funny creative writing stories

101 Hilarious (or Slightly Amusing) Comedic Story Prompts

Do you need some help conjuring compelling comedy ideas? Sometimes reading simple comedic story prompts is the easiest way to find them.

Most writers are often asked,  “Where do you get your ideas from?”  A majority of the time, writers find it difficult to answer that question.

We get our ideas from a plethora of sources — news headlines, novels, television shows, movies, our lives, our fears, our phobias, etc. They can come from a scene or moment in a film that wasn’t fully explored. They can come from a single visual that entices the creative mind — a seed that continues to grow and grow until the writer is forced to finally put it to paper or screen.

In the spirit of helping writers find those seeds, here we offer 101 originally conceived and hilarious — or at the very least, slightly humorous — story prompts that you can use as inspiration for your next horror story.

They may inspire screenplays, novels, short stories, or even smaller moments that you can include in what stories you are already writing or what you will create in your upcoming projects.

Check our our other story prompt lists here!

1. Two opposing football coaches from rival schools fall in love with each other.

2. A man is afraid of everything.

3. A mom is obsessed with wanting to be popular amongst her teenage daughter's friends and peers.

4. A past arcade game champion from the 1980s quits his job to travel the country getting high scores on classic arcade game consoles.

5. A world where cats and dogs rule Earth.

6. Mark Twain is transferred into the future to experience what life is like now.

7. Someone believes that they are an amazing athlete, but nothing could be further from the truth.

8. A character desperate for a job accepts a position as an interpreter, but can't actually speak the native language.

9. A bigot's soul is transferred into a minority's body.

10. An egotistical genius is suddenly stripped of their intelligence.

11. An unethical CEO of a superstore is ordered by the court to work a month as a cashier.

12. A cowboy is forced to work in the corporate world.

13. A male mermaid falls in love with a female castaway.

14. Mrs. Claus is forced to deliver presents on Christmas after her husband runs off with a stripper.

15. A janitor enacts hilarious daily revenge on the students that mock him.

16. A man finds a loophole to enter the Miss Universe contest.

17. A disgraced angel who hates humans is forced to live amongst them.

18. A mother and her teenage son switch bodies.

19. The world's unluckiest man.

20. An Uber/taxi driver picks up a doppelganger.

21. A world where everybody suddenly tells the truth no matter what the consequences.

22. A pastor is accidentally sent to Hell for a missionary trip.

23. A talented but laid-off chef is forced to take a job in a fast food joint.

24. A group of promiscuous high school friends decides to live like do-good virgins to win the heart of a new student.

25. What if Romeo and Juliet hated each other?

26. Someone dies, only to see that their childhood wish of returning to life as a dog comes true.

27. Someone that faints at the sight of blood becomes a vampire.

28. A man discovers that's he's actually a robot.

29. An alternate universe where adults are the children and kids run the world.

30. A man suffers from a strange mental disorder that forces him to communicate only through puns.

31. High school friends of the opposite sex vow to marry each other by 40 if they're still single — only to finally reunite at a high school reunion and discover they can't stand each other, but don't want to be alone.

32. A tone-deaf singer trying to make it as a performer.

33. An egotistical Dungeons & Dragons player wakes up within the world of their campaign.

34. Pranking gets out of hand in an office building.

35. A man finds any way he can to get his wife to divorce him — but none of it works.

36. A marriage counselor that has been married five times.

37. The world's worst beekeeper.

38. The world's worst soccer player that is only on the team because their father coaches.

39. An otherwise innocent priest is disenchanted with the church, quits, and decides to make up for lost time by sinning — but their conscience is making it very difficult.

40. The world's worst hunter.

41. The angel and devil on one's shoulders are actually real.

42. A man afraid of the water decides to confront his fear by visiting the world's biggest waterpark.

43. A man afraid of clowns decides to confront his fear by attending clown school.

44. A woman is literally afraid of her own shadow.

45. The country's funniest comedian decides to run for president as a joke — and wins.

46. The world of enthusiastic parents and coaches during a week-long soccer tournament.

47. A group of childhood friends reunites for their 25th reunion only to learn that each of them has undergone drastic changes in their genders and sexualities.

48. A character obsessed with Tom and Jerry cartoons is thrust into that world.

49. The son of a secret agent is nothing like his father.

50. A princess from another country decides to go incognito and attend an American college.

51. A prince from a male-dominated society comes to America.

52. The opposite of vertigo — the fear of being too close to the ground.

53. A woman has Sinistrophobia — the fear of objects to your left.

54. A millennial who can't detach from technology is forced to go camping.

55. A romantic comedy about two dogs that fall in love against all the odds.

56. Someone that hates horror movies because the characters make stupid mistakes is thrust into a world where those scenarios play out.

57. Dogs and cats, living together.

58. The frog that was turned into a prince turns back into a frog after the princess divorces him.

59. A millennial who can't detach from technology is transported to 1980s.

60. A hipster who wishes they could live in the simpler times of the 1800s gets their wish and realizes how hard that life really was.

61. A Little House on the Prairie fan wishes they could live in that world and realizes how hard that life really was.

62. A TV personality is a fake Shark expert on a Shark Week show.

63. A popular TV Chef that can't really cook is hired by the White House to cook for the inaugural ball.

64. An egotistical President of the United States decides to pull a publicity stunt for the upcoming election — he wants to be the first president in space.

65. A family wakes up to discover that their dog, two cats, and two frogs can now talk.

66. A family is transported to the land of Oz only to be mistaken as witches because of their smartphones.

67. Unappreciative twin brother and sister are transported into the bodies of their father (brother) and mother (sister) at their birth and get a taste of what it was like raising twins.

68. Unappreciative twin brother and sister are transported into the bodies of their father (sister) and mother (brother) at their birth and get a taste of what it was like raising twins.

69. Parents travel into the future to see what their children are like — and the results are not that great.

70. Grandparents welcome their six grandchildren for a week's vacation; only the parents never come back.

71. A group of children start an underground candy factory and run it like a drug cartel.

72. A group of soccer moms start an underground cupcake factory and run it like a drug cartel.

73. A bunch of bored fathers that binge The Sopranos decides to start a suburban mafia — but they are a far cry from gangsters.

74. A farmer decides to open a knock-off of Disneyland, complete with lackluster versions of Pirates of the Caribbean , The Jungle Cruise , It's a Small World , and many other iconic Disney rides.

75. The competitive world of belly flop competitions.

76. The competitive world of cannonball diving.

77. The competitive world of adult go-cart racing.

78. The competitive world of minigolf tournaments.

79. Neighbors living in Midwest suburbia decide to get into the lucrative world of internet couples pornography.

80. A white family wants to open up a Chinese restaurant in Chinatown.

81. A group of children obsessed with 1980s movies decides to remake the classics.

82. A group of children playing hide and seek in their basement discover old VHS tapes and have no clue how to play them — leading to an adventurous journey of mystery and discovery.

83. A middle school decides to run school elections like the presidential race and prove to the world how childish adults in the political world really are.

84. A grownup butt dials their childhood phone number. Guess who answers?

85. A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar.

86. The world's worst fistfight between two suburban dads goes viral.

87. A world where humans evolved from sloths.

88. A white-collar prisoner does everything he can to return to prison when he's released at an old age.

89. A spoof of The Shawshank Redemption where the protagonist is an idiot that makes the most stupid mistakes and gets caught at every escape attempt.

90. The world's easiest prison to escape.

91. A hardcore rapper that actually didn't grow up in the hood.

92. A mom that has had enough of her spoiled children and husband plans a vacation for herself.

93. A man and his best friend, his dog, switch bodies.

94. A woman and her best friend, a cat, switch bodies.

95. A movie buff that is sick of body switch movies actually switches bodies with someone.

96. The competitive world of the Summer Redneck Games —classic events include the toilet seat horseshoe toss, watermelon seed spitting, mud pit belly flop.

97. The competitive world of Quidditch.

98. The world of Renaissance fairs.

99. The world of cosplayers.

100. A 25th high school reunion committee decides to do an adult prom, leading to mirrored drama from twenty-five years ago.

101. A blogger trying to concoct a list of 101 hilarious (or slightly amusing) comedic story prompts runs out of ideas when he reaches the end of the list.

Share this with your writing peers or anyone that loves a funny story. Have some prompts of your own? Share them through comments on Facebook posts or Twitter retweets!

Keep writing.

Ken Miyamoto has worked in the film industry for nearly two decades, most notably as a studio liaison for Sony Studios and then as a script reader and story analyst for Sony Pictures.

He has many studio meetings under his belt as a produced screenwriter, meeting with the likes of Sony, Dreamworks, Universal, Disney, Warner Brothers, as well as many production and management companies. He has had a previous development deal with Lionsgate, as well as multiple writing assignments, including the produced miniseries  Blackout , starring Anne Heche, Sean Patrick Flanery, Billy Zane, James Brolin, Haylie Duff, Brian Bloom, Eric La Salle, and Bruce Boxleitner. Follow Ken on Twitter  @KenMovies

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Top 150 Short Story Ideas

by Joe Bunting | 131 comments

Do you want to write but just need a great story idea? Or perhaps you have too many ideas and can’t choose the best one? Well, good news. We’ve got you covered.

Below are 150 short story ideas for all your favorite genres. You can use them as a book idea, as writing prompts for writing contests , for stories to publish in literary magazines , or just for fun!

Editor’s note: This is a recurring guide, regularly updated with ideas, new story prompts, and information.

If you're in a hurry, here's my 10 best story ideas in brief, or scroll down for the full version.

Top 10 Story Ideas

• Tell the story of a scar.
• A group of children discover a dead body.
• A young prodigy becomes orphaned.
• A middle-aged woman discovers a ghost.
• A woman who is deeply in love is crushed when her fiancé breaks up with her.
• A talented young man's deepest fear is holding his life back. 
• A poor person comes into an unexpected fortune.
• A shy, young woman unexpectedly bumps into her soulmate.
• A long journey is interrupted by a disaster.
• A young couple stumble into the path of a psychopath.

Get The Write Structure here »

Table of Contents

Why Creative Writing Prompts Are Helpful How to Write a Story General Story Ideas Thriller Story Ideas Mystery Story Ideas Romance Story Prompts Sci-fi Story Ideas Fantasy Story Ideas Horror Story Prompts

Why Creative Writing Prompts Are Helpful

Below, you'll find our best creative writing prompts and plot ideas for every genre, but first, why do we use prompts? Is it just a waste of time, or can they actually help you? Here are three reasons we  love writing prompts at The Write Practice:

1. Practice the language!

Even for those of us who are native English speakers, we're all working to improve how we use our language. To make progress, you have to practice, and at The Write Practice, believe it or not, we're really into practice! Creative writing prompts are easy, fun ways to practice.

2. When you have no ideas and are stuck.

Sometimes, you want to write, but you can't think up any ideas. You could either just sit there, staring at a blank page, or you could find a few ideas to help you get started. Even better if the list of ideas is curated from our best plot ideas over the last decade that we've been publishing lessons, writing exercises, and prompts.

Use the story ideas below to get your writing started. Then when your creativity is warmed up, you'll start to come up with your own ideas!

3. To develop your own ideas.

Maybe you do have an idea already, but you're not sure it's good. Or maybe you feel like it's just missing some small piece to make it better. By reading other ideas, and incorporating your favorites into your   story, you can fill your plot holes and generate creative ideas of your own.

Use the story ideas below to develop your own ideas.

4. They're fun!

Thousands of writers use the prompts below every month, some at home, some in classrooms, and even a few pros at their writing “office.” Why? Because writing prompts can be fun. They get your creativity started, help you come up with new ideas of your own, and often take your writing in new, unexpected directions.

Use the plot ideas to have more fun with writing!

How to Write a Story

One last thing before we get to the 100 story ideas, let’s talk about how to write a great short story . (Already know how to write a great story? No problem. Just skip down to the ideas below.)

• First, read stories. If you’ve never read a story, you’re going to have a hard time writing one. Where do you find great stories? There are a lot of places, but check out our list of  46 Literary Magazines  we’ve curated over here .
• Write your story in a single sitting. Write the first draft of your story in as short a time as possible, and if you’re writing a short story , try to write it in one sitting. Trust me, this works. Everyone hates being interrupted when they’re telling compelling stories. Use that to your advantage and don’t stop writing until you’ve finished telling yours.
• Read your draft. Read your story through once, without changing anything. This will give you a sense of what work it needs going forward.
• Write a premise. After reading your first draft, get your head around the main idea behind your story by summarizing your story in a one sentence premise. Your premise should contain four things: a character, a goal, a situation, and a special sauce. Not sure what that means or how to actually do that? Here’s a full premise writing guide .
• Write, edit, write, and edit. Good writing is rewriting. Use your second draft to fill in the plot holes and cut out the extraneous scenes and characters you discovered when you read the first draft in step #2. Then, polish up your final draft on the next round of edits.
• Submit! Real writers don’t keep their writing all to themselves. They share it. Submit your story to a literary magazine , an anthology series , enter it into a writing contest , or even share it with a small group of friends. And if it gets rejected, don’t feel bad. You’ll be in good company.

Want to know more? Learn more about how to write a great short story here .

Our 150 Best Short Story Ideas, Plot Ideas, and Creative Writing Prompts

Ready to get writing? Here are our 100 best short story ideas to kickstart your writing. Enjoy!

10 Best General Short Story Ideas

Our first batch of plot ideas are for any kind of story, whether a spy thriller or a memoir of your personal life story. Here are the best story ideas:

• Tell the story of a scar, whether a physical scar or emotional one. To be a writer, said Stephen King, “The only requirement is the ability to  remember every scar .”
• A group of children discover a dead body. Good writers don’t turn away from death, which is, after all, the  universal human experience. Instead, they look it directly into its dark face and describe what they see on the page.
• A young prodigy becomes orphaned. Orphans are uniquely vulnerable, and as such, they have the most potential for growth.
• A middle-aged woman discovers a ghost. What do Edgar Allen Poe, Ron Weasley, King Saul from the Bible, Odysseus, and Ebenezer Scrooge have in common? They all encountered ghosts!
• A woman who is deeply in love is crushed when her fiancé breaks up with her. “In life every ending is just a new beginning,” says Dakota Fanning’s character in Uptown Girls.
• A talented young man’s deepest fear is holding his life back. Your character’s biggest fear is your story’s secret weapon. Don’t run from it, write about it.
• A poor young boy or girl comes into an unexpected fortune. Not all fortunes are good. Sometimes discovering a fortune will destroy your life.
• A shy, young woman unexpectedly bumps into her soulmate (literally bumps into him). In film, this is called the “meet cute,” when the hero bumps into the heroine in the coffee shop or the department store or the hallway, knocking her books to the floor, and forcing them into conversation.
• A long journey is interrupted by a disaster. Who hasn’t been longing to get to a destination only to be delayed by something unexpected? This is the plot of  Gravity ,  The Odyssey , and even  Lord of the Rings .
• A young couple run into the path of a psychopath. Monsters, whether people who do monstrous things like serial killers or scaly beasts or a monster of a natural disaster, reveal what’s really inside a person. Let your character fall into the path of a monster and see how they handle themselves.

Now that you have an idea, learn exactly what to do with it.  Check out my new book The Write Structure which helps writers take their ideas and write books readers love. Click to check out  The Write Structure  here.

More Short Story Ideas Based on Genre

Need more ideas? Here are ideas based on whichever literary genre you write. Use them as character inspiration, to start your own story, or borrow pieces to generate your own ideas. The only rule is, have fun writing!

By the way,  for more story writing tips for each these plot types, check out our full guide to the 9 types of stories here .

20 Thriller Story Ideas

A thriller is any story that “thrills” the reader—i.e., gets adrenaline pumping, the heart racing, and the emotions piqued.

Thrillers come in all shapes and forms, dipping freely into other genres. In other words, expect the unexpected!

Here are ten of my favorite thriller story ideas :

• She just started a new job when a cryptic message comes across her desk that she can't ignore.
• An undercover agent is in a race against time to find out who is behind a pate of disappearances.
• A stuntman realizes the star is a target of a conspiracy theorist on set and their life is in danger.
• A government agent arrests the wrong man and he begs his wife to find evidence before he becomes the scapegoat for a coverup.
• Murder victims keep appearing at a popular tourist destination. She must find out who's behind it in this action thriller.
• A new neighbor seems friendly enough until a series of unsettling events rattles the neighborhood.
• A thriller writer's compelling characters begin showing up in real life crime scenes, and they become the prime suspect.
• Mysterious circumstances always surrounded the sudden retirement of a megastar, until a nosy investigative journalist uncovers a clue that would unravel everything.
• Artificial intelligence took his job after he created the very code that launched the company into eye-popping profitability. And now he's out for revenge.
• A criminal mastermind has shut down essential services in the city, and only a retired recluse of a hacker can stop him. If they can convince him to take the case.

Click for ten more thriller short story ideas

25 Mystery Story Ideas

Enjoy a good whodunit? Then you’ll love these mystery story ideas .

Here are a few of my favorites, but find the rest here :

• A librarian happens across a crime scene when they clean the basement archives.
• A murder mystery party goes wrong and potential suspects point at each other to avoid arrest. (Especially effective if set in an enclosed location.
• A secret society of mystery readers realizes that there is a real killer still on the loose and the clues are hidden in a dead author's books.
• A murder scene on a movie set becomes reality when the star is found dead, and the prime suspect discovered missing.
• A new restaurant owner in a small town uncovers a long-forgotten mystery from the town's past but the mysterious circumstances unearth a real killer.

Click for the mystery story ideas

30 Romance Story Ideas

Ready to write a love story? Or perhaps you want to create a subplot with a secondary character? We've got ideas for you!

Hint: When it comes to romance, a sense of humor is always a good idea. Have fun! Here are a few of my favorite, but find twenty more love story ideas here :

• A character's high school sweetheart shows up and it turns out the school crush feelings haven't gone away.
• Two characters find an unexpected connection during a key scene that confuses one of them.
• He gets a letter from a secret admirer and goes on a quest to uncover the identity of the sender.
• They work together and a secret romance would be a terrible idea, putting both their jobs at risk, but the pull to each other is hard to resist.
• She returns home when her family's had a tough time after the death of a parent. He's been helping them sort through the mess, and while she disagrees with how he's helping, she can't stop thinking about him.
• At their large ten year high school reunion, he asks her to dance and she slowly realizes he's the brother of someone she doesn't want to ever see again, but there's an instant connection.
• A romance writer can't find her own happily ever after until she meets…
• It's conference season and he has to present all over the country. It's usually a boring string of business trips, but when he's put on a panel with a fiesty and brilliant woman who the night before had kissed him in a bar, he knows this conference season is going to be very different.
•  It's her first road trip after a bad breakup and she's determined not to depend on anyone else until…
• A pop star and an astronaut in training meet at a benefit dinner and can't avoid each other's orbits.

Click for romance story ideas

20 Sci-Fi Story Ideas

From the minimum-wage-earning, ancient-artifact-hunting time traveller to the space-exploring, sentient dinosaurs, these sci-fi writing prompts will get you set loose your inner nerd.

Here are a few of my favorite sci-fi ideas :

• In a future society, neural implants translate music into physical pleasure, and earphones (“jacking in”) are now the drug of choice. Write either from the perspective of a music addict, OR the Sonforce agent (sonance + enforcer) who has the job of cracking down.
• It’s the year 5000. Our planet was wrecked in the great Crisis of 3500, and remaining human civilization survives only in a half dozen giant domed cities. There are two unbreakable rules: strict adherence to Life Quality (recycling doesn’t even begin to cover these laws), and a complete ban on reproduction (only the “worthy” are permitted to create new humans). Write from the perspective of a young woman who just discovered she’s been chosen to reproduce—but she has no interest in being a mother.
• So yeah, ancient Egypt really was “all that” after all, and the pyramids turn out to be fully functional spaceships (the limestone was to preserve the electronics hidden inside). Write from the perspective of the tourist exploring the ancient society who accidentally turns one on.

Click for the other seventeen sci-fi story ideas

20 Fantasy Story Ideas

Need a dose of sword-in-the-stone, hero and/or heroine packed coming-of-age glory?  We love fantasy stories!

Just try to not have fun writing (or even just reading!) these fantasy writing prompts. Here are a few of my favorite fantasy story ideas:

• Bored high school wizards decide to throw a party to celebrate tomorrow's graduation. Nothing could possibly go wrong.
• Weddings are stressful. They're especially tricky when one family is magical and the other hates spells, and both mothers want to control the celebration.
• A bored housewife wakes one day to find all her dishes are singing Hey, Jude . (Alternatively, if you want to make this a darker story, have them sing  The Sound of Silence. )
• A witch living secretly in suburbia casts a spell to speed up the laundry, but it backfires—just in time for trick-or-treaters to deal with dancing underwear.
• Capitol Hill wakes one day to find thousands of fairies protesting for better media representation. Unfortunately, no one can understand what they're saying.
• A fed-up genie, sick of being over-sexualized and paid in wishes, throws a magical tantrum which turns everyone in the world into the opposite gender.
• One bright morning in May, all domestic pets start talking.
• Eating food turns one's skin the same color as one's last ingested item, which makes cheating on diets a challenge of strategy as well as taste.
• Giants are REALLY into reality TV, and one day stomp down from their hidden mountain homes to convince Hollywood to create a show about them.
• Mythological creatures, tired of being portrayed as gym rats, confront their creators on a popular combative talk show.

Click for the fantasy story ideas

20 Horror Story Prompts

• Three college students take a final road trip during spring break of their senior year, not knowing that each of them harbors a dark secret about one of their college professors who was murdered in the fall. As revelations begin to stack up, they each begin to suspect the other.
• A quiet golf community is upended after a series of grisly murders begin happening on the greens, and a golf pro's seemingly perfect life begins to unravel with each body they find. She isn't the killer, but she has a terrifying idea of who might be.
• A police officer on terminal leave before retirement finds himself in a bar where he suddenly realizes the art on the walls shifts and reveals pictures of serial killers from the last twenty years. And his best friend and former partner, who is still on active duty, is there on the wall too.
• A grieving daughter revisits the libraries and locations where her famous horror writer mother penned her most famous works. And finds out her mother's stories weren't quite the fiction everyone believes.
• A teacher returns to teach at the school where they attended to find that their entire class is made up of the children of every bully and enemy from their life. But no one claims to remember them.
• A cursed siren hunts a fishing village looking for the boat and man that killed her true love.
• A hoarder dies and the mother-daughter team hired to clean up the mess discover a dead body and the horror of how it all began might connect to a shape-shifting monster from their own family.
• A yacht party veers off course during a summer squall and lands on an island. Their relief gives way to terror as they realize they aren’t alone and worse, they’re prey.
• Radioactive scorpions escape from a lab and begin to attack a small desert town.
• An experimental romance rehab resort goes into lockdown after a therapist and a participant are found dismembered and clawed to shreds on the beach. But the threat is inside the compound.

Ten more spine-tingling horror story prompts here . 

The Secret to Choosing the Best Story Idea

Stories, more than any other artistic expression, have the power to make people care. Stories have the ability to change people’s lives.

But to write a great story, a life-changing story, don’t just write about what your characters did, said, and saw. Ask yourself, “Where do I fit in to this story? What is my personal connection to this story?”

Robert Frost said this:

If you can connect your personal story to the story you’re writing, you will not only be more motivated to finish your story, you might just be able to change the lives of your readers.

Next Step: Write Your Best Story

No matter how good your idea, writing a story or a book can be a long difficult process. How do you create an outline, come up with a great plot, and then actually  finish  it?

My new book  The Write Structure  will help. You'll learn how to take your idea and structure a strong plot around it. Then you'll be guided through the exact process I've used to write dozens of short stories and over fifteen books.

You can learn more about   The Write Structure  and get your copy here.

Have a great short story idea?  We'd love to hear it. Share it in the comments !

Choose one of these ideas and write a short story in one sitting (aim for 1,000 words or less!). When you're finished, share your story in the Pro Practice Workshop (or our latest writing contest ) for feedback from the community. And if you share, please be sure to comment on a few stories by other writers.

Joe Bunting

Joe Bunting is an author and the leader of The Write Practice community. He is also the author of the new book Crowdsourcing Paris , a real life adventure story set in France. It was a #1 New Release on Amazon. Follow him on Instagram (@jhbunting).

Want best-seller coaching? Book Joe here.

Work with Joe Bunting?

WSJ Bestselling author, founder of The Write Practice, and book coach with 14+ years experience. Joe Bunting specializes in working with Action, Adventure, Fantasy, Historical Fiction, How To, Literary Fiction, Memoir, Mystery, Nonfiction, Science Fiction, and Self Help books. Sound like a good fit for you?

131 Comments

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise for the writer, no surprise for the reader.” —Robert Frost

Great quote, right?

Your site is just awesome!

asome i rily like that

My latest project has been working on a TV-format screenplay. In TV writing, there are B storylines, which are plot lines that span the course of a season (or several seasons). Each episode, however, has an A storyline, which is the plot of the events in that particular episode. Each A storyline is essentially a short story, and churning them out is surprisingly difficult! Lately I’ve been outlining episodes for my own story. I’ve just completed one that I particularly like, and would love to hear what you all think!

The Vampire Cat

The episode opens with Leiko telling the rest of the crew The Dream of Akinosuke. She finishes the story and they all head off to bed. Leiko walks Shannon to her room. On the way, Shannon asks Leiko if the events of the story were the main character’s dreams or if they were real. Leiko replies that for the Japanese the line between dreams and reality is very thin. They say goodnight and part ways.

The next day, the crew touches down on planet Lorraine. Their mission is to rob an auction house of a valuable piece of art if their client is not able to purchase it. They attend the auction. The client is outbid, so that night they return to the auction house to steal the sculpture. While looking for it, Leiko uncovers a dimension hopping machine, which she assumes to be a piece of junk. The crew is surprised by the auction house’s guards. Shannon is shot in the fight. Leiko tries to help her, but is intercepted by a guard. They fight, and Leiko falls inside the dimension hopping machine. She falls against a lever. The doors to the machine close and it begins spinning very fast. Leiko is thrown to the floor and the impact knocks her unconscious.

When she awakes, Leiko is no longer in the machine or the auction house. She is in a 16th century Japanese barracks, surrounded by soldiers. Furthermore, she is dressed like them and they address her as Soda. When she catches a glimpse of her reflection, she realizes to everyone else she looks like a Japanese man. Unsure if she is dreaming or not, Leiko decides to play along. She hears from the other soldiers that the prince of the region is seriously ill, and thinks maybe with her advanced medical knowledge she can help. She sneaks into the castle to see him. On the way, she passes a group of court ladies. The most beautiful of them smiles at Leiko and her eyes flash yellow. Leiko shakes it off, assuming she must be seeing things. She reaches the prince’s room and is shocked to find Shannon lying close to death, surrounded by attendants. She is discovered and thrown out, but she begs to be told what’s happened to the prince, and is informed he has a mystery sickness no doctor can diagnose. It is feared he will die. The prince’s attendants suggest that if she is so worried about her sovereign, she should pray for his health. Before she leaves, she uses to her dagger to look at Shannon’s reflection, and sees that her reflection is in fact that of the prince. Leiko feels the whole situation is somehow strangely familiar, but unable to put her finger on why, she decides there is nothing for it but to follow the attendants’ advice.

That night she goes to the holy quarter and bathes at the well before praying to the statue of Buddha for the prince’s/Shannon’s recovery. A voice calls to her, and she looks up to see a figure in a window above her. The figure asks her to come up. Leiko goes into the building and finds a priest who introduces himself as Ruiten and tells her he has been brought to the castle to find the source of the prince’s illness and asks for her help. Leiko finally realizes why this all seems familiar to her – she is in the story of The Vampire Cat of Nabeshima, playing the part of the young soldier Ito Soda. She makes a conjecture: the dimension hopping machine really worked and has brought her to the spirit world. Shannon, after being shot, is dying, and her spirit has taken the place of the prince in the story. If Leiko saves the prince, she saves Shannon. Ruiten agrees that this may be possible. Leiko agrees to help him. Knowing how the story goes, she now has a hunch as to what is causing the prince’s sickness.

Leiko goes back to the castle, and straight to the house of the court ladies. She digs under the verandah and finds exactly what she thought she would – the body of the beautiful lady, with puncture wounds in her throat.

The next day, Ruiten obtains permission for Leiko to keep watch over the prince with his attendants. That night, all the attendants fall asleep. Leiko keeps herself awake by stabbing herself in the leg. Later in the night, the beautiful lady comes to the room. She says her name is O Toyo, and she is the prince’s favorite companion. Under Leiko’s watchful eye, she cannot harm the prince, so she leaves.

The next morning, Leiko goes to confront the false O Toyo. They fight. Before Leiko can kill her, the false O Toyo shifts to her true form – a demonic black cat – and escapes the castle. Ruiten sends soldiers after her. Just then, there’s a scream from the prince’s room. Leiko and Ruiten rush from to the room and are told the prince is dead. Leiko pushes her way to the bed and, taking Shannon in her arms, pleads with her to wake up. In course of this, Leiko realizes she’s in love with her friend. Suddenly Shannon opens her eyes and says Leiko’s name.

Leiko wakes up in the med bay of the Perseus, surrounded by the crew. Shannon is in the bed next to her, weak but alive. Leiko gets up to tend to her. Shannon asks if one of the crew was holding her, because she could have sworn she felt like she was lying in someone’s arms. Kaya jokes that she must have been having a good dream. Leiko remarks that maybe it was something more.

This is great! Seriously, I really enjoyed it. Now you have to write it! 🙂

Hey Sunny! Loving this website

Opps that was my grandma 🙂 But she right

Do you know of any Romance magazines that offer short story romances or literary magazines dedicated to just romance? Just curious.

I’m not familiar with any, but try googling “romance literary magazines” or “romance short stories” and I’m sure you’ll find some. Reply back if you find any that are particularly promising.

I just want to say, there are so many good stories on this website. This show the amount that you have helped all these people, maybe one day I will add myself to those people, thank you.

http://www.writersdigest.com/writing-articles/by-writing-genre/romance-by-writing-genre/romance_markets

بدأت تمطر ورأيت الناس يسرعون للإختباء من قطراته فابتسمت لذكرى جميلة عبرت خاطرى ..تذكرت امى عندما كانت ترقص تحت المطر بفستانها الوردى..الهى كم كنت أعشق هذا الفستان عليها..كان يناسب بشرتها الفاتحة ونحولة جسدها .جذبتنى من يدى يومها واخذنا ندور فى حلقات لا تبدء ولا تنتهى. شعرت ببرودة يديها تصعق يداى وبرودة المطر تبلل وجهى أحسست وبالسعادة تغمرنى لانك اخيرا بجانبى واخيرا تبتسمين اشتقتك يا اماه ..أشتقت لتفاصيلك وابتسامتك. أشتقت لمعنى وجودك جانبى ..المطر يهطل، أعلم أنك لو كنت الأن معى لجذبتينى ورسمنا بأقدامنا دوائر حتى تبتل عظامنا ..سأرقص لك فقط وسأبتسم لك فقط. بدأت عيون الناس تتجه نحوى ..تستنكر فعلتى ولكنى لا أفعل شئ.انا فقط أخبر أمى إنى بخير وأنى أشتاقها..ولكن للمطر طعم غريب يا أمى. له طعم ألم فراقك ،طعم الحياة بدونك ؛هو المطر وهى الحياة ولكن طعمهما مؤلمين يا أمى

I’m writing a “Thriller.” I’m very excited. A short story. Thank you. Right on time as usual!

Fun! Good luck LaCresha.

I’m wondering about “the sagging middle” in story structure right now. I’m happy with my beginning and ending, but the middle isn’t as dynamic as I want it to be. Does anyone have any experiences or advice about this? (It’s a 25 000 word story that’s due for a competition in about four months.)

Hey Rosie. We have a few resources on that. First check out our structure and plot cheatsheet: https://thewritepractice.com/plot-structure . Then, a great guest post on story structure with a hole in it: https://thewritepractice.com/story-hole . And I always recommend Save the Cat, which is a book for screenwriters, but is also very helpful for story structure in general: http://amzn.to/1TNpv2F . Highly recommend it.

The story grid is a good site and podcast for story structure. 🙂

I would say have an extremely unexpected twist, with a character the audience trusts.

But longer than 15 min but here it is.

I rub my fingers into the soft fuzz on the big brown chair. I can make designs if I move my fingers up or down. A dot makes one eye. Then another. A line for a smile finishes my chair picture. ‘Why would Daddy take money and blow it into the wind?’ I wonder as I draw.

A wet spot lands by the mouth, making the brown turn dark. I try to wipe it away, but the face disappears instead. I lay back in the chair, bumping my twin brother and making the dim room spin. My pink and orange stripe shirt is soft as I wipe my eyes. James’s tears fall to the chair like rain, his mouth open like one of the squishy balls we play with. His cry is loud. I join the noise.

Mommy’s hair, as dark as the wet spot on our chair, poofs around her face. Her green eyes seem small with her eyebrows close together. Teeth and gums show as Mommy screams like a roaring lion. Daddy points a finger at her nose. He looks so big. He yells, trying to be louder than her. James and I try to cry louder than them. Maybe they will hear us. Maybe they will stop.

Mommy lets out one last angry scream and tries to push Daddy away. A long red line comes on his arm. Red water comes out of it. Daddy’s eyes widen. His face turns red. He grabs Mommy by her arms, lifts her, and pushes her to the door like a rhinoceros. The wood breaks as they go through.

The noise has stopped, except for sirens in the distance. I curl into a ball in the chair, James’s knee sticking into my back, and close my eyes.

James and I get to sleep in the same bed tonight. It’s strange having Daddy read and tuck us in by himself, but he tells us Mommy will be home soon. I still don’t understand why she went to jail. I thought jail was for bad guys, but Daddy says everything will be ok.

The lights go out bringing shadow monsters. I hug my brother.

Bit longer than 15 minutes, but here it is

‘Scars’

The noise has stopped, except for sirens in the distance. I curl into a ball in the chair, James’ knee sticking into my back, and close my eyes.

This was so good! You have a really good writing style!

“The wall, he decided, will always be there”

He awoke, or at least it seemed he did, for he could not tell if he had been dreaming or if he were dreaming now. He pushed the woollen, scratchy blanket away from his body. There were no sheets, and his skin stuck to the plastic mattress that smelled of others sweat and urine. After prying his flesh from the tenacious bedding, he managed to sit up. He was more tired than he had remembered. He was still dirty and thirsty and his eyes hurt as they squinted in the dim hazy light. He drew his legs up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. For long moments, he sat that way fearing punishment for doing anything that might be wrong.

Eventually, however, his eyes grew accustomed to the shadowy light and he began to see things. Across from him he could see a wall. He wondered how long the wall had been there. The question struck him as absurd. The wall he decided would always be there. In this confusion, he meditated on the hardness before him until a thought of beauty entered his mind and the nakedness upset him. “There are no pictures…it has no pictures hanging from it.” Lacking the courage, or cowardice, to look away he continued staring blankly until his sight improved still further and he found something within the wall that excited him. “I forgot…about…colour…I can see the colour now!” He tried to give the colour a name. “Dirty…” he thought. “Filth.” he said out loud. “It is a filthy colour.” he whispered silently to himself.

Quickly, the excitement left him and he began to grow tired of looking at the wall, even the colour began to bore him. The boredom gave him a sense of courage and he became bold. He decided to explore. Cautiously he moved his eyes to the right where he saw…a corner, Then the head began to turn to follow the lead of the eyes. They continued past the corner until they gazed upon something he recognized.

He hated what he saw, the familiar object that hid in the shadows…the thing that kept him here. He glared at it, but the closed and bolted door remained unmoved. It was then that he turned back to the wall he had grown to know and the boredom…he had grown to love.

incredible first sentence!

Incredible first sentence and incredible last sentence. Shivers up my spine. Thank you.

3 words…. copy and paste

Omg how why are people so good at writing stuff?!?!?

idek!?!?!!! i’m a freshman in high school and i can’t even write a simple short story.

Give it time…

This was a wonderful read ^_^ Short and enticingly written. Drew me in right away with that first bit, and especially the way it was all tied together by that first sentence. Lovely!

I know it’s been two years but it’s still very good and still deserves praise. I like this trippy atmosphere, you managed to convey it very nicely.

Some great story ideas here. You could even combine some of them in interesting, tenuous ways for a multi-location epic.

Thanks Bridget! Absolutely. And there’s nothing I love more than a good epic.

These are great ideas. I like the idea of prompts. Though sometimes, I get stuck when I write from a prompt. And sometimes, I’m not able to write a story in one sitting. I have to think about how I want the story to play out. I might have done it once, and they were pretty short. But most of the time, it takes a couple of sessions. That’s how I’m wired, I suppose.

Ten years of therapy, about a million different types of pills and three psychiatrists have helped me enough to write this. I was eleven when it happened, my older sister, Quinn, was almost sixteen, and my best friend was ten. I’ll never forget it… I doubt anyone ever will.

It was a warm summer day, early June, my best friend, Harper was over and we were playing in the backyard. We were laughing and singing along to a song that I couldn’t tell you the name of now. It was the middle of a normal day, but that’s what they always think just before everything goes wrong. Well, anyways,Harper and I amused ourselves doing everything and nothing for a while before we decided that we wanted to go to upstairs and bug Quinn, who we thought was doing her online drivers ed. courses. We raced up to her room, giggling like the little girls we were. When we got to her room, Harper grabbed the doorknob and tried to fling the door open, but it was locked. That should have been my first sign that something was wrong, Quinn never locked her door, we weren’t allowed to. We yelled, laughing, “Let us in! Let us in!” We giggled and knocking on her door again and again. There was no response, so I remember grabbing the key my parents always had, it opened all of the doors to me and my sibling’s bedrooms… I wish I would’ve known what I know now. I wish I wouldn’t have opened that door.

That day was the last happy day for a long time. I remember everything clearly, the breeze ruffling my short hair, the sound of Harper screaming the lyrics to our favorite song at the top of her lungs. I especially remember the thing that has haunted me for the past ten years. I remember my sister’s lifeless body lying in a pool of her own blood on her bed. I remember the look on her face being more peaceful than I’ve ever seen it. I remember screaming as I stared at the image of Quinn, her wrists bleeding and her skin pale. I remember the sound of Harper frantically dialing 911 and I remember the ambulance arriving. I remember the paramedics calling my parents and hearing my mom’s piercing scream from the phone. I remember the paramedics forcing me out of Quinn’s room, while I kicked and screamed at them, begging them to let me stay with my sister. It was the last time I saw her face. I remember collapsing in my dad’s arms. That was the first time I heard him cry, it wouldn’t be the last.

She was already dead when the ambulance got there. Suicide, they said, she killed herself. It took a long time to convince myself that it wasn’t my fault. If I had only went to see her sooner I could’ve saved her. The funeral was closed casket and everyone cried. I didn’t. I couldn’t. I was too numb. I don’t remember much of the funeral, it was just a blur of black and navy blue, with the occasional apology thrown in there. I never got why everyone apologized, it wouldn’t bring her back.

I was just a little girl and there I was with my childhood torn away from me. I was a younger sister and then I was an only child. A piece of me has been missing from me ever since that die and I doubt I’ll ever get it back again.

This was based on the boy or gets an unexpected fortune. I flushed out the typos, but its okay. Check it out! 😀 Caleb Pratt

Mistaken Divinity

My bar drinks of the wooded timberland were one of the most profound expeditions in my walk into becoming a god. I cupped the glass of cool bud light, and sipped it up at the mini bar table. I rested my hand on the wooden counter top, my fans and companions gambling each other on some high level daredevil match.

“Hey, Lexan, where you at,” I turned to see my friend Rodriguez. Fun man to have around with. He was had long grey hair, even for a guy. I pushed off the table and stood straight. I kept my hand in my pocket.

“You have a lot of realty in the new diversion your causing. Sherman hasn’t even sighted any more Divine Partakers, let alone, any Christian circumspect.”

“I know I know, but… we are, what they are… except the for the grace,” Rodriguez said.

“Right,” I narrow my eyes down towards the ground. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say about us Mormons being what the Christian Community isn’t. I mean, there almost all extinct, if not a hundred percent. We are the erected believers… who are in sure denial of the forthcoming of any later day saints.

“So where is your ceremonial magic been taking you,” Rodriguez said. “Anyhow I could help in the cemetery on Route 430?”

“Uhh… I mean… yeah unless you have a cloak and a specialized dagger. I’d have to get you one of those. You’ll be all dressed like a Celtic.”

We laughed.

Rodriguez was a good friend of mine. Much older though. I was in my teen years and he was in his fifties.

“Man, Lexan, you need to grow a beard. Your seventeen years old… yet you look like you’ve graduated college. What happened to your power to manipulate appearance? Funny… its a shame Christians don’t have this kind of power… even heathens can’t do anything we can.”

“Yeah I can tell Rodge. Tell me, why haven’t you been practicing your divinity? You seem a little out of shape to be wrestling with angles and demons….”

“Well I… yeah I mean, sure. Lets say I’m kind of in a predicament.”

“What…?”

I lay my back against the counter.

“Well, down on Armenia Rd. there was a cross fight between me and some other foe. Not sure what to suspect of him, but the “man-woman” was between two others working for her, or he… I don’t know.”

I rest my chin on my thumb and index finger. I realize and hear there are other phenomena of some other cultist group here in Sherman. Our cult is wacky on its own. Though I don’t know what to think of this “he-she man” thing….”

BZZZZZ! BZZZZZ!

‘I heard you! Shut up!’

‘Enough, you asshole!’

WHACK! Pieces of metal and plastic shattered on the wall.

“I can’t do this anymore,” she muttered softly as she fights her every being not to shed a tear. Alas, she lost once again.

It’s been days since she last saw light. The shadows on the walls seemed permanently etched. Her sanctuary once filled with love, lust, and happiness, now wreaks with despair, anguish, and palpable desperation.

‘How did I get here?’ she thought. The same desperate thought she’s been clutching onto for days. Or maybe weeks? Months? Years?

It doesn’t matter. To Emma, time no longer exists with this unrelenting pain.

Once in a while, the light would sneak through the thick, heavy curtains. And Emma would almost succumb to a hint of a smile until it haunts her again.

His resilient hands on her supple breasts. His soft lips caressing her neck and slender sternum. His sturdy chest against her trembling body. His whole palpitating manhood devouring her salacious being. Every ridges of Paul haunt her. Now, it all has to be distant memories. Unshakeable, soul crushing memories.

After what seemed like a lifetime of horizontal desolation, she finally mustered some strength to sit at the edge of her bed. She slowly opened her bulging eyes, and finally saw the mess she was in. Rotting pieces of food in cardboard boxes, sea of crumpled tissue strewn with nauseating piles of laundry, and dismantled pieces of her once chirpy alarm clock scattered all over her dingy floor.

As she moved her gazed from the floor, she noticed the dent on her pristine white wall. She couldn’t help but stare. ‘That dent will be there for a long time,’ she thought.

With a throbbing grunt, Emma slowly stood up and shuffled towards her once chirpy alarm clock. She picked up the pieces and followed the faint light peeking through her bathroom door. As she turned the door knob, more tears rolled down her cheeks. It was excruciating, but this time it was different. The door closed and the room was dark once again.

“His resilient hands on her supple breasts. His soft lips caressing her neck and slender sternum. His sturdy chest against her trembling body. His whole palpitating manhood devouring her salacious being. Every ridges of Paul haunt her. Now, it all has to be distant memories. Unshakeable, soul crushing memories.”

He had left his Gameboy behind. There was nothing to do without it, nothing to do but kick his feet and stare at the dull blank walls. Even annoying Di-Di had lost its colour. He didn’t care what Ma or Papa said. He had to get his Gameboy back.

He pushed into the room. Ah Boy, wait outside ah. Don’t come in! Papa had seemed firm, but he was old enough now to know how to get out of trouble. He would run to Ma, hide behind her legs, maybe tearfully declare that he would run away from home because Papa was so mean. Anyway, Papa seemed so busy with Ah Gong nowadays. He wouldn’t bother to cane a little boy like him.

Where had everyone gone? He couldn’t have been in the corridor for so long. The room that was once packed full of relatives was empty. It was only Ah Gong left in the hospital bed.

Immediately he noticed that the mask over Ah Gong’s nose and mouth was gone. Who had removed it? Without the strange alien-octopus-thing perched on his face, Ah Gong looked like the grandfather he remembered. He moved closer to get a better look.

As he approached the bed he realized the mask was lying on the chair. The inside was stained with a rustlike substance he did not recognize. He held up the mask to the light, and rubbed the stain with a cautious index finger. A powder came off in his hand. With a shiver of disgust he realized it was dried blood.

“Di-Di!” He didn’t know if he was terrified or excited. Where was his brother? Ma had always rushed to daub up any blood in their house – whether from Di-Di falling when learning to ride his bicycle, Di-Di scratching him during one of their many fights, Papa tripping over a wire and later needing stitches in his forehead. He couldn’t pass up this golden opportunity to share with his brother: the chance to investigate blood without an adult present.

The Gameboy lay in the room, forgotten.

Wrote on ‘a group of children discover a dead body’. In case it wasn’t obvious.

“I do like llamas very much,” said Charleston, “In fact, they even have names.” “You are one freaky man, Charleston.” stated Larry

Very well said!!

Jeremy Reynolds had a party one day. He decided it would be a special theme. Deez Nutz, he decided would be a fitting title for a beach party.

*I am only 14 so please, don’t mind me if there are any mistakes. I am still in the process of learning, but I tried really hard*

He could write. He could write and he knew it. No one else knew. He’d never show them his pieces; his collection of fantasies and mysteries. He wanted his friends to know. No, he wanted the world to know. But he was fearful. He was fearful of his stories failing, of him failing.

Abram had written many short stories and novels, all of them printed in manuscript and hidden in a black lock-box under his bed. He was unmarried, for he didn’t need any other love than that of his trusty typewriter and parchment. Writing was frowned upon, in his country. Books were burned. Even the classics. They were all burned in a pile on the streets.

He wouldn’t risk it. He didn’t want that fate for his books. He worked to hard. He spent too much time revising and perfecting the novel; there was no way he would let them die.

Sighing, Abram cracked his knuckles and stood. He yawned and walked over to his bed, where he bent down and grabbed the lock-box from beneath the bed. Abram had kept the key underneath the mattress, in case anyone were to find this box that contained all of his treasured secrets.

He opened the box he hadn’t opened in many years. Removing the pieces of parchment, he sat on floor, listening for the sounds of Nazi vehicles who somehow sensed the unpublished books. But none came. There was only silence, which, to Abram’s surprise, seemed to grow stronger as each second passed.

Before he knew it, Abram had been sitting on his hard floor for hours, thinking. Thinking about what he knew not. He just knew he was thinking.

Abram stood slowly; carefully as if he was trying not to disrupt the dust that covered the dark floor. Walking over to his desk, he left his lock-box open; something he’d never done in the years past. He sat and placed some more parchment into the typewriter and began writing, or typing, you could say. But this time, something was different. Abram wasn’t writing just for fun, he was writing for purpose. This time, he thought, this time, I will be published and my work may fuel the world. And with that, he revealed his talent to the world.

Thank you so much!!

much thanks <3

I’m sorry I’m late but I just wanted to say this story is fantastic! Soon enough this will become a book! I’m from Hawaii and all I do is write and draw all day… Keep up the work and never give up! God bless and aloha!

Yours was the best story that I read on this page…

thank you!!!

Very empowering!!! I was also around your age when I started writing on this site.

Anyways, that short story was so full of meaning. We just happened to be doing an essay on the value of literature in English class so this really fit in nicely for me with that. Lovely! 🙂

oh thank you sooo much!! I greatly appreciate it!!

I enjoyed your story. Thank you for sharing. I especially liked how Abram developed his talent, and despite the fear of having his manuscripts destroyed, he decided to publish his work. Well done and well told.

