do they have homework in ireland

President Michael D Higgins calls for homework to be banned in Ireland

The country’s favourite leader has given hope to a new generation of students that the bane of their afterschool evenings could be scrapped.

• 13:32, 20 JAN 2023
• Updated 14:54, 20 JAN 2023

President Michal D Higgins has called for homework to be banned.

President Higgins argues that this would make time for young people to engage in more creative pursuits outside school hours.

The former Arts Minister believes that school activities should end at the school gate.

He was speaking to RTE’s news2day current affairs and news programme for children on the occasion of the programme’s 20th birthday.

When asked what his opinion of homework President Higgins said: “I think myself, really that the time at home, and the time in the school is an educational experience and it should get finished at the school and people should be able to use their time for other creative things.”

To mark the show’s two decades on air, students from St Kevin’s National School, Littleton, County Tipperary put questions from RTÉ news2day viewers to President Higgins at Áras an Uachtaráin.

In a wide-ranging interview, the children asked the President questions like, what was your favourite sport when you were in school?

When you were nine years old what did you want to be?

And when did you decide you wanted to be President?

The students also asked the President about his dogs, his official trips abroad, his favourite subject in school, differences between now and when he was a child and his favourite book. The President also spoke to the children about his love of handball and the importance of friendship in their lives.

RTÉ news2day will broadcast some of the President’s interview as part of Friday afternoon’s birthday celebrations at 4.20pm on RTÉ2 and RTÉ News channel and the full interview will be available later on Friday evening on the RTÉ Player.

In a message to the children of Ireland and the viewers of RTÉ news2day, President Michael D. Higgins gave this advice: “To stay curious about everything and I think it’s important to make sure you don’t miss the joy of sharing information.

“And I think an important thing is friendship and to make sure that there’s no one left without friendship and that people belong. And we will all do individual things... but I think friendships that you make will in fact always be great memories and that is so important.

“And also have the courage to stand your own ground and let other children be allowed the space of standing their ground too because none of us are the same.

“We’re all unique but at the same time we have a lot going for us.”

President Higgins also encouraged the children of Ireland to speak the Irish language.

He encouraged them to speak Irish in a fun way and to feel free to use whatever bits of the language that they have.

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President Michael D Higgins says homework should be banned in Ireland

The country’s favourite leader believes that school activities should end at the school gate and students should be encouraged to engage in more creative pursuits

• 10:39, 21 JAN 2023

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President Michael D Higgins has called for homework to be banned.

The country’s favourite leader has given hope to a new generation of students that the bane of their afterschool evenings could be scrapped. President Higgins argues that this would make time for young people to engage in more creative pursuits outside school hours.

The former Arts Minister believes that school activities should end at the school gate. He was speaking to RTE’s news2day current affairs and news programme for children on the occasion of the programme’s 20th birthday.

Read more: Children being 'corrupted' by drug dealing situation in Oliver Bond flats, Dail told

When asked what his opinion of homework President Higgins said: “I think myself, really that the time at home, and the time in the school is an educational experience and it should get finished at the school and people should be able to use their time for other creative things.”

To mark the show’s two decades on air, students from St Kevin’s National School, Littleton, County Tipperary put questions from RTÉ news2day viewers to President Higgins at Áras an Uachtaráin. In a wide-ranging interview, the children asked the President questions like, what was your favourite sport when you were in school?

When you were nine years old what did you want to be? And when did you decide you wanted to be President?

The students also asked the President about his dogs, his official trips abroad, his favourite subject in school, differences between now and when he was a child and his favourite book. The President also spoke to the children about his love of handball and the importance of friendship in their lives.

RTÉ news2day will broadcast some of the President’s interview as part of Friday afternoon’s birthday celebrations at 4.20pm on RTÉ2 and RTÉ News channel and the full interview will be available later on Friday evening on the RTÉ Player. In a message to the children of Ireland and the viewers of RTÉ news2day, President Michael D. Higgins gave this advice: “To stay curious about everything and I think it’s important to make sure you don’t miss the joy of sharing information.

“And I think an important thing is friendship and to make sure that there’s no one left without friendship and that people belong. And we will all do individual things... but I think friendships that you make will in fact always be great memories and that is so important. And also have the courage to stand your own ground and let other children be allowed the space of standing their ground too because none of us are the same.

“We’re all unique but at the same time we have a lot going for us.” President Higgins also encouraged the children of Ireland to speak the Irish language.

He encouraged them to speak Irish in a fun way and to feel free to use whatever bits of the language that they have.

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President of Ireland calls on schools to stop giving pupils homework

Children should be able to use time at home ‘for other creative things’, says michael d higgins, article bookmarked.

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Schools should strive not to give pupils homework where possible, the president of Ireland has suggested.

