family Seeks Teenâ and âNew Americans in Scarsdale.â The latter search proved most fruitful: I discovered Horizons, a nonprofit that empowers resettled refugees, or âNew Americans,â to thrive. I started volunteering with Horizonâs childrenâs programs, playing with and tutoring young refugees.
It was there that I met Emily, a twelveÂ-year-Âold Iraqi girl who lived next to Horizons. In between games and snacks, Emily would ask me questions about American life, touching on everything from Halloween to President Obama. Gradually, my confidence in my American identity grew as I recognized my ability to answer most of her questions. American culture was no longer completely foreign to me. I found myself especially qualified to work with young refugees; my experience growing up in a country other than that of my parentsâ was similar enough to that of the refugee children Horizons served that I could empathize with them and offer advice. Together, we worked through conflicting allegiances, homesickness, and stretched belonging.
Forging a special, personal bond with young refugees proved a cathartic outlet for my insecurities as it taught me to value my past. My transculturalism allowed me to help young refugees integrate into American life, and, in doing so, I was able to adjust myself. Now, I have an appreciation of myself that I never felt before. âHomeâ isnât the digits in a passport or ZIP code but a sense of contentedness. By helping a young refugee find comfort, happiness, and home in America, I was finally able to find those same things for myself.
Due to their endearing (and creative) use of languageâwith early phrases like âsloppy joes and spaetzleâ as well as âGermericanâ and âDenglischââreaders are inclined to like this writer from the get-go. Though the essay shifts from this lighthearted introduction to more serious subject matter around the third paragraph, the shift is not abrupt or jarring. This is because the student invites readers to feel the transition with them through their inclusion of various anecdotes that inspired their âfeelings of cultural homelessness.â And our journey does not end thereâwe go back to America with the student and see how their former struggles become strengths.
Ultimately, this essay is successful due to its satisfying ending. Because readers experience the studentâs struggles with them, we also feel the resolution. The conclusion of this essay is a prime example of the âSame, but Differentâ technique described in our article on How to End Your College Essay . As the student describes how, in the end, their complicated cultural identity still exists but transitions to a source of strength, readers are left feeling happy for the student. This means that they have formed a connection with the student, which is the ultimate goal!
Prompt #1, Example #3
â1âŠ2âŠ3âŠ4 pirouettes ! New record!â My friends cheered as I landed my turns. Pleased with my progress, I gazed down at my worn-out pointe shoes. The sweltering blisters, numbing ice-baths, and draining late-night practices did not seem so bad after all. Next goal: five turns.
For as long as I can remember, ballet, in all its finesse and glamor, had kept me driven day to day. As a child, the lithe ballerinas, donning ethereal costumes as they floated across the stage, were my motivation. While others admired Messi and Adele, I idolized Carlos Acosta, principal dancer of the Royal Ballet.Â
As I devoted more time and energy towards my craft, I became obsessed with improving my technique. I would stretch for hours after class, forcing my leg one inch higher in an effort to mirror the Dance Magazine cover girls . I injured my feet and ruined pair after pair of pointe shoes, turning on wood, cement, and even grass to improve my balance as I spun. At competitions, the dancers with the 180-degree leg extensions, endless turns, and soaring leapsâthe ones who received âBravos!â from the roaring audienceâfurther pushed me to refine my skills and perfect my form. I believed that, with enough determination, I would one day attain their level of perfection. Reaching the quadruple- pirouette milestone only intensified my desire to accomplish even more.Â
My efforts seemed to have come to fruition two summers ago when I was accepted to dance with Moscowâs Bolshoi Ballet at their renowned New York City summer intensive. I walked into my first session eager to learn from distinguished ballet masters and worldly dancers, already anticipating my improvement. Yet, as I danced alongside the accomplished ballerinas, I felt out of place. Despite their clean technique and professional training, they did not aim for glorious leg extensions or prodigious leaps. When they performed their turn combinations, most of them only executed two turns as I attempted four.Â
âDancers, double- pirouettes only.âÂ
Taken aback and confused, I wondered why our teacher expected so little from us. The other ballerinas seemed content, gracing the studio with their simple movements.Â
As I grew closer with my Moscow roommates, I gradually learned that their training emphasized the history of the art form instead of stylistic tricks. Rather than show off their physical ability, their performances aimed to convey a story, one that embodied the rich culture of ballet and captured both the legacy of the dancers before them and their own artistry. As I observed my friends more intently in repertoire class, I felt the pain of the grief-stricken white swan from Swan Lake , the sass of the flirtatious Kitri from Don Quijote, and I gradually saw what I had overlooked before. My definition of talent had been molded by crowd-pleasing elementsâwhirring pirouettes , gravity-defying leaps, and mind-blowing leg extensions. This mindset slowly stripped me from the roots of my passion and my personal connection with ballet.Â
With the Bolshoi, I learned to step back and explore the meaning behind each step and the people behind the scenes. Ballet carries history in its movements, from the societal values of the era to each choreographerâs unique flair. As I uncovered the messages behind each pirouette, kick, and jump, my appreciation for ballet grew beyond my obsession with raw athleticism and developed into a love for the art formâs emotive abilities in bridging the dancers with the audience. My journey as an artist has allowed me to see how technical execution is only the means to a greater understanding between dancer and spectator, between storyteller and listener. The elegance and complexity of ballet does not revolve around astonishing stunts but rather the evocative strength and artistry manifested in the dancer, in me. It is the combination of sentiments, history, tradition, and passion that has allowed ballet and its lessons of human connection to become my lifestyle both on and off stage.
The primary strength of this essay is the honesty and authenticity of the studentâs writing. It is purposefully reflective. Intentional language creates a clear character arc that begins with an eager young ballerina and ends with the student reflecting on their past.Â
Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writerâs engagement with words like âobsessed,â âforcing,â and âruinedâ in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they âwondered why our teacher expected so little from us.â And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the studentâs musings about ballet in the concl usion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)
The main weakness of this essay (though this is a stellar essay) is its formulaic beginning. While dialogue can be an effective tool for starting your essay, this studentâs introduction feels a bit stilted as the dialogue does not match the overall reflective tone of the essay. Perhaps, in place of âNext goal: five turns,â the student could have posed a question or foreshadowed the growth they ultimately describe.
Prompt #1, Example #4
My paintbrush dragged a flurry of acrylic, the rich colors attaching to each groove in my canvasâs texture. The feeling was euphoric.
From a young age, painting has been my solace. Between the stress of my packed high school days filled with classes and extracurriculars, the glide of my paintbrush was my emotional outlet.
I opened a fresh canvas and began. The amalgamation of assorted colors in my palette melded harmoniously: dark and light, cool and warm, brilliant and dull. They conjoined, forming shades and surfaces sharp, smooth, and ridged. The textures of my paint strokes â powdery, glossy, jagged â gave my painting a tone, as if it had a voice of its own, sometimes shrieking, sometimes whispering.
Rough indigo blue. The repetitive upward pulls of my brush formed layers on my canvas. Staring into the deep blue, I felt transported to the bottom of the pool I swim in daily. I looked upward to see a layer of dense water between myself and the person I aspire to be, an ideal blurred by filmy ripples. Rough blue encapsulates my amorphous, conflicting identity, catalyzed by words spewed by my peers about my âoily hairâ and âsmelly foodâ. They caused my ever present disdain toward cultural assemblies; the lehenga I wore felt burdensome. My identity quivers like the indigo storm I painted â a duel between my self-deprecating, validation-seeking self, and the proud self I desire to be. My haphazard paint strokes released my internal turbulence.
Smooth orange-hued green. I laid the color in melodious strokes, forming my figure. The warmer green transitions from the rough blue â while they share elements, they also diverge. My firm brushstrokes felt like the way I felt on my first day as a media intern at KBOO, my local volunteer-driven radio station, committed to the voices of the marginalized. As a naturally introverted speaker, I was forced out of my comfort zone when tasked with documenting a KBOO art exhibition for social media, speaking with hosts to share their diverse, underrepresented backgrounds and inspirations. A rhythmic green strength soon shoved me past internal blue turbulence. My communication skills which were built by two years of Speech and Debate unleashed â I recognized that making a social change through media required amplifying unique voices and perspectives, both my own and others. The powerful green strokes that fill my canvas entrench my growth.
Bright, voluminous coral, hinted with magenta and yellow. I dabbed the color over my figure, giving my painting dimension. The paint, speckled, added depth on every inch it coated. As I moved the color in random but purposeful movements, the vitality ushered into my painting brought a smile across my face. It reminded me of the encounters I had with my cubicle-mate in my sophomore year academic autism research internship, seemingly insignificant moments in my lifelong journey that, in retrospect, wove unique threads into my tapestry. The kindness she brought into work inspired my compassion, while her stories of struggling with ADHD in the workplace bolstered my empathy towards different experiences. Our conversations added blobs of a nonuniform bright color in my painting, binding a new perspective in me.
I added in my final strokes, each contributing an element to my piece. As I scanned my canvas, I observed these elements. Detail added nuance into smaller pictures; they embodied complexities within color, texture, and hue, each individually delivering a narrative. But together, they formed a piece of artâ art that could be interpreted as a whole or broken apart but still delivering as a means of communication.
I find beauty in media because of this. I can adapt a complex narrative to be deliverable, each component telling a story. Appreciating these nuances â the light, dark, smooth, and rough â has cultivated my growth mindset. My life-long painting never finishes. It is ever-expanding, absorbing the novel textures and colors I encounter daily.
This essay is distinct from others due to its melodic, lyrical form. This is primarily achieved because the studentâs form follows the movements of the paintbrush that they use to scaffold their essay. As readers, we simply flow through the essay, occasionally picking up bits of information about its creator. Without even realizing it, by the end of the essay, admissions officers will know that this student is a swimmer, was in Speech and Debate, is Indian, and has had multiple internships.
A major strength of this essay is the command of language that the student demonstrates. This essay was not simply written, it was crafted. Universities are, of course, interested in the talents, goals, and interests of applicants, but an essay being well-written can be equally important. Writing skills are important because your reader will not learn about your talents, goals, and interests if they arenât engaged in your essay, but they are also important because admissions officers know that being able to articulate your thoughts is important for success in all future careers.
While this essay is well-written, there are a few moments where it falls out of the flow and feels more like a student advertising their successes. For example, the phrases âmedia intern at KBOOâ and âautism research internshipâ work better on a resume than they do in this essay. Admissions officers have a copy of your resume and can check your internship experiences after reading your essay! If you are going to use a unique writing style or narrative form, lean into it; donât try to hybridize it with the standard college essay form. Your boldness will be attractive to admissions officers.
Readers are easily able to picture the passion and intensity of the young dancer through the writerâs engagement with words like âobsessed,â âforcing,â and âruinedâ in the second paragraph. Then, we see how intensity becomes pride as they âwondered why our teacher expected so little from us.â And ultimately, we see the writer humbled as they are exposed to the deeper meaning behind what they have worked so hard for. This arc is outstanding, and the studentâs musings about ballet in the conclusion position them as vulnerable and reflective (and thus, appealing to admissions officers!)
Prompt #2: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
Prompt #2, example #1.
âYou ruined my life!â After months of quiet anger, my brother finally confronted me. To my shame, I had been appallingly ignorant of his pain.
Despite being twins, Max and I are profoundly different. Having intellectual interests from a young age that, well, interested very few of my peers, I often felt out of step in comparison with my highly-social brother. Everything appeared to come effortlessly for Max and, while we share an extremely tight bond, his frequent time away with friends left me feeling more and more alone as we grew older.
When my parents learned about The Green Academy, we hoped it would be an opportunity for me to find not only an academically challenging environment, but also â perhaps more importantly â a community. This meant transferring the family from Drumfield to Kingston. And while there was concern about Max, we all believed that given his sociable nature, moving would be far less impactful on him than staying put might be on me.
As it turned out, Green Academy was everything Iâd hoped for. I was ecstatic to discover a group of students with whom I shared interests and could truly engage. Preoccupied with new friends and a rigorous course load, I failed to notice that the tables had turned. Max, lost in the fray and grappling with how to make connections in his enormous new high school, had become withdrawn and lonely. It took me until Christmas time â and a massive argument â to recognize how difficult the transition had been for my brother, let alone that he blamed me for it.
Through my own journey of searching for academic peers, in addition to coming out as gay when I was 12, I had developed deep empathy for those who had trouble fitting in. It was a pain I knew well and could easily relate to. Yet after Maxâs outburst, my first response was to protest that our parents â not I â had chosen to move us here. In my heart, though, I knew that regardless of who had made the decision, we ended up in Kingston for my benefit. I was ashamed that, while I saw myself as genuinely compassionate, I had been oblivious to the heartache of the person closest to me. I could no longer ignore it â and I didnât want to.
We stayed up half the night talking, and the conversation took an unexpected turn. Max opened up and shared that it wasnât just about the move. He told me how challenging school had always been for him, due to his dyslexia, and that the ever-present comparison to me had only deepened his pain.
We had been in parallel battles the whole time and, yet, I only saw that Max was in distress once he experienced problems with which I directly identified. Iâd long thought Max had it so easy â all because he had friends. The truth was, he didnât need to experience my personal brand of sorrow in order for me to relate â he had felt plenty of his own.
My failure to recognize Maxâs suffering brought home for me the profound universality and diversity of personal struggle; everyone has insecurities, everyone has woes, and everyone â most certainly â has pain. I am acutely grateful for the conversations he and I shared around all of this, because I believe our relationship has been fundamentally strengthened by a deeper understanding of one another. Further, this experience has reinforced the value of constantly striving for deeper sensitivity to the hidden struggles of those around me. I wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying story.
Here is a prime example that you donât have to have fabulous imagery or flowery prose to write a successful Common App essay. You just have to be clear and say something that matters. This essay is simple and beautiful. It almost feels like having a conversation with a friend and learning that they are an even better person than you already thought they were.
Through this narrative, readers learn a lot about the writerâwhere theyâre from, what their family life is like, what their challenges were as a kid, and even their sexuality. We also learn a lot about their valuesânotably, the value they place on awareness, improvement, and consideration of others. Though they never explicitly state it (which is great because it is still crystal clear!), this studentâs ending of âI wonât make the mistake again of assuming that the surface of someoneâs life reflects their underlying storyâ shows that they are constantly striving for improvement and finding lessons anywhere they can get them in life.
The only part of this essay that could use a bit of work is the introduction. A short introduction can be effective, but this short first paragraph feels thrown in at the last minute and like it is missing its second half. If you are keeping your introduction short, make it matter.
