Bridgewater student’s Harvard admissions essay about finding passion for life after losing her mother to cancer goes viral on TikTok

Yes, abigail mack got in. she begins classes in the fall..

Abigail Mack wrote an essay about losing her mother to cancer that helped get her into Harvard. Videos of her sharing the essay have been viewed millions of times.

When Abigail Mack sat down to write her college application essay in October, she had a sudden realization: She strongly disliked the letter “s.”

The consonant had stung since she was 12, when her mother, Julie, died of cancer. Each time she heard the word “parents,” or said it herself, she realized she only had one. In time, she found herself wanting to escape the heavy grief that seemed to cling to its snake-like curve.

Staring at a blank screen, Mack, a Bridgewater resident who attends Cardinal Spellman High School in Brockton, started to type.

“I hate the letter ‘S’,” she wrote. From there, the words poured out.

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The result was a heartfelt narrative about how running from the letter “S,” a symbol for the pain of losing her mother at a young age, led her to trying to distract herself with a range of extracurricular activities and hobbies — some of which eventually became passions that motivated her to keep going.

The powerful essay ended up helping her — along with her many academic achievements — land a coveted spot in Harvard College’s class of 2025, at a time when the school saw a record number of applicants.

After learning she had been accepted, Mack shared her story and essay on the popular video app TikTok this month, where 60-second clips of her describing her essay and why she wrote it have now been viewed close to 20 million times. Her essay has sparked an outpouring of support from all over the world, with many posting that they, too, had lost a parent to cancer growing up.

@a_vmack ♬ original sound - Abigail Mack

“I’ve gotten so many bittersweet comments from people who have had similar experiences, saying I had put into words what they had been feeling,” she said. “It’s been so nice to feel like I’ve connected with so many people about that topic.”

Mack, 18, decided to share her essay about her mother on social media after initially posting her reaction to getting into Harvard in March — a tradition for many high schoolers overjoyed to be heading to college.

From there, Mack began posting other school-related content for her followers, and answering questions from people curious about her academic journey. In late April, she posted the first in a series of videos about her essay, including one that has now been viewed some 16 million times.

“I had been really hesitant to share it just because it’s so personal,” she said. “But I thought about it some more ... so I decided to share it.”

Mack said she had long known she would write about her mother, recalling her as a kind, empathetic, and brilliant woman who was adored in her community. She ran a dance company, Julie’s Studio of Dance, with Mack’s father, Jonathan.

“My mom set the greatest example for me,” Mack said. “She had a way of making everybody feel so special and unique. She was so upbeat, and positive, and brave.”

But when it came time to write about her, Mack ended up with a completely different essay than she hoped for, one that focused more on her own loss and less on how the experience shaped her life.

So Mack, a devout theater enthusiast, went back to the drawing board in October with a new perspective.

“I remember sitting down at my computer in English class — it was an assignment to write our college essays — and I thought about the difference between ‘parent’ and ‘parents’ and how much ‘parents’ is so much more common in our vernacular,” she said. “Once I came up with that hook, the rest of the essay wrote itself.”

It started like this: “I hate the letter ‘S.’ Of the 164,777 words with ‘S,’ I only grapple with one. To condemn an entire letter because of its use 0.0006 percent of the time sounds statistically absurd, but that one case changed 100 percent of my life. I used to have two parents, but now I have one.”

“’S’ follows me,” she wrote. “As I write this essay, there is a blue line under the word ‘parent’ telling me to check my grammar ... but cancer doesn’t listen to edit suggestions.”

She recalled how she unintentionally became the “busy kid,” filling the void left by her mother with theater, sports, and afterschool programs. Eventually, she realized there were a few activities in particular that made her happiest.

“I stopped running away from a single ‘S,’ and began chasing a double ‘S’ — passion,” she wrote of narrowing her focus to politics, theater, and academics. “I’ve finally learned to move forward instead of away, and it’s liberating.”

Mack, who also got into Notre Dame, Georgetown University, Dartmouth College, and Northwestern University, said she didn’t entirely expect the video series to take off like it has but is glad her story has resonated so widely.

“It still doesn’t feel real,” said Mack, who is interested in studying foreign policy and international relations. “I’ve been a little bit nervous about my [future] classmates at Harvard seeing the video.”

Mack’s father, who met Julie at Holy Cross in the late 1990s and still runs the family’s dance studio, said he has been touched by the reactions to his daughter’s essay and is glad she found light in the darkness.

“Writing the essay gave her a chance to reflect on this last period of her life,” he said. “I think it’s good for her to be able to recognize the good things that have come from that.”

Steve Annear can be reached at [email protected] . Follow him @steveannear .

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Home > Cancer Research Catalyst > Cancer Survivors: In Their Words

Cancer Survivors: In Their Words

This year alone, an estimated 1.8 million people will hear their doctor say they have cancer. The individual impact of each person can be clouded in the vast statistics. In honor of National Cancer Survivor Month,  Cancer Today would like to highlight several personal essays we’ve published from cancer survivors at different stages of their treatment. 

college essay about parent with cancer

In  this essay , psychiatrist Adam P. Stern’s cerebral processing of his metastatic kidney cancer diagnosis gives rise to piercing questions. When he drops off his 3-year-old son to daycare, he ponders a simple exchange: his son’s request for a routine morning hug before he turns to leave. “Will he remember me, only a little, just enough to mythologize me as a giant who used to carry him up the stairs? As my health declines, will he have to learn to adjust to a dad who used to be like all the other dads but then wasn’t?” he questions. 

college essay about parent with cancer

In  another essay from a parent with a young child, Amanda Rose Ferraro describes the abrupt change from healthy to not healthy after being diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia in May 2017. After a 33-day hospital stay, followed by weeklong chemotherapy treatments, Ferraro’s cancer went into remission, but a recurrence required more chemotherapy and a stem cell transplant. Ferraro describes harrowing guilt over being separated from her 3-year-old son, who at one point wanted nothing to do with her. “Giving up control is hard, but not living up to what I thought a mother should be was harder. I had to put myself first, and it was the hardest thing I had ever done,” she writes.

In January 1995, 37-year-old Melvin Mann was diagnosed with chronic myelogenous leukemia, which would eventually mean he would  need to take a chance on a phase I clinical trial that tested an experimental drug called imatinib—a treatment that would go on to receive U.S. Food and Drug Administration approval under the brand name Gleevec. It would also mean trusting a system with a documented history of negligence and abuse of Black people like him: “Many patients, especially some African Americans, are afraid they will be taken advantage of because of past unethical experiments like the infamous Tuskegee syphilis study​,” Mann writes, before describing changes that make current trials safer. Mann’s been on imatinib ever since and has enjoyed watching his daughter become a physician and celebrating 35 years of marriage.

college essay about parent with cancer

In  another essay , Carly Flumer addresses the absurdity of hearing doctors reassure her that she had a good cancer after she was diagnosed with stage I papillary thyroid cancer in 2017. “What I did hear repeatedly from various physicians was that I had the ‘good cancer,’ and that ‘if you were to have a cancer, thyroid would be the one to get,’” she writes.

In another piece for Cancer Today , Flumer shares  how being diagnosed with cancer just four months after starting a graduate program shaped her education and future career path.

For Liza Bernstein, her breast cancer diagnosis created a paradox as she both acknowledged and denied the disease the opportunity to define who she was. “In the privacy of my own mind, I refused to accept that cancer was part of my identity, even though it was affecting it as surely as erosion transforms the landscape,” she writes . “Out in the world, I’d blurt out, ‘I have cancer,’ because I took questions from acquaintances like ‘How are you, what’s new?’ literally. Answering casual questions with the unvarnished truth wasn’t claiming cancer as my identity. It was an attempt to dismiss the magnitude of it, like saying ‘I have a cold.’” By her third primary breast cancer diagnosis, Bernstein reassesses and moves closer to acceptance as she discovers her role as advocate.

college essay about parent with cancer

As part of the staff of  Cancer Today , a magazine and online resource for cancer patients, survivors and caregivers, we often refer to a succinct tagline to sum up our mission: “Practical knowledge. Real hope.” Part of providing information is also listening closely to cancer survivors’ experiences. As we celebrate National Cancer Survivor Month, we elevate these voices, and all patients and survivors in their journeys.

Cancer Today is a magazine and online resource for cancer patients, survivors, and caregivers published by the American Association for Cancer Research.  Subscriptions to the magazine are free ​ to cancer patients, survivors and caregivers who live in the U.S. 

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College Scholarship Opportunities for Cancer Survivors and Family Members

4 Scholarship Opportunities for Cancer Survivors and Family Members

Many people who have experienced cancer, either as survivors or as close family members of those affected, understand that the battle extends far beyond the medical realm. The repercussions often touch every facet of life, including education. As the costs of treatment can be overwhelming, it may be challenging for survivors or their family members to pursue higher education and fulfill their academic goals. However, it is heartening to know that there are numerous scholarships specifically designed to aid individuals who have been directly or indirectly affected by cancer. We hope that this information will serve as a practical aid for anyone striving to pursue their academic dreams after dealing with this terrible disease. ❤️

Four Scholarship Programs Available Now

Education should never be out of reach, and there are numerous educational discount programs designed specifically for those diagnosed with cancer. Tuition waivers, scholarships, and grants can make higher education more accessible. Vocational training programs and certifications are available too, which can open up new career opportunities for you. We encourage you to take advantage of these opportunities to enhance your skills and broaden your horizons.