In an utterance likely to be seized upon by children for years to come, in classrooms far beyond the shores of the Emerald Isle, Michael D Higgins argued that school should not extend beyond the final bell.

“Time in school … should get finished in school,” the president told pupils at a school in County Tipperary this week during a broadcast for RTE.

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Students and parents plead case for homework ban

School children and parents pleaded with the Minister for Education Norma Foley to step in and introduce a homework ban.

In letters to the minister, kids wrote about how they were being forced to give up hobbies because they were given so much work to do after school.

The correspondence followed comments by President Michael D Higgins in January that a ban on homework should be considered.

In one letter, a school child wrote about how seven hours of school each day was “plenty of education” and that more work on top was unnecessary.

“I do not ask for homework to be completely banned but for it to be reduced to a certain limit. Otherwise, if there is a constant build-up of homework daily, it can cause stress and even a lack of exercise which will affect a person’s well-being.”

Another said they felt homework was a “waste of time” and that a ban should be introduced.

They wrote: “Kids should be doing more creative things with their time after school. Many kids have had to stop doing hobbies they have because of it.

“It is a burden to parents, kids, and teachers [and] so for the above reasons, I think you should BAN HOMEWORK!”

Homework annoys teachers

One hand-written letter, decorated with a Minnie Mouse bow, said homework was “annoying for teachers and pupils”.

“I play soccer and love writing stories, but because of homework, I have no time for doing these things. For teachers, it gives them more copies to correct and they have to go through the trouble of deciding what [homework] to give.”

A secondary school student said that if “sleeping isn’t for school” then “work isn’t for home”.

They explained how they did between one and two hours of homework every evening after school and sometimes more.

“When I would finish, there would be barely any time for me to relax before I had to go to bed to get enough sleep to get up in the morning,” said their letter.

“As I’m sure you’re aware, our president Michael D Higgins also thinks that homework should be banned so if you don’t want to listen to me, listen to our President.”

Another suggested there could at least be a compromise so that students would not be given homework for over the weekend.

“[This would relieve] students of mental stress,” they said.

Help parents

One young student said they were left with no time to help their parents, or to learn how to cook or do other activities around the house.

They said: “We all do activities like swimming, dance, and all other sports. It’s hard work and it’s stressful and it’s unfair.”

A single parent also wrote in to explain how one of their children was getting two hours of written homework every day.

They said: “We need time to teach them life skills such as sewing, cooking, how to work the washing machine, change their own bed sheets and personal care.

“These teachings are very hard for parents with zero [time] left in the evenings. There is no time for them to spend with siblings and parents because they are so tired.”

In responses, the Department of Education told the letter writers that homework policy was not within its powers.

In emails, they said: “The Department does not issue direct guidelines relating to homework being given in schools. It is a matter for each school, at local level, to arrive at its own homework policy.

“In keeping with good practice, the process of drafting a homework policy should involve consultation with teachers, parents, and students.

“However, the Department does acknowledge that homework can play an important part in helping pupils prepare for forthcoming class work and in reinforcing work already covered during class time.”

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Banning homework: Taoiseach says schoolchildren get too much homework but doesn't call for ban

Varadkar said he'd have to speak to Minister for Education, Norma Foley, about the matter

• 15:07, 30 JAN 2023
• Updated 13:12, 20 JUL 2023

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Taoiseach Leo Varadkar has said he will talk to Minister for Education, Norma Foley, on the issue of getting rid of homework.

Varadkar on homework

While Varadkar didn't say he supported call to ban homework for schoolchildren, he did tell Newstalk that he felt some children get "too much" homework.

Asked about the homework debate today, Varadkar said he'd have to speak to Foley about it.

"We haven't had a chance to discuss it," he said.

Varadkar added that he "definitely" think kids have "too much homework".

"You could have a long day in class, get home in the early evening and then face three hours of homework.

"I remember that when I was a kid, staying up very late to do homework.

"I think there's definitely a place for homework but we need to make sure that there isn't too much of it."

The debate was sparked by President Michael D Higgins saying he was in favour of getting rid of homework.

Support for banning homework

Speaking on RTÉ last week, Higgins argued that getting rid of homework would allow young people more time to engage in creative pursuits outside of school hours.

The president was asked for his thoughts on homework and responded that he wasn't in favour of it.

"I think myself, really that the time at home, and the time in the school is an educational experience and it should get finished at the school and people should be able to use their time for other creative things."

When Varadkar was asked if he minded Higgins making a public comment on homework, the Taoiseach responded that the president's comments are "always welcome".

School policy on homework

Minister for Education, Norma Foley, has said she won't debate the homework ban issue with President Michael D Higgins.

A little over a week ago, Higgins told the nation's children that he was against schoolwork continuing beyond the school gates, in an address broadcast on RTÉ's news2day.

Foley said it was up to schools to decide on their homework policy.

She told The Irish Mirror that she wasn't going to get into it with the president.