Prompt #2, Example #2
Was I no longer the beloved daughter of nature, whisperer of trees? Knee-high rubber boots, camouflage, bug sprayâI wore the garb and perfume of a proud wild woman, yet there I was, hunched over the pathetic pile of stubborn sticks, utterly stumped, on the verge of tears. As a child, I had considered myself a kind of rustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free. I knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palms. Yet here I was, ten years later, incapable of performing the most fundamental outdoor task: I could not, for the life of me, start a fire.Â
Furiously I rubbed the twigs togetherârubbed and rubbed until shreds of skin flaked from my fingers. No smoke. The twigs were too young, too sticky-green; I tossed them away with a shower of curses, and began tearing through the underbrush in search of a more flammable collection. My efforts were fruitless. Livid, I bit a rejected twig, determined to prove that the forest had spurned me, offering only young, wet bones that would never burn. But the wood cracked like carrots between my teethâold, brittle, and bitter. Roaring and nursing my aching palms, I retreated to the tent, where I sulked and awaited the jeers of my family.Â
Rattling their empty worm cans and reeking of fat fish, my brother and cousins swaggered into the campsite. Immediately, they noticed the minor stick massacre by the fire pit and called to me, their deep voices already sharp with contempt.Â
âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â they taunted. âHaving some trouble?â They prodded me with the ends of the chewed branches and, with a few effortless scrapes of wood on rock, sparked a red and roaring flame. My face burned long after I left the fire pit. The camp stank of salmon and shame.Â
In the tent, I pondered my failure. Was I so dainty? Was I that incapable? I thought of my hands, how calloused and capable they had been, how tender and smooth they had become. It had been years since Iâd kneaded mud between my fingers; instead of scaling a white pine, Iâd practiced scales on my piano, my hands softening into those of a musicianâfleshy and sensitive. And Iâd gotten glasses, having grown horrifically nearsighted; long nights of dim lighting and thick books had done this. I couldnât remember the last time I had lain down on a hill, barefaced, and seen the stars without having to squint. Crawling along the edge of the tent, a spider confirmed my transformationâhe disgusted me, and I felt an overwhelming urge to squash him.Â
Yet, I realized I hadnât really changedâI had only shifted perspective. I still eagerly explored new worlds, but through poems and prose rather than pastures and puddles. Iâd grown to prefer the boom of a bass over that of a bullfrog, learned to coax a different kind of fire from wood, having developed a burn for writing rhymes and scrawling hypotheses.Â
That night, I stayed up late with my journal and wrote about the spider I had decided not to kill. I had tolerated him just barely, only shrieking when he jumpedâit helped to watch him decorate the corners of the tent with his delicate webs, knowing that he couldnât start fires, either. When the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.
This Common App essay is well-written. The student is showing the admissions officers their ability to articulate their points beautifully and creatively. It starts with vivid images like that of the ârustic princess, a cradler of spiders and centipedes, who was serenaded by mourning doves and chickadees, who could glide through tick-infested meadows and emerge Lyme-free.â And because the prose is flowery, the writer can get away with metaphors like âI knew the cracks of the earth like the scars on my own rough palmsâ that might sound cheesy without the clear command of the English language that the writer quickly establishes.
In addition to being well-written, this essay is thematically cohesive. It begins with the simple introduction âFire!â and ends with the following image: âWhen the night grew cold and the embers died, my words still smokedâmy hands burned from all that scrawlingâand even when I fell asleep, the ideas kept sparkingâI was on fire, always on fire.â This full-circle approach leaves readers satisfied and impressed.
While dialogue often comes off as cliche or trite, this student effectively incorporates their family members saying âWhereâs the fire, Princess Clara?â This is achieved through the apt use of the verb âtauntedâ to characterize the questioning and through the questionâs thematic connection to the earlier image of the student as a rustic princess. Similarly, rhetorical questions can feel randomly placed in essays, but this studentâs inclusion of the questions âWas I so dainty?â and âWas I that incapable?â feels perfectly justified after they establish that they were pondering their failure.
Quite simply, this essay shows how quality writing can make a simple story outstandingly compelling.
Prompt #2, Example #3
The muffled voices behind thin walls heralded trouble.
They were fighting about money.
It wasnât the first time this had happened and it wasnât going to be the last. It was one of those countless nights I had to spend curled up under the blanket while pretending to be asleep. My father had been unemployed for five years now, and my mother, a local kindergarten teacher, was struggling to support the family alone. Our situation was bleak: Savings had run out and my parents could no longer hide our lack of money from me. To make matters worse, I was a few weeks away from starting high school, which would inevitably lead to college, yet another financial stressor for my family.
The argument didnât sound like it would end soon.
âWhy did you spend money on that?â my mother said, with an elongated sigh.
âI had to,â my father said, decidedly.
Every fight over the years had left me in despair and the idea of going through another fight daunted me. I had looked forward to my teen years all my life, an age that allows, for the first time, more responsibility. Indeed, after this fateful night, after my fourteenth birthday, I felt a mounting responsibility to help my family, and started brainstorming.
Always being fascinated by computers, I spent my childhood burying myself under computer cabinets, experimenting with computer parts. Naturally, I wondered if my skills in this area might be marketable.
The next morning, my friend, Naba, mentioned that her computer wasnât working. A tuk-tuk ride later, and I was at her doorstep, and her mother was leading me to her room. I was off to work: I began examining her computer, like a surgeon carefully manages his scalpels and tools. A proper diagnosis was not far from reach, as I realized a broken pin in her computerâs SATA slot. After an hour of work, and a short trip to the hardware store, I successfully fixed the computer. To my pleasant surprise, Nabaâs mother drew out two fresh 500 Rupee notes. One covered the cost of the parts I bought and the other was a token of appreciation. Bidding her goodbye, I went straight back home and put one of the 500 Rupee notes inside my familyâs âsavings-jar.â
Later that day, I devised a plan. I told my friends to spread the word that I was available to fix computers. At first, I got only one or two calls per week. I would pick up the computer from my clientâs home, fix it quickly, and return it, thus earning myself a commission. While I couldnât market my services at a competitive price, because I wasnât able to buy the parts wholesale, I compensated by providing convenience. All my clients had to do was call me once and the rest was taken care of. Thus, my business had the best customer service in town.
At the beginning of my junior year, after two years of expanding my business through various avenues, I started buying computer parts from hardware suppliers in bulk at a cheaper rate. My business grew exponentially after that.Â
Before long, I was my townâs go-to tech person. In this journey throughout high school, I started realizing that I had to create my own opportunities and not just curl up under a blanket, seeking only comfort, as I used to. Interacting with people from all walks of life became my forte and a sense of work ethic developed in me. My business required me to be an all-rounderâ have the technical skills, be an easily approachable person, and manage cash flow. Slowly becoming better at this, I even managed to sway admins of a local institution to outsource their computer hardware purchases and repairs through me. As my business upsized throughout the years, I went from being helpless to autonomous â the teenager I always aspired to be.
This essay truly feels like a storyâalmost making you forget you are reading a college essay. The studentâs voice is strong throughout the entire essay and they are able to give us insight into their thoughts, feelings, and motivations at every step of the story. Letting the reader into personal challenges like financial struggles can be daunting in a college essay, but the way this student used that setback to establish an emotional ethos to their narrative was well done.
Because the essay is essentially just telling a story, thereâs a very natural flow that makes it enjoyable and easy to read. The student establishes the conflict at the beginning, then describes their solution and how they implemented it, and finally concludes with the lessons they took away from this experience. Transitions at the beginning of paragraphs effortlessly show the passage of time and how the student has progressed through the story.
Another reason this essay is so successful is because of the abundance of details. The reader truly feels like they are hiding in the room with the student as their parents yell because of the inclusion of quotes from the argument. We understand the precision and care they have for fixing computers because of the allusion to a surgeon with their scalpel. Not only does this imagery make the story more enticing, it also helps the reader gain a deeper appreciation for the type of person this student is and the adversity they have overcome.
If there were one thing this essay could do to improve, it would be to include a resolution to the conflict from the beginning. The student tells us how this business helped them grow as a person, but we donât ever get to find out if they were able to lessen the financial burden on their parents or if they continued to struggle despite the student working hard. It doesnât have to be a happy ending, but it would be nice to return to the conflict and acknowledge the effect they had on it, especially since this prompt is all about facing challenges.
Prompt #3: Reflect on a time when you questioned or challenged a belief or idea. What prompted your thinking? What was the outcome?
Prompt #3, example #1.
When I was younger, I was adamant that no two foods on my plate touch. As a result, I often used a second plate to prevent such an atrocity. In many ways, I learned to separate different things this way from my older brothers, Nate and Rob. Growing up, I idolized both of them. Nate was a performer, and I insisted on arriving early to his shows to secure front row seats, refusing to budge during intermission for fear of missing anything. Rob was a three-sport athlete, and I attended his games religiously, waving worn-out foam cougar paws and cheering until my voice was hoarse. My brothers were my role models. However, while each was talented, neither was interested in the otherâs passion. To me, they represented two contrasting ideals of what I could become: artist or athlete. I believed I had to choose.
And for a long time, I chose athlete. I played soccer, basketball, and lacrosse and viewed myself exclusively as an athlete, believing the arts were not for me. I conveniently overlooked that since the age of five, I had been composing stories for my family for Christmas, gifts that were as much for me as them, as I loved writing. So when in tenth grade, I had the option of taking a creative writing class, I was faced with a question: could I be an athlete and a writer? After much debate, I enrolled in the class, feeling both apprehensive and excited. When I arrived on the first day of school, my teacher, Ms. Jenkins, asked us to write down our expectations for the class. After a few minutes, eraser shavings stubbornly sunbathing on my now-smudged paper, I finally wrote, âI do not expect to become a published writer from this class. I just want this to be a place where I can write freely.â
Although the purpose of the class never changed for me, on the third âsubmission day,â â our time to submit writing to upcoming contests and literary magazines â I faced a predicament. For the first two submission days, I had passed the time editing earlier pieces, eventually (pretty quickly) resorting to screen snake when hopelessness made the words look like hieroglyphics. I must not have been as subtle as I thought, as on the third of these days, Ms. Jenkins approached me. After shifting from excuse to excuse as to why I did not submit my writing, I finally recognized the real reason I had withheld my work: I was scared. I did not want to be different, and I did not want to challenge not only othersâ perceptions of me, but also my own. I yielded to Ms. Jenkinâs pleas and sent one of my pieces to an upcoming contest.
By the time the letter came, I had already forgotten about the contest. When the flimsy white envelope arrived in the mail, I was shocked and ecstatic to learn that I had received 2nd place in a nationwide writing competition. The next morning, however, I discovered Ms. Jenkins would make an announcement to the whole school exposing me as a poet. I decided to own this identity and embrace my friendsâ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of me. I have since seen more boys at my school identifying themselves as writers or artists.
I no longer see myself as an athlete and a poet independently, but rather I see these two aspects forming a single inseparable identity â me. Despite their apparent differences, these two disciplines are quite similar, as each requires creativity and devotion. I am still a poet when I am lacing up my cleats for soccer practice and still an athlete when I am building metaphors in the back of my mind â and I have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.
This essay is cohesive as it centers around the theme of identity and the ability for two identities to coexist simultaneously (an interesting theme!). It uses the Full Circle ending strategy as it starts with a metaphor about food touching and ends with âI have realized ice cream and gummy bears taste pretty good together.â
The main issue with this essay is that it could come off as clichĂ©, which could be irritating for admissions officers. The story described is notably similar to High School Musical (âI decided to own this identity and embrace my friendsâ jokes and playful digs, and over time, they have learned to accept and respect this part of meâ) and feels slightly overstated.Â
At times, this essay is also confusing. In the first paragraph, it feels like the narrative is actually going to be about separating your food (and is somehow going to relate to the older brothers?). It is not entirely clear that this is a metaphor. Also, when the writer references the third submission day and then works backward to explain what a submission day is and that there are multiple throughout the semester, the timeline gets unnecessarily confusing. Reworking the way this paragraph unfolded would have been more compelling and less distracting.
Overall, this essay was interesting but could have been more polished to be more effective.
Prompt #3, Example #2
I walked into my middle school English class, and noticed a stranger behind my teacherâs desk. âHello,â she said. âToday I will be your substitute teacher.â I groaned internally. âLet me start off by calling roll. Ally?â âHere!â exclaimed Ally. âJack?â âHere.â âRachel?â âHere.â âFreddie?â âPresent.â And thenâ ââŠ?â The awkward pause was my cue. âItâs Jasina,â I started. âYou can just call me Jas. Here.â âOh, Jasina. Thatâs unique.â The word âuniqueâ made me cringe. I slumped back in my seat. The substitute continued calling roll, and class continued as if nothing had happened. Nothing had happened. Just a typical moment in a middle school, but I hated every second of it.
My name is not impossible to pronounce. It appears challenging initially, but once you hear it, âJas-een-aâ, then you can manage it. My nickname, Jas (pronounced âJazzâ), is what most people call me anyway, so I donât have to deal with mispronunciation often. I am thankful that my parents named me Jasina (a Hebrew name), but whenever someone hears my name for the first time, they comment, and I assume theyâre making assumptions about me. âWow, Jas is a cool name.â She must be pretty cool.âIâve never heard the name Jasina before.â She must be from somewhere exotic. âJas, like Jazz?â She must be musical and artsy. None of these assumptions are bad, but they all add up to the same thing: She must be unique.Â
When I was little, these sentiments felt more like commands than assumptions. I thought I had to be the most unique child of all time, which was a daunting task, but I tried. I was the only kid in the second grade to color the sun red. I knew it was really yellow, but you could always tell which drawings were mine. During snack time, we could choose between apple juice and grape juice. I liked apple juice more, but if everyone else was choosing apple, then I had to choose grape. This was how I lived my life, and it was exhausting. I tried to continue this habit into middle school, but it backfired. When everyone became obsessed with things like skinny jeans and Justin Bieber and blue mascara (that was a weird trend), my resistance of the norm made me socially awkward. I couldnât talk to people about anything because we had nothing in common. I was too different.Â
After 8th grade, I moved to Georgia, and I was dreading being the odd one out among kids who had grown up together. Then I discovered that my freshman year would be Cambridge High Schoolâs inaugural year. Since there were students coming in from 5 different schools, there was no real sense of ânormalâ. I panicked. If there was no normal, then how could I be unique? Thatâs when I realized that I had spent so much energy going against the grain that I had no idea what my true interests were or what I really cared about.Â
It was time to find out. I stopped concentrating on what everyone else was doing and started to focus on myself. I joined the basketball team, I performed in the school musical, and I enrolled in Chorus, all of which were firsts for me. I took art classes, joined clubs, and did whatever I thought would make me happy. And it paid off. I was no longer socially awkward. In fact, because I was involved in so many unrelated activities, I was socially flexible. My friends and I had things in common, but there was no one who could say that I was exactly like anyone else. I had finally become my own person.