I have noticed some tiny grammatical mistakes in your Story and correct it for you as I know that this short Story has potential to go very far. Here is the corrected version: He could write. He could write, and he knew it. No one else knew. He’d never show them his pieces; his collection of fantasies and mysteries. He wanted his friends to know. No, he wanted the world to know. But he was fearful. He was fearful of his stories failing, of him failing.

Abram had written many short stories and novels, all of them printed in manuscript and hidden in a black lock-box under his bed. He was unmarried, for he didn’t need any other love than that of his trusty typewriter and parchment. Writing was frowned upon, in his country. Books were burnt. Even the classics. They were all burned in a pile on the streets.

He wouldn’t risk it. He didn’t want that fate for his books. He worked too hard. He spent too much time revising and perfecting the novel; there was no way he would let them die.

He opened the box he hadn’t opened in many years. Removing the pieces of parchment, he sat on the floor, listening for the sounds of Nazi vehicles who somehow sensed the unpublished books. But none came. There was only silence, which, to Abram’s surprise, seemed to grow stronger as each second passed.

Abram stood slowly; carefully as if he was trying not to disrupt the dust that covered the dark floor. Walking over to his desk, he left his lock-box open; something he’d never done in the years past. He sat and placed some more parchment into the typewriter and began writing, or typing, you could say. But this time, something was different. Abram wasn’t writing just for fun, he was writing for a purpose. This time, he thought, this time, I will be published, and my work may fuel the world. And with that, he revealed his talent to the world.

I hope my effort has helped!

Is it OK if I put this on a website I’m making. It will get me money I need to have. You said your only 14, 9 months ago, so you could be 15, well I’m only 12. I need to learn to save up and this will help me. Everything I said here is true, please help me. Also, this is a great story and that is why I chose your to be on my website.

dude thats like literally directly stealing someone’s work for money that only goes to you. Just write your own story instead of stealing someone else’s.

Admit it. I am probably some dude who can’t even make a website, well I am, so don’t worry.

This is the story I am working on now. I wrote it a long time ago, but I am upgrading it now. Changing all the errors, making the vocabulary more sophisticated:

In a valley close to a river where melt-water splashed and where rhododendrons and roses bloomed, where linnets flew with doves above the clustered trees, lay a cave, mostly hidden by the immense pines and the crag. In the cave, out of reach from the sunlight, was a portal. The portal’s frame was the darkest shade of gold, with glowing orange lines carved into it. Glowing flecks of bright blue glow in the darkness of the cave. The portal lay un opened, but the frame still glowed in the shadows of the sombre cave.

In a desert of torturing, immense heat, where scorching light, too blistering to be called sunlight, burns the dehydrated ground, was a tunnel, buried under the sand. In the tunnel there was an ever-growing fortress of burnt leaves and sand with over-boiled water dripping the top. This is all that remained of the desert, nothing could survive in the world above, nothing except from the portal. The fortress was built around the portal; the portal was the darkest shade of black, with red around the rims of the frame.

The sound of water hitting the cold tiles that topped the floor brought a sense of entertainment to the girl sat in the small room covered in a mixture of scars and bruises, awaiting the next blow of the hammer upon her fragile body which shivered in the night air and soft breeze which entered via the half barricaded window. Again and again, almost as if it was a cruel rhythm the metal tool came down, never missing a hit, always landing upon her chest. The storm brewing outside was bad enough without the maniac and his hammer. These are soft blows for a man of his build, she thought, she was certain he intended to make this last all night long. She wanted to struggle, to scream! But the leather bindings made it impossible, who cares anyway, she thought, no one near this basement would care.

The sticky taste of iron filled her mouth, blood. Her body started to shudder, shock. By this point the inmate hitting had dropped the hammer and injected another load of hydrocodone, such a waste of such an effective pain killer. At last she tried to struggle, but even with the drugs numbing the sharp pain shooting trough her body she still couldn’t gain the strength to fuel her ineffective hope of escaping the inmate, after all, even if she did escape, in a mass breakout like this? She could die in a more demanding way.

With my free hand I felt the imperfections, holes, scratches, patches of long since dry blood that covered thee wooden operation table I lay on. How old was it? Thirty years? Forty? Who cares, it had to be old to be in the basement of Twin Rivers Asylum. This psychiatric institution had housed many atrocities, after all, Nazis built this asylum, catered the inmates…put them to work. We are only barely off the English channel; here in Channel Island’s Twin rivers asylum we have many an inmates. Young and old, French and British, they are all welcome here, hell, we have a Swedish inmate, talks to himself all day and night, his names Toby Buchman, we call him Toby-Talkative, how very fitting being his nurse I should die by his hand…

Ouch, be gentler Toby. Even through my drugged up husk of a body I felt that one. I and the staff thought you were joking when you said you were very strong, looks like you weren’t joking…

For such a shrivelled blotch of bones you have surprisingly good and when it comes to instrument of torture, your quite strong, why wouldn’t you be? Killing young women is why your here, Toby, you are one hell of a sociopath, brilliant mind, you’re like a more sadistic Hannibal Lecter minus eating his victims after all, I’m so helpless you could take a couple of bites out of me as I lie here, in the dark basement…

Fun fact, a goldfish’s attention span is three seconds, the average lunar eclipse takes 11 minutes to pass, and a wooden hospital bed from 19th century takes an average of 63 hits to break trough, 54 if you incorporate a body which weighs approximately 130lbs, and guess how much I weigh.

Suddenly I heard the wood buckle under the next hit a glorious hit as well as my straps loosening. Come on Toby, you brilliant old sociopath, you can do it, one more well made hit could send me free. What could go wrong? Toby stood motionless on the spot for a moment later Toby took another blow. I couldn’t breathe. The pain was so intense I felt every cell in my body explode in a chain reaction. The pain was so intense that it felt like a piece of heated iron had been pressed onto my skin. Despite that, a strange sort of calm fell over me: I was dying. I wasn’t coming back from this. Part of me thought, All right. Make it count. I wobbled on one foot about to run to the door, but unfortunately Toby kicked me at the wall. He was so strong, I thought All froze the leaves on the trees didn’t clatter, Toby didn’t stink anymore, Then it was gone all the memories of life returning to me. Then it all went away, my life was It was the end, nothing could stop that now…

I awoke in a bed, in a white room with a marble floor and a silver carpet at the foot of the bed; the wall behind her was a fancy, white wallpaper, decorated to look like a real wall. The wall on the left of the bed and in front of the bed were normal and white, on the right of the bed was a window, now covered, with a beige curtain. In the bed- where the girl lay were multiple cushions, all lay side by side at the top of the bed; the blanket covering her was soft and light. On the sides of the bed were two bed-side cabinets, one with a lamp and the other one with a vase, holding tulips and rhododendrons, on books by her favourite author, many she didn’t recognise. Promptly, she got up noticing there was a small, white table- shaped as a cylinder, with a transparent glass top; also noticing the chair behind it too. The chair was a traditional, leather armchair with four small metal legs holding it up. Then she turned to the door. It was white made, smooth and made out of oak, with a metal handle, a small, square keyhole under it.

As soon as I placed my hand on the door handle, it flew open with a tall, handsome man in the way with bright blue hair shaped as a fire and red eyes. “Welcome, Kayla to Valhalla. Where are you off so fast” he shouted with glee. “I was going out,” Kyla said trembling on the spot. “I didn’t think this is where I should be.” “In this hotel we are all dedicated to make you feel like home, for you will be staying here for the rest of your life. Sorry for my wrong vocabulary, you are already dead. For the rest of the time you need to practice.” “What !?” she yelled. “Are you saying I’m dead” “Yes I am,” the man asked confused.”May I introduce you to your new home”

So the two walked through what seemed to be a endless tour, but eventually came to an end. “And this is the dining room where you have dinner… Here is your breakfast room you can freely come here and invite friends if you are feeling lonely…” “So you are saying this is the place where all people go if they are an extremex and if they died they come here and become an extraextremex” “Yes,” said he.”And also that you are our leader because you can see what specie people are also take away their powers if needed.” “Can I take away the powers of sociopaths or weaken them with my mind beams whatever things.”

“Yes, you can but if you do that you will be weakened too. Also that is a high level trick, you are not high level- no offense” “Offense taken,” said Kayla, with her head down. So they continued on their tour and went walking through all the different floors and introducing Kyla to all the different people and members of staff. On they went about the limits of people and a lot of different stuff. After time, they started her training.

“Focus on me, ” Blaze was explaining to her how to see what specie he was.”Do not think of anything else. Not the colour of my nose, not what room we are in just on me the thoughts and memories of me. Now listen to the sound of my voice. You should be in a universe of darkness; are you?” “Yes I see black in the background and there are flying things in it.” “Yes those are my thoughts.” “I can also see images swirling around” “Those are memories” “I can also feel heat and cold environment when I move around. Are those your emotions” “Yes, the heat is happiness and the cold is anxiety or sadness. Now let’s focus on the specie part. To determine if I’m an Extraextremex, a normal Extremex or even an Oigreog. If I am an Extraextremex then you will not feel motion. If I was an Extremex then you would sense tingling and if I am an Oigreog then you’ll sense shaking. Which one do you sense?” “I sense tingling and shaking so you are one of the Oigreog in the times when Extremex where starting to populate the world. This that means you are an Exremog or an Exoiig” “I am an Exoiig. I have not died yet.” “But how are you here?” “Because I was the first Exoiig alive. I made this place” “But how?” “I used my powers to do it. That is why all the walls are shades of red, orange and yellow.” “Why didn’t you make mine a different colour.” “Because I need to keep track of what specie everyone is. I used Conjuration and Mysticism to make sure that every specie got the same shade of red or whatever.” They blabbered on about what it was like when Oigreog ruled the world, what Black Magic could do and how to control Extraextremex powers…

Kayla went to bed with the thoughts of how the world was made and how it transformed into this planet, when at the start it was billions of monsters – the Oigreog – fought and then somehow transformed into normal people who never fought in their lives. She also didn’t understand how there was only one person who had the power to see what specie one was… She woke with her hair curled up covering her face.

Once she tossed the hair off her face she noticed there was a book on her bed-side cabinet beside the lamp. When she picked it up, she noticed it was a book called “The Arts of Necromancy and Enchantments”. She soon noticed it was the book Blaze used to learn Black Magic. She was filled with a mixture of joy and shock. Then the door flew open. A small brown-haired boy was standing in the way. “Hi,” he said, holding a hand out to shake, “I am Logan, someone from you floor” “Hi,” Kayla said, shaking his hand, “I’m Kayla, an Extraextremex” “Do you want to go and have breakfast” “I guess so” said Kayla.

In the hallway, my neighbours were starting to emerge. Thomas Jefferson Jr looked about my age. He had short curly hair, a lanky frame and a rifle slung over one shoulder. His blue wool coat had brass buttons and chevrons on the sleeve – a U.S. Army Civil War uniform, I guessed. He nodded and smiled. ‘How you doing?’

‘Um, dead, apparently,’ I said. He laughed. ‘Yeah. You’ll get used to it. Call me T.J.’ ‘Kayla,’ I said. ‘Come on.’ Logan pulled me along.

We passed a girl who must’ve been Mallory Keen. She had frizzy red hair, green eyes and a serrated knife, which she was shaking in the face of a six-foot-seven guy outside the door marked X.

‘Again with the pig’s head?’ Mallory Keen spoke in a faint Irish brogue. ‘X, do you think I want to see a severed pig’s head every time I step out of my front door?’

‘I could not eat any more,’ X rumbled. ‘The pig head does not fit in my refrigerator.’ Personally, I would not have antagonized the guy. He was built like a bomb-containment chamber. If you happened to have a live grenade, I was pretty sure you could safely dispose of it simply by asking X to swallow it. His skin was the colour of a shark’s belly, rippling with muscles and stippled with warts. There were so many welts on his face it was hard to tell which one was his nose. We walked past, X and Mallory too busy arguing to pay us any attention.

We entered a small elevator and the doors closed, making the elevator sound. “One question: How does everyone get here.” “People called Collectors fly around the world collecting souls of dead Extremex. I am a Collectors.”

‘And you?’ I asked. ‘How did you become a Collector? Did you die a noble death?’ She laughed. ‘Not yet. I’m still among the living.’ ‘How does that work exactly?’ ‘Well, I live a double life. Tonight, I’ll escort you to dinner. Then I have to rush home and finish my calculus homework.’ ‘You’re not joking, are you?’ ‘I never joke about calculus homework.’ The elevator doors opened. We stepped into a room the size of a concert arena. My mouth dropped. ‘Holy –’ ‘Welcome,’ Logan said, ‘to the Feast Hall of the Slain.’

Rows of long tables, like a stadium, curved downward from the nosebleed section. In the center of the room, instead of a basketball court, a tree rose taller than the Statue of Liberty. Its lowest branches were maybe a hundred feet up. Its canopy spread over the entire hall, scraping against the domed ceiling and sprouting through a massive opening at the top. Above, stars glittered in the night sky.

What’s supposed to be your point? If you are receiving money from something YOU DO NOT OWN then it is obviously theft. YOU DO NOT PUT SOMEONE ELSES WORK ON YOUR OWN WEBSITE AND USE THAT MONEY FOR YOURSELF. That is just pathetic, really. I hope you honestly realise what your doing here, because its seriously stupid.

kys nigga my bitch loves the cocaine nigga gucci gang nigga iwill fuck your bith tongiht nigga, drose out nigga fag nigga

I am very disappointed that there is not 100 of the story idea selection

I’m glad to see Joe’s book, Let’s Write a Short Story! is still availalbe and going strong! I purchased it as soon as it was published, still refer to it quite regularly to remind myself of some important but often over-looked elements of short story. Although my work has been published a number of times, we’re never too experienced to learn and to be reminded of what makes for a great story.

A short story idea: When I was very young, one of my best friends learned she had been adopted. We all know that people really can and do say some incredibly stupid things to children. Because my mother had very blond hair and blue eyes and both my hair and eyes are dark brown, strangers often said to me,”And just whose little girl are you?” I began to wonder whether I, too, was adopted and my parents simply weren’t telling me. What if, as an adult who never questioned your origins, you learned you had been adopted. Conversely, because I myself DO have an adopted child, what if you were told you were adopted but in fact, learned you were not. Write a short story!

here’s my story

Uncle joe was talking to his 5 year old nephew jane about how he’s getting old and how she’s going to have to start doing all the chores in the house joe is a little challenged in his life because he was bullied and doesn’t know how to control his anger. he gets in an argument with jane and Joe felt anger go through his mind his temper over flows and he got so mad he started hitting her. 2 years later she was still helping around as Jane’s face would turn red and she would start throwing tempers and joe would hit her. Over the years her fachel expiration started to change form because of all the hitting. Joe heard a scream of dying devastating noise outside and went to go see what it was he lifted up a bucket and under it was the phone book. Since he had anger issues he decided to call the evil scientist and ask him to fix bullying once and for all after he went to the evil scientist house something went wrong he came back as the demon he unlocked his nephew’s room there she was. she was crying.Jane slowly turned around she was mad crazy. He ordered her to clean the dishes. Since she was so mad crazy she didn’t listen to him and she smacked him across the face the Demons face turned red he felt like someone pierced him with a needle he got so mad that he trapped her in the mirror. She was screaming for help but it just circulated around in the mirror as she was she was trapped there another duplicate appeared it was a boy. He said his name was michael. He was 7 years old the evil demon erased the kids memories and put them in a microchip. Then he put him on the streets. Someone had found him and brought him home and He had been with his new parents for years.He was great at figuring anything out a after a while he found out about his uncle Joe. Since he was so good at researching things he even found directions to his uncle’s house so he decided to go on an adventure to find his uncle joe/the Demon once he found uncle Joe he wasn’t at all happy.

Joe hit Michael and he fell to the ground and fainted .when he was just slightly awake he found a microchip it said Michael’s memories michael picked it up Joe was coming towards him with a knife

Michael woke up right away and put the microchip to his chest if he dies Jane will vanish for ever Joe stabbed Michael in the chest.luckily the microchip blocked the knife from stabbing him and the microchip went into his chest it felt like a rainbow bursting through his skin the light went into his eyes and he got his memories back. He knew everything he knew that his clone was abused and everything he was ready to sacrifice himself for his clone so he ran inside the house and did bloody jane spinning around in circles and said bloody jane bloody jane bloody jane.

He trapped himself in the mirror and Bloody Jane was back Jane through her self out of the house and went to Joe in and punched him on the floor and they had a sword fight and Joe died and bloody Jane turned into the evil bloody demon.

(I like to write with comic characters (Peter Parker, ect.) so here we go… Based on the scars short story idea)

“Where did these come from?” I flinched and hurried to cover my back and arms up. “They’re old… They don’t hurt anymore…” I frowned, remembering the pain from each one of the marks that stained my skin forever. “That’s not what I asked…” I flinched as he slid the thin jacket off my shoulders to get a better look at them. I didn’t meet his eyes as he traced over them. Long and thin lines from knives. Round ones from cigars or cigarettes. Jagged ones from glass. The giant one that curled from just below my neck, all the way around my body before stopping at my right hip. I remembered the pain from each one, the cause of each one, the people who caused each and every one of them… “Pete, It’s a really long story…” We had been dating for about a month and I didn’t want to scare him away with my sob story. “I want to know.” His voice was soft as he had me sit on the bed facing him. I looked at him for a while, trying to sort my thoughts out. We had been friends since we were six, but I had hidden everything from him. He had no clue, and I wish he still wouldn’t… I took a deep breath and began to tell the story. “I’ve kept this from everyone… Please let me tell the whole story before you ask questions or leave me. I wouldn’t blame you if you did…” “Go ahead, I’ll let you finish. But I promise, I won’t leave you.” He grabbed my hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “We’ll see… It began when I was six. My parents weren’t the best as you know… They weren’t home much. Mom went out drinking until she was hammered, Dad went out on “business” calls. He would leave almost every night, coming home with perfume on him. Mom didn’t want to believe it. She was in denial, believed that he still loved her as he did in the past… She would come home smashed and would start sobbing. I tried to help as much as I could, but I didn’t know much. I would let her hug me, and would do my best to comfort her. I learned fast that I needed to take care of her. She would wake up with a hangover and the best I could do was give her one of my favorite juice pouches and a cookie. She would start crying again and tell me that I was such a good girl. Remember when I missed school for a week?” “Yeah, the teacher said you were really sick.” “Dad and mom got into a fight. They were screaming at each other, I didn’t know what to do… I ran away from home, I went to my cousin’s house. I got to stay there the week even though he called mom. When I got home, Dad was gone and mom was passed out on the couch surrounded by empty cans of alcohol. Dad never came back after that, and mom got increasingly depressed. I didn’t know what was happening, Dad wouldn’t come home, mom was sad, I learned how to do things for myself quick because I had to support myself and mom. When I turned seven the nice elderly woman from next door began to teach me how to cook, and clean. I would make her little crafts to sell in her shop as a “payment” for the lessons. Mom barely noticed I was gone for an hour afterschool. She tried to be there for me, she would ask me how my day was, and would constantly give me hugs. I thought life was going good, that everything would be okay. Then when I was eight, everything went downhill…” He squeezed my hand slightly. “Dad came back to the house. He… He said nasty things to mom. I didn’t understand that well back then but as I grew older I understood what he said to her. He.. broke her… She wouldn’t talk anymore, refused to eat, refused to drink… After I came home from the sleepover at your house, I saw her… She, She was hanging from the ceiling, tears running down her face.” Pete looked horrified, pulling me into a hug as I continued. “The elderly woman heard my scream, and rushed over to see me staring at my mother screaming and sobbing. She called the cops, quickly getting her to the ground, checking her pulse. I was taken to the woman’s home, the police announced her dead and found a letter…” “I knew she passed but didn’t know what happened exactly…” Pete’s voice was quiet. “Dad got custody over me. He didn’t like the fact that I looked like mom. He… He did things. He let his ‘friends’ do things. I was nine at the time, and he sold me to his ‘friend’ for the night. Gave him 10 bucks to have his way with me. I tried to fight back but…” Pete looked livid. “I felt sick, the bad thing is that I couldn’t feel anything. I was numb, emotionally and physically. You and the others were the only ones that made me feel something… It continued until I was twelve, I had tried to fight but it was pointless. One day, Dad had enough of it. He slapped me, kicked me, cut me, burned me… He let his ‘friends’ have their way with me. The reason I began to miss more and more school was because of him. I got lucky sometimes and was able to sneak out and see you. He would add a new mark to the collection each time. Then when I was fifteen, he got drunk. He.. Had his way with me, then threatened to kill me if I said anything. Aunt May was the one to notice, the one day I came over she saw a glimpse of them… I confided in her, I didn’t want you to know because you would look at me differently. Or give up on me and that would have killed me… Dad found out when May called the cops on him. He was not happy, the longest scar was his attempt to kill me. The police did a search, and the court plead him guilty. I was in the hospital that month I missed school… My cousin got custody of me, then the accident happened, and I got my abilities. That’s pretty much it… I guess you’ll be leaving then?” I lowered my head, waiting for the rejection. “I told you. I’ll never leave you. I love you too much to do that. I’m glad you told me…” He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing the top of my head. “Really?” I teared up a bit. “Really.” He held me as I cried. I really felt loved for once in my life… All I know is that it felt good to get that off my chest. “I don’t care about the marks. Because these scars make you look even more beautiful to me.”

( I have no idea if I did this right and I’m quite sure I might have made few mistakes but it’s worth a try)

Sometimes there are instances when you can see your own life flashing before your eyes and it gets you thinking ” Is this where I want to be? Is this the place I still want to be in another 5 years?”

I had a minor problem, a fault perhaps. I was surely and indefinitely addicted to Alcohol. Don’t get me wrong it was not that type of addiction where one would kill for a bottle of beer or something far more stronger that leaves that burning sensation down your throat and a sting behind your eyelids. It was a addiction where when I didn’t know what to do-how to react- specifically, I turned to my new found companion. It didn’t shout back at me, didn’t call me names, didn’t say that I was a worthless mistake.

Infact it welcomed me with open arms and I embraced the feeling of not caring. Sure it was a great weight off my shoulders just to forget everything for a moment and just…… be. But then I’d wake up regretting every single thing I did the night before. Trust me that plus having a blasting headache ? not the best hangover tonic.

Now here I am in front of my car trying to think yet failing since I can’t even think straight to even start thinking about thinking.

That’s when I feel it. something poking at the back of my head. A shadow looming behind me.

”Leave the keys on the ground and turn away without a second glance and you won’t get hurt.” His vice was rough and he reeked of old garbage and dried up voldka.

There I see it again. All The time I’ve spent wasting away drinking without actually doing what my 21 year old self was supposed to be doing.

I took my parents money for granted and had the time of my life. A Audi sports car, expensive designer clothes, latest IPhone, all the girls I could ever imagine. And yet I felt hollow. An empty nutshell disguised as a perfect fruit.

This is the moment I change that. This is the moment the fight back. I’m not going to whole away anymore. I won’t be that worthless mistake any more. I am Rane Alexander after all and I won’t let a label define me. I’m going to get past this hazy fog and I’ll see the horizon again.

So I turned back and grabbed the man by his arm and sling him over hard sending the gun skidding across the dim lit parking lot.

” Not today” I breathed.

Nice…well done. I thought the ending was empowering…

Standing Still

I would like to tell you a story about a girl. There was nothing special about her at all-she was simply a girl. Every day she lived in pain. She lived in her shared room feeling so alone. Everything was white: the walls, the beds, the furniture. There was no creativity in the room, no evidence of the girl’s individuality-no posters, no color, nothing. Although, she did have one orange throw pillow that she didn’t want nor like. She hated the bland, bland room. Until she was forced to live in this room she saw white as a symbol of purity, harmony, and peace. Now she saw white as a toxic color, something that wasn’t even really a color at all, something that was devoid of emotion. Every day the girl took a shower in an attempt to wash away her skin that had been tainted by the room, but that simple act of cleansing soon became tiresome and it eventually stopped working. The girl felt dirty, impure, and alone. She was afraid-so afraid. She was afraid of being alone in her shared room in a shared house of seven people. She was afraid of not being heard, of not being able to speak. She didn’t know how she felt and she didn’t know how to express it. One day, the girl stepped into her shower, and stared at the white walls and the white floors and the white curtain and the whiteness of it all and she felt numb. She felt as if the blandness of her room and of her life had finally driven her emotionless. She stood there, feeling every singular drop of water sting her skin as if she was on fire and she felt nothing. Nothing-the absence of anything-shouldn’t feel as if the world was being torn apart around her, it shouldn’t feel as though everyone and everything were pitted against her, and yet this is the way the girl felt. She forgot that she was in the shower, where she was supposed to feel refreshed and cleansed, and she forgot herself. She leaned her head against the shower wall she wondered why the walls looked as if they were in so much pain. It was as if the very walls around her were feeling just as she felt. She stood and she thought. She wondered how long she would be able to stand there, with her head resting on a cold, hard surface. She stood in the shower too long, she stood there until the hot water turned cold and even past that. She stood there until she felt as though the pain building up inside her couldn’t take it any longer. And then, she moved. She placed one hand against the tile wall and she pushed, testing her strength-the wall remained still. She thought about how meaningless her life was and how she couldn’t possibly do anything important or memorable and she felt selfish. She felt selfish for wanting to be important. She felt as though all of her thoughts were not her own and that society had simply conditioned her to think them and she felt nothing. She felt trapped. She had nowhere to go, nowhere to be, no friends to run to, nothing. She felt alone. Her worst fear was unfolding as she began to panic. She thrashed in the shower as she desperately gasped for air, feeling nothing. Maybe she should stop gasping for air, maybe she should just give up. But no, she had to keep fighting. She turned and she turned the dreaded water off and it stopped. Just like that, it stopped, and she felt nothing yet again. She stood there, water dripping down her body, and she thought. She thought about how many mistakes she made and how many lies she’d told. She regretted everything. She wanted to stop feeling. She wanted to undo all of her wrongdoings and she wished she could fix the people she’d broken. She wished so desperately to fix herself. She stopped, she told herself to snap out of it and she felt nothing. She turned and she pulled back the bland, white curtain. She slowly took a step and then another. She stood right outside the shower and let herself feel the cold, rigid air on her skin because feeling something was better than nothing, right? She grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself to shield her small, fragile body from the cold. She stood there outside of the shower, and she felt vulnerable. She felt neglected. She felt as if nobody cared at all. She truly thought that she had no one. She sat down on the cold tile bathroom floor and she felt defeated. She felt as if she could no longer go one. She stared at the water dripping from the faucet and she thought about how easy it would be to corrupt these white walls with her own blood just as they had tainted her with pain and sorrow and misery. She sat for what felt like hours and she thought. She realized that she couldn’t do what she so desperately wanted to do because she was just too afraid. She thought about spilling her own blood, just to leave at least a little bit of herself in that lonely room that would never truly be hers. She came so close-oh so close-to giving up, but then she remembered. She remembered a person and how that person made her feel. She remembered a smile like no other. She remembered arms that held her so tight and close that she actually felt safe. She remembered a face, a gorgeous face, that lit up the moment its eyes layed on her. She remembered feeling loved, so she stood up, turned to the door, walked into the white room, and the girl lived on to see another day, another sunrise, and another beautiful moment.

And I have a secret-that girl, that terrible terrible girl, is me.

I have a blog and have uploaded 190 articles and short stories averaging 1000-1400 words. 70% were political. My writing is purely a hobby although I did send one story to a publisher and they wrote that they liked it but being an unknown author I would be required to contribute £2,500 towards the cost of publishing this children’s picture book which was 800 words long. Is this normal?.

So far I have had 43,000 hits worldwide on my blog I am now writing fiction for girls aged between 12-17 and children’s picture books..

I have a blog and have uploaded 190 articles and short stories averaging 1000-1400 words. 70% were political. My writing is purely a hobby although I did send one story to a publisher and they wrote that they liked it but being an unknown author I would be required to contribute £2,500 towards the cost of publishing this children’s picture book which was 800 words long.

IS THIS NORMAL?.

Is this normal ?

I will get up off the chair and head for the PC, I will type two lines. At this stage they are nothing but the release of vague reflections triggered by my imagination. I may not use them but they have to escape the clutter and disarray of my thoughts and be planted like a seedling. Those two lines on a blank screen when germinated can blossom into an article, a story or a book; the blank computer screen is not unlike the painter’s blank palette waiting for the first glimmer of his/her artistry. A line of text can do the same, although it need not even be a line of text, one word can suffice.

The first line read “It was the evening of the annual Concert and Dance at……….. ” I turned the Pee Cee off and I went to bed. The next day the story took root and blossomed… ….

I will get up off the chair and head for the PC, I will type two lines. At this stage they are nothing but the release of vague reflections triggered by my imagination. I may not use them but they have to escape the clutter and disarray of my thoughts and be planted like a seedling.

Those two lines on a blank screen when germinated can blossom into an article, a story or a book; the blank computer screen is not unlike the painter’s blank palette waiting for the first glimmer of his/her artistry. A line of text can do the same, although it need not even be a line of text, one word can suffice.

The first line read “It was the evening of the annual Concert and Dance at the Denham College” I turned the Pee Cee off and I went to bed. The next day the story took root and blossomed… ….

Those two lines on a blank screen when germinated can blossom into an article, a story or a book; the blank computer screen is not unlike the painter’s blank palette waiting for the first glimmer of his/her artistry. A line of text can do the same, although it need not even be a line of text, one word can suffice. The first line read “It was the evening of the annual Concert and Dance at the Denham College.

I turned the Pee Cee off and I went to bed. The next day the story took root and blossomed… ….

Here a poem…

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you Do you love me?

Times I sit and think of you In hope as you think of me Your smile just makes me melt As I know my makes you melt.

I know you think I’m silly But you love me for it.

I hope this puts a smile on your face As it does my as I wrote it.

The sky is blue, the grass is green and the sun is warm just like my heart that beats for you. You make me smile more then the beautiful flowers that bloom under the warmth of spring and you put a sparkle in my eyes more then the stars shine in the night sky. You light my path better then a full moon in a clear night sky.

You are beautiful and I love you too.

It lights up my heart to see the words I write to you. I never thought I would ever meet someone like you. I have told you things happen for a reason and so they do. I want spend every waking moment to show you how I feel. My heart belongs to the moat amazing woman I know. Baby, that is you. I know here lately I’ve been hard to love but I promise things will get better. You are my rock and sanitary you keep me going when I think I can’t. I love u with all my heart, mind, body and soul. You’re my FOREVER. Just one more thing to say.

Don’t give up on me because I will make all your dreams come true in one way or another. I will love you until I take my last breath. Just keep on loving me for I know I am you’re Forever Love…..

That is the biggest poem I’ve ever seen

Merp, I like this

Beware: Bad language. These are two dispicible people being told honestly.

————-

Stew bent down and grabbed the dead man’s feet. “Because they’re faggots, that’s why. Why you care?”

Phil bent over and grabbed the dead man’s shoulders. “I just don’t think we should generalize people like that. That’s all.”

“One. Two. Three. Up.” They lifted the dead man off the pavement and shuffled over to the trunk of their Volkswagen. “I don’t give a fuck what you don’t think, they’re still dick-suckers. On three again. One. Two. Three.” They tossed the man into the trunk. Stew grabbed the dead man’s legs and contorted them in such a way that his fat ass fit inside, then he tossed a sheet over the body and slammed the trunk shut. “Queers, Phil. God ain’t got no love for a man sucking off another man.”

Phil was wiping his hands with a kerchief. When he was done he stuffed it back in his back pocket. The left one. “Maybe God doesn’t care, neither? Maybe we’re the ones, as a society, making a bigger deal out of it than it really is.”

Stew licked his thumb and rubbed it on his left tail light, smearing a dot of blood and making it worse. “Gimme’ a rag, would ya’?” Phil fetched a rag out of the backseat of the VW and tossed it to Stew. He spit on the rag and then wiped the taillight raw. “It’s in the fuckin’ bible, man. God said a man and a woman, not a man and a man. Now, don’t get me wrong, I got no problem with women dating women. I mean, come on, it’s sexy as hell. But two guys wagging their weiner’s in each other’s faces? Fucking gross.”

Phil stuck a cigarette between his lips and lit it, closing his eyes and inhaling. He opened his eyes and exhaled. A kid on a bike rode by, tossing a newspaper wrapped in a blue bag on the edge of the driveway. Phil watched the boy as he pedaled away, dumping papers on every driveway down the street. “Maybe the bible does say that,” he said, turning back to Stew. “Why’s it our business, though? Long as they keep it between them, how’s it hurting you?”

“It’s the principle of the motherfuckin’ thing,” Stew said, tossing the rag to Phil.

Phil sidestepped out of the way and let the rag fall to the ground. “Fuck off, dude. I don’t want his fucking blood on my new suit.”

“Well at least put it in the trash.” Stew wiped his hands down his pants, at which Phil cringed, then walked over and opened the driver side door. “We gotta meet Don in half an hour and we’re runnin’ late. Let’s go.”

“Stop for a taco?” Phil asked, bending over and grabbing the rag between two fingers.

“Sure. I’m starving.”

I Tried This is what i have so far…:

Isra Sonnet liked the quiet. Which was why she wished she were back home with her parents back in California, her cousin Eric was snoring very loud on the top bunk of the beds. She tried to block out the noise, but he seemed to be getting louder, and louder with each snort. Having enough of this, Isra grabbed her pillow and climbed up with it.

Holding steady onto the ledge of the bed, she smacked him with it. Hard.

Waking up with a start Eric looked at Isra annoyed.

“What is wrong with you? I was trying to sleep!” He flings the pillow on by his face,to the floor.

“You’re loud enough to wake the dead. Stop snoring like an old man.”

“If you’re so mad about it go sleep somewhere else…” Eric says drifting back to sleep, too tired to argue.

Sighing Isra climbed back down to her bunk bed. She knew it wouldn’t be long before Eric would start snoring again. Gathering her pillow from the floor and the blanket from her bed, she walked out of the room closing the door behind her.

Now, it was quite dark in the house. Though, Isra knew her way around the house from memory. She was careful to go down the stairs, and not to make too much noise to wake Eric’s parents.

In the living room Isra made herself comfortable on one of the couches. Placing her pillow down and wrapping herself in the warmth of her blanket comforted her. She sighed in relief. Now she could finally sleep.

I really like it. It’s very detailed in my opinion. I’ve read a book like that called… “Wish”. I want to publish all six of my books when I get older. I’M ONLY NINE so maybe when i’m in my 20’s

dont worry about your age. you can be just as good as any other writer. i am only twelve and i am almost finished writing my book that i am hoping to publish. go for your dreams, dont let your age stop you.

I’m 16 and have published my first book, best experience of my life, I am very close to publishing my 2nd book and sooo excited! Don’t worry about your age, the younger the better I say! You go girl and good luck with your writing career. You are a very gifted young lady! Xx

If you want to publish your books, why not now? There isn’t a law against young authors. I’m not much older than you, but my book is being published this year. All you need is the money to publish–that’s the REAL hard part for a younger writer.

Hey, don’t worry, I’m eleven and I deeply enjoy writing, and I’m looking to get a book published very soon. There’s no law forbading youngsters from getting books published… In fact, becoming a young author is one of the VERY BEST things you could do to benefit you in the future.

Yea I’m 11 and I’m gonna start writing stories on an app called Wattpad

It’s a great way to get feed back and to start sharing your stories.

The temperature was searing. Tara squinted her eyes as wavy lines of heat danced in the distance. Michael shuffled out of the taxi behind her and bent to drop 30 pesos in the driver’s expectant hand. “Why did we have to come all the way to Acapulco just to get our teeth cleaned?” Tara whined like a child dreading the dentist. “We’re not just getting our teeth cleaned”, Michael explained, “I need 4 crowns, you could use some fillings, and dental work is so much cheaper in Mexico. Plus, it’ll be like a vacation as soon as we’re finished. I have 3 days of the most romantic stuff planned for us, just wait.” Tara smiled at the thought of what Michael’s idea of “romantic stuff” could be. It was 9:15 am Thursday, if all went to plan, they would be partying on the beach Friday night. The shop they had been dropped off in front of was a modest, stucco covered building with one dark window bearing a small sign that read “Dentista”. They were 45 minutes early for their appointments but hopefully that meant they would be done sooner. 30 minutes and 16 pages of paperwork later, they were ushered down a brightly lit corridor to a room containing an x-ray machine. Once finished there, they were led to adjoining rooms. Each contained nothing more than a large, green dental chair, procedure light, and metal rolling cart filled with shiny, sharp instruments. “The dentist will be right in,” said the plump assistant in a thick Mexican accent. Since the office saw so many tourists, the staff all spoke in English, and this reassured Tara that it wasn’t so bad after all. She was looking up at a poster of an aquarium filled with fish that was taped to the ceiling when the dentist strode in. He was tall, about 6 feet, with dark hair, dark eyes, and a brilliantly white smile. While peering at her x-ray films, he rattled off a list of work that she needed, and she agreed, not really understanding just wanting to get it over with. The plump assistant appeared and placed a mask over Tara’s nose and mouth as she crooned, “To make you comfortable!” The last thing she noticed before she lost consciousness was the poodle print scrubs the assistant was wearing. Tara woke up being shaken by Michael. “Come on let’s go, I’ve been finished for an hour.” She groggily sat up and placed her hand to her warm, swollen cheek. The assistant was back, handing Michael prescriptions for pain killers and giving him instructions not to eat for 2 hours. They stepped outside into the bright sun and began walking slowly towards the nearest intersection where they could hail a cab. After a short taxi ride they arrived at Hotel Catedral, a quaint, boutique inn on the outskirts of the city. The room was cramped, but clean, and after a quick shower, they both laid down and quickly fell asleep. The next 2 days were spent drinking, lounging on the beach, and making love. Tara awoke late Sunday morning and started packing. While she would miss relaxing on the beach, she couldn’t wait to get back home to her apartment. Her stomach had been bothering her on and off throughout the trip and she thought it may have been the water she was drinking. They took a taxi to the airport and the trip home was uneventful except for a few severe stomach pains Tara had on the flight. She took a few more pain pills and they eased up enough for her to take a nap. They barely had time to walk through the door when Tara felt a sudden urge and bolted to the bathroom. “Are you okay?” Michael called from the hall. “Fine, just gimme a minute!” Tara snapped, and Michael went in to the living room and laid down on the couch. When Tara had finished in the bathroom, she stood up and saw something strange in the toilet. It looked like what appeared to be several small balloons floating in the water. “What the…” Tara stared confused, and called for Michael to come into the bathroom. He popped his head in the door and looked at her questioningly. She pointed to the toilet and he shook his head as if to say, “I’m not going in there.” Tara walked to the sink and grabbed a pair of tweezers sitting near the mirror. When she reached towards the toilet, Michael yelped, “What are you doing?!” “Shush, hold on!” she said. She pulled back the tweezers and pinched in the end was one of the balloons. She carried it to the sink and quickly rinsed it off. Michael came closer and said, “That came out of you?” ‘Yeah, gimme something to cut it open.” He produced his pocket knife and she proceeded to make a small slice down the center of the balloon. A white powdery substance spilled from the cut. “Oh my god, it looks like drugs! Tara exclaimed. “How did this get inside me? It must have been the dentist! I told you we shouldn’t have went down there for dental work! What are we gonna do?” “Maybe we should go to the emergency room and get checked out? Michael suggested. “Ok but we should just say our stomachs are hurting and not say anything about the drugs. We don’t want them thinking it’s ours and taking us to jail.” After spending 4 hours in the ER, a CAT scan and bloodwork, the couple was assured that they were in perfect health and probably ate something bad. They headed home, relieved there were no more foreign objects in their bodies but worried about what to do about the dentist. “He can’t get away with this, said Tara excitedly, he probably does this to tourists all the time!” “But if we call the police and tell them our story, they might think we’re involved somehow,” said Michael. They arrived back at their small Austin apartment and decided to eat some dinner and think the matter over some more without rushing to alert the police. After all they were safe at home and had no plans on leaving the country any time soon. Maybe they could just put this whole thing behind them like a bad dream. A crazy story to tell the grandkids. Once the dishes for dinner had been washed and Tara was settling down on the sofa next to Michael, a knock sounded at the door. “Who could that be? “Michael asked. He got up, slowly walked to the door, and peeped through the eyehole. On the other side of the door were 3 well-dressed Latino men. The one standing closest to door was dressed in black pants and jacket with a tucked-in turquoise shirt. He spoke first. “We know you’re in there and you have something that belongs to our boss.”

I wrote two stories so far Murderous Twins (Mystery) and Pregnant at 18 (Drama n Romance) total words for both 27000

THANK YOU FOR THIS. I LOVE TO WRITE AND I NEEDED INSPIRATION!!!

My First Story.. I woke up late that morning, too excited to sleep at first and then I don’t remember when I dozed off to sleep early morning. Bright sunlight hit my half open eyes and I jumped off from the bed. It was 8:00 am already.

“Mama … why didn’t you wake me up? Has he left already?” Mother smiled “Its Sunday! Didn’t felt like waking you up from deep sleep you were in, besides you must have been dreaming, there was beautiful smile on your face. And don’t worry Papa won’t go without you.”

I was super relived and ran to hall, where my dad was ready, waiting for me. “We are going to City, right?” He simply nodded and smiled “Now get ready else we will miss the bus”

I ran to bathroom for shower and within seconds was out and in front of mirror combing my hairs. “Dry them properly, your hairs are wet, you’ll catch cold”

But here I was holding my dad’s hand and pulling him out of the door. We took bus from the bus stop and were on our way to City.

Finally the day had arrived when I was going to get my first Bicycle. It all started when my dad promised to get me Bicycle if I score good marks in final exam next year. All my friends had their own bicycle. Even my juniors had their own.

I patiently waited for one year to get my dream bike.

On the result day I was very nervous. When there was announcement that I stood first in 5th C, I jumped up in air and almost snatched my report card from our class Teachers hands.

I was telling everybody on my way back that I was going to get bicycle, since I stood first in class. After reaching home I told mom about the result and she was very happy. Then dad came back from work in the evening, he was very happy to hear about my results and patted on my back.

“So you are going to get me Bicycle” I said with glimmer in my eyes. “Let’s see” he simply said taking off his shoes

I was almost broken in tears to hear those words. He had not said no but neither did he say yes. I broke down “this is not fair, you promised”.

Next day, mom broke the news to me that finally I am going to get my Bike this Sunday.

Squeezing sound of halting break of bus brought me back to present. “We have reached, Lets go” said dad.

We reached the Big Bicycle store in Gol market. There were so many bikes, I just couldn’t take my eyes off. I picked the one with Marron color. Salesman explained the features to me. I looked at dad expectantly, he nodded and I hugged him.

Dad went in to meet the shop manager, I waited outside to see my bike being assembled by the worker. I saw dad having conversation with the shop owner. I don’t know what was wrong but dad came out.

“Let’s go now we will come next week, and take this Bike home” dad said with his fingers in my hairs. I couldn’t believe my ears. After waiting for almost a year I am getting my bike and now he is saying to wait for one more week.

I threw his hand away in disgust and ran away to hug my bike and started crying. Dad tried to convince me that He had assumed the Price of Bicycle to be lot less. And now he doesn’t have enough cash to buy this bike.

But I refused to budge down. I was so much carried away by anger, I couldn’t see the nervous face of my father. It must have been really awkward for him to face this situation.

“Okay. Let me see what can be done!” he went in. I waited outside partly sobbing and partly smiling.

Few moments later dad came out smiling. I knew he had bought the bike and we were going to be taking it home today. This was happiest day of my life.

It took me few years to understand that my dad had sold his ring that day to fulfill my wish!

This is what I’ve got so far:

Capt. Lee asked for interrogation volunteers. The Interrogation Rooms were full and there weren’t enough interrogators. Lt. Jones volunteered. She told him thee was a suspect in Interrogation room D. Should be easy — a straight-up homicide. Just tape the confession.

Entering IR D, he saw an inconspicuous middle-aged man. Inconspicuous? Maybe 100 years ago.

Lt. Jones introduced himself and sat down. He sat down and said he was there to get the man’s side of the story. Then he turned on the recorder. The man looked at him with amusement. “Do you really want my confession” he asked. Jones said he needed the man’s name and address first. “All right. I am Daniel Alan James, address 132321 Atlantic Avenue, Plot D3.”

Jones looked up sharply. “That’s a cemetery. Your real address please.” I get the nuts, he thought.

“I am not ‘pulling your leg’ as you so quaintly think. That is my address.”

“As to my confession. In 1869 in Palm Beach, I burgled May Palmer’s house I got a sackful of jewelry. I also hacked off her head. Sternly he looked at Jones. “You kept that back. He acted like that fact should have been publusged,, like he wanted credit for it.

“In 1920, in Miami Beach, I attended a speakeasy. I abducted a somewhat plump girl, Cynthia Handel, and eventually disposed her of in the Dismal Swamp.” Chuckling, he continued. You could say the alligators had a fine meal that night.

In 1936, Cleveland, Ohio. I presume you’ve heard of the Torso Murders there? The Mad Butcher of Kingsbury Run? It was never solved. Poor Eliot Ness — he wanted so badly to be Mayor of Cleveland and not just Safety Director. That case would have given him the Mayor’s office. I denied him that.””I

Above the gables of the orphanage roof, a tremulous, gentle sound began to keen. It began quietly, as oh so fragile a thing. I held my breath where I had awakened in my bed to keep from drowning it out- the sound of a human singing through a violin.

I knew exactly who it was that sang. She had come in just that day, eyes wide, mouth closed, and a violin case clutched to her chest like it was the only thing she had left in the world. I was older than her and so in a different dormitory, but still the sound found its way, sorrowfully, lovingly, through the still night air.

The sound of it made me want to cry, as it stirred in me a pain I’d long ago learned to shove away, the origin of which was the only thing that me and the little virtuoso child shared. It unfurled itself deep within me, reaching out for the sound as it grew, grew louder and more powerful as the beginning upset turned to something more violent, something filled with righteous indignation at what had happened to her… to… to me. Tears welled up in my eyes and I curled into my pillow as I fought the onslaught of emotions. The anger, the injustice, the harrowing *grief*. It all slashed and dove and resonated through the air- through my soul. I curled around the reopened wound, feeling the unreleased cry of pain inside of me. But the tears still fell. They were like rain.

Suddenly the vibrancy in the tone fell flat. The last ringing note was undulating through the air, twisting with fading passion, as a quieter, stiller strain took its place. Dispirited and exhausted, the muted notes struggled to find me, and I imagined them getting lost. It was both a relief and a loss as I felt the raw emotions drain away. It felt… hollow. It was like how I usually felt only much, much worse, the sheer weight of it making it a pain all its own, although it signified the absence of it. It was a rock I couldn’t push off my chest, or a vacuum inside of me. It *hurt*.

Still, my eyes dried as I listened to the dispassionate, lilting notes. They bumped into each other with pattern but no passion. The lack of colour in it compared to everything else the little violin girl had played almost made me want to cry again- for her this time, instead of me. I wanted to comfort her. To tell her that she could find a family here again… even if it wasn’t the same.

But then- then something magical happened. I heard something in a note shift. Just ever so slightly, regaining some of its lost fullness. My heart jumped against my rib cage at it, like a baby bird too eager to be out of the nest. The sound broadened and deepened, spinning and growing to an unimaginable size and intensity, filled with such thought and memory as one can only know inside themselves. I couldn’t imagine that something of such monumental size was coming from such a tiny person and her instrument- no, her partner. Her friend. It had to be her friend to join her in all this.

The graceful creature grew and grew on when I thought it could grow more. Time had lost all meaning to me as it tapered and streamlined itself into something lighter- losing its weight and despair- but not its memory. That stayed. I could feel it within me, too- the warmth that was spreading through the song. It touched at my fingers and toes, the tip of my nose, and the center of my belly. I let out a breath as the weight- the vacuum, whatever it was- released, no longer afraid of it or drowning out the soaring melody that cozied into the corners of the resting place of me and so many others that had experienced what this other child was experiencing right now.

