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This I Believe

The art of being a neighbor.

Eve Birch is a librarian in Martinsburg, W.Va., where she also runs a small remodeling business that provides day work for neighbors in need. Two stories Birch wrote about her life in a shack are featured in the anthology The Green Rolling Hills. Photo Courtesy Eve Birch hide caption

Eve Birch is a librarian in Martinsburg, W.Va., where she also runs a small remodeling business that provides day work for neighbors in need. Two stories Birch wrote about her life in a shack are featured in the anthology The Green Rolling Hills.

Questions Or Comments?

I used to believe in the American dream that meant a job, a mortgage, cable, credit, warranties, success. I wanted it and worked toward it like everyone else, all of us separately chasing the same thing.

One year, through a series of unhappy events, it all fell apart. I found myself homeless and alone. I had my truck and $56.

I scoured the countryside for someplace I could rent for the cheapest possible amount. I came upon a shack in an isolated hollow, four miles up a winding mountain road over the Potomac River in West Virginia.

It was abandoned, full of broken glass and rubbish. When I pried off the plywood over a window and climbed in, I found something I could put my hands to. I hadn't been alone for 25 years. I was scared, but I hoped the hard work would distract and heal me.

I found the owner and rented the place for $50 a month. I took a bedroll, a broom, rope, a gun and cooking gear, and cleared a corner to camp in while I worked.

The locals knew nothing about me. But slowly, they started teaching me the art of being a neighbor. They dropped off blankets, candles, tools and canned deer meat, and they began sticking around to chat. They'd ask if I wanted to meet cousin Albie or go fishing, maybe get drunk some night. They started to teach me a belief in a different American dream — not the one of individual achievement but one of neighborliness.

Men would stop by with wild berries, ice cream, truck parts and bullets to see if I was up for courting. I wasn't, but they were civil anyway. The women on that mountain worked harder than any I'd ever met. They taught me the value of a whetstone to sharpen my knives, how to store food in the creek and keep it cold and safe. I learned to keep enough for an extra plate for company.

What I had believed in, all those things I thought were the necessary accouterments for a civilized life, were nonexistent in this place. Up on the mountain, my most valuable possessions were my relationships with my neighbors.

After four years in that hollow, I moved back into town. I saw that a lot of people were having a really hard time, losing their jobs and homes. With the help of a real estate broker I chatted up at the grocery store, I managed to rent a big enough house to take in a handful of people.

It's four of us now, but over time I've had nine come in and move on to other places from here. We'd all be in shelters if we hadn't banded together.

The American dream I believe in now is a shared one. It's not so much about what I can get for myself; it's about how we can all get by together.

Independently produced for Weekend Edition Sunday by Jay Allison and Dan Gediman with John Gregory and Viki Merrick

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The Art and Science of Being a Good Neighbor

Should you be closer to your street-mates, or do good fences make good neighbors? Here's what the research says.

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One day when I was about 9, my mom received a frantic phone call from our next door neighbor, Mrs. King, who wasn’t home at the time. She had been trying to reach the babysitter who was watching her daughter, and no one was picking up. Could my mom go over to the house to check on them? We ran over and found them — fortunately unharmed — locked in a closet by a burglar!

We didn’t socialize with the Kings regularly, though occasionally I played with their daughter. (She had an amazing wardrobe for her Barbies.) But we knew we could count on each other for everyday help and emergencies. Our interactions with our other next-door neighbors were less dramatic — I babysat their two little boys. My parents’ friends, the Lawrences, who hosted an annual holiday open house, were a few doors down. The rest we knew by sight to smile at and wave.

According to those who study human relationships, there are primarily two types of social ties — “ weak” ones , like, say, your loose connection to a local barista, your kids’ teacher, etc. and strong ones, like your closest friends and family. Dr. Marissa King, professor of organizational behavior at Yale School of Management and author of Social Chemistry: Decoding the Patterns of Human Behavior , s ays neighbors represent a particularly interesting category spanning the two different types of ties. “For about a third of people the neighbor relationship is very strong and for about a third of people it’s absent altogether,” she says. And yet neighbor relationships represent an essential part of our social fabric and can have an enormous impact on how happy we are living somewhere, she adds.

And yet neighbor relationships represent an essential part of our social fabric and can have an enormous impact on how happy we are living somewhere, according to Dr. King. Positive relationships, she says, can increase mental health and feelings of wellbeing, while negative ones can decrease them.

Not surprisingly, after a year-plus at home in which many of us might have seen our neighbors more frequently than close pals, some people have indeed grown closer to them. “Generally, we tend to like people more the more we see them,” says Dr. King. “During the pandemic, we all turned more inward, relying on those closest to us socially and physically, and for some that included neighbors.” People come together with those in close proximity for a sense of community during periods of stress and to get through adversities, Dr. King continues. “COVID-19 is an adversity just like hurricanes, floods and other natural disasters.”

A more recent 2021 study —“ Your Neighborhood Before and After COVID ”— done by Buildworld in the United Kingdom, confirms Dr. King’s observations across the pond. Thirty-one percent of those surveyed said they had gotten to know their neighbors better since the pandemic began, with almost one in five saying that it made them feel better about those living near them. And more than one in three house dwellers (and 26 percent of those living in apartments) reported growing closer with their neighbors during this time.

Meet the Neighbors

Elise Biederman, who lives on a suburban New York cul de sac with about 10 other families, is one person who grew closer to her neighbors during the pandemic. And while they were friendly before, COVID-19 brought their relationships to a whole new level. “We bonded and are now connected more than ever,” she explains. “We went through uncharted territories together.” Everyone was outside a lot more with their kids and dogs and a neighborhood text chain sprang up to keep everyone connected, alerting members to grocery runs or inviting everyone outside for cocktails. Any minor annoyances over the years, Biederman says, have been far outweighed by the positives of living on such a close-knit street.

Lisa Ellis also lives in suburban New York and loves her neighbors. Her block — friendly before — also became even closer during the pandemic, via a text chain and socially distanced outdoor gatherings. One neighbor gave Ellis a key to their backyard fence saying, “Our pool is your pool.” Ellis says she feels blessed. “You don't get to choose your neighbors.”

Good Housekeeping ’s Parenting and Relationships Editor Marisa LaScala says that, in the first apartment building she moved into in Brooklyn, residents giving each other space was the norm, but a friendship found her anyway. She had never interacted much with the other residents until one of them emailed her and her now husband, who both freelanced writing movie reviews at the time. The neighbor, who enjoyed their reviews, recognized their names from their mailbox, emailed to say he thought they all should be friends. “It’s 14 years later and we still are,” LaScala says.

But not everyone has been so fortunate. One woman we spoke with in the Cleveland area lived in an apartment complex for many years, but that changed when new neighbors moved in upstairs. While she gave them a warm welcome, things quickly deteriorated when they routinely flouted leash laws, failed to pick up their dogs’ waste and cursed at her after she approached them about it. Another neighbor threw lit cigarettes off her balcony and onto hers. She eventually moved out, into a house. “We’ve had almost no dealings directly with any neighbors here,” she says, “which is fine by me.”

And when Sarah Ratliff moved into a new suburban California housing development, her next-door neighbor greeted her with several disparaging, racist remarks, not realizing Ratliff is Black. After a particularly tense interaction, Ratliff decided to keep her distance — but things didn’t get much better. The couple now lives more happily on an 18-acre farm in a remote community. “We decided that that was the last time we'd live next to people,” she explains. “We've never had problems with neighbors here since we have a ¼-mile distance between us. We know everybody and can call a neighbor a mile away for help.”

Jamie Beth Cohen has had great neighbors and awful ones. When she bought a townhouse in a community near Lancaster, Pennsylvania, she had a terrific next-door neighbor, especially important as their homes shared a front porch and lawn. But when the neighbor sold, a new neighbor who didn't care for the Cohens from the get-go moved in; she complained to Cohen that her husband had scowled at her. Things really hit the wall over a snow removal issue, when the neighbor screamed at her husband in front of other neighbors, calling him lazy. But when Cohen asked her, “Can we talk this through?” her response was, “I don’t need to talk to you.”

Fortunately, that neighbor eventually moved and was replaced by a couple with whom the Cohens are more compatible. “During the pandemic, we were able to sit outside socially distanced and chat on our front porch,” Cohen says. “They’re not our best friends but the fact that we have no bad blood between us is huge. And we help each other out.” The experience really drove home for her how much of an impact the negative situation had had on her own mental health. “I didn’t realize how traumatized I was until she moved,” she explains. “I would feel a tightness in my chest every time I pulled into my garage.”

And sometimes a situation that initially looks like it could be problematic turns out to be unexpectedly positive. “A neighbor who I initially found somewhat off-putting turned out to be amazing,” says Christina Adams of Laguna Beach, CA. A chain-smoker who often carried around a can of beer lived in an apartment building next to Adams’ new house. A professional chef, he began dropping off beautifully presented gourmet dishes for Adams and her husband. From there, the two bonded over food and cooking, sharing meals and talks and developing a special friendship. “We would never have crossed paths socially and I never would have had this wonderful opportunity to get to know him if he didn’t live next door,” she says.

Fostering Positive Neighbor Relationships

Developing a positive relationship with a neighbor is much easier than turning around a negative one, says Dr. King, so it pays to start off on the right foot. Understand that “small early investments, like smiling, waving or chatting, may make a big difference later on,” Dr. King says. But do try to gauge your neighborhood’s general “feel.” For some city neighbors, in particular, there may be an unwritten understanding that people living in such close proximity should respectfully leave each other alone.

But if your neighborhood feels like one in which interaction is welcome, consider “simple friendly actions — like walking over to introduce yourself and making eye contact. They can be quite powerful in making a good first impression,” adds Amber Trueblood, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist. Welcome new neighbors by dropping off something small like some cookies or a list of your favorite local service people. Include your contact info.

If you’re the new neighbor, consider putting notes in nearby mailboxes introducing yourself, your kids and pets; share your contact info.

Invite your neighbors over for coffee or drinks. Even if the plans don’t materialize, it sets things off on the right track. But understand that some people want more privacy than others and may wish to be left alone — so do respect their wishes.

Be the neighbor you’d like to have. A note to your immediate neighbors giving them a heads up about the date of a big party, noting when the music will stop, is a considerate way to address any concerns about noise or traffic. If it’s a more casual event, consider inviting them to stop by.

And remember that no one likes when a visitor pops in or shows up unannounced. A quick text or phone call (“Want to walk the dogs together?” or “Can I borrow some eggs?”) maintains everyone’s privacy.

Repairing Negative Neighbor Relationships

Negative relationships tend to spiral from one negative interaction, says Dr. King. It may start with a barking dog — and pick up speed from there. So how can you stop the downward spiral?

Consider writing a note or asking if you can talk. “Someone has to have the humility and willingness to be the person to reach out in a difficult situation,” says Dr. King. “You don’t have to like each other, but you do have to be civil to one another.”

Neighbors are often taken for granted, Dr. King adds. It doesn’t take that much effort to turn around a problematic one but it requires being present. “Asking how someone is doing, offering help or listening to someone for two or three minutes when you bump into them may be all it takes.”

If someone seems rude or inconsiderate, it's very unlikely the behavior is directed at you, observes Trueblood. “Remind yourself that you have no idea what is going on inside someone else's home,” she says. “Take a breath, find some compassion and reach out with genuine care to see if you can resolve any misunderstandings or miscommunications.”

Try to focus on the positive. “Often, with difficult neighbors, we focus on the one or two things they do — or don't do — that drive us crazy,” says Trueblood. “Try to focus on any way they are good neighbors.”

Do respect each other’s boundaries and set your own, suggests Dr. King. “The absence of boundaries can be quite draining, as with a neighbor who asks for help all the time just because you are right there.”

If the situation is very negative and it takes up a disproportionate amount of your time and emotional energy — and you’ve tried to repair it — sometimes it’s best to let it go and focus on more positive ones, says Dr. King.

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My Neighborhood Essay

500 words my neighborhood essay.

