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Essay on Healthy Relationships

Students are often asked to write an essay on Healthy Relationships in their schools and colleges. And if you’re also looking for the same, we have created 100-word, 250-word, and 500-word essays on the topic.

Let’s take a look…

100 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

What is a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is like a good friendship. It is when two people spend time together and enjoy each other’s company. They respect each other, listen to each other, and understand each other’s needs. They support each other in good and bad times. A healthy relationship is full of love, trust, and happiness.

Importance of Communication

Talking and listening are important in a healthy relationship. It helps people understand each other better. They can share their feelings, thoughts, and ideas. Good communication also helps to solve problems and avoid misunderstandings.

Trust and Honesty

Trust and honesty are key in a healthy relationship. Trust means believing in the other person. Honesty means telling the truth. Both help to build a strong and loving relationship. They make people feel safe and comfortable with each other.

Respect and Boundaries

Respect is treating others the way you want to be treated. It is about valuing the other person’s feelings, thoughts, and choices. Boundaries are also important. They are rules that help people feel safe and comfortable. They protect people’s personal space and freedom.

Dealing with Conflicts

Conflicts can happen in any relationship. But in a healthy relationship, people handle conflicts in a positive way. They listen to each other, understand the problem, and find a solution together. They do not hurt each other’s feelings or make each other feel bad.

250 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is a bond between two or more people. It is filled with respect, trust, honesty, and good communication. In such relationships, people feel safe and happy. They enjoy spending time together and support each other in good and bad times.

Key Features

There are some important features of a healthy relationship. These include open communication, respect, trust, and equality. Open communication means that people talk freely about their feelings. Respect means that they value each other’s opinions and feelings. Trust means that they believe in each other. Equality means that they treat each other as equals.

Why are Healthy Relationships Important?

Healthy relationships are important for our well-being. They make us feel happy and secure. They also help us grow as individuals. In a healthy relationship, we learn to trust and respect others. We also learn to communicate our feelings in a better way.

How to Build Healthy Relationships?

Building a healthy relationship takes effort. It starts with respect and trust. We should respect each other’s feelings and trust each other. We should also communicate openly. If there is a problem, we should talk about it and find a solution together. We should also spend quality time together. This helps to strengthen the bond.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a beautiful bond. It is filled with respect, trust, and good communication. It makes us feel happy and secure. It helps us grow as individuals. To build a healthy relationship, we should respect, trust, and communicate openly with each other.

500 Words Essay on Healthy Relationships

A healthy relationship is like a good friendship. It is filled with respect, trust, honesty, and good communication. In a healthy relationship, both people feel good about each other and about themselves.

Signs of a Healthy Relationship

There are many signs of a healthy relationship. One of the most important is respect. This means that each person values the other and understands and respects their rights.

Another sign is trust. Trust is like a strong rope that holds the relationship together. If there is trust, each person feels secure and safe.

Good communication is also a sign of a healthy relationship. It’s like a bridge that connects two people. With good communication, both people can express their feelings and thoughts openly and honestly.

Importance of a Healthy Relationship

Healthy relationships are very important for our happiness and well-being. They give us a sense of belonging and help us feel loved and valued. They also provide support when we face challenges or problems.

Moreover, healthy relationships teach us important life skills. They help us learn how to respect others, how to trust, and how to communicate effectively. These skills are very helpful in all areas of our life.

Building a Healthy Relationship

Building a healthy relationship is like planting a seed and taking care of it so it can grow into a strong tree. It takes time, effort, and patience.

The first step is to build respect. This can be done by treating the other person with kindness, listening to them, and valuing their opinions.

The second step is to build trust. This can be done by being honest, reliable, and keeping promises.

The third step is to build good communication. This can be done by talking openly about feelings and thoughts, listening carefully, and trying to understand the other person’s point of view.

In conclusion, a healthy relationship is a valuable part of our lives. It is built on respect, trust, and good communication. It brings us joy and helps us grow as individuals. Building a healthy relationship takes time and effort, but the rewards are worth it. Remember, everyone deserves to be in a healthy and happy relationship.

This essay is a simple guide to understanding the concept of healthy relationships. It is important to remember that each relationship is unique and may require different approaches. But the basic principles of respect, trust, and communication always remain the same.

That’s it! I hope the essay helped you.

If you’re looking for more, here are essays on other interesting topics:

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what is a healthy relationship essay

Andrea Bonior Ph.D.

  • Relationships

What Does a Healthy Relationship Look Like?

Knowing this may not always come naturally, so here are 13 signs to look for..

Posted December 28, 2018 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

Erickson Stock/Shutterstock

Much of my professional career has involved speaking, writing, and interpreting research about how to handle relationships that have gone wrong: partnerships that are controlling or toxic , for instance, or where trust has been broken . I'm often asked how to handle infidelity, betrayal, or emotional upheaval within a relationship — and it can be heartbreaking how widespread those issues tend to be.

But just as important is learning to identify when a relationship is going well. Many people are unsure of what to look for, or worse yet, they don't know all the positives that they truly deserve to have within a relationship. If someone grew up watching their parents or other family members act out chronically toxic patterns, then that person may very well come to define those patterns as "normal" and have difficulty understanding the baseline of what a good relationship looks like.

With that in mind, here is a place to start. Healthy, functional relationships have these characteristics — which apply especially to committed romantic relationships . They shouldn't be optional. And when they are missing, it's important to address the problem.

Trust is arguably among the most important relationship characteristics. Without trust, there is the lack of a solid foundation on which to build emotional intimacy, and your potential for hurt — over and over again — grows ever bigger. Without trust, you will be left constantly unsure of whether you can count on your partner to come through for you, and whether or not they really mean what they are saying. There are many ways to build and rebuild trust within a relationship, but if you are not on the path to doing so, your relationship is quite vulnerable to stress and uncertainty.

2. Communication

Communicating honestly and respectfully, especially about things that are difficult, is something that does not come automatically to everyone. We may have learned to keep uncomfortable things under the surface for the sake of harmony or the appearance of perfection, or we also may have never even learned how to acknowledge difficult feelings to ourselves. Other challenges involve escalating a conflict into a full-out war: lacking the ability to not take things over-personally or lashing out when we feel threatened. It's okay if you have these tendencies; what's important is that you work on them, as strong and healthy communication is the lifeblood that nourishes good relationships.

3. Patience

No one can be perfectly patient all the time, and factors like lack of sleep, stress, or physical health problems will make you more easily agitated at various points in your life — that's part of being human. But partners in a healthy, loving relationship extend each other a basic common denominator of patience that allows for peace, flexibility, and support when one person is having a bad day or is not at their best. When partners are chronically impatient with each other, they often create a dynamic of bean-counting and resentment, where they are mentally racking up the "offenses" that the other partner has committed. Being able to adjust to the ebbs and flows of a partner's moods in day-to-day life — within reason — can instead allow a feeling of being unconditionally loved.

Being willing to take another person's perspective is helpful in so many cases — whether in parenting , being a good neighbor, or even just letting someone merge in front of you on the highway. But it is arguably most important with the person you've chosen as a partner. Can you truly put forth the effort to try to understand their perspective, even when you disagree with it? Does their pain spur you to try to help them feel better? Do you feel happy about their triumphs? Empathy is crucial for long-term love.

5. Affection and Interest

It likely goes without saying that love should be a part of any healthy, committed romantic relationship — in fact, I didn't bother to put that on the main list. But more subtle than love is the expression of that love in the form of affection and also a genuine interest — a liking of each other. Small physical gestures of affection, like hugs, kisses, and comforting touch, can go a long way to keeping each person feeling comforted and secure within their relationship. There is no one "right" amount of physical affection within a relationship — as long as both partners feel comfortable with how their needs match up. The same is true of physical intimacy. As for the "like" factor, this goes further than love — it means that you are truly interested in each other and fond of each other, and that you are together out of attraction (even if no longer the physical infatuation of the early days) rather than obligation.

6. Flexibility

You've heard it before — relationships take compromise. And while some things don't allow for a perfect scenario on that front (you can't decide to have half a child, for instance), the key component that makes for good compromise is important no matter what: flexibility. It's important that both partners show flexibility in day-to-day life and decision-making , because if it is just one partner always doing the bending, that imbalance can grow toxic over time. In healthy relationships, both partners are willing to adjust as needed to the changes and growth — positive and negative — that may come about during a long-term relationship. And they are able to evaluate on a joint level, especially during conflicts, what matters most to each person within the relationship, and how that should be prioritized. Two partners who are never willing to bend to meet the other will be on separate paths altogether before long — a far cry from truly sharing a life together.

7. Appreciation

The research about the importance of gratitude within relationships is striking; it makes us feel happier and more secure with our partners. And the more that we feel that gratitude , the more we feel appreciated for who we are within relationships, which also improves the relationship's well-being. Even small expressions of gratitude and appreciation can help improve relationship satisfaction. So the next time you think it doesn't matter whether you say "thank you" for something your partner did, think again. And perhaps consider the negative feelings all of us tend to have when we notice a lack of appreciation over time.

what is a healthy relationship essay

8. Room for Growth

Relationships grow stale not just because a certain amount of time has elapsed, but because people feel stuck and unable to progress, either as individuals or as a couple. It is unrealistic — and downright unhealthy — to expect that two people will remain the exact same across months, years, and decades of a relationship. Hopes, fears, goals , and interests constantly evolve, and that is a very good thing. A relationship doesn't have to end or even suffer because of this, as long as both people allow each other the space to grow, by not pigeonholing each other into their younger selves, by trying to take an interest in learning what's important to the other person, and by not setting expectations that are inflexible.