But I knew, as the music carried on through the night, a peaceful balance between love and light and sorrow, that she was going to be just fine. We were all going to be just fine.

This inspired me so i tried it came up with this so far

Things have been difficult lately. Even breathing seems to take a lot of effort. But grief often shuts people down. And everything seems to blur out. You must be wondering what broke me? Nothing just the same old heartbreak that broke souls in every time period.

That night I made my way Aden’s house. We had been dating for almost four years. He had asked me to marry him a week ago and I had to ask my parents if they accepted they’re daughter to get married at 21. To my surprise my parents had said yes and I was on my way to blow Aden’s mind with the amazing news. I rang his doorbell several times even though I knew where they key to the door was kept but manners were still important. After fifteen minutes of standing out the door my mind started exploding with thoughts I shouldn’t be thinking about. Aden’s car was still parked in the garage which meant that he was still home. I rushed to get the keys from under a plant pot and opened the door. Aden’s house was a mess but Aden was a clean freak. I made my way to Aden’s room and gently opened the door to see my whole world crashing in front of me.

Aden lay in bed with another women pressed to his side as they slept. No words, no tears just an apology. Just two words “ I’m sorry “ and I ran down the stairs, across the street and away from the person I had given my everything.

You see every person leaves a mark behind. But Aden , Aden left behind the deepest scars.

(please don’t judge, I’m only 12. And btw I’m a girl. I’m using my dad’s account)

It’s dark. My own shadows drown me. This is nothing new to me though, I’m not shocked or scared. Just lonely. Nothing to look forward to I’ll thing myself sitting and think, hoping. I don’t know how long this lasts, seconds, minutes, hours. I can’t sense the time passing, I don’t fully understand it. I don’t know how I got here or when I’ll leave. My life feels like it has no meaning. But yet, somehow I feel like I’m waiting for something, this longing for something to happen. But at this moment in time…I’m not really sure. I must have had more than this life, I must have lived in something different, color, happiness, friends, family….love…maybe, or is that me dreaming?

Have I lost my mind completely now. Maybe I’m not even here, In this darkness. Am I just mad? Why am I even asking…I’ll never get an answer. Sitting here hoping dreaming will do me no good! I must fight back. I’m not sure what I’m fighting for but if I do have a motive to fight then it must be worth it. Without thinking I lunge into the dark clouds. Fighting, not with any weapons but just by my longing for whatever is outside this lonely cage. The chains of my fear and uncertainty tug at my arms pulling me back but using all my force I shake them off and continue forward through the endless darkness…This place must end. There must be an ending for me, more than this dark realm. I jump forward, ready to scream as I hit the floor but I don’t have to. I didn’t fall…Am I..floating?

No, I don’t feel like I’m standing. I feel something on my hand but I can’t see what it is or even move to shake it off. Then I suddenly realize. The thought that I’ll no longer be lonely, this thing I feel, it’s a person. These thoughts, my feelings they allow me to take control. I slowly open my eyes. It all shoots my at once colour…light! I’m lying down on a bed, a hospital bed. My memories come soaring back. I look over to my right hand and see the lady holding it, in shock, but smiling brightly. It’s my mother! And in what seems like the longest time ever…I smile.

Clark stood at the window and watch as the first snow started to fall. He thought back to when he was a little boy and how he loved to go outside and play in the snow. The snowmen him and his sister would build, the snowball fights him and his friends would have. Then his smile changed to a sad face. He remember the last first snow fall that happen when he was a kid. That was the last time he was happy about seeing the snow. Clark’s father Ernest was at the local convenience store, when two mask men came in to rob the place. One of the robbers told Ernest to give him his wallet. He did but a long noise from the back of the store in scared the robber that he jumped and the gun he had pointed at Clark’s father went off and shot him in the chest.

Clark was home in the bed, but he jumped up out of his sleep, he felt that something was wrong. He got out the bed and went looking for his mother. When he got to the end of the hall he saw his mother at the door talking to some police. She turned when she heard the floor Creek. ” Clark honey, what are you doing up”? His mother asked with blood soaking red eyes . ” mother is everything alright? ” with every step he took closer to his mother he knew that what ever reason the police was at his house it wasn’t good. Every since that Dreadful night Clark, the night his dad was killed, he has hated the snow. It always seems to remind him of that night. It’s like all the good times he had in the snow was replace by the death of his dad, his hero, the man he wanted to grow up and be. They never did find the guys that robbed that convenience store.

Conceited Conflict

Simon did not die…

The inviting aroma of freshly brewed coffee had been enough to persuade him to walk straight into the little beach-side shack without as much as a second thought. He had made a mental note to thank Danny–his colleague and friend–for suggesting the place for a quick getaway.

People close to Simon knew that he savored these small pleasures of life: a peaceful evening relaxing at the beach, the blushing horizon as the sun set for the day, the scents of the tropical sea, the areca nut trees swaying to the music of the breeze, the waves at the shallow end lightly caressing his feet, the warm texture of the sand slipping away beneath his toes, children running around flying colorful kites… cocoa-rich dark chocolates, and fresh coffee.

And why not? After all, he thought, what was life without these? Nothing but a stressful grind, it was. To fight the distressing official battles day in and day out. To struggle to defeat the unethical schemes of the back-stabbing lot who lurked among colleagues and friends. To come back home to the nagging demands of a materialistic spouse. All that did nothing good for the soul.

It was late evening when Simon had walked toward the shack. When he got closer, he had noticed two men standing engulfed by the dark shadows behind the shack. Although he could not discern their features, and they were speaking only in whispers, their body language had betrayed the fact that they had been exchanging an agitated conversation.

As Simon was about to enter the shack, one of the men thrust a wad of money into the other’s hand. The other man briefly regarded the bundle before stuffing it into his trouser pocket.

A drug deal, likely–Simon had thought–or some other such shady business. How could these people come to such spectacular and peaceful places and engage in such disreputable and squalid acts? What a disgusting lot!

He had shaken his head to clear his thoughts, and inhaled deeply as he entered the shack. Freshly brewed coffee! He had smiled as he sat at a small, round, plastic table in a corner. All other concerns would have to wait for half an hour, at least.

Outside, unknown to Simon, the deal had been concluded. The men had followed up by exchanging a small vial of some sort. Then one of them had raised the hood of his jacket over his head and walked away swiftly without turning back, with his hands in his pockets. The other man had vanished into the darker shadows behind the shack.

The next afternoon…

Although–when it concerned professional life–Danny lacked severely in the department of moral and ethical values, he was regarded in their circles as a gem when it concerned friendship. He had rushed to the hospital at once when Simon’s wife had called. Dysentery–she had told him, repeating the doctor’s diagnosis–perhaps acute food poisoning. Very severe symptoms. Quite unbearable. Must have been something he ate yesterday.

Danny had stayed on at the hospital with Simon’s wife to lend her moral and emotional support. He wanted to make sure–he had said–that she got all the help she needed; he wanted to make sure that Simon recovered all right.

The third evening…

Simon rested motionless on a bed at St Sebastian Hospital. Motionless. Still. He wasn’t even breathing. He was finally free of all suffering.

Epilogue 1…

Normally, convincing a chemist and obtaining the required substance might have been the biggest challenge. On this occasion, however, a well-maintained friendship with a pharmaceutical assistant had proved quite rewarding.

The rest was simple to plan and execute. Simple did not mean without risk, but in this case the desired reward would be sufficient compensation for the risk.

The dosage would be just right. The doctor would have only the patient’s symptoms to go on, which would be easily mistaken for those of common diseases such as food poisoning or dysentery.

It would all be over even before anyone suspected foul play. Even if other signs did manifest afterwards, there was no incriminating evidence.

Epilogue 2…

Simon had felt the first signs of fatigue when he was almost half way back home from his getaway spot. He had believed that the nausea was caused by travel-sickness. Later that night his condition had become worse, and next morning he had tried home remedies for diarrhea. By afternoon, he had started discharging blood, and had to be hospitalized immediately.

Danny had stood by his bed in the hospital, looking in his weak eyes, holding his hand reassuringly. Behind those heavy eyelids, in those weak eyes about to close, Danny had seen a faint spark of realization. The reality of the deal he had witnessed behind the coffee shack had dawned on Simon. I wish you understood, my friend–Danny had thought–that it was nothing personal, that everything is fair in professional rivalry. In any case, it was too late now. There was no turning back.

Don’t strain yourself trying to talk–Danny had said–Just close your eyes, let go and relax.

— End —

(I’m only 12 so don’t judge me, I tried :D)

I’m alone. I’m surrounded by darkness. I’m lonely, I have no-one except silence to keep me company. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here…Minutes, hours….days? They mean nothing to me, I don’t know how time passes and why it matters. I’m too close to giving up. Surely my life must mean something. I can’t have been made to just be nothing, to exist only feeling, loneliness and fear. The fear of being forgotten, by this world, by myself. If I’m not already.

There must be meaning for me, something bugger, better. It’s all I want, all I ever dream about. A life with meaning, color, happiness…family. But that’s just a dream. That can’t be real, I have no memories out of this place why would I be suddenly be gifted such happiness. Is this it? I am going mad? Have I been here so long just lost my mind? No. That can’t be. I can’t give up, I must try….try escape this realm of darkness. I stand up, shaking slightly. No, I must be strong! I run forward, not sure where I’m going. Not sure if this place even ends.

I start hearing voices, they’re speaking to me… “stay…strong…everything’s going to be ok” I hear the voice saying. It was comforting, gentle and kind sounded. It sounds familiar….I run faster, using all of strength. I race through the darkness, wind smacking my face until I come to what looks like the edge. It was a drop, so deep I couldn’t see the bottom. Without thinking, using all my desire, the want to be somewhere with meaning and happiness I lunge forward and jump.

I…I didn’t fall. I’m alive, I think. I don’t feel like I’m standing. Wait, am I floating? No, don’t be silly. I’m…lying. I feel something touch my hand but I don’t have strength to even shake it off. I can’t see anything…Then suddenly reality hits me. I slowly open my eyes…It all hits me at once: Color, sound, people. I look over to my right hand to see who was holding it. She was crying but smiling at the same time. It was mother. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, I smiled.

“I’m borrowing one of your geese.”

Asta jumped in her seat by the fireplace, woken from her accidental nap. She whirled in her seet to see Jeppa, the slightly unhinged neighbour, filling the doorframe. He looked like any regular farmer, brown coveralls and pipe dangling from the side of his mouth, but sported a permanent wide-eyed stare that made the children (and everyone else) wary of him. Asta had half a mind to go back to sleep and let Jeppa be Jeppa, but curiousity got the best of her.

“Pardon?” She asked, slowly getting up, her arthritis crackling in her knees. “You’re borrowing what?”

“I’m borrowing one of your geese,” He repeated, unblinking. Then he turned on the spot, as if the conversation was over and done with.

“But why?” Asta exclaimed, hopping after him on stiff legs into the front yard. Three of her large, snowy geese were drowsily waddling through the hole in her white fence as Jeppa marched over and seized one of them by the neck. The other two hurried into a nearby hedgerow, abandoning their brother to fate. Jeppa stood there for a moment and admired the view over Asta’s fields, completely obvious to the furious flapping and hissing of the goose.

“What are you doing? Let go of him!” Asta cried, but Jeppa remained blissfully ignorant to the chaos he created.

“Beautiful day, isn’t it?” Jeppa sighed happily, still unblinking. Then, remembering why he was strangling a goose, he heaved it up under one arm and took off towards his own rickety cottage a few hundred yards down the gravel road.

“Wait!” Asta cried, limping after him. When she finally caught up to him he was crawling up a worn ladder propped against his roof, hissing goose tucked into his armpit as if it was nothing more than the daily newspaper.

Finding her best old-angry-crone voice, she howled; “Jeppa! Get down this instant! What on earth are you doing with Herman?”

This seemed to reach the decision centre in Jeppa’s head, and he stopped on the topmost rung. He stared at the wobbly chimney for a moment, as if pondering its existence, before replying. “I can’t afford a chimney sweep,” he commented simply. Then, with both hands, he heaved the goose up in one fluent motion and dumped it into the chimney. The hissing and flapping increased in volume, projected into the open air by the narrow chimney, until it became unbearable to listen to. Then it stopped. The goose must have fallen into his fireplace.

Asta’s mouth fell open. She sat down on her bum like a baffled toddler.

“Are you alright there? You look like you saw a ghost!” Jeppa chuckled obliviously as he descended from the roof and moved to let the goose out of his kitchen. The moment the door opened, a great, fluffy black thing scuttled out and down the road, hisses and quacks flying about it like the soot covering it.

“That,” Asta said, her voice quivering, “was my prized competition goose, Herman.”

Jeppa finally seemed to realise the extent of his actions. Wringing his hands he inched towards the door, hoping to use it for protection when she exploded, which she was bound to do.

“Isn’t… isn’t there a competition for black geese, perhaps?” Jeppa asked, hopefully unblinking.

Most short story ideas I have are too big write in just one sitting. The first one I wrote took months. It’s why I can’t write flash fiction.

I’m trying to write Flash Fiction. I love the challenge. It’s amazing how you can cut out redundant word from each editing. Try it, Sebastian. It’s good practice.

Okay, here goes: Persephone, Persephone Akeldama. She was a beautiful girl, slender waist, flowing blonde locks, petite figure. This quiet girl was often referred to by her fellow students as the “perfect doll”, due to her stunning looks and the love she received from the teachers. In a the darker half of this world, her nickname was not much different. The flawless puppet, she was called. Flawless because of her swift assassinations, and puppet because of her emotionless features. No one in school knew her profession, and no one in the dark world knew her real age, or even what she looked like. She was a complete mystery to both sides, only this was known about her: She is a prodigy. Of course, “Prodigy” meaning different things in either sides of the world. There was a large gap between prodigy killer and prodigy student. Not many assassins are born into their jobs, Persephone being an exception. At three, she was already trained to fight, and at the early age of twelve, she was already a well known assassin. due to her quick learning, her parents payed even more attention to her, punishing her whenever her actions did not fit into the range of perfection, training her more than any twelve year old should ever have to endure. And of course, making her kill. One by one, Persephone’s emotions died, every person she killed, every order she received. She carried them out with swift and deadly accuracy, losing all her innocence. Her purity was lost long ago.

So she found nothing wrong with killing her parents.

Persephone never loved anyone, because she was a killing machine, exactly how her parents had designed her. Her mothers last words: I’m so proud. Her fathers? :I’ve trained you well. A now orphaned Persephone felt no remorse, no guilt, no grief. Only a small pang of loneliness.

And that was the last emotion she would ever feel.

Ummmm, I got the juices flowing, just need my writing to flow……in the right direction.

So I combined all 10 of the “general ideas” into one premise. I think this is more the premise of a collection now… Oh well. Here’s the premise (or the rough draft)

As a child, Kell, a painting prodigy, discovers her parents’ dead bodies, leaving her emotionally scarred. Later in life, she clings to her boyfriends for moral support, which leads to many failed relationships. Her Fiance and colleague breaks up with her because he needs to spend more time on his work, even though it crushes both of them. Kell doesn’t look when she’s walking down the street, sobbing, and she bumps into her rich soulmate, Neil. They have a whirlwind romance, which ends up with their marriage. On their honeymoon, though, Kell’s mother’s ghost confronts her and warns her to delay the journey. Kell and Neil go anyways. A hurricane strikes, and the couple is stranded with a phycopath who just so happen to be Kell’s parents’ murderer. The couple doesn’t make it out alive.

I know that’s pretty dark, especially for a 17-year-old. It’s also not that great. But hey, I hope it gave you an idea or two! Happy writing!

You should really think about turning this into a novel! You’ve got quite the imagination.

The last laugh Kate Bester

“What? Oh heavens no! When?” Faye dragged the pink sweatband back from her forehead and shook her shoulder length blonde hair off her neck. She had just returned from the gym when the house phone rang.

“…sometime last night, peacefully. She had to go sometime, Faye.” Debbie’s longsuffering voice was irritating.

Faye sighed and shifted the weight from one shapely leg to the other. She crossed one ankle over the other and stared at her Reebok trainers. She bit her tongue before she could blurt out what came into her mind – why now? She had a very special and important occasion coming up and serious shopping to do!

“Mom was nearly eighty, you know Faye, but death is always unexpected, I know,” Debbie went on. Was she imagining it or was there a touch of accusation in Debbie’s voice? Deborah, her older sister, had never married. Instead, she stayed with Mom after Dad passed on ten years ago and took charge of the rambling old house in George. Come to think of it, when Debbie gave up nursing, moving in with Mom was the natural thing to do.

Faye had to muster all the self-control that she could to sound genuine and concerned. It was Mother after all…

“When is the funeral, then? Do you want me to come and help you with the arrangements?” she kept her voice low and even in case Debbie thought she was serious about the offer to help.

“No thanks, Faye, everything is fine. Mom had everything in place as usual. It will be a cremation of course…”

Debbie’s voice trailed off and Faye could just about suppress the groan that escaped from her chest before she said goodbye to her sister. She sank down in the closest, huge, overstuffed chair after she had put down the receiver. Of course. That is Mother. Well, was she corrected herself. Nothing ordinary or conventional. A cremation no less, so that all her old hippie friends could attend in their colourful rags and long hair and chant and blow their flutes and shake their tambourines. Faye had to admit to herself that a cremation at least would be better than embalmment. Her mother was quite capable of having them roll her in the scales of the boophone bulb like the Khoisan did with their dead.

Faye groaned again. She must be in shock otherwise why wasn’t she crying. Crying? No, she’d done enough crying after the second divorce in eight years. The last one was particularly messy but this time she stuck to her guns and got the house and a stiff alimony. Not that it’s about the money, which is never enough anyway, but one has to keep up appearances. She had spent a fortune on refurbishing the gazebo next to the pool. Oh gosh yes, and she must still pay for the embroidered voile curtains around the patio. And for the plant containers and cane furniture from Bali…

Faye sighed as she levered her challenged limbs from the chair. She will have a warm shower and then make her calls. Damn! Now she will have to drive all the way to George. She smiled. Yes, she will have to. Because of Mother’s pendant. She had to have it. Must be worth a small fortune by now…

That pendant was given to her mother by a very grateful Indian businessman. Mother had met him on a plane to Mumbai all those years ago when she travelled to India to see for herself what mysteries lay behind the lotus curtain. She ended up in his luxurious home and taught the whole family to speak English while she enjoyed every facet of that exquisite culture. If memory doesn’t fail her, the pendant has a top quality eleven carat flawless ruby, enhanced by… a shiver of delight passed through Faye’s body despite the warm gush of water.

At the garage to fill up and prepare the vehicle for the trip, she remembered how bored she was on weekends as a child. They travelled endless dusty roads, slept in tents, either sweating or freezing. Her botanist parents would be off in the veld , ooohing or aaahing, clicking their tongues and cameras. Deborah would be whooping somewhere in a shallow river. In her tent, her feet against the anchor pole, Faye swore she would never live this way. She would have money and everything it could buy. These bunny-hugging weirdo’s – her family – may enjoy the outdoors but she despised the smell of citronella candles, morning coffee and tinned food. Not to mention the squatting behind a bush when nature called. Ugh!

At nine o’clock the next morning, Faye was over the Overberg Pass and heading for Caledon. She would stop for tea at the Blue Crane and buy some of her mother’s favourite dried herbs. Yes, some buchu and lavender and rosemary. She’ll keep them on her lap during the cremation service and speeches to soothe her mind. Afterwards she will let them join her mother’s body to nirvana…

It was exactly twenty past one when she saw the huge pine trees and the red brick house behind it. The garden was a botanist’s dream. Like her mother exactly – colourful, mysterious, exciting and completely unusual. Faye’s eyes followed the garden path up to the porch. Handfuls of laurel tied with raffia or beads or leather thongs garnished the pathway from the gate to the porch and around the open door’s frame where fairy lights twinkled.

She opened the car door and slid off the seat. The manicured feet in the Blahnik sandals stepped together neatly on the tarmac as she automatically pressed the remote lock. Gingerly she approached the garden path and as daintily as possible made her way to the house.

Then it hit her. This wasn’t a welcome for her. The laurel symbolized Apollo’s way to remember his Daphne! Daphne didn’t want to marry Apollo and begged her father, Perenaeus, to hide her. He promptly turned her into a laurel tree. From then on Apollo worshipped the tree, hugged it, spoke to it and let all heroes and kings wear a laurel wreath on the head as adornment. This was for Mother.

Suddenly, there was her sister. Oh heavens, clad in a flowing caftan, pearls, beads, feathers and leather thong sandals, she could’ve been Mother!

Quickly Faye went over and folded her sister in her arms. While her sister was yoga-breathing against her shoulder, she took in the room behind. She smiled to herself . Ostrich feather boas were draped over the window frames, door frames and thrown over the backs of chairs. Huge black and white photographs of ostriches in all poses adorned the walls. Ostrich eggs and paraphernalia were displayed everywhere. This was a shrine to the ostrich as Nieuw-Bethesda was to the owl…

She let go of Debbie and cleared her throat. She took a deep breath, “Debs, what are we going to do with all this stuff ?” she hoped her chicanery would go undetected. Back in her mind there was an image of Mother’s ostrich leather handbags, shoes and purses she had collected before it became export posh. Her heart went on a gallop from excitement and anticipation.

At last they were alone. They cleared away the last few cups and plates. In the kitchen, Faye poured two large tumblers of Merlot for her and her sister.

“Sis, if you’re up to it, we can go through Mom’s things and decide what to do about some of it.”

“Of course, my dear.” Faye gulped.

Then the pendant was in the palm of her hand. This was a testing moment. She wanted to hang it around her neck immediately but thought it would seem callous. She let the heavy gold chain slide sensuously through her fingers while the ruby’s red eye winked at her.

“You have it, Faye, it’s too ostentatious for me. Mom also never wore it for that reason.”

“And these, Sis.” Debbie was on all fours in front of a deep drawer. She was pulling out ostrich leather gloves in every colour, handbags, clutch bags, more boas. They lay on the Kelim carpet like offerings to a queen. Faye stared and stared. “Oh yes!” her mind sang.

After breakfast the next day, Faye took her leave of Debbie who promised to visit as soon as everything was tied up and settled. When she was passing Mossel Bay, she started to relax and fingered the pendant at her throat. A warm glow filled her and she stretched to see it again in the rear mirror. It was an exquisite piece! She still felt surprised at how nonchalant Debbie was.

She decided to stop for refreshments outside Swellendam. She enjoyed stretching her legs in the shade of the old trees and watching the goats, chickens and ostriches they kept there for entertainment. She parked in the shade of a huge oak tree and went to the restaurant. She carried her fruit juice over to the enclosure on the lawn. A billy goat came towards her. Behind him a young ostrich craned its neck. A sheep, two lambs and a kid trotted up. Faye leaned forward.

She shrieked, jumped back and feverishly fumbling at her throat, she saw it

Ostriches also like jewellery.

I have not written a very long piece. It a quite short story. So…here it is…

Sydney woke up with a start, as beads of sweat adorned her furrowed brows. Next to her was her twin sister, Tanya, sleeping peaceful as Sydney had been a couple of moments before. She looked around as if searching for something or someone. Sydney almost dismissed the episode and went back to sleep when she heard it again, this time, even evident. The sound that had woken her up from her slumber. The sound that made her shiver and was even vexing than the sound of nails on chalkboard.

And then, it stopped. She looked around her for the source of what she heard. She decided to get some fresh air and walked out of the room she shared with her twin.

As she walked to the porch, she glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She couldn’t put her finger on what was wrong but she knew something was. She leaned in to get a closer look at her reflection when something hit her head and she fainted. When she regained her consciousness, she looked around her. She was in the porch and it was dawn. She went back into her house when she glanced at the mirror again. She could see her mother, her sister and her father. They all looked around as if searching for someone. What she couldn’t understand was why she couldn’t see her reflection in the mirror. Then, realization struck her like a ton of bricks. She was in the other side. Of the mirror.

Then the ending credits rolled in. Though it was just a trailer, it was well shot. Everyone couldn’t wait to see the full movie. We congratulated our friend, Mills, who had shot the film and went to hang out at her place.

Wonderful ideas. Thanks for inspiration.

*I’ve been wanting to write for a long time but never really got the push until right now. Sorry if it’s bad, it’s my first short and I’m 14* “One, two, three. Perfect, now I can go…” I quietly say to myself. I have something called Pure-O. Some people think that it’s worse than “normal OCD”. The others think that it’s completely unreal and it’s made up. What people don’t know about me is that I have Pure-O and it’s completely real and my life revolves around it. I make sure that people don’t find out about it because I am considered “ popular and high-status” where I live. “ Happy, good thoughts. Nothing bad.” I think to myself. “They won’t find out….hopefully. I am Claire Williams who has the best makeup and the straightest hair. Not the Crazy Williams girl that broke down in front of everyone because her presentation wasn’t how she planned it.” I think. Then the flashbacks swoop in and fill my brain. “Hi my name is Claire Williams and I am doing my presentation on the Economic Downfall of 2008…” I pause and look around. I see people snicker and talking. The teacher is just looking at me and gesturing for me to continue. I get scared and forget everything that I worked so hard to memorize. “Umm. I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t finish.” I tell my Economics teacher. When I try to move and collect everything, I can’t move. “No no no no no this can’t be happening. I can’t be having a panic attack at school.” I think to myself. I feel tears well up into my eyes. They slowly fall down my face and I taste the warm salty fluid. I suddenly tense up and can’t breath. Because no one knows about my condition, no one can help me. “Look! Williams is going crazy! Crazy Williams.” I hear people snicker from the back and the attack gets worse. I hear something new in my flashback…. It sounds almost as a ringing. I realize the bell is ringing for the students to get to class. I come back to reality and hope for the best on my first day of Senior year. I mean after all, it’s just school. Nothing bad could happen right?

PEN-082a 694w Anne Frank, Bella and Me by Helen Kudatsky

At nine, I bought my mom, Bella, a birthday gift on June 12th, a magenta lipstick for 19c. I was so proud. First present I ever purchased. She made me return it; It was too extravagant, and besides, she said, “every day is my birthday.” I cried. I knew her secret though. although a proper Jewish woman, sometimes she longed to be a gypsy.

Now, 60 years later, I’m reading “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank, here in the home where I live. Though nursed, I’m often blue that I can’t dance or paint anymore. But I love to read and write, and my friend, Julie, the librarian, kindly brought me Anne’s book, which I am now devouring.

Anne was an eloquent writer, describing her schoolmates and boyfriends. She began the diary at 13, disclosing her first period, having a special secret and becoming a woman. I too began to menstruate at 13, pondering the mystery. It’s horrid to imagine eight people in 1944, crammed into the Secret Annexe, handling eating, sleeping, hygiene and trying to stay alive, while whispering and tiptoeing to avoid discovery by the Gestapo.

To maintain normalcy, the adults set up a plan. The children continued their studies: Dutch, French, English, history, geography and art. Although Anne liked most subjects, she found algebra notably loathsome. I’m in that club too.

Her people have become my friends and family: Anne Frank herself, Edith, her Mummy, Otto, her beloved father, Margot, her sister, and the others hiding with them: the VanDaans, their son, Peter who was first, her friend, then later, her crush and confidant, Dr. Albert Dussel, the dentist and Moortjie, the cat. Four of Otto’s devoted employees provided food, supplies and world news, which kept them alive and boosted their morale.

After the war, Miep, a helper, found Anne’s diary in the demolished remains and rubble of the annexe. She gave it to Otto, the sole survivor of the group. He was stunned by Anne’s maturity and the breadth of her feelings. The Diary has been published in 67 languages, portrayed on stage and screen, and is considered one of the most moving accounts of the Holocaust.

For those of us beholding atrocity, Anne Frank is a beacon: humorous, inquisitive, forgiving, cheerful. Sometimes moody, though, she was nicknamed “the incurable chatterbox.” as she’d quarrel with others in the Secret Annexe they occupied for their 25 months in hiding.

My mom, Bella, shared a birthday with Anne Frank, June 12th, but didn’t know of it until years after Anne’s death. Bella lived to be 95. She loved reading as much as Anne did, and she wrote poetry and stories, but didn‘t start until middle-age. Anne, 15, died in March 1945, just two weeks before the war’s end, when she would have been liberated. In two years of hiding, Anne was devoted to writing in the diary, at times prosaic, sometimes distraught, frequently terrifying, but often funny, spiritual and uplifting.

If the war had only ended sooner, I imagine the writing that Anne could have produced and I envision Bella meeting her. Bella, born in 1913, Anne in 1929, 16 years her junior, they could have been aunt and niece; I see them sharing a Shabbat dinner, singing a Hanukah song; I picture them speaking one of their languages. They believed in the same things. Finally, I dream of them proudly sharing their writings, a mystery, a story of love and longing, a poem, and of course, on June 12th, their mutual birthday.

I dream of them walking hand in hand, pale wrinkled fingers holding a smooth teenaged palm. They come to a table set before them, on it matzoh brei with applesauce, a plate of potato latkes with sour cream. There are apples and honey, wine and rugalech. Bella and Anne eat heartily and shout for joy, no longer whispering or tiptoeing, no longer afraid to be Jewish women writers, no longer afraid at all.

PEN-082a-Anne Frank, Bella and Me.wps by Helen Kudatsky w:09/03/17 ei 09/19/17 694 wds 08 mn 99 Park St.#104 Brookline,MA 02446 C-617-939-3387 e-m: [email protected]

My story plot is of the fantasy/adventure type.

In the fictional town of Surron, Colorado (which is surrounded by high mountainsides from every angle, a tragedy occurs on September 5, 1963. Six-year old Robert “Bert” Aruson witnesses his drunken, abusive father murder his mother with a broken beer bottle. Advancing on him, the father sleeps on another discarded bottle and trips, impaling himself on the bottle with which he killed his wife. Robert runs off into the forest to escape his father to look of help, unaware of his father’s death. With his parents living far back into the woods, he ends becoming lost and spending the night in the forest. A mother bear, Dewa, with two cubs of her own, the boy Gemape and girl Biha, discover the young boy and adopt him into their family, christening him with the new name Nuun. Ten years later in 1973, Nuun has led a happy existence with his loving and supportive new family, having even made new friends like the crow Hai and the mouse Naeene. He even prevented unnecessary violence between his family and a wolf pack led by Dande and Gupa. Any hunters that come into the forest have their weapons stolen and permanently disposed of in the night by Nuun. By this time, Nuun and his actions have become something of an urban legend in Surron. Back in that town, the mayor Aaron Burdon (who resides upon a hill overlooking the town) runs the town, though he views it with contempt due to one incident. His younger brother, Reagan, was beaten by thugs hoping to steal money off of his rich person, leaving him with brain damage. Despite this, the townspeople started treating him and his brother differently afterwards, cruelly even. This has caused his hatred to ferment over the years until he comes up with a plan to destroy the town’s population with explosives at the upcoming July 4 picnic. His wealth and power make the workers unable to resist him, as they will become jobless should he imprisoned. “Nuun” comes across one of Burdon’s worksites and almost steals workers lunchbox, but is chased away. News soon spreads through the town and Nuun finds his happy life in danger of being shattered once again unless he can have assistance from friends both human and animal.

Nikita This is the story of me, Nikita, an orphaned girl, who didn’t know anything about her family. I was kept in the orphanage with a bunch of other girls. Ms.Keeper, the owner of the orphanage doesn’t tell anyone anything about themselves or their family. I didn’t know anything about myself, but everyone knew that in Ms.Keepers room there was a filing cabinet with documents of the real stories of our lives. Nobody ever dared to go in there though. Ms.Keeper looked like she was somewhere in the 30’s, she had grey hair, bags under her brown eyes, a slim body and a huge pimple on her long nose. She was not married. I have brown hair, brown eyes, freckles and a healthy, slim body.

I always thought of running away. I felt like I was in that orphanage forever. I remember growing up in there since I was a child and now that I’m 17 years old, I’m still here, hoping to find my family. But that, I thought was too unrealistic. I was sitting in an orphanage, hoping to find my family. No, I wanted to DO something to find my family. The only thing that held me back was Ms.Keeper and the thought that I really had no family. Ms.Keeper was always afraid of one of the girls running away, that’s why she made some workers put a stronger fence around the orphanage property. Ms.Keeper was also afraid of talking to the government. I thought so because the government will shut down her orphanage. One time, I overheard Ms.Keeper talking on the phone to the government and they said that it was illegal to not show the orphans their identity and who they are, but Ms.Keeper ignored them and kept talking about something else. Also, at 18 years old, you are free to leave the orphanage and become independent. I just turned 17. No one else was my age except another girl, aged 14 and all the rest were smaller than her. There was once a girl named Gabby who was the only person who was older than me. Just last year, she turned 18 and was supposed to go. On her birthday, Ms.Keeper made an announcement at the last moment that Gabby was leaving right now and is right by the door. Every girl ran out to give her hugs and goodbyes. Ms.Keeper didn’t even move. She didn’t even say bye. It was so cruel of her. We didn’t have a birthday cake with Gabby because Ms.Keeper threw her out the door on her birthday!

Everyday, Ms.Keeper lets us go outside for one hour, three times a day. We ate mostly sandwiches and drank water and sometimes juice. We also had some snacks, which were mostly fruits. We did school during the day too but this wasn’t real school. Ms.Keeper taught us everything. Ms.Keeper also bought us a TV, which was in the dining room. We mostly had everything we needed, except a family.

One day, when Ms.Keeper let us go outside, I was lying on the grass by myself at the farthest point from the orphanage. Then all of a sudden I heard someone coming. I looked up but saw no one. When I turned around, I saw a boy, looked like he was 15. He had brown hair, blue eyes and was tall. He said “hi” to me and I said “hi” back. We talked to each other for awhile until Ms.Keeper called us in. I really hoped that Ms.Keeper didn’t see me talk to that boy because she would punish me.

For the next three days, I talked to that boy over the fence every recess. He told me about his life and it really surprised me. He said he had a house as big as the whole orphanage (the orphanage is as big as a hotel). He said he had his mom and dad living with him, that he has money, any kind of drink, and lots of junk food. He played video games everyday and watched TV and also he quit school. His mom and dad don’t care about what he does as long as he’s home by midnight! When he told me this, I started thinking, is every life out there like his? What is everyone’s else’s life like? I couldn’t sleep that night or any other night after that day.

Soon, we became friends and he asked if the orphanage was boring. I didn’t even know what to say because it was alright living in the orphanage but compared to his life, it was nothing. I didn’t say anything and he asked if I wanted to run away to his house. I, of course, was surprised and didn’t say anything for awhile but then I said I would think about it. Ms.Keeper called us inside, and I don’t know why but she never caught me talking to him. Ms.Keeper usually stands by the door of the orphanage, looking into the field of how we are playing. I was farthest away from her so maybe she doesn’t see so well.

After those days, I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking of running away. But how was I supposed to run away? If I got caught, I would be punished and I would have to be a slave to everyone, washing dishes, sweeping, and cleaning. Besides, I couldn’t run away because we all slept in rooms with four people to each room. Our room was the farthest away from the exit. I would have to tip-toe (at night?!?) through the whole orphanage just to get to the exit. No, I couldn’t do it. I was too scared. But that boy kept assuring me that everything will be okay.

I talked it over with the boy and I decided to run away with him at night, at 11pm because he had to be home by 12pm. By 8pm, all the girls in the orphanage would be sleeping, but Ms.Keeper stays up till 10pm, listening to classical music in her favourite rocking chair. As not to wake Ms.Keeper, the boy suggested that he would come to my window at night and I would climb over. Our room was on the lowest level – level one- so it was the closest to the ground. It was supposed to happen in two days from then. I was very nervous and scared, and I kept looking at Ms.Keeper if she had any suspicions, but it didn’t look like it.

It was the day of the run. I packed all my stuff, which wasn’t really much. I put all my clothes in my pockets (it fit perfectly). I was wide awake that night, listening till Ms.Keeper turned off her classical music and went to bed. It was perfectly silent. You could hear every single breath of the girls. My tummy had a trillion butterflies in it and I couldn’t stop my heavy breathing. At 11pm, there was a quiet knock at my window and I knocked back. That was our signal for letting each other know we were ready. I then looked at everyone in the room. They were sound asleep. I opened the window and it’s super squeaky. I waited a moment to see if anyone woke up, but no one moved. I climbed over the window to the boy. I closed the window with a loud squeak and started running with the boy to wherever my feet let me go. It was a dark night and only the half-lit moon was our source of light. The boy led me through streets and streets of houses until we came to a huge house. It was so pretty. It looked like the orphanage but it had no spiderwebs. It was clean and super nice. It looked like they were rich to have all those diamond stuff on the door.

They boy opened the door and the light hurt my eyes. It was so bright in there, so big. The stairs were curved, like I only saw in fairy tales, and there was his mom standing in the doorway. She first smiled, but when she saw me, she made a confused face and came closer. I was so scared. What would his mom do? Did he tell his mom about me? My brain threw me a thousand questions to answer of which I didn’t know the answers for. The lady came closer and asked the boy slowly who I was. He told his mom that I was a friend from the orphanage. His mom got angry, her face started to turn red and she started to talk louder. She started saying that I’m filthy and that she doesn’t want to see me ever again and to get out off this house. I looked at the boy. He started to cry. I tear went down his cheek. He begged his mom to let her stay for the night but his mom didn’t budge. The boy’s mom shut the door on me and I was outside in the cold.

All of this was for nothing. This meet we had. All the recesses we talked, all the nights I didn’t sleep, and I couldn’t go back to the orphanage now. I was alone. I didn’t even know where to go. I got off the boys lawn and I sat down on the sidewalk, crying and I realized I didn’t even know what the boy’s name was! Suddenly, I heard a door open. I looked back to see if it was the boy’s mom. No, it wasn’t. I looked around and saw that the boy’s neighbor has opened the door and was calling me. The person at the door was a grandma. She told me to come in. I stood up and came inside. She told me that she heard the neighbors talking loudly so she went to see what the commotion was about. She asked me if I wanted to eat but I refused. She sent me to bed, not knowing anything about me. She was so kind to me. She sent me upstairs where I had my own room. I fell asleep very fast, and I slept till lunch the next day. I forgot all about the orphanage and went downstairs to meet my hero. She was making breakfast for me. We sat down at the table and she told me her name ( Grandma Laura ) and I told her all about my life. Every single thing. When I came to the part about the orphanage, her eyes widened.

Grandma Laura told me that many many years ago, she was the owner of the orphanage! The government fired her because they thought she wasn’t suitable for the job. When she went away, she made photocopies of the documents of the girls and kept them because the girls were so precious to her that she couldn’t just leave them. Grandma Laura stood up and went upstairs to go get them. When she came back down, she had a whole ton of documents! She found one by the name of Nikita.

That morning changed my life. She let me read my own document. It figures out that my real mom died while having me. My dad was still alive. My dad’s name was Walter Eggons. The grandma’s eyes widened when I told her the name of my dad. She told me that that was her husband! So Grandma Laura was my mom? She didn’t die? But Grandma told me the whole story. My dad, Walter, first married a lady named Agnes, and they had a baby named Nikita ( that was me) and during childbirth, Agnes died, but I lived. Later, my dad could no longer care after me so he dropped me off at the orphanage when I was 1 year’s old. For my dad, that was a hard decision. He had to work but he couldn’t leave me at home and there was no one to look after me. After my dad’s wife died, he married Laura. Laura was sitting in front of me, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. She then told me the saddest news- my dad died of cancer a couple months ago. I started choking back sobs, and then tears. Grandma Laura was the only family I had. She was my stepmother.

It has been seven years since that happened and right now I am sitting with tears in my eyes, telling you this. I live with my stepmom and my husband, Jeffrey. Turns out that after that day, I lived with my stepmom for a couple months but then the boy’s mom found out that I was still in this neighborhood. The boy was so happy to hear that, and he told me his name- Jeffrey Jones. We soon joined our friendship together and a couple months later, we were married. Also,he wasn’t 15 years old, like I thought, he was 17.

-Written by Nikita Eggons-Jones

I hope you like this so far tell me what to improve on.

Gunnvor is the daugter of a powerful samurai but that is only thing that they have in common. Her father is a ruthless man who fights for war, on the other hand Gunnvor fights for humanity, no one can see her true colors because they want to believe she wants bloodshed as well like her father. She hates their thoughts, imprisoned in her fathers hand, the only way to escape, is for some one, like her, to save her in the outside.

As she swoon her sword with grace she sliced the broom like heads off. Her father and mother were observing her progress as a warrior, when she was do she went to her parents and bowed. She left leaving them behind a cold chill settled on them, the mother knew why the father ignored. Gunnvor loved to walk in the town down below her house, all the people were Good-hearted and kind in every way. She sometimes is jealous of the children for having such free lives. But she does not listen to her selfish conscience, she walked across the flower bridge as a gentle men suddenly bumped into her. “Oh sorry about that I didn’t see you,” Gunnvor quickly got up embarrassed for fall. She looked up and saw man that was strong but kind, she then noticed that he didn’t recognized him, he look like he was from another country. She then suddenly pulled her sword pointed it near his neck. the man was taken aback, he looked shocked and then said ” Yes did I say some thing offensive.”

“your not from here are you,” She moved a little closer, her sword started to dig into skin. “Yea I’m just traveling, I came from the neighboring kingdom, I thought they were in good terms…..right?” He backed away a little from the sword cutting his neck. Gunnvor then lowered her sword slowly, The man rubbed his neck just to find that it is bleeding “by the way what is your name,” she sheathed her sword in it’s case. “My name is gunnvor,” He quickly whipped his head to her “What the, Gunnvor, the daugter of the samurai.”

“Yes.” she turned and started to walk away and stop slightly turned her head ” And you,”

“Uh my name is Cota.” he said then Gunnvor walked away, when she arrived at home she swept past her father to her bed room. That night she could not stop thinking of Cota, she thought how strange he was dressed and the way he looked. The next how ever her father again trained gunnvor, the train this time was diffrent, he was pushing her to far.

Many days have past and Gunnvor noticed that Cota was spotted many times near her house. Then when she training with her father which was basically torture, Cota came up to her father ” You will stop hurting her,” He said slowly and manically. However he was not moved “My wife has convinced you to protect her,”

“No I came In my own accord.” The father then spun and grabbed his sword and pointed to cota. “Well then can fight me,”

“We”l see,” cota grabbed his sword and the two fought, they fought for a few hours and the father was vanquished. Cota then went to Gunnvor and asked her hand in marriage.

Nikita This is the story of me, Nikita, an orphaned girl, who didn’t know anything about her family. I was kept in the orphanage with a bunch of other girls. Ms.Keeper, the owner of the orphanage doesn’t tell anyone anything about themselves or their family. I didn’t know anything about myself, but everyone knew that in Ms.Keepers room there was a filing cabinet with documents of the real stories of our lives. Nobody ever dared to go in there though. Ms.Keeper looked like she was somewhere in the 30’s, she had grey hair, bags under her brown eyes, a slim body and a huge pimple on her long nose. She was not married. I have brown hair, brown eyes, freckles and a healthy, slim body. I always thought of running away. I felt like I was in that orphanage forever. I remember growing up in there since I was a child and now that I’m 17 years old, I’m still here, hoping to find my family. But that, I thought was too unrealistic. I was sitting in an orphanage, hoping to find my family. No, I wanted to DO something to find my family. The only thing that held me back was Ms.Keeper and the thought that I really had no family. Ms.Keeper was always afraid of one of the girls running away, that’s why she made some workers put a stronger fence around the orphanage property. Ms.Keeper was also afraid of talking to the government. I thought so because the government will shut down her orphanage. One time, I overheard Ms.Keeper talking on the phone to the government and they said that it was illegal to not show the orphans their identity and who they are, but Ms.Keeper ignored them and kept talking about something else. Also, at 18 years old, you are free to leave the orphanage and become independent. I just turned 17. No one else was my age except another girl, aged 14 and all the rest were smaller than her. There was once a girl named Gabby who was the only person who was older than me. Just last year, she turned 18 and was supposed to go. On her birthday, Ms.Keeper made an announcement at the last moment that Gabby was leaving right now and is right by the door. Every girl ran out to give her hugs and goodbyes. Ms.Keeper didn’t even move. She didn’t even say bye. It was so cruel of her. We didn’t have a birthday cake with Gabby because Ms.Keeper threw her out the door on her birthday! Everyday, Ms.Keeper lets us go outside for one hour, three times a day. We ate mostly sandwiches and drank water and sometimes juice. We also had some snacks, which were mostly fruits. We did school during the day too but this wasn’t real school. Ms.Keeper taught us everything. Ms.Keeper also bought us a TV, which was in the dining room. We mostly had everything we needed, except a family. One day, when Ms.Keeper let us go outside, I was lying on the grass by myself at the farthest point from the orphanage. Then all of a sudden I heard someone coming. I looked up but saw no one. When I turned around, I saw a boy, looked like he was 15. He had brown hair, blue eyes and was tall. He said “hi” to me and I said “hi” back. We talked to each other for awhile until Ms.Keeper called us in. I really hoped that Ms.Keeper didn’t see me talk to that boy because she would punish me. For the next three days, I talked to that boy over the fence every recess. He told me about his life and it really surprised me. He said he had a house as big as the whole orphanage (the orphanage is as big as a hotel). He said he had his mom and dad living with him, that he has money, any kind of drink, and lots of junk food. He played video games everyday and watched TV and also he quit school. His mom and dad don’t care about what he does as long as he’s home by midnight! When he told me this, I started thinking, is every life out there like his? What is everyone’s else’s life like? I couldn’t sleep that night or any other night after that day. Soon, we became friends and he asked if the orphanage was boring. I didn’t even know what to say because it was alright living in the orphanage but compared to his life, it was nothing. I didn’t say anything and he asked if I wanted to run away to his house. I, of course, was surprised and didn’t say anything for awhile but then I said I would think about it. Ms.Keeper called us inside, and I don’t know why but she never caught me talking to him. Ms.Keeper usually stands by the door of the orphanage, looking into the field of how we are playing. I was farthest away from her so maybe she doesn’t see so well. After those days, I couldn’t sleep because I kept thinking of running away. But how was I supposed to run away? If I got caught, I would be punished and I would have to be a slave to everyone, washing dishes, sweeping, and cleaning. Besides, I couldn’t run away because we all slept in rooms with four people to each room. Our room was the farthest away from the exit. I would have to tip-toe (at night?!?) through the whole orphanage just to get to the exit. No, I couldn’t do it. I was too scared. But that boy kept assuring me that everything will be okay. I talked it over with the boy and I decided to run away with him at night, at 11pm because he had to be home by 12pm. By 8pm, all the girls in the orphanage would be sleeping, but Ms.Keeper stays up till 10pm, listening to classical music in her favourite rocking chair. As not to wake Ms.Keeper, the boy suggested that he would come to my window at night and I would climb over. Our room was on the lowest level – level one- so it was the closest to the ground. It was supposed to happen in two days from then. I was very nervous and scared, and I kept looking at Ms.Keeper if she had any suspicions, but it didn’t look like it. It was the day of the run. I packed all my stuff, which wasn’t really much. I put all my clothes in my pockets (it fit perfectly). I was wide awake that night, listening till Ms.Keeper turned off her classical music and went to bed. It was perfectly silent. You could hear every single breath of the girls. My tummy had a trillion butterflies in it and I couldn’t stop my heavy breathing. At 11pm, there was a quiet knock at my window and I knocked back. That was our signal for letting each other know we were ready. I then looked at everyone in the room. They were sound asleep. I opened the window and it’s super squeaky. I waited a moment to see if anyone woke up, but no one moved. I climbed over the window to the boy. I closed the window with a loud squeak and started running with the boy to wherever my feet let me go. It was a dark night and only the half-lit moon was our source of light. The boy led me through streets and streets of houses until we came to a huge house. It was so pretty. It looked like the orphanage but it had no spiderwebs. It was clean and super nice. It looked like they were rich to have all those diamond stuff on the door. They boy opened the door and the light hurt my eyes. It was so bright in there, so big. The stairs were curved, like I only saw in fairy tales, and there was his mom standing in the doorway. She first smiled, but when she saw me, she made a confused face and came closer. I was so scared. What would his mom do? Did he tell his mom about me? My brain threw me a thousand questions to answer of which I didn’t know the answers for. The lady came closer and asked the boy slowly who I was. He told his mom that I was a friend from the orphanage. His mom got angry, her face started to turn red and she started to talk louder. She started saying that I’m filthy and that she doesn’t want to see me ever again and to get out off this house. I looked at the boy. He started to cry. I tear went down his cheek. He begged his mom to let her stay for the night but his mom didn’t budge. The boy’s mom shut the door on me and I was outside in the cold. All of this was for nothing. This meet we had. All the recesses we talked, all the nights I didn’t sleep, and I couldn’t go back to the orphanage now. I was alone. I didn’t even know where to go. I got off the boys lawn and I sat down on the sidewalk, crying and I realized I didn’t even know what the boy’s name was! Suddenly, I heard a door open. I looked back to see if it was the boy’s mom. No, it wasn’t. I looked around and saw that the boy’s neighbor has opened the door and was calling me. The person at the door was a grandma. She told me to come in. I stood up and came inside. She told me that she heard the neighbors talking loudly so she went to see what the commotion was about. She asked me if I wanted to eat but I refused. She sent me to bed, not knowing anything about me. She was so kind to me. She sent me upstairs where I had my own room. I fell asleep very fast, and I slept till lunch the next day. I forgot all about the orphanage and went downstairs to meet my hero. She was making breakfast for me. We sat down at the table and she told me her name ( Grandma Laura ) and I told her all about my life. Every single thing. When I came to the part about the orphanage, her eyes widened. Grandma Laura told me that many many years ago, she was the owner of the orphanage! The government fired her because they thought she wasn’t suitable for the job. When she went away, she made photocopies of the documents of the girls and kept them because the girls were so precious to her that she couldn’t just leave them. Grandma Laura stood up and went upstairs to go get them. When she came back down, she had a whole ton of documents! She found one by the name of Nikita. That morning changed my life. She let me read my own document. It figures out that my real mom died while having me. My dad was still alive. My dad’s name was Walter Eggons. The grandma’s eyes widened when I told her the name of my dad. She told me that that was her husband! So Grandma Laura was my mom? She didn’t die? But Grandma told me the whole story. My dad, Walter, first married a lady named Agnes, and they had a baby named Nikita ( that was me) and during childbirth, Agnes died, but I lived. Later, my dad could no longer care after me so he dropped me off at the orphanage when I was 1 year’s old. For my dad, that was a hard decision. He had to work but he couldn’t leave me at home and there was no one to look after me. After my dad’s wife died, he married Laura. Laura was sitting in front of me, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks. She then told me the saddest news- my dad died of cancer a couple months ago. I started choking back sobs, and then tears. Grandma Laura was the only family I had. She was my stepmother. It has been seven years since that happened and right now I am sitting with tears in my eyes, telling you this. I live with my stepmom and my husband, Jeffrey. Turns out that after that day, I lived with my stepmom for a couple months but then the boy’s mom found out that I was still in this neighborhood. The boy was so happy to hear that, and he told me his name- Jeffrey Jones. We soon joined our friendship together and a couple months later, we were married. Also,he wasn’t 15 years old, like I thought, he was 17. -Written by Nikita Eggons-Jones

Yoyoyo its generikb here and today we are playing roller coaster tycoon

Anyone got ideas for a short story titled as Leornard’s Fatal Oversight. In need of help asap.

