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Live with your parents? Here's how to create a harmonious household

Felice León

Moving back in with your parents as an adult isn't an easy decision, but sometimes it's necessary. Maybe you need to save money. Maybe it's convenient. Maybe you're going through a tough time and need extra support from your parents.

Whatever the reason, it can be a challenge for everyone involved.

"The dynamics are incredibly different. You are now an adult living with other adults. So we have to get our parents to see you and treat you as an adult," says Stacey Younge , a social worker and founder of Sixth Street Wellness, a therapy practice in New York City. Younge works with adult clients who have struggled with the transition of moving in with their parents.

To create a harmonious household, says Younge, create boundaries with your parents while also respecting their space. "Make sure the setup is sustainable. How can we live our lives for the next few years with all of us being able to smile around the dinner table?"

If you feel ashamed about moving in with your parents, know that it's a common living arrangement for many young people across the United States. According to 2021 data from the U.S. Census Bureau, one in three American adults ages 18 to 34 live at home. And a 2022 study by the Pew Research Center found that young Americans are far more likely to live in multigenerational households than 50 years ago, with student debt and rising housing costs among the reasons why.

If you're considering moving in with your parents or already living with them, here are some ways to deal with the potential stigma, maintain independence and be a helpful member of the household.

Be kind to yourself

You might think that moving back home is a setback. But if you need to do it, give yourself some grace, says Danielle Belton. She has lived with her parents at two different points during adulthood. "Nobody wants to have to move back in with their parents after they've become an adult. You do it because you have to."

In 2007 at the age of 29, Belton decided to move in with her parents in St. Louis, then again in 2013. She was struggling with her bipolar disorder and could not focus on herself or her career. Belton needed the emotional and financial support of her parents.

They were a lifeline, she says. In addition to providing a roof over her head, they fed her and made sure she was safe. "My family saved my life. Going home allowed me to gain stability, save money, gain perspective and get the medical help that I needed so I could restart my career a couple of years later." She is now the editor-in-chief of The Huffington Post , and she has her own apartment in Brooklyn, N.Y.

Remember, this might be the best decision for you at this specific moment in time, says Belton. So "let go of the stigma of having to move back home after college or at any point in life. You should not feel ashamed of it."

Don't compare yourself to others

Resist the urge to focus on where your friends are in life — and surround yourself with people who understand what you're going through.

Kiersten Brydie, 29, currently lives with her parents in Atlanta. She moved back for financial reasons. By now, she thought she would have been married and a homeowner like many of her peers. "I'm in a very different place than [my friends]," she says. "So that has been a personal challenge for me."

To cope with those feelings, Brydie shares what it's like to live with her parents with her over 28,000 followers on TikTok. In one video , which has garnered nearly 100,000 views, she says, "The economy sucks and we are in a cost of living crisis ... living at home for me right now is a blessing."

Many of the comments are supportive. "I'm happy you had the option to go back home ... life is hard!" writes one commenter. "31 and about to do the same thing ... for the second time," writes another. She says her online community has helped her come to terms with her living situation — and understand that everyone moves at a different pace in life.

Consider This from NPR

When your parents are also your roommates.

Create your exit plan

After settling into your parents' house, make a game plan for how and when you hope to move out, says Younge, who lived at home for a few months after college. Your parents will probably want to know how long you intend to stay. And a plan may motivate you to keep reaching your goals.

Your plan should include personal, professional and financial aims. For example, maybe you want to stay with your parents until you've saved enough money for a down payment on your first home. Or perhaps you want to stay until you find a job.

Don't beat yourself up if you need more time. Brydie has been living with her parents for about a year and a half, but she had hoped to move out after six months. In addition to being a content creator on TikTok, she works for a startup and has been worried about job security amid a looming recession. "As long as I'm welcome here [with my parents], I'll probably just ride it out for a bit longer," she says.

Set boundaries

While living with your parents, be sure to set boundaries. It's a powerful tool that fosters an environment of respect and understanding, says Younge. Maintain your privacy by asking your parents to knock before entering your room. Keep your parents out of your dating life by asking your mom to stop trying to set you up with random people she's met at the grocery store.

Don't forget that your parents have boundaries too. If they say they don't want you to borrow their car, don't borrow it.

Maintain your routine ... and dating life

If you are having trouble setting up boundaries, create a routine to help you get out of the house, especially if you work from home and your parents are retired or also work from home. Having that much family time can be a hotbed of conflict — and everyone could use the space, says Younge.

If you can, get out every day. During business hours, work from the office, a co-working space, a coffee shop or a local library. Continue to take that spin class with your favorite instructor on Saturdays.

"Continue to live your life. Communicate that with your parents as well. [Tell them], 'This is my schedule. This is what I'm doing,' so it becomes a part of the routine early," says Younge.

The Joys And Pains Of Multigenerational Households

And keep dating. When living with family, it can be hard to find private, quiet moments that a romantic relationship can provide.

Dating while living at home can be tricky — especially if you come from a traditional household. If you're inviting a guest over, be sure to run it by your folks ahead of time, says Younge. "Have an open conversation with your parents. [Ask them] how they feel about having someone else in the house."

Contribute to the household

Many of us live at home for financial reasons. But if you can provide your parents with a monetary contribution to the household, they'd be most appreciative.

Offer to pay for your share of the utilities, groceries or rent — even if it's a nominal amount. Talk to your parents about how much you can realistically give, says Brydie. "My parents and I had a conversation about how to help financially. We decided I'd pay a couple of hundred bucks a month for groceries or household bills."

If you can't cut your parents a rent check every month, there are other ways to chip in. Perhaps you can take out the garbage, do the household laundry or wash the dishes after dinner. Whatever you decide, be consistent — show your parents that you are grateful for the opportunity to live at home and that you want to add value to the shared space.

This episode of Life Kit was produced by Margaret Cirino and edited by Sylvie Douglis and Meghan Keane. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib. The visual producer is Kaz Fantone.

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A majority of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents for the first time since the Great Depression

The coronavirus outbreak has pushed millions of Americans, especially young adults, to move in with family members. The share of 18- to 29-year-olds living with their parents has become a majority since U.S. coronavirus cases began spreading early this year, surpassing the previous peak during the Great Depression era.

In July, 52% of young adults resided with one or both of their parents, up from 47% in February, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of monthly Census Bureau data. The number living with parents grew to 26.6 million, an increase of 2.6 million from February. The number and share of young adults living with their parents grew across the board for all major racial and ethnic groups, men and women, and metropolitan and rural residents, as well as in all four main census regions. Growth was sharpest for the youngest adults (ages 18 to 24) and for White young adults.

The share and number of young adults living with their parents rose during the Great Recession era a decade ago, as family became an economic refuge for many. We wanted to see whether young adults again resorted to that “private safety net” amid widespread shutdowns and rough economic conditions caused by the coronavirus pandemic.

The analysis of recent trends and characteristics is based on the monthly  Current Population Survey  (CPS), conducted by the U.S. Census Bureau for the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The CPS is the nation’s premier labor force survey and is the basis for the monthly national unemployment rate released on the first Friday of each month. The CPS is based on a sample survey of about 60,000 households. All estimates use complete datasets supplied by the Census Bureau ; the estimates are not seasonally adjusted.

The CPS somewhat overstates the number of young adult college students who live with their parents. That is because unmarried college students residing in dormitories are counted as living with their parents. So the CPS cannot be used to measure the migration of college students living in dormitories to their parents’ homes since the onset of the pandemic. Not all unmarried college students ages 18 to 29 live in dormitories or with their parents. In February 2020, of the 12.6 million unmarried 18- to 29-year-old college students counted in the CPS, 5.2 million lived neither in dormitories nor with their parents.

The COVID-19 outbreak  has affected data collection  efforts by the U.S. government in its surveys, especially limiting in-person data collection. This resulted in a 15.3 percentage point  decrease in the response rate for the CPS in July 2020. It is possible that some measures of employment and enrollment and its demographic composition are affected by these changes in data collection.

Analysis of historical trends in young adults’ living arrangements for the years 1900-1990 is based on decennial census data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

Sample data from IPUMS for the censuses of 1900-1990 were analyzed online using the IPUMS Survey Documentation and Analysis system (SDA).

The CPS and census public-use microdata have variables identifying each individual respondent’s parents if they live in the household – mother and/or father and, in recent years, a second mother or second father. We used these variables to determine which individuals were living with one or more parents.

The total number of young adults living with parents would have been even higher had we included those living with the parents of their spouse or partner. Among 18- to 29-year-olds, 1.3%, or 680,000 people, did so in July 2020, according to the CPS; this group has remained relatively stable over the past decade. We omitted this group to be consistent with the historical decennial census data.