We often associate the concept of respect with people or concepts that are not intimate with each other: respecting one's elders, respecting symbols of religious faith, or respecting authority. But respect is every bit as important within a close partnership, if not more so. In healthy relationships, people talk to each other in ways that don't debase, invalidate, or belittle. They value each other's time and opinions like they value their own. They protect each other's privacy and don't use each other as the butt of jokes or as hired help to constantly clean up the apartment or make a thankless dinner. When respect begins to erode within a relationship, it is a long and painstaking road to build it back — the damage is far easier to do than undo.

10. Reciprocity

In healthy partnerships, the tallying that early relationships show ("He picked me up at the airport last week, so I owe him a favor") fades into the background as a new, trusting equilibrium takes its place — you both just generally do for each other when needed. In an ideal situation, the give-and-take roughly works out to equal over time, and neither partner feels resentful. Of course, in many relationships, the give-and-take won't ever become equal (e.g., one partner needs long-term medical care, is naturally a more happily nurturing person, or struggles with a psychological disorder). And that can be okay, as long as both partners feel comfortable overall with the level of give-and-take as it exists, and they each find a way to give something to the relationship and their partners — especially in the form of emotional support — when they can.

11. Healthy Conflict Resolution

Much research has pointed to the fact that the way a couple argues — or doesn't — can predict a lot about their relationship's success. We tend to have rose-colored glasses about romance in American culture. We are willing to entertain conflict in the beginning (the boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl, then boy-gets-girl-back-and-lives-happily-ever-after trope common in so many popular films, for instance), but once a couple rides off into the sunset together, we expect that things should be a-okay from then on out. Ironically, couples that hide their upset with one another in order to preserve the illusion of everything being perfect are probably far worse off than the couples that express their emotions and work to resolve them as they come up, even when it causes conflict. In short, healthy relationships refrain from stonewalling and escalating into personal attacks when there is a difference of opinion or a problem. They are able to talk it through with respect, empathy, and understanding.

12. Individuality and Boundaries

Two people who were exactly the same would probably not have much to talk about after a while; after all, they'd already know what the other's perspective would be, so why bother to listen to it? Of course, two people who are so different that they don't share each other's values or daily styles of living are bound to have too little in common to maintain an interest in each other (at best), or be downright incompatible, disliking each other from the start (at worst). The sweet spot is a relationship where the similarities create a foundation to connect with each other, but individual differences are still respected and valued. Moreover, it's important that each partner is given the freedom to still live their own life, especially in terms of friendships, professional goals, and hobbies. A strong, healthy relationship brings to mind a Venn diagram — there is adequate overlap to keep the connection strong, but each person has aspects of their lives that are theirs alone, and that boundary is respected by both parties.

13. Openness and Honesty

Different partners have different levels of openness within their relationships — some might be horrified at leaving the bathroom door open, for instance, whereas others will discuss the most intimate of physical details with each other without giving it a second thought. So too is the case with openness about hopes, dreams , and even the details of one's workday. But no matter where you fall on the spectrum of letting it all hang out, it's important that there is a solid match — and that honesty underlies whatever disclosures you do make. Partners who mask their true selves, hide their emotional realities or actively deceive their partners about their habits and behaviors are jeopardizing the fundamental foundation of trust that every relationship needs.

Are there other characteristics that are important in your relationship? Let me know in the comments!

Andrea Bonior Ph.D.

Andrea Bonior, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist and speaker on the faculty of Georgetown University. She is the author of Detox Your Thoughts: Quit Negative Self-Talk for Good and Discover the Life You've Always Wanted.

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Healthy Relationships: Definition, Why They’re Good for You, and How to Foster Them

Moira Lawler

Think about the many kinds of relationships you have in your life — not just any romantic ones, but also the friendships and the relationships you may have with your parents, children, coworkers, and boss.

You can probably count many. Humans have a natural desire to be close to other people, according to  Northwestern Medicine .

Relationships fill your time, and they fill your cup. Plus, they serve you: Healthy relationships can make your life not only happier, but healthier.

But what exactly makes a relationship healthy? And how can you tell the difference between a healthy one and an unhealthy one? Here, learn more about the ins and outs of healthy relationships and how you can nurture the ones you have in your life.

Common Questions & Answers

What is a healthy relationship.

A healthy relationship is a partnership between two people that is based on respect and trust, according to the  University of Alabama . Both partners in the relationship should feel safe and be willing to work on any imbalances if and when those issues show up.

Of course, some relationships won’t be perfectly balanced (in terms of power), such as professional ones and those between a parent and child, says Cassandra Aasmundsen-Fry, PsyD , a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of MindWell, who is based in Kuala Lumpur. “This does not make the relationship unhealthy, unless there is an abuse of that power or neglect of responsibility,” she says. (One of Dr. Aasmundsen-Fry’s specialties is with couples and relationships.)

Some experts say the most important aspect of a healthy relationship is good communication. But there’s more to it than that.

Here are some signs of a healthy relationship, according to Northwestern Medicine:

  • Listening and communicating without judgment
  • Trusting and respecting one another
  • Making time for each other
  • Remembering details about one’s life
  • Participating in healthy activities together
  • Working as a team
  • Feeling whole as individuals, rather than leaning on the partner for healing
  • Focusing on how the relationship can be mutually beneficial

Kelli Harding, MD, MPH , an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center in New York City, says teamwork is at the heart of positive relationships. “What’s key to healthy relationships is a sense of teamwork and facing challenges together,” says Dr. Harding, whose work involves speaking with schools, community groups, and organizations to foster cultures of kindness and positive social connection. “Healthy relationships are not perfect; they’re meaningful and help you grow as a person by making mistakes and learning to overcome them.”

Types of Healthy Relationships

All the different types of relationships in your life serve a purpose and can help you in distinct ways. Consider the following relationships:

  • Romantic Romantic partnerships come with their own set of signs of healthfulness , including a need to communicate about intimacy to ensure both partners are satisfied, according to Northwestern Medicine. “In a romantic relationship, two or more individuals are intimately connected and share trust, respect, fondness, and a mutual desire to support and grow together and as individuals,” Aasmundsen-Fry says. These intimate relationships are important because they enhance emotional bonding and contribute to the development of a positive self-concept and greater social integration, according to a systematic review published in July 2019 in the International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health .
  • Parent-Child A healthy parent-child relationship can set the child up to have positive relationships in the future, regulate their emotions appropriately, develop confidence, and develop appropriately, according to  Parenting NI , a parenting resource in Northern Ireland. A healthy parent-child relationship is marked by loving interactions, set boundaries, and a willingness to problem solve.
  • Sibling Healthy sibling relationships promote empathy, social behavior, and academic achievement, according to the  University of New Mexico . “The relationship may not feel equal at all times and may have more conflict than that in other relationships, but a willingness to communicate and work through issues should be present,” Aasmundsen-Fry says. “A close, healthy sibling relationship would involve confiding, spending time together, and involving each other in their lives and important events.”
  • Friendship  Having close friends benefits you in many ways; they help prevent loneliness, increase your sense of belonging, boost your happiness and self-worth, and help you cope with hardships, according to Mayo Clinic . Like other relationships, healthy friendships are built on trust and respect and make you feel good. (So, yes, it is worthwhile to reconnect with friends you’ve grown apart from .)
  • Mentor-Mentee These relationships are built on trust, respect, open communication, perseverance to overcome obstacle, and an understanding of the other’s perspective, according to  Yale University . However, there’s a definite power imbalance here, which makes it different from other relationships, Aasmundsen-Fry says. Still, the relationship should be rewarding for both parties. “The mentee benefits the most by receiving the guidance, advice, and training while growing professionally in a way that education alone cannot provide,” Aasmundsen-Fry says. “Mentors gain meaning and satisfaction out of the supervision and guidance of a mentee as well, especially when free choice is involved.”
  • Parasocial Relationships These are one-sided relationships where one party invests time, energy, and interest toward the other party, and the other party is not aware they exist, according to the National Register of Health Service Psychologists . “These relationships tend to be long-lasting and involve the individual investing significant time and energy into the ‘relationship,’ while the public figure is not aware of their existence,” says Jessica Leader , a licensed marriage and family therapist with Root to Rise Therapy in Los Angeles. These relationships can skew unhealthy if they morph into stalking, but for the most part these relationships are healthy and harmless. These relationships can help people build confidence in social interactions and may also foster identity development, according to a study published February 2017 in Frontiers in Psychology .

How Your Relationships Affect Your Health

Relationships can affect our emotional, mental, and physical health in profound ways. ”Our social world is a critical and overlooked part of health,” Dr. Harding says. “From the moment we’re born, healthy relationships help us survive and thrive.”

Research has shown positive relationships can have the following benefits:

  • Reduce Stress A  study published May 2018 in Genus noted social relationships can act as a buffer to lessen the effects of stressful life events.
  • Keep You Healthy A  study published May 2016 in the Association for Psychological Science found increased sociability decreased the likelihood of developing a cold.
  • Help You Live Longer Previous research found stronger social relationships reduced risk of earlier death by 50 percent.
  • Improve Well-Being Previous research found friendships can help people learn, grow, explore, achieve goals, cultivate new talents, and find purpose and meaning in life.

The flip side — not having relationships — can also negatively impact your health. According to the  National Institutes of Health (NIH) , loneliness can lead to depression, poor health, and an increased risk of early death.

But you probably don’t need studies to tell you about the benefits of healthy relationships — you likely know this from experience. “Just think about how good it feels to have a friend’s supportive hand on your shoulder, a hug from a loved one, or a good laugh with a friend over a lousy situation,” Harding says.

When Relationships Are Not Good for Your Health

Not all relationships are healthy.

What Is a Toxic Relationship?

Some relationships are toxic , which involves an unhealthy cycle of communication that’s not always deliberate, Leader says.

According to DomesticShelters.org , a site from the nonprofit Theresa’s Fund that spreads awareness on domestic violence, a toxic relationship is one that leans unhealthy for some reason, such as if boundaries aren’t being respected or there’s a lack of respect in general. It doesn’t mean that abuse is present, but it can escalate into an abusive relationship.