My father named me Jasina because he wanted my nickname to be âJazz.â According to Webster, âjazzâ is âmusic characterized by syncopated rhythms, improvisation, and deliberate distortions of pitch.â Basically, jazz is music that is off-beat and unpredictable. It cannot be strictly defined.Â
That sounds about right.Â
Right off the bat, this essay starts extremely strong. The description of attendance in a class with ample quotes, awkward pauses, and the studentâs internal dialogue immediately puts us in the middle of the action and establishes a lot of sympathy for this student before weâve learned anything else.Â
The strength of this essay continues into the second paragraph where the use of quotes, italics, and interjections from the student continues. All of these literary tools help the student express her voice and allow the reader to understand what this student goes through on a daily basis. Rather than just telling the reader people make assumptions about her name, she shows us what these assumptions look and sound like, and exactly how they make her feel.
The essay further shows us how the student approached her name by providing concrete examples of times sheâs been intentionally unique throughout her life. Describing her drawing red suns and choosing grape juice bring her personality to life and allow her to express her deviance from the ânormâ in a much more engaging and visual way than simply telling the reader she would go against the grain to be different on purpose.
One part of the essay that was a bit weaker than the others was the paragraph about her in high school. Although it was still well written and did a nice job of demonstrating how she got involved in multiple groups to find her new identity, it lacked the same level of showing employed in previous paragraphs. It would have been nice to see what âsocially flexibleâ means either through a conversation she had with her friends or an example of a time she combined her interests from different groups in a way that was uniquely her.
The essay finishes off how it started: extremely strong. Taking a step back to fully explain the origin of her name neatly brings together everything mentioned in this essay. This ending is especially successful because she never explicitly states that her personality aligns with the definition of jazz. Instead, she relies on the points she has made throughout the essay to stick in the readerâs memory so they are able to draw the connection themselves, making for a much more satisfying ending for the reader.
Prompt #4 (OLD PROMPT; NOT THE CURRENT PROMPT): Describe a problem youâve solved or a problem youâd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma â anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.
Prompt #4, example #1.
âAdvanced females ages 13 to 14 please proceed to staging with your coaches at this time.âÂ
Skittering around the room, eyes wide and pleading, I frantically explained my situation to nearby coaches. The seconds ticked away in my head; every polite refusal increased my desperation.Â
Despair weighed me down. I sank to my knees as a stream of competitors, coaches, and officials flowed around me. My dojang had no coach, and the tournament rules prohibited me from competing without one.Â
Although I wanted to remain strong, doubts began to cloud my mind. I could not help wondering: what was the point of perfecting my skills if I would never even compete? The other members of my team, who had found coaches minutes earlier, attempted to comfort me, but I barely heard their words. They couldnât understand my despair at being left on the outside, and I never wanted them to understand.Â
Since my first lesson 12 years ago, the members of my dojang have become family. I have watched them grow up, finding my own happiness in theirs. Together, we have honed our kicks, blocks, and strikes. We have pushed one another to aim higher and become better martial artists. Although my dojang had searched for a reliable coach for years, we had not found one. When we attended competitions in the past, my teammates and I had always gotten lucky and found a sympathetic coach. Now, I knew this practice was unsustainable. It would devastate me to see the other members of my dojang in my situation, unable to compete and losing hope as a result. My dojang needed a coach, and I decided it was up to me to find one.Â
I first approached the adults in the dojang â both instructors and membersâ parents. However, these attempts only reacquainted me with polite refusals. Everyone I asked told me they couldnât devote multiple weekends per year to competitions. I soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.Â
At first, the inner workings of tournaments were a mystery to me. To prepare myself for success as a coach, I spent the next year as an official and took coaching classes on the side. I learned everything from motivational strategies to technical, behind-the-scenes components of Taekwondo competitions. Though I emerged with new knowledge and confidence in my capabilities, others did not share this faith.Â
Parents threw me disbelieving looks when they learned that their childrenâs coach was only a child herself. My self-confidence was my armor, deflecting their surly glances. Every armor is penetrable, however, and as the relentless barrage of doubts pounded my resilience, it began to wear down. I grew unsure of my own abilities.Â
Despite the attack, I refused to give up. When I saw the shining eyes of the youngest students preparing for their first competition, I knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was. The knowledge that I could solve my dojangâs longtime problem motivated me to overcome my apprehension.Â
Now that my dojang flourishes at competitions, the attacks on me have weakened, but not ended. I may never win the approval of every parent; at times, I am still tormented by doubts, but I find solace in the fact that members of my dojang now only worry about competing to the best of their abilities.Â
Now, as I arrive at a tournament with my students, I close my eyes and remember the past. I visualize the frantic search for a coach and the chaos amongst my teammates as we competed with one another to find coaches before the staging calls for our respective divisions. I open my eyes to the exact opposite scene. Lacking a coach hurt my ability to compete, but I am proud to know that no member of my dojang will have to face that problem again.
This essay is great because it has a strong introduction and a strong conclusion. The introduction is notably suspenseful and draws readers into the story. Because we know it is a college essay, we can assume that the student is one of the competitors, but at the same time, this introduction feels intentionally ambiguous as if the writer could be a competitor, a coach, a sibling of a competitor, or anyone else in the situation.
As we continue reading the essay, we learn that the writer is, in fact, the competitor. Readers also learn a lot about the studentâs values as we hear their thoughts: âI knew I couldnât let them down. To quit would be to set them up to be barred from competing like I was.â Ultimately, the conflict and inner and outer turmoil is resolved through the âSame, but Differentâ ending technique as the student places themself in the same environment that we saw in the intro, but experiencing it differently due to their actions throughout the narrative. This is a very compelling strategy!
The main weakness of this essay is that it is slightly confusing at timesâhow the other students found coaches feels unintentionally under-explained (a simple phrase like âthrough pleading and attracting sympathyâ in the fourth paragraph could have served the writer well) and a dojang is never defined. Additionally, the turn of the essay or âvoltaâ couldâve packed a bigger punch. It is put quite simply with âI soon realized that I would have become the coach myself.â A more suspenseful reveal couldâve served the author well because more drama did come later.
Prompt #5: Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.
Prompt #5, example #1.
Tears streamed down my face and my mind was paralyzed with fear. Sirens blared, but the silent panic in my own head was deafening. I was muted by shock. A few hours earlier, I had anticipated a vacation in Washington, D.C., but unexpectedly, I was rushing to the hospital behind an ambulance carrying my mother. As a fourteen-year-old from a single mother household, without a driverâs license, and seven hours from home, I was distraught over the prospect of losing the only parent I had. My fear turned into action as I made some of the bravest decisions of my life.Â
Three blood transfusions later, my motherâs condition was stable, but we were still states away from home, so I coordinated with my motherâs doctors in North Carolina to schedule the emergency operation that would save her life. Throughout her surgery, I anxiously awaited any word from her surgeon, but each time I asked, I was told that there had been another complication or delay. Relying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities.
My mother had been a source of strength for me, and now I would be strong for her through her long recovery ahead. As I started high school, everyone thought the crisis was over, but it had really just started to impact my life. My mother was often fatigued, so I assumed more responsibility, juggling family duties, school, athletics, and work. I made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recover. I didnât know I was capable of such maturity and resourcefulness until it was called upon. Each day was a stage in my gradual transformation from dependence to relative independence.
Throughout my motherâs health crisis, I matured by learning to put othersâ needs before my own. As I worried about my motherâs health, I took nothing for granted, cherished what I had, and used my daily activities as motivation to move forward. I now take ownership over small decisions such as scheduling daily appointments and managing my time but also over major decisions involving my future, including the college admissions process. Although I have become more independent, my mother and I are inseparably close, and the realization that I almost lost her affects me daily. Each morning, I wake up ten minutes early simply to eat breakfast with my mother and spend time with her before our busy days begin. I am aware of how quickly life can change. My mother remains a guiding force in my life, but the feeling of empowerment I discovered within myself is the ultimate form of my independence. Though I thought the summer before my freshman year would be a transition from middle school to high school, it was a transformation from childhood to adulthood.
This essay feels real and tells readers a lot about the writer. To start at the beginning, the intro is 10/10. It has drama, it has emotions, and it has the reader wanting more.
And, when you keep going, you get to learn a lot about a very resilient and mature student. Through sentences like âI made countless trips to the neighborhood pharmacy, cooked dinner, biked to the grocery store, supported my concerned sister, and provided the loving care my mother needed to recoverâ and âRelying on my faith and positive attitude, I remained optimistic that my mother would survive and that I could embrace new responsibilities,â the reader shows us that they are aware of their resilience and maturity, but are not arrogant about it. It is simply a fact that they have proven!
Sometimes writing about adversity can feel exploitative or oddly braggy. This student backs up everything they say with anecdotes that prove and show their strength and resilience, rather than just claiming their strengths. When I read this essay, I want to cheer for its writer! And I want to be able to continue cheering for them (perhaps, if I were an admissions officer, that would make me want them at my school!).
Prompt #5, Example #2
Armed with a red pen, I slowly walked across the room to a small, isolated table with pink stools. Swinging her legs, my young student beamed and giggled at me, slamming her pencil bag on the table and bending over to pick up one of her toys. Natalie always brought some new toy with her to lessonsâtoys which I would sternly take away from her and place under the table until she finished her work. At the tutoring center where I work, a strict emphasis on discipline leaves no room for paper crowns or rubber chickens.Â
Today, she had with her a large stuffed eagle from a museum. As she pulled out her papers, I slid the eagle to the other side of the table. She looked eagerly around, attempting to chat with other students as I impatiently called her attention to her papers. âI should name my eagle,â she chimed, waving her pencil in the air. I cringedâthere was no wondering why Natalie always had to sit by herself. She was the antithesis of my academic values, and undoubtedly the greatest adversary of my teaching style. Â
As the lesson progressed, Natalie became more fitful; she refused to release her feathered friend, and kept addressing the bird for help with difficult problems. We both grew increasingly more frustrated. Determined to tame this wryly, wiggling student, I stood my ground, set on converting this disobedient child to my calm, measured ways of study. Â
As time slowly crept by, I noticed that despite Natalieâs cheerful tone and bright smile, the stuffed eagle was troublesomely quiet and stern-faced. Much like myself. Both the eagle and I were getting nowhere in this lessonâso we hatched a quick plan. Lifting the eagle up in the air, I started reading in my best impersonation of an eagle, squawking my way through a spelling packet. The result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed. She sang out every letter, clapped her hands at every page, and followed along with the eagle, stopping at every few letters to declare that âE is for eagleâ and pet her teacher fondly on the beak. Â
Despite my ostensibly dissatisfied attitude toward my students, I did not join the tutoring center simply to earn money. I had always aspired to help others achieve their fullest potential. As a young adult, I felt that it was time for me to step out of the role of a pupil and into the influential role of a teacher, naively believing that I had the maturity and skill to adapt to any situation and help these students reach their highest achievements academically. For the most part, the role of a stern-faced, strict instructor helped me get by in the workplace, and while my students never truly looked happy, I felt that it was part of the process of conditioning a child to learn.Â
Ironically, my transition to adulthood was the result of a stuffed animal. It was indisputable that I always had the skill to instruct others; the only thing needed to instruct someone is knowledge of the subject. However, it was only upon being introduced to a stuffed bird in which I realized that students receive the most help not from instructors, but teachers. While almost anyone can learn material and spit it back out for someone, it takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens. From my young pupil and her little bird, I have undergone a change in attitude which reflects a growth in maturity and ability to improve the lives of others that I hope to implement in my future role as a student, activist, and physician. My newfound maturity taught me that the letter âeâ stands for many things: empathy, experience, enthusiasm, and eagle.
In this essay, the student effectively explores their values (and how they learned them!) then identifies these values through a reflective conclusion. While the writer humbly recognizes the initial faults in their teaching style, they do not position their initial discipline or rigidity as mean or poorly intentionedâsimply ineffective. This is important because, when you are discussing a transition like this, you donât want admissions officers to think of you as having been a bad person.Â
My favorite part about this essay is its subtlety. The major shift in the essay comes through the simple sentence âThe result provided a sense of instant gratification I never knew I needed.â The facts of this narrative are not too complicated. Simply put, the writer was strict then learned that itâs sometimes more effective not to be strict. The complexity of this narrative comes through reflection. Notably, through the ending, the student identifies their values (which they hadnât given a name to before): âit takes the maturity and passion of a teacher not only to help students improve in their students, but also to motivate them and develop them into better citizens.âÂ
The final sentence of this essay ties things up very nicely. Readers are left satisfied with the essay and convinced that its writer is a kind human with a large capacity for reflection and consideration. That is a great image to paint of yourself!
Prompt #5, Example #3
When itâs quiet, I can still hear the Friday night gossip and giggles of my friends. Itâs a stark contrast from the environment Iâve known all my life, my home. My family has always been one to keep to themselves; introverts with a hard-working mentalityâmy father especially. He spent most of his time at work and growing up without him around, I came to be at peace with the fact that Iâd probably never really get to know him. The thought didnât bother me at the time because I felt that we were very different. He was stoic and traditional; I was trying to figure out who I was and explore my interests. His disapproval of the American music I listened to and my penchant for wearing hand-me-downs made me see him as someone who wanted to restrain my individuality. That explains why I relied heavily on my friends throughout middle and high school; they liked me for who I was. I figured I would get lonely without my friends during quarantine, but these last few months stuck at home gave me the time to make a new friend: my father.Â
It was June. I had the habit of sleeping with my windows open so I wouldnât need to set an alarm; the warmth of the sun and the sounds of the neighborhood children playing outside would wake me. One morning, however, it was not the chirping of birds or the laughter of children I awoke to, but the shrill of a saw. Through the window screen, on the grass below, my father stood cutting planks of wood. I was confused but didnât question himâwhat he did with his time was none of my business. It was not until the next day, when I was attempting to work on a sculpture for an art class, that the sounds of hammering and drills became too much to ignore. Seeking answers, I trudged across my backyard towards the corner he was in. On that day, all there was to see was the foundation of what he was building; a shed. My intrigue was replaced with awe; I was impressed by the precision of his craft. Sharp corners, leveled and sturdy, I could imagine what it would look like when the walls were up and the inside filled with the tools he had spread around the yard.Â
Throughout the week, when I was trying to finish my sculpture for art classâthinking about its shape and compositionâI could not help but think of my father. Art has always been a creative outlet for me, an opportunity to express myself at home. For my dad, his craftsmanship was his art. I realized we were not as different as I had thought; he was an artist like me. My glue and paper were his wood and nails.