The share of young adults living with their parents is higher than in any previous measurement (based on current surveys and decennial censuses). Before 2020, the highest measured value was in the 1940 census at the end of the Great Depression, when 48% of young adults lived with their parents. The peak may have been higher during the worst of the Great Depression in the 1930s, but there is no data for that period.

The share of young adults living with parents declined in the 1950 and 1960 censuses before rising again. The monthly share in the Current Population Survey has been above 50% since April of this year, reaching and maintaining this level for the first time since CPS data on young adults’ living arrangements became available in 1976.

Young adults have been particularly hard hit by this year’s pandemic and economic downturn, and have been more likely to move than other age groups, according to a Pew Research Center survey . About one-in-ten young adults (9%) say they relocated temporarily or permanently due to the coronavirus outbreak, and about the same share (10%) had somebody move into their household. Among all adults who moved due to the pandemic, 23% said the most important reason was because their college campus had closed, and 18% said it was due to job loss or other financial reasons.

These new living arrangements may have an impact not just on young adults and their families, but on the U.S. economy overall , reflecting the importance of the housing market to overall economic growth. Even before the outbreak, the growth in new households trailed population growth, in part because people were moving in with others. Slower household growth could mean less demand for housing and household goods. There also may be a decline in the number of renters and homeowners, and in overall housing activity. Between February and July 2020, the number of households headed by an 18- to 29-year-old declined by 1.9 million, or 12%. The total went from 15.8 million to 13.9 million.

The vast majority of young adults who live with their parents – 88% – live in their parents’ home, and this group accounts for the growth in the population of adult children living with their parents. Nearly all of the remainder live in their own homes along with their parents, or in homes headed by other family members. These shares have been relatively stable for the past decade.

Most of the increase in young adults living with parents was among the youngest adults

The youngest adults (ages 18 to 24) accounted for most of the growth in the number of 18- to 29-year-olds living with their parents from February to July – 2.1 million of the 2.6 million increase was attributable to them. Most in this youngest age group already lived with their parents, but the share grew to 71% in July from 63% in February.

The pattern is consistent with employment losses since February. The youngest adults have been more likely than other age groups to lose their jobs or take a pay cut . The share of 16- to 24-year-olds who are neither enrolled in school nor employed more than doubled from February (11%) to June (28%) due to the pandemic and consequent economic downturn.

It is worth noting that in these Current Population Survey numbers, unmarried students who reside in on-campus college dorms are counted as living in their family home, so any increase in young adults living with parents this year would not be due to the pandemic-related closure of college dorms in the spring.

That said, there generally is a seasonal pattern to young adults living with their parents: The share tends to rise slightly in the summer, after college final exams. In 2019, for example, the share living with their parents rose by less than 2 percentage points in July compared with February. But this year, the increase was much sharper – more than 5 points.

Racial and ethnic differences in the share of young adults living with parents have narrowed

In past decades, White young adults have been less likely than their Asian, Black and Hispanic counterparts to live with their parents. That gap has narrowed since February as the number of White young adults living with their mothers and/or fathers grew more than for other racial and ethnic groups.

In fact, Whites accounted for about two-thirds (68%) of the increase in young adults living with their parents. As of July, more than half of Hispanic (58%) and Black (55%) young adults now live with their parents, compared with about half of White (49%) and Asian (51%) young adults.

Young men are more likely than young women to live with their parents, and both groups experienced increases in the number and share residing with mom, dad or both parents since the beginning of the coronavirus outbreak. Similarly, a higher share of young adults in metropolitan areas compared with rural ones live with their parents now, but the number in both areas grew from February to July.

By region, the number and share of young adults living with parents grew throughout the country. Growth was sharpest in the South, where the total rose by more than a million and the share increased by 7 percentage points, from 46% to 52%. But the Northeast retained its status as the region where the highest share of young adults live with parents (57%).

Correction (Sept. 9, 2020):   An earlier version of this post incorrectly stated the percentage point growth in the share of 18- to 29-year-olds residing in the South who are living with a parent. This share grew by 7 percentage points from February 2020 (46%) to July 2020 (52%). The percentage point change is computed from unrounded shares.

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Richard Fry is a senior researcher focusing on economics and education at Pew Research Center .

Jeffrey S. Passel is a senior demographer at Pew Research Center .

D’Vera Cohn is a former senior writer/editor focusing on immigration and demographics at Pew Research Center .

How Americans View the Coronavirus, COVID-19 Vaccines Amid Declining Levels of Concern

Economy remains the public’s top policy priority; covid-19 concerns decline again, lack of preparedness among top reactions americans have to public health officials’ covid-19 response, partisan differences are common in the lessons americans take away from covid-19, many americans say they have shifted their priorities around health and social activities during covid-19, most popular.

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Best Family Essay Examples

Living with parents.

549 words | 2 page(s)

Living with family seems like a luxurious, secure way of life. One good reason to leave the family is to get married and start your own family. However, just because one is an adult does not mean that one should live independently. Young people do not have as much experience with life to solve their problems and may not be able to handle the responsibilities of living on their own. Therefore, young people should live with their families until marriage, as they cannot handle as many responsibilities, and they do not have as much experience with life.

Firstly, young adults can live with parents who have more experience with life. Parents can advise and control their children and guide them the right way. Parents can help their children with most of their problems, as they have been through similar problems when they were young adults. For instance, young people are so curious and interested in everything, including bad behavior. They might drink alcohol without knowing the side effects behind it. By having parents that direct them, they will pay more attention to their parents’ instructions, since parents have their children’s best interests at heart.

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Another reason to live with parents is to share the responsibilities. Parents can help with money, food, internet, laundry, and cleaning that will not be on the shoulders of youth, who want to enjoy their free time. For example, young people do not have the opportunity to save money as their parents do, which leads them to have money issues when they live independently, which decreases funds for enjoyment. If they are students who are working to pay their tuition, they may have less time to study, which can cause poorer grades.

On the other hand, some people think that when young adults have conflicts at home they should leave the home and live independently. However, this is not a good solution. Children are the closest people to their parents’ heart. They should try to work things out, this good communication helping young adults to solve future problems with co-workers, friends, and partners.

Others may state that their child may decide to live with a partner. While it is understandable to want to get to know somebody better, it may not be the best choice. Living with a romantic partner without being tied to the marriage contract may lead to serious conflicts. Couples who live together versus being married may not work as hard to preserve the relationship. If the couple has children together and the relationship ends, the child may be forced to live with one parent, which can be difficult for everyone. However, deciding to live with one’s parents until one is ready to get married can avoid these problems, allowing young people to mature emotionally, socially, and financially.

There are seven billion people in the world from different cultures. Each culture has different traditional reasons regarding the subject of whether young people should live with their families. However, by realizing the advantages of living with parents, such as saving money, receiving guidance, and less responsibility, people may abandon their beliefs, more young people living with their parents. Therefore, young people should live with their families until marriage, as young people cannot handle as much responsibility and have less life experience.

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Narrative Essay: I Love My Parents

Parents are the closest people that we have in our lives, whether we realize it or not. They love us not because we are smart, beautiful, successful or we have a good sense of humour, but just because we are their children. I, too, love mom and dad simply because they are my parents, but I think I would have felt the same even if they weren’t. I love who they are as people, each with their own individual traits – and, together, forming an amazing super-team that’s made me who I am today and taught me what life is all about.

My mother is a cheerful, chatty perfectionist who seems to always find something to get excited about and who can talk for hours about animals and flowers. She is never afraid to speak her mind and she can be very convincing when she wants to. She sometimes get upset a bit too easily, but she is just as quick to forgive and forget. I love mom for all that she is – even when she’s angry – for all that she has done for me, and for all that she’s taught me. My mom has been through a lot throughout the years, but she always kept fighting.She taught me to never lose hope even in the direst of moments, and she showed me how to look for happiness in the small things. She’s been trying to teach me to be more organized as well, but hasn’t succeeded yet. I love her for that too.

My father is quiet, patient and calm, and he has an adorable hit-and-miss sense of humour. I may not always find his jokes that funny, but I love him for trying. Dad almost never gets angry and he is always polite, friendly and nice to everyone. He is not the one to verbalize emotions, but he always shows his feelings through sweet gestures and little surprizes. He is the pacifist in our family and never goes against mom’s wishes, but he runs a large company witha firm hand. I love my father for all these characteristics and for all he’s sacrificed to build a better life for us. He’s worked day and night to ensure we afford good education and have a rich, wonderful childhood, and he has passed up many great opportunities for the benefit of our family. I love dad because he’s taught me that you cannot have it all in life, but with hard work and dedication, you can have what matters most to you.

Mom and dad may be very different people, but they complement each other perfectly. Together, they formed a super-team that was always there – and, thankfully, still is – to provide comfort, nurturing, and support and help me grow as a person. Their complementary personalities bring balance in our family, and each of them steps in whenever they are needed the most. Together, they taught me to believe in myself and have turned me into a fighter. Their care and dedication towards me and each other has served as an example of what healthy relationships should be like, and I love and admire them for that.