Sometimes people exhibit toxic behaviors when they’re going through a tough time, Aasmundsen-Fry says. They can also be more common among those who had unhealthy relationships in early life, according to the NIH.

In toxic relationships, one might start lying or picking fights with their partner even though they do not intend to have power or control over them, Aasmundsen-Fry says.

What Is an Abusive Relationship?

Abusive relationships, on the other hand, do involve one person trying to remain in control and with power in the relationship, according to  Planned Parenthood . These relationships feature abuse in some capacity: physical, sexual, verbal, or emotional. When a romantic partner is involved, the abuse is called domestic or intimate partner violence, which involves a partner exhibiting behaviors where they try to control or have power over the other person.

Typically, the person being abused will be forced by the abuser to withdraw from friends and family.“This is usually done to keep the abused person isolated and easier to manipulate,” Aasmundsen-Fry says.

Other Ways a Relationship Can Be Unhealthy

Maybe you’re in a relationship that’s not necessarily toxic or abusive, but you’re not benefiting from it. “I would consider these relationships as one-directional or uneven,” Aasmundsen-Fry says, adding that’s more of a way of characterizing the relationship than a clinical term. “Often these occur when both people have misaligned goals or one person is more committed to the relationship or emotionally available. It usually leaves one or both people feeling disappointed as their needs are not met.”

Wondering if you’re in an unhealthy relationship? Foundry BC , an organization from the British Columbia government focused on wellness, suggests asking yourself these questions to determine if it’s healthy or not. These questions were written to assess a romantic relationship, but many apply to other relationships as well:

  • Do I feel safe with my partner?
  • Can I be myself around this person?
  • Can I tell them how I really feel?
  • Do we listen to one another’s concerns?
  • Do I trust them?
  • Is the power balance equal?
  • Does my partner support me?
  • Do they try things I like?
  • Do I feel good about myself when I’m with them?
  • Am I happy in the relationship?

4 Tips for Fostering Healthier Relationships

To build and grow healthier relationships, consider the following tips:

  • Be present. “Your attention — especially in the small moments of everyday life — is the greatest gift you can give another human being,” Harding says. “When you are in person, please put away your phone, make eye contact, and just be present.”
  • Be clear about what you need. “Don’t make your partner or peer guess — it sets you both up to fail,” Aasmundsen-Fry says.
  • Offer gratitude. “A thoughtful thank you note, text, small gift, or action can delight and surprise others,” Harding says. “Even a text message saying, ‘I’m thinking of you and am so glad you are a part of my life,’ can make a difference.”
  • Consider therapy. “If you have had a difficult history of relationships, take some time in therapy to understand your attachment struggles and how to operate in a healthier manner in relationships,” Aasmundsen-Fry says. “It is very helpful to understand the ways you unconsciously act or are triggered in relationships and to be empowered to choose differently.”

Planned Parenthood also suggests it’s important to love yourself, support one another, give each other some space when needed, and forgive and ask for forgiveness when needed.

Editorial Sources and Fact-Checking

Everyday Health follows strict sourcing guidelines to ensure the accuracy of its content, outlined in our editorial policy . We use only trustworthy sources, including peer-reviewed studies, board-certified medical experts, patients with lived experience, and information from top institutions.

  • 5 Benefits of Healthy Relationships. Northwestern Medicine . September 2021.
  • Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships. The University of Alabama .
  • Mercedes Gómez-López M, Viejo C, Ortega-Ruiz R. Well-Being and Romantic Relationships: A Systematic Review in Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health . July 2019.
  • Parent-Child Relationship — Why It’s Important. ParentingIN .
  • Sidhu S. The Importance of Siblings.  The University of New Mexico Health Sciences . January 7, 2019.
  • Friendships: Enrich Your Life and Improve Your Health. Mayo Clinic . January 12, 2022.
  • Step 3: What Makes a Mentoring Relationship Successful? Yale University .
  • Parasocial Relationships: The Nature of Celebrity Fascinations. National Register of Health Service Psychologists .
  • Building Social Bonds. National Institutes of Health . April 2018.
  • What Makes a Relationship Unhealthy? Planned Parenthood .
  • 10 Questions to Ask Yourself to Make Sure You’re in a Healthy Relationship. FoundryBC .
  • Healthy Relationships. Planned Parenthood .
  • Holt-Lunstad J, Smith TB, Layton JB. Social Relationships and Mortality Risk: A Meta-Analytic Review. PLoS Medicine . July 27, 2010.
  • Cohen S, Doyle WJ, Skoner DP, et al. Sociability and Susceptibility to the Common Cold. Association for Psychological Science . May 6, 2016.
  • Amati V, Meggiolaro S, Rivellini G, et al. Social Relations and Life Satisfaction: The Role of Friends. Genus . May 4, 2018.
  • Feeney BC, Collins NL. A New Look at Social Support: A Theoretical Perspective on Thriving Through Relationships. Society for Personality and Social Psychology . August 14, 2014.
  • Gleason TR, Theran SA, Newberg EM. Adolescence. Frontiers in Psychology . February 2017.
  • Kippert A. Signs of a Toxic Relationship. DomesticShelters.org . December 27, 2021.

Advertisement

The 14 most important characteristics of healthy relationships.

Vishnu Subramaniam

A healthy relationshi p is one that adds to both people's overall well-being, fueled by communication, respect, and boundaries . For a relationship to be healthy, it requires more than just shared interests and strong feelings for each other. It requires two people who truly understand and care for each other, while also caring for themselves.

Here are the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship:

You respect each other

Respect is one of the most important characteristics of a healthy relationship. Once the chase is over, some people can forget about tending to their partner's feelings and needs. In lasting, healthy relationships, partners value each other and take care with their words, actions, and behaviors. If you want to be with that person each day, make them feel that way. Likewise, you should receive this care from your partner day in and day out.

You're vulnerable with each other

Good communication is a necessary quality of a healthy relationship. If you're not willing to share what's going on with you or what you need from your partner, you're not going to get what you need. Yet people—out of shame or a habit built over a lifetime of bottling up our feelings—don't want to let anyone else in on what's going on with us. If you can trust your partner enough to share your feelings, you're more likely to find yourself in a safe relationship that lasts.

RELATED: How Lack Of Communication Can Sneakily Ruin Relationships

You have total trust in each other

Healthy relationships require trust. You have to be willing to trust your partner not only with your feelings but with your weaknesses. You will have to learn trust at the emotional, physical, and spiritual level. Trust takes practice and is earned one step at a time. Even when trust is broken , you can find a way to repair a breach in trust if you're willing to work on it.

You both maintain unwavering honesty

In a healthy relationship, you have to be willing to share what's going on, no matter how ugly. You can't hide behind lies and deception if you want your relationship to last. If you can't believe your partner when they tell you something, or if your partner is hiding things from you, it's going to be hard for you to feel safe. Honesty helps foster trust and a belief in each other, which is crucial to making it over the long haul. (Here's what open and honest communication in a relationship looks like.)

There's mutual empathy

Another key quality of a healthy relationship is empathy . Empathy means trying to understand what your partner is feeling. It isn't about trying to fix your partner's concerns and problems, necessarily, but about being able to be there for them. If you can pay more attention to what's going on with your partner and strive to see things through their eyes, you will find yourself getting closer over time rather than more distant.

You both prioritize kindness

Do all the things for your partner that you would do for your best friend. Try to anticipate their needs. Think about what they need help with and try to be there for them. Cut out the behavior that gets on their nerves, and find ways to uplift your partner. Thoughtfulness, consideration, and kindness is the recipe for healthy relationships.

You respect each other's boundaries

It's important not to forget that you're two separate people with separate needs, including some needs that you may not share. You will not agree on everything, and sometimes you may not want the same things. It's important to respect these differences and not push each other's boundaries , including emotional boundaries, physical boundaries, and any other types of boundaries . Boundaries are a necessary characteristic of a healthy relationship.

You're both totally committed

You have to be committed to your partner, yes. But more than commitment to your partner, you have to be committed to the relationship. If you think about the health and future of the relationship instead of just your own, you're likely to take more constructive actions and behave differently. It's not just about getting your needs met. It's about replenishing the fire so your relationship can last. That's what a healthy relationship is all about.

You're both thoughtful

Thoughtfulness is a characteristic of a healthy relationship that often gets overlooked because it can be hard to articulate. Essentially, thoughtfulness means keeping your partner in mind and striving to do things that will make their lives better. It's knowing their preferences, opinions, and quirks so you're able to dance with them, not fight them with. The better you know your partner, the more you can practice thoughtfulness. What can you do today to help them or improve their lives? What can you do today to make your partner's day?

You can forgive each other

Any partner will have qualities, characteristics, and behaviors that push your buttons. To make your relationship last, you have to accept your partner unconditionally—quirks, behavior, flaws, and all.

Likewise, you will sometimes feel hurt throughout a relationship because we're all humans who make mistakes. The key is to forgive quickly, let go of grudges, and start over each day. Yes, this is easier said than done, but forgiveness is crucial to the long-term health of the relationship. You have to let go of trespasses and also be willing to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness takes courage, vulnerability, and practice.

Of course, forgiveness doesn't mean being a pushover or accepting mistreatment from your partner. There are many signs of an abusive relationship that aren't physical to be aware of. In a healthy relationship, you first you make the commitment to accept them completely. Then, you speak up and say what it is that's bothering you. If hurtful actions continue, it may be a sign you should break up .

RELATED: Unconditional Love: How To Give It & Know If It's Healthy

You're gentle with each other

Gentleness comes through in thoughts, words, actions, and your general state of being. It's understanding and accepting your partner completely and treating them delicately. It's not yelling, not name-calling, and not being verbally or emotionally harsh with each other.

