Monica Vermani C. Psych.

Social Networking

How your social media habits are damaging your relationships, are your social media activities causing real-life problems.

Posted August 9, 2023 | Reviewed by Davia Sills

  • Individuals are spending more time than ever on screens and electronic devices.
  • How people engage in social media can negatively impact real-life relationships with themselves and others.
  • It's important to take steps to manage one's social media engagement and care for important relationships.

We’ve all participated in or witnessed social disconnection in action… people gathered together, with gazes fixed on screens rather than interacting with one another. Screens and social media have become a part of everyday life. Social media , at its best, has provided us with many ways to connect, interact and expand our social networks exponentially. In 2022, on average, people spent 152 minutes a day on social networking … slightly higher than the previous year’s 147-minute average.

Clearly, social media is on the rise. Not just how much, but where, when, and how we engage in social media could be negatively impacting our real-life relationships. Our relationships matter. Our deep connections and close social and romantic relationships with others are key to our happiness and longevity.

What’s the problem?

Though social media has become a part of our regular lives, in terms of our awareness of and our ability to manage the impacts of social media on our relationships—our relationships with the people in our lives and with ourselves—we have some catching up to do.

“Social Media Use and Its Impact on Relationships and Emotions” (Christensen, Spencer Palmer), a 2018 Brigham Young University study , found that: “the more time an individual spent on social media, the more likely they were to experience a negative impact on their overall emotional well-being and a decreased quality in their relationships.” The study also found that social media use negatively impacted interpersonal relationships due to: “distraction, irritation, and decreased quality time with their significant other in offline settings” and that participants reported increased “frustration, depression , and social comparison” related to their engagement in social media.

Driving intimate partner disconnection

According to a 2019 Pew Research Center study , 51 percent of people in a committed relationship reported that their partner is: “often or sometimes distracted by their cellphone while they are trying to have a conversation with them, and 4 in 10 say they are at least sometimes bothered by the amount of time their partner spends on their mobile device.”

Besides the disconnection resulting from screen distractions, partners can often feel threatened by real or imagined online third parties, including rekindled connections to former partners, habitual engagement with social media influencers, and habitual use of online pornography . These forms of engagement can lead to insecurities, an erosion of trust, and relationship breakdowns.

Feelings of low self-worth

Although it is not unheard of for people to share their struggles and hard times on their social media platforms, most people present an upbeat, curated—and sometimes highly filtered and photoshopped—that is to say, unrealistic—version of their lives to their online followers. “The Effects of Active Social Media Engagement with Peers on Body Image in Young Women” by Jacqueline Hogue and Jennifer S Mills, a 2019 York University body image study , concluded that comparisons “may lead to increased body concerns in young women.” When we compare ourselves to people with out-of-reach lifestyles, career success, beauty, or wealth, these comparisons can lead to feelings of low self-esteem and hopelessness.

It is important that we build awareness of how our social media habits impact our relationships—with ourselves and the people we care about—and that we take steps to manage and take care of our time, our energy, and our real-life relationships.

7 steps to creating healthier social media habits

If your online life is negatively impacting your relationships…

Listen to what the people in your life are saying to you about your social media habits. Observe their reactions to your decreased interactions.

Build awareness about your social media habits and engagement. Make an effort to track the amount of time you spend online for a week.

Create healthy boundaries around your online activities if you find you are spending too much time on social media. Scheduling brief times throughout the day to engage in social media and silencing notifications from social media apps could be a healthy first step in curbing over-engagement.

Put some distance between you and your devices daily. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, take a walk, or meet up with friends and leave your devices behind.

Prioritize your real-life relationships. Make an effort to stay mindful of how your actions and presence impact other people, and be engaged in person with friends, colleagues, and family members.

is social media bad for relationships essay brainly

Unfollow unhealthy, unrealistic, attention -seeking social media influencers. Social media “models” and lifestyle influencers often present a false sense of who they are and set unrealistic goals and aspirations that can negatively impact your sense of self-worth or the self-worth of your partner.

Seek the help of a mental health professional if your social media engagement has led to feelings of low self-worth or depression or if your social media usage has become unmanageable.

Monica Vermani C. Psych.

Monica Vermani, C. Psych., is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of trauma, stress, mood and anxiety disorders, and the author of A Deeper Wellness .