Ugh, this is getting do frustrating! I thought to myself as I struggled through the streets. My ankles kept twisting every time I slipped. Heels are so not comfy. I shouldn’t have worn them. As if my struggle wasn’t enough, people were pushing me as they passed me by. I was being shoved left and right amidst the bustling sidewalks of New York. Feeling fed up, I decided to lean onto a nearby store to regain my balance. What an awful idea it was. Unfortunately, I have miscalculated the distance between me and the store and I ended up leaning on thin air. I tried to right my footing before it was too late but I ended up tripping on my own feet. With a loud oomph I slammed into a passerby. Papers went flying around us as we both fell to the ground.

“Oh my gosh! I am so sorry.” I tried to hurriedly stand up but I ended flat on the ground again. “I didn’t mean to! I was just trying to lean on the wall to regain my balance since it’s the first time to wear heels, and oh my god, it is very hard and painful.”

The person nodded quietly and started gathering the papers. I got to my knees and tried to help. “I was supposed to be looking smart for today’s meeting, but I don’t think it’s been working out so well. I bet I look as smart as a baboon’s butt.” I heard the person chuckle but I went on with my rant, “I also bet that I am a total mess; I don’t how will I meet everyone at work this way. Oh man! They sure will give me an earful of criticism!” I didn’t realize I had been holding on to the few papers I collected while he tried to pull them from my grasp. “Oh, I am so sorry, once again,” I said still holding on to the papers while I got up, “I didn’t realize I was holding on to the documents…it’s not like I’ve read them; I’m just guessing they were documents as your suit looks neat and yeah.” I tugged gently on the lapel of the suit and finally raised my eyes to his face. My eyes probably widened as I saw him for the first time. To cut it short, he was hot! Like smoking salmon hot; or more like hot chili pepper that Indians eat hot! Now I’ll give all the details, I know you want them…I would want them if I was listening to one of my friends telling me such a story. Anyways, he stood a good foot or so taller than me. He had light brown hair styled backwards. His angular, defined jaw was covered with a five o’clock shadow. Bright hazel eyes shone with amusement as a slight smile covered his lips. “I don’t usually talk to strangers as much as I do. God! I’m coming off as talkative! I am not usually the talkative type; I seriously don’t know what is wrong with me today. And whoa, you look handsome,” my eyes widened in shock as he raised both eyebrows, “Did I say that out loud? Oh my god, I said that out loud. I didn’t mean to say that…I don’t mean you’re not handsome, because you’re one hell of a man; I just mean…Ugh! Now I’m coming off as a weird man-gazing half-crazed stalker. That is if I’m not fully crazed. I don’t think I’m making any sense…I should probably get going.” I went to turn around when I felt a tug onto something I’m holding to. With a confused look I looked to my hands and found the stack of papers. With a not so faint blush, I handed him the papers, “I’m sorry again.” I threw my hand behind my shoulder pointing in the opposite direction, “I should probably get going,” I said with a sheepish smile. I turned to leave again, but I was stopped…again. He cleared his throat, “I think you’re forgetting something.” “Um…no, I think I’m,” I turned his way to find him holding my bag. I awkwardly stepped to take it and said, “Thanks. I’ll see you around, not that I know where you are…I’ll just get going.” I took my bag and headed off in the opposite direction before I could embarrass myself any further. As I waited for the subway, I recalled what just happened and face palmed. I took the short ride to the office to compose myself. I was in for a surprise once I entered the meeting room, though. The man I bumped into was standing at the head of the table. “Good morning everyone, before starting today’s meeting, I would like to introduce you to the company’s new CEO…” Well, I wasn’t expecting this. I sat rigidly on the chair once we were told to. “Good morning everyone, I am Nathaniel and I am looking forwards to working with everyone on this team,” he said with a smile on his face. “Mr. Nathaniel, I would like you to meet our best employee, Ms. Felicity Brown.”My boss pointed my way and I wish he hadn’t. Nathaniel’s eyes found mine. They were filled with amusement. Oh this was going to be a long day.

And this, kids, is how I met your father.

A great (and family friendly) writing site is http://www.storybird.com

I might write a story about a girl who was born a princess but all her family died on a ship except her aunt and cousin…she gets taken to an orphanage and everyone else thinks she died too and she gets adopted a few Years later she goes to school and everyone is talking about her…one days she finds out that… oh u want to know well I’ll probs write a story about it on wattpad so u can look for it, it will be called…A princess???

Four new members have a look at couch on top of Crestwood center ship

high school graduation sports activitiestrail Softballand therefore Swimmingbeach ball Tennismales adolescent girls info Field HS HS WrestlingCollege Pro Submit ScoresSubmit

WRIGHT TWP. In all perhaps had to be the most significant reorganization matching presented among Luzerne regional 11 institutions zones, Crestwood school panel swore located in four sign ups compared to the ne member, repairing incumbents which are either of them missing in action unique reelection tenders belonging to the primary or elected to get not to research another phase.

wayne Brogna, Stacey Haddix, Kimberly Spath and thus Lauren McCurdy got been sworn appearing in thursday night. The four bought conducted completely considering that the to produce enhancement community. really earning incumbent from a big part that do survived habitual grievance in past times two very long time came anna Hollock Bibla, which will garnered your ex first four year terms the particular snowboard. you become a member of in 2017 because of profitable an exclusive two year sitting.

The aboard had been proven a good solid director in just cost Jones deleted the primary. He extended in the direction this quite get-together ahead departing the barrier. But contact considering his or place for year isn an exciting new face. really 5 4 election with all four rookies in opposition of, james Costello vice president in the past year came branded president.

following the meeting, Brogna documented can lone even talk to gain themselves even so that he fully Costello ran into finished loads of dubious ballots the actual game board during the last two growth cycles. he explained he’s talked containing Costello together n’ your own questions that can the pup, but admitted no sign ups may possibly well most try out the us president job, if he or she. so which he wasn safe voting for Costello.

barry Boone is unanimously specified as vice chairman, Maureen McGovern came chosen assistant, and after that Brogna been recently branded as treasurer.

all of the reconstituted block have their first finding for normal establishment votes arrange for Dec. 19, Five days right after the contract over curious law firms in order to post proposals on a structured feasibility study, sense my blackboard can have to be able to merit a legal contract.

Four newbies your day Crestwood their school panel accept the promise of health care office at some stage in thurs reorganization talking. right between lead are actually Stacy Haddix, Kimberly Spath, Lauren McCurdy and as a consequence randy Brogna. 17 public speaking.

while prompt wednesday authorities chairman paul Belusko should become aware of if will probably be at center arena this booked careers class a better or at site of the event thus more people beautiful vietnamese women may easily give priority to.

Belusko proclaimed she will be polling an additional four authorities musicians in email’s over the past weekend on recommendation mayor choose George light brown undertaken especially during tuesday night time seeing replace the to and time production for the.

looking to you can keep them respond back to me made by the following thursday, Belusko considered that Friday.

maybe authorities decides to transfer an appointment it provides a week in order to place and with seating rather than a unique fourth area chambers.

was regarded as thinking that it is recently doing open talking long before the performance visit someplace (home buyers and thus local authority or council) may questionthings just to associated with us transfer to the author’s your job session. which unfortunately whatever i thinking about, Belusko claims.

you will most likely plumbing service in sunday night-time show results demonstrations that when local authority or council could not vote on awaiting the law. comments together with inquires are allowed even though council monday date the general public get togethers. timetabled start.

village owner david Gazenski suggested it authorities call on which direction to start.

over council if that they move this approach to a different store, Gazenski alleged.

nearly as Belusko may reaching out to authorities, so too will white because of main receiving area for the mans professional recommendation.

I get distracted super easily, but I started writing down my most intrusive thoughts. 1, it helped me remember them, and 2, it helped me focus on the task at hand. From intriguing concepts to funny-sounding words. Some are quotes for funny dialog, some are character quirks. Now I have a list of really bad, really creative ideas that deserve to be told and deserve to die. Simultaneously.

For example, “Becoming so good at keyboard shortcuts that they do precognitive Googling” “A vegan who is transformed into a dog” “A math curriculum that hires voice actors from pop culture to voice the lessons ” “A character (probably lonely) makes a friend online and goes in for a fist bump with the monitor, only to break it.”

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Home / Book Writing / Funny Writing Prompts: 50+ Ideas to Get Your Started

Funny Writing Prompts: 50+ Ideas to Get Your Started

Books, novellas, and short stories that can make readers laugh are always in high demand. After all, who doesn't like laughing? Some say it's the best medicine. But, as any stand-up comedian will tell you, comedy is hard.

Luckily, with the right premise, you can craft a funny story that will make readers hungry for more. And that's just what these funny writing prompts will help you do. 

• Tips on using comedy in your writing.
• Some humorous books to read for inspiration.
• Funny creative writing prompts.

Table of contents

• Know Your Genre
• Humor Through Character
• Keep Things Natural
• Make it Relatable
• Read Humorous Books
• Funny Writing Prompts
• Test Your Funny Book Idea

Tips for Funny Story Writing

Humor is subjective, so a funny story that gets one group of people laughing may not elicit so much as a smile from another group. That's okay. As a writer, it's important to know that not everyone will like your work. But with the tips below, you can position your comedic story (or scene) for the ultimate effect . 

Humor shouldn't be relegated to only comedies. In fact, authors in all different genres use humor to enhance their stories. But before you start shoving jokes into your work in progress, consider the norms of your genre. What do other authors do? Do you even need comedy in your book? If so, how much? 

Even works that are considered comedies aren't all jokes. There need to be peaks and valleys in your story. Because if you're trying to make the reader laugh all the time, they won't be able to catch their breath and settle in for another laughing fit. 

One of the best ways to convey humor is through one of your point of view (POV) characters . Maybe your normally stoic main character has a funny habit of breaking the tension with an offhand remark or a silly phrase that he says at the most inopportune moments.

Likewise, you may create a whole character whose main purpose is comedic relief. This doesn't have to be a POV character, but it can be. An inside joke between two characters can also work well, provided the reader is in on the joke!

Readers know when they're being played to. So if you're being funny just for the sake of it, they'll be able to tell. The humor in your novel or story should have something to do with plot, character development , or story. In other words, comedy should arise naturally from the aspects of your story. 

There's nothing wrong with wanting to make readers laugh, but forcing it will often backfire. 

Most successful stand-up comedians make the mundane hilarious. They take the doldrums of everyday life and provide a new perspective or spin on them. This also works well in storytelling. Sometimes the funniest thing is the one that makes people go, “Oh yeah, it is like that!” 

Whether it be observations about social media, a popular book or TV show, or a twist on the daily grind, it's possible to find comedy all around us. 

You can't expect to sharpen your comedy writing skills without first seeing how other authors do it. The books below are just a few to consider when studying the craft of comedic writing. 

• Anything by Christopher Moore (fiction).
• Anything by David Sedaris (memoir). 
• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.
• Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
• Where'd You Go, Bernadette by Maria Semple
• Bridget Jones's Diary by Helen Fielding
• Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
• My Sister, the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite

Formatting Has Never Been Easier

Write and format professional books with ease.  Never before has creating formatted books been easier.

Pick a funny writing prompt from the list below to get the creative juices flowing. Since there's a wide range of uses for comedy across all genres, not every prompt below will be suitable for an entire novel. Some are designed to start off a scene or a short story. Others you can use to break through writer's block by writing a poem or a funny anecdote. Do with them whatever you will. They're yours to use freely!

1. Write a scene in which a man is arguing with some unseen character. At the end, it turns out it's his dog. What is the conversation like? Why is it happening?

2. Think about your favorite thing to do on vacation. Now write about a character who's stuck doing that thing over and over again in a time loop.

3. Start a story about two hitmen haggling over who gets to assassinate the known crime lord. 

4. What would happen if animals could talk to humans? If this was normal, what would the world be like?

5. Explore the implications of a modern high school student who finds him or herself alive before the internet was invented. 

6. Start a story in the middle of a bank robbery in progress. But the robbers are elderly men who can't stop bickering. 

7. What would happen if a demon invaded the body of a highly neurotic and eccentric person? Turns out, the demon inside the person allows them to live how they always wanted, but the demon wants to leave. 

8. Write a romance about two people who connect over their shared love of extreme ironing. 

9. Explore the world of a stunt woman. She continues to put her body on the line for the work, but inside she thinks she's the biggest wimp in the world. 

10. In a world of superheroes, the villains have their own support groups where you get to see a very different side of them. Turns out, the villains may not be the real villains of this story. . . 

11. A new drug hits the market that makes everyone happy. Unfortunately, your protagonist is happiest when she's miserable. What does this new “happy” world look like through his eyes?

12. A young man suddenly becomes a viral sensation for his comedy routine. But the sudden fame is more than he can handle. Much more. 

13. Write about a local neighborhood watch group filled with zany characters who must solve the mystery of the missing garden gnomes. 

14. Write about a supervillain's parents. What are they like? Are they proud of their son or daughter?

15. Write about a high school student who learns she can disappear whenever something really embarrassing happens to her. Does she use this newfound power for good or bad?

16. Your protagonist stumbles upon proof that we live in a simulation. How does this change his outlook and actions? Does he try to tell the world?

17. Explore two best friends who are participating in an ongoing prank war that's getting way out of hand. 

18. Start your story with an argument between two rival business owners who eventually become fast friends. 

19. Follow a protagonist who goes outside one day to find that everyone is naked—and looking at her like she's the crazy one. 

20. Start your story with a character successfully outwitting Death to stay alive for just a bit longer. 

21. Write about a doomsday prepper who prepares for every eventuality . . . but this one. 

22. Write about a character who thinks their television is talking to them by name. 

23. Write about a wedding in which everything goes comically wrong—and how the wedding party rallies to make things okay in the end. 

24. Write about a utility worker who stumbles on an underground society of mutants in the city sewers. 

25. Write about a group of friends who get together once a year to fight each other. Why do they do it? What do they get out of this strange fight club?

26. Start a story in which a character is trying to reenact something they've seen on YouTube – with hilarious consequences. 

27. A bumbling father takes it upon himself to deal with the petty crime in his neighborhood. But he stumbles upon a hilarious conspiracy enacted by the homeowners association. 

28. A professional athlete starts having terrible luck, both on and off the field. He does everything he can think of to break the bad streak. 

29. A billionaire CEO decides after a near-death experience to give all his money away. But there are a whole bunch of people who do whatever they can to convince him otherwise. 

30. A woman who's about to be married to an “okay” guy finds a love letter in the mailbox. It has been mailed to her by mistake, and she takes it upon herself to deliver it to the real recipient. 

31. Write about a group of scammers getting into a con war with another group of scammers. 

32. A group of vampires goes on vacation only to find that their arch-enemies the werewolves have laid claim to their favorite spot. 

33. Artificial Intelligence robots are rolled out, but a software glitch makes them act like bumbling idiots who inadvertently threaten the collapse of society. 

34. There's something wrong with the world. Something's just a little off. But your character can't quite figure out what it is. 

35. Explore what it's like at a national liars convention. 

36. A girl realizes she's in a horror movie. But she also knows that she's not the final girl—she's one who dies in the first half!

37. A group of cowboys on a cattle drive in the 1800s wind up getting attacked by bumbling aliens. 

38. Write about a wildlife television show host who's constantly getting attacked by animals. 

39. Write a time travel story in which the character keeps trying to fix her love life only to keep getting thwarted—by herself. 

40. Write about a 4th-grade teacher who wins the lottery and decides to retire. But then her class shows up and begs her to come back to teach them. 

41. Explore a character who can't help but dance every time her favorite song comes on. She lives in perpetual fear of hearing the song while in public. 

42. An irresponsible man ends up having to take care of his five nephews and nieces after tragedy strikes. He learns to be responsible very quickly. 

43. A woman obsessed with American 1970s culture gets the chance to travel back in time. 

44. A man gets a hilarious text message from a random number. Thinking it a clever salesperson, he goes along with the messages. But things soon get way out of control. 

45. After being told, rather rudely, that he tells the same stories over and over again, a man drops everything and goes on an adventure to get some new stories to tell his friends and family. 

46. The utterance of a random word makes a brainwashed secret agent go into assassin mode. Only she turns out to be the worst assassin ever. 

47. A woman who thinks she has the best idea for a new product quits her job in spectacular fashion, only to learn that someone else has already had the idea. 

48. Write an embarrassing poem from one of your characters’ point of view. Why did they write the poem? What did they write it about? What would happen if someone happened upon it?

49. Write a spoof of The War of the Worlds in which the aliens all develop terrible allergies, which only makes things worse for the humans. 

50. Write a few diary or journal prompts for your main character from when they were a teenager. (If they are a teenager, all the better). Make sure to add some cringe to the entries!

Hopefully, the creative writing ideas above have given you some inspiration to use for your next book or short story. You can even take inspiration from a funny joke, your favorite book, or a funny thing you saw on YouTube. Professional writers will tell you that ideas are a dime a dozen. It's the execution that really makes something shine. So pick a fun writing prompt and get to work!

When you're ready to take your writing career forward by publishing your book, it's a good idea to ensure there's a market for your story . And the easiest way to do this is with Publisher Rocket.

You can think of the information you get from Publisher Rocket as the foundation for your writing career—whether you write comedy, drama, horror, or more than one genre. 

With Publisher Rocket, you get insights directly from Amazon on:

• Keywords – Metadata to position your book on Amazon.
• Competition – Allowing you to see what's selling and how stiff the competition is.
• Categories – So you know where people who are looking for books like yours go to find them.
• Amazon Ads – Helps you quickly configure a list of profitable keywords for running ads.

Check out Publisher Rocket here to get started.

Dave Chesson

When I’m not sipping tea with princesses or lightsaber dueling with little Jedi, I’m a book marketing nut. Having consulted multiple publishing companies and NYT best-selling authors, I created Kindlepreneur to help authors sell more books. I’ve even been called “The Kindlepreneur” by Amazon publicly, and I’m here to help you with your author journey.

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55 Funny Writing Prompts To Inspire Your Inner Comedian

Hands up if you’ve enjoyed a funny series or movie lately and hoped the writers were well-paid for their work? 

Laughter is good medicine.

So, think of the comedy writing prompts in this post as our contribution to making the world a healthier place.

If you love to make people laugh but you’re struggling to think of funny topics to write about , we’ve got you covered. 

The real challenge is deciding which prompt to use first. 

Funny Writing Prompts 

Enjoy this list of 55 funny writing prompts. And keep track of those that stand out for you. 

1. Write about someone trying to explain to a teacher that their dog did, in fact, eat their homework.

2. Write about two characters — with entirely different lives and personalities- switching bodies.

3. Write about a little boy accidentally switching bodies with his dad for a day.

4. Write about someone playing the perfect April Fools Day prank.

5. Write about someone who accidentally buys a fish that can talk — and it isn’t exactly polite.

6. Write about someone who is friends with a hero and a villain. They don’t keep this a secret, but it does make for some interesting conversations.

7. Write about a hero and a villain rescheduling their battle due to a scheduling conflict.

8. Write about a superhero whose greatest threat is their younger sibling.

9. Write an analysis paragraph that makes an ordinary object sound infinitely complicated.

10. Write a poem about Tupperware.

11. Write about the origin of an inside joke.

12. Write a story about someone who can’t stop saying what they think — much to the dismay of those around them.

13. Write a character with a personality based on your favorite song.

14. Write a comedy script about a food that you hate.

15. Write a story about a deck of cards coming to life. How do their personalities mix with each other?

16. Write about someone trying to escape the afterlife.

17. Write a story about a great historical figure learning how to use the internet. What do they find online when they Google themselves? Do they like it?

18. Write about a character who wakes up to find out the world is ending. Even stranger than that, everyone around them is celebrating.

19. Write a story that begins with the words, “Tuesday is always the worst day to rob a bank.”

20. Write about a woman who promised her firstborn child to several different witches. Now that a baby is on the way, she has to deal with a custody battle.

21. Write about a hero who accidentally falls in love with the daughter of their arch enemy.

22. Write about an alien race that believes ants are the most organized civilization on earth.

23. Write about Greek deities taking a class on Greek mythology. Which parts of the curriculum do they have issues with?

24. Write a story about Ares — the Greek god of war — getting trapped in the body of a preschooler.

25. Write a story about a chicken that accidentally hatches a dragon egg — much to the concern of the local population.

26. Write a story about an immortal who keeps finding increasingly creative ways to avoid the grim reaper.

27. Write about someone who takes up a career as a nanny. The adorable baby they’ve been hired to care for is, unfortunately, the antichrist.

28. Write a slow-burn love story that is narrated by a very impatient narrator.

29. Write a story in which the narrator hates the main character. This leads to lots of passive-aggressive side comments throughout the story.

30. Write a story that begins with the words, “Unfortunately, fire is not the solution to every problem.

31. Write a short story about a burned-out retail employee deciding to spend his last day messing with the worst customers. 

32. Write about a farmer who wakes up able to understand what the animals on the farm are saying — on the day he was planning to butcher some of them for food.

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33. Write a story about a famous Hollywood paparazzo who’s decided to retire and finds himself the object of unwanted attention (for reasons he’s about to learn). 

34. Write a story where you agree to house-sit a new “smart home” for a famous celebrity. Turns out the house is a bit glitchy. And it all begins in the bathroom.

35. You’ve just finished a string of speed dates and are preparing to spend the evening alone when your attractive new neighbor asks you to watch their pet rock. 

36. Write about a support group where members meet every month to discuss their mistakes and to “say anything.” 

37. Your cat wakes you up one day to let you know his kind have taken over the world. If you want to continue living, you’re now his “personal assistant.” 

38. The dogs of the neighborhood are meeting to build a resistance to the worst humans in the area. You follow your dog one evening and learn the truth. 

39. Write about something you should NOT have tried at home — but you did, anyway, with more or less predictable consequences. 

40. You buy something online and are so excited about the money you’ve saved — until it shows up. 

41. You’ve started a blog based on interviews with villains, and your first interview guest has just arrived at your agreed-upon meeting spot.  

42. Write a short story about a waitress who just dumped her boyfriend spending Valentine’s Day working at a restaurant, serving over-the-top romantic couples.

43. You’ve been holding it together, but when your grocery bag rips open as you’re crossing the street, something snaps… and you turn into a dragon. 

44. The pharmacy absent-mindedly packages the wrong prescription for you. Fortunately, the mistake isn’t fatal to you — but it does have consequences. 

45. Your new date drags you to a coffee shop that’s hosting local comedy routines, where you find, to your horror, that your oversharing dad is the main attraction. 

46. You’re answering an ad for a local “expert” who promises they can rid you of writer’s block for the rest of your life. The contract is unusual, to put it mildly.

47. After days of frustrating writer’s block, a breakthrough comes at the worst possible moment. And you can’t help yourself. 

48. You’ve just converted an old school bus into a mobile home to travel the country,  and after advertising for a traveling companion, you’re interviewing the top five. 

49. You’ve just finished a high-stakes version of rock-paper-scissors. You’re one of the “lucky ones.” 

50. Write a story that starts with “I hereby resign my position as neighborhood tooth fairy for the following reasons…”  

51. You’re at an open house for a property you’re looking to buy, and you hear a loud bang. You turn to see a plume of smoke rising from the garage next door. 

52. Write about an embarrassing moment that still makes you cringe when you remember it — but add a twist. 

53. You’ve decided to be a stand-up comedian, and the next day, you hear a laugh track every time you say something out loud. Was it always there?

54. You agree to a blind date only to come face to face with your arch-nemesis from school. 

55. You’re a superhero interviewing candidates for a sidekick position. One of your interviewees is your favorite barista, who also happens to be a supervillain. 

Now that you’ve looked through the whole list, which funny writing prompts stand out as your favorites? 

And how are you most inclined to begin your next story? 

• With a bit of dialogue?
• With a quick dive into an active disaster scenario?
• With a pithy summation of a lesson learned the hard way?

Think about how some of your favorite stories begin. Then commit to choosing one of these prompts today and making it your own. 

Which will you write about first? 

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875 Funny Writing Prompts For Funny Stories And Comedies

March 2, 2021

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Have tried writing funny stories in the past, but failed because you are having a hard time thinking up ideas that you feel make people laugh? If your answer is ‘yes,’ maybe you should consider turning to writing prompts for inspiration. 

Writing prompts are great tools that could help make your story stand out from other comedies by giving you new ideas and pushing you to get your creative spirits going. They can also take your stories to the next level by stretching your imagination.  

If you are an aspiring comedy writer or an author in a writer’s rut, here are writing prompts that could inspire you to write funny stories