Gentleness is treating your partner in a respectful, kind, and compassionate way. It's recognizing your soulful connection and appreciating their inherent humanness.

There's a lot of affection

After some time in relationships, we often forget to show love and affection toward our partners. But affection is a key quality of a healthy relationship. It's the stuff that make relationships great.

Affection can be as simple as touching, holding, or kissing your partner for no reason at all. It's a warm embrace, a light touch, a loving word, or any other small way you can show your partner that you love them.

To be most affectionate, you have to know how your partner receives love best and do more of that. Is it a loving word, a thoughtful gesture, help around the house, or doing something special for them? The better you know what your partner enjoys, the more affectionate you can be.

The love languages quiz can help you figure out how you and your partner can most effectively show your love to each other.

You consistently appreciate each other

Gratitude is another key quality of a healthy relationship. We all take our partners for granted sometimes. If you can regularly remind yourself how lucky you are and how valuable your partner is, and tell them so, you will boost the happiness and longevity of your relationship. Partners who stay together appreciate each other and compliment each other. Recognize what your partner is doing, and let them know that you're thankful for it.

You both feel validated by the other

Most of the time, people don't really understand us. Everyone has different opinions, and needing to always be right can negatively affect your relationship. Validating your partner shows them that you're on their side. When you understand and accept what they say, they feel fully seen, heard, and accepted. It's acknowledging what your partner is saying to you and showing them that you get them—you understand what they're saying and experiencing. When you validate, you accept. And when you accept, you show unconditional love , which is ultimately what keeps people and relationships together in the long run.

Now that you know the characteristics, here are some tips on how to have a healthy relationship .

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10 Pillars of a Strong Relationship

Your performance evaluation at work comes in, and it’s glowing. However, there’s one area that “needs improvement.” Days later, which part do you think about?

The negative, of course. Part of you knows it’s ridiculous to let that one thing bother you. After all, there’s a lot more good in there than bad, but you can’t seem to help it.

Unfortunately, we do the same thing in our romantic relationships. We all have a negativity bias , or tendency to focus on the bad aspects of experiences. This makes us more critical of our relationship than we should be. Along the way, we take the good times for granted and they become an under-appreciated part of our partnership. But the problems? They stand out. Our partner’s insensitive comments, moods, and messiness regularly capture our full attention.

what is a healthy relationship essay

Mix this into a relationship that has lost a bit of its spark, and it can be hard to notice anything other than the problems. As Daniel Kahneman describes in Thinking, Fast and Slow , we tend to only see what’s right in front of us and overlook what’s not there at the moment. When problems are all that you see, it feels like that’s all your relationship is.

In fact, we have such a strong tendency to pick up on the bad stuff that we may even manufacture problems that don’t exist. A study published in Science suggests that if our relationship doesn’t have any major issues, we’re more likely to take what once would have been considered a small issue and feel it’s more problematic.

When we spend our time worrying about the wrong things, we don’t have time to appreciate what’s going right. Not only does this mean our view of the relationship is skewed, but it also means we’re missing out on a meaningful opportunity. While working on problems is one way to improve a long-term relationship, it’s just as important to reflect on your partner’s good qualities and the positive aspects of your connection.

The pillars of healthy relationships

To shift your perspective, start by paying more attention to the facets of your relationship that are stable, consistent, and comfortable. Those peaceful, drama-free, status-quo elements are easy to forget, but they’re sources of strength.

Below are 10 key pillars of healthy relationships that research suggests are key to a satisfying, lasting bond. Many of these are likely present in your own relationship; you just need to pause and take notice.

1. You can be yourself. You and your partner accept each other for who you are; you don’t try to change each other. You can simply be yourself and show your true identity without worrying if your partner will judge you. That’s helpful because research shows that partners who accept each other tend to be more satisfied with their relationships. 

2. You are BFFs. In many ways, your romantic partner is your best friend, and you’re theirs. That’s good news because research suggests that romantic partners who emphasize friendship tend to be more committed and experience more sexual gratification. Romantic relationships that value friendship emphasize emotional support, intimacy, affection, and maintaining a strong bond. They also focus on meeting needs related to caregiving, security, and companionship. 

3. You feel comfortable and close. Getting close to someone isn’t always easy. But in your relationship, you’ve worked through that and are quite comfortable sharing feelings, relying on each other, and being emotionally intimate. Even if vulnerability can be challenging at times, you’ve learned to trust your partner and find it brings you closer. You no longer put up emotional walls and don’t constantly worry about your partner leaving, which provides a sense of stability . 

4. You’re more alike than different. You and your partner have a lot in common, and key areas of similarity may help make your relationship more satisfying , new research suggests. Sure, the differences stand out, but beyond those few contrasts, you’re similar in a lot of ways. For example, your partner may enjoy superhero movies while you enjoy rom-coms. Though that feels like a major contrast, you’re both homebodies who enjoy making a meal together then crashing on the couch to watch TV shows where you can debate others’ life choices, make fun of awkward dialogue, and try to guess the next plot twist. Ultimately, you have a lot more in common than you have differences.

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5. You feel like a team. Words matter. When you talk, do you often use words like “we,” “us,” and “our?” If someone asks, “What’s your favorite show to binge-watch?,” do you reply with, “We have started watching Schitt’s Creek ”? That use of “we” shows a strong sense of cognitive closeness, or shared identity, in your relationship. Research suggests that couples who are interconnected like this tend to be more satisfied and committed . 

6. They make you a better person. Your partner helps you refine and improve who you are. Here, your partner doesn’t take charge and tell you how to change, but rather supports your choices for self-growth . Together, you seek out new and interesting experiences that contribute to a feeling of self-development. According to relationship researchers, when you expand and grow as a person, your relationship does, too .

7. You share the power. While partners may have their areas of expertise (for example, one handles lawn care, while the other does interior decorating), partners often share decision making, power, and influence in the relationship. When both partners have a say, relationships are stronger, more satisfied, and more likely to last . And, unsurprisingly, couples are happier when they feel the division of labor in their relationship is fair. 

8. They’re fundamentally good. What do people want in a spouse? It’s surprisingly simple: someone who is reliable, warm, kind, fair, trustworthy, and intelligent . Though these traits aren’t flashy and may not immediately come to mind when creating your partner wish list, they provide the foundation for a resilient relationship. Research suggests that when partners have agreeable and emotionally stable personalities, they tend to be more satisfied in their relationship. 

9. You trust each other. We need to be able to rely on our partner, which comes from a sense of trust. Not only do we trust our partner with the password to our phone, or with access to our bank account, we know that our partner always has our best interests in mind and will be there for us when we need them. Research suggests this is a positive cycle : Trust encourages greater commitment, which encourages greater trust.

10. You don’t have serious issues. There are problems, and then there are PROBLEMS. Sometimes it’s easy to forget about all of the problems and major red flags we don’t have to deal with. “Dark side” issues like disrespect, cheating, jealousy, and emotional or physical abuse are relationship killers. Sometimes, the light can come from the absence of dark.

Spend a few moments reflecting on how each of these apply to your own relationship. At this point, you may want to give yourself some kind of score to affirm your relationship is in good shape. How many of those 10 pillars do you have? How many do you lack? But that’s not really the point. Chances are, your relationship has elements of all 10. The key is to do a better job of noticing and, where needed, cultivating these foundational areas. Often, strengthening these pillars is as simple as savoring everything in your relationship that works. There’s a lot there when you know what to look for. 

Hopefully, you’ve also noticed areas of strength that aren’t on this list. That’s great, because this list is by no means comprehensive. More importantly, it shows you’re starting to notice more of what works, and not obsessing about what’s broken. 

Of course, you shouldn’t use a few positives to justify staying in a bad relationship. Focusing on strengths is only helpful for those in good relationships looking to make them better. Good relationships are built on mutual respect, love, and friendship between equals.

The lesson here also isn’t to pretend like your relationship doesn’t have issues. Rather, it’s a lot easier to fix those problems when you appreciate how much of your relationship is already going well. Relationships are difficult enough without making them any harder. When you’re only shedding light on what’s wrong, it’s easy to buy into the mistaken belief that your relationship is in trouble. But when you stop taking the good for granted, and give your partner and relationship more credit, you may realize that your relationship is stronger than you think.

About the Author

Headshot of Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr.

Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D. , is the author of Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship…and How to See Past Them . He is also an award-winning teacher, researcher, relationship expert, and professor at Monmouth University.

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The Science Behind Happy Relationships

W hen it comes to relationships , most of us are winging it. We’re exhilarated by the early stages of love , but as we move onto the general grind of everyday life, personal baggage starts to creep in and we can find ourselves floundering in the face of hurt feelings, emotional withdrawal, escalating conflict, insufficient coping techniques and just plain boredom. There’s no denying it: making and keeping happy and healthy relationships is hard.

But a growing field of research into relationships is increasingly providing science-based guidance into the habits of the healthiest, happiest couples — and how to make any struggling relationship better. As we’ve learned, the science of love and relationships boils down to fundamental lessons that are simultaneously simple, obvious and difficult to master: empathy, positivity and a strong emotional connection drive the happiest and healthiest relationships.

Maintaining a strong emotional connection

“The most important thing we’ve learned, the thing that totally stands out in all of the developmental psychology, social psychology and our lab’s work in the last 35 years is that the secret to loving relationships and to keeping them strong and vibrant over the years, to falling in love again and again, is emotional responsiveness,” says Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist in Ottawa and the author of several books, including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love .

That responsiveness, in a nutshell, is all about sending a cue and having the other person respond to it. “The $99 million question in love is, ‘Are you there for me?’” says Johnson. “It’s not just, ‘Are you my friend and will you help me with the chores?’ It’s about emotional synchronicity and being tuned in.”

“Every couple has differences,” continues Johnson. “What makes couples unhappy is when they have an emotional disconnection and they can’t get a feeling of secure base or safe haven with this person.” She notes that criticism and rejection — often met with defensiveness and withdrawal — are exceedingly distressing, and something that our brain interprets as a danger cue.