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Advertisement

12 ways social media affects relationships, from research & experts.

Abby Moore

Romanticizing other people's relationships is not a new concept (thanks, rom-coms). Unlike a movie script, though, social media shows real couples living real lives.

But can looking at these seemingly perfect couples online interfere with our own romantic relationships? Here, how social media can affect your relationships and more.

How social media can affect relationships

Social media, if used sparingly, is not necessarily bad for relationships.

Research has shown social media use can both positively and negatively affect relationships , depending on how it's used.

For example, social media can contribute to unhealthy comparison and unrealistic expectations for what relationships are supposed to be like, and couples may spend more time curating an "image" of who they are rather than focusing on the relationship itself. 

Social media use has also been linked to poor body image and depression, which can negatively affect relationships.

Negative effects on relationships

Social media can create unrealistic expectations.

Although there are some useful resources shared via social media, "what you will mostly see are curated and filtered posts that only highlight unrealistic images of what a relationship is," says sex and behavioral therapist Chamin Ajjan, M.S., LCSW, A-CBT .

Attempting to measure up can distract you and your partner from the relationship.

Inevitably, real life won't look like the endless highlight reels we see on social media, which can lead to disappointment in either yourself, your partner, or both.

"You may begin to feel jealous of how much someone posts about their partner and feel resentment toward your partner for not doing the same," Ajjan says. "The lifestyles you are scrolling through may change how satisfied you are in your relationship because they seem to be better than what you have."

It can lead to jealousy

Some research has linked social media use with increased jealousy 1 and relationship dissatisfaction in college students.

If you are prone to jealousy because of an insecure attachment style , research says you may be more likely to get stuck in a cycle of endless scrolling to keep an eye on your partner's activities .

People may get upset seeing their partner liking or commenting on other people's posts, stoking concerns that their partner is interested in other people (or worse, is already cheating).

The use of Facebook, in particular, has been shown to increase feelings of suspicion and jealousy in romantic relationships among college students.

"This effect may be the result of a feedback loop, whereby using Facebook exposes people to often ambiguous information about their partner that they may not otherwise have access to," one study writes.

For example, cookies and Facebook algorithms can cause a partner's "hidden" interests to pop up on their feed.

The desire to find more information about them can perpetuate further social media use and feelings of mistrust.

(Notably, many of these studies have been conducted on college students, so it’s possible that there would be differences among older couples.)

Excessive social media use is linked to couples fighting more

A 2013 study found that, among couples who had been together for less than three years, spending more time on Facebook was linked with more "Facebook-related conflict" 2 and more negative relationship outcomes.

One study found that those who are dating people who overshare on social media 3 tend to have lower relationship satisfaction (though positive posts about the relationship itself every now and then seemed to mediate that effect).

Social media might make daily life seem less interesting

The drool-worthy image of a couple on vacation can trigger feelings of envy, which can keep you from appreciating where you are in the present moment. 

"Social media tends to ignore the gritty and mundane parts of a couple's lives," says Ken Page, LCSW , psychotherapist and host of The Deeper Dating Podcast .

Struggles, chores, compromise, and intimacy in the midst of challenges—these small mini triumphs are valuable, he says.

Just remember: A vacation can make you feel happy, but it's the everyday moments that lead to ultimate satisfaction .

When relationships end, it is so often those tiny, mundane moments that evoke the deepest nostalgia, Page adds. 

It can distract you from spending quality time with your partner

Though internet addiction 4 and Facebook addiction 5 are not considered mental health disorders by the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), researchers recognize both as dependence issues, which can interfere with quality of life.

The more we become hooked on the dopamine rush of social media, Page says, the less engaged or excited we will feel for the quieter, simpler moments of life.

"But those are often the moments when our loved one reveals something personal and intimate," he explains.

Next time you and your partner are together and both focused on your phones, bring awareness to that.

"Practice valuing real-time connection over internet connection," he says. This can help increase emotional intimacy. 

It can affect our mental health

Even though social media is meant to promote connection, multiple studies have linked social media use with loneliness 6 , mood disorders, and poor self-esteem 7 .

People with preexisting mental health issues may also be more susceptible to social comparisons, due to a negative cognitive bias 8 , one study found.