"It would not be appropriate for a government minister to engage in public debate with the office of the president," she said.

"Currently schools are free to have their own policy on homework and these policies are created in conjunction with senior management and staff, the boards of management, parents and the pupils.

"Schools are in of themselves places where creative pursuits are cultivated, nurtured and encouraged and that creativity may also be reflected in homework."

In a recent poll, it was revealed that Irish Mirror readers were overwhelmingly in favour of banning homework, with 98 per cent of readers voting in favour of a ban.

In a landslide decision, 57,440 readers voted yes, while just 1,211 voted no.

Benefits of homework

Minister Foley recently said that her department doesn't "issue any guidelines relating to homework being given in schools.

"It is a matter for each school, at local level, to arrive at its own homework policy".

It followed a question from Fine Gael's Neale Richmond who asked if research has been carried out by her department into the benefits of ending the provision of homework for primary school pupils.

He told The Irish Mirror that children should be involved in conversations about their schools homework policy.

Minister Richmond said: "I submitted the Parliamentary Question following a visit to one of my local primary schools.

"The pupils were genuinely interested in the policy relating to homework going forward and I agreed it's an important discussion to involve pupils in."

Foley told her government colleague that the Department of Education has not commissioned research on the matter.

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14th Mar 2023

Pupils and parents call on government to introduce homework ban

Kat O'Connor

Is it time to ban homework in Ireland?

Parents and pupils are calling on Minister for Education Norma Foley to ban homework in Ireland.

Many parents have voiced their concerns about the level of homework their kids get, but they’re taking it a step further by writing to the Education Minister.

Foley has received multiple letters from both children and parents about why a homework ban is needed.

According to The Irish Examiner , children revealed that homework is having a negative impact on their lives outside of school.

Many pupils believe they do enough work in school and stressed that there is little benefit to spending hours doing homework in the evenings.

One child wrote;

“I do not ask for homework to be completely banned but for it to be reduced to a certain limit. Otherwise, if there is a constant build-up of homework daily, it can cause stress and even a lack of exercise which will affect a person’s well-being.”

Many children told Foley that homework was “a waste of time”. Others said it was a “burden to parents, kids, and teachers.”

Varadkar said homework should not be banned completely

Both Leo Varadkar and Michael D. Higgins have expressed concerns about the amount of homework children are getting in Ireland.

However, Varadkar does not believe in a complete ban on homework.

He previously said there’s a place for homework in our education system, but we need to have a fair balance.

“You could have a long day in class, get home in the early evening, and then face, you know, three hours of homework.

“I remember that when I was a kid, staying up very late to do homework,” he shared.

Varadkar stressed that it shouldn’t be banned completely, but scaled back.

President Higgins also voiced his concerns about homework

The President of Ireland agreed with parents and said children should have more free time after school.

He told RTÉ’s news2day: “I think myself, really that the time at home and the time in school is an educational experience and it should get finished at the school and people should be able to use their time for other creative things.”

Do you think homework should be banned in Ireland?

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'Why I believe homework should be banned', by one primary school student

As the discussion around state exams through the Covid-19 shutdown continues, a separate debate about the very need for homework itself rumbles on. Over the years, many have argued that homework for students in busy modern-day family structures is no longer workable.

This year, the Green Party sought to open a discussion about the banning of homework in future. Here, primary school pupil Misha McEnaney, a fifth class student from Dublin, outlines why he believes homework is more of a hindrance than a help.

IRISH CHILDREN SPEND around 274.5 hours on homework in a year. Is it a waste of time? Generally speaking, homework does not improve academic performance among children, although it may improve academic skills among older students especially lower-achieving kids. Homework also creates stress among students who could be doing other things.

I think it is a waste of time. Here’s why I think so. 

Many students think homework is extremely boring and hard so it increases our stress levels. You might fight with your family or friends and that gives the impression you are angry and irritated when often it’s just because your homework is increasing your stress.

Also, a study by scholar Denise Pope at Stanford shows that out of 4,300 students at high-performance schools, 60% stated that their homework was their primary source of stress.

Movement is more important

I believe that homework eliminates time when you could be exercising, playing sports, carrying out hobbies, reading etc. So when your friends are playing outside or something exciting or important is happening you can’t go out because you’re stuck inside doing your homework. 

Homework messes up your sleep cycles and it causes you to be more tired. After school when you’re tired from working you still have to do your homework, so you don’t deliver your full concentration and that makes your performance not as acceptable as it should be. This can cause your grade to go down and so that defeats the whole point of education to become better and smarter. 

A study from teenink.com shows that students perform best in school when they receive 10–12 hours of sleep each night, while only 15% of teenagers in America reported themselves sleeping eight hours or more on school nights, according to the national sleep foundation of America. Sleep disruption is very bad for our health.