I love my parents because they are my parents, my good friends, my heroes, my role models, my safe haven, my pillars of strength.I am who I am today thanks to them, and I know that their support and affection will play an essential role in what I will become in the future.All I can hope is that, when I have children of my own, I will be half as good a parent as they were to me.

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Tips for Living with Your Adult Children or Aging Parents

Managing conflict when grown family members cohabitate..

Posted July 31, 2021 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

• Since early 2020, 52% of 18- to 29-year-olds are living with their parents; more than the peak during the Great Depression.
• in 2016, 3.4M adults aged 65+ (11%) lived with adult children; these numbers increased during the pandemic.
• The sandwich generation is especially impacted and stressed.

Due to the pandemic, millions of Americans have moved back in with family out of necessity, leading to relationship conflict. The two biggest groups who have moved are young adult children moving back with their parents and the elderly moving in with their adult children. The sandwich generation has been especially stressed as they may now be caring for both adult kids and aging parents 1 . Not only can the transition of living together be taxing on your relationship with one another; marriages, partnerships, and relationships with involved loved ones can suffer too.

Since early 2020, 52% of 18- to 29-year-olds are living with their parents. This is more than the peak during the Great Depression . 2 According to a recent Pew Research survey, more than 30% of those people moved because of financial difficulty caused by unemployment. Another 14% moved because colleges closed their campuses . 3

According to the Joint Center for Housing Studies of Harvard University, in 2016, 5.3 million adults aged 65+ (11%) lived in another person's household with 3.4 million living with their adult children.³ This number has increased during the pandemic as people have been navigating concerns about the health and safety of their aging parents who are at higher risk for negative outcomes from contracting COVID-19 . Additionally, financial strain has caused adult children to become the caretakers of their aging parents.

There are challenges on both sides when adjusting to living under one roof. Here are some of the common difficulties families are experiencing:

Conflicts About Power and Control: Who's in Charge?

When a young adult moves back home, they feel like they’ve lost their independence. Like it or not, parents often view their kids as children, no matter how old they are. This can lead to regressing back to old behaviors and relational patterns. For example, a parent can feel responsible for their adult child and feel inclined to manage and monitor their daily living, choices, and activities. When young adults are put in this position, they feel disrespected, causing relationship conflict.

Acknowledge and recognize that even though the young adult will always be your child, they are adults. This requires a big shift in the parent-child relationship. As you develop mutual respect for one another, you can let go and allow the adult child to be responsible for themselves without micromanaging or enabling them.

When a parent moves in with an adult child, it can feel like a role reversal. Aging parents may struggle with feelings of loss while adult children are in a state of overwhelm. Again, acknowledge all parties are grown adults deserving respect.

It is important to realize and respect that it is the primary homeowner who is in charge of the rules of the household. Proactive and honest conversations that are mutually respectful need to occur so that everyone is clear on expectations.

Boundary Challenges: What rules and limits need to be established?

Using assertive communication that is respectful, direct and clear, set boundary limits when it comes to:

• Physical space : Which spaces of the home are private or shared?
• Rules of the house: What are the rules regarding cleanliness in common spaces, noise limitations, curfew, policy on guests, or substance use?
• Finances: Who is going to pay for what, and what do you determine to be a loan or a gift?
• Division of Labor: Who is responsible for cleaning, grocery shopping, or doing chores like laundry?
• Privacy: Can the adult child have their partner over? Can the parent just walk into the adult child’s room because it's their home? What are each person's needs?
• Time: Is this a permanent or temporary living arrangement? If temporary, for how long, and what is the exit plan?

Communication Problems: How can we resolve our differences?

There’s a range of emotions that come with a new living arrangement including grief and loss. For everyone involved, there is some loss of independence, freedom, and privacy. Being financially dependent on another can lower feelings of self-worth . Likewise, being financially responsible for another can lead to resentment. Be prepared for communication challenges, a period of adjustment, and some potential conflict. To effectively communicate and resolve conflict:

• Practice empathy. Put yourself in the shoes of the other person and imagine how they might feel. Verbalizing empathy allows people to feel heard, known, understood, and connected. It can diffuse conflict as once people feel heard, they may not become increasingly defensive or aggressive to get their message across.
• Choose your words carefully. Consider how what you say will feel to the other person. Before speaking, ask yourself, “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?”
• Address concerns. Avoid being passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive . Voice concerns in a kind. diplomatic, appropriate, and timely fashion.
• Have weekly or monthly check-ins. Use this time to clear the air and nip any challenges in the bud.
• Access support from friends, family, community, and support groups.
• Consider individual or family counseling or therapy .
• Work with a financial advisor or debt consolidation counselor for financial advice .
• Practice self-compassion. During this time, be gentle with yourself. Transitions can be stressful , and practicing self-compassion, self-forgiveness , and self-care are crucial now more than ever.
• Practice forgiveness. Resentment is hardened anger that can build walls between ourselves and our loved ones. Practice forgiveness to emancipate yourself from the anger that can lead to both mental and physical health challenges.

Wishing you peace and serenity. Remember, "This too, shall pass."

https://www.bbc.com/worklife/article/20210128-why-the-sandwich-generati…

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2020/09/04/a-majority-of-young-ad…

https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2021/02/04/as-the-pandemic-persis…

https://www.jchs.harvard.edu/sites/default/files/Harvard_JCHS_Housing_A…

Joyce Marter, LCPC, is a psychotherapist, entrepreneur, mental health thought leader, national speaker, and author.

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At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

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I Was 27, Engaged, and Living With My Parents

My future husband and I had to move back to our childhood homes before we could start our life together.

I credit unemployment with bringing us together. Our mutual unemployment put my future husband and I on the same humble level, where neither of us would be dazzled (or blinded) by fancy dinners, club lights, or $10 martinis because, quite frankly, none of those things were in our budget.

Our first three dates went like this: (1) Me: "Hey, come over and watch a movie with six of my friends so I know you won't murder me." (2) Him: "Hey, come over and watch Sopranos on my couch." (3) Me: "Hey, just come over."

If I still had a snazzy corporate job when we met, I would never have agreed to a date with an unemployed dude. If he had been employed, he couldn't have spent that first night on the phone with me until 3 a.m. In those first few months, we could talk or watch television or instant message for hours, and sharing a Wendy's combo was a treat.  We couldn't go "out;" we had to stay in and get to know each other.

Then we had to say "goodbye."

When our severance packages ran out, we each ran home to mom and dad — him to Connecticut, me to south Alabama. We had only been dating for a few months, but I decided I loved him as I pulled out of town in a U-Haul.

I was 27. I had a master's degree, had worked for a magazine publisher for three years. I had not lived at home (aside from college summers) for 10 years. My parents were happy to have me home; they have never been the type to push their chicks from the nest. Both my brother and his wife had done a short stint there after vet school and before starting their business. In short, I never thought for a minute I would be unwelcome.

While there was no family tension around my return to the nest, the financial tension was strangling. I had delusions of returning to grad school for a Ph.D. in economics. It turns out the early 2000s recession had many Gen-Xers thinking the same thing, and there wasn't enough funding to go around. Besides, how could I go to Colorado for school when I needed to be closer to a man in Connecticut?

My husband and I spent a year and a half back in our respective hometowns, taking temporary jobs, scrapping our way back to financial adulthood and independence. He sorted packages for FedEx, I painted cabinets for my sister-in-law. He was a high school substitute teacher, I worked a few weeks in a carpet factory. He studied to become an actuary, I took a job as editor of a nearby newspaper.

We lived and loved long distance, over dial-up connections and land lines, with a few visits underwritten by parents who wanted to see us make it. I sent handmade sentiments fashioned from scraps in my mom's sewing sewing stash. He proposed on New Year's Eve by casually promising he would get me a ring.

I started buying bride magazines, still unsure when or how fate would bridge the gap between New England and the Deep South, how we would end up in the same place, under the same roof.

It did finally happen later that year. He found a permanent job in Tennessee and I said, " Let's set the date." His parents and mine were together for the first time in Alabama to see us married and send us off on our own.

Eleven years later, we are thriving and growing our own family, but too far from Connecticut and Alabama. However, I still know if everything goes sideways, I can go home again. (Yes, I'm almost 40 and I just called my mom to confirm that I'd be welcome.)

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• My Parents Essay

500 Words Essay On My Parents

We entered this world because of our parents. It is our parents who have given us life and we must learn to be pleased with it. I am grateful to my parents for everything they do for me. Through my parents essay, I wish to convey how valuable they are to me and how much I respect and admire them.

My Strength My Parents Essay

My parents are my strength who support me at every stage of life. I cannot imagine my life without them. My parents are like a guiding light who take me to the right path whenever I get lost.