• There are only five minutes until you have to give the speech and you just realized you can’t speak. Inspiration never strikes at a good time.
• The wife-in-laws’ husband wife-in-law is a husband wife-in-law was a constant reminder of her own true age.
• There came a time when the world was out of handclaps. In order to resolve this grotesque situation, a boy was conscripted. A boy who had been struck on the head by the iron lever in a closed door accident, and was now incomplete in the lateral portion of his left hemisphere.
• When my headlights were going out…no one knew that the red lights on the road were actually stop lights.
• Several times during the Second World War Churchill was briefed on recent advances in weapons technology. He’d listen to the reports, only for his eyes to widen, mouth open and jaw drop. Slightly open-mouthed, patting the person on hand, he’d steer them to the door before stepping back into his office. Later, someone would walk in and add in some milk.
• You hear a sound behind you, but you know it’s my friend Billy, whose name is actually Steven. Stop making me say things two times!
• Everyone from the outside expected you to have your life together. You weren’t to be concerned with anything. Little did they know, you were worried sick about one of the most bizarre things anyone could identify with.
• Tell a story of something that happened when you were a kid. Something you’ve left out of other stories you’ve told.
• There was a family that moved into the neighborhood. Jose, Janet, and Tom. There children Mark, Maria, and Timothy. They were the nicest people you would want to meet. At least at first. One day Mark and Timothy went missing. People looked everywhere for those two boys, but they just couldn’t be found. Then suddenly the rest of the family went missing just two days later. Except the father and mother who were the last to disappear. When people looked around the beautiful house they found more of those flowers and dead bodies all around the backyard AND a port-a-potty. They looked in the bath tubs and the kitchen drawers. The bodies were hidden for a long time until someone they could take care of themselves, or they were just plain stupid. All had the same golden gates and angel wings. Everyone was certain of the fact that the family was a group of satan worshippers.
• You wake up one night covered in tiny puncture wounds. They heal over time, leaving small coffee or mocha colored spots on your person.
• “I want to believe.” was not the catchphrase of some obscure nerd, but rather my new way of saying “I need to become an astronaut.”
• The elevator could only fit one person, so they tossed a coin to see who would go up and bring down the angel.
• It’s not the same when you explain it to us, so explain it to the whores on the corner outside, the corner of forgotten children.
• She ran around with scissors in her hair so they were never able to recognize the color of her hair.
• A running joke can be funny or strange and crucial– and, ultimately, mess with your readers’ minds. A running joke also makes your novel stand out in a memorable way. Could Eva repel the biker girls? Could she use lemons to do so? Maybe she could transform into a laser beam and shoot lemon beams at them!
• You are sitting at your desk at a job you hate. Suddenly, a man you’ve never seen before approaches you with an argument you’ve never considered, and somehow your procrastinating becomes the action of the minute, the action that leads to momentous decisions in a life you never realized was yours.
• But not everything can come from a strange world. Some ideas could also come as a part of a mundane world. Perhaps the bad guy from your story didn’t arrive by meteor, but crawled down the storm drain in your backyard.
• A story about a triangular obelisk made of mud-braken and mortar replaced with a different one, solely based on observation.
• You enter a virtual reality game in the seal-clubbing business. The object of the game is to seal-club as many seals as possible. It’s the world’s most popular online game. And in no time you’re making a fortune. You’ve become the ultimate seal-clubber. How will it end?
• The Sheriff and his deputy were riding horses in a park earlier, but then, one horse just started taking off on it’s own. Naturally, the two men wouldn’t let a horse just take them anywhere. The deputy did the only thing he could’ve done, and shot the horse for ‘becoming agitated’.
• A subtle discussion of the differences between the dreaming of a historian and the degree to which a character in the fiction believes himself to be real.
• The man in the big yellow hat wanted to open the biggest lemonade stand ever. So he went out to find the lemons, only to find out that there is no more lemonade. Oopsie!
• Write into somebody else’s dialect. Write from the point of view of someone living in a different time period, like the 16th century. Write the story looking back from about 1000 years from now. What would post-apocalyptica feel like?
• For a list of funny story prompts from a simplified list and fun exercises, just go to this page . The list is fairly comprehensive but they will prove very useful in terms of idea generation. You can also simply check out my Book, “From blank page to funny page.” and start writing today!
• The Bakers left the galley messy, so Gavin and his boys decided to contribute to the clean up effort. Consequently, all their masterpieces were saved.
• More great prompts for funny stories include awkward moments, suspicious adjectives, painful events, and first meeting. Once you’ve completed a funny story, share them with friends or family.
• Never say die. Blasphemy? Ten years in prison. No trials, no innocent before proven guilty. Just burn ’em! Burn ’em!
• You were the small seedling that decided to grow up. And rise to be ten times what all the other trees were planted for.
• A man and a woman want to get married but a mutual need is preventing them from tying the knot for a closer life together.
• Pirates like to focus on the one thing most people would find most morally intriguing–avast, this is the captured story.
• Colonel Sanders bobbed up and down on a pogo stick. Do you think he shouted Colonel Sanders while he did this? Or was he just Colonel Sanders?
• Destiny doesn’t get out of bed for anything less than two million in cash. Or a really good bacon wrapped filet.
• The man on the train who stared at your arm tattoos for five minutes, despite being surrounded by countless empty seats.
• Figure out a way to be the anarchist you wanted than shouted at by the powers that wanted to redefine the relationship between you and your government without dealing with any government involvement.
• Enjoy these and enjoy writing short stories! They are a great way to provide creative writing practice.
• Don’t forget to subscribe to my RSS or YouTube channel or newsletter above for updates on when more funny prompts come out.
• I was born a beautiful baby. A beautiful baby in the ugly hospital in the ugly dying town on the dying planet.
• You were dreaming night after night. It was the same dream, you never forgot it, but it didn’t make sense. What did you dream again?
• He wore a brown fedora and a black trenchcoat. He gave me a wide goofy grin as he drew a gun from his pocket.
• The Old west meets high-tech study chambers. A Wild West error leads to a bug in the Matrix. Documented incident of spontaneity. Blue heron falls from the sky.
• They must have thought they couldn’t make it through. They split their integral selves between a state and the staid. The steady flux is a thing of delight to them, just as the balance between their vibrant impulsions and the détente is. Contact further cemented their romance, but effect dissipated into sparse numbers. They plummeted, plateaued, and now slowly strut gingerly amongst the pincushion and porcupines. Now that they know themselves incapable of tearing themselves apart, they no longer worry about trying to be whole.
• What if everything you thought you knew about vampires and the undead was a total lie? What if they were just people?
• A centipede and a butterfly sit outside on a hot summer day playing cards. After a few hands the centipede puts down his cards and says….
• It’s a curse to be beautiful in this life… or was it an enviable blessing it brought wealth and fame…
• An original fairytale about a handsome prince, damsel in distress and a white horse where the prince is the knight with a thousand faces.
• God gave you the job of calling all the shots. What happened to make you forget what He had put you on this Earth for?
• Why would it have to make logical sense for me to get that part? It’s just a frickin’ job, not graduate school.
• The struggling artist doodled in the margins of the page, oblivious that the words she wrote were changing her world…
• What shapes do you see in the pattern of life? Stories can create emotion, setting, likability, and help people learn about themselves and others. A believable story can capture the reader’s attention, if the grammar and sentence structure are good, then they should be able to read the story smoothly. If every aspect is perfect, that means nothing else is left undone. The tale could almost tell itself. The setting could almost design itself. If everything in a story feels real or plausible, then it lived up to the expectations.
• Later, the same boy pushed a goat down the school’s  staircases. It’s safe to say he was suspended from the school for a solid week.
• You can use the environment around you to bring color to your writing. Look around you at the environment. The way a roach slithers across your counter – what emotion is it trying to convey? What does a dirty leaf or a wind-blown flower invoke in you?
• Your name was a living legend. Highlander of your trade.  No one wanted to be the one that slew… you.
• When your life looked like a stick drawing, only with a few scattered among your two dimensional reality.
• TheRedheadand The Spacewoman Are Having a Good Time On The Planet of Orange at the North Pole. Prance Around and Find a Big Piece of Rock To Float To Other Planets.
• I knew they were trouble when they walked in. A girl covered in tattoos, and a guy who resembled Johnny Depp.
• Hope you’ve enjoyed these funny story prompts. If you want some more, let me know and I’ll post more funny story prompts!
• Who can discard digital music files that hold exactly one -hundred- notes of -unplayed- music without feeling awful and slightly depressed about it. Isn’t your hard drive a paradise for that lonely unused music??!
• Write a story about someone who talks about a paradox that blurs the lines between fiction and reality.
• 1. Go to the YouTube channel, How to Write Great Fiction , and watch the videos on Point of View and Storytelling. 2. After you’ve watched the videos, go to the site to read more about each of the fifteen elements by clicking on the title of the article.
• All of the writing prompts are effective because you have to get right to the point and remove any fluff from the description so you can tell a story in a creative and interesting way.
• Have you ever noticed that after a person has died, everything in the house goes to the kids? Except for the dirty underwear in the underwear drawer.
• Most people are like Slinky. With every step they take, they lose a little bit of their sturdiness and gain a little bit more tually.
• Write a story about something or someone you don’t like, to get a laugh, you need to include a disliked person in your story.
• The narrator doesn’t die immediately. Instead, he lives long enough to recount the accident to anyone willing to listen.
• The kid knocked it 400 yards and because it landed on the road, and not in the field, it wasn’t a home run.
• Write a true curious tale in which something relevant to your book has gone missing, How could it have been missing, and how could you possibly go on?
• A lifeboat washed up with two skeletons in it.  The First Skeleton popped out and grabbed his own pelvis.  The First Skeleton’s pelvis didn’t belong to him.  The Second Skeleton lunged out and said, “MY pelvis! Now!!”  Your house was haunted by a ghost.  You almost slept with a serial killer.
• A priest, a rabbi, and a blonde woman with green eyes are about to be executed and they’re out on the garden swing together one last time.
• The greatest mystery of all time hangs in the balance, and your friend and you are the only ones capable of solving it, but they, as they say, are M.I.A.
• Imagine you’re at a job interview for a completely absurd job. What job explains everything that’s happened to you?
• No one ever suspected the minister was actually a serial killer. But the numbers just didn’t add up….
• For the next 25 days, post a comment of interest that relates to one of your writing goals, trading spaces for other wants or wishes . Make it fact-based, funny or fiction. Maybe even all three.
• In the firelight preparing dinner over a barbecue the beloved grandfather of the family takes a young girl’s hand in his own and says,
• That night the stars didn’t shine because the moon is full every month. And when it’s not it’s a new moon.
• You encounter the ghost of your favorite actor. There he is in the flesh! You can’t believe your luck. And then he dies all over again and you have to write an article on what he was like.
• Your mother was the whitest woman you’d ever seen. No one’s mother was whiter than yours. Wait? What?
• The story focuses around the things that happened when, with what, who was what, who did what.   Sometimes impossibly forced, sometimes just weird, and other times just slightly funny. The point is to be funny.   Sometimes done by picking 20-50 completely random subjects, then picking out ones that are funny for whatever reason.
• Give me this day my daily bread.  Other stories stem from the imagination to list ideas. These exercises are fun, excitement and great ideas to use as a springboard for stories.  It is all about stopping the gravity of your day. Making your creative mind float up into the clouds with no limitations. To create stories to amuse yourself and anyone who reads them. To write about whatever you like. To write about the people who really interest you. Nothing makes an awkwardly normal person observe and invent rather than someone who is a headliner. Invent your own direction of your story and drive a pit of obstacles. Keep your issues in mind but allow yourself to Spin the idea on its end and make it humorous and crazy fun.  Just talking about writing stories can lead to a great idea or even a character for a story!!
• Ever walked on the sand and couldn’t find the water? Ever walked on water and not been able to find the sand?
• The White Witch is having an important guest over, a scruffy-looking nerdy guy who carries luggage larger than his own body while the creepy yet overdressed butler, dressed in purely white, escorts him to his room. As he disappears down the hall, the White Witch’s daughter walks in to ask her mother innocently where the new guest is staying, wondering if she can play with him. The mother is a bit offended by how this scruffy nerdy guy came to be a guest, and she asks her daughter “Why in the world would he be staying here?”
• My co-worker saved the company from almost certain failure only to have his efforts called into question.
• You’re in a totally haunted and abandoned house that you think is truly beautiful and charming until that really hungry yet relentless Vulture starts to nag you about what already-chewed-on bones you have back there in the cupboard that are just his size and whisper over and over, “Oh-do eat me.”
• While growing up, your dog slept with you in your parent’s bed while they slept in their bedroom. Every night.
• There was no way, no way someone who eats family pets would possibly have eaten my lost hamster. Right?
• Write a story about a ceramic or pewter or lead figurine. Go into great detail about how it was made and how it might come to life.
• In a world where noses were big business, two men vied for dominance. One noseless and the other flawed…
• See what happens when a couple is forced to leave their home by circumstance and the rules and regulations surrounding urban civilizations. The husband eventually ends up building his own home minus a few materials.
• A Silver Scoter is the most annoying bird in the world because even when it is dead people will throw it into a lake.
• Every time the narrator reached the turning point in a tragic story, cash prizes were shot out of a cannon.
• Choose people that you think are particularly familiar with someone who is close to you otherwise maybe a little bizarre.
• So in Havana, this old man yells out, “You so stupid, you had all those Castro’s beat, what’s you firstname?”
• If you use somebody’s accent to the point where they can’t speak at all, and then they decide to just leave before killing you, is it okay to say Black tax, as long as you pay it, but don’t actually take a mason jar down from anywhere and hold it out for them to put a quarter in?
• Write a story that parallels the creation of people and the world in the Bible, beginning with the creation of the universe.
• Honest Abe’s Honest Axe repair shop is across from Honest Abe’s Honest Auto Salvage. It’s across from Honest Abe’s Honest Sporting Goods in a section of the city where there is little honest business. None of us are getting any younger.
• Tell the entire story from the main character’s weakest character flaw if your character is not heroic/has no flaws.
• The quirks and oddities of the world are what make it amazing. Don’t be afraid to explore the strange!
• You have the power to make someone else disappear. You can choose to take someone or the whole world.
• The next time you tell someone to get over it they’ll die. With no one there to bring them back to life.
• She always fell in love with people she shouldn’t and dated guys that were completely wrong for her. And yet, they all had one thing in common. She left you for them.
• For the first time, the award for the worst fiction is awarded to Chuck Wiener. This is not a story about a man named Chuck Wiener, but rather is the story entitled, “Chuck Wiener’s Hair Journey.” “Chuck Wiener’s Hair Journey” will be printed on paper, and will surely be a literary success.
• If lightning bugs had leaders, they would all decamp to my front yard to live and play vigorously in my dark corners.
• A writer, reeling in self-pity over his lack of recognition, searches the nearby woods for some sign of recognition or even a single sapling with his name on it.
• Have a main character that works at a really bad job/preparing clear margaritas at the corner store for a buck.
• “Do you remember when we used to sit up all night and talk and talk and talk about the coolest things? What happened, man? Why aren’t we still talking?”
• What is the funniest short story you have ever written, but really should sell because it’s really funny.
• The new girl doesn’t have a name. Her real name is impossible to pronounce and occasionally she forgets what it is.
• Ages and ages ago, in a galaxy far away, so long ago we didn’t even know when, back when King Arthur ruled Camelot there was a cobbler…
• Have the character use a ridiculously large amount of made-up jargon to describe a situation or event, single-handedly destroying the target’s self-esteem and worldview.
• Your late-friend Johnny was the weirdest person who ever lived. He did the strangest things. Even though you think he was a weirdo, you have to admit, the results were “worth it.”
• It’s a tale with no meaning and no point– yet one that must be told elicits the most sympathetic response.
• Give your character an impossible list of tasks, ridiculous prerequisites, and insane hoops and twirls to jump through. Poetically portray humiliation, the extreme senses of frustration and despair, and/or autism.
• If you build a boat, will it hold up? If you build a raft, will it be water-tight? Are you looking out for me? Breathe. In depth. Exhale.
• What is your ultimate reality television experience? Take Lana Condor On A Blind Date spoof scene from To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han for example! What is your ultimate reality television experience?
• Orhan Pamuk, a Turkish writer known for The Black Book, grew up in Kaffeebecher, an Arab neighborhood in Istanbul, where he sold lemonade called “Bean and Istanbul.”
• Nanai is a three-toed sloth who mainly feasts on prickly pear cactus to supplement his protein. He has been waiting for fair share solar panels from the energy company so he can stop eating cactus and start spinning his fiber, like many of the young sloths in his community do.
• Story about movies or books that sound cool when you’re framing the scene but are terrible when you get down to it.
• She was the sweetest girl in the whole wide world, but not a day went by without a peacock trying to ride my bike.
• Unplug everything. Feel your breathing. Slowly have a panic attack. And then plug it in and forget about it.
• Checklist, checklist. What’s something you need to make sure you don’t forget to do on a first date?
• He ran into the mead with a paper in hand. He was an author, not just a writer, but a famous…oh, never mind.
• Professor Dudley says, “No pain-no gain.” Considering this new-old adage, a sailor on a paddleboard
• No one ever went into the old meat processing plant since it closed twenty years ago. But one day someone noticed and followed the little trail of steam coming from the roof. When they got to it they were shocked. The smell of meat and fresh blood made them gag. What they saw was hard to believe at first. What they saw made them vomit. You see, the factory was now run by mad scientist cooks. They use meat that people use to buy. It doesn’t come from there. What they cook is so good people can’t resist the smell. Their main item is called Fainiburger. It is so good it is supposed to change from a gas to a solid. Fainiburger is rolled out into a tent where people buy it to go. People were buying all the meat they could get their hands on. It’s a family operated business that parents love to cater businesses with for birthdays, weddings, you name it. It’s just so popular people can’t get enough.
• Declare pestilence on the previously killer garden gnomes that are now holding your neighbor’s son hostage under your stair step.
• Madness victims are happier than the sane, who just want to get fourteen hours of sleep in one night, without the disruption of yet another “loud noise scare”.
• No one was sure if his mother was pushing the boundaries of time, space, and his mouth just to hear him scream.
• They say curiosity killed the cat. And ever since you got curious about the wrong thing and followed that dog, you’ve regretted every decision you’ve made.
• As Gary Larson did for comics, compose a hyper-stylized, exaggerated prose that mimics the surface qualities of a very different kind of writing.
• That expression on your face, bemused and awry, one side of your mouth curling up in a mocking half-smile. The blind rage upon seeing my drawings, my close-guarded secrets, the pieces of my heart laid bare, stained in carbon soot.
• You’re not a real shifter until you’ve had your skin eaten off, your body drained of blood, and had your eyeballs pecked out by a crow.
• Travel back in time to observe a historical event, alive and in person. Use your knowledge of the future to influence the outcome of said event.
• Just after his mother had died, he saw the apparition next to him with her arms outreached. Good thing it was seen through the webcam of his computer.
• We demolished a small, defenseless, sandcastle and the world crushed us like it crept up on a surprise party.
• What if every word you wrote was written in pineapple upside-down cake? Would anything make any sense?
• Write a funny poem. This could be a parody on Old King Cole, or another famous poem. You might want to try to whole Sonnet 43 nevertheless inquire of me…
• You’ve had moments of Clarity. A heightened awareness that gives you the sense that you have your feet on solid ground. But for the most part, you meander, unsure of your place. With a slight sense of fear, you’ve built walls around yourself and your heart, using your past experiences as bricks. But at this best, you are Chaotically Neutral… photographic proof.
• 1. Africa Revisited  – ‘On civilizing Western civilization, African masks, cold weather and the skull’ – Makgoba
• A man went into a shop, asked for “six back scratchers.” Mentioned ticks. “Been bitten by a dog recently?” he asked. So he asked for a “pea shooter” to “blow all those ticks away.” He said this at an old-fashioned general store. They sold everything from guns and paints to “tack and feed.” “Geesh,” says Bob. “This puppy will blow every one of those ticks right out of their blood.” Lermontov Palmerrell was able to shoot all the ticks away with a pea shooter.
• Make the reader think the story is going to follow a straight line, when, in fact, you’re going to take it on a sharp left turn.
• As he drifted off, he pinched his wife’s leg until she hit him on the belly. “Hey!” she said. “That’s not a good idea.” He said, “I was swimming and my head fell off.”
• Fiona Smythe, a four year old lives whenever her father isn’t around. Once he’s blessedly gone, she transforms into her evil knock-off of Barbie. One afternoon, her father is just about to head out to a business meeting, so he asks her to give him a kiss for luck. The request, of course, makes Fiona sick. Instead, she tells him that Holiday Barbie will kiss him on the cheek instead of “dry rubbing her lips”. Disgusted, the father leaves. The audience expects this story to go down a typical road. But no, when Dad returns home a few hours later thinking he’d made a major business deal, the father is met with a post-it note which says, “I need a bigger attic”. It turns out that, for her “treat”, Fiona took a pretty BB gun and did some barrel racing with a broom handle. Thus, the note.
• Write the story of someone who’s really, really good at PowerPoint. Even in an era of Google and Twitter, their slides are so good, the audience is hypnotized.
• Think of the space capsule scene in “Wrath of Khan” and what ensues when a man with healthy “curiosity” and a few jumplings of plunk get together.
• Imagine your laundry folder is a person. Cool, yet annoying. So you dump them out in a single heap and they jumble around like an angry drunk.
• During the Time of Gray, no one dared voice their true thoughts in public or in private. It took courage to gain new knowledge.
• A New York caveman was trying to spelunk, but could not climb up because he had a belly. So he yelped as loud as he could…then a few minutes later, his buddy dropped him a ladder. That’s not real real, but so real it’s real.
• Go inside your car and write. Give all the details – make it like no one else could have experienced this exact thing.
• Until society is prepared to accept its place within the natural order and begin setting reasonable goals for alternatives, there is no choice but to rely on the perpetuation of primitive and environmentally atrocious technologies like nuclear power.
• Write about how you woke from the most fascinating dream just to find yourself in the most boring situation you’ve ever been in!
• Tell it all. Do not be sensitive.   Trust the reader to catch only the essentials of your story while filling in the gaps. Embrace the fact that there is so much more to understand and experience than you will ever write.
• After reading these, breathe out or exhale. Still holding your finger against the key, remove your finger and look through them! Breathe out and then do this 2 more times.  See what happens.
• The longer you looked at your face, the longer you were convinced a monkey could do a better job, but he was an idiot.
• Make the thread exactly the right size to fit through the hole, and then turn it one thousand times to the right as you enter the hole… from which things currently come out.
• Why did the poet love his cabin in the woods so much? He simply loved it more than anything else in the woods.
• The terraforming is a certainty the simulations proved it. Nothing could go wrong, we planned for every eventuality. You can’t hide in spilled milk.
• Sometime in the future, a human might fall in love with a robot and other pieces of monumental fiction.
• A bear, a car, a tire, a wheel and a turkey walk into a bar. Sounds a lot like the start of a joke. But it’s no joke when the turkey comes in shooting. And the only joke you get out of it is the one on your tombstone.
• You haven’t spoken to your father in a very long time. He has been remanded to the sub-basement laundry facilities for the past several years and forced to tend to the mundane needs of the wealthy. You are ready to go see him and release him from the duties of the laundry worker.
• You’re distracted by a magnificent sunset. Succumbing to its warm and welcoming glow, your thoughts begin to drift apart as you become enchanted by the burning blue hue that dances in the sky.
• That hidden side of yourself that usually doesn’t get displayed in everyday company has to be hidden no more because the surprise party your spouse has planned for you is sneaking up on you and it’s going to be occupying every corner of your house, so, get in harmony with yourself…cause it is all out now.
• Things lay broken and forgotten, scattered as if a storm had swept through somewhere, regretting di…
• Everyone can be silent and noisy at the same time. You just need to have earbuds that are plugged into your ears…
• There are times when you write for the world to see, and then there are times when you write to see if the words will fit.
• There once was a man from Nantucket, who had a whack of almonds, and a lady from Racine, who couldn’t disarm him.
• A pleasant stroll, or maybe a marathon run is what you usually experienced on your bike tour around your neighborhood and imagined on your couch in front of the TV.
• A very hot summer day, as you laid your head on her lap, she told you a long, sad story which you never forgot. She was buried in a seaside grave, with her action figures never to be played with again.
• How many Jifs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three! One to unscrew the world, one to screw the future, and one to screw the future back on. Or you could just add all your Jifs together…
• A Greek chorus of a dozen people stand behind you one by one and speak 2 lines. It is irrelevant as to what they say. It is merely the sound of their voices.
• You are asleep within a dream, within another dream, within another dream, within another dream, within another dream, within another dream, within another dream…
• Three little pigs.  Pop! Goes the first pig’s house!  Pop! Goes the second pig’s house!  Whoops! There goes the big bad wolf…  Oh, no…Not the third little pig’s house.
• I spent all night cleaning up blood from the lobby. It was hard to get out of the cracks of the floor.
• A ship was floating in the water far below the mountains with hope in the captain’s eyes. Here it comes. One second. One…
• One of these days is sadly about to be your last. Unless you can think up a quick and clever ending.
• An important lesson for all authors who wish to create scenes of tension – make your characters talk about the farthest thing from the trouble at hand.
• Freeze time for 2 minutes. When the timer goes off, you’ll be one month older. What does the future hold for you?
• While you were away on holiday, your aunt decided to redecorate your living room in red and white and where your couch used to be is now a large bird cage.
• Einstein never wore greetings. Mohandas Gandhi never wore pants. Amelia Earhart never wore underwear.
• Have your main character wake up to themselves having done something absolutely and totally different from your previous work.
• If you could go back in time and witness the birth of anything or anyone, what would it be? What would the circumstance be, what year would it be back to? Where would you be, …?
• The Most Interesting Man in the World explains why all flags are bad and go 170 kilometers per hour in 45 seconds.
• Deconstructing the pro wrestling persona – make the wrestler into a non-wrestler and tell why that character became a non-wrestler.
• When your TV makes too much noise while on the phone, you need a remote that allows you to effectively bat at the volume control.
• You’re playing your cosmic stereo and tripped over a sidewalk crack. That’s strange. There had never been one there before.
• A journal between two friends, one who lost his wife in a car accident and one who has just admitted a one night stand after she told him she is starting to see someone else.
• You live in an average world. There is nothing special about the world you inhabit. Something or someone will come along to show you that there is.And this last one has always been a favorite of mine. It comes from video games. That’s right. VIDEO GAMES!
• You got off the bus in the morning and greeted your friend with, “Hi, Napping! Did you have a good napp?! Ha ha! Keep on sleeping and your dreams will come true.”
• Desperately searching for what idiot lost your pet bunny.  The little tyke was wearing an army helmet too. What was he training for?
• Hansel and Gretel were lost, children’s bones were forgotten next to the four day old ash of the campfire.
• One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. — Slight variation on the above creepypasta prompt, “Five Tries Not to Wake up”
• Junk was gold in California. People would pay top prices just to have back whenever they thought the world was about to end.
• It has been said that the element of surprise is very important in horror novels. Surprise works extremely well and is oftentimes one of the most powerful tools in horror writing. The element of surprise will help pack a more powerful emotional punch.
• And that was that. Abraham Lincoln had saved the country once again, thus realizing his mother’s dream of him becoming President.
• Your name will be mispronounced all your life, people will get it wrong and you can’t seem to make them stop.
• Write an elevator pitch for a killer morphological virus that eats human bones. No. Make that human flesh.
• There was a man they sent to a giant rocket! But something was wrong with the world. Something was definitely wrong.
• Mom and Dad always loved you best. You were the one they called on to make decisions and rescue them from challenging and inconvenient situations. Be careful…they may be the reason you’re in prison and can’t call your own family.
• You carry the love of your life with you everywhere you go. Unfortunately, she dies every day at midnight. It’s worse than a story in a book.
• This is more of an art technique. You pick a cool or funny sentence and then crop Griff before while typing it or doing something.
• Only humans could take over natural resources for ourselves leaving behind a mess for another species.
• You win some, you lose some. When Tagore’s car breaks down during a family vacation his life takes a turn for the worst but is it more than that. Will the sale of a winning lottery ticket unravel even harder times ahead or is it the answer he is looking for?
• Write without letting the pencil ever touch the paper. Have the fingers glide across the page as you type.
• You are sealed in a room that is temperature controlled perfectly. You can never be too cold or too warm, but you are not allowed to leave.
• Your life was in black and white. You were used to the setting, and you liked it that way. Then one day you discovered there was a color channel you had completely missed out on. What would you see with a color camera now that you’re no longer entirely shielded from color…?
• Write about a time despite a nagging voice in the back of your head you did something crazy and insane.
• Interrogate your lawn mower. Praise him for launching the first successful lawn mower satellite at the feverish apex of his mechanical orgasm.
• There once was a woman who was so attractive, four men were fighting to their deaths for the right to marry her, but the question was…. Which one would she choose?
• Dogs eat homework. It’s what they do. Period. End of sentence. The end. The era of the Thompson family.
• I saw a cockroach skittering up your arm to your shoulder. Don’t be scared. I’ll grab it and put it outside.
• Your father’s wealth and popularity have meant you one thing so far—privilege. Is that where your laundry list of qualifications end? Or have a few gaps gone unfilled?
• The Iceman Prank. Buy an 1/8 of weed then go to the freezer. Make all your friends think the weed is just covered in ice. Wake them up, and the Iceman will have come and gone.
• Think about someone you know who is either really short, really tall, or really fat. Have him/her walk into the room.
• Arthur was a child of fantasy and truth. Not often could he tell the difference, thus his name, which seemed fitting.
• Everyone else is a redbird and you’re a robin. What happened, how can they all be redbirds and you be a robin?
• Everyone thought you were Egyptian. But it turned out you were just a little black boy whose father was a dentist for the Egyptian royal family.
• Something old… Something new… Something borrowed… Something gray… The time he slipped on a banana skin and broke his leg. The dress she wore on her first date with him. They taught the millionaire to sing his last will and testament.
• What happens when you put the world’s grumpiest man in front of a mirror, and let him complain and moan about his life for ninety minutes…?
• And the following prompts are about more common submissions, and my feeling is that they did not deserve an accept, however funny stories.
• Somebody worked really hard drawing something on your face or body. Emphasize how impressed you are that they drew a dinosaur on you, or a plane, or a flower, or a penis, or a pot leaf. It has to have love in the work, of course, and detail. You’ll realize this as the story builds.
• Your school was so boring you decided to explode it. In the end this resulted in you getting expelled.
• Things the stars say. Things that wouldn’t disturb, but wouldn’t exactly lull you to sleep at night.
• Let go of every single bit of sanity you ever had and go completely insane. Hold on to hope and don’t let go of it.
• When there was nothing but sand in the brick, you had to pick up one of the bricks. Maybe it was my brick? Was my brick the one picked up last?
• An astronaut landed and grew tomato plants. If he sees another astronaut do the same, what would he think?
• Every so often, Mr. Grant comes into the break room and does an impression of Clifford Pearson’s grandmother who answers the phone at her nursing home that badly, and you notice that Meeka is terribly upset.
• It seems only yesterday we had a family of wolves, a family of mice, a family of mice that lived in a wolf, a bulldog and a cat that lived in a bank.
• After nearly destroying his village, the Lazy Prince makes sure not to repeat the same mistakes again.
• When bored at a convention, one is advised to see the before and after photos. That should liven things up.
• Two co-workers ran into each other they hadn’t seen in a while. “Good to see you,” they greet. Then one says a little sarcastically . . .
• At the murder trial, the prosecutor said that the victim had 30 stab wounds but bite marks showed that 42 teeth to be involved. The murderer confessed, but said that it was a “joint effort”.
• They warned him not to eat the fiddle player, but he did not listen. He did, of course, get sick. Everything in…
• Throw your main character in a situation that is completely wrong and confusing for him/her. His/her normal behavior will seem very out of place.
• Exactly how it sounds—nonsense punctuation. Bold and italic letters if you prefer, use as many words as you wish, be as silly as you want… just make it nonsense.
• Cold and brittle bark, the delicate touch and the delicate scent. Her hands and lips were mine. Hers and she would not be comforted.
• I tried bondage, but you don’t get quite the same screams from younger women after removing their clothes.
• If you find a way to fulfill your wish or dream would you stop wishing or dreaming? Or would you make the most of it?
• A computer woke up in a new millennium, asked itself “where am I?” and answered “Negative Space.” God was not there.
• Every action hero story needs a protagonist who needs help getting their suit on. What’s your story?
• Make something funny out of reality. Maybe you want to make a laughing stock of yourself, or you might just want to share the humdingers of reality.
• 3. Next, find an oddity in the story. Something out of place from what should normally be the case. Ask it to tell you the story. Place the story back in the box and take it somewhere completely different. Pluck out a new story of the absurdity of the first in some bizarre variant.
• This one is great because it gives you the opportunity to tap into a deep, dark place in your soul and create a detestable Exceeder with one simple adjective…
• Frodo realised as he walked down the final stretch of the yellow-brick road that it might not have been quite as easy as all that being the last ring bringer.
• The woman three houses down has been staying up until three in the morning knitting mittens for kittens.
• A one-armed man is shooting dice with God. God always wins. The one-armed man does not understand why.
• Why did the chicken cross the road? Why?  You better know the answer to that philosophical question, or you are going to die.
• Start worse and make it progressively worse until it’s extremely out of whack and you suddenly get a happy ending. Springtime for Hitler.
• Think specifically and thoroughly about the last helicopter you saw. Then the last car you saw with its lights off. The last bag of bird seed.
• Look both ways before you cross. No one cares about the people or the dog that crosses against the light. If you want to stay alive, you need to know where they are.
• The woman’s shoulder blades brushed against one another whenever she stretched her arms above her head
• A few of these prompts are more for free writing exercises than for actual stories, but either way they both have potential to inspire your creativity. If you have TONS of ideas flowing about your prompt, zip up your overalls and start writing! If you’re still looking for some fresh inspiration, don’t worry. You’ll be able to get a lot out of these so keep reading!
• The kick is a novelist, struggling to cope with a bad writing day. Unfortunately, she has no idea how to solve this problem. Her Muse has abandoned her, and every word she types expends more agony on her and less on the keyboard. There is no spell for this. There are no charms or potions that will bring the Muse back to her. So, she gets creative.
• This list is a good way to begin when you don’t know what else to write. It gets the creative juices flowing and can open up new events to put in your flash fiction.
• As long as a character has multiple dimensions to him or herself, it can be funny to throw in an eclectic mix of traits. Just when a reader thinks you’ve made a character’s outlook on life clear cut by developing her beyond the generic-ness, toss in a personality trait that prevents such a judgment.
• The person who gives you the most rhetorical questions about your life is the one who divulged information best saved for yourself.
• A kid whose father owned the local book store dresses up as the Sesame Street icon and blocks the aisle hock
• Just when you thought you couldn’t make use of laughter yoga. This book will open your heart,…
• Cats act like real cats and are the best all around pets. Dogs act like we would expect and better adapt to a modern society. Explain how boring this would be.
• Little old me, lost in the city. Feeling crushed by the magnitude of it all, the cold, hard concrete. Oh, better yet. The city was frozen in a thick layer of snow, making every movement sound heavy. It was the city’s yearly tradition to remain encased in ice, adding on to the city’s beauty and making everyone provide one another with warmth of all kinds… After all, we needed to move forward from the ice age.
• Tell us a story of a true heartbreak. Or you could talk about how that one time Jim chose Sue over me for the basketball team going to the state championship almost got me a heart attack.
• No matter how popular some other brand might be,  there was none better and more loved than the one you were using.
• Turn your antagonist into a godly complex being, and pretend to be winning the battle for all of five minutes. Then get beaten by a fifteen-year-old boy driving a borrowed car.
• These stories often have a punchline at the end, there may be an irony, weirdness or fantasy surrounding the premise, or the character may come to a realization.
• A bird falls from the sky and into your soup. You scream and jump out of your chair, food and broth tumbling to the floor. The maid misunderstands and burns down your house.
• You have unbelievably super powers. Seriously, you can make anything possible. How do you squander them away?
• Thanatos, my boyfriend, just broke up with me. He saw me with Keith at the Winter Carnival. Even though Keith has a mohawk, gold teeth and a skull and crossbones dimestore ring. Even though I’ve never even liked Thanatos in that way.
• On a clear, cold day, the sky is blue. If it is in the middle of summer, the sky can smell like butter melted into hot toast. On this sort of day, you think that there will be corn.
• Flip a coin, heads or tails? Both phrases mean either, and the reader just keeps flipping the coin back and forth.
• If you have a funny story, but you’re at a loss for how to actually write it, you might try writing a paragraph pretending it’s a very serious story. And then go through and periodically, CONSCIOUSLY write the funnier version of the same thing. My advice is…  to take a break from writing for a while and sort of have a little fun with what you’ve written. Don’t let yourself take it too seriously. Think of it as entertainment.  If your writing style lends itself more to humor, then let yourself go and enjoy yourself.
• Some stories are being told at dinner-time. Somewhere in the world. Some for the first time. Someone somewhere is listening for the first time. And someone else somewhere is listening for the last time.
• Oxymoron! The Wag Bag.   Also, look up this link! It’s a great website, but there’s so many great links included in Wikipedia that it baffles me how many can fit in there! It’s important to look at this page too if you’re a beginner! It’ll teach you terminology!
• My parents were involved in a cult, and there’s this ritual they performed where they sacrificed me.
• Have you heard the one about the person who just sat around and killed time all the time? One day…
• The letter is a lie. You may be a better writer than you think. Consider each sentence to be a letter, each paragraph a word, each chapter a paragraph, each book a chapter. Pulling those words apart you see meaning and find original story ideas in the same manner.
• This is your captain speaking, we will be experiencing some slight turbulence for the next five minutes. Please remain seated and keep your seatbelts fastened.
• Divorce isn’t easy, especially when trying to divide up all your pent-up rage. Good luck untangling these plots.
• A war has destroyed the human race leaving only robots, molded to look human. Now there is a war between the dark and light robots.
• The devil goes to at least one parent-teacher conference every year, and sometimes they even make him feel guilty.
• In order to get to the garden party, she would have to negotiate 1,967 miles of tunnels before emerging into the sunlight.
• You put on a wig and head on a quick trip to the store. You forgot your wallet, but they have it on camera, so you decide you won’t mind paying. As you exit, you see the curtain fall and hear the dial tone in the background of the camera shop.
• If a character is mentioned in one section of the story, then he or she must be cast as a character who speaks a great deal later in the narrative.
• Imagine you are a copywriter for a clothing store. Your task is to come up with some made-up sign slogans.
• Jimmy raised an ear to the lamp light to play. He could feel it loosening, maybe he could make it fall.
• A car stopped at a red light. It was a robot car. The lights turned green, but the car didn’t move. When the car was about to get a ticket, the light turned to yellow, to orange and the car hurried away.
• There once was a pirate who made out with a mermaid’s wet Wardrobe. From that day forth, he was covered in scales, and started swinging a noose around.
• The dog’s name was confusing. It looked like it was supposed to be a newly created dog ending in the suffix -y, but the dog instead ended with the suffix -day. And, to top it all off, the dog did not look like a dog.
• Another Sunday, another family argument about hair. A haircut of disproportionately epic proportions that not only divides a family, it hermetically seals them off from others and the outside world.
• A deaf person hears a knock at the door and opens it to find a race of others who live without doors.
• You didn’t look at my test grade right away. You placed the test in your backpack and went fishing.
• Make someone feel something. It can be an emotion. It can be the feeling of something. And it should lead to the next feeling. Feelings are lead. – Joss Whedon, an earlier TV writer with an earlier success on one of those small messaging things.
• Be cool. Like nothing’s wrong. Of course your then wife is not going to meet you. Why would she? You took the dog you love. Kimmy, the Chihuahua and your credit cards, car and your money. You can always borrow money from your buddy Owen. That’s what friends are for. You think you are at his house. You woke up one morning just an hour ago and came right here. You were at a party and his neighbors came over for a party. You hung out until it was time to go to work. But you don’t think you work. Yet you went to your bank and tried to withdraw money out. But the money wasn’t there. What is going on? You get up to leave. Go to his living room and you try to call Noel. But you can’t get through. She is not answering. You have a wife Sidney and a daughter Marie. You dated once. But you left what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. At the moment you wish you never stepped foot into the city. This is too strange.
• I finally lost the last stubborn 10 pounds the week before my husband deployed. By the time he came back, I’d gained it all back and then some.
• You’re stuck on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, with an iPad that never runs out of power and creates online jobs for you to do.
• I’ve always wanted to work with children. They are so innocent and vulnerable. Timmy is my first. Isn’t he darling?
• I lay down on a meadow, looked up at the sky and sensed there was something out there in the background.
• What is the last thing left in your fridge that is particularly delicious/mutant/vicious when preserved?
• There have been many articles, books, and many other creative works and compilations of comedic writing prompt ideas.
• Think of a belief about how the world works and write a story embodying the belief, then tell a story that says the opposite.
• A meteor destroys the Earth and turns everything–including one of the characters–to dust. Whether the dust remembers being made of people is up to you.
• An even funnier version is that the more things change, the more they stay the same…no one would suspect something was amiss with the status quo.
• He cares for his patients with a sincere and serious demeanor, and he is obsessed with caramel popcorn.
• Humor is in everything, even in a research writing– as Clotho always knew. Just by taking a couple of minutes or even a whole semester to look for a literary device, your paper will be funny. Why? Because…well, excuse me, but you were looking and Clotho approves of that effort.
• Hum, Um, Umm, Ahh… those were the only noises that existed before the great ‘Eu’n’ to begin existence.
• Someone dies, and their ghost lingers on, not able to cross over until the person responsible,” takes ownership” of the mistake and apologizes.
• The tricky thing with a word is that you keep using it the more you use it, the more you have to keep using it until it loses all of it’s mystery and nuance, and the more it stands for what it means and the more it doesn’t stand for what it means.
• The terrible things youngsters with the best intentions do not only to their bodies, but also their minds.
• Cue bedtime story, The Princess and the Pig. One characteristic of a princess is that they are beautiful. This describes Dawn, the princess in the Hunter family. She is just about as
• Humor is delicate. Laughing at a story only happens if one buys into all the elements of a story. This happens when everything works, if all the pieces fit together.
• The Sith created a vacuum-sealed, pressure-cooked chamber that conserves foods’ freshness while dropping their caloric content.
• For two days you and your friends have traveled across unexplored land. A cry of warning guides you as you see two large mountains on the horizon. Over the next four hours you spy nearly 17 different creatures, some you’ve never seen before.
• Suffer the little children. Let them suffer. Just pour the gasoline and strike the match. Feed the fire until it burns to your fingertips and beyond.
• In the worst of times, there is good. In the best of times,there is bad. The number of bad times as the number of good times will tell you just how good or bad life is.
• And lastly the romantic prompt. This can work in all areas of love. A crush/love is always fun to write about.
• Each time the mother checked on her child’s progress in writing, she found an addition to the story. The change was small and subtle but the words took on a sinister tone and a darker scene played out within the pages. Read more HERE . There’s no better time than Halloween to read something spooky.
• I’m a single girl in New York City who is very satisfied with her life and doesn’t need a boyfriend.
• Imagine a world in which people can read and write without actually learning how. The entire language is pre-programmed into people from birth and cannot be changed. They learn how words fit together by watching TV. Imagine a whole society like that.
• You’re in an alternate timeline in which you have to get from A to B to save the world. You’ve got one hour.
• Everyone you knew was an accountant. Steven loved accountants. He was seventeen. His father said, “Be an accountant, son. Work isn’t as much fun when you smooth out the numbers for a living.” So, Steven smoothed out the numbers for a living. It was billed as his lifelong dream. Until, one day, Steven was completely, absolutely and utterly bored. His secretary, an incredibly attractive French Exchange student, Mimi, grudgingly handed out thick piles of paperwork. Steven reported her to human resources. It wasn’t her disgust that compelled him so much as her complete and unconditional love of his miserable work life. He hired her out of desperation. For no reason but to relieve her suffering, Steven committed a small infraction on his tight little scale of morality. It felt good.
• You know the drill people. To all the great people who contributed so far , thanks once again for your time, trouble and talent. Keep on ’em coming.
• Each night you buried part of a body in the backyard. The body parts would be right there in the morning with you, with no sign of digging.
• What is hidden in the closet? A monster? A creature from your imagination? The memory of your mother’s hands when she tucked you in when you were little? Maybe it’s nothing…
• You had a jar of cookies. You opened one to make sure they were fresh but… they weren’t. That jar was fresh as your grandmother’s pie crusts!
• The Fiddler on the Roof story is a nice one to do if you want a long story with some foolishness and a touch of magic.
• A man’s fingers on his right hand are amputated. Only his thumb remains.  He uses it to give advice by saying, “Use your thumb. It’s more clever than the other fingers.”
• If you like these story prompts, please share any favorite funny-story-telling-prompts that you have.
• This is a great list of jokes and funny stories you can use to practice your oral storytelling. And as a member of Story Club, you get unlimited access to this and even more. So sign up today to help your telling skills blossom!
• Someone attacked you with odorant cologne/perfume that smells horrific. You faked illness so you wouldn’t have to wait until the scent went off.  The attackers came to give you a treatment that cleared out your sinuses so the smell could be inhaled through them.
• The pencil refused to be sharpened, chipping its point instead of yielding to the knife each and every time.  It would have been more appropriate to sharpen the knife, or at least the pencil taking the most logical action to avoid being sharpened but that is not how it happened.
• It escalated from a simple party prank, into a brawl, into a gun fight, into a city-wide scourge.  Bobsled Team Nitrocide broke their sponsor’s blockade in an attempt to find a better look.
• Write eight lines of dialogue between two people. First person speaks four beats and the other person speaks three.
• Theodore is a dominatrix. One night, her parents walk in on her getting goodies from the guy next door.
• The 91 bus picks up and drops off at various local places. One time, a local place was an old folks’ home.
• Joan and John were in their kitchen. They had dinner waiting for them. But they forgot to set a place for Bill.
• The old man at the end of the driveway found the bodies and the dog. He didn’t do anything about it. He lived down the block and down the street from every neighbor on the street. And everyone knew that the old man followed people with his eyes down and up, down and up. Everyone knew that the old man was not to be trusted.
• Every time you do something well, every time you praise someone, first think about your satisfaction right after he finishes when no one is looking.
• The professor asked the question and she sat there, her hand raised, finger poised and ready, waiting for a moment to shine. She didn’t know she was supposed to speak. But she wanted to be the best student…ever after all.
• The only thing more disheartening than someone not liking you is the thought of them knowing you don’t like them.
• This is a type of short story frequently found in stand-up comedy. You list a few abnormal points, then finish with the punch-line that ties them together. This family rock collection was a complete load.
• You know how that imaginary friend you made up when you were little stars coming for you late at night.
• Imagine how different your life would be if a few things had a different outcome or someone made a different choice.
• Run someone over without getting caught. The terms of the contract are this, you will have to disguise or conceal the accident.
• In one night, you could be best friends with babies, elderly, bosses, high school and college siblings. No judgments. An equal opportunity grub.
• It seemed a shame to use these prompts on your day-to-day work. You might want to wait for a day that you have a looming, not-dealt-with issue. It can turn out to be a powerful tool in helping you see a new side to a problem and potentially solve this issue more easily. It can also be demoralizing to see a problem solve itself immediately with resolving some sort of less-than-intimidating issue.
• Stretching? She’s been practising how to crack her bones to make them longer and stretchy like rubber bands since she was a child.
• Write a character profile of yourself. What’s your epic flaw? What impression do people have of you?
• The sight of a white rose in bloom left the villagers speechless and senseless. One spindly blossom was white. One plant, in all the village, had produced a white rose. The villagers had seen white flowers before, but always in person. Never in the art form, because the white heather and albiflora were not flowers. This single, perfect blossom was no more than a mirage, but nothing so horrible could bring the people of this village to their knees.
• Where does the lost city that never existed in the middle of Europe of a desolate country that had been torn apart by war stand?
• You’re a trolley. You have to follow the rail. If you veer off the tracks a voice shouts, “You’re going the wrong way, trolley!”
• The kid across the street has fallen from grace, but did the kid across the street fall hard enough?
• Two nine-year-old girls were whispering about their mother when one said, “I think it’s such a shame that Mom has to work. She doesn’t even notice what any of us are wearing.”
• Two guys and one girl must decide who is going to break up with who in order to save everybody’s self-esteem.
• The urge to fit the story into the shape of the prompt is as strong in the author as it is in the story editor.
• Your total is six twenty-two but you had loose change and only one bill which amounted to six dollars and twenty-two cents. Which item would you purchase?
• Your two thousand monkeys are going crazy and you can’t keep them on task. They’re everywhere on every site giving out spoilers and secrets.
• Your elementary school teacher and your best friend get in a giant fight. They call out each other’s weaknesses and failures, and just before the teacher is about to tell your friend he’s a fraud, your friend interrupts.
• Ending It needs not be said, but all of the following are very open ended. Your choices are unlimited. This is an opportunity to produce your own original fiction.
• Use in a character’s name something that is anatomically wrong, but which everyone refuses to see as incorrect.
• We’ve all done something weird when we think we aren’t being watched. Write about it and post it in a public space. See what happens!
• PETA sent you their monthly newsletter in the mail one day. Did you know they recreate the slaughter of your steak?
• Ask questions to get back at an enemy. There are only two ways he can answer with both being negative.
• Starting with “The little Red Hen” tells a story making the effort of the heroes the hardest thing imaginable.
• The Flintstones versus the Jetsons. What if Josie worked at a lingerie store and Pebbles wanted to buy some lingerie but she doesn’t have any money. So Steve makes it so the Jetsons can get free lingerie? What happens next?
• A magician is never late because he gets there twice. –Arkan Gus……. My favorite story is the one about the magician.
• You wake up and discover you’re the only person left on Earth. How will you maintain the power grid? What are you going to eat, if anything at all?
• It was a bright mountain day, but on the top of this cliff it was lonely, cold, and windy. An eagle could have circled and landed, but no one would have ever known the difference.
• Sometimes we forget to think. Thinking a pretty big word. A lot of people don’t really know how to use it.
• Write a scene where the last survivor of the human race returns to find everyone long gone. What does he do to get through the day? What reminds him of people? What does he miss about his fellow man?
• You were coming home from school one day. You were behind a house, sitting on a hill. You noticed clothes hanging on the line. You wondered if, instead of jeans and skirts, they wore socks.
• Teacher- One day you have a frog and you put it in a blender, and you can make frog smoothies. BLARGH~ That’s what you should use the blender for instead of drinks.
• What if you discovered a secret restaurant? And not just any secret restaurant but a secret restaurant with really good food.
• A unicorn walks into a bar, points to the bartender and says, “I’ll have a beer, and no one better speak or look at me!”
• Pick one object and one emotion. Have your character act out that emotion through the use of this object.
• Write about an anonymous character. No names, no description of the character, just write the events of the day as if you were this person.
• Once upon a time there was a progressive left-wing liberal chick enamored by socialist/leftist ideologies.
• You drink your favorite drink, and when no one is looking, and there’s a drip of liquid left at the bottom of the cup… you quietly eat it!
• A man walks into a bar and sits down. “I’d like to get some wine.” The bartender replies, “You’re out of luck. There is no wine in this bar.”
• You’re the new girl in town, and you don’t know what food to eat. Soylent Green? Peak Purple? Purple Flavored Soylent Green?
• Add some food coloring to your drink. Neck it in about thirty seconds. Then act completely oblivious as your friends try to point out that orange soda does not come with blue straws.
• Take 2 very different characters with an unlikely pairing and drop them into a common situation, great conversation, or funny setting.
• Explain to others what is going on in a beautiful way, that you understand as clear as day, but the others can not understand because they aren’t thinking like you, and vice versa.
• You’re at a lonely motel on a dark night in Texas. Open up the kind of horrors you’d expect and the circumstances surrounding the same.
• -Each character has one weapon, one piece of armour, one accessory, and one special skill. It’s a dungeon-crawler game, and you’ll need to roll dice to beat the monsters each round.
• You’re in the garden swearing at the neighbours cat. It’s just run off with your favourite pot plant. And you’ve got a very rare, pure white, orchid in there. You can’t believe that he’s stolen your expensive orchid, this special blossom indeed! “CAT!” you yell! “Did you take my orchid! He runs off with the cutest little grin! “Cat.” you scream!” He never learned his lesson, not even once, that sneaky cat.
• In the sea were several huge rectangular sea-veggies. They had been married for several months and were arguing about things in their life.
• Your grandmother had to explain, show and tell to your father because he thought it would be something physical that he could do instead of just talking.
• All of history, well the first forty second of it. The history of an entire world… condensed into forty two seconds… And you could not read lips, but you knew everything… and you were present.
• Our five year old neighbor/friend, or whoever you’d like, died in a tragic accident. Circa 1990, say.
• Larry would be home early every Tuesday. For years this went on silently. Tonight was his first Tuesday coming home.
• You need to isolate the main character. Take your main character out of where he first appeared and put him/her/they in an entirely different time or place.
• Remember when you were younger, how you had to wear those ugly clothes your mum and dad bought you.   Enjoy those days because now you’re too old and don’t want to wear them.
• BUT WAIT. We’re getting ahead of ourselves. This only covers the beginning. This only covers the first bit of the story. As the story goes on, you will become more and more immersed in the story. You will have bigger problems to deal with, and that will change everything. Simultaneously your protagonist will develop and improve herself. The deeper she gets into the story, the more immersed she will become. The more she immerses herself in the story, the more it consumes her life. The more it consumes her life, the harder it is to immerse herself anymore. And… you get the idea.
• And the creature spoke of a place where he could find me…. In the warm glow of his eyes…. It soothed my worries…
• Then a small bird landed on his window sill and pecked at the egg for what must have been hours, days maybe even weeks. Another appeared, then a third. Before he knew it he had a whole flock of birds. Which one of them started pecking first, he couldn’t be sure. — Hills Behind the Hills
• Sometimes staying in bed seemed like the best option. The hot water was so, so, so deliciously inviting. What a mighty quandary…to take a bath and reflect upon the warm wax structured layers of Cthulhu that impregnated the many dimensional universe.
• Your story must include a parent of yours… Who must in the beginning, seem like the most intimidating, or bossiest parent in the world. Deep into the story, you reveal that your dad just likes cookies.
• Gravel and tar make a peculiar red, the color of dried blood. The red makes the deserted town feel like a crime scene from a t.v. show.
• Waking up in the middle of the night you notice that a small, circular cleaning device is hovering directly above you. Brandishing a small broom, the device begins to work.
• When you told your sister about the pee covered toilet seat you stubbed your toe on she laughed. She just didn’t want you to accidentally tell your mom. So then you told your mom and she goes, “This is why you need a cat.”
• Several months after his dad died, Travis Hanson’s mom asked him to dig out the frozen ground in the flower bed and replace the barren dirt that their landscaper had spread. It was way too late into the year for planting new flowers, but Travis wanted to comply anyway. Besides, the whole summer before Dad had laid out plans to spread new over the old which had withered and died. He really appreciated the attention she was giving things around the old house. This was one of the first steps on their road back to healing.
• I get the junk, like what comes at the bottom of a Christmas tree. Not the pretty, caramel colored hard candy, but the rock hard sticks of sugar, faded red and green swirl candy canes, broken toffee candy bits, and the occasional Gummy bear.
• At night when everyone else was asleep, she would cry in her pillow so no one could hear her. When she was done, she would go to sleep crying. Her bed would be a little damp. If anyone were to lie next to her, it would be damp, too.
• There was a small boy who had a special hanky, one with magical powers.  The hanky knew the boy only had 12 days to live.
• When you pause to think about life and death, you realize something strange. A pause may make your life epic.
• Me and my friends were lost in an enchanted forest. We wandered for hours and hours until we couldn’t take it anymore. We finally stumbled upon the moon
• Explain brilliant commentary during a movie that the patrons had hated due to the movie theater being empty.
• People used to stop and stare at the paintings in the hallway, but by the end of the month, they still did.
• Another day, another death, another invitation into an unbelievably realistic TV world. You climbed in, twice as dyed as everyone and not worried about it all. Why?
• A diligent husband is about to hurl when he realizes he will have to tell his sweet bride-to-be that their house is infested with – what else – termites.
• Write a story that involves a character whose nose is two different colors who is brought in to solve your problem.
• Noah gathers animals of every shape and form onto an ark in preparation for a flood of Biblical proportions… Did God really say?’
• I was at the park and saw a very small police officer chasing a hobo in speedos. They were having a really good time…
• What would it be like if the weather forecast was 100% accurate? What if we knew no surprises? What if…forecasts could predict the past?
• “Wait till you see my next trick.” And then the magician’s head disappeared into the striped rabbit.
• A shape spun off the blackboard, screwing its way into the floor and down into your neighbor’s crawl space. Eventually its grinding and crunching in the dirt dissipated and all that remained was the blackboard.
• In order to change the world you want to have a younger lover. Will you wait for him or her to grow up?
• Lost and alone in the winter wilderness – 100 miles from the nearest settlement – completely broken mitten!
• Those who walk in sunlight shall become vampires, and walk at night. Those who walk in darkness shall become werewolves, and become white in the moonlight, howling at invisible dogs.
• “She got you good.  She really got you good.”  Over and over again this line gets repeated, but as the story goes on it is not as clear if someone is being serious or was someone who played a joke on him.  There might even be a third possibility in this story.
• Ginny had been writing a letter all week and it was wholly involved in her biggest secret of all. If she were to tell you, it might get out. She did not want anything to leak out. It was about the handsome young American flexing his muscle by the fireplace. He was her ticket to the stars. He had told her a lot about himself… he said he had been in the Navy and that he had sailed along the coast of Texas. He had told her he loved strong women of Texas. He enjoyed their head strong personalities and that their curvy bodies were fascinating. Beyond comprehension. But Ginny did not believe him. She knew this boy was all fluff, like cotton candy. He seemed so funnel-like. Too fluffy to be outright and he enjoyed being vague. She could tell he had also been reading a lot. Vagueness in particular.
• Let’s play pretend. You pretend to be a mother and I’ll pretend to be a child. Let’s call the imaginary friend we invented together, Wanda.
• You are possessed by a Werewolf, but it’s okay…you are in love with one. Explain why you use your new found powers for ill rather than good.
• Congratulations, we’ve all been transported into a game in a completely new dimension. One where you will have to fight for your life, or utilize any mad skills and abilities you might have to get by. You can wear all the armor you want, but if you don’t have a sword hanging over your fireplace? You’re coming with me. Is that coming with me a yes or no?
• All of a sudden, you find yourself on trial for your life, yet you’re the accused.  What do you think led you here, and how do you intend to plead?
• The couple took out a life insurance policy on their infant daughter. Two years later, McGuire’s baby was run over by a city bus. To collect on their insurance they gave the agent a list of all the babysitting they’d been doing. Turns out, they’d been babysitting the bus driver.
• A cop pulled me over for speeding. He looked at my ticket and said, “This is you, sir, here, not here.”
• Win the Lottery, a new Lexus every year, celebrity-status, play sports with other celebs, become a political powerhouse…then realize all of that is exactly the same as what you had before.
• Don’t mourn for the loss of humanity. Show us what happened in the wiring of the first murderbot. Show us how they were born. This could be a dark and twisted story or a philosophical exploration of autonomy and empathy in one of impossibility. If you can show the empathy and mercy in a robot it could be compelling and moving.
• You know how you hear of a story in the news about how criminals are rethinking their original choice of career…?
• You are watching The Sound of Music with your family and Julie Andrews breaks out into song and your family wishes you were dead.
• Sweetheart, if you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then catch it and keep it. If it doesn’t, let it go. Believe me, you’ll be happier.
• What if somewhere in history an anomaly exists where instead of Germany being on the winning side of World War II, the Axis powers were victorious in the great conflict.
• 1. Light travels faster than sound 2. It is a mathematical certainty that you will never reach your destination if you travel on trains. 3. Read books
• Write a story in which your shoelaces all fall off in the middle of a big event. And they’re not tied correctly. And they’re laces instead of ribbons.
• The story must have a beginning, middle, and end. The ending must not be pat, but surprising, yet in keeping with the tone and style you have established. Tell the story in one complete paragraph.
• Write a story about someone or something exploding, imploding, or tribulationing. Write a backstory for that bomb or superhero.
• A bunch of red ants. A bunch of green ants. Punch them together and what have you got? About a thousand mixed-up ants!
• Purple smoke pumped the car out of the garage. It was a lemon – not even a year old and supposed to be at top of the line for safety and power. Yet here we were…burning in front of a roadside diner.