As humans , all of us live in a society are bound to a neighbourhood. It is an essential place which has a great impact on our lives. So much so that it does determine where we are in life and how we are doing. It is a fact that if we are not happy in our neighbourhood, we will not live peacefully. Through my neighborhood essay, I will explain about my neighbourhood and the reasons why I love it.

All About My Neighbourhood

I live in a great neighbourhood. It is wonderful because it offers us a lot of facilities. The green park near my house makes the area much more beautiful. Similarly, the swings in the park ensure the kids get to play cheerfully all day long.

Moreover, my neighbourhood also has many other bonuses. A grocery store adjacent to the park makes sure people get all their needs fulfilled without having to go far. All my neighbours buy their things from that grocery store only.

The owner also lives in the same area so he is very cordial with everyone. The grocery store saves everyone a long trip to the market and also their time. The park in my neighbourhood remains clean at all times.

The maintenance team makes sure they clean and sanitize it from time to time. It allows my neighbours to sit and relax in the evenings and take walks in the morning. The clean and fresh air gives everyone a great experience.

Why I Love My Neighbourhood

Apart from the top-notch facilities available in my neighbourhood, we also have amazing neighbours who make our lives better. A good neighbourhood is not made of facilities only but good people as well.

I got lucky in this case because my neighbours are very sweet. They help in maintaining the peace of the area so everyone lives in harmony. I have seen very often that if there is an emergency at anyone’s place, everyone rushes to help.

Similarly, we also organize events from time to time so that the whole neighbourhood gathers and enjoy themselves. I have a lot of friends in my neighbourhood with whom I play.

Most of them are my age so we meet every evening to cycle together and play on swings. We also go to each other’s birthday parties and sing and dance. The most favourite thing about my neighbourhood is definitely the residents.

I always notice how we never let any poor person go back empty-handed. My neighbourhood also organizes a donation drive every year. In this, each family donates clothes, toys and other useful commodities for the needy.

Thus, we all live together as a large family. Even though we live in different houses, our hearts are bounded by the same love and respect for each other.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Conclusion of My Neighbourhood Essay

All in all, a great neighbourhood is important to have a good life. In fact, our neighbours prove to be more helpful than our relatives sometimes. It is because they live nearby so they are most likely to offer help in emergency situations. Similarly, my neighbourhood is very clean and helpful, thereby making my life happy and content.

FAQ on My Neighborhood Essay

Question 1: What is the importance of a good neighbourhood?

Answer 1: A good neighbourhood is important because it helps in providing a safe and secure atmosphere . When people live in good neighbourhoods, they lead happy lives and spread joy around.

Question 2: Why must we keep our neighbourhood clean?

Answer 2: It is important to keep our neighbourhood clean because it will create a hygienic and serene environment. This way, everyone will be able to enjoy outdoors and it will also prevent any diseases.

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What Do We Owe Our Neighbors?

(Please note: This post contains my personal reflections on my own experiences within my current neighborhood, and as such I believe it is important to acknowledge my positionality. I am writing this post as a white, middle-class cis woman who lives in a primarily residential working-class neighborhood in St. Paul, MN. I cannot and do not claim that my observations here apply to everyone. Different locations, types of housing, social and economic circumstances, etc. surely give rise to different types of neighbor-to-neighbor relationships. This blog post is the result of personal reflection and should not be taken as making universal claims.)

I took a lot of walks around my neighborhood during the 2020 COVID-19 shutdown. I had a standard route: I would walk four blocks east, one block south, four blocks west, and one block north before returning to my house. These walks were an important mental break from the pandemic, taking me past newly planted gardens, yards adorned with cheerful flowers, and several local businesses. Most days, weather allowing, I would walk this loop at least half a dozen times.

I got to know my neighbors more during those few months than I had over the previous five years. Before I started going on these walks, although I occasionally had a short, friendly conversation with my next-door neighbors, I basically didn’t interact with the other members of my neighborhood at all. In contrast, after the shutdown, I knew the names of and at least something about most of my neighbors (and their dogs, of course). By the time Halloween came around and my block put on a distanced, outdoor trick-or-treat experience, I could comfortably converse with my neighbors about their lives, and not just the weather.

This change in my familiarity with my close neighbors got me thinking: am I a better neighbor now? Was I a bad neighbor before? What makes someone a bad or a good neighbor? What, if anything, do we owe our neighbors that we don’t owe others?

Philosophers have long accepted a distinction between general (or natural) obligations and “special” obligations to particular others, such as friends and family members. All else being equal, for instance, I seem to have reasons to care for a sick relative that I don’t have to care for an ill stranger. This idea can be extended to the groups that we’re a part of, such as a university, a state, or a country. Obligations of this sort seem to go beyond the moral duties we have to all humans (or agents, or sentient beings, etc.), such as the duty to refrain from unnecessary harm. But how do neighbors, or neighborhoods, fit into this picture?

It’s a common intuition, I think, that we do have special obligations to our neighbors. After all, it seems like we should (all else being equal) lend our neighbor a cup of sugar, whereas it’s less clear that we need to give a complete stranger sugar if they request it. (Plus, as a friend of mine pointed out, a stranger asking for sugar is pretty creepy—if they’re at my house, why have they knocked on a stranger’s door for sugar? If we’re somewhere else, why would they think I might have sugar? And moreover, what are they going to use that sugar for ?) When I think about what I owe my neighbors, I think of things like giving them a lift, lending them a tool, or snow-blowing their sidewalk if they’re sick. These seem like “neighborly” things to do, after all, that I probably wouldn’t do for someone who lives farther away.

But the more I’ve thought about it, the more I wonder if my reasons for helping my neighbors have anything to do with special obligations at all. In many cases, it seems like our general obligations, combined with the non-moral features of the situations, may explain the relevant moral reasons. For instance, proximity and familiarity can explain a lot. I think I have a moral reason to snow-blow my neighbor’s sidewalk when they’re sick because I know that they are sick, and because their sidewalk is right next to mine. If I didn’t have this information, or if the burden of helping was much higher (for instance if I had to transport my snow blower several miles in my rather small vehicle to do this), I likely wouldn’t feel the same pull. Similarly, I think that I have an obligation to call the fire department if I see flames or smoke coming out of the windows, but this doesn’t seem to be because they are my neighbor—it’s because I’m witnessing the fire; I’m just more likely to witness it because we’re neighbors. After all, if I witnessed the same thing while in a different neighborhood I would also feel the pull to call the fire department.

Maybe, though, there is something about being neighbors that gives us special obligations, or at least increases the strength of our general moral reasons. What, then, would ground these obligations?

As I mentioned above, it’s widely (although not universally) accepted that we have special obligations to our friends and family members. Perhaps, if we have special obligations to neighbors, it’s because our relationships with them resemble those that we have to friends. Granted, it seems like a stretch to say that these relationships are relevantly similar to close  friendships, at least in most cases. According to a variety of theories on (close) friendship , being in a friendship requires that we care about our friend for their own sake. This seems to involve acting for the good of our friends, being moved by things that happen to them, and accepting them (at least to a large extent) as they are. Mutual concern between the friends regarding the state of each other’s projects, well-being, and commitments is required. Friendship is often therefore associated with philia , a type of love that is reciprocal and responsive to the particular qualities of the loved one. This type of mutual caring, however, frequently isn’t present in relationships between neighbors (at least in my experience). If there is love between neighbors, my intuition is that it’s closer to agape , or the love for all humankind. But this wouldn’t seem to ground any special obligations.

Still, perhaps relationships between neighbors are like casual or professional friendships. After all, some of the common practices between neighbors are similar to those between casual friends—acknowledging them if you see them on the street, making small talk, performing small favors, and so on. However, even in cases of casual friendships, the comparison seems too strong. Friendships are often chosen (even if who you happen to meet is not chosen), whereas neighbors may or may not be. Even if I am able to take my neighbors’ characters into account when deciding where to live, new neighbors might move in.

Given that we often do not choose our neighbors, perhaps we ought to look to accounts of associative duties as potentially grounding special obligations to them. According to these theories, the social relationships we find ourselves in give rise to special duties. These accounts differ regarding whether a person X’s associative duties to person Y are grounded in X’s identity (and their ground projects—see Williams 1981 ), Y’s intrinsic value ( Keller 2013 ), or the intrinsic value of the relationship between X and Y. However, the general claim seems to be that the relationship itself is the source of the special obligations, and so it seems to follow that we can have obligations to others that we find ourselves in particular relationships with, regardless of whether these relationships were entered into voluntarily. Indeed, this is particularly clear in discussions of political obligation in social and political philosophy. According to some associative accounts of political obligation, our (often unchosen) social roles, relationships, and/or local practices ground obligations to act as good citizens and obey the law (see Simmons 2008 for a brief discussion of associative accounts of political obligations and some of their problems).

While an appeal to associative duties may be a promising way to explain special obligations to neighbors, these views face a variety of criticisms. To begin, if a person’s associative duties are grounded in their identity, then it seems to be the case that a person will not have associative duties regarding those relationships with which they do not identify. Thus, if being a neighbor is not part of my practical identity, I presumably don’t have associative obligations to my neighbors. Moreover, we may find ourselves in bad or immoral relationships with others—do these ground associative obligations? What if the relationship is manipulative or abusive? Is the mere existence of a relationship enough, or does that relationship itself need to be morally good (or at least morally permissible) to ground obligations?

Still, perhaps there is something to be said for the idea that relationships, or communities , produce special obligations. Humans are, after all, social creatures. We need interactions with others to thrive. Neighborhoods can, and in many cases have been, sources of community. Indeed, it was much more common in the past for people to befriend their neighbors, host barbecues, have block parties, and so forth. And with the current mental health crisis in the U.S., in part due to increased feelings of isolation, these types of connections might be exactly what we need. So perhaps the social goods produced by community can ground special obligations between neighbors.

While I find this idea appealing, I’m not sure that it grounds shared obligations between neighbors who aren’t already part of an established neighborhood community. That is, if no one in my neighborhood makes a point of getting to know one another, there are no shared events, etc., do I personally have obligations to develop relationships with my neighbors? What if they want to be left alone? Would my attempts, particularly if they are not reciprocated, really be contributing to a social good?

Perhaps this is where I should turn back to the question of what makes someone a good neighbor. Even if we don’t have specific moral obligations to our neighbors, it does seem like we can be better or worse neighbors, where what this means is at least somewhat dependent on the neighborhood (or apartment building, dormitory, etc.) in question. I wonder, though, if in most if not all contexts, being a good neighbor includes fostering community. In my neighborhood, for instance, we have one great neighbor. She makes a point of knowing everyone on the block, asking about their lives (in a way that seems genuinely curious but not nosy), shares the vegetables from her garden, and occasionally organizes events for the block. Although this has never been tested, I’m confident that she would do all of those neighborly things I mentioned above, like lending out her tools or calling the fire department. She makes relationships with her neighbors, both one-on-one and as a community, a priority. If she’s not a good neighbor, I’m not sure who is.

So do we have special obligations to our neighbors? Maybe. Perhaps, if nothing else, the importance of cultivating social relationships provides us with a moral reason to develop local communities, and getting to know our neighbors may be one way to do this. But maybe, even if we don’t have these obligations, we should strive to be good neighbors. Even if we aren’t morally required to lend our neighbors a cup of sugar, we might have important moral reasons to learn our neighbors’ names, facilitate local events, or support community spaces. We all need community—why not start with our neighbors?

• associative duties
• Laura Engel
• Matt Clemons
• special obligations

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Essay on Good Neighbour

Students are often asked to write an essay on Good Neighbour in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Good Neighbour

Introduction.

A good neighbour is a great blessing. They can make our life comfortable, secure and pleasant. Living beside such good neighbours makes life enjoyable.

Qualities of a Good Neighbour

A good neighbour is friendly and considerate. They respect your privacy but are always there to lend a helping hand. They keep their surroundings clean and do not cause any inconvenience.

Importance of Good Neighbours

Good neighbours make a neighbourhood a better place to live. They help build a sense of community, provide support during tough times and bring joy to everyday life.

In conclusion, good neighbours are important for a harmonious living environment. They can make our lives happier and more fulfilling.