My mother is a homemaker and she is the strongest woman I know. She helps me with my work and feeds me delicious foods . She was a teacher but left the job to take care of her children.

My mother makes many sacrifices for us that we are not even aware of. She always takes care of us and puts us before herself. She never wakes up late. Moreover, she is like a glue that binds us together as a family.

Parents are the strength and support system of their children. They carry with them so many responsibilities yet they never show it. We must be thankful to have parents in our lives as not everyone is lucky to have them.

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

While my mother is always working at home, my father is the one who works outside. He is a kind human who always helps out my mother whenever he can. He is a loving man who helps out the needy too.

My father is a social person who interacts with our neighbours too. Moreover, he is an expert at maintaining his relationship with our relatives. My father works as a businessman and does a lot of hard work.

Even though he is a busy man, he always finds time for us. We spend our off days going to picnics or dinners. I admire my father for doing so much for us without any complaints.

He is a popular man in society as he is always there to help others. Whoever asks for his help, my father always helps them out. Therefore, he is a well-known man and a loving father whom I look up to.

Conclusion of My Parents Essay

I love both my parents with all my heart. They are kind people who have taught their children to be the same. Moreover, even when they have arguments, they always make up without letting it affect us. I aspire to become like my parents and achieve success in life with their blessings.

FAQ of My Parents Essay

Question 1: Why parents are important in our life?

Answer 1: Parents are the most precious gifts anyone can get. However, as not everyone has them, we must consider ourselves lucky if we do. They are the strength and support system of children and help them out always. Moreover, the parents train the children to overcome challenges and make the best decision for us.

Question 2: What do parents mean to us?

Answer 2: Parents mean different things to different people. To most of us, they are our source of happiness and protection. They are the ones who are the closest to us and understand our needs without having to say them out loud. Similarly, they love us unconditionally for who we are without any ifs and buts.

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Living with Parents vs Living Alone Essay Example

• Pages: 2 (511 words)
• Published: March 26, 2017
• Type: Essay

“Moving out for the first time is one of the biggest steps you’ll take in life. It not only represents your freedom, independence and a sense of growing up, it also tests your ability to make it on your own. ” (Kahler, 2007) Whether to live with your parents, or move out on your own is one of today’s biggest decisions. There are many advantages and disadvantages with either situation, but most young people may not realize that when time comes to make a decision. There are many responsibilities and roles for these individuals in either situation.

Teenagers should think about everything before he or she moves out on his or her own. There are many reasons for living with a parent or living alone. If you live with parents there will alway

s be someone around, but on the other hand if you live alone you will most likely be alone most of the time and that could be depressing. If you live with parents’ there will always be someone there to help you out, but if you live alone you have a lot of things you have to do by yourself.

Yet, if you live alone, you can have people over whenever you want without anyone getting upset because they are being too loud or staying over too late or it could be the other way around, if you live with your parents you probably won’t be allowed to have anyone come over at all. Living alone may seem great and be lots of fun, but living alone also has disadvantages. Living alone, teens tend to have more responsibilities than they know. They have to cook

and clean on their own, which some young individuals may not know how to do, so they will spend more money on fast foods rather than staying home and cooking.

Young individuals who live on their own also have to pay for their utility bills when, on the other hand, if they lived with their parents they wouldn’t have to pay rent or utilities, so it wouldn’t be so stressful for this person to live comfortably. Yet, young individuals living on their own have the freedom to come and go as they please and not have to worry about telling anyone where they are going and when they are coming back, as they would when living at home with their parents.

However, if young adults live with their parents, someone would always be there to hang out with or to do something with; in contrast, young individuals who live on their own tend to be lonely or depressed. When making the decision of living with parents or living on your own teens should keep in mind that even though living on your own gives you the freedom and independence most teens crave. The cost of living has gone up, tremendously, they may not be ready for it, and living with parents would make more sense, be more convenient, and give you security, if you are not stably ready for these responsibilities.

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Do you ever wish you had some peace and quiet? Perhaps you can’t take the continual din and turmoil of living with your family anymore. Or maybe you just want to save money on rent and utilities.

If that’s the case, living alone may be the best alternative for you! In this blog article, we’ll look at the advantages and disadvantages of each living situation to assist you in making an informed decision.

If you feel like your family is invading your personal space, or bad at keeping the boundaries, whether you are the type to game all day or pull an all-nighter on PlayAmo casino login , you need to keep reading.

The family is the most essential aspect of our existence. It’s from there that we’re able to establish ourselves. We learn various aspects of our lives, such as a sense of responsibility and how to love and care for one another. Family members are increasingly likely to live in different areas throughout today’s society.

A family member might move to a new city or enroll at a university in a different state. We’ve all stayed at home with our families, particularly as kids. When we were unable to live alone, our parents or guardians looked after us. There are several things to think about before deciding whether or not to leave your parent’s house. Living under your parents’ roof has advantages and drawbacks, just like living alone does.

When you live alone, you have more freedom than when you live with family. Your parents will always keep an eye on you. They’ll want to know where you’re going and how long you’ll be gone for. They’ll even choose your clothing for you. In contrast, living alone allows one to enjoy a great deal of liberty. You may go anywhere without asking permission and not answer to anyone.

You are free to make your own decisions, such as what to wear and how to arrange and decorate your home. The house is generally as the parents desire in the family. They may direct how things should be completed at home. Living alone gives you more freedom than living at home because you have more freedom alone than while at home. You have complete control over when and who you wish to invite when living alone, without asking for permission.

2. Finances

Staying with your family may help you save money. Parents at home usually cover the major domestic costs. They pay for the majority of the bills, including food, electricity, water, clothing, pocket money, and medicine. They provide fundamental necessities such as food and shelter to those who choose to live alone. When you decide to live alone, your expenses become a burden.

You must pay for everything from rent to the plumber who may come to repair the sink or bathroom. It is costly since you will be responsible for all of the expenditures and will not be able to rely on your parents for support. You get free meals at home, unlike when living alone, where you must cook every time without assistance. All housework has to be done. At home, chores are frequently divided and simplified.

Also Read: Being Alone is not Being Lonely: How to Stay Productive While Having a “Me Time”

3. House Chores

However, a person must do all of the house chores alone when living alone. The bed has to be made, laundry washed, and dishes cleaned. This might be stressful even if one is working or studying when he or she arrives home tired. You get home weary and must cook and clean all by yourself. Food is always ready on time for dinner at home, and most of the house duties are handled by the parents and other siblings. When you live alone, your dependence on your parents fades away. You have greater independence in how you live as well as making your own decisions.

Also Read: 10 Signs You’re a Great Parent

4. Emotional Support

Parents can provide financial and emotional assistance. They can be there to comfort you if something terrible happens in your life, or they can be there to celebrate the good times with you. When you’re having a hard time, they may assist you with money and offer advice when needed. They’ll always be there for you, regardless of what occurs. Living alone, on the other hand, has its advantages as well. You learn how to survive on your own and develop more emotionally independent.

If you live in the same city or town as your family and friends, you can visit them whenever you want. If not, there are still video chats, social media sites, and emails to keep in touch with.

5. Independence

Humans’ decisions are strongly influenced by their parents at home. Parents are responsible for virtually everything in one’s life, and they are relied on for almost everything. One expects them to take care of the family as well as fulfill all of one’s needs. You will never be self-reliant if you live at home with your family for a long time. In order to be independent and self-reliant, one must learn how to become so while living with parents and guardians may not always be available.

Even after you no longer require it, your parents will always be offering you advice, whether or not you want it. When living on your own, you have the opportunity to learn a lot of new things. You learn how to be responsible and handle your finances. You make your own decisions based on what you want rather than what your parents or guardians tell you. Living alone also helps alleviate the burden of caring for others on a daily basis on the part of the parent-child relationship

6. Companionship

Living alone is a lot more lonely than living at home. One may share his or her house with his or her parents and siblings at home. They keep each other company, watch movies together, create stories, and even cook meals together. However, being alone is isolating. There is no one to converse within the evening and express ideas with.

At home, the parents are always available and the other siblings are there to provide emotional support. When living alone, one must deal with issues on one’s own. The community is quite different from when one moves to city rentals. At home, you know the neighbors well and can count on them in case of an emergency. One may not be familiar with the location and its residents.

There are several advantages and disadvantages of both living alone and residing with your family. However, it is clear that housing with the family has more weight owing to the benefits. Even though living alone may teach you to be responsible and offer freedom, living with you provides security, family interaction, and so on.

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By Gabriella DePinho

Gabriella DePinho is a writer on the discovery team. She has found cheap(ish) things for medicine cabinets, movie nights, and a good night’s sleep.

More than half of Gen Zers between the ages of 18 to 24 lived at home with their families as of 2022. I’m one of them.