Teacher trust

If you’re completely booked up for the day doing sports or other activities you have no time to do your homework. Your teachers start to trust you less and less and this develops a bad view of you when it’s not entirely your fault. 

It’s also repetitive so you’re doing the same work at school and there’s no effectiveness, it’s not going in. So all that homework becomes a waste because you have already completed it at school. You can also easily get distracted.

Homework takes away revision time for tests and that can affect the test scores. That develops a bad reputation for the student and for the school. The parents then assume that the teaching at the school is bad and they might move school. So the kid might lose friends and over time the school becomes less liked and popular.

All because there is too much homework. 

Bad for the mood

If you don’t sleep enough it can cause mood swings which can affect students’ performance and relationships. To think we can stop all of this by just banning homework makes me wonder why schools still give out homework at all.

People who believe that homework should not be banned have reasonable points and arguments. They believe that doing homework at home can be better for the students and they would receive higher results. 

They also think the parents of the students will have an idea of what type of work they are doing in the classroom, at what scale the student is doing their work and how the student is doing that work. There is absolutely no reason why parents shouldn’t know what the student’s work is like. 

Some people believe that homework boosts interaction between a student and his or her teacher. Homework might develop their presentation skills. They believe that homework is “a remedy against weaknesses”. These can all be done at school. They believe it teaches the students responsibility because they have to make sure that they do their work and not lose it or destroy it. 

They think the students learn much more new information as well as in school. So people think it teaches the students important life skills. They also think it keeps the students busy and entertained. I would argue that these should all be the responsibility of parents, not school.

A shift in the debate

The Green Party in Ireland has promised to explore the banning of homework for primary school children. They also vow to review primary and secondary schools curriculum “to meet the needs of the 21st century”. Catherine Martin, deputy leader of the Green Party, said that “the phasing out of homework is something that definitely should be explored”. 

“This isn’t new, this has been on our policy for the past several years. And I think we really need to have a conversation on how best to develop the creative juices of our children, or really change how we do homework, homework could be, ‘go home and draw a picture of something that means a lot to you’,” she said.

“They’re so young, especially up to the age of seven or eight, it’s a conversation that we need to have”. 

She used the example of Loreto Primary School in Rathfarnham, Dublin, which is currently trialling a “no-homework” programme for all classes except sixth. Ms Martin said that they had found the pilot scheme “amazing” and children were spending a lot more time with their families as a result. 

Mental health considerations

Psychotherapist Mary McHugh believes that we are reducing children’s natural “curious, imaginative and creative” tendencies by “pressuring them to conform”. 

“Our children from the age of three, are being trained to sit still and from five upwards, it’s expected that this is the norm.” McHugh also says that “stress is showing up at an alarming scale and we’re still applying more pressure academically younger and younger”. 

Let’s look at Finland. In Finland, there is no homework in all schools. Finland agrees that there should be no homework because it increases stress, it wastes time etc. Finnish students regularly top the charts on global education metric systems.

Some 93% of Finnish students graduate from secondary school compared to 75% in the USA and 78% in Canada. About two in every three students in Finland go to college which is the highest rate in Europe. The students’ test scores dominate everyone else.  These are the scores for the PISA test (Program for International Student Assessment) 2006.  There are other reasons why Finland’s education system is so good but no homework is definitely an important one. 

Homework increases stress levels among students. It replaces time for hobbies and sports. It messes up your sleep. It can’t always be done and that causes trouble. It’s repetitive. You can develop health problems from lack of sleep.

It takes away time for studying and also when you don’t get enough sleep you can get mood swings and that can affect performance and relationships. There are reasonable arguments for why people who believe that homework shouldn’t be banned are wrong.

We have seen that the Green Party also thinks that homework should be banned and that some schools have already trialled it. We have looked at Finland banning homework and we have seen the impact it has made compared to other countries. This is why I think homework should be banned, not just in my school but in all schools. 

Misha McEnaney is a fifth class student at St Mary’s College, Rathmines, Dublin.

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Irish students do WAY more homework than kids in other countries

IT’S OFFICIAL – IRISH kids have it tough.

Irish students have the second highest amount of homework to get through outside of class when compared to the rest of the world – according to a new study.

The data, compiled by the OECD on 15 year-old students, shows Irish school-goers do an average of 7.3 hours of homework per week – well ahead of every single other country in the study, apart from Italy.

The Italians are the only country ahead of Ireland on the list, with students there putting up with a massive 8.7 hours a week.

As the graph by Forbes shows, we are ahead of the US, France, Germany and nearly every other nation that was part of the worldwide study.

Finland highest education EU ranking yet only 2.8hrs homework p/wk. Ireland 2nd highest 7.3hrs http://t.co/8qRkeTuDd4 pic.twitter.com/501LMCyOi2 — Olivia O'Sullivan (@oliviaos) February 19, 2015

Quite the, eh, achievement for Ireland?