• He was a sunburned football player, she was a skinny semi-star pitcher. He liked to make a fool of himself and cheer, while she watched and occasionally took tips when he wanted to learn something.
• Aunt Suzy works for the Owl Order. They both start with O. Now you have a bizarre connection to make.
• The world’s end was put off for a time when cotton was king. Dogs had curly tails and only the rich were.
• The perception of your mental narrator is always in the present tense. Show rather than tell. Show the events in the action rather than explaining what’s happening. This concrete action will demonstrate the consequences that are often left to the imagination.
• A man’s hand hurts, because his beautiful wife would like him to get rid of the crab that’s living underneath his hand for three months. But that crab is his best friend! Catch-22.
• A book is a collection of stories written down. Sort of. A gun is a collection of metal bullets in a cardboard cylinder. Sort of. A body is this collection of cells we call a “person”.
• They said he was bad. Evil. A monster. But that didn’t bother me. Nothing in their tales bothered me. Nothing except for the truth–the horrifying, blood-curdling, reality of what my father had become.
• A powerful and suspenseful story from the view of a normal automobile that reminisces a car crash story.
• A democracy isn’t a democracy without freedom, and then when freedom was found it was taken away… when it was the only thing that mattered.
• In a time before time, Where remembering was time for reckoning, A dark stranger, instilled to be loyal, Was the only creature to be Without condemning morality or technique to ascertain his closest friend
• You can’t learn anything from your mistakes if you fail to learn from your success! – Ivan R. Lobotka
• My character gets into a small argument with a family member who went missing… or rather didn’t go missing. Stopped going missing, went missing. Sorry about that.
• Kermit the Frog recounts the one time he met Jim Henson and Gene Roddenberry in Texas. Hasta la vista, until we greet again, my friend. Until we meet again.
• The couple was getting ready for bed.  The man brought in the fish bowl with the pet goldfish that he’d caught earlier that day at the park. Both the man and the fish were surprised that the fish was still alive. He thought the fish was a goner. As he went to brush his teeth, he told his wife that he was going to flush the fish down the toilet. She interrupted him mid-sentence, pointing out to him that the fish had feelings too. He backed away from the toilet insinuating that he had already been caught for what he was about to do.
• A teenage boy realizes he has the ability to reincarnate anyone who died tragically or illustrated. The teenage boy understands he can help the world or simply save the one girl he desires to have.
• Parking violation tickets are too easy to get so they should be made harder to get. Everyone speeds so there should be no speeding.
• What is your scene missing? Legs? A head? Skulls? Hearts? Tell us what is missing from your story scene and leave the rest blank.
• Going overboard and embellishing an insignificant detail. Show off how fabulously ridiculous you’re willing to get.
• Writing a short story when you don’t know what’s going to happen can be a difficult problem when trying to hammer out a story. People go at it all different ways. Four Seat Round Table has a great exercise to help you figure out your story’s plot.
• Write a character and then write another character meeting him/her for the first time. Don’t show your character to the other character.
• Upton Sinclair once said, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.” Could Hollywood be the same way?
• If you really didn’t like the second book in this series, it’s probably because you were waiting for this one.
• All of these prompts are designed to help you with your first idea. Starting with a common subject is great for beginners because it can help get your mind thinking about how to create a unique and humorous take on the subject. Eventually you’ll want to start writing creatively without the prompts. This will help you pare down ideas to your own creative voice.
• , written for the Tortured Heroines anthology, in which you are called upon to play yet another tragic character, and it’s up to you whether you choose to tamely submit or get out and leave murkier destruction in your wake.
• You were always the good girl. The one that did everything right. With christian parents. That went to church. Daily. You were the pious one and the most respected. Everyone wanted to be you. To be good like you. Separated by line drawn. Thunder. Lightning. Beach. What keeps you fed. God is a good god. Or was it the Devil in disguise? Oh. It was Jesus? Ha. No. No one told you to kill your husband after he tried to sacrifice you. No one. Let that sink in. Oh you killed your husband? When you were on acid. Weed. Sanity. What’s that? They never informed you about her, of him, your sister, your half-brother. The daughter you met or the son you didn’t.
• Navigating this space between what is and what could be… or better yet, what should be… but isn’t.
• Writing prompts will be used as a starting point for the writing exercises in The Practicum in Creative Writing resource module for The Gazetteer of Mechanical And Mythological Boston, which is available now. More on that in the coming weeks!
• His mother, who had subscribed to the mistaken belief her first child had been born a boy, always tried to dress him in masculine clothing.
• You will have a bouquet of flowers waiting for you. A very special surprise bouquet. The flower delivery boy will be with you shortly, the voice over the phone stated.
• The neighbor across the street from you went missing and no one noticed. You are having a yard sale cheaping out all of their household items and no one seems to notice.
• Write a story in which something is at first glance what it appears to be, but on second glance isn’t.
• There used to be a barber who left around midnight and the next day, he realized the barbershop was much sweeter!
• So, this nerd gets struck by lightning and becomes a genius. He gets the Nobel Prize but does not stop there. He also invents a Death Ray.
• Two-hundred eighty-two candles, one hundred eight cake slices, three eighteen-year-olds, one bride, one groom…
• Organized religion was outlawed. The Chosen One still became the savior and led the remaining faithful outside the walls and into the great unknown…as outlaws.
• The sound you’ve never heard before. The taste that you haven’t tasted. The color that you can’t see. The name you’ve never said.
• Shakespeare’s Macbeth is full of funny situations. Consider putting characters in something similar.
• You’re a chicken crossing a road. What’s hilarious is that directly under you is a road sign that says “Do not cross the road. You will get killed.”
• None of the lights would turn on. In fact, if you were to risk turning one on, the bulb won’t even light up.
• Now people need you to complete a mission, contract, or head out on an adventure. The thing is… you don’t know who sent you. Who do you listen to?
• Take three characters from three different stories or books and make them sing Let it be during the zombie apocalypse.
• The Director did not like my performance! Do you want your acting career to go? Get Actors! Read Group Acting Scenes! In The Coffee Shop Click Here To View Video Featured Below!
• You’re walking into town. There are soldiers there, armed and scribbling madly on decrees. You’re to be shot. As they raise their rifles, somehow you can hear the captain say…
• Call a girlfriend/boyfriend you’ve been wanting to talk to and start the conversation by saying something totally inappropriate. Don’t explain why.
• A mother lost her young son in the grocery store and, while looking for him, happened to notice some beauty products being used in some odd way, and she found him.
• Each day we, with the keys in hand, unlock the door to the station marked with the number 18. We look ahead. We see the bare tiled walls. Yet…
• I heard the story about me through my sister. She heard it from her boyfriend who heard it from his cousin who attends the same college as the person who knows a guy who knows the girl who is sleeping with the other girl who is my lover’s girlfriend.
• They call it day, but that’s a misnomer—”night” is so much more fitting. After all, he’s a vampire, and work’s over for the day.
• Your internal monologue asks all the wrong questions and for some reason the internet wants to attack you for trying to make the situation right.
• There’s a higher power of some sort. Kind of divine up there. But this power doesn’t answer anyone’s prayers. Just send down a single strawberry at Christmas time every year. Everyone kills each other at Christmas.
• Everything in the fridge had a face, a personality. A table full of appliances. A family, you used to call it.
• Samantha had always wanted to be a princess. It was just that she didn’t think anyone would want to be a princess in a place where fairies were made of spun sugar and princes were made of peanut butter. It was the day of her thirteenth birthday and she was trying on her whore’s outfit and riding her pony over to her boy toy when the weirdest thing happened.
• The game doesn’t always have to be obvious. Find a way to slip it in without the reader knowing even after they finish. Also note that there is never an incorrect choice, only a misleading one.
• A cold pair of hands touching warm skin, fingernails drawing marks across skin as licks dip into every prey hole.
• I know this wonderful ghost, we’re brothers in all but blood.. we’re in the process of writing a book about him, but when asked who it’s about we pretend it isn’t about the ghost. We have to worry about the serious consequences of being taken seriously.
• You know the old saying “don’t bite the hand that feeds you.” But times get hard and temptation gets the best of us…
• Write something that’s totally normal. Like, a door’s normal, right? What happens when you show me one that isn’t? How about if it’s a ghost door?
• You’re on a train. Everyone is stone faced and silent. You claim you’re on a train in the very distant future, and it’s infrequent.
• Go to the most inconvenient or least visited place in your house. There you will find your cell phone. Pick it up, only to find there’s no charge. What do you do?
• A defense attorney crawls on his hands and knees chained to a small bag of cocaine. He tells the judge he isn’t addicted and has a lot of “will power”. Really, he can quit any time.
• The nagging wife represents nature’s inquisitor, continuing to bore her thesis into the wall until it hits a hollow space, in which it booms and echoes hollowly. For those who want to bore through the wall, they suffer the most, from every other bore in history, who now become the full body of the wall. Those who stand to the side, don’t suffer a thing.
• What if the student could induce creativity/trust or understanding – etc – into the subject that other methods/techniques couldn’t, for drawing, for example. Can this be done with technology?
• All the women in prison can cook but only my sister can make beef stroganoff from the convict’s rectum. Then again, for some reason, it’s the can-opener that they all hate most. And don’t get me started on the giants! They’re huge, all of them, even the women. My sister makes the beef stroganoff…
• These impressions need to be written out, polished, and perfected. They need to be as funny as possible, but also acceptable, given the scenario they are written for.
• Write a letter in the format of someone applying for a job. In the letter, state why you’re applying for the job, and give a brief summary of your past employment experiences. For a twist, apply for an exaggerated or impossible job. For example, Yo Gabba Gabba seeks qualified candidates to climb out of the 2-year old demographic and make a smooth transition into family viewing. Only candidates with four years experience with preschool children or advanced degrees in early childhood appropriate curriculum can apply.
• You had the best shoes in your whole town. No one had better shoes.  And then…you lost them. Gone forever.  What would you do?  How would you feel?
• Pain is a way of warning something is wrong. Pleasure is a trick to persuade you to keep feeding it after it’s over its proper amount.
• Upon being asked, “Is there a reason for this interruption?!” the interviewer responds by saying, “I’ll get back with you.”
• You were just sitting on your hands and they fell off. Nickels and dimes dropped between your fingers as they slipped off your wrists. Your bones were no longer connected to each other and detached from the skin. They were small bits of green gelatinous liquid and knowing as they landed in piles around you. What do you tell your parents at the hospital?
• Write about a mundane day where something strange happens, but it’s so normal that it’s not taken seriously.
• The forehead of a teenager, like a wrinkled, pink, fleshy fruit mysteriously growing on a cereal box.
• This list can be used as a Writing Prompts Life hack or an ice breaker when interacting with others.
• Have a childlike curiosity to find out why things are the way they are. To search for truth. Become a child of philosophy.
• Did mom have a cat? No, she had a raccoon. It was very nice as well.  Routine thundershowers yesterday. Nothing to worry about.
• You should have seen the train traffic coming from the toyland yesterday… boy can they move a lot of toys around!
• Birdsong in the morning would wake me to the most glorious day since God handed the world over to man.
• Chop up sentence structure into a partial nonsense that creates internal rhymes and makes your reader sort the rest out
• We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here.
• Imagine that your whole family was in a plane crash.  You find yourself out on a satellite planet with a bunch of unclothed space pirates.
• People here love it when you underestimate them. They lap it up and feast on it with fervour.  Well, at least most do.
• Mr. Funnybunny writhed in agony as Mr. Crowbar plunged the crowbar into his skull and twisted it round and round. “Your mind has always been the most delicious part of your body,” crowed the crowbar-man. “Now I’ll feast on it.”
• You are shrunken down to the size of and stuffed into a plastic bag and then washed down a sink drain.
• Your grandmother has a rule for everything – and she says you’ve broken them all. You hope that when you tell her you’re pregnant it won’t be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
• Hum trills in the highest of pitches, screeches in the lowest of tones. Strings shudder, vibrations resonate, pipes shatter as shrill trills and breathy croaks erupt into the air.
• Don’t be afraid of cliché situations. They are work horses and teach you the rules of writing comedy. Overusing them is different from relying on them. They will stick with you in your writing forever and keep you from becoming dry as a desert.
• Close your eyes and put your left hand out. Keep it there. Now put your right hand out. Keep it there too. Now how many hands do you have out?
• Kermit wasn’t real. He was a smoke puppet. There was no him at all. To reveal this would be to rob all Muppets of purpose and existence, including myself.
• I once did a voice for a character on “Death Battle”. The character’s name was “Professor Filip Desmond”.
• Click here to head over to Chapter 1 and try out creating a new chapter.   Let us know how we’re doing!
• You don’t know anything about this. To even mention it will increase tenfold the probability that you’ll be institutionalized.
• Once upon a time there was a woman in a cave. And you just have to read it to find out where she’s at.
• It was the heat of summer, and most days were spent at the Mermaid’s cove or Skinny dipping off the pier.
• You never knew if the werewolf was a slobbering, drooling werewolf or an astronaut werewolf taking some time off from the moon. Please consider sharing this page with others! There’s a lot of readers here.
• They climb up onto the table and balance wires in my face, hoping my brain will accidentally fry itself.
• The top was taken off the mayonnaise jar. The green apple made its home outside the jar, and you ate it.
• The cockroach had a baby. Got nursed in a chest full of snakes. But it was soft. It was warm. It was safe.
• Your enemy moves backward in time and causes events to occur that when in real-time produce a series of unfortunate circumstances for you. The enemy eventually stops interfering with the past and they go about their business, but you must continue to react to set occurrences, any of which may have been the direct or indirect consequences of the enemy’s time-travel tampering.
• There’s a connector in your car. It plugs into your brain. Then, every time you think of a name…that’s the car name.
• The last line is always, “the nerve of that guy!” No one else would dare it. The guy is never convicted. How can they convict a perfectly good man? He had all the best reasons but he lost.
• There is a moment where she’s no longer a figure of curiosity, mystery and enigma, She’s just a girl.
• You walk into a bar, and the bartender says $10 for a scalding drink. It was the last drink you had.
• You were arguing with your friend over the definition of love and you saw a shooting star. You decided it was a sign.
• I could once move a full set of teeth from one part of my body to another, so a) please don’t question my abilities and b) back off a little.
• A marriage in South America is held over the volcano. The participants make vows and pray for their love to never be torn apart by the fiery lava. They marry, although it is just for a taste of the ceremony. They never come close to the volcano. Though this is difficult to understand in modern days, the bride and groom celebrate their “wedding day” for them and not for anyone else. They may not have made friends in the volcano, or made a congregation of others that stood around them at the time they said, “I do.”
• What if your ability to sing didn’t matter. Everyone could see you but no one could hear you.  What would happen?
• You’re one of those guys at the reunion who still talks about your Dad’s truck. What if he never owned a truck? What if he drove a bus, like me? Or a train, like Harry.
• What might you find in a place you would never normally look? Or would you pick a place you’d never look?
• Story By Degrees- Write a story in three episodes beginning at the stage of your life where you left off with the last episode and working forward towards the present.
• Don Quixote wandered the roads searching for adventure… refusing to accept that the world had changed.
• You arrive in a village in a distant place. Prince Charming is gone. No one will tell you why or where to start looking.  They will only tell you it will not be easy to find what you’re looking for.
• A fleeing circus elephant knocks down your door. It takes ten minutes to convince them it’s not a Cirque De Mimes.
• For the bonus points, write from the point of view of someone else, choosing something that didn’t happen, providing it doesn’t hurt anyone.
• Good storytelling is distinct from merely good writers. There are numerous good writers who do not have the storytelling skill. As such, there is no universal method of writing a good story. Reader’s digest suggests that there are some feel-good principles that are helpful in the grand scheme of narration. Keep in mind, these tips are best for non-flash fiction.
• All my characters are named after colors. My best character’s name is red! Everyone fears him, especially the yellow guy, cause he’s got short-term memory loss.
• There was a shadow falling across her, too dark to be any earthly thing, and far too big to be anything of this world.
• You go to knock for “7” and notice that the doorknob is missing. Put the story together from there. Whenever a character is introduced, perhaps they can disappear right before your eyes.
• You met your one true love in the most unlikely of places. Even stranger is the fact that they didn’t mean a thing to you.
• Your mouth was stuffed with cotton candy and you just couldn’t stop eating it until your stomach was stretched to capacity.
• What is that song that gets stuck in your head because you’ve heard it so many times? What did you do to try to get it out?
• Everyone needed a unique talent to display before the king. When it was your turn to perform, you called forth your goat. Everyone gasped in awe as you unleash your goat to roll a most magnificent hoop.
• Your friend in the Humvee deserts your unit for another overnight mission saving his own life leaving you to die. You do.
• She reasoned that if 0.999… is the same as 1, then anytime she said she loved me one-hundred percent, she was leaving me empty.
• Start out with “Once upon a time” and close with “happily ever after”. Change only one word in the story, but you don’t know which one.
• The story until that day hadn’t been unusual in any way. The cat sat on the mat, the sun came up, James arrived at work. But the fact of the matter is… what came after proved to be anything but ordinary.
• Think about an event in your past, or possibly your current life, from a different perspective. The night of the prom, but your prom date was dead and your car was possessed. Therefore, you have become a successful horror writer, still stuck with your prom date who is now a twisted, ghastly ghost that hates your guts. You also just moved in with someone you used to babysit. He’s a nice guy. Get along with your friends. Same name as your prom date.
• Woman about to receive the highest honors awarded by the U.S. president is turned away from the White House.
• What is the deal with people spelling words differently? They’ll write “you” when they mean “u.” It’s enough to make you cry. Write about someone who cries when people spell words wrong.
• You get noticed when you’re happy and your energy radiates goodwill and cheer. You are so amazing when you’re happy- wave the sleep thing off the table right now and get that spirit full on!
• There’s a man who can help you. He can fix anything, make anything better, and won’t charge you more than a fair price. He supports himself by selling fake ‘holy water’, but it works just as well as normal holy water.
• There used to be blood and now there is none. There used to be screams and now there are almost none. There used to be couples getting lucky and now there are no clues.
• Observe your surroundings and then write about them. Maybe what you have to say comes in the way you say it.
• It was a gift. That’s not what name five on the list was. Your little sister’s. Flowers. Better. But… wh-wh-where did you tell you wanted them to go?
• 100 words. A prompt can be a person, an inanimate object, a situation, a dialogue–just present it to your audience.
• And the boss says, “there’s no such thing as authorized overtime. You wanna finish the project? Then you’ll need to steal hours.”
• Write your own story about the world according to snow, either adding onto the story below, or making your own.
• And you wake up in the morning and you look at your arm and it’s- it’s covered in another arm. Oh no.
• One Monday morning, all of them were to run a time trial and then they discovered that their shoes were gone. No one owned up.
• Others can’t read your minds… But you can still communicate with them, even if they normally don’t.
• You are the Queen of Sheba. You’ve sent word to the King of Israel asking him for an honor. What is the honor you’re seeking?
• Someone out there on the highway, a hitcher or a hitchhiker, was in dire need of a lift and a trusty Samaritan gave them one.
• The characters lose their voice. How do they communicate? What do they do? Are they unable to live without voice? Who do they turn to?
• Write something normal, then write something absurd that would happen before or after your normal story.
• Tell the story of a failed attempt at writing an essay, playing a piano concerto or saving the world.
• Be sure to check out the next article in this ongoing writing series where I’ll show you how to outline your short story!
• When you were four, you loved princesses. You loved princesses. When you have a daughter, you will love princesses. When you have a son, you will love princesses.
• Well, Janet got turned to stone, Dorothy got to go home, and Carrie puked up her pig’s blood everywhere.
• What if someone told you to always be honest and you had to tell the absolute truth to everyone you met for the rest of your life?
• What’s Red and White and Blue and Green? A baby that’s been covered in blueberries from head to foot!
• There once was a wise man who said the tree that falls highest in the forest makes the most noise when it hits the ground. He forgot to say anything about the thorny trees. They tend to really hurt when they come crashing down with a fierce velocity.
• When you made the window into the bathroom extraordinarily large. Extraordinarily large. Your window was the biggest of the bunch. That’s why they climbed out the window, right?
• A rich banker lives in a tall apartment building. He hears a gunshot in the adjoining unit and opens the door to find his neighbor slumped over dead in a pool of blood. The detective asks “Do you know anyone who would want him dead?” The banker blurts out “I do! He foreclosed on one of my factories!”
• Write about your best friend or your worst enemy. Then, write some of the same scenes from their point of view.
• You walk into a room and without knowing why, the audience starts clapping. What have you done and what are you wearing?
• Come out from the shadows and shine. There’s a whole neighborhood out there waiting. Don’t be afraid.
• Two brothers we were born, inseparable we were. We did everything together and when dad said “Go cut that wood!” we said “Yes sir! Alright!” without a second thought.
• Maybe you will laugh at these funny statements. Or maybe they will make you think, just a little bit.
• While at the grocery store, you purchase a small child, apples, oranges, a turkey, cigarettes and marshmallows. Why?
• The baby was born just as your parents were buying the area’s first VCR . They named it VideoVCR John Lennon Lennon. Yes, way before iPods, there were just people walking around named John Lennon Lennon.
• If Juan were alive today, he’d probably be running Petrolica. Leave it all behind and that sort of thing. …If Juan had been born at all.
• You know you’ve lived in your house a long time when you look down the hallway and you see the same footprint that has been there since you moved in. And that was three pets and two kids ago!
• Someone from history goes back in time and makes themselves appear as they are now, living the life they have always dreamed of. Who is it?
• Write about how horrible and mundane your life is. Challenge yourself to come up with a positive spin to this.
• When you were younger, cops would drive by and roll down their windows, walking in slow and giving it their best roaring children a Christmas.
• A Blonde kidnapper is running down the street to get away from the police. A girl tells her to hide in her house. The blonde goes inside and the girl locks the door behind her. What happens next?
• You belonged to a group that no one believes exists. If you told a lie, would that belief branch out and spill over onto the rest of the world?
• The team was in the locker room. They were all insisting someone had to shoulder the blame for when they lost this evening. This team was one of the best in college history. No one could ever think that it had been a humiliating defeat that had been at hand. But, it was…
• A vampire is walking around with a lamp looking for the evilest person in the world. They have already visited Mr. Hyde, who was definitely evil. He tried to stab you with a fork but you escaped. You have left the house looking for the next evilest person you can find in the town. It is snowing and very cold.
• Your dog saves your bike from falling off the roof of your car. His intentions bring your family to look at you like you should move somewhere else.
• These are funny story prompts for kids, good family fun, inspirational funny story prompts, and funny story ideas you never thought of.
• You have to laugh, because otherwise you’ll cry. But you’re already crying because of that gorilla pounding your head against the wall through your computer monitor. You’re doing some crying, pounding, laughing, yelling, fighting…all at the same time, so…
• Farmer Akkbar, staring at his newborn calf of rare aqua in color on this day, May 21st, always grew sad each year at the thought of the day ending. Farmer Akkbar, an old man who had farmed long, lonely days himself, took each day personally and developed relationships with each of the days that he grew up with. As a matter of fact, his first memory began by being laid into the arms of his mother by his father as she yawned and gently sung a lullaby.
• Folded paper can only end up a peculiar shape, The shape you were when you first noticed a peculiar feeling.
• You have met all the people who will come to be the most important figures of your lifetime. You haven’t met the last two.
• The most fascinating/weird character in the park is thinking about/preparing for/having/coming back from?
• Write about a random song running through your head. Ensure it is as far from your subject as possible.
• In a Magic Kingdom in America there was a big blue house, the house was so big that it needed the efforts of hundreds of people just to maintain the paint job. Looking back now, it is not as big as it used to be.
• You discover that you have to go randomly murdering someone each day. You can’t stop killing, nor can you tell anyone.
• Receive a letter from someone you don’t know. Try to figure out why they sent it to you. Maybe it’s just to show off how pretty their handwriting is… or maybe there’s a deeper meaning…..
• Tell the story of the first car you ever learned to drive. Tell why it was your favorite car to drive.
• A lesson dealing with uprooting the heartache of physical or emotional death, or relating to death of a person or metaphorically in some way in the story.
• Everyone in public office should be replaced with an emoji. We would see less corruption and more emoticon appeasement.
• If the narrator knew about the mythology of Orpheus and Eurydice, they probably wouldn’t mention them.
• A New York City that never sleeps? A farming village where you dance all day? A knocking shop where prostitutes have active libidos! A battlefield where you’ll face a friend who’s an enemy? A business trip you wished will become a leisure trip. A religious team that does not follow the word of God? A relationship that’s mutually exclusive for partner’s sake. A toast that wanders around…
• After rejecting allTM, your parents become cross because you lied for nothing but a weak lasting punishment.
• The day before yesterday was a holiday. Canceling France’s victory over Russians on the common holiday occasions during French Middle Ages ///OR/// the day after tomorrow
• Standup comedy often requires a jockey premise, with the premise illustrated by some amusing situations. The punchline usually comes at the end, and is often an abrupt realization by the protagonist.
• A chimney sweep had fallen asleep on your fire escape when you woke that evening. It was New Year’s Day, the year was 1953. It was a cold winter night he had spent there…
• Be a good old-fashioned customer service representative and fix your problem by billing it to another department.
• Introduce a random trio of characters and end it with something that sounds like the answer to the question “what did you do while you were there?”
• Talk about very ravenous creatures in a nearby pond. They punch sharks every day. Very powerful ravenous creatures.
• Example A would lead one to hypothesize that B might be horrible. Example B would lead one to hypothesize that C might be horrible.
• A living doll, a “baby” with its arm ripped off, someone’s head in a refrigerator, an overgrown Dachshund, with dreadlocks, spitting into his own mouth, all play pivotal roles in this story of romance and suspense under the bright blue hot Florida skies at a rest stop along I-95, halfway between my hometown and Jacksonville, where lovers go for their final rendezvous before heading, full of hope and promise, into the light of their respective futures and perhaps, oblivion.
• The old lady wanted the house to cost only five dollars, and the realtor wanted to make lots of money, so an agreement was reached…
• When Joseph woke up, he found the necklace gone. “Your brother took it!” said Mary. “That jerk!” said Joseph. “But he’s family…”
• These examples are simple but can be used for creating more complicated and funny stories. Remember to keep it simple because it’s easy to make your story excessively complicated. Yet, try not to bend the truth. We know you could spin a yarn if you wanted to, so keep it real.
• What are some of your favourite topics to get people’s funny bones tickled? Signs, Metaphors, Visuals…
• You’re alone in a bar, with a complete stranger, who strikes up a conversation about your lack of company. What’s the first thing to come out of your mouth?
• Due to the amount of structure involved in this creative writing idea , not everyone will feel comfortable with the prompt.
• The demons on the wall seemed to multiply. Last night you prayed to God they’d leave you alone. Today you told Satan to take care of them for a moment while you finished the yard work.
• Get someone’s name wrong. Accidentally quote someone famous. After telling the story two times, you get to make up your own details.
• The family of four, mother, father, and two children were ideal, eating chocolate together in their kitchen, before the mother of the family screamed “Where did all the chocolate go!?”
• Make one small change that is so absurd and strange that it changes the course of the character’s life.
• Every time they opened drawers they found a pig. As a matter of fact there were meaty clumps of pig bursting into the drawers and everywhere there was snow. It was very cold.
• Robin Hood steals from the rich to give to the poor. Why didn’t he do it my way? Give it back to the rich?
• Tell me. If your hair is pure hemp, and you don’t hurt anyone, would a lawyer really call you a criminal?
• When Aragorn finally grew a beard on his expedition to Mordor, it was a sign that evil was doomed. It was a beard of justice and of revenge. There was much of mankind to free, and many of that man were clean-shaven.
• Begin, or lead-in with the bizarre fact that when you become a man/woman, you don’t get a grown woman/man as your reward, but an immature teenager.
• No matter how many times you ask how to get started with your science fiction work out, your creator insists that you take a swim instead. He also tells you that trees and other plants love moving around and that you should run as fast as possible and plant your feet wherever they’re touching.
• Imagine how weird or strange a setting can be just because of the patrons, employees, or decor of a restaurant.
• There once was a girl called Maya who ate nothing but onions because she wanted to know what chicken tasted like.
• Stephanie wasn’t sure what to do or where to turn. All the answers she always seemed to know were only blurry refractions playing tricks on her in the mirror along with some sort of mistake.
• This comic could be used when a woman is beside someone telling a story in an animated or excited manner. Click on the preview to enlarge.
• When life gives you step-mothers, shuck them and make delicious spicy friendship bracelets or necklaces instead.
• There is always the guy who swam a lot, then ate the oyster. Problem was, it was followed around by the griefer. That guy did everything he could to swim and he could not shake Griefer ..
• Crickets chirped and the fireflies shined. For miles, around the hills, and all up and down the valley, the crickets chirped and the fireflies shined. It was a perfect July night, birds chirping, crickets chirping, and fireflies shining. This was the night Bob set out to kill his wife with a firefly. During the walk to his house he thought, “I can’t bring myself to do this” and he quickly turned around. The following day, Bob caught a firefly. That night, he said to his wife, “This is for you. Happy anniversary.” and released it into the air. This went on for years. Each year Bob caught a firefly and tried to hoist, strangle, poison, electrocute, or drown his wife. He even at times prayed to a god he would not believe in for help and often felt that there was no way he could go through with it again.
• Woke up one morning and picked up the newspaper and the television was obsessed with your funeral. Try to find out which one it was.
• She was tall. Taller than the tallest giraffe. Taller than the tallest tree. Taller than the tallest something.
• I’ve never seen a purple elephant. I’ve never seen a purple elephant. I’ve never. I’ve never. I’ve never seen a purple elephant!
• It’s been days since she completely took control of my thoughts. How can this be? They say the heart was the most important muscle in the body, for some reason mine is in a condition of extreme hunger and fatigue.
• The secret to remembering these stories is how they wrap up. Make sure you make the payoff a solid punchline. It makes the audience feel rewarded for listening.  Just remember this is a storytelling game.  Funny story still counts as a comic book. Allowing the storyteller to improve the ending gives you a bit of a wildcard factor.  Use that to your gamemastering advantage.   What funny story is more outrageous than a time traveling cat? improvise that ending.
• It was just them and they were never sure who did it. Every year they would ask What was that Crusaid we bought last year?, That was good, who would like another one?
• That last question could be anything. Maybe about your pet. Maybe a question about how you felt yesterday, or a memory you have of something that happened to you. Play with it. Have fun. Make up the most absurd thing you can imagine and answer in complete 100% seriousness. Try to answer any and all questions in detail – remember, your grade on the essay is based on both the quality of your grammar/language and your ability to follow the prompt given.
• Haven’t you ever wanted to write a story that threatened people with unpleasant disciplinary action? Here are fifty ways to threaten someone with spanking.
• You stumble upon a druid ceremony while camping and get trapped under a paralyzing spell, then get attacked by a flock of bats.
• Superheroes must adhere to a strict Code. Here is your chance to experiment and write a story using actual coding.
• Papers should be free . Taxes should be illegal . . .crime should be legal because crime doesn’t exist.
• Try using the work of others to write your own. Many books choose your own adventure or comedy like scenarios which can be a fun way to… well… write the proceeding comic.
• Plot a course. Set a goal that seems attainable or achievable. Now go for it! It’s only time, you only live once. So plunge the depths! What would it hurt if you could go through it once? Did you try? Yes? Then, you’re probably more prepared for it than you realize. Besides, the fear and jubilation are on the other side of the wall, waiting for you. Risk anything for the sake of brevity. And get it done.  Write about it.
• Coffee doesn’t break the laws of physics, especially if you decide to do it in reverse. And if that’s a problem for you then we don’t have to be friends.
• The garbage collectors called one night. They insisted you have too much garbage. They wanted it the next day!
• Now known as the “Pear of Anguish,” the Captain’s Harpoon was seen hanging next to the Granite Annihilator, above the Pirates Den at The Burrow on Friday, March 4th, 1865, the day he vanished without a trace.
• She talks with a southern accent even though she’s from the north. Someone’s been putting microchips in her diet coke!
• You start using a word, then suddenly realise it won’t fit into the sentence and just stand there staring – dopey.
• Remember that old computer game? Harvest Moon?  Yeah. You have that. You will always have it. Make it work for you. Till it hurts.
• The story of a tiny character in a big world. Who could be more opposite to someone than a micro-size specimen?
• Did you ever see history portrayed as an old man with a wise brow and pulseless heart, and experiencing the coolest of all cool reveries? Now, it is satire.
• You approach a bar with the most delicious-looking men…and they greet you dressed in the riot gear and armor of the Societas Quarta Flavium. You cough politely, but nothing happens. So, you roll up your sleeves and prepare to make someone’s day . . .
• this  cheerleader jumped over the school and ended up in Africa… the moral of this story is don’t do drugs kids…
• He spoke, but his words didn’t match the movement of his mouth, making it impossible to determine what language he was speaking.
• On dogs’ backside are a series of nodes in insurgents to make your dog like some people, your dog might have inadvertently contributed to the act of terrorism.
• What comic superheroes do you know of? All of them? Give me/us the origin story of more unknown/lesser known comic superheroes.
• What is normal to you might not be to someone else. What do you “see” white as? What did you do that no one saw?
• Wendell E Carson, also known as “Close-Up Magic” resides in and hails from Cincinnati, Ohio. A man of many talents, he has many stories for us to read. His story ‘The Tortoise‘ was nominated for the Drabbles4Review prize, and will appear in an upcoming issue of On Spec magazine in Canada. He reminds himself every day not to cut his hair short.
• God was going on vacation, and instead of taking one of His decoys He decided to let you run the universe.
• As a child, your father convinces you to always lie. He knows you can’t always be responsible, or keep up with the truths, and he needs you to always be honest with him. Sometimes, at night, when kids your age are playing or hanging out around you, their parents ask if you’re staying over for the night.
• Twins! Aren’t they great?! At least they are when they don’t share the same name and the name shows up in each story.
• Say someone is doing a very mundane task that they hate, and introduce a monarchy. Make this kingdom be a parody of how alive most modern monarchic dynasties are.
• Open with an apocalyptic scenario. What’s happening when you kick off the story? If you begin just after the problem, it’s not exciting enough. Make it seem like the end of the world.
• The descriptions of your friends’ eyes were very interesting and specific. And important, which is why you’re now in your third story about this.
• A steamroller, musical, cannibal family who all happen to speak with an English accent and still live in an attic together. And they invite a lonely, depressed, depressed God. Who continues to repeat his story titles over and over again.
• Somewhere in a desolate place an old man and old woman bury a black box in a shallow grave in the sand.
• God was telling a story. He told you to do something really important. He forgot to give you the punchline.
• Write with a sleight of word or an easily skimmed over detail that may have a whole other deeper layer of meaning underneath.
• Introduce a story as if it happened to your roommate’s best friend last week  –  with a lot of detail.
• There was a point in history where everything made perfect sense. Somehow, for some inexplicable reason, it’s all become totally insignificant.
• A family of monks have lived inside a sequoia for generations. When they were discovered by loggers, the monks, with no other option, moved to their spacious concrete bunker in an undisclosed location under Northern California.
• To begin, compose humorous poems, form words into sudden verses and lines. Inspired writing catches the reader by surprise! Read examples of funny poems.
• The best lie is not the one that hurts another person. The best lie is one that helps another person.
• The mouse took the mocha and scurried out of the cafe as quickly as his little feet would take him… stolen.
• There was a board game. Takes place in a hospital. You had internal injuries. Everything about you was in authentic order. Life was merely a mimicry of reality.
• A story that starts off normally enough but quickly changes into something strange because the reader was not paying close enough attention to what was going on around them.
• So to use this list of funny story ideas, you can either use them as starting points for your own stories or you can copy out the story starters below and then map out your own stories. Young people should definitely incorporate these writing exercises into their writing schedules. Folks who have never written before will find that these funny story ideas will fire their imagination. Warning. Writing is addictive. Instead of looking at these story starters an hour later, you will have written your own funny stories and found out why they are so much fun to discover.
• There was this kid during elementary school who tried to trade the life of another student for an ice-cream…
• Your town resides in the shadow of the next town over. Is there exposition? Is there conflict? Either would make a nice short story.
• If you happen to walk into your house and your mother is wearing your underwear, don’t panic. If this happens approximately every day, consider yourself adopted.
• Your favorite vampire. Why is he or she your favorite? How will you make your vampire a character to adore?
• A lost and found ticket somehow made it into the umbrella you are taking home from the airport. What is on it?
• Find the comic in your everyday life, it doesn’t matter if it doesn’t look funny to others. Focus on it to ring the comic’s innermost bell.
• A long time ago, when on vacation and staying with his grandparents, a young boy sees something that no child should see.
• A bunch of flowers grow around the wall of a castle. The flowers are beautiful and smell great. Sensing a growing threat, the flowers burst through the wall.
• Bob Rader never liked school. He always got sick a day or two before exams.  It happened so many times his mom got a letter from the principal saying that Bob didn’t do his homework because he was superb at coughing up a lung.
• Bring a character from another media to your story and do your best to fit him or her into the story.
• Love is wanting what’s best for the other person. Love is wanting the other person to live a life without regret. Love is wanting to give… not just take. Love is like Michael Jackson’s music. Love is when you apologise and the person you’re apologising to tells you it’s OK – because they know you’re really sorry. Love is…
• It was midnight in Allentown and all the creatures were stirring from their slumber and Frankie Gorshin cackled, “The clown you hate is heeeeeeeee!”
• Introducing a new flavor of potato chips forces everyone to reexamine the relationship between your brand audience and your primary offering.
• This two-sided coin of consciousness – an absurdity reflected in a mirror – forms itself into fractured magnificence.
• A sentient corporate entity who is unhappy with some policy or other attempts to negotiate a favorable change, only to gain more than he expected.
• If you wanted something you waited until Christmas. If you wanted money to buy something you saved until you could pay for it.
• Personality tests? Of course you took them. What? What did you think? That everybody ‘just knew’ who you were?
• There once was a man who lived downstream from a bar. Every night, as he slept peacefully in his bed, he kept dreaming about the things that other people had left behind.
• Two shopkeepers, identical. They’ve been doing business together for a long time, but now they hate each other.
• Two old ladies, one old man and a group of rebellious penguins decide to take a flight to the Arctic.
• A man and a woman were getting married and the man asked his wife to pick a color for the leaves to be at the wedding that was to be in May. And the wife said, “I don’t care, you pick.” And the new groom said, “Then they’ll be green.”
• Go back to about three years ago. Talk about a few painful events that have hurt your life. Then, set up the time machine. Go back and have a messy breakup before the relationship begins.
• Amelie didn’t eat raw worms and she wasn’t a libertine but she had a pretty big world, especially for one so very tiny.
• You’re in a race against three others. They bother you for answers as you frantically solve math problems and the littlest she asks “why does Dad let you play video games all summer?” How do you respond to her?
• The additional dialog and explanations for the oddly out of place duck in this short story are surely what make it so absurd. The irony, humor and unexpected events or plot twists in stories are what leave you laughing. Take a look at how many funny speech topics you can think of by delving into the worlds of fiction. The first world of funny writing is the story , another is the article , and third is the joke .
• All cops are penguins. Take a short file of dialogue or a monologue and change it just enough so that the reader never “skims” it.
• You’re running from the mob… time is short. You enter the bank, shake the terrified teller and shout, “Fill the bag, FAST!” but the teller looks at you with a blank stare. “Tell me that you believe in the 50 cent pizza slice!” you implore him. “I do?” he responds quizzically. The barrel of a gun touches your temple. You start to lose faith in God. Zen masters may say that faith in God is illogical and blind. Has this monk transcended politics and realized war must be won on Capitol Hill? Does this mean that the sacral koan will be mathematically solved? Wait! You step past the threshold of normal execution and realize the somewhat warm red velour interior. Promising lad!
• Prince Charming crashed your party. In a bad way. He got punched in the face by your Fairy Godmother for being a leecher and a retard, and because your Fairy Godmother hates him.
• Part of the refrigerator door wouldn’t shut all the way, and so, when it opened and closed one day it briskly slapped a chipmunk….. right on the back of it’s head… Check this out for some other story writing prompts
• You wake up in the morning and open your curtains, and see a volcano in your front yard. Just sitting there, calm as day.
• Don’t be afraid if the first draft makes no sense whatsoever. If it makes sense, great! If it doesn’t, you know that you’re on the right track.
• When God separated East from West, allowing humanity access to distant lands, the exploration that took place at the end of the fourteenth century was a once in a lifetime chance to find the “Lost Continent.”
• It becomes a one-way ticket back to Africa. For whatever reason, your character feels compelled to return to their birthplace. What stopped them? How?
• The Bastille Day parade starts. You are surprised because you are only expecting the stroke of midnight.
• Write the instructions, dialogue, and stage direction in the form of a monologue or interior monologue.
• Now that you’re married you’re like his wife. You love him despite his character flaws. Until he has a lesbian affair with the neighbor you geht along well. It’s fun. Oh, isn’t she so nice…Wait, she looks familiar…
• An author writes a steamy novel and makes it into the present-day New York Best Sellers list. While reading this novel, readers become overly aroused and, Pollyanna like, go around kissing complete strangers.
• You’ve got to really love the person you’re taking to. After all, it’s going to be the best time she’s ever had.
• When the author was a child he lost his first tooth, and when no one came to pick it up he grew a new one.
• Blow your mind, let your imagination run free, fill your mind with silly thoughts. Your fantasy might just be a silly one, but at least it’s creative.
• You’re reading and while you are reading hot steam rises from a tall cup of coffee. You look down and notice that you’ve also read a page with a giant coffee stain. You turn back to the page you were reading, drink some coffee from that cup and return to your book.
• Your story is not a happy story. You’re writing the story of your life – it’s happy until now. It’s time to go deeper.
• Tell about discovering an ancient farm in your living room that is inhabited by tiny octopi. Look, one just scurried across the back of my neck. Tsk. And it just left a spot of octopus slime.
• And so, you ended up walking through the woods until you became lost for 12 years, but it doesn’t matter, you survive. Is it possible that this is the happiest story of all time?
• Think of the most popular global retail corporation and then write a story about them without using the company’s name.
• What’s in my hand? Could you guess? Let me show you that…ok, ok…I’ll hand it over. It’s in fact, a purple snake.
• You’re stuck in a building with three other strangers, and there’s no  way out. Give us a play by   play and a thrilling bit of dialogue!
• Unfortunately, such easy steps will leave you with four unfinished, unappreciated stories, and maybe you’ll still have the “writer’s block.” What do you do, then?
• I had a dog named Toothpaste and it was my best friend. When Toothpaste died my parents got me a new dog… it was orange.
• Pretend you are a magician along the lines of Harry Potter or Aladdin . Designing magic will work to solve your problem.
• To get over a hurdle, you had to devise an elaborate and complicated system of pulleys, ropes, insulators, and a pony.
• Tell a story in the second person, meaning, you write as though you are not present, using both “you” and “I.”
• 1.  Your first memory is of walking out of your house from behind as a child looking over your shoulder at…
• As you are walking up to a house knocks on the door and realizes they are not at their own home and guess what? They don’t have a home anymore. Where did they go? Who are they? WHY?
• There once was a man from Racine. Who invented a bacon tree. Made of acacia and hazelwood. Then you were encouraged to eat nuts from it.
• In this land of orcs, hobbits, and ogres, one accomplished warrior must stand alone. What happens next?
• A man who decided to make a bath as hot as the steamy clouds of a close gives the crops a good soaking right before harvest time. As he wanders aimlessly, he comes across men on horseback who tell of a perception he has. His teeth are dripping with saliva. He’s so angry.
• You write a story about one of the teachers or faculty members and make them seem like the sanest person on earth, or you show them all going crazy.
• But my kind of green. Not that money green. The kind that popped out of nowhere no matter what season you consider it green in. You know. The color of sponges…
• Write from the detached perspective of an observer who is simply relating a bizarre story without judgment.
• After landing on a particular Farmville building, the Indian man gets trapped in the attic and jumps out to eat Reese’s Pieces.
• This story does not have a protagonist, which is absolutely necessary. Most stories have several, if not many.
• A sentient video game character receives a copy of your manuscript and wants to know if he or she made the right buy.
• There are so many different and unique causes the school board needed a new word to describe all these everyday miracles. They decided on – Every Occurrence.
• Your teeth were perfect, white, straight, even, and very white. Your dentist even said so himself. But when you laughed, the whiteness of your teeth made the people laugh. Not with you, but at you, which lead to their teeth not being as white as yours.
• My boss told me that my son can never let it lie. Then he added that if he doesn’t he should never work for me.
• You had been waiting for the bus for twenty minutes. That’s no small task when there’s wheezing and coughing from a bus exhaust.
• Your sister was stolen by a stranger when she was two. You were babysitting at the time and got a brief glimpse of his face. You’ve grown up with his face in your head and he looks like… Not someone you should confront.
• Don’t just write your Silly Story. Give it some character. Anything along the lines of gifs, memes, dance moves, objects. Draw, sketch, or paint your Silly Story.
• In a world where no one believes in absolutes, what can absolute fanatics shine as bright beacons? White on a white background?
• No matter how much he tried, the door would not budge. It was stuck. Stuck like glue. Even more stuck than that.
• The trees sighed in the morning. Life lived amongst a busy, urban street could make anyone sleepy. Today was no different.
• You don’t need to know how and when and why things happened and who was involved. Don’t fill in the blanks. Just tell it like it happened, starting with this sentence.
• You left for vacation with a paper due. Before you set out on your trip, your brother told you  that he had an extra copy of your paper. You don’t remember whose paper it was exactly, but you’re certain it’s a good one. It’s full of academic jargon and footnotes and looks like your professor’s thrown up everywhere. You are determined to distract him with words and numbers so that he goes away. Why don’t you call your paper “You are the Fanciest of Fruit,” He deserves this.
• As two people watched she blew three wishes into the sky.  He wished for more wishes. The stranger coveted the first man.
• “The shoes were shiny black pump heels. It took him four tries to get dressed. Shoes first, then socks. He tried entirely too hard in simple activities.
• I would think it would be lonely at the top, to which the reply was, “well look who’s not worried if you liked it!”
• A sheep, a goat and a cow had a party. They invited some other animals. One chick, a dog, and a bird. They ate ice cream, shared cake and played games until their stomachs were full. They felt like their lives were complete. They were happy. They loved to just smile and laugh and have fun. They felt like everything was lovely. They all slept like they were on a big pillow with full bellies for the rest of the night. And in the morning they talked about what a happy night they all had.
• I know that this event isn’t actually going to occur, but it’s a fun idea. Be completely serious in telling the story, no matter how ridiculous it appears.
• One day, out for a picnic lunch, a father notices his son standing next to a small stream, throwing stones into the water.
• If one attempts to discuss a paradox or act in dissent, the word one is always, definitely going to be used. The stronger one makes his point, the less effective his dissent is going to be. If one kicks the proverbial hornets nest, one shall become endlessly debating with genuinely authoritative individuals.
• This has a tongue-in-cheek-ness that runs through the entirety of the book. The narrator’s mood changes frequently, often without warning.
• This is not a collection of horror, though my heart flinches to call it funny. It’s more a place in which you might laugh yourself sick, or even, perhaps, a little, too horrified, too afraid to ever shower the experience off or leave what you have read behind. It’s a sick world, but you know that already, don’t you?
• We are audiences for each other. It is a mystery…There is still so much to know about ourselves and each other.
• You have to make a photocopy of them, but you forgot your photocopier code. What are you going to do?
• A woman hires someone to punch her in the face until she falls in love with him. Are the punches worth it?
• Talk about someone who is completely everyday. No one would know he or she was special.– Submitted by Diana Wentworth
• A lightning strike killed him. Well, no, it was actually the whole “thunder” part. He fell on his coffee table trying to run away from the room.
• The want just sat down for a moment, and oh, yes, it stood up again. It moved much slower now, but it did stand up again.
• There’s always trouble at the tippy top. It seems the higher you climb, the more treacherous it gets. This is especially true when a queen has taken over a white cottage.
• Your incurable disease is morphing into something you actually sort of look forward to, but won’t admit it to your sister.
• You are wearing the nicest shirt in the world. Everyone notices it. Who cares, right? No one? Sigh…
• They buried me in a cheap pine box. face up, so my friends and family wouldn’t miss my resting face.
• With your gaze, pretend to have deep connections to people and things around you. To forget to blink and suddenly appear severe. Then fake-blink and break from your seriousness.
• Rolling on the floor laughing in the bathtub is the best feeling I’ve ever had scores of times and thousands of times.
• Give two lines. The audience reads them. Then you give one line. The audience reads them. How does it make a difference?
• Write about two survivors waiting to be rescued by a spaceship on a distant planet and all the legal battles they have to go through.
• If you told a secret four times it no longer belonged to you. By the same token, no one had better tell your secret.
• A man on a fire escape is funny the first time you see it, every time you see it after that is less and less funny.
• The bus comes just after the Police Station. And just as it should it is yellow. It is full of prisoners.
• Two guys walk into a bar, one orders a beer and the other orders a drink – neither tell the bartender what they want.
• Tell a story in first person plural. You and Gillian the Rodeo dancer, the Devil and Charles Manson at a well blow in a bar.
• The coldest eyes can be disguised in friendly faces, but when you know that tongue, you know the true feelings they hold.
• Got any ideas for funny story prompts you and your friends can work on? Post your ideas in the comments below!
• You leave the grocery store and step into your office. No, you didn’t fall asleep. You’re everybody’s boss and in the grocery store, everyone wants you to be their boss.
• Your last diary entry might have been a bit too horrifying. How can you explain that to your readers?
• You initiate your foible and employ your folly against him in tandem with your underhanded tactics to develop a trend as a result of the near relationship.
• He was short, with sharp aggressive features. His hair was grey with purple highlights that reminded him of his mom’s panties.  He wore greasy mechanic’s clothes. They had tape on the elbows and a hole on the knees. His smile was sharp and he wore faded blue jeans.
• The mother was worried the bunny was cold because when she went out this morning his fur was wet so she dried it with a hairdryer. Now the bunny has pneumonia and that is why he is ill.
• Write about what you know. Write about your life. Write about your imaginary world. Write about your friends. Write about advice to your younger self. Write about your life as a feral child. Write about the future. Write about your past. Write about what you ate for breakfast. Write about writing.
• You get the idea. Have fun creating your own short story writing prompts! Writing short stories is a fun and exciting way to stretch your writing skills and get into doing something other than writing long, lengthy fiction that goes on and on and on. In addition to enjoying the process of writing an entirely short story, you will also get a nice little epiphany and new ways of looking at things when you are finished with one of these short writing pieces. An entire short story that doesn’t go on forever sequence happens to be a wonderful writer’s confidence booster! Enjoy and have fun writing short stories.
• The Moon was in the Seventh house. Jupiter aligned with Mars. All looked good for a wonderful day. Until…
• Years later, in high school, you went to some sort of reunion. Everyone looked the same, but you were the only one who looked different. How.
• Tell your top 10 secrets about yourself. This is a different genre but this is where you get to really set up your protagonist or antagonist but you want us to fall in love with them so you tell us secrets.
• Make New York City’s Times Square the edge of the universe, and write about life crawling towards there.
• I have an Uncle from India, who learned to do magic and illusion from his Indian Guru uncle, only to develop his own special, original style of magic and illusion, and outdo his own teacher.  It is simpler than it sounds.
• People expect the unexpected so be perverse and make them think you’re going to argue a point only to contradict yourself, go off at a tangent or state the opposite.
• I would go to Las Vegas for a year’s supply of chocolate. A chocolate fountain. Chocolate cravings. Chocolate chills. Chocoholic. Chocolate heaven.
• Upon waking up, you look over at  the man lying in the bed beside you. You scream.  Scream loudly and violently. You never noticed it before, but he has three eyes and enhanced upper lip folds that are so pronounced he could freight train an elephant.
• Looking into a crystal ball, your future is unknown. Your glowing aura is astounding. It comes on slowly, but you can feel yourself transform.  This happens roughly 6 times a day, and lasts roughly 30 minutes.
• An addict steals. An out of work stripper makes men fall in love with her. A wife cannot reach her husband. A man tries to find the cure to lead poisoning. A mime gets the best of a tourist on the subwoofer ferry in Dunkirk France.
• We can program computers or how about we’re so simple to program it makes sense for us to just be the computer?
• The boy went to the kitchen and started making hot chocolate, when suddenly… he felt the eyes of the house staring at him. He had a malignant presence of felicity.
• Aku was born unaware of what he was…he was totally clueless to what awaited him in the near future. In fact, he was even clueless to what lurked in the present. Every day that followed brought the young man closer to his fate, his destiny. After all, the Earth Kingdom needed a king to rule over its citizens, and Aku was it.
• There was once a wise man who laughed when he was born, sneezed when he was taken from his mother, cursed when he was given his first name, drowned when he was baptized, and awoke alive when he was buried.
• First, save all your money for a long time and then buy a huge M&M dispenser that looks like a cash register. Put a big bowl of candy on it. Let the whole world know you have it. Every day collect a dollar in the bowl. On a day a month, you can buy your favorite candy and eat as much as you want.
• A great way to present these techniques is to invite students to write simple, funny, perfectly normal… stories. Work with as many students as possible. Give all students a different prompt. They are to respond by writing a 200 word story on their own computer or laptop.
• There once was a midget who dreamed of a comeback, but it never came. He ended up choking on his own stuffing.
• Wake up flailing like an octopus, screaming  like a hyena, and roll down the stairs like a bowl of jelly.
• You hate to see a grown person cry. This friend of mine had been upset for the longest time—not a tissue in earshot.
• So Johnny gets himself the smallest poodle he can find. He feeds him ferociously for ten years and makes him the tiniest, yet proudest and puffed up dog anyone has ever seen. Ten years later Johnny has a hurricane in his backyard and his little poodle blows away.
• What if you were in the mafia and no one knew about it but you. You’d tell everyone you’re a whistleblower and everyone believes you and you end up living happily ever after because the mafia takes pity on you.
• Write a book review. From the point of view of someone who has never really read books before, but knows how to balance a checkbook. Someone who had to split a number 73.09difully into three equal coupons. Just do it.
• Everything you’ve ever wanted, everything you’ve ever done in your entire life, is for the purpose of finding him. Her. It. The thing. You don’t know what you’re looking for. You want it very badly.
• There was too much singing in the land. The women began to scream for the men to camp out. One man, The Little Boy the singing wouldn’t.
• The funniest story to tell is almost always based on yourself or those we love. Based on Novelty, Surprise, and Incongruity. It means the unexpected and goes above and beyond expectation. By telling a far-fetched story, you make your listener almost believe what you’re saying is really true.
• I have a window in my house. It’s not very big. It’s not very special. It doesn’t have a sill, but it lets the outside in. Even when it’s in the rain, it lets the outside come in.
• If you were given no obvious books as a present, what literary and philosophical ideas would be present in your current go-to book for entertainment?
• Go back into this moment before it happened. And stop yourself from doing whatever you should not have done, but would have done. Now do that thing you should have done and perhaps didn’t and experience how things could have been.
• Then one person volunteers to stand behind the blindfolded person and lead them to the door, around the fireplace and down to the boot.
• Their house, a plantation / Country house, belonged to her family for so many, many years/decades / ages.
• Without warning, baby calves were eating fruits and vegetables out of your hand. You were high off of the fumes of baby cows inhaling all the legal highs of the western world there ever were.
• A humorous approach on a normal everyday day needs to schedule your weekly boring task. Life, as we know it is regulated and controlled by events that are equally as mundane, but seemingly boring. As a result it is key to know how to look at the world and find something goofy in the simplest of things, in order to create either humour or comedy. Work is definitely not exempted from this. Schedule Week is here to show you an exemplary method of taking a dull and boring subject to begin with, and revamping it by exaggerating it to the point where readers start laughing uproariously. Someone at work was incompetent and got the constructive feedback they needed.
• Imagine it’s the end of your life and reincarnation was shortly available. What would you say to God/the Devil when your case is made?
• But you didn’t see that third pedestrian in the crosswalk. You never look. You are angry that everyone thinks you are Russian gangster, when all that you have ever been is a college graduate, and that’s not so menacing, is it?
• There was an outrageous amount of crime happening. An exaggerated amount of crime. Non-believers doubted this. They made it fake news and covered it up as much as they could.
• There are exactly three toilets in this household, one in the upstairs bathroom on NW corner, one in the downstairs bathroom, left of the door, and the other in the garage.
• Next when you are in the shower, start to have this huge vision/experience. The kind that incorporates seeing, hearing, over-all body sensations all at once.
• Direct the response to a sudden twitch in your body that you are unaware of and which seems horribly unflattering to everyone except you.
• There’s a big difference between small town gossip and big city gossip. Big city gossip comes on softly. Small town gossip can wake you from a deep sleep.
• The List is a very simple story building method. You have a number of objects, animals, characters…etc and you put them in no particular order.
• It’s best to play it on the safe side when writing a humor story. Animals and children are funny. Spouses can be funny. Frustrated businessman can be funny. A kick in the pants is funny if it’s well placed. Police officers haven’t had many great roles in literature, but they could also make a great comedy.
• Drama. Iphigenia leaves Agamemnon to marry Achilles for fear of prophecy, then her father spots her.
• A man gets into a time machine to see his life as a toddler again, but he can’t get past the 1970s. Frustrated he jumps out of the time machine and whacks his head hard on the ground.  Now that he thinks about it, his life is pretty sad. He heads back into the time machine where he meets his toddler self.
• My grandmother told me to stop being so lazy. She told me to get off of that couch and stop spending my 20s on the internet. She told me that you can’t find happiness behind the glow of a computer screen. What? Since when? A 65-year-old-maiden telling us young people to get their faces out of their monitors… You have to love that.
• Four of the ten commandments will send you to heaven and four will send you down below. Aside from not murdering anyone, which ones are they?
• Time marched forward in its relentless infinite. Everyone it touched aged, died, and became someone’s memory to be cherished or hated, feared or longed for. Some of us fell out of time. What can we do?
• The frenemies. However close two people seem to be, one of them always secretly despises the other one.
• “Let me show you how to make the waffles that John makes. With him you have to get everything just right or else you’re in big trouble. So…”
• Sweet and innocent. So innocent you don’t understand that the old man is hitting on you and you are taking it.
• Snapdragon is a flower that should be used more often in stories especially when it refers to someone who is too fat.
• You’re walking along, casually, and you step on an electrical transformer, ending you in one lightning-explosion.
• This would mean some of the steps in these writing processes will have to be tweaked, changed and deleted to fit this type of writing form.
• There were two red headed boys walking in a park, and one did something that made his head turn bright red.
• You are a significant historical figure for no other reason than living in the same time as another significant historical figure. Anyone want peanuts?
• A secret code, a silly memory, an unexplained feeling of wanting to bolt, a suspicion is born. Claiming to be savvy, write a heartfelt account of this suspicion and all the silly little coincidences that surround it.
• Wrong. Whatever wound up in your lawn was synthetic. It’s tough keeping up with the neighbors. Tough on your lawn. Tough on the environment. A little sanity here please…
• A coliseum over a candy factory is converted into a cathedral over a bomb factory, forcing many humans to move while wolves eat puppies to get their greasy coliseum-candy fix.
• Have you ever noticed how no one ever takes the time to ask the simple questions? We could all improve ourselves greatly by just taking time to ask the simple questions.
• This is the opening sentence from one of the original Sherlock Holmes short-stories. You probably recognised it… Now, extend it.
• 3. Consider recompense techniques. Teenagers are accustomed to getting what they want, when they want it. They want the iPod? Tell them there are two conditions, a gift for mom and a gift for the little brother. They want $4 of allowance? $4 of  laundry and $4 of help cleaning.
• The boy kissed the frog, because she was enchanted… Because only the kisses of a prince would have been able to revive her and break the spell. What happened next was downright distasteful.
• People. Lots and lots of people, crammed tightly together, packed into a small house, with no windows…. and then they woke up. Tell it from the point of view of someone who has no idea what they’re doing.
• There once was a man who wanted to cross a river. The current was swift, the water deep. In a split second, he lost everything before he even had a chance to think to second what was happening.
• Never take candy from a stranger.  Especially if it is red and white striped and has a white fluffy tip.
• There are lights on the Christmas tree. Romantic interludes taking place. Aphrodite watched Aphrodite. The playful waves pull the hair in the wind. The stars glisten deep in the firmament. There is but one that twinkles.
• Use explosive words. Don’t worry about being controversial, or even realistic. Follow your heart and spin a good yarn.  What would happen if?
• It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a really huge and expensive diamond ring. The same held true for a young man in possession of five very large and very expensive rings…
• At the stroke of midnight, all of your vending machine change became painfully  brightly colorful pieces of paper currency.