I graduated college in 2021. The job market was tough. Housing costs were sky-high. And as a first-generation American whose culture normalizes adult children living at home, it was an obvious choice: I moved back in with Mom and Dad.

In some ways, it has been wonderful. But it hasn’t always been easy.

Here are the things I’ve used—and the strategies I’ve employed—to make bunking with my folks as easy and enjoyable as possible.

#1: Create a shared calendar

My parents and I never formally talked about how living together would work. That was probably a mistake.

Would I be expected to contribute to household bills? Did they need my help caring for other family members? What new chores would I be taking on? What were the rules for borrowing their car? We probably should have talked about these things up front.

And even if we had, that wouldn’t have been enough. We also needed to establish easy ways for us to keep communicating about our shared lives and shared space.

A shared calendar has helped a ton.

We hang a giant desk-pad calendar on a closet door, but you could opt for a digital shared calendar instead.

With a shared calendar, we can easily keep track of one another’s schedules and plans. I know at a glance who will be home for dinner or when my dad needs me for yard work.

When my siblings visit home, they also add their plans to the calendar the way my parents and I do—in pencil, with our initials next to the event, time, and location.

All of us also stay in touch throughout the day via a family group text message chat.

We swap jokes, news articles, and, most important, updates: We’ve messaged when someone needs a ride from the train station, when we’re running to the grocery store, when we’re making last-minute plans, when my siblings are stopping by, and when we’re changing the streaming-service password.

If your family is techier than mine, you can marshal such conversations onto a platform like Discord , but for us, a good old SMS chat works just fine.

#2: Buy your own household basics

Building a stash of your own supplies ensures that you have the stuff you need when you need it.

I have my own stain removers to treat spots before doing my laundry, and I’ve bought an extra surface cleaner to store in the bathroom to make cleaning the counter more convenient.

When I’m meal prepping lunches to take to the office, I replace ingredients that I finish, make a few extra servings for my family to enjoy, and use old takeout containers to store the food so that my parents’ nice food storage containers are still there when they look for them.

#3: Declutter and reorganize your old stuff

After you move home from college, it’s time to let go of the duplicate pillows and alarm clock and figure out what to do with the twin XL bedsheets.

But it’s not just the dorm essentials that you need to deal with—you also need to make sure that your childhood bedroom is ready for your adult life.

Deep-clean your room. I junked trophies from rec sports leagues, posters from school projects, and crafts I hadn’t touched in years. I also rearranged my bedroom furniture from the way it had been since my senior year of high school.

I passed a few of my dorm essentials to some younger cousins, sold other items on Facebook Marketplace, and saved the rest for my family’s biennial garage sale.

For clothes I’d outgrown, I took Wirecutter’s advice on donating clothes and found a local organization to give to, and I timed my donations to be seasonally appropriate. And I gave clothes that were too worn out to a municipal textile-recycling program.

Other Wirecutter staffers have had similar experiences. “I moved home briefly and had nowhere to put everything from my apartment, and I didn’t want to pay for storage,” said associate copy editor Hailey Briggs, who named storage bins and space-saving vacuum storage bags among her must-haves.

#4: Cultivate your space

Investing in my space was a way of investing in myself. It made my childhood bedroom feel much more like my adult home.

I keep scented candles on my nightstand and dressers, and I stick instant-print photos on the wall alongside art I’ve drawn and painted. I have bookshelves full of my favorite reads, a tapestry hanging above my bed, and a Bluetooth speaker that nearly always has music humming through it.

In a spare corner, I added a fun chair (that sometimes also serves as my laundry-pile chair ). I also started favoring the soft glow of my bedside lamps over the harsh glare of overhead lights. I bought the cheapest possible lamps from Target, which have white shades and a thin metal base—they’re nothing special, but they’ve converted me to the anti–overhead light camp. I added a weighted blanket to my sleep supplies, and I splurged on Wirecutter’s top-pick sunrise alarm clock .

Philips SmartSleep Wake-Up Light HF3520

The best sunrise alarm clock.

This sleek alarm has the most soothing simulated sunrise and sunset, which may help you feel less groggy. It has a good range of alarm sounds and other useful features, but programming the clock is awkward.

Buying Options

#5: optimize your home office.

Since my dad works in our family’s home office, my childhood bedroom turned adult home is also my designated work-from-home space.

So I upgraded my desk chair , started using a monitor and keyboard separate from my laptop, and got a new lamp. For easy note-taking, I bought notepads, sticky notes, and new pens .

I framed a few photos and left some tchotchkes on my desk to fidget with when I’m brainstorming.

My desk now mimics my ideal in-office setup as best as possible, even though it’s the same desk I’ve used since middle school.

#6: Explore hobbies that get you out of the house

Finding reasons to leave home on a regular basis is a great way to carve out some privacy and curate your own interests while maintaining the independence you grew accustomed to in college—all without appearing to ignore the people you live with.

For my first two years living at home, my “out-of-the-house hobby” was attending graduate-school classes after work and going to the library to do homework. Once I graduated, I realized that I spent my free time doing a lot of homebody hobbies like baking, drawing, and reading. So I started running and joined a gym to get out more.

Exercising more frequently improved both my physical and mental health —and I was able to connect with old and new friends alike as we trained together or tried (and failed) to complete viral fitness challenges .

You can also take a class to learn a new skill, like senior updates writer Sri Rain Stewart, who took guitar classes after college. Or you can join an interest-based group for something you already enjoy, such as a book club, knitting circle, or movie club .

#7: Carve out your calm

There will be days where you’re so glad to be in a home with people you love. And then there will be days where you get so frustrated with your family’s antics, you’ll actually start to miss your cramped college dorm.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed being around your family all the time, I suggest putting on noise-cancelling headphones for a little extra peace and quiet. I’ve always used budget earbuds , but when my family is loudly yapping away or the TV is blaring, I can clearly hear them over my music, podcasts, or work calls, and it makes me wish that I’d splurged a little to create the quiet I desire.

Budget pick

Soundcore Space One

The best budget noise-cancelling headphones.

This pair of over-ear headphones cancels noise impressively, sounds great, is comfortable to wear, and offers a long battery life—all for less than $100.

Personalized routines help too. Whether it’s a skin-care ritual, morning stretching, nightly meditation (which is my favorite), or something else, carving out time for self-care can help soothe your mind, even when the environment around you is chaotic or loud.

The best meditation app

This app has the largest variety of meditations, with guided sessions for beginners and less-structured programming for more-advanced practitioners. Its rich library of meditations is well organized and easy to navigate.

#8: Prioritize your mental health

Variations of the joke “When you live with your parents, the rent is free, but you pay with your mental health” have been posted online tons of times. And, well, it’s true.

You might feel grateful for the roof over your head, while simultaneously feeling anxious, upset, frustrated, or sad. While I was starting my career working remotely in the same town I’d grown up in, I watched through my phone as my friends began their lives in their own apartments all across the country. Sometimes, it would all start to get to me.

I started journaling more frequently. I tried to make sure my entries included at least one thing I was grateful for that day. I vented to my friends about what I was feeling.

I used in-person therapy sessions to develop coping skills to navigate the feelings of stress, anxiety, and loneliness that living at home elicited in me. (Therapy, whether in-person or online, has a ringing endorsement from a number of Wirecutter staffers who moved in and out of their childhood homes as adults. If you opt for remote therapy and have to do your sessions at home, I also recommend getting a white noise machine to dampen sounds so that your session stays private.)

LectroFan EVO

Top-notch noise masking.

With its electronically generated sounds, this small but mighty machine masks a wider variety of noises than the other options in its price range.

I eventually and gradually began to appreciate that living at home isn’t something I had to do, but something I had the chance to do. That perspective shift changed everything. The sooner you can come to this realization for yourself, the easier it will be to navigate all the ups and downs of living at home.

#9: Reconnect with your parents as an adult

There’s a good chance that the last time you lived at home, you were 17 and on the verge of new adventures. And in your parents’ eyes, you were still their baby.

So when you come home later in life, your parents might have a hard time adjusting to the reality of your adulthood. Making time to reconnect with them in new ways can help them with your transition home, as much as it will help you.

Staff writer Dorie Chevlen moved home for a short time when she was 26 and got a Criterion Channel subscription, which allowed her to bond with her parents as they watched movies that everyone could (mostly) agree on.

The Criterion Channel

True film aficionados will appreciate this streaming site’s ever-changing assembly of the world’s top docs, foreign films, arthouse faves, and other hard-to-stream flicks.

Production manager Nicki Koetting moved home at 25, and she would enjoy frequent “happy hours” with her mom and adult sister, an experience that made ordinary afternoons special. A nice beer glass or wine glass can help elevate a shared drink to an occasion.

If you’re a competitive crew, an adult board game or two can mature family game night past childhood favorites.