To foster emotional responsiveness between partners, Johnson pioneered Emotionally Focused Therapy , in which couples learn to bond through having conversations that express needs and avoid criticism. “Couples have to learn how to talk about feelings in ways that brings the other person closer,” says Johnson.

Keeping things positive

According to Carrie Cole, director of research for the Gottman Institute , an organization dedicated to the research of marriage, emotional disengagement can easily happen in any relationship when couples are not doing things that create positivity. “When that happens, people feel like they’re just moving further and further apart until they don’t even know each other anymore,” says Cole. That focus on positivity is why the Gottman Institute has embraced the motto “small things often.” The Gottman Lab has been studying relationship satisfaction since the 1970s, and that research drives the Institute’s psychologists to encourage couples to engage in small, routine points of contact that demonstrate appreciation.

One easy place to start is to find ways to compliment your partner every day, says Cole — whether it’s expressing your appreciation for something they’ve done or telling them, specifically, what you love about them. This exercise can accomplish two beneficial things: First, it validates your partner and helps them feel good about themselves. And second, it helps to remind you why you chose that person in the first place.

Listen to the brain, not just your heart

When it comes to the brain and love, biological anthropologist and Kinsey Institute senior fellow Helen Fisher has found — after putting people into a brain scanner — that there are three essential neuro-chemical components found in people who report high relationship satisfaction: practicing empathy, controlling one’s feelings and stress and maintaining positive views about your partner.

In happy relationships, partners try to empathize with each other and understand each other’s perspectives instead of constantly trying to be right. Controlling your stress and emotions boils down to a simple concept: “Keep your mouth shut and don’t act out,” says Fisher. If you can’t help yourself from getting mad, take a break by heading out to the gym, reading a book, playing with the dog or calling a friend — anything to get off a destructive path. Keeping positive views of your partner, which Fisher calls “positive illusions,” are all about reducing the amount of time you spend dwelling on negative aspects of your relationship. “No partner is perfect, and the brain is well built to remember the nasty things that were said,” says Fisher. “But if you can overlook those things and just focus on what’s important, it’s good for the body, good for the mind and good for the relationship.”

Happier relationships, happier life

Ultimately, the quality of a person’s relationships dictates the quality of their life. “Good relationships aren’t just happier and nicer,” says Johnson. “When we know how to heal [relationships] and keep them strong, they make us resilient. All these clichés about how love makes us stronger aren’t just clichés; it’s physiology. Connection with people who love and value us is our only safety net in life.”

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Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship Essay

Introduction.

The most important ingredient for a healthy relationship is unwavering love. Love can be described as a feeling of cherishing and holding each other dearly and unconditionally. The prayer for everyone who is in, or intends to get into a relationship is that the relationship will be healthy and loving for as long as it takes. However, whether relationship will be healthy depends on the mutual commitment of the partners in building and maintaining the bond between them through loyalty, acceptance, communication, and appreciation among others. In building a healthy loving relationship, four key behavioral qualities must be entrenched; respect, trust, honest and caring.

Is essential as it shows concern for the other person’s wellbeing. It involves empathy and accommodation while appreciating the other person’s feelings and offering a shoulder to lean on. According to Wlliams (2006) care involves feeling that the happiness of the other person is more important than your own happiness. Offering support to the other partner at all times and in all endeavors enhances the bonding and creates a path for commitment of either partner in his/her role in the relationship. A healthy loving relationship depends on how well the couple is able to resolve conflicts as they arise in which case reflective listening is paramount. Identifying and solving, and expressing differences caringly is important to the couple’s wellbeing (Schaeffer 1997).

Is a feeling of confidence and faith with the other half that he/she can be relied upon without reservations. This means that, both partners should be committed to earning trust by appreciating each other and being morally upright with utmost value and dignity thus creating a sense of security to each other. In addition, spending time together and being consistent with amount of time spent together builds trust. For trust to prevail, their must be agreement between the partners which gives a sense of moral self integrity and dedication to either partner. Where agreement fails or breaks down, the relationship suffers from eroded trust and breakdown in communication, the remedy of which is to amend or institute a new agreement as soon as possible before the damage becomes worse.

Keeps the relationship intact as, apart from building trust, it ensures both partners engage in truth and meaningful communication with no intent to hurt each other whatsoever. Being honest with oneself also helps to be honest to the other partner. Even where problems are available, admitting their existence means being honest, which in turn acts as a step towards seeking solution. Openness with undistorted information whether negative or not, provided it is the truth is important to keep the relationship intact. Withholding the truth may become disastrous in future in case the truth is revealed in one way or another.

For each other tends to ensure that the values and feelings of either partner are appreciated and not compromised. This means that, both partners value, appreciate and understand each other and in the process tend to accommodate each other. Communication plays a vital role in establishing respect in that, the tone and level of command used influences the level of respect portrayed. Listening as twice as you speak and understanding other person’s boundaries helps to create respect and ignite the mutual bonding in the relationship.

In conclusion, the path to a healthy loving relationship is commitment by both partners to their roles and embodiment of love that is unconditional. In addition upholding the tenets of care, honesty trust and respect, not only shows willingness to foster love, but also enhances connectivity between partners.

Benokraitis, Nijole Vaicaitis. Marriages and families: changes, choices, and constraints. 2 nd Edition, 1996. NJ: Prentice Hall.

Schaeffer, Brenda. Is It Love or Is It Addiction. 2 nd Edition, 1997. MN: Hazelden Publishing.

Williams, Richard N. “Loving and Caring for Each Other”. Loving and Caring for Each Other. 2006. Web.

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IvyPanda. (2021, November 1). Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship. https://ivypanda.com/essays/creating-a-healthy-loving-relationship/

"Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship." IvyPanda , 1 Nov. 2021, ivypanda.com/essays/creating-a-healthy-loving-relationship/.

IvyPanda . (2021) 'Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship'. 1 November.

IvyPanda . 2021. "Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship." November 1, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/creating-a-healthy-loving-relationship/.

1. IvyPanda . "Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship." November 1, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/creating-a-healthy-loving-relationship/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "Creating a Healthy Loving Relationship." November 1, 2021. https://ivypanda.com/essays/creating-a-healthy-loving-relationship/.

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Why Personal Relationships Are Important

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Healthy relationships are a vital component of health and wellbeing. There is compelling evidence that strong relationships contribute to a long, healthy, and happy life. Conversely, the health risks from being alone or isolated in one's life are comparable to the risks associated with cigarette smoking, blood pressure, and obesity.

Research shows that healthy relationships can help you:

Live longer

A review of 148 studies found that people with strong social relationships are 50% less likely to die prematurely. Similarly, Dan Buettner’s Blue Zones research calculates that committing to a life partner can add 3 years to life expectancy (Researchers Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler have found that men’s life expectancy benefits from marriage more than women’s do.)

Deal with stress

The support offered by a caring friend can provide a buffer against the effects of stress . In a study of over 100 people, researchers found that people who completed a stressful task experienced a faster recovery when they were reminded of people with whom they had strong relationships. (Those who were reminded of stressful relationships, on the other hand, experienced even more stress and higher blood pressure.)

Be healthier

Research indicates that strong relationships contribute to health at any age. According to research by psychologist Sheldon Cohen, college students who reported having strong relationships were half as likely to catch a common cold when exposed to the virus, while an AARP study with older adults found that loneliness is a significant predictor of poor health. More generally, a 2012 international Gallup poll found that people who feel they have friends and family to count on are generally more satisfied with their personal health than people who feel isolated. 

Moreover, hanging out with healthy people increases your own likelihood of health—in their book Connected , Christakis and Fowler show that non-obese people are more likely to have non-obese friends because healthy habits spread through our social networks .

Feel richer

A survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that doubling your group of friends has the same effect on your wellbeing as a 50% increase in income!

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  • Depression. Loneliness has long been commonly associated with depression, and now research is backing this correlation up: a 2012 study of breast cancer patients found that those with fewer satisfying social connections experienced higher levels of depression , pain, and fatigue.
  • Decreased immune function. The authors of the same study also found a correlation between loneliness and immune system dysregulation, meaning that a lack of social connections can increase your chances of becoming sick.
  • Higher blood pressure . University of Chicago researchers who studied a group of 229 adults over five years found that loneliness could predict higher blood pressure even years later, indicating that the effects of isolation have long-lasting consequences.

According to psychiatrists Jacqueline Olds and Richard Schwartz, social alienation is an inevitable result of contemporary society's preoccupation with materialism and frantic "busy-ness." Their decades of research supports the idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical, emotional, and spiritual health. The research is clear and devastating: isolation is fatal.

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Relationships and healing

In this video, Michael discusses how relationships with family, friends, and community have provided healing after his diagnosis of brain cancer. 

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According to Dr. James Martin from the Academy of Family Physicians, families establish patterns of preventive care, exercise, hygiene, and responsibility, and they set the foundation for self-worth, resilience, and the ability to form healthy and caring relationships. 

Families who balance their time more effectively have better overall relationships, and consequently better health.

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Learn more with Wellbeing U

Wellbeing U, one of our free online learning platforms, offers a course on growing your relationship with Jen Elmquist, licensed family therapist and author of  Relationship Reset .

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http://www.bluezones.com/

http://www.gallup.com/poll/152738/Social-Support-Linked-Health-Satisfaction-Worldwide.aspx

AARP.  (2010).  Loneliness Among Older Adults.  Retrieved Aug., 2017 from   http://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/research/surveys_statistics/general/2012/loneliness_2010.pdf 

Carlisle, M., Uchino, B.N., Sanbonmatsu, D.M., Smith, T.W., Cribbet, M.R., Birmingham, W., Light, K.C., Vaughn, A.A. (2012). Subliminal activation of social ties moderates cardiovascular reactivity during acute stress. Health Psychology;31(2):217-25.