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What's the right amount of homework?

IS IT a bore for the kids, another layer of labour for frazzled mums — or a crucial route to academic success?

Children’s homework and the time it takes are problems for parents — homework is described as the “thorniest issue” at primary school, by a representative of the Irish National Teachers’ organisation.

Most schools have a homework policy, because parents are puzzled. One primary school, in Kildare, runs homework information meetings for parents, at their request, while one second-level school clarifies what’s expected of first years. When Jen Maher’s eldest, Olive, started at second level, Jen joined the Parents’ Council to become familiar with the homework system. Olive is now in transition year at Colaiste na Toirbhirte in Bandon, and her youngest sister, Alice, is in first year. Jen says a responsible attitude to homework is crucial. Her children are expected to be conscientious.

“It’s a leap from primary school to first year, with all the extra subjects and teachers and that can be difficult,” Jen says. Alice spends one to one-and-a-half hours on her homework, while, in Junior Cert, Olive “did three or more hours a night. I’m happy with what they’re doing,” Jen says. “I never went rooting to see what homework they had, but they knew they were expected to be responsible about it.”

By second-level, many students are less open about their lives, so it’s a good idea to join a network of other parents. “I joined the Parents’ Council to see how things operated,” says Maher. “I found it was a great help, because there were parents there whose children were ahead of mine in the school system, and that was a godsend.”

Carolyn O’Flaherty, deputy principal at the 540-pupil school, holds special information meetings. “Sometimes, parents would have queries about how much homework their children should be doing and how they should be doing it. We tend to be very conscious that it’s very different for first years coming from the primary school system. They could have between 10 to 12 different teachers here, and there may be anxiety around what different teachers expect of homework,” she says.

For the first few weeks of term, the teachers start the homework in class to familiarise students: “After a while, the first years work independently. We would, generally, feel they should have between one and one-and-a-half hours per night at first year. We emphasise the use of the journal, in organising homework, and stress to parents how important it is that they go through the journal and check on the homework — this facilitates communication between parent and student on homework.”

Second-years are expected to do between one-and-a-half to two hours, and Junior Certs two to three hours. In fifth and sixth year, three to four hours a night is the norm, she says. The quality of the homework is more important than the length of time it takes.

Students should not do homework in front of the TV or with a mobile phone nearby. “Homework develops good habits of the mind, takes the stress out of exams, is very good discipline and facilitates independent learning,” Ms O’Flaherty says.

In the evenings, second level students should go back over material they covered in class that day — even if they have been allocated no homework, says Bernie Judge, education officer with the Association of Secondary Teachers of Ireland.

Parents should not accept the excuse that their child doesn’t need to study because they have no tests coming up. “Consistent application is necessary. Don’t accept that they’re not getting any homework. If they have no writing to do, they should be going over notes,” she says.

Children should leave phones downstairs while they are studying upstairs. But the bedroom is not always the best place for study — it’s private and they may not be doing the work they claim to be doing.

Last September, a homework journal was introduced for the 340 pupils of headmistress Breda Fay’s school, Scoil Choca Naofa, in Kilcock. The school now also runs ‘homework information mornings’ for parents. A homework club has also been established. The journal shows parents what homework has been allocated and how long the child is taking to do it — thus facilitating a conversation with the teacher should homework need to be adjusted.

Fay says the majority of parents were happy with the time their children spent on homework — 10 minutes of paired reading or colouring at junior infant and senior infant level, 20 minutes in first class, half an hour in third and fourth class, and under 45 minutes in fifth and sixth class.

Homework is not a major issue in the Fitzgerald household, in Killahin, near Tralee, in Co Kerry, where mum Geraldine expects her daughters Linda (12) and Shauna (7) to do their best, but is relaxed: “I’m very lucky, because the girls go to a country school with only 30 pupils and they get great attention. The majority of their work is done at school,” she says, though Linda does an hour’s homework every night and Shauna does half an hour.

“They sit in the kitchen doing their homework, while I make the dinner. I’m very relaxed, I don’t push them, I tell them to do their best, but that, at the end of the day, there’s more to life than homework.

“I know of parents in other schools who spend two hours, or more, doing homework with primary level students — I think that’s way too much.”

If you’re worried that your child is not doing his or her homework or is not able for it, says Peter Mullan, of the INTO, contact the school. “Homework is one of the thorniest issues at primary level — it’s added stress and can be time-sapping. It can be resented by children and parents, so it’s very worthwhile for people to understand the value of it,” he says. Research shows that children who get maths homework three or four times a week score higher than children who don’t.

DON’T BE TOO FUSSY

Research has shown a positive relationship between homework and achievements, says Professor Kathy Hall, Professor of Education at UCC. “Time spent on homework yields results,” she says, cautioning homework should be relevant; ideally done independently and without parental support.