When supervising editor Marilyn Ong moved her family and new baby in with her parents and brother after living abroad, they bonded over their love of coffee. She and her brother got a new grinder and pour-over gear for the house, and they tried out a coffee subscription so that they could sample new blends and roasts as a family.

As for my parents and me, well, we watch every The Bachelor show, go on walks, and make an event out of the occasional Saturday-night drink.

Being intentional about spending time together has improved our relationship. We now have frank, mature conversations about everything under the sun, and they no longer give me a hard time about staying out late with my friends (as long as I’m not loud when I let myself back in.)

Thanks to my parents’ welcoming me home, I feel financially and mentally ready for my next adventure in a shoebox apartment of my own.

But I’d be lying if I said I won’t miss living with my parents. I mean, who am I going to watch The Bachelor with each week?

This article was edited by Alexander Aciman, Rose Maura Lorre, Catherine Kast, and Ben Frumin.

Meet your guide

Gabriella DePinho

Gabriella DePinho is an updates writer at Wirecutter. Previously, she worked at NBC News writing about deals and product launches. She loves working in product recommendation but personally hates shopping—and she knows that doesn’t make sense.

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Further reading

How to Make Space for Kids to Be Creative at Home

by Jackie Reeve

With families spending more time at home, designating a special zone where kids can get creative (and messy) can be challenging—but rewarding.

5 Tips to Declutter Your Home Office

by Jenni Gritters

Clutter can creep up on you when you work from home. Here’s how to get organized so it doesn’t mess with your focus and productivity.

Don’t Try to Declutter Your Whole Life. Start With Your Fridge.

by Elissa Sanci

You want to declutter your home, but you don’t know where to start. We’re here to help.

Small Bedroom Ideas: The Best Ways to Maximize Your Tiny Space

by Dorie Chevlen and Caroline Biggs

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It is better for college students to live far away from home – IELTS Writing Task 2

Updated On Oct 25, 2021

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It is better for college students to live far away from home than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

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Sample Essay

Student accommodation wields direct influences in their life and academic performance I uphold the conviction that it is more necessary for student life to be spent a long distance from their parents.

Life on campus may be more advantageous for university students. It is undeniable that with the absence of parental care, students seem to have a chance to shoulder almost all the blame for their private life, ranging from doing household chores to manage personal finance, meticulously preparing certain life skills for their later life. Additionally, thanks to their shared accommodation , students might learn how to live and work in harmony with others, giving rise to improvements in social skills. Finally, students can accomplish higher academic outcomes by dint of mutual aid and support from friends by sharing learning materials or developing proper study strategies for each other, facilitating their study when sharing the room.

However, although living with parents during student life may bring several benefits ranging from parental care to feeling of safety, this lifestyle can be more detrimental. In fact, commuting to universities from home daily may deprive various students of a remarkable time which should have been allocated for for participating in recreational and extracurricular activities or sports events with a view to enhancing their physical health and develop their teamwork skills or communication competences. This physical stamina and these soft skills are prerequisites for paving the way for academic as well as professional success. In other words, were it not for these soft skills which appear easier to be developed in a self-reliant life , students would be at a disadvantage in the process of accumulating academic knowledge and professional qualifications for future employment.

In conclusion, based on the aforementioned explanations, it seems to me that enjoying campus life far from their parents is a more sensible decision than living under the same roof with their parents.

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There can be several factors based on which college students can be segregated, one of which is the preference of residence during higher education. Students often have to choose between living with their family or living by themselves in a hostel or as a paying guest during their time at a university before seeking admission. It is often concluded that spending time apart from one’s family during college is the more suitable option for students. I am a strong supporter of this notion and I will support my views with relevant instances in the following essay.

First and foremost, the greatest benefit in travelling and residing in a place different from one’s home town or city for education is the ability to choose from an array of reputed academic institutes. It is important to have all options open for students who are at the stage of deciding which university to apply to for higher education. This advantage is not enjoyed by individuals who are obligated to remain with their families during college as their choices are extremely limited.

Additionally, this particular phase is a crucial time in a student’s life as it is during this period that a person is supposed to understand the value of being responsible for themselves. Thus, when a young individual is presented with the responsibility of taking care of themselves along with tackling a rigorous university routine, they are bound to become more sensible and capable human beings. Moreover, when college students are deprived of the luxury of staying with their parents, they are required to develop vital life skills which will prove beneficial in the future.

Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to this popular notion as well which make it an unfeasible option for many individuals. The monetary expenses, especially the cost of living in a foreign place is what makes it a difficult choice for many underprivileged households. That being said, financial restrictions can also be a source of important life experiences as many students are known to work along with pursuing a university degree to support themselves financially.

In conclusion, I would like to say that the choice of where to reside during college is a highly personal decision and is influenced by a diverse set of factors. However, the merits of living by yourself and taking up responsibilities make it a fairly practical choice.

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Friday essay: ‘My family are always trying to buy us a house.’ We asked couples how class affects their relationships

Senior Lecturer, Macquarie School of Social Sciences, Macquarie University

Senior Research Fellow, Alfred Deakin Institute for Citizenship and Globalisation, Deakin University

Disclosure statement

Rose Butler has received funding from the Australian Research Council.

Eve Vincent does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment.

Macquarie University and Deakin University provide funding as members of The Conversation AU.

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When Patrick first held a driver’s licence, his P-plates, he drove a beaten-up car “almost as old as myself”. If police didn’t pull him over once a month, he’d be surprised.

His older brother’s girlfriend, “an upper-class girl”, was once pulled over while on her P-plates while driving a new car, having forgotten to put her lights on. The officer told her in a friendly voice, “You should probably put your lights on.” She had responded mildly with, “Oh, cool, sorry.” Meanwhile, in a similar situation, Patrick had been charged over an insignificant technicality to do with displaying his P-plates.

“Just the expectation from me of dealing with authorities is … I have to toe the line,” he told us, “my expectations are I’m going to get slammed by them.”

When we spoke to Patrick, he was in his thirties. Now, he was a computer programmer, living a comfortable life. But throughout his childhood, Patrick, who is white, shouldered significant responsibilities amid severe material deprivation – he recalled going hungry, for instance.

His girlfriend, Felicia, grew up in the “upper class end of things” in the quiet south-eastern suburbs of Melbourne. Her dad was a doctor and her mum assisted with the practice. She and her siblings attended the local private school because, Felicia believed, her parents wanted her to associate with “the right people”. She described her family background as Jewish, English and “brown”, and her childhood as a “very happy time”.

Patrick told us Felicia can “talk her way out of” situations with authorities. “She can always explain the situation and get leeway.” He sees a big difference between them around “expectation”: of their treatment in the world and their place within it.

These divergent expectations reached into various aspects of their shared lives. “Dealing with things like real estate agents or businesses or whatever, she’s always got the expectation that something can be worked out.” Put another way, Patrick felt Felicia’s view of the world was, “What she wants can be got.”

Patrick, conversely, described how he couldn’t “shake” the feeling he needed to always have “everything in line”. If he was submitting a rental application for a house, for example, he took care to have all the documentation watertight and in hand. This is much easier to accomplish now he is earning a high wage as a programmer and living a settled life. Yet he still carries a somewhat amorphous anxiety, steeped in his class experience. “If I have one thing wrong, that one thing’s going to trip me up.”

Love across class

We spent two years interviewing 38 people about their experiences of love and class: members of 15 couples, plus eight women whose partners declined to take part.

When we asked about our interviewees’ cultural backgrounds, their descriptions included “white”, “mixed race”, “brown”, Aboriginal, Jewish, Vietnamese, Sri Lankan, English, Māori and Turkish.

What happens, we wanted to know, when people form a romantic relationship across class?

We were attracted to this question after a project where we’d interviewed parents about the changing multicultural dynamics of their local public schools and neighbourhoods. We noticed it was relatively easy for white, middle-class parents to recognise, feel positive about and know what to say about forming connections across “ethnic” difference in their school communities.

But they felt differently about their children forming friendships across class: this was far less appealing and more actively avoided. Many struggled to find a vocabulary to talk about the nature of class differences. These were communicated using other words, like “values” and “rough”.

We decided to embark on new research together, with “class” as an explicit focus. We interviewed people who perceived their class background, or “class origin”, to be different to their partner’s.

Many interviewees expressed relief and even catharsis in discussing class and its significance to their partnership – and their relationship to the world more broadly. We also talked with couples who felt confused about the role class difference played in their relationship, but sensed it was something they were grappling with. This was especially the case when people hailed from migrant or transnational backgrounds, or had experienced upward social mobility.

Two of our interviewees were hesitant to use the language of class: they worried it involved judgement and betrayal of their faith in meritocracy and individual character.

Class, we learned, manifests in subtle and not-so-subtle ways in these partnerships.