250 Words Essay on Good Neighbour

A good neighbour is a priceless treasure, offering a sense of community, security, and mutual understanding. The importance of good neighbours cannot be overstated, especially in an increasingly disconnected world.

Characteristics of a Good Neighbour

A good neighbour is respectful, considerate, and helpful. They respect boundaries, both physical and emotional, and understand the importance of privacy. They are considerate, ensuring their actions do not disrupt the peace and tranquility of the neighbourhood. However, their most defining trait is their willingness to help in times of need, be it a minor inconvenience or a major crisis.

The Role of Good Neighbours in Community Building

Good neighbours play a crucial role in community building. They foster a sense of belonging and camaraderie, creating an environment of mutual support and cooperation. They contribute to the overall well-being of the community, promoting harmony and unity.

In conclusion, good neighbours are an integral part of our lives. They add value to our existence, offering support and companionship. They help create a community that is vibrant, inclusive, and harmonious. In the grand scheme of things, good neighbours help us realize that we are not alone, that we are part of a larger whole, and that together, we can overcome any challenge that comes our way.

500 Words Essay on Good Neighbour

The concept of a good neighbour.

The concept of a good neighbour is not merely a person who lives next door. It extends far beyond physical proximity and encompasses a wide range of social, emotional, and moral aspects. A good neighbour is a vital component of a thriving community, contributing to the overall quality of life and societal harmony.

A good neighbour is defined by several key qualities. Foremost among these is respect for boundaries. This implies not only physical boundaries but also emotional and psychological ones. A good neighbour understands the importance of privacy and avoids intruding uninvited into others’ lives.

Equally important is a sense of community. Good neighbours actively participate in community activities, fostering a sense of belonging and unity. They are not isolated entities but integral parts of the community fabric, contributing to its vibrancy and vitality.

A good neighbour is also reliable and supportive. They offer help when needed, providing emotional support in times of crisis and practical assistance in daily life. This reliability creates a safety net within the community, fostering mutual trust and cooperation.

The Role of Good Neighbours in Society

Good neighbours play a significant role in shaping society. They contribute to the social capital of a community, which is the collective value of all social networks and the inclinations that arise from these networks to do things for each other.

Neighbourhoods with high social capital tend to have lower crime rates, better child development, and higher educational achievement. Good neighbours, through their actions and interactions, contribute to this social capital, enhancing the overall quality of life in the community.

Good Neighbours and Personal Development

On a personal level, good neighbours can significantly influence one’s development. They can serve as role models, demonstrating values such as respect, empathy, and cooperation. Interactions with good neighbours can also help develop social skills and emotional intelligence, crucial for personal and professional success.

The Responsibility of Being a Good Neighbour

Being a good neighbour is a responsibility that comes with its rewards. It requires effort and commitment, a willingness to invest time and energy in building relationships and contributing to the community. However, the rewards are substantial, ranging from a safer, more supportive environment to a more fulfilling, meaningful life.

In conclusion, the concept of a good neighbour extends far beyond physical proximity. It encompasses qualities such as respect for boundaries, a sense of community, and reliability. Good neighbours contribute significantly to society, enhancing social capital and influencing personal development. Being a good neighbour is a responsibility that comes with substantial rewards, making it a worthwhile pursuit for all.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

• Essay on My Dream To Become A Doctor
• Essay on Importance of Prayer in Our Daily Life
• Essay on My Neighbour

Apart from these, you can look at all the essays by clicking here .

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Friendship - Blog

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A year after settling into our new home, we had the idea to have a little, informal block party and invite the neighbors around us whom we knew — about 15 or 20 people.

At the time, we had no grandiose visions of what God could do with that small step; we just thought it would be fun to get some neighbors together.

Small Steps Can Lead to Big Changes

That was over eight years ago and I’m amazed at the community that has grown in our little village of about 200 homes. We now have a Facebook group, a neighborhood watch, running groups and tons of fun annual events: an Easter egg hunt, a Fourth of July bike parade and a Christmas party where Santa makes an appearance (along with a Christmas lights competition).

A few years ago, we worked together with our neighbors and threw a Halloween extravaganza where kids picked up treasure maps and followed them around to 12 various stations for hot chocolate, s’mores, cider, a haunted garage, hayrides, movies and popcorn. We encouraged neighbors to stay outside that evening and organized people into station teams. Not only was the night really fun for both kids and adults but it was also a huge community builder!

The Impact of Community

What’s made planning these events so rewarding is seeing how it impacts peoples’ lives. I remember sitting at a ladies’ night out event when a newly divorced woman who just moved to the neighborhood shared that it was her first time being on her own. She turned to look each woman in the eyes as she thanked us for being an open, welcoming community for her.

Community is watching someone’s kid for the day if needed. It’s having someone get your mail while you’re gone or knowing you can ask for sugar when you’ve run out. It’s watching your kids run around with ten other kids behind your house and hearing them all laugh and yell from your kitchen window. It’s knowing that help is literally right next door when — not if — you need it.

9 Things You Can Do to Build Neighborhood Community

Evaluate what you can and cannot offer. I have four small children, so ongoing weekly commitments aren’t realistic, but I can plan a few parties for the year.  Remind yourself that God will use your unique wiring, temperament, family dynamics, interests, and even your limitations to bring glory to himself. There is no cookie-cutter way to neighbor. Here are a few principles and ideas to help us as we seek to be good neighbors.

1. Gather a Few Neighbors for a Meal.

An invitation to your home is a way to make a big step forward in relationships with your neighbors. Some friends of ours wanted a simple way to do this, so they set up a few folding tables and chairs and invited the few houses around them for ice cream.

2. Remember People and Their Names.

I keep a note on my phone for neighborhood stuff so that when I meet someone at the pool, I have a quick way to jot down names. Listen when people are talking, and remember them. It communicates that you see and value them.

3. Put Yourself Out There.

There’s a vulnerability in taking the first step, especially when you have no idea what you’re doing. But often, people are just waiting for someone else to take the initiative.

4. Be Generous.

When we were first starting, we didn’t have a budget. We used to buy all the food for the Easter Egg hunt as well as the eggs and candy. Other neighbors would pitch in and help cover costs and bring utensils, tablecloths and so on. We saw all of it as an investment in the neighborhood, and it really helped in the initial stages to build momentum.

5. Be Available, and Say Yes When You Can.

Try being outside more. Take walks, spend time in your front yard, and wave and say hi to people. If you live in an apartment, spend time in the common areas. All these things say, “I’m available, I’m here.” And when your neighbor asks for help (it takes time and trust to get here), say yes if you can.

6. Get Others Involved!

This is a big deal. People will feel more connected to the neighborhood if they’re personally invested and have served even in a small way.

7. Be Resourceful.

One night I Googled “Block Party City of Columbia grant.” Within 10 minutes, I had filled out a few simple questions and applied for $250 for a popcorn machine — all from my iPhone. A few weeks later, we were approved! Local businesses may be willing to donate things for free as an advertisement.

8. Have Ultimate Motives, Not Ulterior Motives.

Ultimate motives are the larger hopes, dreams and desires you have that shape who you are. My husband and I have talked about our ultimate desire to see an umbrella of God’s common grace extend over our neighborhood along with our desire for our neighbors to know Jesus Christ as their friend and Savior. We care about their gardens and jobs and kids and the bachelor’s programs they’re finishing and their aged parents. Small talk takes on new meaning when you value the ordinary parts of people’s lives without feeling like you’ve got to somehow make the conversation “get to church stuff.”

9. Practice the Art of Receiving.

In their book, The Art of Neighboring, authors Dave Runyon and Jay Pathak talk about what it means to receive from our neighbors: “If we don’t allow people to meet any of our needs, we limit what God wants to do in our neighborhood and in our life. Our tendency is to put ourselves in positions of power — in this case, always being the one to give. ... When giving is two-sided, everyone feels a sense of worth. [Receiving]takes humility.”

• If you don’t know your neighbors, take the time to stop and introduce yourself when you see them.
• Invite them over for dinner (even if it’s just pizza).
• Have a bonfire in your backyard and invite them to join you for s’mores.
• If you have young kids, you could host a children’s activity.
• See if there are any existing neighborhood groups in person or online, like an HOA or Facebook group where you can start meeting people and gauge interest in neighborhood events.  
• Be equipped to help people on their spiritual journeys as you have the opportunity.
• Read about how holidays like Thanksgiving  and Christmas  can be great opportunities for engaging your neighbors.   
• If you live in a city and want to build community with your neighbors, Cru City can be a great resource. 

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Previous story, how to grow friendships that last a lifetime, you can’t do it alone: change is easier when you have help, latest stories in friendship - blog.

Change isn’t easy. It’s even harder when you are trying to do it on your own. Inviting others into your life can provide the support and encouragement you need to change your life for the better.

Life is full of unexpected challenges. You were not meant to face them alone. Learn how to build healthy friendships that can offer support when you need it the most.

Are All Your Friends Just Like You?

What American Christians miss by not building friendships with people who are different from them.

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Essay on My Neighbour 500+ Words

In the tapestry of life, “my neighbor” is a thread of connection, support, and community. In this essay, we will explore the significance of “my neighbor,” highlighting their role in fostering a sense of belonging, cooperation, and the creation of strong communities.

Neighbors as a Support System

“My neighbor” is not just someone who lives nearby; they are a source of support. Whether it’s borrowing a cup of sugar or helping with a home repair, neighbors are there when we need them most. According to a study by Harvard University, strong neighborly relationships contribute to improved mental and emotional well-being.

A Sense of Belonging

Neighbors create a sense of belonging in our neighborhoods. Knowing that there are familiar faces next door or across the street helps us feel rooted in our community. This sense of belonging is essential for building strong, connected neighborhoods.

Sharing Moments of Joy

From celebrations to simple gatherings, “my neighbor” often shares moments of joy with us. Whether it’s a block party, a birthday, or a holiday, these shared experiences strengthen our bonds and create lasting memories.

Cooperation in Times of Need

In times of crisis, neighbors come together to support one another. Whether it’s during natural disasters or challenging personal circumstances, neighbors lend a helping hand, demonstrating the power of cooperation and unity within a community.

A Safer Community

Neighbors play a role in keeping our communities safe. When neighbors look out for each other and communicate effectively, it becomes easier to address security concerns and maintain a safe environment for all residents. A study by the National Neighborhood Watch Program highlights the positive impact of neighborly cooperation on crime prevention.

Building Relationships Across Generations

Neighbors often span different generations, providing opportunities for intergenerational connections. These relationships are valuable for sharing wisdom, fostering understanding, and bridging generational gaps.

Shared Resources and Support Networks

Neighbors can form resource-sharing networks, making it easier to access tools, knowledge, and assistance. These networks enhance self-sufficiency and promote a sense of interdependence within the community.

A Diverse Community

Neighbors bring diversity to our lives. Interacting with neighbors from different backgrounds, cultures, and experiences broadens our perspectives and enriches our understanding of the world.

Community Events and Initiatives

Neighbors often organize and participate in community events and initiatives that strengthen the bonds within the neighborhood. These activities, such as neighborhood clean-up days or community gardens, foster a spirit of togetherness and pride in the community.

The Ripple Effect

The positive influence of “my neighbor” extends beyond the immediate neighborhood. Strong communities built on neighborly connections contribute to the overall well-being of society. A supportive, connected neighborhood can serve as a model for others, creating a ripple effect of unity and cooperation.

Conclusion of Essay on My Neighbour

In conclusion, “my neighbor” is more than just someone who lives next door. They are integral to the fabric of our communities, contributing to a sense of belonging, cooperation, and unity. Neighbors provide support, create shared experiences, and help build strong, connected neighborhoods. As we reflect on the value of “my neighbor,” we recognize that they play a vital role in shaping the communities we live in and the world we share. The bonds formed with our neighbors are a testament to the enduring power of human connection, and we must cherish and nurture these relationships for the betterment of our neighborhoods and society as a whole.

Also Check: Simple Guide on How To Write An Essay

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My Neighbour Essay

A Neighbour is the family or people living near our house. They may live immediately beside us or maybe a little away. They play an essential role in our lives. Having a good neighbour is always beneficial as it keeps the living surroundings very positive. Here are a few sample essays on the topic ‘My Neighbour’.