That summer, I tried to spend more time with my dad than I have in all my 18 years of life. Waking up earlier than usual so we could have our morning coffees together and pretending to like his favorite band so heâd talk to me about it, I took advantage of every opportunity I had to speak with him. In getting to know him, Iâve recognized that I get my artistry from him.Â
Reflecting on past relationships, I feel I am now more open to reconnecting with people Iâve perhaps misjudged. In reconciling, Iâve realized I held some bitterness towards him all these years, and in letting that go, my heart is lighter. Our reunion has changed my perspective; instead of vilifying him for spending so much time at work, I can appreciate how hard he works to provide for our family. When I hear him tinkering away at another home project, I can smile and look forward to asking him about it later.
This is an outstanding example of the great things that can be articulated through a reflective essay. As we read the essay, we are simply thinking alongside its authorâthinking about their past relationship with their father, about their time in quarantine, about aspects of themselves they think could use attention and growth.Â
While we reflect, we are also centered by the studentâs anecdote about the sculpture and the shed during quarantine. By centering us in real-time, the student keeps us engaged in the reflection.
The main strength here is the maturity we see on the part of its writer. The student doesnât say âand I realized my father was the best dad in the world;â they say âand I realized my father didnât have to be the best dad in the world for me to give him a chance.â Lots of students show themselves as motivated, curious, or compassionate in their college essays, but a reflective essay that ends with a discussion of resentment and forgiveness shows true maturity.
Prompt #5, Example #4
As a wide-eyed, naive seven-year-old, I watched my grandmotherâs rough, wrinkled hands pull and knead mercilessly at white dough until the countertop was dusted in flour. She steamed small buns in bamboo baskets, and a light sweetness lingered in the air. Although the mantou looked delicious, their papery, flat taste was always an unpleasant surprise. My grandmother scolded me for failing to finish even one, and when I complained about the lack of flavor she would simply say that I would find it as I grew older. How did my adult relatives seem to enjoy this Taiwanese culinary delight while I found it so plain?
During my journey to discover the essence of mantou, I began to see myself the same way I saw the steamed bun. I believed that my writing would never evolve beyond a hobby and that my quiet nature crippled my ambitions. Ultimately, I thought I had little to offer the world. In middle school, it was easy for me to hide behind the large personalities of my friends, blending into the background and keeping my thoughts company. Although writing had become my emotional outlet, no matter how well I wrote essays, poetry, or fiction, I could not stand out in a sea of talented students. When I finally gained the confidence to submit my poetry to literary journals but was promptly rejected, I stepped back from my work to begin reading from Whitman to Dickinson, Li-Young Lee to Ocean Vuong. It was then that I realized I had been holding back a crucial ingredientâmy distinct voice.Â
Over time, my taste buds began to mature, as did I. Mantou can be flavored with pork and eggplant, sweetened in condensed milk, and moistened or dried by the steamâs temperature. After I ate the mantou with each of these factors in mind, I noticed its environment enhanced a delicately woven strand of sweetness beneath the taste of side dishes: the sugar I had often watched my grandmother sift into the flour. The taste was nearly untraceable, but once I grasped it I could truly begin to cherish mantou. In the same way the taste had been lost to me for years, my writerâs voice had struggled to shine through because of my self-doubt and fear of vulnerability.
As I acquired a taste for mantou, I also began to strengthen my voice through my surrounding environment. With the support of my parents, peer poets, and the guidance of Amy Tan and the BrontŃ sisters, I worked tirelessly to uncover my voice: a subtle strand of sweetness. Once I stopped trying to fit into a publishing material mold and infused my uninhibited passion for my Taiwanese heritage into my writing, my poem was published in a literary journal. I wrote about the blatant racism Asians endured during coronavirus, and the editor of Skipping Stones Magazine was touched by both my poem and my heartfelt letter. I opened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum, providing support to younger Asian-American students who reached out with the relief of finding someone they could relate to. I embraced writing as a way to convey my struggle with cultural identity. I joined the schoolâs creative writing club and read my pieces in front of an audience, honing my voice into one that flourishes out loud as well.
Now, I write and speak unapologetically, falling in love with a voice that I never knew I had. It inspires passion within my communities and imparts tenacity to Asian-American youth, rooting itself deeply into everything I write. Today, my grandmother would say that I have finally unearthed the taste of mantou as I savor every bite with a newfound appreciation. I can imagine her hands shaping the dough that has become my voice, and I am eager to share it with the world.
This essay is structurally-sound, with the studentâs journey learning to savor mantou and their journey trying to find their voice serving as outstanding parallels. Additionally, as they describe the journey to find a voice in their writing, they definitely show off their voice! The clear introduction provides a great image and draws us in with an intriguing question. Additionally, their little inserts like âa strand of sweetnessâ and âfalling in love with a voice that I never knew I hadâ work very well.
When the student describes their first published poem, however, their writing gets a little more stilted. This is a common error students make when writing about their achievements. If this student is writing about the craft that goes into writing, we should hear the details of the craft that went into the poem, instead of simply learning that they âopened up about being ridiculed for bringing Asian food to school at Youth Leadership Forum.â This is interesting information but would be stronger if it were supplemented by descriptions of the voice they created, comparisons to the styles of other poets, and analysis of their stylistic choices. This would make the essay feel more cohesive, centering entirely around concepts of voice and style.
Prompt #6: Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more?
Note: We donât have a stellar example for this prompt, so instead, weâre sharing a couple examples that need improvement, and what can be done to make the essays more engaging.Â
Prompt #6, Example #1
What factors shape the depth and allure of a literary character? This is the exact question I asked myself as my eyes riveted on the white pages covered with little black letters.
I was reading my old novels. Iâve written three novels and many short stories. Each of them repetitively portrayed the hero as intelligent and funny, and the antagonists as cold and manipulative. I came to the appalling realization that my characters were flat, neither exciting nor original. They just didnât stand out!Â
As Oscar Wilde said, âVice and virtue are to the artist material to an art.â Their mixing makes a novel addictive because its plot is rich with turnarounds and its characters more engaging. In his famous work The Picture of Dorian Gray , Wilde deconstructs the psyche of his characters. He brilliantly plays with the protagonistâs youthful appearance and the decaying portrait to build a truly unique idiosyncratic identity. The persona of Dorian Gray is so complicated a psychologist could analyze it for hours on end!
Inspired by this character, It was my turn to explore good and evil into characters to make my stories more enthralling. I skillfully played with vice and virtue, separating, merging them⊠My latest novel is the fruit of this exercise. I chose to set it in 20th century London. Its opium dens and exclusive salons; middle-class workers, peasants and politicians breathed the same newly industrialized air; modernity in Blackfriars bridge and tradition in St Paulâs Cathedral; all of these contrasts set the perfect environment for my characters to grow. Following Laclosâ Valmont, Maupassantâs Georges Duroy and Duffyâs Myra Hindley, I played with those contrasts to present an intricate character, truly creative â unlike my previous ones. Insanity, religion, depravity and love are merged into each character, reflecting Edwardian London. As I reflected on my work, I realized vice and virtue altogether made them more human and credible. These characters stood out, they were interesting, I even wanted to know more about them!Â
After rewriting, erasing, typing, and thinking countless times, I realized writing is a unique exercise. Nothing is definite when you are holding a fountain pen, hearing its screeching sound on the white paper and watching the ebony ink forming letters. When I wasnât too happy about a change I made in my story, I simply erased and rewrote it. Everything I imagined could happen: white pages are the only place the mouse eats the cat or the world is taken by a zombie attack!Â
This exact exercise of diversifying my characters satisfied my relentless curiosity. Asking myself âhow could this character be if she had lost her parents in a maritime tragedy?â allowed me to view the world from different perspectives (some very dissimilar to my own) and considering how each character would react to different situations brought them to life. As I was writing, I was aiming to change the usual narratives I had previously traversed. I loved experimenting with countless personality traits in my characters â minutes flowing, my hand dancing on the paper as my mind was singing words coming aliveâŠ.
There were times where my hand just stopped writing and my mind stopped raging. I tried thinking differently, changing a characterâs background, the story, the setting. I was inspired by Zola, A.Carter, Fitzgerald, the BrontĂ« sisters⊠I could observe the different reactions of their characters, and reflect on mine theoretically. But it was only part one of the work: I then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes frantically, always leading to fresh ideas â I was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewriting. Both theory and practice are required to gain intellectual independence and experience, in writing and more globally: before I can change a character, I have to understand it. Before we can change the world, we have to understand it.
The main strength of this essay is the authenticity of the topic the student chose. They arenât making anything up or stretching the truth. Writing is something that captivates them, and that captivation shines throughâparticularly through their fourth paragraph (where they geek out over specific plots and characters) and their fifth paragraph (where they joyfully describe how writing has no limitations). Admissions officers want to see this passion and intensity in applicants! The fact that this student has already written three novels also shows dedication and is impressive.
The main weakness of this essay is its structure. Ironically, it is not super captivating. The essay would have been more compelling if the student utilized a âanecdote â answer â reflectionâ structure. This studentâs current introduction involves a reflective question, citations about their past writing experience, then their thoughts on Oscar Wildeâs Dorian Gray. Instead, this student couldâve provided one cohesive (and powerful!) image of them being frustrated with their own writing then being inspired by Dorian Gray. This would look something like:
âI stayed up three nights in a row studying my own writingâbored by my own writing. The only thing more painful than seeing failure in the fruits of your labor is not seeing a path for improvement. I had written three novels and numerous short stories, and all I could come up with was funny and intelligent heroes going up against cold and manipulative villains. What kind of writer was so consistently cliche? On the third night, I wandered over to my bookshelf. Mrs. Dalloway caught my eye (it has such a beautiful cover). I flipped through. Then, I grabbed Giovanniâs Room . I was so obsessed with my shortcomings that I couldnât even focus long enough to see what these authors were doing right. I picked up The Picture of Dorian Gray and decided to just start reading. By the end of the night, I was captivated.â
An introduction like this would flow nicely into the student describing their experience with Dorian Gray then, because of that experience, describing how they have altered their approach to writing. The conclusion of this essay would then be this studentâs time for reflection. Instead of repeating content about their passionââI then had to write, sometimes aimlessly, sometimes franticallyâ and âI was exploring the practical, trying, erasing and rewritingââ, the student could dedicate their conclusion to reflecting on the reasons that writing is so captivating or the ways that (until the day they die) writers will always be perfecting their craft.
This essay is a great example of how important it is to pick a topic that truly excites you. It also illustrates how important it is to effectively structure that excitement.
Prompt #6, Example #2
Astonished by the crashing sound of waves in my ear, I was convinced this magical shell actually held the sound of the big blue sea â my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldnât take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorldâs gift shop . It distinctly reminded me of the awestruck feeling I had when I witnessed the churning waves of a windy night by the ocean the previous weekend; I lost track of time gazing at the distant moonlit border dividing our world from the ever-growing black void. Turning to my mom, I inquired curiously, âCan we go to the place where the water ends one day?â
She explained to me I could never reach the end of the ocean because the harsh line I had seen was actually an illusion called the horizon â there was no material end to the ocean. For a mind as young as mine was, the idea of infinity was incomprehensible. As my infatuation with the ocean continued to grow, I finally understood that regardless of how far I travel, the horizon is unattainable because itâs not a physical limit. This idea is why the ocean captivates me â no matter how much you discover, there is always more to explore.Â
Learning about and exploring the ocean provided an escape from one reality into another; though we are on the same planet, itâs an entirely separate world. Through elementary and middle school, I devoted vast amounts of my free time to learning about simpler concepts like a dolphinâs ability to echolocate and coral reef ecosystems. I rented countless documentaries and constantly checked out books from my local library â my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled âThe Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.â This episode remained memorable because it was centered around the impacts of fossil fuels on marine animals; it was the first time Iâd learned about the impending crisis we are faced with due to the human mistreatment of our planet.
Prior to viewing that episode, I relied on the ocean as an outlet â I fueled all of my emotions into studying marine organisms. Once I learned of its grave future, I delved into the world of environmental activism. This path was much more disheartening than studying echolocation â inevitable death due to climate change took a toll on my mental health. I attended two climate strikes in November of my sophomore year. Following the strikes, I joined Sunrise Movement Sacramento, a youth-led climate justice organization advocating for the Green New Deal. While analyzing legislation and organizing protests were significant takeaways from my experience with climate activism, they were not the most important. I became an organizer because of my love for the ocean and I remain an organizer because of my passion for dissolving the disproportionalities marginalized groups face due to the sacrificing of peopleâs livelihood for the sake of profit. The more I learned about our modern society, the more hopeless I grew that I could see any significant change within my lifetime.
However, this hopelessness comes in waves; every day, I remind myself of the moment I discovered the horizon. Or the moment I first dove into the beautiful waters of the Hawaiian coast and immediately was surrounded by breathtaking seas of magnificent creatures and coral gardens â life felt ethereal and beautiful. I remind myself that like the ocean, the vast majority of the universe has yet to be discovered; that distant border holds infinite opportunity to learn. In a universe as vast as ours, and life as rare as ours, individuals still choose to prioritize avarice over our planet. Despite this grave individualism, the ocean reminds me every day there is hope in the fight for a better world. Though I will never discover every inch of the oceanâs floor, I will forever envision and reach for new horizons.
Sometimes the path to a great essay is taking something normal and using it to show admissions officers who you are and what you valueâthat is precisely this studentâs approach! Finding the ocean fascinating is not unique to this student. Tons of kids (and adults, too!) are obsessed with the ocean. What this student does is take things a step further as they explain their curiosity about the ocean in relation to their pain about the destruction of the environment. This capacity for reflection is great!
This student shows a good control of language through their thematic centering on ocean and horizons that carries through their essayâwith âthis hopelessness comes in wavesâ and âI will forever envision and reach for new horizons.â The details provided throughout are also effective at keeping readers engagedâthings like â my six-year-old self was heartbroken when I couldnât take the thirty-dollar artificial shell from SeaWorldâs gift shopâ and â my all-time favorite was an episode of the television series Cosmos: A Spacetime Odyssey titled âThe Lost Worlds of Planet Earth.â
The main weakness of this essay is the lack of reflection when the student discusses environmental activism. Thereâs reflection on the studentâs connection to the ocean and horizons at the beginning and at the end, but when the student discusses activism, the tone shifts from focusing on their internal thoughts to their external actions. Remember, a lot of students write about environmental activism, but not a lot of students write about an emotional connection to the ocean as an impetus for environmental activism. This student would stand out more to admissions officers if they had dug into questions of what the ocean means to them (and says about them) in the paragraphs beginning âLearning about and exploring the oceanâŠâ and âPrior to viewing that episode.â
Prompt #7: Share an essay on any topic of your choice. It can be one youâve already written, one that responds to a different prompt, or one of your own design.