1. Patient Advocate Foundation (PAF) Scholarships for Survivors

PAF’s scholarship program specifically aids students who have been diagnosed with or treated for a critical or life-threatening disease, including cancer. The scholarship helps students pursuing their undergraduate degree. Visit the PAF website for more information.

The Patient Advocate Foundation (PAF) Scholarships for Survivors program provides financial support to individuals who have been diagnosed with or treated for a critical or life-threatening disease, to aid in the pursuit of their undergraduate degree. Acknowledging the immense financial burden that healthcare costs can place on a family, this scholarship aims to alleviate some of the stress associated with higher education expenses.

The scholarship is open to students under the age of 25 and awards up to $3,000 per year, for a maximum of four years, to the selected applicants. The recipients of this scholarship are selected based on their academic achievement, leadership skills, and commitment to community service. In addition to the financial aid, the program also provides valuable resources and support to help students navigate their educational journey amidst health challenges.

Applying for the PAF Scholarships for Survivors program involves a comprehensive application process wherein students are required to submit their academic records, letters of recommendation, a personal essay, and a detailed account of their medical history. For more information on the eligibility criteria, application process, and deadlines, interested individuals are encouraged to visit the official website of the Patient Advocate Foundation.

2. The Ulman Foundation Scholarships

The Ulman Foundation offers multiple scholarships for young adults who have been affected by cancer, whether through their own diagnosis or the diagnosis of a loved one. Each scholarship aims to provide funds to support the education of these individuals. More information can be found on the Ulman Foundation website.

The Ulman Foundation offers an array of scholarships aimed at supporting young adults who have been impacted by cancer. Whether they themselves have been diagnosed, or a loved one, these scholarships aim to lessen the financial burden of education during a challenging time.

Among these is the “Ulman Cancer Fund for Young Adults Scholarship”, which targets young adults who have been diagnosed with cancer and are under the age of 40. There’s also the “Marilyn Yetso Memorial Scholarship”, specifically for those who have lost a parent to cancer, and the “Sib’s Journey Scholarship” that offers financial support to siblings of cancer patients.

Each scholarship has distinct eligibility criteria and application processes that prospective applicants should familiarize themselves with. Generally, the application process involves submitting academic transcripts, a personal essay detailing the applicant’s experience with cancer, and letters of recommendation.

These scholarships present an opportunity for personal growth and academic development aimed at those affected by cancer, enabling them to pursue their education despite the associated challenges. For additional details on eligibility, the application process, and the range of scholarships available, individuals are encouraged to visit the official Ulman Foundation website.

3. The John Foy & Associates Strong Arm Leukemia Scholarship

This $1,000 scholarship is open to college students who have battled leukemia or whose life has been affected by it. It is designed to help them achieve their academic goals despite the financial burden of their disease. Visit the John Foy & Associates website for further details.

The John Foy & Associates Strong Arm Leukemia Scholarship is a significant financial assistance program designed to support college students impacted by leukemia. Whether they themselves have battled the disease or have been affected by a loved one’s struggle, this scholarship aims to empower these individuals to pursue their academic ambitions.

The scholarship awards $1,000 to one student annually, directly contributing to their education-related expenses such as tuition, books, and housing. This financial aid aims to alleviate the financial strain often associated with managing both higher education and the expenses of a critical illness.

The application process for the Strong Arm Leukemia Scholarship is comprehensive, requiring candidates to submit a detailed application, academic transcripts, and an original essay. The essay should reflect the applicant’s personal experience with leukemia, and how it has influenced their life and education journey.

Recipients are chosen based on their academic achievements, personal essay, and their demonstrated determination to overcome the adversities associated with leukemia. This scholarship ultimately serves as a testament to the resilience and strength of students battling leukemia, embodying the firm’s motto – “The strong arm of the law”. To find out more about the John Foy & Associates Strong Arm Leukemia Scholarship, including detailed eligibility criteria and application deadlines, interested individuals are encouraged to visit the official John Foy & Associates website.

4. The Northwestern Mutual Scholarship for Siblings Program

Northwestern Mutual, in collaboration with Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation, offers a unique scholarship program specifically for siblings of children diagnosed with cancer. The program acknowledges the emotional and financial strain a family experiences when a child is diagnosed with cancer and aims to support the educational aspirations of the siblings.

This scholarship offers up to $5,000 to the selected applicants, supporting them in their pursuit of an undergraduate degree. Eligible candidates must be between the ages of 18 to 35 and have a brother or sister who is a current or past patient of cancer.

The application process for the Northwestern Mutual Scholarship for Siblings Program is comprehensive, requiring the submission of academic transcripts, a personal essay articulating the impact of their sibling’s cancer journey on their lives, and letters of recommendation.

Recipients are chosen based on their demonstrated resilience in the face of adversity, academic achievements, and the compelling nature of their personal essay. The scholarship serves as a testament to the resilience and strength of these individuals, honoring their unique journey and supporting their academic pursuits. For more detailed information on eligibility, the application process, and deadlines, individuals are encouraged to visit the official Northwestern Mutual website.

Dealing with a disability or a life-threatening disease should not hinder one’s pursuit of education and personal growth. A myriad of resources, including scholarships, grants, and vocational training programs, are available to support individuals in their academic journey. From the Patient Advocate Foundation’s Scholarships for Survivors to the Ulman Foundation Scholarships, and the John Foy & Associates Strong Arm Leukemia Scholarship; these programs strive to alleviate the financial burden of education and empower individuals to reach their full potential. Explore these resources today and take a step closer to achieving your educational and career aspirations.

As you navigate life’s challenges, remember that your pursuit of education is a powerful testament to your resilience. Whether you are a cancer survivor, the sibling of a patient, or someone who has lost a loved one to this disease, know that there are resources designed specifically to support you. Scholarships like those offered by the Ulman Foundation, John Foy & Associates, and Northwestern Mutual, recognize your courage and are committed to helping you achieve your academic aspirations. Remember, these scholarships are more than just financial aid – they are a stepping stone to your future. So, explore these opportunities, step forward with determination, and let nothing stand in the way of your educational journey. You have already shown immense strength in the face of adversity, and this is yet another challenge you are more than capable of overcoming.

Even More Scholarship Programs

For additional scholarship programs specifically designed for cancer patients and their families, please visit the Cancer Care News nation’s directory. This resource offers a comprehensive list of scholarships and programs dedicated to supporting individuals and families affected by cancer in their pursuit of education. Access the directory at here . Explore these opportunities and find the support you need to continue your educational journey. ❤️

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Cornell Community Cancer Partnership

Connecting cancer researchers with the local community, advice for college students with a parent with cancer.

There are thousands of college students in Ithaca and quite a few have a parent living with cancer. They often wonder how they can help their parent, and their parent often worries about them. Here are some suggestions:

For the college student:

  • Educate yourself about your parent’s cancer. Some cancers are likely to be temporary disruptions, while others are truly life-changing. You’ll be more helpful if you have a basic understanding of your parent’s specific cancer.
  • Don’t be afraid of asking questions. What we imagine is almost always worse than the reality.
  • Don’t drift away. Communicate on a regular basis. Your concern and your love come through by staying in touch.
  • Find someone that you can talk to about your parent’s illness. It can be a sibling, a friend, a counselor, or someone else. You probably don’t want advice, but you will want someone to listen to you without judgment and without interruption.
  • Live your life as normally as possible. The last thing most parents want to do is disrupt your life.

For the parent:

  • Be honest. There’s a tendency to want to sugarcoat bad news. It’s better to be truthful. Your children don’t want to wonder if you’re telling them the whole truth.
  • Don’t depend on your child as your primary source of emotional support.
  • Encourage your child to enjoy college. It’s a wonderful opportunity to explore and to mature.

With cancer, there’s almost always some degree of uncertainty. No one knows for sure how an individual will respond to treatment or how their disease will behave in the future. Sometimes the most reasonable course of action is for everyone to assume the best and to continue to move forward. If thing do change, keep everyone informed and in the loop. Above all, communicate frequently and honestly.

Reprinted from When Your Life is Touched by Cancer: Practical Advice and Insights for Patients, Professionals and Those Who Care .

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Teen's Harvard admission essay about losing a parent to cancer goes viral

The high school senior detailed her experience with loss and how it ultimately led her to discover her passions.

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U.S. Army Combat Veteran Adam Roosevelt provides insight on ‘Fox and Friends.’

A video of a soon-to-be Harvard freshman sharing her admissions essay that details her experience with losing a parent has gone viral.