Christakis, N.A., Fowler, J. (2009). Connected. New York: Hatchette Book Group.

Cohen, S., Doyle, W.J., Turner, R., Alper, C.M., Skoner, D.P. (2003). Sociability and susceptibility to the common cold. Psychological Science;14(5):389-95.

Hawkley, L.C., Cacioppo, J.T. (2007). Aging and loneliness: Downhill quickly? Current Directions in Psychological Science; 16: 187–191.

Hawkley, L.C., Thisted, R.A., Masi, C.M., Cacioppo, J.T. (2010). Loneliness predicts increased blood pressure: Five-year cross-lagged analyses in middle-aged and older adults. Psychol Aging; 25: 132–141.

Helliwell, J.F., Huang, H. (2013). Comparing the happiness effects of real and on-line friends. National Bureau of Economic Research. Working paper 18690. Retrieved from http://www.nber.org/papers/w18690.pdf .

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., & Layton, J. B. (2010). Social relationships and mortality risk: A meta-analytic review. PLoS Medicine, 7 (7), e1000316.  

Holt-Lunstad, J., et al.  (2015). Loneliness and Social Isolation as Risk Factors for Mortality: A Meta-Analytic Review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237                                              

Jaremka, L.M., Fagundes, C.P., Glaser, R., Bennett, J.M., Malarkey, W.B., Kiecolt-Glaser, J.K. (2012). Loneliness predicts pain, depression, and fatigue: Understanding the role of immune dysregulation. Psychoneuroendocrinology; pii: S0306-4530(12)00403-9. doi: 10.1016/j.psyneuen.2012.11.016. [Epub ahead of print].

Olds, J., Schwartz, R. (2010). The lonely American: Drifting apart in the twenty-first century . Boston, MA: Beacon Press.

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Essays About Love and Relationships: Top 5 Examples

Love, romance, and relationships are just as complicated and messy as they are fascinating. Read our guide on essays about love and relationships.

We, as humans, are social beings. Humanity is inclined towards living with others of our kind and forming relationships with them. Love, whether in a romantic context or otherwise, is essential to a strong relationship with someone. It can be used to describe familial, friendly, or romantic relationships; however, it most commonly refers to romantic partners. 

Love and relationships are difficult to understand, but with effort, devotion, and good intentions, they can blossom into something beautiful that will stay with you for life. This is why it is important to be able to discern wisely when choosing a potential partner.

5 Essay Examples

1. love and marriage by kannamma shanmugasundaram, 2. what my short-term relationships taught me about love and life by aaron zhu, 3. true love waits by christine barrett, 4. choosing the right relationship by robert solley, 5. masters of love by emily esfahani smith, 1. what is a healthy romantic relationship, 2. a favorite love story, 3. relationship experiences, 4. lessons relationships can teach you, 5. love and relationships in the 21st century, 6. is marriage necessary for true love.

“In successful love marriages, couples have to learn to look past these imperfections and remember the reasons why they married each other in the first place. They must be able to accept the fact that neither one of them is perfect. Successful love marriages need to set aside these superior, seemingly impossible expectations and be willing to compromise, settling for some good and some bad.”

Shanmugasundaram’s essay looks at marriage in Eastern Cultures, such as her Indian traditions, in which women have less freedom and are often forced into arranged marriages. Shanmugasundaram discusses her differing views with her parents over marriage; they prefer to stick to tradition while she, influenced by Western values, wants to choose for herself. Ultimately, she has compromised with her parents: they will have a say in who she marries, but it will be up to her to make the final decision. She will only marry who she loves. 

“There is no forever, I’ve been promised forever by so many exes that it’s as meaningless to me as a homeless person promising me a pot of gold. From here on out, I’m no longer looking for promises of forever, what I want is the promise that you’ll try your best and you’ll be worth it. Don’t promise me forever, promise me that there will be no regrets.”

In Zhu’s essay, he reflects on his lessons regarding love and relationships. His experiences with past partners have taught him many things, including self-worth and the inability to change others. Most interestingly, however, he believes that “forever” does not exist and that going into a relationship, they should commit to as long as possible, not “forever.” Furthermore, they should commit to making the relationship worthwhile without regret. 

“For life is a constant change, love is the greatest surprise, friendship is your best defense, maturity comes with responsibility and death is just around the corner, so, expect little, assume nothing, learn from your mistakes, never fail to have faith that true love waits, take care of your friends, treasure your family, moderate your pride and throw up all hatred for God opens millions of flowers without forcing the buds, reminding us not to force our way but to wait for true love to happen perfectly in His time.”

Barrett writes about how teenagers often feel the need to be in a relationship or feel “love” as soon as possible. But unfortunately, our brains are not fully matured in our teenage years, so we are more likely to make mistakes. Barrett discourages teenagers from dating so early; she believes that they should let life take its course and enjoy life at the moment. Her message is that they shouldn’t be in a rush to grow up, for true love will come to those who are patient. You might also be interested in these essays about commitment and essays about girlfriends .

“A paucity of common interests gets blamed when relationships go south, but they are rarely the central problem. Nonetheless, it is good to have some — mostly in terms of having enough in common that there are things that you enjoy spending time doing together. The more important domains to consider are personality and values, and when it comes to personality, the key question is how does your potential partner handle stress.”

Solley, from a more psychological perspective, gives tips on how one can choose the ideal person to be in a relationship with. Love is a lifetime commitment, so much thought should be put into it. One should look at culture, values regarding spending money, and common interests. Solley believes that you should not always look for someone with the same interests, for what makes a relationship interesting is the partners’ differences and how they look past them. 

“There are two ways to think about kindness. You can think about it as a fixed trait: Either you have it or you don’t. Or you could think of kindness as a muscle. In some people, that muscle is naturally stronger than in others, but it can grow stronger in everyone with exercise. Masters tend to think about kindness as a muscle. They know that they have to exercise it to keep it in shape. They know, in other words, that a good relationship requires sustained hard work.”

Smith discusses research conducted over many years that explains the different aspects of a relationship, including intimacy, emotional strength, and kindness. She discusses kindness in-depth, saying that a relationship can test your kindness, but you must be willing to work to be kind if you love your partner. You might also be interested in these essays about divorce .

6 Writing Prompts On Essays About Love and Relationships

Essays About Love and Relationships: What is a healthy romantic relationship?

Everyone has a different idea of what makes a great relationship. For example, some prioritize assertiveness in their partner, while others prefer a calmer demeanor. You can write about different qualities and habits that a healthy, respectful relationship needs, such as quality time and patience. If you have personal experience, reflect on this as well; however, if you don’t, write about what you would hope from your future partner. 

Love and relationships have been an essential element in almost every literary work, movie, and television show; an example of each would be Romeo and Juliet , The Fault in Our Stars , and Grey’s Anatomy . Even seemingly unrelated movies, such as the Star Wars and Lord of the Rings franchises, have a romantic component. Describe a love story of your choice; explain its plot, characters, and, most importantly, how the theme of love and relationships is present. 

If you have been in a romantic relationship before, or if you are in one currently, reflect on your experience. Why did you pursue this relationship? Explore your relationship’s positive and negative sides and, if applicable, how it ended. If not, write about how you will try and prevent the relationship from ending.

All our experiences in life form us, relationships included. In your essay, reflect on ways romantic relationships can teach you new things and make you better; consider values such as self-worth, patience, and positivity. Then, as with the other prompts, use your personal experiences for a more interesting essay. Hou might find our guide on how to write a vow helpful.

How love, romance, and relationships are perceived has changed dramatically in recent years; from the nuclear family, we have seen greater acceptance of same-sex relationships, blended families, and relationships with more than two partners—research on how the notion of romantic relationships has changed and discuss this in your essay. 

Essays About Love and Relationships: Is marriage necessary for true love?

More and more people in relationships are deciding not to get married. For a strong argumentative essay, discuss whether you agree with the idea that true love does not require marriage, so it is fine not to get married in the first place. Research the arguments of both sides, then make your claim. 

Check out our guide packed full of transition words for essays . If you’re still stuck, check out our general resource of essay writing topics .

what is a healthy relationship essay

Martin is an avid writer specializing in editing and proofreading. He also enjoys literary analysis and writing about food and travel.

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Building and maintaining healthy relationships

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  • Healthy relationships improve your life and make you feel happier.
  • Healthy relationships take time to build and need work to keep them healthy.
  • Respect, trust, honesty and emotional support are signs of a healthy relationship.
  • It is normal to have ups and downs in a relationship.
  • A relationship is not healthy if it is abusive or violent.

What is a healthy relationship?

Healthy relationships are good for you. Supportive and loving relationships are more likely to make you feel happy and satisfied. A healthy relationship with your partner and family members can improve your life, wellbeing and make everyone feel good about themselves.

Healthy relationships don't happen on their own. They take time to build and need work to keep them healthy. The more positive effort you put into a relationship, the healthier it should be.

What are the signs of a healthy relationship?

People in healthy relationships love and support each other. They help each other practically, as well as emotionally. They are there for each other in the good times as well as the bad times.

Healthy relationships are commonly based on:

  • respect, honesty and trust
  • open communication
  • both shared and individual interests
  • understanding
  • shared values around finances, child raising and other important matters

What are the benefits of healthy relationships?

People who have healthy relationships are more likely to feel happy and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to have physical and mental health problems.

Healthy relationships can:

  • increase your sense of worth, belonging and help you feel less alone
  • give you confidence
  • help you overcome difficult times in your life

What is communication in a healthy relationship?

People who are in a healthy relationship talk and listen to each other regularly and effectively.

Misunderstandings can happen, and that can lead to people being upset, hurt or confused.

When communicating make sure you:

  • Remain clear about what you want to say.
  • Make a real effort to understand what the other person is saying.
  • Double-check that you have understood correctly.