Prompt #7, example #1.
Scalding hot water cascades over me, crashing to the ground in a familiar, soothing rhythm. Steam rises to the ceiling as dried sweat and soap suds swirl down the drain. The water hisses as it hits my skin, far above the safe temperature for a shower. The pressure is perfect on my tired muscles, easing the aches and bruises from a rough bout of sparring and the tension from a long, stressful day. The noise from my overactive mind dies away, fading into music, lyrics floating through my head. Black streaks stripe the inside of my left arm, remnants of the penned reminders of homework, money owed and forms due.Â
It lacks the same dynamism and controlled intensity of sparring on the mat at taekwondo or the warm tenderness of a tight hug from my father, but itâs still a cocoon of safety as the water washes away the dayâs burdens. As long as the hot water is running, the rest of the world ceases to exist, shrinking to me, myself and I. The shower curtain closes me off from the hectic world spinning around me.Â
Much like the baths of Blanche DuBois, my hot showers are a means of cleansing and purifying (though Iâm mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on me). In the midst of a hot shower, there is no impending exam to study for, no newspaper deadline to meet, no paycheck to deposit. It is simply complete and utter peace, a safe haven. The steam clears my mind even as it clouds my mirror.Â
Creativity thrives in the tub, breathing life into tales of dragons and warrior princesses that evolve only in my head, never making their way to paper but appeasing the childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me all the same. That one calculus problem that has seemed unsolvable since second period clicks into place as I realize the obvious solution. The perfect concluding sentence to my literary analysis essay writes itself (causing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirely). Â
Ever since I was old enough to start taking showers unaided, I began hogging all the hot water in the house, a source of great frustration to my parents. Many of my early showers were rudely cut short by an unholy banging on the bathroom door and an order to âstop wasting water and come eat dinner before it gets cold.â After a decade of trudging up the stairs every evening to put an end to my water-wasting, my parents finally gave in, leaving me to my (expensive) showers. I imagine someday, when paying the water bill is in my hands, my showers will be shorter, but today is not that day (nor, hopefully, will the next four years be that day).Â
Showers are better than any ibuprofen, the perfect panacea for lifeâs daily ailments. Headaches magically disappear as long as the water runs, though they typically return in full force afterward. The runny nose and itchy eyes courtesy of summertime allergies recede. Showers alleviate even the stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.Â
Honestly though, the best part about a hot shower is neither its medicinal abilities nor its blissful temporary isolation or even the heavenly warmth seeped deep into my bones. The best part is that these little moments of pure, uninhibited contentedness are a daily occurrence. No matter how stressful the day, showers ensure I always have something to look forward to. They are small moments, true, but important nonetheless, because it is the little things in life that matter; the big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happy. Wherever I am in the world, whatever fate chooses to throw at me, I know I can always find my peace at the end of the day behind the shower curtain.
This essay is relatable yet personal! The writer makes themself supremely human through discussing the universal subject of showering. That being said, an essay about showering could easily turn boring while still being relatable. This writer keeps its relatable moments interesting and fun through vivid descriptions of common feelings including âcausing me to abruptly end my shower in a mad dash to the computer before I forget it entirelyâ and âthe stomachache from a guacamole-induced lack of self-control.â
While describing a universal feeling, this student also cleverly and intentionally mentions small facts about their life through simple phrases like âIâm mostly just ridding myself of the germs from children at work sneezing on meâ and âthe childlike dreamer and wannabe author in me.â To put it simply, though we are talking about a shower, we learn about so much more!
And, at the end, the student lets us know that that is exactly why they love showers. Showers are more than meets the eye! With this insightful and reflective ending (âthe big moments are too rare, too fleeting to make anyone truly happyâ), readers learn about this studentâs capacity for reflection, which is an important capacity as you enter college.
The one major error that this writer commits is that of using a trite transition. The inclusion of âHonestly thoughâ at the beginning of this studentâs ending detracts from what they are trying to say and sticks out in their writing.
Prompt #7, Example #2
Steam whooshed from the pot as I unveiled my newest creation: duck-peppercorn-chestnut dumplings. The spicy, hearty aroma swirled into the kitchen, mingling with the smell of fresh dough. Grinning, I grabbed a plump dumpling with chopsticks, blew carefully, and fed it into the waiting mouth of my little sister. Her eyes widening, she vigorously nodded and held up five stubby fingers. I did a little happy dance in celebration and pulled my notebook out of my apron pocket. Duck-peppercorn-chestnut: five stars.
In my household, dumplings are a far cry from the classic pork and cabbage. Our menu boasts everything from the savory lamb-bamboo shoot-watercress to the sweet and crispy apple-cinnamon-date. A few years ago, my sister claimed she was sick of eating the same flavors over and over. Refusing to let her disavow our family staple, I took her complaint as a challenge to make the tastiest and most unconventional dumplings to satisfy her. With her as my taste tester and Mum in charge of dough, I spent months experimenting with dozens of odd ingredient combinations.Â
During those days spent covered in flour, my dumplings often reminded me of myselfâa hybrid of ingredients that donât usually go together. I am the product of three distinct worlds: the suburbs of Boston, the rural Chinese village of [location removed], and the coastal city of [location removed]. At school, I am both the STEM nerd with lightning-fast mental math and the artistic plant mom obsessed with funky earrings. I love all that is elegant, from Chinese calligraphy to the rolling notes of the Gourd flute, yet I can be very not elegant, like when my sister and I make homemade slime. When Iâm on the streets, marching for womenâs rights and climate action, Iâm loud, bellowing from the bottom of my gut. In the painting studio, though, I donât speak unless spoken to, and hours can slip by like minutes. Iâm loud and quiet. Elegant and messy. Nerdy and artistic. Suburban, rustic, and metropolitan.
While Iâm full of odd combinations, they are only seemingly contradictory. Just as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper, different facets of my identity also converge. After my tenth-grade summer, when I spent six weeks studying design at art school and another three researching the brain at Harvard Med, I began asking myself: What if I mixed art and neuroscience together? That fall, I collaborated with my schoolâs art museum for an independent research project, exploring two questions: How are aesthetic experiences processed in the brain? And how can neuroscience help museums design exhibits that maximize visitor engagement? I combed through studies with results from tightly controlled experiments, and I spent days gathering my own qualitative data by observing museum visitors and asking them questions. With the help of my artistic skills, I could identify the visual and spatial elements of the exhibits that best held visitorsâ attention.Â
By synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I amâart and neuroscienceâI realized I shouldnât see the different sides of myself as separate. I learned to instead seek the intersections between aspects of my identity. Since then, I have mixed art with activism to voice my opinions nonverbally, created Spotify playlists with both Chinese and western pop, and written flute compositions using music theory and math. In the future, by continuing to combine my interests, I want to find my niche in the world. I can make a positive impact on society without having to choose just one passion. As of now, my dream is to be a neuroscientist who designs art therapy treatments for mental health patients. Who knows though? Maybe my calling is to be a dim sum chef who teaches pottery on the side. I donât know where Iâll go, but one thingâs for sureâbeing a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.
This essay is outstanding because the student seems likable and authentic. With the first image of the studentâs little sister vigorously nodding and holding up âfive stubby fingers,â we find ourselves intrigued by the studentâs daily life. They additionally show the importance of family, culture, and creativity in their lifeâthese are great things to highlight in your essay!
After the introduction, the student uses their weird dumpling anecdote to transition to a discussion of their unique intersections. This is achieved smoothly because weirdness/uniqueness is the focus of both of these topics. Additionally, the comparison is not awkward because dumplings are used as more than just a transition, but rather are the through-line of the essayâthe student weaves in little phrases like âJust as barbeque pork and pineapple can combine beautifully in a dumpling wrapper,â âBy synergizing two of the ingredients that make me who I am,â and âbeing a standard pork and cabbage dumpling is definitely not my style.â This gives the essay its cohesive feel.
Authenticity comes through in this essay as the student recognizes that they donât know what the future holds. They just know what kind of a person they areâa passionate one!Â
One change that would improve this studentâs essay would be focusing on fewer intersections in their third and last paragraph. The student mentions STEM, music, family activities, activism, and painting, which makes it feel like a distraction in middle of the essay. Focus on the most important things you want to show admissions officersâyou can sit at intersections, but you canât be interested in everything.
Prompt #7, Example #3
âEveryone follow me!â I smiled at five wide-eyed skaters before pushing off into a spiral. I glanced behind me hopefully, only to see my students standing frozen like statues, the fear in their eyes as clear as the ice they swayed on. âCome on!â I said encouragingly, but the only response I elicited was the slow shake of their heads. My first day as a Learn-to-Skate coach was not going as planned.Â
But amid my frustration, I was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater. At seven, I had been fascinated by Olympic performers who executed thrilling high jumps and dizzying spins with apparent ease, and I dreamed to one day do the same. My first few months on skates, however, sent these hopes crashing down: my attempts at slaloms and toe-loops were shadowed by a stubborn fear of falling, which even the helmet, elbow pads, and two pairs of mittens I had armed myself with couldnât mitigate. Nonetheless, my coach remained unfailingly optimistic, motivating me through my worst spills and teaching me to find opportunities in failures. With his encouragement, I learned to push aside my fears and attack each jump with calm and confidence; itâs the hope that I can help others do the same that now inspires me to coach.Â
I remember the day a frustrated staff member directed Oliver, a particularly hesitant young skater, toward me, hoping that my patience and steady encouragement might help him improve. Having stood in Oliverâs skates not much earlier myself, I completely empathized with his worries but also saw within him the potential to overcome his fears and succeed.Â
To alleviate his anxiety, I held Oliverâs hand as we inched around the rink, cheering him on at every turn. I soon found though, that this only increased his fear of gliding on his own, so I changed my approach, making lessons as exciting as possible in hopes that he would catch the skating bug and take off. In the weeks that followed, we held relay races, played âfreeze-skateâ and âice-potatoâ, and raced through obstacle courses; gradually, with each slip and subsequent success, his fear began to abate. I watched Oliverâs eyes widen in excitement with every skill he learned, and not long after, he earned his first skating badge. Together we celebrated this milestone, his ecstasy fueling my excitement and his pride mirroring my own. At that moment, I was both teacher and student, his progress instilling in me the importance of patience and a positive attitude.Â
Itâs been more than ten years since I bundled up and stepped onto the ice for the first time. Since then, my tolerance for the cold has remained stubbornly low, but the rest of me has certainly changed. In sharing my passion for skating, I have found a wonderful community of eager athletes, loving parents, and dedicated coaches from whom I have learned invaluable lessons and wisdom. My fellow staffers have been with me, both as friends and colleagues, and the relationships Iâve formed have given me far more poise, confidence, and appreciation for others. Likewise, my relationships with parents have given me an even greater gratitude for the role they play: no one goes to the rink without a parent behind the wheel!Â
Since that first lesson, I have mentored dozens of children, and over the years, witnessed tentative steps transform into powerful glides and tears give way to delighted grins. What I have shared with my students has been among the greatest joys of my life, something I will cherish forever. Itâs funny: when I began skating, what pushed me through the early morning practices was the prospect of winning an Olympic medal. Now, what excites me is the chance to work with my students, to help them grow, and to give back to the sport that has brought me so much happiness.Â
A major strength of this essay comes in its narrative organization. When reading this first paragraph, we feel for the young skaters and understand their fearâskating sounds scary! Then, because the writer sets us up to feel this empathy, the transition to the second paragraph where the student describes their empathy for the young skaters is particularly powerful. Itâs like we are all in it together! The studentâs empathy for the young skaters also serves as an outstanding, seamless transition to the applicant discussing their personal journey with skating: âI was struck by how much my students reminded me of myself as a young skater.â
This essay positions the applicant as a grounded and caring individual. They are caring towards the young skatersâchanging their teaching style to try to help the young skaters and feeling the young skatersâ emotions with themâbut they are also appreciative to those who helped them as they reference their fellow staffers and parents. This shows great maturityâa favorable quality in the eyes of an admissions officer.
At the end of the essay, we know a lot about this student and are convinced that they would be a good addition to a college campus!
Prompt #7, Example #4
Flipping past dozens of colorful entries in my journal, I arrive at the final blank sheet. I press my pen lightly to the page, barely scratching its surface to create a series of loops stringing together into sentences. Emotions spill out, and with their release, I feel lightness in my chest. The stream of thoughts slows as I reach the bottom of the page, and I gently close the cover of the worn book: another journal finished.
I add the journal to the stack of eleven books on my nightstand. Struck by the bittersweet sensation of closing a chapter of my life, I grab the notebook at the bottom of the pile to reminisce.
âI want to make a flying mushen to fly in space and your in itâ â October 2008
Pulling back the cover of my first Tinkerbell-themed diary, the prompt âMy Hopes and Dreamsâ captures my attention. Though âmachineâ is misspelled in my scribbled response, I see the beginnings of my past obsession with outer space. At the age of five, I tore through novels about the solar system, experimented with rockets built from plastic straws, and rented Space Shuttle films from Blockbuster to satisfy my curiosities. While I chased down answers to questions as limitless as the universe, I fell in love with learning. Eight journals later, the same relentless curiosity brought me to an airplane descending on San Francisco Bay.
âI wish I had infinite sunsetsâ â July 2019
I reach for the charcoal notepad near the top of the pile and open to the first page: my flight to the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes. While I was excited to explore bioengineering, anxiety twisted in my stomach as I imagined my destination, unsure of whether I could overcome my shyness and connect with others.
With each new conversation, the sweat on my palms became less noticeable, and I met students from 23 different countries. Many of the moments where I challenged myself socially revolved around the third story deck of the Jerry house. A strange medley of English, Arabic, and Mandarin filled the summer air as my friends and I gathered there every evening, and dialogues at sunset soon became moments of bliss. In our conversations about cultural differences, the possibility of an afterlife, and the plausibility of far-fetched conspiracy theories, I learned to voice my opinion. As I was introduced to different viewpoints, these moments challenged my understanding of the world around me. In my final entries from California, I find excitement to learn from others and increased confidence, a tool that would later allow me to impact my community.
âThe beauty in a tower of cansâ â June 2020
Returning my gaze to the stack of journals, I stretch to take the floral-patterned book sitting on top. I flip through, eventually finding the beginnings of the organization I created during the outbreak of COVID-19. Since then, Door-to-Door Deliveries has woven its way through my entries and into reality, allowing me to aid high-risk populations through free grocery delivery.