Hall believes the primary school years are a golden opportunity to help children develop good study habits. Regular homework is an excellent way to develop self-discipline, time management and a sense of responsibility towards work and study, she says.

If, however, homework takes away from personal time or family well-being, it generates a lot of anxiety, she warns: “Homework should be at a level of easy difficulty, it should not be about being stuck.”

Check your child’s homework journal and attend parent-teacher meetings, she counsels — but parents should avoid a rigid or regimented approach to homework or over-emphasis on perfection.

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Parents’ and Adolescents' Different Perceptual Worlds

Resolving parent-adolescent conflict involves addressing different perceptions..

Posted May 20, 2024 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

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• Conflict between parents and adolescents commonly involves different perceptions of each other’s behavior.
• Different perceptions may involve parents’ focus on the future, while adolescents focus on the present.
• An “insider” perspective includes one's own intentions versus an "outsider" focus on the other’s actions.

Anyone who has experienced a conflict with another person—family member, friend, co-worker, etc.—likely has felt some frustration that the two of them don’t see eye to eye about what happened between them, and what constitutes appropriate and acceptable behavior. This can include one person requesting a change in the other person’s behavior, the other person making a good faith effort to meet the person’s request, but the person who made the request either saying they saw no change or that the new behavior was not satisfactory.

Although conflict is not inevitable between parents and adolescents, a common frustrating challenge occurs when the two individuals perceive their own and each other’s behavior differently. For example, a parent may request that their adolescent be more helpful with chores around the house, including cleaning the adolescent’s bedroom, and after the adolescent makes some effort to comply, the parent may complain that the progress was inadequate, whereas the adolescent may argue that the parent was overlooking obvious positive actions.

In turn, the adolescent may request that the parent speak to them in a more respectful way, acknowledging positive things the adolescent does and not only focus on problems. If the parent takes the request seriously and goes out of their way to compliment the adolescent on a good grade earned in school, the adolescent may minimize the significance of the parent’s effort, complaining that the parent has little good to say about them. Researchers who study family interaction have found that such differences in parent and adolescent perceptions of each other’s behavior are quite common and distressing (e.g., Van Heel et al., 2019), resulting in Stattin et al. (2021) concluding that parents and adolescents tend to live in “different perceptual worlds.”

A variety of factors can contribute to such perceptual differences. First, although adolescents’ normal cognitive development has allowed them to take the perspective of another person, in contrast to younger children whose capacity for empathy is limited, they tend to be more present-oriented than their parents. Thus, a parent may try to motivate an adolescent to spend more time on homework and less time online with friends, arguing that good work habits will lead to better educational and career opportunities. However, the adolescent may focus more on maintaining good peer relationships, rather than imagining ambiguous future life conditions.

Second, adolescents may develop values and interests from their youth culture that are different from those of their parents and may perceive that their parents' guidance is irrelevant to their daily life experiences. This may be especially the case for immigrant families in which parents are navigating the challenges of raising their children in a culture that is different from their culture of origin and dealing with various stressors such as discrimination , while the adolescents are trying to fit in with peers in their new home (Choque et al., 2024).

Third, many parents and their adolescents have limited communication and conflict resolution skills, resulting in mutually frustrating interactions when issues involving peer relations, chores, school work, and taste in music and clothing arise. Parents and adolescents often fail to listen empathically to each other’s thoughts and emotions, instead settling into polarized positions that convey little respect and caring. All of these factors that contribute to parents and adolescents living in different perceptual worlds are commonly addressed in family therapy and parenting programs that some distressed families are able to access.

However, there is no guarantee that parenting and family therapy programs will bridge the perception gap unless they directly acknowledge its existence and help all family members understand and empathize with their differences. Findings from a research study that colleagues and I recently completed (Choque et al., 2024) illustrate this challenge. The study examined the effects of immigrant Latine parents’ participation in a parenting education and skills program on their parenting behavior toward their adolescent children. The program, Padres Informados Jóvenes Preparados (Padres), was developed to be culturally relevant for immigrant Latine families through extensive collaboration with local stakeholders, including a parent advisory committee.

The Padres program included a) increasing parents' knowledge and skills regarding adolescent development and acculturation challenges facing immigrant youth and parents, (b) enhancing parents' empathy for their adolescents' experiences, and acceptance of their offspring (c) improving parent-adolescent communication and parental discipline methods, and (d) improving adolescents' own skills for avoiding problematic behavior such as substance abuse .

Our study focused on separate parent and adolescent ratings of parents’ levels of acceptance of the adolescent (e.g., speaking in a warm, friendly voice), consistent discipline methods, and soliciting information from the adolescent regarding their experiences and feelings. Ratings were collected just before parents participated in the program, after the four-month program, and at a six-month follow-up.