100 Words Essay On My Neighbour

200 words essay on my neighbour, 500 words essay on my neighbour, my experience, our bonding.

My neighbour consists of a family of 10 people. It is a joint family. The family consists of grandparents, two couples and four children. They are very well off, and both the brothers run the same family business. Three out of four children study in my school, whereas one is a toddler. The family is very helpful and is always cheerful. Their grandparents go for morning and evening walks with my grandparents. I play with their children every day in the evening. Many times we come back home together. Sometimes my mother picks us back from school, and sometimes their mother does the same. They always participate in our family functions as we do in theirs. They are really helpful neighbors and a blessing in our lives.

It is always good to have a good neighbour because they are the first people who you go to whenever you are too happy or sometimes in need of something. Our next-door neighbours are the Tanejas, whose family consists of grandparents, parents and two children. The grandparents are retired medical professionals, whereas the parents, i.e. the son and the daughter-in-law, are successful entrepreneurs. They are very kind and generous. They never show off their wealth. Whenever they are available, they call us for tea and coffee get-togethers, and whenever we get a chance, we invite them for snack parties and get-togethers.

I remember how difficult the times were when the pandemic hit the world in 2020. Their family helped us a lot with our medical needs. I was also suffering from symptoms of COVID, so they consoled my parents and helped them in the best possible way they could and prescribed me medications. Instead of creating chaos they helped me during quarantine, supplied me with necessary medicines and arranged an oxygen cylinder beforehand so that it could be used wherever it was required, as I had breathing problems for three days. I am thankful to God for blessing us with such wonderful neighbours.

A good neighbour is a found treasure. Neighbours are the ones who share our joys and sorrows, making our lives easier. When we have a good relationship with our neighbours, they are the first to stand by us in need. A good neighbour will always be ready to help you anytime and in any situation. It is always a boon to have a good neighbour.

Sharma stays to the left of our house. They are kind and sweet people. It took a little time to get connected to them at first, but with time we got attached to them. They are a small happy family of six members. Every single member of the family is very sweet. It's been almost seven years since we moved here. Since then, we have celebrated all the festivals together and enjoyed every occasion. The grandma next door always sends me homemade ladoos, and the kids, Sonu and Dolly are absolute sweethearts, and they love playing with our pets every time they come home. Sharma uncle is really a very good person. He is a professor at the University, and aunty is an excellent cook. She is a homemaker.

My mom and sharma aunty love to share their cooking recipes and delicious dishes. I really like her palak paneer and naan, and she never forgets to send it to me whenever she cooks it. They really help us every time we need them. Once my grandpa broke his spectacle, he was home alone; I was too small at the time to help him. He called Sharma uncle for help, and he immediately helped my grandfather to get it fixed. Their grandma next door is a very sweet and cheerful lady. I have hardly ever seen such an amazing personality at the age of 85. She, too, is a retired University professor. I always have a great time talking to her. She shares her personal life experiences from her college days. Also, she shares about the real-life struggles a person faces when they pass out of school and then college. She helps a lot in my mathematics lessons. She teaches many things to my mother, too, as if she is her own daughter. She taught my mother to make pickles and jams and also taught her preservation techniques. She treats my grandmother like her daughter, and most of the time, they are found talking and going for walks together. Both of them are very fond of Bhajans, and they go to the nearby temple with their friends.

We have been celebrating almost all the festivals together. We both invite each other to birthdays, anniversaries and on various other occasions. The best part about our neighbours is they are not at all jealous or intrusive about our matters. It isn't easy to get good neighbours today as some are really curious about your household, whereas some are not even interested in helping you with your needs. Anyone can buy a good house, but a good neighbour is priceless.

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My Neighbor Essay & Paragraph

Humans are social creatures. That is why they live together. In this way, the people living side by side are neighbors of each other. The human character demands that man take care of his neighbor, love him, and help him. But just as not all people are good people, not all neighbors can be good neighbors.

Here is a bunch of essays and paragraphs on the neighbor and a good neighbor. They highlight what a neighbor’s responsibilities are to those around him and what qualities a good neighbor should have.

Table of Contents

My Neighbor Essay, 500 Words

By: Haque | For class 9-12/SSC-HSC

Introduction: Neighbors are very important for every human being. As a social being man cannot live alone. He cannot go on even for a single day without the help of others. So he lives with others in society. Those who live with him in the same area are his neighbors.

Who He is: I live in a populous area of Chittagong city. There are about five thousand people in the ward where I live. All of them are my neighbors. I have a good relationship with them. We respect and care for each other. Among all my neighbors one is very special to me. His name is Shahabuddin Ahmed. He is a school teacher . He teaches in B. M. High School which is situated in our ward. He is about forty years old. He is a married person and a father of two children — one son and one daughter. His wife is also a teacher of the same school. I have known him for about ten years.

Qualities of a Good Neighbor: All neighbors are not good. A good neighbor should possess some good qualities. He must be sympathetic, compassionate, frank, honest , polite, and well-behaved. He must have tolerance and fellow-feeling. He should also be honest, sincere, and trustworthy.

Why I Like Him: Mr. Shahabuddin Ahmed is a very polite and courteous person. We exchange greetings whenever we meet. He is very hospitable. On different religious occasions and festivals, my family goes to visit his house. His wife prepares different delicious dishes and entertains us. They also come to our house and we try our best to entertain them. In this way, a strong bond has been created between his family and mine. He is reliable and trustworthy. He is also generous and compassionate. In my need, I can rely on him. At those moments of emergency, he comes forward to help me with all his might. Once my father had to undergo a major operation. That needed a lot of money. At that point in the crisis, he lent us a big amount of money. I also paid him back in time and always try to help him in his need.

He possesses some other social qualities, too. He is frank and sincere. He holds nothing back to anybody. He never backbites or finds faults with others. He is simple and modest by nature. If anybody in the locality falls in any difficulty, he extends his helping hand to him. He also participates in social welfare activities. He always attends to his sick neighbors. So he is loved and respected by all.

Conclusion: My neighbor Shahabuddin Ahmed is a good man and a good neighbor. Over time, he has become my best friend . I share my joys and sorrows with him. If I have any problem I want to consult him. I think he is always sincere and eager to help. Our relationship is one of mutual love and respect.

A Good Neighbor Paragraph for Class 9-10

By: Haque ; Words: 170; 10-01-’23

Write a paragraph about your idea of a good neighbour. Think of a particular neighbour you have known. Describe some of his qualities and how he helps others in distress.

A good neighbor possesses some qualities. He stands by his neighbor at all times. A good neighbor must be amiable and considerate. He does not do anything that disturbs the peace of his neighbor. Mr. Abdur Rahman is my next-door neighbor. I have known him for a long time. He is a school teacher . He is very social. He mixes with all his neighbors equally. He is a social worker. If anybody faces any problem, he tries to help him. He never hurts the feelings of anybody. He receives everybody with a sweet smile. He is very cooperative and kind-hearted. In the social and religious festivals, he co-operates with all. He often helps the poor in distress. When he hears the sickness of a man, he rushes to his house and arranges for his treatment. In times of natural calamities, he rushes to the spot with students to render all possible help. So, every one of our locality respects him. A man like Mr. Rahman as the neighbor is a blessing of God.

My Neighbor Paragraph for Class 6-8

By: Haque ; Words: 130; 07-01-’23

Write a paragraph on your neighbour. Mention the qualities that your neighbour possesses of. Take down how he comes to help you in times of your danger.

My neighbor is a nice man to mix and talk with. He is cooperative, amiable, and generous. He mixes with me but still keeps some differences. He believes that ‘good fences make good neighbors.’ So, he has built a strong wall between us. We usually meet each other on a holiday. He comes to see me when I am ill. When we go somewhere far away for work or for a walk, he keeps an eye on our home . He is a teacher with a great personality and all the other neighbors respect him. He is the glory of our locality and I am proud of having a neighbor like him. In fact, every neighbor should do gently to glorify the social demand. As my neighbor does it, he is after my heart.

My Neighbor Essay | Qualities of a Good Neighbor

By: Haque | Words: 300

Write an essay on “My Neighbor” in around 300 words. Under different subheadings, introduce the neighbor, describe his qualities and explain the importance and role of a good neighbor for peaceful co-existence.

Introduction

My neighbor is an important part of my community. He is someone who I interact with on a daily basis and have come to know quite well over the years. In this essay, I will introduce my neighbor, describe his qualities, and explain the importance and role of a good neighbor for peaceful co-existence.

Introducing My Neighbor

My neighbor’s name is Mansur Ahmed. He is in his early 60s and has been living in the neighborhood for over 20 years. He is a retired teacher and spends most of his time gardening, reading, and spending time with his grandchildren. He is a kind and friendly person who is always willing to lend a helping hand.

Qualities of My Neighbor

One of the most admirable qualities of my neighbor is his kindness. He is always willing to help out in any way he can, whether it’s lending a tool, giving advice, or just being there to listen. He is also a great listener and always has time to chat with his neighbors. He is a very hardworking person, he always maintains his garden very well, and the neighborhood looks beautiful because of it.

Importance and Role of a Good Neighbor

A good neighbor is essential for peaceful co-existence in a community. They play a vital role in creating a sense of belonging and community spirit. They are the ones who are there to offer support and help during difficult times. They also help to keep the neighborhood safe and clean by looking out for one another and reporting any suspicious activity to the authorities.

My neighbor Mansur is a great example of a good neighbor. He is kind, friendly, and always willing to lend a helping hand. He is an important part of my community and plays a vital role in creating a sense of belonging and community spirit. A good neighbor is essential for peaceful co-existence in a community, and we should all strive to be the best neighbors we can be.

Check out: 300+ Essays & Paragraphs in English

About the Author

A teacher, writer and blogger, started allparagraph noting students search online for paragraphs on various topics, short and simple essays , edifying stories and other materials of study . In composing these lessons we have tried to use as simple language as possible, keeping young students in mind. If you find any text inappropriate, please let us know so we can make it more useful through necessary corrections and modifications. Thank you!

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How to Be a Good Neighbour

Last Updated: April 30, 2024 Approved

This article was co-authored by Saul Jaeger, MS . Saul Jaeger is a Police Officer and Captain of the Mountain View, California Police Department (MVPD). Saul has over 17 years of experience as a patrol officer, field training officer, traffic officer, detective, hostage negotiator, and as the traffic unit’s sergeant and Public Information Officer for the MVPD. At the MVPD, in addition to commanding the Field Operations Division, Saul has also led the Communications Center (dispatch) and the Crisis Negotiation Team. He earned an MS in Emergency Services Management from the California State University, Long Beach in 2008 and a BS in Administration of Justice from the University of Phoenix in 2006. He also earned a Corporate Innovation LEAD Certificate from the Stanford University Graduate School of Business in 2018. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 87% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 556,890 times.

Getting along well with your neighbors makes your community a happier and safer place to live. The key to being a good neighbor is clear and consistent communication. Introduce yourself to your neighbors and then stay in contact over time. Try to be courteous by keeping your noise levels low and your yard well-maintained. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even participate in a neighborhood association or watch.

Things You Should Know

• Always be respectful and considerate of your neighbors. Keep your yard clean, follow any noise regulations, and put your trash out at the right time.
• Make an effort to get to know your neighbors. Introduce yourself if you've never met before.
• Deal with any issues face to face in a calm, respectful way.

Being Respectful and Considerate

• For example, to maintain a lawn space, talk with your neighbor about rotating mowing duties each week.

• If you can’t do this maintenance on your own, consider hiring a professional lawn service.

• Most waste companies have very particular policies regarding what types of trash they will pick up and how it must be set out. For example, it may not be enough to simply place large branches by the curb of your house. You might need to cut and tie them into bundles.
• Following the local trash rules also helps to cut down on the presence of pests and vermin, such as mice.

• Let your neighbors know that they can come talk with you if your pets are ever bothering them. For example, you might say, “If you ever hear my dog barking too much in the evenings, just let me know.”
• If you are walking in your neighborhood, practice common courtesy by picking up your pet’s poop, too.