Loving each other doesn't necessarily mean you know what the other person is thinking or that you will be able to communicate well.

To have more open communication in your relationship you can:

  • Set aside time to speak to each other without interruptions.
  • Kiss and hug your partner and make eye contact when you communicate.
  • Truly listen to each other.
  • Talk about things honestly and respectfully.
  • Talk about what is happening in your lives — both the small and big things.
  • Tell your partner what you want and need, and discuss if you have different opinions.

Communication is not just talking. Non-verbal communication, including your posture, tone of voice and facial expressions can tell the other person how you feel.

Non-verbal communication can even be stronger than what you're saying, if your behaviour doesn't match your words.

How can I maintain healthy relationships?

Maintaining healthy relationships is important and takes time and commitment. No relationship is perfect, but it is important that relationships brings you more happiness than stress .

Here are some tips for a healthy relationship.

  • Be clear about what you want — It helps you make your point clearly and honestly while respecting the other person's point of view. Try using 'I' statements instead of critical 'you' statements. For example, say 'I really hate it when you don't clean up the dishes” rather than 'You never help me in the kitchen”.
  • Say sorry when you're wrong — This is really important, as it helps heal relationships and make them stronger.
  • Be affectionate and show appreciation — Relationships can become routine after a while. Make special time together and continue to show your affection. Even just snuggling on the couch after work helps show intimacy.
  • Make your relationship a priority — It can be hard to balance relationships, work, family and friends. You can help establish a work-life balance by setting limits at work and learning to say 'no”. This will ensure you make time for your relationship.
  • Find shared interests — Finding hobbies you both enjoy allows you to spend time together. This could be as simple as doing a night class together or taking up a new sport.
  • Find solutions that work for both of you — Conflict occasionally occurs in any relationship. It is essential that you both respect and accept your differences and similarities. Finding solutions that work for both of you will probably require compromise at different times.
  • Make time for family time — Finding time together as a family can be difficult. However, even one family meal a week gives everyone a chance to catch up, connect and communicate with each other.

Are you having relationship issues?

It is normal to have ups and downs in a relationship. It is also normal to have different opinions. Both relationships and people change over time.

Your relationship is an unhealthy relationship if one partner has more power than another, or if one partner is abusive or violent .

When a relationship ends

The end of a relationship can be a very painful time. It may take 2 years or more for people whose long-term relationship has ended to recover and to put their lives together again. Some people develop serious health and emotional problems during this time.

If you, or someone you know, is in immediate danger of hurting themselves or others, call triple zero (000).

Resources and support

If you would like to talk to someone about your relationship, here are some organisations that can help:

  • Lifeline (anyone having a personal crisis) — call 13 11 14 or chat online.
  • MensLine Australia (online counselling and forum for men) — call 1300 78 99 78 .
  • Relationships Australia provides support groups and relationship counselling, including for people in an abusive relationship — call 1300 364 277 .

Looking for information for Aboriginal and/or Torres Strait Islander people?

Relationship Australia offers Aboriginal community support.

Do you prefer to read in languages other than English?

Peace multicultural services have resources and support for people from diverse language and cultural backgrounds to lead healthy lives.

Learn more here about the development and quality assurance of healthdirect content .

Last reviewed: February 2024

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6 Types of Relationships and Their Effect on Your Life

Relationships come in many forms—and not all of them are healthy

Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

what is a healthy relationship essay

Dr. Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, is a licensed clinical psychologist and a professor at Yeshiva University’s clinical psychology doctoral program.

what is a healthy relationship essay

Verywell / Laura Porter

What Is a Relationship?

Basic types of relationships, defining types of relationships in your life.

  • Keeping Your Relationships Healthy

You'll have many different types of relationships throughout your life. Most tend to be categorized as acquaintances, friends, family, romantic partners, sexual partners, work colleagues, or situational relationships. Each type comes with different expectations, benefits, and challenges.

Interpersonal relationships are a vital part of life. They can range from close and intimate to distant and challenging. No matter the nature of the relationship, different types of relationships help form the social support network that is pivotal for physical and mental well-being.

At a Glance

We make all kinds of connections with other people over the course of our lives. Some of these are positive relationships that help us feel a sense of belonging. Others can be less helpful, or may even have negative effects on our mental health and well-being. To better understand and discuss these relationships accurately, it can be helpful to learn more about the different types of relationships a person can have. 

A relationship is any connection between two people, which can be either positive or negative.

You can have a relationship with a wide range of people, including family and friends. The phrase "being in a relationship," while often linked with romantic relationships, can refer to various associations one person has with another.

To "be in a relationship" doesn't always mean there is physical intimacy, emotional attachment, and/or commitment involved. People engage in many different types of relationships that have unique characteristics.

Relationships typically fall into one of several different categories (although these can sometimes overlap):

  • Family relationships
  • Friendships
  • Acquaintances
  • Romantic relationships
  • Sexual relationships
  • Work relationships
  • Situational relationships (sometimes called " situationships ")

These different forms of relationships can vary greatly in terms of closeness, and there are also different subtypes of relationships within each of these basic types. Some of the different kinds of relationships that you might experience at some point in your life include the following.

While there are many different types of relationships, the four main types are typically identified as family relationships, romantic relationships, friendships, and acquaintanceships.

Platonic Relationships

A platonic relationship is a type of friendship that involves a close, intimate bond without sex or romance. These relationships tend to be characterized by:

  • Understanding

Platonic relationships can occur in a wide range of settings and can involve same-sex or opposite-sex friendships. You might form a platonic relationship with a classmate or co-worker, or you might make a connection with a person in another setting such as a club, athletic activity, or volunteer organization you are involved in.

This type of relationship can play an essential role in providing social support, which is essential for your health and well-being. Research suggests that platonic friendships can help reduce your risk for disease, lower your risk for depression or anxiety, and boost your immunity.

Platonic relationships involve closeness and friendship without sex. Sometimes, platonic relationships can change over time and shift into romantic or sexual relationships. Examples might include a friends-with-benefits or a friends-to-lovers situation.

Romantic Relationships

Romantic relationships are those characterized by feelings of love and attraction for another person. While romantic love can vary, it often involves feelings of infatuation, intimacy, and commitment. 

Experts have come up with a variety of different ways to describe how people experience and express love. For example, psychologist Robert Sternberg suggests three main components of love: passion, intimacy, and decision/commitment. Romantic love, he explains, is a combination of passion and intimacy.

Romantic relationships tend to change over time. At the start of a relationship when people are first falling in love , people typically experience stronger feelings of passion. During this initial infatuation period, the brain releases specific neurotransmitters ( dopamine , oxytocin , and serotonin ) that cause people to feel euphoric and "in love." 

Over time, these feelings start to lessen in their intensity. People develop deeper levels of emotional intimacy and understanding as the relationship matures.  

Romantic relationships often burn hot at the beginning. That's why we often feel like we can't stop thinking about the object of our affection and want to be near them all the time. While the initial feelings of passion usually lessen in strength over time, feelings of trust, emotional intimacy, and commitment grow stronger.

Codependent Relationships

A codependent relationship is an imbalanced, dysfunctional type of relationship in which a partner has an emotional, physical, or mental reliance on the other person.

It is also common for both partners to be mutually co-dependent on each other. Both may take turns enacting the caretaker role, alternating between the caretaker and the receiver of care.

Characteristics of a codependent relationship include:

  • Acting as a giver while the other person acts as a taker
  • Going to great lengths to avoid conflict with the other person
  • Feeling like you have to ask permission to do things
  • Having to save or rescue the other person from their own actions
  • Doing things to make someone happy, even if they make you uncomfortable
  • Feeling like you don't know who you are in the relationship
  • Elevating the other person even if they've done nothing to earn your goodwill and admiration

Not all codependent relationships are the same, however. They can vary in terms of severity. Codependency can impact all different types of relationships including relationships between romantic partners, parents and children, friendship, other family members, and even coworkers.

Codependent relationships are co-constructed. While one partner might seem more "needy," the other partner might feel more comfortable being needed.

Someone who feels more comfortable being needed, for instance, may avoid focusing on their own needs by choosing a partner who constantly needs them.

Casual Relationships

Casual relationships often involve dating relationships that may include sex without expectations of monogamy or commitment. However, experts suggest that the term is vague and can mean different things to different people. 

According to the authors of one study published in the Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality , casual relationships can encompass situations such as:

  • One-night stands
  • Booty calls
  • "Sex" buddies
  • Friends with benefits 

Such relationships often exist on a continuum that varies in the levels of frequency of contact, type of contact, amount of personal disclosure, discussion of the relationship, and degree of friendship. The study found that people with more sexual experience were better able to identify the definitions of these labels compared to people with less sexual experience.

Casual relationships are often common among young adults. As long as casual relationships are marked by communication and consent, they can have several sex-positive benefits. They can satisfy the need for sex, intimacy, connection, and companionship without the emotional demands and energy commitment of a more serious relationship.

Casual relationships tend to be more common among younger adults, but people of any age can engage in this type of relationship. Consent and communication are key.

Open Relationships

An open relationship is a type of consensually non-monogamous relationship in which one or more partners have sex or relationships with other people. Both people agree to have sex with other people in an open relationship but may have certain conditions or limitations.

Open relationships can take place in any type of romantic relationship, whether casual, dating, or married. 

There tends to be a stigma surrounding non-monogamous relationships. Still, research suggests that around 21% to 22% of adults will be involved in some type of open relationship at some point in their life.

The likelihood of engaging in an open relationship also depends on gender and sexual orientation. Men reported having higher numbers of open relationships compared to women; people who identify as gay, lesbian, and bisexual were more likely to report previous engagement in open relationships compared to those who identify as heterosexual.

Such relationships can have benefits, including increased sexual freedom, and pitfalls, such as jealousy and emotional pain. Open relationships are more successful when couples establish personal, emotional, and sexual boundaries and clearly communicate their feelings and needs.