With the confidence I gained the summer before, I took action when seeing others in need rather than letting my shyness hold me back. I reached out to local churches and senior centers to spread word of our services and interacted with customers through our website and social media pages. To further expand our impact, we held two food drives, and I mustered the courage to ask for donations door-to-door. In a tower of canned donations, I saw the value of reaching out to help others and realized my own potential to impact the world around me.
I delicately close the journal in my hands, smiling softly as the memories reappear, one after another. Reaching under my bed, I pull out a fresh notebook and open to its first sheet. I lightly press my pen to the page, âAnd so begins the next chapterâŠâ
The structuring of this essay makes it easy and enjoyable to read. The student effectively organizes their various life experiences around their tower of journals, which centers the reader and makes the different stories easy to follow. Additionally, the student engages quotes from their journalsâand unique formatting of the quotesâto signal that they are moving in time and show us which memory we should follow them to.
Thematically, the student uses the idea of shyness to connect the different memories they draw out of their journals. As the student describes their experiences overcoming shyness at the Stanford Pre-Collegiate Summer Institutes and Door-to-Door Deliveries, this essay can be read as an Overcoming Obstacles essay.
At the end of this essay, readers are fully convinced that this student is dedicated (they have committed to journaling every day), thoughtful (journaling is a thoughtful process and, in the essay, the student reflects thoughtfully on the past), and motivated (they flew across the country for a summer program and started a business). These are definitely qualities admissions officers are looking for in applicants!
Prompt #7, Example #5
âWeâre ready for take-off!âÂ
The tires hit the tarmac and began to accelerate, and I just realized what I had signed up for. For 24 hours straight, I strapped myself into a broken-down SUV whereas others chose the luxury of soaring through the skies for a mere two hours. Especially with my motion sickness and driving anxiety, I would call myself crazy too.
To say I have always remained in my comfort zone is an understatement. Did I always order chicken fingers and fries at a restaurant? Yup! Sounds like me. Did I always create a color-coded itinerary just for a day trip? Guilty as charged. Did I always carry a first-aid kit at all times? Of course! I would make even an ambulance look unprepared. And yet here I was, choosing 1,000 miles of misery from Las Vegas to Seattle despite every bone in my body telling me not to.
The sunlight blinded my eyes and a wave of nausea swept over me. Was it too late to say I forgot my calculator? It was only ten minutes in, and I was certain that the trip was going to be a disaster. I simply hoped that our pre-drive prayer was not stuck in Godâs voicemail box.Â
All of a sudden, I noticed brightly colored rocks in the distance, ones I had been dying to see for years. Their fluorescence popped amongst the magnificent winding hills as the sunset became romantic in hue. The desert glistened with mirages of deep blue water unlike anything I had ever seen. Nevada was home, but home always seemed to be just desert and casinos. For once, I looked forward to endless desert outside my window rather than a sea of clouds.
I never realized how little I discovered of the world beyond home. For years I complained about how there was nothing to do or discover outside. Not once did I set out to prove myself wrong. Instead, I chose a daily routine of homework at the kitchen table and late-night TV. However, as summer vacation ended, I decided to set my stubbornness aside and finally give this drive back home a chance. Little did I know that it would turn out to be my favorite trip of all time.Â
As we drove along, the world chose to prove me wrong when I discovered Heaven on Earth along Shasta Lake. I stood out of the sunroof, surrounded by lush green mountains and fog. I extended my arms out and felt a sense of flight that no plane could ever take me on. As the water vapor kissed my face, I floated into a dreamland I never wanted to leave. I didnât have to go to great lengths to discover the beauty of the world; it was right in front of me. From this moment on, comfort and convenience would no longer be my best friends. Rather than only looking for famous travel destinations or following carefully mapped-out routes, I would let curiosity lead the way.Â
Since then, my daily life has been anything but routine. Iâm proud to boast of my familyâs homemade kombucha attempts, of flights purchased and taken in one day, and of a home flooded with knick-knacks from thrifting trips. Every day I set out to try something new, see a different perspective, and go beyond normal. Whether it is by trying a new recipe using taro, making a risky fashion choice with wide-legged pants, or listening to a new music genre in Spanish, I always act with curiosity first.
Over the years, I have devoted my time towards learning Swedish, building computers, and swimming. Although my accent is horrid, some computers almost broke, and even a starfish would outswim me, I continue to enjoy activities I once criticized. For me, there is no enjoyment without some risk. Nobody I know is a kazoo-playing, boogie-board loving, boba connoisseur like me.
This essay is an Overcoming Challenges story that centers around a single anecdote. The structure works nicely as the student describes what they were like before their road trip, what happened on the road trip, and what they were like after.Â
The most major improvement that this essay needs is better-communicated authenticity. At the beginning, it feels a bit gimmicky. The student describes their preparedness, particularly the fact that they always carry a first aid kit, and itâs not super believable. Then, when they write âWas it too late to say I forgot my calculator?â it feels like we are in a sitcom and the student is that funny obsessive kid. Sitcom characters donât feel real and you want to make yourself appear profoundly real.
On a similar note, the narrative arc of this essay isnât entirely believable. The student describes a large personality and value shift but doesnât describe any struggles that accompany the shift. A quick shift like that is far from easy. On the other hand, if the immediacy of the shift was easy, they could write about moments after their shift in mindset when they have felt troubled by residual desires to stay in their comfort zone, instead of writing âI always act with curiosity first.â
The greatest strength of this essay is the paragraphs beginning âI never realized how littleâŠâ and âAs we drove alongâŠâ The fixation on comfort seems much more believable when it involves âhomework at the kitchen table and late-night TV.â The descriptions of the drive provide beautiful, evocative imagery. And itâs topped off with some nice reflection! Digging into this great portion of the essay would make this an even stronger essay!
Want to see more examples? Check out this post with 16 strong essay examples from top schools , including common supplemental essay questions.
At selective schools, your essays account for around 25% of your admissions decision. Thatâs more than grades (20%) and test scores (15%), and almost as much as extracurriculars (30%). Why is this? Most students applying to top schools will have stellar academics and extracurriculars. Your essays are your chance to stand out and humanize your application.
Thatâs why itâs vital that your essays are engaging, and present you as someone who would enrich the campus community.
Before submitting your application, you should have someone else review your essays. Itâs even better if that person doesnât know you personally, as they can best tell whether your personality shines through your essay.Â
Thatâs why we created our free Peer Essay Review tool , where you can get a free review of your essay from another student. You can also improve your own writing skills by reviewing other studentsâ essays.Â
If you want a college admissions expert to review your essay, advisors on CollegeVine have helped students refine their writing and submit successful applications to top schools. Find the right advisor for you to improve your chances of getting into your dream school!
Related CollegeVine Blog Posts
â Alexa White
Writing portfolio, my happy place .
Everyone has a place where they are at ease and at complete relaxation. My idea of a happy place is somewhere where I can allow my creative ideas to flow and I can allow myself to relax. If I am having a stressful week, I can allow myself to breathe and forget about every bad thing that has happened to me. If I am having trouble with figuring issues in my life out, I can think about them when I arrive at my place of contentment. As typical as it sounds, the environment where I am stress-free would be the beach around the time of sunset. The way the colors can reflect off of the water and the way the clouds can appear as if they are on fire gives me the idea that everything is okay in the world.
When I arrive at my happy place, I allow myself to stand with my feet in the sand and look at the sun. I try to remember how much the sunset has already progressed, so I can glance over and see how it has changed. A sunset can relate to how a story works; it has a beginning, a climax where it is the most breathtaking and an end where you realize it is time to go home due to the fact that the colors have disappeared. The golden glow immediately lets me feel as if I can let go of whatever is bothering me and lets me know that everything will be okay. Also, when I am with my other half and my mom, that makes the experience that much better. As we walk down the beach, we look for rocks that interest us and we have a contest to see who can find the biggest piece of beach glass. I enjoy going to the beach the most when it is low tide and there are sandbars everywhere you look. At times, I enjoy going out on the sandbars by myself and walking as far as I can while taking pictures. While out on the sandbars, I can see little crabs or even fish while also seeing shells and different rocks that are usually hidden from the world by water. Walking on the sandbars reminds me of simpler times during my childhood, where I could run and be carefree.
The beach is a very meaningful place to me because it helps me realize that nothing in nature is perfect, and things always change, whether itâs good or bad. Everything is perfect in its own way, from the way the waves hit the shore or how the rocks line the beach randomly. I enjoy bringing my camera to the beach and taking pictures of the waves and different items I find. The pictures give me comfort because when I see them, they help me remember that not everything is perfect in life, and things will always change whether I like it or not. If I think I made a mistake in life, I can remember that nobody is perfect. If the beach is perfect in its own way, then I can be too; I can love who I am even when others may try to bring me down.
My Happy Place Revised
Everyone has a place where they are at ease and at complete relaxation. My idea of a happy place is somewhere where I can allow my creative ideas to flow and I can allow myself to relax. If I am having a stressful week, I can allow myself to breathe and forget about every bad thing that has happened to me. If I am having trouble with figuring issues in my life out, I can think about them when I arrive at my place of contentment. As typical as it sounds, the environment where I am stress-free would be the beach around sunset. The way the colors can reflect off of the water and the way the clouds can appear as if they are on fire gives me the idea that everything is okay in the world.
When I arrive at my happy place, I allow myself to stand with my feet in the sand and look at the sun. The sand feels cool and damp beneath my feet and there are a few pebbles scattered around that I try to avoid. I try to remember how much the sunset has already progressed, so I can glance over and see how it has changed. A sunset can relate to how a story works; it has a beginning, a climax where it is the most breathtaking and an end where you realize it is time to go home because the colors have disappeared. The golden glow immediately lets me feel as if I can let go of whatever is bothering me and lets me know that everything will be okay. Also, when I am with my boyfriend and my mom, it makes the experience that much better. As we walk down the beach, we look for rocks that interest us and we have a contest to see who can find the biggest piece of beach glass. I enjoy going to the beach the most when it is low tide and there are sandbars everywhere you look. At times, I enjoy going out on the sandbars by myself and walking as far as I can while taking pictures. At times, I can see little crabs or even fish while also seeing shells and different rocks that are usually hidden from the world by water. Walking on the sandbars reminds me of simpler times during my childhood, where I could run and be carefree.
The beach is a very meaningful place to me because it helps me realize that nothing in nature is perfect, whether itâs good or bad. Everything is perfect in its own way, from the way the waves hit the shore or how the rocks line the beach randomly. I enjoy bringing my camera to the beach and taking pictures of the waves and different items I find. The pictures give me comfort because when I see them, they help me remember that not everything is perfect in life, and things will always change whether I like it or not. If I think I made a mistake in life, I can remember that nobody is perfect. If the beach is perfect in its own way, then I can be too; I can love who I am even when others may try to bring me down.
Descriptive Essay On My Happy Place
Hey, it’s me again, [Your Name], the 5th grader with a lot to share. Today, I’m taking you on a journey to my happy place. It’s a spot where all my worries melt away, and I feel like I’m in a world of pure joy.
My Happy Place: A Descriptive Adventure
As soon as I step into my happy place, I’m greeted by a burst of colors. It’s like walking into a rainbow. Everywhere I look, there are vibrant flowers, playful butterflies, and the sweet scent of nature.
Whispering Trees – The Enchanted Forest
My happy place has a magical forest that feels like something out of a fairytale. The tall trees seem to whisper secrets as their leaves rustle in the breeze. It’s so peaceful and full of wonder.
A Symphony of Birds – Feathered Friends
If you close your eyes, you’ll hear the most beautiful bird songs. There’s a symphony of chirps and melodies that make my heart sing along. I even have a favorite bluebird that visits me.
Babbling Brook – The Flowing Serenity
In the heart of my happy place, there’s a babbling brook that dances over smooth stones. Its gentle trickling is like nature’s lullaby, and I could listen to it for hours.
The Cozy Nook – My Spot
I have a special spot in my happy place. It’s a cozy nook beneath a big willow tree. I’ve placed a soft blanket there, perfect for sitting and daydreaming.
Floral Friends – Blooming Buddies
My happy place is home to all sorts of flowers. There are daffodils, tulips, and my absolute favorite, sunflowers. They sway in the breeze, making me feel like I’m in a living, breathing garden.
Butterfly Ballet – Graceful Dancers
The butterflies in my happy place are like tiny ballerinas. They flutter and twirl, painting the air with their delicate wings. Sometimes they even land on my shoulder for a quick chat.
The Secret Garden – Hidden Treasures
There’s a secret garden in my happy place, filled with winding paths and hidden treasures. I once found a shiny pebble that I keep in my pocket for good luck.
Daydreaming Corner – Imagination Station
In one corner of my happy place, I’ve set up an imagination station. It’s where I can daydream and let my thoughts run wild. Sometimes, I imagine being a pirate or an astronaut.
Friends in Nature – Animal Encounters
My happy place is full of furry and feathery friends. Squirrels play tag in the trees, and sometimes I spot a deer wandering by. It’s like having a wildlife party every day.
Sunsets and Stars – Evening Magic
As the sun sets in my happy place, the sky turns into a masterpiece of oranges and pinks. When the night arrives, I lie on my blanket and gaze at the stars, making wishes on every twinkle.
Conclusion – Forever Happiness
In conclusion, my happy place is a world of endless wonder and happiness. It’s a place where I can escape, dream, and connect with nature. I feel so lucky to have found this magical spot, and I hope you can find your happy place too.
Thank you for joining me on this adventure to my happy place. It’s a special spot where I can be myself, and I’ll treasure it forever. Where’s your happy place?
Hello! Welcome to my Blog StudyParagraphs.co. My name is Angelina. I am a college professor. I love reading writing for kids students. This blog is full with valuable knowledge for all class students. Thank you for reading my articles.
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Happy Place
By emily henry, happy place analysis.
These notes were contributed by members of the GradeSaver community. We are thankful for their contributions and encourage you to make your own.
Written by Arpita Singh
In Happy Place (2023), a romance novel by Emily Henry, the story centers on surgical resident Harriet Kilpatrick's love life and friendships. Harriet goes on vacation to a cottage in a coastal area of Maine with her friends. She hasn't revealed that her partner broke up with her half a year ago. However, upon reaching there, she discovers her ex-boyfriend, Wyn Connor, at the cottage. Wyn requests her not to disclose their breakup to their friends, explaining that Sabrina and Parth are getting married, and he came to participate in their last vacation at the cottage. He asks her to pretend to be in love as they were before. Initially hesitant, Harriet eventually agrees.
Later in the evening, Sabrina and Parth announce that this will be their final vacation in the cottage, as they plan to sell it, and they will also have their wedding there. Wyn and Harriet participate in various activities as a couple, and through eating, dancing, and revisiting their favorite places, they rekindle their love. She initially feels uncomfortable pretending and lying to her friends but eventually discovers that spending time with Wyn brings her happiness, and Wyn feels the same.