• If you live in an apartment complex, the leasing company will usually provide you with a list of community rules, which usually includes a statement about noise.
• Go ahead and lower your noise level if you even think that you are being loud.
• Use what you know about your neighbors to determine what is appropriate, too. For example, if you know that the person next door works nights, then take that into account and adjust your noise levels accordingly.

Getting to Know Your Neighbors

• For a more informal approach, say hi to your neighbors when they (or you) are outside walking their dog or working on their lawn.
• When you first meet your neighbor you might say, “Hi! I’m Fred Thompson. I live 2 doors down from you and just wanted to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood.”
• You can also give you neighbor any friendly local tips, such as what time the garbage or mail carrier stops by.
• A welcoming gift can be anything from a friendly card to a basket filled with local foods or produce.

• For example, if your neighbor is going out of town, they might ask you to watch over their home. Then, when you take a trip, you can ask them to return the favor.

• For example, a community association could work together to put on a local street festival or even small dinners.

Communicating Openly with Your Neighbors

• For example, to give yourself a few days to think everything over, you might say, “I understand where you are coming from, but I need to consider how to fix it on my end. Can we talk about this over the weekend again?”

• This doesn’t necessarily apply if you feel as if the safety of you, your family, or the neighborhood is at stake. In those situations, you might want to reach out to local officials for assistance.
• Avoid gossiping about any issues with your neighbor to other neighbors or people in the community. This only creates additional problems.

• The same goes for any other large, loud gatherings, such as ongoing construction.

Conversation Help

Expert Q&A

• After a special event, such as the birth of a baby, it never hurts to give your neighbors a small, thoughtful gift. [6] X Research source Thanks Helpful 0 Not Helpful 0
• Mind your own business about personal matters. Do not gossip. Thanks Helpful 8 Not Helpful 2

• No matter how much you try to establish a friendship with certain neighbors, it might not always happen. In these scenarios, try not to take it personally and instead focus on living next to one another peacefully. Thanks Helpful 11 Not Helpful 0

You Might Also Like

• ↑ https://www.houzz.com.au/ideabooks/33771067/list/everybody-needs-good-neighbours-10-ways-to-keep-the-peace
• ↑ https://www.housing.vic.gov.au/getting-along-neighbours
• ↑ https://www.fix.com/blog/guide-to-being-a-good-neighbor/

About This Article

To be a good neighbor, do your part to clean up any shared spaces, like the lawn of a duplex or the hallway of an apartment building. You should also try to follow noise regulations in your area and stay quiet during times when most people are sleeping. Additionally, if you've just moved in or gotten a new neighbor, introduce yourself and offer a small moving-in gift, like a card or a gift basket. Also, try to do favors for your neighbors whenever you can, and don't be afraid to talk to them in person as soon as possible if you encounter any problems. For more advice, like how to get to know your neighbors better, keep reading! Did this summary help you? Yes No

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The Writer Next Door: My Life As Joyce Carol Oates’ Neighbor

“i wanted to believe that oates knew we existed. while her cat clearly knew who we were, she never did.”.

Nearly every night, through our mudroom window, I could see that she was writing. In a room facing the road, with only a single light on, she worked religiously. There was something comforting about knowing she was there, that she was making yet another contribution to the world of literature while I was doing the laundry or bringing the recycling out to the garage. The routine was not all that remarkable for her, but from the outside looking in, it felt momentous. There, across the driveway, was Joyce Carol Oates, and she was writing.

If, as Oates has argued , “writing is a consequence of being ‘haunted’ by material,” then I am haunted by her presence as my former next-door neighbor. For more than 20 years I have thought about her. Now that she is still living and writing in Princeton and I am across the country in Seattle, she is not nearly as present in my imagination as she once was. But still she commands my attention, and something as benign as a New Yorker profile brings her rapidly back into my consciousness.

We didn’t know when we bought our house in 2003 that Oates was living next door; the local realtor shared the news after our closing. As a couple in our thirties with one child at the time, we found the outskirts of Princeton to be a good change from the intensity of Manhattan. A famous neighbor would in fact be nothing new for us.

However, my mother and her friends, who came of age in the 1950s and 60s, slightly younger than Oates herself, were in awe of our proximity. Whenever she visited, my mother would stand by the French door in our living room, hoping to catch a glimpse. We were told, though, that Oates did not get to know her neighbors and wanted to be left alone. And so, for the next seven years, we respected her privacy.

In 1978, The Paris Review asked, “What kind of work schedule do you follow?” Oates responded:

I haven’t any formal schedule, but I love to write in the morning, before breakfast. Sometimes the writing goes so smoothly that I don’t take a break for many hours—and consequently have breakfast at two or three in the afternoon on good days. On school days, days that I teach, I usually write for an hour or forty-five minutes in the morning, before my first class.

Also in 1978, Joyce and her husband, Raymond Smith, purchased the house where she was to live and write for the next 32 years. A low-slung, white mid-century modern structure in Hopewell Township, New Jersey, it had an inner courtyard from which you could see into nearly every room through its vast windows. In the back, a stone patio gave way to a pond, fed by the seasonal Honey Brook. Her writing room faced the road, its windows somewhat obscured by a fence and the overgrown holly.

In 1980, The New York Times Magazine offered a glimpse of the space, along with another version of the schedule:

Her study is spare: a large desk with just a few papers scattered about, a file cabinet, a bulletin board tacked with chapter headings, a small settee. “I usually work from about 8:30 A.M. to 1 P.M.; then in the afternoon I’ll make telephone calls, or teach, or go to New York. Then I’ll make dinner and then, from about 8 until 11:30, I’ll work again.”

While the study was not fully visible to those on the road, its side windows aligned perfectly with those of our own house, and our driveways ran mostly parallel up to the street. As Oates writes in The Faith of a Writer , “Like the rest of the house my study has a good deal of glass: my immediate study area, where my desk is located, is brightly lighted during the day by seven windows and a skylight.” She pointedly adds, “It’s bizarre to me that people think that I am ‘prolific’ and that I must use every spare minute of my time when in fact, as my intimates have always known, I spend most of my time looking out the window. (I recommend it.)”

Though I can attest to the distractions outside her window, I find it revealing that Oates bristles at being called prolific. Her literary output is legendary and shows no signs of stopping. Every publication from The Chicago Review of Books to Esquire has referred to her by this adjective; the latter even goes so far as to call her the “notoriously prolific chronicler of America’s cracked, calamitous heart.” Perhaps she has grown tired of the word itself, as it does little to characterize her impressive body of work. More likely she fears the label diminishes her, lumps her in with a more commercial writer like Stephen King , who, in raising the question of whether a novelist can be “too productive,” quotes Oates as having written that she had created “more, certainly, than the literary world allows for a ‘serious’ writer.”

When I lived next door to Oates, the times I knew she was writing were those evening hours when the light was on and her silhouette was visible. That such a private writer lived in what was essentially a glass house was a special sort of irony. I always wondered if she knew someone was watching, if there was a tiny performative aspect to the ritual, or if she was just so caught up in her work that she didn’t care that she had illuminated her sacred space.

Oates thinks that “when writers ask one another, ‘What is your writing schedule?’ they are really asking, ‘Are you as crazy as I am?’ We all seek some clues to the mystery of personality–our own, & others.”

The “mystery of personality” is an apt phrase in this case. Who was this woman who lived next door? There was the Emily Dickinson aura, enhanced by Oates’s tendency to wear white. Published photographs don’t feature her in white all that often, but in my memory, she is riding her bike through the neighborhood in a long white skirt or flowy pants, with a white bucket hat upon her head. She studiously avoided interacting with anyone on the road and would even make a hasty U-turn so as not to pass a runner or walker. Someone told me she was painfully shy (echoes of Dickinson again) and in those moments I could believe it.

By contrast, she also hosted large cocktail parties in her home. Cars would begin appearing along the road, park, and then people would make their way down the long driveway. More and more cars lined the road. And then, just as suddenly as they had arrived, her guests would all be gone. No party ever lasted more than a couple of hours.

When I read A Widow’s Story , the memoir Oates wrote in the wake of her first husband’s death, I was surprised to find a passage that reminded me so much of her cocktail party evenings, only this time, Joyce was taken aback by the cars on our street: “Returning home after dark and approaching our house I see that the road has become sort of a tunnel, lined with vehicles parked on both sides—is there a party in the neighborhood?—why does this seem so ominous, threatening?” Did she, I wonder, forget that her parties once created such a tunnel? Was it only the circumstance of Ray’s death that prevented her from remembering?

An interesting chapter in Oates’s writing life are the four children’s books, each featuring a cat. Someone had given Come Meet Muffin to our children, thinking we would appreciate this connection to our neighbor. As far as I know, we never met Muffin, but one of her cats frequented our back patio. An intense ginger cat with searing green eyes, it would sit outside looking in. This cat seemed to be regarding our life intently, taking notes perhaps, making me (not a cat person) uncomfortable, definitely.

I wanted to believe that Oates knew we existed. While her cat clearly knew who we were, she never did. But I never stopped hoping for some chance encounter.

Every once in a while, a single piece of Oates’s mail was misdelivered to our box. With Joyce and Ray Smith running The Ontario Review from their home, they were constantly sending and receiving manuscripts. Their mailbox was at least double the size of every other one on the street. It was a thrill just thinking about returning the errant letter to its rightful owners.

And then there was her refrigerator. When our friends purchased Oates’s house in 2010, they started a kitchen remodel and asked if we had any use for an extra refrigerator. Growing into our suburban lives, we found we did indeed have use for a second refrigerator that could easily fit in our garage. The standard black model sat neatly between the two car bays and quickly became indispensable.

Maybe because our friends had initiated the conversation about it and had helped to get it out of their new house and down our driveway, I didn’t think too much about its provenance. But at some point—a few months later? a year?—it hit me that Joyce Carol Oates’s refrigerator was in our garage.

An old real estate listing shows pictures of an empty house, including one of the kitchen. There is our refrigerator, standing in relief against the red formica countertops. What did Oates eat? What did they cook? What food was stored in this refrigerator? Was she like the women in her poetry , “Women whose lives are food / breaking eggs with care / scraping garbage from the plates / unpacking groceries hand over hand” or did she remain the woman from her journals who wrote: “But I can’t eat more than I do… it simply doesn’t attract me, I have no appetite…. And I must admit I’m beginning to regret the time I waste eating. When I could be playing piano. Or writing. Or reading” (March 9, 1978)

Rarely, if ever, did Oates drive herself. When she wasn’t being picked up by a black town car and whisked away somewhere glamorous (or to the airport), she sat next to her husband in their white Honda Accord. That Accord, which seemed to be replaced by an identical, newer model more than once in the years we lived next door, was the car her husband used to pilot her everywhere.

I never realized until reading A Widow’s Story that the couple had been in a serious car accident in their Honda, at an intersection I drove through nearly as often as they had. Like Oates, I would take Rosedale Road into Princeton, or turn at the corner of the Great Road and continue on to the schools where I taught and my children attended.

Thinking back now, that turn seems symbolic of a choice away from academia and towards a high school teaching career that allowed more time with my family, if less time in scholarly circles and at my own writing desk. A deliberate and informed decision, it nonetheless meant that I would never be invited to one of the cocktail parties next door.

The journals that Oates kept between 1978 and 1982 are full of parties, dinners, and lunches. “I’ve never been in so social an environment as Princeton, and wonder if I will survive,” she writes at one point. “I simply haven’t the energy, nor have I the skill as a hostess and cook. (Nor do I want that particular sort of skill. Life is too short to waste it on such things!)” (January 1, 1979). Oates also didn’t want children or “any sort of large, bustling family… After a period of time, in the presence of children or inordinately simple-minded people, I want to escape to my privacy, to my own thoughts” (June 10, 1982).

Intuitively, I must have sensed this about her. When we bought an outdoor playset, we assessed possible locations and decided against the lawn nearest to Oates’s house and carport. I imagined trying to shush the squeals of our children at play while she worked or Ray gardened. It seemed easier and, yes, more respectful to have the playset reside on the opposite side of our house. My brief glimpses of Oates outside were then reduced even more narrowly to the driveway where Ray parked the white Honda.