Brockton, Massachusetts native Abigail Mack, 18, shared her heartfelt story about losing a parent to cancer, explaining how the letter "s" has been a reminder of her loss and how she’s used her grief as fuel to excel in extracurricular activities and ultimately find her passion,  Buzzfeed News first reported.  

"I hate the letter 'S,'" Mack's college admission essay starts. "Of the 164,777 words with 'S,' I only grapple with one. To condemn an entire letter because of its use .0006 percent of the time sounds statistically absurd, but that one case changed 100 percent of my life. I used to have two parents, but now I have one, and the 'S' in 'parents' isn't going anywhere." 

college essay about parent with cancer

A video of a soon-to-be Harvard freshman sharing her admissions essay that details her experience with losing a parent has gone viral. (iStock)

Mack noted that even while she wrote her college essay the word "parent" was highlighted in blue, a symbol to check her grammar by the tool Grammarly, which, she says "assumes that I should have parents, but cancer doesn’t listen to edit suggestions."

MISSING UTAH WOMAN FOUND LIVING IN A NATIONAL FOREST REPORTEDLY WANTED 'SOLITUDE AND ISOLATION'

@a_vmack The Common App Essay that got me into Harvard #harvard #ShadowAndBone #SkipTheRinse #college #loss #singleparent #fyp ♬ original sound - Abigail Mack

Mack’s essay details how she tried to distract herself from the thought of losing her mother – and all of the plural words with the letter "S" that reminded her of her loss – by signing up for clubs and extracurricular activities.

"You can’t have dinner with your parent … if you’re too busy to have family dinner," she said, adding that she couldn’t fill the loss but that she could take control of her schedule and how she chose to fill her time.

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Then, she started taking note of what she really enjoyed doing, taking an interest in art and politics outside of just keeping busy to distract herself from feeling sad.

The teen’s story about living with grief garnered a slew of comments from teens who resonated with her experience. 

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"As a fellow Havard student who also had a parent die to cancer when I was young, this is beautiful. And WELCOME!! I can’t wait to meet you," one TikTok user commented as reported by BuzzFeed.

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When Your Parent Has Cancer: A Guide for Teens

college essay about parent with cancer

This guide is for young people who have a parent with cancer. You are not alone. Find out what has helped other teens get through this tough time.

Use this guide to get information and advice on:

  • Ways to deal with changes your family may go through
  • Dealing with stress
  • Finding support and talking with your friends
  • How you can help yourself and your parent
  • Cancer, treatments, and side effects
  • Life after treatment and the road ahead
  • Additional resources and organizations

Tested and developed with advice from teens, this guide includes quotes from teens who have a parent with cancer, checklists to help you get support from others, and a section of related organizations and resources.  

The information in this booklet was last updated in February 2012.

Will writing about mom dying of cancer help me with admissions?

<p>Wrote about my mom dying of cancer in my essay- written very well. Talked about the day i found out and they day after I went back to school to show dedication…will it help me a lot?</p>

<p>I have a 3.85 gpa with AP and 1780 SAT with lots of Extra credits.</p>

<p>First, I am sorry about your mom. However to use it as a hope that it will help you with admission strikes me as very cold. First an formost I would comfort my mom as much as could during her last days, college admissions would be the last thing on my mind.</p>

<p>I don’t understand how it is ‘showing dedication’ by going to school after your mother was diagnosed. It shows to me that you aren’t very close with your mother.</p>

<p>^ I felt the same way, using such a thing in the hopes of helping with admissions seems a bit cold. Writing about it is of course common, and can be a good idea if it reveals a lot about your personality and life, but the title of this thread just shocked me a bit.</p>

<p>No, and in fact it’s probably overused.</p>

<p>I don’t want to sound mean – and I am sorry about your mom – but enough is enough with these sob stories as essays. Do you know how many kids write sob stories to try to gain sympathy from the admissions officer? </p>

<p>It seems like everyone wants to write a sob story these days to have people feel sorry for them. Here’s the truth of the matter… we all go through tough times and our lives where we wanna just be alone and cry. You’re not any different from the rest of us. </p>

<p>I read my friend’s essay where he said he was overwhelmed with peer pressure about doing drugs and how he was able to say no and overcome everything… I’m thinking to myself. Really? You’re the only teenager in the world that has to deal with this?</p>

<p>Either way, I don’t think essays make or break you to be honest until the essay is really bad or really good.</p>

<p>If we’re going to talk about effectiveness, omitting the cold nature of this question, I’d say choose something else to write on, because indeed the “sob stories” are overdone if they are not written in an extremely original and creative way.</p>

<p>First of all, how dare anyone say me and my mom weren’t close. How could someone say I’m cold when they don’t know me? And thanks she died 6 years ago- I wouldn’t even think about college admissions if it was now. However it was only a question- I have recently heard that sob stories give you advantages. But I didn’t believe it. I hope all of you have a good day, oh no wait I dont</p>

<p>I wouldn’t of wrote it if the ESSAY QUESTION was describe a personal hard time that you had to get thru, and how did you get thru it.</p>

<p>No one said that directly that you were cold, I for example merely said that your post seemed cold. And it does. The title as I said is simply a bit shocking imo.</p>

<p>Anyways, if that’s your essay prompt, then it seems appropriate for you to write about this event, just try not to be sappy and over-dramatic, be sure to focus on the positives that came out of the experience, and perhaps how they can relate to your college experience.</p>

<p>OP, You certainly can write about challenges and hardships including something like the loss of a parent at a young age. The posters on this thread have no idea what you have gone through and continue to go through and that is obvious by their posts. If you have had academic success, despite your difficult circumstance, which the majority of your peers can only attempt to imagine, colleges most definitely want to know that.</p>

<p>^ It’s interesting that you assume that, we could easily have experienced the same exact thing, or a similar loss, and simply not said so. Anyhow, I didn’t mean to be disrespectful to anyone, I was only shocked at first, and then wanting to give my honest opinion.</p>

<p>^ Yes I do assume that and I doubt I am incorrect. Nina, your post is not offensive. However, some others are.</p>

<p>mtollen – firstly i’m very sorry about your mom. i also lost my mom almost two years ago and I wrote a few essays about the whole process of that death and overcoming that. i think that, if done correctly, it can be very effective. i felt like these events were extremely important in shaping who i am, so i can’t imagine not mentioning it all in my application (other than the parent info section). i agree that some of the posters here probably have no idea what it’s like to go through something like that and how much of an accomplishment it is to maintain a good GPA through something like that, like you have. if you focus on your growth through/because of the loss and not just the loss i think it could be very good and certainly not cliche or overused.</p>

<p>I’m very sorry for your loss.</p>

<p>I’ve read excellent essays about loss. It was not the loss itself, though, that made for an excellent essay. Colleges will not accept you out of pity. </p>

<p>However, the topic of loss could still be a good topic for you. Whatever topic allows you to write your most personal, detailed, specific, and revealing essay–ideally, the one so much like you that no one else could write it–will be a good topic for you.</p>

<p>Obviously a sensitive topic. I have not experienced that type of grief and its a very touchy subject that can strike the right cords for the reader for the right reasons. The topic can never be over played. </p>

<p>Now I want to Direct this to @Adad . you say most personal, detailed, specific, and revealing essay. so much like you that no one else could write about. I feel that could be so risky from my position. I will pm you</p>

<p>I am sorry for the OP’s loss, as well. But to the OP and to those who would chide other posters for being insensitive: Surely you can imagine why the question, “Will it help me a lot?” is a little shocking? We have all lost people in our lives. The OP asked a leading question. Presumably he or she wanted an answer and could have predicted that the post would elicit a range of responses. Speaking for myself, I got the impression the OP wrote the essay hoping to sway people with the subject matter. Maybe that’s not the case, but the post certainly left me wondering about the OP’s motivations. Regardless of the topic, a good essay will help in some instances more than it will help in others. It is not likely to tip the balance at a school where the applicant’s stats make him or her marginal. If the adcom is on the fence, a good essay could make a difference.</p>

<p>absweetmarie, Considering OP’s age and circumstance I am not going to judge his word choice or assume his motivation, which is something only he knows. Is it so terrible to consider the question after having lived through the loss of your mother at the age of 10 or 11? I don’t think so. I hesitate to judge that. As for coldness, what strikes me as cold is some of the replies to OP thinking Mother had recently (or even not so recently) died or had been recently diagnosed.</p>

<p>No it will not help. It will not give you an advantage like an extracurricular activity or a job. It reveals a part of your life. It shows them your experiences and who you are. That is how it will help. But it will not account for low SATs for a reach school just because they feel bad for you.</p>

<p>If anything, depending on the way you write about it, it may hurt you. Many students write about how they suffered with cancer or some medical issue and hope it will explain why they got low grades, but most of the times it comes off to the officer as an excuse. </p>

<p>Write about how it impacted you and then made you stronger and more dedicated to achieve a great education to make her proud. Don’t only write about how depressed you were and how it started to effect your concentration and grades.</p>