On the flip side, lowering social media use has been shown to reduce loneliness and depression symptoms .

Though these issues are more individualistic than relational, they can bleed into romantic relationships.

When a partner is suffering from mental health issues , they may be closed off to intimacy or become codependent .

It can lead to body image issues

The filtered and edited images you see all over social media can cause insecurities about your own body to surface, Ajjan says.

Several studies have linked social media use and body image issues 9 .

A person's body image issues can significantly affect their relationships.

One Journal of the International Society for Sexual Medicine study shows that heterosexual women with body image issues 10 have a harder time becoming sexually aroused. 

Another study found the way wives perceive their own sexual attractiveness 11 , based on negative body image, directly affects the marital quality of both the wife and the husband.  

In other words, these insecurities triggered by social media can interfere with emotional and physical intimacy and the overall quality of a relationship. 

It can make us more narcissistic

Excessive social media use is linked to narcissistic traits 12 in some cases.

Research confirms that addictive social media use reflects a need to feed the ego and an attempt to improve self-esteem, both of which are narcissistic traits.

And different types of social media play into different aspects of narcissism.

For example, people who frequently tweet or post selfies may be displaying grandiosity, one of the common traits of narcissism .

Since you can be narcissistic without having a personality disorder , it's possible to develop these traits over time—and at least one small study has found excess social media use may be a trigger .  

And of course, being in a relationship with a narcissist is not healthy and can lead to trauma later on.

Positive effects on relationships

Social media helps single people meet each other.

In the digital age we live in, it's not uncommon for people to meet online or through dating apps—in fact, it may be more common.

A 2017 survey found 39% of heterosexual couples reported meeting their partner online, compared to just 22% in 2009.

A later study analyzing the results found that " Internet meeting is displacing the roles that family and friends once played in bringing couples together."

According to one survey , online dating can be especially helpful for the LGBTQ+ community .

Of the adults who took the survey, 28% say they met their current partner online, compared with 11% of partnered straight adults.

It can keep you connected to your partner

Whether it's sending a funny meme over Instagram or taking a quick Snapchat, social media is an easy way for couples to interact throughout the day in a fun, low-pressure manner.

This is particularly helpful for couples who don't live together and people in long-distance relationships . According to a survey published in the Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking journal, young adults in long-distance romantic relationships 13 are better able to maintain them if they're using social networking sites.

People who have their partner in their profile photo or have their relationship status public on Facebook also tend to be happier with their relationship 14 , for what that's worth.

You can learn about relationships from experts

"There are plenty of accounts that offer up good information to help develop and maintain a healthy connection," Ajjan says. "There is a lot of good information on social media from relationship bloggers, psychotherapists, and many others that highlight how to improve your relationship."

As long as it's coming from a place of growth and not comparison, this type of social media can motivate you to work on parts of the relationship that have been neglected, she explains.  

It's like a time capsule of memories

Social media platforms have practically replaced printed photograph albums as a place to store and share our memories.

In this sense, Page says social media can be used to honor the activities you do and the things you create together. 

Unlike a physical photo album, social media has the added component of followers.

"In this way, social media can be an institutionalized way to express love publicly and invite community support," he says, "both of which enhance a couple's ability to flourish." 

Tips to manage social media use

  • Turn off your notifications. One study 15 found that smartphone notifications can cause a decline in task performance and negatively influence cognitive function and concentration. Turn off your notifications to avoid any distractions and focus more on the present.
  • Set aside a time to scroll. Whether that be every hour or every few hours, designate 15-20 minutes to getting on social media, answering texts, or taking calls to avoid the constant urge to get on your phone and scroll and focus on quality time with your partner.
  • Try a social media detox. Research shows that intentionally refraining from getting on social media can prevent harmful effects and reduce the risk of compulsive social media behavior in individuals. Designate a period of days, weeks, or even months to avoid any social media use.
  • Be transparent and communicate. If you are struggling with your body-image or find yourself feeling jealous or insecure, talk with your partner and explain how you are feeling. It may be time to avoid getting on social media altogether and focus on quality time with your significant other.

The takeaway

Scrolling through social media all day is, unfortunately, not a hard habit to pick up.

While these platforms can offer helpful resources, they can also lead to jealousy, mental health issues, and unrealistic expectations in relationships.