As she writes about her husband’s illness, death, and its aftermath, Oates points to a fundamental shift in their relationship as she becomes the driver: “And then how strange it seems, to be driving our car with my husband beside me. Rarely do I drive our car–we have just the single car, the Honda—with Ray beside me, not driving…” She drove him to the hospital but went home alone, then back and forth—still alone—for several more days before he died. That entire week, she rose and departed the house, and returned at night by herself, and we had no idea that he was in the hospital, that only she was at home, and that she was driving back and forth in the white Honda Accord all alone.

Would anything have been different if we had known? While unlikely, given the nature of our non-existent relationship, it felt in retrospect that we had missed the opportunity to be her neighbor. It is hard to explain what it felt like to read A Widow’s Story and realize that we had been next door all along and had no idea what was happening. Several days later, of course, we heard that Ray had died. And eventually, Oates put the house on the market and departed.

When Oates moved out, the loss of her writing light was profound. There had been something immensely comforting in knowing she was out there writing while the rest of the world went on around her. Night after night, she was at her desk working—or looking out the window—while I was doing the most ordinary things. For years after she had moved away, I caught myself looking for her silhouette at the desk.

A friend from graduate school reminded me that I had once kept a writing routine like Oates did. Up early in the morning to work on my dissertation, I maintained a strict schedule to ensure that a certain number of pages would be completed each day. Not lost on me is the fact that I was writing about another woman (Edith Wharton) who guarded her writing time religiously, and famously spent her mornings writing in bed. Like Oates and Wharton, I believed in routines, ordinary and productive to each of us in our own ways.

Oates stayed in our neighborhood when she remarried, choosing to live in a more secluded and wooded area, but still just a short walk away from the glass house next door. Was it the familiarity of the roads, the reminder of the routines? Did she want to drive by the old house and remember Ray, their life, what she had created in that study? Was it the security and privacy we allowed her, gave her? Had we earned her respect as neighbors?

And is writing about her now somehow a betrayal? Since there are no secrets to share, I know that in the truest sense anything I write is not betraying her. Everything I know about Joyce Carol Oates, I have learned from her writing or that of others writing about her. In the twenty years since moving next door, we never exchanged a single word. And yet.

A friend asked why the “quiet watching and waiting and respectful stewardship of my connection” mattered. I realize that I like to think that we had an unspoken connection. And that it has something to do with honoring a commitment and coming to understand the value in living somewhere where your home was a sanctuary, where you did not have to be neighborly or interact if you didn’t choose. I admired how Oates created that space for herself and wanted something similar. I also enjoyed the nearness of greatness without ever having to confront its limitations or rejections.

A particularly illuminating anecdote in Oates’s journals, where she writes of the “utterly trivial but vexing problem of… a local acquaintance who, while congenial enough, and certainly intelligent enough, nonetheless focuses upon me strictly in terms of what I can do for her—for her flourishing career as a novelist, primarily” (January 1, 1981), serves as a warning never to become the dreaded “local acquaintance” or, worse, neighbor.

Returning to my question of who was this woman who lived next door , one ultimately need look no further than her journal entry about time spent in her Honey Brook home: “Simply to be here, to be home, amidst our books, our things, our woods, our garden, our work; free of being and performing ‘JCO’; free of the ceremonial luncheons, receptions, dinners… I am infatuated with the private life and with anonymity ; perhaps even invisibility . Long may it endure….” [ellipses and underlining, author’s own] (May 29, 1981).

There was one time when Oates was still living next door. We were outside on the driveway and our son was very little. From the passenger seat in her car, Oates spotted him and smiled. It felt like a small gift, as if we had passed muster by leaving her alone. At least that is how I chose to read it.

Mia Manzulli

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Essay on Neighbours

A good neighbour is a great blessing. He is more than relative to us. Our relatives, living far off, may not be in a position to help us in our troubles and sorrows, but a good neighbour is ever ready to help us when we face misfortunes.

He lives next door. He can easily help us whenever we may need his help. I have one such ideal neighbour He is a kind-hearted and sympathetic fellow. Though older in age, he is the merriest and most suitable for company.

He is never found wanting whenever I need his advice or help. He is ever ready to sacrifice his rest or comfort for my sake. His mature experience is always there to guide me in this world and save me from pitfalls.

He is the most unselfish and self-sacrificing man I have ever come across. He has almost become a member of our family from whom I conceal nothing. I discuss all my plans and schemes with him and he gives me his mature advice.

His mature advice is very valuable for me not only in theory but also in practice He is highly considerate and extremely accommodating. He never says an unkind word. He is always full of sympathy, love and affection for me.

He participates in all my joys and sorrows. He is a great prop to me in this dark and dreary life. He is a pillar of strength to me in the midst of storms and tempests of my life. He has been of great help to me on many an occasion.

Once it so happened that all of a sudden at midnight I fell seriously ill. I began to vomit and my heart began to sink. He at once came running and sat by my bedside the whole night.

He arranged for medical aid at that odd hour. For full seven days and nights, he nursed me with his own hands. I can never forget his sympathy, kindness and service.

How can I repay such a kindly neighbour? May God bless him!

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7 Qualities of a Good Neighbor to Look Out For

We all have neighbors, but we would like to maintain a relationship only with the good ones. How can you identify the good neighbors? A good neighbor can make you feel welcomed in a new place and offer assistance during an emergency. A neighbor’s good qualities will help you build an ever-lasting relationship with them.

Here are seven key traits that make someone a good neighbor.

1. friendly.

A good neighbor will always try to be friendly, available, and approachable. This will help you approach them whenever you need any help.

One of the important qualities to look for in a good neighbor is whether they are quiet. Raising TV volume and making noise frequently can cause disruptions in a peaceful atmosphere. A good neighbor would understand this and try to be quiet.

3. Respectful

Good neighbors respect each other. This includes accepting each other’s profession, privacy, religion, and personal choices without any bias. More importantly, a good neighbor will respect your requirements and act accordingly.

A mature neighbor will try to understand the differences between you and them rather than exacerbating any issues or misunderstandings. A lot of problems can be easily solved if handled with maturity.

One of the good qualities of a neighbor is the willingness to give you a helping hand. A helpful neighbor will anticipate all your needs can take care of your children in your absence and can collect your packages while you’re out.

6. Trustworthy

Your neighbors can be trusted when you rely on them for taking care of your children, pet, or property in your absence.

A neighbor must keep their surroundings clean. They should dispose of their trash responsibly and keep a litter-free lawn or driveway. Clean surroundings will help you and your family stay healthy.

These are some of the indispensable qualities to look for in a good neighbor. If you’re looking to buy or sell a home in the Hermosa Beach area, contact the experts at Brighton Escrow today. We are happy to offer you a top-tier escrow service.

• Teaching adults
• Lesson plans
• Pre-intermediate A2

Get to know the neighbours

Use this lesson in online or face-to-face delivery with lower level adults and teenagers to develop fluency skills and review adjectives of personality.

Introduction

Students are led through a series of activities to create profiles for imaginary characters who live in the same neighbourhood. The lesson then brings these characters together at a neighbourhood party, where students can practice asking and answering simple questions about work, family, hobbies and so on.

As well as developing spoken fluency, there are opportunities to expand vocabulary (personality adjectives) and some useful questions for making small talk.

• To develop a set of adjectives to describe personality
• To raise awareness of what kind of questions are socially acceptable
• To teach a set of useful ‘small talk’ questions
• To encourage students to be creative and imaginative
• To build spoken fluency

Adults and teenagers with minimum CEF level A2

50 - 60 minutes

Teachers notes and student worksheets can be downloaded below in PDF format.

• Face-to-face materials developed by Rachael Roberts
• Online teaching materials developed by Danish Abdullah

Important: Please read

To support teachers having to work online during the COVID-19 pandemic, this lesson has been adapted for teachers providing online classes. The lesson notes are specifically for online lessons and the class materials have been made available as a PowerPoint.

Included in the teachers' notes, there is guidance and advice for what teachers need to know and do before and at the beginning of an online class. Please read the lesson instructions carefully before using them. They are for guidance only, and designed to be used with the most common online platforms. You may need to adapt the lesson to the format and online platform you are working with.

Neighbourhood in postmodern life

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Get to know the neighbors

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Research and insight

Browse fascinating case studies, research papers, publications and books by researchers and ELT experts from around the world.

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Suburban Finance

How to Set Boundaries With Neighbors When Being Nice Turns Into a Nightmare

Posted: May 24, 2024 | Last updated: May 24, 2024

Have you ever had that awkward moment where being a friendly neighbor starts to feel more like a full-time job? At that point, boundaries need to be set. It’s all about keeping things friendly without letting your neighborly love become a living nightmare. So, here’s a guide to help you tactfully handle these situations.

Define Your Space Clearly

Who knew that planting a few bushes could do more than beautify? Statistically, clear physical boundaries like shrubs or fences can reduce property disputes significantly. If your neighbor treats your yard like part of their own, it’s time to kindly reinforce those property lines. Consider it a green investment in peace and privacy.

Set Specific Borrowing Guidelines

Lend a tool once; before you know it, your garage becomes the neighborhood hardware store. Next time, try saying, “Sure, you can borrow the ladder, but I’ll need it back by tomorrow evening.” Setting a clear timeline makes asking for your stuff back less awkward.

Address Noise Concerns Casually

Noise pollution isn’t just annoying; it can actually affect health. If your neighbor’s late-night parties keep you up, try saying, “Love the playlist, but could we turn it down after 10 p.m.?” A friendly approach can often solve things faster than you’d expect.

Propose a Favor Exchange

“Help me with my yard, and I’ll fix your leaky faucet?” When favors become frequent, suggesting a barter system can keep things fair. It transforms endless requests into a mutual aid pact, which feels more like a community than a one-way street.

Communicate Regularly

Don’t wait for frustrations to build up. Have regular friendly chats about what works for both households. Keeping the communication open prevents misunderstandings and makes it easier to bring up new issues. Plus, who doesn’t appreciate a good neighborly talk?

Be Direct but Kind

When boundaries are crossed, be direct but kind. It’s about balance—expressing your needs while respecting theirs. “I treasure our chats but need quiet by 8 p.m. to unwind.” Clear, kind communication is often all it takes to maintain harmony.

Suggest Alternatives

When saying no to an invite, offer an alternative to show you still value the relationship. “This week’s packed, but how about a coffee next Tuesday?” It shows you’re still open to friendly interactions, just on a schedule that works for you.

Host a Neighborhood Meet-up

Ever thought a simple BBQ could solve real problems? Hosting a neighborhood get-together is a great way to set communal boundaries and strengthen ties. Plus, it’s a perfect setting to collectively discuss and agree on neighborhood norms.

Utilize Local Services

If your neighbor relies on you a bit too much, suggest local services that can assist. “The new handyman service could really speed up your renovations!” It’s a gentle nudge towards independence and a relief for you.

Respect Their Boundaries, Too

Respecting their space and privacy is crucial, too; it’s a two-way street. When both parties maintain mutual respect, the need for formal complaints drops. Lead by example, and you’ll likely see a positive change in their behavior.

Use Community Resources

Community mediators or homeowner association (HOA) guidelines can be invaluable for stickier situations. They’re there to help ensure everyone can enjoy their home environment, which might save you from a headache or two.

Agree on Pet Policies

Pets wandering into your yard can be troublesome. A gentle reminder, such as “Let’s keep our pets on our own properties; it’s safer for them, too,” can prevent potential issues like property damage or lost pets.

Limit Socializing

Setting times when you’re available to socialize in the neighborhood is okay. This ensures you maintain your own space and time. Being clear about availability prevents unexpected disruptions in your day-to-day life.

Document Serious Issues

If problems persist, start documenting incidents. This can provide a clear basis for discussions or necessary actions later on. It’s a practical step for those times when a friendly chat just doesn’t cut it.