As the wedding day approaches, Wyn opens up to Harriet. After her father's death, he struggled with depression and joblessness and realized that he was dragging Harriet down with him. He decided to leave her, a decision he now regrets. Harriet admits she never aspired to be a surgeon and prefers pottery over a draining and depressing surgical career. Meanwhile, a misunderstanding arises between Harriet and Cleo, leading Sabrina to accuse Harriet of not putting effort into their friendship. Eventually, Harriet, Cleo, and Sabrina reconcile after openly discussing their problems. Wyn and Harriet promise each other to be more understanding and caring towards one another.
The book Happy Place explores two main things: relationships and second chances. It emphasizes the importance of relationships and the efforts to maintain them. Restoring meaningful relationships is essential to leading a happy and fulfilling life.
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Happy Place Questions and Answers
The Question and Answer section for Happy Place is a great resource to ask questions, find answers, and discuss the novel.
Study Guide for Happy Place
Happy Place study guide contains a biography of Emily Henry, literature essays, quiz questions, major themes, characters, and a full summary and analysis.
- About Happy Place
- Happy Place Summary
- Character List
Moscow, Russia
Moscow is the capital city of Russia, being the biggest country in the world expanding across the entirety of northern Asia and much of eastern Europe. Just as curious as I am, Russia has always been a place in my wish list and voila, here I am!
Upon arrival, I find this place to be in a different world in comparison to Europe. Why? Firstly, it gives me a sense of communism and people gives each other a serious expression that they tend to smile less with strangers. However, I knew their intent were actually friendly and helpful inside them. For instance, my first bus ride was scary as this lady with a serious face who came talking to me as if I did something wrong; but in fact, she was trying to tell me that there is a cool helicopter taking-off at the back of me view *what a relief*.
Do not underestimate Moscow geographically and ideally, you may need about 4 – 6 days (depending on the group size) in Moscow to really see what they are made of. This delay is due to landmark sizes (eg. Kremlin) that takes you long enough as a trip to visit. Also, language may be a barrier at times as not everyone speaks English.
PLACES TO VISIT AND THINGS TO DO IN MOSCOW
State historical museum & kazan cathedral.
Kazan Cathedral
The State Historical Museum and Kazan Cathedral are located just next to each other and they are the first few buildings you will walk-by upon getting into the Red Square! Crowded it is, isn’t it?
Tip: Be cautious of a group of people wearing royal-like costumes and they would approach to take pictures with you and after that, asks you for money. They may somehow start to demand RUB3,000 and if you ever fell for this trap, try to bargain to RUB500 – RUB1,000 rather than paying a hefty price. If you had a tripod, they may automatically stand at your tripod and take pictures of you which will cost you money too!
Nearest Metro station: Teatral’naya
St. Basil’s Cathedral
This is it, one of the most important landmark in Moscow, has always been an iconic structure that most visitor are keen of visiting. Located inside the Red Square, it is no surprise that the St. Basil Cathedral is packed with visitors.
The interior is an eye-opener, similarly to any other cathedrals that are filled with many portraits in comparison to any other cathedrals in Europe. Some rooms within the St. Basil Cathedral doesn’t allow the use of cameras.
During my visit, I had to take my winter jacket off just to take really good pictures with it even with my sleeves off! Some others looked at me as if I am an insane man. Well, who cares? đ
Admission (St. Basil’s Cathedral): RUB500 per adult
Lenin’s Mausoleum & The Spasskaya Tower
Lenin’s Mausoleum
The Spasskaya Tower
Vladimir Lenin was a Russian communist revolutionary, politician, and a political theorist whom served as the head of government of Soviet Russia from year 1917 to 1924. Hence, you shall find Vladimir Lenin’s body being carefully preserved in the mausoleum and the purpose of this was to enable government officials or visitor to pay their respect to Vladimir Lenin.
Inside the mausoleum, using of cameras are strictly prohibited while the place was well-guarded and bag checking will be done at the front. You ought to keep silence too!
Before and after the mausoleum, you shall also see statues/memorials and names of Russian leaders as well.
Next, you will also find the Spasskaya Tower that function as the main tower on the eastern wall of the Kremlin and it was built in year 1491.
Admission (Lenin’s Mausoleum): Free
GUM & Red Square
Do try the ice-cream and they comes in different colours/flavours!
GUM is serving as the main department store and it gives a beautiful atmosphere, both within and outside into the Red Square. The interior was heavily decorated and a good place to take a shelter! Yes, going into the toilet will cost you RUB30 per person/entry.
Red Square on another hand, has always been crowded with tourists and here in December, is where you will find the Christmas Market!
You may visit GUM – Website for more information.
Into the Kremlin
Troitskaya Bashnya & the Trinity Bridge
Tsar Cannon (Pushka)
Cathedral of the Annunciation
Dormition Cathedral
Ivan the Great Bell Tower
Cathedral of the Archangel
Door into the Cathedral of the Archangel
Borovitskaya Ulitsa Driveway
The Tsar Bell
Senate Palace
HOW DO I GET INTO THE KREMLIN?
Some may not know how to find the entrance to get into the Kremlin because the walls were long stretched and it’ll be a long walk before you find the door. Hence, you can find the entrance at the middle of the western Kremlin walls, along the Alexandrovsky (Alexander) garden. From there, you ought to buy your tickets from the ticketing counter before heading into the Kremlin!
I felt like an achievement unlocked having to visit the Kremlin as I was so curious of how it looks like in reality. Overall, it was an eye-opener though the museums (cathedrals) seems to be a bit ordinary but heck, I am in the Kremlin yo!
If your ticket includes entry into the museums (cathedrals) as well, keep them handy as you got to show em’ to the staff before you are allowed to get in. Well if you’re lucky, you may get to see the President Vladimir Putin !
You may visit Moscow Kremlin Museums – Website for more information.
- RUB250 per person – Entry into the Kremlin Square only;
- RUB500 per person (under 16 yrs of age is free) – Entry into the Kremlin Square with Museums entry (except Armoury Chamber); or
- RUB700 per person (under 16 yrs of age is free) – Entry into the Kremlin Square with Museums and Armoury Chamber.
Nearest Metro station: Biblioteka im. Lenina; or Borovitskaya; or Okhotny Ryad
Alexandrovsky (Alexander) Garden
Patriarch Hermogenes Monument
The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
Moscow Manege
The Alexander Garden is comprised of three separate gardens that stretches along the western Kremlin wall, walking-by historical memorial and landmarks.
One of which is the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier that is dedicated to unknown soldiers that were killed in the battle of Moscow, back in year 1941 which were initially buried elsewhere. Thereafter, its remains were relocated next to the Kremlin walls to commemorate the 25th anniversary of the battle.
Zaryadye Park
You may take a really good stroll within the Zaryadye Park and it was really breezy at night. If you’d keep an eye, there will be a platform that sticks out above the Moscow river where you could take really nice pictures of both river directions.
A walk on Tverskaya Street & Bolshoi Theatre
Bolshoi Theatre
Vitali Fountain
Tverskaya Street is the main street of Moscow and just like any main streets, you will have good accessibility to public transports (buses) and metro stations as well. However, the street is not limited to the entire stretch itself, but the other streets surrounding Tverskaya where you could find a larger range of shops and restaurants (eg. Lepim I Varim).
Near to Tverskaya Street is the historical Bolchoi Theatre and the Vitali Fountain.
Nearest Metro station: Tverskaya; or Okhotny Ryad
Cathedral of Christ the Saviour
Unfortunately it was closed when I arrived. Nevertheless, taking pictures at night ain’t bad either! Love how it looks!
Nearest Metro station: Kropotkinskaya
Izmailovo Kremlin & Market
I find everything in Russia to be really colourful, one of which is its buildings and interiors, same goes to Matroshka nesting dolls. Each time I look at Izmailovo Kremlin, it’ll remind me of the colours of St. Basil’s Cathedral.
Next to the Kremlin is where you could spend all your time exploring and buying local souvenirs from stall vendors and if you ever plan of buying them in bulk, you may need to plan your bargaining skills in advanced!
By far, I find everything here to be reasonably cheaper than anywhere else and it is a good place if you plan to buy souvenirs for your fellow friends and colleagues!
Nearest Metro station: Partizanskaya
Tsvetnoy Central Market
Prior to visiting the Tsvetnoy Central Market, it gives me an impression that this is another casual ordinary market where you could find cheap foods and souvenirs. However, it turned out to be a classy shopping mall and during my visit, most items were on sale due to Black Friday.
Nearest Metro station: Tsvetnoy bul’var
Arbat Street (Pedestrian Street)
Just like any pedestrian street, you will find a range of souvenir and boutique stores, as well as restaurants of different cuisines!
Moreover, Moscow’s Hard Rock cafe is also located in Arbat Street where you could grab its own “Moscow” merchandises as collections!
Nearest Metro station: Arbatskaya; or Smolenskaya
OTHER OPTIONAL PLACES WORTH VISITING
Monument to prince vladimir.
Just opposite to the Kremlin’s Armoury (exit area), you will see the Monument to Prince Vladimir in which the huge statue is in relevance to the deepening of Russian – Ukraine split.
Around the statue, you will also see huge pieces of artwork that are displayed on several buildings.
World Clock Fountain
No, I do not know much about the world clock fountain. Nevertheless, it is located on the roof area just opposite of the State Historical Museum.
Gorky Park is a central park in Moscow and you may spend a good walk at night while you could find fun activities to do (eg. ice-skating).
Nearest Metro station: Oktyabrskaya
River Cruise with Flotilla Radisson Royal
If you’d have some spare time for the evening, you may take a river cruise along Moscow River. However, my experience cruising with Flotilla Radisson Royal was ordinary and nothing to shout about. Well, I could probably be bias as I had really great cruises elsewhere; like the ones in the fjords of Norway, or along the Danube River of Budapest in Hungary.
If you are cruising with Flotilla Radisson Royal, you ought to be seated in the dining area as you are not allowed to get on top of the cruise; which many other cruises in other countries allows you to do so. However, there are space available at the front that you could get out and take some pictures.
The river cruise costs RUB750 per adult and it cruises for about 2 hours. There is also a hired photographer that take photos of you; before you could choose to buy them for a fee. Also do take note of your point of departure as I get on-board the cruise from the Gorky Park.
You may visit Flotilla Radisson Royal Cruise – Website for more information.
The Sanduny Bath House is a cultural and architectural landmark in Moscow that was founded in year 1808. It follow the traditions whilst its interior were very historical. Bathing here costs you a lot of money but it outweighs a lifetime experience!
You may visit Sanduny Bath House – Website for more information.
Nearest Metro station: Trubnaya; or Kuznetsky Most
FOOD AND DRINKS YOU’D LIKE TO TRY
Lavkalavka restaurant.
Dumplings (with pumpkin ricotta and hot pumpkin sauce): RUB480
Ossobuco (with pumpkin mousse and wine sauce with dried persimmon): RUB1,250
Pike Perch (with a creamy coriander sauce, dry onions and spinach): RUB750
Medovik (traditional Russian cake with honey): RUB450
Caspary Brau (Lager) 500ml: RUB400
Honey sbiten with spices (ginger, red pepper, cloves, cinnamon, coriander, bay leaf, nutmeg): RUB350
One of the best places I have ever eaten in Moscow is a meal in Lavkalavka restaurant. It was a hidden gem and every plate that were served to us were delicious.
Although it is a little bit more expensive dining-in, the experience were still great that I couldn’t get them out of my mind. The servers were actually friendly and helpful by walking you through the menu although the Russian themselves don’t really put a wide smile on their faces with strangers.
You may visit Lavkalavka Restaurant – Website for more information.
Lepim I Varim
Mom’s Siberian Dumplings: RUB240 for 10 pieces
The Famous Shrimp (Prawns + Chicken): RUB190 for 5 pieces
Legendary Soup (Chicken): RUB120
If you don’t already know, dumplings are one of its local dishes where Lepim I Varim is an ideal place you should visit for some really good dumplings. Furthermore, there are several type of dumplings you may choose from and most importantly, they ain’t too expensive for a meal!
Overall, they tasted good and I’d certainly be back!
You may visit Lepim I Varim – Website for more information.
Cafe Pushkin
Homemade Baked Pie (stuffed with potatoes): RUB150
“Siberian” Dumplings with Broth: RUB720
Traditional Russian Dessert ‘Muraveynik’: RUB570
Hot Chocolate with Milk: RUB250 & Tea ‘Cafe Pushkin’: RUB130
The Cloakroom – Could you spot my jacket?
Cafe Pushkin has been opened since June 1999 with an influence of a long history; serving staples of Russian nobility cuisine in an atmosphere of the old aristocratic museum.
The service were top notch and there are several halls within (eg. Pharmacy Hall, Fireplace Hall, The Library and The Mezzanine, and The Summer Terrace) located within the mansion. Yes, dining-in can be really pricey but worth the try!
You may visit Cafe Pushkin – Website for more information.
Shake Shack
ShackBurger (Single): RUB280
SmokeShack (Single): RUB400
Cheese Fries: RUB240
Shake Shack is actually an American chain serving burgers and fries where you don’t see them on Southeast Asia’s market. Hence I’d give it a go!
Overall, the burgers were average but I’d say that the cheese fries are superb.
You may visit Shake Shack – Website for more information.
RECOMMENDED MEANS OF TRANSPORTATION
You may forget travelling from one location to another, except they are close enough like landmarks in Red Square and its Kremlin.
With the Troika card (as mentioned in the typical costs section below), you may hop into buses as well if you find your metro station is located really far away. Weird thing that inside these buses are installed with a rail where you are only permitted to enter upon paying your fares.
Here is the catch: You may use 1 Troika card for 2 persons by tapping onto the tapper twice (one person at a time) but there will be a cooling down period of 3 minutes before you can get the 2nd person in. At this stage, the bus is actually moving to the next station and you will cause a congestion at the front while the passengers of the following station hops in.
To fix this, you can either get yourself (2nd person) stuck at the front until 3 minutes ends and thereafter, re-tap your card to get in. Otherwise, 2 persons goes in tightly by only tapping onto the tapper once.
This way, you’d save one person’s fare but it may not be a correct thing to do although I have seen some locals doing like this. Otherwise, you’d just get 2 Troika cards and avoid the embarrassment.
Visiting & Travelling with Metro
It was said that by touching them, it gives you good luck!
By far (till date), I find Stockholm and Moscow’s metro stations to have really beautiful interiors and worth to alight at every station just to see how it looks! However, Moscow’s metro stations gives a sense of communism and that was something different to keep your eyes open!