<p>mtollen- think about why the college is asking the question, and try to answer it from that point of view. Colleges ask questions to try to get to know who you are, and how you write. So, if your mom’s death is the most difficult thing (which it likely is), then that would be appropriate. But consider your real reasons for returning to school the next day. And when you are writing, make sure it does not turn into a poor poor pitiful me essay. I am not being mean, just going by some of the other essays I have read/heard about. I do feel for you for your loss - and really am not trying to be heartless! </p>

<p>I really doubt that you returned to school the day after your mom’s death because of dedication. The admiss. folks will doubt that too. Again- I am not being mean saying that. No one looses someone close to them and then just returns to school/work because of dedication. </p>

<p>But there are a miriad of other reasons that you may have returned to school. Comfort in a regular routine/schedule? Comfort around friends, or the need to be away from the house and the discomfort there? Denial? Not knowing what else to do and having a sense of loss of control? Not being able to handle the emotions of others around you? </p>

<p>Try to dig deeper than the “because I was dedicated” line. Then write about that. About what returning to school offered you. Was it your friends, the routine, familiar surroundings, knowing life when on, even a distraction…whatever gave you the comfort you needed to get through the experience. </p>

<p>As you write, try to write it from a how you grew as a person, and how you learned about yourself point of view. Try to make the content positive, even though the basic story is sad. </p>

<p>Hope that may help you look at the essay and how to approach it a little bit.</p>

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Holes – A Survivor’s College Essay

college essay about parent with cancer

One year ago, Matthew Buff, a leukemia survivor, was fine-tuning his college applications. Today, he is a busy freshman at Emory University majoring in biology on a pre-med track. Matthew's personal goal is to become a pediatric oncologist focused on genetic research. The following is his college admissions essay. 

A round piece of silicone wrapped in a metal ring about the size of a quarter. If you tip it slightly, at just the right angle, where it catches the light, you would see hundreds of tiny holes covering the entirety of its surface. A miniature vacated battlefield of a war once won. It may not look like much to most people, but this tiny piece of plastic riddled with needle holes called a port or port-a-cath, helped to save my life and is now my visual inspiration to help others.

In the beginning, each hole could have easily represented another round of chemotherapy, spinal tap, blood transfusion, hospitalization, surgery or enrollment into a new study to treat my leukemia. They could also represent another day unable to attend school, each time being isolated from friends, and too many middle-of-the-night trips to the emergency room that would ultimately lead to another round of pokes, tests and abruptly waking to the beeping alarm of my IV pole early the next morning.

However, as my body has recuperated over the past five years since completing cancer treatment, the meaning of each hole has also transformed. Each hole now represents a lesson learned, a person met through my experience and the opportunity to make impactful change or people affected by catastrophic illness.

My parents and doctors have always encouraged me to not let my experience with cancer define me. I believe I have done a good job of incorporating that into my daily life, relationships and pursued interests. However, as I have matured and started to gain new experiences in life, I have chosen to reconnect with my past and allow it to acutely influence my perspective. I can’t help but to see the world from a slightly different angle than my peers after experiencing the delicateness and resiliency of life by age 12. I no longer view those years in and out of the hospital as negative, but a gift to help shape my abilities and sharpen my purpose.

From a very young age, I’ve learned to be an advocate for myself, to be an effective communicator, how to endure and thrive through challenges, become a capable and independent learner and find joy in contributing back to the community that surrounded me during my time of need. I want to now expand on those experiences and create new and meaningful relationships within the college environment that will continue to mold how I see the world and my future contributions within it.

I want to bravely explore other “holes” people have endured within their own lives, sit with them, and begin to find ways to alleviate their struggles through the commonalities of the human experience. If we can appreciate our differences, yet focus on what connects us, I believe there would be more peace in the world and fewer opportunities for any kind of pain and suffering. Empathy and compassion, in combination with technology and research, has the potential to redefine health and care. I intend for my experience and knowledge to be part of this progress.

My current objective is to build my college education with a concentration in biology and life sciences with the goal to become a research oncologist. Beyond my academic interest in those areas, I believe shifting my experiences from patient or receiver of care, to student of science with the intent to deliver care, will provide me the knowledge and holistic perspective to begin to develop the passion and endurance necessary to make a life-long commitment to healing through medicine.

We can’t always choose the experiences that shape us into who we are meant to be, but we can utilize them to empower ourselves, inspire each other and help others. Holes don’t have to be permanent; they can be the necessary foundation to begin to build something important and meaningful. We must be willing to excavate our own comfort, take risk, overcome challenges, plant new footings and create solutions to fill the gaps that are exposed in both our own lives, and in the lives of the people around us. Sometimes, if we look at things from a slightly different angle, like when the light reflects off my port, we can find new solutions to effectively and completely fill each new hole.

Written by Matthew Buff   Matthew was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia in March 2009. Now six years beyond treatment, he is a college student working towards his goal of becoming a pediatric oncologist focused on genetic research. 

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Children and young adults with parents with cancer: a population-based study

1 Cancer Registry of Norway, Oslo, Norway

Gjøril B Aas

2 Oslo University Hospital, Oslo, Norway

3 University of Oslo, Oslo, Norway

Video abstract

Today many people are choosing to have children later in life. Additionally, the use of sophisticated diagnostic tools and screening modalities has increased over recent years. Because of these factors, cancer is being diagnosed more frequently during the child-rearing years. Sociodemographic and cancer-related information on families and minor (0–18 years) and young adult (YA) (19–25 years) children experiencing parental cancer is scarce, but this information is vital for healthcare initiatives aimed toward those potentially adversely affected. Therefore, the aim of this study was to describe features of families and minor and YA children affected by parental cancer in a nationwide population.

Complete Norwegian birth cohort data were obtained from national registries. Descriptive prevalence and incidence statistics were collected for parents and minor and YA children. Logistic regression models were used to assess factors likely to influence parental death.

Every year around 0.3% of all families with children under the age of 18 years encounter parental cancer, and 3.1% of minors and 8.4% of YAs have a parent who has been diagnosed with cancer. This study found skin, breast, testicular, and colorectal cancers were the most common forms of cancer diagnosed. The sociodemographic features of those affected were fairly similar to those of the general population. One in five children experienced parental death from cancer; parental death was more often paternal than maternal and was most common in parents diagnosed with leukemia or brain, colorectal, and lung tumors. Deaths are uncommon among parents without cancer.

Adequate assistance for minor and YA children affected by parental cancer requires knowledge of their number and characteristics. Parental cancer is more common than previously suggested: the annual incidence of parental cancer for children under 18 years of age is 0.3%, whereas approximately 4% of children aged 0–25 years have or have had parents diagnosed with cancer, corresponding to a population prevalence of 1.4%. Around 20% of these children experience parental death, and surveys of live respondents should account for this.

Introduction

Cancer survivors may face psychological, physical, social, and economic challenges as a consequence of their illness or treatment. 1 About one-third of cancer patients are diagnosed at an age when they may possibly be caring for children – minor (0–18 years) and/or young adult (YA) (19–25 years) children 2 – and this means entire families can be affected by cancer. 3 , 4 Children of parents affected by cancer are at risk for emotional and behavioral problems, although the majority cope well and are unlikely to develop such problems. 5 The child’s age, their stage of psychological development at the time of diagnosis and disease, and family characteristics modify the psychological burden of a parent’s cancer upon the child. 6 Still, up to 25% of children experiencing severe parental illness will experience lowered and/or anxious mood, sleep problems, poor concentration, or difficulties at school. 7 In worst-case scenarios, severe parental illness may cause profound trauma with consequences for later psychosocial functioning.

Consequences of parental cancer have been shown to vary across cancer disease characteristics and by the role, age, and gender of the diagnosed parent. 5 , 6 , 8 – 10 Reported discrepancies likely reflect the diversity of families that encounter parental cancer: the economic situation, employment status, and marital status of parents, as well as the number of children, place of residence, type of cancer, and prognosis, are all factors likely to mediate the impact of parental cancer upon their offspring. 5 , 11 , 12 The impact has been found to further differ depending on whether the respondent is the child or the parent in the situation. 9 , 13 Finally, observed differences may in part be a consequence of suboptimal reliability and validity of the instruments available to assess children’s coping abilities and needs. 5 , 11 , 12 , 14

In recent years, communication challenges within families and the provision of support programs for involved children have come under increased focus. 7 Still, many families’ needs are frequently unmet, and the effort to address the psychosocial aspects of living with parental cancer is recognized as being in its infancy. 15 As a first step, an assessment of the number and characteristics of affected children is important. Weaver et al 16 recently performed an assessment of these factors in the United States, using self-reported survey data with a response rate of around 70%. They used population weights to estimate that there are about 1.6 million cancer survivors residing with a total of about 2.9 million children under the age of 18 years in the United States today. 16 As Weaver et al 16 indicated, these numbers were estimated based upon self-reported data from one region only and the study lacked objective data, which may infer an underestimation of affected persons. Additionally, cancer types with short survival times were underrepresented and the study did not include children over 18 years of age. Estimates of the number of children experiencing parental death from cancer were not available, and calculations of incident cases, relevant for the shaping and development of services, were not performed. Therefore, Weaver et al 16 requested complementary data to confirm their findings, as an account of the children and families affected by parental cancer is important to guide health care services assisting those potentially adversely affected. With this as a background, the present authors have summarized registry information on families and minor and YA children affected by parental cancer and parental death from cancer at a national level, in total as well as on an annual basis, in Norway.