Open relationships are a form of consensual non-monogamy. While there is a primary emotional and often physical connection between the two people in the relationship, they mutually agree to intimacy with other people outside of the relationship.

Toxic Relationships

A toxic relationship is any type of interpersonal relationship where your emotional, physical, or psychological well-being is undermined or threatened in some way. Such relationships often leave you feeling ashamed, humiliated, misunderstood, or unsupported.

Any type of relationship can be toxic, including friendships, family relationships, romantic relationships, or workplace relationships.

Signs of Toxic Types of Relationships

Toxic relationships are characterized by:

  • A lack of support
  • Competitiveness
  • Controlling behaviors
  • Gaslighting
  • Passive-aggressive behaviors
  • Poor communication

Sometimes all people in a relationship play a role in creating this toxicity. For example, you may be contributing to toxicity if you are all consistently unkind, critical, insecure, and negative.

In other cases, one person in a relationship may behave in ways that create toxic feelings. This may be intentional, but in other cases, people may not fully understand how they are affecting other people. Because of their past experiences with relationships, often in their home growing up, they may not know any other way of acting and communicating.

This doesn't just create discontentment—toxic relationships can take a serious toll on your health.

For example, according to one study, stress caused by negative relationships has a direct impact on cardiovascular health. Feeling isolated and misunderstood in a relationship can also lead to loneliness , which has been shown to have detrimental effects on both physical and mental health.

Toxic relationships can be stressful, harmful, and even abusive. If you are in a toxic relationship with someone in your life, work on creating strong boundaries to protect yourself. Talk to a mental health professional or consider terminating the relationship if it is causing you harm.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database .

How you define your relationship depends on various factors, including what matters to you and how the other person feels. To define your relationship, it can be helpful to ask a few questions:

  • Do you have romantic feelings for one another?
  • What does each person hope to get out of the relationship?
  • How much time do you want to spend together?
  • Where do you see the relationship going?
  • Are you currently involved with or want to be involved with other people?

Figuring out what matters to you and your partner is an important step in defining the type of relationships you are interested in having. You might find that you are both on the same page or discover that you want different things out of your relationship. 

Defining your relationship doesn't have to mean committing for the long term. Instead, it can be a way to help you both better understand the boundaries and expectations of your relationship.

How to Keep Different Types of Relationships Healthy

Regardless of how you define your relationship, there are important steps you can take to ensure that your connection is healthy. Strategies that can help include:

  • Showing appreciation and gratitude
  • Communicating openly and honestly
  • Being affectionate and showing that you care 
  • Mutual respect 
  • Actively listening
  • Showing interest in each other
  • Being supportive and encouraging
  • Feeling empathy for each other
  • Spending time together
  • Having healthy boundaries
  • Being trustworthy

Communication is often the single most important thing in a relationship. Good relationships are also marked by honesty, trust , and reciprocity . This doesn't mean that the relationship is purely transactional ; it indicates that you naturally engage in a give-and-take that provides mutually beneficial support.

No matter what type of relationship you have with another person(s), it is important for it to be a healthy one. Healthy relationships are characterized by trust, mutual respect, openness, honesty, and affection. Good communication is also a key factor.

You can take steps to improve your relationships with other people. Two helpful strategies are to let others know you care and show your appreciation. 

But if a relationship is causing stress or shows signs of being toxic, look for ways to establish clear boundaries, talk to a therapist, or even consider ending the relationship if it is taking too much of a toll on your well-being.

Social relationships are important, and they come in all different types. Having a variety of relationships with different people can ensure that you have the support and connections you need, minimize your risk of loneliness and social isolation , and improve your emotional health and well-being. 

American Psychological Association. Friends wanted .

Gawda B. The structure of the concepts related to love spectrum: emotional verbal fluency technique application, initial psychometrics, and its validation . J Psycholinguist Res . 2019;48(6):1339-1361. doi:10.1007/s10936-019-09661-y

Wentland JJ, Reissing ED. Casual sexual relationships: Identifying definitions for one night stands, booty calls, f--- buddies, and friends with benefits . Can J Hum Sex. 2014;23(3):167-177. doi:10.3138/cjhs.2744

Rodrigue C, Fernet M. A metasynthesis of qualitative studies on casual sexual relationships and experiences . Can J Hum Sex . 2016;25(3):225-242. doi:10.3138/cjhs.253-a6

Haupert ML, Gesselman AN, Moors AC, Fisher HE, Garcia JR. Prevalence of experiences with consensual nonmonogamous relationships: Findings from two national samples of single Americans . J Sex Marital Ther . 2017;43(5):424-440. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2016.1178675

Birditt KS, Newton NJ, Cranford JA, Ryan LH. Stress and negative relationship quality among older couples: Implications for blood pressure . J Gerontol B Psychol Sci Soc Sci . 2016;71(5):775-85. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbv023

Lavner JA, Bradbury TN.  Why do even satisfied newlyweds eventually go on to divorce? .  J Fam Psychol . 2012;26(1):1-10. doi:10.1037/a00259

By Kendra Cherry, MSEd Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book."

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  • Emma Seppälä
  • Nicole K. McNichols

what is a healthy relationship essay

Five research-backed principles to cultivate stronger workplace relationships.

Research shows that leaders who prioritize relationships with their employees and lead from a place of positivity and kindness simply do better, and company culture has a bigger influence on employee well-being than salary and benefits. When it comes to cultivating happiness at work, it comes down to fostering positive relationships at work. Citing research from the field of social psychology, the authors outline five core principles that make all relationships, personal or professional, thrive: 1) transparency and authenticity, 2) inspiration, 3) emotional intelligence, 4) self-care, and 5) values.

Kushal Choksi was a successful Wall Street quant who had just entered the doors of the second twin tower on 9/11 when it got hit. As Choksi describes in his best-selling book, On a Wing and a Prayer , his brush with death was a wakeup call. Having mainly focused on wealth acquisition before 9/11, he began to question his approach to work.

  • Emma Seppälä , PhD, is a faculty member at the Yale School of Management, faculty director of the Yale School of Management’s Women’s Leadership Program and bestselling author of SOVEREIGN (2024) and The Happiness Track (2017). She is also science director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education . Follow her work at emmaseppala.com , http://www.iamsov.com or on Instagram . emmaseppala
  • Nicole K. McNichols  Ph.D. is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington where she teaches courses about sex and relationship science in addition to industrial and organizational psychology. Follow her work at  www.nicolethesexprofessor.com and on Instagram .

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How Daily Stress Affects your Heart Health

This essay about the impact of stress on heart health explores how chronic stress triggers hormonal changes that adversely affect cardiovascular function. It highlights the direct consequences of prolonged stress, such as increased blood pressure and atherosclerosis, which elevate the risk of heart disease. Additionally, the essay discusses how stress influences lifestyle choices that can further harm heart health, like poor diet, smoking, and lack of exercise. It also touches on the role of chronic inflammation under stress, which contributes to the deterioration of arterial health. Solutions for managing stress, such as regular exercise, mindfulness practices, and maintaining strong social connections, are outlined as effective strategies to mitigate these risks. Overall, the essay emphasizes the importance of managing stress to protect heart health, suggesting practical ways to alleviate stress and its harmful impacts on the cardiovascular system.

How it works

It’s no secret that the fast pace of modern life often brings a fair share of stress. Whether it’s the hustle of meeting tight deadlines, managing household responsibilities, or navigating complex social relationships, stress seems to shadow much of our daily routines. What might not be so apparent, however, is the profound impact this stress can have on our heart health.

When we’re stressed, our body reacts by releasing hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones kick-start the body’s ‘fight or flight’ response, gearing us up for immediate action.

This natural survival mechanism can be lifesaving in acute situations, but when triggered too often—thanks to chronic stress—it can wear down our body, particularly our cardiovascular system.

Chronic stress leads to continuous high levels of cortisol and adrenaline, which are tough on the heart and arteries. Consistently high blood pressure from prolonged stress can damage the arterial walls, which may lead to heart disease. As these walls thicken and harden, conditions like atherosclerosis decrease arterial flexibility, dramatically increasing the risk of heart attacks and strokes.

Stress doesn’t just wreak havoc on our bodies directly. It also influences our lifestyle choices. For many, stress is a gateway to picking up or continuing unhealthy habits—smoking, reaching for a drink, or indulging in junk food. While these may offer temporary relief, they come with a host of health issues, including weight gain, higher cholesterol levels, and increased blood sugar levels, all of which stress the heart even more.

Furthermore, chronic stress affects the way our body handles inflammation, a leading player in heart disease. Under stress, inflammatory responses can go into overdrive, accelerating the buildup of plaque in our arteries. Moreover, the constant rush of stress hormones can make the heart pump faster and harder, which over time can change the heart muscle itself.

Thankfully, there are effective ways to mitigate the impact of stress on our heart. Exercise, for example, is a fantastic stress reliever. It not only helps control weight and reduce blood pressure but also triggers the release of endorphins, chemicals in the brain that act as mood lifters and painkillers.

Mindfulness practices like yoga, meditation, and deep-breathing exercises can also help calm the mind and reduce stress. These activities help shift the body from stress responses to relaxation responses, lowering heart rate and blood pressure, and promoting overall heart health.

Social connections also play a crucial role in stress management. A robust social network can offer emotional support, reduce loneliness, and help manage stress more effectively. Keeping in touch with friends and family, participating in community activities, or even getting professional counseling can provide the support needed to manage stress.

To wrap it up, while stress is a natural part of life, managing it effectively is key to maintaining a healthy heart. By understanding how stress affects heart health and adopting strategies to cope, we can protect ourselves from the serious risks associated with heart disease. Taking active steps to reduce stress is not merely about feeling better—it’s about fostering a healthier, stronger heart.

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