Seek Legal Advice if Needed

In extreme cases, legal advice might be necessary. As the saying goes, “Better safe than sorry,” especially when your peace and privacy are at stake. Legal boundaries can ensure long-term solutions to ongoing issues.

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• Open access
• Published: 21 May 2024

The bright side of sports: a systematic review on well-being, positive emotions and performance

• David Peris-Delcampo 1 ,
• Antonio Núñez 2 ,
• Paula Ortiz-Marholz 3 ,
• Aurelio Olmedilla 4 ,
• Enrique Cantón 1 ,
• Javier Ponseti 2 &
• Alejandro Garcia-Mas 2  

BMC Psychology volume  12 , Article number:  284 ( 2024 ) Cite this article

357 Accesses

Metrics details

The objective of this study is to conduct a systematic review regarding the relationship between positive psychological factors, such as psychological well-being and pleasant emotions, and sports performance.

This study, carried out through a systematic review using PRISMA guidelines considering the Web of Science, PsycINFO, PubMed and SPORT Discus databases, seeks to highlight the relationship between other more ‘positive’ factors, such as well-being, positive emotions and sports performance.

The keywords will be decided by a Delphi Method in two rounds with sport psychology experts.

Participants

There are no participants in the present research.

The main exclusion criteria were: Non-sport thema, sample younger or older than 20–65 years old, qualitative or other methodology studies, COVID-related, journals not exclusively about Psychology.

Main outcomes measures

We obtained a first sample of 238 papers, and finally, this sample was reduced to the final sample of 11 papers.

The results obtained are intended to be a representation of the ‘bright side’ of sports practice, and as a complement or mediator of the negative variables that have an impact on athletes’ and coaches’ performance.

Conclusions

Clear recognition that acting on intrinsic motivation continues to be the best and most effective way to motivate oneself to obtain the highest levels of performance, a good perception of competence and a source of personal satisfaction.

Peer Review reports

Introduction

In recent decades, research in the psychology of sport and physical exercise has focused on the analysis of psychological variables that could have a disturbing, unfavourable or detrimental role, including emotions that are considered ‘negative’, such as anxiety/stress, sadness or anger, concentrating on their unfavourable relationship with sports performance [ 1 , 2 , 3 , 4 ], sports injuries [ 5 , 6 , 7 ] or, more generally, damage to the athlete’s health [ 8 , 9 , 10 ]. The study of ‘positive’ emotions such as happiness or, more broadly, psychological well-being, has been postponed at this time, although in recent years this has seen an increase that reveals a field of study of great interest to researchers and professionals [ 11 , 12 , 13 ] including physiological, psychological, moral and social beneficial effects of the physical activity in comic book heroes such as Tintin, a team leader, which can serve as a model for promoting healthy lifestyles, or seeking ‘eternal youth’ [ 14 ].

Emotions in relation to their effects on sports practice and performance rarely go in one direction, being either negative or positive—generally positive and negative emotions do not act alone [ 15 ]. Athletes experience different emotions simultaneously, even if they are in opposition and especially if they are of mild or moderate intensity [ 16 ]. The athlete can feel satisfied and happy and at the same time perceive a high level of stress or anxiety before a specific test or competition. Some studies [ 17 ] have shown how sports participation and the perceived value of elite sports positively affect the subjective well-being of the athlete. This also seems to be the case in non-elite sports practice. The review by Mansfield et al. [ 18 ] showed that the published literature suggests that practising sports and dance, in a group or supported by peers, can improve the subjective well-being of the participants, and also identifies negative feelings towards competence and ability, although the quantity and quality of the evidence published is low, requiring better designed studies. All these investigations are also supported by the development of the concept of eudaimonic well-being [ 19 ], which is linked to the development of intrinsic motivation, not only in its aspect of enjoyment but also in its relationship with the perception of competition and overcoming and achieving goals, even if this is accompanied by other unpleasant hedonic emotions or even physical discomfort. Shortly after a person has practised sports, he will remember those feelings of exhaustion and possibly stiffness, linked to feelings of satisfaction and even enjoyment.

Furthermore, the mediating role of parents, coaches and other psychosocial agents can be significant. In this sense, Lemelin et al. [ 20 ], with the aim of investigating the role of autonomy support from parents and coaches in the prediction of well-being and performance of athletes, found that autonomy support from parents and coaches has positive relationships with the well-being of the athlete, but that only coach autonomy support is associated with sports performance. This research suggests that parents and coaches play important but distinct roles in athlete well-being and that coach autonomy support could help athletes achieve high levels of performance.

On the other hand, an analysis of emotions in the sociocultural environment in which they arise and gain meaning is always interesting, both from an individual perspective and from a sports team perspective. Adler et al. [ 21 ] in a study with military teams showed that teams with a strong emotional culture of optimism were better positioned to recover from poor performance, suggesting that organisations that promote an optimistic culture develop more resilient teams. Pekrun et al. [ 22 ] observed with mathematics students that individual success boosts emotional well-being, while placing people in high-performance groups can undermine it, which is of great interest in investigating the effectiveness and adjustment of the individual in sports teams.

There is still little scientific literature in the field of positive emotions and their relationship with sports practice and athlete performance, although their approach has long had its clear supporters [ 23 , 24 ]. It is comforting to observe the significant increase in studies in this field, since some authors (e.g [ 25 , 26 ]). . , point out the need to overcome certain methodological and conceptual problems, paying special attention to the development of specific instruments for the evaluation of well-being in the sports field and evaluation methodologies.

As McCarthy [ 15 ] indicates, positive emotions (hedonically pleasant) can be the catalysts for excellence in sport and deserve a space in our research and in professional intervention to raise the level of athletes’ performance. From a holistic perspective, positive emotions are permanently linked to psychological well-being and research in this field is necessary: firstly because of the leading role they play in human behaviour, cognition and affection, and secondly, because after a few years of international uncertainty due to the COVID-19 pandemic and wars, it seems ‘healthy and intelligent’ to encourage positive emotions for our athletes. An additional reason is that they are known to improve motivational processes, reducing abandonment and negative emotional costs [ 11 ]. In this vein, concepts such as emotional intelligence make sense and can help to identify and properly manage emotions in the sports field and determine their relationship with performance [ 27 ] that facilitates the inclusion of emotional training programmes based on the ‘bright side’ of sports practice [ 28 ].

Based on all of the above, one might wonder how these positive emotions are related to a given event and what role each one of them plays in the athlete’s performance. Do they directly affect performance, or do they affect other psychological variables such as concentration, motivation and self-efficacy? Do they favour the availability and competent performance of the athlete in a competition? How can they be regulated, controlled for their own benefit? How can other psychosocial agents, such as parents or coaches, help to increase the well-being of their athletes?

This work aims to enhance the leading role, not the secondary, of the ‘good and pleasant side’ of sports practice, either with its own entity, or as a complement or mediator of the negative variables that have an impact on the performance of athletes and coaches. Therefore, the objective of this study is to conduct a systematic review regarding the relationship between positive psychological factors, such as psychological well-being and pleasant emotions, and sports performance. For this, the methodological criteria that constitute the systematic review procedure will be followed.

Materials and methods

This study was carried out through a systematic review using PRISMA (Preferred Reporting Items for Systematic Reviews) guidelines considering the Web of Science (WoS) and Psycinfo databases. These two databases were selected using the Delphi method [ 29 ]. It does not include a meta-analysis because there is great data dispersion due to the different methodologies used [ 30 ].

The keywords will be decided by the Delphi Method in two rounds with sport psychology experts. The results obtained are intended to be a representation of the ‘bright side’ of sports practice, and as a complement or mediator of the negative variables that have an impact on athletes’ and coaches’ performance.

It was determined that the main construct was to be psychological well-being, and that it was to be paired with optimism, healthy practice, realisation, positive mood, and performance and sport. The search period was limited to papers published between 2000 and 2023, and the final list of papers was obtained on February 13 , 2023. This research was conducted in two languages—English and Spanish—and was limited to psychological journals and specifically those articles where the sample was formed by athletes.

Each word was searched for in each database, followed by searches involving combinations of the same in pairs and then in trios. In relation to the results obtained, it was decided that the best approach was to group the words connected to positive psychology on the one hand, and on the other, those related to self-realisation/performance/health. In this way, it used parentheses to group words (psychological well-being; or optimism; or positive mood) with the Boolean ‘or’ between them (all three refer to positive psychology); and on the other hand, it grouped those related to performance/health/realisation (realisation; or healthy practice or performance), separating both sets of parentheses by the Boolean ‘and’’. To further filter the search, a keyword included in the title and in the inclusion criteria was added, which was ‘sport’ with the Boolean ‘and’’. In this way, the search achieved results that combined at least one of the three positive psychology terms and one of the other three.

Results (first phase)

The mentioned keywords were cross-matched, obtaining the combination with a sufficient number of papers. From the first research phase, the total number of papers obtained was 238. Then screening was carried out by 4 well-differentiated phases that are summarised in Fig.  1 . These phases helped to reduce the original sample to a more accurate one.

Phases of the selection process for the final sample. Four phases were carried out to select the final sample of articles. The first phase allowed the elimination of duplicates. In the second stage, those that, by title or abstract, did not fit the objectives of the article were eliminated. Previously selected exclusion criteria were applied to the remaining sample. Thus, in phase 4, the final sample of 11 selected articles was obtained

Results (second phase)

The first screening examined the title, and the abstract if needed, excluding the papers that were duplicated, contained errors or someone with formal problems, low N or case studies. This screening allowed the initial sample to be reduced to a more accurate one with 109 papers selected.

Results (third phase)

This was followed by the second screening to examine the abstract and full texts, excluding if necessary papers related to non-sports themes, samples that were too old or too young for our interests, papers using qualitative methodologies, articles related to the COVID period, or others published in non-psychological journals. Furthermore, papers related to ‘negative psychological variables’’ were also excluded.

Results (fourth phase)

At the end of this second screening the remaining number of papers was 11. In this final phase we tried to organise the main characteristics and their main conclusions/results in a comprehensible list (Table  1 ). Moreover, in order to enrich our sample of papers, we decided to include some articles from other sources, mainly those presented in the introduction to sustain the conceptual framework of the concept ‘bright side’ of sports.

The usual position of the researcher of psychological variables that affect sports performance is to look for relationships between ‘negative’ variables, first in the form of basic psychological processes, or distorting cognitive behavioural, unpleasant or evaluable as deficiencies or problems, in a psychology for the ‘risk’ society, which emphasises the rehabilitation that stems from overcoming personal and social pathologies [ 31 ], and, lately, regarding the affectation of the athlete’s mental health [ 32 ]. This fact seems to be true in many cases and situations and to openly contradict the proclaimed psychological benefits of practising sports (among others: Cantón [ 33 ], ; Froment and González [ 34 ]; Jürgens [ 35 ]).

However, it is possible to adopt another approach focused on the ‘positive’ variables, also in relation to the athlete’s performance. This has been the main objective of this systematic review of the existing literature and far from being a novel approach, although a minority one, it fits perfectly with the definition of our area of knowledge in the broad field of health, as has been pointed out for some time [ 36 , 37 ].

After carrying out the aforementioned systematic review, a relatively low number of articles were identified by experts that met the established conditions—according to the PRISMA method [ 37 , 38 , 39 , 40 ]—regarding databases, keywords, and exclusion and inclusion criteria. These precautions were taken to obtain the most accurate results possible, and thus guarantee the quality of the conclusions.

The first clear result that stands out is the great difficulty in finding articles in which sports ‘performance’ is treated as a well-defined study variable adapted to the situation and the athletes studied. In fact, among the results (11 papers), only 3 associate one or several positive psychological variables with performance (which is evaluated in very different ways, combining objective measures with other subjective ones). This result is not surprising, since in several previous studies (e.g. Nuñez et al. [ 41 ]) using a systematic review, this relationship is found to be very weak and nuanced by the role of different mediating factors, such as previous sports experience or the competitive level (e.g. Rascado, et al. [ 42 ]; Reche, Cepero & Rojas [ 43 ]), despite the belief—even among professional and academic circles—that there is a strong relationship between negative variables and poor performance, and vice versa, with respect to the positive variables.