Cancer patients and their children were identified through the unique eleven-digit personal identification number assigned to all inhabitants of Norway from 1960 onward. The Norwegian National Population Register provided information on date of birth, date of death or migration, dates of changes in marital status, and dates of birth of all children. Information regarding the education level of the parents was obtained from the Norwegian Registry of Education, and the Norwegian Directorate of Taxes provided information on their employment and yearly gross labor incomes. The Cancer Registry of Norway has registered all cancer cases nationwide since 1953. Mandatory reporting from clinicians and pathologists and mandatory use of death certificates ensures complete and excellent-quality data. 17 The Cause of Death Registry provided cause of death data. Descriptive prevalence and incidence statistics were collated, and factors likely to influence parental death were assessed through logistic regression models.

Norway’s population was calculated at 4.7 million as of January 1, 2008. 18 Around 32% of the population aged between 17 and 70 years had at least one child under the age of 18 years, and 30% of the population aged between 35 and 70 years had at least one YA child (19–25 years of age). Persons with a history of cancer made up 4.3% and 3.3% of the female and male population, respectively. Of these, 80% were parents, but the majority of their children were older than the cut-off limit of 25 years of age. The present study included all persons 70 years or younger with children under the age of 26 years as of January 1, 2008; children were divided into two subgroups: minors and YAs. Next, two baseline prevalence cohorts were established: one comprised all minors in Norway as of January 1, 2008, and the other included all YAs. Prevalence analyses of sociodemographic characteristics (eg, age, gender, marital status, number of children, education level, and income) of parents and minor and YA children in families with and without parental cancer were undertaken, and parental disease (eg, cancer type, stage of cancer at diagnosis, and duration of illness) and death features were described in detail for the minor and YA children affected by parental cancer ( Tables 1 – 4 ). Logistic regression models were used to assess factors likely to influence parental death. From the two baseline prevalence cohorts, 2007 data on the incidence of parental cancer diagnoses and the number of minor and YA children affected and not affected, as well as sociodemographic characteristics of parents and minor and YA children, were extracted to obtain estimates of the annual number and percentage of children affected by parental cancer ( Table 5 ). All statistical analyses were performed using SAS software (v 9.2; SAS Institute Inc, Cary, NC). The statistical significance level was set at 5%.

Prevalence data on Norwegian children with parents with cancer: common parental cancer diagnoses, stage of cancer at diagnosis, and the age of the child at diagnosis, as of January 2008

Abbreviations: ICD-10, International Classification of Diseases, 10th edition; N/A, not applicable; y, years; YA, young adult.

Estimates from logistic regression models of characteristics impacting the likelihood of parental death from cancer among children with parents with cancer

Abbreviations: CI, confidence interval; N/A, not applicable; OR, odds ratio; SES, socioeconomic status; y, years; YA, young adult.

Incident characteristics of children with parents diagnosed with cancer (2007)

Abbreviations: N/A, not applicable; y, years; YA, young adult.

Scope of problem from a population perspective

In 2007 a total of 84,202 women aged between 17 and 70 years had or had previously had cancer. Of these women, 11,374 had 18,642 children aged 18 years or younger. The total for men aged between 17 and 70 years was 67,554, with 9469 of these men having 16,035 children aged 18 years or younger. Similarly, 13,450 women with cancer were parents of 17,623 YA children, whereas 10,568 men with cancer were parents of 13,969 YA children. The total number of minors in Norway with one or two parents with a history of cancer as of January 1, 2008, was thus 34,250, representing 3.1% of minors in Norway as of this date. The corresponding number of YAs was 30,796, representing 8.4% of YAs as of January 1, 2008. The total number of children aged between 0 and 25 years with a parent with a history of cancer was 65,046, corresponding to a population prevalence of 1.4%.

Altogether, 2075 families with 3481 children aged 18 years or younger experienced having a mother (56%) and/or a father (44%) diagnosed with cancer during 2007. This represents 0.3% of all families with minor children at one point in time, and is thus an estimate of the annual number of families affected, assuming stable birth and cancer incidence rates in the relevant age groups. The median age of the minor children was 8 years. A total of 2272 families with 2989 YA children were affected by parental cancer during 2007.

The number of minors who experienced parental death from cancer during 2007 was 665, which corresponds to an annual percentage of 1.9%. The percentage was somewhat higher for fathers than for mothers (2.0% versus 1.8%). The number of YAs who experienced parental death from cancer during 2007 was 805, corresponding to an overall percentage of 2.5% (3.1% for fathers versus 2.1% for mothers).

Impact on minors in Norway with a parent once diagnosed with cancer

Among the minors with a parent with (or with a history of) cancer in Norway, 54% had (or had previously had) a mother diagnosed with cancer and 47% had (or had previously had) a father diagnosed with cancer. A total of 33% of the minors with fathers with cancer and 23% of the minors with mothers with cancer were not yet born at the time of diagnosis ( Table 1 ). The most common cancers among these parents were lymphomas and skin, brain, testicular, and breast cancers. With the exception of brain tumors, the prognosis is generally good for these cancer forms. Nevertheless, a total of 4.8% of these children experienced parental death from cancer, although this percentage is low compared with the children who had been born before the diagnosis and had lost their parent to cancer.

The remaining 67% and 77% of children were born either at (4%) or before the time of their parent’s cancer diagnosis ( Table 1 ). The mean age of the minor children as of January 2008 was 12 years: 11 years if their father had cancer and 13 years if their mother had cancer. Their gender distribution was in line with the overall gender distribution in the population. More than half of the minors in Norway with a parent once diagnosed with cancer also had a parent diagnosed more than 5 years earlier. The most common maternal diagnoses experienced by minors were breast (27%), skin (17%), and cervical (13%) cancer, whereas the most common paternal diagnoses were testicular (25%), skin (15%), and colorectal (11%) cancer. The majority of parents were diagnosed with localized cancers.

One in seven minors with a parent once diagnosed with cancer had experienced parental death from cancer, whereas parental death is uncommon in the general population, being experienced by only about one in 300–400 ( Table 2 ). Parental death was more common when fathers had cancer, and the most lethal diagnoses among fathers were lung, colorectal, and brain tumors ( Tables 2 – 4 ). Among mothers, the most lethal diagnoses were lung, colorectal, soft tissue, and breast cancer. The highest death risks were observed for parents diagnosed with metastatic cancer. Parents of 427 minors (1.2%) were diagnosed with more than one cancer form, corresponding to around 4.5% of mothers and 3.5% of fathers with cancer, and their risk of death was slightly elevated ( Table 3 ).

Sociodemographic parental prevalence characteristics (as of January 2008) for children with and children without parents with cancer

Abbreviations: GP, general population; N/A, not applicable; y, years; YA, young adult.

Distribution of children with parents with cancer having experienced parental cancer death by January 2008, by parental cancer site and stage of cancer at diagnosis

Table 2 displays parental sociodemographic characteristics for minor and YA children with and without parents with cancer. The age distribution of the fathers with cancer spanned 20–63 years as of January 2008 (median 43.5 years). The age distribution of the mothers spanned 18–62 years (median 41.5 years). On average, parents with cancer were older than parents in the general population. A total of 31% of the parents had an education level no higher than a high school degree, but there was no difference in level of education between parents with and parents without cancer. Around 5.4% of the minors with mothers with cancer lived in households with annual incomes below the poverty margin defined by the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development. 19 The corresponding percentage for minors with fathers with cancer was 3.9%. The household income distribution for minor children did not change significantly if their mother had cancer or not, whereas minor children of fathers with cancer generally appeared to live in households with income levels below that of the general cancer-free population. The vast majority of minors had parents who were married (only 17% had parents who were separated, divorced, or widowed). Marriage was less common in the general cancer-free population. The minors with parents with a history of cancer had from zero to ten siblings, but most commonly one or two; the average number of siblings was 1.3. The percentage of children with no siblings was lower in the cancer cohort than in the general population.

Impact on YA children in Norway with a parent once diagnosed with cancer

Cancer is a disease that becomes more common with increasing age, and around 93% of the YA children in this study were born before the time of the diagnosis of parental cancer. Around half had parents diagnosed within the last 5 years ( Table 2 ). Maternal cancer was more prevalent than paternal cancer. The most common diagnoses in mothers were breast, cervical, and skin cancer, whereas diagnoses of colorectal, skin, prostate, and testicular cancer were frequent among fathers ( Table 1 ). Nearly half the parents had localized cancers at the time of diagnosis, but the percentage of patients where the stage was unknown was clearly higher for fathers than mothers. One in four YAs with a parent once diagnosed with cancer had experienced parental death from cancer, whereas parental death is experienced by only one in 80 in the general population ( Table 4 ). Death from cancer was more common in fathers than in mothers, and the most lethal diagnoses were lung and colorectal cancer. As expected, the highest probabilities of death were observed for parents diagnosed with metastatic cancer ( Tables 3 and ​ and4). 4 ). A total of 796 YAs (2.6%) had parents diagnosed with two or more cancer forms (5.8% of mothers and 4.8% of fathers), and the risk of death for these parents was elevated.