On top of that, the act of being on your phone constantly can distract from intimacy with a partner. 

"Social media is not all bad," Ajjan says, "but if you find yourself comparing your relationship to what you are seeing online, it may be helpful to unfollow accounts that make you feel bad and focus more on accounts that make you feel empowered in your relationship."

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  • https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0212186
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  • https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/28940179/
  • https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6861923/
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  • https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4912993/

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is social media bad for relationships essay brainly

The Impact of Social Media on Relationships

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In 2019, the average person spent 144 minutes per day on social media (Clement, 2020). According to Media Dependency Theory, the higher dependence a person has on media the stronger the influence of media on the individual’s perceptions and behaviors (Joo & Teng, 2017, p. 36). A study conducted in 2018 by Brigham Young University found that extensive social media usage is linked with decreased emotional wellness and lower satisfaction in interpersonal relationships (Christensen, 2018). In other words, if you think your relationship is being negatively impacted by social media, you are not being “dramatic,” it actually is (you can read more here ) . 

It’s important not to downplay or dismiss the role social media plays in relationships. Acknowledging and talking about it can actually help strengthen your bond.

Benefits of Social Media

Let’s highlight the positives first. A survey conducted by the American Psychological Association found that 55% of Gen Z feel supported through social media. Social media allows people to connect to family and friends who might be on the other side of the world. You can connect with people who have similar interests who you might never meet otherwise. In romantic relationships, where couples are long-distance or have to travel often for work, it can help them feel like they are part of each other’s day-to-day life, even when apart. Social media has also become a hub for mental health professionals and relationship experts like myself —making support and education that can motivate individuals and couples to seek help.

Is Social Media a Threat to your Relationship?

Social Media can become a threat to your romantic relationship when meaning and boundaries are not clearly defined and agreed upon. As well as, when couples fall into a comparison trap.

Life is full of symbols that hold different meanings depending on lived experiences, family of origin, and culture. It’s important that you discuss with your partner what social media symbolizes and what meaning it holds for the two of you. Understanding what social media represents for each of you, might help you understand how your partner chooses to engage online.

Boundaries 

Boundaries get a bad reputation. For many, it feels like a “bad word.” The truth is that boundaries allow you to love the other person in a way they can feel.  Digital boundaries come up in my work with couples all the time because we all live in a world that is more interconnected than ever. 

Talk about expectations about the role social media will play in your relationship. Thinking that social media and real-life are two different parallel spaces will only lead you to feel frustrated and disappointed. 

Digital boundaries need to be discussed from the start of the relationship. Consider the following:

  • Do you update your relationship status?
  • How much do you share about your relationship on social media?
  • Who do you follow?
  • What pictures do you like or leave comments on?
  • How do you navigate direct messages?
  • Do you share your login information with your partner?
  • How much time is spent on social media?

This one might be the most challenging one, even for the couples who are self-aware and communicate clearly about their engagement on social media. People can go above and beyond to curate a perfect feed with the enhanced highlights of their relationship. The beautiful bouquet of lush flowers, the five-star weekly dinner dates, the romantic beachfront getaways they go on every other weekend, the vintage custom-made ring, and the heartfelt poems they write to each other just because. This is all you see. You don’t see the criticism or the defensiveness. You don’t see them crying. You don’t see the hard conversations and the vulnerability that accompanies those. You don’t see the behind-the-scenes. Yet, you compare your good enough and imperfect relationship to a perfectly curated “Instagramable” relationship. 

This is the recipe for perpetual disappointment because your reality will never measure up to the highlights of someone else’s relationship. Oftentimes, when you fall into the comparison trap, your insecurities bubble up to the surface. Maybe you feel insecure about your partner’s commitment and this is triggered when you see couples getting engaged, moving in together, or buying their first home. Maybe you feel insecure because you crave more quality time and this is triggered when you see other couples going on regular date nights and couples-only vacations. Regardless of your insecurities, don’t allow social media to fuel arguments between you and your partner. Your relationship is not less real because it’s not up to par with the social media standards of the perfect relationship.