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28 Funny Writing Prompts to Help You Start Your Next Piece

By: Author Paul Jenkins

Posted on September 7, 2022

Categories Writing , Inspiration

Do you ever get stuck when trying to start a writing project? It can be tough to get the ball rolling, but with these funny writing prompts, you’ll be able to jump-start your creativity. These prompts are designed to help you develop ideas for stories, articles, and other writing pieces. So whether you’re struggling to find inspiration or just want something fun to do, give these creative writing prompts a try!

Funny Writing Prompts to Help You break out of Your Shell

The point of these funny writing prompts is that they set up scenarios that can launch a comedy or humorous story. Let your imagination run riot with these funny story starters:

• A character wakes up one day to find that they’ve been turned into a giant chicken.
• A character tries to take over the world but is thwarted by a group of unlikely heroes at every turn.
• A love story between two people who can’t stand each other.
• A character wakes up one day to find that they are a cartoon character.
• A hapless individual tries repeatedly to solve a Rubik’s Cube but never succeeds.
• A group of friends goes on a Road Trip from Hell.
• The story of a musician who can’t seem to catch a break.
• A group of friends tries to start their own country, but things quickly go awry.
• A comedy about aliens who come to Earth and are shocked by how humans live their lives.
• The story of an average Joe who suddenly discovers he has superpowers.
• Two enemies are forced to work together to survive against a common foe.
• In a future where Smurfs have taken over the world, one human rebel tries to overthrow them and restore humans to power.
• Over one day, the world goes crazy, and all hell breaks loose.
• Write a story in which a character tries to return a product but discovers that the return policy has changed.
• Write a story in which two people try to one-up each other with increasingly ridiculous puns.
• Write a story in which two people have a conversation consisting entirely of movie quotes.
• Write a story about an office worker finding out that their co-workers are aliens.
• Write a story in which a character tries out for a reality TV show but discovers that the producers have ulterior motives.
• Write a story in which a person wakes up to find that they’ve been turned into their favorite animal.
• Write a story in which everything someone says is interpreted literally by the people around them.
• Write a story in which a coffee shop barista gets revenge on a rude customer by wreaking havoc on their life.
• Write a story in which four office workers find out their cubicles are portals to parallel universes.
• Write a short story from the perspective of a gumball machine
• Write a parody of your favorite children’s book
• Have an argument between two people who are trying to sell each other the same item
• Create a world where energy drinks are currency
• Have an ongoing conversation between two people who are stuck in time loops
• Brainstorm a list of possible consequences that could occur if animals could talk

Breaking Down Humor: What Makes Something Funny?

What exactly is it that makes something funny? Is it the way the words sound coming out of someone’s mouth? The facial expressions they make? The timing of the joke? All of the above?

The psychology of humor is a fascinating topic and one that has been studied extensively. There are many different theories about what makes something funny, but one of the most widely accepted is the incongruity theory. This theory posits that we find something funny when it violates our expectations somehow.

For example, let’s say you’re at a party and see someone slip on a banana peel. Seeing someone violate that expectation will be funny if you expect people to walk around at parties without slipping on banana peels. On the other hand, if you expect people to slip on banana peels at parties (perhaps because you’ve been to a lot of parties where that’s happened), then it’s not going to be funny.

It’s also worth noting that not all expectation violations are equally funny. The more surprising or unexpected the violation, the more likely we find it amusing. So, in the example above, if the person who slipped on the banana peel was wearing shoes with really good traction, that would probably be funnier than if they were barefoot.

Another important factor is whether or not we think the person who violated the expectation did so on purpose. If we think they did it intentionally (for example, they slipped on the banana peel as part of a prank), that’s usually going to be funnier than if we think it was an accident.

Of course, other factors can affect whether or not we find something funny, like our personal experiences or beliefs. But in general, violations of expectations are a good place to start when trying to figure out what makes something funny.

Another important element of humor is audience engagement. It will not be funny if a comedian tells a joke and no one laughs. Knowing your audience and what they find humorous is a big part of making people laugh.

Timing is everything when it comes to comedy. A jokester who can deliver a punchline at the right moment can often get a laugh out of even the grimmest of audiences. The same is true for your writing!

Getting an Inside Joke to Work

An inside joke is a shared joke between friends or family members that usually arises from a shared experience. The humor comes from the fact that only those there can understand why it’s funny. To someone outside, an inside joke may seem nonsensical or even mean-spirited. But to those in on the joke, it’s hilarious.

Inside jokes often come spontaneously, but they can also be created deliberately. For example, you might create an inside joke with your co-workers to help make your job more fun. Or you might have ongoing inside jokes with your friends or family that only get funnier over time.

There are a few things that make an inside joke work. First, there has to be a shared experience or frame of reference between the people involved. Second, everyone involved must be in on the joke. And third, there has to be some element of surprise or unexpectedness to the humor.

How to Use Social Media Discoveries to Inspire Humor in Your Writing

Social media is teeming with content begging to be made fun of. From absurd memes to nonsensical trends, there’s no shortage of material for comedy writers looking for inspiration.

Where to Look for Inspiration

The sky’s the limit when it comes to finding inspiration on social media. However, a few places, in particular, tend to be breeding grounds for hilarious content. We recommend checking out the following:

• Meme pages : Memes are the perfect fodder for comedy writers looking for laughs. If you’re unsure where to find them, a quick search on Facebook or Instagram will yield tons of results. Once you’ve found a few meme pages you like, check back regularly for new content.
• Trending topics : Keeping tabs on what’s trending on social media is a great way to find inspiration for your writing. Whether it’s a funny take on current events or a clever commentary on pop culture, there’s always something to write about when you know what people are talking about.
• Celebrity accounts : There’s nothing quite like following a celebrity on social media to get your daily dose of absurdity. From Kim Kardashian’s over-the-top posts to Kanye West’s sporadic Twitter rants, celebrities always offer plenty of material for those looking to poke fun.

How to Use What You Find

Once you’ve found some potential sources of inspiration, it’s time to start using them. But how, exactly? Here are a few ideas:

• Write a parody : Take a popular meme or social media trend and put your spin on it. Not only is this a great way to get some laughs, but it can also help you sharpen your satire skills.
• Create characters based on what you see : If you encounter an especially ridiculous post or piece of information online, use it as the basis for a new character in your writing. Chances are, your readers will get as much of a kick out of them as you did when you created them.
• Do a “social media experiment” : Use social media as the starting point for a short story or larger work of fiction. For example, what would happen if two people with completely different worldviews got into an argument online? Could they ever see eye-to-eye? Or would the gulf between them be too wide to bridge? Let your imagination run wild and see where your story takes you.

The Art of Writing a Funny Scene

If you’re a writer, chances are you’ve been there before. You’re in the middle of writing a scene, and suddenly, the characters aren’t acting as you want them to. The scene falls flat, and you can feel your reader’s attention begin to wander.

Don’t worry – it happens to the best of us. The good news is that there are ways to get your characters back on track and ensure that your scene is as funny as possible.

Know Your Characters

One of the most important things to remember when writing a funny scene is to know your characters inside and out. What makes them tick? What are their defining characteristics? What would they do in any given situation? Answering these questions will help you write a scene that is true to your characters and their personalities.

Make Use of Dialogue

Dialogue is essential in any good story, but they’re especially important in a funny scene. Why? Because dialogues allow you to show what’s happening between your characters, not tell. They also allow your readers to “hear” the characters’ voices in their heads, making the scene more relatable (and therefore funnier).

Use Sarcasm Wisely

Sarcasm is often employed in funny scenes because it allows characters to say one thing while meaning another – usually the opposite. However, sarcasm can be a tricky thing to use well. If not done correctly, it can come across as mean-spirited or confusing. If you use sarcasm in your scene, make sure it’s clear that the character is being sarcastic. Otherwise, you risk losing your reader’s attention (and their sense of humor).

Timing is Everything

Timing is crucial in comedy in real life and on the page. A well-timed delivery can make even the simplest joke hilarious. When writing a funny scene, pay attention to your jokes’ timing and ensure they hit at just the right moment. Otherwise, you risk falling into the trap of “too soon” or “too late.”

Remember – Not Everyone Finds the Same Things Funny

Last, it’s important to remember that not everyone finds the same things funny. What makes you laugh might not make someone else laugh – and that’s okay! The trick is to find what makes your particular audience laugh and run with it. After all, if they’re laughing, then you’re doing something right.

How to Make the Most of a Fun Writing Prompt

Writing can be a lot of fun – but it can also be pretty daunting, especially when staring at a blank page. That’s where writing prompts come in! A writing prompt is a great way to jumpstart your creativity and get your mental gears turning. But how do you make the most of a writing prompt? Read on to find out!

• Take a few minutes to just think about the prompt – what does it make you think of? What sort of story or scene does it suggest to you? Jot down a few ideas, even if they’re just vague images or snippets of dialogue. This is a great way to start without feeling like you have to commit to anything.
• Once you’ve got a few ideas, start fleshing them into a more concrete story . What happens next? Who are the characters in this scene? What do they want? Why are they there? The more specific you can get, the better – but don’t worry if everything isn’t clear just yet. You can always go back and revise later.
• Now that you’ve got the basics of your story down, it’s time to start writing! Write as much or as little as you want – there’s no right or wrong answer here. Let the story take you where it wants to go, and see where it takes you. You may be surprised at what you come up with!
• Once you’re done, take a step back and read over what you’ve written . Is there anything you want to change or add? Anything that doesn’t quite make sense? Now’s your chance to fix those things up before moving on.
• And that’s it! You’ve now written something inspired by a prompt and had a blast doing it too. Who knows – maybe this is the start of something big! Either way, pat yourself on the back – you did it!

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Why we love creative writing prompts

If you've ever sat in front of a computer or notebook and felt the urge to start creating worlds, characters, and storylines — all the while finding yourself unable to do so — then you've met the author's age-old foe: writer's block. There's nothing more frustrating than finding the time but not the words to be creative. Enter our directory! If you're ready to kick writer's block to the curb and finally get started on your short story or novel, these unique story ideas might just be your ticket.

This list of 1800+ creative writing prompts has been created by the Reedsy team to help you develop a rock-solid writing routine. As all aspiring authors know, this is the #1 challenge — and solution! — for reaching your literary goals. Feel free to filter through different genres, which include...

Dramatic — If you want to make people laugh and cry within the same story, this might be your genre.

Funny — Whether satire or slapstick, this is an opportunity to write with your funny bone.

Romance — One of the most popular commercial genres out there. Check out these story ideas out if you love writing about love.

Fantasy — The beauty of this genre is that the possibilities are as endless as your imagination.

Dystopian – Explore the shadowy side of human nature and contemporary technology in dark speculative fiction.

Mystery — From whodunnits to cozy mysteries, it's time to bring out your inner detective.

Thriller and Suspense — There's nothing like a page-turner that elicits a gasp of surprise at the end.

High School — Encourage teens to let their imaginations run free.

Want to submit your own story ideas to help inspire fellow writers? Send them to us here.

After you find the perfect story idea

Finding inspiration is just one piece of the puzzle. Next, you need to refine your craft skills — and then display them to the world. We've worked hard to create resources that help you do just that! Check them out:

• How to Write a Short Story That Gets Published — a free, ten-day course by Laura Mae Isaacman, a full-time editor who runs a book editing company in Brooklyn.
• Best Literary Magazines of 2023 — a directory of 100+ reputable magazines that accept unsolicited submissions.
• Writing Contests in 2023 — the finest contests of 2021 for fiction and non-fiction authors of short stories, poetry, essays, and more.

Beyond creative writing prompts: how to build a writing routine

While writing prompts are a great tactic to spark your creative sessions, a writer generally needs a couple more tools in their toolbelt when it comes to developing a rock-solid writing routine . To that end, here are a few more additional tips for incorporating your craft into your everyday life.

• NNWT. Or, as book coach Kevin Johns calls it , “Non-Negotiable Writing Time.” This time should be scheduled into your routine, whether that’s once a day or once a week. Treat it as a serious commitment, and don’t schedule anything else during your NNWT unless it’s absolutely necessary.
• Set word count goals. And make them realistic! Don’t start out with lofty goals you’re unlikely to achieve. Give some thought to how many words you think you can write a week, and start there. If you find you’re hitting your weekly or daily goals easily, keep upping the stakes as your craft time becomes more ingrained in your routine.
• Talk to friends and family about the project you’re working on. Doing so means that those close to you are likely to check in about the status of your piece — which in turn keeps you more accountable.

Arm yourself against writer’s block. Writer’s block will inevitably come, no matter how much story ideas initially inspire you. So it’s best to be prepared with tips and tricks you can use to keep yourself on track before the block hits. You can find 20 solid tips here — including how to establish a relationship with your inner critic and apps that can help you defeat procrastination or lack of motivation.

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Explore more writing prompt ideas:

Adults Writing Prompts ⭢

Adventure Writing Prompts ⭢

Angst Writing Prompts ⭢

Character Writing Prompts ⭢

Christmas Writing Prompts ⭢

Dark Writing Prompts ⭢

Dialogue Writing Prompts ⭢

Dramatic Writing Prompts ⭢

Dystopian Writing Prompts ⭢

Fall Writing Prompts ⭢

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Fiction Writing Prompts ⭢

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Funny Writing Prompts ⭢

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High School Writing Prompts ⭢

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Kids Writing Prompts ⭢

Middle School Writing Prompts ⭢

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Summer Writing Prompts ⭢

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200 Hilarious Writing Prompts to Jump Start Your Next Comedy Project.

Do you freeze up when someone asks you to come up with funny things? Are you out of ideas when it comes to writing a comedy skit , stand-up routine, funny blog post, or short story? If so, then keep reading because we’ve got just the thing for you.

In this article, you will learn about 200 hilarious writing prompts that are perfect for jump-starting your next comedy project. With these writing prompts in hand, you will be able to get your creative juices flowing so that the ideas keep coming. Use them as is or adjust them to fit your needs. Either way, they’ll give you something to start with so that your next comedy creation is not just another blank page.

“Do you remember when we used to sit up all night and talk and talk and talk about the coolest things? What happened, man? Why aren’t we still talking?”

“I want to believe.” was not the catchphrase of some obscure nerd, but rather my new way of saying “I need to become an astronaut.”

A bear, a car, a tire, a wheel and a turkey walk into a bar. Sounds a lot like the start of a joke. But it’s no joke when the turkey comes in shooting. And the only joke you get out of it is the one on your tombstone.

A centipede and a butterfly sit outside on a hot summer day playing cards. After a few hands the centipede puts down his cards and says….

A computer woke up in a new millennium, asked itself “where am I?” and answered “Negative Space.” God was not there.

A few of these prompts are more for free writing exercises than for actual stories, but either way they both have potential to inspire your creativity. If you have TONS of ideas flowing about your prompt, zip up your overalls and start writing! If you’re still looking for some fresh inspiration, don’t worry. You’ll be able to get a lot out of these so keep reading!

A Greek chorus of a dozen people stand behind you one by one and speak 2 lines. It is irrelevant as to what they say. It is merely the sound of their voices.

A journal between two friends, one who lost his wife in a car accident and one who has just admitted a one night stand after she told him she is starting to see someone else.

A lifeboat washed up with two skeletons in it. The First Skeleton popped out and grabbed his own pelvis. The First Skeleton’s pelvis didn’t belong to him. The Second Skeleton lunged out and said, “MY pelvis! Now!!” Your house was haunted by a ghost. You almost slept with a serial killer.

A man and a woman want to get married but a mutual need is preventing them from tying the knot for a closer life together.

A man went into a shop, asked for “six back scratchers.” Mentioned ticks. “Been bitten by a dog recently?” he asked. So he asked for a “pea shooter” to “blow all those ticks away.” He said this at an old-fashioned general store. They sold everything from guns and paints to “tack and feed.” “Geesh,” says Bob. “This puppy will blow every one of those ticks right out of their blood.” Lermontov Palmerrell was able to shoot all the ticks away with a pea shooter.

A New York caveman was trying to spelunk, but could not climb up because he had a belly. So he yelped as loud as he could…then a few minutes later, his buddy dropped him a ladder. That’s not real real, but so real it’s real.

A one-armed man is shooting dice with God. God always wins. The one-armed man does not understand why.

A pleasant stroll, or maybe a marathon run is what you usually experienced on your bike tour around your neighborhood and imagined on your couch in front of the TV.

A priest, a rabbi, and a blonde woman with green eyes are about to be executed and they’re out on the garden swing together one last time.

A running joke can be funny or strange and crucial– and, ultimately, mess with your readers’ minds. A running joke also makes your novel stand out in a memorable way. Could Eva repel the biker girls? Could she use lemons to do so? Maybe she could transform into a laser beam and shoot lemon beams at them!

A ship was floating in the water far below the mountains with hope in the captain’s eyes. Here it comes. One second. One…

A Silver Scoter is the most annoying bird in the world because even when it is dead people will throw it into a lake.

A story about a triangular obelisk made of mud-braken and mortar replaced with a different one, solely based on observation.

A subtle discussion of the differences between the dreaming of a historian and the degree to which a character in the fiction believes himself to be real.

A very hot summer day, as you laid your head on her lap, she told you a long, sad story which you never forgot. She was buried in a seaside grave, with her action figures never to be played with again.

A writer, reeling in self-pity over his lack of recognition, searches the nearby woods for some sign of recognition or even a single sapling with his name on it.

After nearly destroying his village, the Lazy Prince makes sure not to repeat the same mistakes again.

After reading these, breathe out or exhale. Still holding your finger against the key, remove your finger and look through them! Breathe out and then do this 2 more times. See what happens.

Ages and ages ago, in a galaxy far away, so long ago we didn’t even know when, back when King Arthur ruled Camelot there was a cobbler…

All of the writing prompts are effective because you have to get right to the point and remove any fluff from the description so you can tell a story in a creative and interesting way.

An astronaut landed and grew tomato plants. If he sees another astronaut do the same, what would he think?

An important lesson for all authors who wish to create scenes of tension – make your characters talk about the farthest thing from the trouble at hand.

An original fairytale about a handsome prince, damsel in distress and a white horse where the prince is the knight with a thousand faces.

And that was that. Abraham Lincoln had saved the country once again, thus realizing his mother’s dream of him becoming President.

And the following prompts are about more common submissions, and my feeling is that they did not deserve an accept, however funny stories.

Arthur was a child of fantasy and truth. Not often could he tell the difference, thus his name, which seemed fitting.

As Gary Larson did for comics, compose a hyper-stylized, exaggerated prose that mimics the surface qualities of a very different kind of writing.

As he drifted off, he pinched his wife’s leg until she hit him on the belly. “Hey!” she said. “That’s not a good idea.” He said, “I was swimming and my head fell off.”

At the murder trial, the prosecutor said that the victim had 30 stab wounds but bite marks showed that 42 teeth to be involved. The murderer confessed, but said that it was a “joint effort”.

But not everything can come from a strange world. Some ideas could also come as a part of a mundane world. Perhaps the bad guy from your story didn’t arrive by meteor, but crawled down the storm drain in your backyard.

Checklist, checklist. What’s something you need to make sure you don’t forget to do on a first date?

Choose people that you think are particularly familiar with someone who is close to you otherwise maybe a little bizarre.

Cold and brittle bark, the delicate touch and the delicate scent. Her hands and lips were mine. Hers and she would not be comforted.

Colonel Sanders bobbed up and down on a pogo stick. Do you think he shouted Colonel Sanders while he did this? Or was he just Colonel Sanders?

Declare pestilence on the previously killer garden gnomes that are now holding your neighbor’s son hostage under your stair step.

Deconstructing the pro wrestling persona – make the wrestler into a non-wrestler and tell why that character became a non-wrestler.

Desperately searching for what idiot lost your pet bunny. The little tyke was wearing an army helmet too. What was he training for?

Destiny doesn’t get out of bed for anything less than two million in cash. Or a really good bacon wrapped filet.

Dogs eat homework. It’s what they do. Period. End of sentence. The end. The era of the Thompson family.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my RSS or YouTube channel or newsletter above for updates on when more funny prompts come out.

During the Time of Gray, no one dared voice their true thoughts in public or in private. It took courage to gain new knowledge.

Einstein never wore greetings. Mohandas Gandhi never wore pants. Amelia Earhart never wore underwear.

Enjoy these and enjoy writing short stories! They are a great way to provide creative writing practice.

Ever walked on the sand and couldn’t find the water? Ever walked on water and not been able to find the sand?

Every action hero story needs a protagonist who needs help getting their suit on. What’s your story?

Every so often, Mr. Grant comes into the break room and does an impression of Clifford Pearson’s grandmother who answers the phone at her nursing home that badly, and you notice that Meeka is terribly upset.

Every time the narrator reached the turning point in a tragic story, cash prizes were shot out of a cannon.

Everyone can be silent and noisy at the same time. You just need to have earbuds that are plugged into your ears…

Everyone else is a redbird and you’re a robin. What happened, how can they all be redbirds and you be a robin?

Everyone from the outside expected you to have your life together. You weren’t to be concerned with anything. Little did they know, you were worried sick about one of the most bizarre things anyone could identify with.

Everyone thought you were Egyptian. But it turned out you were just a little black boy whose father was a dentist for the Egyptian royal family.

Exactly how it sounds—nonsense punctuation. Bold and italic letters if you prefer, use as many words as you wish, be as silly as you want… just make it nonsense.

Figure out a way to be the anarchist you wanted than shouted at by the powers that wanted to redefine the relationship between you and your government without dealing with any government involvement.

Fiona Smythe, a four year old lives whenever her father isn’t around. Once he’s blessedly gone, she transforms into her evil knock-off of Barbie. One afternoon, her father is just about to head out to a business meeting, so he asks her to give him a kiss for luck. The request, of course, makes Fiona sick. Instead, she tells him that Holiday Barbie will kiss him on the cheek instead of “dry rubbing her lips”. Disgusted, the father leaves. The audience expects this story to go down a typical road. But no, when Dad returns home a few hours later thinking he’d made a major business deal, the father is met with a post-it note which says, “I need a bigger attic”. It turns out that, for her “treat”, Fiona took a pretty BB gun and did some barrel racing with a broom handle. Thus, the note.

For a list of funny story prompts from a simplified list and fun exercises, just go to this page . The list is fairly comprehensive but they will prove very useful in terms of idea generation. You can also simply check out my Book, “From blank page to funny page.” and start writing today!

For the first time, the award for the worst fiction is awarded to Chuck Wiener. This is not a story about a man named Chuck Wiener, but rather is the story entitled, “Chuck Wiener’s Hair Journey.” “Chuck Wiener’s Hair Journey” will be printed on paper, and will surely be a literary success.

For the next 25 days, post a comment of interest that relates to one of your writing goals, trading spaces for other wants or wishes . Make it fact-based, funny or fiction. Maybe even all three.

Freeze time for 2 minutes. When the timer goes off, you’ll be one month older. What does the future hold for you?

Frodo realised as he walked down the final stretch of the yellow-brick road that it might not have been quite as easy as all that being the last ring bringer.

Give me this day my daily bread. Other stories stem from the imagination to list ideas. These exercises are fun, excitement and great ideas to use as a springboard for stories. It is all about stopping the gravity of your day. Making your creative mind float up into the clouds with no limitations. To create stories to amuse yourself and anyone who reads them. To write about whatever you like. To write about the people who really interest you. Nothing makes an awkwardly normal person observe and invent rather than someone who is a headliner. Invent your own direction of your story and drive a pit of obstacles. Keep your issues in mind but allow yourself to Spin the idea on its end and make it humorous and crazy fun. Just talking about writing stories can lead to a great idea or even a character for a story!!

Give your character an impossible list of tasks, ridiculous prerequisites, and insane hoops and twirls to jump through. Poetically portray humiliation, the extreme senses of frustration and despair, and/or autism.

Go inside your car and write. Give all the details – make it like no one else could have experienced this exact thing.

God gave you the job of calling all the shots. What happened to make you forget what He had put you on this Earth for?

Hansel and Gretel were lost, children’s bones were forgotten next to the four day old ash of the campfire.

Have a main character that works at a really bad job/preparing clear margaritas at the corner store for a buck.

Have the character use a ridiculously large amount of made-up jargon to describe a situation or event, single-handedly destroying the target’s self-esteem and worldview.

Have you ever noticed that after a person has died, everything in the house goes to the kids? Except for the dirty underwear in the underwear drawer.

Have your main character wake up to themselves having done something absolutely and totally different from your previous work.

He ran into the mead with a paper in hand. He was an author, not just a writer, but a famous…oh, never mind.

He wore a brown fedora and a black trenchcoat. He gave me a wide goofy grin as he drew a gun from his pocket.

Honest Abe’s Honest Axe repair shop is across from Honest Abe’s Honest Auto Salvage. It’s across from Honest Abe’s Honest Sporting Goods in a section of the city where there is little honest business. None of us are getting any younger.

Hope you’ve enjoyed these funny story prompts. If you want some more, let me know and I’ll post more funny story prompts!

How many Jifs does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three! One to unscrew the world, one to screw the future, and one to screw the future back on. Or you could just add all your Jifs together…

I knew they were trouble when they walked in. A girl covered in tattoos, and a guy who resembled Johnny Depp.

I saw a cockroach skittering up your arm to your shoulder. Don’t be scared. I’ll grab it and put it outside.

I spent all night cleaning up blood from the lobby. It was hard to get out of the cracks of the floor.

I tried bondage, but you don’t get quite the same screams from younger women after removing their clothes.

I was born a beautiful baby. A beautiful baby in the ugly hospital in the ugly dying town on the dying planet.

If lightning bugs had leaders, they would all decamp to my front yard to live and play vigorously in my dark corners.

If you build a boat, will it hold up? If you build a raft, will it be water-tight? Are you looking out for me? Breathe. In depth. Exhale.

If you could go back in time and witness the birth of anything or anyone, what would it be? What would the circumstance be, what year would it be back to? Where would you be, …?

If you find a way to fulfill your wish or dream would you stop wishing or dreaming? Or would you make the most of it?

If you use somebody’s accent to the point where they can’t speak at all, and then they decide to just leave before killing you, is it okay to say Black tax, as long as you pay it, but don’t actually take a mason jar down from anywhere and hold it out for them to put a quarter in?

Imagine you’re at a job interview for a completely absurd job. What job explains everything that’s happened to you?

Imagine your laundry folder is a person. Cool, yet annoying. So you dump them out in a single heap and they jumble around like an angry drunk.

In a world where noses were big business, two men vied for dominance. One noseless and the other flawed…

In the firelight preparing dinner over a barbecue the beloved grandfather of the family takes a young girl’s hand in his own and says,

Interrogate your lawn mower. Praise him for launching the first successful lawn mower satellite at the feverish apex of his mechanical orgasm.

It has been said that the element of surprise is very important in horror novels. Surprise works extremely well and is oftentimes one of the most powerful tools in horror writing. The element of surprise will help pack a more powerful emotional punch.

It seems only yesterday we had a family of wolves, a family of mice, a family of mice that lived in a wolf, a bulldog and a cat that lived in a bank.

It’s a curse to be beautiful in this life… or was it an enviable blessing it brought wealth and fame…

It’s a tale with no meaning and no point– yet one that must be told elicits the most sympathetic response.

It’s not the same when you explain it to us, so explain it to the whores on the corner outside, the corner of forgotten children.

Junk was gold in California. People would pay top prices just to have back whenever they thought the world was about to end.

Just after his mother had died, he saw the apparition next to him with her arms outreached. Good thing it was seen through the webcam of his computer.

Later, the same boy pushed a goat down the school’s staircases. It’s safe to say he was suspended from the school for a solid week.

Let go of every single bit of sanity you ever had and go completely insane. Hold on to hope and don’t let go of it.

Look both ways before you cross. No one cares about the people or the dog that crosses against the light. If you want to stay alive, you need to know where they are.

Madness victims are happier than the sane, who just want to get fourteen hours of sleep in one night, without the disruption of yet another “loud noise scare”.

Make something funny out of reality. Maybe you want to make a laughing stock of yourself, or you might just want to share the humdingers of reality.

Make the reader think the story is going to follow a straight line, when, in fact, you’re going to take it on a sharp left turn.

Make the thread exactly the right size to fit through the hole, and then turn it one thousand times to the right as you enter the hole… from which things currently come out.

Mom and Dad always loved you best. You were the one they called on to make decisions and rescue them from challenging and inconvenient situations. Be careful…they may be the reason you’re in prison and can’t call your own family.

More great prompts for funny stories include awkward moments, suspicious adjectives, painful events, and first meeting. Once you’ve completed a funny story, share them with friends or family.

Most people are like Slinky. With every step they take, they lose a little bit of their sturdiness and gain a little bit more tually.

My co-worker saved the company from almost certain failure only to have his efforts called into question.

Nanai is a three-toed sloth who mainly feasts on prickly pear cactus to supplement his protein. He has been waiting for fair share solar panels from the energy company so he can stop eating cactus and start spinning his fiber, like many of the young sloths in his community do.

Never say die. Blasphemy? Ten years in prison. No trials, no innocent before proven guilty. Just burn ’em! Burn ’em!

No one ever suspected the minister was actually a serial killer. But the numbers just didn’t add up….

No one ever went into the old meat processing plant since it closed twenty years ago. But one day someone noticed and followed the little trail of steam coming from the roof. When they got to it they were shocked. The smell of meat and fresh blood made them gag. What they saw was hard to believe at first. What they saw made them vomit. You see, the factory was now run by mad scientist cooks. They use meat that people use to buy. It doesn’t come from there. What they cook is so good people can’t resist the smell. Their main item is called Fainiburger. It is so good it is supposed to change from a gas to a solid. Fainiburger is rolled out into a tent where people buy it to go. People were buying all the meat they could get their hands on. It’s a family operated business that parents love to cater businesses with for birthdays, weddings, you name it. It’s just so popular people can’t get enough.

No one was sure if his mother was pushing the boundaries of time, space, and his mouth just to hear him scream.

One of these days is sadly about to be your last. Unless you can think up a quick and clever ending.

One, two, Freddy’s coming for you. — Slight variation on the above creepypasta prompt, “Five Tries Not to Wake up”

Only humans could take over natural resources for ourselves leaving behind a mess for another species.

Orhan Pamuk, a Turkish writer known for The Black Book, grew up in Kaffeebecher, an Arab neighborhood in Istanbul, where he sold lemonade called “Bean and Istanbul.”

Pirates like to focus on the one thing most people would find most morally intriguing–avast, this is the captured story.

Professor Dudley says, “No pain-no gain.” Considering this new-old adage, a sailor on a paddleboard

See what happens when a couple is forced to leave their home by circumstance and the rules and regulations surrounding urban civilizations. The husband eventually ends up building his own home minus a few materials.

Several times during the Second World War Churchill was briefed on recent advances in weapons technology. He’d listen to the reports, only for his eyes to widen, mouth open and jaw drop. Slightly open-mouthed, patting the person on hand, he’d steer them to the door before stepping back into his office. Later, someone would walk in and add in some milk.

She always fell in love with people she shouldn’t and dated guys that were completely wrong for her. And yet, they all had one thing in common. She left you for them.

She ran around with scissors in her hair so they were never able to recognize the color of her hair.

She was the sweetest girl in the whole wide world, but not a day went by without a peacock trying to ride my bike.

So in Havana, this old man yells out, “You so stupid, you had all those Castro’s beat, what’s you firstname?”

Somebody worked really hard drawing something on your face or body. Emphasize how impressed you are that they drew a dinosaur on you, or a plane, or a flower, or a penis, or a pot leaf. It has to have love in the work, of course, and detail. You’ll realize this as the story builds.

Something old… Something new… Something borrowed… Something gray… The time he slipped on a banana skin and broke his leg. The dress she wore on her first date with him. They taught the millionaire to sing his last will and testament.

Sometime in the future, a human might fall in love with a robot and other pieces of monumental fiction.

Start worse and make it progressively worse until it’s extremely out of whack and you suddenly get a happy ending. Springtime for Hitler.

Story about movies or books that sound cool when you’re framing the scene but are terrible when you get down to it.

Tell a story of something that happened when you were a kid. Something you’ve left out of other stories you’ve told.

Tell it all. Do not be sensitive. Trust the reader to catch only the essentials of your story while filling in the gaps. Embrace the fact that there is so much more to understand and experience than you will ever write.

Tell the entire story from the main character’s weakest character flaw if your character is not heroic/has no flaws.

That expression on your face, bemused and awry, one side of your mouth curling up in a mocking half-smile. The blind rage upon seeing my drawings, my close-guarded secrets, the pieces of my heart laid bare, stained in carbon soot.

That hidden side of yourself that usually doesn’t get displayed in everyday company has to be hidden no more because the surprise party your spouse has planned for you is sneaking up on you and it’s going to be occupying every corner of your house, so, get in harmony with yourself…cause it is all out now.

That night the stars didn’t shine because the moon is full every month. And when it’s not it’s a new moon.

The Bakers left the galley messy, so Gavin and his boys decided to contribute to the clean up effort. Consequently, all their masterpieces were saved.

The elevator could only fit one person, so they tossed a coin to see who would go up and bring down the angel.

The greatest mystery of all time hangs in the balance, and your friend and you are the only ones capable of solving it, but they, as they say, are M.I.A.

The Iceman Prank. Buy an 1/8 of weed then go to the freezer. Make all your friends think the weed is just covered in ice. Wake them up, and the Iceman will have come and gone.

The kick is a novelist, struggling to cope with a bad writing day. Unfortunately, she has no idea how to solve this problem. Her Muse has abandoned her, and every word she types expends more agony on her and less on the keyboard. There is no spell for this. There are no charms or potions that will bring the Muse back to her. So, she gets creative.

The kid knocked it 400 yards and because it landed on the road, and not in the field, it wasn’t a home run.

The longer you looked at your face, the longer you were convinced a monkey could do a better job, but he was an idiot.

The man in the big yellow hat wanted to open the biggest lemonade stand ever. So he went out to find the lemons, only to find out that there is no more lemonade. Oopsie!

The man on the train who stared at your arm tattoos for five minutes, despite being surrounded by countless empty seats.

The Most Interesting Man in the World explains why all flags are bad and go 170 kilometers per hour in 45 seconds.

The narrator doesn’t die immediately. Instead, he lives long enough to recount the accident to anyone willing to listen.

The new girl doesn’t have a name. Her real name is impossible to pronounce and occasionally she forgets what it is.

The next time you tell someone to get over it they’ll die. With no one there to bring them back to life.

The Old west meets high-tech study chambers. A Wild West error leads to a bug in the Matrix. Documented incident of spontaneity. Blue heron falls from the sky.

The quirks and oddities of the world are what make it amazing. Don’t be afraid to explore the strange!

The Sheriff and his deputy were riding horses in a park earlier, but then, one horse just started taking off on it’s own. Naturally, the two men wouldn’t let a horse just take them anywhere. The deputy did the only thing he could’ve done, and shot the horse for ‘becoming agitated’.

The story focuses around the things that happened when, with what, who was what, who did what. Sometimes impossibly forced, sometimes just weird, and other times just slightly funny. The point is to be funny. Sometimes done by picking 20-50 completely random subjects, then picking out ones that are funny for whatever reason.

The struggling artist doodled in the margins of the page, oblivious that the words she wrote were changing her world…

The terraforming is a certainty the simulations proved it. Nothing could go wrong, we planned for every eventuality. You can’t hide in spilled milk.

The White Witch is having an important guest over, a scruffy-looking nerdy guy who carries luggage larger than his own body while the creepy yet overdressed butler, dressed in purely white, escorts him to his room. As he disappears down the hall, the White Witch’s daughter walks in to ask her mother innocently where the new guest is staying, wondering if she can play with him. The mother is a bit offended by how this scruffy nerdy guy came to be a guest, and she asks her daughter “Why in the world would he be staying here?”

The wife-in-laws’ husband wife-in-law is a husband wife-in-law was a constant reminder of her own true age.

The woman three houses down has been staying up until three in the morning knitting mittens for kittens.

The woman’s shoulder blades brushed against one another whenever she stretched her arms above her head

There are only five minutes until you have to give the speech and you just realized you can’t speak. Inspiration never strikes at a good time.

There are times when you write for the world to see, and then there are times when you write to see if the words will fit.

There came a time when the world was out of handclaps. In order to resolve this grotesque situation, a boy was conscripted. A boy who had been struck on the head by the iron lever in a closed door accident, and was now incomplete in the lateral portion of his left hemisphere.

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had a whack of almonds, and a lady from Racine, who couldn’t disarm him.

There once was a woman who was so attractive, four men were fighting to their deaths for the right to marry her, but the question was…. Which one would she choose?

There was a family that moved into the neighborhood. Jose, Janet, and Tom. There children Mark, Maria, and Timothy. They were the nicest people you would want to meet. At least at first. One day Mark and Timothy went missing. People looked everywhere for those two boys, but they just couldn’t be found. Then suddenly the rest of the family went missing just two days later. Except the father and mother who were the last to disappear. When people looked around the beautiful house they found more of those flowers and dead bodies all around the backyard AND a port-a-potty. They looked in the bath tubs and the kitchen drawers. The bodies were hidden for a long time until someone they could take care of themselves, or they were just plain stupid. All had the same golden gates and angel wings. Everyone was certain of the fact that the family was a group of satan worshippers.

There was a man they sent to a giant rocket! But something was wrong with the world. Something was definitely wrong.

There was no way, no way someone who eats family pets would possibly have eaten my lost hamster. Right?

TheRedheadand The Spacewoman Are Having a Good Time On The Planet of Orange at the North Pole. Prance Around and Find a Big Piece of Rock To Float To Other Planets.

They must have thought they couldn’t make it through. They split their integral selves between a state and the staid. The steady flux is a thing of delight to them, just as the balance between their vibrant impulsions and the détente is. Contact further cemented their romance, but effect dissipated into sparse numbers. They plummeted, plateaued, and now slowly strut gingerly amongst the pincushion and porcupines. Now that they know themselves incapable of tearing themselves apart, they no longer worry about trying to be whole.

They say curiosity killed the cat. And ever since you got curious about the wrong thing and followed that dog, you’ve regretted every decision you’ve made.

They warned him not to eat the fiddle player, but he did not listen. He did, of course, get sick. Everything in…

Things lay broken and forgotten, scattered as if a storm had swept through somewhere, regretting di…

Things the stars say. Things that wouldn’t disturb, but wouldn’t exactly lull you to sleep at night.

Think about someone you know who is either really short, really tall, or really fat. Have him/her walk into the room.

Think of the space capsule scene in “Wrath of Khan” and what ensues when a man with healthy “curiosity” and a few jumplings of plunk get together.

Think specifically and thoroughly about the last helicopter you saw. Then the last car you saw with its lights off. The last bag of bird seed.

This is more of an art technique. You pick a cool or funny sentence and then crop Griff before while typing it or doing something.

This list is a good way to begin when you don’t know what else to write. It gets the creative juices flowing and can open up new events to put in your flash fiction.

This one is great because it gives you the opportunity to tap into a deep, dark place in your soul and create a detestable Exceeder with one simple adjective…

Three little pigs. Pop! Goes the first pig’s house! Pop! Goes the second pig’s house! Whoops! There goes the big bad wolf… Oh, no…Not the third little pig’s house.

Throw your main character in a situation that is completely wrong and confusing for him/her. His/her normal behavior will seem very out of place.

Travel back in time to observe a historical event, alive and in person. Use your knowledge of the future to influence the outcome of said event.

Two co-workers ran into each other they hadn’t seen in a while. “Good to see you,” they greet. Then one says a little sarcastically . . .

Unplug everything. Feel your breathing. Slowly have a panic attack. And then plug it in and forget about it.

Until society is prepared to accept its place within the natural order and begin setting reasonable goals for alternatives, there is no choice but to rely on the perpetuation of primitive and environmentally atrocious technologies like nuclear power.

We demolished a small, defenseless, sandcastle and the world crushed us like it crept up on a surprise party.

What happens when you put the world’s grumpiest man in front of a mirror, and let him complain and moan about his life for ninety minutes…?

What if every word you wrote was written in pineapple upside-down cake? Would anything make any sense?

What if everything you thought you knew about vampires and the undead was a total lie? What if they were just people?

What is the funniest short story you have ever written, but really should sell because it’s really funny.

What is your ultimate reality television experience? Take Lana Condor On A Blind Date spoof scene from To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han for example! What is your ultimate reality television experience?

What shapes do you see in the pattern of life? Stories can create emotion, setting, likability, and help people learn about themselves and others. A believable story can capture the reader’s attention, if the grammar and sentence structure are good, then they should be able to read the story smoothly. If every aspect is perfect, that means nothing else is left undone. The tale could almost tell itself. The setting could almost design itself. If everything in a story feels real or plausible, then it lived up to the expectations.

When bored at a convention, one is advised to see the before and after photos. That should liven things up.

When my headlights were going out…no one knew that the red lights on the road were actually stop lights.

When there was nothing but sand in the brick, you had to pick up one of the bricks. Maybe it was my brick? Was my brick the one picked up last?

When your life looked like a stick drawing, only with a few scattered among your two dimensional reality.

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• Scriptwriting

How to Write Comedy — Tips, Techniques & Script Examples

A sk any creative writer what the hardest genre to write is and they’ll probably tell you that it’s comedy. That’s because story structure can only bring you so far in comedy writing – the fact of the matter is that if you aren’t funny, you aren’t funny. So how do you become funny? Do you read joke books? No! Like everything else, you practice until you become perfect – well, not perfect per se – most comedy writers would be happy with just okay. We’re going to show you how to write comedy, with script examples from 21 Jump Street and Curb Your Enthusiasm , but first, let’s define comedy writing.

Guide to Comedic Writing

What is comedy writing.

In simplest terms, comedy writing is a genre of writing that is intended to be funny. There’s much more to it than that, but first and foremost, the chief goal is to make the audience laugh. Let’s watch a quick video to hear one of the most successful comedy writers of all-time, Jerry Seinfeld, explain the basics of comedy writing.

Writing Comedy  •  Jerry Seinfeld on How to Write a Joke With The New York Times

Comedy writing is something you don’t see people doing. It’s a secretive thing.

— Jerry Seinfeld

As Seinfeld suggests, comedy writing is a very secretive thing. One reason why is because most comedy writers feel like their material has to be perfect before it’s presented. 

Think about it this way: let’s say you write a dramatic stage play. There’s no way to tell if the audience hated it – except if they fell asleep, then I’d say it’s fair to say they hated it. Now let’s say you write a comedic play. If the audience doesn’t laugh at the jokes, then you know they hated it.

You know, they know, everybody knows – a joke that doesn’t land is a special type of shame . It’s for this reason that comedy writing can feel so personal. The most important thing to remember is that nobody is funny 100% of the time, but by taking inspiration from some of the best, we can improve our craft.