Table 2 displays parental sociodemographic characteristics for YAs with and without parents with cancer. The age distribution of the fathers with cancer spanned 21–70 years of age as of January 2008 (median 52.8 years), whereas for mothers the age range spanned 20–70 years (median 49.3 years). Parents with a history of cancer were significantly older, on average, than parents without cancer. Around 43% of the parents had an education level no higher than a high school degree – this is comparable with general population figures. However, a higher percentage of parents with cancer had education levels corresponding to a bachelor degree or higher. On average, earnings were somewhat lower for parents (regardless of gender) with cancer. The majority of parents with cancer were married (71%), and this figure is comparable with that for parents without cancer. The number of siblings for YA children ranged from zero to twelve, but they most commonly had one or two; the average number of siblings was 1.1. The gender distribution of YAs was fairly equal, and their median age as of January 2008 was 21 years.

Annual impact of parental cancer on minor and YA children

Altogether, 2075 families with 3481 children aged 18 years or younger experienced having the mother (56%) and/or the father (44%) diagnosed with cancer during 2007. The most common parental cancer diagnoses were breast, prostate, colorectal, skin, cervical, and testicular cancer, and the majority of cancers were localized ( Table 5 ). A total of 7% of minors experienced maternal cancer diagnosis and maternal death from cancer during the same year, whereas the total for the children of fathers with cancer was 13%. Altogether, 2272 families with 2989 YA children were affected, and the corresponding figures for cancer diagnosis and death from cancer within 1 year were 11% and 17%, respectively.

The size of the families varied, from one parent and one child through to two parents and eleven children, but the two-parent family with two to three children was the most common (60%), comparable with general population figures. Nearly 60% of the parents were married, and 20% were widowed, divorced, and/or separated adults, in line with general population estimates.

This nationwide study shows that the annual incidence of parental cancer for minors is 0.3%. At any one point in time, approximately 3% of minors and 8% of YA children have or have had parents once diagnosed with cancer, corresponding to a population prevalence of 1.4%.

Influential sociodemographic factors and existing research

The vast majority of minor and YA children have taken part in a parent’s cancer journey, and are likely influenced by and involved in their parent’s illness and treatment. 11 , 15 , 20 Around 16% of the minor and YA children had not yet been born at the time of their parent’s diagnosis. These children were less likely to be affected by parental cancer, although long-term or late effects may be present in future years; additionally, fear of recurrence may influence family life. Five percent of these children lost their parent to cancer; however, this percentage is low compared with the children who had been born before the diagnosis and had lost their parent to cancer.

The demographic and socioeconomic characteristics of parents with and parents without cancer were fairly similar with respect to marital status and number of children. This was expected, as cancer has only a modest effect on parental marriage or divorce probabilities, 21 , 22 and although the likelihood of parenthood is reduced after cancer, 23 the majority of cancer survivors have completed their childbearing by the time of diagnosis. Compared with general population figures, a higher percentage of parents with cancer had earned a bachelor’s degree or higher. This may make the children of these parents less at risk than the children of parents with other chronic diseases more closely associated with lower levels of education, as education has been shown to increase health literacy and to facilitate open dialogues. 24 – 26 An understanding of the health and welfare systems may help navigation and thus improve coping and reduce stress, benefitting the children involved. However, incomes were on average lower for parents with cancer. This may reflect the older average age of the parents with cancer and thus the probability of being retired. 27 However, it may also reflect work limitations associated with cancer. 27 , 28 Although single parents, most commonly mothers, make up only a small proportion (5%–10%) of parents in Norway, their children may be particularly vulnerable, 29 and research targeting this specific subgroup may be warranted.

Some studies report adverse consequences for children affected by parental cancer, and the children’s age and gender has been found to influence the type and degree of problems they experience. 6 , 9 , 13 However, other studies do not report significant adverse consequences for children. 3 , 30 Younger children may not fully comprehend the significance of parental cancer, and thus they may be less affected emotionally than older minors and YAs. 9 Older siblings may support one another, but they may also experience a role shift if they need to assist more with household chores and/or assist with care of the ill parent. 8 How this influences the children and parents involved is debatable, but studies report both positive and negative consequences. 5 , 8 , 11 , 12 , 31

Between one in seven and one in four minor and YA children with parents with a history of cancer experience parental death, whereas parental death is uncommon in the general population. Children experience maternal cancer more often than paternal cancer, but they are more likely to lose a father than a mother to cancer. Studies on how families and minor and YA children cope with terminal care and parental death suggest that parents tend to underestimate the adverse consequences as they are perceived by the children involved, and that open communication and maintaining “normality” are important strategies for optimizing family functioning. 32 , 33 Several studies report that the gender of the parent with cancer has implications for the psychosocial and emotional outcomes of the children involved. Most studies suggest that children respond worse to maternal than paternal cancer, 13 , 34 , 35 perhaps in line with traditional caregiver roles. However, one study reports that the consequences are worse for children of fathers with cancer – this may reflect the poorer prognosis for fathers. 6 The gender of the children involved is also reported to affect the prevalence and severity of problems reported. 5 , 11 As the gender distribution of children is fairly equal and as it is similar for parents with and parents without cancer, the authors do not discuss this further here.

The authors’ main findings on minor children of cancer survivors are in accordance with US estimates from Weaver et al, 16 but the current authors present more detailed data on stage at diagnosis and death, and information on YA children is also included. Nonetheless, some important differences are notable: around 54% of the minors who had a parent with a history of cancer had experienced maternal cancer in the current study, whereas this was observed for 79% of the children in Weaver et al’s study. 16 These differences may be explained in part by the relatively high lethality of paternal cancer, as only living parents were included in the US study. 16 Selection and/or information bias may also have affected the US survey estimates. 36 Women have been found more likely to respond to surveys and to underreport their cancer diagnosis less frequently than men. 37 , 38 Nonetheless, the observed discrepancy underscores the need to confirm survey findings by using additional data sources and the importance of undertaking studies across different cultures.

Generalizability of implications of findings

Data on the entire Norwegian population of minor and YA children as of January 2008 has been utilized, and no earlier investigation has employed such detailed material on such a large scale. The use of national registry data minimizes bias, and the accuracy of population-based estimates resulting from survey data has thus been addressed. Furthermore, the results may be of general interest, as Norwegian cancer incidence and mortality trends and general family behaviors are comparable with those of other developed countries, including the United States. 2 , 18 , 39 However, Norway is a welfare state, and cancer care is available to all, free of charge. In addition, multiple welfare benefits are endorsed to compensate for declines in earnings. This implies that comparisons of the possible influence of sociodemographic factors are more difficult cross-culturally. However, it seems likely that findings may apply to countries with similar health and welfare options (eg, Canada and other Nordic and Western European countries).

As the data for this study are linked through the children, only the individual and combined characteristics of mothers and fathers can be addressed, not the family as a system per se. Knowledge of actual household members would have improved the estimate of, for instance, the impact of marital status and earnings. It would also have facilitated a better comparison with the existing US population estimates. 16

Many of the factors useful in assessing needs and planning interventions to assist affected families have been assessed in a complete national population, and the authors have further shown that survey data may underestimate the number of children affected by parental cancer, as parental death, especially of fathers, is a relatively common phenomenon. In January 2010, a Norwegian law was implemented mandating minor children of severely ill parents be included as targets for support within the national health care system. 40 The white papers preceding the law specifically mentioned cancer as one of several illnesses covered, and Norwegian cancer care is now obliged to provide services to assess the presence of minor children, assess their needs, and initiate interventions. 41 , 42 Oncologic departments have been required to dedicate one specific health care practitioner to ensuring the presence of minor children is documented in cancer patients’ journals and that the needs of involved children are assessed. 1 This health practitioner is further obligated by law to contact social services or other relevant personnel if deemed necessary, irrespective of parental consent. 40

Around 8% of YAs have or have had a parent diagnosed with cancer, corresponding to a population prevalence of 1.4%. To the best of the authors’ knowledge, this study is the first to contribute detailed information of YA children afflicted by parental cancer. Although YAs are independent in the legal sense, many nonetheless depend on parental support – physically, psychologically, socially, and economically. 43 This dependence may alter when a parent is diagnosed with cancer, and caregiver burdens may in some cases also be reversed. 44 – 46 From a health care perspective, the needs of and follow-up required for YA children in transitional phases will perhaps be different than for minor children, and research to address this difference is warranted.

Finally, information that has not been available previously on cancer prognosis and death from cancer has now been provided. Death is the most serious and dreaded consequence of parental cancer for the minor and YA children involved, 5 , 11 and knowledge of the risk of parental death is useful when interacting with children and their parents in cases of parental cancer.