The key aspect of our findings for this post was that parents reported improvement in their levels of acceptance, consistent discipline, and solicitation during the treatment, whereas adolescents only reported improvement in their parents’ solicitation behavior. The changes that occurred during the program were maintained at the follow-up point. Thus, whether the program was effective could not be assessed only by measuring outcomes from the parents' perspective.

The parents’ greater perception of positive change may be due to their “insider’s” perspective (their awareness of their intention to become more attuned to their children’s needs), in contrast to the adolescents’ “outsider’s” perspective of only observing the parents’ actions. Similarly, parents were not privy to the degree to which their actions such as soliciting information about their child’s experiences were felt as caring versus interrogation by the adolescent.

Furthermore, parents may have given themselves more credit for any changes they made, whereas adolescents may have remained skeptical as to whether their parents’ actions were real rather than “putting on a show for the program leaders” and would last after the program ended. In turn, parents may be skeptical of adolescents’ efforts to demonstrate that they can be trusted with reduced restrictions on their freedom. It often takes time for trust in changes to develop.

It is crucial for family therapists and parenting program leaders to guide parents and adolescents in avoiding a natural tendency to be defensive regarding such discrepancies in perceptions of each other’s behavior, motives, etc. Family members may respond to a therapist’s encouragement to be empathic with each other’s efforts by thinking, or explicitly responding to the therapist, “That’s easy for you to say, but you haven’t had to live with broken promises.” The more that therapists can display empathy for individuals’ past disappointments and pain combined with encouragement to give other family members opportunities to develop new patterns, the better. Building new family patterns requires some risk-taking and patience.

To find a therapist, please visit the Psychology Today Therapy Directory .

Choque, G. A. H., Kim, H. D., Epstein, N. B., Garcia-Huidobro, D., Svetaz, M. V., & Allen, M. L. (2024). Different perceptual worlds: Parent and youth perspectives on parenting outcome trajectories from a Latino family-based program. Family Process , 00 , 1–22. https://doi.org/10.1111/famp.12962

Stattin, H., Russo, S., & Kim, Y. (2021). Projection bias and youth's and parents' perceptions of their joint political discussions. Journal of Family Communication , 21 , 127–137.

Van Heel, M., Bijttebier, P., Colpin, H., Goossens, L., Van Den Noortgate, W., Verschueren, K., & Van Leeuwen, K. (2019). Adolescent-parent discrepancies in perceptions of parenting: Associations with adolescent externalizing problem behavior. Journal of Child and Family Studies , 28 , 3170 –3182.

Norman B. Epstein, Ph.D., is Professor Emeritus in the Department of Family Science, School of Public Health, at the University of Maryland, College Park, and a licensed clinical psychologist.

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Are holidays in Ireland still ‘a rip-off’? Georgina Campbell and Conor Pope debate the issue

Nobody would describe ireland as a cheap holiday destination. but there is value if you look hard enough.

We all know how the “cheap” sun holiday can work out expensive when the extras are totted up – and, especially if travelling through Dublin Airport, the hassle factor is high. Think of the time, energy and money to be saved by staycationing instead. Photograph: iStock

Georgina Campbell: There is time, energy and money to be saved by staycationing – here are my five top tips

Maybe your holiday plans are still open, or you’re considering short breaks in the coming months, but the phrase “rip-off Ireland” keeps ringing in your ears. Well, over-charging does happen – events-driven rates-hiking in Dublin, for example, where occupancy levels are always high. But Ireland is not unique in this. And, while it is undeniably an expensive country, there is always value to be found.

Pricewise, it’s similar to last summer, but the industry challenges have shifted to operating costs, partly relating to unhelpful Government policies such as raising the VAT rate to 13.5 per cent. Most people in hospitality are just trying to stay in business – rip-off it is not, and they’re doing everything possible to encourage bookings.

A memorable and reasonably priced Irish holiday is very achievable and aiming high in terms of quality and the experience really can pay off

Perhaps we need to recalibrate how we think about value. We’re still in a cost-of-living crisis and money is tight, especially for families, but the cheapest options can be a false economy. We all know how the “cheap” sun holiday can work out expensive when the extras are totted up – and, especially if travelling through Dublin Airport, the hassle factor is high. Think of the time, energy and money to be saved by staycationing instead – and, as we learned in the pandemic, when many people had the joy of discovering the fun and quality on our doorsteps – it can be a life-changing experience too.

Sustainability – and enlightened self-interest – is another factor. Local businesses (food, drink, hospitality, services) need our support and if we don’t give it to them now, they may not be there when we go looking later. Restaurant closures are rampant, causing not only job losses and heartache, but also large costs to the economy.