How to Navigate Social Media as a Couple

  • Prioritize quality time without social media
  • Check-in with your partner before you post about them or your relationship
  • Don’t snoop through your partner’s social media
  • If you wouldn’t do it in- person, then don’t do it online
  • Tone and intent are harder to gauge online, so give your partner the benefit of doubt
  • Have ongoing conversations about social media and your relationship

Final Thought

Despite how digitized life is, it’s easy to feel uncomfortable talking about the impact social media has on relationships. Social media seems too trivial to argue about. Yet, it brings up real feelings, and those matter. 

Addressing social media boundaries doesn’t have to be a colossal challenge. Be willing to have open and ongoing honest conversations with your partner with the goal of better understanding each other. Also, work together to establish boundaries that lead to emotional and commitment safety within the relationship. 

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Genesis Games is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and the owner of a virtual practice located in Sunny South Florida. She is a Level 3 Gottman Method trained couples therapist. She works with individuals and couples navigating a variety of relationship issues and life adjustments. Genesis is passionate about making relationship wellness and mental health information readily accessible and easy to digest. She has created a complementary and interactive online course on healthy relationships. Visit her website for more information on her work.  Follow her on Twitter and Instagram .

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is social media bad for relationships essay brainly

Is Social Media Bad for Relationships Argumentative Essay

This argumentative essay will discuss whether social media has a negative impact on personal relationships. It will explore how social media can lead to miscommunications, jealousy, and a lack of privacy, potentially damaging relationships. The piece will also present counterarguments, including how social media can strengthen connections and offer new ways of communication. The essay will evaluate evidence from various studies and expert opinions to support the arguments. Moreover, at PapersOwl, there are additional free essay samples connected to Effects Of Social Media.

How it works

Social media has transformed how we communicate, connect, and exchange information in the modern era. While social media platforms have many advantages, there is a rising concern about their impact on relationships. This paper investigates the risks of social media platforms and how they can impair people’s social and sexual relationships. By examining the consequences of social media on relationships, including the effects on mental health, interpersonal skills, trust, and privacy, we can better understand the potential risks and make informed decisions about our social media usage.

  • 1 The Effects of Media on Relationships
  • 2 Social Media and Alienation

The Effects of Media on Relationships

Addiction to social media can cause anxiety and depression, negatively impacting people’s well-being and capacity to have meaningful conversations with their loved ones. Because social media is addictive, people may become less aware of the feelings, expectations, and experiences of those around them, leading to a decline in participation in formerly enjoyable activities. Continued reliance on social media for solace can exacerbate mental health difficulties and impede personal and interpersonal achievement.

Prolonged usage of social media can lead to bad interactions between people in different relationships, such as siblings, parents, children, or romantic partners. This decline in interpersonal competencies inhibits effective communication and impedes the formation of relationships. Bonding weakens over time, resulting in instability and discontent. Individuals in a relationship who are disengaged can have difficulty problem-solving and understanding each other’s expectations and social cues.

Addiction to social media is linked to feelings of jealousy and loneliness. Individuals that rely solely on social media platforms for communication and connection miss out on critical social skills development, appreciating personal differences, and maintaining relationships. This loss of self-esteem and fewer face-to-face interactions can lead to interpersonal issues, increasing the risk of failure and negatively altering the experiences of the individuals involved.

Social Media and Alienation

Contrary to popular assumption, social networking platforms can help people create and maintain connections. According to a study, people use social media as a phatic tool to develop and explore relationships with others, building a sense of belonging and lessening feelings of alienation. People can use social media to express themselves, connect with others who share their interests, and strengthen community ties.

Alienation can result from a lack of control and power over one’s own expression. However, social media platforms enable people to express themselves and shape societal values. Social media lessens feelings of alienation by giving people power and control over their lives by allowing anyone to have a voice and impact the world. Furthermore, the greater social regulation and moral advice made possible by social media help to reduce alienation by involving a broader spectrum of opinions.

While social media can be exploitative, it does not always result in isolation. Users actively create content, express themselves, communicate with others, and boost their overall platform engagement. This active participation can aid in developing a sense of empowerment and connection, as well as reducing feelings of alienation and creating a more inclusive online community.

Social media platforms have both beneficial and negative effects on relationships. While social media can provide chances for connection and self-expression, overuse can result in diminished social skills, trust concerns, and a loss of privacy, ultimately hurting individual bonds. Maintaining a balance between online and offline relationships and being aware of social media’s possible risks and problems are critical.

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