The annual incidence of parental cancer for minor children was 0.3%, whereas the prevalence of having or having had a parent with cancer was 3% among minor children and 8% among YA children, corresponding to a population prevalence of 1.4%. The most common diagnoses experienced by minor and YA children were skin, breast, testicular, and colorectal cancer; this distribution differs somewhat from the cancer distribution in the general population because of the age distribution of parents. 2 One in five minor and YA children experience parental death from cancer – lung, colorectal, and brain tumors are most lethal. The proportion of children affected by cancer remains similar regardless of whether it is the mother or the father with cancer, but children are much more likely to experience paternal than maternal death. With this as the history, surveys of live respondents likely underestimate the number of children affected by parental cancer, especially fathers.

Adequate assistance for minor and YA children affected by parental cancer requires knowledge of their number and characteristics, as well as the characteristics of their parents. In recent years, communication challenges within families and the provision of support programs for involved children have come under increased focus. 7 Nevertheless, many families’ needs are frequently unmet, and the effort to address the psychosocial aspects of living with parental cancer is recognized as being in its infancy. 15 Changes in the Norwegian Health Personnel Law in effect from January 2010 mandate health practitioner assessment of the presence of children when adults are diagnosed with cancer, assessment of the needs of involved children, and instigation of interventions to meet the needs of these children. 40 – 42 This study has provided information at a population level to aid in this work, and the knowledge gained may thus help to understand what is required for the adequate assessment of needs and the proper assistance and follow-up of potentially vulnerable children experiencing parental cancer, particularly those facing parental death.

Acknowledgment

This research was supported by a grant from the Norwegian Research Council.

The authors report no conflicts of interest in this work.

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Financial Aid & College Scholarships for Cancer Survivors

College is an exciting time of life filled with new experiences, knowledge, and relationships. Although it is expensive, childhood cancer patients and survivors have several college scholarship and financial aid options.

Many organizations provide scholarships for cancer patients and survivors. In addition, there are financial aid opportunities available for people with certain disabilities.

Some scholarships are available for family members of cancer patients. Be sure to check the application criteria for all scholarships.

Many organizations provide scholarships for cancer patients and survivors. In addition, there are financial aid opportunities available for people with certain disabilities.

Tips for successful scholarship applications

  • Every scholarship is different. Read the application and the organization’s website carefully. Note the application deadline as well as contact information, application requirements, and ability to renew the scholarship each year. Don’t miss an opportunity because of a simple mistake.
  • In general, applicants must provide a letter from a doctor stating the original diagnosis and the age the patient began treatment. Allow the doctor plenty of time to write the letter.
  • Some applications may also request letters of reference from teachers, coaches, or employers. Ask these people in advance. Don’t wait until the last minute.

Every scholarship is different. Read the application and the organization’s website carefully.

Every scholarship is different. Read the application and the organization’s website carefully.

Scholarship essay tips

Many scholarship applications require an essay. Some will ask the same types of essay questions. You may be able to tweak an essay written for one scholarship to meet requirements for other applications.

Make sure to have someone knowledgeable about writing and grammar proofread your application and essay.

List of scholarships for cancer patients and survivors

The organizations that offer these scholarships are often funded by donations and endowments given in honor or in memory of other pediatric and young adult cancer patients.

Beyond the Cure

These scholarships are for childhood cancer survivors who have demonstrated the ability to overcome the difficult challenges of cancer with determination and motivation. Fifty-eight (58) $3,500 scholarships are awarded each academic year. The scholarship application period is from January – March of each calendar year.

Applicants must be:

  • A childhood cancer survivor under the age of 25
  • Diagnosed before the age of 18 with cancer or a high-grade or anaplastic brain tumor
  • A citizen of the United States living within the country and attending school in the U.S.
  • Accepted into a post-secondary school in the fall of the upcoming school year.

Visit the website for an application:

Beyond the Cure Ambassador Scholarship Program

Cancer for College

The website provides a number of different scholarship offers to different regions of the United States. Scholarship application period is November 1-January 31 each year. Applicants must be planning to attend a degree-earning program in the United States. Certain scholarships listed are relevant only for particular states. 

Applicants need:

  • Their parents’ tax return(s)
  • Their own personal tax return or proof of any income if they do not file a tax return
  • A letter of good standing from the university attending
  • 2 years of academic transcripts, confirmation of diagnosis letter
  • Confirmation of Diagnosis letter
  • A letter of recommendation from 1 person outside your family
  • Total annual cost of attendance

Cancer for College Scholarship Application

National Collegiate Cancer Foundation

This organization provides services and support to young adults whose lives have been impacted by cancer and who have continued with their education throughout treatment or after their treatment. Each award is $1,000. Applications available in March. Deadline is May 15.

  • A young adult cancer survivor or current patient between the ages of 18-35. Exceptions are made for age 17 if entering college in the fall following application.
  • A U.S. citizen or permanent resident
  • Attending or planning to attend an accredited college, university or vocational institution in pursuit of an associate’s, bachelor’s, master’s, doctorate or certificate as of the fall following application

National Collegiate Cancer Foundation Scholarships

The Ortlieb Foundation

The foundation was created to honor cancer survivor Evan Ortleib, who was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin lymphoma at age 16. Scholarships are awarded twice each year (spring and fall) and are valued at $1,000 each. The submission deadline for the spring semester is December 15, and the deadline for the fall semester is June 15.

Eligibility requirements include:

  • Letter of cancer diagnosis and treatment of chemotherapy , radiation , or proton therapy from oncologist
  • Proof of enrollment in full-time study at a four-year college or university
  • Transcripts from high school or college
  • Standardized test scores (ACT or SAT)
  • 1040 tax documents from parents and self
  • 2 letters of recommendation from teachers, mentors, or employers
  • 250-word essay on academic and career goals

Ortlieb Foundation Scholarship Application

Ronald McDonald House Charities

The network of U.S. chapters, along with the global office of RMHC, offers scholarships to students in financial need who have demonstrated academic achievement, leadership, and community involvement. Since 1985, more than $56 million in scholarships have been awarded.

Scholarships are awarded by local RMHC chapters.

Find Your Local RMHC Chapter

The Ulman Fund for Young Adults

Scholarships available to young adults affected by cancer through their own diagnosis or through the diagnosis of a parent or sibling. Applicants must be between the ages of 15 and 39 during the time of diagnosis/treatment. Recipients will be awarded a total of $2,500 over two academic semesters, paid directly to the recipient’s school. Deadline is March 1.

Ulman Cancer Fund Scholarships

Scholarship databases

Finaid: the smartstudent guide to financial aid.

This page contains information about scholarships for cancer patients, cancer survivors, children of a cancer patient or survivor, students who lost a parent to cancer, and students pursuing careers in cancer treatment.

FinAid Scholarships

The Samfund

Grants and scholarships provided by the Samfund cover a wide range of post-treatment financial needs, such as (but not limited to): rent and mortgage assistance; health insurance premiums; car payments, insurance, and repairs; continuing education and loans; gym memberships; and mental health expenses. This group is no longer accepting applications for undergraduate tuition, as they have in the past, but rather is focusing on other school-related expenses. Applications open in the spring.

Applicants need to:

  • Be between the ages of 21 and 39
  • Either (1) finished active treatment with no evidence of disease, (2) completed one year of planned treatment and be in a stable condition, or (3) be receiving long-term hormonal or targeted therapy.

Samfund Cancer Survivor Grants

Scholarship resources for students with physical disabilities

San francisco state university disability resource center.

The Disability Programs and Resource Center at San Francisco State University has compiled a list of scholarships for students of various disabilities. A chart lists the organization offering the scholarship as well as general information and a link to each scholarship page.

SFSU Disability Resource Center Scholarships

University of Washington Disability Resource Page

The University of Washington has put together a page with tips on searching for funding for students with disabilities. In addition to links to sites offering scholarships, it also discusses other ways students might find information on funding, such as vocational rehab and other state programs. Scholarships are listed by type of disability.

Scholarships for vision-impaired students

American council of the blind (acb).

This organization offers scholarships to legally blind student going to technical, undergraduate, or graduate school.  Scholarships range from $1,500-$7,500. Application deadline is February 15.

American Council of the Blind Scholarships

American Foundation for the Blind (AFB)

The AFB offers multiple scholarships to legally blind students. Application deadline is April 1.

Descriptions of the scholarships, as well as the online application can be found at the above website.

American Foundation for the Blind Scholarship

Council of Citizens with Low Vision International – Fred Scheigert Scholarship

This program awards 3 students an individual prize of $3,000 to full-time college students with low vision. Applicants must meet visual acuity and academic guidelines. Scholarship guidelines, application, and vision certification are offered on the website from January 1 to March 15 of each year. The scholarship application must be completed online. Selected finalists will be required to complete a phone interview with committee members. Chosen winners are expected to attend an annual meeting in conjunction with the American Council of the Blind National Convention (usually in July).