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But all is not doom and gloom. A memorable and reasonably priced Irish holiday is very achievable and aiming high in terms of quality and the experience (including genuine hospitality) really can pay off. So, do the homework:

• Be open minded about areas to visit – going to lesser-known places can mean big savings and exploring them can be hugely enjoyable
• Seek out special offers – sign up for promotional mailers from destinations that interest you. Many hotels are offering seriously good deals (including great family holidays) and the best offers may only be available to subscribers. Full/half board options can be the best value.
• Find free things to do – free attractions and activities can save a huge amount on the cost of holidays, especially for families . Also consider budget buys, eg the OPW Heritage card (free access to over 45 heritage sites; family ticket €90 – 2 adults & 5 children).
• Avoid staying in cities – stay nearby for less and make forays to visit attractions and dining destinations.
• The little things – coffees, snacks etc – can soon add up. But maybe we should see it as an investment rather than a cost and plan days out around lunch breaks or snacks at owner-run places, where provenance and service count.

Irish people love a hotel break, but alternatives like guest houses, B&Bs, glamping and old-fashioned camping may suit better. The Irish B&B is an endangered species but it can be a wonderful thing, as we were reminded recently on a visit to Cappagh, Co Waterford, where comfort, charm and outstanding food go hand-in-hand with traditional hospitality.

Another of our most memorable recent experiences was in a five-star hotel in Co Tipperary. On a miserably wet March day we sat beside the fire in the vaulted bar and enjoyed coffees and magnificent warm cookies, along with the most genial of Irish hospitality, and it cost just €22 including service for four people. Happy out.

Georgina Campbell is founder of the independent Georgina Cambell’s Ireland guides and President of the Irish Food Writers’ Guild.

Conor Pope: Business costs have stabilised, but at much higher levels than three years ago. There’s still no way €3.80 for a small cup of bad coffee is fair

There are few people who would argue, at least in any way convincingly, that Ireland is a cheap place out of which to knock a bit of craic during the summer – or indeed any time of the year. Even those charged with selling us to the world fully accept we’re pretty pricey, all things considered.

Last January, as Tourism Ireland lifted the green curtain on its plans for the year ahead, its chief executive Alice Mansergh pointed to its own research highlighting how foreign visitors don’t see us as a “low-cost destination”. “We don’t market ourselves as cheap overseas,” she said. “We’re trying to target those consumers who have the funds to travel and who prize experiences over low cost, who want to come and enjoy the scenery, the heritage, the people.”

Those “people” she was talking about – the ones the tourists come to enjoy, the ones who actually live here – don’t see Ireland as a “low-cost destination” either, and while many of us also “prize experiences over low cost” we often lack the “funds” to enjoy those experiences close to home.

I could handily fill this page – and possibly this newspaper – with examples of overly high prices across the hospitality sector but it would be dull and repetitive so I’ll confine the examples to just the one.

Energy prices have stabilised but are still higher than they were, and although the cost of ingredients is not soaring as it once was, things are dearer than they were in 2021

Last Thursday morning I was asked to pay €7.60 for two small Americanos in one of the glass and polished chrome hotels that have popped up in Dublin in recent years. Now, when I say small, I mean absurdly small and I did well to get three gulps out of the decidedly lukewarm liquid. I might have complained or expressed shock but I didn’t raise so much as an eyebrow at being asked to pay such a stupidly high price for something so small and mediocre. That is because like everyone else who lives here, I’m wearily accustomed to paying €1.30 for a mouthful of coffee.

I know pricing is complex and these are hard times for many in the hospitality sector. Wage and tax bills are climbing, while rents are going through the roof. Energy prices have stabilised but are still higher than they were, and although the cost of ingredients is not soaring as it once was, things are dearer than they were in 2021. According to a report from PwC earlier this year, the hospitality and retail sectors are “feeling the pressure” and made up 40 per cent of all insolvencies in the first quarter.

But even with all that, there is no way I can buy the idea that charging €3.80 for a small cup of bad coffee is either justified or good value and it seems clear that those responsible do it because they know they can.

Those who rip us off are doing a disservice to others in the service sector – the ones who work hard in hard times to make ends meet and offer genuine value for money. And that value for money does exist. Less than 12 hours after drinking that coffee, I found myself having dinner in a hotel in Westport with my family. Starters and mains plus (non-alcoholic) drinks for five cost just over €100 and the quality of the food was excellent while the staff serving it were lovely. There could be no complaints there.

That should be the norm rather than the exception. Tourism matters here and it matters to all of us. Over a quarter of a million people work in the sector and over €5 billion is generated by foreign visitors alone. So it needs the support of the State and of the public.

The hospitality sector wants the VAT rate cut from 13.5 per cent to 9 per cent to allow more businesses to survive. That should happen and whatever other supports it needs it should get, but the support should come at a cost. Just as we support the sector, it should support hard-pressed locals. And it can do this by charging what it needs to thrive and no more than that. If that happened, we’d all win.

Conor Pope is Irish Times Consumer Affairs Correspondent and Pricewatch Editor

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