Nevertheless, its metro has a huge network and it expands throughout the city centre. You may visit Moscow Metro – Network Map for more information on its network map.
TYPICAL COSTS AND MONEY SAVING TIPS
Hostel prices.
- Shared dorm rooms: Starts at RUB350 per pax/night, but RUB600 – 700 is average .
I am not too sure about hosteling in Moscow as the above gives you an insight of how much hosteling would have costs. Furthermore, prices may vary depending on your hostel’s location.
Hotel Prices
- Hotel rooms: Starts about RUB700 per night but a room at a 3-star hotel could possibly be about RUB2,700 – RUB3,300 at average per night for 2 persons. During my time in Moscow, I have stayed in Legendary Hotel Sovietsky and this hotel was founded in year 1951, being a grandiose building in the style of the Soviet classicism. Here are some images of how it looks:-
Food & Drinks
- Typical restaurant: An average meal could cost about RUB500 – RUB800; and
- Good restaurant: Could start as high as RUB1,200 – RUB2,000 for an average meal .
Transportation
- Troika Card: You may get this card at the ticketing counter “Kacca” by making a refundable deposit of RUB50. With this, you can reload your Troika card with credits and a single ride will normally cost RUB28 per adult.
Self-Ticketing Machine
Ticketing Counter
Ticketing Counter: Â You may get your Troika card here and get them reloaded at the same time. Some metro stations do have counters for English speakers only.
Self-Ticketing Machine: Most metro stations have them and you can reload your Troika card once your credits are running low. Otherwise, you may also purchase a single ride ticket from here too.
Tips: You may use 1 Troika card for 2 persons by tapping your card twice before getting in. Next, you should be able to estimate how many rides you will take and so you will not be overloading your Troika card with credits.
You may visit Metro – Fare Options (updated since 2 January 2018) for more information.
- Moscow Sheremetyevo Airport to City Centre: You may take the Aeroexpress train from Sheremetyevo Airport to Moscow City Centre (Belorussky station) for RUB500 per adult/way + 1 bus/metro ride for RUB60 (optional). Here is how Aeroexpress train looks like:
The Aeroexpress train takes about 35 minutes journey ride and you may visit Aeroexpress Train – Timetable for more information on its timetable. I highly recommend taking the Aeroexpress train as it got to be one of the most convenient and fastest transport you can take to Msocow city centre.
- Vilnius to Moscow (Aeroflot Airlines): If you happen to be travelling from the Baltic States (eg. Vilnius) to Moscow, you may take the Aeroflot Airlines as I booked mine for RUB6,838 per adult/way. Glad it includes check-in baggage as it is a full-service airline!
The flying time takes about 2 hours and 30minutes.
As Aeroflot is the flag carrier and the largest airline of the Russia Federation, I was so keen to hop on to experience how it was like. Overall, it was good except being frightened by the air stewardess as I should open the window shades *I fell asleep prior to landing in Moscow*.
- Moscow to Saint Petersburg (Sapsan High-Speed Train): You may take the Sapsan High-Speed Train (HSL) from Moscow (Leningradsky Railway Station) to Saint Petersburg (Moscow station) and I got my tickets for RUB2,525.40 per adult/way.
My journey from Moscow to Saint Petersburg takes about 4 hours of ride; and yes, this is a high-speed train as you couldn’t blame Russia for being that big in size!
My ride with Sapsan was amazing and everything goes smoothly. You should arrive early as they are pretty puncture when it comes to departure. They have got a coat/jacket rack too!
Admission Fares
To add up with all admission fares based on the above itinerary, they may rack up to an estimation of RUB2,000 – RUB2,500 per adult (including museums in Kremlin). This however, excludes your visit to some other museums and taking a bath at the famous bath houses, Sanduny.
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Home â Essay Samples â Geography & Travel â Travel and Tourism Industry â The History of Moscow City
The History of Moscow City
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A Powerful Statement of Resistance from a College Student on Trial in Moscow
By Masha Gessen
I was going to write a column about Wednesdayâs impeachment hearing , about the way it once again showcased the two non-overlapping realities into which American politics has split. But then I caught up on another hearing that took place on Wednesday, this one in a Moscow court. A twenty-one-year-old university student named Yegor Zhukov stood accused of âextremism,â for posting YouTube videos in which he talked about nonviolent protest, his campaign for a seat on the Moscow City Council, and different approaches to political power. In his most recent video, recorded four months ago, he suggested that âmadmenâ like Vladimir Putin view power as an end in itself, while political activists view it as an instrument of common action. In many of his vlog entries, Zhukov is seated against the backdrop of the Gadsden flagââDonât Tread on Meââwhich appears to hang in his bedroom in his parentsâ apartment. The prosecutor had asked for four years of prison time for Zhukov. On Friday, a Moscow court sentenced Zhukov to three yearsâ probationâan unusually light punishment probably explained by the public response to Zhukovâs speech, which several Russian media outlets dared to publish. Hundreds of people gathered in front of the courthouse on the day of the sentencing. As a condition of his probation, Zhukov is banned from posting to the Internet. The judge also ordered that the flag, which was confiscated by police, be destroyed.
Instead of writing my own column, I have translated Zhukovâs final statement, delivered in court on Wednesday. I did it because it is a beautiful text that makes for instructive reading. Parts of it seem to describe American reality as accurately as the Russian one. Parts of it show what resistance can be. All of it, I hope, will make readers think twice before they use the word âRussiansâ to mean goons . I also hope it will serve as a reminder of what we miss while we areârightlyâobsessed with American politics, which is made more provincial every day by its isolationist President and the need to try to reduce the harm he causes. As for the column I was going to write, I will still have plenty of opportunities to write it, while the very young man who spoke the following words will be unable to publish for the next three years.
âThis court hearing is concerned primarily with words and their meaning. We have discussed specific sentences, the subtleties of phrasing, different possible interpretations, and I hope that we have succeeded at showing to the honorable court that I am not an extremist, either from the point of view of linguistics or from the point of view of common sense. But now I would like to talk about a few things that are more basic than the meaning of words. I would like to talk about why I did the things I did, especially since the court expert offered his opinion on this. I would like to talk about my deep and true motives. The things that have motivated me to take up politics. The reasons why, among other things, I recorded videos for my blog.
âBut first I want to say this. The Russian state claims to be the worldâs last protector of traditional values. We are told that the state devotes a lot of resources to protecting the institution of the family, and to patriotism. We are also told that the most important traditional value is the Christian faith. Your Honor, I think this may actually be a good thing. The Christian ethic includes two values that I consider central for myself. First, responsibility. Christianity is based on the story of a person who dared to take up the burden of the world. Itâs the story of a person who accepted responsibility in the greatest possible sense of that word. In essence, the central concept of the Christian religion is the concept of individual responsibility.
âThe second value is love. âLove your neighbor as yourselfâ is the most important sentence of the Christian faith. Love is trust, empathy, humanity, mutual aid, and care. A society built on such love is a strong societyâprobably the strongest of all possible societies.
âTo understand why Iâve done what Iâve done, all you have to do is look at how the Russian state, which proudly claims to be a defender of these values, does in reality. Before we talk about responsibility, we have to consider what the ethics of a responsible person are. What are the words that a responsible individual repeats to himself throughout his life? I think these words are âRemember that your path will be difficult, at times unbearably so. All your loved ones will die. All your plans will go awry. You will be betrayed and abandoned. And you cannot escape death. Life is suffering. Accept it. But once you accept it, once you accept the inevitability of suffering, you must still accept your cross and follow your dream, because otherwise things will only get worse. Be an example, be someone on whom others can depend. Do not obey despots, fight for the freedom of body and soul, and build a country in which your children can be happy.â
âIs this really what we are taught? Is this really the ethics that children absorb at school? Are these the kinds of heroes we honor? No. Our society, as currently constituted, suppresses any possibility of human development. [Fewer than] ten per cent of Russians possess ninety per cent of the countryâs wealth. Some of these wealthy individuals are, of course, perfectly decent citizens, but most of this wealth is accumulated not through honest labor that benefits humanity but, plainly, through corruption.
âAn impenetrable barrier divides our society in two. All the money is concentrated at the top and no one up there is going to let it go. All thatâs left at the bottomâand this is no exaggerationâis despair. Knowing that they have nothing to hope for, that, no matter how hard they try, they cannot bring happiness to themselves or their families, Russian men take their aggression out on their wives, or drink themselves to death, or hang themselves. Russia has the worldâs [second] highest rate of suicide among men. As a result, a third of all Russian families are single mothers with their kids. I would like to know: Is this how we are protecting the institution of the family?
âMiron Fyodorov [a rap artist who performs under the name Oxxxymiron], who attended many of my court hearings, has observed that alcohol is cheaper than a textbook in Russian. The state is pushing Russians to make a choice between responsibility and irresponsibility, in favor of the latter.
âNow Iâd like to talk about love. Love is impossible in the absence of trust. Real trust is formed of common action. Common action is a rarity in a country where few people feel responsible. And where common action does occur, the guardians of the state immediately see it as a threat. It doesnât matter what you doâwhether you are helping prison inmates, speaking up for human rights, fighting for the environmentâsooner or later youâll either be branded a âforeign agentâ or just locked up. The stateâs message is clear: âGo back to your burrow and donât take part in common action. If we see more than two people together in the street, weâll jail you for protesting. If you work together on social issues, weâll assign you the status of a âforeign agent.â â Where can trust come from in a country like thisâand where can love grow? Iâm speaking not of romantic love but of the love of humanity.
âThe only social policy the Russian state pursues consistently is the policy of atomization. The state dehumanizes us in one anotherâs eyes. In the stateâs own eyes, we stopped being human a long time ago. Otherwise, why would it treat its citizens the way it does? Why does it punctuate its treatment of people through daily nightstick beatings, prison torture, inaction in the face of an H.I.V. epidemic, the closure of schools and hospitals, and so on?
âLetâs look at ourselves in the mirror. We let this be done to us, and who have we become? We have become a nation that has unlearned responsibility. We have become a nation that has unlearned love. More than two hundred years ago, Alexander Radishchev [widely regarded as the first Russian political writer], as he travelled from St. Petersburg to Moscow, wrote, âI gazed around myself, and my soul was wounded by human suffering. I then looked inside myself, and saw that manâs troubles come from man himself.â Where are these kinds of people today? Where are the people whose hearts ache this much for what is happening in our country? Why are hardly any people like this left?
âIt turns out that the only traditional institution that the Russian state truly respects and protects is the institution of autocracy. Autocracy aims to destroy anyone who actually wants to work for the benefit of the homeland, who isnât scared to love and take on responsibility. As a result, our long-suffering citizens have had to learn that initiative will be punished, that the boss is always right just because he is the boss, that happiness may be within reachâbut not for them. And having learned this, they gradually started to disappear. According to the state statistical authority, Russians are slowly vanishing, at the rate of four hundred thousand people a year. [Deaths exceeded births by nearly two hundred thousand in the first six months of 2019.] You canât see the people behind the statistics. But try to see them! These are the people who are drinking themselves to death from helplessness, the people freezing to death in unheated hospitals, the people murdered by others, and those who kill themselves. These are people. People like you and me.
âBy this point, itâs probably clear why I did what I did. I really want to see these two qualitiesâresponsibility and loveâin my fellow-citizens. Responsibility for oneâs self, for oneâs neighbors, for oneâs country. This wish of mine, Your Honor, is another reason why I could not have called for violence. Violence breeds impunity, which breeds irresponsibility. By the same token, violence does not bear love. Still, despite all obstacles, I have no doubt that my wish will come true. I am looking ahead, beyond the horizon of years, and I see a Russia full of responsible, loving people. It will be a truly happy place. I want everyone to imagine Russia like this. And I hope this image can lead you in your work, as it has led me in mine.
âIn conclusion, I would like to state that if the court decides that these words are spoken by a truly dangerous criminal, the next few years of my life will be marked by deprivation and adversity. But I look at the people [who have been jailed in the latest wave of activist arrests] and I see smiles on their faces. Two people I met briefly during pretrial detention, Lyosha Minyaylo and Danya Konon, never complained. I will try to follow their example. I will endeavor to take joy in having this chanceâthe chance to be tested in the name of values I hold dear. In the end, Your Honor, the more frightening my future, the broader the smile with which I look at it. Thank you.â
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2. Describe My Favorite Place Fresh out of college I moved to Steuben, Maine, right along the coast of Gouldsboro Bay. My dream as a kid was always to move to Maine; the farthest place from America without actually leaving America. I planned on working at my quiet accounting job for 30 years and retiring worry free, alone, happy.
Emily Henry's Happy Place was published in mid-2023 to widespread critical acclaim after her previous novels became overnight bestsellers and earned Henry rave reviews. As with her previous novels, Happy Place is a romance novel. The novel follows Harriet and Wyn, a seemingly happy couple who met in college. They subsequently got engaged.
Hey, it's me again, [Your Name], the 5th grader with a lot to share. Today, I'm taking you on a journey to my happy place. It's a spot where all my worries melt away, and I feel like I'm in a world of pure joy. My Happy Place: A Descriptive Adventure. As soon as I step into my happy place, I'm greeted by a burst of colors.
Where do you fit in the political typology? Are you a Faith and Flag Conservative? Progressive Left? Or somewhere in between? Take our quiz to find out which one of our nine political typology groups is your best match, compared with a nationally representative survey of more than 10,000 U.S. adults by Pew Research Center.
Antisemitism and calls for genocide have no place at a university. My priority has been the safety and security of our community, but that leaves plenty of room for robust disagreement and debate.
The book Happy Place explores two main things: relationships and second chances. It emphasizes the importance of relationships and the efforts to maintain them. Restoring meaningful relationships is essential to leading a happy and fulfilling life. Update this section! You can help us out by revising, improving and updating this section.
My journey from Moscow to Saint Petersburg takes about 4 hours of ride; and yes, this is a high-speed train as you couldn't blame Russia for being that big in size! My ride with Sapsan was amazing and everything goes smoothly. You should arrive early as they are pretty puncture when it comes to departure. They have got a coat/jacket rack too!
The History of Moscow City. Moscow is the capital and largest city of Russia as well as the. It is also the 4th largest city in the world, and is the first in size among all European cities. Moscow was founded in 1147 by Yuri Dolgoruki, a prince of the region. The town lay on important land and water trade routes, and it grew and prospered.
In essence, the central concept of the Christian religion is the concept of individual responsibility. "The second value is love. 'Love your neighbor as yourself' is the most important ...
teaching ChatGPT best practices in her writing workshop class at the University of Lynchburg in Virginia, said she sees the advantages for teachers using AI tools but takes issue with how it can ...