A similar place ‘from very different directions’

Patrick had spent his childhood moving up and down the east coast, “just random places”. His dad did “manual labour of various sorts” before a car accident wrecked his left arm. He did work “every so often” throughout his childhood, but was “mostly unemployed”. In his adulthood, Patrick’s parents separated and his mum started working in aged care.

Felicia told us Patrick was not a “man child”, unlike “so many of the people that I grew up with”. His maturity was very attractive to her, and she described him as “very emotionally intelligent”. As a child, Patrick’s family visited op shops to buy clothes, books and old computers. He talked about slowly building a nourishing life as he recovers from the psychic pain caused, in part, by abject childhood poverty.

Felicia says she and Patrick have arrived at a similar place “from very different directions”. She has come to feel increasingly “alienated” from “a lot of assumptions about lifestyle and money” she grew up with.

While her old school friends have mortgages and expensive cars bought with the “equity from those mortgages”, she rents in a lively, friendly neighbourhood and engages in just enough locum work as a doctor to sustain her lifestyle. She greatly values her spare time.

Felicia and Patrick’s close bond and respect for each other was clear to us. Yet Patrick also emphasised that his wounds remain raw, as he delved into the dynamics of their cross-class relationship.

Class is ‘one of our biggest issues’

Another couple, Caleb and Jacinta, described the class dynamics of their relationship in ways that echo Patrick and Felicia’s. However, they described a more pointed, building tension.

Jacinta, who grew up with far fewer opportunities and choices than Caleb, described class as “one of our biggest issues”.

Caleb is a white university student in his thirties from inner-city Melbourne, the sole child of “two detached lawyers”. Jacinta, who works as a TV producer, described herself as being from a “mixed” ethnic background. Her mum was a cleaner and her stepdad a security guard.

Caleb is “pathologically indifferent” to money, he told us. In their spacious inner-city apartment, Caleb appreciated both minimalism and quality. He enjoyed shopping at the local, pricier shops, rather than the supermarket where things were cheaper, and his approach to paying bills on time was relaxed. He explained with self-deprecating humour that he was “raised in the lap of luxury”, “firmly ensconced in the most comfortable class”.

“The class thing” had been at the forefront of Jacinta’s mind for a while, she told us. Despite Caleb’s family’s affluence, their wealth hadn’t been apparent to Jacinta in the early days of their relationship. Of course, she’d known Caleb’s family had money: their “nice house” was in “a very fancy part of town”, with “libraries of books on the walls”.

But they also actively obscured the advantages their wealth afforded them, and they loathed obvious displays of wealth. For Jacinta, who grew up under very different financial circumstances, this contradiction was difficult to grasp. Her in-laws lived a seemingly understated life, but one that was expensive to sustain.

Jacinta’s mum was 16 when Jacinta was born and later partnered with a man who also had a child and who already owned a house. Jacinta lived out the rest of her childhood with her mum, stepdad and three siblings in suburban Melbourne. Her mum was a primary carer and worked as a cleaner when she could. Her stepdad was a security guard. The family “sacrificed” so Jacinta and her siblings could play netball and gymnastics, although things like school camps were too expensive. Jacinta left school at 17, but eventually found her passion working as a producer in TV.

Once they moved in together, Caleb and Jacinta’s very different day-to-day approaches to financial matters became a hindrance and they found themselves frequently clashing over things “as basic as the food shopping every week”. On the one hand, Jacinta budgeted and planned. Caleb, on the other, reflected that he had “been kind of coasting” through life and wasn’t worried about money or accumulating it. “I’ve never really given a shit about that because it’s always been drummed into me that I don’t really need to.”

Different views on home ownership

It was the question of home ownership, and its relationship to growing wealth inequality , that really illustrated to them both how their differently classed childhoods had shaped their different relationships to money as adults – or their “different views of its possibility”, as Jacinta expressed it.

The role of intergenerational wealth in securing access to home ownership is frequently discussed in Australia. Owning assets today can pay more than working for wages, making intergenerational transfers of wealth a key mechanism in the 21st-century logic of class, centred on access to finance.

Jacinta and Caleb grappled with this painful new reality within their relationship. Renting had been a necessity for Jacinta since she left home – she now wants the security afforded by home ownership. Jacinta told us she was saving money and keeping a close eye on the housing market, as buying had become a very real possibility due to Caleb’s parents’ wealth.

“My family are always trying to buy us a house,” Caleb told us, laughing. His parents have even researched places and options, and stand ready to bear much of the financial burden. Caleb remains disengaged but felt that he and Jacinta will likely buy something in the end. “I don’t really care if I’m getting into the wrong part of the market,” he told us. “I don’t want to think about it that much.”

In sum, Caleb conveyed a cool disinterest that Jacinta could not entertain about this crucial question.

Realities of class

Our research shows that being in a cross-class relationship brings the realities of class more sharply into view. Couples like Felicia and Patrick, and Caleb and Jacinta, could not avoid conversations about class, as they grappled with possibilities, tensions and hurt that were in some way connected to their very different formative experiences.

Class proved a clarifying – and in some cases liberating – vocabulary to discuss some of these things. It provided our interviewees with a way to analyse the unequal distribution of advantages and material assets in our society.

Money is only one part of this picture.

Class can play a role in shaping our expectations, anxieties and confidence, as both Patrick and Caleb pondered, from very different ends of the class spectrum, in their interviews with us. Sometimes, the class-based priorities and values we are raised with in childhood might come to repel us as adults, as Felicia explored.

And for Jacinta, access to material assets, including housing, could not be seriously discussed without recognising the significance of class-based wealth. It was her romantic relationship across class with the wealthier Caleb, more than her trajectory through school, mature-age study and work as a TV producer, that had brought home ownership within reach. And ironically, Caleb’s own ease of access to the money to buy a house produced an indifference to the home ownership she wanted.

Cross-class relationships demand facing class honestly. And in an increasingly unequal Australia , class is something many of us should think about more often. The personal reckonings we have documented, we hope, will stimulate a more honest, society-wide conversation about class in the midst of this growing inequality.

This essay draws on research and interviews from Love Across Class (MUP) by Eve Vincent and Rose Butler.

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Understanding Permissive Parenting: Definition and Impact on Child Development

This essay about permissive parenting examines its definition and impact on child development. Permissive parents are loving but provide few rules, leading to potential issues like lack of discipline and self-control in children. The essay discusses the balance needed between warmth and structure to ensure positive outcomes such as strong parent-child bonds and the development of creativity and problem-solving skills while mitigating negative effects like aggression and dependency.

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Home — Essay Samples — Life — Divorce — My Experience of Growing Up with Divorced Parents

My Experience of Growing Up with Divorced Parents

• Categories: Divorce Parents

About this sample

Words: 407 |

Updated: 8 November, 2023

Words: 407 | Page: 1 | 3 min read

Works Cited

• Amato, P. R., & Kane, J. B. (2011). Life-course pathways and the psychosocial adjustment of children of divorce. Journal of Family Issues, 32(2), 153-171.
• Emery, R. E. (2019). Two homes, one childhood: A parenting plan to last a lifetime. Penguin.
• Fabricius, W. V., & Luecken, L. J. (2007). Postdivorce living arrangements, parent conflict, and long-term physical health correlates for children of divorce. Journal of Family Psychology, 21(2), 195-205.
• Fine, M. A., & Fine, G. A. (2014). Handbook of divorce and relationship dissolution. Routledge.
• Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The seven principles for making marriage work: A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert. Three Rivers Press.
• Hetherington, E. M., & Kelly, J. (2002). For better or for worse: Divorce reconsidered. W. W. Norton & Company.
• Irwin, R. L., & Ryan, J. M. (2013). Counseling and divorce. Springer Science & Business Media.
• Kelly, J. B., & Emery, R. E. (2003). Children's adjustment following divorce: Risk and resilience perspectives. Family Relations, 52(4), 352-362.
• Wallerstein, J. S., Lewis, J. M., & Blakeslee, S. (2000). The unexpected legacy of divorce: The 25 year landmark study. Hachette UK.
• Walsh, F. (2016). Normal family processes: Growing diversity and complexity. Guilford Publications.

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Are Selena Gomez's parents immigrants? Everything to know about singer-produced Netflix series Living Undocumented

S elena Gomez is a multi-platinum recording artist, philanthropist, actress, and producer. The Emilia Perez actress is the executive producer of the Netflix documentary Living Undocumented .

She was approached with the project in 2017 and was moved to tears after she watched footage of people who live in constant fear of deportation. Released in 2019, the six-part series follows the lives of eight undocumented immigrant families in the United States.

The Single Soon singer was born to Mandy Teefey and Ricardo Joel Gomez on July 22, 1992. While her mother was in Texas and has Italian ancestry, her father's side of the family has a complicated immigration history. Gomez penned an emotional note in honor of the documentary and the lives that are affected by undocumented immigration.