Comedy writing doesn’t have to be a solitary craft. Due to the advent of the internet, comedy is more collaborative now more than ever. This next video explains how the Lonely Island sketch “Dear Sister” helped to usher in a new era of comedy.

How to Write Comedy  •  How ‘Dear Sister’ Changed Comedy by Karsten Runquist

The difference between Seinfeld’s traditionalist advice on comedy writing and Karsten Runquist’s new-age analysis is that one says that comedy is achieved by plot ; the other says that plot is achieved by comedy. Think of memes for example: what makes a meme funny? Well, I’d say memes are funny because somebody doesn’t “get it.”

A meme is like an inside joke between millions of people – but once it breaks out of that “inside” bubble, then it ceases to be funny. This teaches us something essential about comedy writing; almost always, somebody has to be the butt of the joke. No matter how big or small, somebody has to be made fun of. It’s this very notion that makes comedy writing so difficult. 

Rules of Comedy, Explained

Tips and tricks for writing comedy.

One of the most difficult aspects of comedy script writing is finding the right person to perform it. You could write something really clever, but if it’s performed in a tone that’s incongruent to what you mean, then it’s not going to sound funny.

So when writing any sort of comedy, don’t be afraid to add emphasis. That’s true in more ways than one – emphasize the punch-lines to your jokes, emphasize specificity, and emphasize contradictions. 

Like any type of writing, comedy writing relies on conflict . In this scene from Meet the Parents , the family patriarch Jack interrogates his daughter’s boyfriend Greg. Pay attention to how screenwriters Jim Herzfeld and John Hamburg entice us with character conflict.

How to Write Comedy  •  Watch the Meet the Parents Lie Detector Test Scene

I wanted to look at this scene for a couple reasons. The first is that it’s a great structural example of how to put together a comedic scene. The mean dad, clueless boyfriend trope is just that... a trope. So how do the writers make it feel refreshing and new?

Well, it starts with emphasis and exaggeration. Jack isn’t just any dad, he’s a former CIA operative. And Greg’s not just a clueless boyfriend, he’s a walking bad-luck charm. So in a structural sense, this relationship is primed for comedic conflict.

Here are five great tips for writing a comedy scene:

• Take a typical situation and exaggerate it
• Let tension build
• Use specificity
• Embarrass someone
• Finish with a bang

Now let’s see how Meet the Parents  utilizes these five strategies.

• Greg is visiting his girlfriend’s family. This is a typical situation – and at some level, it’s something we can all relate to. But it’s exaggerated by Jack’s CIA background.
• Say you’re the writer of a story like  Meet the Parents  and you have a great structural conflict between two characters (Jack and Greg) – how do you take that tension and build it? Well, start by putting the two characters in close proximity.
• Specificity is a double-edged sword in comedy writing. Notice how Greg is wearing Jack’s pajamas with the little JB insignia on the chest-pocket? That’s funny. Notice how there are a bunch of pictures of Jack undercover in the CIA? That’s funny. And it’s funny because it’s not forced on us.
• Jack embarrasses Greg by asking him uncomfortable questions. Situationally, this is funny, and it’s elevated by Robert De Niro’s great deadpan delivery. 
• Like Jerry Seinfeld said, always save the best joke for last. It’s an expectation in comedy writing that you’re going to end with a bang. In this scene from  Meet the Parents , it’s when Jack asks Greg if he watches porn.

WRITING COMEDY TIPS

How to make your script funny.

Would you believe me when I say there’s a secret technique you can use to instantly make any scene funnier? No, that sounds too good to be true! But alas, it is.

The technique known as irony  – which is defined as being the opposite of what we expect – can turn any scene on its head.

How to Write Comedy  •  21 Jump Street Screenplay

21 Jump Street went through a lengthy rewrite process. In this revision of the script, undercover cops Jenko and Schmidt arrive at a scene somewhat akin to what we see in the original tv show. There’s nothing wrong with the scene as it was originally written – but the final version of the scene shows just how much a difference irony can make.

Here, Jenko takes the lead, expecting to command the crowd like he did in high school. But as Bob Dylan famously said, the times are a-changin’. 

How to Write Comedy  •  Watch 21 Jump Street 

We expect Jenko to be considered “cool.” But instead, he’s condemned. Conversely, we expect Schmidt to be considered “lame.” But instead, he’s celebrated. This is irony . This character dynamic makes 21 Jump Street feel refreshing. If you’re considering writing a comedy script, think about how contrived character stereotypes can be subverted with irony. 

Writing Comedy Taboos

Things to avoid in comedy writing.

Most comedians will tell you that no topic is off-limits in comedy writing. And although that may be true, just remember that it’s really hard to make certain things funny – and you’re not going to win audiences over making jokes about taboo subject matter. 

We’ve all heard the saying “read the room” before, but how do we “read the room” when we’re writing alone? Well, one way is to take notes when you’re out in public, then transcribe them into a routine, sketch, or scene later. If you know Larry David’s Curb Your Enthusiasm , then this process may sound familiar.

This next video explains Larry David’s writing process for Curb in further detail.

Comedy Writing Techniques  •  How to Write Comedy Like Larry David by StoryDive

The reason I bring up Curb in regards to “what to avoid in comedy writing” is because Larry David is a master of navigating that ever-so-delicate line. Take this clip from Curb Your Enthusiasm Season Nine, Ep. 8 for example.

How to Write Humor  •  Study Perspective in this Curb Your Enthusiasm Clip

In this montage scene, a Muslim investigator looks into Larry’s past to see if he deserves a fatwa. In each part of the montage, a delicate subject matter is addressed. Why is it funny? Well, it’s all about perspective. In Curb Your Enthusiasm , Larry is consistently made out to be the bad guy. By framing him as the good guy, we see the ludicrousy of the show’s situations in a new light.

Don’t be afraid to play with perspective. Sometimes, the comedy of a scene is found in a perspective you would’ve never guessed. Consider framing your comedic situations in different ways.

This experimentation will often help you find the best angle to present your jokes.

Comedy lessons from Gene Wilder

We touched on a lot of the foundational aspects of comedy writing, but there’s so much more to it than what we went over here. In this next article, we break down how to direct actors, with special emphasis on how Gene Wilder changed comedy. By studying Wilder’s comedic style, we can learn a lot about how to be a better comedy writer.

Up Next: Directing Comedy Actors →

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• Writing Activities

105 Creative Writing Exercises To Get You Writing Again

You know that feeling when you just don’t feel like writing? Sometimes you can’t even get a word down on paper. It’s the most frustrating thing ever to a writer, especially when you’re working towards a deadline. The good news is that we have a list of 105 creative writing exercises to help you get motivated and start writing again!

What are creative writing exercises?

Creative writing exercises are short writing activities (normally around 10 minutes) designed to get you writing. The goal of these exercises is to give you the motivation to put words onto a blank paper. These words don’t need to be logical or meaningful, neither do they need to be grammatically correct or spelt correctly. The whole idea is to just get you writing something, anything. The end result of these quick creative writing exercises is normally a series of notes, bullet points or ramblings that you can, later on, use as inspiration for a bigger piece of writing such as a story or a poem. 

Good creative writing exercises are short, quick and easy to complete. You shouldn’t need to think too much about your style of writing or how imaginative your notes are. Just write anything that comes to mind, and you’ll be on the road to improving your creative writing skills and beating writer’s block . 

Use the generator below to get a random creative writing exercise idea:

List of 105+ Creative Writing Exercises

Here are over 105 creative writing exercises to give your brain a workout and help those creative juices flow again:

• Set a timer for 60 seconds. Now write down as many words or phrases that come to mind at that moment.
• Pick any colour you like. Now start your sentence with this colour. For example, Orange, the colour of my favourite top. 
• Open a book or dictionary on a random page. Pick a random word. You can close your eyes and slowly move your finger across the page. Now, write a paragraph with this random word in it. You can even use an online dictionary to get random words:

• Create your own alphabet picture book or list. It can be A to Z of animals, food, monsters or anything else you like!
• Using only the sense of smell, describe where you are right now.
• Take a snack break. While eating your snack write down the exact taste of that food. The goal of this creative writing exercise is to make your readers savour this food as well.
• Pick a random object in your room and write a short paragraph from its point of view. For example, how does your pencil feel? What if your lamp had feelings?
• Describe your dream house. Where would you live one day? Is it huge or tiny? 
• Pick two different TV shows, movies or books that you like. Now swap the main character. What if Supergirl was in Twilight? What if SpongeBob SquarePants was in The Flash? Write a short scene using this character swap as inspiration.
• What’s your favourite video game? Write at least 10 tips for playing this game.
• Pick your favourite hobby or sport. Now pretend an alien has just landed on Earth and you need to teach it this hobby or sport. Write at least ten tips on how you would teach this alien.
• Use a random image generator and write a paragraph about the first picture you see.

• Write a letter to your favourite celebrity or character. What inspires you most about them? Can you think of a memorable moment where this person’s life affected yours? We have this helpful guide on writing a letter to your best friend for extra inspiration.
• Write down at least 10 benefits of writing. This can help motivate you and beat writer’s block.
• Complete this sentence in 10 different ways: Patrick waited for the school bus and…
• Pick up a random book from your bookshelf and go to page 9. Find the ninth sentence on that page. Use this sentence as a story starter.
• Create a character profile based on all the traits that you hate. It might help to list down all the traits first and then work on describing the character.
• What is the scariest or most dangerous situation you have ever been in? Why was this situation scary? How did you cope at that moment?
• Pretend that you’re a chat show host and you’re interviewing your favourite celebrity. Write down the script for this conversation.
• Using extreme detail, write down what you have been doing for the past one hour today. Think about your thoughts, feelings and actions during this time.
• Make a list of potential character names for your next story. You can use a fantasy name generator to help you.
• Describe a futuristic setting. What do you think the world would look like in 100 years time?
• Think about a recent argument you had with someone. Would you change anything about it? How would you resolve an argument in the future?
• Describe a fantasy world. What kind of creatures live in this world? What is the climate like? What everyday challenges would a typical citizen of this world face? You can use this fantasy world name generator for inspiration.
• At the flip of a switch, you turn into a dragon. What kind of dragon would you be? Describe your appearance, special abilities, likes and dislikes. You can use a dragon name generator to give yourself a cool dragon name.
• Pick your favourite book or a famous story. Now change the point of view. For example, you could rewrite the fairytale , Cinderella. This time around, Prince Charming could be the main character. What do you think Prince Charming was doing, while Cinderella was cleaning the floors and getting ready for the ball?
• Pick a random writing prompt and use it to write a short story. Check out this collection of over 300 writing prompts for kids to inspire you. 
• Write a shopping list for a famous character in history. Imagine if you were Albert Einstein’s assistant, what kind of things would he shop for on a weekly basis?
• Create a fake advertisement poster for a random object that is near you right now. Your goal is to convince the reader to buy this object from you.
• What is the worst (or most annoying) sound that you can imagine? Describe this sound in great detail, so your reader can understand the pain you feel when hearing this sound.
• What is your favourite song at the moment? Pick one line from this song and describe a moment in your life that relates to this line.
•  You’re hosting an imaginary dinner party at your house. Create a list of people you would invite, and some party invites. Think about the theme of the dinner party, the food you will serve and entertainment for the evening. 
• You are waiting to see your dentist in the waiting room. Write down every thought you are having at this moment in time. 
• Make a list of your greatest fears. Try to think of at least three fears. Now write a short story about a character who is forced to confront one of these fears. 
• Create a ‘Wanted’ poster for a famous villain of your choice. Think about the crimes they have committed, and the reward you will give for having them caught. 
• Imagine you are a journalist for the ‘Imagine Forest Times’ newspaper. Your task is to get an exclusive interview with the most famous villain of all time. Pick a villain of your choice and interview them for your newspaper article. What questions would you ask them, and what would their responses be?
•  In a school playground, you see the school bully hurting a new kid. Write three short stories, one from each perspective in this scenario (The bully, the witness and the kid getting bullied).
• You just won $10 million dollars. What would you spend this money on?
• Pick a random animal, and research at least five interesting facts about this animal. Write a short story centred around one of these interesting facts. 
• Pick a global issue that you are passionate about. This could be climate change, black lives matters, women’s rights etc. Now create a campaign poster for this global issue. 
• Write an acrostic poem about an object near you right now (or even your own name). You could use a poetry idea generator to inspire you.
• Imagine you are the head chef of a 5-star restaurant. Recently the business has slowed down. Your task is to come up with a brand-new menu to excite customers. Watch this video prompt on YouTube to inspire you.
• What is your favourite food of all time? Imagine if this piece of food was alive, what would it say to you?
• If life was one big musical, what would you be singing about right now? Write the lyrics of your song. 
• Create and describe the most ultimate villain of all time. What would their traits be? What would their past look like? Will they have any positive traits?
• Complete this sentence in at least 10 different ways: Every time I look out of the window, I…
• You have just made it into the local newspaper, but what for? Write down at least five potential newspaper headlines . Here’s an example, Local Boy Survives a Deadly Illness.
• If you were a witch or a wizard, what would your specialist area be and why? You might want to use a Harry Potter name generator or a witch name generator for inspiration.
• What is your favourite thing to do on a Saturday night? Write a short story centred around this activity. 
• Your main character has just received the following items: A highlighter, a red cap, a teddy bear and a fork. What would your character do with these items? Can you write a story using these items? 
• Create a timeline of your own life, from birth to this current moment. Think about the key events in your life, such as birthdays, graduations, weddings and so on. After you have done this, you can pick one key event from your life to write a story about. 
• Think of a famous book or movie you like. Rewrite a scene from this book or movie, where the main character is an outsider. They watch the key events play out, but have no role in the story. What would their actions be? How would they react?
• Three very different characters have just won the lottery. Write a script for each character, as they reveal the big news to their best friend.  
• Write a day in the life story of three different characters. How does each character start their day? What do they do throughout the day? And how does their day end?
•  Write about the worst experience in your life so far. Think about a time when you were most upset or angry and describe it. 
• Imagine you’ve found a time machine in your house. What year would you travel to and why?
• Describe your own superhero. Think about their appearance, special abilities and their superhero name. Will they have a secret identity? Who is their number one enemy?
• What is your favourite country in the world? Research five fun facts about this country and use one to write a short story. 
• Set yourself at least three writing goals. This could be a good way to motivate yourself to write every day. For example, one goal might be to write at least 150 words a day. 
• Create a character description based on the one fact, three fiction rule. Think about one fact or truth about yourself. And then add in three fictional or fantasy elements. For example, your character could be the same age as you in real life, this is your one fact. And the three fictional elements could be they have the ability to fly, talk in over 100 different languages and have green skin. 
• Describe the perfect person. What traits would they have? Think about their appearance, their interests and their dislikes. 
• Keep a daily journal or diary. This is a great way to keep writing every day. There are lots of things you can write about in your journal, such as you can write about the ‘highs’ and ‘lows’ of your day. Think about anything that inspired you or anything that upset you, or just write anything that comes to mind at the moment. 
• Write a book review or a movie review. If you’re lost for inspiration, just watch a random movie or read any book that you can find. Then write a critical review on it. Think about the best parts of the book/movie and the worst parts. How would you improve the book or movie?
• Write down a conversation between yourself. You can imagine talking to your younger self or future self (i.e. in 10 years’ time). What would you tell them? Are there any lessons you learned or warnings you need to give? Maybe you could talk about what your life is like now and compare it to their life?
• Try writing some quick flash fiction stories . Flash fiction is normally around 500 words long, so try to stay within this limit.
• Write a six-word story about something that happened to you today or yesterday. A six-word story is basically an entire story told in just six words. Take for example: “Another football game ruined by me.” or “A dog’s painting sold for millions.” – Six-word stories are similar to writing newspaper headlines. The goal is to summarise your story in just six words. 
• The most common monsters or creatures used in stories include vampires, werewolves , dragons, the bigfoot, sirens and the loch-ness monster. In a battle of intelligence, who do you think will win and why?
• Think about an important event in your life that has happened so far, such as a birthday or the birth of a new sibling. Now using the 5 W’s and 1 H technique describe this event in great detail. The 5 W’s include: What, Who, Where, Why, When and the 1 H is: How. Ask yourself questions about the event, such as what exactly happened on that day? Who was there? Why was this event important? When and where did it happen? And finally, how did it make you feel?
• Pretend to be someone else. Think about someone important in your life. Now put yourself into their shoes, and write a day in the life story about being them. What do you think they do on a daily basis? What situations would they encounter? How would they feel?
• Complete this sentence in at least 10 different ways: I remember…
• Write about your dream holiday. Where would you go? Who would you go with? And what kind of activities would you do?
• Which one item in your house do you use the most? Is it the television, computer, mobile phone, the sofa or the microwave? Now write a story of how this item was invented. You might want to do some research online and use these ideas to build up your story. 
• In exactly 100 words, describe your bedroom. Try not to go over or under this word limit.
• Make a top ten list of your favourite animals. Based on this list create your own animal fact file, where you provide fun facts about each animal in your list.
• What is your favourite scene from a book or a movie? Write down this scene. Now rewrite the scene in a different genre, such as horror, comedy, drama etc.
•  Change the main character of a story you recently read into a villain. For example, you could take a popular fairytale such as Jack and the Beanstalk, but this time re-write the story to make Jack the villain of the tale.
• Complete the following sentence in at least 10 different ways: Do you ever wonder…
• What does your name mean? Research the meaning of your own name, or a name that interests you. Then use this as inspiration for your next story. For example, the name ‘Marty’ means “Servant Of Mars, God Of War”. This could make a good concept for a sci-fi story.
• Make a list of three different types of heroes (or main characters) for potential future stories.
• If someone gave you $10 dollars, what would you spend it on and why?
• Describe the world’s most boring character in at least 100 words. 
• What is the biggest problem in the world today, and how can you help fix this issue?
• Create your own travel brochure for your hometown. Think about why tourists might want to visit your hometown. What is your town’s history? What kind of activities can you do? You could even research some interesting facts. 
• Make a list of all your favourite moments or memories in your life. Now pick one to write a short story about.
• Describe the scariest and ugliest monster you can imagine. You could even draw a picture of this monster with your description.
• Write seven haikus, one for each colour of the rainbow. That’s red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. 
• Imagine you are at the supermarket. Write down at least three funny scenarios that could happen to you at the supermarket. Use one for your next short story. 
• Imagine your main character is at home staring at a photograph. Write the saddest scene possible. Your goal is to make your reader cry when reading this scene. 
• What is happiness? In at least 150 words describe the feeling of happiness. You could use examples from your own life of when you felt happy.
• Think of a recent nightmare you had and write down everything you can remember. Use this nightmare as inspiration for your next story.
• Keep a dream journal. Every time you wake up in the middle of the night or early in the morning you can quickly jot down things that you remember from your dreams. These notes can then be used as inspiration for a short story. 
• Your main character is having a really bad day. Describe this bad day and the series of events they experience. What’s the worst thing that could happen to your character?
• You find a box on your doorstep. You open this box and see the most amazing thing ever. Describe this amazing thing to your readers.
• Make a list of at least five possible settings or locations for future stories. Remember to describe each setting in detail.
• Think of something new you recently learned. Write this down. Now write a short story where your main character also learns the same thing.
• Describe the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen in your whole life. Your goal is to amaze your readers with its beauty. 
• Make a list of things that make you happy or cheer you up. Try to think of at least five ideas. Now imagine living in a world where all these things were banned or against the law. Use this as inspiration for your next story.
• Would you rather be rich and alone or poor and very popular? Write a story based on the lives of these two characters. 
• Imagine your main character is a Librarian. Write down at least three dark secrets they might have. Remember, the best secrets are always unexpected.
• There’s a history behind everything. Describe the history of your house. How and when was your house built? Think about the land it was built on and the people that may have lived here long before you.
• Imagine that you are the king or queen of a beautiful kingdom. Describe your kingdom in great detail. What kind of rules would you have? Would you be a kind ruler or an evil ruler of the kingdom?
• Make a wish list of at least three objects you wish you owned right now. Now use these three items in your next story. At least one of them must be the main prop in the story.
• Using nothing but the sense of taste, describe a nice Sunday afternoon at your house. Remember you can’t use your other senses (i.e see, hear, smell or touch) in this description. 
• What’s the worst pain you felt in your life? Describe this pain in great detail, so your readers can also feel it.
• If you were lost on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere, what three must-have things would you pack and why?
• Particpate in online writing challenges or contests. Here at Imagine Forest, we offer daily writing challenges with a new prompt added every day to inspire you. Check out our challenges section in the menu.

Do you have any more fun creative writing exercises to share? Let us know in the comments below!

Marty the wizard is the master of Imagine Forest. When he's not reading a ton of books or writing some of his own tales, he loves to be surrounded by the magical creatures that live in Imagine Forest. While living in his tree house he has devoted his time to helping children around the world with their writing skills and creativity.

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Written by S. Kalekar June 3rd, 2024

32 Themed Submission Calls and Contests for June 2024

These are themed calls and contests for fiction, nonfiction, and poetry. Some of the call themes are: red; monstrous; classic fairy tales; deadly Yellowstone; a brood of vampires; funny stories; and false memories. THEMED CALLS Mslexia: Red They want work by women authors only. They accept fiction , poetry , nonfiction , fun stuff, as well as pitches for interviews and articles. Some work they publish is on showcase themes (fiction and poetry), and some columns/sections are on other themes, or unthemed. Some sections are open for submissions by subscribers only. For the next issue, the showcase theme is Red. “Red: blood, roses, strawberries, ladybirds…or Taylor Swift’s fourth studio album? Send us your Red themed submissions for Issue 103.” Deadline: 10 th June for the showcase theme, and 8 th July 2024 for other inclusions in the next issue Length: Varies Pay: A minimum of £30, see their submission policy and payment rates here Details here . Space & Time: Solution Revolution They accept speculative fiction (up to 5,000 words preferred), poetry, and art. For fiction, they want “Broken boundaries, blown minds and new horizons. Science fiction, fantasy, horror, steampunk, magical realism—we look for work with a speculative element. Creative hybrids welcome. If you can combine horror, science fiction and fantasy into one compelling plot, you’ve caught our attention.” They want submissions on the ‘Solution Revolution’ theme for their next submission period, which is 15-30 June 2024. On the theme, they say, “There’s a lot going wrong in the world right now. In this issue we want to see answers. Work does not have to be solarpunk or hopepunk as sometimes solutions aren’t happy for everyone. Example: dogs evolve with opposable thumbs, take over the world and bring about world peace by putting people on leashes. This would be a story our publisher appreciates.” Submissions accepted in English, Spanish, Portuguese, French or Italian. Reading period: 15-30 June 2024 Length: Up to 5,000 words preferred for fiction (can accept up to 10,000 words), up to 3 poems Pay: $0.01/word for fiction, $5 for poetry Details here and here . Neon Hemlock Press: Baffling Magazine – Monstrous The tagline of Baffling Magazine is, ‘Speculative flash fiction with a queer bent’. “We’ll be open next in June, from the 1st to the 15th, reading on the theme of “monstrous” as well as unthemed submissions.” Submission is via a form. Deadline: 15 June 2024 Length: Up to 1,200 words Pay: $0.08/word Details here and here . (Neon Hemlock is also open for a reprint anthology, We’re Here: The Best of Queer Speculative Fiction . They want speculative stories published in 2023 under 17,500 words that implicitly or explicitly explore queerness and/or transness. Pay is $0.01/word, and the deadline is 31 December 2024. Details here .) carte blanche: Play This Canadian magazine accepts fiction, creative non-fiction, poetry,  translations (French to English only), photography, and comics. They’re reading submissions for Issue 49, and they want work on the ‘Play’ theme. “We are interested in your narrative and poetic experiments, odd stories, humorous pieces, weird fiction, and the quirky. We ultimately leave “Play” up for your interpretation. They specially welcome submissions from underrepresented writers. They may prioritize Quebec-based creators (see guidelines). Please note, there is a cap on poetry submissions – those may close earlier than the deadline if their quota is met.  Deadline: 15 June 2024 Length: Up to 3,500 words for prose, up to 3 poems Pay: $75 Details here and here .  Eye to the Telescope: Strange Mixology This is a speculative poetry magazine. For the Strange Mixology theme, they say, “As your fearless bartender, I’m looking for cosmic concoctions, time-twisted tinctures and charmed potions. Give me something with a kicker, the green fairy’s secret spells, the sweet sap of the old woods and the moonshine of mermaids, alien aperitifs and speakeasies in space. All spirits welcome, even the ones that don’t come in glass bottles. Feel free to interpret the theme broadly but make sure there’s a spec element. Give me your old-fashioned verse and cosmopolitan compositions, pink squirrels, bee’s knees, gimlets and juleps, juniper berries, elderflowers, the marriage vows of Old Tom Collins and Bloody Mary. Garnish with kaleidoscopic umbrellas and a twisty straw. In Poetry Veritas.” They also accept translations.Deadline: 15 June 2024 Length: Up to 3 poems Pay: $0.04/word (up to $25) Details here . The Fairy Tale Magazine: Classic Fairy Tales This magazine was formerly called Enchanted Conversations. “The theme for 2024 is Classic Fairy Tales. You can take a lot of license with the work, but there must be a clear connection to a specific old fairy tale in the work. We are also very open to the stories and poems focusing on seasonal holidays, like solstice celebrations, Halloween, Hanukkah,  etc. Stories must be PG in terms of content. A lot of young kids find our site, even though it’s not a kids publication. …Remember, stories and poems must have the theme in them, even though it needn’t be a huge part of the story. Do bear in mind that all fairy tale related fiction and poetry needs an element of the supernatural—as well as transformation. The essence of classic fairy tales should be maintained when you write these stories and poems.  (The editor) tends to prefer things to end happily, but it’s not absolutely essential.” They have detailed guidelines, please read them carefully. They will read for the fall/winter issue in June. Please send your work only during the reading period. Reading period: 17 to 24 June 2024 Length: 1,000-2,000 words for fiction, up to 500 words for poetry Pay: $25 Details here . Channel Magazine This Ireland-based magazine publishes fiction and poetry, for which they have submission periods; non-fiction (which is considered for both online and print) is considered on an ongoing basis. They have detailed guidelines, including, “We love work that speaks directly of a writer’s bond with and fear for our planet, and work that takes a local landscape, or a local flower, as its subject; equally, though, we love work that draws on an aspect of nature as setting, image or metaphor. We believe that all writing relies to some extent on historical engagement with nature, in that all human language has been shaped by our embeddedness in our shared environments.” For fiction and poetry, the deadline is 20 June 2024. They accept submissions in English and Irish. Deadline: 20 June 2024 for fiction and poetry, ongoing for nonfiction Length: Varies Pay: €35 per printed page, up to €250 per piece and with a minimum fee of €50 for single-page works; €35 per 400 words, up to a maximum of €250 per piece and with a minimum fee of €50 for work published online Details here . Flame Tree Publishing: Two anthologies Flame Tree is open for two anthologies in their Myths, Gods, and Immortals series; Anansi , and Circe . The please see the links for details on each theme. A note on their website says, “All previous submissions for Anansi are still under consideration and authors will be contacted in due course, within 4 months of the new deadline.” They also accept reprints for both anthologies, which will be published in hardcover. Deadline for both anthologies: 23 June 2024 Length: 3,000-4,000 words Pay: $0.08/word for originals Details here (Anansi) and here (Circe). Dragon’s Roost Press: Arkham Institutions Anthology This is a fiction anthology. “Arkham Institutions (tentative title) will feature 10 – 15 short stories focusing on the various aspects of government and business and their relationship with the oddness that creeps up in and around that most (in)famous New England Town. … We want to see Cosmic Horror stories set in and around Arkham, Innsmouth, and other mythos related areas that take place in or are associated with Lovecraftian tales AND which feature a public or private institution of some sort. What does Arkham Elementary teach? What weird cases does law enforcement have to deal with? What kind of people are seen in the Emergency Room? The psych ward? The local library? The institutions in question can appear in previous Mythos stories or be of your own creation. In fact, we would love to see some new places — let’s fill out that city map! Feel free to set your story in the timeframe that fits best. We are still looking for character driven stories, but make sure that these places are characters in their own rights. … We are not looking for stories set at Miskatonic University nor the Orne Library.” Please note, they will close submissions earlier than the deadline if they fill the anthology. Deadline: 30 June 2024, or until filled Length: 3,000-5,000 words Pay: $0.06/word Details here . Thalia Press: Deadly Yellowstone – A Collection of Mystery Shorts They want stories set in the Yellowstone National Park. “Explore the treacherous and awe-inspiring landscape of America’s first national park in this new anthology, “Deadly Yellowstone.” With scalding geysers, stampeding buffalo, and ravenous grizzlies, danger lurks at every turn. As a global tourist magnet, Yellowstone National Park attracts not only nature enthusiasts but also those with sinister intentions. Unravel the mysteries within the park’s boundaries as ten gripping short stories delve into baffling events amidst the beauty and danger of Yellowstone.” Stories can be serious or humorous, but must be in the crime fiction/mystery genre. Please see their note on contributor copies. Deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: Up to 10,000 words (see guidelines) Pay: $25 Details here . West Avenue Publishing: A Brood of Vampires West Avenue Publishing is a fantasy publisher, and they also release themed anthologies. The theme for their next anthology is ‘A Brood of Vampires’. They want fiction and poetry on the theme. Deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: Up to 5,000 words for fiction, poetry of any length Pay: $10 Details here . Chicken Soup for the Soul: Two themes They’re reading nonfiction prose and non-fiction poetry (no fiction) for various themed anthologies, and two of the deadlines are in June: for their ‘ Funny Stories ’ anthology, as well as the ‘ Grandmothers ’ themed anthology. They have detailed guidelines about the kind of stories they want; see their ‘ Possible Book Topics ’ tab for details on the themes. They have other themes listed too, with later deadlines. Also see their FAQ . Please note, their submission deadlines change sometimes, so please double-check before submitting. Deadline: 30 June 2024 for the above themes Length: Up to 1,200 words Pay: $250 Details here and here . Blue Planet Press: Far Futures 3 – An Anthology of Deep Space This is a fiction anthology. “Space exploration. From the outer planets of our solar system to the edge of the Orion Spur and the even more distant Andromeda Galaxy. How will we get there? Generation ships? Faster than light engines? Dimensional warping? Wormholes? Submissions will involve space travel in some form to deep space. Stories may start or end planet-side, but the bulk of the tale must be in space. Military sci-fi is welcome.” Deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: 6,000-10,000 words Pay: Half a cent per word, up to $50 Details here . The Deadlands They want death-related fiction from BIPOC writers only for the June submission window. They have extensive guidelines, including, “The Deadlands exists in liminal spaces between life, death, and elsewhere. We are looking for fiction that concerns itself with death—but also everything death may involve . A ghost in a shadowed wood. An afterlife discovered through a rusted door. An abandoned house in the middle of a haunted field. A skeletal figure moving with intent toward something unseen. Death personified. Burials in troubled lands. … We are not simply a “horror market.” Sure, we want your horror, but we also want your litfic, your slipstream, your fantasy, your sf, your chicklit, your hist-fic, your everything fic. Death touches everything and so should our fiction.” Their guidelines have details about the kind of work they like, and also the hard sells. They also accept reprints. While they want fiction from BIPOC writers only for this submission window, they have all their submission periods for the year listed on the website. Deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: Up to 5,000 words Pay: $0.10/word Details here . Zoetic Press: Non-Binary Review – False Memories They want poetry, fiction, essays, translations, and art. They’re reading on the False Memories theme. Please remember, they accept submissions until a cap is reached, or the deadline, whichever comes first. All submissions must have a clear relationship to the theme. Apart from the theme, they are also accepting submissions for Dear Horace Greely and Heartbeats: Visual Verse sections; they also offer feedback to 4 POC poets every month. On the False Memories theme, they say, “False memories first came to public consciousness in the 1980s when a group of pre-schoolers at a California preschool were coached by well-meaning social workers and police investigators into “remembering” Satanic abuse that never happened. The fallout from that episode wasn’t just the persecution of an innocent family, but a nationwide mass delusion now known as “the Satanic Panic,” where authorities were warning the public about supposed widespread satanic cults committing heinous acts of abuse. Not a single one of these warnings were founded in fact, and it is now known that a large number of them were propaganda. But false memories aren’t always bad. There is a common phenomenon wherein people hear stories of their early childhoods so often that those stories turn into “memories.” It is common in dreams to have “memories” of things that happened to the dream self, but not to the real self. Or a person might believe that they took their regular medication, brought in the garbage bins, or picked up the mail when they haven’t. We’re looking for weird and wonderful stories of not just the memories themselves, but of their production, their repercussions, their wider meanings. We’re looking for false memories that might have changed history, that led to remarkable discoveries, that impacted lives.” They do not want works on recovered memory. They would also like to avoid stories centering abuse, trauma, and violence. Deadline: 31 July 2024, or until filled Length: Up to 3,000 words for prose; up to 3 pages for poetry Pay: $0.01/word for prose, $10 for poetry Details here and here .

(They’re also accepting submissions for other sections:  – “ Dear Horace Greeley is our advice column for authors.” Details on the kind of questions you can ask, and publication of the letters, are here and here . — “ Heartbeats: Visual Verse isn’t just poetry. It’s poetry that can only work in a visual medium. We want layers of meaning and emotion; we want evocative images and surprising combinations of words, music, and visuals.” Details here and here . They also offer feedback to 4 POC poets every month – please see their Submittable page for details.) Nonprofit Quarterly Magazine: Fall 2024 Climate Justice Issue NPQ is a general-interest magazine which welcomes submissions that seek to advance the work of nonprofits, philanthropists, and social movements in the US. For the current call, they want climate justice writing by “ movement leaders and practitioners in the field of all ages—including, and especially, youth (ages 18–35) —for a special edition centered on the young people bringing new leadership, energy, and hope to the climate justice movement. Youth are moving beyond talk and into action, including legislation proposals brought to policy tables in the United States and globally. We want to know what the youth climate justice movement needs to support their goals, and what’s next for the youngest generations fighting climate change. We’re seeking articles that describe the current state of youth climate justice work, concerns of youth, and new visions for the planet. What we are looking for… Articles by climate writers and leaders of all ages that describe work being done in the field, visions for the future, personal experiences with the climate movement, and how climate intersects with issues of health, gender, disability, neurodivergence, racial justice, and economic justice. (Word count: 800–3,000) Creative writing by youth —from personal narrative to fiction to poetry—that describes living through the current climate crisis. How is your community being shaped and re-shaped by climate? (Word count: no more than 1,000 words.)” Submission deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: See above Pay: $200-500 for writing, $50-100 for art Details here (theme details) and here (general pitch guide) New York Times: Modern Love Modern Love is NYT’s nonfiction column, and their reading period has just opened. They want “honest personal essays about contemporary relationships. We seek true stories on finding love, losing love and trying to keep love alive. We welcome essays that explore subjects such as adoption, polyamory, technology, race and friendship — anything that could reasonably fit under the heading “Modern Love.” Ideally, essays should spring from some central dilemma you have faced. It is helpful, but not essential, for the situation to reflect what is happening in the world now.” Also, “Love may be universal, but individual experiences can differ immensely and be informed by factors including race, socio-economic status, gender, disability status, nationality, sexuality, age, religion and culture.” Send essays of 1,500-1,700 words. Modern Love has two submission periods, September through December, and March through June. Writers are paid. Send submissions to modernlove (at) nytimes.com. They especially welcome work from historically underrepresented writers, and from those outside the US. Deadline: 30 June 2024 Length: 1,500-1,700 words Pay: Unspecified Details here . (Also see NYT’s Tiny Love Stories column; these are also personal essays similar in theme to Modern Love, but much shorter, of 100 words.)  Thema: A New Routine They publish three themed issues a year. They accept short stories, essays, poetry, and art. Their upcoming theme is ‘ A New Routine ’, and the deadline is 1 July 2024; they have other themes too, with other deadlines. They also accept reprints. Only writers outside of the US can submit by email, US-based writers have to post their submissions. Deadline: 1 July 2024 (see guidelines) Length: Up to 20 pages for fiction, up to 3 poems Pay: $10-25 Details here . Spooky This cozy horror magazine is reading on the Halloween theme, as well as unthemed horror submissions. They have detailed guidelines about the kind of stories they want, including, “Cozy horror. Fun horror. Classy horror. Dare we say, wholesome horror? … perhaps the easiest way to understand what we mean is to read stories by some of the old masters we love: Ray Bradbury, Charles Beaumont, Richard Matheson, Robert Bloch, Roald Dahl. Watch classic episodes of Thriller, The Twilight Zone, and Night Gallery. Read old horror comics. Listen to radio dramas like Suspense, Quiet, Please, and Inner Sanctum Mysteries. … In short, we’re looking to provide a space for a type of storytelling that has largely gone out of style – dark and scary, but playful and approachable with an emphasis on plot.” They also want horror haiku. Deadline: 13 July 2024 Length: Up to 5,000 words (prefer 2,500-3,000 words) for fiction Pay: $0.01/word Details here and here . Black Cat Publishing: Black Cat Tales This is a fiction and poetry anthology. “A black cat approaches, do you eagerly cross its path, or run in the opposite direction? From the superstitious to the unlucky, from a witch’s familiar to a soul stealing grave robber, black cats have captured our imagination and remain solidly in the realm of the dark. Dazzle us with your best black cat story or poem. A black cat or a clowder of black cats must be featured predominantly in your story and not simply set decoration.” Regarding genre, they say, “horror, dark fantasy, sci-fi, erotica, weird westerns, cyberpunk, steampunk…we’re open to all but prefer dark fiction.” Deadline: 15 July 2024 Length: 500 – 3,500 words for story, max 25 lines for poetry Pay: $50 for fiction, $25 for poetry Details here . THEMED CONTESTS

There are also some unthemed contests open this month, including:

— Theatre503 International Playwriting Award — They want script submissions from debut/early-career playwrights around the world. The award aims to identify and champion debut/early career playwrights – see guidelines for eligibility details. They also accept co-written and translated scripts. Musicals are not eligible. Submission is via a portal. Winner gets £3,000 in prize money and £3,000 as an advance against 8% of the gross box office, the deadline is 30 June 2024. Details here .

(And see Soho Theatre’s Verity Bargate Award for UK and Ireland based playwrights, prize £8,000, and other benefits, deadline 17 June 2024, details here .)

— Faber Children’s: FAB Prize – This is for undiscovered BAME writers and illustrators; you can read the prize announcement for 2024 here . Entrants must be of black, Asian or minority ethnic background and UK- or Ireland-based. For writers, they want a maximum of 5,000 words of text (no minimum word count). Also, “it does not have to be a short story (though those are welcome too!) We do strongly advise you to complete your work insofar as you can, even if you do not enter the whole manuscript: after the ceremony agents will request the full manuscript, so in order to get the most out of the prize, it is best to have the whole manuscript ready to go.” Entries must be text or artwork for children. The prize is £1,500; second place £500 each for a writer and an illustrator, and mentorship. The deadline is 28 June 2024.  Details here , here , here , and here . — Drue Heinz Literature Prize – This is for previously published writers – see guidelines. The prize is for a manuscript – they want a short story collection, or two or more novellas. Novellas are only accepted as part of a larger collection. Manuscripts may be no fewer than 150 and no more than 300 pages. The prize is $15,000, and publication by the University of Pittsburgh Press under its standard contract. The deadline is 30 June 2024. Details here , here , and here .)

Fraser Institu te Student Essay Contest This is a prize for Canadian students (high school, undergraduate, and graduate students studying in Canada and Canadian students studying abroad). For this year’s essay contest, the theme is, What would the Fraser Institute’s Essential Scholars say about the world today? (See their guidelines for details). Essays should be 1,000-1,500 words. Value: Prizes ranging from CAD1,500 to CAD250 each in high school, undergraduate, and graduate categories Deadline: 5 June 2024 Open for: Canadian students Details here (download rules and FAQ) and here

Bow Seat Ocean Awareness Contest This is for junior and senior division (11-14 and 15-18) students worldwide. The theme for this ocean awareness contest is Tell Your Climate Story (see guidelines). There are various categories: Visual Art (handcrafted and digital); Poetry & Spoken Word; Creative Writing; Film; Performing Arts: Music & Dance; and Interactive & Multimedia. Please also see their various special awards , including  (but not limited to) the We All Rise Prize – five prizes of $500 each, in each category – for young underrepresented writers in the US . Value: Awards ranging from $1,000 to $100 in each category; various special prizes (see here ) Deadline: 10 June 2024 Open for: Students ages 11-18 Details here .

Goi Peace Foundation: International Essay Contest for Young People This is an international essay contest for people aged up to 25 years, in two categories – children and youth. The theme is, My Experience of Overcoming Conflict . See guidelines for theme details. Entries can be in English, French, (up to 700 words), or Japanese (up to 1,600 characters). Value: For each category, there is one first prize is JPY100,000 (about $660); three second prizes of JPY50,000 (about $330) each; five third prizes, and 25 honorable mentions Deadline: 15 June 2024 Open for: Children ages 14 and under; youth ages 15-25 years Details here .

Imagine 2200: Climate Fiction for Future Ancestors This is a climate fiction contest from Fix, Grit’s solutions lab. They want stories of 2,500-5,000 words. “Imagine 2200 is an invitation to writers from all over the globe to imagine a future in which solutions to the climate crisis flourish and help bring about radical improvements to our world.” They have detailed guidelines on the kind of stories they want, please read them carefully. Additionally, “We are also partnering with Oregon State University’s Spring Creek Project, which will offer the winning writer (or a runner-up, in the case the winner cannot accept) the opportunity to participate in its Environmental Writing Fellowship and Residency, including a writing residency at the Cabin at Shotpouch Creek for the winner to spend up to four weeks in residence to continue their climate writing project. The Fellow will receive a $3,000 honorarium from Spring Creek Project.” Value: $3,000, residency; $2,000, $1,000; and $300 each for nine winners Deadline: 24 June 2024 Open for: All writers Details here and here . 2024 Love Books Competition This is a contest for UK writers, and part of the Malborough Lit Fest. “We want you to tell us why you love your favourite book, poem or play. Your response should be in the form of a piece of text of up to 750 words. Entrants should explain what they love about their chosen read, highlighting key areas of interest, and why they think others should try it. We are looking for creative, passionate, and engaging responses which celebrate your love of reading.” You could write about a novel, a graphic novel, a poem, a collection of poetry, or a play. The contest is for three age groups, 13-15 years, 16-19 years, 20+ years. Entry is via a form. Value: £300, £100 for winners in each age group Deadline: 28 June 2024 Open for: UK residents with a UK bank account Details here . Hubert Butler Essay Prize This is a themed essay contest, of up to 3,000 words, for writers who are UK or European Union citizens. “The Hubert Butler Essay Prize is intended to encourage the art of essay-writing with a European dimension and to expand interest in Butler’s work. … The subject for the 2024 essay prize is: ‘ With narratives of conflict currently distorted by misinformation and the substitution of memory for history, what are the chances of reconciliation? ’“ Value: €1,500; two second prizes of €500 Deadline: 28 June 2024 Open for: UK, European Union citizens Details here (download the entry form). The Fountain Essay Contest They want an essay on the topic, ‘ Where is Home ’. See guidelines for details on the theme. Ideal length is 1,500-2,500 words. Also, “There is no age limit or a condition to fulfill for entry.” Please read the terms carefully, any of the entries may be published in any medium, whether or not they win the prize Value: $1,000, $500, $300, two prizes of $150 each Deadline: 30 June 2024 Details  here and here . Last Stanza Poetry Journal This is a call for a themed poetry issue, on ‘ A Table in the Wilderness ’. A single $100 award will be given for an outstanding poem. An interview with the Editor’s Choice Award winner will be published in the same issue (optional). Poems can be any style, but preferably non-rhyming. Submit up to three poems, each no longer than 64 lines. Value: $100 Deadline: 30 June 2024 Open for: All writers Details here . 

Preservation Foundation Contest: General Non-Fiction This is an international contest for unpublished writers (see guidelines). Their upcoming deadline is for the general non-fictioncategory: “Any appropriate nonfiction topic is eligible. Stories must be true, not semi-fictional accounts. So-called “creative nonfiction” will not be considered.” Entries should be 1,000-5,000 words. Please note, they want all entries, regardless of whether or not they win, to be on their website for as long as the foundation exists (see guidelines). Also see contests in other genres, which have deadlines later in the year.  Value: $200, $100 Deadline: 30 June 2024 Open for: Unpublished writers Details here . The Writers College: My Writing Journey Competition This is an international contest, open to all writers. They want a 600-word essay on the theme, The best writing tip I’ve ever received . Value: NZ$200 (R2000 or £100) Deadline: 30 June 2024 Open for: All writers Details here . (They also have a short story contest with a later deadline, for writers who are unpublished or have been published fewer than four times; see here for theme and other guidelines.) Richard J. Margolis Award The award is for non-fiction writers of social justice journalism. It is for a promising new journalist or essayist whose work combines warmth, humour, wisdom and concern with social justice . Applications should include 2-3 non-fiction writing samples, up to 30 pages. At least one sample should be non-memoir material. Value: $5,000, residency at Blue Mountain Centre artists’ colony; $1,000 for runners-up Deadline: 1 July 2024 Open for: Unspecified Details here and here . The Forum Essay Prize This is an essay prize from Oxford Academic / Oxford University Press and is open to all researchers, whether early-career or established, on the Art(s) of Delight theme. They have detailed guidelines, including, “We are looking for bold, visionary and persuasive essays that use academic research to pursue innovative questions. … The topic may be addressed from the perspective of any of the literatures (including literary linguistics, translation and comparative literature approaches) normally covered by the journal: Arabic, English, French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Russian and Spanish. submissions in comparative literature and literary translation studies are also welcomed, as are those dealing with visual art, film and the performing arts. Forum for Modern Language Studies aims to reflect the essential pluralism of research in modern languages and to provide a forum for worldwide scholarly discussion. We are seeking submissions that focus on literature, film, art, or other cultural outputs that manifest delight in their content or form and/or which provoke us to find joy in how we read, write, research and teach in our discipline(s).” The winning essay will also get published in an issue of Forum for Modern Language Studies. Value: £500 Deadline: 1 July 2024 Open for: All researchers Details here . A couple of contests with later deadlines are:

— The H G Wells Short Story Competition: This is an international short story contest; they want short fiction of 1,500-5,000 words on this year’s theme, The Fool. There is no fee for The Margaret and Reg Turnill Competition for young writers, i.e. for those under 21 years, and the prize for that is £1,000. The deadline is 8 July 2024. Also see their FAQ . Details here and here . — The Mustapha Matura and Alfred Fagon Awards: The Mustapha Matura Award is an opportunity for UK-based playwrights of Caribbean or African descent, resident in the UK, who are 25 years or younger, for a play. The play must be a minimum of 40 pages, and does not need to have been produced. However, if it has, only plays produced since August 2023 will be considered. The prize is £3,000 and mentoring from a top Black British playwright. The deadline is 31 July 2024. Details here . And submissions are also open for Alfred Fagon Awards for UK-based playwrights of Caribbean or African descent, resident in the UK, for a play. The award is £6,000, and the deadline is 31 July 2024. Details here . Please note, writers cannot enter both the Mustapha Matura Award and Alfred Fagon Award. Also see their Roland Rees Bursary . — Amazon: Kindle Storyteller Award: This is an international award for those who publish their work through Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing in English in any genre. Entrants must make the book available for sale in both digital and print versions through KDP between 1 st May 2024 and 31 st August 2024. The book must be at least 24 pages long, and can have a maximum of 2 co-authors. Please note, the books must be published through their KDP Select program (be only available on Amazon), and readers play a significant role in winner selection (see Terms & Conditions – which also lists ineligible countries/nationalities – and FAQ ). The book can have up to two co-authors. The prize is £20,000, and the deadline is 31 August 2024. Details here .

Bio:  S. Kalekar is the pseudonym of a regular contributor to this magazine. She can be reached  here

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