Regarding what has been evidenced in relation to the latter, even with these restrictions in the inclusion and exclusion criteria, and the filters applied to the first findings, a true ‘galaxy’ of variables is obtained, which also belong to different categories and levels of psychological complexity.

A preliminary consideration regarding the current paradigm of sport psychology: although it is true that some recent works have already announced the swing of the pendulum on the objects of study of PD, by returning to the study of traits and dispositions, and even to the personality of athletes [ 43 , 44 , 45 , 46 ], our results fully corroborate this trend. Faced with five variables present in the studies selected at the end of the systematic review, a total of three traits/dispositions were found, which were also the most repeated—optimism being present in four articles, mental toughness present in three, and finally, perfectionism—as the representative concepts of this field of psychology, which lately, as has already been indicated, is significantly represented in the field of research in this area [ 46 , 47 , 48 , 49 , 50 , 51 , 52 ]. In short, the psychological variables that finally appear in the selected articles are: psychological well-being (PWB) [ 53 ]; self-compassion, which has recently been gaining much relevance with respect to the positive attributional resolution of personal behaviours [ 54 ], satisfaction with life (balance between sports practice, its results, and life and personal fulfilment [ 55 ], the existence of approach-achievement goals [ 56 ], and perceived social support [ 57 ]). This last concept is maintained transversally in several theoretical frameworks, such as Sports Commitment [ 58 ].

The most relevant concept, both quantitatively and qualitatively, supported by the fact that it is found in combination with different variables and situations, is not a basic psychological process, but a high-level cognitive construct: psychological well-being, in its eudaimonic aspect, first defined in the general population by Carol Ryff [ 59 , 60 ] and introduced at the beginning of this century in sport (e.g., Romero, Brustad & García-Mas [ 13 ], ; Romero, García-Mas & Brustad [ 61 ]). It is important to note that this concept understands psychological well-being as multifactorial, including autonomy, control of the environment in which the activity takes place, social relationships, etc.), meaning personal fulfilment through a determined activity and the achievement or progress towards goals and one’s own objectives, without having any direct relationship with simpler concepts, such as vitality or fun. In the selected studies, PWB appears in five of them, and is related to several of the other variables/traits.

The most relevant result regarding this variable is its link with motivational aspects, as a central axis that relates to different concepts, hence its connection to sports performance, as a goal of constant improvement that requires resistance, perseverance, management of errors and great confidence in the possibility that achievements can be attained, that is, associated with ideas of optimism, which is reflected in expectations of effectiveness.

If we detail the relationships more specifically, we can first review this relationship with the ‘way of being’, understood as personality traits or behavioural tendencies, depending on whether more or less emphasis is placed on their possibilities for change and learning. In these cases, well-being derives from satisfaction with progress towards the desired goal, for which resistance (mental toughness) and confidence (optimism) are needed. When, in addition, the search for improvement is constant and aiming for excellence, its relationship with perfectionism is clear, although it is a factor that should be explored further due to its potential negative effect, at least in the long term.

The relationship between well-being and satisfaction with life is almost tautological, in the precise sense that what produces well-being is the perception of a relationship or positive balance between effort (or the perception of control, if we use stricter terminology) and the results thereof (or the effectiveness of such control). This direct link is especially important when assessing achievement in personally relevant activities, which, in the case of the subjects evaluated in the papers, specifically concern athletes of a certain level of performance, which makes it a more valuable objective than would surely be found in the general population. And precisely because of this effect of the value of performance for athletes of a certain level, it also allows us to understand how well-being is linked to self-compassion, since as a psychological concept it is very close to that of self-esteem, but with a lower ‘demand’ or a greater ‘generosity’, when we encounter failures, mistakes or even defeats along the way, which offers us greater protection from the risk of abandonment and therefore reinforces persistence, a key element for any successful sports career [ 62 ].

It also has a very direct relationship with approach-achievement goals, since precisely one of the central aspects characterising this eudaimonic well-being and differentiating it from hedonic well-being is specifically its relationship with self-determined and persistent progress towards goals or achievements with incentive value for the person, as is sports performance evidently [ 63 ].

Finally, it is interesting to see how we can also find a facet or link relating to the aspects that are more closely-related to the need for human affiliation, with feeling part of a group or human collective, where we can recognise others and recognise ourselves in the achievements obtained and the social reinforcement of those themselves, as indicated by their relationship with perceived social support. This construct is very labile, in fact it is common to find results in which the pressure of social support is hardly differentiated, for example, from the parents of athletes and/or their coaches [ 64 ]. However, its relevance within this set of psychological variables and traits is proof of its possible conceptual validity.

Analysing the results obtained, the first conclusion is that in no case is an integrated model based solely on ‘positive’ variables or traits obtained, since some ‘negative’ ones appear (anxiety, stress, irrational thoughts), affecting the former.

The second conclusion is that among the positive elements the variable coping strategies (their use, or the perception of their effectiveness) and the traits of optimism, perfectionism and self-compassion prevail, since mental strength or psychological well-being (which also appear as important, but with a more complex nature) are seen to be participated in by the aforementioned traits.

Finally, it must be taken into account that the generation of positive elements, such as resilience, or the learning of coping strategies, are directly affected by the educational style received, or by the culture in which the athlete is immersed. Thus, the applied potential of these findings is great, but it must be calibrated according to the educational and/or cultural features of the specific setting.

Limitations

The limitations of this study are those evident and common in SR methodology using the PRISMA system, since the selection of keywords (and their logical connections used in the search), the databases, and the inclusion/exclusion criteria bias the work in its entirety and, therefore, constrain the generalisation of the results obtained.

Likewise, the conclusions must—based on the above and the results obtained—be made with the greatest concreteness and simplicity possible. Although we have tried to reduce these limitations as much as possible through the use of experts in the first steps of the method, they remain and must be considered in terms of the use of the results.

Future developments

Undoubtedly, progress is needed in research to more precisely elucidate the role of well-being, as it has been proposed here, from a bidirectional perspective: as a motivational element to push towards improvement and the achievement of goals, and as a product or effect of the self-determined and competent behaviour of the person, in relation to different factors, such as that indicated here of ‘perfectionism’ or the potential interference of material and social rewards, which are linked to sports performance—in our case—and that could act as a risk factor so that our achievements, far from being a source of well-being and satisfaction, become an insatiable demand in the search to obtain more and more frequent rewards.

From a practical point of view, an empirical investigation should be conducted to see if these relationships hold from a statistical point of view, either in the classical (correlational) or in the probabilistic (Bayesian Networks) plane.

The results obtained in this study, exclusively researched from the desk, force the authors to develop subsequent empirical and/or experimental studies in two senses: (1) what interrelationships exist between the so called ‘positive’ and ‘negative’ psychological variables and traits in sport, and in what sense are each of them produced; and, (2) from a global, motivational point of view, can currently accepted theoretical frameworks, such as SDT, easily accommodate this duality, which is becoming increasingly evident in applied work?

Finally, these studies should lead to proposals applied to the two fields that have appeared to be relevant: educational and cultural.

Application/transfer of results

A clear application of these results is aimed at guiding the training of sports and physical exercise practitioners, directing it towards strategies for assessing achievements, improvements and failure management, which keep them in line with well-being enhancement, eudaimonic, intrinsic and self-determined, which enhances the quality of their learning and their results and also favours personal health and social relationships.

Data availability

There are no further external data.

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Peris-Delcampo, D., Núñez, A., Ortiz-Marholz, P. et al. The bright side of sports: a systematic review on well-being, positive emotions and performance. BMC Psychol 12 , 284 (2024). https://doi.org/10.1186/s40359-024-01769-8

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What I’ve Learned From My Students’ College Essays

The genre is often maligned for being formulaic and melodramatic, but it’s more important than you think.

By Nell Freudenberger

Most high school seniors approach the college essay with dread. Either their upbringing hasn’t supplied them with several hundred words of adversity, or worse, they’re afraid that packaging the genuine trauma they’ve experienced is the only way to secure their future. The college counselor at the Brooklyn high school where I’m a writing tutor advises against trauma porn. “Keep it brief , ” she says, “and show how you rose above it.”

I started volunteering in New York City schools in my 20s, before I had kids of my own. At the time, I liked hanging out with teenagers, whom I sometimes had more interesting conversations with than I did my peers. Often I worked with students who spoke English as a second language or who used slang in their writing, and at first I was hung up on grammar. Should I correct any deviation from “standard English” to appeal to some Wizard of Oz behind the curtains of a college admissions office? Or should I encourage students to write the way they speak, in pursuit of an authentic voice, that most elusive of literary qualities?

In fact, I was missing the point. One of many lessons the students have taught me is to let the story dictate the voice of the essay. A few years ago, I worked with a boy who claimed to have nothing to write about. His life had been ordinary, he said; nothing had happened to him. I asked if he wanted to try writing about a family member, his favorite school subject, a summer job? He glanced at his phone, his posture and expression suggesting that he’d rather be anywhere but in front of a computer with me. “Hobbies?” I suggested, without much hope. He gave me a shy glance. “I like to box,” he said.

I’ve had this experience with reluctant writers again and again — when a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously. Of course the primary goal of a college essay is to help its author get an education that leads to a career. Changes in testing policies and financial aid have made applying to college more confusing than ever, but essays have remained basically the same. I would argue that they’re much more than an onerous task or rote exercise, and that unlike standardized tests they are infinitely variable and sometimes beautiful. College essays also provide an opportunity to learn precision, clarity and the process of working toward the truth through multiple revisions.

When a topic clicks with a student, an essay can unfurl spontaneously.

Even if writing doesn’t end up being fundamental to their future professions, students learn to choose language carefully and to be suspicious of the first words that come to mind. Especially now, as college students shoulder so much of the country’s ethical responsibility for war with their protest movement, essay writing teaches prospective students an increasingly urgent lesson: that choosing their own words over ready-made phrases is the only reliable way to ensure they’re thinking for themselves.

Teenagers are ideal writers for several reasons. They’re usually free of preconceptions about writing, and they tend not to use self-consciously ‘‘literary’’ language. They’re allergic to hypocrisy and are generally unfiltered: They overshare, ask personal questions and call you out for microaggressions as well as less egregious (but still mortifying) verbal errors, such as referring to weed as ‘‘pot.’’ Most important, they have yet to put down their best stories in a finished form.

I can imagine an essay taking a risk and distinguishing itself formally — a poem or a one-act play — but most kids use a more straightforward model: a hook followed by a narrative built around “small moments” that lead to a concluding lesson or aspiration for the future. I never get tired of working with students on these essays because each one is different, and the short, rigid form sometimes makes an emotional story even more powerful. Before I read Javier Zamora’s wrenching “Solito,” I worked with a student who had been transported by a coyote into the U.S. and was reunited with his mother in the parking lot of a big-box store. I don’t remember whether this essay focused on specific skills or coping mechanisms that he gained from his ordeal. I remember only the bliss of the parent-and-child reunion in that uninspiring setting. If I were making a case to an admissions officer, I would suggest that simply being able to convey that experience demonstrates the kind of resilience that any college should admire.

The essays that have stayed with me over the years don’t follow a pattern. There are some narratives on very predictable topics — living up to the expectations of immigrant parents, or suffering from depression in 2020 — that are moving because of the attention with which the student describes the experience. One girl determined to become an engineer while watching her father build furniture from scraps after work; a boy, grieving for his mother during lockdown, began taking pictures of the sky.

If, as Lorrie Moore said, “a short story is a love affair; a novel is a marriage,” what is a college essay? Every once in a while I sit down next to a student and start reading, and I have to suppress my excitement, because there on the Google Doc in front of me is a real writer’s voice. One of the first students I ever worked with wrote about falling in love with another girl in dance class, the absolute magic of watching her move and the terror in the conflict between her feelings and the instruction of her religious middle school. She made me think that college essays are less like love than limerence: one-sided, obsessive, idiosyncratic but profound, the first draft of the most personal story their writers will ever tell.

Nell Freudenberger’s novel “The Limits” was published by Knopf last month. She volunteers through the PEN America Writers in the Schools program.