CCLVI Scheigert Scholarship

National Federation of the Blind (NFB)

The NFB offers 30 scholarships to legally blind students each year, worth from $3,000 to $12,000. The winner must participate in the NFB national convention in July and all its scheduled scholarship program activities. Assistance is available for convention needs. Application due in March 31.

  • Legally blind in both eyes
  • A resident of the United States or Puerto Rico
  • Planning to attend postsecondary study in the United States

National Federation of the Blind Scholarship Program

Christian Record Services for the Blind

The Anne Lowe Scholarship is awarded to blind students based on academic achievement and citizenship. Applications must be submitted or postmarked by April 15.

Application information/requirements:

  • Currently registered as a full-time student in undergraduate studies at accredited college or university in the U.S.
  • Minimum 3.0 GPA
  • Written essay
  • 3 letters of recommendation from non-family members

Scholarship is distributed in two parts during the school year

Anne Lowe Scholarship — Christian Record Services for the Blind

Scholarships for hearing-impaired students

Sertoma – service to mankind.

This group offers scholarships to individuals with hearing impairments and communicative disorders. Scholarships are available in $1,000 amounts. Application deadline is May 1.

Qualifications:

  • Must have a minimum 40dB bilateral hearing loss, as evidenced on audiogram by an SRT & PTA of 40dB or greater in both ears
  • Must be a citizen of the U.S.
  • Must be pursuing a bachelor’s degree on a full-time basis at a college or university in the United States
  • Must have a minimum cumulative 3.2 GPA on a 4.0 unweighted scale
  • 2 letters of recommendation
  • High school and/or college transcript
  • Recent audiogram from a hearing health professional (must not be any older than two years)
  • Hearing loss on application must be verifiable from audiogram

Sertoma Scholarships

AG Bell College Scholarship Program

AG Bell Scholarships are for high-achieving students who have bilateral hearing loss that was diagnosed before age 4.

  • Must be using listening and spoken language as your primary communication mode
  • Must attend a mainstream university and working toward a four-year undergraduate degree or a graduate degree

Hydrocephalus

Hydrocephalus association.

Scholarships applicants must be  17 or older with hydrocephalus. The scholarship funds must be used for an educational purpose, including, but not limited to, a 2-year or 4-year college, a high school post-graduate year to prepare for college, technical or trade school, an accredited employment-training program, or a post–graduate program. Scholarships are $1,000 each.

Application opens in January and is due April 15.

Hydrocephalus Association’s Scholarship Program

Learning-disabled

National center for learning disabilities.

Scholarships are available for 2 graduating high school seniors with documented learning disabilities and/or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder who are pursuing postsecondary educatoin.

National Center for Learning Disabilities Scholarships

  • Epsilon Sigma Alpha (ESA)
  • Sallie Mae Student Loans
  • Federal Student Aid
  • Financial Aid Scholarships

— Together does not endorse any branded product mentioned in this article.

— Reviewed: February 2020

College Classroom Accommodations

College and trade schools likely have services to help you when you need academic or physical accommodations for cancer-related problems. Sometimes cancer and treatment side effects can affect thinking and learning skills or your ability to get around from place to place.

Keep Up with School

Cancer treatment and side effects will likely disrupt your regular school schedule. Find resources to help you make the most of your education.

ACT or SAT Accommodations

Cancer patients may qualify for accommodations on ACT and SAT tests. Accommodations are changes made to the regular testing environment to allow people with disabilities to demonstrate their true ability on tests.

Bill Walton, Hall of Famer and UCLA legend, dies at age 71

college essay about parent with cancer

Basketball Hall of Famer Bill Walton, an all-time great champion in high school, college and the NBA, died Monday following a prolonged battle with cancer, the NBA announced .

He was 71 years old.

"Bill Walton was truly one of a kind," NBA commissioner Adam Silver said in a statement. "As a cherished member of the NBA family for 50 years, Bill will be deeply missed by all those who came to know and love him."

An American original, Walton led a remarkable life on and off the court, excelling in basketball and dabbling in the counterculture scene of the late 1960s and early 1970s. He remained connected to both throughout his life as basketball player and TV analyst and lifelong fan of the Grateful Dead, Bob Dylan and Neil Young.

At 6-11, he was one of the most skilled big men to play the game. He defended, rebounded, blocked shots, passed and scored. He averaged 13.3 points, 10.5 rebounds 3.4 assists and 2.2 blocks in 10 seasons and was robbed of prime years due to foot injuries. He missed the entire 1978-79, 1980-81 and 1981-82 seasons.

Remembering those we lost: Celebrity Deaths 2024

Walton packed an impressive résumé into the years he played despite the debilitating injuries. Following a standout career at UCLA where he won two NCAA titles under John Wooden, one of the great influences in his life, Walton became the No. 1 pick by the Portland Trail Blazers in the 1974 draft. He led the Blazers to the 1977 NBA championship, earning the Finals MVP. His stat line: 18.5 points, 19 rebounds, 5.2 assist and 3.7 blocks while shooting 54.5% in a six-game series against Philadelphia.

The next season, the league named him the regular-season MVP after averaging 18.9 points, 13.2 rebounds, 5.0 assists and 2.5 blocks.

As one of the best of his generation, he piled up the accolades. He was a two-time NBA champion, two-time All-Star, two-time All-NBA performer, two-time All-Defensive selection, the 1985-86 Sixth Man of the Year and named one of the NBA’s 75 greatest players.

Influenced by John Wooden, Grateful Dead

What he gathered from UCLA and Wooden, the NBA and the Celtics and the Grateful Dead and Dylan were woven into Walton’s life view.

He once wrote of Wooden: "While our practices were the most demanding endeavors that I’ve ever been a part of, so physically, emotionally, mentally and psychologically taxing, there is always the sense of joy, of celebration and of people having fun playing a simple game. Always positive, always constructive, John Wooden drives us in ways and directions that we are not aware of, always with the goal of making us better."

He combined Zen tranquility with a warrior’s spirit. He mixed with hippies and pro athletes. He delivered assists to Larry Bird and partied with Jerry Garcia, Bob Weir and Mickey Hart. He loved the music, the songs and he especially loved the lyrics. He pulled a line from the Dead’s Scarlet Begonias just as easily as he could recite a poignant line from Dylan’s Boots of Spanish Leather.

Known as Grateful Red, he attended hundreds of Dead shows, and in 1985, he took members of the Celtics, including Bird, Kevin McHale and Rick Carlisle, to a Grateful Dead concert in Worcester, Massachusetts.

"The Celtics and the Grateful Dead represent so much of everything I believe in, live for and try to do with my life," Walton told USA TODAY Sports in 2020 . “Because of the culture Red (Auerbach) had built, the Celtics were a family organization. The Grateful Dead, that’s a family as well. They both have the ability to inspire, encourage and to allow you to be you and to become something that is bigger and better and more important than you as an individual."

I once asked Walton what his favorite Dead song was, and with a mixture of incredulity and passion (but more passion), he answered, “all of them." In other words, whatever one he was listening to at the time. Living in the moment.

As announcer, he often took side roads – fantastical ramblings that sometimes bordered on the absurd and sometimes on the joyful. But that was Walton – off the beaten path.

Born in La Mesa, California in 1952 to Gloria Anne and William, Walton was one of four children. His parents encouraged participation in the arts. Walton enjoyed sports, too, and won high school basketball championships in 1969 and 1970.

A legend at UCLA: Two 30-0 seasons, NCAA titles

He attended UCLA and won two NCAA championships in 1972 and 1973, leading the Bruins to 30-0 records in consecutive seasons. He was the Most Outstanding Player in both Finals four, was a three-time national player of the year and a vital member of the Bruins' dynasty that captured 10 titles in 12 seasons. He also played a significant role in UCLA's 88-game winning streak.

Walton had four sons: Adam, Nathan, Luke and Chris, and when Luke won his second NBA title as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers, the Waltons became the first father-son duo to win at least two titles. His brother Bruce was also a standout athlete and played in college at UCLA and in the NFL for the Dallas Cowboys.

Walton stuttered, and he said it took until his late 20s before he became comfortable speaking in public. He said a random encounter with New York broadcaster Marty Glickman changed his life.

“That day, in a very brief, private conversation (one way, mind you, since I literally could not speak at the time) Marty explained, patiently and concisely, that talking, communicating was a skill not a gift or a birthright and that like any skill, whether it be sports, music, business or whatever, needed to be developed over a lifetime of hard work, discipline, organization and practice,” Walton wrote.

He also overcame a lifetime of injuries and pain. The injuries to his feet during his playing days became debilitating later in life and the back pain was excruciating. In his book, "Back From the Dead" Walton wrote, "I can’t do this anymore. It’s just too hard. It hurts too much. Why should I continue? What’s the point in going on? I have been down for so long, I have no idea which way anywhere is anymore. There’s no reason to believe tomorrow is going to be any better. If I had a gun, I would use it."

A spine surgery in 2009 relieved Walton of the pain that made living unbearable, and he cherished a less painful existence that allowed him to do the things he loved, like bicycling, announcing college basketball games and attending Dead shows.

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