Everything about Living Undocumented

Executive-produced by Selena Gomez , Living Undocumented debuted on Netflix on October 2, 2019. The six-part documentary series does not depict fictional portrayals but rather follows the lives of eight families who live in six different states, hail from six different countries, and experience various problems due to their immigration status. According to Vulture, the families hail from Honduras, Mexico, Colombia, Laos, Israel, and Mauritania.

The series has been co-directed and co–executive produced by Aaron Saidman and Anna Chai. To find the families, the producers scanned through hundreds of potential candidates through local news, immigration attorneys, and even social media.

Gomez took to her Instagram to share a glimpse of the documentary. The footage shows a young girl who was separated from her uncle and aunt as they were detained at the borders.

"I feel afraid for my country," Executive Producer Selena Gomez writes powerful essay for Living Undocumented

Selena Gomez took to her Instagram to post about the release and expressed gratitude and joy in participating in the documentary. She wrote,

"Grateful to play a part in getting this out into the world."

Additionally, she penned an emotional and powerful essay in honor of the documentary with Time. The Rare Beauty founder wrote that she thinks about undocumented immigrants daily and is grateful to be born in the United States. However, she penned down her pain in seeing the atrocities faced by immigrants and expressed her fear,

"When I read the news headlines or see debates about immigration rage on social media, I feel afraid for those in similar situations. I feel afraid for my country."

In her essay, she acknowledged that she is not an expert on the complexities of immigration, but she recognizes that it can dismantle lives. Selena Gomez urged her readers who think about undocumented immigration and noted,

"How we deal with it speaks to our humanity, our empathy, our compassion. How we treat our fellow human beings defines who we are."

She also offered an idea in which everyone can contribute towards this sensitive cause. She wrote,

"It's time to listen to the people whose lives are being directly affected by immigration policies."

"It's time to get to know the individuals whose complex stories have been reduced to basic headlines."

Selena talks about her family's immigration and her message for immigrant graduates

Living Undocumented is close to Selena Gomez's heart and her family's experiences. In the essay, she also wrote about her family and noted her family's experiences crossing the border from Mexico and living in the United States. She wrote that in the 1970s, her aunt crossed the Mexico border and entered the United States "hidden in the back of a truck."

Selena Gomez further revealed that her grandparents followed, and her father was born in Texas. She reported that her family has worked hard for four decades to gain US citizenship. She wrote,

"In 1992, I was born a U.S. citizen thanks to their bravery and sacrifice."

In 2020, she talked about her family in a graduation speech and praised immigrant students who graduated during the COVID pandemic. She said,

"I want you guys to know that you matter and that your experiences are a huge part of the American story."

Selena Gomez's experience of Living Undocumented touches on her own personal experiences. Her essay urges her fans to become more aware of immigration concerns and educate themselves about the millions of people in the country.

The European housing crisis warping millennial life: The average Croatian lives with parents until 33

• The average Croatian leaves their parents' home at 33 years old — the highest age in the EU.
• It's expensive for young people to buy or rent in Croatia. BI visited Dubrovnik to investigate.
• Millennials there described feeling like teens in their 30s, despite being business owners and parents.

Lukša Malohodžić is 27 and runs a successful business — life ought to be going his way. But he still lives with his mom and dad.

He runs boat tours for wealthy tourists showing off the stunning Adriatic coast — keenly aware that he can't afford life there.

Like vast numbers of Croatian millennials , he's yet to fly the nest, and doesn't see it happening soon.

Seated at a café in Dubrovnik's Old Town in mid-April, he reflected on the situation.

"There comes a point where it starts to weigh on you," he said. "You begin to think, 'I really ought to change this,' but what can you do?"

According to Eurostat, the EU statistical office, the average Croatian leaves their parents' home at over 33 years of age, its highest figure.

For men, it's even higher — at just under 35.

In the US, almost everyone has moved out by then. US census figures say only 16% of Americans aged 25-34 live with parents.

BI visited Croatia in April, the start of Dubrovnik's tourism season, to hear firsthand how it's affecting millennials there.

They spoke of feeling stuck and infantilized: a woman of 35 whose relatives keep reading her mail, a grown man whose grandma kept track of his dating.

Based on the data, Malohodžić can expect to live under his parents' roof for another seven years, but it could be even longer.

"It's hard to buy anything or even rent," Malohodžić said. "It's just crazy."

Eurostat notes that house prices in Croatia have consistently climbed over the past decade. Last year, Croatia had the highest annual increase in the house price index among all EU member states.

Malohodžić says a "big majority" of his friends are in the same situation as he is, with only a fortunate few having inherited properties.

Property prices in Dubrovnik, a picturesque UNESCO World Heritage Site , are especially high.

According to news outlet Total Croatia , the average purchase price for an apartment or house in the city is slightly above 3,600 euros per square meter, equivalent to roughly $335 a square foot.

The US figure is roughly $230 a square foot, with much bigger salaries to buy it.

The average salary in the US is more than triple Croatia's, $59,000 or so to $18,500 in Croatia.

"You can't make the kind of money here that you need to buy properties," says Ivan Vukovic , a tour guide who has lived in Dubrovnik since he was born in 1981.

Vukovic has lived through Dubrovnik's various transformations over the years — from the bustling crowds during the Yugoslav tourism boom of the mid-1980s, to the devastation of the War of Independence and the subsequent return of cruise ships in the postwar era.

Today, he finds himself part of another tourism boom — fueled by tourists eager to see the city that served as King's Landing in HBO's "Game of Thrones."

While tourism brings economic opportunities for Vukovic and many others, he says it has also worsened the already dysfunctional housing market.

The surge in foreigners wanting a slice of Dubrovnik has driven up the demand for vacation homes, he said, and local entrepreneurs are increasingly flipping properties into Airbnbs to make money.

AirDNA, a short-term rental data analytics company, told BI that Dubrovnik, which has a population of about 41,000, has more than 5,500 properties listed on Airbnb or the Expedia-owned Vrbo during the summer months.

"Both foreigners and wealthy locals mainly use these properties as investments because the return is very good," Filip Brkan, a member of the Real Estate Business Association of the Croatian Chamber of Economy, told BI.

For renters, this can make finding a place for the whole year nearly impossible. The money that can be made from short-term rentals also drives up the price of buying vacant properties.

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"What needs to be done in Croatia is to increase the housing supply," said Brkan.

But in parts of Dubrovnik, Vukovic explained, that's not feasible.

"We cannot expand," the tour guide said. "It's a small city protected by UNESCO, and the price has skyrocketed because somebody always wants to buy real estate in Dubrovnik."

For Josip Crncevic, 34, prices feel far out of reach.

"I always like to tell my guests on the tour that, right now, it will probably take two lifetimes to buy something within the walls," he said.

Even in Dubrovnik's suburbs, Crncevic said homeownership is unattainable for him.

For now, he lives in a multi-generation , three-story family house about seven miles outside the city.

His uncle's family lives on the top floor and his grandmother below, in a setup Crncevic describes as three distinct apartments, each with a private entrance and lock.

While it's not the situation he dreamt he'd been in at 34, he said there are some positives.

Crncevic enjoys helping his grandmother with daily tasks, though the proximity has posed challenges in the past, especially when it comes to dating.

"My grandmother is the best CCTV in the area," he said.

Establishing boundaries

Privacy is a recurring issue for many millennials living in similar conditions in Croatia.

Marija, a 35-year-old who asked to be referred to only by her first name in order to speak candidly about living with her in-laws, said the decision was born of necessity.

Marija and her husband moved into his parents' home in 2019 because they couldn't find affordable rent , and buying was not an option.

Although it seemed like a sound financial move, Marija said she now views it as a big mistake.

"We would like to have some kind of privacy, and not to be interrogated on a daily basis," she said.

The biggest problem is establishing boundaries "like not reading our mail and not entering the home without knocking," she added.

Sanja Cikato, a 47-year-old who lives with her husband and two teenage children above her mother, said setting those boundaries took patience and perseverance.

"It wasn't perfect in the beginning, but later, with time, we simply learned how to live together in this house," she said.

Cikato said achieving this required open and honest conversations, but that her mother still occasionally eavesdrops on the couple's quarrels.

Despite the difficulties, she said the benefits, such as help with childcare , outweigh the drawbacks.

When her children, now 12 and 14, were younger, her mother was a live-in babysitter , enabling Cikato to work longer hours during the tourist season.

Diana Marlais, another working parent, echoed this, telling BI that multi-generational living is a life-saver for working parents.

Cikato also said the setup creates a special bond between her mom and her kids, and that she wants to replicate it when her own children are adults.

"You have to understand that was something really normal before," she said.

But Malohodžić, who represents the younger cohort of Croatian millennials, sees it as being "purely economic" rather than a tradition worth upholding.

He said he wouldn't choose to live this way if finances weren't such a factor.

He wouldn't choose to be in his late 20s and to still "sometimes feel like a teenager."

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